#helping my less experienced ladies navigate dating safely | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

skvaderarts · 4 years ago

Text

Apocrypha Chapter Twenty Four: Discretion

Masterlist can be found Here! Thanks!

Chapter Twenty Four: Discretion

Notes: I’ve just gotta say, I LOVE the comments that I got on the last chapter! Jokes on YOU, I’m crying too! I just use humor to mask my pain like Dante because it��s my only coping method! I’m worried about V, too and I wrote this shit! *Cry laughing*. Oh I’m so sorry, V. Please forgive me!

(-~-)

The coming storm built up momentum as it coated the forest below in a heavy layer of fog and rain. The air cooled down considerably as the minutes ticked by, night settling in earnest across the region and somehow making it even more difficult to see. As he neared the edge of the clearing to make a timely rondevu with the rest of the team, Griffon couldn’t help but shake his head at the insanity unfolding before him. If he strained the reaches of his subconscious, he could swear that he could still hear Nero and Vergil protesting V’s proposal, the plan seemingly unfathomable to them.

While the concept was sound, the actual execution of the plan depended upon variables that none of them could control. While Nero was a bit more flexible in terms of ideas presented to him, Vergil couldn’t claim anything of the sort. Minimizing dependence on outside factors was quite literally a way of life for him, and the idea that the lives of either of his sons could fall into that category practically made his blood boil. But V’s counter-argument had been difficult to turn down, especially with the prospect of being rid of the cult forever on the table. It all came down to Vergil’s willingness to tolerate a plan that he despised, but he agreed to do so against his better judgement. At the end of the day, this was the best overall method of thinning out the ranks and being free of this threat for the foreseeable future.

At least Vergil still got to cut down his enemies…

Griffon landed with a firm thud, shaking rain droplets off of the tree as he came to a stop before the rest of the group. Being the only one who was experienced with a weapon who they could afford to spare, Nico had volunteered to get everyone out of town and onto the train. She had her own undisclosed plans as to how she intended to accomplish this that she wasn’t disclosing, but that was her primary objective overall. The last two days had been a refreshing change of pace, but there was no way in hell they were staying in town with the potential things had for going catastrophically wrong. While the young mechanic doubted that the city would end up under a pile of ash and rubble like Redgrave City had, she still thought that it was a good idea to round up Patty, Kyrie, and the children and skip town. And it was an idea that the rest of the team wholeheartedly supported. Having bystanders in the line of fire was never a good policy, especially when those bystanders were family.

They were in unfamiliar territory, and fixing that as quickly as possible was a solid idea. As soon as Lady and Trish had returned from escorting Patty and Nico to the relative safety of the hotel, they would return to help back up the rest of the team. But for the moment, Griffon had the stage, and his audience was what remained of Sparda’s descendants. Well, at least those of them that were present.

“Oh boy, I don’t like anything about this plan.” The vibrant blue bird said as he shook his head, totally unsure as to how the situation he currently found himself in was going to pan out,” I got out of there just in time. That cult made off with V right after I left. I heard them say something about taking him back to their base. It has to be that cave, right?”

Dante shrugged, totally unsure as to what was going on. All he knew was that Nero had bolted back into the clearing at top speed with Vergil behind him and that his older twin looked less than pleased about whatever had happened back there. He’d stepped away for a moment to figure out where they had disappeared to, casually mentioning that he was going to figure out where they’d gone. But when Nero had returned with more than a few cuts and bruises, and V hadn’t returned at all, Dante knew that something was terribly wrong.

Vergil was clearly on edge, despite the fact that he was doing an excellent job of hiding it from everyone around him. Well, everyone but Dante. The younger of the two knew his older twin’s mannerisms far too well for that to sway him. But at the same time, he couldn’t help but agree with the wiley bird’s assessment of the situation they currently found themselves in. The youngest Son of Sparda had precisely no idea what had happened back there and the same amount of input in the plan, but he knew that he was a part of it and he’d take the opportunity to rip Vergil a new one about it after V was safe.

As much as he’d like to tell his frigid twin off for not explaining things to him, a part of him was actually happy that he knew he could depend on him to help him, even without asking him first. Even if Dante would have preferred that they discuss things beforehand, he was relieved to know that Vergil finally trusted him to some measurable degree. He’d been on the fence about it for a long time.

“So what’s the plan then?” Dante asked, looking over his twin pistols idly. He wasn’t so much checking their condition as he was trying to find something to do to occupy his wandering mind.” I mean, there is a plan, right?”

Griffon shrugged, flapping his wings. He was honestly just as lost as Dante was. “Your guess is as good as mine. V didn’t explain the fine details to me. He just sort of does things sometimes and I just go along with them. All he had to say was that “everything was going according to plan”. Cryptic little brat.”

Both Dante and Nero were willing to agree with that statement. Sometimes V really did do things that made them consider that fact that he might be slightly unhinged. Vergil folded his arms, clearly unamused with the entire situation. Did they really have time for pleasantries and small talk considering the situation?

“I assume he sent you to lead us back?” Vergil said as he stepped towards the edge of the woods. He didn’t strictly need the rest of them to come with him. He’d found the cave once, and he’d find it again. He had to.” That part of the forest is thick with dark magic and, as such, is incredibly difficult to navigate. Having an aerial view would be advantageous.”

Griffon nodded and took off towards the sky, double checking the trajectory they needed to follow. Vergil addressing him wasn’t something he was used to, and he got the distinct impression that Vergil was only doing so to further his own goals. Luckily for both of them, they were on the same wavelength in that regard. Everyone present wanted nothing more than to help facilitate V’s safe return and take down the cult that had seemingly developed an unhealthy fascination with him since his return from the underworld. If Griffon could help in some way, then they were glad for it. But how long could the blue bird stay away from his master?

“Well, let’s get out of here then. We can talk on the way, right?” Nero said as he followed after Vergil. “Wasting time here talking when we don’t know what they have planned isn’t going to get us anywhere or help V.”

Dante returned his guns to the holsters and nodded in conformation. Nero made a good point. Their limbs and mouths worked in tandem. Why not use them that way? V was skilled at adjusting to difficult situations, but if the cult had magic and demons at their disposal, who knew what they could be capable of. The longer they spoke, the more Dante got the feeling that he understood the premise of the plan. And the less he liked some of the finer details of it. Giving the cult exactly what they were looking for was a good way to gain access to their domain, but to what end? How did that benefit them? After all, there was no way that Vergil and Nero would've accidentally left him behind. As he entered the forest behind them, Dante took one last look at the peaceful clearing behind them. He had to agree with Griffon. This particular mission had “bad news” written all over it.

(-~-)

Panic worry and calm vigilance melded into one tense atmosphere as everyone packed their bags in a blind rush in anticipation for the trip home. While they were shaving off almost an entire day from their trip, no one had the time to worry themselves with such trivial concerts and they rolled their belongings into messy tubes and tossed them into their suitcases. They could do this again somewhere else at a later date, but they had to live that long first.

Lady and Trish watched the door to the room with a level of professionalism born of the kind of experience that came with a lifetime of fighting the denizens of the underworld. Under no circumstances were they going to let anything harm their companions, human or otherwise. While it was true that they didn’t tangle with humans very often and normally stuck to the more overtly demonic cases, they had been forced to take up arms against less demonic foes in the past. The only thing worse than fighting a crafty demon was fighting one that was backed by an intelligent human.

Hopefully this subsect of the cult wasn’t very smart.

“Look, Love, all you need to do is make it to the train station and head back to town. I’ll be there to back you up as soon as you arrive.” Magnolia said firmly from the other end of the phone. There was no questioning the honesty and seriousness from which her statement had been spawned.” I protect my own, and those cultists are going to rue the day they threatened you sweet girls. Stay safe until then!”

Nico nodded in agreement, not considering the fact that the older woman couldn’t see her from this end of the phone. She still had Magnolia’s number in her pocket from the card she’d given Nero before they had departed back to Fortuna with V. The young mechanic wasn’t entirely sure if she was stepping out of line by asking for help, and she didn’t care. Anything that kept the people she cares about safe was a win in her book, and she trusted Magnolia. All she could hope for was that they would arrive back in town safely and that the botanist didn’t have to reopen any existing injuries to save them. Nico didn’t know if she could live with any untimely deaths on her conscience, especially when it was someone who had shown her nothing but kindness. That, and Magnolia was basically Vergil’s only friend. Getting her killed was bound to have negative consequences.

“Don’t work about it, Magnolia. We're gonna leave here as soon as I get off the phone with ya. The train ride is only a couple of hours. Seeya then!” Nico said, trying her best to sound confident and sure of herself. She wasn’t lying, but she did have her reservations. She could practically feel Magnolia’s concerned smile through the phone as she wished her a safe trip and hung up, leaving Nico holding the receiver with nothing but the sound of the dial tone to keep her company. All she could do now was hope for the best and do what she could to help everyone get out of there safe. The gunsmith sighed and turned to the rest of the group, pleased to find that they were all packed and ready to head out. All she could do now was hope that the cultists didn’t know who they were.

“Is everyone ready to go?” Trish asked, giving the room a once over. Lady unfolded her arms and reached down to grab her luggage bag. She shared a similar sentiment. The trip had been fun, but she was ready to get the hell out of there and back to a more familiar place. At least she would have an advantage to use against her opponents back in Dante’s stomping grounds.

Everyone nodded or vocalized in agreement, trying their best to hide their uncertainty. The children were too little to comprehend the danger they were in, and to a certain degree, they were glad for that. The last thing anyone wanted was for the children to have another thing to keep them up at night.

“Yea, were good. Let’s get outta here! The train is gonna be here in like twenty minutes!” Nico said as she helped grab the bags and herd the children towards the door. Someone was going to have to pick Carlo up to keep him from lagging behind or wandering off in the commotion. She just hoped it would be someone else. She didn’t have a hand to spare.

“Okay then! You head down towards the lobby. Trish will lead the way and I’ll cover your backs. Let’s get out of here before they find us.” Lady stood out of the way and allowed Trish to leave the room, followed closely by Kyrie, Patty, Nico, and the children. Moving with a group this large was going to be a challenge.” Paying repair fees to the hotel is not going to be the thing that finally sends me into bankruptcy. Let’s get out of here in one piece, okay?”

As soon as the room was empty, Lady closed the door behind them and bolted after the rest of the group. The only straightforward path in the entire place was the route down to the lobby. If they could make it down there and out of the building, all they had to do was go a handful of blocks up the street. Then they were home free. And she was going to make sure they got there in one piece. She’d never be able to face Nero again if something happened to Kyrie or the kids, and Dante would literally go to hell and back for Patty. She couldn’t let her family down.

(-~-)

“Why are there always so many people willing to jump at the opportunity to join some sort of sinister death cult?!” Nero said as he kicked one of the cultists in the chest, knocking them off the side of the cliff they were facing towards. They wouldn’t need to worry about that guy anymore. “Like, where do all these idiots keep coming from?! Is there a super villain lackey shop or something?!”

“Because it is the nature of humans to seek power beyond their current threshold, and they latch onto those that promise to deliver that to them.” Vergil said as he came to a stop, sheathing Yamato. Half a dozen cultists that he had taken off guard toppled over in a very upsetting way, clearly no longer a factor in the current battle. “All one must do to gain the trust of another is promise them something they do not currently possess that they seek to acquire, and many will see that as enough justification to commit unspeakable atrocities.”

Nero raised an eyebrow, giving Vergil a sideways look before turning to face Dante. “Care to translate, Dante? Your brother is speaking another language again!”

The youngest Son of Sparda had just finished off his opponent’s summon and was pursuing them. The hooded man was spouting some indecipherable nonsense about something he didn’t care to understand and throwing everything between them at the red coat wearing devil hunter in an attempt to slow his approach. In a way, Dante pitied them. They seemed to be clearly out of their minds, the presence of so much demonic power and the toll of summoning so many demons with so little training had clearly robbed them of their humanity and their sentience. All that was left of them were the shells of what had once been people. But now they were twisted beyond recognition. Despite the fact that they were human, they were more akin to a demon than any pure blooded human should be. He’s seen powerful pure blood demons that could easily pass as more human than these poor husks pretending to be living beings. No. They were like worker ants, more akin to the Empusa than anything from the human world that wasn’t an insect ought to be. And he needed to find out who the leader of the hive was and give them a heavy dose of insect repellent.

Whoever was in charge of this cult needed to be stopped before any more lives were ruined.

“You think I know? I wasn’t really listening! Nothing Vergils says makes sense to me.” Dante said as he closed in on the cultist and finished him off quickly. No need to drag things out. His life had clearly been filled with enough suffering. No need to rub salt in his wounds.” Something about how it’s easy to deceive despirate people into doing stupid things for you, if I was going to make an educated guess. Why don’t you ask him?”

Vergil finished off the last of the demons, grabbing one of the cultists around the collar and slamming him into a nearby tree with enough force to shatter both him and the sturdy oak in two. They groaned and shook their head, clearly dazed.

“You're going to tell me where the rest of your ilk took him, or things will not end well for you.” Vergil said sternly, making eye contact with the young man in the hood.” My companions are patent. I am much less so. Do not test me.”

The younger man stared at him, clearly intimidated. “ B-but Agreus will kill me if he finds out I said anything! I can’t!”

”Yes, I’m quite sure he will. That is not my problem. You should’ve put more care into who you trusted in the first place.” Vergil gave him a sideways glance, allowing a hint of his demonic power to manifest in the form of his eyes flashing an eerie red for a moment.” But I am here now, and while he might kill you, I assure you that if any harm should come to my son, you will wish that was all I did. There are worse fates. Trust me.”

A visible look of horrified shock crossed the cultist as his blood ran ice cold. It was evident to anyone that could see him that he took Vergil’s threat to heart. With a sigh, he raised a shaky hand and pointed in the direction of the cave, barely hiding his worry. In that moment, he was more afraid of Vergil than he had been of anything in his entire short life. Not only was he sure that the Darkslayer could kill him, he knew that he wouldn’t hesitate to do so.

“Follow that p-path towards the interior of the cave. The part you can see here is only the mouth of a greater cavern that stretches several miles under the forest. At the end of the left fork is the cave you're looking for. You can’t miss it! They took him that way, I swear! Something about Master Agreus wanting to understand “what the dark lord saw in him”. I don’t think they plan to kill him, though. No. Master Agreus might be our leader, but he answers to a much higher power. A terrifying power. And that power is what is after that kid. We just do what they tell us to. I’m sorry, I didn’t know they would do something like this. I didn’t sign up to kidnap people! None of us did.”

Vergil yanked the younger man away from the tree and forced him in the direction of the woods before releasing him with a forceful shove. The younger man glanced at him for a moment, wrapped in confusion as the Darkslayer allowed Yamato’s blade to peak out of its scabbard. “Leave before I come to my senses.”

“Your… not going to kill me?” The older teen asked, clearly shocked by his decision. If he had been in Vergil’s place, he wasn’t sure what he would’ve done to the man who had helped kidnap his child.” What if I’m lying.”

“Then you're a fool and you should spend the rest of your life looking over your shoulder for me. Now go before I bathe my blade in your blood and leave your corpse here for the wolves.” Vergil said, far beyond the limit of his patience. Was this foolish boy actually going to stand there and look a gift horse in the mouth? Humans were truly something else…

“T-thank you! I hope you find him.” The young man said as he took off running in the direction of the forest. Vergil doubted his ability to navigate in the vast darkness, but he’d made his way out there so there was no way of knowing. Regardless, he was no longer the eldest Son of Sparda’s problem. As the young man disappeared into the darkness, Vergil turned in the direction of the cave and his two companions, both of which seemed genuinely surprised at his decision. Vergil half groaned and passed them, heading into the cave. Dante and Nero shared a glance at one another before following him.

“So Vergil, why didn’t you…” Dante started, unsure of how to approach the topic in a way that wouldn’t reignite his twin’s barely contained blood lust. It seemed that his older brother possessed more restraint than he gave him credit for.

Vergil stopped for a moment, glancing over his shoulder at Nero. While his response was a result of Dante’s inquiry, his response was meant more for his youngest son than his twin brother. “... I don’t kill children, Dante. I see no need to elaborate further.”

With that, Vergil continued towards their objective. It had been entirely too long since they had heard from Griffon, and Vergil was admittedly concerned for what that might mean for his oldest child. Hindsight is twenty-twenty, and as such, Vergil loathed the fact that he had agreed to go along with this foolish plan. But he felt the need to allow Nero and V to prove that they were as capable as he believed them to be. After all, they were descendants of Sparda and they had worked together to bring him down in Redgrave City. Not just anyone was capable of doing something like that.

He just hoped they would all survive long enough to regret what they had done.

(-~-)

Oh, the last two three chapters have been a blast to write! This is the kind of melodramatic shit I live for! Thank you so much for reading this chapter and have an awesome day! I’m thrilled that you’ve all stuck around this long. Thanks for all the love!

2 notes · View notes

studio-elan · 5 years ago

Text

15 Online Dating Tips for Women to Super-Boost Your Dating Game

As an experienced online dater myself, I know what to do and more importantly, what not to do. So here are my must-have online dating tips for women. Online dating is this entire world of confusion, fear, excitement, and unfortunately, dick pics. But, with some help, you can smoothly navigate that bumpy terrain without much turbulence. There will always be surprises, but if you follow my online dating tips for women you can keep them to a minimum and hopefully leave the online dating world behind. What is online dating like for women? Online dating is a minefield. Nowadays it is all swiping, saying “hey,” and never speaking again. In order to actually want to take online dating out of the internet and in person, a connection needs to form in the first few minutes of chatting. If it isn’t there you move on. People need dating and a connection to be as instantaneous as ordering something from Amazon Prime or getting a pizza delivered. If you don’t hook someone quick, there is no catch. And for women, it is even more difficult than that. Not only do we have to deal with average dating nerves, but we also have to fish through creepy mirror pics, cheesy movie lines, and guys who think asking for sex in their first message is totally warranted. [Read: Why online dating isn’t for everyone] On top of that, we also have more pressing fears to worry about. Are we potentially meeting a murderer? Is this person really Jake, 28, from NYC with a dog named Pogo? Or is it Kevin aged 56 who lives in his mom’s basement with a puppet named Alf? You are constantly battling your need to question everything with your desire to be chill and open-minded. You want to be safe but also spontaneous. You want to be vulnerable but also protected. How do you make online dating work for you? Must-know online dating tips for women Without the help of an accurate psychic, you will never know exactly what to expect from online dating. You cannot exactly swallow down the nerves and just go for it. Your fears are more than not getting along, but could you also be at risk of being kidnapped and murdered? [Read: 13 reasons why online dating isn’t for everyone] When you want to meet someone and work and friend setups are out of the questions, online dating is the logical choice. Sure, the likelihood of being stalked by a catfish is small, but it is a thought always haunting us. Ladies, to make online dating work for you, use these online dating tips for women so you can learn how to keep your guard up and remain openminded. It is not easy, but you can do it. #1 Be honest in your profile. Of course, you don’t want your profile to be a novel, but share enough to catch someone’s attention. Include something unique about yourself. I always mention that I’m a grandma at heart. I love staying home and baking and that seems to intrigue people who find it endearing. Your photos should also represent you clearly. If you have group photos, it should be very clear which person you are in the first one. Crop if necessary. Your photos should be recent, decent quality, and actually show your face. Avoid anything too far away, with sunglasses, or intense filters. [Read: How to write an online dating profile and set yourself apart] #2 Minimize your expectations. It is impossible to have zero expectations when online dating. You are hoping for something. You want a fun date, a relationship, or even a hookup. I get it. But to get the most out of online dating, you need to expect the very least. Go in expecting to meet a decent human being. With that as your bar, it should not be hard to miss. [Read: Is lowering your expectations the best path to love?] #3 Have a safety net. Have an out prepared just in case you feel uncomfortable or unsafe. Have a friend call you 20 minutes into your date. And be sure to tell someone your location and the name and phone number of the person you’re meeting. It might sound excessive, but it is better to be safe than sorry. #4 Never invite him over. If you want to be close to home, meet at the bar around the corner or the coffee shop down the road. You don’t have to give your address or even where you live. Even if the date went well, I wouldn’t invite him over until you feel like you can actually trust him. #5 Video chat before meeting. I know some people don’t like to do this, but I have met guys online both before video chatting and after, and after is always better. You get a vibe of how you will interact and a feel for the flow of the conversation. I also find that it makes your in-person meeting a lot more smooth and less awkward. This is also a great way to ensure that you are not being catfished. If they refuse a video chat, you should not meet them. [Read: 13 easy ways to recognize a catfish instantly] #6 Listen. We have a tendency to talk about ourselves. We want to share our interesting stories and what we want and are looking for. But, looking for a date requires listening too. And that doesn’t mean sitting quietly, but actually paying attention. If you just respond too quickly, you aren’t processing what they said. Actually taking your time and focusing on your date will help you realize how interested you are. #7 Own your confidence. When you are considering going from messaging to meeting, the nerves can take over and destroy your killer confidence in one blow. Try to keep your cool. We are all nervous when dating, it is human nature. But just because your body is nervous doesn’t mean you can’t own who you are. Show-off your best assets, feel good in your outfit, and project who you are, not who you wish you were or who you think he wants you to be. [Read: How to calm the stage of first date anxiety] #8 Have a go-to line. Online dating for women is weird. Do you reach out first or wait for him? I usually pick a dating app that requires the girl to message first. I find it is a lot less creepy than the alternative. But going in with “hey” is not catchy or intriguing. If you want to have a decent conversation it needs to start with more than – hey how are you. It is a great idea to have a fun starter. You can use it repeatedly instead of the boring “hi.” Most guys I match with tend to have a blank bio, so, I say, “That blank bio isn’t giving me much to work with.” This shows that I call them out and am teasing them a little, but also lets them introduce themselves. After doing this for a while, you will also notice when someone’s profile catches your eye and sparks a new intro to mind. [Read: How to spot the liars in an online dating site] #9 Do not play hard to get. From the impression I’ve gotten, guys do not want a girl who is playing games. So don’t try to act disinterested. You downloaded the app and made a profile, so you already put it out into the world that you are looking. Do not say I rarely check this app or always wait for the guy to message first. You are a strong and independent woman, you can make the first move. If you are interested, make it known. [Read: Texting before the first date – A complete guide to playing it right] #10 There is no such thing as the perfect man. With all the options right at your fingertips, you may keep swiping and scrolling until you find someone that ticks all your boxes. But, remember no one is perfect. You will not find a guy that is your prince charming. I am not telling you to settle for less than you deserve, but be realistic. Think about what you really need in a relationship versus what you think you need. Most of the time what we want is the exact opposite of what makes us the happiest. #11 Mention your deal breakers. A lot of people say to keep things light in the beginning. Do not talk about heavy topics like politics or religion. I say get that out of the way now. You do not want to chat with someone for a week before you find out they have entirely different morals to you. Mention things you know you cannot put up with right away. In my profile, I include the fact that I am not interested in smokers or Trump supporters. So, if you have deal breakers, share them right out of the gate. [Read: 25 most common and biggest deal breakers for women] #12 Bring what you’ve learned, not what you’ve felt. This is one of the hardest things to do, especially with online dating. You are meeting this person for the first time with little to no information about them. You need to go in trusting your gut. But, we tend to take our prior experiences and their baggage and our bitterness into this new adventure. Instead of pulling all of that into the booth with you and your date, only take what you have learned, not the feelings you felt. It can be difficult to compartmentalize that, but try to focus on what you do have control over, not what you don’t. #13 Ask your friends for advice. Online dating for women is overwhelming. You have a lot to consider. If you are talking to a few people and aren’t sure who to meet or don’t even know where to start with your photos or bio, ask your friends for advice. Have them help you set up your account. They know you best and how to boost your confidence. It is hard to sell yourself to potential matches, it can feel car salesman-ish. But, your friends are killer at sharing your best qualities, so let them take a whack at it. #14 Be bold. Men are not the best at reading signs. You can try to be subtle and flirty, but guys sometimes need you to be blunt. Instead of hinting at the prospect of meeting, just ask him out. No need to beat around the bush. Take the bull by the horns and go for it. What’s the worst that could happen? He says no, and you keep swiping. [Read: What to do on your first date of an online match] #15 Don’t meet too fast or after too much time. When someone asks me to meet them after two correspondences I am so turned off. You know nothing about me. I could be a crazy person or collect human teeth. They don’t know. Some would say, well, you get to know each other in person. But, without even a little bit of a vibe of how you interact, even via messages, it is hard to create a flow in person. Whenever I have gone from online dating to meeting without enough back story, things are awkward. You don’t have anything at all to go off of. Even chatting about about your favorite show or where you went to college can plant a seed for future conversations. With that being said, waiting too long to meet can create a lot of expectations. Once you wait too long, it can be hard to make that transition from screen to scene. Try to meet anywhere from a couple days to a week of messaging for a good balance. [Read: 13 warning signs to look out for in the first few dates] These online dating tips for women should get you through the sea of dating profiles and out into the real world with less stress, fewer nerves, and more confidence. The post 15 Online Dating Tips for Women to Super-Boost Your Dating Game is the original content of LovePanky - Your Guide to Better Love and Relationships.

0 notes

ouraidengray4 · 8 years ago

Text

The Challenges of Being an Interracial Couple in America's Whitest City

Our wedding day. Photo courtesy of Meredith Bacon

I love my husband unconditionally, and we have amazing chemistry, but we’re also definite proof that opposites attract. He loves dogs, and before I met him, I was an aspiring cat lady. He was raised Mormon; I was raised a Methodist. He is white, and I am black.

None of these differences were deal breakers as we fell deeper and deeper in love, but even before America appeared to be on the verge of collapse, being in an interracial relationship came with its fair share of challenges.

From the beginning, I knew Xavier wasn't like any other guy I’d been interested in. For starters, he seemed to express genuine interest in me as a person… unlike most of the other white guys I’d encountered over the years, who desperately wanted to add a black girl to their roster of hookups. I called interactions with these types of guys "science projects," because they approached me like I was some sort of foreign specimen in a lab they just couldn't wait to examine.

For a very long time, I allowed this. Growing up in the predominantly white suburbs of Fairfield County, Connecticut, the dating pool was pretty shallow for a black girl. In my hometown, the guys who were genuinely attracted to me (beyond mere lust) would never admit it to their peers—they’d have been ridiculed for actually liking a black girl. So in order to feel the touch of a man in my adolescence, I played the role of a "Jezebel."

I grew up black in a mostly white area, so I was accustomed to casual racism. As a survival tactic, I learned how to disassociate every time I heard someone at a party "accidentally" drop an N-bomb. I was also under the illusion that because people thought I "sounded white," it was possible for me to transcend racial stereotypes. I figured that as long as I was able to abide by respectability politics and not be lumped together with those "other lazy Negroes," I could just be the token black girl. So I hid my natural hair under Brazilian bundles—not as a way to protect the beautiful kink that grew beneath it, but to assimilate more closely to European beauty standards.