#shameless dvd commentary

[palepinkgoat]

I was asked by someone in the @shamelessdvdcommentary community to share things "behind the scenes" one of my fics. I just think it's the coolest thing so I decided to participate! I hope you enjoy it. <3

Which Fanfic is your DVD commentary about?

Restoration. It's my most "popular" fic by far!

Give us some stats - (when you wrote it, word count, how long it took to finish, is it a one-shot/multi-chapter, etc)

Restoration is a multi chapter fic written in (big gasp!) 2016. It's 14 chapters and took me four months to write. For me that's very fast! But back in that day I was cranking fics out faster. The story is 112,794 words.

What was the initial inspiration for your story?

Well, our air conditioner needed a tune up and we called Bowman HVAC (a real company here, as well as the name I gave the HVAC company in Restoration) and a redheaded technician showed up. The wheels started turning immediately. At the time a lot of houses were being knocked down in the neighborhood (gentrification sucks) so there was a lot of construction happening. I'm sure that helped too.

If the story is written from a character’s POV, why did you choose this character?

I wrote it from Ian's POV. I had only written in his POV one other time. I fell even more in love with him in the process, and exclusively wrote him for years afterward. I can connect to Ian as a bipolar person, and his bipolar features heavily in the story. It seemed like a great opportunity to explore that.

What was your favourite scene to write?

I loved writing the scene with them in the bar bathroom in chapter 3. The first time they kissed . The whole scene felt very alive to me when I wrote it. I also really loved all the scenes with Ian and Sully - they were very fun to write.

How did you come up with the title?

I heard from a neighbor that there were different ways houses could be built, and if you leave any part of the house intact (the neighbor's front porch was left and they built out from that) you can categorize it as a restoration. I liked that. I also really liked the image of rebuilding things metaphorically.

Are there any little moments or references you hope readers will notice?

I'm not sure if this counts but I worked really hard on the construction elements and making them metaphorical to the chapters at the same time!

Was there anything you struggled to write? If so, how did you overcome this?

I don't really remember but I know that a lot of it just flew out of me. I don't remember struggling with any of it, surprisingly!

Favourite line in the story?

I'll pick the end of chapter 4, which includes a scene a lot of readers like. It's the "teaching" scene, wink wink. The last line is "He leans forward and meets Ian's mouth, opening wide and tasting him, them, this."

Did the storyline change in any way as you wrote the story?

I initially thought it would be a lot shorter, but I realized it needed breathing room and a longer timeline. I'm glad I followed that instinct.

If you are writing a particular trope or genre, was it your first time writing this?

I don't think it fits securely in a trope? I'm always a little confused about those.

What are you most proud about in the story? (plot, characterisation, dialogue, twist/cliffhanger, etc)

I'm proud of the bipolar elements to this story, and some of the dialogue. I feel like the dialogue in this was the easiest I've ever written. It was just really nice to write.

Are there any deleted scenes that didn’t make it to the final story?

In the era when I was writing it Amanda was very much in the picture on the show, and I thought her personality would really fit to be one of Ian's "helpers." But I never really got into any scenes with featuring both Lip and Amanda being with Ian at the same time.

Are there any ‘behind the scenes’ info you’d like to share - e.g. what’s going on in a characters head in a certain scene or how you came to write a certain line?

A lot of Ian's med stories and his notebook he keeps for processing episodes and health in general were mine, as well as most of the scenes with the doctor. The office is modeled after that doctor's office and everything. Honestly that doctor and the office were pretty terrible in real life, but I made her better than my doctor was. Now I have a fantastic doctor!

Reading back the story now, is there anything you’d change or add?

I actually did not re-read it for YEARS and re-read it in its entirety for perhaps the first time ever a year or so ago. It probably sounds really vain but I was surprised how cohesive it was and how much I liked it. I'm really proud of it and so glad people like it as much as they do. I don't think I'd change anything really.

Would you ever write a sequel to this story?

I have been asked, but I don't think I could do it! Like I literally think I couldn't write it in the same tone now that it's been so long.

Are there any ‘easter eggs’ in your story - e.g. references to other stories you’ve written, a trope you often use etc?

As far as easter eggs from story to story, I didn't add any of those things to Restoration. I did however reference the Restoration building and street in my recent fic Paragraphs! Another thing to know about me is most of the names I chose for original characters are real names of people I know. For example the developer of the property, Kowalski, is named after one of my besties. Do these people even know I write fanfic? Not really. So it's just for my own amusement. :)

If you’ve chosen your most popular story, are you surprised by the popularity?

I'm amazed at its staying power. I can't believe people are still recommending it and re-reading it. It makes me feel so loved.

Were you nervous or excited to post this story?

Back in that day I didn't feel very nervous. After I wrote this story I felt more nervous because people loved the fic so much and I felt like it was a lot to live up to!

Did you have a beta or a friend who helped you as you wrote?

I did not! Solo act, baby. I have used a beta on Paragraphs and The Ink is a Witness to This though and I think it helps tremendously. Fun fact: it makes me more nervous to share with one person than it does to share with the world which is funny to me.

Ask your followers to pick a snippet (no more than 500 words) and share your thoughts about it.

"Ian nods. Fuck it. He slides off his bed and settles on the floor between Mickey’s legs. “You want to feel it again?” Ha! This is a big reader favorite in this story (and referenced above) and even made into art. I didn't even mean to make it hot. I thought it was just a little scene, no big deal. The response was fun. The gist is Mickey is saying he doesn't know how to give an, uh, below the belt job and Ian kind of "teaches" him by talking him through what he's doing. Thanks to @wehangout for giving me this moment to work with!

Anything else you’d like the readers to know about the story?

I cherish every single reader and all the comments and kudos over the years. Writing this fic completely changed my life. I'm serious. So anyone who likes it or talks about it feeds in to that beautiful change and I'm just so, so grateful. I loved writing it.

[wehangout]

Shameless DVD Commentary

The wonderful @i-think-you-mean-reduction asked for a DVD commentary on Suncatcher! This was the first time I'd read it since finishing, so that was a lot of fun, too! This whole thing got away on me, so hit that read more if you want to read more 💜 as usual, thanks to @callivich for starting this awesome idea!

Which fanfic is your DVD commentary about?

Suncatcher!

Give us some stats - (when you wrote it, word count, how long it took to finish, is it a one-shot/multi-chapter, etc)

Okay, I started posting this in March of 2022, which leads me to believe I started writing it in 2021 (I'm on a borrowed laptop, so can't check). It took some time to finish because ~real life~ and word count hits 58,592.

What was the initial inspiration for your story?

Oooh, okay. This post. If you don't want to click, it's a text post saying "au where thief!cas tries to ride dean's dick and keep track of when his flashdrive is done stealing the contents of dean's computer at the same time". Obviously, that kind of scene never happened in Suncatcher, but vibes, you know?

If the story is written from a character’s POV, why did you choose this character?

Mostly Mickey because almost everything I write is Mickey pov. But I did experiment with this by writing those 3rd person Ian snippets, and literally the only reason for it is so the reader could be there for that moment of realisation when Ian figures it all out.

What was your favourite scene to write?

I don't know that I have one, but I really enjoyed the scene where Mickey asks Ian to come to Mexico. Getting to write them being soft, even just for a minute, was nice. And literally any of their flirty banter was fun to write lol.

How did you come up with the title?

I feel like this doesn't need an explanation, lol. I will say, though, I had three other titles in mind. I had "Denouement", "Encontrar", and "Atrapasol". Encontrar means "to find" in Spanish (because I knew it would end with them in Mexico), while "Atrapasol" means "suncatcher". At least, according to Google translate lmao.

Are there any little moments or references you hope readers will notice?

I did a reread in order to write this commentary, so, please, have a list of moments, foreshadowing, and references.

* Mickey's nautical-themed sleeve! “Sailing? Nah, man. I just really like pirates.” Get it? Because he's a thief? And pirates steal shit? Literally no one caught onto that haha * “Uh … growing up the way I did, I’m probably better at the B&E itself rather than tryin’ to solve it.” -- Mickey literally says this in the first chapter lmao * His mind doesn’t go over every detail of the North Side burglaries and he doesn’t obsess over the thief committing them. No thief. Just a bartender. Just Mickey. -- Um, hello? * “Never gonna give that up, are we?” “Never gonna live it down.” “Those aren’t the lyrics.” “Okay, lyric police.” -- 27 Dresses, thank you * Ahh, Mickey's blowjob tattoo. The amount of erotic tattoo designs I looked at for this, but nothing was right. Until Mitch 💜 * He snorts. “Clearly you don’t know many writers.” “I don’t. Should I?” “No. They’re the worst.” -- I'm dying 😂 * Well, this really has turned into a commentary, huh? Apologies. * "A little dry, to be honest." Chapter 3 and 9. Did anyone catch that?

Was there anything you struggled to write? If so, how did you overcome this?

The last two chapters. Life completely turned upside-down on me and I couldn't write a thing. Zero motivation, infinity depression. Then, at the beginning of this year ... I dunno. I don't know what happened, but suddenly I was writing again and I haven't stopped yet.

Favourite line in the story?

“Catch me if you can, motherfucker.”

“Two, I give you the keys to the cuffs and leave. But first I suck your dick until you come down my throat.”

“I’ll give you what you want, Red, you just have to decide what you want more; the thief, or his mouth?”

“I didn’t do anything,” he whispers. “You did everything, Ian.”

“Interesting,” he says. “I was already half in love with you by then.” 😭

“I’m gonna fuck you now. You know that, right?” You groan and drop your head. “You might just break my fucking heart if you don’t, Gallagher.”

“So long as that lover is you, Gallagher.”

Did the storyline change in any way as you wrote the story?

Yeah, but only chapters 9 and 10. Initially I was going to write Ian having a depressive episode and Mickey talking to him about everything while he was down, but I hated the idea. I didn't want it to seem like Mickey/the thief was the cause of his episode, and I also didn't want to use it as a tool. The idea changed into a possible attack on Ian, but that still wasn't working for me. So, instead, you got the scene with Mickey handcuffed and Ian asking questions. I switched the vulnerability around and made it way more fun.

If you are writing a particular trope or genre, was it your first time writing this?

Nah. A little crime with my romance is my go-to lol

What are you most proud about in the story? (plot, characterisation, dialogue, twist/cliffhanger, etc)

Finishing it. Kidding. Kinda. Not really.

Actually, though, the dialogue and banter is pretty good. It reads very natural, so I'm proud of that.

Are there any deleted scenes that didn’t make it to the final story?

Only what I mentioned above. I wrote the attack on Ian, Mickey sitting with him in hospital ... it wasn't good.

Are there any ‘behind the scenes’ info you’d like to share - e.g. what’s going on in a characters head in a certain scene or how you came to write a certain line?

Oh, the moment where Ian finds the camera and leaves it. He'd just heard Mickey tell him that he stopped watching before things got interesting, and that's what he's thinking about as he puts the camera back down with a smirk. About Mickey not stopping just as things get interesting. I had thought about writing it, too. A scene where Mickey doesn't close the laptop, working consent into it and Ian putting on a fucking show

Reading back the story now, is there anything you’d change or add?

I don't think so. I'm pretty happy with most of it.

Would you ever write a sequel to this story?

Kinda did. Wouldn't be opposed to doing more. All the cream pie banter I'm rereading is def giving me inspo for if I write more of them oops

Are there any ‘easter eggs’ in your story - e.g. references to other stories you’ve written, a trope you often use etc?

I think I mentioned this in the commentary for Thicker Than Forget, but Jim Morrison/The Doors lyrics. I don't know, man, it just works for me haha.

Also the name thing - Gallagher/Ian/baby and Mickey/Mick.

There's also the line "It’s gone from bartender and customer having a bit of fun flirting and teasing, to silk sheets and Nine Inch Nails pounding through the speakers." - The NIN might be a reference to Help Me (Tear Down My Reasons) 😏 iykyk

Were you nervous or excited to post this story?

Excited. Probably more excited to post ch2, though, just for the reaction to Mickey being the thief haha

Did you have a beta or a friend who helped you as you wrote?

@whaticameherefor always 💜

Ask your followers to pick a snippet (no more than 500 words) and share your thoughts about it.

@i-think-you-mean-reduction asked for the scene where Ian asks Mickey on a date which I've pasted below.

A couple of notes on it:

The Riverwalk Cocktail Festival is a real thing in Chicago

I put a stupid amount of research into finding them the perfect date and this just fits.

Reading it back, I love that the Mickey doesn't think of the thief or anything to do with that shit once during this conversation. It's just two guys who like each other, and one's asking the other out on a date. It's just happy.

I think Mickey was so surprised that Ian was asking him out that everything he said and felt and thought was genuine. He even has a moment of "Fucking finally" that he doesn't mean to say, but 100% means.

I'm sad they never did it.

“Just my gut.” He pauses. Smiles. “Speaking of … in the interest of trusting my gut with my personal life as well as my professional life, have you heard of the Riverwalk Cocktail Festival next month?” Your heart skips a beat. Yeah, you’re heard of the fucking festival, and you can’t believe Ian’s doing this. “I’ve been a few times,” you tell him. “Sandy and I go under the pretence of work, and then get shit-faced.” “Okay, so do you maybe wanna go again?” He fingers go back to the coaster, but again he keeps eye contact. “But, you know, with me instead of Sandy.” There’s nothing romantic about the Riverwalk Cocktail Festival unless you go to the Riverwalk Cocktail Festival with romantic intentions. If you go with a date then it’s stupidly fucking romantic and you and Sandy used to talk shit about those assholes every chance you got, but … But the idea of being one of those couples, of going with Ian and having it be romantic … it makes you sick to your stomach how much you like the idea. “You askin’ me on a date, Gallagher?” He stares at you, eyes wide and honest. “Yeah.” “Fuckin’ finally.” You don’t mean to say it. You think it and you mean it, but you don’t mean to say it. Ian’s smile, though, makes the slip worth it. “So that’s a yes?” “Yeah.” “Good.” He smiles. Fucking beams. “Because I’ve already bought tickets, so I would’ve been kinda fucked if you’d said no.” “You already bought tickets?” “Some might call it presumptuous; I call it optimistic.” You shake your head. “Ian, man, those tickets are expensive as fuck –” “Doesn’t matter.” “Matters. At least let me pay you back for mine.” You already know he won’t let you pay for both of them. “Not a chance. This is me trusting my gut, asking you out, and feeling really good about it.” A smile pulls at the corner of your mouth. “Oh yeah?” “Yeah.” He smiles right back. “You wanna pull me out of that good feeling, the one I get when you agree to go on a date with me, by bringing up my money woes? Or do you wanna talk about our date and agree upon matching outfits?” “You better be fucking joking.”

Anything else you’d like the readers to know about the story?

So, as mentioned above there was a good chunk of time where nothing was updated. If you were someone who left a kudos or a comment or messaged me on here during that time, or even continued reading when I finally updated, please know it meant a lot.

[suzy-queued]

DVD Commentary: Out of Nowhere

I got a request from @doshiart for behind-the-scenes commentary from Out of Nowhere. @shamelessdvdcommentary

Give us some stats - (when you wrote it, word count, how long it took to finish, is it a one-shot/multi-chapter, etc) 86,511 words, 15-chapters. I wrote it between November 2022 - January 2024.

What was the initial inspiration for your story? I love murder ballads. I love graphic novels. So when I saw the book In the Pines at my local library, I snatched it up. This book takes old murder ballads and turns them into short stories, told in graphic format. My favorite one was "Where the Wild Roses Grow," based on the Nick Cave song.

I took some very loose elements from this story: A secluded property, a guy escaping from prison, a person protecting their family's gold. The prisoner wooing the gold protector in order to get close enough to rob them. Doesn't that scream Gallavich?

In the murder ballad there's, well, murder. The prisoner dies by the end. Boy, was I tempted to do that in my story.

What was your favorite scene to write? In each story, there's a scene that pops in my head early on that I base the whole setup around. It's the one that I'm gleefully waiting to write. For this story, it was the "cleaning guns" scene in chapter 7, when the sexual tension is high and Ian tantalizes Mickey as he works.

How did you come up with the title? My favorite murder ballad of all time is "El Paso" by Marty Robbins. There's a line in that song, "From out of nowhere, Felina has found me."

The placeholder title was "Gallagher Gold."

Are there any little moments or references you hope readers will notice? I made this note early on: "Ian has a high PHYSICAL IQ. Mickey has a high VISUAL IQ." I used that to make character decisions throughout. Ian was good with his body and his posture. He was good at carrying things and balancing things, climbing and shooting. Mickey was obsessive about patterns and puzzles and solving challenges.

Was there anything you struggled to write? If so, how did you overcome this? Chapter 13, oh my god. That's the hardest thing I've ever written. I was dreading it for months. It's a tense culmination of everything the story has been building to: love, betrayal, physical and emotional pain. The land gets torn up, and so does their relationship. I overcame it by taking lots of deep breaths and writing small chunks every day. I made sure that every sentence was exactly what I wanted to convey, without letting the prose take its own (lazier) path.

Favorite line in the story? “I’m not a fucking Viper.”

Did the storyline change in any way as you wrote the story? When I started this story, I was sure that I didn't want to do another long multi-chap fic. I outlined it as a 5-chapter short, maybe 30,000 words. Then the "what if" whispers started happening, and it grew to a full 15-chapter outline. Most of the chapters had very short descriptions. One was just "fun and games on the land." One was just "This wasn’t supposed to happen, Gallagher."

Other possible settings included: an abandoned church with a small cemetery, and old hospital, a forgotten amusement park. I wrote "somewhere old-timey that would have land."

What are you most proud about in the story? (plot, characterization, dialogue, twist/cliffhanger, etc) The art! I had so much fun with it. I based the style off the old Penguin classics, like the Grapes of Wrath cover below. (Where they had the little penguin, I put the double-triangle Viper tattoo). I'm also showing my concept sketch for chapter 1 art.

Are there any ‘behind the scenes’ info you’d like to share? I hand-wrote the story first, and it filled two notebooks:

Here are some research shots on the land and the equipment:

I took this photo while I was working. Welcome to the inside of my brain:

Reading back the story now, is there anything you’d change or add? I was itching to dramatize more of Ian and Mickey's lives while they were apart. It would have been fun to have 5-6 chapters of them learning to be whole humans again. But ultimately, that wouldn't serve the story. I did a time jump instead.

Are there any ‘easter eggs’ in your story - e.g. references to other stories you’ve written, a trope you often use etc? The story is set in Fox River Grove. This entirely happened because @lalazeewrites introduced me to the town in their comments on Estate of Blood and Trust. So the events of EOBAT and OON are taking place in neighboring towns!

Did you have a beta or a friend who helped you as you wrote? @mzshko helped me figure out the best way to structure chapters 2 & 3. She was patient enough to read an alternate fully-written version of both chapters and tell me which option worked best.

Anything else you’d like the readers to know about the story? Three months into writing this story, I stopped and did a self-analysis because it wasn't igniting. I wrote, "Could it be that I haven't put enough of myself into it?" So I re-evaluated and dug deeper and made it as personal as I could.

I can't emphasize enough how interwoven details of my own life were in this story. I helped my dad install that big aluminum gate in the woods. I used 5-gallon jugs of water to brush my teeth and sponges to bathe. I washed clothes by hand and cooked on a propane stove. I hauled and stacked logs from fallen trees. I had a love/hate relationship with my family's land and ached to be back in civilization, like Ian. My dad used to tell me bedtime stories about escaped prisoners (Mickey?!) roaming the woods and killing small children.

This story is a love letter to my dad, who was dying the entire time I was writing. He passed away in May of 2024.

This is open to all writers! Pick your favorite story you’ve written or your most popular or the one you think deserves some more love! Or ask your followers to suggest their favorite fic of yours!

[ms-moonlight-inn]

“Shame-proof” DVD Commentary

Thank you to @shamelessdvdcommentary & to the anon to requested us (whoever you are, we love you!). My bestie @notherenewjersey & I are here to answer all of your burning questions (do you have the syph? why's it burning? it's not supposed to burn.)

Anyway, here's our stuff... hopefully it'll help with that itchy burny.

Which fanfic is your DVD commentary about?

“Shame-proof” is about two childhood actors who lose contact with each other after their series wraps. Quickly, we find out that Ian had been harboring a deep crush on Mickey, who had basically been bullying Ian the whole time. Confessions & apologies ensue.

Also, a friend called it an undercover RPF... and if that’s how you choose to look at it, well we’re not gonna stop you.

NJ–  it COULD be RPF but that’s not how it was written. We weren’t imagining Cam or Noel’s childhoods here, aside from what we stole of Mickey’s back canon that Ian watches as he pines.

Give us some stats - (when you wrote it, word count, how long it took to finish, is it a one-shot/multi-chapter, etc)

The outline started on 4/16/24. 22887 words posted. Posted for the Summer Camp project on 8/3 but we were done before that.  Moonlight was convinced it would be 10k but I knew it was bigger. And this was without us going down every rabbit hole we saw. It’s 8 chapters, most of the chapters start with a flashback to the past and then jump to the “present.”

Moonlight– seriously, NJ dragged me away from some other HC I had kicking around, & we dove into this one instead.

What was the initial inspiration for your story?

I read Jeanette McCurdy’s book, and as with any time I read anything, my brain said “What if this was Gallavich?” I know Moonlight is an L.A. girl, so I knew I wanted her input. I think I had a rough outline already when I looped her in, but she immediately took what I had and expanded and deepened it, as she always does.

Moonlight– God it’s so much fun to talk trash about all the things you grew up with & around. Los Angeles is filled with opportunities for trash talking. LOL 

If the story is written from a character’s POV, why did you choose this character?

This didn’t start out as either of us deciding to stay in Ian’s POV, but in order to keep Mickey’s motivations a little more opaque, we landed there. Until the latter chapters, at least. For the drama.

Moonlight– No further comment.

What was your favourite scene to write?

All of them? I like Sue so much, and I love writing Frank’s bullshit. RuPaul is fun, too. 

Moonlight– I’ve got two favorite scenes. The first is the scene where they’re kids doing the campground episode. I adored the moments of discovery Ian had there –figuring out that trees existed in southern California, figuring out that he had a serious crush on Mickey, and then the boy he meets on set as he’s running away from his problems. (BTW, 10 punk rock points to anyone who knew the song before I remembered to add a link).

The other scene I loved writing was the rimming scene. In the outline NJ said, “they get together in the sexiest and most romantic way.” And I wanted to throw my laptop at her face. SERIOUSLY, what the actual fuck?! So I got them all the way up to the part where Ian’s naked and stalled out for, like, two weeks. I was on a call with @mybrainismelted saying, “I’m stuck on this scene. I’ve managed to get one dick out, but I haven’t quite figured out how the other one’s gonna get naked AND STILL KEEP THIS BULLSHIT SEXY AND ROMANTIC.” Needless to say, I figured it out. 😁

NJ– Yup! That was, I think, the entire outline for that chapter, originally. One line. I knew that’s what happened at that point in the story, why bother with details? LOL

How did you come up with the title?

Oh geez. Trying to come up with both an AU of Shameless AND a reboot name, both of which would sound semi-natural was tough! But Shame-proof is more than just the title of a fake TV show. It also speaks to how Ian and Mickey were able to finally live wholly as themselves. No more hiding, nothing left unsaid. Without shame, shameless in the very best ways.

Are there any little moments or references you hope readers will notice?

I always throw things in. We both do. But hopefully, readers who haven’t read either our individual or joint back canon can still enjoy the story.

Moonlight– See easter egg question.

Was there anything you struggled to write? If so, how did you overcome this?

No.

NJ– if one of us is stuck, the other usually isn’t or can jostle the other into being unstuck. We’re good like that.

Favorite line in the story?

NJ– @gallavichgeek pointed out two of my favorite lines, but I will repeat them here because … yeah. 

“Hey, come back,” Mickey says softly.

“I’m still here,” Ian answers, a little confused.

“Yeah, but all of you. M’ not ready to let any of you go a moment sooner than I hafta.”

***

“I’d say,” he hesitates, then goes on, “that someday you’re gonna get everything you ever wanted. That all the bad shit, the bullshit, and the pain, it’ll all be worth it.” 

***

If I crash, I’m coming back to haunt you, Ian had answered.

If you crash, I’m diving in after you.

***

Moonlight– “What the fuck? How ‘bout double-dutch no with a cherry on top.” Mickey steadily refuses. (Anytime Mickey is being creative with his cursing & curses is a good time. Bad language & mockery are his love languages.)

What are you most proud about in the story? (plot, characterisation, dialogue, twist/cliffhanger, etc) 

All of it? It’s a great story. 

Moonlight– I’m also proud of the structure we used. It was NJ’s choice to do what basically amounted to two mini chapters in one –past & present colliding, if you will. And it worked so well for this storyline. 

Are there any deleted scenes that didn’t make it to the final story?

Not deleted, so much as we had ideas that didn’t make it to fully fleshed for the final draft.

Are there any ‘behind the scenes’ info you’d like to share - e.g. what’s going on in a character’s head in a certain scene or how you came to write a certain line?

NJ– It’s important for people to know that Mickey in the past was protecting Ian so much more than he was protecting himself, with his bullying behavior. 

Moonlight– God, yes. 

Reading back the story now, is there anything you’d change or add?

NJ– I want more of Ray, more of Sue, more of the Random Studio Infant now grown up. More of Sheila and of Kermit. I want the world to be fuller. And maybe it will, eventually.

Moonlight– Def’ more Ray, he’s funny & I’m sure he & Ian had so many stupid adventures. I think I’d like to see a few of the conversations between Ian & Mickey, but I struggle with that ‘cause I love when there is that air of mystery to a storyline. I don’t necessarily want to be told everything. But I think at least one of those late night conversations we reference would be nice to see.

NJ– yeah, we did have a time limit so some of the scope got condensed. I agree, those conversations would be incredible to see/hear. 

Would you ever write a sequel to this story?

Well…. This story has legs. It has scope beyond what you’ve seen. I have believed, since the outline began, that this was the fic that would make the leap to traditional publishing. Moonlight and I are hoping to expand it and bring it to a publisher. “It’s a crossover between Shameless, I’m Glad My Mom Died, and RWRB.” Who wouldn’t wanna read that? LOL The Gallagher family will shrink a little, Terry will still be his monstrous self. So no, there won’t be a traditional fic sequel. But if we’re all very, very lucky, there will be an expanded version that scratches the same itch.

Are there any ‘easter eggs’ in your story - e.g. references to other stories you’ve written, a trope you often use etc?

The Saint Christopher’s medallion that Ian receives from Mickey? Yeah, the person I wrote that for knows it was for them. 🫶 

If you’ve chosen your most popular story, are you surprised by the popularity?

By far NOT our most popular story. Yet.

Were you nervous or excited to post this story?

I HATE waiting to post- posting a fic like this where it’s all done upfront is hard for me, emotionally. So I was beyond excited for people to read it and love it as much as we do!

Moonlight– NJ really hates not posting immediately. Like, really hates it. This fic was written for the @gallavich-fic-club Summer Camp Event & we had to wait our turn. Which she HATED. 🤣 

Did you have a beta or a friend who helped you as you wrote?

Can we count each other? I’m a genuine writing freak- fast, thoughtless, and I rarely edit beyond typos. (many of which elude me and still end up in the final draft.) Moonlight is the opposite- she’s incredibly deliberate and also deeply and passionately devoted to the editing process. When we edit together, it can look a little argumentative, but we trust each other, so a lot of those conversations end up like, “I don’t see the issue, but I trust your judgment.” We both say it all the time.

Moonlight– D’aw, bb. You’re making me blush. You’re right, I am a meticulous asshole, but your brain is fast & witty. Together, we write good shit. 

NJ-- Also, god the verb tenses in this story gave me fits. I am a grammar nerd, so is Moonlight. But skipping between tenses for the past and present when we wrote straight through- she never had an issue but I regularly was in the wrong tense and had to go back and fix, cursing my own self the whole time. Loudly. Often on the phone with Moonlight. 

Moonlight– 🤣🤣🤣 yeah…

If any one has any comments, words of praise, complaints you’d like to register with our headquarters, please let us know. 

NJ - in the greatest detail, if you’d be so kind.

Anything else you’d like the readers to know about the story?

Moonlight– Yes, the cheese sledding story is based on semi-true events. The guys at my high school used to carry large blocks of ice to the top hill of the local golf course & ride them down. Years later, a dorm mate I knew in grad school told us about his Vermont cheese tour where he saw “giant wheels of cheese” that he swore he could use as a mode of transportation. And so, the cheese sledding story was born. 

NJ-- And I made sure it was at Trump’s golf course because a few years back, a man in New Jersey did some fun vandalism like that and I find it deeply satisfying.

🧀🛷 

[zutaralesbian]

I recently re-read my own fic not all heroes wear capes and thought it would be fun to answer some questions for @shamelessdvdcommentary ❤️

(Questions and answers under the cut)

Give us some stats - (when you wrote it, word count, how long it took to finish, is it a one-shot/multi-chapter, etc)

I wrote it back in 2020 for one of the rounds of the Shameless Big Bang. It’s a multi-chapter but a short one (only seven chapters and 37,560 words). I don’t quite remember how long it took me to finish it but it was at least four months I imagine, given I wrote it for the Big Bang and took up pretty much the entire time given.

What was the initial inspiration for your story?

This is probably a bit spoilerish of an answer but back when the show was still airing, I talked a lot about Ian’s hero complex. It’s one of my favorite aspects of his character and it’s what initially morphed my idea of what his role is in this fic. (If you’ve read it, you know what I’m talking about).

If the story is written from a character’s POV, why did you choose this character?

It’s mostly told from Mickey’s POV but it does change to Ian’s from time to time too. I chose Mickey to take up the majority of it because I wanted Ian’s role in the story to be a bit more mysterious.

What was your favourite scene to write?

A scene in the middle of chapter two, where Ian and Mickey come together and talk about what split them apart. (The story is a post-S3 canon divergence with a twist). I remember really enjoying writing the dialogue between them in that scene because I love writing hurt/comfort. And I think the finished product turned out pretty good if I do say so myself.

(Off topic side-note but after re-reading that whole chapter, I realized that I wrote the sex scene to be much more explicit than I remembered. Which is strange for me because I’m usually only confident in writing sex between wlw ships. I normally go fade to black with Gallavich).

How did you come up with the title?

Titling is one of the hardest parts of writing fic for me, for some reason lmao. It literally just randomly came to mind. I think it’s corny but it goes with the theme of the story so 🤷‍♀️ I’m not good at titles so I can’t really be picky on that front.

Was there anything you struggled to write? If so, how did you overcome this?

The action/fight scenes. Which sucked, considering the main plot of the fic lol. Writing those was like pulling teeth. But I pulled myself through, even though I don’t think they turned out all that great. I’m much better at writing emotional stuff.

Favourite line in the story?

“We were kids,” he clarified at Ian’s questioning expression. “And things were shit. We never stood a chance.”

It just sums up my feelings about S3 Gallavich tbh 😭

Did the storyline change in any way as you wrote the story?

Not really during the writing process. But when I was first trying to plan it, I debated whether to make it a canon divergence (which is what it ended up being) or a straight up AU. I ended up doing what I did both for the angst factor of it being post S3 and because I personally find full on AU’s to be much harder to write than fics that are based at least somewhat on canon.

What are you most proud about in the story? (plot, characterisation, dialogue, twist/cliffhanger, etc)

I’ve had a few people tell me that the fic “kept them guessing” as they read it. Which happily surprised me because while I was trying to be at least a little mysterious while writing, I didn’t really think I had succeeded. So I was proud of myself when a small amount of people validated me on that!

Are there any deleted scenes that didn’t make it to the final story?

No specific scenes but I did originally envision a small interlude towards the end. Ian and Mickey hit a rough patch at some point in the fic because Mickey discovers a big secret that Ian kept from him. In the finished product, Mickey forgives Ian relatively quickly. At some point, it was going to be a more angsty and longer process. But I ended up not going in that direction because I felt like it would drag the story out a little too much.

Reading back the story now, is there anything you’d change or add?

In the story, Sandy (who plays a supporting role in the fic) and Debbie are exes and Sandy eventually dates an OC. Given that I’ve grown much fonder of Debbie over the years, I think I would give her an actual role and keep her and Sandy dating if I wrote it now.

I also would have done a better job at a certain flashback scene towards the end because, along with the action scenes, it’s one of the weaker parts of the story imo.

Would you ever write a sequel to this story?

Nah. Maybe a one-shot sequel of sorts if inspiration ever hit.

Were you nervous or excited to post this story?

Very nervous! It was my first multi-chapter Gallavich fic and first time participating in a fandom event like a big bang.

Did you have a beta or a friend who helped you as you wrote?

Yes! Given that it was a big bang, I had a beta assigned to me. shame_less18 on ao3! And she did a fantastic job! (Not sure if she has a tumblr unfortunately). Part of the reason I chose this fic to do this commentary for is because I know it’s most likely the one with the least amount of errors for that reason lol.

Anything else you’d like the readers to know about the story?

This is probably my favorite fic that I’ve written. (For Shameless anyway). Mostly because it was a lot of fun. My life was simpler back then and the Shameless/Gallavich fandom was fairly popping with S10 having just aired. I’ll always look at it fondly.

[meta-squash]

More for @shamelessdvdcommentary since I just recently wrote and posted some new fic. (Thank you Calli for reminding me that this is a thing and that writing this commentary is really fun.)

High Elopement Risk Summary:

A sign on the door says 'High Elopement Risk' in bold black and white. He can't stop thinking about the idea of marriages of the mad; vows jumbled in cotton-dry mouths, church bells tolling crooked and joyous, benzo-sloppy kisses, heavily medicated laughter painting the halls. Glassy eyes and white gauze and rings made of toilet paper, promises made for or by the not-quite-there. It scares him that his fingers itch for Ian's skin. It scares him that even through the clenched heart, the way his stomach is in lovelorn knots, the way his mind shuts down at the thought of Ian doing the things he did, he still wants to stay. Mickey's POV during the time that Ian is in the hospital.

Give us some stats - (when you wrote it, word count, how long it took to finish, is it a one-shot/multi-chapter, etc) I wrote this fic a couple of weeks ago. It took a few days to write but mostly came all at once. It's a oneshot, 5,255 words.

What was the initial inspiration for your story? I read a short essay by a woman about visiting her aging mother in the hospital and she talked about reading the sign that said "high elopement risk" and thinking about weddings. That sparked an idea of Mickey waiting for Fiona in the hospital and thinking similar thoughts.

If the story is written from a character’s POV, why did you choose this character? I wanted more of Mickey's POV during this time because we get Ian, and we get the rest of the Gallaghers, but we don't get Mickey's true feelings really, when he's waiting for Ian to get out of the hospital. We see him trying to avoid thinking about all of it, but we don't actually get a sense of what he's actually thinking or feeling under that attempt to ignore/avoid it all.

What was your favourite scene to write? Writing Mickey's internal feelings during the scene in the hospital where Fiona is chattering away and Ian is so, so vague and sedated and Mickey's barely holding it together was really fun. Mickey is worried and sad in that scene but also totally freaked out by the difference in Ian and also still reeling from everything that happened in the days and weeks prior but also obviously still very much dedicated to Ian. So it was fun and interesting to try and figure out the ratios of all those feelings and which ones were stronger for which scenes.

How did you come up with the title? This title (for once) was really obvious considering the inspiration and also main theme.

Are there any little moments or references you hope readers will notice? That every time Mickey thinks about actually leaving, it's immediately contradicted by him realizing how much he wants to stay. I've always thought that part of what freaks Mickey out so bad during this time is that he realizes he's 100% in it for the long haul and even something this huge and upsetting as this isn't changing that he wants to stay, even though it would have other people running. And that realization of how dedicated and in love he is scares him, especially alongside how bad seeing Ian like that is freaking him out.

Was there anything you struggled to write? If so, how did you overcome this? I got slightly stuck with writing Mickey the morning that Ian comes home (but before Debbie comes and yells at him) because he's just drunk for most of it, which means he's mostly trying to not think. But I got through it by kind of building up what he's freaking out about. Like, what's he going to freak out about upon first waking up, and then what other thoughts or fears end up piled on top of that as he starts drunkenly spiralling?

Favourite line in the story?

Chewing at his lips like gnawing the skin tender will somehow make the other pain easier to bear. Like if he's raw at the place only Ian has ever touched him then maybe Ian will come back and they can kiss each other better. As if he ever believed in kissing anything better. He sure as hell wishes he could believe in it now.

Did the storyline change in any way as you wrote the story? Mostly I just couldn't decide whether or not to make the fic continue all the way up to the "Sorry I'm late" scene or not. I decided to write up to where I ended it in actuality, and then decide whether it felt like it needed more. It didn't, so I didn't end up going that far.

If you are writing a particular trope or genre, was it your first time writing this? Angsty fic is my signature style, and I mostly write Mickey POV, so no. But it's my first fic that I wrote that focuses on Mickey while Ian's in the hospital. So now I've written a fic from Lip's POV about Mickey when Ian gets checked into the hospital, and one from Mickey's POV about while Ian is in the hospital, and multiple fics about Ian and Mickey pre-diagnosis.

What are you most proud about in the story? (plot, characterisation, dialogue, twist/cliffhanger, etc) Characterization, for sure. I'm really happy with the way I wrote Mickey freaking out about the change in Ian, and then freaking out about wanting to stay anyway, and then freaking out about how he's freaking out. And then him making up his mind to stay anyway.

Are there any deleted scenes that didn’t make it to the final story? Well, I never ended up writing the "Sorry I'm late" scene, so I guess the concept of that is sort of a deleted scene? But no, this one came into the world pretty whole.

Are there any ‘behind the scenes’ info you’d like to share - e.g. what’s going on in a characters head in a certain scene or how you came to write a certain line? I just love season 5 Mickey because there's nothing but growth there, he really matures and becomes so stable and wonderful throughout the season. (Which makes me so pissed off about the end of season 5 and how much they fucked up his character in the last 3 seasons ugh anyway.) I really wanted to explore that growth, the moment of transition between him really scared and freaked out and heartbroken, and then coming over to the Gallagher house and from that point on being this pillar of stability and wanting so bad to take care of and love Ian even through all the shit that's going on. Also I wrote this line:

Waiting by the phone, calling and calling and talking and talking to the empty heartless beep of voicemail until the message box filled up, calling still after that and talking to the dead air, promises and declarations and pleas and all the things he wasn't sure he could have said to Ian's face, not before. Maybe not now.

because I've always been of the opinion that Mickey saying "I love you" in the voicemail was not a surprise to him, that he had been mulling over the feeling and the words for a long time and hadn't yet found a good time to say it due to Ian's manic behavior. He's surprised that he let it slip then, but I don't think it's a moment of realization for him. But I really liked the idea that the more voicemails he left, the more he just ended up saying things he might not otherwise say, really personal thoughts and feelings and stuff, both because he's scared and because he hopes somehow that opening up like Ian always wanted him to do might convince Ian to come back. And then when Ian's in the hospital, it gives him another layer of things to freak out about -- how is Ian going to react to him being vulnerable in that way over voicemail?

Reading back the story now, is there anything you’d change or add? Not at the moment, although I tend to reread old fics every few months and add a sentence or a word or two, so maybe in a few months I'll find something I want to add.

Would you ever write a sequel to this story? Nothing official. A lot of my Shameless fics tend to accidentally fit together, so I'm sure if you read Because Brothers Don't Let Each Other Wander In The Dark Alone and then read this fic, they'd fit together as prequel and sequel.

Are there any ‘easter eggs’ in your story - e.g. references to other stories you’ve written, a trope you often use etc? Nothing specific. Just Mickey being generally a pretty anxious person, which I think he is to some degree quite an anxious/high alert person but just good at clamping down on it or hiding it.

Were you nervous or excited to post this story? Excited because I really liked what I did with the themes and the base idea of "high elopement risk" as a concept with multiple meanings. But I think fics about that mini-story arc of Ian in the hospital don't get as much traffic (probably because it's a sad topic) so I was expecting it to get fewer hits and I'm not surprised that I was right. The happier Gallavich fic I posted a month prior has like 5x the amount of hits.

Anything else you’d like the readers to know about the story? Just that I'm completely obsessed with Noel's acting during this little story arc. He's just so good at body language acting and microexpressions and I think part of what made me want to write this fic is the way his expressions seem to flicker between a sort of panicky hysteric freaking out and a heartbroken worry and helplessness. And I just wanted to explore those two types of upset and how Mickey is dealing with it all.

[depressedstressedlemonzest]

Okay a couple weeks ago @shamelessdvdcommentary had an anon ask asking if I'd do one for a gallavich fic.

Which I 10000% want to do.

I just can't think of which one to do it over!

So if anyone has a suggestion or request pleeeeaaase send it to me.

Otherwise I'll probably do it over my wips!

[sickness-health-all-that-shit]

thank you @callivich for sharing the idea of making fic dvd commentaries! I thought I'd give it a go 🥰 @shamelessdvdcommentary

Broken things

summary: When Lip brings home an advanced android in order to test it for the company he works for, Ian doesn't know what to make of him. MIK-940810, or Mickey, seems virtually indistinguishable from a human being, throwing Ian for a loop as he feels an undeniable connection to the android. Their relationship deepens when Ian finds out about something that Mickey has been keeping from Lip and the people who built him.

There’s a faint blue light shining from the place where Lip’s thumb rests for about two seconds. Ian’s expecting some kind of whirring noise, like when you turn a computer on, but there’s just silence.

And then suddenly the blue eyes come alive.

some stats: I started writing this about a year ago, as part of the latest shameless big bang and finished it around january this year. it's a multichapter of about 28k words divided into 8 chapters

What was the initial inspiration for your story?

probably something I was watching at the time. I love sci-fi! I think I would've had the initial idea in the spring of 2023 and then let it marinate for a while, until the big bang came a-knocking lol. I'm pretty sure it was always gonna be android!Mickey and human Ian, and when I remembered Lip's canon interest in robotics it all started slotting into place for me

If the story is written from a character’s POV, why did you choose this character?

like I said it was always gonna be android!Mickey and I really wanted to explore Ian trying to figure out what made him tick and questioning what makes us human in the first place

What was your favourite scene to write?

probably their initial conversation when Ian asks all sorts of questions that make his brain explode more and more, while Mickey sort of watches him spiral and just seems to have an obvious answer for everything lol. that and the scene where Mickey heavily flirts with an increasingly flustered Ian, that was a lot of fun

How did you come up with the title?

one of the main themes of the fic is the coming together of these two individuals who meet at a time when they both needed it because they were feeling broken, for different reasons. there's a parallel especially between Ian's relationship with his bipolar disorder and Mickey's feeling that he's malfuctioning as an android and that he'll be seen as a broken toy. in both cases it's because of heightened emotions compared to what's considered 'normal', but they heal each other throughout the fic and overcome that sense of brokenness together

Are there any little moments or references you hope readers will notice?

hopefully all the little references and parallels to canon! (things like Mickey's serial number for instance) I had a lot of fun with those, it was like winking at my fellow fans like 'get it? it's like in the show!' lol

Was there anything you struggled to write? If so, how did you overcome this?

I struggled a bit with the resolution of the main conflict/angst, especially explaining how Lip suddenly decides to help them in the end, after being a dick for most of the story lmao. hopefully it doesn't feel that sudden or rushed, but yeah. I still think about it at times lol

Favourite line in the story?

“Well, ask away, doc. You studyin’ human anatomy all day, right? Bet you’re curious as fuck to know all the ways they replicated that shit in this hot little android body o’ mine.” - like I said, I really enjoyed Mickey shamelessly flirting xD

Did the storyline change in any way as you wrote the story?

I just checked my original (handwritten) outline, and I think I had meant to make Ian catch on more to the fact that Mickey is a different type of android, even with Lip's reassurances, but I think in that version he ended up being suspicious in a way that didn't gel with his blossoming feelings for Mickey, and maybe as a result I made Ian a little bit more unsure of himself, which goes back to him feeling broken because he feels like he can't trust his brain too much. also when I was still gathering my ideas for the story I initially thought Mickey might turn out to have memories of a human Mickey Milkovich who had died, but I scrapped that because I wanted this Mickey to be the real Mickey, android or no

If you are writing a particular trope or genre, was it your first time writing this?

I'd definitely never written sci-fi or an android fic before! I might delve more into science fiction in the future though, who knows 😌

What are you most proud about in the story? (plot, characterisation, dialogue, twist/cliffhanger, etc)

overall plot and dialogue, probably. I'm really proud of how I developed my original idea, and some of the lines still make me laugh (or cry)

Are there any deleted scenes that didn’t make it to the final story?

going back to my original outline, I apparently had a whole chapter that never came to be? here's what I'd written down: "Lip's boss shows up at the house. Mickey needs to pretend to be a regular android despite his anger. Ian defends Mickey. The police gets called. They have to make a run for it." maybe this would have helped the resolution feel less rushed/anti-climactic but it also seemed to complicate things a bit too much for my taste, so it got scrapped

Would you ever write a sequel to this story?

I think the epilogue leaves things in a good enough place!

Were you nervous or excited to post this story?

both!! but more excited overall, I think. it's probably my favourite story I've written

Ask your followers to pick a snippet (no more than 500 words) and share your thoughts about it.

please!!!! I will love you forever <3

this was great, I highly recommend it to all writers 🥰

[loftec]

Shameless DVD Commentary: None the wiser

I was tagged by a lovely anon over at @shamelessdvdcommentary to do this, thank you! Here we gooo

Which fanfic is your DVD commentary about?

The people (11 out of 20) have spoken! None the wiser

Give us some stats - (when you wrote it, word count, how long it took to finish, is it a one-shot/multi-chapter, etc)

First published: 2015-09-23 (coming up on 9 years what is time??)

Last updated: 2021-12-11 (holy heck that's... shit! I'm sorry!)

Words: 218,480 and counting

Chapters: 53/68

What was the initial inspiration for your story?

A little bit of everything, mostly I'd been reading a lot of Shameless fic at the time and really wanted to write something that was both a really quite basic diner/coffee shop AU, but The Most version of it. The slowest burn, the most diner AU. I had no ambition for people to like it but I wanted it to be Known. If anyone ever asked for a diner fic, they'd HAVE to say, well, NTW is The Most diner fic we've got. If someone asked for slow burn, people would sigh and say, WELL, this one over here is the worst, but it is very slow. And also I was inspired by Before Sunrise / Before Sunset, and working in the music industry.

If the story is written from a character’s POV, why did you choose this character?

I chose Mickey specifically because of the Concept, that Ian decides when the chapters start and end (with some exceptions) by going to the diner, but we're limited to Mickey's POV. Generally I think Mickey is easier for me to write, too, he's got a really strong voice and I like looking at the world (and Ian) through his eyes.

What was your favourite scene to write?

The whole banter/walk scene in chapter 44 when they leave the venue:

“Sure you and your lips can do whatever you set your heart to,” he says, “I believe in you.” Ian is silent, and when Mickey risks a glance in the direction of him and his non-trumpeting goddamned marvelous lips, Ian is looking at him like he’s some kind of unsolved mystery. ”What?” Mickey asks, frowning at him when Ian smiles. “Just a thought,” he says. ”You’ve been flirting with me since we first met, haven’t you?”

I had that whole back and forth leading up to the first kiss in my head for years before I got to finally got around to write it and I still love it.

How did you come up with the title?

It's from a song, one of the core songs I associate with this fic. My playlist now has 149 tracks on it, but the ones I consider "core songs" are None the wiser, Day After Tomorrow, Let's Dance, How I Made My Millions, Not Dark Yet, and Mosquitoes. I'm not sure I can explain why, but None The Wiser came on randomly when I was doing dishes and thinking about this fic I was writing, and the vibes just lined up in my head. Also I think it fits this version of Mickey I'm writing, who knows so much and has so much experience, but refuses to understand what's happening when Ian walks into his life.

Are there any little moments or references you hope readers will notice?

Oh, wow. Yeah. I always reference silly little things and I just have to hope people understand them, or tolerate them at least. I think one of my favourite bit of foreshadowing is in chapter 39 when people keep staring at Ian because they obviously recognise him, but Mickey thinks staring at Ian is a completely reasonable thing to do and is mostly just annoyed over how blatant they're being.

Was there anything you struggled to write? If so, how did you overcome this?

I am struggling right now lol, I had meticulous notes for what I wanted to happen for every single chapter up until 45, and now half of them say "they text all day" and I'm like THANKS!!! VERY HELPFUL!! Also life and writers block etc etc.

Favourite line in the story?

This is such a hard choice, so I'll just go with this one from chapter 42:

“So,” Ian says, sitting back to sweep his arms out in a wide motion, presenting his solution. “I think we should go out for breakfast sometime.”

Because to me it pinpoints the moment when Ian breaks the format, in a way? They have met outside the diner before, but only on accident, and here Ian realises that it might be a problem that they only ever hang out at Mickey's job. But metatextually, he also highlights the narrative crux they're stuck in. I don't know, is that a boring favourite line? I have many, and I grabbed the first one I saw so I wouldn't get stuck rereading the whole fic lol. Do you have a favourite line?

Did the storyline change in any way as you wrote the story?

So much, it's hard to believe because there isn't too much of a plot, but so much. My planned ending is so far from what it was when I started out, which is maybe one blessing that comes from how long it's taking me to write it, I have time to rethink things. I can't really talk about it now without spoiling the actual ending, but you better believe I will expose myself once we get to it.

If you are writing a particular trope or genre, was it your first time writing this?

I'd written fic for a different fandom ten years earlier, but nothing in this style I don't think, and this was my first time writing since I was 20 and stopped writing jrock rpf. I suppose I'm still writing about music, though!

What are you most proud about in the story? (plot, characterisation, dialogue, twist/cliffhanger, etc)

One of the things I've always wanted to do with writing for Ian and Mickey is to let them have conversations, have things in common, and be friends. Because I think they were in canon, we just never got to see it (in the first 5 seasons, careful what you wish for). Guess I'm saying I'm proud of the bants!

Are there any deleted scenes that didn’t make it to the final story?

I don't think so! I mean, maybe the last 15 chapters? I kid! They will make it!

Are there any ‘behind the scenes’ info you’d like to share - e.g. what’s going on in a characters head in a certain scene or how you came to write a certain line?

There is one line Ian says where, when I wrote it, I was like; this is the first time Ian thinks "I love you" but says something else. Cannot remember what or where right now, and I don't want to try and find it, it's late! Submit your guesses here, I might find it over the weekend if I have some time to look. Also, it's like one of those silly I love yous, one of the early ones, full of potential and feeling but perhaps lacking a bit in substance, but he thought it and I saw him thinking it!

Reading back the story now, is there anything you’d change or add?

Eh *coughs* I might already have, and I apologise. The worst part about writing something this slowly and posting the chapters as I go is that the fic isn't finished and so I feel like it's fine for me to sometimes go back and edit already published chapters. It's not right but I... will still do it. Sorry! A most embarrassing example is when, not too long ago, we discussed the layout of the diner here and I went back to the first chapter to see how I had described it, and it had changed in so many ways over the years? Small round tables?? The tables haven't been round since 2016!! So that's a very clear case of something having become canon for all the hundred little times I've thought of the tables as square while writing vs that one time in chapter one I carelessly said they were round.

Would you ever write a sequel to this story?

Yes! So many! Or maybe not a sequel, that suggests another part of equal size. But little bits of stories, yes!

If you’ve chosen your most popular story, are you surprised by the popularity?

Yes! Like I said, my only aim was to annoy my way to fandom infamy. Turns out it's so much more fun to actually connect with people and write something with someone else in mind, besides myself. I feel so lucky that so many people have connected with NTW over the years <3

Were you nervous or excited to post this story?

Mostly just excited, I think! I still am, whenever I get to post something : )

Did you have a beta or a friend who helped you as you wrote?

No, I probably should have but I have a very hard time showing things to people when they're not finished.

Ask your followers to pick a snippet (no more than 500 words) and share your thoughts about it.

Add snippets in the replies and I'll share thoughts, if you want!

Thanks for reading! <3 <3 <3

[dustdeepsea]

extended author's notes | nine lives

Nine Lives (Rugan/Tav, BG3, explicit): AO3 link

I have a lot of silly feelings about this fic + its prequel. Waaay too many and far too shameless to put in the end notes on AO3. Consider this the dvd commentary for anyone who would like to listen to my rambling.

I. the working title

This fic was originally supposed to be called amor fati ("love of one's fate"), and Nine Lives to be the overall series name. I nixed it because two Latin titles back-to-back would have been too confusing.

II. mixtape [youtube playlist link]

I listened to these songs for the lyrics and vibes while writing and I think they make a nice little EP/mixtape of mood music for reading as well:

Burning - Yeah Yeah Yeahs Sea of Love - The National How Not to Drown - CHVRCHES, Robert Smith Falling Apart - Skeler Momentum - Plantrae

III. setting: the elfsong tavern rooftop

Excuse these boomer screenshots with the UI overlays (if someone can teach me how to switch them off, that would be great!)

Alfira usually stands on the little bit of balcony this is from my durge run so Alfie is missing yikes

balcony where they ahem kiss

Cue this ridiculous writer trying to figure out the optimal place to bone down hurhur

IV. thank you for reading!

Writers always put a little bit of themselves into their work. Tav and Rugan in this story both have a bit of my younger self in them. I'm glad I got to give them a hopeful ending :)

[shamelessrabbithole]

Any thoughts about what the writers said in the DVD commentary clip about Ian/Kash?

For anyone who needs a refresher, it's this clip:

The writers and Cameron are talking about how within Kash and Ian's relationship, Kash wasn't meant to be seen as predatory. And that although Ian was underage, he was the one in their dynamic who held more of the power and control. Also, that Shameless was portraying what this type of relationship actually looks like in real life, and not the TV version of it.

I mean, these are definitely not PC things to say on a DVD commentary clip. That's for starters. But, if they're just talking about narrative choices that fed into making a twisted yet compelling story arc for Kash and Ian, then I can see why they chose to deliberately make Kash soft, weak, browbeaten, and kinda wimpy overall. His domineering wife minimizes him and his underage boyfriend isn't overly obsessed with or deeply devoted to him. I'd say these aspects are true in the way they wrote his character.

The "real-life" stuff they're bringing up is fucked up, though, because what do these people know about real-life grooming? The writers are suggesting that not only do they know, perhaps based on personal experience, but that in pedophiliac relationships, the younger person is commonly in charge. That's a dumb statement and they shouldn't have made it.

Lastly, I think Cameron weighing in and agreeing with the writers is also pretty fucked up. Not because he's doing anything wrong. In fact, he's only like seventeen in this clip and these are his bosses essentially, so of course he's going to uphold whatever they're saying. He's not in a position to do otherwise, but also what does he know about the "complications of life" they're speaking of? He doesn't. He's not experienced enough to make that call. Even just having him there feels inappropriate, almost like they brought in a minor to back them up, because they needed one to validate all of these really flawed statements they're making.

[possiblyimbiassed]

The lying liars who lie

Years and years late to the party, I’ve finally gotten my hands on all the DVDs of BBC Sherlock, and I thought it would be fun to watch the extra material carefully, one piece after another, and also listen to at least some of the show makers’ commentary of the episodes. But at this point, after S4 where DVDs seemed to be a constant lying device in general, I tend to look at them with a bit more suspicious eyes...

I still love the show of course, but now that I’ve taken this deep dive into all the special features, I find them a truly hard thing to try to wrap my head around. Even this long after the fact, I’m amazed by the amount of shameless, self-congratulatory BS in the DVDs, where the people involved can’t have enough of complimenting each other and their show, while they skillfully avoid to discuss anything actually meaningful about the plot line. ;) For example, Moffat claims in the S2 DVD that “In fact, you’ll never see a more obsessively authentic version of Sherlock Holmes than this one”. But if we follow their light-hearted commentary, which basically takes the show at face value, I’d call that not just hyperbole, but an outright lie. If you want to see the ‘authentic’ stories from ACD’s work in this show, you’ll definitely need to go much deeper into the subtext and meta levels - neither of which are mentioned on these DVDs of course. Here’s my own (rather subjective) ‘review’ of the whole thing, trying to pinpoint why I view most of the commentary of the show from its own makers as an advanced art of deception. 

(My musings under the cut)

Series 1 - a wealth of extra material

First of all - as many of you probably knew already - the whole of the Unaired Pilot is added to the DVD of S1. In the extra material about the making of the series, they (Sue Vertue, Mofftiss and others) talk about what things they changed between the Pilot and ASiP, claiming that many changes were necessary improvements once they knew that they had a whole series and a lot more time at their disposal. 

Which I can perfectly understand and agree with in general. But I think what’s missing in their discussions is more interesting than what’s actually there (”Mind the gap” ;) ). Things that I would expect from the show makers when they go to the trouble of comparing the pilot version with the aired product. There’s not a word, for example, about the fact that they added both Mycroft and Moriarty to the story in ASiP - two characters who later turn out to play major roles and appear in almost every other episode until the end of TFP. Or about the choice that one of the screenwriters would play Mycroft. 

Neither do they discuss why they chose to relocate the place where Sherlock was challenged by the cabbie from 221B to Roland Kerr’s School of Further Education. Instead they focus on the details, like for example the new design of the interior of 221B.

Not to mention the fact that almost every scene in the Pilot is mirrored in ASiP (as pointed out long ago by @kateis-cakeis X), but at Angelo’s in the Pilot Sherlock follows the events with the cabbie while looking in an actual mirror. I even noticed that in the Pilot the cabbie is offering Sherlock dark-coloured bottles with the pills in them, while in ASiP those bottles are transparent, as if the cabbie is offering Sherlock to play Black or White in the chess game that he is simulating. What’s with all these mirrors, though? Not a word on the DVD... ;)

Now, even though these rather remarkable choices are neglected together with a great bunch of minor ones, I still think that the most interesting fact about all this is that they actually included the whole pilot version within this DVD, which is sold by the franchise. Why even do this, when it raises far more questions than it answers? The only logical reason I can come up with is that they’re laying out a track of little hints that anyone with a deep enough interest in the show to actually buy the DVDs can try to follow. And it seems to me that lying by omission is one of the first steps in the long line of cryptic and misleading author comments on this show. But at the same time, they clearly want the fans to have access to it all, even the abandoned version.

Moving on to Series 2, time for bigger lies 

In the extra material of this DVD Benedict himself describes how his character "faces one of his deadliest enemies in the shape of Love, and it comes in the form of Irene Adler, who is this extraordinary dominatrix [insert here a bunch of superlatives regarding Adler]...”. And then we see how Adler whips Sherlock with a riding crop (without any kind of consent, I have to add) while he’s lying on the floor, and we have Lara Pulver telling us how it was to have a go at Benedict on set. So Holmes whips dead bodies and Adler whips living; seems like a match made in hell! :))

Gatiss claims, grinning with his whole face, that “they’re clearly, absolutely made for each other”. OK, so I think we can see Sherlock being intellectually impressed by Adler, and even trying to protect her from Mycroft, and we can see John acting jealously. We can also see her being dressed and styled as a perfect, female mirror of Sherlock. But I’m still at a loss what all this has to do with love on Sherlock’s part? Especially since he’s not even responding in any fashion to her various attempts at seducing him. 

And there’s more: Paul McGuigan, the director of ASiB, claims that the scene where Sherlock has a conversation with Adler inside his Mind Palace about the crime case with the car that backfires "is a part of a kind of love story, if you like...” No, I don’t. Maybe it’s just me, but if their aim really was to convey to their audience a love story between Sherlock and The Woman, I think they failed miserably. All I see is a guy ’mansplaining’ to a clever woman how to use her brain, while she’s trying to flirt with him by expressing her admiration (to no avail, though) and make deductions at the same time. Nothing new under the sun, really. John did the same thing repeatedly in ASiP (without making own deductions) and got far more attention from Sherlock, but I’ve never heard any of the show makers call that ”a love story”. But by ’lie-splaining’ the scene with Irene to the audience, they try to manipulate us all to see it as such...

In all the direct commentary of this episode, where Steven, Mark, Sue, Benedict and Lara are present, I get the impression that every time they even touch on the relationship between Sherlock and John, they hurry to add the term “friendship” or “man love” or similar words in case they forgot them at first, avoiding even the tiniest possibility that there could be anything more going on between them. They even explain that when Irene calls them “a couple” she does not mean anything romantic. This whole approach feels almost paranoic in the midst of all the laid-back jokes and light-hearted talk about the filming. It’s as if a sort of restrictive, heteronormative filter or blanket is being constantly applied, to teach the audience the ‘no homo’ lesson of it all. And the more I listen to this, the more tiresome it becomes.

In the commentary Moffat does reveal an interesting detail, though: that the ‘Flight of the Dead’ in ASiB was inspired by a cut out scene in the Bond movie On Her Majesty's Secret Service. To me this is just one more reason to question the ‘authentic’ quality of this scene, as opposed to possibly taking place in Sherlock’s Mind Palace. But I digress... 

Listening to the commentary in general, it’s like it’s aimed to distract the attention from what’s going on at the screen rather than highlight it and try to explain their intentions. They do mention that Irene didn’t actually ‘beat’ Sherlock in the end of ASiB, but there’s no explanation of this obvious deviation from canon, where Adler does indeed fool Holmes, taking advantage of his prejudices.

The rest of the extra material of S2 is mostly about technical stuff, special effects and such, and also about filming techniques and Benedict’s delivery of fast deductions. But the part I really do love is the one where Andrew Scott talks about how much he enjoyed playing the scene where Moriarty dances before breaking into the Crown Jewels. That’s one of my favorite scenes of he whole show. :) Also, the takeaway message from this DVD is Moffat’s words at the end: 

“These are still the formative years of Sherlock Holmes, and the most important thing about this series is not that it’s updated; it’s the fact that those two men are still young and they’re still at the beginning of what they don’t yet know is gonna be a lifelong partnership”. 

And then comes Series 3... 

...and its extra material, with the most blatant attempts at deception so far, I believe. At this point Sherlock is called a “psychopath” by both the show’s characters, John’s blog, Benedict Cumberbatch and Martin Freeman as if it were true, which is a big deviation from ACD canon. That simply doesn’t happen there; while Holmes is sometimes described as eccentric, no one in the books is ever claiming that Sherlock Holmes has some kind of mental illness leaning towards cruelty and egotism - not even his enemies say this about him. In the show, however, they begin in ASiP with making him torture a dying man for information (something that is not included in the Pilot). And in S3, where they avoid discussing the reason why they turned Mary Morstan into a ruthless assassin, this major shift is glossed over by the fact that in the same episode (HLV) they also turn Sherlock into a murderer, who cold-bloodedly blows the brains out of a blackmailer for threatening to make said assassin’s crimes public. 

But without ever getting into the “why” of it all, the cast and crew seem overly happy and smiling describing these rather morbid choices as something positive; “fantastic”, "fresh and new” and "amazing” are their choice of words. Benedict claims that Mary, who has literally shot and almost killed Sherlock in HLV, is now "a new best friend of Sherlock’s”. Amanda claims that Mary “is protecting John” when she shoots Sherlock in the chest. Now they’re both psychopaths, and poor little John is forced to stomach them both because he’s addicted to danger. In Amanda’s words, Mary also “kind of gets in between the two of them, but she wants them to be together as well”.  Which is a load of BS considering that Mary tries to kill the protagonist of the story.

Lars Mikkelsen thinks it’s “such a good script” because “you’re mislead as an audience”. But he never gets the chance to expand on what the misleading actually contains, because then Mofftiss cut in to express how much they love playing with “what ifs”. As if this whole mega-budget project of a show were just a big experimental playground without any actual story to tell. 

Benedict repeats his line from HLV that Magnussen “preys on people who are different” and Moffat also says he “exploits people who are different”. Which is really confusing, considering what we can see Magnussen actually do in the show. Lady Smallwood and John Garvie are two well-established, powerful governmental politicians whom Magnussen blackmails by finding their respective pressure points. In Garvie’s case his pressure point seems to be alcohol problems in his past, but according to media he’s later arrested on charges of corruption. Lady Smallwood is blackmailed on the basis of her husband having sent compromising letters to a minor many years ago, in spite of later claiming that he thought she was older and stopped when he found out the truth. And then Magnussen is blackmailing an assassin who recently threatened to execute him but shot Sherlock Holmes instead, in order to try to get at Sherlock’s brother Mycroft, another powerful governmental figure. 

But what does media seeking out dirt on certain people in power and their families have to do with “people who are different”? Despicable as the method may be, isn’t this unfortunately how political power play usually works in our society? Or are TPTB somehow a repressed minority group now? Unless this whole “people who are different” accusation is actually about something entirely different, something that none of the show makers even cares to mention... ;)

In these DVDs, none of the involved persons is ever discussing the change of roles with regards to canon, though, or the (lack of) logics in this turn of events, or even a hint about the narrative motivation behind them. It’s all about the great Drama, the extraordinary visual effects and the aim to endlessly “surprise the audience”. Which is fine by me to a certain extent, but when this is all that’s being said, it feels extremely superficial, as if the audience is merely seen as a bunch of consumers that have to be triggered more and more by horror, special effects and cliff hangers to be able to appreciate the show. (“Warm paste” indeed, like Gatiss has later criticized some viewers of wanting...) While the "why”; the idea behind this surrealistic adaptation, made by self-proclaimed fanboys of ACD, is not even touched upon. Around this, the silence is total and therefore totally confusing.

Maybe I shouldn’t even go into Series 4...

...but why not, since I’ve already started? :) 

First of all, there’s a lot of extra material on this DVD and I particularly love the parts about the music and composing and Arwel Wyn Jones’ work with the design and build-up of John’s and Mary’s flat and the interior of 221B. Those bits are truly enjoyable. What I could live without, though, is the leading commentary that kind of instructs us, the audience, how we should interpret the show. 

Benedict is on it again on this DVD, telling us that in TST they picked up where they left off in S3 and “It’s a very happy unit of three people that then become four.” Why does he feel the need to make this statement, considering how S3 ended? Actually, if there’s anything I totally fail to see in S4, it’s happiness. The banter between the three  of them may seem entertaining for a while, but who could have a relaxed, warm relationship with someone who tried and almost succeeded to kill you less than a year ago? Without any sign of remorse? Now there’s a dark tone of discomfort and mean jokes that feels forced and not even a bit happy to me. 

But Martin tells us how excited John and Mary are about starting a family and Amanda mentions how much they’re looking forward to the baby. Again and again it’s repeated, as though trying to rub it in: “they’re in a good place, they’re a loving, married couple”. Yeah, right - a child that (judging by TSoT) wasn’t at all planned and now with an assassin for a mother... Twice we see the new parents complain that their daughter has the mark of Satan on her forehead and debate which horror movie she’s from. The clichéd hypocrisy of it all is sickening, and I’m willing to bet that it’s really meant to be. ;) 

But Gatiss chimes in, deciding for us all that the christening of Rosie is “a funny scene” and “they’re enjoying each other, enjoying being on adventures as a three”.

An interesting detail is that Gatiss also tells us that the working name of this episode was “The Adventure of the Melting power Ranger”. So this little blue guy was that important? :) And - even more interesting - is when he says: “Cake is now the code for violent death”. So how should we interpret Sherlock, John and Molly going out to have cake in TLD then, on Sherlock’s (supposed) birthday? 

These might be jokes, though, but when they tell us that Sue cries every time she sees Mary’s death I strongly believe they must be joking. How could anyone feel truly moved by this overly sentimental long monologue where far more efforts are put into reacting to Mary’s speech than saving her life? And John’s mooing like a cow, is that also moving? :)

One thing Martin says about TLD that actually disgusts me is regarding the morgue scene where John assaults Sherlock and Sherlock lets it happen: “From there, really, their relationship can only sort of rebuild, that’s the absolute worst it can get”. As if outright physical abuse would be something that makes you want to rebuild a relationship? Wow - just wow... How far can they go with this crap?

Anyway, when we finally arrive at the absurdity of TFP and Sherlock’s ‘secret sister’, everything is of course discussed as if she actually does exist on the given premises, and everything she does is ‘real’, no matter how impossible it would be in real life. The abandonment of any attempt to have the story line make logical sense is skillfully covered up by more distraction with fascinating technicalities of the film making process. This is where Gatiss makes his now almost classic statement that after Sherlock and John jump out of the window at 221B when a grenade explodes there, it’s just “Boop! And they’re fine.” 

Of course there’s no serious attempt at explaining this logically. Except perhaps Gatiss claiming that they both landed on Speedy’s awning - whatever good that would do to them, since the awning is leaning downwards, but never mind... But we never even saw that happen, did we? A great deal of time is then dedicated to show all the precautions to have Martin and Ben jumping safely at low level onto a madras supported by empty cardboard boxes.

Sian Brooke did say something interesting about Sherrinford, however, that got me thinking. She said that Eurus “wants revenge for the years and years that she has been held captive” there, isolated, and that in TFP the Holmes children are now “lab rats” and “it’s an experiment”. On a meta level, I think we can indeed see this episode - and maybe the whole show - as a kind of experiment, but maybe we, the audience, are also lab rats? Since Sherrinford is slightly shaped like a film camera (not commented in the extra material, of course), it leads my thought to all the adaptations through the years and years where Holmes and Watson have not been allowed to be together. A whole century when Sherlock Holmes has been held captive, restricted by the very same sort of heteronormative filter that all this extra material imposes; it’s like Sherrinford, isn’t it? Which gives all the more meaning to Moriarty’s arrival to the island, accompanied by Freddy Mercury’s “I want to break free”...

I think I’ll let the final words in this little exposé come from Mark Gatiss in The Writers’ Chat (my bolding):

“Moriarty is a fascinating thing in that in our sea of ongoing lies, one thing we’ve genuinely been completely consistent about is telling people he’s dead. But no-one believes it! And it’s a rather brilliant thing.”  Again - self-congratulatory statements. But instead of providing some actual evidence of the death of this character, who has kept popping up in almost every episode since his supposed demise, they think that the more a confirmed liar repeats something, the truer it gets? And the more we’re supposed to believe them? Well, all we can do is wait and see. :)

Tagging some people who might be interested: 

@raggedyblue​ @ebaeschnbliah​ @sarahthecoat​ @gosherlocked​ @lukessense​ @sagestreet​ @thepersianslipper​

My earlier meta on a similar topic (X)

[wehangout]

So, the amazing Calli @callivich came up with this beautiful idea for DVD commentary, fic style, and the amazing questions that go with it. As suggested, I'll be indulging myself while talking about:

Thicker Than Forget. Summary: He blinks at you. “What was your first name?” “Erato.” “Erato,” he repeats. “No need to roll the r.” “Like the muse?” You grin. “Poet, meet muse."

AU. Ian is a poet. Mickey is his recently-corporal muse. They eat an absurd amount of stupidly named ice cream, try to find beauty in things, and fall hopelessly in love.

This was fun! Let me know if you want commentary on any other fics!

Give us some stats - (when you wrote it, word count, how long it took to finish, is it a one-shot/multi-chapter, etc)

So, I wrote this for the Shameless Big Bang in 2021. I couldn’t tell you how long it took me to write (Word is giving me conflicting info), but it was probably my easiest write to date. Word count sits at 30-ish thousand words.

What was the initial inspiration for your story?

It was initially inspired by a novel. I don’t remember which one, but it was either Lament or Ballad by Maggie Stiefvater. The only similarity between that one and mine is that a character falls in love with their muse. The plot itself is very different.

If the story is written from a character’s POV, why did you choose this character?

Mickey. Because it’s almost always Mickey lmao. I did try from Ian’s, but this had to be from the muse’s POV and Mickey had to be the muse.

What was your favourite scene to write?

The smut 👀 if you’ve read it, I hope you understand why lmao

How did you come up with the title?

From the poem, Love is Thicker Than Forget! It fits so well with Ian being a poet and the overall theme of the story.

Are there any little moments or references you hope readers will notice?

I went a little meta on fanfic, fandom, and shipping in this, which was so fun. I think only one person seemed to really notice and mention it, though, haha.

Was there anything you struggled to write? If so, how did you overcome this?

I didn’t struggle to write it, but figuring out how to end it was tough. It took a long time for me to figure that out. When I originally came up with the idea it was for an original story, and did not have a happy ending.

Favourite line in the story?

I’m gonna go with lines, plural, because I have a couple

He kisses you and he kisses you and oh. Oh. This is what they were writing about. All the poets, every word of creativity they took from you … it’s this.

He closes his eyes and continues to sigh sonnets into your skin

Also, the last two lines of dialogue, and, I mean, “Fuck the connection” has to be right up there.

What are you most proud about in the story? (plot, characterisation, dialogue, twist/cliffhanger, etc)

The writing, actually. I’m not a poetic person, none of the poems in the fic are mine, but I’m pretty proud of the poetic nature of the writing.

Are there any ‘behind the scenes’ info you’d like to share - e.g. what’s going on in a characters head in a certain scene or how you came to write a certain line?

So, this is the fic that made me realise I needed to stop taking things so seriously lmao. @captainjowl can attest to the research I tend to do. In this case, every ice cream name was a legit flavour at the time, taken from a Baskin-Robbins website. The mural exists. The flowers and trees in the botanic gardens are flowers and trees found in that exact botanic garden. The hoodie! Taken straight from the Brooklyn Zoo website. The pasta they eat at the North Pond – I used Google Maps to make sure there was an Italian restaurant nearby and looked up ponds in Lincoln Park.

I've since tried to be more chill. Sometimes I fail.

Reading back the story now, is there anything you’d change or add?

I’d make it longer, if possible.

Would you ever write a sequel to this story?

It’s a nice idea, because I’d love to write something pretty again, but I have zero inspiration for it.

Are there any ‘easter eggs’ in your story - e.g. references to other stories you’ve written, a trope you often use etc?

Uh, if you’ve read this and Suncatcher you might notice that I, like Ian and Sandy, have a thing for The Doors.

If you’ve chosen your most popular story, are you surprised by the popularity?

I don’t know if this is my most popular story, but I was definitely surprised by the intensity of the comments I received. It was one time when I knew I’d written something good, but the way it made other people feel definitely took me by surprise.

Anything else you’d like the readers to know about the story?

I love that this was loved. I still go back and read it every now and then and just sigh.

[camelotsheart]

MERLIN CHALLENGE 2020 Day Thirteen - Favourite Cast Member Katie & Julian in 5x13 commentary

I know this is a very big stretch from the theme, but Katie and Julian in this commentary were honestly iconic. Includes: mentions of bondage, incest, so, so much subtext and just a horrendous amount of queerbaiting. I’ve compiled a list of the funniest/most important exchanges below the line.

At the start of the commentary:

J: There are no homoerotic undertones to Merlin of any kind.

K: I think so. I mean, whenever I played any scenes with Millie it was always straight in my mind.

J: No, there are definitely lesbian undertones in those.

When Merlin tells Arthur he has magic:

J: It's a very beautiful moment between two men. [Katie tries to hold her laughter]

K: ...You are not helping this commentary at all, by the way, Julian.

J: No, I'm not. 

K: I think you possibly have been waiting for the sixty-five episodes to do this one commentary.  

J: Yes. I've always been a bit more serious in the previous ones.

K: No he hasn't, actually. 

Also in this scene:

J: ...On no level is magic metaphorical in this show.

K: It's funny, because I don't actually feel like you're being sincere.

J: I'm always sincere.

K: You're the exec. You are never sincere.

J: Believe me, I'm a fountain of truth and honesty.

K: Julian is lying right now. Lying.

When Gwen is back in the castle and Leon reports to her that Arthur is still missing:

J: We've gone to the spurned wife who wants to know where her husband is.

K: But she has Sir Leon. Why would she need...?

J: Ah... Well you see, that's another undercurrent in Merlin, isn't it?

K: Sir Leon?

J: Sir Leon.

K: Oh no. It's definitely-

J: Sir Leon and Gwen.

Also in this scene:

K: ...We know that you never gave me any love interests.  

J: I gave you Morgause. 

K: [She laughs] He says -- in all seriousness!

J: Incestuous lesbianism. What more can you want?

K: You cannot make a show without lesbianism, in all fairness.  

J: It's gotta be said.

Also in this scene:

K: I do worry about you guys, actually. I worry that there are men sitting in a room with Merlin just trying to come up with the most ridiculous scenes that they could get past the BBC.

J: That's...

K: He's nodding.

J: Not true.

K: He is nodding! He's nodding -- it's so true!

J: It's a family show.

K: Not in your head.

When Arthur tells Gaius Merlin is a sorcerer:

K: Did Gaius know?

J: What, that he was a sorcerer?

K: That's not what I asked. About the undertones.  

J: No, Richard would never think of anything like that.

K: You're right, he's a gentleman.

J: He's a gentleman... A man of genuine innocence.

When Arthur gives Gaius the royal seal:

K: The seal... He's passing the mantle to the woman-

J: Yep. That's the last vestige of his heterose-- I mean, sorry. That's the last vestige of his marriage--

K: Oh my god! [They laugh] This has descended to a level. I mean, I thought I was bad in these - playing up - but I have got nothing on Julian Murphy here. I think we should just throw it all out the window.

J: The way we directed the scene where Gaius tells Gwen is basically the thing of it.

K: I think you must just think of most of these scenes in this episode (as the thing of it), if you don't go-

J: It always helps, I swear.

K: You know, he ain't lying again. He has told me this.  

J: If you want to find the emotional truth of it, it does help. 

When Gaius comes back to Camelot and talks to Gwen:

J: That's a tricky one for Gaius to explain - why he's not come back to his wife.

K: You-- You're seeing an entirely different show here than a lot of people, aren't you?

J: Yeah, I know. I do.

When.... er, Julian describes it better:

J: This is the scene where Merlin feeds Arthur... I'll just let that hang in the air.

K: I will input what I can. Alex Vlahos is lost in laughter listening to this. He can't quite believe what's coming out of your mouth.

J: It's actually quite a moving scene.

K: And yet that's not what you want to comment on.

And uh, yeah... another one:

J: Now Merlin is giving Arthur a drink.

K: I think he's just giving him a drink there.

J: Yes. They just spend the whole episode on this journey. It's quite simple.

K: Feeding each other?

J: The feeding thing, I think, is in your mind, Katie.

K: You just said it then. I'm just repeating back to you what you said. Don't try and blame this on me! For a start, you guys came up with the episodes!

When Gwaine and Percival are attacking Morgana:

J: This entire sequence is actually a homage to Tom's arms.

When Morgana has tied them up:

J: Oh, Katie. You've tied up the man again.

K: I know. I just like them where I want them, you know. I don't want them to go far.

J: And as you say, thousands of girls watching Merlin want them in that position.... You've tied them both up!

K: Well, like I said - I don't want them to run away when I want them.

When Merlin uses his magic to lead Saxons on a false trail:

[Arthur: All these years Merlin, and you never once sought any credit.

Merlin: That's not why I do it.]

K: Liar!

J: Well, he knows.

K: What are you--

J: You can never be too sure about these things.

K: It's all the meaningful glances now after this DVD commentary that I'm just going--

J: I should say that Katie, just before we wrote this episode, insisted that it ended with a kiss between Arthur and Merlin.

K: That is not what I said. That's what you put into it. I had the most amazing ending.... My ending, which you didn't use, which I thought would have been amazing, is -- Arthur. Mortally wounded on the battlefield. Merlin comes up and cradles him in his arms. Merlin to Arthur: I have magic. Arthur takes his face in his hands: I know. I think I've always known.

When Arthur and Merlin rest for an hour:

[Arthur: Whatever happens--

Merlin: Shh. Don't talk.

Arthur: I'm the king, Merlin. You can't tell me what to do.]

K: Awww

[Merlin: I always have. I'm not going to change now.]

K: [laughs] oh my god....

[Arthur: I don't want you to change.]

K: [continues laughing] Do you know how much trouble we're going to get in from people saying this was a beautiful moment and all you guys can do is laugh?

J: Well I think you need to have both sides of it. And to be fair, we did genuinely think of the episode as a love story between two men. That's what I think it is. Jokes aside and innuendos aside, I remember talking to Justin and saying that's what it's about.

K: You can't deny that Merlin and Arthur love each other. On whatever love way you want to think. There is no denying it.

J: I think it's a purer love than you, say, had for your sister.

K: You say I had for my sister. [Julian laughs] Ok. I don't know how you read that into it.

J: No. We'll stop there.

K: Oh, we won't.

When Morgana rides her horse through the woods:

K: More Katie galloping.

J: I think you did that just so you could see my boobs.

K: I definitely didn't.

When The Scene happens:

J: Now we're nearing the moment. I'll show you where exactly I'd pick is the...

K: ...where it's all been building to -- almost sixty-five hours of TV. Special moment.

... [Arthur: Just hold me, please.]

J: There you are.

K: [gasps] I can't believe you put that in.

J: Well I think it's... you know, he's dying. The man he loves is dying, so he's holding him.

K: I don't think that's what you meant at all when you put that line.

J: It is!

Shameless trivialisation of ruining everyone’s holiday:

J: I don't know how the nation's gonna feel on christmas eve, but anyway.

K: Yeah, it's kind of a downer.

Katie being literally everyone in the Merlin fandom:

[Kilgharrah: No man, no matter how great, can know his destiny.]

K: Hold on a second here, hasn't the dragon been telling him his destiny this entire time?

J: Yeah, but that's the sort of annoying comment that people make when they're not just going with the flow.

K: Oh really? Oh really, is it? [they laugh] Fine then!

[myinterestsvary-writes]

The ATLA fandom doesn't need Death of the Author, especially since this fandom evidently cares for the author as much as they do (painfully so).

At least in regards to shipping and Aang in particular. When that fandom trope is in use, it should be agreed upon unanimously to lessen the divide the authorial intent creates, not to aid it.

So much "meta" is produced within this fandom that just doesn't hold up very well after viewing the specific episode or scene that's being discussed because at least in some regard the OP wasn't satisfied with the original series' ending, so they over-compensate by pushing back against it even further with their own misinterpretations that then lead to a total and utterly shameless misinterpretation of the ending and overall (obvious, but at times denied) long-term bitterness.

If you thought some aspects of the story's quality were lesser especially in comparison to other aspects, then it absolutely does help in looking into the overall perceived and objective intent behind a particular moment, scene, episode, or arc (as in gathering context clues that fit the tone in the scenes you're assessing, not filling in subtext with what you want to be true, and recognizing literary tropes along with whether or not they truly are being subverted...and also why they're being used) or by much more favourably looking into what exactly the author says themselves via; text directed to their fans, recorded messages, or most commonly DVD commentaries.

That way you can actually understand and actually criticize the writing instead of wishing for something else. As that's not a genuine criticism from then on.

[redrikki]

I'd like to hear a commentary for Nothing To Write Home About, please!

I started writing this after a half-joking conversation with @flaminganakin about how a pen pal would revolutionize Anakin’s life. So far there are three chapters. I have a terrible history with WIPs, but I hope to complete this one. Just don’t ask me where it’s going. You can read it here. DVD commentary on the first chapter below the cut.

There was a message from an unknown sender waiting on Anakin’s com channel when he finally stumbled into his bunk after three straight days of fighting on Muunilinst. According to the time stamp, it had been there for awhile, but he must have missed it under the constant barrage of orders and battle updates of the last few days. Anakin could barely keep his eyes open, but his heart raced at the sight of the blinking notification. Padmé. It must be from Padmé. Who else would be writing him from an unlisted com frequency?

The man’s life is shit and he just wants to hear from his wife alright?

It wasn’t from Padmé. Anakin, it read, you hardly know me, but your mother would have wanted us to look after each other. I know the Jedi are involved in the fighting. Are you alright? Please, don’t be a stranger. Cliegg Lars.

Cliegg Lars? Cliegg Lars?! How did he even have Anakin’s com frequency? Anakin certainly didn’t remember giving it to him. But then, he didn’t remember much about that last trip to Tatooine. Just the rattle of his mother’s dying breath, the weight of her body, and the stench of burning flesh as he cut down Tusken after Tusken. The rest of it was lost in a haze of rage and grief and sand.

For a moment, Anakin wanted to ignore it, delete it, smash the comlink on the floor. He didn’t need this reminder of his failure as a Jedi and a son, not when he’d just spent the last three days failing over and over again to protect his men. No, Anakin didn’t need this, but maybe Lars did. His mom always said that the biggest problem in the galaxy was that no one helped each other. She would want him to look after her widower.

Both Anakin and Cliegg enter into this relationship believing it’s what the other person needs. My goal is to have it be of benefit to both of them. Cliegg feels helpless and unnecessary within his family, but Anakin helps him to feel useful again. For Anakin, Cliegg is a source of alternate views and paternal support without all the baggage and agendas he gets from Obi-Wan and Palpatine. 

Yawning hugely and struggling to focus his eyes, Anakin sent out a quick reply and feel asleep with his boots on.

Poor boy is so sleepy, Can’t you just picture this? He’s lying on his back and snoring with his mouth open.

****

Cliegg woke alone to the smell of caf and frying eggs. Lying with his eyes closed, he imagined Shmi must have gotten up before him and started making breakfast. But when he reached across, her side of the bed was cold. A few of her dark hairs still clung to her pillow, but it had lost the shape of her head. His wife slept in sand now and Cliegg would sleep alone until he joined her. He let his grief wash over him, then pushed it aside and started his day.

Haha, ow. I think Cliegg genuinely loved Shmi. I’d like to believe that they fell in love and then he saved up to buy her freedom rather than something more sketchy, like him buying her and then offering her freedom if he married her. This story runs with the more romantic rather than creepy version. 

In the kitchen, Beru puttered around the stove while Owen methodically shoveled forkfuls of egg into his mouth. He grunted a greeting as Cliegg floated to the table on his power chair. Since Cliegg’s injury, Owen had taken over more and more of the farm work. He needed to eat fast if he had any hope of staying on top of it.

Shmi’s death and Cliegg’s maiming hit the family hard, not just emotionally, but economically. They lost two valuable workers. I imagine it caused Owen to speed up his plans to marry Beru, just so they could have someone to replace Semi’s missing labor. 

“Good morning,” Beru said as she set a plate and steaming mug of caf down in front of him. Cliegg took a sip of the caf before digging in. The eggs weren’t quite like Shmi’s, but the caf had just the right about of blue milk mixed in. Beru joined them with her own breakfast a moment later. “There’s a message for you on the comm channel,” she said as she settled down on the bench next to Owen.

“Really? Who from?”

“Anakin,” Owen grumbled between mouthfuls. “Days late and a few hundred credits short as always.”

Canon gives us zero clues as to how Owen and Beru viewed Anakin. Like, Owen feels Luke being like him is unfortunate, but that’s about it. I decided Owen would vaguely resent him because a) drama, and b) it kind of made sense. Owen clearly loved Shmi, but Anakin was her kid and he knew he could never compete with that. 

Beru frowned at her husband, but Cliegg just sighed. After years of Shmi’s stories about her sweet, talented boy, the strange young man who had walked off into the desert and came back with her corpse had been something of a disappointment. He’d fixed every broken thing on the farm, but had barely spoken to any of them. What Cliegg chalked up to grief and shock, Owen put down to Jedi pride and standoffishness, and no amount of tutting on Beru’s part would change that. Cliegg had hoped that maybe getting to know Anakin would. It had been a disappointment that when Cliegg reached out and the boy never reached back.

“What does it say?” Beru asked, leaning forward to get a glimpse as Cliegg pulled the message up on a data pad. He read it over, then read it again, and a third time just to make sure. Weren’t the Jedi supposed to have educated the boy? Shmi had been a slave her whole life and she wrote better than this.

Anakin’s writing is usually much better when he isn’t literally falling asleep. In fact, he tends to write very formally. He was teased mercilessly about his manner of speaking when he first arrived at the Temple and is, as a result, hyper aware of how he uses language. That’s why he often comes off as stiff or awkward when nervous, upset, or around authority figures. See, and you thought it was just George’s bad writing.

“Well?” Owen put his fork down and joined his wife in trying to sneak a peek. He had a man’s shape and bore a man’s burden, but, by the suns, he looked just like a boy at that moment.

I went with ‘by the suns’ because Cliegg needed something to swear by and there’s literally only one mention of god in existing canon. I figure what people swear by varies from planet to planet. No one on Tatooine seems to know about or have use for the Force, so that was out. The suns would have to do.

Cleigg chuckled and read Anakin’s message aloud, word for word as he’d written it. “Sorry. Tired. Three days fighting Muunilinst. Lost rt arm Geonosis. Hop u r well. Anakin.”

Autocorrect kept trying to fight me on Anakin’s message. 

Owen and Beru blinked at him as they tried to process Anakin’s incoherent jumble of a message. Owen took a long gulp of his caf to help and shook his head.

Beru’s fork clattered on the table as it slipped from her fingers. “He lost his arm?!” Beru exclaimed. She pulled the data pad from Cleigg’s hand to read it over herself. “He lost his arm and they sent him fight?” She slapped it down on the table with a bit more force than necessary.

The Star Wars universe has some pretty miraculous medical technology, but it’s pretty unevenly distributed. As a Jedi living on a core world. Anakin had access to high-tech prosthetics where a poor farmer living in the middle of no where like Cliegg almost certainly didn’t. It greatly effected their health outcomes. 

What? Cleigg pulled the pad around read the message again. Lost rt arm Geonosis. The fighting there had happened just after Anakin and his woman had left, a little over a standard month ago. Even with all the medicine a Hutt could afford, there was no way he’d be well enough to tie his own boots, let alone fight in a war. Yet, from the sound of it, that’s just what he was doing. The Jedi had promised Shmi that they would take care her son and provide him with an education. Based on Anakin’s message, they’d done neither. Well, someone needed to look after this boy and it might as well be his family. Cleigg Lars set aside his breakfast and began to write.

Man, I misspelled Cliegg’s name a bunch of times in this. Whoops. Well, I’ll go back and correct that on the original. My bad. 

Cliegg is right about the Jedi having failed Anakin, just not in the way he understands. By the end of this, I hope to have Anakin realize that fact too and do something about it. We’ll see how it goes and how I get there.