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What is imposter syndrome?

Even after writing eleven books and winning several prestigious awards, Maya Angelou couldn’t escape the nagging doubt that she hadn’t really earned her accomplishments. 

Albert Einstein experienced something similar: he described himself as an “involuntary swindler” whose work didn’t deserve as much attention as it had received. Accomplishments at the level of Angelou’s or Einstein’s are rare, but their feeling of fraudulence is extremely common. Why can’t so many of us shake feelings that we haven’t earned our accomplishments, or that our ideas and skills aren’t worthy of others’ attention?

Psychologist Pauline Rose Clance was the first to study this unwarranted sense of insecurity. She and her patients experienced something that goes by a number of names– imposter phenomenon, imposter experience, and imposter syndrome. Together with colleague Suzanne Imes, Clance first studied imposterism in female college students and faculty. Their work established pervasive feelings of fraudulence in this group. Since that first study, the same thing has been established across gender, race, age, and a huge range of occupations, though it may be more prevalent and disproportionately affect the experiences of underrepresented or disadvantaged groups. 

To call it a syndrome is to downplay how universal it is. It’s not a disease or an abnormality, and it isn’t necessarily tied to depression, anxiety, or self-esteem. Where do these feelings of fraudulence come from? People who are highly skilled or accomplished tend to think others are just as skilled. This can spiral into feelings that they don’t deserve accolades and opportunities over other people. And as Angelou and Einstein experienced, there’s often no threshold of accomplishment that puts these feelings to rest.

The good news? Talking about imposter syndrome helps! Hearing that an advisor or mentor has experienced feelings of imposterism can help relieve those feelings. The same goes for peers. Even simply finding out there’s a term for these feelings can be an incredible relief. Once you’re aware of the phenomenon, you can combat your own imposter syndrome by collecting and revisiting positive feedback. One scientist who kept blaming herself for problems in her lab started to document the causes every time something went wrong. Eventually, she realized most of the problems came from equipment failure, and came to recognize her own competence. We may never be able to banish these feelings entirely, but we can have open conversations about academic or professional challenges. With increasing awareness of how common these experiences are, perhaps we can feel freer to be frank about our feelings and build confidence in some simple truths: you have talent, you are capable, and you belong.

Learn more about imposter syndrome by watching the TED-Ed Lesson What is imposter syndrome and how can you combat it? - Elizabeth Cox

Animation by Sharon Colman

[studyaroundthetokki]

Incoming name change & life update

Need something new for 2020. Not sure what name would be good! Might even see more consistent updates from me. IDK. I’m, just like everyone, trying to get my shit together better.. and really focusing on becoming a better teacher. You know, it’s not always easy. I’m a terrible teacher in many ways.. my last job really showed me so much I was doing wrong--esp when the former head teacher that I replaced came back and did so much more/better than I did.. but he also had 10 years working at that place under his belt and my boss was not the best at communicating... because she wasn’t used to communicating those things.  But yeah, there was a lot I’d do differently in hindsight and too often I let that bum me out.. but you know what? That just drives me forward! I’ll do even better next time. I really want to help people learn--to learn English, to learn skills and confidence that can be used in other areas of their life, to encourage them to go after dreams big and small. 

I struggle with severe depression and anxiety. Some days I think I am an absolute waste of space.. but when I’m teaching, as difficult as it is for me to do it.. I really feel like, once I sit down and take a retrospective, I can make a difference once in a while. And that is some powerful shit. There is nothing like the warmth of making a difference in someone’s life. Best fucking high there is. 

So.. tossing aside the negative bit I was going to put in here to show how hard I’ve been struggling.. I’ve gotten things situated to go back to Japan in the spring for 2.5 months of uni teaching.. which is so laughable.. it’s such a tiny tiny job.. but you know what? I’M SO FUCKING EXCITED! THERE’S SO MUCH SHIT TO LEARN AND DO HOLY FUCK!

I’m going to be a UNIVERSITY TEACHER! HOLY SHIT. We thought it was the end when the USPS lost my fucking visa paperwork.. but it all worked out. My flight even got credited! Sure, I missed out on seeing Tokyo in Autumn and a really awesome position.. but you know what? I STILL GET TO GO. I have 6 more monthsish to work on my Japanese too (which ... has not progressed as much as I want but you know what? I SPEAK MORE JAPANESE THAN I DID LAST YEAR!). fuck yeah

I may not be the best teacher in the world, but if I can provide someone with 1/100th of what some of my educators have done for me? Then I’ve done my life’s work right there. 100%. If I can make a difference for ONE fucking student. That ... dude that’d be amazing. I wanna educate the hell outta these kids! Cuz haha we’re all still kids tbh. You never really grow up, it’s a continual journey. Adulthood isn’t some age thing.. it’s.. we’re just always growing or trying to and it’s OK if you end up being something you didn’t think you were going to be.

It’s OK if that dream doesn’t work out.. because sometimes  you outgrow that dream. Sometimes you change so much that the dream doesn’t fit you any more. It’s okay to have your needs, desires, and thoughts change. It’s OK to say fuck it, I’m done with this and I want to be something else. It’s NEVER too late. 

You can do this. You can set your own time line. You can do it in small steps over year or all in a rush. Don’t let someone else set your record. This is your story, fucking own it in the way that suits you best. You’re beautiful and amazing. You’re so awesome! You have struggled and you have worked so much harder than anyone knows. Your feelings are valid. You are good. You are enough. 

I’m your biggest fan <3

[studyaroundthetokki]

A little more on 2nd language learning

Hello peeps. Your inconsistently updated non-favorite langblr here. :) Isn’t English fun? I was responding to a comment on my most blown up post--which I am lucky enough to have 0 regrets over (other than some wording.. which actually works to drive the point about accuracy and fluency home). And I was thinking about my students from last year.

I had this kid, we’ll call him Super Shim (one of his actual nicknames) or SS for short. SS was maybe 8 or 9? Korean ages are calculated differently. Anyway. This kid spoke English at a level higher than most kids his age at a native level. He was fantastic.. but he was also bullied a lot, had a bad habit of screaming at the top of his lungs, and in general... could be a handful. 

He also got told he was stupid. 

Every day.

Until this precocious little kids who I adored.. believed it. :/ I mean yes, some days I wanted to scream right with him because his behaviors were frustrating.. but usually SS and I got along great. 

This super advanced kid who spoke better than some of the Korean staff I’ve worked with in teaching English--thought he was stupid because he made a mistake.  Things that even native speakers have trouble with (a/an, other things like that.. past tense, verb agreement, ect). Shit that I, someone with a master’s in linguistics, sometimes mess up.

So.........I started encouraging him to point out when I made mistakes. And boy did he and his other two classmates. They were little butts.. and add to the fact that I was the fat white teacher lady, they thought it was so fun to make fun of me... but then.. we started working on some creative stuff when classes were wrapping up early. We started working on things like 5 minute stories where you had to just write as much as you could. (SS always finished early so I’d tell him to illustrate it or correct it or give him a chance to just talk about whatever his lil mind wanted to--as long as it was in English). Sometimes I’d encourage them to explain Korean to me--in English. 

It was.. really cool to watch that whole class go from being uncomfortable in English... to picking on their teacher.. to being able to discuss works like Matilda. Which.. the first day I made them slog through. We read that intro and they hated it. They cried and complained. Made them do it anyway.. then we get to the part about how Matilda, who was about their age, wanted to read books that she didn’t understand.. and the kindly librarian told her.. to just read it anyway, to just enjoy the words as words.. and that it was OK if you didn’t understand everything.

They just finished the book a few weeks ago and are now reading Charlie & the Chocolate factory. I still have the letters that they wrote me. :) They’re good kids. I miss them... and I honestly think it was that class that made me realize that just maybe.. I’m not a horrible teacher. My “worst” class because they sure as hell were difficult and drove me crazy some days. My “worst” class because the director thought I wasted time. My “worst class” .. that showed more progress than any other class I taught. My worst class.. where the sassy little girl went from insulting me in Korean to insulting me in English lol. My worst class where same girl went from only being able to write 2~3 sentences because she was afraid of making mistakes.. to being able to write 5~6 and sometimes even finishing her assignments. Her mom was a teacher, so she was afraid of messing up big time. My worst  class, was probably the best one ever. Lil jerks, I miss them. :) 

I have lots of stories like this.. but really, I hope that you keep doing whatever it is that you’re not good at. Because sometimes, you just need more time. Sometimes.. you’re so hard on yourself because you are too close to it and cannot see the progress you’ve made.

So, if no one else has said it--I’m proud of you for all the effort you put in. You’re so much more awesome than you know. It’s OK if you take a break or don’t understand it all. You’re great! How do I know? Because you tried!

[studyaroundthetokki]

Go and love someone exactly as they are. And then watch how quickly they transform into the greatest, truest version of themselves. When one feels seen and appreciated in their own essence, one is instantly empowered.

Wes Angelozzi (via purplebuddhaquotes)

[studyaroundthetokki]

Kabukicho Rising, Shinjuku 新宿

[studyaroundthetokki]

初秋の夕べ

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Vapor Sushi, 新宿

[studyaroundthetokki]

Fall Study Space Tips

1. Weak morning light is nice, but try having a quick snack before those early AM study sessions and some water. Put on a candle that smells nice. Take a walk to wake up your mind. Stuff you try to cram in while you’re still half asleep doesn’t take as well. 

2. Make sure you are comfortably dressed while studying. Don’t be too warm or too cold. It’s distracting. Layers and soft fabrics are good. 

3. Get some cute seasonal stationary. Nothin like spooky notes! Or fall colours. Whatever inspires you and makes you excited to do it.

4. Pace yourself for your biorhythms changing with the seasons. I do better in the Autumn because of the comfortable temperatures and warmer light. Bright light gives me headache. I don’t do so well in winter with studies.

5. Change your study space. If you’ve been sitting in the same spot all summer, add some elements to refresh your desk or corner or cave. IDK. Give things a once over and clean up/organize if you need to. Some people do well with chaos. Whatever works. 

These tips mostly have to do with making yourself comfortable and motivated. Different strokes for different folks. Your environment really does have a lot to do with how well you study and how motivated you are though.

[studyaroundthetokki]

I get a little embarrassed..

when people compliment me on my language practice. It’s not something special to me. I work very hard at it, but it’s something I think most people can do if they study. It may come easier or harder depending on the person. Still, my progress shouldn’t be compared to any other person’s you know? I’m still on fuckin Genki 1. Translators and apps are helpful too. Like.. it’s just steady increments of progress.

[studyaroundthetokki]

ギャル語 ? 🙋‍♀️

イケメン handsome boy

いきゃめん handsome & cute boy

あげぽよ can't feel better than now.

さげぽよ feeling the worst

おこぷん very angry

すこ like

タピる drink tapioka milk tea

とりま So..

ありよりのあり If I have to say, it’s definitely Yes.

#slang #nihongo

[studyaroundthetokki]

Japanese Textbooks Pt. 1

Hi! Today I’m going to be talking about the textbooks that Japanese students use in school. I’m 13, turning 14 in September, so the textbooks will be from my 2nd year of middle school (8th grade). Also since I didn’t want the post to be really long, I have a video showing the contents of each book. 

     So what makes Japanese textbooks and American (and other countries) textbooks different? In Japan, students are legally required to attend school until their 3rd year of middle school (9th grade). Because of this, the country gives students their required textbooks each year for free. In America (at least the schools I attended), you either buy your textbooks, or you borrow them. Also, students in Japan have to carry their textbooks to and from school everyday so they are very lightweight.

数学 （すうがく）   math

problems

drawings

pictures

国語 （こくご）   language arts

poems

stories

kanji

newspaper articles

歴史 （れきし）   history

pictures

timelines

科学 （かがく）   science

interactive projects

pictures

drawings

英語 （えいご）   English

vocab

conversations

drawings

pictures

[studyaroundthetokki]

[studyaroundthetokki]

✏️ so excited to use my new journaling supplies !

my instagram + youtube

[studyaroundthetokki]

5 Japanese Words and Phrases for Today

傍ら（かたわ。）- side, edge, beside

擁立（ようりつ）- back, support

早期（そうき）- early stage

出荷（しゅっか）- shipping, forwarding

持ち込む（も。こ。）- to bring in; to lodge

[studyaroundthetokki]

Kifune-jinja  :   貴船神社　奥宮

Power spot is mostly green places.

[studyaroundthetokki]

240919 | 2/100 days of productivity

caught up on making all my quizlet flashcards and studied for all the subjects i had today + have tomorrow (featuring apples and oatmeal in yogurt!!)

🎧✨ - lover, please stay by nothing but thieves

[studyaroundthetokki]

Reminding myself of the vast range of experiences and emotions I’ve been through in my life gives me a lot of hope during tough times. 💛 I’m grateful to be able to experience it all, even when it’s painful sometimes. 

🌸 Join my Positive Pin Club to get a new enamel pin mailed to you each month!