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jesncin · 3 months ago

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The potential of Ma'alefa'ak; a comics retrospective

Ma'alefa'ak J'onzz, Martian Manhunter's evil twin brother, is considered the most iconic villain of the martian's rogues gallery. Aside from the white martians (which are arguably more often used as Justice League rogues), Ma'alefa'ak is the most frequently revived and adapted rogue to go against J'onn. Readers tend to remember Ma'al as "the Darkseid cultist who genocide-d the entire martian race", and while that's true for his first iteration, I don't believe that's the reason he's persisted as long as he has.

As with much of Martian lore, Ma'al's character and origin has been reinvented many times in both comics and adapted media. I would like to take a retrospective look into how Ma'al has evolved and shifted from his initial origin story, what I find compelling, what works, what doesn't, and where I'd like to see this character moving forward. This post will cover the comics and a separate post will cover his film and tv adaptations.

As we go through these iterations, I want to dig into what the through line of Ma'alefa'ak's character is. What do writers decide to keep and reinvent about him? What makes Ma'al, Ma'al?

disclaimer: Ma'al is frequently coded and sometimes even explicitly written as a disabled martian. While it's not a one-to-one comparable marginalization to any human disability (it's more of a fantasy disability or thematic rather than true representation), I figured it's still important to disclose that I am not a disabled reader. These are observations from an outsider perspective with no personal authority. Additional content warning for discussions of sexual assault (not directly, more like an act likened to rape- with the exception of a brief analysis on Brightest Day), genocide, and ableism.

Let's start with Martian Manhunter's 1998 solo run, issue #0 Pilgrimage. In this storyline, Ma'al is introduced as "the only martian born without telepathy!", and is therefore the only martian immune to fire (famously the weakness to the martian race). He admits to creating the telepathic virus that caused the martians to combust into flames, thereby killing them. Notably Ma'al is described as a "priest / scientist", and he explains that his goal is to wipe out all telepathic martians so that he can no longer be "the freak". The twins fight, presumed they killed one another, and went on their separate paths: J'onn is teleported to Earth, while Ma'al just kind of. Takes the world's longest nap in martian rubble. J'onn takes a pilgrimage to Mars one day, which alerts Ma'al that his quest to eliminate all telepathic martians is not complete.

Ma'al continues to appear as an overarching villain on issues #3-9, infiltrating J'onn's human life as John Jones and eventually impersonating the Martian Manhunter to get the Justice League to turn against his twin. In the process, Ma'al also impersonates several League members, sporting a signature Joker-esque smile to let the reader know it's him. This act of impersonation and trickery becomes a popular staple in future incarnations of Ma'al, as is often the case for shapeshifting villains. Ma'al adopts the "human" name Malefic.

In issue #7 we're given a flashback to a once living Mars, where Ma'al is being tried for the crime of "mind rape". It isn't specified who the victim of his crime is, unlike other iterations would later elaborate on. The reveal here is that Ma'al wasn't born disabled: he was punished to be by the martian council. His memory was wiped to make him believe he was disabled by birth.

[I know I could share other more informative panels of this flashback but I have to share what I consider, as a twin, the funniest panel ever]

In issue #8, it is revealed that while Ma'al's memory was wiped, his hatred was so strong that even though he doesn't remember why he hates he knows that he just does. So he secretly orchestrates the genocide of telepathic martians. J'onn notably defends his brother from the martian council initially, telling them that Ma'al deserves a chance as a new person, only to be proven wrong. By issue #9, the twins have a final battle with each other in the present. J'onn reinstalls Ma'al's telepathic abilities and memories, reactivating Ma'al's weakness to fire and letting him burn in the sun.

And that's Ma'alefa'ak's first debut! A standard trickster evil-twin villain who dies in his very first story. He does show up later in this solo run, but it's with a rebooted origin. So they're kind of like two different Ma'al takes in the same run.

Let's talk about this first version! We're dealing with a very typical evil twin character; he's described as the evil parts of what was supposed to be a whole person, while J'onn is all the good parts. There's a semblance of themes surrounding disability and destined good/evil, but it's only touched upon in this first take. One of the core flaws to Martian Manhunter's longevity as a solo character is his underdeveloped moral code and themes. It's the reason why J'onn doesn't have a stable rogues gallery, because he just kills them. He will SAY he has the basic moral high ground of "killing is bad, life is sacred" but he has no problem tossing his villains into the sun before acting upset about it later. J'onn lets his brother burn, but the narrative feigns him to have concern afterwards over how he couldn't save his poor brother. It's an odd read.

J'onn's "killing is bad" moral code also doesn't bounce off against his evil brother in a meaningful way. Ma'al wants to kill all martians so he won't be the freak martian anymore, but then what? He could go to a planet like Earth with no telepathy where he'd be normal, but instead he just,,, buries himself under some rocks to sleep until he realizes J'onn is still alive- which gives him purpose again. It's funny in a petty way, but meaningless considering he is now 50% of the martian population. While I consider this iteration of Ma'al's motivations to be shallow ("focused hatred" as a core motivation is short lived and unideal for the longevity of a recurring rogue), I do find Ma'al's shenanigans impersonating both J'onn and League members very fun to read.

He's a true equal to J'onn and while his immunity to fire wasn't explored as much as it should have been, it's no wonder this first impression gave Ma'al his iconic status as Martian Manhunter's arch nemesis, there's a personal connection between them as brothers. It's a familial short-hand for a deep relationship between hero and villain, but it's something to work with. Because even after death, Ma'al is still a revisited character.

Honorable mention time! The "DCU Villains Secret Files and Origins" (1999), featured an exclusive short comic on Ma'al's section that foreshadows the shapeshifting shenanigans he's about to pull on the League. His character page describes him as being born without telepathy even though that's proven to be untrue. We'll discuss the ableist narrative of having a disabled martian seeking to destroy all able-bodied martians in detail after looking through more of his backstory. Also, in the Secret Files information, Ma'al's marital status is left ambiguous for some reason. In case any of you were wondering if he was single.

Up next, Ma'alefa'ak returns in the 3-part flashback arc, In My Life (issues #33-35)! This story contains the most extensive characterization of Ma'al in the comics. In this storyline, we get to see J'onn and Ma'al's twinly birth. Sha'sheen and M'yrnn (J'onn and Ma'al's mother and father respectively) give J'onn a blessed name, while Ma'al is given a cursed name that prophesized darkness within him. Great favoritism on the parents, there. As the two grow up, J'onn is treated better than Ma'al-who is ostracized as someone vaguely "difficult". Despite this, J'onn cares about his twin dearly, constantly defending and giving his brother the benefit of the doubt. J'onn confronts his precognitive mother, and asks why she gave his brother a name that alienates him from martian society. Sha'sheen avoids answering directly and instead explains that before J'onn was even born, she had visions of a terrible future where a martian champion who would "embody the very best aspects of our race" will be needed. "Ma'al's name serves as a warning", Sha'sheen says.

J'onn grows up to be a manhunter like his mom, while Ma'al becomes a theologian and quantum physicist. At a big council meeting, Ma'al opens a portal that allows the people of Apokolips to visit Mars. The Apokolips people are friendly at first- asking around for an anti-life equation- but then quickly attack with an army and kidnap a bunch of Martians! They've taken Ma'al and M'yrnn too! J'onn goes on a quest to rescue his friends and family from Apokolips.

In the next issue, J'onn traverses Apokolips to free the kidnapped Martians and meets his love interest: M'yri'ah. He finds a traumatized Ma'al, whose mind has been experimented on by the people of Apokolips. J'onn also finds M'yrnn, who has been so horrifically tampered with to the point he is beyond saving. J'onn manages to save a group of Martians and head back home to Mars.

In the last issue of this arc, it's revealed that Ma'al is feigning being messed up by Apokolips. He's actually working for Darkseid and is snooping around for the anti-life equation! Meanwhile J'onn gets happily married to M'yri'ah, but before they can get-funky-Martian-Style, M'yri'ah feels her mind is being intruded on and is traumatized. An emergency council meeting is called, where we learn several Martians have been telepathically violated. Sha'sheen asserts -because the narrative didn't set up any other suspects- that the perpetrator is Ma'al. J'onn continues to be defensive of his brother and tells his mom they need more evidence before they can accuse him. Meanwhile he orders the manhunters to do a mental patrol while everyone sleeps.

In a sequence that is cosmically funny, J'onn goes to his home where he has it Martian-funky-style with his wife only to hear a cry for help from his mother who turns out to be dead. As a funeral is had in her honor, Sha'sheen's ghost materializes to J'onn. She reveals that she intruded into Ma'al's mind and confirmed her suspicions; Ma'al is Darkseid's servant. Angry, J'onn confronts Ma'al on Venus where the two fight.

J'onn proposes to take some of Ma'al's darkness and offer some of his lightness to heal Ma'al (some sort of Martian fusion I guess?). Ma'al is disgusted at the prospect of being more like J'onn so the two battle it out. I respect an identical twin that wants individuality. Anyway Ma'al loses and is brought back to Mars where his telepathy and memory are wiped away as punishment. J'onn goes home to have it Martian-funky-style with his wife which results in his baby girl K'hym. The ending is very abrupt.

There is a lot to dissect with In My Life. This is personally my favorite Ma'alefa'ak comic because while it's silly, predictable, and really slows down in issue #34 on Apokolips, it has some compelling characterization moments for Ma'al.

"But what am I, dear brother, other than what our mother made me? And what she didn't do to me, Darkseid and Desaad surely did. Am I the villain or the victim in all this?"

Let's discuss! Ma'al is set up to be the dynamic opposite to J'onn. While J'onn is "the best aspects of the Martian race" and is a duty bound to the point he is a law enforcer, Ma'al is an authority-questioning, faith-doubting, anti-establishment, outsider. There's a scene where M'yrnn is teaching young martians the ethics of telepathy: while Martians can read each other's minds, they are still entitled to privacy. To this, Ma'al calls out a double standard: how come manhunters are allowed to break these rules? M'yrnn essentially responds "it's tradition, don't question it." Even J'onn challenged this notion later when the Martian council accuse Ma'al of being the perpetrator of Mind Rape: "in investigating a mind rapist, you propose we rape Ma'alefa'ak's mind as well?". Yet that's exactly what Sha'sheen does to confirm her suspicions. She's allowed to after all, she's a manhunter.

Ma'al's entire reason for opening a portal for people of Apokolips to visit is because he's lost faith in Martian gods- something considered blasphemous by the Martian council. J'onn tries desperately to get Ma'al to assimilate into a society Ma'al doesn't identify with, going out of his way to propose how he could infuse his brother with parts of himself so that Ma'al could be more like him.

"I will not be you! I will not give up who I am! If I am flawed, then I will be flawed! I am Ma'alefa'ak! I will not be you!"

We all yass'd in quick succession. After their fight, J'onn's rebuttal is "You are as you are. Perhaps the only way to change that is to take it all away from you." Absolutely wild that J'onn and the Martian society are the good guys here. There's a story in here about someone who has been Assigned Ostracized At Birth and then dares challenge society's double standards. It's a far from perfect story, Ma'al absolutely victimizes himself as having no agency in following Darkseid's orders- but he came to this point as a result of a society and religion that shunned him. His punishment is to have his rebellious tendencies and memory stripped of him, and in the words of the comic:

"he would be mamed. He would be crippled. He would be given a new identity so that he would become a useful member of our society again. But he would never be fully trusted and he would never know why."

Dystopian!! He's been Martian Unperson-ed like it's 1984 by George Orwell. Of course this doesn't work and continues the cycle of Ma'al feeling shunned by society, this time because he's disabled, causing the destruction of Mars through H'ronmeer's Curse. Maybe Sha'sheen should've just named him something nice.

Immediately I know what the criticism to this is- Ma'al is a Darkseid cultist and telapthic rapist (and eventual perpetrator of genocide), why is it a question whether he is a victim? To this I say, we need to look at the bigger picture: how often are we treated to narratives that frame a rebellious and marginalized character who Has A Point About How Unfair Society Is, but "their methods are just too extreme"? It's the classic MCU villain and respectable-hero dynamic. Villain challenges the status quo, Hero upholds it.

Within the context of In My Life and Ma'al's lore, none of Ma'al's worst actions make any sense. In his first appearance, Ma'al is tried for the crime of "mind rape". However we, as the reader, are not privy to why he did these things. M'yria'h wasn't even written as his victim yet at this point. As she's consoling J'onn over Ma'al's trial, she says "I know how hard this was for you" "he cannot hurt others again". In My Life is meant to show us why Ma'al did those crimes. Ma'al was looking for the anti-life equation for Darksied, which My'rnn explains earlier to the Apokolips guests that "neither me nor my people have any desire for them {the anti-life equation}". Yet Ma'al violates M'yri'ah's and several martians' minds to fruitlessly find the anti-life equation when Ma'al should know that no one on Mars is interested in it. M'yri'ah is re-written to be his victim in this story, because it sure would be messed up for Ma'al to hurt his own twin's wife! Ma'al is oddly unmotivated in his origin stories, was he collaborating with Darkseid all along before opening the portal? Or was he indoctrinated by Darkseid after he was on Apokolips? What about Darkseid's ideas does he find appealing as an outsider?

Then there's Ma'al creating H'ronmeer's curse to wipe out the Martian race so he wouldn't be a "freak" anymore. This is also unmotivated. He had his memory erased, and all that remained was that he may not know why he hates Martians, he just does. So the next logical step was genocide? His motivation is watered down to "vague hatred".

Let's look at the optics of a story about a disabled character seeking to destroy the able-bodied population. Although I don't think Ma'alefa'ak's origin story is as intentional in its implication as some MCU propaganda perpetuates in its "respectable hero" narratives, the story of Ma'al is still the result of something so ingrained and unquestioned. It's reflective of the privileged fear that fights for equality will only result in the oppressed group oppressing the privileged-by doing unto them the same kind of oppression the privileged are used to doing to the oppressed. The privileged cannot comprehend what making space for others looks like, all they know is what it looks like to have that taken away.

No disabled person would go to the lengths a fictional Martian does in their frustration against an ableist society. Historically, it is able-bodied people and ableist society that's sought to wipe out disabled people and their culture. Everything from enforcing laws that ban the use of sign language in schools, discouraging disabled people from marrying each other, and the forced sterilization of marginalized people among many things, all exist with the goal of erasing disabled people. You've heard of fantasy reverse-racism, now get ready for fantasy reverse-ableism.

So why did the writer choose to make Ma'al do these nonsensical things? It's simple; J'onn is the best parts of the Martian race, and Ma'al is the worst parts. In a blogpost, Martian Manhunter writer John Ostrander discuses what went into Martian worldbuilding:

"Tom and I decided we would investigate and explore Martian culture in our version. He [J'onn] was telepathic; his race was telepathic. What did that mean? What were the societal rules? Rape, for example, would not only be physical; it could be emotional and mental. On the flip side of the coin, sex would involve a melding of minds as well as a melding of bodies. With his race dead, J’onn would be forever denied that. He could never again experience physical love on so deep a level."

Yeah their first thought about Martian worldbuilding really was "dang what's sex like for Martians, I guess it's super personal for them". Ma'al telepathic violation of M'yri'ah is not meant to be a deep look at rape culture or how something so vile can happen, it's just a demonstration of what the worst thing someone in a telepathic society could do. It's not even a sexual violation, Ma'al did the equivalent of looking for a secret pie recipe in someone's head, but it's framed as sexual assault by the narrative. That's why it's so unmotivated. Genocide is the next worst thing a person can do, and so that's all Ma'al is known for to most people. These narratively unmotivated actions, detached from a story about marginalization and challenging an unfair society.

And despite all that, telepathic violation and genocide are not what end up being the things future writers keep about his character. So let's continue.

Honorable mention time! In the 2006 comic run: Martian Manhunter The Others Among Us, it is revealed that the Cay'an (a surviving green martian and villain of the story) hates J'onn for letting his brother live! She wishes he was harder on Ma'al so that Ma'al wouldn't have destroyed their home. Ma'al doesn't appear in this story at all, but his influence on Martian Manhunter lore is so strong he still gets a mention and inadvertently spawns another rogue for J'onn.

It sure is weird how the narrative keeps punishing J'onn for caring about his brother. I would understand if In My Life was a story about giving an abusive family member too many chances or how some people are a lost cause, but that doesn't work when Ma'al is marked as an alienated outcast since birth. J'onn caring about Ma'al isn't a flaw to me, it's the one thing no one else in Martian society would do for Ma'al.

Moving along we have 2007's JLA: Classified: The Ghosts of Mars (issues #42-46). So if Ma'al's debut story was about impersonating J'onn and Justice League members to get everyone to mistrust and eventually kill the Martian Manhunter, The Ghosts of Mars is about Ma'al doing all that again but this time he's a dream ghost. Ma'al just possesses J'onn now. The writer, Justin Gray, really did his homework on both Martian lore and Ma'alefa'ak's origin story as there are some very specific callbacks that I enjoyed reading in this run. Rick Leonardi and Sean Philips's art is so appealing too! I love that they committed to Ma'al's edgy design.

So the reason J'onn is seeing Ma'al's Force Ghost (essentially) is that back when J'onn and Ma'al were kids, they partook in the G'amal'Khul ritual- which bonded a portion of each other's souls within themselves. Ma'al has a bit of J'onn's soul within him, and vice versa. What's notable about this incarnation of Ma'al is that despite the fact it heavily calls back to Ma'al's history in the In My Life storyline, it makes one key difference: Ma'al is explicitly labeled as disabled.

Textually it's more like a late-bloomer situation, where Ma'al can't hear The Great Voice in the way J'onn naturally could, but I think it's telling that the writers were willing to label that as a disability. Whereas In My Life and Pilgrimage never even used the word "disability"- Ma'al was only coded that way. You'll notice a still continuing theme of Ma'al needing to "overcome" his "flaws" in order to become a "useful member of society" or "a complete family". This ableist mindset and language is never called out or explored as something flawed in Martian society. It's just a given, acceptable thing.

Ma'al does eventually develop Martian Telepathy enough to hear The Great Voice, and then In My Life events remain the same in their briefly summarized retelling. Except!! For when J'onn is having a ghost-argument with his brother and calls out Ma'al by listing his crimes, J'onn does not mention Ma'al's violation of M'yri'ah or any other Martians. Later on, the ghosts of K'hym and M'yri'ah don't bring it up either. Possibly implying a small but noticeable retcon. Contrast this with his original incarnation, where that was Ma'al's defining crime that led to him being mind-wiped.

[these are from 2 separate pages that I fused together to save up space but please appreciate Ma'al peeping over J'onn's shoulders twice]

However there are some choices in characterization for Ma'al in this arc that are at odds with Ma'al's core themes and origin as a marginalized martian. His goal in this mental-ghost-argument with J'onn is to convince his brother that the Justice League will never accept J'onn as one of them because of anti-alien xenophobia. And in doing so, Ma'al weirdly props up Martian Superiority talking points.

Ma'al talks about how humans can never be faithful to their partners because humans can't shapeshift to keep the relationship spicy and interesting (I'm not joking). Unlike Martians who can change it up every now and then. Ma'al even says that because they're not telepathically open to each other like in Martian cultures, their sense of family "pales in comparison to Martian sensibilities". Having Ma'al flex abilities Martians can do as superior because humans don't have those abilities, in the same arc that explicitly labels Ma'al as disabled, is a bizarre characterization choice. While this version of Ma'al appears to have kinder parents raising him, the larger story beats of In My Life play out just the same. And those story beats rely on Ma'al being ostracized from his family since birth. The entire premise in this arc is J'onn being ostracized from human beings, who judge his more alien-appearance compared to Superman. J'onn even calls this out as racism. Yet no introspection is given over how Martian society oppressed Ma'al as a disabled Martian. So there's a bit of a dissonance in themes here.

Overall while I did enjoy this iteration of Ma'al (his ghost-aura pettiness continues to amuse me), I felt that a better version of this story was told through Martian Manhunter's Brightest Day arc. J'onn is tricked into trapping himself in his mind where he fantasizes about the Justice League sequentially dying off and is given cryptic clues in order to wake himself up. This arc deserves a shoutout because it also continues this Martian ableism tradition, but it's vilified this time!

The villain of this storyline is D'kay D'razz, and she's some kind of Martian scientist who seeks to cure Martians whose minds can't be read but are able to still telepathically read the minds of others, or "cerebrally isolated Martians" as D'kay puts it. She even proposed purging disabled Martians, which the Manhunters didn't like so they imprisoned her for hundreds of years in isolation. We don't get any named disabled Martians, they're mostly props to D'kay's belief and desire to breed the perfect Martian race with J'onn. It's odd that this time ableism is something Martian society and the manhunters disapprove of, since it was something they enforced in Ma'al's origin.

The Brightest Day Martian Manhunter storyline is also another prominent recurrence of Martian telepathic assault. Only for D'kay, unlike Ma'al's telepathic violation that was framed as rape, her goal with J'onn is explicitly sexual. "Rape" by term isn't mentioned at all in D'kay's plot, yet it's absolutely what she did to J'onn: deviously tricking him into hopefully giving her a Martian child. Yet J'onn as a victim isn't something fully recognized by the narrative to the extent that M'yri'ah was for In My Life. There's a larger conversation over the treatment of male victims in DC (and mainstream at large), but I think it's particularly clear in the case of J'onn versus M'yri'ah's treatment.

So our next two versions of Ma'al are more Elseworld takes on his character and they're much shorter to dissect. While I believe Ma'al is at his thematically strongest in these previous comics, I think these are still worth looking into because they continue some interesting staples to his character that we'll see in future adaptations of him. Also this is a Ma'alefa'ak retrospective, we're being thorough.

Get a load of this guy! Ma'alefa'ak appears in 2010's Batman The Brave and the Bold: Invasion from Mars! (issue #18) In this story, Ma'al is reimagined as a white martian. That's right, contrary to popular belief, Young Justice was not the first to make Ma'al unrelated to J'onn and turn him into a White Martian. Oh no, no no. Batman Brave and the Bold paved the way, my friend.

In this version, General Ma'al is trying to bring Martians back by destroying humans on Earth. Even though it can be argued this character only shares a name with Ma'al and little much else, there's some semblance to his character here. Ma'al possesses Batman in the later half of the story, even sporting his Joker-esque smile as he tries to take over Batman's mind. That's just about it, though!

Ma'al being reimagined as an Alien Invader seeking to wipe out humans and replace them with an alien race is a really generic villain motivation (for Kryptonians but especially Martians) so it doesn't stick. This does already show writers trying to freshen up Ma'al as a rogue by changing his Martian race. This Ma'al is the cutest design in the world.

Our last prominent Ma'alefa'ak comic appearance takes us to the infamous New 52, which features a red Martian variant of Ma'al who is once again, not J'onn's twin brother. The New 52 is a reboot where the DC universe gets an overall edgy makeover. For Martian Manhunter, this meant the 12-issue solo Epiphany. While it's easy to write this take off as a dark Elseworld interpretation with no connection to the characters' history, the Epiphany run actually has a ton of call backs to Martian Manhunter history. I like to describe this series as taking all those references and throwing them in an evil, twisted blender. So let's discuss. Since this series relies on a lot of time skips and twists, I'll be describing the relevant plot points as they happen chronologically in the universe.

Long ago, Krypton-uh I mean-Mars, was a technologically advanced society whose people became so arrogant of their progress that they didn't realize their planet was hurting. So the cosmic Spirit of Mars itself decided to psychically send the Martians a vision; a cry for help. Instead, most Martians interpreted this vision as a threat. Many just saw the vision of a large cosmic monster coming for them. Martians like Ma'alefa'ak, weaponized the growing fear and paranoia for his own gain. He convinces the Martian council that they should make a Martian Manhunter; a fusion of all the best Martians to be their weaponized champion against the coming threat. J'onn volunteers to be the soul vessel of the weapon. At the last minute, Ma'al betrays the Martians by slaughtering some of them to perform "Ancient Long-Banned Black Martian Blood Magic" to turn J'onn into a monstrous hybrid.

J'onn is betrayed, but decides to make the most of it by challenging the cosmic monster to a fight. The Spirit of Mars takes the form of J'onn's son and shames Martiankind for responding to its cry for help with violence. It punishes Mars by sucking the planet dry and spitting J'onn off-planet. Ma'alefa'ak seemingly escapes with his troops.

As millions of years pass by, J'onn goes insane and out of loneliness, splits himself up into a bunch of Martians with consciousness of their own and spread them throughout the planet (and the universe I guess). Out of shame, J'onn hides from his past and convinces himself he's a hero with false memories. Eventually in the present day, all of the split parts of J'onn decide they want to return to him as "our god", and they do that through...a fake alien invasion.

The invasion consists of a fake Ma'alefa'ak (constructed by J'onn) and his team of fake White Martians (also constructed by J'onn) who seek to put J'onn into a giant magical beam that would supposedly bring Mars back. J'onn splits himself into 4 new identities to make himself harder to find, but he's found and brought to the beam regardless.

The magic spell goes wrong and instead sends him to a universe where Earth and a resurrected Mars are about to collide into each other. J'onn tries to save both the resurrected Martians and the people of Earth by taking the Martians through a portal back to before the spell happened. Which he does. But as he makes it back to normal Earth, he is treated to the plot twist that none of the Martians (neither the ones that attacked him nor the ones he was saving) were real. J'onn realized he orchestrated the whole thing. And before the reader can think too hard about all the innocent people J'onn killed in his weird roleplay game, the comic ends with a little girl basically telling him "well, at least you tried to do good." J'onn quickly flies away because- yeah I don't think he was convinced by what she said either.

And that's a very brief summary of the New 52 Martian Manhunter arc. I'll go into more detail in the analysis since the story is so overloaded and convoluted that it would take forever to explain every plot point as its presented to us in the comic. So let's talk about themes and how Ma'alefa'ak fits into this story.

One of the other foundational flaws of Martian Manhunter as a superhero character is that he is in many ways, a creatively redundant variation of Superman. Whenever writers try to flesh out the world of Mars, they often end up accidentally re-creating Krypton. In J'onn's limited Rebirth solo run Identity, he's basically a more corrupt Jor-El figure. When both Superman and Martian Manhunter are the last of their kind and powerful, an exciting villain means bringing out another Martian or Kryptonian that seeks to take over Earth to bring their lost planet back. What Epiphany tries to do to differentiate J'onn from Superman is to dip into the cosmic horror idea that J'onn is not who he always thought he was. He's not a hero, he's a weapon designed to attack the Spirit of Mars. The new identities J'onn split himself into are convinced they have fully lived lives and are horrified to learn they're a part of something else. The full horror comes around when J'onn realizes he's constructed all this alien-invasion destruction himself. It's a very unnecessarily edgy end to a story with potential. But how does Ma'alefa'ak fit into it?

Outside of the origin story, the Ma'al we see in this arc is mostly a fabrication of J'onn's mind. Sure he has his own consciousness and we can only assume he's an accurate re-enactment of what the real (probably dead) Ma'al was like, but he's still an extension of J'onn at the end. Ma'al is characterized as a paranoid, violent egomaniac. He casually uses forbidden Martian magic to fuse Martians against their will, and his ultimate goal is to recreate Mars in his image. I highly doubt the writer of this run was referencing Ma'al's more generic re-imagined motivations from the Batman Brave and the Bold comic, but it's interesting that making Ma'al into discount General Zod is a thing that happened twice. So how does this fit into older takes on Ma'al outside of being overly edgy? It's all in the details.

The first time J'onn (as one of his new human identities) meets Ma'alefa'ak in the story, Ma'al and the many White Martians have disguised themselves as humans on Earth. Ma'al takes the form of Leo Chandler, a disabled, wheelchair-using boy paralyzed through motor neuron disease. Out of all the throwbacks to Ma'alefa'ak's disability, this one is the wildest. Leo is introduced as having been kidnapped by his own mother before murdering her himself.

But eventually J'onn learns that Leo is not who he seems. He is Ma'alefa'ak in disguise, and Leo's human "mother" was another Martian in disguise. Ma'alefa'ak's "mother" grew to like humans and decided she didn't want to go through with the invasion. She paralyzed Ma'alefa'ak with her powerful telekinesis into a form he finds disgusting and inferior. Once J'onn's many identities get close to the magic beam, Ma'alefa'ak regains his true form again. This is a surprising mix of many things from Martian Manhunter lore. Ma'alefa'ak being disabled by another Martian, finding humans inferior to Martians, even the part where he kills his own mother, are all callbacks to his original iterations. The missing thematic piece is that Ma'al is not marginalized by the Martians or humans in any way, so we're left with only the cartoonishly evil and generic "bring Mars back in my image" through genocide ritual sacrifice.

This is further contrasted against how J'onn is reimagined in this run. Remember how when J'onn's mother tells him she foresaw how he would become a martian champion who would "embody the very best aspects of our race" way back in In My Life? Well in Epiphany, J'onn is now the ultimate able-bodied best Martian. He is a magic-made mix of the greatest warriors and intellects Mars has to offer. Part of the themes of this run is the way J'onn's unique existence dehumanizes him. After witnessing Ma'alefa'ak slaughter Martians with forbidden magic to complete J'onn's transformation, J'onn tells Ma'alefa'ak "You murdered me!". His new identities have personal crises upon finding out their lives are fabricated. So even though J'onn is Mars' ideal champion, the transformation is a burden on him.

In terms of J'onn and Ma'al's dynamic, we're not given a lot to work with. They're basically council associates until J'onn is betrayed by Ma'al turning him into a hybrid fusion monster. The fabricated-by-J'onn's-mind-version of Ma'al hates J'onn for resisting his destiny as a weapon to bring Mars back. There's something about how Ma'al's hatred of J'onn is characterized in this series that feels strangely familiar. Sure, Ma'al is defined by paranoia and ego, but the hatred almost feels like classic Ma'al's vague and petty hatred. It leads to amazing instances of dialogue like "COME DOWN, MANHUNTER! AND MA'ALEFA'AK WILL RIP OUT YOUR TRAITOR'S HEART AND EAT IT AS HATE FUEL FOR BLACK BLOOD MAGIC!" along with the classic "I HAVE HATED YOU SO MUCH I THINK I LOVE YOU, J'ONN." A real tsundere moment for Ma'al.

There's many other nods to Martian Manhunter lore- but to keep it Ma'alefa'ak centric, I have to point out that the series does end with J'onn talking to Ma'alefa'ak's force ghost. And I find that so amusing as an arguably intentional reference to their JLA: Classified, the Ghosts of Mars arc.

So that's New 52 Ma'alefa'ak. My main criticism for Epiphany as a Martian Manhunter take is that it feels less like a story with a unique voice and more like an amalgamation of annotations, references and citations to other Martian Manhunter stories. There's a great premise at the center of Epiphany; the cosmic horror of realizing you're not who you thought you were, that your existence is fabricated and fake, but it's bogged down with an edgy convoluted story that loses what it wants to say. This is reflected in their take of Ma'al. If you remove all the strange quirky references, he's just discount general Zod of Krypton.

Epiphany is a symptom to a larger core flaw to Martian Manhunter's as a superhero character. If Superman is an allegorical immigrant that symbolizes hope and Batman is vengeance initially motivated by grief that eventually evolves into hope, then what grounds J'onn J'onzz as a character? He may be an alien, but stories exist to describe human experiences. DC recognizes J'onn is a survivor from planet-wide destruction, but its writers don't know what to do with him after the fact. What is heroism motivated by? Why does he choose to protect his new home?

Because they're unable to answer this, we get story after story of J'onn grieving Mars like he's your best friend who can't get over their ex. It's why they constantly revisit his origin story, because they don't have anything else to say about J'onn outside of his grief. This affects his villains too, most of them reverting to just tempting him to bring back Mars. Testing nothing else about his character. This isn't a bad plot to have, but it's J'onn's ONLY plot most of the time. So unless Martian Manhunter gets a major revitalization of his entire character, he can't grow into a self sustaining property. Speaking of revisiting his origin-

It's time for our last honorable mention! With the Rebirth reboot across the DC Universe, we get yet another Martian Manhunter origin retelling. This time, in the form of a limited 12 issue solo series Martian Manhunter; Identity (2019) written by Steve Orlando with art by Riley Rossmo.

Ma'al gets but a single mention in this series, but it's crucial to point out for many reasons. For one, Ma'al is revealed to be a slut. And while I'd love to stick to that one point alone, it's the broader implications of this reimagining that are important to consider in terms of how Ma'alefa'ak has evolved as a character. As of writing, Identity is the most thorough characterization of J'onn's wife and daughter in all of comics canon. It is the first time M'yri'ah and K'hym are fleshed out to have personalities, motivations, occupations and lives. Before this, they were props for J'onn to love and feel sad about. Yes, these two are what Jor El and Lara are to Superman and what Thomas and Martha Wayne are to Batman, but they only got fleshed out all the way in 2019.

In Identity, M'yri'ah works as a nurse who has suspicions about the growing fire virus infecting Martians. After learning J'onn is a corrupt cop who tried to sneak her and their daughter K'hym off-planet before the fire consumed them all, she dies by opening her mind to K'hym's and getting infected. So how does this come back to Ma'alefa'ak? The true origins of the fire virus remain a mystery in this interpretation, so we don't know if Ma'al is still responsible for burning all the Martians through Hr'onmeer's curse. But what we do know is that he's no longer involved with M'yri'ah in any way. Sure she knows who he is, but there's certainly no hint of a violation that occurred between the two. Much like with the JLA Classified: Ghosts of Mars comic, we're seeing the more controversial parts of Ma'al be removed in newer iterations of the character. Because it was never integral to either his character or J'onn's origin story.

I'd love to do a thorough analysis of Identity, since it is both an earnest attempt at revitalizing Martian Manhunter into a solo character while also being a showcase of common pitfalls writers run into when developing his character and world. BUT since this is a Ma'alefa'ak essay, that would be a huge tangent. So that concludes all of Ma'al's current comic appearances, time of writing. Just know that all the stuff we mentioned before about J'onn's lore accidentally recreating Krypton, Superman and Jor El are in this limited run as well.

Earlier in this essay I posed a question about Ma'al as a character; "what is the through-line of Ma'alefa'ak? What do writers decide to keep and re-invent about him? What makes Ma'al, Ma'al?" With the way Martian Manhunter struggles to get a footing in DC comics, it may look like we have an unsatisfying or incomplete answer to that question. When you look at the timeline of Ma'al's comic appearances, it's basically his initial origins, one revisit in a JLA comic, some mentions in other comics, and 2 Elseworld takes. That's not a lot of substantial iterations to see the character properly evolve past a reference. So what now?

This is where we must head into adapted media, because Ma'alefa'ak's story doesn't end with the comics. I think it's crucial to examine the way Ma'al has been adapted because we get to see writers look at the source material and decide which parts of him resonate with the stories they want to tell. It's where we can truly see what aspects of Ma'al endure with time. So join me as we look into the 3 cross-media adaptations of Ma'alefa'ak to finally figure out what is it about J'onn J'onzz's evil twin character that keeps him coming back. In another post!

#martian manhunter #ma'alefa'ak #j'onn j'onzz #media criticism #jesncin dc meta #ramblings #very long post! and of course pls be kind as always #idk how many ppl will read this one but it feels good to write a meta on a character so rarely discussed thoroughly

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ewingstan · 11 months ago

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any strong opinions on amy dallon

Feel like answering this is the equivalent of inviting a vampire into my home.

If this is just asking how I personally feel about Amy Dallon the character: I'd say she's among the strongest characters wildbow has written. She was used exceptionally well throughout Worm; in her initial interactions with Taylor, her smugness and petty insults help convince the reader to doubt the use of hero/villain as absolute markers of moral standing. As it goes on, and we see more of Amy's home situation, it becomes more clear how much Amy's haughtiness towards the villains comes from her insecurity; a desperate attempt to differentiate herself from them so that she can feel more like she belongs with the Dallons. It humanizes the heroes—stopping Ward from becoming a simple palette swap story where all the heroes are ontologically evil and the villains are brave noble freedom fighters—while making the hero/villain conceptual framework seem all the more ridiculous and destructive.

Later, around the same time Taylor is talking to Sabah and Lily about how "hero" and "villain" are just labels that don't determine one's morality, Amy is having the same realization—and panicking about it, because it means that being a hero doesn't mean she can't be the horrible person she fears she is. Because while she's figure out that hero/villain doesn't necessarily have any metaphysical weight, she's still sure that good person/bad person are clear ontological categories. And if being a hero doesn't just mean you're a good person, then she might really be the person her parent's treatment of her implies she is. She might actually be in danger of acting on those troubling thoughts that surely no good person would have.

In terms of her Ward stuff, I haven't gotten to the big things people had problems with so I can't comment too much. I think Ward Amy is effective as a villain in Victoria's story, but all the plot points of her allying with Goddess and taking command of the prisoners make sense only for a character whose the villain of Victoria's story, and don't make sense for Amy as we saw her in Worm. These plot points are working off the "person who thinks in terms of good and evil and is convinced she's evil" thing without addressing how by the end stage of worm, we'd seen her attitude had changed and that she'd started to move towards seeing people as not being inherently anything. Moreover, the writing kind of reaffirms the belief that some people are just bad people. I might not have that critique if there was more framing like "Amy is behaving this way because she's been told by everyone that she's villainous and so is falling into the expected role," but that's not really a thing in Ward. Hell, its less of a thing than it was in Worm.

There are shitty things Ward Amy does that I can get behind and say "yeah Worm Amy would do that," like going along with Carol's reconciliation plan and then running after Victoria when she leaves. Sure, she wants to resolve that, that's consistent with the original motivation of the wretchening incident. But most of the Amy writing after that, nah. I'm sympathetic to the "That's a different character" claims for everything past arc nine or so. That's her Noelle clone or something palling around with Goddess. Have Amy step out of the plot after the Dot interlude and ride off into the sunset, and let WB do a compelling pathetic-yet-very hatable villain with some other character.

If this is about recent intra-fandom stuff:

You can point out how a character is described in kinda racist language, both to criticize the text and to analyze what the story is doing with that character. Don't see how that's controversial, not sure how that got turned into "you're saying she's black". Authors making a white character read as bad or degenerate by describing them as sharing traits with black/brown stereotypes is a pretty common trope historically, its worth noting it when it happens.

And while I can see why people could get inspired by some aspect of how Amy is made to feel like a degenerate, and run with it by depicting her as literally dirty/pest-ridden or writing her with more taboo kinks, I don't think such depictions are beyond criticism. I might defend some of them on the basis of alternate readings of the character. If you're doing something with it, using Amy to explore something you're really interested in—there's at least a discussion to be had, and maybe something interesting would come if it. But you can't meet an honest critique of the ideas in your work, or a claim that they make already bad parts of her original depiction worse, by saying "its just a joke." Its art about Amy, there's gonna be ideas and messaging that goes along with it, even without you meaning to put them in. Don't fight that, embrace it! We'll all be better shitposters if we consider our shitposts worthy of critique.

#amy dallon #wildbow #parahumans #wardblr #wormblr #leo reads worm #leo reads ward #leo says

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ohpike-mycaptain · 1 year ago

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Shore Leave

Pairing: Captain Christopher Pike x Reader

Prompt: "Could you... hold my hand?"

Word Count: ~650

"Lieutenant?" Captain Pike questions when he catches you peeking around the corridor of the space port where the Enterprise is currently docked. "Is everything alright?" His voice is thick with amusement.

"Captain! Hi!" You wince when you hear how strained your voice sounds and it's almost an octave higher than usual. Great. Totally not suspicious. "I… uh…" Your thoughts trail off when you finally get a good look at him.

It's been a while since you've seen him dressed so casually. The henley he's wearing clings in all the right places and his blue eyes sparkle with a hint of mischief even as his posture straightens slightly in response to your nervousness. "I have seen you stare down the wrong end of a phaser without blinking, lieutenant. What part of shore leave could possibly have scared you?"

"I'm not scared. It's just…" You let out a sigh, trying not to get defensive because of some light-hearted teasing.

"It's just… what?" He says the last word in a hushed tone like you're about to confess some big secret as he steps closer to you.

"This is my home colony, sir, and my family came to welcome me back…" You try to look anywhere but at his face.

"We're off duty, you know you can call me Chris. And that sounds like a good thing. Or do you not like your family…?" He leans around the corner, not sure what, or who, exactly he's looking for.

"No, they're fine." You wave off his initial assumption. "They've never really been thrilled that I joined Starfleet, but it's not a big issue. Or at least, I didn't think so…"

Chris focuses back on you and tilts his head slightly, prompting you to continue.

"I figured they would try to convince me to stay and finally 'settle down' but apparently they brought my ex to help." You rub your temple, trying to soothe the headache you can feel starting. "I don't know why I can't make them understand that I'm happy where I am. I love exploring space, and I love the family I've found aboard the Enterprise even more." You blush and look away. You didn't mean to admit all of that.

Your heart skips a beat when warm hands settle on your shoulders and your attention snaps back to the captain as he starts to speak. "Would it help if I went with you to meet them?"

"You don't have to do that, Chris. I'm sure you have plans for your leave already." Energy sparks through your nerves as he slides his hands from your shoulders to your arms.

"I'd be happy to help if I can. I don't want to lose one of my favorite lieutenants. And you can pay me back by showing me around." He grins and your stomach flutters. "Now, I'll defer to your expertise, how do you want us to handle this?"

You consider your options. What would show your parents that you're happy in a way they will understand? "Could you… hold my hand? And maybe not mention our ranks?"

He smirks. "Oh, I can do better than that." Chris slides an arm around your waist, pulling you protectively into his side. "How is this?"

"Perfect." You reply quietly, taking a moment to cherish the embrace, wishing it wasn't just an act. "Thank you for this, Chris."

He ushers you around the corner and starts down the corridor. "Just point me in the right direction." He glances down at you and grins, the mischief returning to his eyes. "Depending on how this goes I might need your local expertise for the remainder of our shore leave."

You blush at the implication of spending your entire stay with Chris instead of your family. "I think I'd like that."

He laughs, head tilted back and you curl into his side. Maybe this shore leave won't be as bad as you thought.

#captain pike #captain pike x reader #captain christopher pike #captain christopher pike x reader #christopher pike x reader #christopher pike #captain pike imagine

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zetsubobu · 1 month ago

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Okay enough time as passed for me to properly think, time to do a long rant about oshi no ko's ending

Like wtf why was this so short?????? There are so many unadressed things left that we're just going to ignore????

Really????

I've said it before and I'll say it again but this story started going downhill the moment aqua revealed himself to be goro to ruby.

Okay so first of all, I actually do not mind that aqua died. I think it's an interesting way to end the story. My complaint comes from the fact that we didn't see the characters grieving properly.

This story did a better job at showing the characters grieving after ai than they did for aqua. What happened to "show, don't tell"?

Just showing like two or three panels of ruby crying isn't going to be enough my guy. Not to mention she literally got no dialogue besides saying bye to the reader. Everyone else besides kana too like how did miyako, mem or taiki grieve? They all just got one panel of them looking like :( and that's it.

Also ruby just becoming like ai is not exactly the best message to send to the readers. The story tries to paint lies as something bad but at the same time acts as if it's something good? Like "it's okay to lie if ruby is the one doing it", that's the message I'm getting from that chapter and the story overall. Not to mention they never bothered giving her an arc of realising that she is her own person and not sarina anymore like they did with aqua.

ruby suffered so much development and she only got worse as a character compared to where she was at the beginning.

Then there's kana. My poor girl got done so dirty by the plot. She was continuously taking L's in the plot and then finally the moment she got a chance to be with aqua and even being encouraged by the plot for a moment, it just got abruptly taken from her. I'd like to say that she got character assassinated because we never properly got the chance to see her blossom besides that stageplay and that was only in relation to her acting, not to her as a person. She's absolutely justified to react like that at aqua's funeral because that guy just took her important screentime moments with him into death. Justice for Kana honestly

Akane's overall plot was also a bit underwhelming like I do not understand what she did in the story besides spelling out clues for the reader. At first she said she'll help aqua kill hikaru, then she went back on it and said she will stop him for his safety and then suddenly at the end, she did literally nothing to stop him despite knowing what his plan was and suddenly complaining that aqua didn't let her help him kill hikaru????? Do you see how confusing that is??? She's like a flag in the wind that continuously changes directions.

Now onto hikaru. You'd think they atleast would try to explain the other culprits that were helping him out besides nino. But no, they just dropped that panel, hinting he had like 3 more helpers who each killed/got killed and just never adress it again? Who are these people??? I want to know who these other victims and helpers are. For example one of the helpers was hinted to be killed by the person they initially wanted to kill and that sounds so interesting but nope, never got adressed. Plus they could have atleast try to make hikaru seem like a good guy after that video tape for a little longer. 2 chapters is way too short.

also who's that girl that replaced kana in b-komachi? I want to know atleast a little about her too. It would have been so much cooler if it's a side character we met before in one of the earlier chapters but we didn't and it's just another one of the like 6 nameless new character that got shown in the last two chapters only to be never adressed again.

and then there's crow girl. I'm honestly very disappointed in her because I thought there was atleast a bigger reason as to why goro and sarina got reincarnated. Like "they lacked a mother figure and were nice to me" isn't a good reason to me. There are plenty of other people that could get reincarnated for that exact reason so why them specifically? I know the story said something like: goro got reincarnated so he could protect sarina, but that doesn't explain why she chose to reincarnate sarina. She wasn't the only sick patient in the hospital afterall. Plus she said so many things like "you're on the wrong path", "she's straying from her purpose" and I still don't understand what that purpose was. Is it ruby becoming ai's clone? Because that's what the story is hinting towards now.

I do not mind bad endings in a story (or rather, let's say unhappy endings) I think they have a charm of their own. But in this case there are so many things that never got adressed or properly developed that make it seem like the story got cut short before the supposed ending.

it reminds me a lot of pretty little liars where a lot of hints and plotpoints were shown by the plot only to be never adressed again. To me it just seems like the author was too focused on taking the reader by surprise just like in pll because there were so many times the story hinted at a specific ending like kana and aqua nearly starting dating and both of them got encouraged by everyone only for the story to take a sharp turn and go for the shock moment instead. It worked with ai's death but the story already went for so many "plot twists" that it started to get repetitive

tldr: to me, the story just got ended too quickly and it's obvious that:

the author got tired of it and just wanted to end it already, seemingly not caring about the message he would send with his ending

he wanted to please mengo who is apparently a fan of tragic endings like these

#ceces talk #ceces rants #oshi no ko #oshi no ko spoilers #onk #onk spoilers #ruby hoshino #aqua hoshino #ai hoshino #hikaru kamiki #kana arima #akane kurokawa

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markantonys · 1 year ago

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You know, considering the show only fans' reaction to the Seanchean, if they do put Mat and Tuon together, they're gonna have to give her and them a LOT and I mean A LOT of character development. Hell, I wouldn't be surprised if Tuon shows up already with thoughts and doubts about slavery. Cause there's simply no way people are gonna be okay with it.

yeah i really do not envy them having to figure out what to do here, because EVERYTHING about mat/tuon and about tuon as a character is a giant landmine. (even just with casting, because the Head Slaver being a black woman is 🥴 especially if we then get scenes of her having to be told by a white man that slavery is bad. but if you DON'T cast a black actor as tuon then you've whitewashed a book-canonically black character. tuon's character design is the kinda thing where rj was trying to go for a ~boundary-breaking role reversal~ but it just really isn't a good look, and i don't envy the show having to deal with his choices there.)

anyway, i'm really hoping for tuon to be introduced at least a season or two before she meets mat so that she can have some development before they even cross paths, let alone begin having romance. (similar to how elayne, aviendha, and min were all developed through non-rand characters this season, which was a great choice.) one idea i'm quite fond of* is tuon showing up in nynaeve and elayne's storyline in s3 in an egeanin-esque role (tho not exactly equivalent ofc given tuon's and egeanin's differences in status/life situation/etc), so then she unknowingly befriends and comes to respect 2 ~marath'damane~, thus she has to start rethinking some things about seanchan culture when she finds out her new buddies can channel. and in s4 maybe she can have some kind of invented plotline to keep her development moving along, and s5 might be the time for her to first meet mat, and they can spend seasons 6 AND 7 together with the romance being a very slow burn. if the show just has tuon show up in ebou dar straightaway with the initial invasion rather than in a second wave after mat's storyline's been left out of an entire book, then she can meet mat sooner and they can leave sooner and have more time to spend together.

rj could have pulled off mat/tuon if he'd introduced her way sooner and had left enough time for their relationship to develop naturally and for HER to develop naturally, rather than breaking mat's characterization to cram him into a rushed relationship it makes no sense for him to want to be part of at this point in time. in WH it really does feel like rj was planning a whole meaty character development arc for tuon, but then realized between books that he wasn't gonna have enough time for it in the main series and came up with the idea of the outriggers spinoff, and in COT suddenly we have tuon being a completely static character and mat replaced by a pod person who's obsessed with her and has completely changed his views on slavery.

but the show has the benefit of knowing the endpoint already, so hopefully they're already planning for how to make the mat/tuon romance feel more believable. i think the only 2 options are a) introduce tuon way earlier and give her a proper redemption arc, or b) make it a political marriage which mat is putting up with for the greater good but has 0 romantic interest in tuon. because yeah, mat falling in love with an unrepentant slaver would make him absolutely vile in the eyes of all viewers, especially after how hard the show went on showing the vileness of the seanchan in s2. show viewers will not have forgotten the torture egwene suffered by the time mat meets tuon as easily as so many book readers apparently did.

*i'm also very fond of the idea of tuon being introduced in seanchan proper because i spent the whole series expecting us to see seanchan proper and the court of the 9 moons etc and felt SO robbed that we never did, so i'd loooooove if the show took us there and had tuon leading a plotline there before she leaves for the westlands. but purely in terms of getting her to start rethinking the damane system early on, this scenario wouldn't be as useful as the one of her meeting nynaeve and elayne in the westlands.

and finally, it's very interesting that they killed off every single notable seanchan character from s2. this could mean that they didn't want to leave any loose ends because the seanchan will be entirely absent for the next season or two, ooooooooooooor it could mean that they wanted to clear the stage for tuon to step up as our major seanchan character in the next season or two.

#anonymous #answered #wot book spoilers #wot show spoilers

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berrypass-de-murdler · 3 months ago

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About the Murdle fandom. (long post)

I have made vent posts before, but this is less of a vent post and more of explaining the specifics of the situation, which I have not yet shared my perspective on publicly. I know it's a long post but please, please for my sake read it.

I joined Tumblr because I wanted to be a part of the Murdle fandom.

It started with Raven. She was the only person on DeviantArt (where I started) other than me who posted Murdle art, so I summoned the courage to talk to her. I'm glad I did. She ended up one of my best friends, not just in the fandom, but period.

After a while, I more or less left DeviantArt and moved entirely to Tumblr to focus on the Murdle cartoon. For a while, she was the only reader, until I was joined by RoyalleBlue, my best friend on Tumblr.

And I would also like to shoutout kirvee, electricskelecomics, foxglove.woods, and murdleandmarot for providing support

Raven invited me to the Detective Fanclub Discord server. I was extremely nervous coming in but was welcomed by electricskelecomics and a few others. I wasn't used to a public server and had intense anxiety, but was slowly warming up to talking.

Eventually I was comfortable enough to talk regularly about Murdle. Raven posted AU information about Logico, and I jokingly called her out for 'hurting my babi boi'. Another user suddenly publicly called me out for 'infantilizing' characters, completely humiliating me. They gave an indirect apology (through Raven) apologizing because they 'knew I was fragile'. I left the server, to then which a mod followed me to DMs and criticized me for leaving for a long while until I stopped responding and they finally let it go.

To this day I am very uncomfortable when the server is brought up and often fall into another depression cycle.

I generally felt better here on Tumblr. Even though I didn't get much attention, I still had Blue and Raven.

I however seemed to unknowingly be making an enemy. A prominent user in the Tumblr Murdle fandom who I had never spoken to directly but had still liked the posts of and who indirectly said I was 'very cool' at one point began completely avoiding me, although I'm not sure exactly when it started. Initially I figured they just didn't read the series, which is fine, but they also ignored my art while usually liking and reblogging every other Murdle art post. This kept increasing to the point where they no longer interacted with Blue simply for being friends with me, and refused to acknowledge art that I was even tagged in.

At this point I could tell that it was personal, and yet I still don't have the faintest idea of what caused the grudge, as again, I never spoke to this person. They blocked me at one point before unblocking me the next day (and still avoiding me). Eventually I couldn't take it anymore, I sent them one non-aggressive message explaining why I felt like I had to block them and did. It hurt me, because I knew this was a very nice person otherwise and someone I wanted to be friends with initially.

It doesn't matter if it's not direct, targeted avoidance hurts. Every time someone other than me, Blue, or Raven made a Murdle post now, I'd get a harsh reminder of the fact that I was being ignored on purpose.

The depression I've gotten from all this is more severe than one might expect. I just wanted to join a community with the people who also love my new favorite thing. Murdle was the only thing making me happy through a dark time, and now it just makes me think of the people who berated me on Discord and avoided me on Tumblr.

I hate thinking of the book like this. I find it, needless to say, amazing in every way which is why I dedicate so much time and effort to it. Designing characters isn't easy. Writing isn't easy. I only wanted some appreciation for my efforts. I don't mind if people aren't interested in the cartoon. But the personal offenses are getting to be too much.

Thank you for reading this. I want to be free to continue my work that I love making so much.

#murdle

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sleepyficss · 3 months ago

Note

hiiiiiii same taco loving girly girl as before. previous request was my first time sending a request to a blog like this and i do really like the post!!!!!!! super cute :3 romantic headcanons for taco regarding each of the five love languages? same concept for reader as before. please and thank you ueeeehhhhhhh

love languages.

taco x reader

authors note:

aghh i love writing about love languages, there's so much i could ramble about here. ty ty for another request !!! i'm glad you liked the other one – keep the good ideas coming!! /lh

words of affirmation

- this ones' first up!! i feel is very important to her.

- some days, she gets in stuck in her own head, and starts to convince herself that you aren't going to stick around forever. she gets scared that you'll decide that, no, you don't forgive her for her past actions; and that she'll lose you like mic, and pickle –

- taco definitely needs to hear your reassurance, reminding her that you wouldn't leave her willingly for any reason.

- let her know that you don't hold anything against her for her past actions, and nothing will change your current relationship with her <3

- taco also understands how other peoples' words/opinions may affect you.

- as previously mentioned, she knows how it feels to be scared of possible abandonment – she isn't afraid to talk you through it, and to let you know how much she loves you.

- reminds you constantly that she couldn't imagine being with anyone else, not that she'd want to be, either.

quality time

- taco has stated before, that she thinks better when she has another person to talk to.

- so, please PLS just sit down next to her, while she's working on a project, or even just playing a game like sudoku (she's such a nerd, did u see her calculating her fall into the water in s1?? & i mean that with pure affection LOL).

- it may even help her figure things out along the way if you ask her what she's making/planning/how to play, so she can explain it.

- you may end up sitting there having no clue what half the words she's saying are, but its the thought that counts!! just nod and smile, she's too buried in her own work to notice that you're completely lost.

- leaning against her on the couch while you watch television, or read a book, or literally anything!! just relax by chilling around with her.

physical touch

- you're looking at the most touch-starved object in existence here (mephones a close second, i won't lie).

- especially after s1, where she was alone for so long before making a series of even worse decisions, barely anyone even bothered to LOOK in her direction, much less interact with her.

- the first time you hold her hand, she's almost forgotten what it was like to feel the touch of someone that actually cared for her.

- taco is surprised by your touch, and you almost go to retract your hand out of fear that she isn't comfortable with it – she's quick to reach back for it though, quietly asking you to not let go.

- (now she won't ever let go of you, good luck! she's super glued your hands together.)

- jk jk. but she's so shy about any affection for a while, that you almost think she won't ever get used to it.

- but OH BOY. when she does get more comfortable with initiating it? taco becomes quite the flirtacious menace.

- she's learnt of the affect she has on you, originally with just her voice (don't lie, she could say 'hello' to me, and i'd swoon), but now her touch? she loves seeing you flustered.

acts of service

- one of taco's greatest skills is her problem solving abilities, so she won't hold back when trying to come up with solutions to any of the issues you confide in her.

- especially after all you've done for her, trusting her, staying with her, and loving her, despite everything she's done?

- will do anything just to see a smile on your face (if not because she loves you, then to make herself feel more confident in believing that you do love her, but she won't admit that to you – she knows you'll scold her for it).

- she does really appreciate if you try to do the same to her, whether its trying to help her with an issue she's having, or if its just making a cup of tea for her.

- taco isn't used to it, as she doesn't usually get any sort of help from others unless they're getting something out of it. she almost expects you to want something in return, but is happily surprised when she is told otherwise.

gift-giving

- she already finds joy in inventing things, so its even better when she's able to to make something for you!!

- always tries to make it something you'll find useful, like... ..

- if you get overwhelmed by sounds easily? she's made you a pair of noise cancelling earbuds that can be easily hidden from view!

- or, she'll take apart and analyse the bowtie she took from test tubes lab, just to make a second one for you to match with her! except, depending on your style, it may be a hair accessory, jewellery, etc. instead!

- (i can imagine you convincing her to pull harmless pranks on the others with the invisibility ability – it reminds her of how silly she used to act in s1... and how much fun she used to have with pickle.)

- in turn, taco cherishes literally ANYTHING you give to her. whether its an expensive item you bought, or a hand-made gift.

- she totally keeps all of it too, including holiday cards, somewhere safe, and she likes to pull them out and look through everything if she's ever missing you :(

- but she would be so devastated if any of it ever got lost or ruined, depending on how much it matters to her, she may even end up crying.

- in general, i think taco's main love languages are for sure words of affirmation & acts of service.

- she's not quite used to showing her love to others, but she'll do anything she can to make sure you know how she feels about you <3

#inanimate insanity #ii taco #inanimate insanity taco #inanimate insanity taco x reader #inanimate insanity x reader #taco x reader #ii taco x reader

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sickness-health-all-that-shit · 4 months ago

Text

thank you @callivich for sharing the idea of making fic dvd commentaries! I thought I'd give it a go 🥰 @shamelessdvdcommentary

Broken things

summary: When Lip brings home an advanced android in order to test it for the company he works for, Ian doesn't know what to make of him. MIK-940810, or Mickey, seems virtually indistinguishable from a human being, throwing Ian for a loop as he feels an undeniable connection to the android. Their relationship deepens when Ian finds out about something that Mickey has been keeping from Lip and the people who built him.

There’s a faint blue light shining from the place where Lip’s thumb rests for about two seconds. Ian’s expecting some kind of whirring noise, like when you turn a computer on, but there’s just silence.

And then suddenly the blue eyes come alive.

some stats: I started writing this about a year ago, as part of the latest shameless big bang and finished it around january this year. it's a multichapter of about 28k words divided into 8 chapters

What was the initial inspiration for your story?

probably something I was watching at the time. I love sci-fi! I think I would've had the initial idea in the spring of 2023 and then let it marinate for a while, until the big bang came a-knocking lol. I'm pretty sure it was always gonna be android!Mickey and human Ian, and when I remembered Lip's canon interest in robotics it all started slotting into place for me

If the story is written from a character’s POV, why did you choose this character?

like I said it was always gonna be android!Mickey and I really wanted to explore Ian trying to figure out what made him tick and questioning what makes us human in the first place

What was your favourite scene to write?

probably their initial conversation when Ian asks all sorts of questions that make his brain explode more and more, while Mickey sort of watches him spiral and just seems to have an obvious answer for everything lol. that and the scene where Mickey heavily flirts with an increasingly flustered Ian, that was a lot of fun

How did you come up with the title?

one of the main themes of the fic is the coming together of these two individuals who meet at a time when they both needed it because they were feeling broken, for different reasons. there's a parallel especially between Ian's relationship with his bipolar disorder and Mickey's feeling that he's malfuctioning as an android and that he'll be seen as a broken toy. in both cases it's because of heightened emotions compared to what's considered 'normal', but they heal each other throughout the fic and overcome that sense of brokenness together

Are there any little moments or references you hope readers will notice?

hopefully all the little references and parallels to canon! (things like Mickey's serial number for instance) I had a lot of fun with those, it was like winking at my fellow fans like 'get it? it's like in the show!' lol

Was there anything you struggled to write? If so, how did you overcome this?

I struggled a bit with the resolution of the main conflict/angst, especially explaining how Lip suddenly decides to help them in the end, after being a dick for most of the story lmao. hopefully it doesn't feel that sudden or rushed, but yeah. I still think about it at times lol

Favourite line in the story?

“Well, ask away, doc. You studyin’ human anatomy all day, right? Bet you’re curious as fuck to know all the ways they replicated that shit in this hot little android body o’ mine.” - like I said, I really enjoyed Mickey shamelessly flirting xD

Did the storyline change in any way as you wrote the story?

I just checked my original (handwritten) outline, and I think I had meant to make Ian catch on more to the fact that Mickey is a different type of android, even with Lip's reassurances, but I think in that version he ended up being suspicious in a way that didn't gel with his blossoming feelings for Mickey, and maybe as a result I made Ian a little bit more unsure of himself, which goes back to him feeling broken because he feels like he can't trust his brain too much. also when I was still gathering my ideas for the story I initially thought Mickey might turn out to have memories of a human Mickey Milkovich who had died, but I scrapped that because I wanted this Mickey to be the real Mickey, android or no

If you are writing a particular trope or genre, was it your first time writing this?

I'd definitely never written sci-fi or an android fic before! I might delve more into science fiction in the future though, who knows 😌

What are you most proud about in the story? (plot, characterisation, dialogue, twist/cliffhanger, etc)

overall plot and dialogue, probably. I'm really proud of how I developed my original idea, and some of the lines still make me laugh (or cry)

Are there any deleted scenes that didn’t make it to the final story?

going back to my original outline, I apparently had a whole chapter that never came to be? here's what I'd written down: "Lip's boss shows up at the house. Mickey needs to pretend to be a regular android despite his anger. Ian defends Mickey. The police gets called. They have to make a run for it." maybe this would have helped the resolution feel less rushed/anti-climactic but it also seemed to complicate things a bit too much for my taste, so it got scrapped

Would you ever write a sequel to this story?

I think the epilogue leaves things in a good enough place!

Were you nervous or excited to post this story?

both!! but more excited overall, I think. it's probably my favourite story I've written

Ask your followers to pick a snippet (no more than 500 words) and share your thoughts about it.

please!!!! I will love you forever <3

this was great, I highly recommend it to all writers 🥰

#shameless dvd commentary #gallavich fic #fic stuff

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twistthescript · 5 months ago

Text

Exploring The Warehouse: Reader Perspective vs Character Perspective, and Insight on the New Chapter

We'll see just how much of this post turns into actual words rather than a messy ramble.

<><><><><><><>

Anyways, I've taken a few days to look back at my Warehouse AU in an effort to figure out where I want to take the story from here. This whole series has been figured out with the help of a few friends of mine way before my brain could comprehend every miniscule detail. Which is wonderful, except I have a mess of a web in my head- and an even messier web tucked somewhere in my google docs.

What it all means to me: This series will be a definite slow build, because cramming too many details into a one-shot or mini-multi-chapter will probably kill the idea before it gets a chance to flourish. I'd hate to say it, but I have yet to fully introduce all of the characters... and a story needs its protagonists, antagonists, and extras.

Besides, I think y'all might throw some Lego's out on the floor for me to step on if I don't include our beloved orange feline friend, Birthday. You'll see him soon, I promise.

In the meantime, I'd like to let you in on a few behind the scenes tidbits from the latest chapter of KARNAK! He Sees the Future! (But Not Anymore...). This chapter, I dutifully titled 'Intermission'; I was initially hoping to have it out before June Doe, but I started that challenge a bit late and I had to just put a hiatus on Exploring The Warehouse.

Over 75% of the chapter was typed and ready... but I wasn't happy with it... so I never got it done. But there are certainly things that I can't wait to talk about, such as Ricky, Jane, and Karnak's Box.

We will also see a little bit of the readers perspective, too- which is definitely something that has been the driving force behind KARNAK! I wanted to play with the concept of allowing the reader to know something before the characters, left to watch as the chaos happens before them; And while the fic certainly isn't my most popular one, it has served its purpose and done just that.

Keep an eye out for 'Intermission'... very soon.

#ao3 #my fanfiction #fanfiction #ride the cyclone #thoughts #mini ramble #rtc #TwistTheScript's Warehouse AU

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honey-beann · 1 year ago

Text

I'd Burn Every Soul I Knew (If I Thought the Fire Was Warming You)

rk boys (Nines, Connor, Sixty) x Reader

Chapter "Three" - Burn Your Fears

Word Count: 2,583

Note: This chapter takes place immediately after chapter "one".

So, if you read them in the order posted (as initially intended) it would be "one", then "two", and finally "three". If you were to read them in chronological order, however, then it would be "two", then "one", and finally "three".

This may seem complicated, but I promise it's easy to understand when reading the series :)

"Yes?"

Sixty answered the phone as casually as possible, though he could tell from the way your breaths paused that you had already identified that it was Connor's voice coming from the other end of the line.

''Is she still up?"

The eldest android asked, somehow sounding tired even for a being who lived sleeplessly.

Sixty glanced over in your direction before answering, his tone slightly exasperated

"Do you really think she could sleep right now?"

Connor sighed but neglected to argue, his voice almost sounding relieved as he spoke,

"No, I suppose not. Do you think she's well enough to come down in an hour or two?"

Sixty glanced toward you again, taking in your pale complexion and the way your body looked all too wilted and fragile beneath your favorite blanket

"No, but I know that she will if that's what you're really asking."

It was.

Connor sighed again,

"They need to talk to the listed owner about Nines' injuries. They won't communicate with me much beyond asking questions, and they've started to request the presence of the human he's registered to."

Now it was Sixty's turn to sigh as he leaned his head back against the couch, staring up at your high ceiling as if deep in contemplation.

"In that case, what other choice do we have? She'll be there, just let me make her dinner and help her get ready."

He muttered, clearly none too happy with the circumstances at hand.

"Alright then. I'll see the two of you later on in the evening."

Sixty could tell from the tone that Connor addressed him with that the android was unimpressed, more than likely because of the fact that you still had yet to eat dinner, but he opted to ignore the judgemental bite to his predecessor's words for your sake.

You disliked it when they quarreled, even under normal circumstances.

So, instead of replying, Sixty just hung up.

Once the call was finished, the android in question could all but sense your curiosity, though in typical him fashion, he neglected to speak on his previous conversation in favor of simply standing up without a word and walking toward the kitchen to look for something you might be willing to eat.

"Six?"

You called out hesitantly, following him with your blanket still wrapped tightly around your shoulders as you made your way over to the breakfast bar, where the android was clearing off a portion of the counter.

He tapped his hand against the back of the chair in front of the now cleaned space expectantly,

"If you want me to tell you what any of that was about, you'll have to help me figure out what to make you for dinner first. We can talk about it once you've eaten some."

You looked displeased about this, but did as he said regardless, climbing up into the high seated chair as you watched him begin to search the cabinets and cupboards for something to make, only to ultimately give up on whatever he was finding there and switch his attention to the fridge.

That was where he found the soup.

He pulled out the round Pyrex container and presented it to you, eyebrow raised in silent question.

It was something you'd had for either lunch or dinner a few days back, and although he knew you'd enjoyed it, you seemed to hesitate.

Sixty grew annoyed for the briefest of moments, struggling to comprehend why you were reacting in the manner that you were until he remembered who had actually made the soup.

Nines.

This wasn't at all atypical of the android, since he was always so focused on your nutrition, but Sixty could tell that you were struggling to grapple with the concept of eating the leftovers in spite of this, since as far as you knew, if you ate that soup now, it could very well be the last time that you ever consumed a meal prepared by Nines' hands.

Sixty sighed and leaned against the counter, bringing your attention away from the food option and back to him once more.

"Hey,"

He began, reaching across the granite to tuck a piece of still wet hair behind your ear.

"It's just soup. He can make you more whenever you want."

You shook your head at that, clearly wishing to protest but not daring to open your mouth and speak for fear of the tears that had formed a film over your eyes spilling if you did.

Sixty frowned slightly, but nodded despite your insistence that he was wrong,

"He can and he will. There is immensely little that could stop him from giving you whatever it is that you want."

You gave a short and sad sounding laugh at that,

"No."

You said simply, tears beginning to fall as Sixty watched on helplessly, never able to soothe you in the way that his counterparts always seemed to so easily.

Useless machine, always lesser than the others. How had he ever been allowed to be your sole caretaker, even for just one evening?

"If he could give me what I want-"

You broke off with a sob that seemed to wrack your frame, sending you into a coughing fit that sounded so heart-wrenchingly familiar to Sixty that it sparked fear in his chest, a feeling which instantly had him rushing to your side in spite of how unprepared he'd felt previously, his hand firm against your lower back.

He was not nearly as capable of supporting the weight of your emotions as the others, but he could carry the burden of your body a thousand times over until those physical ailments left you be.

He had done it before, and he would gladly do it again.

It was, after all, what he was made to do.

He watched intently, eyes glued to your form in search of spasms or other concerning movements, until your coughing subsided and you tried to get your words out once more, tears of both physical pain and sadness dripping down your cheeks.

"If he could give me what I want, then he would be here right now."

You whispered hoarsely, body shaking and breaths wheezing in your chest, causing Sixty to lightly pat against your back before he moved to make you a cup of tea the way that Connor always did when you got like this.

There was a heavy silence as Sixty prepared the warm beverage for you, his eyes refusing to meet yours whilst he considered over and over what he could possibly say to take this pain away from you.

Never before had he been forced to worry about your emotions so deeply impacting your physical health. In the past, Nines and Connor had always been there to ensure that your overwhelming feelings couldn't get the better of you, while Sixty had managed your presenting symptoms to the best of his ability (with their continued support).

Except now he was alone, and his knowledge of your body seemed to do nothing to ease your suffering.

You would get no better here as long as the four of you were separated, so, armed with that knowledge, Sixty grabbed a sleeve of crackers from the cabinet alongside the soup you wouldn't eat, and tossed them both into a tote bag that had been folded atop the counter before ushering you into your room for a change of clothing whilst he went to light the fire pit.

If he could do nothing else, than he would get you dressed, burn your fears, and load you into the car.

If Nines was what you wanted, then as soon as Sixty could manage it, Nines was what you would get.

After all, contrary to the belief that you and his "siblings" held, he was never any better at denying you than either of the others were.

He had just been better at pretending.

So, after you had changed into clothing that, though far less comfortable, made you much more presentable and your story a lot more believable, Sixty brought you outside to the raging fire he had built in your honor, and then he watched carefully as you threw your thirium stained clothes into it, the flames dancing in your eyes as it consumed those physical manifestations of your grief and terror right before them.

The two of you stood there, with your wet hair drying in the dying firelight, until you told Sixty that you were ready to leave, and he promptly stomped it out without a word.

If you felt prepared enough, then it was time.

The drive over the the technician center was long, just under an hour, and though Sixty tried to ignore it, he could see you shivering in the seat beside him.

Fear and pain had sunk into nearly every fiber of your being, and it seemed that the only possible cure that still remained was the knowledge that nothing was over yet.

You were not any closer to alone now than you were earlier that morning, or a few days prior when Nines had rushed out the front door.

All Sixty needed to do to help you feel better was prove that to you.

At least, that was what he told himself to keep from frying his wires with concern.

After a few minutes of watching you all but wither away in the passenger seat beside him, the android wordlessly reached into the backseat of your sedan, finding the tote bag he had brought along with ease before he pulled the sleeve of crackers out and handed them to you.

"Eat."

He ordered sternly, though in spite of his best efforts, his undertone made it clear that this was far more of a plea than it was a command.

He harbored a tremendous amount of worry for you and your health, and no matter how hard he tried, it seemed as though he just couldn't hide it tonight.

But how could he when every passing moment seemed a threat to your stability, and in turn, his as well?

You were a precious, fragile little thing, after all, and he and his counterparts existed solely to keep you with them.

Perhaps once upon a time it had simply been their mission to ensure that you remained living...

But things had changed since then.

Now, you not only needed to kept alive because it was their purpose,

But also because they would tear the entire world asunder if they ever had to endure losing you.

They would not be deprived of what was theirs,

In some ways, Sixty least of all.

Though maybe that was because he felt he owned the smallest portion of you,

As if he had yet to earn his third.

As if you were not already just as much his as you were Connor's and Nines'.

You would never cease begging to differ.

When you finally arrived at the android care center, it was late, 11:00pm, and raining so hard that your companion had insisted upon holding his coat over you as you'd rushed your way over to the covered entrance, where you hesitated briefly before slowly pushing open the door.

Sixty was sure that you would hate it in here, that the smell and the environment would remind you of all of the things that you wished to forget, like that chemical scent of thirium, or the way that your beloved androids had once been. Cold, uncaring, unopinionated, and so very far from alive.

But somewhere in this godforsaken building filled more with life essence than actual life itself, was your Connor and your Nines, the latter of which you had last seen within an inch of his life,

And you would be damned if you did not have them both with you again soon.

So, you entered the main office area, the sound of machinery heavy and loud even just from down the hall, and you approached that half circle front desk until a receptionist, human, much to your surprise, looked up at you, meeting your gaze briefly before looking over toward Sixty, cocking a brow, and then looking back to you once more.

The android could answer nothing for you here, because in a place like this, he was not supposed to be in control.

This was your situation to deal with, your problem to manage, and as much as you missed the feeling of those three firm hands of certainty holding steady to your fears in that familiar way you'd grown accustomed to, you had gone far too long without them to be unable to function in their absence.

"Can I help you?"

The woman asked politely, eyes moving back and forth between you, your rather mean looking android, and her computer over and over again as she attempted to focus both on you and the other duties of her job at the same time.

You nodded in response.

"I was asked to come in to speak with someone about my android?"

Your voice was hesitant as you spoke despite how certain you were that you were in the right place, but thankfully, the receptionist didn't seem to care.

She gave a hum at your words, clearly having expected a scenario like this one.

It was rather likely after all, that they called people in often.

"Alright then. Would you mind telling me what model your android is as well as the serial number associated with it?"

You shook your head,

"No, of course not. He's an rk900 model who was brought in earlier this evening. His serial number is 313-24-"

"Oh! So you're the owner of the rk900 prototype model that came in damaged today?"

You hesitated to answer a question that phrased your relationship to Nines as his "owner", but nodded nonetheless.

"Ah I see, in that case, are you also the owner of the rk800 model that later arrived to answer questions?"

You responded far quicker this time, now a bit more expectant of the unintentionally disrespectful phrasing, and a lot more prepared to ignore it entirely in favor of moving forward with the process of seeing your androids again as quickly as possible.

"I am. My apologies for not coming in sooner, but-"

"Oh no worries."

The woman cut you off with a smile,

"We understand that someone important enough to have access to never before seen android models would be busy, we just needed to make sure we got your name on file and received in-person consent to utilize some temporary parts until we can special order the ones your rk900 requires from Cyberlife."

You nodded, but Sixty could see how upset you'd become at the mention of Nines being in such rough condition that he would need to have some parts replaced.

"So, now that you're here we'll get that special order squared away, but before that, is there a card we can we bill the charge to? Or, if you have a Cyberlife account we could try to search you up via last name and use the card on file if that might be easier?"

You nodded,

"I'd prefer it if you charged my account."

The woman smiled,

"Certainly, and to what last name should I attach this bill?"

She asked, her hands poised to type above her ergonomic keyboard.

You gave an ever so slight sigh, one that only a being as observant as Sixty could have noticed, and then replied,

"Kamski, please. K-a-m-s-k-i."

masterlist

AO3

#dbh x reader series #dbh connor x reader #dbh nines x reader #dbh sixty x reader #rk900 x reader #dbh x reader #s: I'd Burn Every Soul I Knew (If I Thought the Fire Was Warming You)#dbh series 0 cop edition

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stupidlittlespirit · 14 days ago

Note

sex work depiction anon here! i have a couple of things to say

1. this was honestly GREAT adivce! especially the part where you highlighted "the people who are forced are sex trafficking victims". you worded my thoughts in a way i couldnt possibly think about myself. my original idea was reader starts doing sex work so she can pay for college and then ends up liking it, but idk, it felt so... shallow??? this is why i think the best way to research for writing is talking and asking people who deal with that reality in a daily basis. anyway...

2. the champagne carpet thing is genius! this is the kind of thing you can only figure out when talking to people, this is why I like to do it so much. you don't find this kind of thing on google!!!

3. i think you are a writing goddess and your offer to beta my work had me MELTING on the chair at my work. i feel SO FUCKING FLATTERED, too bad it is not for mob psycho nor gf. just know you made my day just with this offer

4. i did not intend to write a gravity falls fanfic but DAMN i really wanna stral your idea and write a fic for stan where he tries to trick reader into quitting this job and live with him (but he falls short, ofc) BUT I'M NOT FUNNY ENOUGH. god im not nearly as talented as i need to be to pull this off 😭

thank you so much for your time and for caring so much about my ask. once i develop the plot a bit more i'll definitely come back and ask you a couple more things (if you dont mind, of course). it means the world to me, truly

No problem dude!

I mean, choosing to get into sex work to pay for college and then liking is actually really common! I don't think that's a bad motivation at all. I know lots of people who have done similar, or who have wanted to do further study (Masters, PhD etc) and used sex work to finance that. I think it would be weird if it was like a 'debt sharks are knocking on my door and I have no other choice' kind of thing, because then that leans into more of the 'being forced' vein, if that makes sense?

Yeah the champers carpets were great lol truthfully a real Moment for science. I still don't even know if it really works, but management told me that was the case and they didn't ever smell boozy or anything so who knows.

Ahhhh thank you haha! If you do write the Stan one then please feel free to let me know, I'd love to help! I'm sure you'd do wonders with it! Dialogue is hard to get down sometimes, though, I feel you on that. If you'd like a good movie/series of scenes to get an idea on how a convo like that might take place (or really how any creep/Captain talks to a stripper), check out Closer (2004). It has Natalie Portman in it and she plays a dancer who has lots of interactions in those kinds of themes. It might be of use! I forgot to mention it in the initial ask, sorry lol.

And no problem at all. Thanks for asking it, honestly. I really appreciate you caring enough to want to give good representation. That doesn't happen very often at all so it means a lot! Feel free to hit me up any time :) <3

#asks #anon

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spacequokka · 1 year ago

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Page 270

Pairing: vamp!Jinki x Reader Genre: Vampire AU, Fluff Rating: PG Summary: Jinki has a surprise for his favorite human. Word Count: 0.9k Warnings: None, really. Blood drinking mentioned but not done.

A/N: Happy birthday to one of the cutest leaders I know <3

No matter how many times Jinki ran his hands over his cream slacks, he couldn't get rid of the sweaty palms sensation. Sure, his body hadn't produced sweat in centuries but that fact did little to the feeling go away.

Today was the day.

All the paperwork was done. Any registration fees were paid. He just needed to ask you. Make it official on paper.

A quick glance at his watch reminded him that you should be getting off the bus soon. He took a deep breath and exhaled slowly.. Everything would be alright. Even if you rejected his request, it wouldn't be the end of the world.

You knocked on the door lightly. It'd be difficult, if not impossible, for other people to hear it, but you knew he could be deep in his basement and still pick up the sound. He opened the door and smiled. "____, welcome."

You smiled sweetly and stepped inside. "The storm's starting to kick up. I brought my overnight bag, just in case." You held up the leopard print backpack. "Hope that's okay."

He nodded and closed the door. "Of course it is. I prefer it over traveling so late."

You laughed. "Somehow I knew you'd say that." You stepped close and poked his cheek, eyeing the reaction of his skin. "Hm, you're a little dryer than usual." You stepped back and peeled off your scarf and coat. "Have you been overdoing it again?"

He avoided your perceptive gaze. "It couldn't be helped. I needed to pickup documents and return them as quickly as possible."

You sighed and turned on your heel. "Then we should go ahead and get started." You beckoned him to follow with a few curls of your finger. Like a lovesick puppy, his feet obeyed. It wasn't until you pulled your shirt collar away from your throat that he even noticed you were seated, waiting for him to drink his fill.

"Oh, no." He shook his head to clear away the fog. "I wanted to talk with you first."

"Oh?" You blinked then let go of your shirt. "What about? Is it my work schedule? I can request to get off earlier, but I'm not sure my boss will allow it."

"Well, yes but not exactly." He went to his desk and plled out the contract he picked up from H&V Resources. "You made a comment last month about how it'd be easier to be a live-in donor--"

"You glanced at him then at the papers in his hand before jumping to your feet. "Is that--" Fear and sorrow flowed from your pores like a thick, bitter syrup completely unlike your usual light floral scent. "Oh. I-I didn't mean to upset or offend you. It's just been a mess at work and being with--I'm mean, around you--Oh, God. Please don't fire me--"

He shushed you with a cold fingertip against your trembling lips. "I wouldn't dream of it." When he was certain you'd calmed down, he held up the papers. "It took me a while to get permission and the permits, but I'd like to ask you to be my personal live-in donor."

Your jaw dropped.

"As you said then, it'd be much easier if you lived here with me." He gestured to your surroundings. "I have plenty of space. I'm offering a six-figure salary as well as health and life insurance." He passed the papers to you.

"Mr. Lee, that's a lot of money."

"I realize that. That's why I hoped to have you take on the role as my personal assistant with my company as well. You could help me avoid 'overdoing it,' as you say. It'd benefit you as I wouldn't need to feed as often." When that thoughtful look settled on your face as you flipped through the pages, the sweaty palms came back. He shoved his hands into his pockets. "Feel free to take your time to look over--"

"Where's a pen?" You searched the top of his desk and found one. Before he thought to stop you, you were going through and signing and initialing wherever highlighted.

"I-I thought you'd want to take your time to read it thoroughly." It was a lot to process given all the disastrous ways he imagined things turning out.

"It's a no-brainer. I hate my other job and we get along great. On top of that, you're essentially offering a way to turn my life around. Even one year working for you would pay off my debts." Your words were rushed and your hand shook as you blitzed through the contract. "Imagine me being able to lease a car!"

Your happiness was contagious, treating him to a richer flavor of your scent he'd never experienced. "I'd be happy to help you get a car. I could also loan you one of mine as a company car."

You paused and looked at him with a mixture of shock and glee. "I've never had a car with a company car before." Doubt flittered through your mind. "Are you sure you want me for this?" Worry filled your eyes and it melted his heart.

"____, dear. May I be brutally honest with you?" When you nodded he took one of your hands in his. "You are one of the most brilliant, endearing, and compassionate people I've ever met. There's no one else I trust, or want, to give this position to."

"Thank you so much." You blushed then returned to the contract. You scribbled your name on the final page and handed the stack to him. "It'll be a pleasure living with you."

He chuckled and accepted the contract. "I'm almost positive the pleasure will be all mine."

#shinee drabbles #onew drabble #jinki drabble #shinee fluff #onew fluff #jinki fluff #onew x you #onew x reader #jinki x you #jinki x reader

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sadteacherspet · 6 months ago

Text

So I Wrote Down My Story.

(TW/CW: Inappropriate TC Dynamics)

I am now 28, and this all happened when I was a young teen. It kind of consumed the majority of my adolescence and early 20s, so I felt like the best thing I could do was write it down.

For context I had a very chaotic/troubled home life. I lacked guidance and validation from the adults in my life, and I had issues with my father at this time in particular.

It was a new school year, and we had a new young English teacher, 27 going on 28. Let's call him Mr. J.

We did ice breaker activities and I received cute little notes back on my worksheet because I talked about my music interests, and it turned out that we had stuff in common. Something about him was funny and a little weird. He wasn't particularly attractive, but I was just strangely fascinated by him, and I wanted to be his friend.

I was pretty rambunctious, known for being loud and quirky, so I turned it into a mission.

I did exceptionally well in his class and became a teacher's pet pretty quickly. I realized that I wanted to become a writer, and he really motivated me. I was also a fast reader, so he'd lend me books out of his personal library and I would report back a few days later with my little reviews on them.

I sat right in front of his desk, with my desk pushed up against it. Sometimes I organized and tidied up his desk, helped myself to his grapes, sat in his chair. I was a bit of a brat, and I knew I could get away with it too.

And things were falling apart at home, so I confided in him. I started spending my lunch periods in the classroom where I was able to vent, and I found out that he dealt with similar issues. He gave me the best advice, and I felt like I was able to relate to him. It started turning into a crush.

Then I started coming in early to school, and staying a little late after just to linger around.

In a sneaky move, I stole his number off a contact sheet and texted it, pretending to be someone else as a prank. He thought I was an adult with the wrong number, and I managed to get his AIM. We started chatting on AIM but eventually he figured me out.

Initially, he was worried that he would get in trouble. Eventually, he let up and it got to a point where I'd get a haircut over the weekend, and he'd ask me on the following Monday why I didn't text him about it. He ruffled it and told me it looked good.

We still chatted on AIM occasionally, but he always reminded me to be careful. He only wanted to be a "cool teacher" who was friends with his students.

Then he started an after-school drama club, so I joined to be able to spend more time with him.

We played around a lot. I'd swipe his seat once he stood up and he'd sit on me in retaliation. To compromise, we'd share the seat, side by side, hip to hip. Sometimes when I was texting a friend, he would check his phone out of anticipation, thinking I was texting him.

We decided to start a band with another student, a boy, and we spent lunch periods practicing in the classroom. Then I walked into class one day with a new CD on my desk as a little gift.

We started getting closer and touchier. In drama club, we goofed off and I pulled off his tie. Some other kid thought it would be funny to blindfold him with it, and I dragged him with it towards a closet. He stopped at the door, and that was that. Afterwards, he offered to walk me home from school.

Sometimes he offered to buy me snacks after school from the corner store, and he wanted to give me his old bike but I would have had to go pick it up from his apartment.

One day, something large and important of his was stolen, so I rallied everyone together and crowdfunded a replacement. It was a grand gesture on my part, and he was very grateful.

We started hanging out outside of school. We had band practice at his apartment, me and the other boy. I sat next to him and I leaned my knee against his, but he pulled away (much to my disappointment). Afterwards, he bought us pizza.

I was very openly flirtatious and obvious about my crush, but we had to have a few cautious talks about how "there are other fish in the sea." He shut me down quite a bit and it was pretty discouraging, but I had fun chasing him. Sometimes it seemed like he gave in a little, so I kept being persistent.

In the summer, he took walks with me and maybe two other kids, and we stopped at a café to split a slice of cake. We got ice cream and I stole a spoonful of his while he stole a spoonful of mine.

He invited me and that other boy out to the movies once. The boy declined, but the offer still stood for me. I couldn't go, but I think about what it would have been like if I had. The two of us, alone at the movies.

He let me play with his hair and beard, I got my hugs and head pats and arm rubs, and he helped me put my necklace on. He asked me to check his shirt size once because I asked about it, and I remember being nervous about leaning in closely to flip out the back of his collar.

He'd playfully lean in towards my face and pull away, and he pretended to bully me by grabbing my backpack and threatening to push me down the stairs. I'd slap him jokingly too, and I swiped his binder off his desk but returned it the next morning. We bickered and bantered. I was endlessly snarky and took everything as a challenge.

He did say we might have known each other in a past life, maybe as caterpillars or Bonnie and Clyde or two boys during the Great Depression.

"It would be cool if you were my daughter. It would be weird, but we'd both enjoy it." Whatever that meant.

In an act of fake-bullying, he wrapped his hands around my throat to play-choke me. It seemed like it was supposed to be like Homer and Bart Simpson, but it was much slower than that, and he whispered closely, "Is this okay? I can k*ll you, huh?" -- His humor was always weird, and the fake-bully thing was an ongoing inside joke, but this felt a little ... intimate.

As a teen with raging hormones, I hate to say that it unlocked a new kink for me.

At a neighborhood party, he offered to crack peoples' backs, and cracked mine, standing behind me, lifting me up and leaning me backwards onto him (like this.)

Later on, looking through his personal bookshelf, I stumbled upon Lolita. I picked it up, but he snatched it out of my hands and told me I shouldn't read it.

Eventually, I graduated and I wrote him silly love poems at the end of the year. I told him I loved him, and he said it back, though he probably meant it differently.

At the time, I made jokes with my friends about him being a creep but it genuinely felt like my flirting was being reciprocated. In a way, a part of me still recognized that it was not normal and inappropriate, even though it thrilled me.

He was so important to me, and I leaned on him for so much. He grew incredibly distant after I graduated, he got married and had kids and was busy all the time. I felt like I needed him, but I also felt like I was intruding. He always had a thoughtful response to my emails, and continued giving me great advice well into my 20s, but he felt so far away. If we were so fated to become friends like he said we were, then why weren’t we anymore?

Eventually, I decided to "break up," because I felt like I was stuck. I felt like a weirdo for leaning on him for way too long, and I felt like I was too old for it. I guess it was really confusing, feeling so close and so intimate, to becoming strangers who dropped in via sporadic emails. I kind of felt crazy, as if I made it all up in my head. Like I wasn't as important to him as I had originally thought, and maybe I'd read way too deep into everything that happened because I wanted to see reciprocation. My biggest fear was that I was coming off like a creep or a delusional stalker who couldn't grow up.

But I know that all of these things happened because I am a data hoarder, and I have kept AIM logs dating back to the late 2000s. Every time something "significant" happened between us, I gushed about it in excitement to my friends. Conversations like, "OMG you'll never guess what happened today, Mr J SAT ON MY LAP because we fought over a chair lol!"

And I doubt he remembers any of it, or the impact it had on me and why.

I've gone over it endless times, trying to figure out if he was a good guy or a bad guy, and maybe I'm still not sure. I definitely think he had some poor judgement.

As I got older, it messed with my taste in men. I chased similar dynamics and found myself in seedy situations. And some consider it gr**ming, but is it really gr**ming when nothing explicitly happened? It was just a bizarre grey area that faded away. Some have told me it was, but what I'm stuck on is- What was the point then? If it never went anywhere and my advances were shut down, what was it all for? But I guess this is a question that no one really has the answer to and I'll have to figure out how to be content with that.

Can a man in his late 20s truly befriend a teenager in a way that is completely wholesome and pure? Does a teacher’s care and empathy extend that much? As a 28 year old, the same age he was, I just feel like a big dumb kid now. Maybe he did too.

But anyway, this came up because he moved into a neighborhood that my family frequents, and something about the possibility of running into him again makes me wonder whether he would be attracted to me now. I'm not sure why I would even want to know. I think for a really long time, I believed that if we had been born in the same generation, he would have been able to like me back. If I were to run into him, maybe I could put it to the test, even though I don't feel anything for him anymore. I don't know.

Outside perspectives welcome, I feel like my lens are fogged when looking back on it.

Part of me will always appreciate that he was a prominent adult figure in my life for a good chunk of it, who genuinely guided me through tough times.

Another part of me resents him because I chased that dynamic for so many years, and I ended up being taken advantage of by some malicious older men.

The rest of me just wonders.

I read what I wrote down over and over, and every time, I change my mind about it. "He was just stupid and young, in his first teaching job, intoxicated by flattery and he had a stupid sense of humor," VS. "He was a perv," back and forth. One thing is certain, he should have drawn better lines. The intent, I'm still fuzzy about. Maybe it's denial, or stockholm syndrome.

#tc struggles #tc blog #tc crush #tc community #tcc #teacher crush #teacher crush community #male teacher crush

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seyaryminamoto · 2 years ago

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I'm gonna join the little crowd of canon Zuko dislikers who believe he becomes a lot more likeable character in Gladiator. He's not scarcely developed like he is in canon. I can notice how he grows from his anger issues that could lead to dangerous outbursts into someone who knows how to keep calm and in control. From self-centered to considerate of others. From entitled to responsible. From having a confused moral compass that depends greatly on Iroh to a man who knows how to make his own decisions enough to even call Iroh out on his mistakes (removing Iroh from Zuko's growth journey was something that greatly benefited him since Iroh burdening Zuko with expectations and plans for his life, with Zuko simply shifting from following a parental figure to another, at least according to my reading of canon).

Most Zuko stories I read are either focused on milking extra sympathy for him or washing the flaws down the drain into awkward turtleduck, and both of these narratives are cringeworthy, with the comics doing him no favors either but doubling down on these flaws.

So his characterizations in Gladiator was a breath of fresh air. That one line when Guru Pathik told him "He damaged your willingness to open yourself to others… to let someone else look after you, out of fear of being vulnerable, I expect." was moving and even relatable.

Ah, damn, thank you very much for saying so! You know all too well that I have plenty of gripes with Zuko's canon writing, so I'm really glad that you feel this way about my portrayal of him in Gladiator... I have to say, I think a lot of my issues with canon Zuko became clearer precisely because I was writing him from scratch in this story. I struggled to understand many things about him back when I watched the show, without my full awareness initially, and I genuinely realized what those things were once I started writing him in Gladiator.

My inability to grasp Zuko properly is one of the reasons why I chose to rewrite Zuko's entire journey. Not only did it make sense to do so in this setting, but the truth is that I hoped it would help me get a better handle of his character: I'd written post-canon content already and the one character I wasn't sure I was writing correctly was Zuko. People would tell me that I shouldn't write him being so moody anymore, that he had become more mature, that he had become basically a perfectly decent person, that he would be a better brother to Azula than how I depicted him, and that I had to work on that. I'd hear all that criticism and then I'd take a look at canon Zuko... and I'd wonder if I was missing episodes or something, since there were many instances, post-redemption, where Zuko made displays of many flaws (be it his temper, be it his narrow mind, be it selfishness, you name it) that a lot of people were constantly pretending he had relinquished completely as soon as he joined the Gaang.

So... it became clear that I just couldn't write him the way they wanted me to X'D it wasn't natural for me, the character they were asking me to write didn't feel like Zuko to me at all, and I honestly didn't understand why right away. And so, as Gladiator's idea crystallized, I realized I'd have a clear shot at writing Zuko's character arc from scratch, I'd get to develop him on my terms, and I'd be the one to decide which traits and flaws he'd preserve throughout his growth process. Doing this helped in a lot of ways, of course, as in changing his journey, I started to realize just what were the elements of his canon storyline that I wasn't 100% pleased with.

Even from the start, I've had readers who felt very sorry for Gladiator's Zuko (especially because Mai married someone else when he was hoping she would have been waiting for him) since he definitely was starting out in a very bad place and a lot of people were immediately emotionally attached to him because they already were in canon. Still, I think part of why he resonated with readers in a different way than canon Zuko was that the challenges I was giving him were different from the ones canon did. For one thing, I let him go home without having captured the Avatar: he knew that he wouldn't have the "approval" of his father from the start. Instead of using Mai as a manner of compensation for him, or as his only true bond in the Fire Nation, Mai was actually another source of anguish simply because she moved on with her life, something Zuko never anticipated she would do. Iroh's sudden interest in the Gladiator League, his sister being up to her own business and becoming a hugely popular public figure while he was mostly sorting out how to live life again... Zuko had a lot on his plate for sure from the very beginning.

Instead of simply making these inconveniences go away, though, instead of featuring every character validating him at every turn and grieving along with him over how unfair his life was, Gladiator's Zuko had to learn how to live with all those things that changed while he was gone. He learned to let go of so many things he couldn't control. He started developing his own interests, connecting with new people, and he tried to figure out how he wanted to live his life, above all else. If he was never going to reclaim his role as Ozai's heir because Ozai wouldn't let him? Zuko would have to decide what to make of himself beyond the idealized future on the throne that he used to cling to... and he did just that.

At this point, back in Part 1, I realized that a lot of what I was doing with Zuko had never really happened in canon. His personal worldview wasn't defied: his father's worldview, which he had adopted, but that he apparently didn't believe all that faithfully, was what he changed his mind about, and he wound up adopting Iroh's belief system instead. It's not Zuko's own beliefs that are contested and challenged: one example of that is his belief in canon that his sister was born lucky, that she didn't work for anything, that he was the one who had to struggle and that was why he was ultimately stronger than her: at no point does the story make him look at his sister any differently. At no point does he conclude that maybe it's fine if she's a stronger fighter because his convictions are the right ones, because his bonds with people are truer, because maybe the true worth of a person isn't how skilled they are at combat. He was never confronted with any of this, never had to think on it at all, and so, the story concludes by as good as rewarding him with a fight where he's beating up his sister and proving himself superior to her. How was his belief defied? It wasn't. It was only reinforced, confirmed, reiterated, and he got away with his dream scenario in which he "put Azula in her place". As in, chains and an asylum. How much of a challenge was this, in terms of conviction, for Zuko? It wasn't one whatsoever.

Along with that belief, he also believed the throne was his birthright (... and I reiterate that I don't understand why he treated it that way, considering that he spent many years of his life believing Iroh and Lu Ten would be Fire Lord and Crown Prince respectively, far more years than he spent being banished or being Crown Prince for Ozai...), but by the end of the story, he becomes Fire Lord indeed, so what he was chasing for happened anyhow: Zuko is rewarded, yet again, by the confirmation of the beliefs he held all along. Yes, he had a hard time throughout the show, but that doesn't change that when the story wraps up, he's exactly where he always envisioned he would be. So, as much as he may have changed and grown, ultimately his two primary beliefs ("Azula needs to go down", "I will be Fire Lord"), at the very core of his character, were never put into question.

This is without going into all those times where his behavior leaves much to be desired, where he acts irresponsibly, where he even withholds vital information from his new friends for reasons that don't make sense, and he gets away with all of it without even a slap on the wrist. There's no pushback, all be it so he can have, again, exactly what he wants: a group of friends who cherish him deeply, so much that he can do completely senseless things like attack them over their inaction due to their lack of information, which he didn't bother disclosing to them because "it was obvious" (it wasn't), and nobody finds that alarming or worrisome, anything he says or does is 100% fine because it's him and everyone must love him, of course.

All this flies against some of my fundamental passions as a storyteller. I've always enjoyed doing something that is, honestly, a really simple way to build a character arc: give a character something they want, and then take them on a journey of existential crisis that will eventually make them question whether or not that's really what they want anymore x'D I've been doing it since well before I got into ATLA, and it's 100% what I've done with a LOT of characters in Gladiator. There was nothing quite as distressing for someone like Azula than falling in love with the defiant Water Tribe warrior who refuses to bow down to the Fire Nation's alleged superiority, all of which leads her to question her beliefs, her assumptions about life -- is the Fire Nation truly superior? Is Sokka right to defy it and rebel as often as he does? Her father, obviously, doesn't want her to marry anyone outside Fire Nation nobility -- is he right to want that, though? Isn't it up to her to decide what she should do in life? If she chooses to be with Sokka, does it mean she's rebelling against her father? Is that wrong or right? After over twenty years of following Ozai's ideology, does she have the courage to turn her back on him and open her heart to a different way of living?

It's particularly easy to see it in Azula, but it really has happened with basically every important character in the story (save for the more villainous ones, I guess), and Zuko is no exception. The goals he sought, the people he idealized and idolized, have changed a lot in his eyes as he grows and changes too. And by specifically choosing every element of his growth, and how they impact him, I've also pushed his development all the way to the point where, like you mentioned, he meets Guru Pathik and, upon opening his fire chakra, Zuko is basically set free. Everything he went through up until that moment has been adding up to a conclusion he hadn't quite unlocked... until he did that day. It was difficult, it wasn't intuitive for him, but it's as if he had opened his eyes to the world fully for the first time, and he could see things so much more clearly because he finally knows how to do so. And it doesn't mean that he will be at all merciful with Ozai, just as it doesn't mean that he will condemn Iroh to hell for the horrors he's responsible for... but it means that he's ready to stand on his own, and to not let other people choose his identity for him, particularly these two.

I'm honestly surprised by how his development has reached the point it has. After all these years of being well-known for being ambivalent towards Zuko even at the best of times, I've honestly felt proud of this guy for the first time ever while writing Gladiator Part 3 xD it's not exactly common for me to feel that I'm in a good spot with Zuko, but it really took me breaking him down from the get-go, rewinding him to his earliest stages, with very little to no development, and taking his growth into my own hands completely. I'm sure a few people thought I was a mindless Zuko hater after everything I put him through in Part 1, and that everything I was doing to him was some manner of vendetta because he had a better outcome in canon than Azula, and I was overcompensating for that in Gladiator... well, I hope that, if any of those people are still here now, they'll actually see what the point was xD the point honestly wasn't to punish Zuko: I just needed to develop him on my own terms, and it wasn't an easy journey, but it's one I'm genuinely pleased with. His hard-gained maturity, his reliability, his strength of heart even when facing that the world isn't quite what he thought he was... all those things have led me to feel like I can actually write, at last, the characterization of Zuko that so many people thought I should have been doing since day one. But this time, I handled it myself. This time, I know this character personally, and I know that his journey adds up to the man he has become up to the newest chapters. I'm not standing on shaky grounds, confused about what I'm doing, the way I was with his character back when I was writing canon-based content primarily.

And indeed, in doing so, I've come to understand just why Zuko's canon journey didn't hit every mark I needed it to. I'm not going to pretend that I've handled him flawlessly, but I do think that I've let him be a version of himself that doesn't need to be coddled, doesn't need a second person to perpetually stand beside him, whispering in his ear what's right or wrong, doesn't need someone else to serve as his scapegoat, so he can blame all his misfortunes on them... above all else, it's a Zuko who can think properly on who he is, who he wants to be, and reflect on whether he's failing or succeeding at that endeavor. Yes, sometimes he'll feel the pull to be selfish, sometimes he'll be harsh, sometimes he'll be unsure of what path to follow, but ultimately? He will be ready to make the tough choices. He will also be ready to step out of his comfort zone to do right by the people he wants to protect. He will be responsible... he will actually learn to be a leader, and not simply for the sake of repurposing the skill for a future potential tenure as Fire Lord. That's not his ultimate motivation in this setting.

So, all of this really ended up putting in sharp focus for me that so many of these elements of growth are actually only implicit in canon, or outright non-existent. They hinge often on interpreting Zuko in the most positive light possible, in denying his flaws and in pretending the tropes he embodies are more representative of who he is than the person he actually proved to be through his actions and behavior throughout the show. In one breath, people will claim he's incredibly complex and in the next they will sweep away all such complexities to declare him exempt from all the consequences of his actions. As much as I can understand the protectiveness that comes with having a fictional character mean a lot to you, the fact that pointing out any single mistake or misbehavior by him in canon feels like such a threat to the character his fans think he is -- hence their immediate, alarming, wild arguments to defend him --, tells you that the idea of Zuko is more important than Zuko as a fictional character. It's all about what he "represents", and very little about who he actually is. In my experience, it's not common to find fic writers who actually handle Zuko correctly, and I sure love it when they do, but just as you said it, so many people bank on milking out extra sympathy for him (as if the show hadn't done a ton of that to begin with), and very little is about exploring him as a character in a deeper, more challenging way than what canon did.

As a long-time Zuko critic, I'll never stop saying that my problem with Zuko isn't who he's supposed to be, but who he actually is. It's in the writing flaws that make his growth process far more questionable in canon than it should be, and more than anything, that the fandom has taken to defending anything he chooses to do relentlessly, almost religiously. There are so many elements of his growth that could have been handled better... and as I wrote him in Gladiator, the clearer those elements became. Naturally, I'm working with an older Zuko, but similar beats could have happened in his character arc in the show and they simply didn't.

Anyway! All this is to say... thank you very much for sharing your thoughts :) I know there's been a ton of contentious arguments about these subjects lately, and I really am glad that I can write a Zuko that makes sense to those of us who are critical of him in canon. What I feel like a lot of the Zuko defenders don't understand is that we don't want him to be perfect: we want him to be treated in the same way other characters are treated, rather than getting preferential treatment where so many others, with similar traumas to his own, aren't given the same courtesy. But in my honest, sincere opinion, I wish I could love Zuko. I really wish I could enjoy his character as much as other people do. I absolutely believe I would, if the writing around him had addressed all the elements I needed it to address in order for his journey and character arc to add up successfully. And yes, it's fine by me if people love him exactly as he is: I don't have to, though. Neither do you. And if I'm writing a Zuko the two of us can genuinely enjoy, the better for us, am I right? XD

Thanks again for this ask <3

#wingsfreedom #gladiator #yeah it's been a while since my last long asks ahahaha oops #took me a while to answer sorry about that #as usual #I need to get it together yes I do #but honestly it's so reassuring to know that my Zuko is hitting the spot for other people aside from myself #I really looked forward to posting the Southern Air Temple arc because I just REALLY wanted you guys to see that scene #it made me so happy to finally set him free #the impact that scene had #and how it has genuinely helped him find stability safety and inner peace #it was such a wonderful breakthrough #and I cannot believe how proud I can be of this guy after all these years #but that's the power of stories :')#so glad you're enjoying him too! <3

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