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Kidnapper: I have one of your friends.  Dancing Banana: Which one? I have seven. 

Kidnapper: The loud, annoying, rowdy one who never shuts up.

Dancing Banana: Which one? I have seven. 

Pear, distantly: HEY!!!

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Announcer: If I went missing for like a week, would you be alarmed?

Boardy: I think so..?

Announcer: That— That’s nice, I didn’t think you’d be alarmed. I thought you’d be—

Boardy: You’re my friend…

Announcer: I don’t like how you said that—

Boardy: You’re my friend!

Announcer: Why are you yelling at me, “you’re my friend??”

Boardy: YOU’RE MY FRIEND!

Announcer: OH GOD!

Boardy: I would be concerned if you disappeared!

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Banana: Fine, I’ll admit it. I still can’t swim! I never took those lessons at the community pool. 

Announcer: Banana, you promised! 

Banana: They wanted to put me in the beginners class with the little kids. I can’t be swimming around with a bunch of five year olds! They can be so cruel when they sense weakness…

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Apple: [ Grilling a slice of cheese ]

Pear:

Apple: I’m making a grilled cheese!

Pear: Where’s the bread?

Apple: You don’t call it a grilled bread with cheese sandwich, dumbass. It’s called grilled cheese for a reason.

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Oldest Nephew, scrolling through his phone: Onion rings are just vegetable doughnuts.

Peel: Sure they are

Oldest Nephew: Your stomach thinks all potatoes are mashed.

Peel: ...okay

Oldest Nephew: Lasagna is just spaghetti flavoured cake

Peel: ...

Oldest Nephew: Lobsters are mermaids to scorpions

Peel, sobbing: Dude, please stop

Middle Nephew, fascinated: No no continue please

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Lemon: You don’t need to worry about me, I just need to worry about me! 

Lemon: And don’t mind the yelling! 

Lemon: I yell when I’m NERVOUS!!! 

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Banana: A year ago, Middle Nephew got bit by a house spider and he was crying so I went to get some stuff to soothe and numb it, but before I could even walk out the door, I heard him quietly whisper, "I can’t handle the responsibility of being Spiderman."

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[ Nephews get in trouble when they’re older ]

Banana: For the past few years, I have done the best I can to raise the three of you. Have I been perfect? No! Do I know anything about children? No! Should I have picked up a book about parenting? PROBABLY?! 

Banana: …where was I going with this? I had a point. 

Middle Nephew: Sorry…

Oldest Nephew: We love you, uncle bossman

Banana, yelling: WELL I LOVE YOU, TOO! 

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Pear: I think… I might have a crush on Banana. 

Apple: Congrats! You’re officially the last one to know! 

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Announcer: How does the end of the show sound?!

Boardy: What has the show ever done for you?! Why would you wanna save it?!

Announcer: BECAUSE I’M ONE OF THE IDIOTS WHO WORK ON IT!!

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Orange, in a haunted house: It’s me, Orange. I’m here alone, so now’s a great time to fuck with me. 

Lemon, outside: You know, it used to tear me up that he would go in and have a grand old time, but now I’m frankly impressed by it. He seems to have no fear, which I used to see as courageous, but now I just think he’s an insane person

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Boardy and Announcer: [ Arguing ]

Banana: Can you guys like stop having relationship issues while I’m on the phone with my dentist?

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I wish Uncle Banana didn’t raise me so well— because this situation deserves a much stronger cuss word than…FIDDLESTICKS!

- Peel during the Cantaloupe mini game

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Cherries: Quit sulking like a baby!

Announcer: I am sulking like a fully grown man!

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Cantaloupe: If you want my advice, walk in there and punch the first person you see. To establish dominance

Broccoli: Aw. I won’t be doing that

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Waiter: What can I get you? 

Banana: A milkshake with two straws please! 

Pear, blushing: Bana—

Banana: [ Sticking both straws in his mouth ] Watch how fast I can drink this!

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Oldest Nephew: You keep hugging my uncle when he's sad. Next he's gonna fall in love with you. Is that what you want?

Pear: *scoffs* is that what I want?

Banana, in the distance: YES