aceshigh10987666

[aceshigh10987666]

Being disabled in public is crazy because I never know when people are gonna shove me in front of an audience and make me give an “inspirational speech” hoe please let me buy my fucking cheese and tomatoes in peace.

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Conversation I've Had Five Thousand Times Since I Came Out: A Dramatic And Semi Coherent Recreation Because It's 2 AM And I Am Tired

Me: Yeah, I'm a trans man, but the idea that we were all socialized as women doesn't apply to me. That just wasn't part of my experience.

Internet Drone #25: Yes you were.

Me: No, I wasn't. I just said that wasn't part of my experience.

Internet Drone #25: You were socialized as a woman.

Me: I isolated myself from girls and held myself to the standards I saw carried out by other little boys my age. For example, to this day I still have extreme difficulty being comfortable showing emotions I considered "soft".

Internet Drone #25: No, you have female experience, you were socialized as a woman, shut up.

Me: Every trans man or masc's experience is different and there are a hell a lot of us that, like me, can for all intents and purposes be described as cisgender men stuck piloting around a female flesh suit like the fucker from Tusk.

Internet Drone #25: I know everything about your upbringing and psychological development. Listen and learn. Are you silencing female voices? I hate men. You are suddenly a man to me because I'm mad at you and it's convenient. I'm in your walls.

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As of today I've officially read every post in the transandrophobia tag for an entire year--in addition to running a discord server on the topic for six months--so I feel I have some amount of insight into the term and the little community we seem to have been building around it.

I've seen people stumbling into the discussion and having their mental health immediately wrecked, so I want to share a few quick and basic reminders/lessons I needed to hear a year ago.

You're not a transmisogynist for using the word transandrophobia. You're not an MRA or a TERF either and it's messed up to call you those things. I used to question myself constantly about these things, but I've also now spent hours looking at what real MRAs and TERFs believe and it is nowhere near my beliefs.

You're allowed to take up space. In physical spaces of course--your presence isn't a threat just because you're a man/masc--but also in discussions of feminism and transphobia. It isn't talking over women to share your experiences as a trans person. You experience gendered oppression and it's okay to talk about it.

People lie about us constantly. I'm always hearing things like we think trans women oppress us or so and so in the discussion said something transmisogynistic; do not take these claims at face value, look into them yourself or ask someone who has done so.

Stereotyping us is bigotry plain and simple. That includes considering us more aggressive, annoying, self-centered, toxic, attention-seeking, and misogynistic compared to other groups.

Sexism can very much target men and mascs. If you've been defining transandrophobia as solely an intersection of transphobia and misogyny, I implore you to just look up sexism to see how it can affect nonnormative men. I can give examples.

We have allies! When I found the discussion and saw the vitriol and violent threats directed at us I felt hopeless and alone, but now I know there are plenty of trans women and fems who support me having language. You'll find your people.

I have more to say and I'd be happy to talk to anyone new to the discussion, just reach out.

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chat did u know that communism made unbreakable glass and the west didn't even care...

[aceshigh10987666]

the idea that "there's no base threshold of suffering we need to clear to have our issues taken seriously" and "there are people with differing levels of disability, some of which will be more disabled than yourself " not only can co-exist. they must co-exist. the existence of more disabled people does not invalidate other disabled people and that should not be the take-away we have from their existence. neither should that be the take-away when we acknowledge that there are some things we can do that other disabled people cannot do. ableds will not take us any more seriously if we erase the existence of people worse off than us.

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Idk what trans man needs to hear this but you're NOT evil or disgusting for being a man. You do NOT have to suffer for the sins of the patriarchy committed by cis dudes. Being a man doesn't invalidate the misogyny you experienced growing up or experience now. Being a man doesn't mean you deserve to be isolated. Being a man doesn't mean you're inherently predatory or scary. You didn't "choose" this, and finding your true self is NOT "betraying the community" because you happen to be a man and/or masculine rather than a woman and/or feminine. You ARE allowed to be upset when people "affirm" your gender by malgendering you.

You DO deserve a community that uplifts you. You DO deserve to experience trans joy. You DO deserve to have your voices heard and your struggles recognized. Wanting the bare minimum of solidarity is NOT "making everything about trans men".

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Ambiguous emotional rant:

Being nonspeaking/nonverbal, HSN and homebound anyone with high support needs and complex needs knows just how much autonomous and liberating the internet has to be for those of us who have no other safe place to be our true unapologetic, unadulterated, and authentic weird selves. I am very grateful and appreciative for the internet’s existence that it was ever even created/invented by mankind and that we have the freedom of speech to post (hopefully not all Nonspeakers, AAC users, or HSN disabled people have the freedom of speech to post what they like on the internet sadly) but for those who have good supportive caregivers, and those who have learned how to successfully, and safely access the internet World Wide Web, this is my toast to all of you who have found some semblance of human rights, freedom of speech, creative freedom and expression through your own words, I’m all so happy to be born in the right time in human history to have lived to see this day where hundreds of thousands of autistics, LSN, MSN, HSN, those verbal, semi verbal, minimally verbal, and nonverbal/nonspeaking have a place (so sorry for those who have not found it yet, or might not ever), to post what they like, to the best of their ability. I’m just so very grateful to have made a digital footprint on internet history. I pray we can make the internet a safer more inclusive and accessible accepting environment. Those of us who will most likely never be seen or known for who we truly are online than they see us in real life. Just know that you’re welcome here with me.

Julian & Damian

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Always always too fucking much yet never enough

[aceshigh10987666]

three person poly relationship made up of two people who are already dating trying to coax someone with horrific self worth issues into a loving relationship. stray cat style

[aceshigh10987666]

"you dont have it that bad, youre just making things up"

transandrophobia 🤝 ableism

[aceshigh10987666]

Just had the "It's a FUCKING disability!" conversation.

All the shit that annoys you, well....it fucking annoys me too.

Yes, I don't act like I did in college, why?

I only had to focus and be "on" for an hour and forty-five minutes at most.

Things changed when I started my career?

Yes, that would be needing to function at the top of my game and beyond for 8 hours straight.

I've modified my current job so it technically takes longer because I take fucking huge break in the middle of the day? Have I thought about changing that?

No! Why? Because I'm finally not being threatened with disciplinary action because I can't focus for the last half of the day and keep fucking shit up.

Do I want it to be different? FUCK YES I DO.

But it isn't.

[aceshigh10987666]

[aceshigh10987666]

question: any other autistic folks have a hard time reacting to pain?

like i stubbed my toe a while back so bad that it immediately started bleeding and ripped the nail off but didn't outwardly react to the pain and the other person present with me was so shocked at my reaction...

idk if this is a chronic pain thing or an autism thing so need your help tyy

[aceshigh10987666]

Cripplepunk, madpunk, and neuropunk aren't just "I'm disabled and also left-leaning". It's a specific realm of activism rooted in dismantling the systems that put disabled, mad, sick, etc folks at a disadvantage in society. This mean not only being against the very systems that harm us but also understanding their colonial origins and continued racist legacies. (Anti-ableism, anti-sanism, anti-psych, etc). This means not only just identifying and finding pride in your disability but also building and constantly evolving your understanding of disability and diversity and learning how you can change your worldview to accurately highlight the struggles of disabled people. (EVEN if it sometimes means you will be uncomfortable or unsure of unlearning some kinds of hate.)

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My chronically ill ass getting way too excited about notifications from this mf

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FUCK THIS COUNTRY

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I found this camera on the subway and look what was inside...