#stay safe people

[bettyshoweduptotheparty]

My Exit Note (for now) - and A Letter to Taylor

I’m so very sorry to the lovely people on here who will be saddened to read this, but this will be my last post for a while. I re-joined tumblr in June last year to re-reconnect to this lovely community, and it genuinely seemed so much safer to do than back in 2017. I thought the fandom had gained some perspective as a whole. But after only 7 months, the fandom (and by that I mean swifties) has once again become a battle ground for us, fuelled by none other than Taylor herself, and I’m no longer willing to gloss over that. I’m choosing my own peace.

It may seem like a very fickle move after only 7 months in this space, when the good people on here are genuinely some of the kindest and most intelligent people I’ve ever met online, but let me explain why I need to take a break. I don’t intend to leave Taylor Swift and her art behind and never look back. In fact, I have Eras tour tickets for the summer and I want to give myself a chance to actually be excited about that by the time June comes around. But it’s all too familiar, pretty much exactly the same reason I left tumblr the first time in 2017. I’m here to discuss and analyse Taylor’s art with likeminded (queer) people and I can’t respect the artist of that very art when she continually gives her toxic ‘fans’ ammunition to come into our safe space and harass us and then watches as we scramble to keep ourselves safe amidst abuse and threats. They are doing this in HER name. Members of a marginalised community she claims to be an ‘ally’ to are being doxxed and harassed in HER name and she’s doing nothing. If anything she’s fanning the flames while it burns. Whatever it is that she’s doing with her brand right now, her silence when her own crazy fans are sending DEATH THREATS to people for simply interpreting her art, means that I cannot be part of that right now. I thought the fandom had changed, that Taylor had grown more confident defending what she stands for, but clearly, I was wrong.

The tipping point back in 2017 for me, was when she told those kids from the rep secret sessions that the album was all about her darling bf and gave them permission to go after anyone who said otherwise. And boy, did they take that seriously. They came after us in our little corner for gushing over how beautifully gay those songs were, fuelled by words straight from the horse’s mouth. SHE sent those people after us. Because she wrote the gayest album in history and she couldn’t deal with the noise getting too loud. And I lost all respect for her. It was only in 2019 when she was suddenly draped in rainbows that I carefully looked at gaylor spaces online again, because it seemed like she was finally actually committing to it. But we all know how that ended… So, to see one of those very rep secret session kids on my YouTube feed yesterday picking apart this beautiful NY Times article with lies and inaccuracies in the name of Taylor’s straightness, just reminded me whose side she decides to put herself on. She invited those people to her house. She caters to them, not us. She made them think they were her friends and then sent them after us. With HER OWN WORDS. And I can’t be in the trenches for someone who hands my bullies a gun and points at the target.

I will leave my blog active this time, so my content will be here for people to engage with if they want. But I won’t be on here to receive your messages or dm’s. I’m sorry that I’m leaving you guys at a time where we need to stick together, but I’m getting more anger and hurt out of this than joy atm and that’s always the time for me to put myself first and step away. I hope that we will come together again when the tide changes, I’m still somewhat convinced that the clock is ticking towards a better time for us, but I need Taylor to come through for us (and herself) before I can look at her again. And I promise if that happens, I won’t hold a grudge.

And lastly, here’s something I’ve never done because I’m not crazy enough to think that Taylor sees us on here, but I don’t have any other social media and I had to get this off my chest. (If you have twitter/instagram, maybe do something similar, you never know, she might actually see it and I think she needs to know how much hurt she’s causing with this)

Dear Taylor, @taylorswift

What are you doing, love? I wish I could actually ask you that. In fact, I’ve wished it many times throughout the decade that I’ve been a fan of your music. I’ve wished that I could tell you what your music meant to me when I was heartbroken, and how much joy it brought me when I was young and felt invincible. You changed my life when you proudly held a girl’s hand in public with a smile that showed me that love is there for people like me to find, after all. And when the world was hard on you, I wished I could ask you if you were ok. But today, I just want to ask you this: what have I done to deserve you sending the worst kind of people after me? Time and time again. And you can’t tell me you didn’t know that would happen, I know you’re smart. I know you know the kind of people I’m talking about, the ones that worship you like a God, that will stop at nothing to defend the version of you they have in their heads. The ones you built your empire on. Good on you, but when did you stop caring for the people that actually see you and read the words you put out into the world for us? Was that not what you wanted? I can’t claim to understand how you live the life you’ve chosen, but at least your art was always there to bring joy to my life and community when I needed it. I didn’t need you to be a hero, but now you’ve become part of the problem.

So, here’s the thing: choose a side. Commit to us, or let us go. This line that you’re walking has reached the end. You want to be an ally? Fine. Let me help you with that: Don’t claim to be a safe space for queer people and then throw a grenade into our community and watch it burn. That’s not what an ally does. Don’t appropriate our culture by using our pride flag colours or the colour lavender and then deny the cultural and historic significance of those colours, effectively erasing their meaning. That’s not what an ally does. And most importantly, don’t let people be slaughtered, gaslit and harassed on the internet, or mainstream news, for interpreting your music as queer. A young queer woman, who is an incredible journalist, got called ‘inappropriate’ and a liar on national news yesterday, because she picked up what you’re putting down in your music and wrote an article about it. An incredible article by the way, one that made us all feel seen and validated. And then you’re letting old white men on national television call that inappropriate and invasive. You may not have said those words, but you let them stand there uncommented, let your cultish fans think that their hero is offended by being presumed to be gay. You guessed it, that’s also not what an ally does. A marginalised group of your fans got DEATH THREATS in your name in the last 24 hours because we pick up on queer flagging in your art. And you did nothing. You handed our bullies weapons and left us to fend for ourselves. That is not a safe space for LGBTQ people. And for that reason, you’re losing me.

Because I have nothing to believe. Unless you actually choose me (and yourself for that matter). Just once.

Until then,

J

[phantomphaeton]

IMPORTANT PSA

men who say 'i don't understand women' are actually using the age old trick of weaponizing incompetence. just like how he actually does know how to do his laundry, cook his dinner, and clean his bathroom (because how tf else would he have lived before meeting you) he knows that he ought to treat you with respect and decency. if he says 'i don't understand women', 'girls are speaking a different language' or any variation of this, it's his way of weaseling out of having to put in the effort of treating you like a human being, and he's flat out telling you not to expect basic respect/consideration from him.

we all want the same things, which is mutual respect, and no matter what they tell you, men know this. men who say this are not interested in respecting you, but will have no trouble respecting the boundaries/personal space/showing manners to their male friends and hide behind the 'women are a different species' wall to justify their desire to continue pushing your buttons/the envelope/crossing your lines/low-balling you in order to get away with (what they absolutely know) is shitty behavior.

also PSA: men who say they do understand women are also to be avoided at all costs. you will be smiled at, given flowers, and promptly roofied.

IN CONCLUSION: GOOD/DECENT MEN DO NOT NEED TO TELL YOU THEY ARE GOOD/DECENT MEN. CONFUSED MEN WILL TELL YOU THEY ARE CONFUSED/ASK FOR CLARIFICATION OF WHAT YOU WANT. THEY WILL NOT MAKE EXCUSES/GIVE YOU SOME HALF ASSED 'I dOn't UnDErsTaNd' AS THEY CONTINUE TO MAKE YOU UPSET/UNCOMFORTABLE

[ace-in-gotham]

Heard scarecrow is out again. Stay safe. I don't need a chemically induced panic attack, thanks. (nobody does, but scarecrow does what scarecrow does sadly)

Also I have a chance to brag about my mask. The basic ones were boring af, so decorated a little

[incorrect-koh-posts]

My dear followers, I wish all 333 of you (or those among you who celebrate it) a very merry Christmas and happy holidays! ❤

Thank you for another fantastic year with our medieval boys in a fandom that isn't quite so tiny anymore. It's really been a lot of fun with you people and I appreciate the good vibes we've got going on in our little corner of the internet very very much. Best wishes and season's greetings to you all!

[deerest-me]

Hi there! I’m very sorry to bother you at this time but I’m hoping if you’d be so kind to check the post that I pinned on my blog and maybe give it a little help by boosting/sharing it? it’s for my cat who struggles to breathe :((( and we need help to get him the tests that he needs. Thank you if you do as it would really mean the world to me and I understand if you don’t, still appreciate you and I hope your gets better! Btw, please do send me a msg to reply or answer the ask privately instead as I dont want other blogs to think im a spambot or what, sorry for asking this, praying you’d consider! 🥲🙏

hi, ignoring those suspicious instructions at the end and posting this so my followers know to block you. if you scroll down far enough, you'll see that the blog was made just this morning, so, by all indications, it IS the classic pet paypal scam.

[thisisanfiahateaccount]

For once the FIA have made the correct decision 👏🏼

To those of you gutted that a race weekend has been cancelled. Go outside and touch some fucking grass. There are people who have lost everything!

[aquafire2008]

Someone out there cares. You are not alone.

"You will be found." /lyr

To any suicidal followers I may have: This is a sign to not kill yourself. You are loved and the world is special because you are in it. Keep holding on.

Reblog this when it’s on your dash. You will save someone’s life.

[bettyshoweduptotheparty]

Anons in my inbox, I see you but I’m not reacting to anything until I have read the whole prologue and listened to all of the music in the morning. I’m not a fan of the words she used that I’ve seen so far but I feel like I’m missing a whole lot of context here so I’m leaving the battleground for now and will log back on here tomorrow when I’ve seen/listened to and processed it and will come back to your messages then.

Sleep tight and see you tomorrow people (and if trolls come, use the block button liberally! No space for hate 🥰)

[dykegeology]

HI IF YOU READ A POST SAYING 'IT SUCKS HOW EVERYONE ASSUMES WOMEN ARE STUPID AND THINKS THEY SHOULD NEVER DO ANYTHING VAGUELY RISKY EVER' COULD YOU PERHAPS THINK OF SOMETHING TO DO OTHER THAN GOING 'YEAH WOMEN ARE SOOOOO PARANOID AND THOUGHTLESS' MAYBE YOU COULD GO OUTSIDE AND FIND SOME INTERESTING BIRDS OR PERHAPS LEARN ABOUT IDENTIFYING MOSS

[elliedafish]

Sometimes I get worried that I'll accidentally repost a post I wanted to put on my secret sideblog on here and then my irl friends (who know my main account) will find out about all of the crazy things I secretly feel and like.

[nicooriia]

What I should be doing to every horrible news i see online instead of DOOMSCROLLING

[10minuta]

Some people will just treat you like an object in their plans and it's so weird. I'm here for me, I'm not here for you. Based on nothing, you just decided I would dance to your tune, but I never agreed to that. Creepy and scary. That was absolutely love bombing, are you even aware you're a narcissist??

[epicsandwich301]

Was scrolling through the trans tag and got jumpscared by random ass nsfw video

I AM A MINOR BTW

Why can't ya ban all those bots, mr Tumblr? It's straight up illegal for me to see it.

Do better than this.

Wait are minors are even allowed on this platform? Eh idk

[randum-famdoms]

Adding some more to this

National Domestic Violence Hotline: 800-799-7233 — available 24/7 through call, chat, and text in English, Spanish, and 200+ other languages through interpretation service. https://www.thehotline.org/ is the website.

Child abuse hotline: 800-422-4453 —available 24/7 through call, text, or chat. https://www.childhelphotline.org/ is their website, and there’s a lot more information there.

There’s also this list of help lines:

Finally, this website lists a bunch more hotlines and resources for the US: https://victimconnect.org/resources/national-hotlines/

The two abuse hotline websites have a large red X exit button in the top right corner to instantly exit you out of the website, in case of an abuser getting close while you’re on them. The child abuse hotline has instructions on deletion your browsing history on the very first screen you see when you open the website. This is what it looks like:

Stay safe out there. The election has caused a spike in danger for pretty much everyone that isn’t a cishet white male conservative republican.

The danger doesn’t just come from outsiders. It can come from ourselves.

Remember, there are always people who will be willing and able to help you. It can be hard, especially if there are people watching you to prevent you from leaving, but you can still try.

Please, spread this for those who might need it right now

U.S. suicide hotline: call or text 988 (available 24 hours)

U.S. trans lifeline: (877) 565-8860 (when you call, you’ll speak to a trans/nonbinary peer operator. full anonymity and confidentiality)

Substance Abuse and Mental Health Services Administration (SAMHSA) National Helpline: 1-800-662-HELP (4357) – provides 24/7 confidential support and referrals for individuals and families facing mental health and substance use disorders, including panic attacks and anxiety.

LGBT National Help Center: (888) 843-4564

Trevor Project: Call (866) 488-7386, text START to 678-678, or chat online.

Take care of yourself and each other. Please stay safe ♡

[serotonjn]

Girly, you can’t say you’re having a daily existential crisis and then watch a Roy Anderson movie, for the love of God, please

[wiisagi-maiingan]

I love tornado survival guides. "Shelter in a basement or interior room without any windows. But if you're in a mobile home, just fucking die I guess lol"