#steve then proceed to cry on tonys shoulder

[fancyhandsbakery]

I think a core memory of mine was when I was 13 and reading a Marvel fic. The tags and the description had me thinking, 'Tony looks at Steve's sketch book and realizes Steve is gay.' Great premise, right. Wrong. That is not what happened because the drawing was of a little girl, and Steve was a pedophile.

[imawreck]

Loop

Pairing: Bucky Barnes/Winter Soldier x Original Character

Summary: Max is pushed to the brink of survival in order to break her spirit. Giles proceeds with his plans for her as the main weapon for New Hydra.

Warnings: gore, death, mental torture, starvation and physical abuse, cursing, lots of bad stuff so read with caution!

Author’s Note: Well, if you read the last chapter, you know it’s gonna be terrible awful. Buckle up and grab the tissues home-slices, you’re in for a rollercoaster ride.

Word count: 4,203

Max-

I woke with a start, hands thrashing about and getting caught in sheets. I stumbled off the edge of a bed, mind wild as I took in my surroundings.

Sheets, a bed, no cell in sight.

Confusion crept into my mind as I recalled where I had been mere minutes ago. I swore I had been in a cell, trapped within Hydra's compound just minutes ago...

But everything seemed so real. The coolness of the tile beneath my bare feet, the scent of laundry detergent clinging to the bedsheets that spilled out onto the floor next to me, even the heartbeat down the hall—

A heartbeat down the hall.

I scrambled up from the tiles, bolting for the door and shoving it open. Blinding white light met my eyes, stealing my vision for a moment as I blinked it away in a hurry. Someone stood at the end of the hall, wide eyed and looking nearly as confused as I felt.

"Max?" His voice was like heaven upon my ears, and I felt my eyes sting as I took in his lovely face.

Those same steely blue eyes held me captive with their worried gaze. A T-shirt and jeans graced his body, and his white socks stuck out against the dark floors. He kept walking towards me as I fought to find words, to speak to him.

"Doll, what's wrong? You're scarin' me."

Doll. That single word was my undoing. I ran to him, wrapping my arms around his waist and clinging to him with a sob, "Bucky." His heart thundered in my ear as his arms wrapped themselves around me.

His voice rumbled, "Hey, what's going on? Do-gk."

Glass shattered behind me, tearing my attention to the windows of the small living room. One of the windows were broken, and the red laser of a sniper flickered off from the building next to the Tower.

I tore my eyes from the window as one of Bucky's hands left my hip. I felt something warm drip onto my face, taking my attention back towards Bucky only to be blinded by whatever it was dripping onto my face. I swiped at it with the back of my hand, blinking it away and bringing my hands down to look at them.

They were red. Red as blood.

Bucky stumbled to the side, slamming to his knees on the tiles and clutching at his neck. His breathing was garbled and wet, all the wrong sounds. I collapsed next to him, grasping at his shirt, his shoulders, anything I could get purchase on as he fell to the floor. His blue eyes were wild and scared, searching mine for answers.

"Bucky, no, no, no!" A sob wracked through me, "Tony! STEVE! Somebody, anybody!" I pulled him into my arms, pressing my hand against his own to stifle the bleeding. "Help me!"

Nobody came, no one was coming. There was only the dulling sound of his heartbeat and the splatter of blood on the tiles that met my ears. We were alone, and there was nothing I could do to stop this.

It couldn't be real, surely it wasn't real.

But it felt real. The heat of his skin, the pain in his eyes—

Bucky didn't blink. He... He wasn't blinking, wasn't breathing. A strangled cry left me as I pressed my hand harder to his still bleeding neck, tried and failed to call out to him through my tears. He wasn't waking up.

I slumped to the floor beside him, feeling my heart shatter at the sight of his lifeless eyes. My forehead dropped to his chest as I gasped for air and gripped at his shirt. It felt like I sat there for hours over his fallen body. No one ever came.

I felt something shift, felt my mind wane, and suddenly his body was gone. I straightened up, tears still pooling in my eyes and the tiles steady under my feet. The lights still shone brightly, and when I turned around the window that had been broken was miraculously repaired. I sniffled, swiping my arm across my face. The blood that had coated my hands was gone, as was the puddle on the floor.

Moments later, the elevator tolled and out he strode again as healthy and whole as he had been before. I balked at him, but he just frowned and shot me a confused little smile.

"What're you lookin' at me like that for?" His hands were in his jean pockets and the metal glint of his arm was on full display in that T-shirt like it was before.

I hesitated, eyes flittering over to the window before I pushed up from the floor and tugged him into my room. I clicked the door shut, sliding the deadbolt into place behind me before whirling around to face him. His body stood stalk still, eyes wide as they took me in.

I blinked at him, looking down at myself too. I felt the change, the leather against my skin. The cold metal of a knife clutched in my fingers. The mask pressed against my face and dimmed my vision as I peered at him through the eyes of it. Bucky backed away with his arms held up as if he were trying to get an animal to calm.

I wanted to tell him I wasn't going to hurt him, that I didn't understand what was happening, but my mouth wouldn't move. The knife in my hand caught the light as I swung it, watching it sail through the air and plant itself in the wall beside his head. Bucky had moved just in time to avoid it, but he couldn't move in enough time to avoid the second that planted itself in his thigh.

I wanted to scream, to stop my body from its assault on him. It was like I was trapped in my own body watching as someone else called the shots. Perhaps that was how he felt once. I wondered if he would understand when I succeeded, if he would forgive me.

I drowned out the noise of his screaming with the pounding of my heart. I didn't want to listen. The third and final blade found its home in his heart, my traitorous hand twisting it swiftly to the side until his body stopped moving. Till his hands stopped gripping my arms.

I sat there on the floor with his body, staring at his empty eyes, until the door creaked open again.

"Doll?"

_____

Tony-

I've had my fair share of all-nighters. In fact, nearly every night was an all-nighter for me. I had lots of things to do and such a short amount of time to do them. But now that Max was gone, my nights had begun melding together into one continuous 72-hour day with the occasional nap here and there.

Pepper, bless her, had dragged my half-awake body away from my main computer and scolded me for not sleeping properly. She reminded me I can't get any work done without rest, not anything helpful anyways. So, I had slept restlessly most nights since then. I tried and failed to shut off my brain. I was too worried about missing something, any little detail to tell us where we might find her.

It was a real surprise when Friday notified me that there had been a major power surge smack dab in the center of Germany, the motherland itself.

I had been on my way to retrieve a second refill of coffee when she had told me as much. I fumbled my mug, completely forgetting it on the counter and taking the quickest route to my labs. I had her pull up the data, map it out for me to examine, then called in Vision who had returned recently from his mission.

He had taken into account what had happened and deduced that it was in fact the scepter that had released that kind of surge. As I feared, they had gotten their hands on it. I thanked him, sending him away before I called in Steve.

"They have the scepter, and they're using it for something." I watched him carefully, "I haven't had the opportunity to contact Thor and ask him exactly what this thing does, but I doubt it's good."

Steve nodded, "Why would they use it if they knew that it would tell us where they were? It just doesn't make any sense." He pressed his palm against his forehead as he stared at the blip on the display. "Does he know?"

I pursed my lips, shaking my head. "No, I've only told you and Vision. I wasn't sure how he would react since he's been acting... removed."

In all honestly, I was afraid Bucky would pack up and go directly there without our knowledge. There would be no stopping him if he wanted to. I don't even think Steve could stop him at this point. It had been five weeks since Max had gone missing, and in that time, Bucky had dedicated every minute of free time in the training room. Everyone could tell that her kidnapping had taken a tremendous toll on his mental health. I felt like telling him something so important would be the tipping point that sent him into action.

Steve sighed, pressing his hands against the countertop. "He deserves to know. We just have to deliver the news gently. The team needs to be informed and updated, any edge we can get on them is crucial." He pushed off from the counter and folded his arms across his chest. "What are we going to do?"

The billion-dollar question. "I say we storm it. Sweep in with the jet, scope it out, and take it out like every other mission. It could be a mistake on their part. It could also be a trap." I frowned, "But Max is over there going through hell and there's a limited window of time for us to use this before it's too late."

Steve nodded, "We have to be careful. We're going to need every surprise we have."

"Friday?" I swallowed the lump in my throat.

"Yes boss?"

"Call the team in."

_____

Max-

I had lost all sense of time.

Reality was but a dream, a nightmare, I was unsure I would wake from. Every flutter of my eyelids took me in and out of different pains. My mind was muddled and tired, unable to discern the difference between the hellish plains of my imagination and the solid world that yanked me from it. Even then, the world I returned to was violent and agonizing.

There were flickers between my pain where there was just stillness. I could hear my breathing in my ears, feel something cold against my chest cooling me through the thin hospital gown I knew still hung from my shoulders. Someone smiled, a man I couldn't recognize through the haze, but the image made my blood chill and my body involuntarily recoil.

But the pain was a constant squeezing, burning thing that consumed me. The type that shattered your mind and separated you from your body. Melted you away until you're nothing more than a shell of what you were before. My heart was bleeding, I could feel it in my chest. It was hollow and broken.

I had watched Bucky die so many times. Tried and tried and tried to stop it. I never could. It felt so real every time he smiled at me, wrapped me in his warmth and littered kisses on my skin. But then he was bleeding or screaming in an instant. Every time was different. I never knew how to stop it, and no one came to help. I could feel his blood slip between my fingers, warm and wet as it slicked the floor beneath me. I watched each time as his heart stopped and the life drained from his eyes.

I no longer knew where I was or when I was, who I was when I blinked once more, and Bucky's fallen body disappeared like it always seemed to do. Everything was cold and dull, the metal that chilled my cheek where I laid sprawled out in the cramped cell. I was gasping for breath, my throat raw from screaming. I no longer had a voice.

"Hello again." My eyes tried their best to focus on the man crouched in front of the cell, the dull blue glow from the scepter he clutched in his hand made me flinch. "What did you experience?"

I couldn't tell him even if I wanted to. The images of what I had witnessed made my throat go dry and my heart spasm in fear. I clutched at the fabric over my heart to try and calm it, but it was useless. The man didn't seem satisfied by that. Why couldn't I remember his name?

He stood slowly, eyes watching me as I flinched at his movements. "It must have been terrifying to break such a strong weapon. Look at what it has made you into. Groveling, pathetic little bird." He kept smiling as he said it. "Do you even know what day it is? Where you are?"

I didn't. Not anymore.

My silence must have been answer enough. "Do you remember why you're here?"

Slowly, images flashed in my mind, and I spoke as it came to me. "I got away." My voice was like grinding stones. "You nearly killed me to get me back." I could feel my head clear a bit.

The man, Giles—Yes, his name was Giles, Roman Giles—stepped away from the cell and set the scepter in a black case a few steps away. "Your Soldier will be coming for you. They will have detected such strong power by now."

Bucky, he was talking about Bucky. My voice wrenched from my throat before I could stop it. If he was alive- "Don't hurt him. Please, I'll do anything, just don't hurt him. I can't watch it again."

I knew I had said the wrong thing the moment he spun around, and that wretched smile had doubled in size. "Can't watch it again? Is that what it showed you? Is that what you fear most in this world? How touching, truly."

One of his hands sunk into the pocket of his lab coat and retrieved a small black device. I watched his thumb flick a button against the side before he crouched before me once more. I didn't even possess the energy to move away from him. "Tell me what you'll do to keep us from getting him."

I could feel a sob gathering in my chest as my eyes burned at the memories sweeping in some torturous slideshow behind them. "I'll do anything, just don't hurt him. I'll kill if that's what you want. I'll become whatever you want me to be, just don't touch him. Leave him alone." That traitorous sob forced itself through my teeth, cleaving the silence. "I can't watch him die again, not anymore. I- I can't."

Giles lifted the little box up to his face. "Did you hear that, Sargent Barnes? Isn't she sweet? Sacrificing herself to save you." He laughed, the sound enough to have me shoving back against the cage. "The next time you see her she will be but a husk of the woman you knew. Chow!" His thumb switched off the box and he pocketed it back into his coat.

The door was swung open, the scrape of metal against the floor sent a sharp pain through my head. "The rest of the base has been loaded up sir. We are ready to move the Asset."

I locked eyes with him, doing my best to pull a vicious curl onto my lips. Giles nodded to him, "Then move it. We don't have a lot of time before they pick up on the scepter if they haven't already. Time is of the essence." With that, he slipped out the door and four men replaced him.

All of which held those awful tranq guns.

_____

Bucky-

When Tony called a meeting in the middle of the night, I knew we had to have gotten some sort of intel on Max. I was terrified to have hope, but I could feel it blooming in my chest despite my efforts to stop it. The cool metal of the chair I had claimed at the table seeped into every part of me, chilling my very bones. The team trickled in slowly, too slowly for my liking, but it was in the mere early hours of the morning, and they all had more than likely been sleeping. The only person who looked remotely awake was Tony. Even Steve looked haggard.

"Thank you for coming," Tony started, "I have some news on Max."

That got everyone in the room sitting up.

With a long breath, Tony continued. "There was a large scale burst of power located in the middle of Germany. I consulted with Vision and Cap, and we've come to the conclusion that the only thing that could release that magnitude of power that we know of, is the scepter."

Wanda flinched at the mention of it, drawing my attention. Vision placed a comforting hand on her shoulder and my heart stung a little. Max had done the same for me many times before.

From beside me, Steve began explaining. "We will be mobilizing as soon as possible. There is a limited window of opportunity, and we all know that Giles is intelligent. He will know that we pick up on the surge and he's moving Max if he's as smart as we think. We need all of you on top of it, no mistakes." There was a beat of silence as we all took in his words before he spoke again, "We will discuss the details on the jet, suit up."

I was out of my chair as soon as he finished, marching to the elevator and taking it down to the landing bay where I began to yank on my uniform. I wasn't moving fast enough, nothing was. We had an opportunity to get Max back, and it was shrinking with every second it took for the team and myself to get around. I was the first in the jet, turning on the switches and taking the pilot seat.

Every nerve in my body was itching to take off, leave the rest of them behind and go after her myself. I would be faster, quieter, more effective without them.

But as Steve stepped onto the jet and clamped a hand on my shoulder like he always did when he knew something was bothering me, I knew I couldn't. Perhaps losing Max effected the team more than they let on, I thought, as they all hustled into the hanger minutes after I had. Every single one of them wore a face of determination. They all buckled in and gave me a thumbs up for takeoff. I didn't hesitate, launching the jet from the pad and punching in the coordinates as Tony read them off.

There wasn't much else to do as I set the jet to autopilot and prayed that we would make it in time. I moved to join the rest in the back, taking in their pensive faces as we all moved to seats closer to Tony in order to hear the details of the plan that could possibly save Max.

_____

Max-

I woke up in the dark.

My skin was covered in gooseflesh, and the cold seeped into my very bones. A throbbing headache formed in the forefront of my head, and no amount of blinking or rubbing at my temples got rid of it. Much like before they had knocked me out, my body remained week. Pain shot through every inch of me whenever I braved even the slightest of movements. But I couldn't focus on that now, not if I wanted to have even the slightest opportunity of escape. I still had a sliver of hope, just enough to have me hauling myself into a sitting position.

I curled into myself, wrapping my arms around my knees and tugging them impossibly closer in order to trap any remanence of heat my body possessed. I blinked away the drowsiness still clouding my mind from my unwilling sleep, slowly but surely regaining my senses.

"I read somewhere that due to your lowered body temperature, you move slower in the cold. I found that it was recorded that you have a harder time keeping heat regulating through your body than the normal person when temperatures drop below fifty degrees. You can still withstand colder temperatures more than most, but it severely hinders your skills." My eyes snapped toward his voice, that wickedly egotistical tone he always spoke with grated against my remaining nerves.

Giles remained with his back facing me, away from the cage I still remained trapped in. He wore a turtleneck now, and what looked like a heavy pair of uniform pants along with his white lab coat. He was fiddling with something I couldn't see, but the tilting of his shoulders and his focused air told me it was something that required his full attention.

That didn't stop him from talking to me over his shoulder.

"Don't worry though, you'll be let out soon enough." I turned to me then, a vial of something metallic swirling around clutched in his hand.

I recognized it almost immediately, remembered the way it had burned through my veins and threatened to steal my very mind from me. "Stay the fuck away from me or I'll splatter you up the walls!" I felt the panic welling in my belly, hot and wild and frantic.

Giles merely smiled that awful smile and took a step closer as if to test my threat. "Will you now? Perhaps we haven't broken that spirit as much as I thought we had. Would you like to go for round two? I have a few more bases we can move to before we really have to move things along. The scepter is just in the other chamber, won't be hard for me to get."

He blinked at me like the words that just poured from his mouth were anything but a threat against my life. Like he had just suggested the most normal thing in the world.

I couldn't help the curl of my lip, the flash of my teeth, like some primal instincts were kicking in and there was nothing I could do but force words through a body I wasn't entirely in control of. Fear had taken the front seat. "You're a sick bastard. I'll make every second of your death long and agonizing."

He merely sniffed, flicking the vial and reaching over to the table and picking up a syringe bullet. "I'm sure you will. That's only if you ever get out. Which you won't, by the way. Not in the way you're hoping anyways."

I watched as he clicked the vial into the bullet, securing it in place and reaching over again to the side and picking up a gun. "The only way you're getting out of here is if I want you to. And by then you'll be doing anything I want you to do. Especially if you want me to leave your little soldier boy alone. He's useless to me now that I have you, but that doesn't mean I won't put him down if you refuse to cooperate with me. Do you understand that, little bird?"

I grit my teeth, tightening my hold on my legs. Shivers were wracking my body now, and the room seemed to be continuously dropping in temperature. That, or my body just couldn't keep itself warm enough against the chill. Giles's eyes flickered up to mine as he waited for my reply, one I was very reluctant to give.

I rolled his words around in my head, letting them knock against the walls of my skull as I tried to find something else to say, to dredge up any last remnants of fight left in me. But there wasn't any left.

Not as the memories of watching Bucky die began to spill into my thoughts once again. The feeling of his blood slick on my hands wasn't something I could erase no matter how many times I scratched at my skin. Real or not, whatever that scepter had put me through was enough to snuff out any hope or fire left inside of me. I felt broken at the mere thought of him dying.

So, I nodded, agreed to do what I swore I would never do again.

I would become their monster, their puppet, once more.

I would let them ruin me, tear me apart over and over and over again. Let them muddle my mind if they wanted to. Obliterate every last memory I had, the only things I had for myself alone.

If that kept them from harming him again, if my downfall would promise his survival, then I would die on repeat for the rest of eternity.

Tags <3

@imdoingathingmom / @cjand10 / @greatenthusiasttidalwave / @hzdhrtss / @blackbirdwitch22 / @calwitch

[puppypeter]

Steve comes out of the ice and is pushed straight to fighting again. Yes he has a team around him but nobody really realises how little he has been touched since before he spent decades in the ice. Sure there is hand to hand combat or that brief second his hand touches someone else's when they're handing him something (he might have got a little bit teary eyed when he first went to Janine's diner for a cup of coffee and the old lady had patted him on the shoulder in a comforting gesture) but there's not been hugs or cuddles. 

For his birthday Tony gifts him a spa voucher to pamper himself - with the excuse that he needs someone to look out for his wrinkles considering he's such an old man.

He doesn't really know anything about beauty treatments, it was always soap and water for him growing up, not like he could afford to waste money even on a beauty cream (though he still remembers the lovely smell of a little pot of cream his ma had been gifted once). 

Despite the fact it sounds incredibly relaxing, he doesn't feel comfortable enough to book a full body massage so he opts for a facial cleans with a gentle massage, since the website says it will help with tired looking skin and something about cleansing the pores of the smog of a big city. He feels very out of place when he finally goes, but the receptionist is very polite and if she recognizes him, she does not act like it. He's asked to lay on the massage table face up, while the lights are dimmed and soft instrumental music starts playing in the background. His beauty therapist comes in and introduces himself as Bucky. He seems to be around Steve's age (well not his actual age) and is wearing his hair in a bun, a cute little braid on one side being held back by two colourful hair clips. He talks to him in a soft voice, explaining what the treatment is and what he's going to do step by step. When he finally starts by applying the facial scrub that help the exfoliating process of the skin, Steve takes in a big breath at the brush touching his face. It is on to steaming after that, Bucky's soft voice keeps talking to him, complimenting his skin, saying that there isn't really much to extract what with his super smooth baby skin (and ok maybe he doesn't need a facial thanks to the serum, but the internet did say something about pampering himself when he's feeling the way he's been feeling). Next, they move onto the face mask. It feels very much like jelly, but solidifies and gets removed like a sheet. Bucky applies a serum next, gently caressing his face. He keeps his eyes shut tightly the whole time, biting the inside of his cheeks, trying to contain all that he's feeling in his chest right there now. He just needs to hold on long enough to get back to his apartment in the tower. But Bucky is clearly an asshole because he proceeds with the last part of the treatment which is a face and neck massage. Though he's been touching his face this whole time, it is the gentleness with which he caresses Steve's eyebrows that crack him. He is really trying to hold everything in, but his body is literally shaking and Bucky can feel it in his hands that are now at the back of his neck, trying to massage the tension away. Tears start streaming down the side of his face as he bites his lip trying to contain in everything else. Bucky doesn't seem to be put off, he only asks to let him know if he'd like to stop. When the time is up, Bucky tells him he can lay there a bit longer enjoying the music and the calm, tells him he hopes he enjoyed the treatment and to see him again if he wishes to come back and then leaves the room. Steve wishes to curl up there and cry, but he's aware other people would see him come out a mess so he opts to make a quick exit so he can get home asap and just let it all out while hugging his pillow. The problem is, over the next two weeks, he doesn't seem to be able to stop thinking about Bucky and Bucky's gentle touch and his hands. He knows he was only doing his job but maybe he could go back again? Maybe this time for a massage? But what if he makes a fool of himself again? Sure, Bucky did not seem too bothered by it but still. He just feels a little bit pathetic to pay someone just to have some kind of physical contact (what if Bucky finds out and thinks Steve is creepy? It's not sexual at all for him, but what if that's how it comes across). He realizes it might be too soon still for a massage, so scrolling through the website he decides to book a manicure so that it will hopefully give him a chance to get to know Bucky a little bit since he will be able to talk to him a bit. Bucky smiles really big seeing him again, inviting him to seat on the velvety green chair across from him. Steve thought it would be weird, but Bucky seems great at chit chatting and mentions nothing at all about the last time. He does however point out how good Steve's skin is looking and makes him blush a lot when he admits he has been using the cream that Bucky suggested the last time. They talk about a lot of things, mainly Bucky-centric things because he doesn't want to pressure Steve. About how Bucky got into this line of work. About what he loves about it. How he wants other men to feel comfortable taking care of themselves and their bodies without judgement. He is so good that Steve leaves with a coat of nail polish - although a very very very light pink one. One step at a time. After that it's a pedicure - Bucky had highly recommended it after Steve joked about how much his feet live in combat boots. He had admitted to feeling weird about making his feet look pretty but Bucky had explained that a curative pedicure would help with the overall condition of his feet, looking after his skin, scrubbing and even a feet massage if Steve wasn't too ticklish. So Steve shows up with an iced coffee for Bucky the next time, as the brunette had mentioned how much he liked this indie coffee shop nearby. As they get to the massage part (and no, he is not ticklish) Bucky - now a bit more comfortable in their relationship - calls him out on suddenly looking all pensive. His eyes look tired and he just wants to go home, although there is no one there and he'd been having a nice time talking to Buck up until he started to really touch his skin and massage his ankles, it was fine when he was just twisting and turning his feet and talking about cuticles and soaking his feet once a week and other stuff. "I'm almost done, why don't we go grab a bite and maybe you can tell what's on your mind?" Bucky asks.

And it goes from there. With lots of tears and big feelings that Steve has been holding inside for too long. And he does end up getting a full body massage and crying through the whole thing. But by then there's been lots of hugs from Bucky, and they have smooched plenty too. So when he ends up sobbing face down on the massage table, Bucky can actually gently kiss the back of his neck and murmur sweet things in his ear. About how much he's loved, about how he's never gonna stop touching him. And he does keep his promise. When they go out they always sit side by side. On the bench, at the cinema, in the back of a cab, at the diner. So they can touch at all times, shoulders to feet. And even at the fancy restaurants where they are on opposite sides of the table, Bucky immediately starts playing footsie and holds Steve's hand on the table.

After some months of them dating Steve brings him to the tower for movie night and introduces him to the rest of the team. And they're all very surprised at how touchy feely they are as they'd never seen Steve that way before. Later in the night, when there's only a few people left in the lounge, it comes up in conversation. And everyone had apparently felt that Steve was very - reasonably - uncomfortable with touch, likely due to trauma and they did not want to cross boundaries and make him uncomfortable. There are lots of tears and sincere apologies on both sides and when he looks exhausted from being so vulnerable Bucky takes him to bed. He does his night time ritual of smooching him all over and then proceeds to grab the two colourful hair clips from his hair and pin Steve's hair back so he can apply the serum he had come up with specifically for Steve's skin type (Steve still giggles every time someone compliments his skin and he says 'oh yeah it's the serum' - Bucky's face just -.- but he also loves his dork). The morning after Steve is found in the kitchen figuring out how to make an iced coffee at home (thanks to Jarvis), face still full of pillow lines and messy hair with random colorful clips in them. Bucky wishes he could take a picture but he's too busy smothering him in hugs and kisses.

- the end - 

Also these were my tags but tumblr did not want to let me post with them sooo:

[bumblesimagines]

Green Thumb

Part 18

Request: Yes or No

Also kind of short

~

You stared out at the river, fingers warm from the heat of the mug in your hands. You felt tired, empty, and disappointed. The roof was a nice place to sit and think. Your gaze dropped down to the ground below.

"I don't believe this is the safest way to test your abilities, (Y/N). Especially since Sam doesn't have on his wings." Vision said in concern, watching Sam hype himself up. You shook your head, laughing.

"It's definitely not safe." You grinned, watching Sam. He looked down from his spot on the roof, shaking off nerves.

"Run the idea by me again." Vision said as Wanda chuckled softly.

"Alright, Sam is gonna jump off the roof and I'm gonna use my powers to keep up in the air. If they don't work, Wanda will catch him."

"You're gonna allow this, Wanda?" Vision looked at the redhead. Wanda shrugged, sipping on her tea with a small smile.

"Ready?" Sam called, sliding down his googles. You nodded, backing up a bit, grinning widely. Sam backed up out of sight before running off the roof. You raised your hand, watching him suddenly fly up. He screamed, arms and legs flailing.

"You might gonna to catch him, Vis!" You called as Sam briefly disappeared past a cloud. Vision flew up, catching Sam and flying back to the ground. Sam raised a hand to his chest, feeling his heartbeat as he panted.

"Again?"

"Again."

"Kind of chilly out here, don't you think?" You turned your head, looking at Tony. He took a seat beside you, sighing.

"So, how'd it go?" Tony asked, turning to look at you. You licked your lips, lightly shrugging as you sipped on your hot chocolate.

"Good. I learned a lot about my family. It was confirmed that, uh, I was indeed abandoned by my mother. It's great." You told him, giving a small nod. Tony hummed.

"It builds character." Tony said. You snorted, looking down at the hot chocolate.

"Yeah, I guess so." You muttered.

"What'd you learn?" Tony asked, watching you. You sighed, head tilting up. You stared at the passing clouds.

"That my dad was killed here... By.. The Winter Soldier." You breathed out. Tony stayed silent, frowning as he nodded.

"I.. I can't blame him. He was brainwashed and not in control. How did you react when you found out about Bucky and your parents?" You asked, looking at him. Tony licked his lips, looking away from you. He seemed to think about his words, eyes squinting slightly.

"I.. I was more hurt by Rogers than by what Barnes did. Rogers kept it from me and he never planned on telling me. Even if we didn't consider each other friends.. We were teammates. How was I supposed to be okay with trusting him with my life when he was never gonna tell me about my parents?" Tony frowned, sighing heavily. You bit your bottom lip.

"I'm sorry Steve betrayed you like that." You said softly. You wouldn't want to work with someone who betrayed you either. You took in a small breath, looking at him curiously.

"Do you think Steve knows? About my dad?"

"Unless Barnes saw some similarities between you and your dad, probably not. Your dad covered his tracks. He made sure he wouldn't be connected to his family. Very smart of him." Tony offered a small smile. You reached into your back pocket, taking out a photo. It was of the whole family. Your grandparents, Florine, Michael, and even Gerdie as a pup. You turned it around to the back, looking at the phone number.

'Call when you need me, kid'

"People really need to stop calling me kid." You mumbled, huffing softly. Tony chuckled.

"You look like one."

"Oh, fuck off, old man." You gave Tony a playful glare. He scoffed, touching his chest dramatically.

"Are you really gonna retire? I mean, at this point, you're asking to be called an old man." You pointed out, grinning when Tony rolled his eyes.

"Pepper and Morgan need me. I don't want to be an absent father. I know how it feels to have one and.. I don't want to be like my father. I won't make the same mistakes."

"You'll make new mistakes." You shrugged lightly. Tony shot you a look. "But I'm sure you're a great father!"

"Right." Tony grunted, shaking his head. You chuckled softly, placing your cup beside you. You inhaled softly.

"When I was drunk.. I vividly remembering saying that you suck before passing out. What happened?"

"Oh, you were a goddamn mess. Definitely an emotional drunk." Tony replied, making you groan softly, cheeks flushing from embarrassment.

"You said I was a lucky bastard and you cried.. You also kissed me." Tony looked at you, gaze searching for a reaction. Your lips parted, brows raising.

"Oh."

"Yeah."

"Uhm.." You licked your lips, straightening up and clearing your throat. You stayed silent, thinking of what to say in response.

"Pepper doesn't have to know. It was a drunk kiss that nobody really saw, right? I mean, I already have enough on my plate. I don't need an angry wife on top of that." You blurted out, shrugging lightly. Tony cleared his throat, nodding.

"Yeah, of course. It barely lasted a second." Tony looked forward, scratching the side of his neck. Awkward silence took over, both you and Tony unsure on how to proceed without making things even more weird.

"How are you?" Tony suddenly asked, turning towards you. "Like, in general."

"Terrible."

"Yeah, I feel that. Wanna... Wanna talk about it?" Tony asked. You stared at him, brows furrowing.

"Are you practicing on me for when Morgan needs a talk with you?" You questioned, head tilting slightly. Tony shrugged.

"Yes and no."

"That's nice." You huffed softly, gaze drifting towards the setting sun. You watched him, shoulders slumping.

"I feel.. Incredibly alone. Yeah, Nat is here but I can't rely on her. She has her own issues to deal with. Bruce... Bruce is god fucking knows where and if I tried talking to him, he'd probably just stand there. Clint is also god fucking knows where. Thor fucked off the moment they came back from killing Thanos. The outerspace crew is kind of weird. Steve is... Steve. He'd just give me a speech and a pat on the shoulder. Carol barely comes to Earth and she's also pretty intimidating." You licked your lips, shaking your head as you brought your knees up to your chest.

"The people I used to talk to have either.. Died or chosen to leave. I have to take care of a big ass fucking farmhouse cause its goddamn owner left! My life is slowly falling apart and I have to comfort myself cause nobody seems to care enough! I am so fucking tired of feeling tired. I thought I had found a family but I guess I'm not good enough for those." You raised your voice, feeling the wind get harsh for a quick minute. You let out a deep breath, eyes shutting to keep the tears from falling. You felt an arm wrap around your shoulders, gently leaning you against a warm body. You sniffle, a shakey sigh leaving you.

"And I am so tired of crying." You whispered. Tony gently leaned his head against yours, hand squeezing your arm.

"I know.. I'm sorry." He said quietly. You relaxed against him, feeling numb and empty. You looked down at the photo. You wondered if this was the life Michael had wanted for you. To be a hero to a planet missing fifty percent of its inhabitants.

"You know what might make you feel better?" Tony asked.

"What?" You sat up, using the sleeve of your jacket to wipe your nose as you sniffled. Tony stood, motioning for you to follow. He offered his hand, watching you pick up the mug. You took his hand, holding it as Tony led you off the roof and down the stairs. You placed the mug on the nearest table, letting him guide you outside and onto the field. You stood in the middle, looking at him with furrowed brows.

"Letting it out." He finally answered, letting go of your hand and taking some steps back. He raised his arms.

"Let it out. Scream, kick, punch, curse. Let it all out." Tony said, smiling widely. You sniffled, still unsure.

"C'mon, I'll do it with you. On a count of three, okay? One... Two... Three!" You inhaled with Tony, eyes shutting as you screamed as loud as you could. You heard Tony chuckle in amazement, opening your eyes. You noticed he had been knocked down onto the grass, the trees nearby having been bent back by the wind. The grass around your feet were burned and gray clouds had formed in the sky. You noticed Tony looking up at something behind you so you turned, blinking and slowly looking up at the large ice spikes that almost reached the clouds.

"Holy shit." You whispered, taking a step back.

"You're still on the tip of the iceberg with your powers, Elsa." Tony said, getting up as it began to thunder. You felt some weight off your chest, turning to face you.

"You know.. That actually did help." You chuckled, smiling gently.

"Well, I am a genius." Tony replied, digging into his pocket and pulling out car keys.

"I should get going. Pepper's cooking dinner and I don't want to miss it." Tony said. You nodded, walking with him towards the road. A sports car drove out of the garage, stopping infront of Tony.

"All my things have already been sent home." Tony said, looking at you. You hummed, nodding.

"You can be an asshole sometimes but.. You'll be missed." You told him softly. Tony gave a genuine soft smile.

"You should visit, kid. You might like my new place." Tony said, opening the door and getting in.

"Give me a call and I'll visit when I can." You said, watching him buckle up. Tony nodded, sliding on sunglasses.

"I'll be seeing you."

"Not really looking forward to it." You replied, hearing a small snort before the car drove off. You watched it go, sighing softly. You looked over at the spikes, licking your lips.

"What more can I do?"

~

Tags: @geek-and-proud @wolfelocksley @babyvisionisamenace @jjk-is-my-shit

[vintage-marina]

A woman out of time (james norrington x f!reader) chapter 2

TW: suicidal thoughts, idk what the word is but the reader is seeing things that isn’t there

You washed your face and looked into the mirror, the circles under your eyes were enormous and it looked like you hadn't slept in days, what indeed was. Every time you closed your eyes you saw the battle of Wakanda or you saw the faces of people that you had murdered. Murdered, you had murdered them. You screwed your eyes shut and clung to the sink for dear life, a sob escaped your lips. I don't deserve this, you thought to yourself, your victims should be alive not you, them. Not you, Vision, Vision deserved it. Or Wanda, Bucky, Sam, Peter, T'Challa everyone besides you. T'Challa, yes he deserves my place, but he isn't here to take it isn't he? You softly hummed a song to yourself, a method to soothe you. After a few minutes of humming, you opened your eyes. Red, your eyes were red, you touched your cheeks and you realised you were crying. You stared into the mirror, you saw yourself but you couldn't reconise her. You stared to face and noticed the scars on it, they were small and were from the bomb that exploded right in front of you and you noticed the burn on your neck. You didn't found them ugly, but you didn't love them either. They were a part of you now and you couldn't do anything about it, just like your arm. You felt neutral about them. You picked up your toothbrush and brushed your teeth, the feeling of guilt slowly washing away. You knew that that feeling would never go away, but just like your therapist said you must learn to live with it, if you wanted to live your life in a somewhat peacful state.

Ever since half of the population died you didn't knew what to do, you felt like you didn't belong in the group that they called themselves the Avengers but you also didn't fit in as a civilian, so in the chaos that Thanos left you packed your bags and moved away, after you were fully healed ofcourse. You left everyone a handwritten letter and then you moved into a little old house on the shore.  

You heard the telephone ringing, you walked toward the livingroom and picked up the phone. Maybe it was Steve, Natasha or Tony you didn't knew. You wiped your tears away, stupid ofcourse because the caller couldn't see them. ''Hello, with Y/N'' you said into the phone, it was Natasha. ''Hey Nat! How are you? No, I'm not crying why did you think that?'' ''You know that you don't have to lie to me right? But if you don't want to talk about it, you don't have to'' ''Yeah, I've been crying but I'm fine now. '' The last part was half a lie, you were fine but a few minutes earlier you weren't. ''Im glad to hear that you are doing alright, sometimes it is just so hard you know?'' You hummed in agreement, not knowing if she talked about her past or about the guilt she felt with the whole Thanos hassle. '' But, Y/N/N, I, no we have something important to talk about. Scott, you remember Scott right?'' ''Yeah, I remember him, he was snapped right?'' ''We thought that too but a few hours ago, he showed up on our doorstep of the compound.'' ''So he wasn't snapped away, you mean'' now it was her turn to hum in agreement. ''Y/N, what I want to tell you is that we can bring them back and we want you to be there,'' you smiled a little and you whispered: ''Ofcourse, I will be there'' ''We will pick you up in an hour, see you then'' ''See you Nat'' Natasha hanged up and you pressed the telephone to your chest and let yourself fall on your little couch and let out a laugh. A few minutes ago you felt on a point of breaking down and now hope streamend into your veins.

An hour flew by and you saw in the distance three figures walking, one blond headed, one red headed and one had dark brown hair. You openend your door and welcomed them inside, ''Hi guys'' you said to them and gestured that they can sit down, you went back to your little kitchen and brought back some drinks and cookies. You sat on a chair and turned your eyes to Scott, ''so you just showed up after 5 years of radio silence?'' ''Yep'' ''how?'' ''I got stuck in what they call the Quantum Realm'' ''What the hell is that?'' you mumbeled, ''Alright so, that realm is a microscopic universe on its own and if you want to be there you have to be really tiny. Time works different there and basically I got stuck there'' ''What do you mean time works different there?'' you asked to him. ''Well, I was missing for 5 years right'' you hummed in agreement, ''but for me it was 5 hours. So I thought what if we can navigate that universe and can enter it at a certain point in time but then exit the realm at another point of time.'' Your eyes widend and your brain couldn't proces it really, ''I don't understand what you mean and that doesn 't make ant sense Scott'' he sighed and then said: ''Timetravel'' ''Like back into the future type of thing?'' you said to him, ''Wait how do you know about back into the future Y/N?'' said Natasha surprised, you turned to Natasha ''I saw it on the television ofcourse!'' Steve furrowed his brows and said: ''How have I never heard of that movie?'' you shrugged your shoulders and focused your attention back to Scott. ''So how do you guys want to timetravel, I still don't understand how you guys want to do this but I'm in.''

At the compound

After you guys could convince Bruce to help, things had happend quickly. First of all he was green, that was pretty weird for you and for the rest of your team. He explained to your group that he emerged himself and the Hulk together, you were pretty grossed out about this and was scared to asked how he did that. Secondly, you couldn't convince Tony to help out wich was disappointing but not surprising, after all you two held contact and you knew that he had a family. You understood that he was scared to loose his life or his family so you didn't try to persuade him into helping your group instead you were chatting with Pepper. Thirdly, without Tony's help was Bruce all alone on how to make this time travel thing. You hoped that he knew how to make this thing, but you weren't so sure about it. Scott was the test person and when he was gone you thought it finally worked but instead he was a teenager, then he was a baby, then he was a grandpa and then he was finally back to normal. There was panic and not just a little! Natasha was relieved when she saw that Scott went back to normal and Bruce spread his arms out and said proud: ''Timetravel!"

''But it didn't work really work'' you noticed, ''yes but also no'' Steve shaked his head and then Bruce said: ''What? I see this as an absolutle win''

Night time

A radio was playing a soft melody. The woman who you stared at didn't move a muscle, she looked like a dear in headlights. Time moved slow, to slow for her and sweat was forming on her forehead. You didn't even knew her name or why you were here, you only knew you had one job. The room reeked of blood and it was coated on the floor, you raised your arm and pulled the trigger before she could even scream. You could hear her body fall, finally you woke up and you could hear your heart racing. You clenched your jaw and stepped out of your bed, your feet touching the soft floor, you hummed softly trying to calm yourself. But you couldn't hear yourself, all you heard was the soft tune of the radio. Shuffling in the dark is never easy, your fingers touched a wall and your eyes went wide. Blood, why was there blood on the wall. You squeezed your eyes and then you saw the pattern on the wall. It was dark green with little leaves and flowers on it, your hand flew towards your mouth when you realised you were not in your bedroom anymore. You turned your head and then everything went back to normal. You didn't saw the blood splatters and the wallpaper anymore but you were in your bedroom?

The next day

A lot happend during the day, Tony showed up out of nowhere. Thor was back, who looked like shit. Rhodey suggested to go back in time when Thanos was a baby and to strangle him, which you found very amusing and Clint showed up with tattoos and a sad background that he killed people just because his family passed away. Everyone grieves differently I guess, some people like me you thought are gonna live in solitude and other people are gonna kill people for the fun of it. So now you were lying on the floor next to Bruce, Natasha and Tony trying to figure out where the stones are. Tony, Bruce and you were arguing about which place and time is the most convienent but Natasha broke your quabble. ''Guys, if you pick the right year there are three stones in new York'' ''Shut the fuck up'' ''You're a genius you know that right'' ''Whoah'' were the three things that were said in unison to her.

After five years you finally wore your suit again. The med pack on your bag felt familiar and you almost forgot how thick the leather was, the only bad side was that you now had to wear a mask. On your wrist was a watch and after twenty explanations from Tony you understood how to work with that thing, above your suit you wore another suit were you would timetravel in. You are going to travel with Tony, Scott and Steve to New York 2012 because Tony could help you with your suit when you didn 't knew how to work with it. ''Can someone please explain to me why I would have to wear a mask again?'' Actually you did know why, because the four of you didn't want to risk that 2012 Steve would regconise you. The Avengers and you were walking in unison and you guys formed a circle. Natasha and Steve looked at eachother and she said to him smiling: ''See you in a minute'' a machine whirred above you and you clicked on a button to summone your helmet and then you were shrinking.

It was a really weird experience to say atleast, your tummy was doing cartwheels and you felt your fingers (but not from your vibranium arm) tingling. You saw blue everywhere and it looked like honeycombs. You marveled at this, but then someone's elbow went into your ribs and you flew out of the orbit. Instead of going right with the others you went straight ahead. Shit, shit shit! But everything went so fast you didn't even had more time to think about it. A flash happend and you had your eyes shut. Your vibranium arm was stuck into something but not for long, whatever your arm was in was ripping and flew down with you. You could hear yells and cursing and then you fell on the ground. Well, not ground but on wood? You heard it crack underneath you and you thought you had fallen through the floor. Something is strange here, you didn't hear any cars, you didn't hear airplanes and you certainly didn't smell the fumes. You sniffed again, and you regconised it, it was salty and now your ears heard the soft waves of the ocean. You were on the ocean, you cracked one eye open and right in your face was a small man with dirt on his cheeks and wearing a mullet. ''Witch! A witch is on our ship!'' Fuck.

[lilbabycee]

Going undercover with Steve and having him get PISSED and distant bc he has to watch u wear revealing clothes and flirt with some attractive men, Yanno just about do anything to get them to spill

(i wrote a whole bucky fic like this):

steve would absolutely be so irritated at tony for suggesting it

he hates the thought of anyone touching his baby in the first place, but to have to watch you actively flirt with people??

yeah he’s definitely not a fan

right before you land, steve pulls you aside in the quinjet and wraps his arms around your waist, cupping your jaw with his large palm and sighing loudly

“what’s wrong, babe?” you scan his face with concern. “is it the mission? did you not like our plan? do you not think it’ll work?”

steve sighs again, debating on whether or not to divulge his feelings to you about what’s about to happen tonight, but he holds back - he doesn’t want to burden you with that and knows that you’re a professional through and through

“no, that’s not it, sweetheart. just missin’ you.”

“i’m right here, stevie,” you grin up at him, pressing a quick kiss to his lips before going back to the table to strategize with tony and rhodey

when the time comes for him to watch you hang onto those men and flirt relentlessly with them, he still can’t help the way that his knuckles pale from tightly gripping onto his whiskey glass

their hands wander down to grope your ass or rest suspiciously low on your back as you rest your head on their shoulders

one man in particular (the target) pulls you in for a kiss and you look so bubbly and giggly that steve’s entire face turns red as the glass he’s holding shatters and cuts into his hand

he’s too angry to care, watching your lips against a stranger’s, and although he knows that it’s purely because of work, he can’t help the sense of betrayal that pierces through his heart

but as he goes to intervene, rhodey materializes next to him and drops a firm hand on his shoulder, giving him a meaningful look

“don’t,” is all he says, tugging the blonde man backwards and steve listens to him, though he grits his teeth and clenches his jaw

and when you’ve gotten what you needed from the objectively attractive man that you’ve been seducing, all you can think about is how much you want to be with your boyfriend

but when you meet him back on the quinjet after tony comes to grab you, he’s sitting in the pilot’s seat, ready to go

you frown slightly because he usually meets you right at the door but shrug it off, coming up behind him to wrap your arms around his shoulders

“hey,” you kiss the space right below his ear and he doesn’t even move, unflinching with a square jaw and a steady gaze in front of him

“stevie?” you try again, kissing his cheek this time until he shrugs you off and turns to rhodey:

“are we ready to go?”

and then he proceeds to ignore you for the rest of the flight, speaking to everybody onboard but you

at this point you’re upset but more annoyed than anything else because he’s treating you so coldly

and it goes on like this for the next couple of days - he sleeps in his own quarters instead of coming over to yours and actively avoids you

he hasn’t said a single word to you and you’re tired of it, so you corner him at breakfast

he’s been eating even earlier than usual so that he misses you on your way to training, but you’ve figured that out and are able to catch him staring into the depths of his cereal

“what’s going on, steve?” you cross your arms and shake your head in disbelief

“what do you mean?” he still doesn’t look up at you and you blink hard, scoffing

“are you really just gonna sit there and act like i haven’t been trying to talk to you for days now and you’ve just been ignoring me?”

“don’t know what you’re talking about. i’m talking to you now, aren’t i?”

you can believe what you’re hearing so you shake your head as your eyes prick with tears

“you know what? i don’t fucking have time for this. whenever you’re ready to act like an adult, let me know and we can have a conversation.”

you end up crying into your pillow for half an hour and then you attempt to distract yourself by doing some reading, but your mind keeps drifting back to steve

there’s a knock on your door and you yell “come in!” without really thinking about it too much

your very tall blonde supersoldier walks in guiltily, noticing the redness of your eyes and the residual tear tracks on your face

“god, y/n, i’m so fuckin’ stupid,” he groans, walking quickly over to where you’re lying and gathering you in his arms

you attempt to bat him away, squirming and hoping that he’ll release his hold on you but his grip is tight as he pulls you into his chest and rests his chin on top of your head

“m’so sorry, angel,” he rocks you slightly. “i was bein’ an asshole, i didn’t mean to make you cry.”

“yeah, you were an asshole,” you grumble, arms crossed against your chest. “you didn’t even tell me what was wrong...?”

“it’s just,” he sighs exasperatedly, running a hand through his hair, “i couldn’t bear to see those guys all over you... and i know that it’s part of the job and you’ve been doing this for years, but i’ve never had to see it first hand and upclose like that. it really— it really didn’t feel good.”

you’re silent for a few seconds before you release all the breath in your lungs

“oh, baby,” you coo, looking up at him, “i’m sorry as well. but you should’ve just told me. i thought you— i don’t know, i thought you hated me for some reason—?”

“i could never hate you, baby doll,” steve kisses your forehead and stares deep into your eyes. “and i know i should’ve just told you but i know how much you like your independence and i didn’t want you to think i was— i was trying to infringe on that somehow.”

“no, please don’t be scared to tell me things like that. if it really makes you that uncomfortable, i’ll be sure to give all of my honeypot missions to nat, unless it’s dire and she can’t make it.”

“i really appreciate that, sweetheart, but you’re so good at what you do. so maybe just the ones when i’m coming with you?”

“sounds good to me,” you lean up to press your lips against his soft ones. when you pull away, you smile up at him sweetly. “can we take a nap?”

he looks surprised but nods, pulling you into him as you lie down

“can’t sleep without you,” is the last thing you say before falling asleep in the arms of your boyfriend whose heart swells at your words, his love for you threatening to bring tears to his eyes as he stares down at you

oh god i am gonna cryyy

[dismuch47]

ADVANCED SETTINGS (Part 1)

And the winner of the Scarlet Vision Drabbles Voting is... Advanced Settings! With Custom Skin as a close second. Luckily this one is turning out waaay longer than I thought it would be, so I had to break it into two parts. Second part will come out later this week. 

It’s been awhile since I’ve fanfic dabbled, so this has felt really nice. I feel I will be writing more about these soulmates.

Advanced Settings: Wanda and Vision find there is more to iron out in making their relationship “work”. Rated Mature.

Wanda made her way down the narrow stairs, holding her two bags close to her person. The creaky boards protested against her dainty weight and brown chips of aged paint flaked away with each step of her boots. She strode to the stained plaid couch in the musty living area and plopped down her burdens. A roach scurried out from between the cushions and zoomed to the sanctuary of a hole in the upholstered armrest.

No… she would not miss this location.

“Has anyone seen my… oh, I see it.” Wanda walked to the defunct treadmill in the corner of the room, plucking her ear-pods from the treadmill’s control panel. The train ride would be long and music was the only way she would survive it. She shoved the corded earphones into her jacket pocket with her phone and smoothed the sides of her hair behind her ears as she ran through her mental checklist again.

“Got your ticket?” Natasha inquired over a near empty dinner plate, supplying the reminder, not out of real concern but rather a sense of familial normalcy. She was a stern but stunning mother hen.

“Ah… yes!” Wanda had to pat herself down and found the ticket in her back pocket. She held it up victoriously before putting it in the smaller of her bags. “I think I have everything…”

“Not everything.” Steve’s rich tenor voice cut in over the hissing and bubbling of the shabby kitchenette that occupied the same small space as the living area. He placed a plate of peppered chicken, plain rice, and steamed broccoli in front of Wanda before draping a dish towel over a toned shoulder. “No one should travel on an empty stomach. Eat up.”

Wanda scrunched her nose up at the the corny paternal grin he gave, but accepted the plate. She took her seat at one of the mismatched chairs that occupied the dingy room, refusing to sit on the couch with food. 

“Moscow… my old stomping grounds.” Nat sighed, before taking another bite of chicken. “Shto-to s chem-to.” Her Russian was comically muffled by food.

“I’ll take pictures.” Wanda promised, scarfing rice. “I’m forcing myself to take in more of scenery this time. But I swear once I’m in a hotel, all I want to do is shower and never leave the bed.”

Wanda winced as soon as she dropped that setup.

“Oooooh? Do tell…” Wanda had actually forgotten that Sam was in the room as well, as small as it was. He had been unusually quiet, nursing some leg soreness from a tech-recalibration injury. Nothing seriously hurt, save for pride. The plastic baggies of ice duct-taped to his thighs sloshed and clacked as he shifted in the only run-down chair with padding. “And when exactly are we gonna meet this mystery boyfriend of yours? Who pays your way to exotic locations and expensive hotels, hmmm?”

Wanda gave a tight smile that didn’t quite reach her eyes… and forked more food into her mouth to occupy it.

Sam chuckled at the intentional silence. “I see how it is.”

“A girl’s got to have her secrets.” Nat supplied, taking her plate to the sink to rinse. “Besides, I don’t recall you being very open about your copious tawdry affairs back at Avenger Headquarters.” Wanda smiled down at her food, thankful for the deflection of topic.

“Copious, yes. Tawdry… never.” Sam grinned back, putting his joined hands up behind his head in bemusement, leaning back in his chair. “I’m an open book about the ladies, Steve can tell yah.”

Steve shook his head, but acknowledged it was true with a dimpled grin. A far cry from his blank expression that used to overshadow his stoic face at any mention of Avengers history. It had been 8 brutal months since the fall-out with Tony Stark and the US government.

“And as I seem to recall, Romanoff, you were caught more than once coming back to the compound. Late. Shoeless….” Sam continued.

“Late night scrapbooking.” The ex-assassin responded dryly. “Scout’s honor.”

“And then we have Mr. Virtue over there. Clamped tighter than a nun’s thighs…” Sam continued.

Steve gave an innocent shrug. “Gentlemen don’t kiss and tell.” Nat was looking down, but gave a small grin, arms folded over her chest. Wanda briefly wondered if the two had ever connected on a level other than as a commander and his right-hand.

“Tony, well… Tony had Pepper.” The topic was exhausted, but he kept talking. Steve turned away, back to the grimy stove to tidy-up. “Brody,  shit, I don’t know how Brody had time for anything other than cleaning up after Stark, but he consistently wowed even me with all his ‘war stories’ in the battle of love.”

“And Clint was the honorable family-man.” Wanda said half-heartedly. She turned her wrist up to check the time on her watch.

“Yeah. Good man. Good man.” Sam nodded, respect for the settled existence that Hawkeye had found and chose over a life on the run. “And then there was Vision...”

Wanda’s grip on her fork slightly tightened. 

“Yeah, I couldn’t figure that guy out. He invited to his room, like, twice to talk about a painting he purchased. Twice. One of the three things in his room. A little odd…”

Wanda’s jaw tightened. The painting was a New York Street Artist’s rendition of the Tree of Life. The artist was also blind. He created a picture from memory, using odd colors to convey a synthetic translation to the image to stand out against what would be considered normal and correct. It created something beautiful and breathtaking in the process. It resinated with Vision deeply. The proceeds went to a medical facility that specialized in therapeutics for children with disabilities. Wanda had been there with the Synthezoid when he had become enamored with it at first sight. Had come to his room numerous times afterwards to talk about it, or just sit with him, staring at it’s mastery as he read aloud.

“I don’t think he ever…you know?” Sam finally said. It cut through Wanda’s thoughts. “I mean, how could he? I don’t think he even had the… machinery… for it. Poor guy.”

“Sam…” Steve didn’t have to look at Wanda to feel her bristling. He didn’t always understand it, but he knew that she had a close friendship with the synthezoid.

“Oh don’t tell me you never wondered about it.” Sam huffed.

“No, Sam. I don’t wonder about a teammate’s junk.” Steve turned around, impatient that his friend wasn’t picking up on his annoyance. He took a sip from a mug of black coffee.

“Or lack, there of.” Sam countered, oblivious.

“I have to go.” Wanda stated, louder than needed. She went to the sink with her plate.

“To be fair, Vision has molecular control of his physical structure and density.” Natasha continued, to Steve’s surprise. “So, in theory, he could get the job done. But it would be very one-sided.”

Sam raised his eyebrows. “How so?” 

“I imagine it would be like using an over-elaborate vibrator. All sensation for the partner… nothing for him.” Nat shrugged. “A safe and controlled simulation, where there is nothing asked of you.”

Sam blinked at the thought-out response. “Damn, Romanoff…”

Dishes clanked loudly, even angrily, at sink. Wanda didn’t meet Steve’s concerned look. “Sorry I don’t have time to clean these.” She strode to her bags on the couch and muttered a farewell before storming out of the apartment. The door slammed shut with the flick of Wanda’s wrist and a flash of bright scarlet energy. 

Sam’s brown eyes drifted from the door where the youngest teammate had just left. He glanced at Steve and Nat. “Did I say something?”

“We all did.” Steve put his mug down on the counter, brows knit in concern. “Vision is her friend. She misses him.” He gazed at the hot brown liquid in his mug thoughtfully, thinking of those who he missed. “We shouldn’t have talked about her friend that way.”

“Oh…” Sam blinked, and then frowned at himself. “I didn’t  think… Should I go and-?“

“Just stop talking for a sec and take your pills.” Nat interrupted, striding over to him to offer two painkillers in one hand and a glass of water in the other. “I’ll go talk to her. Smooth things over before she leaves.” Sam nodded sheepishly and accepted her offerings.

Steve made a noise of protest, to perhaps leave Wanda be, but Nat gave him an understanding “Time for Girl Talk” wink before stalking after her companion’s trail out the door.

It didn’t take her long to catch up with Wanda, who walking down the stretch of road to the nearest bus pick-up to take her to the station.

“Hey.” Nat called, not even out of breath after the jog. “You did forget something,” she held up a flash drive. “…with the next meet-up location, job details, instruction on-“

“How could you say all that about him?” Wanda shot back.

Nat considered her young teammate… her friend… for a moment. “Well, it’s the kind of thing I would say if I didn’t think that you had an intimate relationship with Vision going on, currently.”

Wanda’s lips thinned into a firm line. She crossed her arms and looked down at her feet.

“It’s the kind of thing that throws the boys off the trail about what I saw in the Netherlands when I tailed you.” Nat shook her blonde-dyed head. “I hate lying to teammates. Especially Steve. But out of respect for you and female bonding, I’ve kept my word. Keep yours and don’t let your feelings ruin your focus.”

“If you think my focus is a problem, why even let me go?” Wanda asked.

“I wouldn’t.” Nat retorted. “But Rogers seems to think you deserve some semblance of a young-adulthood. He thinks your mysterious Euro-boyfriend phase is healthy for you. And that’s of utmost importance, considering how closely your control is tethered to your emotions.”

Blunt, as always, but Wanda appreciated the honesty. And the freedom. She reached out for the flash drive after a moment. “I’ll keep my head down. Check in when I need to.”

Nat nodded approvingly, then turned to leave.

“Natasha,” Wanda called, halting her friend. “Did…did you mean what you said, though?” She searched Nat’s guarded blue eyes for truth. “That…he can’t feel what I...”

The silent response was deafening.

“That I’m  just… using him?” Wanda finally ventured.

“I won’t pretend to understand… any of that.” Natasha shrugged. “But what does it really matter what I think?”

It wasn’t reassurance. And the cold sentiments expressed in the apartment would loop themselves in Wanda’s head, no matter how loud she turned up her music on the bus. And then later on the long train ride.

As farmland and rolling hillsides blurred past, Wanda kept her forehead pressed against the cool glass of her window. She felt like Vision, her mind endlessly running and playing out memories and scenarios whether she wanted it or not. Analyzing and computing to try and find a solution to ease the pit in her stomach. 

She knew that Vision could feel. She had stumbled upon that realization during one of their first few kisses, 5 months ago. What linked her given abilities to it’s source in Vision’s forehead, though unexplainable, proved that what she felt for him…label-less yet profound…he definitively felt for her. And her absence from him, the lack of that engulfing feeling, caused him a wounding loneliness. It’s what had made Wanda want to give herself fully to him.

But with the introduction of intimate relations 1 month later…

Vision had learned everything there was to know about her body and what delighted it. What actions and sentiments yielded the most sincerest, and surfeited, responses. Always so lost in her desires and satisfaction, she always believed it when he said that his greatest pleasure was bringing about hers. But if she really thought about it…. really thought about it…

Wanda pulled her knees into her chest, boot heels digging into her seat. 

He didn’t moan. He didn’t sigh. He didn’t heave. He didn’t lose himself like she could completely in him. His eyes never left her face even when she had to close hers in convulsive ecstasy. His broad and handsome smile was always waiting for her when she would come back to reality. Waiting and in need of no reprieve.

She hated this feeling. This feeling that she was doing something wrong. That she was taking and taking without giving when she would literally set the world on fire if it meant Vision’s well-being.

Wanda was so consumed that she didn’t look up to take in the environment of Moscow as the taxi pulled in to take her to the hotel. She almost dreaded it. She was tugging at her sleeves to cover more of her hands. Did Vision have resentment about this? That she could flaunt how human she could be when he couldn’t? She hadn’t thought about that when she took the plunge to have him. She had followed instincts and emotion… like always. Wanda rubbed her forehead, upset with herself.

She checked in as usual, requesting a key to a room under “Victor Shade”, always left for her at the front per Mr. Shade’s instructions. The front desk clerk was beaming at Wanda, expressing how nice Victor was and how he talked about his world-traveling girlfriend with so much admiration. Wanda smiled weakly and accepted the extra $100 room credit gift because Victor was just “so sweet to hotel staff”.

Wanda stepped off the elevator and drudged down the hall to their room. She arrived and took her keycard out, ready to use it on the card-scanner, when the door swung wide open. 

Vision was there, beaming down at her stunned face, keycard still held up in her hand. Though of course, at the risk of being seen even for an instant, he was visible in his human mapping. Blonde hair smoothed with a slight, playful waive. Skin fair but peppered with human imperfections like freckles, freshly shaved skin texture. But his cerulean eyes were the same piercing blue true to his actual form.

“The front desk computer confirmed your arrival.” He said, to quell her surprise. “Wanda. Darling.” He said, deeply, and reverently. “Welcome to-“

Wanda let her bags fall to the floor and leaped up into his arms, legs wrapped as high on his torso as she could manage, lips crushing the end of his sentence. Vision grinned handsomely against her needy lips.

“I’ve missed you.” She managed finally, pressing her cheek against his.

“I reciprocate your sentiments.” He combed graceful fingers through her auburn hair. “Considerably, so.

***

Ever the perfect gentlesynthe, Vision carried his barnacle of a girlfriend to the suite’s luxury bathroom. She detached from his waist with a gasp as he showed her the candlelit bathroom, large clawfoot tub frothing with lavender scented bubbles, soft piano renditions of movie love-themes emanated from a portable radio he had relocated from the bed stand. He gave a controlled ray from the mindstone in his forehead to bring the lukewarm temperature of the bath back to a simper again.

“Vision… this is…”

“Exactly what you need after a long day of training and travel.” He placed a hand on either side of her head tenderly and tilted her forehead up to plant a kiss. His human facade shimmered away with the contact. “Are you hungry?”

“No.” Wanda then realized that she didn’t even eat her whole dinner. Hours ago. She reconsidered. “Well…”

“How about Olivier Salad? Or Shuba? Better known as ‘Herring under a Fur Coat’? A Russian delicacy, as I’m sure you’re aware.”

Wanda scrunched her nose up at Vision.

“Cocktail shrimp and cheese sticks it is. “ He grinned at her default preference.

“And wine! You know the kind I like…” She added, unzipping her jacket.

Vision smiled, emitting a chuckle. He left her in privacy to unwind and rejuvenate, while he called down to the front about room service to be delivered in 30 minutes. He then sat down to compose a note on hotel stationary, thanking the staff for the lovely presentation of the room and the warm reception for his Wanda. Satisfied with the flourish of his penmanship, he then accessed streaming guides to find vintage sitcoms that might please Wanda.

Only 10 minutes had passed when he heard his name being called from the bathroom.

The synthezoid was there in an instant, concern conveyed in his tone. “Wanda, I’m here. Are you-“

“I’m fine, Vis.” His human girlfriend peeked over the tub’s edge, visible only from her shoulders and up. Her long hair was wound in a sloppy bun, piled atop her head. “I just… wanted to look at you…”

Vision felt his lips curl into yet another smile. A frequent, unprompted state of expression when Wanda was near. “And…?” He inquired, kneeling to the floor to gain eye-level with her rich hazel gaze. 

Wanda bit her lip, taking his hands in her own, lacing her soapy fingers with his maroon digits. “And… I think you are wearing far too much. For a bubble bath.”

“You would like me to join you?” Vision asked, after a beat of processing the subtextual request. “Would that not defeat the purpose of… relaxing?”

“I’m tired of relaxing alone.” Wanda retorted, leaning her head down against their joined hands. “Come assist me.”

Vision stood, untangling his fingers from hers, and began stripping down. He could easily phase through his clothing, but he found the act of undressing much more interesting and human than being unencumbered by the physical properties of clothing. It also slowed down his naturally speedy rhythm of existence, which he observed pleased Wanda. The human drank in the sight of her nude synthetic boyfriend, mindlessly swirling her index finger around in the warm water she soaked in.

One long vibranium-infused leg stepped into the tub. Wanda maneuvered to the far end to make room, until Vision had sat down, adjusting his sculpted length to the confined space. She floated herself to sit on his lap, her back leaning heavily into his chest, auburn head resting against the dip of his shoulder. She signed deeply and emitted a noise of contentment at the feeling of him against her. Vision brought a hand up to cup her dainty shoulder. The other slipped across her belly, splayed out to absorb the toned smoothness of her.

“This feels nice.” Wanda murmured. Vision smiled into her neck, planting a firm kiss at the base. “Does this feel nice, Vision?”

Something in her tone of her inquiry sounded peculiar. As if there was an answer she was desiring. It puzzled the Synthezoid, who had most of her variations of responses and phrasings committed to his memory. But humans were complex and ever-evolving. Wanda was no exception.

“I am very content  to be a variable in your relaxation.” Vision retorted. He was met with silence. She was unable to see the smile on his face falter. “Unless… you wish for something more stimulating now…” HIs hand skimmed through the water, over slick skin, down her navel, to the her silky region. Seeking her sensitive entrance…

Wanda lightly clenched her thighs together, pulling his hand up out of the water and kissing his knuckles. “I just want to sit like this for a bit, Vis.”

There was a pause before his response. It made Wanda wince. “Of course, darling. Whatever you desire.” He wrapped his arms around her shoulders. “Is this alright?”

“Yes…it feels nice. It always feels nice.” Again, her words said pleasant things, but conveyed a tone ill-at-ease.

“Wanda?” 

She turned to face Vision, straddling his lap. Chest to chest.

“I’m sorry….I…” She sighed deeply. “Natasha said something and… it got to me.” Wanda looked up into Vision’s cerulean eyes. “I don’t… use you… do I? When we are together?”

“Use me?” What an odd statement.  His hand cupped the side of her face. “I have no qualms about being put to ‘use’ by you, Wanda. Ever. If that is what you ask.”

“No. I mean… ugh, how do I say this….”

“You know you can say anything, Wanda. I’m made of vibranium. I won’t be damaged.”

Wanda smiled weakly. He had come so fair in his speech patterns. Had learned personality traits that he obviously preferred. She could feel… him… a soul within, if that was what it was. She took comfort in that. 

“When we come together, intimately-“

“Sexually.” Vision supplied. Unabashed.

Wanda huffed. “Yes…sexually… you give so much. And I’m not complaining. At all. It’s… unreal.” 

Vision smiled tenderly, placing another hand on her other cheek, kissing her lips the way she had showed him awhile ago. He liked the little noises she made when he did so. And would watch her face as their lips departed from one another, her eyes usually heavy with serenity and arousal.

But not tonight.

“What do I give you, Vision?” Her inquiry was direct. She rested a cream-colored hand against the rich maroon and reflective vibranium of his chest.

Vision tilted his head at her. “Your pleasure and well-being is of paramount significance to me.” His eyes blinked excessively as she pulled her face away from his contact. He had said something unsatisfactory. “Is that not enough?”

Wanda’s gaze was now downcast. “I suppose I underestimated how much it would mean to me. To not be able to give you pleasure. To not see you able to take it for yourself, instead of just for my sake.”

The sythezoid’s eyes darted away as he processed. Avoiding her returned hazel glance. He knew it would betray his discomfort. But stoicism was not what he wanted with his Wanda during moments like these. He wanted her to see him… really see him… even in time of uncomfortable vulnerability. 

“This body was not made with human reproduction in mind, but synthesized evolution.” Vision said, finally breaking the silence. “Pleasure, desire… arousal… these are constructs that I loosely understand in definition only, and by observing how they manifest in you…who I care a great deal for. And that was enough for me.”

“Was?”

He finally brought his eyes back to her face. Her expression, contorted in aching sympathy, made his eyes close. The repressed hurt upon his face seemed an honest response, though he knew it would further upset the situation. He sought to remove himself before causing Wanda more distress.

“Vision, no…” She gently protested, but his form  disappeared from the tub and rose outside of it. The vibranium striations across his broad back glittered from the reflection of the flickering candlelight. “Vis…”

He turned towards her, his smile was back, as if it had never left. “Room service will be here soon. I surmise it best I not greet them naked.” He stooped to kiss her on top of her head, then collected his clothes before leaving her presence.

[ifmywishescametrue]

pancakes and stuffed bears

2k of fluffy alpha bucky/omega tony (with mentions of alpha steve / stuckony) for my @stb-bingo square: o5 - trip to ikea

also on ao3

Bucky wakes up slowly, groggily realizing that Tony is whispering his name. A finger pokes his cheek, and he slaps it away with his eyes still shut. He rolls onto his stomach and buries his face in his pillow, mumbling, “No, go away. It’s too early.”

Tony whines his name this time, dragging it out to be almost ten seconds long, as he shifts to straddle his lower back. He can’t lean down very far with his swollen stomach in the way, but he can still use his hands to prod at him. Fingernails drag lightly down the back of his neck, making the flesh rise in bumps. 

“It’s almost ten,” Tony says. “Get up.”

“Go bother Steve.”

“Steve isn’t here. You’re the only one I have to bother, and your daughter wants the Swedish pancakes from Ikea.”

Bucky turns his head to the side, cracking one eye open to frown up at his mate. “Where did Steve go?”

“Unimportant. The pancakes are the real issue here.”

Bucky laughs, “Pancakes are only for people who tell me where Steve went.”

Tony rolls off of Bucky so he can sit up. “I was half-asleep when he said it, so all I know is that there was a problem with something at the gallery that might have to do with the opening on Friday or it might have nothing to do with it, but it was either Sam that called him or it was Sharon.”

Bucky gets up from bed and looks over at the omega, who’s already dressed in a stretched out t-shirt that used to be his and the maternity pants that he begrudgingly wears even though he hates them. Tony’s hand is covering the bump, rubbing slow circles into it. 

He smiles at the sight even as he says, “That’s not all that helpful.” 

“I’m honestly not that sure it had anything to do with the gallery now that I’m really thinking about it. He might have said he was going there later and somewhere else now, but there was an S name mentioned somewhere in there for sure, though.”

“So all we really know is that he’s somewhere that isn’t here,” Bucky summarizes, opening the closet to find some clothes to get dressed. 

Tony sighs, “Yeah, he should really know better than to tell me things by now.” 

Bucky pulls out the first things his hands touch, ending up with a plain white t-shirt and jeans that might actually belong to Steve instead of him. When they moved houses, they didn’t do a very good job labeling the boxes, and as a result Steve and Bucky discovered that their closets might as well be interchangeable. Coupled with how often Tony steals their things these days, he has no idea what’s his and what’s someone else’s anymore. 

He gets dressed and tosses his dirty pajamas in the hamper, then tells Tony. “Just give me ten minutes to finish getting ready and we can go.”

“Really thought I would have to persuade you more on these pancakes,” Tony comments, following him into the bathroom. 

“After the ice cream incident last week?” Bucky raises his eyebrows in the mirror as he reaches for his toothbrush. “I’m not questioning any of your pregnancy cravings after that, baby doll. I think you traumatized poor Steve.”

Tony rolls his eyes, a small smile on his face as he leans back against the counter. “He’s recovered from it by now, and it’s not my fault that the baby wanted rocky road and he brought home moose tracks.”

“The baby is awfully demanding lately,” Bucky teases, squeezing out toothpaste onto the brush. “Wonder where she gets it from.”

“Probably you.”

Bucky hums through his mouthful of toothpaste, and he lifts his free hand to rest on Tony’s stomach. He can’t help but touch it every chance he gets, hoping to feel their daughter kick beneath his palm. She usually responds to the sound of his or Steve’s voice, and they’ve both been known to spend long periods talking to her just to feel her move. Tony alternates between loving it and hating it, depending on how many times she’s already kicked him in the bladder or ribs that day. 

He spits out the toothpaste and rinses his mouth, then finishes off the rest of his morning routine with as much speed as possible. 

Before they leave he grabs his wallet and phone, checking the device for any notifications from overnight. There’s a text from Steve waiting for him, and he reads it while pulling on his shoes. 

“Steve is at the zoo with Sam because one of their chaperones for the field trip dropped out at the last minute,” he tells Tony as they walk downstairs to the front door. He turns his screen so Tony can see the picture Steve sent of him with Sam and Natasha’s son in the butterfly house. There’s a blue butterfly on Steve’s shoulder, and Alex’s eyes are crossed as he tries to look up at the orange one on his forehead.

Tony frowns, “Wow, that doesn’t sound familiar at all. I don’t think he said that.”

Bucky reads directly from the second text in the chain, “‘And when you talk to Tony, tell him that I told him all of this earlier, and he said ‘that’s nice’ then fell back asleep.’”

“Well then.”

Bucky laughs as he grabs his car keys from the hook on the wall. He sends Steve a reply while walking down the front steps, telling him to have fun and send more pictures. Almost immediately he receives another one, and he shows it to Tony once they get in the car. 

“Look at this one, babe.”

Alex is on Sam’s shoulders, eating from an ice cream cone that’s dripping onto Sam’s head. Sam doesn’t look amused by it, but Steve’s grin shows that he’s loving the situation. The caption says, “That’s going to be us soon,” with four smiley face emojis. 

Tony doesn’t say anything, and when Bucky glances away from the picture to look at him, his eyes are wet and his lip is quivering. 

“Baby, are you crying?”

“No, I’m fine,” Tony says unconvincingly, wiping at his eyes with the back of his hand and completely failing to keep the tears from falling. 

Bucky snaps a picture of it and sends it to Steve. 

“Fuck you, asshole,” Tony whines, the tears flowing freely now while Bucky tries his best not to laugh at him. Pregnancy hormones have him crying at the drop of a hat these days when he rarely cried before. Bucky can only remember seeing it once, on the night that the three of them bonded, and even then it was hardly more than watery eyes. “And tell your stupid husband to go fuck himself, too.”

“My stupid husband?” Bucky scoffs, backing out of the driveway and onto the street. “I believe he is our stupid husband.”

“He’s yours when he’s making me cry with his dumb sappy face.”

Bucky reaches over the center console to take Tony’s hand, running his thumb across his knuckles soothingly. “I’ll be sure to tell him that you think his face is dumb.”

“And to go fuck himself.”

Bucky bites his lip to keep the laugh in, nodding, “And to go fuck himself. Of course, honey. I’ll let him know.”

Tony wipes at his cheeks again, using his sleeve to soak up the last of them, and he sniffles a few times to clear his nose. 

Bucky almost asks him if he’s alright, but then he remembers the last time he did that after an unexpected bout of crying and it started all over again. So instead, he lifts their joined hands and kisses the back of Tony’s to make him smile. 

They drive in comfortable silence, and Tony seems completely fine again by the time they reach the Ikea. His mood goes even higher the closer they get to the food court, and Bucky grins at the satisfaction on Tony’s face when he finally gets to have his pancakes. His moan at the first bite is almost obscene, and his eyes flutter shut in bliss. 

“Should I leave you two alone?” Bucky jokes, sipping on his orange juice. “I feel like I’m intruding on a private moment.”

“Remember that thing Steve was doing to you last night with his tongue? I guarantee this is better than that,” Tony says, and Bucky almost chokes on his juice. He glances around them, but no one seems to overheard the comment.

“I don’t know, you weren’t on the receiving end of that, babe.”

“And you’ve never had a pregnancy craving satisfied before. Morgan and I are very happy over here.”

Bucky smiles at the use of the name they recently decided on. Between the three of them, it felt like they might never find one they were all happy with. Every time two of them agreed, the third would inevitably hate it and exercise their veto power, which might have been the worst idea in history. Morgan was the first that no one hated, and when Steve put his hands on Tony’s baby bump and said the name, her enthusiastic kick ended any further debate. 

The topic of the last name has been avoided completely so far, but Steve and Bucky already privately agreed that they want her to have Tony’s alone, no matter which one of them ends up being the biological father. 

“We should look at stuff for the nursery while we’re here,” Bucky suggests. 

So far, the room only has the staple pieces of furniture: a crib, changing table, and an antique rocking chair for the corner. The walls are a pale shade of gray, and Steve is working on painting pastel flowers onto them. 

Tony nods, swallowing his large mouthful before saying, “She needs one of those giant stuffed bear things.”

Bucky raises an eyebrow, “Did she tell you this herself?”

Tony laughs and flicks a piece of fruit at him, which Bucky manages to catch and pop into his mouth. “Yes, she did. She’ll be very upset if we go home without one.”

“Well, we can’t have that, now can we?”

Tony finishes the rest of his food, and Bucky takes care of clearing the trash and plates. Grabbing his hand, Tony drags him through the store until they reach the kids section, where he proceeds to practically coo at every cute thing. Bucky can’t blame him for it, though, because he’s feeling a little overwhelmed watching his pregnant omega hold a rattle shaped like a giraffe for their daughter. 

Tony finds the giant bear he was talking about, and Bucky agrees immediately that it’s a necessity, even without Tony turning his wide, pleading eyes on him. 

He picks it up, saying, “Steve is going to kill us when he sees that our house looks like an Ikea exploded in it.”

“He’ll kill you,” Tony corrects, smiling as he strokes his hand over the swell of his stomach. “I’m protected by Morgan.”

“Damn, you’re right,” Bucky says, but it doesn’t stop him from picking up the nightlight that’s shaped like a flower. “She needs this, too.”

Tony grins, “Absolutely she does.”

Bucky’s arms get piled full of baby items. Blankets, bibs, a bath towel with a hood, toys, and stuffed animals that he struggles to see over top of on the way to the register. Tony guides him with one hand on his elbow so he doesn’t trip over anything. 

They end up filling three large blue bags, and Bucky carries all of them to the car, rejecting Tony’s offer of taking one of them. He loads them into the trunk, turning to see Tony’s smiling face when he closes it, and he can’t resist pulling him into a kiss right there in a parking lot. 

When they break apart, he leans down and presses a kiss to the top of the bump. “Baby girl, you are going to be so incredibly spoiled,” he sighs. 

“She’ll be happy,” Tony says, and his eyes are wet again. 

Bucky nods, kissing the omega’s cheek and repeating, “She’ll be happy.”

[themculibrary]

Meet Ugly Masterlist

Links Last Checked: September 2nd, 2024

Acceptance (ao3) - Judy_The_Dreamer, Trashcanakin bruce/darcy T, 31k

Summary: Darcy was about ninety percent certain that she never wanted to meet any of her soulmates. All three of them had left their unique mark on her, some more horrifying than others. The romance was well and truly dead before it had even started. Good thing working for the Avengers and wrangling scientists is more than enough to keep a girl busy. Especially since the most dangerous of the lot poses such an enticing mystery...

Found: One Bicycle (ao3) - daisymondays steve/bucky T, 8k

Summary: Bucky Barnes posted in Overheard at Middlebury College:

Hello fellow students! Basically in my drunken stupor last night I came across a bicycle. Being rather intoxicated and far from home I decided the logical thing to do was ride it back. I can assure you all that both me and the bike survived this adventure and are in perfect condition!! I now however have no use for for said vehicle and have realised that someone is probably pretty upset about having lost it. Anyway, if you can correctly identify the bike’s make and colour, slide into my DMs and I promise to return it to you!! Thanks for the ride xoxo

Home Is Wherever I'm With You (ao3) - cydonic steve/bucky E, 88k

Summary: This is what happens when you buy a house to flip having only seen the online images: you get more than you bargained for. Bucky Barnes brings all the tools to handle a dilapidated home, but he's hardly prepared for a smart-mouthed child (with poor aim), a crying baby, and the hottest dad he's ever seen in his life living right next door.

That House-Flipper!AU.

I Know Your Type (ao3) - emphasisonem steve/bucky M, 5k

Summary: “You don’t know-” the brunet growls, and it sends a frisson of heat through Steve’s body. “The first thing about me.”

Steve opens his mouth to respond, but the words die in his throat as the brunet claims his lips in a fierce kiss. Steve has every intention of pushing him away when his hands reach up to the broad chest before him, but instead he finds himself curling his fingers into the fabric of the other man’s shirt and pulling him closer.

In which Steve and Bucky get off on the wrong foot.

Insomniac Support Group (ao3) - rememberednoah steve/bucky T, 2k

Summary: In which Bucky and Sam both have insomnia and are in an insomniac support group. In which Sam drags Steve (the asshole who sleeps perfectly fine during the night) with him to a meeting and Steve dutifully and accidentally falls asleep. In which Bucky attempts to kill Steve (aka glares at Steve until he wakes up and then proceeds to glare at him more).

It's a Secret No One Knows (ao3) - Dresupi darcy/pietro T, 4k

Summary: Where first impressions can be detrimental. And it takes some people longer to warm up to their soulmates than others.

Especially when both people are arrogant little spitfires.

Somewhere Between a Rock and a Hard Place (ao3) - MassiveSpaceWren, mortenavida bucky/tony M, 23k

Summary: Shadow and Iron have been online gaming friends for years but never met.

Bucky Barnes just got a temporary contract to work at Stark Industries and he absolutely hates his new boss.

The two have a lot more in common than originally thought.

Steve Rogers: Architect (ao3) - loonietuna steve/bucky E, 10k

Summary: “Why would he actively try and fuck up a building that he and his men are constructing? You really that narcissistic to think the guy is giving blood, sweat, and tears just to fuck up your project?” Sam asks incredulously.

“Every time Sam, without fail, every time I go to that site something is wrong, or something is being built that wasn’t in my fucking plans. I can’t go to the site every day and watch over his shoulder, I’ve got other buildings going up!” Steve sighs, throwing his hands up. Steve was fortunate enough to hit the ground running after school and has become one of the youngest architect to achieve his level of success – a level that warrants him being contracted by Tony Stark personally to work on his namesake – so Steve can’t fuck this up.

More importantly, Steve can’t let Barnes fuck this up.

the world collapses into you (ao3) - maikurosaki steve/bucky M, 123k

Summary: Bucky Barnes has two jobs, works seventy hours a week, and raises his sisters since their parents’ death four years ago. He is exhausted, stressed, and constantly worried. He doesn’t have the time or patience for anyone’s crap. Too bad Captain America didn’t get the memo.

When Bucky unexpectedly meets Steve Rogers, it’s mutual dislike at first sight. In fact, Bucky decides straight away that Rogers is a self-righteous bastard and hopes never to see his face again. Unfortunately, life has a way of mocking Bucky’s plans.

Visiting Hours are Nine to Forever (ao3) - Tahlruil clint/tony T, 17k

Summary: Look, Clint didn't mean to hit the guy, it just sort of happened. He was distracted, and the guy was distracted, and then things were a little bit out of his control. And even if it wasn't completely his fault, he still feels pretty bad about it. He had to go see the guy, didn't he? It was only polite, so yeah. He'd do that.

And look, he doesn't mean to start fake dating his accident victim either, but sometimes life is weird that way. You just gotta go with the flow when it happens, and learn to be the best fake boyfriend ever.

Wait and Hope (ao3) - monobuu bucky/tony, steve/natasha G, 5k

Summary: Tony meets a handsome man outside a coffee shop and it’s everything you might imagine in a stereotypical meet-cute. Until the man opens his mouth.

What Would You Do? (ao3) - MonalisaMontauk steve/bucky T, 1k

Summary: Bucky Barnes is an actor for the Reality TV Show "What Would You DO?" Bucky and the lovely Sharon Carter are filming a segment on Street harassment/catcalling. Bucky doesn't expect a feisty blonde headed guy to defend Sharon's honor by punching him. He just might be a little in love.

You got me banging on the wall (ao3) - sassystuckystan steve/bucky E, 7k

Summary: Bucky's next door neighbor, while being the pinnacle of sex, is singlehandedly the most annoying and frustrating man on the planet. Naturally, Bucky's dick is very interested. Throw in a dash of internships, mild voyeurism, and traitorous roommates, you have a recipe for an all-out war.

or, Bucky really needs to get laid but a semi-hate fuck would also suffice.

You've Cat To Be Kitten Me (ao3) - thelilacfield wanda/vision T, 27k

Summary: “What’s up, neighbour?”

“My cat is pregnant."

“Congratulations, grandpa!”

“And I found your cat with her on Halloween, after you summarily informed me you would turn the music down and proceeded not to. Is your cat neutered?”

“Oh shit.”

[angstsfordays]

A Lot Like Love

Summary: Six months into joining the Avengers, you had your first clash with Steve Rogers. A prequel to Stay With Me.

Pairing: Steve Rogers x Avenger!Reader, Bucky x Reader (Platonic)

Warnings: FLUFF. ANGST. FEELINGS. A few bad words.

Word count: 6k-ish

Notes: I’m back with another Steve Rogers fic! I don’t know how I always easily write over 6k and I sometimes wonder if its too much! Honestly, I’m hoping to write more but I have been stuck with a writer’s block. Several ideas and draft were made but I can’t seem to follow through. Hope you will forgive me as I navigate this through! 😭

This story took me weeks as I felt it was not good enough but I managed to write a version that I liked. Hope you will do too! If you haven’t checked it out, I wrote a Dad!Steve story called No, Mama. Check out my masterlist too! 🥰

 Leave a like, reblog or comment to let me know what you think! 💖

———————————————————————

“I’m very disappointed in you, Y/N. I expected more from you.”

His words were laced with frustration. Your face scrunched up as you tried to prevent yourself from crying.

You wanted to show that you deserved a place among the ranks of the Avengers. Afterall, you had come to idolise Steve Rogers ever since you entered the academy and grew an admiration for the hero under the influence of your then mentor, Phil Coulson.

However, you have soon come to learn that the perfect image of the Captain changed when you got to work under directly.

You heard about how much of a hard ass he could be from Bucky and Sam. Steve Rogers had rules when it came to managing his team and expects his team members to follow his instructions closely. In your ignorant bliss, you believed that he was just acting like any other leader.

It was a mission targeting a rogue scientific facility that decided to engage in human experimentation involving missing and homeless people. The catalyst for this mission came from a sharp increase in missing reports. The local authorities believed it was out of their league to engage this facility given that it was backed by an influential figure.

The goal was to save those under captivity and hopefully arrest the mastermind behind this cruel act of humanity. A majority of the team was deployed with Steve, Bucky, Natasha, Sam, Wanda and yourself.

Sam, Wanda and you were placed on the team to bring the captives out while the Steve, Bucky and Natasha were tasked to take out security and secure data that could aid in finding who’s the one supporting the facility.

You were informed that everyone was held accounted for and that everyone can proceed to board the jet. The woman you held in your arms was still trembling as you moved to escort her to the Quinjet meant to transport the captives.

Her sobbing intensified as you started to feel her weakly clawing at your arms while mumbling something incoherent.

“What’s wrong? Hey, breathe in, breathe out.” You tried to get her to calm down so that she can speak properly.

“There’s someone else- Jacob, they kept him in the-” The woman tried her best to tell you as she took deep breaths.

“Where did they keep him?”

“There’s an isolation room. Jacob fought back as they tried to take away one of the little ones. They placed him in solidarity confinement for that. It’s located in the west wing of the-” You heart accelerated as you took in the information.

You knew that there was plans to burn the facility to the ground. You overheard one of the guards giving instructions to another before Natasha shot him.

“Everybody out, we’re done here.” Steve came into your view as he overlooked at the captives being escorted into the Quinjet.

“Please, he’s a young boy himself too. No more than 18 years old.” The woman pleaded with you. You nodded in response to show that you understood her worries and you made to move.

“Follow the rest back to the jet. I will get him.” Reassuring her once more, you took off into a sprint and allow your powers to push you off the ground in long strides towards the direction of the crumbling building.

“Y/N! What are you doing?!” You could hear Steve screaming after you. Pressing into your earpiece, you told him that there was one more person to save.

You could hear your comrades persuading you to stop as you see the whole building ablaze on fire.

“Y/N!” Steve shouting with both frustration and desperation, asked you to turn back but you ignored his instructions for the first time ever.

Hoping your instincts were right, you rushed to the west wing of the building. There were debris everywhere and you had to conjure a shield from your energy-based powers to protect yourself.

Your eyes lit up and seeing a plain door with a small peep hole.

“Jacob!” You called out, hoping that you got the right one and made to blow the door off its hinges before kicking it down.

You saw Jacob covered in soot from the flames and he was seen to be gasping for air, presumably from the inhalation of smoke. His hands reached out to you feebly and you pulled him closer under your protection.

“Captain, I found him.” You pressed into your earpiece.

“We will be there to extract the both of you.” His reassuring voice allowed you to take a breath as you cradled Jacob in protection. The oncoming debris alerted you that the building was going to fall and you might be buried underneath it. Frantically looking around for an exit, you knew the door you came in from was not an option.

As the four walls came crashing down, you let your powers engulfed you and Jacob in a protective bubble. You weren’t sure how long you could hold it out as you felt the impact of debris falling.

The call of your name brought you out of your temporary prayer and you could hear Wanda on the other side of the wall. You weren’t sure what happened next but when you opened your eyes, you saw that you were on the grassy ground not far from the facility.

Your senses alerted you of another impending explosion, thus you quickly shielded yourself from the impact by projecting a tranquilizing barrier to soften the impact of the blast. The next moment was a daze as you felt your face meeting the fresh grass. In a state of blur, you could sense yourself being lifted off the ground and carried into someone’s arms.

Your eyelids were heavy while you struggled to open them. The last thing you remembered was a voice calling out your name.

———————————————————————

You were jolted awake but all you see was darkness. That was when you realised that your eyes were not opened and you were only subconsciously awake.

You willed yourself to open your eyes but the bright line that pierced into your sight had you closing them immediately. Waiting a few more seconds, you slowly tried again and blinked to adjust to the light.

The next thing that your senses picked up was the beeping of a monitor. Then came the aches in your body. Letting out a groan, you slowly wriggled to move your muscles. Within the next minute, you managed to sit up.

You realised that you were in the medical wing of the compound. Flurried footsteps were heard as Dr Cho came into view. She started fussing around to check for your vitals. You were still in a blurry state of mind and only started to focus when she called your name.

“Y/N, how are you feeling?”

A groan answered her question as you held one side of your head.

“I suspect some traumatic aftershock from the blast but you seemed alright everywhere else. You’re lucky.”

“That’s my middle name.” You kidded as you saw your friends filing in the room. Dr Cho informed them of your condition and you could see the relieved expressions on their faces when they were told that you were mostly alright.

You blinked several times and saw Wanda came to sit by you, petting your head in a comforting gesture. You leaned in her warmth and had your head on her shoulder. Natasha came to sit on your other side and held one of your hands in hers.

“I will keep her under observation for a day.” Dr Cho informed before walking out of the room. Once she was gone, all attention was back on you.

“That was ballsy of you, kid.” Tony quipped as he gave you a once over. His heart dropped when he was informed that you lost consciousness in the field while working in the lab.

You gave him a mock salute and grinned in response.

“I don’t think you should be joking, Y/N. You almost got yourself killed.” Steve Roger’s voice took your attention. Oh boy, he looked fuming in his signature crossed arms pose.

“Hey, all that matters is that she’s okay.” Bucky interjected, sensing Steve’s bad mood. He looked over Steve with a concerned expression before moving to yours to show support.

“I did what I had to do, Captain.” Brows furrowed, you did not understand why Steve had to take that tone.

“No, I gave you clear instructions to come back. Instead, you just ran head straight into a blazing fire.” Steve pressed on in a reprimanding tone.

“She was just trying to the right thing, Steve. Anyone of us would have tried to do the same.” Sam tried to speak up on your behalf. Everyone was now alert of the hostility emanating from the Captain.

They knew Steve could have a temper if he wanted but what they didn’t know was why he seemed more bothered than usual. Everyone had made several mistakes in the field from time to time, but Steve never took it to heart. He overlooked them quickly and just reminded to do better next time.

It seemed that Steve was more affected this time round. Steve then asked for everyone to clear your room so he could speak to you alone.

Everyone started filing out, Bucky and Sam gave you worried looks while Wanda and Natasha gave you pats on your shoulders. Tony, being the nosy king he is, wanted to stay to see what happens next but was swiftly ushered out by Natasha. Vision who came to visit tried to give you a reassuring look to which you responded with a slight smile.

You didn’t see what the point was when the walls were made of glass and everyone could still what was going on. Once Steve saw the last person out and the door closed, he spoke up.

“We could have come up with a plan instead of rushing into a burning building that’s about to collapse any minute!”

“There was no time for a plan. I could do it! I’m trained for this!” You retorted in your defense. You believed you made the right call, how could you not take any action when you knew someone needed saving.

“I was an agent before I was an Avenger. I knew the risks!” You added onto your argument to justify your actions.

“Sometimes we cannot save everyone, Y/N. It’s not worth the risk!” Hearing Steve’s words riled something up in you. For the first time, you forgo the idolised image you had of him and saw him as a stubborn and unreasonable person.

“It’s worth trying! And I did it!”

“Have you thought of what everyone felt? Have you thought of what I felt when I see you running into the burning building? The odds may not always be in your favour.” Steve decided to take strides towards the end of your bed.

“Well, I beat the odds? Didn’t I?” As you were still sitting down on your bed, you craned your head to look up at him. You returned his intense glare with your own. Steve couldn’t believe your defiant words and he felt his temper reaching a boiling point.

“Don’t make excuses for your reckless behaviour. You should have listened to me!”.

“I’m sorry I don’t listen when I think something is unreasonable.” Your words came out cold and you heard the gasps from some of the team outside of the room.

Everyone couldn’t believe the exchange happening in front of them. Your sudden attitude change towards Steve caught them by surprise as well Steve’s display of temperament. In the time they know you, they known you were polite and respectful to Steve and they had always known Steve to be mild-tempered.

“You think asking you to stay away from your impending death is unreasonable?” Steve spoke calmly but in a way that showed restraint from bursting.

“You would have done the same, Captain. Ironic for someone who once marched into a fully armed Hydra camp solo.” If your previous words from before didn’t serve to tip Steve over the edge, your last one did. Steve’s eyes widened at your remarks as if he couldn’t believe you said that.

“Suspension from the field till I say so. Until then, I hope you’re looking forward to paperwork, Y/L/N.” Gritting your teeth in anger, you also started to feel the unexpected tears welling up in your eyes.

“I’m very disappointed in you, Y/N. I expected more from you.”

Ouch, those words hit you like a bullet train. What’s more, it came from Steve- someone you respected and admired.

You tried to blink them away and looked down on the surface of your bed. You knew you were close to tears and balled up your fists to stop yourself from losing your emotions. Opening your mouth, you were sure that you wanted to make another retorted but was surprised when nothing came out.

You looked out to the needle in your hand connecting to the IV drip. Reaching out, you pulled it out with the little strength you had. Steve was shocked to see what you were doing and his next sentence came out in a concerned tone compared to his previous stern one.

“What are you doing?”

You briefly ignored him as you got your legs off the bed. Setting them down gently, you made sure you had your bearings and stood up gingerly. You took a few steps to warm up your sore muscles.

Steve’s hands came up to rest on your arms and you looked up to his eyes full of bewilderment at your actions. You shrugged them off and returned a cold stare back, you then tried to move around him.

“Hey, where do you think you are going-”

“Oh, am I supposed to report my every location to you now?” You answered sarcastically. You made your way to press the button to open the glass door of your ward.

“I can leave, Y/N. You need to rest!” Steve was clearly flustered by what you were doing. He knew he crossed the line on his remarks but he was still concerned about your well-being.

You spoke up as the door opened to your friends staring on in disbelief.  

“Come on Tony, let’s order cheeseburgers and fries.”

You were apathetic to the reactions of everyone and especially one in particular as you tried to walk off in the direction of the kitchens, faking a strong front when really you were broken inside.

Steve Rogers can go piss himself.

———————————————————————

You recovered faster than expected but were restricted to less strenuous activities for at least a week by Dr Cho.

This only meant a week of boredom as you struggled to occupy your free time. You were worried how you were going to get around the compound with the possibility of coming into contact with Steve at any moment’s notice.

However, when Natasha told you that Steve was going on the follow up mission to apprehend the mastermind behind the science facility, you heaved a sigh of relief. Natasha and Sam were also tasked to go along with him as well.

Luckily, you still had Bucky, Wanda and Vision to keep you company. Tony made sure to stop by when he comes into the compound with your favourite takeout, he thought he could make up for Steve’s harshness on his part.

You told your friends about Steve’s ‘punishment’ and were genuinely concerned at its implementation. Taking you out of the field was one of the worst punishments for you. If you do not work in the field, then what kind of Avenger could you be? Plus, you hated paperwork the most. They always gave you a migraine.

In Steve’s absence, you were free to roam around as per normal. You went about your usual routine of catching up with your shows and just chilling with your friends.

You went out shopping with Wanda one day, the next you had engaged Vision in the fun of board games specifically the ‘Game of Life’ and you also played video games with Bucky the day after.

However, your momentarily bliss ended on your fourth day of rest when footsteps entered the common game room.

“Oh come on Bucky! You can do so much better!” You stated as Bucky tried to keep up with the steps on ‘Just Dance’.

“I don’t know why I let you rope me into this.” Your friend grumbled like an old man (which was befitting of his age) as he started shaking his hips awkwardly in accordance to the character on the TV screen.

“I’m helping you to keep up with the times! What better way through dance!” You countered his remark as you did a body wave.

“You’re lucky Sam’s not here, otherwise I would never-” Bucky spoke as he chuckled at your remark but he was not able to finish when he got interrupted.

“What the f-” The recognition of Sam’s voice had you pausing your game momentarily. You turned around to face what you would expect to be Sam only, but your eyes widened like a deer caught in headlights at who else you saw.

You froze in your actions and looked over to Bucky who looked equally mortified. Both of you were panicking for different reasons.

“Friday, you got that on camera?” Sam started balling over at how he witnessed the usual stone-cold Bucky dancing. Bucky dancing like a modern millennial?! Sam grinned like a Cheshire cat.  

You started blinking nervously as you craned your head to see Bucky positively fuming and you could even detect Bucky growling.

“Hey! That’s not nice, Sam! Bucky was just accompanying me because I was bored.” You tried to intervene as you placed a hand on Bucky’s arm to reassure him.

“But did you see his moves, I mean-”

“Bored? Didn’t you start on the paperwork I assigned you?” Steve’s voice cut into the conversation like a knife. The atmosphere in the air suddenly shifting towards a tense one. You looked down on the floor to avoid answering Steve’s question.

“I’m still resting from the previous mission. Dr Cho’s orders.” You formulated an answer after a moment of silence.

“Clearly.” The hint of sarcasm in Steve’s voice was unmissed by everyone in the room, proving to further embarrass you than you already are.

“You can start on collating the report from the previous mission.” Taking a nervous gulp down your throat, you looked over at Bucky who eyed you sympathetically and then over to Sam who kept quiet.

Even he knew when to read the room when Steve was putting on his captain hat.

You begrudgingly dragged yourself to the level where the open office is. With Friday’s help, you retrieved the documents that you needed to kickstart the report that Steve assigned you. You began to work while listening to your music playlist and soon find yourself immersed in the zone.

The music in your ear pods was blasting in such high volume to drown out your surroundings that you could not hear Friday calling for your attention. Your jerked in your seat when you felt a tap on your shoulder and looked over to see Bucky.

Taking out your ear pods, you paused the music playing on your laptop.

“What’s up, Buck?”

“I’m calling you to come to dinner. Friday told us you have been here for six hours.” Oh, you didn’t know you had been here at your desk for that long. Looking at the time on your computer, you saw that it was already closing to half past seven in the evening.

“Come on, Wanda and Vision made dinner.” Bucky pulled you out of your chair and placed his hands on your shoulders to guide you out of the office.

“Look, Y/N-” Bucky let out a sigh as the two of you made your way to the elevator. “I’ve known Steve forever and believe me, he’s not out to get you.”

“Oh yeah, what about what happened earlier?” You asked Bucky with a defeated look while leaning your back on the wall.

“You have to understand from his perspective. Being a leader is more than just leading, a leader takes care of everyone in his team. How do you think he felt when he knew you were in danger?” Bucky’s question made you reflect and realized that you had only be thinking about yourself.

“He would have felt the worst if we lost you because you’re his responsibility.” Bucky continued while placing a comforting hand on one of your shoulders. A sense of guilt had sunk inside your heart upon listening to what Bucky said.

You awkwardly looked down on the floor as you did not know what to say. Hearing Bucky’s words, you realised that you had only been thinking about your own perspective and failed to recognise what people around could have felt.

Bucky knew you were deep in thought and reflection as you kept quiet. He felt that he wanted to explain on behalf of Steve since he believed that you might have not understood where Steve was coming from.

You weren’t the only one affected from the argument. Steve didn’t have it any better. Steve tried to conceal his emotions with neutral expressions but Bucky saw that his best friend would always perk up when your name was mentioned amongst the team for the past weeks.

Bucky saw Steve standing outside your door the day when you were cleared to go back to your room. It seemed like Steve wanted to talk to you but couldn’t bring himself to actually knock on the door. When he was caught, Steve brushed it off like he was just passing by. But Bucky knew better.

Bucky had his hands around your shoulders as he led you towards the common eating room. You could hear the voices of your friends chattering and instantly picked up the smell of lasagne inviting you to take quicker steps towards the room.

“I smell lasagne!!!” You skipped in joy towards Wanda who was letting the lasagne cool on the table. Wanda gave you a bright smile and did a small cheer dance,

Your cheery persona, however, dropped when you turned to see who was sitting at the dining table across you. Steve looked up at you with an unreadable expression as if to gauge your reaction at the sight of him.

Wearing your heart on your sleeves, you couldn’t hide your emotions when you saw him. Half of you still felt upset at Steve’s cold attitude while the other half was consumed by guilt.

“Come on, Y/N. You must be starving after doing so much paperwork.” Bucky tried to sit you down but you resisted his push. You refused to let your feet move but it was a laughable attempt when he was a super soldier and could have just easily picked you up.

You were not ready to face Steve yet as you were still uncomfortable from your previous exchange.

With your quick wit, you brought your hand up to one side of your head and crouched over in fake pain. “I’m not feeling so good, I think I’m going to head back to my room-”

“What? But Wanda made lasagne! You live and die for it!” Sam exclaimed from the side and you cringed when you realised that you had to come up with a better excuse.

“Oh, I must have gotten a migraine from all that paperwork. I think I need to lay down, I don’t think I can see-” You held yourself back before the truth came out but you peeked over and could see that Steve didn’t buy your nonsense.

 “The lights.” You tried to quickly cover up your verbal flounder. “Oh, the lights are making me dizzy.” Spinning out of Bucky’s hold, you kept up your act by muttering excuse after excuse. You tried to ignore the calls of your friends as you briskly walked back to your room without turning back.

Letting your body fall onto the comfort of your sheets, you let out a big sigh as you looked up at the ceiling. Your eyelids felt heavy as you started blinking, you knew you were worn out from just typing at your desk all day.

The next moment you woke up, it was still dark outside your window. You reached for your phone and saw that it was around midnight. The grumbling in your stomach served to remind you that you haven’t had dinner.

You made to wash up first before making your way to the kitchens. Friday had informed you that everyone had retired to your rooms. Knowing that you were alone, you walked with ease in search for food.

Your eyes spotted something at the table and saw that Wanda had left you a portion of dinner. Putting it in the microwave to heat up, you took your phone out to find something to watch while you ate dinner.

You propped your phone up against a tissue box and dug into your dinner. The comfort food made you feel good and you went over to the fridge to grab a bottle of beer.

Engrossed in the video playing in front of you, you didn’t realise someone in the shadows who was watching you giggle at something funny playing on your phone.

———————————————————————

Steve regretted the way the words came out of his mouth. He was supposed to check if you were alright after the incident but he was taken aback by the turn of events.

Normally, you were polite and respectful towards him. You two had friendly exchanges but he could tell you were more comfortable with the rest of the team.

It riled him up when you challenged him and refused to admit your mistakes. You did not realise how worried everyone was when you ran ahead to the burning building. The panic rose when there were the minutes of silence that followed after he tried to comms you.

Everyone in the team looked to each other in worry and were at a lost on what to do. Steve brought Wanda and Bucky over to the supposed location where you might be at. The two looked over Steve for his next instructions.

Your voice coming up on everyone’s ear piece was an answered prayer when he knew you were safe. Steve got Wanda to blast a hole in the side of the wall. That’s when he saw you huddling over the young boy, using your own body to shield him while extending one hand to conjure an energy-based force to protect from fire and debris.

Wanda used her powers to bring both of you out and settled you on the ground. Even to the last moment, you mustered the last bit of energy to increase the projection of your shield and received the last brunt of the blast from the explosion.

That’s when you collapsed back onto the ground. Steve immediately went to pick you up while Bucky helped the young boy. Your eyes were half closed as Steve could see that you tried to stay awake but eventually fatigue must have gotten the best of you.

“Y/N!” Steve tried calling out you to ensure that you were alright. Holding you securely bridal style, Steve made sure to bring you back to the jet fast.

Steve’s memory then went back to the moment where you looked like you were crying. In his fit of anger after you dared to talk back for the first time, he decided to throw out a punishment to put you in your place.

Steve didn’t realise the impact of his words when you stared back with glossy eyes. You had an unreadable expression but Steve was sure you were upset. When you reached out to take out your IV drip, Steve panicked at your sudden actions.

He tried to stop you from leaving, he knew that you were still weak considering that you were knocked out for a whole day. When you said you couldn’t stand to be around Steve, Steve swore his heart sunk for a moment.

How were you able to have such an effect on him?

Then you walked out of your ward, asking Tony to order cheeseburgers. Steve didn’t know whether to scoff or laugh at that moment. Of course, you will do that after waking up from losing consciousness in the field.

When Steve walked into you and Bucky dancing, he started to experience a strange feeling. What could possibly be an endearing sight didn’t sit well with him. Steve saw how happy you were in Bucky’s company and how Bucky looked the same.

Steve knew Bucky rarely acted so carefree in front of others but always somehow looked visibly relaxed in your presence. He always known you two had got along well but somehow the sight in front of Steve only made him feel bitter.

Why do you keep everyone close but only him at bay? Steve’s hopes for you were only further dashed when you decided to skip dinner, knowing that you had to be in the same room as him. Did he really made you hate him that much?

Steve only wanted what’s best for you, he thought he could had lost you in the fire. When he saw you could still joke around after almost tossing your life aside, an anger started building inside him. How could you still be so cheerful when he was here worried sick about you?

When Steve saw you eating dinner alone past midnight, his heart sunk at the sight. He didn’t want you to hide from him forever. Yes, it’s fine if you do not want to see him but you should not be deprived from being around the rest of team.

The next week had you finishing reports and helping out with other people’s paperwork. You were positive that you were going to break down from the sheer boredom of it all.

You decided to bring your laptop around to do your work instead of being bounded by your desk. This got you to be creative in the many spaces you can choose to work in among the large grounds of the compound. The only condition was that Steve was not going to be there.

You began with working in the common room but it was too lonely with everyone else to do their own things in the afternoon.

You then moved to occupying a small desk in Tony’s lab. You found his company enjoyable as you tried to multi-task between typing and gossiping. However, when one of Tony’s experiments nearly caused you to be fried by an electrical outburst, you decided to scout for another workspace.

You then crashed your team’s training room and decided to do your work in a corner of the room. You were slightly irritated when Friday informed you that you were not allowed to return to training under Steve’s orders when you entered the room.

You were positively fuming and humiliated while your friends looked at you with pitiful eyes when they heard it too.

How dare he! To think you were felt bad when you listened to Bucky’s defense of Steve. Turning your feet, you decided to leave the room when you were suddenly pushed back by a collision with a big mass.

You fumbled as you nearly dropped your laptop but someone beat you to it.

“Thank you-” You spoke gratefully before you looked up to meet the eyes of the one person you vehemently wanted to avoid.

Steve had a look of surprised as he realised that he bumped into you while you looked on at him with annoyance. Seriously, you thought Friday had told you that he was in a meeting!

“Y/N-” Steve tried to break the silent exchange but you were not having any of it.

“Jerk.” You countered in greeting before you pushed past him to walk out of the door.

Steve looked over to see his friends on the training grounds who witnessed the hostile exchange. Most of them tried to maintain neutral expressions but Bucky was the only who gave him a look that said, ‘Go after her punk!’.

You started stomping your way to the elevator so that you can return to your own room. What a bad day, you thought as you shook your head.

“Y/N!” Your ears perked up at the call of your name and you started to panic when you realised that Steve was calling after you.

Looking back, Steve was taking long strides to catch up with you. Without much thought, you didn’t know why you started to make a sprint for the elevator doors and started punching the button as if it could make it arrive faster. You really did not want to deal with him at this moment.

To your relief, the elevator came onto your floor within a few seconds and you immediately threw yourself in and asked Friday to quickly close the doors.

“Friday! Hurry up, please!” Hearing your words, Steve quickly countered your instructions.

“Friday, hold the door for me!” Your eyes widened when the seemingly closing doors started to back up and open for Steve.

“Oh come on! Friday, I asked first!” You whined when Friday informed you that Steve outranks you and hence, she had to follow his instructions instead. Why is she such a stickler?

Thinking fast, you decided that you could still exit the elevator before Steve came in.

Oh, how foolish were you to think you could outrun Steve Rogers?

You were enhanced but not one of your powers included superhuman agility. Steve grabbed you by your shoulders and nudged you back into the steel and glass box.

As the elevator started moving, there was only the sound of your panting and you thought you could burn a hole on the floor with how intensely you tried to stare down and not at Steve.

“Hey, Y/N. Please listen to me, alright. Don’t leave.” His voice was earnest and felt yourself weakened, you gave in and decided to look up into his crystal blue eyes. You swore he was staring into your soul and you realised that it was much too intense.

You tore your eyes away from his and tried to look anywhere else. Two hands then came to rest on the side of your face and held you in place.

Adrenaline was rushing through your veins at the most intimate interaction you ever had with Steve and you could hear your heart beating wildly. Taking a nervous gulp down your throat, you were waiting to see what Steve was going to do.

When Steve was sure he had your attention, he then spoke.

“Look, I’m sorry. I know I have crossed the line the other day but-” Steve suddenly paused and appeared in deep thought to continue his next sentence.

“I never want to hurt you. I never meant to. I’m just so frustrated.”

“About what?” You were surprised that you could say anything. Your arms clutched your laptop tightly to your chest as if it could act as wall between you and Steve.

“About how you can easily say that you would risk your life on a whim. Why?” Looking back at Steve with tears in your eyes, you started recalling an old memory.

“When I was a SHIELD agent, I was on a mission to save a hostage. My team took out the guards and I was supposed to get her out.”

“The guard set the place for self-destruction, they didn’t care of what they left behind. I couldn’t find her room in time. Phil pulled me out as the walls are collapsing, he knew I would be buried along with her if I didn’t get out.” Your voice came out trembling. Steve then moved his hands from your face to the sides of your shoulders, holding you close in comfort.

“I can still hear her screams, Steve. I was so close to finding her, if only I had another minute….” You looked up at him once more, a single tear falling down your cheek while you tried to refrain yourself from breaking down completely.

“If I had been faster, stronger, I could save her. She was only nine. She was abducted because she was enhanced and they were going to exploit her for her powers….” Shoulders slumped, you let yourself fall to the ground on your knees as you felt a sense of weight off your shoulders.

Steve observed you for a moment before joining you on the floor, he reached out to take your laptop from your hands and placed them on the ground.

“I’m sorry, I now understand.” Steve gathered you in his arms and you allowed yourself to return the same gesture.

As you closed your eyes, you felt several more tears falling and leaving wet spots on Steve’s sweater. You tightened your grip and you heart skipped several beats when you felt him doing the same.

“It’s not your fault, Y/N. You tried your best.” You could feel the rumble of Steve’s chest as he spoke and you sought comfort in the warmth he provided.

“You did a good job. You always do.” Steve used his thumb to wipe of the tears off your face and gave you one of his beautiful boy-ish smiles.

“I’m so glad you returned to me-us safely.” Why do you feel heat rushing to your cheeks when he said that? Why does he suddenly seem so wonderful at this moment?

Your mind started whirling at how Steve’s words and actions managed to tug at your heartstrings? What was happening?

“Lives are lost every day during the fight but I don’t know if I will take it if you were gone. You are an important member of the team.” Steve’s words stroke a chord within you and you weren’t sure of what to say in return.

You decided to nod in understanding and Steve took well to your response. What happened next took you off guard as Steve leaned in to press his lips on the side of your temple.

Steve now knew the reason behind your actions and he was angry at himself for judging you too quickly. How you managed to survive in this line of work with such softness and vulnerability baffled him.

Such emotions might be viewed as weak but Steve recognised this to be a source of strength, for you do not fight to kill but help others in need. That’s why Steve had not regretted his decision to bring you into the team, you embodied the very essence of being an Avenger.

Unknowingly to Steve yet, you also have grown to be someone important to him as well.  Someone he hoped that will stay by his side for a long time.

———————————————————————

“You know this is an infringement of privacy, right?” Natasha spoke as everyone gathered to look at the hologram screen that Tony put up in the training room. Steve and you had stood up to leave the elevator with smiles on both of your faces.

Steve had his arm around your shoulders as he led you out while you smiled adoringly at him.

Tony shrugged as he justified his actions. “Hey, had to make sure they didn’t kill each possible, am I right?”

“That’s least likely unless you are talking about these two here.” Natasha nodded to Sam and Bucky who stood side by side.

“Man, it seems I like I’m watching a romantic soap. Gross.” Tony waved off the screen before walking off.

Everyone dispersed soon after while Bucky continued to stand still at his original spot as he stared off into where the screen once was.

Seemed a lot like love, Bucky thought as he witnessed the development between his best friend and the girl that managed to find a way into his pal’s heart.

———————————————————————

[sylvie-writes]

Exhausting yet Fun

Request: hey it’s my birthday on the 5th and I was wondering if I could request a fic/hc about Steve? Maybe there was a surprise party that the team put together for the reader and there were games and all that. Don’t feel pressured to do this though, I completely understand. Thank you anyways! @marvelfanatic16

Hiya hon! I really wanted to write this for you, so here’s my early present to you hehe! Happy Early Birthday!!! (I would’ve queued this but why not post it now?) 

So sorry if this is bad and/or not what you wanted. I’m preparing for school soon and my brain is already in shambles. I just really wanted to give you this!

The title tho..

“Babe, wake up.” Steve gently shook your shoulder, whispering in an attempt to wake you up. 

This morning you and Sam went for a run after you lost a bet the other day. 

“So if the team likes my mac n cheese better, you and I are gonna go running.” 

“Keep dreaming, Sammy.” You patted Sam’s shoulder, confidently walking away with a hot pot of mac n cheese, your grandmother’s recipe. There was absolutely no way you would lose. 

“Sam, is that bacon!” - Bucky

“Oh my god, this tastes like liquid gold with pieces of heavenly bacon.” - Tony

“Don’t break up with me darling, but the bacon is killerrrr.” - Steve

Famous last words- “There was absolutely no way you would lose.” 

Needless to say, you and Sam had shaken on that deal, there was no turning back. 

So this morning from 3am to 6am Sam had you running, jogging, sprinting. Whatever you’d like to call it, bottom line, it was painful. 

To make matters worse it was your birthday and no one had said a single word yet. 

It’s not like you were trying to be vain or anything, but one day out of the year, it’s nice to feel loved!

As soon as torture time was over, you hopped in a car and headed back to the compound. 

Maybe it should’ve been an ambulance

Sam dropped you off at the front before driving off once again. Where was he going at 6:30 in the morning?

You had no clue and if you weren’t exhausted you would’ve bugged him about it.

Moopping to the bathroom, you started a hot shower, grabbing epsom salt for your jelly-like legs. 

It’s not that you were physically inactive, no, it was the fact that Sam has suddenly started to run faster, almost catching up to Steve and Bucky’s speed. Come to find out they’ve been training him.   

At 7:45 am, now clean and fresh, yet still tired, you crawled back into bed. Steve’s light snores signaling he was still out like a log. Or so you thought.

Turning on your side, your back to Steve, you shut your eyes, until you felt warm hands on your shoulder.

Just as you were about to turn, Steve shushed you. 

“Shhh, just go to sleep, doll.” 

His sleepy morning voice was groggy but adorable. You could tell he was just as sleepy yet he still continued to lightly massage your shoulders, sending you to sleep. 

Now, it was 1 pm and Steve was trying to wake you.

It was a plan.

Last night, the mac n cheese.

Everyone had come together to conspire a plan for your birthday. They all knew you were never one to back down from a challenge. So when opportunity presented itself, they gladly took it.

In reality, your mac n cheese would’ve won had not everyone decided to let Sam win, now enabling them to have time to plan for your surprise party. 

While Sam took you on the longest route in hopes of tiring you out, the team rested, knowing very well you’d sleep for hours into the afternoon.

When Sam had dropped you off, little did you know that he was going to get your party decorations and cake.

Andddd while you were sleeping, Steve and the rest of the team decorated the compound. 

Your eyes slowly fluttered open as you turned on your back to see a showered and dressed Steve sitting on the edge of the bed.

“Can I help you, sir?” 

Steve chuckled and then grabbed your hands, tenderly helping you out of the bed, holding you upright as you were still trying to wake up. 

Reaching behind you, he grabbed a fresh cup of coffee, which you happily took, the warmth of the steam hitting your face, a bliss feeling. 

“To answer your question, when you're ready, get dressed and meet me in my office.”

A kiss on your cheek and he was gone, and out the door.

Slightly confused, you finished your coffee and left to go get ready. 

At 1:43 pm exactly, you walked out of the bedroom and towards the elevator, taking the route to Steve’s office which was two floors above you. 

Once again, little did you know, Steve really just wanted you to deliberately miss the kitchen and common room, where the rest of the team resided with all the decorations and games. 

It was an annual thing with the team to have a game nice once or twice every month. You all played games from Uno, Battleship, Apples to Apples. 

You name it, you played it.

Well, an all time favorite was monopoly, where you all would get on teams and see who’d have the most property and money at the end. A game Tony was terrible at playing. 

Soooo they had it for your birthday! 

Board games with the team were absolutely hilarious. 

You’d all play mario kart but last time that happened, this got a little out of hand, literally. *ahem Natasha* 

She may or may not have tried to rip off Bucky's metal arm…

You opened the door to Steve’s office and he immediately jumped up from his desk, totally not fiddling with something in his hand. 

He shoved the thing in his pocket and nervously chuckled walking up to you. 

“You look gorgeous as always.” He held out his arm and you looped yours within, curious as to why you were leaving the office when you had just shown up.

In the elevator, you could tell Steve was nervous, his foot slightly tapping.

“Are you okay, Grant?” 

Grant- a term of endearment you’d always use for Steve. 

Unlocking his eyes from the floor, he looked at you and smiled, like he was relieved. 

“Definitely.” Steve pecked your lips and escorted you out of the elevator as the door opened up.

Upon entering, you rounded the corner and to the common room, in which the lights were off. 

You almost went to turn on the lights when they shot on and the team popped up from their hiding places. 

Startled, you jumped onto Steve as he and the team laughed, you joining in on the laughter. 

“Happy Birthday, (y/n)!!!!” 

You walked forward and smiled gleefully, your cheeks were hurting from smiling so much but it was impossible not to. 

“Guys-you didn’t have to do all this for me.” Your hand covered your mouth as you took in all of their lovely work. Wanda came up and hugged you, the other team members coming up to do the same.

“Of course we did! We love you, (y/n).” 

At Wanda’s statement you just hugged her tightly and let out happy tears.

This team- well your family! They have shown you so much love, how could you not cry? It was a nice feeling to feel loved and appreciated. 

Soon after all the salutations, Steve put his hand on the small of your back leading you to the kitchen, where the lights were also off. 

The team followed suit, Tony telling F.R.I.D.A.Y to turn on the lights. 

The relaxing ambiance of yellow lights, shown on a beautiful birthday cake. 

One Sam had gone to pick up from your favorite bakery, which when you later found out and hugged him to death. 

Too caught up in the cake you hadn’t even noticed Steve until he spoke up, the team all standing around with their phones, you looked at them and then down at your boyfriend, on his knee. 

Steve’s hand was shaking as he held out a box, and you just wanted to soothe his nerves. 

He was so adorable you just smiled sweetly at him as if telling him to proceed. 

“Doll, (y/n), I love you so much, you’ve been here for me, you are loyal, loving, and funny. My best friend, and I don’t know what I’d ever do without you. Will you do me the honor of making me the happiest man alive by marrying me?” 

His little speech was just the cutest and you vigorously shook your head. The ring slipped perfectly on your finger.

Steve stood up and you flung your arms around his neck as he swung you in a circle.

Setting you down, Steve then leaned in for a kiss, the team cheering you on.

The excitement of the proposal was the main topic over the delicious cake, the team already preparing for your wedding.

After cake, Tony giddily whipped out Monopoly, already predicting his win, the total opposite of what actually happened. 

Let’s just say that Tony can never. ever. be the banker again. 

To end your lovely birthday, you and the team sat around on the couch, watching a comedy Bucky had found. 

Joyful laughter filled the room as you looked down at your ring, smiling. Sighing blissfully then leaning into Steve’s arm. 

This indeed had been the best birthday, the team succeeding in their mission. 

These people were definitely your family and this man beside you, your husband to-be. 

[ftb-writes]

And the truth is revealed! I was waiting to post the Marvel fic for Captain Steve Rogers's birthday! Happy Birthday, OG Cap! And the next fic will be Skyrim!

No, but in all actuality, everyone. This was a really difficult fic for me to write, purely because it dealt with some darker themes, and very heavy-handedly. I had trouble writing this 'What if?' fic because it was so dark, and right from the get go. I had to put it down for a couple days at a time as I was writing. So, before you go into this, a few warnings. There is a bit of body horror, though I tried not to get too detailed. There is child death. There is implied (though not *directly* witnessed by the characters) torture. Of both adults and children. Admittance to suicide ideation. Implied cannibalism, and something that ended up sounding like a weird, pseudo-magical prion disease. Implied (though not stated) sexual torture/abuse. This fic is very dark. Please, proceed with caution.

*Please. Please, sir; kill me.

** Thank you.

It is dank in the cramped cellar-turned-laboratory of the crumbling Erskine estate. The age of the damp air hits Steven like a steam train. He chokes on the smell of death and rot wrapping cloyingly around him and the other Avengers. Next to him, Sam and Bucky are gagging, and he hears Tony curse quietly. For once, Steve lets the foul-mouthed inventor be -- the stench is bringing bile to the back of his throat.

The lights don't flick on, despite all the others in the abandoned estate working, and Steve sighs as he flicks the switch up and down a few times ineffectually. The agents with them silently pull out torches. Steve feels his mouth from a grim line as the artificial light washes away the perceived innocence of his old friend.

Abraham had shelves of jars lining the walls, all filled with formaldehyde and bits of human tissue, organs, even a whole fetus suspended in one. The cells on the other side of the ring of light the agents wield are rusty and blood-stained, and have rotting remains still trapped inside. Steve can't bring himself to look at the rib bones jutting up.

As they make their way deeper, the team quickly discovers that the celler opens up into a much larger space -- larger than was reported. They split up and begin to look around, and both the Avengers and the agents accompanying them are horrified by some of the remains they are finding. No one comments on how young the victims all are.

Steve steps around a shelf and notices another victim, this one tacked to the wall and opened up like an anatomical doll. He feels himself heave, and only just avoids puking. There's still some form, but she's mostly sludge by this point. It would have been a gruesome way to go.

To his horror, the girl lifts her head, and Steve chokes on a scream that threatens to tear out of him.

"Bitte," the little girl wheezes. "Bitte, Herr; Töte mich."*

Steve doesn't realize he's crying until after he's fired. He hears one of the nearby agents uttering a prayer for her. "This was a mistake," he tells the team. "We shouldn't be here. This place should have been left to hell."

No one responds.

A few minutes later -- and Steve's morbidly relieved none of the other victims still live -- Bucky mutters a curse of his own. "Stevie, you'll want to see this. Can I get a medic over here?"

Steve weaves his way around shelves, cells, and even a chain-covered operating table. Bucky motions him over to one of the cells, and Sam is just breaking the lock.

Inside the cage is Johann Schmidt, bound, bloodied, and bare. He barely reacts to their presence, but Steve can still see the small flinch. The German isn't looking at any of them, staring out the opposite side of the cell into the dark.

It's Steve's turn to swear. "Get a blanket," he tells the medic that's arrived. As they hurry off, Steve cautiously climbs in with Schmidt and starts cutting away the ropes.

"He's still alive," the German whispers. "Erskine. The fools used the wrong bullet."

"He's delirious," Sam huffs.

"That monster did all this," Schmidt continues, as if Sam hadn't spoken. "And now he's going to do it all to you, Rogers. You should not have come."

The medic returns at that moment, and Steve takes the offered blanket and wraps Schmidt up, before carefully lifting him. "What do you mean?"

"He's still down here," Schmidt breathes.

All the torches go out simultaneously. One of the agents yelps, and then gurgles. Schmidt begins to shiver.

"Please," he whispers. "Shoot me. I can't-"

Steve sets the German on his feet and draws his gun, but catches Schmidt as his legs give out. To see the once proud founder of HYDRA helpless -- Steve doesn't dare think what must have happened to him down here, alone and in the dark.

"Can you walk?" Steve asks, and Schmidt shakes his head.

"Can't feel my legs," Schmidt grunts, and Steve hates the spike of pity and fear that lurches through him.

"I'm going to get you out of here," Steve murmurs.

"I'm a dead man, Rogers. Finish the job and save yourselves. He's not even human anymore."

"What-" Steve starts to ask, and a massive black shape lurches out of the darkness and sinks long claws into the flesh of Schmidt's thigh.

The German screams, and as Steve empties the rest of the magazine into the thing's face, Schmidt pulls the shield free and slams it into the beast's chest. Sam and Bucky are shouting.

"I don't want to be hurt again," Schmidt wimpers, just loud enough for Steve to hear.

He reloads as best as he can one handed -- there's no way he's letting Schmidt go now -- and fires directly into the thing's wrist. It howls, but releases Schmidt and Steve scoops the German up and runs.

He can hear the thing barreling along behind him, whatever it is. Steve hadn't gotten a good look at it, but it reeks of decay, with a bleached skull for a face, and thick, dark fur. It looks like something out of a bad horror film, only real, and Steve can hear agents behind him screaming, and his team calling directions to the exit. Schmidt is sobbing like a child in his arms.

Somehow, in the dark, Steve manages to find the doorway, stumbles up the stairs, out of the cellar. Peter is right behind him, no doubt shoved ahead by Tony, and right behind Peter is the inventor himself. The rest of the Avengers make it out all right, but they've lost most of the agents, and the medic that had brought Steve the blanket. Thor slams the door shut, and the silence is deafening. The group slowly makes their way out to the trucks, stumbling over their own feet as the adrenaline wears off.

In the bright, summer light, Dr. Banner begins to look over Schmidt's wounds, and Steve asks about that beast.

"They have many names; none should be spoken aloud. They eat us mortals, Rogers. Erskine is a monster now. I came -- I was looking for signs of my son. For his sake, I hope the boy's long dead. I -- He-"

Bruce shushes him gently. "Once we get Erskine cleared out, you can search for his remains."

"Danke," Schmidt murmurs, "but he's probably been eaten."**

Steve shakes his head. "I'm so sorry," he tells Schmidt, and means it. "How long had Erskine been torturing people? When he-?"

"Even before he left Germany," Schmidt whispers. "That's why -- I wanted everyone to see what me and the others saw. They're all buried around out here, now. I'm the only one left."

"The others?" Steve prompts.

Schmidt swallows thickly. "When the Nazis were financing the super soldier program, and they had just signed Erskine on, there were about fifty-seven other kids that had been shipped out here. For… experimentation. I happened to be the most fitting candidate. So he didn't kill me, but I wish he had. I suffered so much under his thumb. Am still suffering."

"Other kids," Sam asks. "What do you mean, other kids?"

Schmidt looks at them in shock. "You mean, you didn't know? No one over there knew?"

"Knew what?" Steve hands him a bottle of water, and Schmidt sips from it before he answers.

"Rogers, I was only fifteen during the war. Three years younger than you. I was selected because I'd been an orphan for most of my life by that point. I arrived when I was, I'm not sure, maybe eight? By twelve, I already wanted to die." Schmidt seems concerned. "Did none of SHIELD really know how old I was?"

"No," Steve sighs, and he feels guilty now. If he'd known all of this during the war, he would have tried at least a little bit harder to de-escalate things between him and Schmidt. Maybe, the German might have been talked out of world domination. But then again, if he'd known all this during the war, a lot of things would have been different.

"I can see those sad puppy dog eyes from over here, Rogers. I assure you, nothing you could have said at that point would have stopped me. As I said, I wanted to die. At least as the Red Skull, no one would hurt me."

Before Steve can think of a response, Schmidt clears his throat. "We should come up with a plan. Before it gets dark. Things like that can't come out during the day. However, once it gets dark…"

Peter raises his hand quietly, as if trying to ask a question in school. "I'd rather not be eaten thanks," he admits, "I have a math test next week."

Schmidt laughs, surprisingly. "A good head on his shoulders, Junior," he says to Tony. "Now, do any of you have silver bullets?"

One of the remaining agents laughs, but as Schmidt silently turns his attention toward the agent, they realize no one else is laughing. The chuckles awkwardly trail off. No one actually answers Schmidt.

"Well then, the best thing we can do is leave to get some, and try to make it back before sundown. Otherwise he might just run off, and we'll never see him again."

"I'll go," Steve offers. "The rest of you, stay here and make sure he doesn't leave. Schmidt, you want to come with me?"

Schmidt hesitates, obviously a bit uncomfortable, but he shrugs and nods. "I'd rather be as far away from -- the thing Erskine has become as possible."

"We'll take care of it," Steve promises Schmidt, as the two climb into one of the trucks. "That thing, whatever it is, isn't natural. That's for sure."

"No." Schmidt shifts in the seat, clearly trying to get more comfortable while also favoring his injured leg. "No, it's not."

[wizardnuke]

you’re making me cry with these arc reactor posts 😭😭 did you get any good fic recommendations? if so, could you link them?

hi!! this is SO late but I made a list of my favorites!! they're all wildly different in terms of genres and ships and stuff. they're mostly hurt/comfort but that's all I've got. these are in no particular order

One of Those Days by kerravon

The arc reactor, despite being a technical marvel, is quite invasive. There have to be side effects to its presence in Tony's chest beyond the now-resolved Palladium poisoning. The team are about to find out just how debilitating it can be. This would be easier if Tony didn't feel the compulsion to hide the fact that he's sick. Misunderstandings all around, especially given Stark's reputation.

Division of the Heart by TylerM

Tony Stark is sick.

Surely that's not going to be a problem? When he doesn't tell the team a normal cold is a little more complicated with the Arc Reactor, things get a little out of hand.

There's A Hole Where My Heart Used to Be (I Want it Gone) by nightwalker

Tony has issues and an arc reactor and he never thought he'd get rid of either.

They Don't Know Where We Come From by ladyflowdi

“Shrapnel,” Tony says, and alarms go off around his ears and he can’t breathe and the pain is going to eat him up from the head down. “In my heart. I made it. Not the shrapnel. ...Well. The shrapnel too.

Till Human Voices Wake Us, and We Drown by Blossomsinthemist

Tony still has nightmares, and it drives him crazy, because he should be done with this, it should be over, but it's not, and he can't control how they make him feel. Luckily, Steve understands a little bit about how that goes. Established relationship.

and possibly i like the thrill by queerlyobscure

Despite knowing that the arc reactor is a marvel of technology and a life-saving piece of equipment, Tony hates it sometimes. He hates that it makes him visible, and vulnerable, and a danger to his team, and he maybe even hates that Steve has to see it all the time. Steve loves it for all the reasons Tony doesn't, and he's determined to show him how much it doesn't matter to him.

It Only Hurts (When I Breathe) series by Ocean_Born_Mary

Tony could see the mass of scar tissue built up around the reactor, could see the little pieces of shrapnel in his lungs, and he wondered, even now, how he was able to Not-Breathe so well with his heart and his ribs and his lungs all squished out of place.

Arc Tremors by MountainRose

Tony's light had flickered out in the aftermath of the fight with the Chitauri, but his team was there and, hey, he'd just been to space, give a guy some slack. The next morning they accepted, but when he collapses weeks later, they're not going to let him brush it off again, and neither is JARVIS.

Kludged Together by Veldeia

When he cut his morning jog short to join Tony Stark on a reconnaissance mission off the East Coast, Steve sure wasn’t expecting to end up stuck on a life raft in the middle of the ocean, his hand knuckle-deep in Stark's chest.

Pink Is the Color of ...? By Annehiggins

The new element Tony created for his arc reactor core responds to his moods. Once the other Avengers move into the Tower they quickly figure out what all the colors mean. Except one – pink.

Deep Waters by AlchemyAlice

His power's running low, the arc reactor flickering. Cold, rancid sewer water is rushing into the fissure at his torn up shoulder, filling up the gaps, rising along his neck in frigid fingers. He's been like this before.

Proof that Tony Stark Has a Heart (and is Also an Idiot) by TunaFishChris

Tony Stark is the most egotistical, self-centered, arrogant, narcissistic, immature Avenger on the team. Right?

The Song Without Words by Lelantus

Everyone knew what happened when soulmates touched each other. Whether it was hands clasping together, fingers brushing across a jaw, or lips meeting in a kiss - it didn’t matter. Any skin-to-skin contact and chests started glowing with soft, white-blue light. Soul-light, it was called.

Tony woke up in a cave in Afghanistan with a hole in his chest and wires coming out of it and felt his blood run cold. He knew instinctively what it meant. He’d lost his ability to produce a soul-light. And so no matter how much he yearned for it in the secret, hidden corners of his heart, Tony would never find his soulmate.

The Arc Ain't All That by MountainRose

Tony doesn't know why they make such a fuss.

Night Light by WeebDa

"I don't understand, what do you want from me? I've fed you, I've changed you, I've rocked you, I've turned you on your belly, heck I've even sang for you but you're still crying. Come on, talk to me, munchkin," Tony begged rocking Peter and walking around the penthouse of the Avengers tower.

The Hiccups Are No Laughing Matter by orphan account

Excerpt: See, when you have something like the arc reactor lodged in your chest and your diaphragm suddenly tries to push your lungs into space that doesn’t exist, hiccups abruptly jump out of the 'annoyingly amusing' category and right into the 'really fucking painful' one.

(aka - That time Tony gets the hiccups and freaks everyone out)

In the Company of Friends by DarkestSight

Tony wakes up feeling like crap and finds himself longing for the time he lived alone and it was a lot easier to get a simple cup of coffee.

and you're out by Zekkass

A villain kidnaps Tony and removes his arc reactor and Steve's the one to rescue him. Tony proceeds to try and deal with this. Steve tries not to think about the gaping hole he saw in Tony's chest.

remember to leave comments and kudos!!

[abundanceofsoph]

SkyFire 2: Chapter 5

Tattoos, Amputations and Art: April 2016

Word count: 2.3k

PART 1

SkyFire 2 MASTERLIST

CW/TW this chapter involves and amputation surgery although there are no explicit details

>Instagram posts

A week before the surgery, Aurora and Harry were curled up in bed.

“Rori? I’ve had an idea.”

“Why does that sentence make me worried,” Rori joked.

“Yeah, ha ha, you’re hilarious,” Harry deadpanned. “Shut up I’m trying to be cute.”

“Oh, sorry dear.” She replied with a mockingly serious tone. “Please proceed.”

Harry rolled his eyes at her. “I was thinking we could go get tattoos together before your surgery next week.”

“Oooh, that sounds like fun.” She grinned over at him from where her head lay on his pillow. “It’s been so long since we got tattooed together. I don’t know what I’d get though, I’m pretty happy with the ones I’ve got.”

Harry peeled back the bedsheet covering her torso, tracing his fingers across the familiar ink spreading out across her rib cage. “Well I was thinking maybe we could your IronMan and Cap one redone on your other wrist since you’ve mentioned a couple of times that you miss it.”

“Oh harry,” she sighed. “That sounds perfect.”

“Just thought that way you’d still be keeping a part of your left hand with you.”

“I love when you get all sentimental,” she said, kissing the tip of his nose. “What are you gonna get?”

Harry blushed. “Thought I might get a palm tree after our trip to St Lucia.”

“It really was beautiful there wasn’t it?”

“Yeah it was,” he agreed, smiling softly as his hand traced the skin of her hip. “Maybe we should go back for our honeymoon.”

“I’d love that.” She lifted herself up on her elbow to look down at him, leaning in to kiss him deeply as his hands moved to grab at her waist, pulling her closer to him. She burst out laughing as she lost her balance and fell on top of him. His laughter echoed hers before their lips reconnected.

xXx

Aurora found herself in a tattoo parlour the following afternoon, her right arm stretched out for the artist sitting in front her. She was smiling softly as she watched him ink in the familiar design that was now nearly unrecognisable on her other wrist. While she’d never thought of replicating the tattoo, she was glad that Harry had suggested it and that he was sitting in the chair next to her, just as he had been the first time she received the tattoo in question. She looked up from her own artwork, to watch Harry’s palm tree come to life above his elbow. He caught her eye, smiling widely back at her. Since his piece was simple black and white line work, his artist finished much sooner that hers and after he was cleaned up and the tattoo wrapped, he scooted over to sit beside her, his hand resting on her elbow, unable to hold her hand due the brace.

“Looks good, love,” he said when the artist finished, quickly cleaning and wrapping the plastic around her wrist.

“Thank you for suggesting I do this,” Aurora whispered, pecking a soft kiss to his lips. “Feels right to have it back again.”

xXx

When they got back to the tower with their new tattoos, Aurora headed downstairs to the workshop while Harry joined Steve and Bucky in the living room where they were watching TV.

“Hey kiddo,” Tony said in greeting when Aurora walked through the glass door. “How’s the new tattoo?”

“Perfect,” Rori smiled, pulling out her phone to show him the photo Harry had taken before it was covered in plastic. “Looks just like the original.”

“Love it,” Tony replied.

“Can I ask a favour dad?”

“Of course, you can kiddo. What’s up?”

“Would it be ok if just Harry comes with me to the hospital next week?” Aurora asked. “I’m ok with you and pops both being there when I get out of surgery, but I think I’d just like Harry to be there before I go in.”

“Of course,” Tony replied. “Whatever you need.”

“Thanks dad.”

xXx

Aurora was sitting up in the hospital bed, a light blanket pulled up over her legs, a sheer hospital gown covering her torso. One of the nurses had come by earlier to help remove the brace and all the taping from her hand and it was now propped up on a pillow in her lap as she waited, scar tissue covering every inch of visible skin, her fingers curled up uncomfortably. She ran the fingers of her right hand along the scars, tracing them from the tips of her fingers, over the back of her hand and up past her wrist before flipping her hand over and touching every inch of her palm. She started crying softly as she mapped the familiar expanse of skin, unsure what it would feel like to look down and see nothing when she woke up again later that day.

“It’s not too late to change your mind,” Harry whispered, wiping her tears away with the pads of his thumbs as he sat next to her on the edge of the bed.

She shook her head, looking up to meet his eyes. “This is the right thing to do, just confronting to think I won’t have a hand in a few hours.”

“You are so brave,” Harry told her. “I love you so much.”

“I love you too Harry,” she replied. “Wouldn’t have made it this far without you.” He kissed her cheek, reaching out and taking hold her right hand in his. She watched him lace their fingers together, the light catching on her engagement ring. She knew that she would have to take it off shortly before she went into the OR, but she left it on for now. “You know,” she murmured, staring at the ring. “I’d kind of figured that by the time we got to the wedding this would be on my left hand where it belongs.”

Harry squeezed her hand, placing kisses to her temple. “Doesn’t matter which hand it’s on,” he replied. “Still means the same thing.”

“I’m scared Harry,” Aurora admitted, her eyes still firmly glued to the ring.

He placed his thumb and forefinger on her chin, lifting her head until she was looking at him. “I’m not going to lie and say that everything will be easy, but it will be ok. You’ve already survived the worst of it, and you are so strong. I’m gonna be right here waiting for you when you wake up.”

She kissed him deeply, his hand not holding hers coming to rest on her cheek, his thumb moving back and forth across her cheekbone as they both deepened the kiss. They both pulled apart when a nurse entered the room and cleared her throat. She blushed deeply when they both looked over at her, slightly out of breath. “I’m sorry to interrupt,” she said, “but we’re ready for you now Miss Stark.”

“See you soon, love,” Harry murmured. He kissed her again quickly before standing up and stepping back to allow the nurse to wheel Aurora from the room. Aurora slipped the ring from her finger and placed it in his palm.

“Keep this safe for me,” she told him.

“I love you, Aurora,” Harry said as she neared the door.

“Love you too, H” she replied.

xXx

A little over a week after the operation, Aurora made her way to the elevator. She was wearing a pair of dark grey leggings and one of Harry’s knitted sweaters, the oversized garment hanging off her shoulders and falling midway down her thighs. The right sleeve fell down to almost cover the tips of her fingers while the left sleeve swung freely at the end, her arm ending halfway along her forearm. The penthouse was empty as she crossed the living room, stepping into the elevator and telling JARVIS which floor she needed. The Avengers had all left the previous day on a mission, neither Steve nor Tony wanting to leave her, but both agreed to go once she reminded them that Harry would be there with her the entire time.

She made her way into the recording studio, smiling softly as she watched Harry working away with his new team. His long curls were swept back from his face by a pair of sunglasses perched on the top of his head, a loud Hawaiian shirt hanging off his shoulder, unbuttoned and swinging loosely as he sang. Aurora always loved watching Harry sing, relishing the way his dimples popped in his cheeks as he smiled, and the creases by his eyes crinkling. Happiness radiated off him when he was in the studio and Rori loved basking in it. No one had noticed her entrance and she lent against the door frame, soaking in the sounds of the unfamiliar song. Her lips quirked up and she bit back a laugh as she listened to the lyrics.

“Said I’m having your baby,” Harry sang. “It’s none of your business.”

“I think if I was having your baby it would be your business,” Aurora joked when the song petered out a few moments later.

Harry’s eyes snapped up to where she stood, he face lighting up. “I’d like to hope so,” he laughed, gesturing for her to join him. She crossed the room coming to a stop in front of him, but let out a surprised squeal when he reached out, grabbing her by the hips and pulling her onto his lap.

“Rude,” she laughed.

“Missed you,” he murmured into her ear before kissing her cheek. “You getting lonely upstairs with everyone gone.”

“A little,” Rori admitted. “But I also need your help. I’ve been trying to tie my hair up for the last half an hour, but I can’t get it up one handed.”

“Ponytail, Braid or Bun?” he asked, taking the hair tie from her hand as she spun around to face away from him.

“Whatever’s easiest,” Aurora replied. “Thinking I might try painting this afternoon and I just don’t want to get paint in it.”

Harry placed a kiss on her shoulder, trying to hide his excitement that she was finally feeling ready to venture back into her and Steve’s studio. He started combing his fingers through her hair before beginning to braid it down the centre of her head and down the back of her neck. “All done,” he declared a few minutes later once he snapped the hair tie into place.

“Thanks baby,” she smiled, leaning back against his chest when his arms wrapped around her waist.

“You’re welcome,” he said, kissing her shoulder again. “How are you feeling?”

“Better,” Rori replied. “Feeling less off balanced today and the stitches aren’t itching anymore.”

“Good.” He continued kissing across her shoulder, his chin coming to rest in the crook of her neck. “Promise you’ll tell me if it’s not, yeah?”

“Promise,” she replied, her right hand resting over his own. “Now sing for me.”

He laughed, but quickly fell back into the swing of working. She stayed there for a while  listening as they worked, occasionally offering up a suggestion here and there before leaving with a kiss to Harry’s forehead after an hour or so.

She slowly made her way out into the hallway, padding over the carpet barefoot until she reached the door to the art studio she shared with her Pops and pushed open the door. The sun was streaming through the window and she took a moment to admire the latest sketches that Steve had been working on since she’d last been down here. Before the shooting, barely a day went by that she hadn’t come down here, but she hadn’t step foot inside since the disastrous day in January.

She saw the half started canvas still on its easel over in the corner, drawing her in as if in challenge. It felt as though it was mocking her, a physical reminder of one of her lowest moments, an acknowledgment of her inability to do what she loved. She stood up straighter, setting her shoulders in determination before dragging the easel out to the middle of the room along with a stool to place her palette on and requesting JARVIS play one of her favourite playlists.

It was much later in the afternoon when Harry excused himself from the others and headed down the hall to check in on Aurora. Without realising it, he mirrored her earlier position, leaning against the door frame, smiling warmly as he watched the way her brow furrowed, and she held a paintbrush in her mouth while she splashed paint across the canvas with another. Knowing how much it had pained her to be without her art for months, he was over the moon to finally see her back in her element. Music was playing softly through the speakers in the ceiling, filling the studio with a peaceful atmosphere. Harry bit back a laugh as they current song ended, and the start of End of the Day played. He lost his battle over his laughter when Aurora started dancing on the spot while she painted, spinning around to face him with a soft blush on her cheeks.

“How long have you been standing there?” she asked, putting down her brushes when he walked across the room to kiss her.

“Long enough to know you’ve found your groove again.” He looked over her shoulder at the canvas, a sprawling countryside on a spring day filling the scene.

“You like it?” she asked, smiling softly.

Harry hummed in response as he continued taking in the details of the painting. “Getting late though,” he pointed out, looking towards the setting sun outside. “We were thinking of getting Pizza.”

“Why don’t you invite everyone upstairs for a movie night?” Rori asked, already walking over to the sink in the corner to clean her brushes out.

“I’ll go ask,” Harry said. “Meet you up there?”

“See you in a few,” she agreed.

NEXT CHAPTER

OR CONTINUE READING ON AO3

[supersoldiersruined-me]

Sinful Dance

A/N: This is my very belated challenge entry for @siren-kitten-his 2k followers challenge! Congrats again love! My prompt was the Lust sin. I took a different approach to my normal writing. The whole text is the same story, but cut into the five senses. Every other part changes pov between Bucky and reader.  Warnings: Pining? Dirty talk, swearing, implied sexual situations Word count: 3.7k Additional prompt: “Your lips are getting really close to mine.” from an ask.

Main Masterlist | Challenge Entries Masterlist

- Sight -

A squeaky door slides in front of him, indicating his arrival, fifteen minutes late to the monthly meeting. He grunts as he takes his place between Steve and Nat. A grumpy Tony sits at the end of the oval table, flipping through his binder, not paying any mind to the impatient crew around him. Neither Steve’s pen tapping nor Pepper’s shoulder nudge take him out of his focus. Focus that has the cold room feeling even more tense, and the people in it even more fed up of the eventful week behind them.

It’s a shy Peter Parker who breaks the silence, “Guys, I just really want to, um…”

“Queens, don’t sweat it.” With a captainesque smile, Steve proceeds to reassure him.

“We always have your back,” adds Carol over the hologram.

After a shared laugh over the poor boy’s mishap, the meeting goes on accordingly without too many interruptions. Notes over the new weapons and tech are handed, along with old-men jokes from Nat towards Steve and Bucky’s ever-so-astonished faces. The plans and maps from their regular intel seem to satisfy everyone; Bucky is the first up, ready to leave for a much needed shower and sleep. He stops short before Pepper can even begin to introduce what has a cold shiver running up his spine.

Standing there behind the glass doors, a young woman clothed of the prettiest silk blouse, tucked in a pencil skirt waits for her cue. She walks in, keeping her eyes on the ground as she takes a deep breath. He looks at her, at the way her hair waves over her shoulders. Preppy glasses frame her face and he’s ashamed to admit he wants to paint them with arousal. Weak in the knees, he retreats to his seat, the room suddenly closing on itself, becoming warmer by the second. Her shaking hands set a pile of paperwork in front of Tony for him to sign, then she straightens herself, hopeful eyes finally daring to look around the room. His insides shake; he wishes someone would strap him to the chair because he’s not sure how long he can handle himself before he’s gotta get his mouth on her. It’s grotesque. It’s new. He has no clue what took hold of him.

“This here is Y/N Y/L/N. Thank you, miss.” Tony nods her way as he flicks his pen open, his gaze running through the contracts. “If you have any orders to make for outfits, gear, what ever really, you go through her. And no funky shenanigans, please.” She smiles shyly and scans the room, brushing her nerves aside to make a good first impression. Bucky watches her wipe the palm of her hands over the jersey material of the skirt that’s so tightly hugging her bubbly behind. He wants them on his chest, his stomach, his thighs. He wants them around his d-

“James Barnes!” Nat whisper-screams into his ear, eyes shooting arrows at him. He has the nerve to look at her in wonder. Not concerned by the nature of her accusation. A chuckle on his left, the usual that comes before a snarky remark, finally has him realising something is genuinely wrong. 

“Thought your arm was the stiffest thing you owned. But dude,” Sam jokes around, his hand on his teammate’s shoulder as he slowly exits the room, saluting the young lady with a military wave.

Her eyes meet Bucky’s then, and she lets them fall down his features, until they grow wide at the bulge in his sweats. He’s ashamed, caught red handed as he flattens himself the best he can. He wants to run. But there’s a rope tying them together he just doesn’t know how to rip; doesn’t want to anyway. So he stays there in his chair, rolling so he’s at least facing the other way, and waits for everyone to leave before he can make a move.

- Smell -

The sun is down, enabling Y/N to relax and get ready for bed. She was given her room before they had finished renovating it, so apart from her bed sitting in a corner, she has to use the common facilities for another week or two. She walks out in nothing but a thick robe - a neat embroidery of her name sits over her left breast - and heads towards the gym’s bathroom with her toiletry bag. Her sleepiness has her walking through the wrong door and into the men’s room, which she only notices once she walks by the row of urinals against the left wall. She shrugs with a soft sigh, but proceeds. It’s late and who’d be around anyway?

The stalls are made of tall, expensive ceramic walls that even the supersoldiers can’t top. They have actual doors rather than cheap curtains. The only thing joining them is the small gap on the ground where the water runs to a single drain, and another about a foot down from the ceiling to allow the steam to dissipate. 

She turns the water on from the separate cubicle before taking off the robe and stepping in, letting the warmth soothe her tense muscles; she hadn’t thought this day would be as stressful as it has. She’s halfway through rinsing her hair when the door slams shut behind hurried footsteps. Her breath hitches in her throat. She freezes. It’s quiet for a minute until the water from the neighbour stall starts running. She stays under the stream, not saying a word and hopes she doesn’t get in trouble.

“Lavender?” His voice is deep and raspy. She’s not sure she heard this one yet. “Guess you forgot your stuff and had to take the samples, huh.” He adds a chuckle to his remark. She scuffs, thinking it would give her away if she laughed with him. 

The cap of his shampoo bottle snaps, and slowly the scent rushes through the room, through her senses, to finish its journey between her legs. It’s rich and spicy. A hint of teakwood lets her know this isn’t regular drugstore shampoo. He had it made for him. To fit his needs, to smell like the woods with a faint vintage charm. Only one man in the room earlier could enjoy such details.

Bucky. The man she had read about and researched. Twisted things about him she never understood seemed to be what fed her hunger. He had a je-ne-sais-quoi that drew her in. She’d managed to put it aside; closing books and web browsers was an easy task. Unlike her current situation.

Her body trembles at the scent. Her slick fingers begin to knead into her skin with a mighty need. He’d be the death of her if she didn’t leave the room quickly, but with her head resting on the wall between them, she lets her hand succumb to the craving. She focuses on the sound of his hands rubbing over his hard body. Of the soft hum of satisfaction when he passes over a sore spot. The image of his hard cock in his sweats surfaces. She had never seen something so big, never owned a toy that looked like him in the least. He’d be a new sensation she’d have to have once in her boring life.

She has to bite her cheek to stifle the moans that threaten to give her sinful actions away. Her fingers - now clean - squeeze into her core, pumping in sync with the motions of his hand on his dick that she pictures in her mind. She’s quickly building her orgasm; the inevitable cry of betrayal turning her on even more. She holds on as he turns the water off. As he ambles out of the room and she swears he’s trailing on purpose. When her thumb flicks over her clit just right, Bucky walks out (finally) and she falls to her knees, sitting on her feet with her forearm on the cold wall - her head rests on top of it as she bites down her climax. The soap makes it hard for her weak legs to keep steady as she attempts to get back up. Her hand reaches for the robe, too out of this world to care about drying first. She brings the thick material to her face, hiding her blush from herself as if it was going to erase what had just happened. She wouldn’t handle this much longer. What ever had her feeling this way needed to stop. Or did it?

- Hearing -

His heavy body drops to his bed, making the headboard smash onto the wall. A rather thin wall he shares with Steve - the poor boy. His mind fails to recall the last time he kept his friend from sleeping. Too long, he thinks. Much too long. Y/N comes to his mind then; her soft features and the faint darkening of her eyes at the sight of his appendage. The way her hair would feel between his fingers, bunched up as he had his way with her until they matted on her face. He knows he’ll never get a second chance with her. He’d blown it. So it’s him and his imagination against the odds, but tonight exhaustion has the best of him before he can venture his hand down his pants. He’d have a hard time rushing his blood to where he needs it anyway.

He’s up in a heartbeat the next morning, refreshed and feeling dapper. He walks out of his room covered in nothing but another pair of sinful sweatpants - commando, of course - and one of his tight sparring t-shirts. The smell of fresh coffee and burnt toast welcomes him into the kitchen area, where everyone seems to have settled for brunch. As usual, he’s the last to show up, but his serving along with his double mimosa wait in front of his assigned seat. Placed on its right is another flute of liquid sunshine, a small plate with a half-eaten croissant and a notebook stretched to its limit with notes and clippings and whatnot. He steps towards the table and sits. Y/N fills the seat beside him a minute later, acting casual with a little nod hello.

From the corner of his eye, Bucky notices the oversized white t-shirt she most likely wore to bed. He’s sure she’s wearing shorts but most of them are covered by her top, leaving her smooth legs on display. He’s salivating, and it has nothing to do with the thought of ravaging the pile of bacon. He dares turn around slightly. Just enough so to see her licking the excess chocolate that’s dribbling from the croissant onto her fingers. He forces his eyes shut, his fingers soon digging holes into the fabric of the chair. Then when he thinks he’s gained control, a whisper of a moan escapes her lips when the sweetness hits her tongue, proving once more his infuriating vulnerability. He grabs his plate and he’s up in a flash before his body betrays him again, almost knocking Wanda to the ground as he shuffles around the island. With a lamentable excuse, he disappears into the hall towards the living quarters.

The smell of barbeque lingers in the air as he steps onto the rooftop a couple hours later. He sets the yoga mat down by Bruce’s experimental garden; he had grown fond of this hideout over his healing process. He’s slowly winding down, breathing in and out like Nat had taught him. With a new draft of wind comes the scent of the flower pots that bathe in the sun next to him. He remembers the sweet smell of the flowers his mom kept around the yard; magnolia, lilac, lavender… Lavender?

His eyes scan the surroundings. Lavender doesn’t grow in pots, he reminds himself. He has a look around the yard, as if he didn’t know the place like the back of his hand. Curiosity has him on his feet and roaming around to find the source. He feels a pang to his guts when his sight falls onto Y/N. She’s sitting on a lounge chair, alone. Over the back of the chair he sees one of her legs folded over the armrest, the other is bent at the knee towards her chest. The same white shirt covers her top but her hair is now loose from the messy bun she sported earlier. He watches it dance as the wind carries through. He closes his eyes and it hits him; she was the mysterious man in the shower the night before.

His mind runs wild at the thought of her naked body. At the water running over her skin, tickling her every inch. Or the fact that she must have heard him relieve himself, the squishing of his movements unusually fast for someone who’s cleaning up. 

“Fuck,” he hears her clear as day; she just moaned the word out in the open. He’d walk closer if he didn’t have enhanced hearing. There’s another soft moan following and he’s going wild.

“B-Bu,” he shivers. “James, ah, please!” He stands there unable to move as he listens to her calling out his name. Her head falls back onto the chair and her other leg spreads out, mirroring the other. He curses himself because he can hear just how wet she is. He has to bite his lip to prevent his own begs from spilling out.

“So good,” she continues. Another finger slides by the others. He could tell she’s pumping fast with his eyes closed if he wanted, but seeing her shoulder bounce seems to prove he’s not so wicked after all. There is no mirage here and he’s on the verge of snapping his restraint. His sweats allow him extra room for his arousal but there’s no hiding it. His back rests on the brick wall of the staircase now. It’s cold and he needs it. Bad.

“I’m gonna,” No. Please don’t. “I’m gonna come Bucky,” she whimpers. It would be a lie to say he didn’t want her to. He also doesn’t want this to end. Until one of them makes the jump, they’d be dancing this agonizing dance and those little moments are all he’s going to get. She’s right there though, he hears her gush. He rushes into the stairwell. He doesn’t want to know. Doesn’t want to break the perfect bubble he’s put around her. There’s one way he’d let himself hear that and it’s if he’d be the cause of it. Literally.

- Touch -

She pulls her leggings up, hips swaying with the music on her TV. It’s late and she needs the extra motivation to get her ass to the gym. So she struts down the hall, waits for the elevator and makes her way to the basement. The gym’s door is ajar when she gets there, a stripe of light colours the linoleum floor at her feet. She shrugs it off; she made it this far, might as well go through with it. 

A tall, square figure gets up from a bench on the far end of the room. Hair well sorted in a bun. White tank-top snug against his back. He turns around and their eyes meet. Her hand reaches for the handle on her way to desertion; a reflex she would have later regretted.

But, “Wait!” He calls after her. The muscles in her arm become frail making her hand fall to her side. She looks at him again, taking longer this time. Allowing herself to indulge and he’s letting her. He wants to take a step forward but she waves him off.

“Bucky, I can’t…” Her words are weak.

“It’s okay. I’m not sure I can either,” he confesses. They sigh in sync. “I don’t know what’s wrong with me.” She watches his expression of defeat and swallows the lump in her throat. She walks over to the mirror, keeping a safe distance between them. Her eyes meet themselves as she scans her face. They close with another sigh - her forehead leans against the mirror. Fists clench.

“I don’t know either, Bucky. All I know is whatever happens next scares the shit out of me. It’s like Schrodinger’s cat. Open the box. Taste the fruit, and you’ll know. But there’s an outcome I don’t want to face...” She hears Bucky’s shuffle. He’s right by her when she opens her eyes, startling her. She looks at his reflection now. Both of them silent as they go through each other’s doubled features. A wave of spice hits her nose just as she manages to steady her breathing. She bites her lip, eyes looking at his in the mirror. Her finger lifts until it reaches the image of his bicep. She slides it down, the soft squeak of her fingertip against the hard surface makes them shiver. He mimics her action and draws along the line of her hip. He’s bending so low she can feel his breath on her shoulder.

She grants herself to turn around, tired of faking. Tired of hiding her desire and whatever comes with it. He’s right there and accessible and she’s spiraling down a panic attack until he steps up and breaks the tension. His warm hands grab onto her forearms, effortlessly pulling her close to his chest. She’s putty. She’s everything but the confident and sexy woman she wants to be right at this moment. The speed of his heartbeat under her palm lets her know he’s not at his best either. The depth of his eyes sucks her in and heat travels through her, blushing her cheeks.

“Your lips are getting really close to mine,” he says with a cocky grin. It would be impossible to slide a sheet of paper between them. 

“Bucky, please,” she whimpers albeit the uncertainty of the moment. She smiles when the weight of her words makes him shiver.

“It’ll change everything.” His hands are on her cheeks now, ready.

“I damn well hope so.”

- Taste -

“I’m sorry Mr. Barnes. Mr. Stark has asked me to inform you that public facilities of the compound are secured with cameras. High definition cameras.” The AI blurts out through the intercom, and it’s as if it, too, doesn’t want to see the following scene unfold.

“Fucking kidding me,” Bucky grunts, eyes shooting to the ceiling.

He feels her giggle onto his chest. The proximity should be firing up his arousal, but the cute gesture hits a whole other cord. Maybe this is what she meant by ‘unbearable outcome’, he thinks. He shakes the thought away, not wanting to break his one and only chance.

“You know, there is one public place that definitely isn’t monitored,” she mentions, wiggling her brows at him. His furrow for a second before he catches her intention. He picks up an elastic band from the rack in the gym before they amble down the hall and back up into the living quarters. He’s first to peek around the corner that leads towards the bathrooms, her body following with a hand on his shoulder for balance. Once the coast is clear, he finds the back of her thighs and picks her up. With a sharp kick, the door opens before them, and to their benefit, the room seems deserted. He sets her down before securing the doors with the elastic; an extra security measure that he knows isn’t the strongest, but it eases his mind nonetheless.

“Go start the showers on the left, I’ll take care of the lights,” he asks. When he turns back around, she’s standing at the other end of the room, five meters or so, but it feels like the world. He looks at her. The tight material of her leggings against her legs. How it delicately rises into her lips. The tank top she sports lets him see the bumps of her breasts perfectly. He palms himself through his sweats, bead of precum already setting a visible round spot at the tip. She’s biting her lip and he wishes he had mind reading abilities. He’d know what she wanted. How she wanted it. He damn well knows what he wants, and he feels nauseous at the idea of finally obtaining it.

“What’s with the staring,” she jokes. He grunts and she smirks.

“You’ve had control over me ever since I laid eyes on you. This has never happened. You’re so fucking hot and I don’t want to ruin this,” he admits.

“Talking will get you nowhere, Barnes.” There’s a wink, followed by her hands reaching for the hem of her tank top - it’s on the ground as fast as Bucky can blink. He takes his own top off, the movement of his muscles making her whimper and he quivers through the steam that’s slowly filling the room. She takes her bra off as he begins to walk closer, only spurring his intentions.

“Jump,” he commands when he’s within reach, grabbing her legs and pushing her against the cold wall. Her legs fit perfectly around him, her short arms hold her steady onto his neck. Her moan when their groans grind together almost has him finishing in his pants.

“God the things you do to me,” he adds between pants. His eyes roam her face and land on her parted lips. He catches her doing the same when his eyes look into hers before giving in. They crash lips in a passionate kiss, making the world stop around them. The showers become distant waterfalls and the steam is nothing but a tropical weather. It’s as if he had just bitten into the sweetest peach. Soft and subtle. Her lips dance with his and it’s the best thing he’s ever lived. They part shortly, only to allow him to take her carefully into a stall.

“Bucky, our clothes,” she whines.

“Don’t fucking care sweetheart.” His lips are back on hers and she’s safely stuck between his broad chest and another ceramic wall. The stream of water glides over his body, matting his chest hair and making his skin glimmer. His tongue travels onto her jaw, her neck, her collarbone. It’s salty from her ever lasting arousal and he hums at the contrast. 

Before she can even understand the new dynamic, he’s got his fingers on her pussy through her leggings. It clings deliciously to her body and he needs it. Needs the taste, needs the feel. He has to hear the soft cries he can pull from her.

“You’re a sin, baby. You know that?” he adds in a growl.

[seriouslyblacklikemysoul]

An Ephemeral Eternity in Seven Parts - Steve Rogers x Reader.

MASTERLIST Warnings: Gifs aren’t mine. My English. Word Count~ 3.3k.

Part I Part II Part III Part IV

PART V

How ephemeral life was? How was it that its fleeting beauty meant more as her life came to an end? Why hadn't she stopped to look around her before? Why had she been troubled with thoughts of suicide? Why did people come to value their lives just before they die? She felt so small in such a huge universe, she never liked being a pone to someone's game. But there she was; she would be their downfall. He had expected her to flee - he had planned everything so no one could ever leave. For the first time, she thought of herself as stupid enough not to have seen through. She hadn't question herself, she hadn't used her powers, she had listened to her mind and it turned out to be the stupidest of things. Never again, she thought but chuckled lightly. It wasn't going to be a next time. She wasn't worried she was going to die - maybe the opposite, really. She was worried about them. She knew they would all come, she knew what he wanted to see - an empire fall, he had said. All the years with Madam B. and HYDRA seemed to offer nothing now. She had already given up. If there was one thing she could wish for, that would be for her father not to over-react when he would found out. But she knew that it was just wishful thinking.  " If it's any comfort, they died in their sleep. Did you really think I wanted more of you?" Zemo's cold voice pierced through the speaker and her entire body tried to stop the chills. They were here already. They didn't realize it was a trap, she thought.  "What the hell?" Bucky said confused but she tried to get his attention with a muffled scream. He turned his head towards the direction but saw nothing. It was too dark.  "I'm grateful to them, though. They brought you here... Well, she plays a huge part too" his arrogant voice informed them while he appeared in the control room and illuminated one of the capsules with her inside, tied and muffled. Three pair of eyes were staring at her in terror. Steve hurled his shield to Zemo but it flied back. Tony tried to blast the capsule but it remained perfectly untouched.  "Please, Captain. The Soviets built this chamber to withstand the launch blast of UR-100 rockets" he remarked, making her blood boil and little by little regaining fragments of her powers. She needed time to recover from whatever he had injected her with. "I'm betting I could beat that" Tony said without taking his eyes off of his daughter. "Oh, I'm sure you could, Mr. Stark. Given time. But then you'd never know why you came" he went on, stalling them on purpose. She had to break free before he played the damn video. Concentrating every bit of her power to one sole thing - she had to break the capsule if she wanted to help them. She heard the video playing and she realized it would be now or never. For better or for worse, it was now. They heard the explosion and saw a purple color piercing through the room. The moment she got out, it was already too late. Tony lunged towards Bucky but Steve stopped him. She run towards them hoping she could help, but she just made it worst.  "Dad, stop" she tried to calm him down. He seemed happy she was okay but he was too lost in his own little world. He looked at Steve, with tears glistening in his eyes.  "Did you know?" he simply asked. How was she gonna tell him she knew too? "I didn't know it was him" Steve tried to smooth things over but he wasn't having it. Steve moved towards her, something that aggravated Tony even more.   "Don't bullshit me, Rogers! Did you know?" he demanded again. She whispered a no but she wasn't heard.  "Yes" Steve answered truthfully with remorse in his eyes. Tony stepped back, his chin was jutting upwards twitchy. He reengaged the Iron Man helmet and punched Steve to the floor while deflecting gunfire from Bucky, disarming him. He grabbed Bucky and flied him across the chamber. "Tony stop, stop. He wasn't himself" she was screaming but her words meant nothing. An angry answer came back to hunt her. "You are not my daughter" he said coldly as he slammed Bucky onto the floor and proceed to jump on his arms. Steve's shield hit him and she used her powers to put some space between him and Bucky by pushing him away. A blast from Tony sent her flying across the room, hitting her head and causing her to remain down.  

Steve barged him backwards, Tony shouldered him to the floor and shackled his ankles. Bucky punched Tony, who just lifted him and slammed him against a machine. Tony raised a fist but Bucky twisted it. She got up, trying to regain her strength and decided to wait, just a moment. She had hoped that they would behave like grown up men, not like children, but no one was stopping. She didn't know if someone was to blame, but Tony wasn't making things easier. Neither was Steve. Bucky pushed them both from the walkway,  while Steve jumped into them to deflect their fall. Bucky landed on a platform while Tony and Steve landed on the concrete floor besides an opening in the wall where snow drifted in from outside. She followed them, using her powers to mild the fall.  "This isn't gonna change what happened" a bloody and messy Steve offered for the last time.  "I don't care. He killed my mom" Tony answered as if he was ten.  "What about my mom, huh? And what about my dad, Tony? What about me?" she asked him, out of the blue, distracting all of them with her wounded appearance but fierce eyes and jolts of power rushing through her veins, creating lightings in her fingertips. Steve looked at her as if she was God. One look like that could ruin or rescue, depending on which fairy tales they read, but she had never believed in them. Eyes like those could never lie, he thought, so when he looked at her, he saw all the devastation he would cause in her name, and all the inevitability of their demise, and all the people who chose peace over passion. To hell with peace. She felt like a hurricane or a lightning strike. Love should leave no survivors. He made a silent promise to her. If they got out of there alive, if they ever saw each other again, he wouldn't let her go. She saw that in a single glance.  "You chose your side when you slept with him" he simply barked at her and she felt all the anger in the world building up in her.  "You don't get to talk to her like that" Steve threatened him. They traded punches but Tony ended up pinning Steve down. Bucky picked up the shield and leaped down to help while he told her to get out. Tony managed to zap Steve who was thrown back into the wall and blow away Bucky's metal arm. Tony raised his left palm ready to fire but Bucky grabbed his leg and Tony spun, kicking him in the face. Steve grabbed Tony  and lifted him over his head, throwing him down, punching him and bashed his mask off with his shield before striking down hard on the suit's core. Tony looked horrified and glowered fearfully at Steve who panted for breath. Both had blood spattered across their faces.  She couldn't stand it anymore. Every time she tried to push them apart, a blast sent her down. She took a deep breath and let out a cry of anger and agony, releasing every bit of her powers as Steve was sent flying away from Tony, with the concrete walls cracking from her powers. They looked at her in terror and awe. Steve's shield was stuck in the center of the Iron Man Suit. Looking at her, as if he was asking permission, Steve took hold of the shield, gripping the edge and pulling it free. She stepped closer to Bucky who was there, bloodied but conscious. She mouthed an apology but he was just looking at her, never wanting an apology from her. There was nothing she could do about it anymore. She knew things wouldn't be the same. But she had things to say before each took their separate ways. 

"You are all children, punching and throwing down one another because you cannot use your minds. How mature and heroic you guys are... Guess what Tony...  you're not the only who lost a mother but you don't see us running around looking for revenge now do you? I am sick of this. You have disappointed me and let me down with your stupid decisions. You were right, I am not your daughter, Tony. And Steve, I am not your girl. You had to fight for that, not fight my father. And Bucky, I am sorry" she poured her final thoughts and left them trying to understand how was it that she had become the wiser of them all. 

With nothing but an idea, she walked away, never even daring to look back to what she might have lost. Her mind was empty but her heart was squeezing in a painful way that made her want to get rid of it all together. But she knew that they needed time and she was wiling to remove herself form the game if that meant they would come to terms with the past. She also knew, deep down, that they didn't have the time they needed but she chose not to say anything. Her powers were sensing a greater threat but her mind was always trying to help the situation already before her. She had to be the one to step back because no one else would. And it was too much watching her family fight one another. She felt the desperation sinking in. The darkness and the cold taking over. No one would tell her fairytale. Of how girls can be dangerous and still win. This world, she thought, is only capable of digesting the stories where girls are sweet and kind and reject all sin. Maybe it was terrifying, a tale about a woman who knew exactly what she was doing when she invited the wild in, a story of a powerful individual knowing when to retreat and when to attack. She smiled at the thought of Steve promising her a future just with his eyes. But the universe never promised her this would be easy. She knew it because she was the hero of her story. And heroes were meant to be forged golden from the blaze. She would rise again from the shards her family left of her. She would take on her demons and kill them. She would break all the chains that had been brutally placed on her. And she would do show while showing everyone else that she was the person they thought she would never be. She wouldn't  give up on herself, ever again. She was made out of steel. 

It had been months. She hadn't received any calls from Tony, not that she expected to. She kind of hoped that Steve would reach out but it hadn't happened. It was easy for her to hide in plain sight and nothing was quite new. Last month a weird looking guy had offered her to help her tame her powers. Ironically enough his name was Strange. She had nothing to lose and so she had agreed. It wasn't that bad, he was so tense all the time but other than, she didn't mind. He provided her with anything she needed and she was free most of the time to go outside Sanctum Sanctorum. She had to be honest; having the time-stone keeper to teach her how to master her powers had been helpful, showing her there were more to it than she believed. She had understood the origins of the powers, found out that she was just a host to them but somehow those ancient forces of nature liked her enough to let her use them. She understood Wanda's powers as well. 

She was strolling around the streets with a beer in her hand, trying not to think about them; it was just before midnight and the night was cold but she didn't really care. Why was it that difficult not to think of him? Why were his eyes constantly messing up her mind?  "Damn you, Rogers" she whispered to herself, but destiny had another plan. "You're right" a soft but ragged voice came behind, making her forget everything she ever learnt. She just froze, believing she would never hear that voice again. She didn't turn. "I am so sorry. Please, come back" his voice was softer and more broken this time as she finally turned to face him. It might have been dark but she would find his eyes even without her sight. He was different. It had cost him a lot.  "I like the beard" she commented shortly after. He offered her a small smile but his eyes were burning with one question while taking her figure in. She had changed to. She nodded to him to follow her as she disappeared into an abandoned building, one that she had found out it existed when she was looking for any relatives from  her mother’s side. He did, without asking why.  It was an old, aristocratic mansion, with elegant and delicate furniture. Everything seemed to be in place, like nothing had been moved in ages. She saw his puzzled eyes and smiled. How easy was to fall for him again? She climbed the huge, marble staircase to the attic. They didn't talk, not even a word but his eyes hadn't left her. He felt like they were invading, something she noticed.  "Don't worry, no one is gonna come here. You can sit wherever you like" she offered as she plopped down the bed. He carefully sat down too, so close to her, he could smell her perfume.  "We are not supposed to be here, are we?" he asked while he was still taking in his surroundings. Everything felt as if the owners were about to return from a walk in the park. She looked deep in his eyes. He was her Steve. She took a sip from her beer, offering the bottle to him. He gladly drunk.  "Well, the grandmother died a while ago, the mother was murdered and the daughter is right in front of you. So technically, I am exactly where I am supposed to be" she honestly told him, tired of hiding herself from the one person she wanted to talk to for hours. He was left looking at her in complete amazement. She chuckled at his perplexed expression and before she could think about it too much, she reach out and caressed his beard with her slender fingers. It was the luck of breath and the electricity that caused her heart to beat a bit too loud and his eyes to travel to her lips before settling on her eyes.  "Walking away was one of the hardest things I have ever done, Steve. How can I ever come back?" she finally told him, her hand still cupping his cheek. He glanced at her and all it took was one god-damn look for them to feel even more desperate the burning need. He gave in - her eyes were too intense for him, too honest.  "In my dreams, I am kissing you and you're whispering 'where have you been?' and if I try to answer you disappear. I know that it will be hard for you to come back. I know that what I am asking is selfish and by asking you to come back with me you would be against Tony. I never got the chance to apologize for the overwhelming amount of pressure I placed upon your arms which caused you to act like you did when Bucky found you. I am sorry for every scar I have caused" he rambled on and on. She knew he was stressed and she also knew that it wasn't his fault. They were so close, his breath falling hot upon her face, his new, darker look made her weak at the knees, all the time she spent trying to get over him meant absolutely nothing now that he was in front of her. He let down the bottle and played with strand of her hair. It was longer. "You know that I nearly missed every word you said?" she whispered, leaning in just a bit. She wasn't doing anything on purpose. His breath became deeper.  "And why is that?" he questioned, already knowing the answer, as he too leaned towards her. She knew it probably was stupid but she didn't really control herself that moment.  "I was wondering if it has change" she faintly said, out of breath with her heart hammering in her chest, loud enough for him to hear. His eyes were roaming her face, trying to carve every detail in his mind. She was still the person he first fell in love with, only stronger. Her eyes held secrets he knew that hurt her. He couldn't muster the strength to ask her 'what', he just mouthed it. His hand was already wrapped around her waist, bringer closer to him, heat and power radiating from her body.  "The way you kiss me" she replied before their lips collided into a battle of agony and lust. It had changed, she thought. They were more desperate, more needy, more angry, more passionate, more fierce. There was a burning anticipation in his tongue that slipped through hers and went right to her heart. They craved each other more than before and it took her by surprise how gentle but strong he was. To hell with peace, she thought.  His hands roamed her body, slowly undressing her - before he removed every piece of clothing, he looked at her for permission. It had been a long time since that night. He didn't want to rush things, he wanted to treat her exactly as she deserved but she wasn't having it. There was a burning need to feel him, to be with him, to hold him and love him. Her bones craved him. He hadn't planned it; he wasn't even sure she would talk to him. Seeing her for the first time in months was too much. She wore darkness and gold and she looked like the Goddess of the Underworld, like Persephone, with roses in her hair and magic in her veins. She was nor a God, neither a monster; she had indeed told him the truth that day, she was a monstrous God. With every kiss and every bite, every scratch that left behind a map to their bodies, the night gave its place to another morning, which for a while at least, was peaceful. Right before they fell asleep, she whispered five small words that would never leave his heart. Ever. And he said four in return but she was already asleep. "I think I love you". "I know I do".

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