#started somewhere and rambled

[ohtoburden]

thinking about my dad breaking down crying in the car while driving me to school when he and my mom were separated, and how he said he still loved her.

like, did he?

wouldn't he have listened to her when she talked about how his family was treating her badly? wouldn't he have stepped in? wouldn't he have taken her side in enforcing punishment for us kids when we did something wrong? being the sole bread winner, when you agreed to that dynamic before marriage, isn't enough.

mom had the qualifications to work, she could have done it. she wanted to do it but she thought that if it was with dad, she'd be happy to have kids and be a stay at home parent.

and she cheated on him, because she felt he wasn't there for her emotionally, after all those years. it's it cheating if you don't feel like the relationship is real anymore? if you feel abandoned in it?

i mean personally yeah, it's cheating. have it out with the man and leave him, christ. but also i sort of understand her.

i don't know what kind of love has you so absent from your relationship, so unable to communicate or change or compromise or discuss when possible are first brought up, but then somehow has you break down to your kid about years later.

also man, i don't know what an appropriate relationship with your parents is supposed to be like, but that moment was so baffling. i always thought my parents were ill-matched. that they got into fights all the time. i didn't understand why they'd married. and i was a teenager dealing with so many issues, it just felt so stupid.

like, why are you breaking down to me, 16, currently suicidal, traumatised by your and mom's parenting, engaging in self destruction behind closed bathroom and bedroom doors. what on earth are you doing. what was i supposed to do with that? what was i supposed to do about it? we were on the way to school, for christ's sake. i had just a normal full day of classes ahead. i was 16. what the hell.

and now later as an adult. after my parents finally fully separated. before my dad found someone new to see. him coming to my room at 3 in the morning to check on me, but i'm always awake at those hours, so we end up talking. and we talk about his life and mine but in such a way that i am somehow basically a therapist.

who opens up to their 23 year old about being bullied in grade school, and that they've never told literally anyone else. not his parents, not his siblings, not his friends. how am i the first person you tell about this? that's so sad for him, that it took me for him to finally find someone to open up to. it took me being me, but also him not having a Wife he could pretend everything was ok with. that his lofe was exactly where he wanted it to he.

because as soon as he started seeing his new partner the pseudo therapy sessions with me stopped, of course. as soon as he started seeing her he was fine! i can't remember if i told him about the issues he gave me before or after he started seeing her, but that talk was in the daytime. you know, like a normal conversation. jesus christ.

[verflares]

collection of some loz origin au stuff i've been chipping away at for awhile now ^_^ with a healthy amount of dunmeshi insp for good measure LOL (the ooccoo isnt relevant she's just here for size comparison purposes)

feat my beloved good friend @linkvcr's hylia design also. because i am obsessed with her and you should be too 🫵

[lazylittledragon]

hi i'm unw el l

[latimeria-fell-from-heaven]

omg opinions on mr reca,

he’s literally >:3, mr. reca is full of silly whimsy and i need to study him under a microscope. he’s such a pathetic unhinged freak and i LOVE that for him <33

but he don’t get pussy, that silly little man gets the biggest strap-on up his ass <33 you could get mr. reca to cum in his pants from just steeping on him a couple of times, and now he’s hooked. he’d hump your foot like the depraved dog he is and drool n pant when you press down even harder. he REEKS of obsessive masochist vibes, dude would constantly follow you around like a lost puppy and refuse to leave you alone.

might as well get yourself your very own personal dog <33

[ohitslen]

Uni AU where Kni and Vash have an argument and Kni is like “so what? Are you just gonna walk away from the issue???” And Vash just goes “YEAH ACTUALLY I AM” and just walks out of the house and leave Kni there sooo bewildered

Vash drives to his house and feels so accomplished and good about standing up to Kni and then cries inconsolably on the living room floor where Wolfwood finds him and lays down in there with him while he scrolls through his phone. He says nothing until Vash has let it all out and they go to buy burgers and eat them on the sidewalk

[rynli]

Suddenly seized with visions of DE if Harry had kept his horse instead of trading it for an MC

[damiduck]

Tim is one of those people that get such baby fever it's crazy. Also, he sees teen moms and yeah, he realises they probably have it very hard, but also,,, look at them. He's so fucking envious it's insane.

And one day after a league member brought their new baby to meet the team or sum, Tim is fucking done. He's tried so hard to fight it, but in the end he's no all powerful being. So, he slams open the door to Bruce's study and without prompting, "you have got to put a baby in me." And Bruce, without even looking up, goes "we can't baby".

Tim frantically fumbles over his words as he tries to explain they can just really really pretend and he really needs this bruce c'mon.

They've dabbled in a little bit of Tim's breeding kink before, but Bruce was always adamant about condoms and Tim has been on two forms of birth control for years (better to be absolutely prepared for anything in the field).

That night Tim begs and pleads (and edges) Bruce until he gives in and they do it without a condom. Bruce says he will pull out however. But he with how much Tim riled him up and the newer feeling of Tim's pretty pussy around him fully bare, Bruce can't even last a minute, and he would never leave his baby so empty so soon. He also can't help his hips stuttering forward as he's cumming, blames it on Tim locking his legs around him.

It should be fine, right? It has been for the past two years (and yea maybe Bruce has been poking tiny, inconspicuous holes in the condoms for almost as long as they've been doing this, he just can't stand the thought of his sweet little baby Timmy with anyone else besides him, so this is the way to make sure of that). Except Tim stopped taking his birth control a year ago, and had the implant taken out a few months prior. He knew a baby, Bruce's baby especially, would help not only him but the whole family. He had to do it. For completely selfless reasons ofcourse!!

So yeah, maybe theyve been trying to baby trap eachother for years/months now,,, but neither expected this time to actually catch....

[goldengroovy]

tthe funny thing about olnf mcs is that they're usually their best self during step three.. (glances at ames second who i will be dragging through thhe mud even more once she turns 18)

[tired-shadow1]

I put a cut here because I ramble a lot and don't want to clog up the tags.

Drdt is so well written, I can't help but find myself liking and getting attached to all the characters even though I am well aware of the fate that likely awaits most of the cast.

It's rare that a series is able to get me so emotionally invested in the entire cast, but the characters are all so charming, and they play off one another so well, and they are all characters with multiple dimensions to them that have unique personalities and flaws.

they don't just feel like one-notecharacters. They are all complex characters with multiple layers to them they all have their flaws, and none of them are entirely good people, and that makes them feel more real and less artificial, and it's what gives characters traits that people can relate to which in tern makes them care even more about the characters.

I think as I finished watching chapter 2 and am progressing through my rewatch, I realized just how much I love this series and its characters, and I would gladly wait 5 or more years for chapter 3 if that's what the Dev needs to be in his best mental and physical health.

[fruitsofhell]

I used to be one of those guys when I first joined the Kirby fandom, but everytime I hear a discussion of the series writing that starts with "So the Lore is InSaNe-" and not like, "Kirby has a fun writing style that takes advantage of its cute exterior to tell cool stories that reward player's curiosity and leave lots of room for imagination-" I cringe so goddamn hard.

I kinda just hate that people approach things that encourage investment when they don't expect it as inherently absurd. Like it is fun to joke about how absurd Kirby lore can be, but it really often comes with an air of disrespect or exhaustion rather than like, appreciation that these games are made by people who want to tell interesting stories when they could easily make as much money just making polished enough fluffy kiddy platformers. And when it's not met with exhaustion, it's met with - like I said before - that tone that it's stupid for a series like this TO have devs who care about writing stuff for it. Which is a whole other thing about people not respecting things made to appeal to kiddie aesthetic or tone.

Maybe the state of low-stakes YouTube video essays just blows cause people play up ignorance and disbelief for engagement, but like I STG I hear people use this tone for like actual narrative based games sometimes. Some people don't like... appreciate when a game is made by people who care a shitton in ways that aren't direct gameplay feedback. And they especially don't appreciate it when it comes from something with any sense of tonal dissonance intentional or not.

Anyways, I love games made by insane people. I love games made by teams who feel like they wanna make something work or say something so bad. I love that energy, especially when invested into something that could easily rest on its laurels or which obviously won't be taken seriously. I love this in a lot of classic campy 2000s games, I love this in insanely niche yet passionate fanworks, and I love it in the Kirby series and its writing. Can we please stop talking about it like it's an annoyance or complete joke?

[l0ganberry]

I wanted to try something new and more cute, so here!

Puppy Barnaby with caterpillar Howdy!!

💙🐶💚🐛

[snoopeie]

Art, BPD and Splitting.

It's the way that, prior to meeting Tashi, Art accepted that he will spend the rest of his life playing second fiddle to Patrick. I mean, "I'm already at peace with the fact that you're going to win" is literally the foundation of their dynamic. Art was content to watch himself lose, to be teased by Patrick constantly, because it meant being close to the one person that offered him a sense of identity at the time. He thought Patrick is so cool, so talented, that anything he wanted, Art wanted 10 times more. Patrick wanted to be fire, so Art wanted to be fire (this wasn’t in the actual film, it's a line in the script). Patrick was fantasizing about Kat Zimmerman, so Art asked to be let into that fantasy. Patrick wanted Tashi, so Art wanted Tashi so much it made him sick (he wanted Tashi so much that she became his next FP). You get the gist. Meeting Tashi, another person Art thought was so cool and so talented, made Art see another version of himself, another identity he wanted to consume (Mike's words, not mine). That's what made Patrick slip off the pedestal a bit, but it wasn't until Art felt like Patrick was taunting and humiliating him, with the same traits Art previously wanted for himself mind you, that he fell off completely. You can see this seething anger he has towards Patrick in the sauna scene, anger that has real pain and hurt behind it, the pain of allowing himself to be sidelined by a person he loved. That moment where he told Patrick "It's not about where you come from in tennis Patrick. It's about winning. And I do. A lot" that's him saying "see, I took these things from you and I actually made something of them, something you couldn't do". The "you never grew up so and I'm so mad at you for it, because at a certain point in time, I respected you so much that I wanted to be you".

source : https://lifeasalunatic.substack.com/p/borderline-personality-disorder-bpd

[shmorp-mcdurgen]

Late(ish) at night gman ramblings time

Honestly I have yet to find a popular theory as to what Gman is that actually feels like. right to me. Like some of them are neat ideas, if put into something fan made, but if it turned out to be canon, most of the outcomes i've seen feel like they'd be super disappointing, in my opinion of course.

I've seen theories about Gman being a Shu'ulathoi that shapeshifted into a humanoid form, and while the idea is novel, I honestly feel as though it. limits him too much. It removes the mystery aspect of him because now we know what he is, and what his motivations are. Like, if Valve ever truly confirmed that Gman is some sort of alien species that we can easily pinpoint, or even one we've seen before, it would feel like it's putting gman in a box that doesn't fit him.

To me, Gman is best left unknowable. He is a species that only has one member (maybe), he doesn't have a set true (or at least comprehensible) form, but he's definitely not human. He doesn't have a name, he has no set species that aligns with anything we have seen so far. An eldritch entity that is outside what we have observed within the Half Life universe. As much as I would love to learn more about Gman, I also fear the mystery of him being removed and overall making him feel less like a cosmic threat.

Overall I don't personally think most of the theories explaining what he could possibly be are correct for him. He is nothing, yet everything at the same time. True ambiguity.

[theanonymousninja247]

✨ Star Friends ✨

When I found out that @chessman-protocol boy Crit liked Astronomy, let’s just say I was beyond estatic and immediately planned this little comic. Here’s to my boy Vincent doing his best to make friends with folks who share similar interests 😅💙

Funny enough, I didn’t realize I put this in Vincent character’s until I looked at the whole thing, but Vincent very much shares the lack of stranger danger the way I did/ I do to this day. To quote one of my past managers I’m “abnormally friendly” or whatever

I can’t tell you how many times even as a small child (drove my parents nuts) that I saw a cool person with whatever connecting factor and I just straight up walked to them and was like “Ok cool. We’re friends now.” And nobody’s really stopped me? So apparently I have friends now. 😆

Vincent however is just a wholesome baby boy who doesn’t realize he’s actually an intimidating hunk of a turtle and randomly walking up to strangers and not saying anything can be taken the wrong way.

Like I said, he’s trying his best. He wasn’t exactly the most socialized if you can’t tell, but he does love dearly and is certainly a boone of a friend to have once you get past the inevitable social awkwardness. He’s loyal to put because he really doesn’t know better, and I adore him for that. Anyway, dunno if Crit knows any ASL or not, but either way Vincent is just excited to meet somebody else who likes space ✨🌌 💙

[anonymouscheeses]

HEAR ME OUT!! VAGGIE IN A SUIT THING 😍

[once-in-a-half-life]

hm. so it turns out I've been using the rocket launcher wrong in hl2. you're supposed to point the laser where the rocket needs to go... 🤯

no wonder I was struggling so hard with the gunships and striders on my first playthrough skjdjdsk