#still feel like im missing something though

[rafessweetgirl]

ˏˋ°•*⁀➷ i've been missing you ~ joaquín torres

➷ featuring: joaquín torres!!

➷ synopsis: joaquín's finally come home from what felt like the longest week of your lives. he needs to show you how much he's sorry for being gone for so long. how much he appreciates you. how much he loves you. even if it means waking you up in the middle of the night.

➷ warnings: 18+, mdni!!!!, smut, oral sex (f! receiving), fingering, porn w/ plot???, swearing, fluff, soft sweet cutesy joaquín, semi-somno (leaving this here just incase), reader acts like joaquín hung the stars and the moon for her...he would've if he wasn't beat to it by like thousands of years.

➷ word count: 1.2k

➷ notes: new character unlocked!! lots of firsts here; first joaquin fic, first marvel fic (odd considering i fuckin love marvel), first time writing a full smut fic, first fic that's not based on a song whattttt?? i wasnt sure if i should go full on somno, but that's alr bc we love consent. i love joaquín and this is what i imagine he would act like when he feels guilty. enjoy!! <3 (gif by @monikanarnia)

you look so pretty like this. smooth, soft skin, covered only by the soft linen sheets in which your legs are tangled. your sleeping form, barely visible in the dark room. you’re lying on your back, your hands resting on the mattress near both sides of your head. it’s a scene joaquín wants a picture of. if only he could freeze time, step out of his body and capture not just an image, but a feeling too.

joaquín's restless. he’d spent all week without you. he still wonders how he withstood such a long period away and if you felt the same. after the first day, he felt like he was experiencing withdrawal, everyday without you his own personal hell. you’re his drug. he could just never have enough of you. really, he could never have too much.

his back is also to the bed, chest to the ceiling. his head is turned towards you, eyes roaming your relaxed form. the room is dark, illuminated only by the moon. it’s mostly silent. he’s hyper aware of the subtle sounds, though. the clashing of waves outside. the creaking of the open balcony doors, opening a bit more with the breeze. his breathing. your breathing. even something as simple as your soft slow breaths entrances joaquín.

you were sleep when he arrived home, but it was evident that you tried to stay up. the living room was set up for a movie night with snacks set on the coffee table, fluffy throw blankets lying on the couch, and the tv already set to the movie you’d picked out for the two of you. always so sweet and considerate, joaquín thought. he felt bad about keeping you waiting for so long. you’d awaken only long enough to realize he was home, greeting him lazily before falling back into your slumber.

he turns his body to face yours. you deserve some kind of loving from him. a gift for being his gift. it's the least he could do.

he sits up and moves himself, landing in between your thighs. he reaches for your hand, threading his fingers through your limp ones. he doesn’t want to take advantage of you. he just wants to make you feel good. reward you for being so sweet to him. apologize for being away for so long.

“baby?” he tests. “you awake?”

your eyes flutter open. “mmm.”

he lets out a quiet chuckle. “i don’t know what ‘mmm’ means sweetheart.”

“im awake,” you reply groggily.

"good," he brings his face close to your mound. “can i make you feel good?”

you nod tiredly. how could you say no to him? he was irresistible. even when the two of you fought, you couldn't harbor any negative feelings towards him for long.

he shifts upward, gently pressing his lips to your stomach, not quite kissing you. he moves back down, and puckers his lips, delivering sweet kisses to your clit. “is this okay?”

you squeeze his hand as you nod. “mhm.”

“uh uh, needa hear you say yes.”

“yes baby,” you whine.

joaquín groans, the nickname making the blood rush to his dick. he presses an open-mouthed kiss to your cunt, letting his tongue graze over your core. he darts his tongue out and licks a long stripe upwards. you moan and squeeze his hand again. he decides to repeat the action, this time putting more pressure on. he knows how to work your body. knows when to suck and when to lick. when to speed up and when to take it slow.

“i’m so sorry, baby,” he mumbles against you.

“sorry for what?” you question breathlessly.

“for keeping you waiting-“ another kiss. “for taking so long to come home.” his tongue dives in between your folds, as if he’s searching for something. maybe, it’s forgiveness. “you don’t know how much i missed you.”

his other hand finds its way to your thigh. he rubs his thumb back and forth over it. he wants to do anything he can to show you how much he appreciates you.

“joaquín,” you moan, as he brings two fingers to rub your clit. you let your eyes flutter shut, reveling in his softness. “it’s okay, you don’t- fuck.” he speeds up. “you don’t need to apologize. jus glad you’re home safe. missed you more.”

he continues his movements on your cunt, pulling you closer and closer to the edge. he pleasures you the way he loves you, soft but purposeful. “yeah? missed me like i missed you?”

“uh huh,” you pant. "missed you so bad joaquín." you repeat his name again, this time in a moan. you're almost there, teetering closer to your release. you unravel your hand from his, moving both your hands to grip onto his dark hair, squeezing, pulling, grabbing. you rock your hips in tune with the strokes from his tongue. you use joaquín to chase your orgasm and he doesn't mind one bit. he lives for every little reaction your body gives to him. the gasps, the moans, the way your body locks up, when you're about to cum- all of it.

joaquín gives you one last long lick, finally gifting you what you've been needing all along.

your back arches off the bed as you throw your head back into the fluffy pillows. your hips freeze and your lips form into an o, letting out a gasp and then a silent moan. pleasure rushes through every vein in your body. it's a lot to handle, but you love this, you love him. you love how he knows your body so well, as if it was his own. joaquín never fails to worship you how you deserve.

he reels back to admire his precious view. your bare chest rises up and down, your arms back where they stared with your luscious hair splayed out on the pillow. you give him a warm smile. "you look so pretty when you cum, sweetheart." he drags his two fingers from your clit and inserts them inside of you. he fingers you gently, helping you ride out your high.

you giggle. "thanks." your exhaustion and post-orgasm bliss combined mimics the feeling of being drunk. you're on cloud nine now and you don't plan on coming down anytime soon. everything is perfect now that you have your lover back home. your other half. your twin flame.

he continues to finger you, slightly curling his fingers. he's still gentle with it and careful not to overstimulate you. he wants to make sure you can fall back asleep easily.

you sit up slowly, making sure not to remove his fingers from inside you. you reach your hands out and joaquín leans forward, placing his head in your hands. you lean in and kiss him softly and it feels right. it’s like taking a deep refreshing breath after being suffocated for what felt like forever.

“i love you torres. missed you so much.” something about you calling him by his surname gets him. you always use it as if it was really his first.

"i love you too baby, and i missed you more.”

you slip your hand in between your bodies, reaching for his cock. “i feel selfish, let me help you feel good.”

he stops you. “you already did, princess. we can worry about that tomorrow. let’s get you back to sleep.”

you sigh dramatically, prompting a laugh from him. “fiiine..” you lay back, already imagining all the ways you could properly welcome him home tomorrow.

for now though, he lies down behind you, wrapping his arms around you and pulling you into him. you snuggle into him. your limbs tangle together similar to how tree roots do in a rainforest. your bodies take their time reconnecting after all this time apart, your hearts never disconnecting, not even for a second.

➷ notes: sooo half of the original work got deleted.....idek how to explain it. js know i don't recommend having the same draft opened on mobile and laptop at the same time while in separate stages of a fic on each device....but im so goated (jp) that i remembered pretty much exactly what i wrote, only after having a meltdown over losing it. and almost crying. can u tell this is important to me? anyways feedback is welcome, nd reqs are always open <3 love ya

➷ tags: @sweetstrawberrianne @littlesoulshine (lmk if you want added!)

© rafessweetgirl ~ 2025

[winteringdream]

MY BOYFRIEND ! ──── park sungho

✩ ⋅ pairing. bf!park sungho x gn!reader ✩ ⋅ genre. fluff, headcanons ✩ ⋅ warnings. none! ✩ ⋅ wc. 1k-ish ✩ ⋅ riwoo's version! | woonhak's version! | taesan's version!

BOYFRIEND SUNGHO WHO WOULD ... encourage you to go to the gym with him.

It’s a chilly afternoon, and you’re curled up on the couch, wrapped in a cozy blanket, scrolling on your phone. Sungho walks into the living room and smiles at the sight of you rolled up like a burrito.

"Hey," he says, his usual bright smile on full display. "You know, you’re looking a little too comfortable there." He teases, his eyes glinting with playful energy. "How about you join me for a quick workout? You’ve been working hard lately, and I think you could use a little break… with some endorphins."

You groan, sinking deeper into the blanket. "I’m too lazy to go, Sungho."

He kneels beside the couch, locking eyes with you. "Come on, just a short session. I’ll even make it fun. We can start slow, and afterward, I’ll treat you to your favorite smoothie. Deal?"

You roll your eyes but can’t suppress a smile. "Ugh, I hate you, you know me too well."

Sungho grins, pulling you up with surprising strength. "Exactly. Now, let’s go. I’ll make sure you’re not the only one who’s tired after this," he adds with a wink.

Laughing, you let him drag you to the gym, knowing that his encouragement will make it more fun than you expect.

BOYFRIEND SUNGHO WHO WOULD ... offer to pick you up or drive you if it’s late.

It’s past midnight, and you’re walking home from the library, your backpack weighing a little heavier than usual after a long study session.

The campus is quiet, with only a few students around. Your phone buzzes in your pocket, and you pull it out to see a text from Sungho: "hey are you still heading home?"

You quickly reply, "yeah, just finishing up. its really late, but im almost there."

A few seconds later, your phone rings. Sungho’s name lights up the screen.

"Hey," you answer, your voice a little tired.

"Where are you?" Sungho asks, his voice laced with concern. "You should’ve called me. It’s really late, and I don’t like the idea of you walking alone."

You smile, even though you can hear the worry in his tone. "I’m fine, Sungho. It’s just a quick walk back to the dorm."

There’s a brief pause, "I don’t care. I’m coming to pick you up. Just wait right there."

You try to protest, but he interrupts, "Nope. Don’t argue. I’ll be there in five minutes. Just stay where you are."

You shake your head, though you’re touched by his insistence. "You don’t have to, really."

"I do. Just wait for me," he says firmly before hanging up.

Just a few minutes later you see his car pull up. Sungho grins when he spots you, waving you over as he rolls down the window.

"Hop in. Your safety is my priority. You can lecture me about overprotectiveness later."

You chuckle as you climb into the passenger seat, "Thanks, Sungho. I guess I can’t really argue with that."

He flashes a smile. "You’re welcome. Now, let’s get you home safe."

BOYFRIEND SUNGHO WHO WOULD ... pretend to be a detective when you’re trying to find something.

You’ve been searching for your keys for what feels like an eternity. The couch cushions are flipped, your bag’s contents are scattered, and you’re starting to get frustrated.

Just as you're about to give up, you see Sungho. He grins, leaning against the doorframe. "Lost something, detective?" he teases, crossing his arms.

"Yes!" you reply, a little exasperated. "I can't find my keys."

"Ah-ha!" he exclaims in a deep, mysterious voice, pulling out a small magnifying glass from his pocket and holding it up to your keychain. "I’ve found a clue."

You blink at him in confusion. "What are you doing?"

Sungho winks, dropping to his knees and dramatically scanning the floor. "There’s no time to waste, detective. We’re on a crucial case here. Missing keys, likely stolen by an unseen force."

You can’t help but laugh at his antics, but he’s serious. Well, sort of serious. He pulls out a rubber band, a random pencil, and a packet of gum from his pockets, one by one, as though they’re important evidence.

"Aha! Another clue," he says, holding up the rubber band as though it’s a breakthrough in a major investigation. "I can see it now. These keys didn’t just disappear. They were taken by the Great Key Thief."

You burst out laughing, finally spotting your keys under the table. "Sungho, I found them!"

He jumps up with a smile. "Another mystery solved, my trusty sidekick."

"Right," you giggle, shaking your head. "Thanks, detective."

"What can I say, I'm the best detective there is." he shrugs, before walking over to you and kissing you goodbye.

BOYFRIEND SUNGHO WHO WOULD ... playfully change the lyrics of a song to something ridiculous just to tease you.

Sungho sits on the couch, lazily strumming his guitar while you lay next to him, half-listening as you scroll through your phone. The melody is familiar so you hum along absentmindedly.

Then, suddenly, he starts singing. But the lyrics are different this time.

"I was gonna buy you flowers~ but then I ate them instead~ ‘cause they looked kinda tasty~ and now my stomach is dead~”

You blink, looking up at him. "What?"

Sungho keeps going, his expression way too serious for the nonsense he’s singing. "I wrote you a love song~ but my dog chewed the notes~ so now I’m just making it up~ please pretend it’s good—”

A laugh bursts out of you before you can stop it. "Sungho, what are you doing?"

Making it better." he grins, not stopping the strumming. "

You shake your head, grabbing a nearby pillow and lightly smacking his arm with it. "That’s not how the song goes!"

"Sounds better this way, don’t you think?" he winks, shifting closer. "Or are you just mad because you secretly love it?"

You roll your eyes but can’t hide your smile. "You’re ridiculous."

Sungho only grins wider, playing a few more random chords before singing dramatically, "And now my girlfriend’s embarrassed~ but she’s totally in love with meee".

"I’m leaving."

He laughs, catching your wrist before you can stand. "No, no, come on, stay. I’ll sing it properly this time."

You hesitate, giving him a sceptical look. "For real?"

"For real." He clears his throat, fingers gliding into the first chords of the actual song.

His voice softens, taking on that smooth, familiar tone you love. This time, the lyrics are right, and for once, he’s not joking around.

You settle back down beside him, watching as he sings just for you.

BOYFRIEND SUNGHO WHO WOULD ... give the last bite to you.

You’re sitting across from Sungho at your favorite late-night spot, sharing a plate of fries. It’s not a big portion, and between the two of you, they’ve disappeared fast. Now, only one fry remains.

You glance at it. He does too.

For a second, there’s silence.

Then, without a word, Sungho casually pushes the plate toward you and leans back in his seat, stretching his arms behind his head like he doesn’t care.

"Go ahead," he says, looking off to the side as if he’s not even thinking about it.

"You sure?" you ask, even though you know the answer.

"I'm not really hungry." he shrugs.

"You were just complaining about how you didn't eat enough earlier."

"Yeah, well. You like fries more than I do." he replies, nudging the plate even closer to you.

You pick up the last piece, eating it slowly as you watch him.

Sungho doesn’t meet your gaze, but you know he can see you in his peripheral vision. Then suddenly, the corner of his mouth twitches up when he sees you looking at him.

"Knew you were looking at me." you tease, taking a sip of your drink.

He scoffs but laughs, shaking his head. "Shut up."

bonedo taglist: @ihruaz @tmrwsuns @lakoya

[prettybugsinbandages]

GRRRRRRR IM EATING THIS CHAPTER UP!!!!

Do they understand tho??? Do they know what Blot! Reader means??? When they say they died alone???

Do you think they're thinking back to the winter, wondering when they changed? Or did they only realize they changed now that they're thinking back on it?

Did Yuuna skim over her memory of winter? Did she wonder when Blot! Reader left, when they could’ve died? (Not could, when they did die, she must’ve thought to herself)

Do you think Yuuna couldn’t think of a time? Not because she always saw them but because she rarely saw them? She never avoided them, but she didn’t seek them out either. (Was that their death sentence, she must’ve thought to herself. Did she inadvertently kill them?)

And Rook calling Blot! Reader Petite Star :( did he just call them Star after the reveal cause no Star could be petite if it still lives on after death? Maybe there was a reason, maybe not. Maybe it doesn’t matter either way, they’ll be the small overlooked star that so few take the time to admire to him.

Ace :( oh Ace… he must’ve thought so hard to that winter. When did they die? How could he have missed it? Why didn’t he notice how they were dead? … why can’t he remember what they were like before then…?

AND LEONA AHHHH. BLOWING HIM UP WITH MY MIND!!! Oooh I got SO annoyed when he started biting back. “Do you want an arbitrary?” I so wanted to snap back and be like “would you even know what to say about me before my death?” CAUSE LIKE!!! HOW DARE HE?? I know it’s the emotion he must’ve leaned on to cope with the situation, but that shit? Most definitely would’ve bitten back worse. What leg does he have to stand on over a dead body that will plague his mind for so many nights?

AND ADDING ONTO THAT!! The birthday thing!! I personally have a birthday in the winter, and being able to say “well, it already passed and I didn’t really wanna celebrate my birthday without my family” would’ve been so nice…just the angst potential, that little bit of negativity rising over the “they mean well”.

And lore wise (in game) I saw my winter birthday would’ve happened over the Kidnapping In Scarabia. And the thought that MC wouldn’t have been able to celebrate their birthday cause they literally had to death with a kidnapping, hostage situation, AND an Overblot? UGH so much angst potential.

Omg I’m so sorry for the total word vomit!!! I just have so many feelings about the whole Blot! Reader thing!!! The angst!!! The emotions!!! The peak writing!!! I’m eating it all!!!!!!! Thank you so much for the meal 🙏😋🍽️

Woah! I love the super long asks like yay talk to mee

The understand the basics and they sorta understand the reader died alone. Though the reader had only become someone noticeable after making a deal with the blot and "dying", so its more a realization they've been friends with a dead person the whole time.

Yuuka did think back to that one blizzard where reader returned completely different. She assumed they'd had some sort of internal revelation. As one of the Yuus, they never actually actively avoided her. In fact, they were one of the few that interacted with her on a normal level and couldn't understand why nobody else did. Still, the guilt is def there.

I chose the name Étoile or Petite Étoile because of how brightly he thinks the reader shines, yet how distant they seem no matter what. There'd always been something unreachable he couldn't place.

Ace is an extra hard one dealing with it. He had technically known the reader before the Blot contract though they barely spoke and he tended to forget about them anyway. Finding out someone close to you died and you could've saved them just by reaching out more and bringing them into the group was devastating. Especially because post contract when the reader finally is able to interact with people, they grow close.

Leona is an annoying character and not the most emotionally intelligent in some regards, I'd think. Especially with dealing with grief. He's mad of course. Mad he didn't know the reader before beyond the overblot and couldn't have done anything to help, but especially mad because of the situation now and how he still can't do anything. What's done was done. He's honestly feeling pretty hopeless. And because of that, he snaps out at anything (really needs therapy). Leona's the type to have something bad happen and instead of doing literally anything normal, he acts like an edgy teen, shuts people out, and lashes out.

I was thinking of giving the reader a birthday, but since the reader is well, a reader, I don't want to set and assign personal things. Instead, I hoped that section dug into birthday memories and experiences for them instead.

But yeah. Having a birthday around the same time as an overblot must've been crazyy. I'd be mad as hell w that

I love long asks so I totally don't mind ty ty ty and thank you for reading my little project<3

[daisybell-on-a-carousel]

Honestly at this point starting to feel I've managed to miss Jason's characterization while he was alive because he really really does not and has never seemed especially angry to me, but the comics are trying to hammer it in so much, it's like all they mention is his anger and impulsiveness and his death but like??

I can never remember jaybin (<-is that what we call jason robin for short?) being like that, certainly not to the extent they're always saying, to me his anger wasn't that much, and it pretty much matched with batman's, it wasn't greater than anyone else's, and it just felt like general new hero anger, I cannot stress enough just how off all these flashbacks and talking about him feel wrong to me

[ganondoodle]

so, after not having access to my PC or time to draw for several days i had a cool idea i wanted to try but of course it didnt work out

so im posting the one screenshot i made and how far i got (its not very far and i got desperate at the end just spinnign around the colors in hopes it would solve whatever issue is blocking me from drawing properly..)

idea was to show just how scary it would be to encounter demise randomly in the land, hes really big in my story and its rarely clear bc in what i have drawn so far hes mostly only next to hylia and with her being taller than him they look rather reasonably sized

anyway, heres the unfinished thing

[thesupernaturalhouse]

Vaggie: Alastor can you watch the eggs their being....eggs and I have to- just take them off my hands

Alastor: ooo i certainly will....

Vaggie:.....in a peaceful manner. Alastor.

Alastor: mmm well that's less fun, also why should I watch them?

Vaggie: well you're going to some meeting and I have to help charlie-

Alastor: didn't she excuse you from your duties for today?

Vaggie:...why would she- why would I ask for that??

Alastor: why, you have to come to this meeting to my dear!

Vaggie: no I dont?? It's an overlord meeting I'm not an overlord-

Alastor: but you are!

Vaggie: if anything charlie should probably be going with you rather then me- what what??

Alastor: I'll explain on the way! *just fucking leaves*

Vaggie: wha- alastor! Alastor I swear to the lord you better explain!

Alastor: hmmm, well you're an overlord my dear I don't think there's anything else TO explain

Vaggie: right...but I'm NOT an overlord??

Alastor: I beg to differ, I knew there was something off about you but couldn't place it until Charlie said something

Vaggie: Charlie- what does- okay you know what? You're insane. I'm going to go talk to Charlie myself!

Alastor grabs her shirt collar like a kitten: ah-ah-ah you have a meeting to attend my dear! It's be bad manners if you skipped it, whoch I suppose you've been skipping them for the past 5 or so years?

Vaggie: No, I haven't! and let go of my you asshole!

Alastor: hmmm no I don't think I will~ come on now! We're already half way there!

Vaggie: ugh, at least tell me how you and xharlie think I'm an overlord- which I'm NOT by the way!

Alastor: well...do you remember that sinner you saved? The one you had a slat with and ended uo teaching self defense?

Vaggie: how do you-....ah, charlie- what does that have to do with anything??

Alastor radio noise of displeasure: well, APPARENTLY they told more demons, you DO remember the large influx of demons who came to you right?

Vaggie: I.....I um....yeah....

Alastor: well they said they owed you 'favors' correct?

Vaggie:....fuck.

Alastor: they gave you their souls until said favor is called upon! You not using it has apparently given you the reputation of a very lenient overlord, a defensive and protective one at that! So more people cane to you, you trianed them in defense and most gave you their souls so you could call upon them for a favor at a time of your choosing!

Vaggie: going through the 5 stages of grief trying to process it all

Alastor: On top of that, the other overlords seem to be threatened by the fact you have so many souls and demons going to you WILLINGLY, you not showing up to meetings and beong little morningstars girlfriend doesnt help that either!So this will be a fun first meeting~

Vaggie: no no no no no nope! Alastor, you let me go right this second! I am not- no! Alastor! Alastor!!!

Zestial: Alastor and...oh the defensive Overlord nice to meet you again nd to finally meet you

Vaggie: ¿¡Quién diablos es esta araña joder!? (Who the hell is this spider fuck!?)

Part 1 | Part 2(here!!) | Part 3

[ang-li]

does anyone ever think about how rachels post gm lifestyle is basically as taylor described to her when they met up in new delhi and taylor never got to fulfill her side of it.. but a part of her will always be in rachels life because it was taylors care and companionship that helped rachel forge this life for herself and build a community that supports her.....

[biblically-accurate-dca]

@vanweek2024 day 7 - sunrise

tomorrow is another day

[emsobles]

sorry about all the what we do in the shadows spam, I watched the finale and realised how much I deeply care for this show and I was VERY sad about nandermo

[cent-scratchnsniff]

HI CAN I BEG FOR MORE NETSOD CONTENT ON MY HANDS AND KNEES I LOVE THEM I LOVE YOUR ART AND I BEG OF YOU KILL YESOD WITH THE BEER MAN. "I think I'm dying" was too funny. he would think he's dying the nanosecond he realizes heartrate rises not just with work anxiety, but affectionate social anxiety. valentines is going to send him to the ER watch

i was going to make a smaller post abt it. a simple shitpost. but it ended up being longer. about 9 pages or the sort in total. i tried to have it out during the literal date for it but most likely it will be out in the next hopefully at most 30 hours ... .. answering this now so you dont think im ignoring it. the actual finished result be posted in a seperate one. as you can see. dialog/planning plus four pages are done art wise already though!!

small sippets from progress plus yesod from the warmup doodles as a peace offering .. . ..

[asexualbookbird]

i know ive said this already but i want to say it again and again and again but so many people have made these last eleven days easier. I mean nothing ablut this has been easy, and I do still feel guilty about even THINKING about the fact I'm not crying 24/7 but like. The internet made the cost easier to bear. Friends have gone for walks. Given me hugs. Sent goodies. All to ease the pain. Despite it all, I am still so so blessed. From the bottom of my heart, thank you <3

[rosesradio]

.

[autisticlee]

sometimes people who struggle like to make jokes or find positives about their condition that causes them to struggle so they can escape the constant negative and struggle. sometimes autistic people will say things like "the 'tism" or use the "autism creature" or say their autism helped them have a *positive trait* to feel better about their struggles. because living your life only focusing on the struggles and negatives is depressing and makes it hard to want to live, even if those struggle take up 100% of your life and you can't actually escape them. sometimes any little seemingly positive thing can help a lot.

but there's so many other autistic people that hate when we do that and call it "reducing autism to a cute trendy thing" and say it takes away from *their* struggles and is bad and shouldn't be used. maybe *you* want to only focus on your struggles, but some people can't live in constant negative and need some positive or to find ways to make their condition more positive so they can feel better about living with their struggles. life is hard. I take anything I can get.

I cant get jobs. I can't make and keep friends. I can't get help and support for doing "normal" things so sometimes I go weeks without being able to shower and without eating more than a bowl of cereal a day. most times can't even do things I like. struggle to communicate. have meltdowns. i'll never be able to live independently. I struggle a lot. but instead of sitting here always depressed and having no motivation to live, i'd rather try to joke about "my 'tism is acting up again" when i'm struggling (just an example. don't think I ever actually used the 'tism thing but i saw others use it) or say "i'm just being a creature" when I need to stay in my dark room because everything is too much and I personally find it cute to be a little creature meant in a positive way. i'm not actually downplaying mine or anyone else's struggles. I still acknowledge them and that silly jokes dont make them go away. i'm not trying to be trendy. i'm not doing any of the things people say we do by making silly little jokes. i'm using the silly little jokes to convince myself life can be a little more than pointless, painful garbage all the time.

(continue in tags)

[aria0fgold]

FINALLY DONE WITH THE ISAT OC! SOLEIL!!!

The creature... So first things first is some info about them pre- disappearance of The Country. They're a loyal follower and avid worshipper of The Country. They love the Universe sooo much that they made a wish to be able to read the stars, and the Universe answered. I like to think that the stars are talkative, some can predict what will happen in the near future, some are just "chatting" to each other about the stuff happening in the world they overlook. It's a somewhat useful ability that Soleil used to use to be able to either predict someone's future (rarely though, the stars hold many different futures and it's hard to figure out which is whose) or use it during funeral rites to have a more reassuring experience to the ones mourning that their loved one arrived safely among the stars.

And then they found out about The Cursing of Chateau Castle-- they kiiiinda got Really obsessed with the book series that they wanted to know more about it but there wasn't any more copies of it in the Country's language so what better way to deal with that but teaching itself how to understand the Vaugardian language, and by doing that they got to learn more about the Vaugardian culture and was really amazed by it (considering that they spent most of their life with the Country's culture instead, learning about a different culture is a great feeling). One thing led to the other and it also led Soleil to travelling to Vaugarde (something that their family wasn't all that happy with but they stay silly).

And so we're back at the present time! Now to talk about some details on its appearance.

Its Craft type is Scissors! The eye on the center of its chest and the eye by its nape are in fact EYES and not just accessories (although they did try to make the eye on its chest appear to be like a mix between a star shape and the Change Symbol).

After spending some time in Vaugarde, they learned about Body Craft in which case they decided to experiment with it in regards to its eyes.

Since being in Vaugarde, there wasn't much use to its star sight and there also isn't a way to "turn it off." So instead, they decided to separate its Normal sight from the Star sight by adding another pair of eyes on its body.

The eyes on its face are blind. They can't see through it anymore but they Can still see the stars (they can't read it anymore however cuz of the Country's disappearance).

If they focus on the stars using those eyes, they'd get a REALLY bad headache and a star sign appears on its eyes. Nothing to be afraid of probably, its head just Really hurts.

The glass covering the eye on its nape is a one way mirror. You won't be able to see the eye but the eye can still see you.

With its vision split, it actually took them awhile to get used to that. It takes a lot of concentration and focus to see both from behind and from the front. When Soleil gets tired from doing that, they either close the eye on its nape (if the place is safe enough) or unfocus it enough to the point that most of its vision becomes blurry with only being able to see blobs of shapes and shadows which helps them be alert enough in case something comes running at them from behind.

All the round objects you see on its body are Bombs. They found out about Bomb Craft in Jouvente and was so fascinated by it that their inventor brain (inventing, crafting, and repairing stuff is a special interest of theirs). They now like making bombs and inventing new ones (only they have the recipe of those).

The bombs they invented only detonates via a Craft spell, it's basically as safe as an ordinary ball to handle unless detonated. Also the scissors at the top of their head has a cover on its tip. It's Very Sharp. They mainly use that (either the tip or the scissor blades itself) to cut the bombs dangling on its body.

Despite the multitude of bombs they carry, they aren't actually much of a fighter (they just like bombs). Most of its Craft spells are basic/beginner level. The one and only Powerful Craft spell they have is a shield/defense spell that they practiced several times. It's capable of negating all damage for 2 turns with a 5 turn cooldown, they wanted to master that spell to make it so that bombs won't hurt them no matter the close proximity.

Its hand signs are "broken." They used to mimic the hand signs that the Universe (I'm mainly referring to my design of the Universe) makes. But after forgetting about everything in regards to it, they can't remember what hand signs they used to make but the familiar feeling was still there.

A huge fan of The Cursing of Chateau Castle, to the point of practically making it part of its identity now that a HUGE chunk of its memory is missing. Its outfit is a modified version of what they think Lady Irene-Janine-Karine wears.

Its personality is a mixture of Lord Josephandre, Pierre-Jacques-Erneste, and Lady Irene-Janine-Karine (aka the Chateau Trio!!! Love those three...).

Its name, "Soleil" is just something they found in a book and decided to use for itself. They don't remember its name anymore.

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(guy who never finishes her 80% done vocal synth projects voice) i need to practice with asterian 2... do my dearest asterheads have any hashtag song suggestions

[tokiwarcube]

i am normal about Fucking That Middle Aged Man