#still am sometimes tbh
Explore tagged Tumblr posts
Text
truly my last relationship taught me so much. it also instilled in me some things i’m still unlearning. like, how most people won’t get mad if you accidentally fall asleep without saying goodnight (and not replying to messages, because i’m literally asleep), or freak out if you stop replying for like five minutes. like, i couldn’t do anything i enjoyed bc she’d be like ‘um, what fuck are you doing? why aren’t you answering me?!!!’ like relax, i’m literally just showering. it was truly a case of sitting still unless i wanted to upset her. and then i STILL somehow upset her and i never really knew why. but, hey, that relationship ended a long time ago, i should be fine now, right? 😐
#it’s literally been like five years and i still wake up sometimes like ‘oh god i didn’t say goodnight! oh god i didn’t reply back to that#person’s message!’ when said person doesn’t care one bit#it’s just cause that relationship was so crazy that it made ME crazy and i’m beginning to realise that yeah i still carry some shit from it#literally that relationship is the entire reason i’ve been single all this time and why i’m trying to be emotionally mature etc#bc that relationship ending gave me a smack around the head that said something needs to change’#bc the way i was before is the reason i was in that relationship and in that situation in the first place#and that relationship ending and trauma and shit separate from that made me get really romance repulsed for a while#still am sometimes tbh#pretty much permanently in a state of ‘yeah i need look after myself’ for the last five years#and idk when that would open up to me being in a new relationship#idk i really just need to not rush anything with anyone and just take things slow and see where they go#have fun in the meantime#bc my past few relationships have been really intense#especially the last one as i said#and i fully don’t have the time or energy for anything hardcore currently#so if there’s anyone at some point they must be prepared to wait for em and court me like we’re victorian lovers#you must wait three years untill we kiss for the first time bc i truly don’t know the timeframe for when i’d wanna do anything i’ll be#honest imaooooo#but yeah romance is a complicated subject for me#i’m literally a hopeless romantic but the thought of romance lately truly just makes me feel gross#like in theory yeah i wanna kiss someone but in actual practice i’m like get away from me!#idk i’m on the road to bulilding healthy relationships#romantic especially bc i really can’t go back to how i used to be#sorry to disappoint anyone imaoooo#but nah anyways people who want to get close to me and be my friend has to be cool with my boundaries i set up#and sometimes forget about even tho they’re my own boundaries bc i’m silly like that#could do casual stuff but i really don’t think i’m the type for that imao#and even that sets off the same alarms in my head so idk 🤷🏻♀️#gwen rambles#gwenposting
4 notes
·
View notes
Text
Mild rant from me about Hans Zimmer's involvement in Dragon Age:
I just think it's such sellout behavior to hire expensive movie composers (Zimmer is also known to be a transphobic asshole lol) known for their blockbuster soundtracks for your game when you already had the most iconic soundtrack ever for the previous installment, except the composer was lesser known.
Most people hear the swell of violins and immediately think it must be the best soundtrack ever, but if I am really honest, the DATV soundtrack so far sounds like the most generic slopfest with the laziest leitmotif I had the misfortune to hear in a long while.
Hiring people for their name alone is something I find incredibly shameful. Like I cannot even put into words how nasty it is in my eyes, because it actively takes away from lesser known creatives in the industry who could have made a name for themselves. And it doesn't matter to me if Zimmer only did the Main Theme or whatever, because in that case, it shouldn't be his name that is plastered everywhere but Balfe's! But everyone is talking about Zimmer anyway for exactly the reasons I already mentioned.
Even just the thought of how expensive this endeavor must have been... That money could have gone to other, more important places, easily. It makes the layoffs also that much more bitter in my eyes. Idk. I adore Dragon Age and I am still a huge fan and I will play it, but stuff like that make me angry. I don't need some Zimmer who has been sitting his ass on his laurels from 10 years ago in my franchise. I'd rather have a no name person, or Trevor Morris, to get a chance again.
#dragon age critical#dragon age the veilguard#datv#hans zimmer#i talk sometimes#idk if i am so sensitive because i almost studied music myself after playing piano my entire youth but this topic makes me so tilted lmfao#i still am very much a big fan of DA this game has literally saved me but man#we dont need these old rich men with their well known names in there tbh. like we should be over it imo#this goes hand in hand with my hatred towards blockbuster hollywood actors getting voice acting jobs btw#this aint your genre please go away
816 notes
·
View notes
Text
Bruce Springsteen ↳ I'm on Fire (Paris, 1985)
[ID: Two black and white gifs of Bruce Springsteen from the side as he sings "Sometimes it's like someone took a knife, baby, edgy and dull / And cut a six-inch valley through the middle of my skull". /end ID.]
#bruce springsteen#brucespringsteenedit#im on fire tag#my old springsteen gifs keep popping up in my notes and i am so glad everyone is still enjoying them#but i think theyre so ugly and do not do the man justice 😭😭😭#so here are some new ones <3#tbh sometimes i forget the major springsteen moment i had like . just last year .... but he never really leaves you huh
4K notes
·
View notes
Text
Sweet Dreams (2023) directed by Ena Sendijarević
#sweet dreams 2023#sweet dreams#still a european's film in the end tbh but i had some fun#Ena Sendijarević#dailyworldcinema#women directors#filmedit#filmgifs#cinemaspam#doyouevenfilm#moviegifs#gifs#muhammad khan#is so gorgeous#hayati azis#lisa zweerman#sometimes photoshop would just refuse a green gif. i am scandalized every time
265 notes
·
View notes
Text
bunny butt: shiny edition ✨
[op is a femme dyke, he/ze/bun pronouns]
#ok to rb#everyone thank lilith for these pictures coming into existence 🥰🤭#also: i took these at 8am so the natural light really washed me out but honestly. i still love them#(also i say the light washed me out bc i have giant ass windows in this shitty small apartment so it's like Floodlights that early in the AM#tbh we dont actually need lamps in here until the sun sets. its like the One part i love about this building. i love natural light so much)#(but also yeah the caveat means my phone camera really struggles adjusting to the light sometimes RIP)#(but im still hot as fuck even with that)#(also for piss kink friends: this is my pissfit. i havent actually gotten pissed on in it yet but its so cute anyway &i WILL!!!)#(i have used it to be a menace :3c also this is the outfit that jiggles video was in mutuals btwww)#bunnyflesh#femme dyke#fat femme#fat femme friday#femme4all#femme bait#butch bait#dyke bait#t4t nsft#t4t dyke#also i hate adding my sexuality and pronouns to these but I've been getting misgendered a bit lately a few different ways so. worth a try ig
79 notes
·
View notes
Text
Bow problems (+ other nonsense)
#saroart#dead cells#the beheaded#the collector#they just wanted a nice bow#the collector can do a lot of stuff but i don't think he's good at bows#i was drawing a lot of antagonistic beheaded/collector content so i wanted to do some more cute junk#okay a lot is an exaggeration. still#need some guys being buds content sometimes#weird monster guys doing domestic shit is my favorite genre#i got a bonus at holiday time and im tempted to buy a tablet i can use portably#esp because holy fuck i don't know how to draw anymore#but also i just spent stupid money on tickets to live podcasts so i probably shouldn't#unrelated im very upset today because fucking UPS didn't ring my goddamn doorbell and so “”missed me“” and couldnt deliver my specialty meds#why must i get my meds through ups#because the us is a hellscape and i am beholden to my health insurance company#ups who has literally never managed to get a package to this apartment#tbh im stressed as fuck about having to go through this every goddamn month
171 notes
·
View notes
Text
you guys ever grab your f/o’s face and just *forehead kiss* *forehead kiss* *forehead kiss* *forehea
#this was originally phrased for platonic f/os but i then proceeded to think about doing this with my boyfriends and. yeah#anyway#HEY i finally picked back up gx because i got bored lol#and because. lowkey. judai randomly popping up in my dreams spooked me enough to remember to continue watching it >_<#i am reminded of why he got instantly put on the platonic list despite me barely knowing him lol#literally just. golden retriever#which is so so funny when you look at my two other platonic f/os#like on one hand we have the serious and more mature beyond my years#and then we have the high energy positivity fiends#if i still listed my hs f/os on my list you would see more obviously what i mean lol#sometimes you just want to smother your friend in a dumb display of affection u_u#anyway.#hello#tbh… kissing melv (and technically yb) right where the eye of wedjat would go… <333#self ship#selfship#selfshipping#self shipping#f/o imagines#imagine your f/o#romantic f/o#platonic f/o#self ship community#selfshipping community#platonic: judai#quartzshipping#rainy.file
790 notes
·
View notes
Note
You've established that Odile has rather unhinged taste in people. Do you have further headcanons on that topic?
Hm... Most of the adjacent headcanons that I could talk about here would require a lot of psychological and cultural context. So let's just talk about that context!
As a child, Odile was disconnected from her peers due to heritage, temperament, and latent transgenderism. As lonely children sometimes do, she decided that she didn't need or want friends anyway, and even if she did, it wouldn't be any of these losers! They were always wasting their time on fun and social useless things that she was too weird smart and special to be invited want to do. She studied very hard and excelled in school, did a couple extracurriculars that didn't require much teamwork, and at some point during adolescence realized that unfortunately the Vaugardians were correct about the changing genders thing.
Ka Buan philosophy encourages people to understand themselves, refine themselves, explore different facets of themselves — but not change themselves, because fundamental characteristics simply cannot be changed. Accordingly, gender-noncomforming fashion and binding/padding and nicknames are fine, hormones and surgery/bodycraft and declaring yourself a different gender are not. But Odile wasn't one to let social mores stop her, so once she reached adulthood, she left her hometown and showed up at the city as Odile. And not just any city, but one with a reputation for cutting-edge craft research and certain countercultures.
You can't just show up and ask around for where the illegal bodycrafting is, though. You have to meet people, win their trust, let them introduce you to other people, repeat. Odile... honestly wasn't that great at it. She hadn't had much cause to practice social skills, so she wasn't very friendly or persuasive! But she was determined, thorough, confident, passionate, genuine in her intentions, and newly hot — and you can get away with a certain amount of blunt arrogance when you're hot. You just have to let people assume you're too cool and busy for humble niceties, which Odile did quite easily, because she's always thought of herself as such. So she found her way through the right queer punk circles eventually and completed her physical transition!
And she liked those circles. The people she met and the topics they discussed and the things they did were all so much more interesting than she had assumed any peers of hers could be! But she still considered herself more competent and correct than anyone else around her, because why would that change just because she moved? Her success in transitioning just further proved that she could do anything if she tried hard enough, that she was right all along in assuming her social failures were due not to lack of skill but last of interest. So she ended up in this dynamic where she was impressed by the people around her and wanted to have fun with them and learn more about them, but also thought herself better than them and above such things as kindness or friendship.
And she was in that "holy shit I'm surrounded by dykes and I'm a dyke now too" stage that some queer people experience after they come out.
So, she wasn't interested in boring. She wasn't interested in nice. She wasn't interested in regular people with regular concerns, like the peers who excluded her in her youth. She wasn't interested in romance or committed relationships or being emotionally vulnerable.
And, she wasn't put off by annoyance, because people annoyed her as a whole anyway. She wasn't put off by danger, because she was sure she could handle anything. She wasn't put off by clashing personalities, because it wasn't like she was planning to go on long walks on the beach with any of her partners anyway.
Thus, she found herself drawn to the most exciting people in the room. Interpersonal drama, emotional outbursts, poorly-thought-out-choices, intense obsession, risky hobbies... it was all oh-so thrilling! Of course, she did realize that the people she was attracted to had major, glaring flaws. But Odile was determined, thorough, confident, passionate, genuine in her intentions, and newly hot. If she couldn't fix them, who could?
We know from Odile's optional sidequest that when she sees something suspicious, she dedicates herself to solving the mystery. We know from her presence at Mirabelle's side that when she sees a problem, she steps in to help, because if you want something done right you do it yourself. The one major exception? The topic that has her backing down, giving up, confessing incompetence?
Emotions.
She has long since learned that she is not actually very good at fixing those.
#odile: i am so much better than all these messy bitches#odile: [the messiest bitch of them all]#sometimes.. trying to fix them..... makes them worse#esp when you're observant and clever but not very experienced with social-emotional skills but not willing to admit your own faults#and also maybe have a biased view of what's even a problem to begin with#tbh tho i think she thinks she was worse than she really was#like people change each other all the time for good or for ill#she's not necessarily uniquely terrible for failing to have the exact effects on people that she was aiming for#plus she remembers the worst moments and assumes that's what she must have always been like#when sometimes she rly did have a net positive effect#and more often she had no lasting effect at all#she still thinks she's so special 🙄#:3#isat#odile#isat odile#in stars and time#thoughts about odile#ask meme answers#thoughts
44 notes
·
View notes
Text
hi.
#i know most of you didn’t even realize i was gone#but man…#my mental health was like in a state of 📉📉📉 in the past 30 days like we love being mentally ill and fucking insane <3#it was mostly bc i panicked and started obsessing over possible water damage in my flat kind of out of nowhere#like it started when my landlord came to check my bathroom bc my downstairs neighbours had water stains on their ceiling back in july#which had been caused by their shower curtain apparently but i was already spiraling when my landlord told me so i was sure it was my fault#i was assuming it was bc of me bc i had sometimes been spilling some of my bathwater and i was like WHAT IF IT HAS GONE THROUGH THE FLOOR?#and it didn't help that it has been hot af and very humid in my apartment LIKE WELL OVER 25 DEGREES AND 60% HUMIDITY#anyways i couldn’t shake this not matter what i tried and my fucking insane brain made me think i was going to get arrested for like#flooding the whole building or for causing some sort of mold infestation#i had SO MANY panic attacks; i wasn't able to sleep; i wasn't able to eat; i was on edge and panicky basically 24/7 so fun fun fun :D#and i kept waking up in the middle of the night and HAD to go check my walls or the space below my kitchen#it was compulsory like i couldn't not get up and go check and tbh i would've thrown out all of my furniture if i could've to check for mold#(and shhhh i know how fucking insane this sounds but having a mentally ill brain that's anxious all the time does suck ass sometimes 🥲)#(the worst thing about it tho was that i was SO AWARE of how insane about this i was being and yet i couldn't stop losing my mind over it)#(also i was so ready to move tf outta here bc i couldn't handle being triggered 24/7 which is why my mom let me stay with her last week )#i was so out of it that i couldn't even let myself do the things i usually enjoy... like at all#like watching my shows or spending any ungodly amount of time on tumblr... or replying to messages i got from people who i love#ig this goes to show HOW bad this actually was for me mentally bc usually tumblr and my shows are like my safe place#anyways we finally had a leak detection dude come over today and we had him check the water levels in my walls#and he said everything is fine and he specifically told me i should stop worrying about any water damage BC THERE IS NO WATER DAMAGE#he also said that the weather has just been insanely humid this year so it's not surprising that the humidity levels are higher than usual#i’m still a bit scared about some possible mold but ig this is good enough for now#i am aware how ridiculous this must sound for anyone who's reading this now but couldn't let it go not even with meds so let me live pls :(#TLDR I WAS GOING THROUGH IT BUT I AM BACK I THINK AND I AM MOST LIKELY GOING TO START BOTHERING YOU WITH MY GIFS AGAIN <3#AND I JUST REALIZED I HAVEN'T EVEN SEEN ANY OF THE HEART KILLERS STUFF YET ASIDE FROM ONE OR TWO PICS LIKE :(#OH AND I NEED TO START WATCHING SUMMER NIGHT ;_;#sabrina talks#@AIRENYAH GIRL I AM SO SORRY I WILL PROBABLY REPLY TO YOUR MESSAGES LATER TODAY OR TOMORROW MORNING ;_;<3
64 notes
·
View notes
Text
FINALLY!! At long last, I've gotten my hands on a Pumpkin Kitty, after a whole year of wanting and waiting.
Her name is Latte! (Short for Miss Pumpkin Spice Latte) You can also call her Miss Spice!
#I spent 10 minutes picking her out omfg#not even exaggerating. I was deciding between this one and one of the last 3 unstuffed PKs#altogether there was only 5 of them left in the store including the 2 stuffed displays#the other one I was looking at had a nearly perfect pumpkin eye patch but less pumpkins overall#and their face wasn't as nice plus the ears were a bit wonky for my taste.#tho it was really hard to tell which would be better while they were unstuffed and flat#in the end I chose Latte because right away she looked to have a sweet face. her ears were nice and she had better patch placement#including a couple full patches on her tail#tbh if I'd had the money I might have bought both because the decision was hard#the bear builder actually asked if I was alright while I concentrated on studying each of those damn cats#I apologized and explained wtf was up with me. she was very understanding#I've always had this quirk where sometimes it'll take forever for me to pick between plushies I really want#especially if they're both the same exact plush. because then I gitta focus harder on finding out which has the better personality#you get what I mean?#anyways this has been a thing for me even as a real little kid#I remember spending and hour-hour and a half almost every time when my dad took me to choose my monthly webkinz#“my monthly webkinz” god that makes me sound so privileged. it was the nicest/best thing my dad could afford to get me because we were poor#he wanted to spoil me as all good fathers do but that was the most he could afford and I was always so grateful and still am! but I digress#anyways I took way too long to pick which kitty would become my Latte#but I'm glad I had the opportunity to choose yet alone to actually see pumpkin kitty irl available for purchase#what do you guys think of her?#stuffed animals#plushies#plushblr#build a bear#BAB#pumpkin kitty
44 notes
·
View notes
Text
Women, so pretty, so shaped, i am so lesbian,,,
#im also incredibly dysphoric tonight#but i was told by my coworker im incredibly feminine by her earlier#and i mean yeah#.....#i am a tall weird internet woman who likes to draw#so funny how i thought i was bi#I'm just really into women...#my ex is a trans guy and he told me he thinks im lesbian and i had a “holy fuck this explains so much moment”#we broke up but we still have a weird queer relationship outside of social heteronormative norms that is hard to explain and only we#can really understand#im not into men because you know#im a lesbian#had a weird period in my life when i was dating a guy and said im a lesbian and i felt sooooo scared#turns out when youre on meds and your brain is working right you just stop caring about such things#i went on a parade wearing big lesbian flag and girls loved it :)#i dont really know if i ever want to date anyone again#but i think if you look at my art you can really tell my sexuality quite easily lolol#funny how love can be so complicated sometimes#i mean it was kind of inevitable we break up cause we're kind of incompatible but tbh#it was better for us#hehe
214 notes
·
View notes
Text
i often really do feel like an .. unwanted part of the fandom, i dont draw beautiful landscapes, i have unpopular but strong opinions im constantly annoying about and rarely change, dont like/dont draw the pretty young popular twinks and hot gurls to fanboi over nor do i turn characters into one, the opposite moreso, draw only one ship no ones heard of really, got little energy to interact with the few people that are nice to me and send me asks so it probably looks like im ignoring everyone and unfortunately but still rarely get so stressed i get overwhelmed and emotional about pehaps seemingly minor things and spiral almost into a breakdown feeling super embarrassed about it afterwards but the damage is already done and i look like a freak or agressive weirdo
#ganondoodles talks#also probably sounds like self pity#but this feeling hits everytime i see a super popular artist be the popular cool artist#i am a little weird i know that and thats not somethign bad i think#but the internet never gets to see that much of me#i tend to write posts when i am at my worst bc it has to go somewhere#so the image it tells people is that im a weirdly strong opiniod freak that gets breakdowns over nothing#i also dont feel like im otherwise -cool tm- enough to balance that out#i dont think my art is as stylized or as inventive as others nor am i cool to interact with bc idk how to be cool to interact with#i feel double bad when i misstepped with someone i used to talk to bc of something stupid ... or just dont know what i did wrong#im guessing its especially when i am in that spiraling state of mind where i really am not myself tbh#it still feels very bad bc i feel like i can never make it up to anyone again#sorry i acted like a jerk my brain was exploding in emotions in a desperate attempt to deal with something idk how to deal with-#-and made me not act like myself but now i feel really dumb about it#doesnt sound like a good excuse#... i want to thank those that do stick with me#even if i acted strange sometimes- even if i disappointed sometimes- even when i couldnt keep a promise#there are little things that still make me angry at myself#like that one time i asked in the tags whod read as long as the end of them and if someone did shoudl send me an ask so id draw a lil thing#and i got two#and i kept trying to remeber oh shit i need to do that and forgetting again/not having energy for it in a loop#i still feel like a jerk about it but now its probably too late#i wish i could answer all asks i get but man my energy for that is always rock bottom#no matter how much i enjoy the ask#and i love getting asks!!!#im sorry :((
248 notes
·
View notes
Text
Hi! Thinking of sending some more of the German issues art if anyone is interested
I only really like issue 7 tbh but some of this could be funny soooo
Issue 7
Issue 9
Issue 10
Issue 11
#animaniacs#pinky and the brain#patb#patb comics#comic#I'm sad that the art peaked with issue 5 cleo brain tbh#I do like issue 7 British one with slight homo romantic intentions tho it's kinda nice#also I kinda forgot to upload this so patb fans can have a treat with some of the art found in the German comics#I am thinking of getting more since I didn't collect all of them#I'm still missing many#so let's look forward to that!#I really need to scan these sometime soon#need to post more patb stuff it has been too long#hyperfix has faded away a little I worry to say
18 notes
·
View notes
Text
I think my least important Star Trek pet peeve is that Leonard Nimoy's Spock doesn't have a bowl cut. That's not a bowl cut.
A bowl cut is what the one guy from Naruto with the weights had. It's what my cousins had ages 4 to 11. Spock's hair is not a bowl cut.
It's too shaped for a bowl cut. I think the fact that it's so smooth and flat is what throws people, because it is very smooth and flat. It's even worse in the new star treks, those men look like they're wearing plastic. Like, lego hairpieces. But it's still not a bowl cut.
#I acknowledge that this literally doesn't matter even a little bit#but it bugs meeeee#actually the most annoying thing is in fics when kirk comments on spock's 'ugly bowl cut' and how he's hot 'in spite of it'#no! kirk should LOVE spock's silly hair!! he should delight in it and also ruffle it up sometimes! but still love it!#star trek#star trek tos#tos#spock#star trek spock#not really commenting on later Spocks because tbh i am not as familiar with them.#i think at least the spock in disco with a beard might have a bowl cut. but i haven't watched it yet
27 notes
·
View notes
Text
Astra inclinant sed non obligant ("The stars incline, but not to bind us.")
Literally quite Not Normal after finishing @petrachord 's tragic fic of these two
#tragedy when everything is Understandable But It Does Not Have To Be That Way TBH = GOOD FUCKING SHIT#one of those is based of a moment in chapter 12 of astra inclinant by petracore#Donquixote Brothers#Donquixote Doflamingo#Donquixote Rosinante#Corazon#One Piece#OP#something something sometimes a monster is still a monster even when you love him. even when he loves you back as well something#'yes doffy kills people and burns towns but he's my brother and i am somehow his duty still' - rosi for the 4987356th time
92 notes
·
View notes
Text
I just have a lot of feelings about the Builder
#idk i used to be a massive people pleaser when i was a kid and ig i still kind of am so i project on her sometimes#getting that aspect of yourself used to hurt somebody you care about can mess you up big time#in ither news sorry im doing so many sketches#im too tired to render most of the time now sadly#dqb2#sketches#doodles#dragon quest builders 2#fbuilder#crea#implied builderoth once more#i know i can view them as both platonic and romantic but my mind slingshots between both#impeccable chemistry tbh despite the builder being mostly mute
21 notes
·
View notes