#start posting it. But I don't to until it's finished but everytime I go back to work on the ending

[i-am-beckyu]

Writing for me atm be like this:

and this

and also this

Oh and can't forget this!

Yeah writing has been going great recently......

[mrsjavierpena]

not (un)expected | part 1

javier peña x f!secretary!reader

summary: Javier has one, only one very strict policy: to not ever fuck a co-worker; specially if that co-worker is his own secretary. but you make it such a hard promise to keep

chapter warnings: narcos' spoilers, smut, grinding, unprotected p in v, kind of exhibitionism, (light?) angst, a lot of cursing (its javier pena), kinda slow burn/slow start, unspecified age gap, work dynamics, reader has no name/descripition (but has hair long enough to pull), no use of 'y/n'

IMPORTANT: English is not my first language, i've done my best with grammar but there will be mistakes (fuck prepositions i hate them), so pls overlook those

wordcount: 7k

an: this is part one of a two part story; feel free to reblog and leave your comment. im so happy with the reception of this fic, its my first time posting something here, thank you guys so much for the support - also, if you want to be tagged in part two (really don't know when is coming out) just lmk in the comments.

hope you enjoy!

Javier was known for being an asshole.

Everyone in the office called him that; not to his face, of course, since he was the boss, but he knew, and honestly? He kind of did it on purpose. Being sent back to Colombia to be the CIA puppy didn't in fact thrilled him, but he also wasn't there to make friends. A little bit later than one month into his new position and Javier had already changed secretaries twice. Just by being himself.

The first one was a kind old lady that liked to talk a little bit too much for Javi's taste - which was none. To be fair, he tried to handle her. He listened to her talking of her yougest child finishing college, but she asked him if maybe he could get him a job at the deparment - what in the actual fuck? -, she felt the need to tell him that her older one and his wife were trying to have a baby - he wondered what gave her the impression he wanted to know that her son was fucking someone raw. She just wouldn't shut up. She left not much after a month, at his first snap - took him too long, to be honest.

The last one was a young man fresh out of the academy, who thanked him for the opportunity every time he saw him - which, since he was just outside his office, was pretty often. Despite how thankful he was for the job, he wasn't very interested in working, at least not as he was to flirting with another secretary in the floor below. But that wasn't the worst part, the kid had no idea what he was supposed to do and would go ask Javier for help for every task given to him - he swore he was shaking everytime. Javi didn't care that he was young and was learning, he didn't receive enough to raise a child at work. Didn't last a week.

Javier had headaches just by the thought of who would be sent next. With his current luck, it could be his ex-fiancée. He definitely didn't expect you knocking on his office door and introducing yourself as his new secretary. He was speechless for a moment; you were the combo of the most beautiful woman he had ever seen in his life with a killing black pencil skirt, so tight it showed all your curves. You gave him a firm handshake and asked if he needed anything from you, and, when he denied, that was it. You went to your desk; didn't ask him questions, didn't tell him your whole life, didn't thank him for an opportunity he didn't give you, just went to do your work.

For a while, Javier was glad that you didn't give him any trouble, but that was until you quickly learned his habits. As soon as he arrived the office, you would receive him with a polite smile, a cup of black coffee and his schedule for the day. When he dove into files and forgot he was a person, you would bring him his lunch and wouldn't leave until he had at least a bite - as if he was a kid, what an absurd -, you would sense when he was stressed and would excuse yourself into his office with coffee and a pack of cigarettes and leave without saying a word.

He hated how much he appreciated that - even worse, how he liked that. It didn't take long for him to want to fuck you, to become obssessed with you. And it wasn't just him, he could see every other men in the department - single or not - turn their neck as they watched you pass by. But it was not just that you were hot, you were nice too; he would watch you from his office - not in a creepy way, though, he just didn't have anything much better to do - and you would distribute smiles and polite greetings to every soul that passed your desk, people would constantly stop by to small talk with you and you would let them be for five minutes or so before politely dismiss them to go back to work. Every fucking body there adored you.

Things had always been very professional between you both. Javi held back his flirty instinct and you- well, you didn't even seem interested in him at all. That was untill a very stressfull friday with Stechner giving him shit again. He left the building straigh to the bar, ready to drown himself on whiskey and find a quick fuck for the night, not expecting at all to find you aparently doing the same. Javier considered just ignoring you and go sitting with one of the women that turned their heads in his direction as soon as he entered, but something inside of him made him take the few steps to the bar and get the stool beside where you sat.

You almost spilled your drink when he approached.

"Sorry" you coughed "Wasn't expecting to see you here"

Your body language told him that you weren't comfortable with him there, he saw your backs getting as straight as when you were at work, and immediately regretted joining you.

"Well, that makes it two of us" he raised his hand to order his drink "What's the occasion?" he points to your drink with his chin.

Your grip on your glass seemed to tighten and you took one very long sip before answering dryly "I could ask you the same"

"Work" he raised his brows "It's always work"

"Did something happen after I left?" you pinched your brows.

"No, no, just people giving me shit"

"Oh, I see..." you sighed and silence fell between you.

"So..."

"Well..." you both started talking together and laughed akwardly.

"You go" you said.

"Am I bothering you? Cause I didn't mean to, I can sit somewhere else" he didn't even know why he was asking, he should've just said goodbye and left. He was already standing when your hand found his arm.

You sighed heavily "No, not at all, I'm sorry I gave that impression, sir" you seemed genuine, that's why he sat back "I'm just stressed"

Sir. Why were you calling him sir in a bar?

"Do you want to talk about it? If there's something bothering you we can discuss it and sol-"

"It's not work related" you were quick to interrupt "Work is, honestly, the simplest part of my life right now"

"Things must be pretty bad then, 'cause I see the amount of papers on your desk everyday" that made you chucke "The offer still stands, if you want to"

You took a big breath before dropping the bomb "Broke up with my boyfriend"

Now that was a new territory. He knew absolutly nothing about your life besides you moving to Colombia from the United States; he didn't know anything from your life back there, not your family, friends, definitely not about your boyfriend; and now, somehow, knowing you didn't have one anymore made it even harder for him not to want you.

"What happened?"

"Well, actually, it seems like we had already broken up a while ago and he just forgot to send the memo" you drank your whole half glass all at once ", since he was fucking every pussy that crossed his fucking way"

He was stunned. One thing about Javier was that he was never to deny any woman; honestly, he found every body attractive and apreciatted every woman that gave herself to him. He couldn't say he had a type, but you, with what he saw with your clothes on? He would fuck you every minute of everyday he could. It was absurd to believe someone would give up on you.

"Damn!" he couldn't help but say loudly, making your eyes go wide as if just then realising what you had just said.

"Shit, I'm sorry. I shouldn't be telling you this. I apologise, sir"

"You don't- don't apologise" he almost raised his hand to touch you, but stopped himself before "How did you find out?" you looked at him with raised brows "If you don't mind me asking"

"One of my friends called me last night and told me. She saw him at a bar with two women" you laughed, but there was no humor to be found.

"And you were still smiling at everyone at work today" he was impressed.

You smirked at him "Don't let my personal life mix with work, sir"

"Smart woman" he nods "We for sure have a reason to drink, then" waving his hand to the barman "Let me buy you one"

You don't even bother to refuse.

After three more glasses of what he found out was tequila, your shoulders were much more relaxed and so was your tongue. He found out that you and your ex had been dating for six years when you got the opportunity of job and had to move; two months had passed already.

"And you know what the worst part is?" your laugh is dry "I don't even feel bad because my heart is broken or any shit like that, it's just that is so fucking humiliating" you groaned with your hands on your face "I'm from a small town, you know, by now every soul there knows what he's been doing"

He had to laugh "That's what you're worried about?" you looked at him with false ofense.

"It's my honor we're talking about here!" he laughed even more "It's silly, I know..." you sigh shakly as you take another sip of your drink "But it is humbiling, being cheated on"

"I can't fucking believe anyone could ever cheat on you" he thought. At least he thought he did, but by the way you were looking at him - pinched brows and a curious look in your face, he had to have said it out loud "I mean, only shitty people cheat on nice people. Only shitty people cheat, that's it."

You nodded after a few seconds of silence "You're right, sir"

"You should stop calling me sir"

"I don't think so"

"Why not? We're already half drunk together at a shitty bar"

"Because you're still my boss"

Without any response to that, he looks at you. Really looks at you. Your eyes glassy from the alcohol, red puffy lips looking more appealing than ever... It would have been so easy to just lean in and kiss you. When his eyes came back to yours, it almost seemed like they were on his lips too, that you were leaning in too, that you desired him as much as he desired you and... Then it was not there anymore. Suddenly, you seemed farther than ever, backs as streight as always and eyes avoiding his.

"I should go home"

He agreed. He put you on a cab. He wished you a goodnight.

Then went back to the bar to find someone to not spend the night alone.

The next Monday, though, you seemed even more professional than ever. Wouldn't be around him more than the necessary, wouldn't look him in the eyes and it fucking bothered him.

"Yes, sir?" you entered his office after he called your name.

He sighs as he looked you up and down, his eyes lingering to your skirt pressing against your tights "How are you?"

"I'm fine" you hesitated "Why do you ask? Is something wrong?"

"Lying to me, 's all" your eyes went wide "Listen, last night-"

Your nostrils flared, your hands clenching into fists; you took a deep breath before interrupting him "I am fine"

"Ok, then" he raised his hands in defensiveness "It's just that last night-"

"Last night I was drunk!" you passed your hands through your face "I said things I shouldn't have and I am embarressed and would very much appreciate if we pretended that it never happened"

Javier was silent for a moment. He understandood your apprehension, but damn if he wasn't dismayed by it.

"Alright, 'm sorry I brought it up. But just to let you know, you don't have anything to be embarressed for, you have my word that I wouldn't hold any if that against you and..." and it was nice to talk to you "Yeah, don't worry about that"

You looked at him for a few seconds before nodding "You need anything else, sir?"

Many things, yeah. For starters, you calling him by his name; second, being able to have a casual conversation with you when alcohol isn't envolved and third, your fucking clothes off because he got embarrassingly hard just by looking at you. But instead, he only denied and you left before any other word could leave his mouth.

Javi knew it was for the best. Fucking you would be no good - well, he'd bet it would be hot as shit, but too much trouble for a one night stand. He had a whole city to fool around with, to be focused in someone from his work place, his own secretary, was nonsense. You never even gave him any hint you wanted him, if anything, the actual opposite; you told him yourself last night, personal life away from work.

Javi made sure to remember all that.

➫

He didn't keep those thoughts for long, though.

A few days later, you met at a bar once again. A better one this time and with half of the office joined. It was Feistl's birthday and he invited the whole department for drinks. Nobody could hide their surprise when Javi aproached them; usually, he wouldn't attend this type of gathering, in his rarely free times, he better prefered the company of a good whiskey and a woman, and his colleagues knew that. His employee had invited him just to be polite and that was clear, but he knew you were going to be there, Javi just wanted one more opportunity to prove to himself that you didn't feel the same way he did, that he didn't have the same effect on you that you had on him. Once that prooved, he could move on. So he was there on a mission, trying to be the most discrete he could as he watched you from afar.

The two of you seemed to be the reflexion of each other from across the table, tense bodies and drinks in hand, the only difference being you talking with your colleagues and him not making the effort. To his defense, people weren't trying to talk to him either. Honestly, Javier kind of felt like it wasn't just that they were surprised to see him there, it felt like they didn't want him there at all by some looks he was receiving.

He was okay with that, he guessed, he would much rather analyse your behavior outside work. You didn't seem to change much, honestly; maybe your smile were a little bit more genuine, but the conversations were pretty much the same he heard you have back in the office and it could have been the larger amount of alcohol in your system that night, yeah, but you seemed more relaxed alone with him.

After half an hour there, Javi couldn't bring himself to talk to you, you seemed too interested in a conversation about the new coffee pot in the scullery with another secretary. He was getting frustrated, in another times he would interrupt the other woman and flirt with you effortlessly; it probably had to do with the environment, you were surronded by co-workers, or maybe he was losing his touch - it was almost like he was too afraid to make the move.

Javi decided to leave soon after one hour there. He congratulated Feistl for his birthday, said goodbye to whoever recognized his leaving, paid his bill and passed through the door.

"Hey" he turned around at the sound of your voice, seeing you walking towards him "Are you ok?"

He ran his hand over his chin "Yeah, why wouldn't I be?"

"I don't know" you shrugged "you kind of ran out of the bar"

"'S fine, you should go back inside" Javi pointed at the entrace with his chin.

You tilt your head to the side "I don't really believe you"

"I'm not asking you to" he crossed his arms "And, what, you wanna talk now? You've been quiet at work all week"

"We're not at work, though, are we?" you were quick to answer.

Javi looked you up and down "No, we're not"

"You know" you took a few steps forward ", it's not like they don't like you, they are just kind of scared of you"

Were you watching him too? Why would you say that? How would you notice?

He furrowed his eyebrows "Scared of me? Why?"

You looked at him with yours raised "You know how you act at work, don't you?"

Javi sighed and looked away. He did act like an asshole at work, it didn't seem to bother you, though. Your gazes met again as silence fell between the two of you and he decided to take the few steps left to get you as close as you never got before.

"Are you scared of me?"

You kept your eyes locked as you answered "No. You're not as bad as you think you are" you licked your lips "At least not with me"

The air thickend between the two of you, the only sound being the noises of a night in Colombia. There was no way you were not feeling that too, the way your bodies seemed to linger to each other's direction. He's sure he's not imagining the way your breath heaved, how your chest expansed, the brightness in your eyes.

No, that was real, he was not mistaking it.

A voice broke the tension, you taking a few steps back to a safe distant from him. You both looked in the direction of the sound: a woman was calling you, the same woman you talked all night, at the entrance of the bar, a few feet away from where the both of you stood.

"Maybe if you went back there and paid the next round..." he swore he saw expectancy in your eyes.

"Maybe another time" you nodded; you both knew it wouldn't happen.

You looked at him one last time before walking away "Good night, sir"

Javi nodded even though you weren't looking anymore and his eyes followed the sweet swing of your hips as you made your way back to the bar. He could hear the woman asking what it was about:

"Nothing" you answered.

He would disagree.

➫

Javier was in a terrible, terrible mood. Things weren't going how he thought they would go, not even close to it. Feistl got a good lead about the Rodriguez brothers, one worth following, and he could do nothing about it; had to look to his subordinate and say no to his face. In the beggining, Javi had plans on reediming himself by catching Los Pepes, making amends with the city and it's people by arresting those who he felt like helped to ascend. He felt like a failure, and by the look on Feistl face, he thought so too. To worsen everything, as if it could get any, he had a huge, massive amount of piles to go through.

He lifted his eyes from the paper for the first time in hours when you knocked at the door. He knew your shift had ended a couple of hours ago, but you decided to finish the paperwork of the day so it wouldn't affect his own work the next morning, even though you couldn't have finished it on time because of the extra work put over you. It was something he frequently saw you doing, leaving much later than the others.

"I am leaving, sir. Is there something I could do for you?"

He scratched his chin and sighed heavily "Well, if you could make this fucking paperwork disappear I would built a statue of you"

You exiled a short laugh "I'm afraid that's not possible, sir"

"No, it's not" he reclined on his chair and looked at your body on the frame for a few seconds "Have a goodnight"

You nodded and left. He stood up to get a drink right after, hearing some noises outside that must have been you grabing your stuff. You were probably the last person on the floor besides him, and soon enough he would be alone, like he had been for so many nights, working until late, only able to go home to shower and come back. It wasn't much trouble, though, it's not like he could sleep even if he had the time.

A soft knock on the door surprised him, glass and bottle on each hand.

"Sorry to bother again" you said with only your head in the room after he told you to come in "But do you want help?"

He looked at you, at the pile and then at you again "You wanna help me with that?" you nodded "Why?"

"Nothing better to do" you shruged.

He should've said no. Should've told you to go home and have some rest.

He should have, yes.

"Have a sit" he pointed to the couch with the piles of papers he's been on for the last three hours.

You closed the door behind you and something on his skin tingled. You had never been this alone.

"Want a drink?" you didn't hesitate in accepting, as if waiting for him to offer.

Javier poured you one too and handed you the glass, something you thanked him for as you took a sip and he sitted beside you. You two stayed in silence reading, the only sound being the papers as you tossed them around.

"Can I give you an unasked opinion, sir?"

He almost laughed at that "Go ahead"

"You're separating these by topics, I see" he nodded "Taking one paper at the time and seeing what they are and then doing them separetly " he nodded again "I think it would be quicker if we made piles by the specific topics you have"

"You mean..."

"I mean" suddenly you stood up from the couch and knelt on the floor. Fortunally you didn't see his eyes going wide as you took a pile in your hands and put it beside you "You have a huge office, you should put the files on display and organize them better" you looked at him while taking the other piles "You helping?"

He smirked and hushed to help you. He liked this side of you; more relaxed, kind of bossy, tongue more loose... It was a shame you only showed him when there was alcohol running through your system.

"This, if you don't mind me saying, is how I organize the piles on your desk when I bring them to you, but you seem to prefer the hardest way"

Fuck, he was getting hard.

It was nuts. Absolutly nuts. What the fuck was happening, what effect was that you had on him? You did nothing but say a few dirty words without intention. Completely. Nuts.

"I do prefer the hard way" came out of his mouth before he could control it. If you didn't notice the double meaning or chose to ignore it, he didn't know "But I never noticed, no" he sighed "Honestly, I don't even know how it got to this point"

The paperwork, somehow, did accumulate, even though all he did of his life was working.

"I understand, I can see how you get lost in work" your focus was on the papers and you didn't seem to notice how he shifted on his place on the floor, trying to hide the beggining of an erection.

With your efficiency and new way of working, one hour and a half later and almost the whole paperwork gone, you're on your third glass and him on his fourth. He's used to drinking whiskey, but it was still alcohol, and it was making his skin buzz. You had already took off your blazer - his own gone hours ago - , wearing a thin blouse with a very modest neckline; your legs were crossed, making your skirt move up a little, and he was going crazy with just the tiny amount of skin you were showing.

"Can I ask you a question?"

"Go ahead" you didn't even move your eyes from the paper.

"Why didn't you go home?"

You don't talk for a few seconds and he took the opportunity to stare "There's nothing waiting for me at home"

That got him thinking about your moving there. To go from a small town in the countryside to a city like Bogotá, not knowing a soul; you had acquaintances, yes, but he saw you that day at the bar, they surely were people you liked to be with, but were not friends of yours. Javi had been there, too, actually, if he would be honest with himself, he was still in the same situation. When he moved to Medellín, he had those people he could go out with and grab a drink after work, but that was all; at least until Steve came into the picture, the person he never thought he would befriend with, the only real friend he'd had in years.

"Yeah, I kind of get that" your eyes meet "Work until late for a reason"

"I guess we both need to get a life, then" you smirked.

"Cheers to that" he raised his glass to you, you did the same until it clicked with his "So, life... How is yours going?" he tried to act nonchalant by moving his eyes on the paper in his hand "With that ex-boyfriend thing and all"

Your laugh was low "Don't do that"

"Do what?" he raised his eyes again to find yours still on him.

You tilted your head to the side "Don't go down that road when we're like this"

"Like what?" he caught the exact moment your eyes fell to his lips, so he casually wet them with his tongue. If he wasn't so absorbed by the thickness in the air, he would have laughed at the way your eyes shut and your head fell back to rest on the couch.

"Drunk and... Not thinking straight"

Javi raised his eyebrows "I like the winding thoughts I'm having, though"

"Yeah" the look you gave him made him shiver.

Without breaking eye contact, Javi belted down his drink to gain courage and slowly moved his body until you were pressed side by side, giving you time to get your space again if you wanted to.

"This fine?" his voice was barely louder than a whisper.

You nodded.

"What if I wanted to kiss you right now?" he rested one forearm on the couch to lean his face closer to yours.

You gulped as you stared into his eyes "Then I think you should do it before we-"

He didn't give you the time to finish your sentence before his lips were on yours. Your lips were soft, he could taste the whiskey on your tongue as well with the gums you would chew all day. His right hand went straight to your jawline to lead the kiss. It was not a lulled kiss, neither a gentle one, Javier was ruthless, taking out on your lips all the built up tension from the last few months. He couldn't believe it was finally happening. You were quick to follow his pace, your fingers grasping his shirt and pulling him even closer. The first moan you let out get Javi even more eagered, his hand passing down your body to grab your ass. You took advantage of his action and, before he knew, you were climbing up his lap, knees on each side of his torso, and once you were fully sitted on his lap, you both couldn't contain a moan. At that point, your skirt barely covered half your ass; because of that, he figured that you wouldn't mind his hands slowly rubbing up your tights until they reached the fabric and rolled it up your waist.

Javi parted your mouths to take a good look at you on his lap, his eyes wandered from your heavy eyelids, your lips puffy and red from the kisses, your blouse-covered chest raising and falling as fast as his until they got to the black thong you were wearing and he couldn't help but moan "Oh, fuck me"

"You like them?" your mouth came down his neck to give him wet kisses.

"How wouldn't I?" he held you by the nape of the neck and brought your mouths together again "I've wanted this for so long"

You released some kind of laughter "I know"

"Oh, do you?" he raised his brows.

"You're not exactly subtle for an agent" you murmured between kisses.

He snorts "Well, thanks for the insight"

Javi couldn't resist the urge to touch you through the tiny piece of fabric and you moaned at the pressure at your clitoris, but he moaned too at the wetness he found.

Javi didn't ask you how long you had wanted him, you were grinding on his lap at that moment and that was all that mattered. But he wished you had said it, that you had desired him as much as he had desired you, that all this time he had been imagining this moment, you were imagining it too.

"Fuck baby, you are so wet already" his tongue licked a stripe on your neck "All this for me?"

You answer was muffled by a moan; it seemed positive, but before he could confirm you were linking your mouths again in a searing kiss.

You started moving your hips on his erection and you both moaned at the pressure. Suddenly, his torso is being pushed down to the ground, chests pressed against each other, your fingers tangled his hair and pushed and he fucking whimpered.

Jesus Christ, he was in heaven and was not even inside of you yet.

You grinded furiously against him and he found it absolutly beautiful how you were using him to pleasure yourself and was not embarressed to do so. So. Fucking. Hot.

He felt like he was coming in any second.

"Fuck, you keep doing that and will have me cumming on my fucking pants, bebita"

"Oh, say it again!"

"What? That I'm within seconds to cumming?"

You moaned loudly at that "No- I mean, that too, that's hot, but- oh fuck"

"Bebita?" he felt you shiver at the pet name and chuckled "You like that, huh?"

You grabbed the nape of his neck and lowered your head to crush your lips to his again, tongues fighting heatedly. Javi started to feel that heat boiling at the bottom of his stomach, his hips grinded against yours and the pressure were just perfect; by the sounds you were making, you were as close as he was. Javi reached for you ass and grabbed it with both of his hands and squeezed, adding even more pressure to the grindness. At last, he sucked the pulse in your neck and you started to shake above him; that combined with the sweet noises that came out of you, he was gone.

You collapse on top of him, fingers unconsciously running through his hair; his members were sore and he was so tired and satisfied that he could sleep right there. The both fo you took deep breaths while your head rested on the gap of his neck and his on the floor.

"I can't remember the last time I did this" he was the first to break the silence.

"I actually do this everyday to my pillow" you mumbered humurously and he moaned.

"Shit, you're gonna be the death of me" his hand ran up and down from your ass to your backs, loving the feeling of your curves.

You raised your head to find his eyes and the moment was gone. You both realizing what you just had done, the before contentedness in him that was mirrowed in your eyes then turning into panic.

"Shit" you clumsly stood up. You put your skirt down as quickly as you could.

"It's getting late" it was already late when you came to his office "I should go" you should stay, he wanted to say.

But instead he only nodded. He knew it was for the best. He shouldn't have let it come this far.

You quickly get your stuff and wishes him a goodnight. His eyes don't leave you until you pass through the door, yours, though, don't meet him once.

He stayed there on the floor, cum staining his pants, and even though he was fully clothed, the room had never felt colder.

➫

The next day was pure craziness. After you left his office, Javi went home, took a shower and lied in bed thinking of what had just happened between the two of you and what would happen from then on until he had to come back to work. Before he could even get to his office, you intercepted him with a cup of coffee and the news of a surprise and excruciating slow meeting with the ambassador, which led to another one with the CIA and then the atrocious combination of them both together. By the time Javi was freed from hell, everybody else were already leaving; due to your situation, he thaught that would be your case too, so he was surprised to see you still on your desk.

"I was waiting to see if you would need something else from me before I left" was your answer to the question on his face.

"I think I'm heading home too, actually" after a day like that, he felt like maybe he could even get some sleep.

He had work to do, yeah, and usually it didn't matter to him if his mind wasnt in the right place - it rarely was anyways -, but he knew nothing productive would result from working in that state. Javi also wanted to talk to you; he had so many thing in his mind, what he thought about during that whole previous night: he wanted you. So bad he didn't even know how to express it, so much he let himself cum in his pants just to get the little you were wailing to give to him. And he was concerned about what your reaction to that would be, because it was obvious that you wanted him too, but your actions showed him that you didn't want to want him. All those thoughts were consuming him, but it would have to wait for another day, he didn't think that was the right time, not at work. Maybe he could invite you for drinks and talk things through or-

"I was wondering if we could talk, too" you interrupt his thoughts "About yesterday"

If Javi wasn't a trained professional, he probably would've had his mouth opened in absolut shock. It was like you read his mind.

"Of course" you both looked around the department, the couple people remaining already preparing to leave. Still, he opened his office door and nodded for you to come in.

You were flustered, nervous even. Javi didn't know what to expect from that talk, he wished you would cave in to your needs and fuck him already, but he felt like you wouldn't be easy on him. Honestly, he couldn't read you.

The both of you stood akwardly in the middle of the room, door closed behind you. He waited patiantly for you to start talking, for you to take the lead of the conversation.

"So" you sighed "I wanted to apologise"

His face contorted in a deep frown "What for? You have nothing to apologise"

"I do, yes" you shook your head "It was completely irresponsible and unprofessional and we shouldn't have done that"

If you said you were embarressed last time, about the things you had said on the bar, Javi didn't know what you could possibly be feeling at that moment: your face was getting red, your eyes wouldn't meet his, your hands squeezed each other in your front; he kind of felt bad he was the cause of your discomfort.

"You didn't do anything by yourself"

"I jumped on you like a crazy-ass-horny woman!" over your shoulder, you look outside to see if there was anyone to witness your voice raising; there wasn't.

Javi could barely contain the smirk forcing itself upon his mouth at the memory of you riding him in that very same floor, just a few steps from where you stood. He really couldn't contain the beggining of an erection, though.

"And I loved that" you looked at him as if he was crazy for saying it "I did!" he took a few steps in your direction "And honestly, if anyone should be blamed it's me, I'm the boss, aren't I? The authority in the room or some shit like that"

The way you look at him said that you agreed, that he should be blamed too, should've had more self control, but you didn't say it and that made him smile, the way you still tried to keep your composure at work.

You sighed "Still, it wasn't right and I'm sorry"

"I'm not" he took another step towards you.

"It's not the point, sir"

"I don't think you are that sorry either" your brows raised in surprise "And fucking quit calling me 'sir' now, there's just us in here" another step.

"I'm just-" you shrugged "I'm trying to be professional, that's all"

"Baby we're a little too late for that now"

"Jesus Christ" you pinched the bridge of your nose, he could feel the frustration exhaling from you "You don't like to make things easy, do you?"

"What's the fun in that?" the joke landed flat "I have a proposal"

That got your attention "I don't think I like where this is going"

"Well, that's the thing" he took one more step "I think you do. You fucking grinded on me on this floor until we both came. You want me. What are you so afraid of?"

"You're my fucking boss!" your exasperation made him want to laugh and scream out of frustration at the same time "I like this job, I want to keep it"

"I would never put your job in risk"

"You can't be sure" it was true, Javi barely had a say in anything, but he would do anything in his power for you not to lose your job, especially because of him "And even if this" you pointed between the two of you "didn't make me lose it, it would be living hell if people found out"

"I can be discreet"

You crossed your arms "You're not taking me seriously"

"I am, I promise that I am" he really was "I just- You gave me a taste of what it would look like and now I'm starving for more" he scratched his chin, a little embarressed he let that slip out "I would do anything to have you for one night, we don't have to take work to the bedroom"

"Oh" you snorted "there's a bedroom in the scene now?"

"What?" he raised his brows "You thought I was fucking you in my office?" you went silent "You fucking did"

Javi is no romantic man, he thought about fucking you in every place possible, in the bathroom there, against the nearest wall, but when truly thinking about taking you, it would always be in a bedroom, somewhere you both would be able to take your time.

"Do you fantasize about it?" a step closer "Do you touch yourself thinking about me?" your eyes wouldn't meet his, so he carefully took your chin and angled your head until they did "Where?"

You gulped "Where what?"

"Where did you imagine?" his voice was barely above a whisper.

"Your desk"

"Fucking dirty woman" he smirked "I'm gonna fuck you on my desk, bebita" he took you by the waist, colliding your body to his "And on my couch" his nose traveled from your cheek to your neck "On the fucking window so eveyone can see how pretty you will look with my cock deep inside of you"

"Shit" your voice broke, breathless.

"Do you want it? Huh? To be full of my cock?" you nodded "I want words"

"Yes" you puffed.

"Yes what?"

You looked at him with a defiant look "Yes, sir"

He had to laugh "You are the worst"

His lips collided with yours with so much fierceness he was surprised they didn't start bleeding. His hands were all over your body, your breasts, your back, your ass. You pulled his hair with both hands and he moaned. Javi wanted you so bad it hurt. He decided to be bold and lifted you skirt to your waist, then placed you sitted on the edge of his desk, each of your legs on each side of his hips, pushing everything that was on your way to the floor, paying no attention to anything that wasn't you.

"I hate how you kiss me" you mumbled frustrated between kisses and he pinched his brows.

"You have a very distinct way to hate things"

"You just do it so well" your hands covered his cheeks "Makes me want to do this everyday"

Javi couldn't help but to smirk "I don't see why we can't"

"Yes, you do"

"All I see is a gorgeous woman with tasteful lips" he reached your covered mound and passed a finger through your folds, making you moan loudly ", wet lips" he smirked "telling me she wants to kiss me foverer"

You snorted "I didn't say that"

"That's what I heard"

"You are so cocky" you rolled your eyes.

"Damn right I am" Javi pressed his erection to your thigh.

"Yeah, I felt it yesterday" your hands went to unbuckle his belt, quickly reaching for his cock through his underwear and pumping him a couple of times "You're big, sir"

Javi moaned and threw his head back, enjoying the feeling, barely believing it was finally happening. You put down every piece of cloth in your way to his thighs, put your own panties to the side and started to guide him to your entrance.

"You think is gonna be that easy?" he murmured in your ear, dodging his dick to press on your clit instead, making you moan at the contact, but also groan out of frustration.

"After all this time, it should be"

"You know what I want to hear, baby" he peppered kisses on your neck while still grinding his dick from your clit to your entrance, you were so wet he knew you would have no difficulty to take him.

"Put this thing inside of me, already" you tried to move your hips to get more friction, frustration consuming you.

Even though Javi had a purpose of you to stop calling him 'sir', he could barely hold himself from sliping inside of you, so that's what he did. Your moan as he slowly made space for him inside of you will forever be in his mind. Javi cursed under his breath as your walls squeezed him and he had to take a moment to absorb the feeling. So warm, so wet, so tight, he was in heaven. But you were impatiant.

"Please, move"

"Say my name and I will"

"Why are you so attached to this?" you pinched your brows.

He did the same "Why are you so against saying it?"

You licked a stripe on his neck "To piss you off"

"That's okay" he smirked "You don't have to say it, I'm gonna make you scream it" he held your legs and roughly pushed inside expecting to hit your special place; by the way you gasped and grabbed him, he got it just right "Found it"

Javi ran his nose through your neck and your skin bristled "You're so sensitive here, aren't you, bebita?"

"I'm starting to think that you make me sensitive everywhere"

He laughed and stopped his movements again "Now that's a confession"

"What can I say?" you huffed "It seems like you make my mind go blank when you have your huge dick inside of me and won't. fucking. move"

He laughed and started to slowly take it out just to push it in again at the same speed.

"You're gonna fucking kill me" you whined "Please, faster"

"Are you needy, baby?" he licked your neck "I can feel you squeeze me. You're desperate for my cock, huh?"

"Yes"

"Yes, what?

"Yes, sir"

He increased the speed and you moaned louder "Unbelievable" his hips were reletless and he felt you getting tighter and tighter "You're almost there, aren't you, baby?" you couldn't speak, mouth half opened and nails digging into the skin of his arm "You like it rough, don't you?"

Then he stopped.

"What the fuck?" your voice is hoarsed.

"I'm fucking you slow, baby, is that a crime?" his smile was smudge

"You're evil" you whined, hips moving to find relief.

"I am evil? Who are you to talk about evil? You're fucking teasing me here, bebita. That's so wrong" he started to move slowly again "Just say my name and I'll let you cum"

You nodded your head no.

"Say it"

"No"

"Fucking say. It." he changed the angle to repeatedly hit that spot inside of you and pulled your hair until your back arched.

"Oh my God, Javi!" you screamed as you came hard on his dick, eyes closed tight, mouth opened and body tremblimg.

His name coming out of your mouth was like music to Javi's ears, and hearing it for the first time fomented something insane inside of him. He licked his thumb and pressed it hard against your clit, your eyes widened in surprise and he got a strangled sound out of your mouth as you came again, your body violently shaking under his hands.

"Oh shit, that's it, baby. You're fucking milking me. Shit, shit, shit."

His name was now floating through your lips like a hymn, and he loved to hear it.

"I'm gonna cum"

His words seemed to wake you from your trance "On my mouth"

"Shit" he steped away and out of you and one second later you were on the floor, knelt before him. You grabbed his dick with one hand, put the tip in your mouth and that's all it took for him to cum the hardest he had in his life. You sucked it, greedy until he had nothing more to give you "Let me see it, baby" he asked with a hoarsed voice, asking you to open your mouth, showing that you had swalloed it all "Fucking dirty woman"

You smirked and rested your forehead on his thigh, exausted.

"Come 'ere" he took your hand on his and got you to your feet, holding you against him by your waist "Can you walk?"

"I think I can learn how to do it again, yeah" he chuckled.

Javi lowered your skirt before sitting you on his desk again "How are you getting home?" he asked quietly as he slowly buttoned up your blouse, trying not to startle you and have you running away again.

"I'm taking a cab" you more gently than not stopped his fingers to continue the work yourself.

"Let me take you home" he fished your panties from the floor and put it in his pocked as he wore his pants again

"You don't have to"

"I know I don't. But I'm kind of worried if you will be capable to support yourself for enough time to call a cab after I fucked you this good"

You released the louder chuckle he had ever heard you give as you stood up "You're the absolute worst, Javier."

He started to get hard to the sound of his name on your lips.

"See? Perfectly stable" one of your eyebrows was raised and all he wanted to do was to kiss your attitude away.

"I guess I'll have to fuck you harder next time, then"

"I guess"

You both went quiet as you made your way out of the building and to his car, you only speaking to give him instructions to get to your place.

"There will be a next time, right?" he spoke as you left the car.

How silly of him to think that fucking you once would be enough, would make all the consuming desire go away, if something, it only made him want you more.

You took your time to look at him, as if staring directly to his soul and gave him a small smile.

"Good night, Javi"

[ilovebuckers5]

✧.*Not Friends pt 4*.✧

paige bueckers x reader

summary : y/n thinks she's moved on but she's just going further

word count : 2.8k

themes:

angst

friendship fluff (if that exists)

warnings :

slight sexual content

cursing

A/N : i finally wrote a chapter that isn't 2.2k words guys r u proud of me. i was half asleep when writing like half of this and i tried to spell check as much as possible so PLEASE (cough cough my friends) don't bully if my grammar is shit again

"can i continue now?" nika was just slowly opening her eyes from the 1 hour nap she took on my shoulder. of course she had fallen asleep while i was ranting about abby. "mm what?" nika rubbed her eyes gently as she lifted herself up to lean against the headboard. i stood up slowly to grab my phone that was across nikas slightly messy room. the first thing i see when i open my phone is paige's contact (that i hadn't texted in four days) actively spamming me. my first reflex was to block her and that i did. i quickly set me phone back down before going back to nikas bed and searching for my hair tie.

i finished ranting to nika while she was still on the verge of falling asleep again and after we went out to get food before she went to the gym. "so you said you got her number?" nika said as we walked to her car. i nodded eagerly.

me and nika have been friends for what seemed like years but was only almost one year. between that time we clicked everytime we hung out. the more we got to know about eachother the closer we got. we would hold hands when we went out, we shared all the food we got. i go with her most of the times that she works out. i always play with her when she practices basketball on the public court and she always passes me a volleyball so that i don't have to practice alone in my own time. we may have not known eachother for very long but she's like a sister to me.

during the car ride to the mall, she started ranting about this guys she bumped into while walking to class. "he asked me if i could hook him up with YOU" nika said exasperatedly while pointed her finger at my face but still facing the road. i bursted out laughing, tapping my head against the leather glove box. "i swear every guy i see asks me to put y'all together i don't understand!" throughout me and nika's car ride i felt my phone buzzing and buzzing repeatedly in my lap. at this point i wanted to throw it out the window. everytime it buzzed or rang nika would ask if i was going to get it and everytime i chose to ignore it. i mean it couldn't be anyone that serious. the mall was only 15 minutes away from nikas apartment so it want long until we were inside and window shopping at american eagle. our arms were locked with eachothers while we walked around the large building.

both our eyes lit up when we noticed a weztel pretzel up ahead. "oh my god can we?" i hopped up and down like a toddler asking for candy. nika nodded and grabbed my hand tighter before running ahead to the weztel preztels, dragging me along. we laughed as i tried to catch up with her speed. after our food was ordered, we sat down at a marble bench that was infront of some fake plants. before starting any more conversation i pulled out my phone and took a couple photos for my instagram story. i quickly chose a filter and posted then turned back to nika. "nika do you think paige really wants something with me?" nika looked up from her own phone to regather what i just asked her. "what?" my facial expression faded to an annoyed look knowing that i had to repeat that now embarassing question. "do you think. that paige wants something serious with me?" i said again. nika's eyes widened and continued to stare at me blankly. it looked like the brunette just heard that her mom got killed. "uh....yes." my stomach dropped to my feet. not literally but i felt it. right then and there something in the air switched and it felt like everything was paused and silenced. was i really that dumb that i missed it?

nikas attention shifted to the floor, clearly avoiding my obvious signs of shock. i've met paige but i don't actually know her. i want to know her but something tells me that she's not ready. from what i've heard, she only gets with girls to fuck and then goes ghost and personally i would like to save myself that pain. paige is a good person, that's the only thing her teammates say about her is that she's a good person and if she rights the right girl to be with, that girl is lucky. it's hard for me to think that that girl is me. until i heard it from paige's own mouth i wouldn't believe it. i couldn't pull my eyes away from nikas temple that was faced towards me. "nika. what do you mean?" i said with concern laced through my words. i waited until nika looked back up at me to give her a questioning look. "she talks about you. every time we text. god, it gets annoying sometimes." nika flailed her hands in the air before placing them on her face. "she really likes you y/n. like a lot." my brain couldn't even comprehend the words that were leaving nikas mouth. it all felt unreal as if i was in a dream. nikas hand hovered mine before placing itself down against my fingers. she gave me a shove as she stood up to grab our preztels. "give her a chance." i held out my hand as nika gave me my pretzel and started taking bites out of hers.

after hanging out for a little while longer i started hearing more and more information about paige. first of all, she actually meant it when she said she loves me. second of all, nika has been in on getting us together since i came to UConn. And third of all, the first thing paige wanted when she saw me was to get in my pants but apparently after hearing how much nika talks about me, she sees me as someone she seriously wants to be with. my heart skipped a beat when nika filled me in on that last part. since tomorrow was game day we decided to head home before it got too dark so that we had time to do homework. while we were in the car i couldn't stop myself from asking more about paige. i mean it's not like nika has anything to hide anymore. "ok on a daily basis, how much does she talk about me?" every question i asked was followed by an annoyed groan from nika.

once we got back to the girls' house everyone was already there and relaxed. when we walked through the door the first thing i saw was paiges sweater shirt lying on the back of a chair. the more my eyes wandered around the quicker i found paige's eyes locking with mine. she was sitting on the couch with her leg on top of azzi's and her face was glued to her phone until she looked up at me. a short rush fell down my back as her eyes flashed to my lips and back to her phone. please let that be the only time we look at eachother tonight. "me and ice stopped by the store before we came home and picked up some snacks. i put your guys' favorites in the pantry" aaliyah said with a gentle smile before walking to her room. as i went to turn around and get nikas attention i saw that she was already engaging in a conversation with caroline. i looked down at the floor and walked to aubrey's room, who i noticed wasnt in the kitchen or the living room. i gently knocked on her door. "come in!" i opened the door and shut it gently behind me. "heyyyy" aubrey turned around from her computer to look at me. i gave her a soft wave in response. without saying anything i threw myself on her bed, shoving my face in a pillow.

"why are you so upset?" aubrey said, now completely focused on me. i brought my face up from the pillow to reveal my reddened features. i sat myself up on the edge of aubrey's bed and started kicking my feet back and forth. "ok this may sound shitty of me but i can't decide between these two girls an-" i almost started rambling before aubrey gave me a menacing look and interrupted me. "paige and what was her name....abby right?" my entire face went into immediate shock. no way this had gotten around that quickly. i quite literally felt like i was in highschool at this very moment. getting multiple crushes at a time. drama getting around. my god was it annoying. my head fell into the palms of my hands and i rubbed my eyes trying not to cry. at this point my feet had stopped kicking and there i was again wanting to scream into that pillow. instead of exhausting myself i decided to get out as fast as possible.

i rushed through the room and back out to the living area. i gently pushed by a couple of the girls who tried to grab my attention. the only thing i was able to do once i got outside was just let everything out. tears streamed down my face making my cheeks redder than they already were. the sun had started to set by now and i figured some people might be going out tonight. before anymore of my breakdown could happen, i pulled out my phone and texted abby's number asking if she could pick me up. i knew that she would probably leave me on read or something but in the back of my mind i really really needed her to respond. the second my phone buzzed and it was abby's name with a blank contact asking for my address i couldn't help but squeal. i quickly sent her the address and rushed back inside to change into a black tank top and shorts with a loose jacket over it. i slipped on my socks and a pair of old black converse before brushing my hair through and throwing on mascara. finally after only spending five minutes getting ready, i grabbed my lipgloss and bag as i rushed back out the door. "i'm going out i'll be back!" i yell out to the girls without giving them a chance to respond. the moment i get outside i see a black chevrolet malibu parked on the street infront of me. my eyes peer through the window which was slightly tinted to see abby's auburn hair. i didn't waste anytime getting in her car. the front seat was empty so i assumed that i was able to get sit there. once i had actually gotten in abby immediately waved to me with that same smile on her lips like when we first saw eachother.

"why on earth did you text me to pick you up? someone break up with you or something?" abby said laughing while driving down the road. i didn't even know where we were going but i was just praying that it was a club. "uh just. having a moment you know. i needed a way out, kind of" abby kept a soft grin on her face the entire ride. i'm pretty sure she caught onto the fact that i wanted to get wasted so when she started pulling up to a parking lot in the middle of know where i felt pretty excited. abby parked her car and practically dragged me out and into an alleyway. the both of us were laughing the entire time we made our way to the entry of whatever this place was called. i had my ID in my hand ready to show to the bouncer. the second we stepped into the club there were lights flashing in my eyes and people bumping up against my back while dancing. abby had a strong grip on my hand and led me through the crowd to a booth where im guessing her friends were sitting at. "y/n this is arron, layla, kyrie, and obviously jess" i gave a small wave to everyone and a large smile to jessica. "i'll leave you guys here so you can get to know each other while i get drinks." before i got the chance to tell abby what drink i would want she rushed off to the bar, leaving me with three complete strangers and one half stranger.

abby got back pretty quickly and came with her hands full of drinks. she handed me what looked like a dirty sherley and for the first time, i didn't think of paige. i took a couple sips of my drink as i laid back into the leather of the seat. my eyes wandered around the room and then up to the ceilings. i watched as the lights changed colors against the plain wallpaper. i immediately fell out of whatever i was thinking of when i felt a hand rubbing on my thigh. i looked over to see arron smirking at himself without looking at me. the second his hand tried moving higher up my shorts i gripped onto his hand and tossed it off of me. i cleared my throat before standing up and looking towards abby. "hey abby? dance with me?" i held my hand out for her to hold onto. she took my hand and stood up leaving her drink behind. "drinks on me!" abby yelled out as we made our way to the main dance floor.

i began to sway my hips to the music which happened to be the intro to swim by chase atlantic. my fingers were interlocked with abby's while we both began dancing. the more i began to move my hips the closer i felt abbys hands lurk to my ass. i found a rhythm to dance to and started to grind against abbys waist. her hands were wrapping around my torso getting dangerously close to my tits. the music started to speed up, forcing me to speed up my own pace. this was the moment where i only wanted to kiss someone. abby's began grinding her hips against mine at the same rhythm and before i took things further, i went over to the counter to grab a quick round of shots. no words were exchanged but i saw in abby's eyes that she wanted to go further. i handed her own shot to her and we took ours at the same time. the redhead handed her empty glass to me and i set both of ours on the counter before reaching out for her hips. we were facing eachother now when her hands began to move up my sides, reaching around my boobs. the music only led us down a deeper road. soon enough i found my hand around the back of her neck tugging her into my lips. she maneuvered her tongue in between my lips and started to twist and turn my own tongue around hers. our bodies were pressed together as we proceeded to make out in the middle of probably the biggest crowd i've seen since the last UConn basketball game.

i never imagined this happening when i first met abby but joe that it was happening i couldn't seem to stop. slow moans escaped my mouth that abby began to swallow. finally after dancing for another 20 minutes, abby held me close and whispered in my ear "can you come back to my place tonight?" i nodded without hesitation and wrapped my hands around her hips as we made our way off the dance floor. we passed the booth to say goodbye to everyone then abby payed for the drinks. as soon as we were in her car it was hard to not get in the back seat and continue what we started in the building. abby's hand was resting on my thigh the entire drive to her apartment. the moment we got through the front door i found myself pressed against the wall, legs wrapped around her waist, lips melting together. she slowly moved her hands down to my shorts to unbutton them. i unwrapped my legs enough to kick my shorts off along with my panties. her hands roamed around my stomach before she took my thighs into her hands again to carry me into her bedroom. she shut the door behind her before placing me down on the bed. she sat me down on the edge of the bed and began to spread my thighs apart, placing kisses on my inner thigh. "abby please...." i pleaded as she kept on teasing at my entrance. just as she was about to touch my cunt with her lips she stopped and looked up. that's when i realized that in these past 10 minutes i hadn't looked at abby the entire time since we left the club.

"who?"

[mvjerbs]

Ok so another au idea but story barely changes because this post focuses on Todd. I had small conversation with someone in one of my post made my brain go explode and remember the small scenarios I have with my own nice Todd and it made me giggle cause of the friendship.

In this au, Todd's relationship with Ballister started rough because the boy is insensitive and doesn't realize it.

He was always left confused as to why Ballister seemed so mad everytime they run into each other until Ambrosius (they're friends here) tells Todd about his problem of being rude to others without realizing it.

Upon knowing this Todd feels guilty and plans to apologize to Ballister, before also realizing that he must have done the same thing to Ambrosius a couple of times as well, so apologized to Ambrosius before looking for Ballister (Ambrosius helped him apologize to Ballister).

From then on, Ballister had two best friends who protects him from the bullying and the hate.

Todd developed a crush on Ballister, but soon discovers later that Ambrosius has a crush on Ballister as well. They would have become rivals if Ambrosius didn't share the fact that he(Ambrosius) had been crushing on Ballister before the three of them became best friends.

Todd felt bad knowing that Ambrosius had hid his feelings for so long while he just developed it recently, so he gave up and helped Ambrosius instead.

Cut to Todd's terrible wingman skills whenever Ballister is around. It always results into Ambrosius glaring at him while Todd just smiles and gives him a thumbs up.

Ambrosius: *whispering* "wuh- Todd! what are you doing?!?" Todd: *whispering back* "trying to get you alone with Ballister!" Ambrosius:*whispers angrily* "WITH A RUBBER CHICKEN AND A SANDWHICH?!?"

Surprisingly it works and Ambrosius has no idea why but he'll think about that later, and he'll also thank Todd about it.

At some point, Todd tells Ambrosius that he also had a crush on Ballister but gave it up so Ambrosius could have Bal instead. Made Ambrosius feel bad but Todd reassures him that its fine, and that it would hurt Ambrosius more if he(Todd) would end up with Ballister when Ambrosius had been crushing on him for years.

Soon Ambrosius and Ballister made it official, which made Todd happy for them. Despite the change of relationship, the trio stayed close and would always include Todd.

Except for date nights of course.

As a result, Todd became their child. Always keeping an eye on him and making sure that Todd doesn't accidentally insult someone without realizing it was an insult and to translate what Todd meant to others.

Ambrosius and Ballister would say "mean word/s" to let Todd know. And Todd would correct himself.

Will also add that Todd has the habit to just not continue or pause when he speaks because he assumes that others know what he is talking about, so Ballister and Ambrosius has to always give him a sign to let him know he needs to explain more.

No idea how the story would go in this version because I only focused on the silly Todd moments. Have two scenes that I thought of: Knighting ceremony Ambrosius helped Ballister into his armor, adjusting his shoulder pads in place to secure it. Ballister turned around, smiling at him as if to tell him thank you from his smile. Ballister was about to speak when suddenly an arm was placed over his shoulder which a bit of force which took him and Ambrosius by surprise.

"Hey Ballister, I know things were really tough for you back then, and I really thought you don't belong here." Todd finishes and lightly punched Ballister's shoulder. They were silent for a moment, expecting Todd to continue but didn't.

"And?"

"And what? You proved me wrong and now you're going to be a knight." Todd answers , feeling confused before realizing why both of them seem to look like they were anticipating something.

"Oh, did I do it again? Sorry." Todd apologized, taking his arm off of Ballister before moving to rub the back of his neck sheepishly.

"No worries. it's all right" Ballister reassured him with a smile.

Punchable face "I don't need a si-" "Every villain needs a sidekick"

"I'm not a villain-"

"WOAH! sick murder wall!" Nimona exclaims, excitedly hoping over to the said wall with pictures of people and evidence. "Are these your next targets?" "What?" "Who do you want to kill first?" Nimona asks, tapping her fingers together in a sinister way. Her eyes dart around the pictures on the wall before settling on the picture of Todd with a smug smile on his face. She gasps before pointing towards it. "THIS ONE! This one looks extremely punchable!" Nimona clenched her fist with an excited grin as she pictures herself beating the punchable guy. "Don't say that! He's actually really nice!" Ballister said, clearly offended about what she said about Todd. "Well, he can be insensitive but he's just not aware of it sometimes- wait no- GAH, THAT IS NOT A MURDER WALL!"

[dawnoftime22]

a black cat.

| N.R

Warnings: None

Summary: You and Yelena wanted a dog, but it seems Natasha had other plans, along with a secret she kept away from you.

Word Count: 1.6k

Category: Fluff

A/N: An old work of mine I chose to finish... more of my past works will be posted for now until I finish all my wips that have been left in the dust, so you'll be seeing a glimpse of my old writing here and there

| Started on 21/12/2021, 11:22 AM |

| Finished on 16/03/2023, 10:10 PM |

"The padding of footsteps, and the sound of a soft meow."

детка = baby

|—————————— ⴵ ——————————|

"So...can we get a dog?" You ask, leaning forward at the open space from the backseat.

Nat's eyes were focused on the road in front of her, her hands gripping the steering wheel as she thought about the question.

Yelena was beside her in the front row of the car, and her eyes brightened up when you mentioned about getting a dog.

"Ooh! Yes!! Pleasee? Can we get one??" She asks, looking at the redhead like an excited little kid.

"Oh, my god." Nat says under her breath. She was tired of the two of you begging to her for weeks to get a dog, but she loves you too much to straight up deny it. Instead, the redhead has been making up excuses.

"Come on, Clint has one, we should have one too!" You try to encourage her,

"Then you can go visit Clint just to see the dog." She said to the both of you, turning the wheel to make a smooth turn.

"Yeah, but we barely visit him," Yelena mutters, putting up her pout as she looked at her hands that were in her lap.

Natasha's eyes flicker towards Yelena before going back to the road, the atmosphere going silent.

"Fine. If you don't want a dog, then maybe you're a cat person,” you said in an attempt to convince her to at least get one pet, if not a dog, as you turned to look at the window, arms crossed.

Your eyes went to the rear view mirror, looking at her face, but your head still fixed to point at the window. It seemed like Natasha’s expressions had changed for a split second, before it faded away.

“I saw that!” You jump forward in your seat, the orange streetlights passing by glowing over your skin.

“Saw what?” Nat tried playing it off, but you can see right through her deception. The blonde next to the redhead in the meanwhile, turned her head to look at the both of you, her eyes filled with curiosity.

“You definitely like cats.” Now, Natasha was smirking, and Yelena stared at her with wide eyes and her mouth open.

You stayed silent for a few seconds. Nat looked away from the road with the moment she could, her smirk now a smile. She had a certain glint in her eyes, and honestly, you could already tell she's holding a secret. “...Wait. Don’t tell me you already have one and didn’t tell us?!”

An unbelievable expression was on your face. “…Did you?” Nat's eyes drifted to yours for a second before focusing back to the view in front of her, her eyebrows raising.

“You said I shouldn’t tell you.” Yelena rolled her eyes while shaking her head, not believing what is happening.

You cuss under your breath. Damn the redhead and her stubborn personality.

———— ⴵ ————

After you arrived home, Yelena went straight for her room, saying she wanted to sleep. She's also probably disappointed that Natasha didn’t accept the question of having a dog.

Nat, on the other hand, sat on the living room couch. The dimly lit room hitting her skin in the most perfect ways.

You smile softly, seeing her from the hallway, still near the door since taking off your shoes.

You walk over to her, quickly getting on her lap and embracing her.

You nuzzled your nose into the widow's neck, lettiny out a sigh of relief. A relief to be able to cuddle her almost everytime you see her. Meanwhile, Natasha could be heard giggling, the vibrations could be felt on her neck.

Not before a moment, you still smiling, you pull back and instead went to rest your head on her shoulder.

The redhead was watching the tv, her emerald eyes shining due to the lighting of the screen.

You stare at her for a bit, but soon got up with the help of her shoulders, facing her with your legs around her waist.

You moved your head closer to hers every second, stopping right before your lips meet hers.

Natasha's eyebrows furrow in confusion at the sudden stop.

"You wanna tell me about that cat now?" You teased her, wanting her to give an answer before you gave her what you want.

"Not before you give me a kiss, детка," she challenged. Your soft lips were inches away from hers, making her even more eager to just fill in the gap, but she wanted you to do it.

You smile, her returning it back with a heart-melting smile.

Neither of you did anything, except her scrunching her nose up slightly at waiting and staring at you.

Finally, you inched closer until both of you could feel soft lips touch one another.

She gently pulls away, but still keeping you close. "You're adorable." Natasha said, a knowing smirk on her face, making you go hide back at her neck.

"Shut up." You mutter, her eyes shining with amusement you couldn't see.

"Now come on, get up." Nat suddenly said, having an intention to go somewhere.

"Wait, what?" Your voice was filled with confusion, and you pull back slightly from her to see her face.

"Just get up!" She said with a smile, with her hand moving up in a way to express her seriousness.

"Alright, okay!" You got off her, letting out a small laugh, while she rolled her eyes, and went to lead you away.

When she stops, its at the backdoor of the house. You were curious, knowing that it usually stays locked in order to keep intruders out, and would only be unlocked whenever taking the trash out or emergencies, but for this situation, it seems different. The lock clicks when she turned the key, and she opens the door, her steps going outside. You follow from behind.

Soon, a small meow sounds from under.

You look down, and yellow eyes can be seen staring into you. A soft but curious face looking at the new person that it's friend has brought.

She tilted her head before her friend, Natasha, goes to kneel down in front of her.

Her eyes had a certain shine in them, it was similar as to how she would look at you, but only that it was different. Her hand goes off to rub the soft fur on the black cat's head, down to it's back.

Within the silence, most of it filled by the purring of the cat, Natasha looked up at you, who's been staring at it with a small smile.

"Well? Don't just stand there. You said you wanted to know more." She got one last pet in before putting her hand to her side to let you touch it.

"What's it's name?" You bent down, putting out your hand for Liho to sniff at first. The cat went to rub its head onto your hand, making you feel its cold nose every now and then, but also her way of showing that she accepted your request.

"Liho." A cat named after what means misfortune in Russian. You couldn't have thought any name that fit any better.

You hummed. "Ironic, but a beautiful name for a beautiful cat."

"Beautiful just like you." At that, she looked at you with a raised eyebrow, but her eyes sparkled.

"Cliché." She turned her head back to Liho, and while the small furry friend had its eyes closed because of you scratching and stroking it, its eyes opened after a bit, meowing as if it could understand what the two of you were talking about.

"See? Liho agrees." She laughed, shaking her head, but her heart filled with warmth.

A quietness that only had a few noises of purring, bodies shuffling, and the few crickets that live by, awake for the rest of the night.

"Hey, what are you guys do--" Both of your heads snapped to look at the voice with an easily recognisable accent that came from the entrance.

“Is that a cat?” the blonde asked.

Silence was all that responded.

“Wait…” Yelena's eyes flickered from the furry friend to you, and then to Natasha, piecing together what she was seeing, “Have you been taking care of a cat without telling us??”

Natasha's eyebrows furrowed, her gaze moving back to Liho to avoid her sister's look of smug.

“No... I just see it whenever I take out the trash," she tried covering the truth. Even though it was quite obviously, true. You held in your laugh, your lips tucked in. She almost gave you a deathful glare when she saw you.

“Bullshit. You just wanted to have it all to yourself.” Yelena accused her with a playful voice before she joined to stay beside you. You let her touch the cat by moving your hand. The moment her hand felt the soft fur, her eyes brightened up, and you could see a flicker of excitement.

"Can we take her in?" You ask hopefully, looking at her in such a precious way, that she can't even give you an excuse or deny the request. Then again, she's grown far too attached to her small friend anyway. Even if she doesn't admit it.

Later that night, the three of you went back out to grab some supplies for the newest member in the family. Yelena, whose energy was low after the day earlier, wasn't as low anymore when she went with the two of you. She was far too excited just to keep a pet.

Even Liho was happy to have a few more people to hang around with.

Yelena did want a dog rather than a cat, but Liho is still fluffy and cuddly to have around, so she accepted it. Maybe one day though, she’ll get one.

After a few weeks later, you'd sometimes see Nat hanging out with her small friend. The way she looked so content, it made you adore her even more.

——————————————————————

taglist <3 - join here! :]

@notevenanna

[fangswbenefits]

Inexperienced!Miguel? Oh goodness... my quack is quaking. (I have too many inappropriate duck jokes-)

Miguel knows he has a breeding kink, and hes reminded it of it everytime youre around Mayday, but hes just scared to say anything. He doesn't want to scare you off, and how could he, so inexperienced, demand you of such things?

It isnt until you have him whining and gasping, right on the brick or pleasure and tears when he starts pleading. Large hands holding your hips tentatively as you ride him, nails digging in just slightly from the amount of bliss you're nearly overstimulating him with. And he's so close, just right there,

"Please, please, let me breed you, please," He sobs, practically begging, tears running down his face, his thrust stuttering. You slow to a stop. Staring down at him, absolutely bewildered.

Immediately his cheeks flush with embarrassment as he realizes what he's just blurted out. Tears keep falling bc hes just so embarrassed, stuttering and spewing apologies and excuses. A gentle hand to his throat shuts him up real fast, and he shutters his eyes shut, preparing for some punishment. Expecting you to call him names for terrible such thinking.

"You wanna pump a baby in me, pretty boy?" You coo, and his eyes snap open. "C'mon, then, fill me up."

Miguel is sent seeing stars as you ride him with such intensity, your legs are burning. His head is thrown back, loud, almost lion like groans are falling from his lips. Your little 'thats it, baby,' and other encouragements are going straight to his dick. His feet are planted on the bed so he can thrust up into you harder and faster, crying out sayings you don't fully understand but can't wait to hear more of.

He cums in no time. You'll have to train him to hold it til you cum together, but you finish yourself off for now. After all, he's been such a good boy. And his little high pitched cries as you pulse around him, walls clenching as you reach your high are very worth it.

He won't leave your warmth, so aftercare is a bit awkward as you can't do much. He's just so clingy after spending everything he had in him, he doesn't want to let you go. Poor boy needs to bury himself in your heat and in your chest, arms tight around your waist as he keeps you impossibly close. His breathing hot and heavy as he gulps and swallows at each little flutter your cunt teases him with.

And though he's extremely exhausted, he really hasn't done this enough, but he slides a hand down to your tummy. His warm palm resting on your soft skin. He cannot wait to see you so round and full of him. It sends the blood right back down and suddenly you're pinned under one very flustered face Miguel.

His blush goes deep down his chest, eyes still in post-ogasmic haze, and he smiles lopsidedly.

" 'M gon' get you s'full," His words are slurred as he rests on his forearms. So he can be closer to you as he tries his very best to fuck into you from this position. Trying to remember how you taught hin the first time he had you pinned on the bed, your legs wrapped around his thin waist. "You're gon... be s'full." He pants, swallowing a whine as he keeps going, earning a low groan from you.

Miguel can't tell what's better; That you're letting him breed you, or that you seem to be craving him just as much as he craves you.

-🦆🦆

“"Please, please, let me breed you, please," He sobs, practically begging, tears running down his face, his thrust stuttering. You slow to a stop. Staring down at him, absolutely bewildered.”

[redactahoe]

even more redacted headcanons

i am losing my mind :D

this is just my opinion none of this is canon this is all for shits in giggles and i will infact repeat myself for previous headcanon post srry this is also only somewhat orginized and super unedited

ever person in the shaw pack has/had a crush on darlin

darlin has been voted as the 'hottest person in the pack as well

babe is classically trained in piano and viola and one day dreams to own they're own grand piano don't worry davids rich ass may or may not be planning this as a wedding gift for them

playing off that last point babe hates it when people after finding out they can play, start demanding not asking no demanding them to play something. everytime this happens (which isn't often at least with the shaw pack that is) asher has to physically hold his mate back from violently shoving they're viola bow up the assholes... asshole

instead of hush just waiting at docs apartment for them to come home from work, he would rather creepily sit with his knees to chest in an extra spinney chair in the corner of docs office. like he'll act 'normal' when its just him and doc, but if someone comes in for any reason hell stop talking and just watch them

mentor actually isn't that nice to they're coworkers but when they first saw ollie they were smitten, like ollie is the only person they talked to outside of work stuff. they were not there for water cooler small talk😭but for ollie they would do anything

on that same not i am a firm believer in james spouse being stoned faced with everyone except james and the hand full friends that they have

asset loves listening and asking questions to anton or james talk about their respective spouses

anton has been slowly building up a collection of shiny rocks hes either fond or bought so when he finally gets to go home to his partner and give to them

david is actually besties with babe because their both people who see Asher on a consistent bases and therefore meet up every other week discussing the various type of shenanigans asher gets into

darlin and brights have a bone room in sam and darlin's house.... let me explain, so it is of my firm belief that 90% of the shaw pack is neurodivergent and darlin is not exempt from that. bright also has some vague form of neurodivergent that bright refuses to anyone and this all comminates into both of them coincidently having the same special interests in bones and animals in general. and since sam (according to asher) owns this big ass cabin in the middle of the woods, it was perfect. and bright didnt have the bone room is because they had a small enough collection to keep in their room at sams place. that is until darlin moved and pulled up with their extensive collecting that they've had since the age of 10 and sam was very willing to put one of those 'guest room' nobody uses them bright happen to be there the day darlin and sam were able to get the aforementioned bone collection home form storage and they lost there collective mind with excitement. and sam got watch with this fond and loving twinkle as bright and darlin ramble and trade facts about animals and their bones (and darlin got to teach bright how to properly clean bones it was adorable)(ok ill shut up about this)

angel loves to recreate outfits from many types of videogames and tv show and uses packmembers (read as: tank and asher) as mannequins.

going off that last point(again) david loves listening to angel ramble about they're latest project and intentionally searched and bought a house with alot of big ass closets so angel can hang up all of the finished ones and store all of the stuff they need to make

ftm!guy is rarely ever dysphoric b/c while honey isnt the greatest at expressing their emotions they are incredibly attentive with guy and his needs and wants so this means that honey is always checking in on him. not only that but early on when they were just roommates that one other girl's boyfriend that they were rooming with (i forgot her name) made an off handed/gross comment about guy and honey literally kicked his ass out. like they picked he disgusting ass up and threw him out of the fucking apartment.... guy still laughs about to this day.

i fully believe that the damn polycule does and should include laskos listener (dear) and they can infact dom anyone

all of the de(a)mons can infact purr but gavin and caluem are most open about that fact.

lovely didnt grow up or live the riches life so when they started to dating vincent they had hard time excepting all of Vincent and williams expansive gifts all the while Vincent love langue is gift giving

lovley loves music so much. like its the hyperfixation, anything to do with music and i mean anything lovely could probaly tell you about. and much to willams delight that means he now has someone to talk about music and art from his time peroid (hes over 500 y/o yall) and them knowing exactly what theyre talking about

despite the fact that alot of people will say that lovely is William's fave, its actually untrue. williams favorite is actually darlin, i know i know but stick with me here. i think alot of the clan members to tend to question or disagree with william because hes their king but darlin is very diffrent. i think that once they start attending clan meetings the kinda behave like they're at pack meeting b/c its essentially the same thing. so theyre always asking questions, giving suggestions and even calling william out when he sometimes gets things wrongs. and william loves this, he loves how engaged they are and recognizes that thats just how darlin shows that not only do they care but that theyre listening. hell he'll even tell someone (even if sam has alredy told them the stfu) that trys to rudely interrupt darlin with " YoU SHoUlDnT iNtErRuPt ThE kInG!" to stfu if you dont have anything meaningful to contribute

everyone(excluding like a handful of people) in the both shaw pack and the solaire pack is kinda protective of babe and angel. and its not just because they're both humans its mostly because both of the are humans that treat others as humans. let me explain, so in empowered society ive noticed that vampires and shifter are treated differently form other empowered people. its really supple but anyways both angel an babe see no reason to interact with vampires and shifters any differently from how they would interact with any other person and most of them really appreciate that. people tend to talk to shifters like they're animals of some kind and people tend to act like all vamps have no control over theyre impulses and hunger and when both are asked angel tells the person that no matter what kind of magic got, it doesnt matter. because at the end of the day they all are/were human. with babe youll get similar answer but they'll tack on that its important for everybody to remember that they are people, human of not people are flawed and will make mistake. and trying to pretend that your above/below feelings and flaws is very bad for ones mental health. and thats how alot of older generations of shifter/vamp end up living in the middle of bumfuck no where, borderline insane and very lonely

welp thats it for know

thx for reading sorry if i forget any tags

[fimmiest]

beautiful feeling - hong eunchae x gn!reader

sypnosy: with the wrong impression that chaewon was going to scold you, you got surprised when all she said is that you have a thing for hong eunchae.

tags: eunchae x 6th member!reader; reader 04' line; fluff (?)

"So..." chaewon started after all the members left and it was just you and chaewon on the practice room. you knew she was tired as you were, and you didn't force chaewon to stay and practice with you, but when she said 'of course, which leader would I be if I didn't help my members' you knew something was off, she didn't pulled the leader card until it was something serious.

And so, knowing it you did what you did the best. tried not to mind and ignore her so chaewon would be distracted and will probably even forget the situation!

You hurridily started the song before she could say anything more but knowing you better chaewon was quick in pause it and she turned to glare at you serious

"y/n." she starts and you were waiting for a scold but what chaewon said caught you off guard.

"I think you're in love"

What

"with eunchae."

Huh??

"Look I'm not judging" she started serious as ever, looking deeply in your eyes "But everytime you look at eunchae you have this glint in your eyes.." she completed with a more soft expression and got closer to gently rubber your shoulder in reassurance.

"You probably didn't notice it yet and I'm just feeling it.. but is so cute to see that everytime you look at Eunchae you have this sparkle in your eyes.. and I just felt you're falling in love with her." chaewon finished and took a step back knowing you were going to need some time processing all of the sudden information.

You foolish opened your mouth to answer chaewon but quickly close it as your mind fully ran in thoughts of the interactions you have with eunchae. you thought that sharing food, hugging and the sudden hand holding was friendly, your members did it after all. but you started to think about the little swoop you felt on your stomach everytime eunchae smiled your way or the day you two forgot to talk to the camera of the vlog because you both were having fun just talking together, how eunchae always sneak to your room to sleepover and how some nights you two had late night walks talking about anything and everything because you knew eunchae would always comfort you if needed... oh you were in love.

You looked up at Chaewon who had a small smile tugging at her lips now, clearly seeing the gears turning in your head but she didn't wanted to interfer your moment. and as some irony of destiny, the sound of the practice room door opening startled you both and the always smiley eunchae rushed in "unnies! sorry, I just noticed i left my phone here when I got into the car" she hopped to sofa past you both to get it, but before leaving again eunchae quickly side hugged chaewon and after turned to hug you, but you didn't expect the bonus kiss eunchae let on your cheek and a "don't get home too late ok?" which you mindlessly nodded because seeing the litte pout on her face made think you even less.

After eunchae left the practice room you mumble something under your breath and covered your now flushed face with your hands making chaewon laugh at your reaction "oh you have it bad don't you?"

note: heyy hello, i dont usually write and english is not my first language so im kinda insecure to post something but yeah lesserafim got me on a chokehold to do something so there's this, hope you enjoy it!

[polkadotjohnson]

Warning - this has about 19k words

So I just finished posting Inamourada and then I was like, wait, protag slashes their arm every other day to give it to him and is fine and he was making all that drama about not wanting to touch silver just because… it would burn a little? So I wrote this.

Tried to fix/address other stuff also that didn't make sense in part 1 because I wrote that in a 3 day frenzy. Don't know if I got all of it… I've been trying to post this for like a week, but everytime I try I find something new to fix, to add, to delete, and this is the last time or it will live in my Drive forever along with many, many others. If you do find something that doesn't make sense tell me so I can cry try to fix it or something thank you for your services

There's... smut? Kinda? Can't really write detailed stuff when I can't even decide protag's gender fml and I wouldn't really feel comfortable posting explicit stuff here even though my ao3 is pure filth Speaking of ao3, this would probably be rated 'M' there.

🦈 guess I'm jumping all kinds of sharks 🦈 with...

Your Best Nightmare, a sequel to Inamourada

1

"So... When are you going to bite me for real?" You don't take your eyes off the road, but can still see him squirming beside you.

Even with the small orange plant now in the backseat, he's still visibly uncomfortable in your tiny old car. He's too tall, his legs are too long, and you know he's more of a perching than sitting kind of guy. "I'm not sure what you mean. I bit you just the other night."

This time you quickly glance at him so you can scoff while looking directly at him. "It didn't even break the skin!" Although you really, really enjoyed it. You thought that would be it, that he was finally granting your wish, but it seems his words were more real than you imagined. He really was just toying with you.

Drinking his blood did heal you, but it didn't change you. And his emergency self-surgery left a nasty scar on his neck, which you were quick to clean and bandage. The piercing burned his fingers too, but he didn't even let you look at them. You tossed all your silver accessories away.

"Just... wait a little longer."

You want to ask, for what? But annoying him doesn't seem the way to get things to happen.

You glance at your watch. "An hour and a half til dawn. Wanna stop at the next town and search for a place to crash?"

"Yes." He sounds so relieved that you smile. "You are going to ditch this shoe box and find a bigger one."

You raise an eyebrow. "Oh, so you've brought your limitless vampirican express card then? Because I do have my savings, but it's hardly enough to just drop it on a new car, especially when this one still does the job. Or you're suggesting we joyride?" You shrug. "Cause I'd probably be on board."

He sighs as if completely exhausted of you. "You have so much to learn."

*

You're digging through your bag, trying to find your wallet, when the clerk starts to greet you. "Good evening, what can I-" You raise your head to see what interrupted him, and Vincent is standing beside you looking at him with almost feral intensity. You still have a moment to see the man's eyes turning glazed and unfocused before he turns and takes a key, leaving it on the counter. You grab it with a gleam of fascination in your eyes. "That is so neat! I mean, it's not the Ritz but still… wow."

"Which room?"

"Uh, fourteen." He leaves quickly and you follow, wondering what's the rush. Does he need to use the bathroom?

…Does he-

Well, you don't really want to go there right now.

"Lemme open it." The moment you take a step into the room, he's on you. His hands cradling your head and his entire weight causing you to take several steps back until you're right by the bed. "Woah, take it easy, stud! I… I'm…" Your heart is hammering in your chest, because you can't even pretend that you don't want this. That you don't want him. But you never thought he'd move this fast. You just kissed a couple of days ago. And you're still not even sure if it meant anything or just a pity goodbye, since you were dying and all. "At least let me take a shower first, and…" He's a dead weight on you. "Vincent?"

"...Bed." His voice is a little more than a whisper, but not in a seductive way. More in a 'I think I'm dying again' way.

"Oh, shit. What happened?" You try to get out of his way so he won't fall on you and push him as high up on the bed as you can.

"...Tired. Let me sleep."

You eye him suspiciously. "Are you sure that's all it is?"

"Hm."

"Do you want some blood?" You make to grab your new (steel) dagger. No response. "Vincent?" He's fast asleep, his chest rising and lowering slowly. His face is paler than usual and his forehead is cold, despite the droplets of sweat that just started forming there. This can't be good.

Careful not to wake him up, you lift the bandage on his neck and flinch. You have no idea how you couldn't smell it before. The wound is festering, pus leaks from it freely now that it's uncovered. You quickly grab your first aid kit and try to clean it as best as you can. It continues leaking until you cover it with a fresh bandage.

It takes you six tries to light up your cigarette with how much you're trembling, and you don't even realize you've lit up a second one until you finish it and see two butts in the ashtray.

What are you going to do? This is all your fault. Titanium, steel, gold, aluminum, brass, bronze, copper, plastic, bone. Why did you have to be wearing silver piercings? Why did you have to try and do something you knew you weren't going to be able to?

Why did he have to help you? He should have just left you there. Isn't he supposed to be a monster?

You grab your blade and make a small cut next to other scars and stand next to him. "Please." Please have some. I'm sure it'll make you better." You let it drip into his parted lips just like you did that night that now seems like so long ago. The blood runs down the side of his mouth and dies in a red dot on the bed. "Fuck! What do I do?"

"...Be quiet and go to sleep…" His tongue does peek out to lick at the blood you tried to feed him.

Making sure the blinds and windows are well closed, you take off your shoes to do just that, but not before removing his first.

(You were wondering if his feet were clawed too. They aren't.)

His face is still cold to your touch, and you throw a blanket over him before you turn out the lights and lie down beside him.

*

The bed looks like a crime scene. Besides the blood you've spilled over him, you completely forgot to dress your wound, and apparently you tossed and turned all night, spreading red everywhere. You were so scared to fall asleep only to wake up with him dead by your side that the stress ironically made you so tired that you blacked out.

He's still breathing slowly. If it weren't for his flaxen complexion, you'd think everything was okay.

Your watch tells you it's 3:15 p.m., and your stomach complains about being neglected. "I doubt this place has room service," you say with a weak laugh as you get up. "Try not to die while I'm away, okay asshole?" He doesn't stir, and you open the door just a little, hanging a 'Do Not Disturb' sign on the doorknob.

After raiding the vending machines, you grab your laptop from your car, searching through your spell books, which you took the trouble to digitalize. But they're all mainly about necromancy, there's nothing about silver poisoning. The internet isn't helpful either. To the world, things like vampires and necromancers are nothing but fiction. You're lucky your grandma left you those books. Reading about the various different resurrection spells, you found there was a specific one for vampires, which is when you found out the possibility they could actually be real, and that's when your whole obsession to find and become one started. You knew the books were serious when your cat was run over and you tried a spell on him. He lived to be 28, which is highly uncommon for a cat.

And no matter how many books you read, one law was always the same: no creature can be revived twice. You still tried with your cat a second time, but nothing happened. At least you got to spend a long time together, and you were thankful for that.

But this has nothing to do with your current predicament, and you need to figure out what to do. He was fine the past few days, why did he suddenly collapse like that? Was it after he used his powers on the clerk? That had to be it. "I could have paid for the room, you didn't have to show off."

You return to the room and sit beside him, leaning against the headboard. He rustles under the covers and your heart hurts a little looking at his pained expression. "You really don't know what I should do? How do you get better?"

He takes a deep breath, but doesn't open his eyes. "...I'm trying to sleep it off."

You groan. "Dude, it's not a hangover! Your neck is fucking rotting!" 

"You're being dramatic."

"No, I'm really not! You have to know what to do! Last time you were dying you didn't say anything, so I had to figure it out on my own. Don't be like that again." He doesn't say anything to that, and you sigh. "I could try to stitch it…"

"Wouldn't work."

"Why?"

"...It just wouldn't."

With the way the wound is necrosing, he's probably right. There's something you've been meaning to ask him ever since that day but kept forgetting. "Why didn't you cut yourself with your claws?"

"I… can't hurt myself with them, only others."

"Oh. It's probably for the best though, I mean what kinda mishaps you could have in the toil- uh, I mean…" You look at your watch. "Oh, look, it's uh, 4:08 y'know, dessert time. Be right back." You're off the bed and out the door before he can even open his mouth. You think even your hair is burning. Why don't you think before you speak?

You don't really want dessert, and besides, you left your wallet behind. So you just sit on the floor beside the door with your head down, wishing a hole would magically appear and drag you to hell.

"...Come back."

"Shit! How did you know I was still here? You're not using your powers again, are you? Because I'm pretty sure that's what got you like that."

"I can see your shadow."

"Oh." Betrayed by your own shadow.

Closing the door behind you, you lie on your side so you can face him. You try to tell yourself he's looking slightly better, hoping it's not just wishful thinking. "Does it hurt?"

The smallest movement of his shoulders. "Less than being staked through the heart."

You wince. "There has to be something we can do. Someone that can help us."

For the longest time he doesn't say anything, and you think he's fallen asleep again. Then he raises a hand. "Give me a map." You immediately bring up one on your phone. He points to a name, probably a small town. Doesn't seem to be far away from where you are right now. "I know someone here."

"...You have friends?"

He chuckles silently. "Something like that. Although I doubt any of them were ever stupid enough to get silver in their bloodstream."

"Well, let's go then!" You start to get up but he holds your arm.

"Show me."

For the shortest moment you have no idea what he's talking about. Then you fish the silver pendant from under your clothes so he can see it. An owl sitting on a crescent moon. You fell in love with it instantly.

It was in a jewelry box he handed you a few hours after you were on the road. It belonged to his mother, and you wondered how his life would have turned out if she had been wearing it the night the vampire who turned him showed up.

"Can you walk?"

He pulls you with enough force that you fall back on the bed. "Wait until the sun sets."

"Oh, right. That probably would be for the best."

2

"Are they cemetery ghouls like you?"

He's reclined the seat as far as it would go, but it still looks uncomfortable. "You mean like us. Don't worry. They'll know when I'm nearby, and they'll make themselves known."

Before leaving, you offered him your arm again and he took it, drinking enough to regain some of his strength. And his wound looked... only slightly worse.

"Who-"

"Let me rest."

"Ugh, fine." It's probably for the best anyway. The radio is low, and you sing along, quiet enough that you don't think you're bothering him.

"You have a nice voice."

Your hands clutch the steering wheel tight, unsure if you heard him right. Because other than the taste of your blood, this is the first time he's ever complimented you. You look at him to make sure you didn't imagine it, but his eyes are closed, arms crossed and breathing slow. "Watch the road."

"Shit! How-"

"Listen. They can't know I'm… unwell. If they do, they might do something." He pulls up on the collar of the overcoat he put on before you left, making sure it's covering the wound.

"They might do something? What kind of friends are those?"

"I never said they were my friends."

"Alright, alright, whatever. But then… how are we going to ask them for information about silver?"

"I guess we'll just have to… work it into conversation."

"Great." You drive in silence for a while longer. But there is something you just have to ask. "So… what if I asked for one of them to bite me?"

He yawns. "You wouldn't. You want me."

It hits all at once: face burning, cold, freezing butterflies in your stomach, anger, resignation. You barely pay attention to his explanations that not everyone has the ability to turn others anyway, certainly not them. "You're so full of yourself."

"Am I wrong?"

You rather not give him the satisfaction. Instead, you go back to the song on the radio, raising the volume a little. But you have to lower it again, because you don't think you've heard him right. "What's that?"

"I said you're under my spell right now. I could make you do whatever I wanted."

"Are you… is your fever back? Are you delirious right now?"

"Hit the brakes."

Your head feels fuzzy all of a sudden, and you obey him before he even finishes speaking. It makes you speechless, like you have so much to say you don't even know where to begin. "You… you idiot! You're gonna get worse again! Why… what…"

He sits up and holds your face with both hands. "This doesn't affect me like that. But thank you for your concern." He leans towards you, gaze going from your eyes to your mouth, but you can't stand to look at him right now, instead lying your head on his chest and trying to pull him closer.

"Is it because I drank your blood? He hums in affirmation. "So? What would you have me do, then?"

"...That is your instinct? I say I can control everything you do and you get closer to me?"

"I've never had much self-preservation, what do you want me to say?" Besides, he's said so himself. Why waste energy when you're so willing?

"You should definitely never get near Sebastian." He pulls away from you and lies back down, and you resume driving after a moment.

Nothing he says or does makes much sense to you. Why did he even tell you if he wasn't going to make you do anything?

You suppose he's just a hedonist, doing what he wants, whenever he feels like it without thinking too much about it. 

…Not that you're all that different if you're being honest "We're almost there."

"Hm." You can hear a tinge of grumpiness in his voice that makes you giddy, but you try not to let it show in your face.

You want him to kiss you all the time. You want him to kiss you until your lips fall off. But to know that he might feel the same even if just a little makes you almost happier than if you had let him.

You park the car next to a sign that indicates the name of the town. "I think this is it. What do-" A sudden bump on the roof of the car interrupts you, and he sits up quickly.

"Remember, whatever you do, don't-"

"Hey, Vincent, so it's really you!" Someone's upside down face appears out his window. A woman, you can't tell much about her other than she's obviously a vampire too, the pale face and red eyes giving it away almost immediately. "Long, long time no see. What brings you back to my humble abode?"

He smiles pleasantly. "Grace. Still as much energy as the last time we saw each other, I see."

"Oh, you mean when you left me for dead and ran away with your next conquest? Yeah, good times. He's here too, by the way. Said you got tired of him even faster than you did me." She plops down to the ground, and someone opens the door on your side, pulling you out of the car before you have a chance to protest.

"What's that, are you bringing us fresh meals now?" The vampire starts to examine you, his eyes going straight to the pendant you're wearing, but Vincent pulls you away from his grip, snaking an arm around you.

"Sorry, not for you." Despite his condition, you feel safe enough now that you allow yourself to check them out. They're both so unnecessarily attractive that it makes you feel inadequate. The woman, Grace, has a doll face, black hair with a white strand that makes her look like a Hollywood starlet. You still don't know the man's name, but despite him having a more generic beauty, it is the kind that makes you think of superhero movies. "I seem to remember having taught you well how to get any prey you so desired, Paul. So eyes off what's mine."

His words shouldn't floor you like they do, you know it's mostly for show. And looking at them does make you wonder what he's doing hanging around with you when apparently those are his standards.

Then again, you are his willing food source.

Grace checks you out, much like you did with her, and turns to the man. "Have I told you Paul, how many times he told me I was perfect? I bet it was the same with you."

"Nnnope." Paul crosses his arms with a smirk, still eyeing your pendant. "We weren't much for talking, anyway." He winks and clicks his tongue, and Grace slaps his arm.

"What can I say." His voice is right in your ear, making you shiver. "The heart is fickle."

Grace moves a hand to touch you, but pulls back after looking at him. You can only imagine what kind of face he's making. "Feel free to come find us when he's done with you. Vincent's rejects club. Although if he still hasn't turned you by then, I can't guarantee how long you'll last." She frowns. "Why hasn't he turned you yet?"

"You know, I was wondering the same thing." Her words don't really affect you, probably because you're still somewhat in shock that, of all the things you could have possibly found out about him, the fact that he's apparently a player wasn't one of them. It shouldn't have surprised you, really. You did see him go from the blonde cougar to the girl in a matter of days. "I've been asking him for months now, and nothing." His arm tightens around you, but he doesn't say anything.

"Months?" Grace raises a hand to her mouth. "Have you... have you actually settled down, Vincent?" You notice Paul isn't around anymore. You also notice you have no idea where you are. There's just an empty field and a barn. The third thing you notice is that you missed his response, and you curse under your breath.

A black cat jumps on the hood of the car, and you try to go to it, but his grip around your waist stops you.

"Brought Tony." Paul rests an arm around Grace's shoulder and she holds his hand. The cat looks at you, and his eyes have a red glow to them.

"Wait. Them, I can understand." You manage to turn around a little so you can see his face. "But are you gonna tell me you've bitten a cat? Why… how… you know what, I don't even know what question to focus on…" You call to the cat, and he approaches you, rubbing his head on your hand. "You poor thing. Damn, how hungry were you?" Vincent just smiles enigmatically at you.

It's the first time in your life that you're jealous of a cat.

"Oh, cut it out, Tony." Grace playfully slaps the cat's hind, and he hisses at her, then goes back to rubbing himself on you.

"You're such a handsome boy." You try to pick him up, but Vincent shoos him away. You turn again to chide him.

"Aw, thanks."

You freeze, finger halfway to Vincent's face. That's not Paul's voice. So who…

When you look at where the cat was, the only one there is a young Asian man with a sweet smile. He's cute. And naked. "Okay, what the fuck?"

Paul hands him some clothes he'd been holding, and the guy just starts dressing up like it's nothing.

Vincent smirks. "Tony. Was it everything you've ever wanted?"

"Oh man, I love it! Okay, like, I lost my job at Wendy's because they only had day shifts, but it doesn't matter. I'm having so much fun, you have no idea. Speaking of which, let's spar, I want my sire to see how much I've improved." He's already getting onto a fighting stance.

Vincent's smile tightens. "...I'm weary from the trip, maybe later. I'll trust your word."

"Really? Aw, man. Okay, okay. Oh and by the way, I'm loving this reunion thing, but it's gonna start raining in about two minutes, so we should get inside."

Grace and Paul start walking towards the shed. "Good idea. Then maybe you can tell us why is it that you're alive, Vincent, hate of my life. Or are you a zombie vampire now?"

Oh, right. They felt him die too, just like Sebastian. 

"It was just a… misunderstanding, that's all." He starts following them, but you stop him.

"Should I park the car closer? What if-"

"Just leave it. Nobody will want that piece of junk anyway. It doesn't even start without you having to sacrifice a small child to it."

"Oh, that's a little too much, don't you think? I just have to… talk to her gently. Give her a little encouragement, that's all."

"It's okay, honey." Grace turns to look at you. "I promise you no one's gonna touch it."

You can't argue with her conviction, so you follow them. She opens the door, and just a few steps in, you can't believe your eyes. The barn looks like something out of a catalogue. It was modified into a cozy, spacious house, every room separated by different kinds of partitions and an actual walled part, which you imagine are bedrooms and bathroom. "Wow, this is incredible! I thought every vampire lived in squalor like you." You turn around, but Vincent's still outside, the first droplets of rain already starting to fall. "Uh, are you planning on showering in the rain?"

He smiles condescendingly at you. "I can't come in. Which is strange, since I've been here before."

"Oh, I almost forgot." Grace watches him with, well, with a graceful smile. "I put up all kinds of protection spells so no one would find this place, and I think your credentials have been revoked. Oops." She doesn't invite him.

He glares at you. "Come out. Now." His usually calm and tranquil voice now completely stripped of every emotion but rage. Your head starts feeling fuzzy again, like it did in the car. The desire to do what he says is bigger than anything else. As you take a step towards him, Grace holds your arm.

"Don't be mean, Vincent. You don't want your dear friend to catch a cold, do you?"

Not being able to do what he ordered makes you feel like you're being torn in half, but Grace's grip on your arm is unrelenting.

His face as he looks at her holds the same ferocity he used on the hotel clerk, and you want to tell him not to do it, but your head is too hazy. You see her eyes start to glaze as both sides release you, his in your mind and her hand on your arm.

"Vincent, stop it. You can come in." For the first time in the night, Paul's voice is serious. He pulls Grace into his arms just as Vincent all but stumbles into yours. Despite being wet from the rain, from his expression you can tell he's already sweating.

"Why did you do that? You know I have this." You show him the pendant and quickly tuck it into your clothes so it won't touch him and pull him to a nearby couch.

"Still… too risky…"

"Why did you even give it to me, then?" You desperately need a cigarette, but despite seeing an ashtray on the coffee table, you're not going to smoke inside before they tell you it's okay, and going back outside is out of the question. You look around, hoping they won't try anything, but Paul seems to be making sure Grace is okay, and you have no idea where Tony is. "Do you wanna drink some before you rest?"

"No!" He opens his eyes, and almost looks like he wants to use his powers again, so you make sure to send him back the same exact kind of glare. "Not now."

"Calm down, I get it! I'm not gonna cut myself in a house full of vampires. Not even I am that dumb. I was gonna ask if maybe they had some to spare." You try to get up, but he holds on to you with whatever strength he had left.

"Stay… stay."

"Great." You smile unamused. "As if I didn't feel like your pet enough already." There's barely any space left to sit down since he occupies the entire couch, so you push him to the side a little so you can sit down and put his head on your lap.

"Aw, that's adorable."

"Grace… you…" You feel his shoulders tense like he wants to get up, so you hold him in place.

"It was a joke, Vincent. You used to have a sense of humor." She hands you a towel, and you immediately start drying his face and scrubbing his hair. Luckily his clothes didn't really get wet, just a little damp. "And what happened to you? Why are you like this? Does it have to do with that misunderstanding you mentioned?"

"...Bit rough… for a joke." He points at you with his thumb, but you have no idea what he means. "Arm."

"What? Oh." Only now do you see the clear handprint on your arm. Grace's nails aren't long enough to be claws like his, but they left an indent too. "It's okay, it doesn't hurt or anything."

"Says the… m-maso-"

"Shhhh, go to sleep!" He can barely speak and he mocks you. You laugh nervously. "You big baby! Tomorrow you'll be brand new." You're still laughing, but you know by Grace's raised eyebrow that she has made you. "Um, any… anyway, after some… things that happened, he gets a little bit tired every now and then. We're looking into it. But I'd really prefer if you could wait for him to wake up so he'll tell you all about it, I'm not very good with explanations." You hope you were vague enough not to give anything away, because you have no idea what he's going to tell them. "Can I smoke in here?"

"Sure." You fish the pack from your pocket and she hands you the ashtray. "Some human pleasures never leave us." She lights it for you with her own lighter. "Sorry about your arm."

"It's okay, really. I'm used to doing worse."

"...So you're just feeding this parasite out of your own free will? What do you get out of it?"

"I, um… well…" You weren't lying when you said you weren't good with explanations.

"It's alright, I get it. Your face says it all. He… are you asleep, Vincent?" No response. His breathing deep and slow. "He's terrible, and it took me a long time to forgive him. Him and Paul, of course. But I get it." Her tone gets a little jaded, but not fully. "When you're young and in love, it's like they've hung the moon and the stars."

You choke a little on the smoke. "In love? With him? Me? Ah, no, no, no, I, I just follow him around because I want him to bite me, that's all! I'm not in-" She looks at your hand, which has been ruffling his hair in the gentlest manner and you hadn't even noticed, and you freeze. "I was just… his hair is gonna look ridiculous when it dries and we're gonna make fun of him. Yeah." He turns in his sleep, pressing his face against your stomach and grabbing your shirt. Your heart goes ballistic, and you wheeze a little.

"You're swooning."

"I'm… sighing. He's too heavy and my legs are falling asleep."

Grace's smile tells you she didn't buy any of it. "My mistake, then. And besides, there's no point in holding grudges when you're eternal. Supposedly. Y'know, other than the own perils we go through being the way we are."

"Do you like it? Being a vampire?" You're so glad for the opportunity to change the subject.

"I hated it at first. Couldn't go to the beach, I miss the beach. Couldn't eat my favorite meals. Couldn't see my family anymore." She raises her eyebrows at you.

"I'm sorry. But me, I'm… there's no one anymore. I don't have anyone who will miss me."

She smiles. "Not a very smart thing to say in a house full of bloodthirsty monsters."

"I've known monsters. You're not one."

It takes her a moment to continue. "Are you sure? The whole blood thing was so difficult to get used to. And learning how to stop before you kill someone. I can't tell you there haven't been casualties." Her words do nothing to change your opinion. But you do wonder if you're the only one here who's never killed anyone. Has the cat guy…? "But now, honestly, I revel in it. There's so much freedom to do whatever you want. Go wherever you want. Well, other than consecrated ground, of course. Which did make some of my life harder, since some of my spells do use holy water."

"Spells, oh, like you mentioned you did with the house? So you're a…"

"A vampire witch." Her voice is full of pride.

"Cool!" You almost ask her if she knows anything about silver, but it would probably give too much away. And you want to tell her about your own little dabbles in magic, but feel it's better not to. At least not until you're sure you can trust her. "So you could have put a hex on him!"

"Who says I didn't? Probably left him with a bad indigestion at least for a few weeks."

"How long… uh, how long have you and Paul been together?"

She lights a cigarette. "Do you mean how long since this trash dumped me for him, then kicked him out too, and I was the bigger person and decided to give him a chance? Oh, about ten years and five months, give or take."

"Ten… ten years? Holy shit, then he must have left a trail of broken hearts all over the world!" You thought this was a recent situation, but it's clear this playboy has been playing for a long time. 

"You're lucky vampires can't impregnate or get pregnant, or he would have left a trail of bastards too."

You can feel your face burning, so you look away, hoping for anything that will allow you to change the subject again. Tony saves you by sitting down beside Grace, holding a bag with a straw.

"Capri Sun?" He offers the bag, then laughs dismissively. "Nah, just kidding, it's blood."

"That's right, you! You can… you can change! Can you all change?"

"Nah, I'm special." He slurps noisily on his plasma juice.

"Tony's the only one I know that has that ability. And it's not just a cat he can turn into, you know."

"Babe, come to bed, I'm cold." Paul does look like the kind of guy who would call his partner 'babe'.

"And with that, I'm off." Grace stands up, patting Tony on the shoulder. "But not before this. Raise your legs." You do so, and she crouches in front of the couch, raises it with one hand a little while messing with something outside your field of vision. The couch shakes a little and stretches. It's a pull-out. She waves and leaves.

You stretch your legs a little, trying to get Vincent to move too, but it's like moving a rock. Tony's watching you with a smirk, which you return to him. "So, you're from the heartbreak club too?"

He laughs. "Me? Oh, no, no. Me and Paul used to work together and one day he introduced us, and I just thought it'd be pretty cool to be a vampire. So I asked and he bit me."

"You… and how long it took him?"

"Hmm I think it took a while. I had to pester him all night until he did it."

You can't believe your ears. "Night? It took you one night? You just… asked and he did it?"

"Yeah. Why?"

You feel like punching something. "No reason." Just as you're about to ask him about his ability, he stands up abruptly.

"Um… you know what, I think I'm gonna finish this in bed." He leaves quickly, not giving you a chance to get a word in. Did Vincent do something?

"Listen, mister. If you're using your powers again, I'm dragging your casanova ass back to the rain."

"Hmm…" He releases your shirt and stretches beside you.

"Are you really asleep?" No response. So you sigh and reach for the lamp on the coffee table, clicking it off.

Even in this state, the couch is still smaller than the hotel bed, so you're much closer now. Even in the faint light coming from elsewhere in the house, you swear you can see freckles on his nose and trace them with a finger, then his sinfully beautiful lips.

You're not in love. You want him, sure. For a long time now, and this desire grows with every passing day. 

But it's going to break you when he leaves you like he did with the others. Whether you got him to bite you or not, you know you won't be strong enough.

So you tell your heart to shut the hell up because you're not in love.

*

The tinted windows don't let any light pass through them, but you can tell it's morning from the birds. You yawn and stretch, and then something else makes you startlingly aware that it is, indeed, morning. Right against your hips.

Any trace of sleep has left your system. Someone threw a blanket over you two while you slept, and you push it away, too hot for it now.

"Hmm…" He pulls you towards him, and in a second, you're in full contact with him. Then he starts to move.

"He… hey…" As much as your entire body is burning for him, you don't want to let him do something like this in his sleep.

"Yes?" Oh, he's awake. So it's fine then.

"I, uh, see that you're feeling better."

He hums, hand in your hair to pull you to his lips, and it's so much better than the last time. The time you were dying. Now you have the wherewithal to give just as much as you're getting, sucking his breath into your lungs and biting his lips whenever there's a break in the kiss.

Your hand moves without your permission, popping a button, then his fly.

"Wait." He holds your wrist, and your face burns even hotter than before.

You pull your hand from him in a flash. "I'm so sorry! I-"

He kisses your chin. "Wait. Let me drink. They're well fed, they won't mind even if they wake up."

"I… the knife's in my boot." He shakes his head.

"Do you trust me?"

The rational part of your brain tells you you should say no. But your instinct says otherwise. "Yeah."

"Take it off."

"Wha…?"

"The pendant."

You do so quickly, pulling it over your head and storing it safely in your pocket. Either it's bright enough out now or your eyes have grown used to the dark, because you can make out his outline as he raises his claws to your neck, scratching it softly. You feel anything but fear, turning your head to give him more access. You can feel your skin tearing and you sigh wholeheartedly.

Then his mouth is on you, lapping and sucking languidly, as if he were giving you a hickey. Also known as a love bite. You'd laugh if you weren't so stirred up. 

Your head is in a warm, comforting haze; it feels so good to have his mouth there, where you wanted it for so long. Even if it isn't exactly how you wanted it. He takes your hand in his, guiding it, silently asking you to continue from where he interrupted you. You palm him through his pants first, and he sucks a little harder. Your hand goes inside, touching him in earnest, and he stops to sigh against your neck for a moment before continuing. Then his hands are moving, all over you as if he knew exactly how to touch you, every spot that makes you go insane. Your unoccupied hand finds his hair, and you pull a little so he'll look at you.

You can see your blood on his lips, and you bring him down to you, tasting yourself. Bitter, salty, sweet, all blending together, and when your hand speeds up, you swallow his moans too.

When you open your eyes, he's holding your knife to his arm. "Just a couple of drops, or you'll never manage to escape me."

With your breathing still normalizing, your mouth has a hard time catching up with your brain. "I really don't think I want to." You freeze, feeling like you've said too much, wanting to take it back.

"Well, you have to. It's not just your neck." To your luck, he misunderstood you. He clicks the lamp on the coffee table and you see the scratches he's left all over you. "I know you like it, but I imagine you wouldn't want to give them a show."

And while you're sure you'll be wearing on your face how you spent your morning, you really don't want to make it too obvious. So you accept his blood.

It's ironic really, how while all your wounds are closing up, his seems to be the same. "Shit. I'll go grab the first aid, I need to redress the one on your neck too."

Even though the bedrooms seem to all be in the back, you open the door just a little, feeling like a single ray of light getting in would taint their home. It's still pretty cloudy, but you wouldn't want to risk it. You take the first aid kit, a change of clothes for you both and at the last minute, his orange sapling.

When you return, he's under the covers again, and after quickly washing up and changing, you sit beside him to dress his wounds. You try to keep your composure while you clean his neck, but he can tell what you're thinking without even looking at you. "That bad?"

"We need to talk to them today. Even if we have to tell them everything."

"Go find something to eat. They won't wake up before late noon."

"Okay. Get some rest too. Oh, I was thinking." You show him the pot. "If they're okay with it, we could plant it here. It's not going to survive long staying in the car so much. Then if we… if we find some other place, we can take it there. I mean, if you want to."

He smiles, sweeter than you've ever seen. "Sure. We'll do it tonight."

You stand up to leave, but stop suddenly worried. "And Grace… are you sure she…"

"If she hasn't killed me by now, she won't."

You're still a little uneasy, but he does know her better than you. "Alright, be back soon. Here." You leave his clothes on the sofa and he nods. When you're at the door, he calls you back.

"There is something I forgot." The seriousness of his voice makes you worried all over again. "Come here." You stand beside him, but he shakes his head. "Closer."

"What? What is it?" You sit down next to him, hoping he won't tell you he just remembered silver infections only last a few days and then the afflicted dies or something like that.

But he just lays a hand on the back of your neck and pulls you into a kiss. "This." He smiles. "You can go now."

That's… that's not fair at all. You're out of your element. You're fighting a losing match. How can you lie to yourself when he gets you so worked up with such a simple gesture, with a chaste kiss. "You're… you're infuriating." Face on fire, you stumble on your own feet before you leave.

*

The town is small and quiet, but there's a diner that catches your attention because of the tall booths you can see from outside. It's been ages since you'd stop caring about what other people think of you, but you don't know this place, so it's better not to draw too much attention.

Half the patrons inside eye you up and down as you enter, but return to their meals after a moment. You grab a menu and choose the booth furthest in the back.

The pie is big and hot, and biting into it, you just can't help remembering this morning. His touches, his smell, his taste, his noises… 

You're so not in love with him.

Just as you're deciding what to take for dinner so you won't have to return here, someone sits across from you. A pale man with blonde hair. His eyes a light red, almost orange. Your hand instinctively goes to your neck, and you try not to have a panic attack when you realize the pendant isn't there. You took it off and put it… where? Oh no, is it back at the house? No, it's in your pocket. In the pants you changed this morning. In the trunk of your car.

"I can tell you're not from around here. What's a little thing like you doing in a town like this?"

Thing. You hate being called a thing. But you smile sweetly at him "Just visiting some friends."

"Oh yeah? Wanna make some new friends?"

"I… I don't know, they're waiting for me and I'm supposed to bring them some stuff. For lunch." You start to get up, but he grabs your hand.

"Nah, stay with me. They can wait."

You sit back down, feeling a little drowsy just like last night. But it's different, his persuasion or whatever it is doesn't seem to be nearly as strong as that controlling power Vincent has over you, or his own persuasion. While the people you've seen affected by it seemed to be in a zombie-like state, you remain pretty aware.

"Don't make a scene, no one's gonna care. They know not to mess with me. I want you. And what I want, I get."

You look around and it seems like everyone is making a point to not look in your direction. "Oh wow, that's a little fast, isn't it? We don't even know each other."

"Easy to fix. I'm Noz, and what is your name, little thing?"

You'll stick a fork in your eye before you tell this guy your name. "Ebony Dark'ness Dementia Raven Way."

"Awesome name!" From the shit-eating grin on his face, he really seems to like it. "See? Now we know each other, let's go." He stands up, pulling you along, glancing at a man sitting on the next booth. "Pay it for me, will ya?"

What is he going to do, just walk outside in the middle of the day? Will he burst into flames? You hope so. But once out, he seems just fine, and you wonder if it has to do with the weather. The clouds are so heavy you don't even know where the sun is in the sky. "Um, where are we going?"

"I live right around the corner. I'm gonna give you an experience like you've never had."

"We could take my car, I just have to get something in the-"

"No need, it's right over there." He starts pulling you away from where you parked.

You need to find a way to get to your car, but nothing comes to mind. "Um… what kind of experience are we talking about here? 'Cause let me tell ya, I've been through a lot. I could show you pictures on my camera, and-"

He stops suddenly, pushing you against the wall of the diner. "If you're so eager to know, here." He shows you his fangs, running his tongue over them.

They're minuscule compared to Vincent's.

"You're… you're a vampire? Wow! That's awesome! I… I… I've always wanted to meet one! Could you-"

Then he's all over your personal space, sniffing you. You try not to cringe. "You can cut the act, sweetheart. I can smell it all over you. Especially…" He sniffs long and hard around your neck and you close your eyes, holding in a whimper of disgust. "Here. So what's the story, morning glory?"

"I…" Thinking on your feet, you cover your face with both hands, pretending to cry. "He's holding my son hostage! And keeping me as his personal supply of food! Look!" You show him your arm, littered with scars. "I can't take it anymore, and I don't know what to do! I'm sorry I lied to you, but if he finds out I talked to another vampire, he's going to kill you. He's too powerful."

"Oh, I doubt he's got anything on me, baby. I've been like this for years. Experience counts in matters like these." Years, not decades. Okay.

"Really? Because he said he turned about two months ago. So you're probably right, you must be much more powerful than him. Maybe… no, I couldn't ask."

"I'll destroy him with one hand."

"You promise?"

"Yup."

You brace yourself for the sell. "Thank you! Thank you so much!" You wrap your arms around his neck in a hug. Now you're going to have to shower again. "Can you turn me too? I've always wanted to be like you."

"Well, I don't think you can be like me, but yeah, yeah sure. I'll turn you." You can tell from the way he speaks he doesn't really have the power to do so.

"Great! I'll take you to him." And just in case he doesn't buy it, you add in the most seductive voice you can muster: "And then we can have all kinds of experiences afterwards."

"Hmm yeah, baby. It's your lucky day, you better show your appreciation." 

As you turn to thankfully go back to your car, he slaps you, and you take a deep, deep breath before you turn back and wink at him. "C'mon, tiger." Oh shit, you hope you haven't ruined it.

"Rawr!" Ew, nope, you didn't.

He sits beside you, and while you could take him to the house, you don't know just how capable any of them are in a fight, and they're most likely still asleep. Vincent could definitely take care of him. If he weren't... unwell, as he put it. Besides, you've gone too far now to give up. You turn the key, but the car doesn't start. You try two more times. "Shit, not again. Stay here, I'll get a jumper cable in the back. Do you think someone at the diner will help me?"

"If they don't, I just have to tell them to."

Vincent would only have to look at them.

You get out of the car and close your eyes, silently praying to whatever dark deities might be around. The pendant is peeking from the pocket of your pants, almost falling into the mess that is your trunk, so you quickly grab it before it does.

"What's that you got there?" You scream in surprise at the sudden hand on your shoulder and press the pendant to it. "Ow! What the fuck?" Before he can move, you do it again, wishing you could cut him with it, but it doesn't have any sharp edges. But your knife does. "You fucking freak! You goddamn piece of-" You slash his stomach once, but he dodges it the second time and punches you in the face. You stumble backwards, the knife flying from your hand, and you watch the glinting blade with longing as he gets near.

Glinting?

The sun burns your eyes. It's just as sudden as Vincent said. 'Noz' or whatever his name is, doesn't even have time to scream and he's gone, dust and ashes already scattering in the light breeze.

You were never a big fan of the sun, but today you'd kiss it if you could.

With trembling hands, you put the pendant around your neck again, just about to reach for a cigarette when you notice everyone that was at the diner is now watching you from the sidewalk. "Uh, you guys serve steak?"

*

No one laughed at your attempted joke, but at least you got a couple of free meals out of it.

You turn on the radio but can't remember how the player works. Then you hit the brakes and throw up on the side of the road.

Did you just kill someone? Now… now what? No one seemed to make a fuss, no one called the police. Although it would be hard to convict you without evidence of an actual crime, other than the witnesses. Is that how it went with vampires? No laws, no punishment, no justice? Not that you want to go to jail for that garbage. But… it's the same the other way around, isn't it? They kill too, and no one bats (haha) an eye at it. Well, you highly doubt they're ever mentioned in any law book so that's the only way it can be.

You grab a bottle of water to wash your mouth and start the car again, the right way this time. Even though you're done with adventures for the day, you don't want to get back too soon while everyone is still asleep, so you drive around, trying to find something to do. There's a tiny movie theater, and you buy a ticket for the next session, barely paying attention to what the movie's about and sleep through almost the entire thing. When you leave, the sun's hidden again, and it's considerably darker. Almost 5 p.m., your phone tells you. Time to go back.

Your three new acquaintances are playing cards on a table, while Vincent still rests. "I thought you guys would be playing baseball or something."

Vincent sees your face and is beside you before you take two steps in. "What happened?" He takes your face in his hands, clinically examining the bruises that have already formed around your eye.

"You should see the other guy. Oh no, you can't, because he's pixie dust now. What are you guys playing anyway? Guess I should put some ice in this, huh?" You let him pull you to the couch, and Tony hands you a frozen bloodbag.

"Sorry, it's all we have."

You thank him and hold it against your eye, trying to sum up the events as best as you can while ignoring the tears flowing down your face.

"I know that guy. Well, knew." Paul winks at you. "Real douchebag. You did good." He frowns. "What kind of stupid name is 'Noz' anyway?"

Grace chimes in. "Besides, if you're worried about it, you did not kill him, he did so himself. Any vampire worth their salt wouldn't be scurrying around outside during the day, cloudy weather or not." She raises her eyebrows haughtily. "He was asking for it."

Their words do put you more at ease, but Vincent's face is dark. "I should have. I should have turned you." He shakes his head. "You wouldn't make it."

"...How do you know?"

"Because you're just like him!" Vincent's usually smooth voice now marred with despair. "Haven't I told you? He was weak, and so are you!" He gets up to stand by the window.

"But he did make it! And I think I just proved I'm strong enough, didn't I?" You want to be angry at him, but the fact he doesn't want to do it because he's worried about you allays you a little. Then something dawns on you. "You said… you said you fed him all night. Your blood, right? Which is why he made it." He nods. "So that means… if you bit me now…" You look at the bandage on his arm, then at his face.

"I told them everything."

He's the one who's too weak. If he thinks you'll need him to look after you and feed you his own blood, right now is not exactly the best time to do it. "Did you know? Even before the hotel? You knew there was something wrong, didn't you?"

"I had an inkling, when my neck wouldn't stop broiling."

You follow him to the window, hitting his chest with your fists. You imagine this whole scene must probably look like a soap opera to the others. "You idiot. Why didn't you tell me? Why did you do the thing with the clerk?" You hear Grace whispering, "Ooh, thing with the clerk?"

He wraps his arms around you, and you already know you're going to start crying again any minute now. "I didn't know. I didn't know what would happen."

"If I… if I hadn't almost killed myself, none of this would be happening. This is all my fault!"

"I heard you scream. If it hadn't been for you, we'd both be dead." He wipes your tears with his fingers. "Come on." He brings you back to the couch and hands you the frozen bloodbag. "I could give you more blood to heal this quickly, but I have the feeling you would say no."

You take the bag and press it against your face again. "You're damn right I would say no."

"You could take mine. Or any of ours, I don't think any of us would mind," Grace offers.

Vincent intervenes before you can reply. "That is out of the question. After last night, I don't know if I'm very fond of your… jokes. Best not risk it."

You elbow him. "It's okay, guys, thanks. Not my first black eye. More importantly. Do you know anything? That can help us?"

Grace shakes her head. "We told him already. The only contact any of us had with silver after turning was that I was wearing a silver ring, and it almost burned my finger off. But it healed after I took it off. I'm sorry."

"I gave him a suggestion, but…"

"Paul…" Vincent's voice is low and menacing.

Paul shrugs. "It's all I got."

"What? What is it?" No matter what it is, you have to try.

"Nothing worth trying. At least nothing I would-"

"Please!" You grab his shirt with both hands, your voice filled with desperation. "Please. I'm begging you. Anything is worth it."

"...He suggested I go to Sebastian," he says with an unamused smile. "Apparently, he's been studying all kinds of things about… us. Guess he really wants to be the expert in vampire lore."

You shake your head, not believing what you're hearing. "Then what are we still doing here? Let's go!"

He backs away from your hands, still strangely leering at you. "Do you seriously want so bad to be turned that you'd ask me to subject myself to him?"

It's like the world vanishes around you and a black hole starts forming in your chest. You can faintly hear Grace yelling at him, but can't make out her words, can't make out anything. "I'm… going for a walk. Thanks for the ice, Tony." You drop the bag on the couch and leave, ignoring everyone.

No amount of cigarettes can make you stop shaking, so you drive to a nearby convenience store and buy a fifth of whiskey, something you haven't abused in years. But you don't care. You just want to black out. You can't think. Don't think. Don't think, just drink.

*

"Ugh. Wha…?" There's a crowd of people hitting your head with tiny hammers. Over and over. You can't see them, but you can feel them there. And apparently they made you drink out of a toilet, because that's what your mouth tastes like. Why is it dark? Is it still night? You can't see anything out the windshield. But you can smell smoke and vomit. "Bleh, I need a toothbrush."

"And a bath."

You scream, searching for your knife. Vincent turns on the dome light, and you point the knife at him. "What are you doing here? Where am I?"

"Crashed against a tree. I found you last night. You've been gone for two days." Your watch confirms he's telling the truth about the date.

It also tells you it's half past noon. And judging by the heat, pretty sunny outside.

All the window covers and blinds you haven't had the need to use before are in place, and the one on your side is dangerously flapping thanks to a small opening on the window, which he probably did so you wouldn't suffocate. Or because of the smell. You close it quickly and fix the cover back in place.

"I'm grateful you still care for my life."

"Vincent…" You sigh. "Is there any water in the back?"

He shakes his head. "I looked for it to see if I could clean you up."

You look down at yourself and almost throw up again. "Oh, gross." You unceremoniously strip as carefully as you can, staying in your underwear, and ball the soiled clothes, pushing them as far in the back as you can. "Since when… you said you found me last night?"

"Earlier today just before dawn, to be exact. I'd have taken you back but we're too far away, there wouldn't have been time."

"Where are we?"

He shrugs. "Somewhat far into the woods. You swerved off the road and came rolling down the hill for a good while before this big, beautiful oak tree interrupted you."

"Does it look bad?"

"Your shoe box is done for." The above light goes out as he says it, as if signaling the fate of the car, and you remain in the dark. 

"Great." Now that you're properly awake, you notice it isn't actually that dark, you can see his shape quite well as he stares ahead.

The silence isn't uncomfortable, just irritating. Isn't he going to say anything? Does he still stand by that bullshit he spewed last… two nights ago? Are you the one who's going to have to bring it up?

"So…"

"We're going. To see Sebastian. If we don't die of sunstroke first."

You take a deep breath. "That was not why I said it and you know it."

For a few minutes, he doesn't say anything, and if you're not going to discuss it, you might as well try to fall asleep again.

"Do you love me?" Well, that plan is out the window now.

"Wha-what? You… you… you don't just ask people that!"

"Why not? I love you."

To say this is not exactly the type of situation you thought you'd be in if you ever got to hear him saying that is an understatement. Your jaw starts tingling when you try to speak, probably because you've been taking so many deep breaths, you think you're hyperventilating. After a moment, you try again. "You'll have to forgive me if I say I don't believe you."

He's still looking straight ahead, but you can see he's frowning. "Why? Because I've had other lovers? Haven't you?"

"Well, yeah, but… you seem to get tired of them pretty quickly." What did he say? The heart is fickle?

"So… how long is love supposed to last?"

You can't believe him. "Forever, Vincent. Love is supposed to last forever." He seems so childish at first, but then you remember who was it that taught him about love. And how big of a lie it was. "Listen, can we talk about this later? My throat is dry and my head is killing me." When he doesn't answer, you get a little annoyed. "Hey."

He doesn't just look at you. His eyes devour you from head to toe and he's breathing hard, panting. And you can only imagine the state you're in. Without even mentioning the smell, your hair is probably a nightmare, your makeup making you look like a mime from hell. And don't forget the black eye. But he looks at you as if you were a centerfold.

"...Can I have your shirt?" He unbuttons it and gives it to you without a word. He's so tall that it goes to your knees. His naked torso does put you in some state also, but nothing like he was. Still is, judging by what you can clearly see under his pants.

Even if he doesn't love you, his desire seems to be big enough to confuse his head. You're not sure you can sleep after such a revelation.

When you wake up, you're not in the car anymore, and you're… bouncing? "Um… hi?"

"Good evening." He's carrying you bridal style, and you can only imagine the scene. You, only in an oversized shirt and shoes in the arms of a pale, shirtless man.

"You can put me down."

"Alright. You smell, and you're heavier than you look."

You snort loud, once again in total disbelief of this person. "This is the first time I hear you joking."

"Who said I'm joking?" He does put you down, and you walk beside him, still laughing and without any idea where you are.

You look back. "What about the car?" You can still see it in the distance, not that far into the tree, just enough to have ruined the engine. You're lucky not to have a single scratch.

"I've locked it. We can go back for whatever's inside later." He takes a deep breath. "Listen. I get... irrational when it comes to Sebastian. We never got along, not even when we were kids. Which is why I've kept my distance from him. And our incompatibility only made us drift further and further apart from each other with ever year. Every decade. Before that night he showed up at my house, I hadn't seen him in well over fifteen years."

"But..."

"But... we're still going. I... I won't let him cloud my judgement like that again."

You suppose that's as close of an apology you'll get, and you're fine with it, you'd honestly didn't even think he'd say as much.

After that, you walk mostly in silence in the cold evening, and when he sees you shivering, he offers to pick you up again. Since when was he this chivalrous? But you refuse his offer, on the account of you being too heavy and all. He just laughs, and you have no idea what's going on.

*

Grace can't stop pointing from him to you. "Okay, you're gonna have to tell us this story."

You sigh. "Please. I need water. And toothpaste. And… and clothes and a bath. Please."

"Of course, I'm sorry." You let her help you out, devoid of energy to do much more than just sit in the bathtub and let it wash this entire day away. The pastel purple shirt with a Count Dracula holding a book and the words, 'My favorite thing to sink my teeth into' makes you smile. Something tells you it's Tony's, and when Vincent sees you wearing something that's such a contrast to everything he's seen you wearing so far, he even does a double take. 

Later in the night, you and Grace plant Vincent's orange tree in her own little orchard, and when you tell her where it came from, the look in her eyes tells you that you really can, in fact, trust her.

"Listen, if you ever need- if one of you-" Vincent casually calls you, using what he calls blood control.

He whispers in your ear. "It's best if you don't." He doesn't use the control as he says this, making it only a suggestion.

"How did you know-"

His hand on your face is so gentle you don't mind the interruption. "You're kind. You're too kind for the likes of people like us. Keep it to yourself. If they ever need it, I'll know. I just told them the same story I gave Sebastian. I never told them I died."

"...Fine."

"I don't like it, for the record. Using that on you. It will pass, but it is a vile power."

You had no idea he felt that way. "I'll try not to… make you have to use it." You close your eyes and lie your head on his chest. "You're not… the worst person ever."

His chest rumbles in quiet laugh, and he starts speaking, but Grace interrupts.

"Oh? Have we really kissed and made up then? Are you unconditionally and irrevocably-"

"Don't. Please don't." That's a trainwreck you're only too happy to derail.

A bat flies around a little in front of you, and then Tony's there again. "Found him." He grabs a robe that's hanging from the wall and slides into it. "He has places all over Romania, but he's staying in some secluded castle for the moment, middle of nowhere. I'll write down the directions for you." He eyes you up and down and says with a wink: "Nice shirt!"

"...You're a bat too? What else? Can you turn into like, a frog? A goat? A dragon?"

He just shakes a finger at you. "Secrets of the trade, my dear. Need to know only."

"And by him, do you mean Sebastian? You were looking for him? Why don't you guys use cell phones?"

"Well, after our friend Vincent here deeply regretted his harsh words-" Vincent slaps him over the head. "Ow. I set out to find him. And Sebastian is a hard man to find, don't think he just gives away his number to mere mor-, uh, immortals."

"Well, you know what they say." Paul's voice surprises you, because you had no idea he was home.

Grace smiles, rolling her eyes. "What, Paul? What do they say?"

"A mere mortal… shuffles not their own coil."

You have no idea who says that, and what it means.

"Did you get it? Is it like I asked?" Vincent sounds almost… giddy.

"See for yourself." Paul hands him a set of keys and Vincent all but drags you to the front yard.

The monstrosity is at least twice as big as your car, and it looks like something a government agent would drive. All windows are tinted, including the windshield. 

"V8, baby. Carbon body, alloy wheels, 2% ceramic tint. Should let you drive during the day no problem. I'm almost getting one for myself."

"It's perfect." Vincent looks at you. "This is a car." You had no idea he was this enthusiastic about cars.

"No, this is a fucking boat! Do you even drive? Because I don't know if I can handle something this big." A very, very intrusive thought crosses your mind, and from the way both Grace and Paul are looking into nothing, scratching their heads and clearing their throats, you can tell it crossed theirs too. Only Tony smiles innocently, looking a little lost. 

Vincent shrugs. "I've crashed a few vehicles here and there. Broke my arm once."

Resignedly, you take the keys from his hands. "At least I have the excuse that I was drunk."

"Wait. You guys can't go now!" Grace takes the keys from your hands and gives them back to Vincent. "I need to do a protection spell on you. On you both, actually. You do know where you're going, right?"

Tony raises a finger in the air, as if he just had a great idea. "You guys should take us to be your muscle, the car is big enough. C'mon, it would be like an adventure. Like, y'know like Lord of the… of the Flies!"

You frown at him. "...Not where I thought you were going with that."

Vincent glares at Grace. "Well, can't you do it now?"

"No, I have to gather the ingredients. Now come on, you can leave at tomorrow's sunset."

*

"Is your charisma natural or part of your abilities?" You're so far on the edge of the couch that you're almost falling.

"How do you mean?"

"Well… Grace said you left her for dead. And now she's in the backyard picking up stuff to make you a protection spell. So, y'know, I was just wondering."

"I didn't 'leave her for dead', she had plenty of time to run back inside before dawn, and she did. It was a long time ago, and we are very resilient."

"Hm. What about Paul?"

He sighs. "Paul knew it was just a fling, I doubt he's ever held any grudges. Are you scared of me?"

He catches you by surprise with the abrupt change of subject. "What? No."

"Then why are you so far away?"

"Listen." You get infinitesimally closer. "I don't know if this will be bad for your ego, but there has never been any moment since I met you that I was ever afraid of you." You lower your voice to a whisper. "But Grace is right outside, and since it's almost dawn, she'll come back at any moment, and I don't want her walking in on… anything. We are in the middle of their living room. And judging from the noise, Paul and Tony are still up and playing video games. So keep your pointy claws to yourself tonight."

"...Fine." He turns away and moves to the other edge of the couch.

He's sulking. Vincent, the master vampire, heart-breaker extraordinaire, is sulking.

"I mean, it's not like I don't want to touch you, but…"

"No, I understand. Good night."

He is not going to guilt trip you. He won't. You know this is what he's doing, so it's not going to work.

…

Sighing in disappointment at your own weakness, you get closer to him. "You're such an asshole." You pull on his arm so he'll turn towards you.

"What? I'm respecting your wishes."

"Yeah, you can cut it out now. The whole manipulation thing does not look good on you."

He smiles, running a hand over your face and neck. "I was so wrong about you. Unremarkable? You're anything but. You're clever. Astute. And you have your own strengths too."

"Yeah, well…" You pull on his arm until he's halfway on top of you. "You're clearly not one of them." You kiss him softly, the knowledge that neither of you will want to stop if it goes too far sending a most definitely welcoming shiver down your spine.

The back door opens. "I'm not looking. I'm not looking. Carry on, kids." Grace traverses the room quickly, holding a basket by her side, while Vincent rests his head on your chest. He smiles at you after she leaves.

"You were clearly right. We might as well sleep, it's a long drive."

Now you're the one who wants to sulk, but you know you really should sleep. But you don't let him get back to his side, instead keeping his head on your chest, fondling his hair until his breathing turns deep and slow.

*

"This will make you immune to anyone trying to control you, unless you look them in the eye. Lasts ten days." Grace rubs something on your forehead and has you drink from a crystal glass, and it tastes surprisingly good. You were wondering what you were going to do if a vampire simply used their powers to order you to take off the pendant. "And Vincent," she rubs it on his cheeks and hands. "This will allow you to use some persuasion without draining your own energy, but only on humans. It will also give you an aura of power, making it seem to anyone you're at least thrice as strong." He drinks it too, and something about the word 'aura' makes you smile, although you're not quite sure why. "Lasts five days. It's all I can do for you."

"Thanks Grace, for everything." You hug her tight, then Paul and Tony.

As you start the car, you glance at Vincent, who looks particularly content with the amount of space he'll have to stretch as much as he wants to. "Guess you can't deny that you do, in fact, have friends now."

He sighs, but the corners of his mouth do turn up. "And just like that, the air of mystery, solitude and superiority I've been cultivating for decades is shot to hell. My reputation has taken quite a plunge."

You smile too. "Aw, I'm happy for you!"

The new car is surprisingly smooth on the road, the seats plush and absurdly comfortable. But it will take you a while to admit out loud that it is much better than your old one. You do stop by the crash site to transfer the contents of the trunk and everything else you need.

"So, we just abandon it?"

Vincent shrugs. "It's so far into the woods no one's going to find it. Not in a town this small. Just let nature claim it."

You nod and pat the trunk. "See ya, old girl."

3

You were weary about driving during the day, but Vincent assured you it would be okay, it's specifically why he asked for such dark window tint. But you still stick to mostly driving at night, there's less traffic, and you really don't want to hazard him being wrong.

You try to pay for the room this time, but he decides to test Grace's spell before you can stop him, and you almost slap him. But it goes well, and as the clerk starts to wake up from his haze, he can't keep his eyes off of Vincent, shaking a bit as he hands you the key. It makes you grin when you imagine what kind of vision the man is seeing in his head as he looks at him. A boxer? A bodybuilder? Or he just sees him the way he is and inanely ponders about how that tall, yet slender man is the most powerful creature he's ever seen? 

While you shower, you think about your decision and wonder what he'll think of it. But when you come out and he's in bed already, shirt hanging on a chair, you almost go back on it. "I have a request." You lie down beside him. "Can we wait? Until you're better? Because I wanted it to be just like that morning, but I can't just walk around all bruised and scratched up. Sure, they'll look at me funny, but that part I'm used to. But everyone's gonna think I'm dating some abusive asshole, and I can't have that." The moment you realize you just said, 'dating', you choke on nothing, already thinking on what to say to fix it.

But he just pulls on your arm so you'll wrap it around his waist and runs the back of his fingers over your face. "I was barely awake that morning. You have seen nothing yet." And with that promise and all its implications on your mind, this time it does take you a long time to fall asleep.

*

Twice you are stopped, because of the non-regulation tint, you imagine, and both times Vincent just glances at the officer and he lets you go. It is a very helpful spell, especially since you were not looking forward to those tickets.

You grab the map Tony made you, trying to make sense of it.

"What does it say?"

You study it a little. There's a drawing of what looks like a castle over a hill, surrounded by trees and a nearby lake. "It's kind of like this place, but there's no lake here. I think it's on the other side."

He sighs. "Why couldn't he have used an actual map?"

"Well, he said it actually wasn't on the map. It's not any of the famous ones, which I think are just museums now, for tourists?" You watch the landscape dreamily. "Do you think we could visit Bucharest afterwards? I've always wanted to."

Vincent watches the castle you just passed. "Sure. But these… I just don't see the appeal, living in a place this big when all I need is a bed. Sebastian was always… excessive."

"Go ahead and call him extra. But um, I guess it does look kinda cool? And it has a nice view."

He glances at you. "Is it where you want to live?"

"Oh, no, no. I also think it's too big. A place like your house would work just fine for me. Even that I think it's too much, actually."

He takes the map, turning it one side then the other. "Turn here."

"Into… the forest?"

"Supposedly there's a path up ahead." It's late afternoon, so it's still bright enough that you're not afraid of getting lost, so you follow his instructions. "Where did you live?"

"I, uh…" You thought you wouldn't have to talk about it. "Just a small place, bed and a toilet. Couldn't afford much."

"Mobile home?" You nod quickly, shame creeping up your face. "I can only imagine how clean and tidy it was, after all you did for my house. Too bad it was all for nothing."

"It wasn't. Even if it was just for a short while, at least you got to see it kind of like what it used to look like."

You drive in silence for a while, and just as you're about to ask him for directions, he touches your hand softly. "Thank you." His voice just as soft.

You'd admit it, all your feelings for him if he asked again right now.

"You're welcome."

"Look." He points at a lake in the distance and a white structure atop of a hill that you can only imagine is your destination.

The moment you start approaching the castle, it's like the atmosphere changes, becomes more oppressive, and you feel like you're going straight to the final boss in an RPG, but your character is level 1. "Any last minute advice?"

"Sure, turn around and go back to Grace's. I'll call you when we're done."

You raise your eyebrows at him. "Oh, you're being funny again. That's nice."

He sighs. "I could order you to. But you know I won't."

"I wouldn't forgive you if you did."

"Just… don't go anywhere alone with him. Don't tell him you're a necromancer. I am not kidding or exaggerating when I say he is dangerous. He was fine at first, but something changed after he moved here. Bad company, I imagine. And… there's something else too." He looks away, seemingly unwilling to continue, but you wait patiently. "I lied to you. She wasn't the one who turned him. I did. She… wanted to test to see if I had the ability, and told me to choose between him and Christopher. Of course I chose him. I thought I was protecting Christopher, but in the end it was all in vain."

"But… she made you do it, it's not like it was your fault."

"Well, he holds a grudge regardless. And do you know the reason? He can't turn others, and he thinks if she had been the one to bite him, that he would be able to, like me. But that's not how it works. You… you don't know what's going to happen. You don't inherit the traits of your sire, it's all random. Tony's the only person I've turned that can transform. And there was a girl once who could create illusions, I've never seen anything like that afterwards. I imagine it could be related to your personality. Or maybe your physiology. I don't know. I honestly don't know." Just as the sun sets, he takes your face in his hands. "If something happens to me, go back to them. They'll look after you. Even if you don't want to stay with them, they'll help you out."

"But I-"

"Promise me. Promise me this one thing."

"...Okay." He kisses you with such fervor that you moan a little, blushing when you realize you've done so.

"Don't look in his eyes, don't forget." He opens the door and you do the same.

"I won't."

The door to the castle has a knocker, but it also has security cameras. Vincent examines both. He points at the knocker. "Silver. His traps aren't only to keep humans out, it seems." Just as you're about to use it, the door opens.

And it's an actual butler. At least he seems to be, judging by how he's dressed. He makes way for the both of you. "Come in. Right this way, please." He leads you into some brightly lit hallways, then dark ones. You take Vincent's hand for these, weary someone or something might separate you. The butler finally leaves you in a big, round library. "Master will be with you in a moment." With that, he leaves.

There are so many bookshelves that it makes you wonder how anyone would have time to read all that. "I want to laugh but… it seems all humor has left my body."

"If he brings blood in a teacup, I might." You do laugh then, but stop quickly as you hear footsteps approaching. And as much as you want to get this over with as soon as possible, you still kind of hope it's just the butler with the cups of blood.

But it's not the butler. "Ah, my dear brother and the Re-Animator. I called you Renfield, when really you're more of a Herbert, aren't you? To what do I owe the honor of such esteemed guests?"

He… knows?

Before either of you can speak, he continues. "You think you fooled me that night? I know what it's like to feel one of my beloved brothers die. You were gone. For a few minutes you were gone. And then you were back. What conclusion did you want me to draw other than you died and someone brought you back? And I see you two that night, being all friendly and domestic… it wasn't exactly difficult to put two and two together." He crosses his arms. "Who killed you, by the way? It must have been a powerful hunter of beasts."

Vincent sighs. "It was a girl. I was careless."

"Hm. And where's she?"

He shrugs. "Gone."

"And that's where you come in." He turns towards you, and you quickly avert your eyes, looking down. "Did your hocus pocus and… brought him back. Simple as that."

"That's right."

"Interesting. And how does it work?" He gets closer, and your eyes remain on the floor.

"I… well…"

"Aren't you going to ask what we're doing here, Sebastian?" Vincent is suddenly beside you.

"What do you mean? I was thinking you wanted revenge against this girl, who's apparently so powerful you couldn't do it on your own."

"I couldn't care less about her. But I've run into a certain… predicament. I got silver poisoning."

Sebastian huffs. "What? How? The girl?"

You decide to take that one. "No, it was me. He did it to save me." His eyes are on you. You can feel him, trying to peek into your brain, trying to get in. You don't know if he's just trying to get you to tell the whole story or what, but you do so anyway. "I was dying, so he cut himself with my piercing so I could have some of his blood. But it was a silver earring. And it infected his neck."

"His neck? Why-" He thankfully turns his eyes back to Vincent. "Why didn't you cut your arm? That way all you had to do to heal was cut it off and wait for a new one to grow."

"Because… damn you, Sebastian. Get out of my head, you know it doesn't work."

"I was wondering why you were about to lie to me. I didn't pry much that night out of respect, because it was your home. But you're here now, and you're going to tell me everything. You know, out of respect. And by the way, where is all that power coming from? Because I know you're not that strong."

"It's a spell. A witch made me a potion and I drank it." Well, it's not a lie. "And…" he sighs. "I didn't think it would work anyway. The blood transfusion. So I wanted it at least to have an… intimate moment, at the end."

"Aww, you're so soft it's giving me nausea." You can't imagine how embarrassing this might be for him to admit it. But the one who's blushing is you.

Sebastian examines Vincent's neck wound for a while. "Well, then, here's what I propose. Why don't we cut your head off, Vincent, right below the infected gash. That way a new one can grow, and you'll be all fine and dandy again."

You almost choke at the absurdity of his words. "Are you out of your fucking mind? Absolutely not!" You look him in the eyes, then quickly avert your gaze to the floor.

"Why is it that you're so demure? It doesn't go with that mouth of yours. Are you trying to hide that black eye? Did he do this?" You feel him peering into your head again. When you don't say anything else, he grabs your chin so you'll look at him, but you close your eyes at the last moment. "Tell me!"

It lasts only a second, then he's gone. When you open your eyes, Vincent has Sebastian's arm in his grasp, pushing him against a bookshelf and choking him with his other hand. A couple of people rush into the room, security guards apparently, holding what seems to be silver-studded batons, but you could be wrong. Because they're clearly vampires too. Then you notice they're wearing gloves.

"Down, boys. It's just my little brother being a pest. Oh no, wait. I'm the little brother. I'm always forgetting that." He dismisses them with his unrestrained hand, and Vincent lets go of his throat. "Fine. I was kidding about the decapitation. That would obviously kill you. But I do know a way. Follow me." Vincent releases his arm, and you both follow him. More dark hallways and sets of stairs. Down, always down. 

After a while, you reach what seems to be a laboratory, clean and brightly lit. A vampire sits in a corner, smoking, an IV strapped to his arm. His leg on a chain that goes into the ground. You can't help but ask. "Who's that?"

"That's ah, Turner. Hey, Turner."

'Turner' flips him off. He stops next to a table full of creatures in jars, some of which you have never even seen. "Our sire had the right idea. She wanted to train us, to have enough of us so we could assert our dominance in the world."

"That's what you got out of it? Because to me, it seemed all she wanted to do was feed and fuck."

You look at Vincent, flabbergasted, because it's the first time you hear him using such language. Sebastian just smiles at him. "I guess our relationships were different. You were clearly her boytoy. But I was her soldier. And I intend to honor her legacy."

"She killed Christopher!"

Sebastian frowns. "I thought it was the other way around, Vincent."

Vincent actually growls. "If she hadn't bitten him-"

"He would have died. Didn't you know he was sick?"

"...What?" He's so taken aback that he shrinks a little, shoulders hunching and hands closing around his elbows.

"I found some documents. Medical exams and whatnot. Something to do with his lungs. It's a miracle he lasted that long, actually."

"...You told her to bite him." His voice is so muted you wouldn't have heard him if you weren't standing right beside him.

"I have many more guards down here, so keep your cool, I don't know if I can call them all back fast enough. But it was for his own good. She poisoned you too much with her blood, that's why you couldn't see it."

You take Vincent's hand on both of yours and he looks at you, closes his eyes and takes a deep breath. 

"Ours wasn't the only house, you know. She had many others. And I've spoken to some of her other… children."

This time it's Vincent's hand that clutches yours, as if he's trying to hold back from doing something hasty. "Didn't you say you knew a way? To heal the silver infection?"

"We're getting there, we're getting there. Look. All my mad scientists. Dr. Brown, Dr. Doom, Dr. Octavius, Dr. Frankenstein… We've been studying it for a while now." He grabs a jar from a table where all the doctors, which clearly sport name tags with their actual names, are huddled around. 

There is a putrid, rotted hand inside.

"Yeah, that's mine." You immediately look at his arms, but he still has both hands. It's also when you notice he doesn't have claws like Vincent. You wish you had paid attention to Turner's hands. "It got cut off by a silver sword. Then I did that thing I said. I cut the stump further with a regular steel sword, and it grew back, free of poison. That one started necrosing pretty fast, though. How long did you say you cut yourself with the piercing?"

Vincent's still looking at the hand, so you answer him. "About twelve days ago."

"Oh, good, we have time then. That thing took about twenty days to get like that."

"Twenty…" Your hands squeeze Vincent's. "What do we do?"

"It's simple. Didn't you hear me calling all the doctors names? I'm clearly missing one. Dr. West." He looks at you with a smile that is nothing if not nefarious. "So here's the deal. We can't do it. Yet. But… we're close, really close, and with all of you together, I'm sure we can find a cure. And we have a whole week to work on it."

"Okay." You only realize you were staring at him after Vincent pulls your head to his chest. But it's too late. It doesn't make much sense, because you would have accepted anyway. Not that you know what you could possibly bring to the table. You have zero knowledge in anything medical related, or biological… and your head is going numb. You think Vin- who? someone is calling your name, but you can't really say for sure. All you can hear is Sebastian.

*

There's a man strapped to a table. He's really handsome. But pale, too pale. He tries to raise his hand in your direction, but can't due to the straps. And you want to touch him, he makes your heart hurt, and you don't know why. But the voice in your head reminds you that's not what you're supposed to do. You're supposed to collect tissue from his neck, the wound black and festering. It stinks, but you don't care, you just feel so bad for him.

*

You give your own blood too, and you do spells in both creatures and body parts. It doesn't seem to work very well with the body parts, but Franky helps you out with that. He says his name isn't Franky, but that's all you can call him.

*

The pale man is even paler now, and the wound on his neck looks much worse. You think you're crying, but you keep moving towards him, until someone grabs both your arms, and it's only after some struggle that they get you to open your hand, and the scalpel drops to the floor.

*

You're strapped to a table.

*

The black hand moves.

*

The man is gone from the table, but there's a black stain around the area where his neck used to be.

* 

You cry, and more Latin spews from your lips.

*

He's watching you. Watching you sleep. You know that. You know if you open your eyes, you'll see him, and everything will be okay. But you can't open them, it's like they're stitched together. Your mouth feels the same way. But your hands are free. You try to pry them open, but nothing works. Then you reach for your neck and feel something there. It's round. A pendant? 

The owl. The owl and the moon. 

You open your eyes, but there's no one there.

*

You're on a hill, there's a fight going on down there, it seems to be a man and a woman, but you're too far away to tell. Then you realize you've been following him, because you want something from him. You didn't feel anything for him then. You just wanted the one thing. But now you do, and when the girl impales him with the stake, you feel it in your own heart.

"Vincent!"

"Quiet, you're going to wake everyone up."

He's there. He's sitting right there, right beside you. Why isn't he in bed with you? Oh, it's a stretcher, not a bed. You reach to him, but can't move your hands. "Why am I tied up?"

"You were clawing at your mouth and eyes. I did it so you wouldn't hurt yourself." He moves as he speaks, untying the restraints, and the moment he does, your arms lock around him.

"I… I thought you were dead."

He chuckles. "Well, you almost tried to kill me once, but it's okay, I won't hold it against you since you were high out of your mind. Well, high on whatever Sebastian's persuasion is."

"I tried to… wait. Did…" You push him away from you so you can look at his neck. There is nothing, no bandage, no scar. His neck is tantalizing and irresistible and unmarred, just like it was before. "We… we did it?"

He nods. "Sebastian has more knowledge now than he did before. I don't know how bad this could be. But it doesn't matter. Something to worry about some other time. He's gone for now, said we could stay for as long as we wanted, but I wouldn't like another minute in here." You remember very vaguely of your time at the lab. It makes you feel guilty that you could possibly have aided someone's perverse experiments. "Let's go." He starts to get up and pull you with him, but you remain on the stretcher.

"Wait. Shouldn't we do something? How about that Turner guy? Do we release him? Do you think he's using him to… y'know…"

"What? What do you suppose we do? Rescue the poor soul? We don't even know who he is. He could be better off locked away for all we know."

"But… but we… I don't know. Maybe we could try to find out what his plans are? Try to thwart them?"

"Thwart them?" He smiles unamused. "This isn't an espionage movie, and we're no heroes. What we can do is keep an eye out for him, there's no point in acting blindly."

"...You haven't felt it, have you? You said his power doesn't work on you?"

"He has tried it, and I can feel him digging in, but no. None of our powers work on the other. To each other, we're just regular people." He has given up trying to get you to follow him, but hasn't sat back down.

"It's… dangerous. I can still feel it. I can still…" You can hear a voice in your head. StayStayStayStayStay. It's not quite Sebastian's, but it's somewhat similar. It's weaker, but at the same time stronger, because it's making you want to stay.

"I'm sorry." This time, Vincent does sit down beside you. "That you had to go through that. But there's no point in dwelling here anymore. Let's get as far as we can from here."

Stay.

Your head starts to muddle. "I… I have to stay."

He frowns. "What? Why?"

You want to keep helping on the experiments.

"I want to… keep helping on the experiments…"

"What? No, that's insane, why are you…" You don't hear the rest of his words with how loud the voice is..

You have a gift, and you want to share it for the greater good.

"I want to… I… to share my… gift?"

He glowers at you. "Who is inside your head?"

Grace's spell is still in place. This is all you.

"No one, Grace's spell is still in place. This is all me."

He continues glaring at you, and you can only imagine he's trying to get inside your head too. "Tell me the truth."

Your mind gets even muddier, but nothing comes out of your mouth. His blood control has been broken.

Let him go. The truth is you know he's not right for you. And you lied to him, you do in fact want to live in a castle. This one.

"You… we shouldn't be together…You should go. That is the truth. I want... I want to live here." The words feel disgusting in your mouth, and your heart feels like it's physically breaking. It only worsens when you look at his face.

You've never seen him make such a face. Such a betrayed face.

That's right. He'll be okay, you've done your part. Let him go. You don't want to be with him. Time to say goodbye.

You let go of him. "You're okay now, I've done my part, but… I don't want to be with you anymore. Goodbye." Something keeps your tears from falling, but your eyes are burning.

"...I see." He stands up again and starts walking away. That in itself already feels terrible and wrong. But there's something else. Something else that's wrong. 

Not knowing what to do, you grip the pendant with both hands. The grasp of that voice vanishes for a moment and you stand up, walking around slowly, head still jumbled, and you look for him, but he's gone already. Your heart is on the floor. You try to follow, but the place is a maze, hallways that lead nowhere, rooms full of people sleeping. 

Something's wrong.

"Vincent!" 

You'll wake everyone up. You don't care. Finally, you see light up ahead and you follow it, someone must still be up. It's such a bright light. You hope you're not back at the lab. No, the lab lights are white, this one is more yellow, and brighter. Way brighter. And warm. "No." You look at your watch. 5:58 a.m.

You step into the sunlight and see him outside. He's walking away from the castle, closer and closer to where the shadow of it ends and there's nothing but sunlight. "VIN-"

STAY

The pendant touches your hand and you grab it. "NO! FUCK OFF!" You jump out the window, trying to roll as you fall so you won't break anything, and when you look up, he's right there, and so is the sun. "Vincent!"

He turns around just as the sun hits his face, and you try to stumble to your feet, but your legs aren't working, but you have to pull him away, away from the sun, you have to, you have…

But the sun is already shining all over him, and he's turning to dust, getting smaller, vanishing… your heart is turning to dust too, he…

He's kneeling beside you. "What's wrong with you?"

"You… you're okay. You're okay. You're okay. You're… how, how are you okay?"

"I thought you wanted me gone?"

"No! Never! There was something. I don't know. Something in my head. Telling me awful things. Please let's get out of the sun."

His face softens, and he stands up slowly. "Come on."

"I… can't move."

"What? It doesn't seem like it was such a big fall. You're probably just in shock." He tries to pick you up, but fails, then he sits down in the shade of a tree.

"What-"

"Shh. In a moment."

You just nod and watch him. He's not dead, that's all it matters. When clouds cover the sun for a moment, he picks you up, still with a bit of trouble. You think about joking about being too heavy, but there's no mood for that.

Soon you reach the car. You can feel some movement returning to your legs when he puts you in the driver's seat and gets to his side, closing both doors.

"I'm sorry, I'm so sorry I said those things. There was a voice like Sebastian's making me say it. I didn't mean it. I didn't mean any of it. And I'm sorry I tried to kill you."

He watches you for a long time, then rests his forehead on yours. "It's fine. It's probably that thing. He said it was harmless, but… we should really get as far away from here as possible. Are your legs okay now?"

You try to move, and they do, but it still feels too weak. "Not really. But Vincent… it knew about Grace's spell. When I told you it was still in place, it was the voice who reminded me of that. It knows about it… and the spell doesn't work on it."

"I will talk to Sebastian about it. But we are leaving now, although I should warn you. Once again, we might not survive." He picks you up again and basically throws you in the back seat. Then he moves to the driver seat and turns the key, looking at the pedals. "I don't even know which one is the brakes."

"Oh, no." You cover your face with your hands, but the car seems to be moving just fine. "Wait. What thing? And you haven't told me how you haven't… disappeared yet."

"You said you trusted me, right? Then don't ask, you don't want to know. We won't ever have to deal with it again, since we're going far, far away. Where do you want to go? Bucharest?"

"Anywhere, anywhere is fine. Vincent, please."

"I… I can stand it. For a while, at least. I told you there are people with rare powers. I can stand it. Can barely move in it, though, and it hurts. And it makes me powerless for a while. I can feel it burning. I just… don't."

You want to yell. You want to scream on his face. Why didn't he tell you? But you don't. Something in his voice… "Are you embarrassed of it?"

"Of course! It's a weakness, not a power! It doesn't do me any good. When I stepped into it and realized I wasn't burning, I wanted to laugh at first. Then it did start to burn. Smoke actually started to rise from me, and I changed my mind. I dragged myself back to the shadow until I could move. So I suppose if I stay in it long enough…"

You open your mouth then close it again, realizing what he just said. He walked into the sun, willingly. Thinking he would turn to dust.

You don't know what he sees when he looks at you through the rear view mirror, but his voice is soft. "It was a long time ago."

You can't stand being in the back seat anymore. "Pull over." He does so without a word, and your legs are well enough that you can open the back door and walk to the front. You sit beside him, a hard fit, but when he tries to go to the passenger seat, you don't let him. Then you hold him so tight he actually gasps a little. "It's okay." You breathe him in. "You're okay. Everything is okay."

He whispers something in your ear, and you revel in the elation it brings you. "Do you believe me now?"

You take a deep breath, and it takes you so long to exhale that you can't say how long you've been holding it. "Yeah. I love you too. So much you wouldn't believe it."

*

You don't know much about stars, but you can tell the hotel has five of them. The receptionist watches you approach the counter with visible disgust. Then Vincent does his thing, and you grab the keycard.

"There's a jacuzzi! I've always wanted to try it. Can you call room service?"

"Sure. What would you like as your last meal?"

*

It hurts much more than you thought it would, but you try not to squirm too much. You just hold his head in place, fingers splaying in his hair as he sucks the life out of you.

*

Both the pain and the hunger are unbelievable, and he gives you his arm to suck on, warning you it's not going to really ease the pain, only help you heal faster. You black out, and when you wake up, there's someone else in the room. A zombie? No, just a girl. She's holding your knife, and there's a gash in her wrist. "I won't let you get too much. You're not going to kill her." He brings the girl's arm to your mouth and you suck, you couldn't care less if she died, you just want to feed. It tastes good, so good. Delicious. More. More. More.

But he's pulling her away from you, and you whimper, trying to follow. But once again, you're restrained.

"Shh, it's okay. I brought more." You manage to look around, and there's another girl and two boys, all zombie-like in their expressions. You feel loved.

*

Vampires do go to the bathroom. But only number one.

*

"...They don't remember?"

"They remember what I want them to remember. Those two couples? Made a suicide pact all together, but regretted it last minute."

"I… I didn't even care if she lived or died. But I do. I do now. Is she okay?"

"They all are. And it's part of the initial hunger. Next time you'll be aware enough already."

*

You feel more vain than you ever did looking in the mirror. "Huh. I don't think I need makeup anymore."

*

You want to make it special, something you'll both always remember. An idea strikes you, and you drag him to the car. You take off your clothes, staying only in your underwear. "Much more space, no vomit, no sunlight."

The effect is almost immediate… you can see it in his pants. "I'm not sure if any of that would have been enough to stop me, to be honest."

"Ew." He's still watching you voraciously. "Well, what are you waiting for?"

He pounces.

Mouth on yours hungrier than ever before, claws making short work of what little you were wearing. Then he sits back on his seat and pulls you onto his lap. You kiss him just as he enters you, and you moan into his mouth, legs parting to get more of him. Then his teeth are on your neck and his nails all over you. You barely manage to pant your desires. "Harder… More…"

"Which?"

"...All of it."

He makes a feral noise that has you swooning. "Perfect is not nearly a good enough word to describe you."

You look at your arms and almost feel bad for bleeding all over the upholstery. Almost.

He speeds up, hands on your hips gripping so tight as he brings you down on him over and over that you're sure those marks will take longer to heal than the scratches. You die in his arms, the best death of your life, and he follows soon after.

When your breathing starts going back to normal, you kiss his neck and return to your seat so you can smoke, and when you look down at yourself, still panting a little, you can see the scratches have already started to heal. "Aw, man."

He chuckles. "Really? I won't feel bad for you next time, then."

"Oh? And when is next time?"

He's still smiling, gloriously naked and beautiful, and you wonder when was it that he took off his clothes. Then you see his pants are still around his ankles, and his shirt is on the floor of the car, buttons scattered all over. Your dead heart has never beaten harder. "Have mercy, I'm an old man. Give me at least five minutes."

Being a vampire fucks.

"That long? Maybe there's something I can do to help speed up the process." Cigarettes completely gone from your mind, in a moment you're between his legs, once again thankful for such a spacious car, and the gesture alone is enough to get a decent reaction out of him. You don't dawdle too much, or at all, taking him in your mouth as far as you can, almost choking, then going further and further, until he pulls you away.

"Okay, that did it."

You grin, returning to your seat. "Harder."

"...I haven't even started yet."

"Why not?"

Something snaps underneath you. You're pretty sure the poor car seat isn't supposed to recline that fast and without using the handle. Now the car's going to need both a wash and a mechanic.

He bites so hard, it's almost like he wants to turn you again. You moan your appreciation and try to move against him, not that the position helps much. You almost regret not settling for the bed. One of your feet ends up on the ceiling, while the other hits the horn.

"Oops. Do you think someone's gonna come?"

"You and me, hopefully."

You laugh and kiss him again.

*

"Let me try it, I think I can do it."

"Not with that attitude, you can't."

"What?"

"What? The movie we just saw last week? With the green old man? Do or do not, there is no try."

You grin. "Never in a million years did I ever think I'd hear you quoting Star Wars. Alright, I'll do it." You look the realtor in the eyes, focusing hard. Give me the key, all the documents are signed, everything is paid for.

Her eyes go out of focus for a moment, but then she just shakes her head with a frown. "What just-"

Vincent does it with a glance. She hands him the key and leaves.

"Showoff."

He kisses your head. "It's okay, you can try it on the car guy when we go pick it up. It just takes a little practice." The house isn't big, but there's a mantel in the living room, and you place the box with the pendant. It's a little crooked since you had to handle it with a piece of cloth, but it looks good. There's catnip in the garden, which you hope will bring many of your favorite creatures for a visit. There's also a place perfect for an orange tree. You hope it hasn't grown enough that it won't fit in the car. But by the time you decide to go pick it up, Grace tells you it's grown so much it would be dangerous to uproot it. She has a new sapling ready for you on your next visit.

*

Your hand still hurts where the sun touched it. Vincent chides you, but you had to know. You just had to know.

*

"I don't know, guys. It's not the same thing." Grace removes her sarong and spreads it over the sand so she can sit on it.

"Why, just because you can't tan? You can moonbathe, isn't it better? No burnt skin, no need for lotion."

She shrugs. "Moonbathing does make my spells stronger. Alright, where's the picnic basket?"

"Oh, I have it." Tony brings the picnic basket, a beach ball, snorkels, flippers and many other things you had no idea were in the car.

The picnic consists of jello blood cubes, blood popsicles, just plain old blood in a jug of juice and a watermelon. Which was Paul's idea.

"We can hit it with a baseball bat. I saw it in an anime."

"Why, Paul? Why?" Vincent rubs his face.

"For fun, you curmudgeon. Fun. Still know what that is?"

"Fine, but don't blame me if I accidentally hit your head instead." He doesn't, but the watermelon explodes with the first hit, so that's an activity that ends too quickly.

Later when everyone's too tired from playing and it's just the two of you by the fireplace, you can't hide a satisfied smile. It went great, and everybody seemed to have a good time.

"Why the beach, though?" he asks between kisses on your neck and ear.

"Well… it's been a year today. I wanted to celebrate, then I remembered something Grace said once, and I thought, why not, y'know? We're allowed to have fun at the beach or wherever the hell we please. To hell with the sun, who needs that stupid ball of fire."

There has been no news on Sebastian, whatever he's planning, if he is planning, none of you heard a thing. Besides, is it even your job to… what? Stop him? Keep him in line? Defeat him? You snort. If it comes down to it… when the time comes…

"I know what you are thinking." You eye him suspiciously. "No, I haven't secretly had telepathy this whole time, I just know you. And I really don't think you should worry all that much. He's a procrastinator. Whether he plans to gather an army to, I don't know, lead the 21st century vampire uprising against the world or he just wants to increase his harem size, it will take a while either way. And he'll end up doing neither."

"... Harem?"

"I used to be like him, in a way."

"Harem?"

"No!" He laughs and pushes you away, then immediately brings you back. "I looked for someone too, someone who would be by my side. Someone strong, someone… perfect." He takes your face in his hands. "But then you came along and threw a wrench right in the middle of that plan."

"Um… y'know, I think we should try to see if you would survive that decapitation after all." You put your hands around his neck, but the sensation of his pulse under your fingers and the expression in his eyes are enough to assuage you. "Asshole." You kiss his neck and look around. Your friends, something you've never had much of in your life. Grace bathing in the moonlight, even wearing sunglasses (moonglasses?), Paul apparently sleeping while Tony buries him up in the cold sand. Then your eyes return to him. Your lover. The person who hung the moon and the stars. You really couldn't ask for anything more. "I love it, you know? Love this life. Thank you for giving it to me."

He lies down on the sand and pulls you on top of him. "You know, I think that should be my line."

LeEnd

(some notes)

I should say that in my canon Cora can endure the sun because her transformation isn't complete, and to be honest I'm unsure if she defeated the 'curse' by the end or not. And her mother can kinda stand it? idk, her mom's probably a ghoul, who cares about her bleh

(Also they were in Europe all along?? Even though the campers in the film all seemed to be American?? What? Uh... tourists.) But yeah, I know it was filmed in California but it kinda gave me a European feel. Who cares, not important.

Also2 I know I set up some shit with Sebastian and his... thing, whatever that might be, but I don't think there will be a part 3. It's not impossible, but it's highly unlikely. Unless a muse comes and bites me right in the ass

This was all inspired by London After Midnight (the band not the film) and to me they're Vincent's band now. Either Spider and the Fly or Love You to Death could very well be his theme song. Actually no, scratch that. Their entire discography is his theme song 🧛

Part one and this are hands down the most absolutely self-indulgent thing I've ever written in my life. No joke. And there's barely any smut

Thanks for reading.

No, wait, there's more. Eh, just a couple of dialogues that I didn't end up using because things went a different way.

"Y'know, we should have a double date sometime now that we're officially dating and all."

He looks at you as if you've grown a third eye. "Officially? I thought that was settled since I kissed you the first time. Have I not been a proper boyfriend to you after that?"

Well, of course not! crosses your mind, but then you think about it, really think about it. Every word. Every action. Everything he said and did and you thought he wasn't serious. Yes, you realize your mistake. Your big, dumb mistake. Because he has. Ever since that day in the attic he's been so much… well, you wouldn't say nicer, or sweeter but… less of an asshole?

Really? This entire time?

You're about to speak, but then he continues. "We've been looking for a place to live. Together. As… roommates, then?"

"Oh no."

"Your face is really, really red."

You cover said face with both hands. "Shut up! Oh no. I'm so stupid. I'm so, so stupid."

"That's okay." He pulls your hands from your face so he can kiss you. "You can be stupid all you want, I love you regardless."

*

"You kissed my what?"

You can't bear to look at his face. "I don't wanna talk about it."

He ignores you. "Because, I seem to remember you calling me a creep, you, who stalked me for weeks, who watches me sleep…"

"How do you- I mean, uh…"

"And while I was sleeping, you said you kissed my what?"

"I don't want. To talk. About it. It was a slip of the tongue."

"Oh, I'll bet it was."

"Vincent…!"

"It's alright, I don't mind. The creep and the freak. I bet people will have a hard time figuring out who's who."

You can't even be mad at him for that. Because he doesn't even know the worst part.

Okay now it's really the end.

[midnight-mourning]

Good morning, mourning! is it possible for you to show us how you make an outline for writing a chapter sometime in the future? like what does your first rough rough draft look like?🤔

also whats your favorite vine/meme at the moment?🫣

Hi pip!!

I can actually show you RIGHT NOW as I keep all my outlines (for the most part) saved in their respective chapters

*added a read more post-answering bc this got LONG lol*

So, it's sometimes a bit dependent on the fic, what I'm writing at the time, and where I'm at in the process. I usually have two different methods I stick to and typically combine in some manner:

bulleted list of important scenes/ideas to expand out upon from there (typically how I start out ideas for oneshots)

big blurb paragraph of a flow of ideas from start to finish (typically how I start out chapter-based fics, and what I do for Confused Spirit)

From there, I'll then combine the two methods in some way if it's a oneshot, and if I'm struggling to get the words flowing for a chapter-based fic, I'll use the list to expand out upon things I wrote originally. For example, this was ch. 34's outline (spoilers for those who haven't read it yet):

and then the list I added once I got started properly, which I crosssed out as I went along. Fun fact, you can see where I hit a moment of greatness in that last bullet and the chapter came together as a whole from there:

the blacked out is things I've pushed back for later (or just general spoiler stuff), so you can see that inital plans and even those I make WHILE writing the chapter are still subject to change as I go into actually writing it. Another good example would be from ch. 32:

in this case, I went back and added to the original outline (I think you can tell where lmao) and didn't utilize a list

I'd love to find chekov's gun, bc that one was REALLY good if I'm remembering correctly but I think it's buried somewhere in the Dialogue Dump unfortunately 😔

Adding on to that, I write a lot of scene ideas/mainly dialogue for things that happen in the future as the ideas don't typically come to me in chronological order. the party from 33? like a month into writing the story. the team meeting Michael? mid-arc 2. Chekov's gun? the start to midway point in the first couple days of writing and then basically finished within by the middle of august (started in July for those that don't know)

My point being that there's a lot of things that I have saved for certain arcs/plot points that I then insert into their proper place in the story once I find where that is. For arc 3 in particular I took the approach of gathering all the dialogue i KNOW was going to be in the arc, wrote my lil blurbs for all the chapters, and then started placing them accordingly. stuff has (and probably will continue to) gotten shuffled around, but for the most part has stayed in their original places.

a rough rough draft beyond that is basically adding to those base scene ideas (sometimes in order, sometimes not) typically writing dialogue and then filling in the blanks from there! sometimes if I'm lucky I can write a chapter from (mostly) start to finish in a span of four hours or so but that's only when i'm REALLY cookin'

Sorry for the super long winded response, didn't realize how much I wrote until I did it 😅

TL;DR, blurb of ideas, organize those ideas/add to them or adjust, full send it from there (with the potential help of some dialogue along the way)

As for my fav vine/meme currently? Probably the lump fish guy, everytime someone says 'very mindful, very demure' (I am not on tiktok so I do NOT understand this one) I instantly think 'very beautiful, very powerful'

thanks so much for the lovely ask!!! <3 <3 <3

[colonyorats]

So, all credit to my very close friend @silly-boi-broski for reminding me of this song because I need to write a whole entire other post about my relationship with this song and how I kept thinking about it and how well it fits with both my life and probably my favorite book, Hell Followed with Us.

*Deep breath*

I grew up in a very very religious household (I still live in one). My dad's a pastor, my mom works with the youth groups, and I was heavily involved from day one. I was taught to "Love thy neighbour" and that everyone deserved a chance at heaven, that Jesus loves everyone no matter what but at the same time I watched as the very same people would turn around and chase the teen mom out of church or shun the kid who came out as queer and whatever other bullshit things they did.

I remember people at my church saying the most racist and terrible shit ever, like, the kind of things people say on Twitter nowadays but in real life infront of the Pastor and his literal child.

Then, we moved somwhere else and I got sent to a private school up until 5th grade and saw the hate the teachers spread and how a bunch of people bullied this one kid because he was of color and all the rest of us where white and it was so bad that he had to be transferred to a different school the next year because of it but I didn't understand it at the time and he was my best friend so I was so fucking confused.

Same thing happened to a kid in a wheelchair, and, while it wasn't as bad for me, I was, and still kinda am, the fat kid so that made it suck on my part since I heard comments from adults saying things to my mom like "She'd be so much more beautiful if she lost a few more pounds" which, hello??? That's a fucking terrible thing to say about a literal 10 year old child.

That was about the same time I started questioning if any of it was really real and I had a huge drop in my mental health and personally went through hell and back during a bunch of personal stuff I won't get into right now, but involved a lot of questioning my identity and shit and a lot of family drama.

That's when sometime during 2022 my friend (also @silly-boi-broski) suggested me a book called Hell Followed with Us because he was going through some similar stuff. I was skeptical at fist but then I read it and was blown away that someone was writing about similar feelings I had.

The rage and justice I felt while reading it almost broke me because I had grown up in an environment, while not as literally deadly as Benji, was so similar to it that I freaked out and had to put the book down at times. I finally finished it and I felt so seen and understood that I couldn't not want to talk and ramble about it and now I've reread it more times than I can count and everytime it makes me feel so understood.

Fuck, then I remembered the song he sent me and hearing that for the first time made me feel all the same things I did when reading HFWU and it just shocks me.

While I don't align myself with the church in any way, I think I still believe. Kind of like how Faith said it in the book, "I do, actually. And I'm still trying to figure out how I feel about that. Talking to friends--you know, Sadaf is Muslim, Salvador is Catholic, Carly is Jewish--to see if anything clicks. Or if I'm just going to have to deal with believing in the same kind of God those motherfuckers do... I guess what I'm saying is, I believe in something, and I don't know what to do with it, and maybe, I don't actually believe in anything at all, and I just want to because I hate the idea of Trevor being faced with nothing." (-page 55 of the US edition paperback of HFWU)

This is already so long so I'll stop but I still have so much to say about this book and this song but I'll save that for another day.

Here's the song I was talking about btw

[graneymar]

#5.2 NEYMAR JR: ONE NIGHT IN IBIZA (Part 1)

SUMMARY: You and Neymar are back from vacation, finally facing different sides of having a public relationship.

WARNINGS: none actually, some fluff with a minimum of angst and the smallest minimum of smut (literally just one dirty sentence)

PAIRING: Neymar x fem!reader

After spending our last few days in Ibiza, I decided I would stay with Neymar in Paris for another week before I had to leave for my studies.

We arrived only a few hours ago and spent the rest of the day cuddling up in his bed, watching movies and our favorite shows. My phone lit up - an Instagram notification about Neymar tagging me in his story. I smiled at him and shortly pecked his cheek. Since the public found out about us, he wouldn’t go a day without tagging or posting me - he literally mentioned me whenever and wherever he could. "How do you feel about being in the public now?", he asked and took his eyes off of the tv to glance at me. I shrugged, "It's been okay so far I guess. I'm just really hoping I will not get treated differently in university now. And I hope your fangirls will not overcrowd my office once I'm finished." He chuckled before kissing my hand he was holding in his. Those hazel eyes that always looked at me in love and admiration suddenly darkened. Oh, I knew what he had in mind. "Ney, I'm too tired today", I exclaimed laughing while he didn’t seem to care as he climbed on top of me. "Can’t wait to fuck you in your own office, Ms. Lawyer", he smirked before the two of us shared a long, passionate kiss that quickly led to another fun activity.

The next morning I woke up to see Neymar wasn’t in bed anymore. It wasn’t anything new, he always got up earlier than me. When I heard his annoyed groans and cursing though, I got a little worried. Slowly opening the bedroom door, I tiptoed my way into the living room, where I found Neymar talking on his phone. "Yeah okay, whatever. I'll be there tomorrow", he sighed out before hanging up and looking straight at me. "I have to play Saturday, training starts tomorrow." I crossed my arms in front of my chest. "Why? All you asked for was another week off? I'm leaving Sunday", the disappointment in my voice was clearly audible. "I know baby, but Kylian's injured. I can’t leave those idiots hanging", Neymar explained. My lips formed a pout as I nodded. We planned to attend the match anyway, but we were supposed to be watching together instead of me watching him playing. "I'm sorry meu amor", he mumbled while cupping my face in his hands. "Está bem [it’s fine]", I replied, even though it really wasn’t. If it would be only him playing on Saturday I’d be less worried, but him training meant even less time we would be able to spend together. "Hey", he softly said stroking my cheek, "Don't be sad, please. Let’s have some breakfast, get ready and go out, hm?"

Our day went just as planned. Honestly, I've been excited and nervous about going out with Neymar since it would be the first time everyone would see as the couple we actually were, not just friends like we pretended to be before. To my surprise though, there were no paparazzi, barely even any fans interrupting our shopping tour - and most of the fans that came up to us simply wanted to take a picture with Neymar and greeted me nicely. So far, so good, I thought. Until we got out of the sushi restaurant and the paparazzi were already waiting outside. I gasped at the amount of cameras that were directed at me, my body twitched everytime another flashlight lit up. "Que merda [shit]", Neymar mumbled to himself and reached out for my hand. I instantly grabbed his,l while my other hand was busy covering my face. As he started walking through the crowd to get to his car, he squeezed my hand a little tighter. One of the paparazzi shoved his camera right into my face. "Step away from her please", Neymar politely yet demanding said - ignorance being the only response. That one paparazzi got even closer to me, almost tearing apart Neymars and my intertwined hands. He started asking questions like how we both met; why Neymar would be dating me in the first place and finally, if I had serious intentions with Neymar or if it was just money, fame and attention that I was after. That was enough for Neymar to lose his shit. He pushed the camera away from me, making it hit the paparazzi right into his face. "I said step away from her! Filho da puta [son of a bitch]", he shouted out through gritted teeth, pulling me closer to him. As soon as we approached his car, he quickly opened the passenger door for me, slightly pushing me in to avoid anyone else getting closer to me than they were supposed to. Taking a few deep breaths I started calming down a little, instinctively grabbing Neymars hand as soon as he dropped himself next to me. "How did they even know where we're at?", I asked, my voice still a little shaky. Neymar stroked my hand with his thumb while checking his phone. "Oh fuck", he mumbled and turned his phone in my direction, "I thought I saved it as a draft but I must’ve accidentally posted it. I'm so sorry babe." How clever, a photo of our food and the damn location. I tried to keep my angry facial expression while staring at him, but finally bursted out into laughter. He looked at me, relieved but confused. "Why are you laughing? I thought you’d be mad at me."

"I am, actually", I raised my brows at him, "but that’s so typically Neymar. This is something that can only happen to you and no one else, honestly." He shrugged, his lips pressed into a thin line, looking at me with puppy eyes before finally giving me a short kiss and starting the car.

The next few days went by quite ordinary. While Neymar was at training, I tried to distract myself by cleaning the apartment, cooking or simply taking a walk outside. When the day of his match arrived though, the anxiety broke through me again. "Baby, don’t worry! Guilherme and Gil will be with you. I got you seats far from the fans", Neymar reassured me as he tried to calm me down. God, if he only knew I wasn’t scared of the fans but the media talking shit about me again. When the paparazzi caught us back in Ibiza, I instantly got compared to Neymars ex girlfriends, saying I looked nothing like them, talking badly about my appearance, my body, even how I wasn’t photogenic. I truly didn’t care about what they said about how I looked. I was confident enough to ignore it and as long as Neymar viewed me the way he did, I couldn’t care less about how others saw me. When the media started talking trash about our relationship, saying I was just enjoying the luxurious lifestyle Neymar brought to my life and I apparently was only interested in his money, fame and attention though - that actually hurt me. It was hard enough for Neymar to open up after so many people took advantage of him, building up his trust in me was an entire process. I was afraid they would come up with some story that would make him doubt my love for him or even overthink our relationship. But I refused to tell him about what was actually bothering me. I didn’t want to make a scene before anything even happened.

"I have to go now", Neymar finally said, quickly kissing my cheek, "I'll see you there. Gil calls you once he’s here to pick you up!"

The first half of the match went pretty calm, no goals and not too many fouls. I was just happy I didn’t really get noticed by anyone. Only ten minutes into the second half, Neymar scored the first goal for PSG. Guilherme, Gil and I got up from our seats, clapping and cheering. That was when Neymar jogged up to our side of the field and blowed me a kiss with a wide smile on his face. I felt my cheeks blushing as all heads in the crowd turned in my direction. Gil noticed how uncomfortable I gor and decided to distract the crowd by blowing a kiss back to Ney, screaming out "Oh my God, I love you Neymar" in a high pitched voice, acting like a fangirl. I started laughing and sat down again. "That’s Neymars girlfriend, she’s so pretty", a girl a few rows in front of me said. I smiled at her widely as her boyfriend turned around to look at me. "Bruna is prettier", he simply stated. I tilted my head, my smile widened in a provocative way and I waved at him before showing him my middle finger. Guilherme started laughing while Gilmar almost choked on his drink. "Y/N, you can’t do that", he said, "Your Neymar Jrs girlfriend! Adding to that, you’ll be a lawyer soon." I shrugged my shoulders and continued to watch the match. "And what about it? Aren’t lawyers allowed to fight and defend themselves outside of the court?" Guilherme held his hand up for a high five that I returned.

The match ended, PSG won 2-0. The boys and I were waiting for Neymar outside the stadium. "Hey babe", Neymar greeted me and kissed my cheek, Marco following closely behind him. "So you wanna come over to my place and celebrate the win?", Marco asked after politely nodding at me. Neymars facial expression turned from happy into sad as he heavily breathed out. "I can’t", he responded, wrapping one arm around my shoulder, "Y/N leaves tomorrow." Marcos nod told us he was absolutely understanding. "It’s sucks you're already leaving, but it was a pleasure to see you again", he grinned and hugged me before we said our goodbyes and got into our cars.

At the airport, I hid my face in Neymars chest, refusing to let him go as the tears continued to stream down my face. By the way his body slightly flinched from time to time, I knew he was close to tears as well. "Calm down meu anjo, I promise I'll do everything I can to visit you as soon as possible", he whispered, stroking the back of my head and kissing my forehead. I looked up at him and saw a single tear rolling down his cheek. "I love you so much", I sobbed, hugging him even tighter than before, "I really can’t do this anymore. I can’t be this far away from you all the time." Neymar pulled away a bit, only so much that we were face to face. "I'll be there soon, I promise you Y/N. Please keep on focusing on your studies. No matter what happens, I'm right here waiting for you - or waiting for you to call me over. I love you." The last call for my flight. I grabbed my suitcase and fell right into his arms for the ultimate time. "I love you", I repeated again and again until I finally walked away from him slowly, not able to take my eyes off of him.

[zealina]

saw this post by @inamagicalhallucination about atsushi drawing and wanted to contribute (long post)

atsushi's interest in drawing stems from finding pencils scattered in the orphanage and he starts scribbling mindlessly, usually in corners or places he knows people won't see

it provides a small sense of escapism for him as it allows him to zone out and not think about anything

eventually someone rats him out and he's forced to stop

he rediscovers his hobby when ranpo tasks him with getting candy and he to the newsagency for a specific kind of candy and spots a fancy colour by number book

atsushi flips through it and discovers it centres around colouring pretty landscapes from around the world, which encourages him to find a cheap coloured pencil kit and some paper

then he starts off by drawing random places he finds pretty, be it some park or a sunset he saw

it takes him some time to get used to colours and how to blend them, but he manages

eventually he starts incorporating animals into his drawings (especially cats or insects that are around)

at some point he wants to improve on his skills so he focuses on close ups of scenes, animals or scenes with lots of objects in it, and he especially loves colouring places or objects that are vivid in colour over dark things

once he's more confident he starts to buy better pencils and higher quality paper to experiment with, and even tries a different type of style of drawing before he realises he likes drawing in realism the most

atsushi doesn't tell anyone about his hobby (he presumes ranpo knows but doesn't care, and he thinks dazai knows but this isn't confirmed by either of them), but the first person who finds out and asks him about it is kyouka, who finds a half finished drawing on his bed when she was cleaning

after hearing kyouka ask enough about his drawings ("you don't have to show me, but i'd love to see your drawings" translates to "i will be really offended if you don't eventually show me your drawings"), he caves and reluctantly shows some

kyouka then immediately asks if he can draw her and he bottles up and says no (politely since it's atsushi) before saying he's going on a walk

she apologises when he returns and atsushi accepts and the topic is dropped, but not without atsushi feeling a little guilty about making his hobby a big deal

time passes and atsushi decides to draw kyouka on a whim when they visit a park together (she's the only person who he feels comfortable openly drawing around) but doesn't show her until they return back to their dorm

she accepts it happily and gives him a hug which takes atsushi a few seconds to process before he accepts the hug

from then on, kyouka becomes a reoccurring figure in his art and every so often she'll appear in the background and he'll always give the ones kyouka appears in to her

kyouka always praises his work and hugs him (which has atsushi blushing everytime)

i might post a part 2 but im too lazy rn lol

[onyxsboxes]

𝐭𝐰𝐞𝐧𝐭𝐲 𝐪𝐮𝐞𝐬𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧𝐬 𝐟𝐨𝐫 𝐟𝐢𝐜 𝐰𝐫𝐢𝐭𝐞𝐫𝐬!

Tagged by @sig-nifier and @darkimpala1897 thank you 🥰

.

1. How many works do you have on ao3?

I've got 9

2. What's your total ao3 word count?

37,367

3. What fandoms do you write for?

Top gun and Masters of the Air

4. Top five fics by kudos

Wait, WHAT? - Clegan (Masters of the Air) 350 kudos

The secret list of very serious (and sober) 100th’s rules - gen and clegan (Masters of the Air) 232 kudos

Navy’s sad day - gen and icemav relation (Top gun) 207 kudos

Omg, they were switching - gen and icemav relation (Top gun) 120 kudos

100th founds out - Clegan (Masters of the Air) 108 kudos

5. Do you respond to comments?

I try, sometimes it can take a bit of time (a lot, even) but I try to answer each and every one of them. I'm trying to reply more quickly now

6. What is the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

My Wingmen’s Daemons series and especially Navy's sad day (it's a bittersweet series)

7. What's the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

I prefer happy endings, so all my mota fic. If I had to say just one, I'd pick The secret list of very serious (and sober) 100th’s rules because everyone lives and it's all just funny little thoughts.

8. Do you get hate on fics?

I don't, people are very kind in their comments and they make my days everytime 🥰

9. Do you write smut?

No, but mota is also the first fandom where I've written characters who are affectionate towards each other (not counting family-ish relation), so one small step at a time. We never know what the future will bring.

10. Craziest crossover?

The only crossover I've written is a Top Gun x His Dark Materials one. And even then, it was mainly for one aspect only.

11. Have you ever had a fic stolen?

I hope no

12. Have you ever had a fic translated?

Yes, one. Thank you to the lovely person who did it

13. Have you ever co-written a fic before?

Nope, never

14. All time favorite ship?

That's a tough one. I've been in so many fandoms over the years that I have just as many, if not more, favorite ships. Generally, my favorites are those of the fandom I'm in at the time. So I'm going to say Clegan because MOTA has taken over my brain recently.

15. What's a wip you want to finish but doubt you ever will?

I don't know if this counts, but I have a Top Gun series that I started in 2022. I really hope to finish it, but I don't know when.

16. What are your writing strengths?

Based on people's feedback, I'd say it's fluff and humor.... (readers of my Top Gun fics might disagree though).

17. What are your writing weaknesses?

Description, definitely description. I want to get on with the plot without describing enough what's going on. It's well-planned and full of images in my head, but I'm rushing things a bit.

English as a language, I check it, double-check it and triple-check it every time, but when I reread I always find mistakes and errors.

And write what I tell myself I'm going to write. That's also partly why I don't talk much about my wip until I have something on it. Otherwise, I don't have the motivation to write it anymore (it's so annoying guys, I want so much to share them with you but I have to restrain myself to be able to write them 🥺).

18. Thoughts on dialogue in another language?

I think it's nice when it stays in characters. It's even better if the author puts the translation after or at the bottom of the page.

19. First fandom you wrote in?

The first time I posted was for Top Gun, but I think back then I wrote for Warriors Cat or Kateikyoushi Hitman Reborn too.

20. Favorite fic you've written?

I'll opt for Wait, what? (and the whole werewolf!gale au) because I never thought I'd be able to do it. And that pushed me to dig deeper into this au. But I have a few wip's that might take that place later.

.

It was fun to think about this questions.

Tagging @defnotanarc @alienoresimagines and @roseszirnheld if they want to do it 😊

[bloogers-boogers]

Kyle Brofloski/Eric Cartman (SP fic) part 5

('In love with my hatred')

/What exactly are we?/

Kyle goes through old memories between his younger self and his 'buddy'.

Slight warning ⚠️ this is a very disturbing fluffed caramelized deranged fic, kinda, not really. Just watch yourself when you press 'read more'.

Author's note: I've been so— sleep deprived guys sorry I'd I've been lacking, I'm gonna be out for a couple of days so my chaps are either gonna be short, rushed or a little delayed than usual 😭

I also want to mention that I appreciate the support I'm receiving! @liabilit-e I'm still considering on posting it on AO3 but Idk if it's just me but everytime I try loading the page it gets all laggy and slow so it's kinda not something I'm thrilled about, but still, thanks for the support! 💓 @myst1calx I think I've bother you enough but I appreciate the offer! I'll try searching for solutions but if I don't, Ik where to go, tnks;)

~~~~~~

Kyle couldn't get a bit of sleep, tossing everything aside from his desk to his floor, books flying everywhere papers spreading across the room as he slammed the table with both his fist, externally wanting to not be heard but hoping internally someone could hear him, understand him.

Frustration streamed in his veins, glassy eyes that began to sting feeling a boiling sensation in his feet; that becomes too annoying to ignore needing to move them left, right, on top of the other, bottom again, move move move until you start feeling your legs numb themselves having to force moving them aswell, arching his upper back releasing unwanted stress, the tension on his neck worsening as his growing headache resurfaced.

It was like a damn fever everytime he found himself wide awake until four in the morning, drinking coffee to make himself not dose off. Now he finds himself so use to the routine his brain makes him stay awake until it's 'time for bed' even if he doesn't drink coffee and actually attempts to sleep early.

How can you procrastinate while trying to sleep? Doing shit your brain makes you think you should do just in case you forget tomorrow.

'Write that down, Kyle' 'why didn't I think about this before, I should write it now before it gets even more late!' 'If I do this now, I won't worry tomorrow' tomorrow, tomorrow, 'tomorrow' ironically being morning, and initially the new day.

Technically being 'tomorrow', technically tricking himself going in to some ongoing messy loop.

Contemplating himself in his reflection against his laptop, he couldn't help it. Work was stressful as it is, and now having Cartman up his ass with messages asking 'wym by 'boyfriend', jew?' He hated not knowing what to respond, in all honesty, why the fuck did he even say that? Why let Kenny's teasing get him so bad? It wasn't even as bad as Cartman's taunting.

And kissing Cartman infront of the whole school? Words spread like fire, his parents heard of it from Scotch's who heard from Marsh who had heard it from Jimbo who was told from Donovan! And so on so on!

This was getting outta hand, and he didn't know why he even let himself be put in a situation he wasn't even sure he could even say regretted of.

He grabbed his laptop slamming it shut as he went downstairs going in to the garage; grabbing a hammer and heading outside in the now snowing weather, the sun was about to rise now claiming for a new day to begin.

He threw his laptop hard in the ground beneath him 'thump', slamming with force the first hit with the hammer 'thwack!' 'thwack!' Shesst' 'thwack!' 'thwack!' Hit by hit getting more aggravated, taking all his frustrations, concerns and thoughts aways.

'Why did I commit to this!?'

'Why do I care so much of what others think!'

'Why do I feel like I'm gonna mess it up somehow!'

'Why commit to something you're not sure you'll end up finishing!'

'It was too much work, so much time consuming, so much of his soul, sweat and tears put in months, weeks, days of work and he knew damn well he'll still make the effort to continue doing it'

'Risking his health both physically and mentally for a dumb grading'

'Exposing himself being in 'love' with a fat psychotic fuck, either have his heart broken or be disappointed for any outcome awaiting for him'

'He wasn't sure he could even say he loved him, but fuck he couldn't deny his attraction'

'Even if things went south, he promise himself HE would be the one to break up with Cartman, never reverse! If it isn't him saying 'goodbye' than Cartman will sit his ass down and wait!'

'If someone's deserving of another heart break it's Eric Cartman!'

He panted heavily as cold sweat drained his face, halting seeing his mad 'creation', a man walking his dog passing by the sidewalk eyeing him weirdly before continuing his pace. He sighed as he let go of the hammer; falling to the ground, sinking deeply in the snow.

He swiped some sweat off his forehead 'good thing he had all his work saved in the cloud'. And thanked God he didn't burn his paperwork.

Feeling a buzz in his pockets, he took it out and responded:

'Mornin' to u, fatboy'

°°°°

"It's okay bubbie, we don't judge you for your awful taste," his mother reassured in a soothing voice squeezing his cheeks with both her hands making him pout, "Besides there's nothing wrong with being gay, we support it, we support you," with a loud 'muack' staining his left cheek with some of her red lip gloss.

"Ofcourse, however we would judge you immensely if you're the woman in the relationship," Gerald added as he fixes some issue on the tv, Ike nodded in agreement as he passed a screwdriver to his dad.

"Gerald!," Sheila screamed, sending him a scowl.

"What?"

"It's true, ma, if someone deserves to take it up the ass, it's Eric. He's a piece of shit and has teased Kyle for being a 'no good jew' for years," Ike commented before passing some duck tape.

"WHAT WHAT WHAT!? language mister! That's your future brother in law you're now talking about," Her mother attempted defending him but he noticed how she glance upwards contemplating it aswell.

"Yikes," Ike shuddered by the thought and realization.

That's all he could recall of how his family reacted to the news, now walking to school as he avoided the bus and Cartman all together. It was funny that the other day it was the complete opposite. He wanted to be close to Cartman, see him, talk to him and now, he wants to avoid even glancing at him.

So he thought.

Cartman was his 'boyfriend' everyone would expect for he to act like one, probably even Cartman himself.

He scratched under his hat, trying his best to ease his nerves.

Third period in and no sign of Cartman, 'the fuck did fatass go?' He thought, bouncing his leg anxiously focusing hard in to paying attention in class, but his eyes couldn't help but glance at the empty seat behind him.

"Kyle! Stop being a complete gaywad cause your little boyfriend went missing for a day ¡and pay attention!," Garrison screamed annoyed, making Kyle snap back at the board, some of his classmates snickered and whisper.

Stan glanced at him but he avoided looking back at him.

At lunch he texted Cartman asking him why he didn't bother going to school, but received no response in return.

He found that odd, maybe even second guessing if Cartman was actually taking in this new 'thing' going on between them any better. 'What if fatass was just as evasive with the subject as he was trying to do?'

He hesitated, as he munched on his food oblivious of the stares he's getting.

Dashing to his locker he went through his stuff and got a small key hidden behind some old markers; he should definitely throw away but didn't. He headed back to class as he waited for school to end straight up heading some old abandoned building they use to hide out as kids. Becoming the new 'freedom pals' headquarters, 'base' or whatever. He was the 'chosen one' for key keeping; mostly preventing Cartman to find it and scratch up all their things in spite, he was the only villain who was out to get them.

He opened the big metallic door with a 'creak' as it opened slowly, the hide out was never use nowadays and he hoped no hobos had crashed it by now, he honestly didn't care as long as he didn't encounter one at that moment. Right now that he needed something. He remembered having hidden it right in this base, away from Cartman, as it was the only place he was sure Cartman wouldn't grab it and use it as leverage against him.

He remembers how stoked he was to have found a small compartment underneath the floor, and how secretive he was deciding to hog his discovery for himself. Under a big rug he managed to peel it off dust spreading across the room, coughing heavily as he cringed by the bugs and mold that came out from it.

Moldy, greasy gross pictures spread in the compartment as a wet smell came out.

He went through all those pictures, memories flooding his head as he gather them up, shoving some old toys aside as he finally brought to his chest the red box he's been looking for.

Closing behind the metallic door as he went out and walked back home, now dark as he finally arrived.

He entered his room, locked his door as he approached his messy desk. Carefully placing the box there.

He wouldn't dare admit it, fuck, he probably could never. But countless times of him and Stan taunting Cartman over his diary was one of their favorite things to tease him for, cause it was 'funny' 'cringe' 'girly', etc, so the fact he did the unthinkable.

Funny enough, he made sure to consider his own a 'journal' than a diary, nonetheless it's still similar to one. It had everything he's written from age 7 to 9, it wasn't too big neither was he constant with it but it was definitely personal, and after that he never actually found himself writing shit down, he had other hobbies he was more interested of and honestly, wasn't his thing.

He admired the crappie scribbles with crayons and markers cover, all now full of mold, smudges and peeling edges. Still, in his eyes, it was beautiful. He remembered how proud he was to have finished it, and how each page was filled with passion and sincerity. To the good days, to the sad days, angry, stressed, nervous, anxious, spiteful, envious, sorrow, regret, it was a whole ride.

It was a stress reliever for sure, and somehow he understood why Cartman was so into it. But he really couldn't help but to NOT put that much effort in it. He recalls various times just not feeling himself to fill a page, no energy or just didn't care, but he pushed himself forward onto atleast writing two paragraphs. Cause if he stopped a day, it'll make him delay his enthusiasm making him forget the whole thing after skipping a few.

He opened his first page and he chuckled.

'NOT' in red for emphasis, 'a diaRy'.

Everything was blank besides the black and red ink.

He flipped the next page,

March 1, 2019

'Dear future self,

Today I've decided to write down and for each passing day until my last page, about my daily things or whatever.

To be honest I'm not sure, but I'll give it a try.'

The instruction page was simple yet explanatory, he flipped a couple of pages cause some he'd recognized; either boring or some about his procrastination trying to peek up again and force himself to atleast write he ate some cereal that day.

Halting in one peculiar page not far from those other ones, the edges were covered in pink crayon making it noticeable of being 'personal' to 'super personal'.

March 23, 2019

'Things went overboard with skank hunt (cartman) we had to put an end to it, it was hard, neither did I or Stan wanted to do it. But they did, they ended Cartman, he just couldn't stop no matter how many times they warned him.

That fake act he was putting wasn't fooling anyone, it was painlessly ridiculous how pathetic he looked thinking he'd convince us.

Still, the guilt eats me alive.

Is this what it's called betrayal? Certainly. Did Cartman deserve it? Definitely.

So why do I care so much about that fat piece of shit?

Why does my heart ache thinking about what they did?'

March 23, 2019

'If anyone could hear me, if I could tell myself to not do it, if I could back track time I would go immediately. We were wrong, we took Cartman down for no reason.

It wasn't him, it's silently breaking my mind right now.

I feel like my heart broke in pieces after that revelation, I don't know for sure why. But fuck, I screwed up.

I feel like the dirt and ground I'm steeping in would fall beneath me, falling straight to an abyss.

Looking at Cartman was like a punch in the gut a wound being spread in to my chest as a knife poke out from inside. Being stabbed.

If I could've listened to him, if I believed him...

Pain, a aching sensation spreading in my body, the wound sting. It burned.

And I can't find myself forgiving myself anytime soon.

I cried today.'

He couldn't help himself but to pace a finger gently on to that page, remembering vividly those memories spread back in his mind, feeling immensely what he had felt those past times.

Reconnecting to his younger self.

He flipped through two pages already knowing the rest.

March 25, 2019

'Heidi Turner, a girl I just found out will be willingly capable of dating fatass.

I still can't believe it, it's impossible to grasp upon it. Who would want to date Cartman? In what world would that be possible? Clearly in this one.

Fuck, the images resurface my mind everytime I shut my eyes, Cartman holding Heidi's hand, him making some gay ass necklace for her, smiling wide to her. Beaming as he was the most happiest boy alive as if they didn't broke his shit not long ago.

My stomach revolts by the thought, by the damn memory. I feel nauseous even writing it down, right now I feel grossed out. I want to vomit-

All over Cartman, that piece of shit is asking for it, this is all his fault. Like usual.

I have other worries to deal with, why does fatass always does something to keep me off track of what's important?

Fuck him, and fuck this shitty skank hunt situation.

And fuck girls! Fuck them all!

Butters is right they don't need to try to fix the girls shit by degrading themselves, they needed to show them that they had enough and they've tried, but now they're standing up for themselves for what's right. Cause they're going overboard with their bitch attitude.

So I'm sticking to it.'

Flicking some further pages he 'tsk'.

April 19, 2019

'Do I like Heidi Turner?

Or is it because she's Cartman's girlfriend? She deserves better than to date a asshole, he is only gonna cause her pain.

I've thought I just wanted to prevent a tragedy, save her the damage he'll cause her eventually. But maybe the girls are right? Maybe I am kinda interested in her. She's cute and seems smart, the type of girl anyone could fall interested, no?

Cartman isn't happy with her, he bitches about her all the time. She doesn't deserve that.

He doesn't deserve to be that miserable either, technically, he is helping a friend out, right?

It's not like that relationship is going anywhere, Cartman should just dump that poor girl already.

I feel pity, but I also understand if it was easy to be manipulated from that douchbag. No one can understand Cartman the way I do, no one can see through his lies, posture, gestures, words even see the mischievous glint in his eyes everytime he thinks he could trick him.

I hope she now realizes it isn't a easy deal, kisses and praises won't change Cartman, I doubt anything will. But still, Heidi seems too naive to realize, considering the girls aren't really trying to put an end to her relationship with Cartman, I thought it'd be a good idea to intervene.

But maybe I was wrong? I didn't expect to develop some sorta crush on Heidi, now that I think about it, I don't.. really feel anything but sympathy for her.

But if the girls think that I may be attracted to her maybe they see something I just can't see yet.

Maybe I do like Heidi.'

He unintentionally shook his head, grasping the idiocy of his own denial mind.

April 23, 2019

'I 'fought' Cartman today, kinda. It was just a tiny punch in the face that knocked him out cold.

He was being a douche, couldn't just move on from Heidi. Just couldn't let go because maybe spite? Or maybe he just likes being able to degrade someone who he knew will still be stuck on to his bullshit with 'no' choice but to deal with. Someone who'll indulge him, praise him and naively expecting him to change. Even though they were being manipulated by him that very instant.

Still, I MAY feel a little bad.. for doing what I did.

It's more of a certainty to show what it REALLY is to be in a healthy relationship, and to make sure no one fell again into Cartman's manipulative lies.

Someone has to teach him a lesson, someone has to put that fat bastard in his place. Someone has to make him realize it's not worth chasing after a girl that isn't doing anything wrong but like him back. Someone he truly just doesn't like and just uses to pin his shit on to them, dragging them with him. Turning them in him.

It's like Cartman was self destroying himself even more as that relationship continued to build, and planned to just take Heidi with him as it falls down.

Cartman wasn't happy, he was bummed all the time, and his energy just seemed drained. I find it quite annoying, mostly when he bashes about it and saying it's because of Heidi yet he showed no mean on dumping her anytime soon.

Good to know he didn't have to, making it easy for him to just move on!

Pretty much she handed him a way out and he shoved it up his ass. Typical Cartman, can't let something go if it doesn't end his way, childishly whining and making a fit as it didn't go as planned.

Claiming he no longer wanted to deal with Heidi but now begged to have her back, that he 'needed' her to be happy when he fucking wasn't.

What class of miserable logic was that?

Oh, I am now also dating Heidi Turner.'

April 25, 2019

'My first date with Heidi was unexplainable, it didn't last at all. She ended things off the moment I was immediately ready to take her out for a nice evening.

I'm disappointed, I tried, I really did, but I underestimated Cartman's commitment and stubbornness.

She was too far lost in Cartman's lies, he isn't gonna stop her now. She chose this path might aswell stick with it.

I already had gotten in to it too much, I was even warned and I didn’t listen, now I’m paying the consequences for it.

I've gotten my heartbroken two times and my hopes have been dragged enough, I'm not gonna follow in to this mess any longer; just listen to my friends on doing nothing and let it be.

If they want to willingly destroy each other, I won't care, it's not my problem anymore.

He'll realize eventually how bad it is to continue tagging along something he's forcing himself to be stuck with, instead of just using his common senses and rationalize his choices.

Even though it'll probably take awhile for he to do so, probably even get his balls kicked while trying to pathetically deny that his 'happiness' relied on only some girl.

Fuck Cartman.'

November 26, 2019

‘Cartman recently got broken up, now it seems to be legitimate. It also seems he had no plans on trying to pursue her any longer, he seems to have gotten over it very quickly even looked relieved.

I could probably say that fat fuck learned his lesson.

Things have been getting normal lately, the usual, but I figured I should just put a end to this chapter as I can now say for sure Cartman had also put it to end.’

He continually flipped page after page, reading through other small memories to heartwarming one of his friends or family. Stopping in to another peculiar but fond one.

December 2, 2019

Things like these are not meant to be forgotten, I must write this down engraving the essence of it, barely baring the possibility of it even happening

I just.. unbelievable, it’s fucking unbelievable.

Might as well shoot me in the head cause my eyes and ears just witnessed something mythologic. Something surreal that shouldn’t had happened but has somewhat craved seeing.

Generosity, from no other but from Cartman.

Me being proud of the fatass would be a underestimate, I can't described in exact words how I felt at that moment but I'll try describing it as best as I can.

Today was typically leveraging, having to be put up with the adults of town do something absolutely bizarre (stupid), we had to deal with Randy so we were targeted separately as being 'trouble', we as children were being pinned the blame on, than to the actual culprit.

It pissed them off ofcourse but it wasn't no surprise for them that Randy had use that excuse for his own dismay.

Somehow Stan managed to get us out from the cell we were put in, so it wasn't also a surprise for us to finish off the hell fire Randy Marsh had spread.

Apparently they needed something of great value to stop the gigantic robot that destroyed buildings in a dramatic 'godzilla' manner. People screamed in terror as they ran until they felt they were capable of going to. And well us four were confused, we weren't like at a place to go back home and get something valuable. We were stuck and in a middle of a crisis.

At the moment we were gonna give up and surrender as we had nothing, Cartman spoke up saying 'I do' and took it out from his pocket while grumbling under his breath unheard words as he gave the scientist (who was helping us) a small golden ring he previously had bragged about to me and the gang 'ha-hahaha! I got gold and you don't! Hahaha-ha! You cant steal this from me Kahl I'll have it on me 24/7 you sneaky little rat!' In his annoying mockingly manner and his dumb little dance as he sang it in tune.

We were all left bewildered, I know by how I had glanced to the guys to see if what I saw was real, and their surprised expression confirmed it.

Cartman gave his most precious ring to save south park out of his own will and heart.

I thought it was some type of charade or something with double gain but it seemed he didn't planned on doing anything at the end of it, just leaving home and cursing us out for being 'lame'.

It was so dreamy seeing him do that, he looked amazing doing something good for once, adorably innocent, I think he noticed it wasn't 'normal' of his character so he covered it up with a 'I'm doing it for Stan cause I know deep down he still cares for his dumbass dad,' But even that left me in 'awe'.

Fucking unbelievable.'

He continued flipping through pages realizing it wasn't so far off for him to start developing a sorta thing for fatass. He looked at a scribbled down page from the top, the writing was place on the bottom as if he was rethinking his words and overly stressed about it as he had ripped down some previously pages before writing on this one.

He realized this was already in the period of the covid crisis.

August 22, 2020

'Today was worrisome, Stan was acting differently (stress) motivated on wanting to help Butters build a bear during our school lockdown.

Ofcourse that just lead problems and various kids die (including kenny) in the process as we had convinced everyone to help out, we weren't supposed to escape neither ran off in the neighborhood.

Hiding from the police as we broke in the build a bear shop, Stan desperately attempting to build a bear while we tried reasoning with him that it was impossible without an adult's help, while surrounded by police officers outside.

And then there was Cartman AGAIN leaving us bewildered as he gave up the pangolin pitying Stan, again, for Stan.

It was starting to be a sorta thing of his to be doing small acts of good being 'Stan' influenced, it was starting to bug me.

I told Stan off on the phone before bed; what was up with him and Cartman but he was left confused and I hanged up before he could say anything.

The fuck with those two?'

He flipped through those pages smiling incredulous realizing how dumb he was to not see his own jealous arising.

September 10, 2020

'I told Cartman off his bullshit but it's like he didn't get me at all, that piece of shit.

I had told him in a way that didn't expose my skepticism without ridiculing myself but also in a way that he'll understand instantly.

'What? Are you gonna go do something about it for your boyfriend?' I had told him.

We were discussing about continuing on heading downtown and hang out or follow through whatever Randy had gotten in to revolving his weed business as he had called pleading Stan to help him with something while we were already on the way.

Stan groaned annoyed hanging up pinching the bridge of his nose contemplating on doing his dad's request or not, Cartman chimed in shrugging it off saying 'maybe if we take a cab and go to the fist seven eleven we see; grab the cheapest lighter there is and just swoop in, give your dad the lighter. Probably expecting it to last a minute-' he kept blabbering some type of vengeful scheme while Stan grunted shoving his hands inside his pockets.

'I dunno man, I'm really tired of Mr. Marsh issues rubbing on us,' Kenny told the four expecting for us to continue the first plan we had in mind.

'Yeah, but if Stan-' Cartman tried speaking for Stan, and when I mean TRY, I meant I interrupted him.

'What? Are you gonna do something about it for your boyfriend?'

I saw how Cartman acted as if he didn't know what I meant, arching those thin brows of his and squinting his glinting eyes in 'confusion'.

It pissed me off some more.

But Stan intervene claiming he really didn't want to get involved in his dad's shit today so we left it there.

Was it too much? No. I think. I'm just tired of this dumb act of Cartman's but I'm also tired of Randy's charades like Kenny had stated, it's just too much.

And what's up with Stan not saying anything about it? Like, he's just shrugging off that Cartman has openly stated most of the time being 'him' the reason he does nice things.

That's not normal, I wouldn't just shrug it off if I we're Stan.

I.. I'm not sure exactly what would I do if it were ME he'd do those nice things for, but I know I wouldn't ignore it. I'd probably ask for an explanation or something, fuck, maybe even see his limits, push him through exposing those good layers in him, analyzing his every movements, gestures, words, see if I could captivate some lie or genuine act.

Fuck, I wish I were Stan.'

Flipping through more pages, he recalled many other questionable moments between him and Cartman but this one stole the take.

July 9, 2022

'It was a blissful and snowy day, and Cartman couldn't stop nagging about me not getting him a birthday present.

In reality, I didn't give him a present cause I really didn't know what to give him (he isn't really easy to please when it comes from me.) So I justified myself saying he didn't deserve it and 'why would I want to give anything to someone who's a egocentric selfish piece of shit?', which isn't entirely untrue either.

In all honesty I was already getting tired of Cartman's nagging so I decided to go to Walmart and purchase some pizza rolls and call it even.

But, I just couldn't help myself but to eye a nice ceramic shiny white tea set that was placed in display. I remembered how Cartman has always had a thing for that type of stuff, he loves tea and also loves to do tea parties (which was very embarrassing) but nonetheless was something I knew he liked and I just remembered how Cartman still kept his old tea set in use, he was probably not capable on just buying a new one.

That was the perfect damn present, okay? I didn't have a choice.

It wasn't too much of me to go into a competition of pottery crazy lovers and compete for some limited edition tea set made from some old japanese master they idolized as some god, just for Cartman.

Okay, I may had done a little too much effort, but I was determined on not losing against a bunch of geeks, alright? NOT just Cartman.

I limped tirelessly twoards Cartman's door step with a tea set in hands, knocked clumsy trying to not fall in the ground by my wobbly legs.

And just shoved it in Cartman's arms as he opened the door with pj's on, declaring it was already late at night when I had finished that whole ordeal.

'You better not break it fatass.'

And I left, hoping Cartman would stop complaining of my absent present once and for all.'

He smiled knowingly he did. Tracing with his finger a couple of scribbles down at the end edge were he remembered he tried venting out his feelings with out actually really ripping off the page he wrote just cause he was angrily embarrassed to admit how much he WANTED to get that tea set for Cartman.

How he knew it'll make him happy. How he'll love it.

And worse part of it all, he was right. Cartman loved it and he really didn't know what to feel everytime they'd go to his house and he’d see the set place in his table, so neatly place it looked intentional.

Prev

[captainren1st]

I don't know what this is, lol. I was bored. Open to criticisms and comments.

TW: Not proofread, angsty, death, mentions of cheating. (Does that belong here? Idk). First post, reblogs are appreciated! <3

Helpful info:

-- The female

--- The male

- The asshole 😒

"HOW COULD YOU?" he cried, "HOW LONG HAS THIS BEEN GOING ON? I THOUGHT... I thought.... you were mine..."

-- looked at him. --- on his knees, crying his heart out because the one he loved with all his heart had another.

"---, love, please listen to me..." -- tried to explain, but was cut off.

"how long has this been going on...?" The pitiful man asked his lover. She just held herself and cried softly. "HOW LONG --?"

"6 years...." she whispered out."

He looked at his love, '6... 6 years...?'

"Please, ---..."

"so while I was away, you were here sleeping with another man...? I was doing it for our family, for us..." --- lost it, screaming and crying even harder now. "DAMMIT! WHY! WHY! why..... did i even mean anything to you? was it just a joke, yes, that's what it must be! Some cruel joke..." he said, laughing to himself

"Love no" she walked closer to ---

He smacked her hand away, "don't touch me, whore"

She back up, fozen. After a while she turned around and went to the kitchen to continue making dinner. She picked up the knife and started to chop the vegetables, stopping for a second to look out the window, only to close her eyes and smile sadly. "I'm making soup for dinner love, it'll be ready soon"

He looked up at his wife, her eyes closed, smiling like the whole never happened. "What..?"

"Dinner will be ready soon love, go sit at the table."

"Are you serious?" He asked, getting up to walk towards her, "Are you seriously going to contuine making dinner like NOTHING happened?"

She just nodded, "There's no point in me continuing this argument," she stoppped cutting and looked at ---, "I want my last memories with you to be happy ones, not of us fighting love"

He slammed his hand on the counter, not giving what -- had said much thought, "why did you do it?" He whispered

She hesitated, looking out the window once more. She sighed putting the knife down and cupping ---'s face, "For you, my love" -- kissed his nose, pushing him away when she finished.

He fell to the ground, landing on his ass. "What are you talking about?" He asked angerly

"I did it to protect you love." She backed up, "Everytime I dared to tell, he'd know. - would send me pictures of you in the battlefield with a caption like 'tell anyone and my men will blow off his head'," --started crying, "I hope in our next life you can forgive me, ---." Only then did he realize the little red dot on her head, "I forgive you..." was the last thing she said before a bullet ran through her head.

"--!!" --- ran to catch her, looking out the window for a brief moment to see a black suv speeding off. "--, honey, love, please... I'm sorry.. I'm so so sorry..." --- held -- in his arms, crying softly. "I love you.. each life I have, I will always love you..." he said, taking an arm from beneath his wife and reaching on the counter for the knife. Once he found it, he picked it up and drove the knife through his chest, "I hope.... I'm more under...standing in our next..... life...." he pulled the knife out and cradled his wife until he died, hoping to meet her again sometime soon.