#anyways if you read all this thank you. I love you and you deserve all the love in the world and many many lollipops <3< /div>
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WE DESERVE A SOFT EPILOGUE, MY LOVE.
pairing: vi x firelight!reader word count: 2k summary: after years of thinking her dead, ekko brings vi to the firelight base. you don't really know how to react when the girl you grew up loving is now a woman you know nothing about and still, somehow, feel everything for. warnings: arcane level angst + lesbian yearning. reader is referred to with she/her pronouns. reader has tattoos and a star-shaped birthmark behind her ear (y'all know vi loves a nickname and i thought 'stargirl' was v cute so i had to make it work). fic gets slightly suggestive at the end ;) author's note: happy act iii release day!!! i wrote this instead of working on my thesis oops. in my defense, vi has sparked something in me that i simply cannot ignore. i'm also working on a werewolf! pitfighter!vi x vampire slayer!reader fic (set in the same universe, just with a slight twist) sooo that might be done before part 2 of this fic (which is where the smut happens hehe). anyways, thank you for reading!
inspired by that quote: "i think we deserve a soft epilogue, my love. we are good people and we've suffered enough" by nikka ursula
even after all these years, vi is still the first one to notice you.
her eyes widen as she hesitates to pull away from ekko, but you clear your throat to catch both of their attentions.
“i thought we were gonna question her together.”
ekko wipes a stray tear from his cheek and stands up a little straighter.
“you were taking too long,” he shrugs. “don’t worry — she’s clean.”
you trust ekko’s judgement, but you still can’t reckon with the fact that vi is alive. you’d splashed cold water on your face just before to make sure you weren’t dreaming.
“i don’t know.” you walk closer until you’re standing arms length from vi. “the vi i knew wouldn’t be caught dead with a topsider, let alone an enforcer.”
you examine her carefully, and you imagine she’s doing the same to you. vi looks more grown up — stronger and sharper. you’d spent so much time in limbo, not knowing if she were alive or dead. you aren’t sure how to react when the girl you grew up loving is now a woman you know nothing about and still, somehow, feel everything for.
“i guess the shoddy undercut is a pretty clear give away,” you deadpan.
vi quirks an eyebrow at you. “shoddy, huh? you know, your tattoos look like they were drawn by blindfolded children.”
she smiles, all bright and toothy. the scar on her upper lip stretches, achingly familiar, and you decide there’s nothing you want to do more than to bring her into your arms, to bring her closer, so you do.
her hair tickles your cheek as you whisper:
“i did those tattoos myself.”
vi chuckles, and you feel it vibrate across her body to yours.
“i know. they’re beautiful.” her index finger traces the star-shaped birthmark behind your ear; you shiver. “i was just messing with you, stargirl.”
vi was the only one who ever called you that, said you made her life brighter or some other sweet nothing that would effortlessly fall from her mouth.
gods, she was the first one who even noticed that birthmark on your skin.
“i was messing with you, too. the hair — you look hot.”
you feel her heart beating faster against your chest as she smiles into your shoulder.
she’s here.
she’s not some ghost from your past.
she’s really here.
you’re so overwhelmed by how solid she is against you that you start to pull away, but vi catches your hand before you can fully untangle yourself from her.
“that’s all i get?” she wonders, licking her lips.
you’re tempted, very tempted, to give her more. maybe you would have, until ekko clears his throat behind you.
“should i….give y’all a moment?” ekko asks. “i’ll go get the piltie.”
you then remember who vi came here with; she might not be working for silco, but you stand by your suspicions at her bringing a topsider to the lanes.
you slip your hand from hers. you roll your shoulders back as if that would really shake away the hold she’s always had on you.
time has passed. things have changed. neither of you are kids anymore, and you don't have the luxury of indulging in a frivolous crush.
“sure thing, e. let’s show them around.”
“still a night owl, i see.”
vi finds you perched on one of the trees highest branches, surrounded by firelights as you sketch something. you close your sketchbook instantly and place it on the other side of you when vi sits down.
“thought you’d be in bed with that enforcer of yours.”
“her name’s caitlyn.”
“caitlyn,” you scoff, shaking your head.
the bitterness you try to hide is all too transparent to vi, who has to bite back a laugh at your pettiness.
“you say her name like you’re gonna hex her. never pegged you as a jealous ex.”
“technically, we never broke up,” you point out.
a firelight lands on your hand, and you let it crawl up the lines etched on your skin.
“if that’s the case, i owe you an apology for cheating on you when i was in prison.”
you frown, but say nothing, your eyes following that same firelight as it illuminates your tattoos.
“don’t worry, i’m kidding!” vi pauses. “mostly.”
the firelight flies away, and you huff out an annoyed breath.
“whatever. i don’t care who you’ve fucked, or who you’re fucking. and, you don’t owe me anything. it’s not like we’re anything to each other, anymore.”
vi sucks in a sharp breath — she wouldn’t have expected such harsh words from you.
“is that why you can’t even look at me?” she finally asks.
you’d been strictly business since you first reunited hours ago. you expertly distanced yourself from vi all throughout the tour of the firelights’ base, and throughout dinner, too.
where’s the girl she’d spend hours goofing around with, who always had a witty response to her sarcastic remarks, who smiled at her in such a way that made her chest glow? where’s the girl who brightened vi’s life when it seemed like the darkness would never leave?
you press your knees to your chest and curl into yourself. vi notices then — the slump of your shoulders, the shadows beneath your eyes, and just how deeply exhausted you must feel, down to your bones.
“i don’t know,” you sigh. “part of me still can’t believe you’re alive. i know that i should be happy that you are, but i keep thinking about everything i could have done to protect you, and powder —”
“hey. it’s my job to worry about everyone, remember?”
“you weren’t here.”
“i am now.”
she gently moves your chin so that you face her, so that you can see that she’s not going anywhere, at least for tonight.
which is probably more time than either of you thought you’d ever have together again.
vi notices how your eyes flick down to her lips and back up, and she feels something spark in her chest. but then, you shake your head as though trying to wake up from a dream and turn away once more.
“that enforcer of yours —”
“she’s not my —”
“whoever she is, she talked about how we all need to heal. i just keep thinking about what you’ve been through, what we’ve all been through…. how it never really stops. healing would be nice, but it’s hard when you have to keep fighting every day. you remember what ekko said, about why we chose this place?”
of course, she remembers.
“that if even a seed can survive down here, maybe we could, too.”
“we. who’s ‘we,’ vi?” you laugh, but there’s no joy behind it. “we’ve gotten used to surviving without each other. maybe it was meant to be that way.”
“that’s not fair.”
“a lot of things aren’t fair.” you gesture around at the base. “this — this community — took blood, sweat, and tears to build and i just know how easy it would be for someone to destroy it all. which is why we fight, obviously, to protect all this and each other, but i’m scared that we can only do so for so long before we burn out.” you let out a shuddery breath. “is it even all worth it?”
vi swallows the tears building in her throat. you had always been the hopeful one, and it makes vi’s chest ache to think about what you must have endured to lose the brightness that had been woven into your being.
that's part of what got her through these past few years, and there's no way she's going to let it fade.
“i....i think so,” vi starts, trying to find it within her to be inspirational. “maybe it'll make a difference in the long run, even if we don’t see that now. and that someone, someday in the future, will be able to not just survive, but live in a better world.”
you raise an eyebrow at her, and vi swears there's a slight smile on your face.
"what?" she asks, her cheeks heating up.
"i'm just...surprised. how is it possible that prison made you less cynical?”
there's a glimmer to your eyes that wasn't there before, something playful, and vi decides to lean into it.
"oh, it wasn't prison," vi says, nudging her shoulder against hers. "see, i ran into this pretty girl from my past and she's this totally badass freedom fighter now, so i think there's some hope in the world."
you snort. "good to know you're still an unbearable flirt."
"i thought you loved that about me."
you laugh, a sparkling sound that vi wishes she could carry with her wherever she goes. it’s contagious, too, and vi finds herself giggling along with you. when it dies down, you rest your head on her shoulder, something you did even back when you were only friends.
“i missed you,” she admits.
“yeah?” your voice is softer than a whisper.
you lift your head and vi cradles your face in her hands.
vi nods. “so fucking much, and i want to prove it. if you’ll let me. please.”
“vi,” you exhale. she’s so close now that she can feel you breathing against her lips. “i can’t. you’re with that enforcer.”
“we’re not together,” vi assures, bumping her nose against yours.
she leans in ever so closely to kiss you, but you move away.
“you’re still with her, though, and you’re leaving in the morning,” you continue. “things are already so….complicated. i just don’t think we should start something we won’t be able to finish.”
with nothing more to say, you gather your sketchbook and pencils. vi’s sure that you’re not going to bed, just off to nestle into another hiding spot for the night, away from her.
maybe you’re still putting up a cold front, protecting yourself because that’s how you've been surviving in this world where the risk of losing everything lingers, and only gets heavier as you grow older.
but, gods, vi really has missed you, the you she remembers so vividly, the you that shone through just moments ago. she knows that glowing heart of yours is hardened by layers of ice, and she’s determined to make them all melt away.
vi gets up and calls after you:
“haven’t we already?”
you stop in your tracks. you slowly turn around to back at her.
a moment passes, maybe more. the two of you suspended in time. your eyes are telling her a million different things – you’re confused, you’re scared, you’re tempted, you’re tired – and all vi can do is blink back more tears because it’s true, how your story together never got the happy ending you deserved.
“please, y/n. if this is our second chance, even just for a night —”
she’s cut off by you crashing your lips against hers.
the two of you were young, really, just girls when you first kissed. it was awkward and messy and though it ignited something in the pit of vi’s stomach, it was nothing compared to this.
she lets you guide her as you please, lets you press your body against hers against the trunk of the tree. she lets your lips mold into hers until her lungs are burning.
your chest is heaving as you pull away slightly; vi bites back a whine. air isn’t what she needs, she’s sure of it. what she really needs is more of you.
you study her like she might not be real, like she might not really be here.
but she is. your thumb wipes away a fallen tear, across the tattoo on her cheek.
“you’re so beautiful.”
“yeah, i know. they should build statues of me,” she smirks, although she could have swooned right then and there. you’re the only person she can recall calling her beautiful.
sexy? oh, yeah. charming? definitely. hot? often.
no one else calls her beautiful, though, let alone makes her feel like it the way you do.
“bad at flirting and full of yourself," you tease. "some things really don't change."
vi's laughter is cut short by you trailing your mouth down her neck. when your teeth reach her pulse point, vi gets a glimpse of something over your shoulder.
“guess you missed me too, huh?”
she gestures with her chin, which she instantly regrets as you pull away to follow her gaze, looking at the drawings of her from your fallen sketchbook.
“you weren’t supposed to see those,” you huff. it's hot, how flustered you get.
she tugs on one of your belt loops to bring you flush against her hips, bringing you back to her. vi presses her thigh between your legs, relishing in how your mouth opens in a perfect gasp.
“like i said, baby: i missed you. 'cept i'm not talented like you, so my creative imagination had to carry me through some long nights."
“is that so….” your hand slips underneath her tank top, and you manage to pull a groan from vi by scratching your nails against her skin. “maybe you can clue me in to what, exactly, you’ve imagined.”
vi smirks again. she places a kiss on your birthmark before whispering in your ear:
“sure thing, stargirl.”
#vi x reader#arcane x reader#vi arcane x reader#vi arcane#arcane#vi#vi league of legends#saf writes#arcane season 2
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ᡣ𐭩 Emails I Can't Send Prompts ᡣ𐭩
from the album Emails I Can't Send, by Sabrina Carpenter
"And I still make excuses for you constantly."
"Sorry that I pulled the 'it's not you, it's me.'"
"You're not my friend, and baby, you never were."
"It's times like these I wish I had a time machine."
"Whatever, you're a waste of time."
"I can't myself when you get close to me."
“Oh, so you do have a type."
"Where else can we go?"
"I hate the way you left me dry."
"Give me a second to forget I ever really meant it."
"Don't say sorry now."
"One day, I'll make sure you get a real apology."
"I tried to look for the best in the worst."
"Oh, so you can reply."
"I'm so tired."
"You want me? I'm done."
"I wonder how many things you think about before you get to me."
"You're lucky I'm a private person."
"I'm over that son of a bitch."
"Don't make me cuss you out."
"You're so vicious."
"Nobody gets my jokes, everyone here thinks I'm fucking rude."
"Why were you somewhere else when you were next to me?"
"I can't help it, it's a habit."
"You act like a bitch."
"I never saw him and we never kissed."
"There's nothing left here to decode."
"Were you lying to me and the family?"
"If you wanted brown eyes, I could have got contacts."
"You don't feel remorse."
"That never made too much sense to me."
"I can't read your mind."
"Why'd you let me down?"
"You knew I would see that."
"Looking at you got me thinking nonsense."
"Bet you wanna love me now."
"How do you do this to me?"
"Tell me what's gonna happen."
"You knew I would notice."
"I'll drive you home."
"I don't even know, I'm talking nonsense."
"I want you there sometimes."
"She looks nothing like me."
"Your signals are mixed."
"Everything reminds me of you."
"I know you know it keeps me up."
"You drive me crazy."
"Chase me."
"Did you even give a fuck?"
"You disgust me."
"Now I'm a homewrecker. I'm a slut."
"Tell me I was more than just a decent opportunity."
"Why do you look so happy?"
"I'm so sorry for your loss."
"Thanks to you, I can't love right."
"I know now even if I tried to change that somehow, you'd end up with her anyway."
"You fit every stereotype."
"Does she step out of the spotlight so you bathe in it?"
"Now I can't even look at you."
"You said I'm too late to be your first love, but I'll always be your favorite."
"I know what you're about to say."
"Does she get up on top of you more than I would?"
"He had it coming."
"I deserve my own consideration."
"I look up from my phone and think there's no chance it's you, but it is."
"He's good for my heart, but he's bad for business."
"I've got death threats filling up semi trucks."
"How am I supposed to close the door when I still need the closure?"
"All my friends think I've gone crazy."
"I care, but I don't."
"Please fucking fix this."
"Tell me that you miss me in your life."
"It feels so good not caring where you are tonight."
"You were all I looked up to."
"Was I being lied to?"
"I got ways to find you anywhere."
"You miss me? No duh."
"Maybe we should do this on purpose sometime."
"It was all so innocent."
"What the fuck is patience?"
"I can't even stomach loving someone else."
"God, I love you, but you're such a dipshit."
"You're good at impersonating someone who cares."
"I bet your house is where my other sock is."
#feel free to change the pronouns!#sabrina carpenter#emails i can't send#song prompts#lyric prompts#love prompts#breakup prompts#angst prompts
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Since I read Anthony talking to Neddy before sleep I can't stop imagining how it will be the first time Anthony tucks him to bed! 🥹
I think the first time Anthony stays late enough to see Neddy to bed he thought he’d just watch Kate do it. He loves watching Kate with Neddy anyway so it’s not like this is a burden really.
He watches her get Neddy ready for bed. Watches him get into his dinosaur pyjamas, watches Kate say side to side while heating milk on the stove for Neddy while he hugs her from the side, already singing him a lullaby. He watches Neddy settle into bed and Kate sit on his bed beside him which her arm around him and her chin resting on the top of his head as she reads him a story.
And then Neddy looks up at him, “Now my Anthony?”
Kate smiled encouragingly at Anthony as he stumbled forward, picking one of the books off the bookshelf that he remembered liking when he’d been a little boy. He sat on the other side of Neddy from Kate, feeling a Little awkward until Neddy nestled closer to him, sighing contentedly.
“I like this one.”
“I like this one too.” Anthony said gently, “Here we go.”
“I love you, Neddy.” Kate said gently when they slid off his bed, Neddy’s eyes already drooping as she kissed the top of his head.
“Love you Amma.”
“I love you as well, Neddy. Daddy loves you.” It’s the first time he’s told Neddy that and Anthony’s chest feels tight as Neddy nods sleepily.
“Love you too.”
“You need a drink.” Kate hummed as she closed the door behind them, already making her way to the kitchen. “You survived bed time, you deserve it.”
“I didn’t know one kid could want to hear Hairy Maclary so many times.”
“Eh, it’s a crowd pleaser.”
“We should add a Newton page in.” Anthony cleared his throat. “My brother Ben is pretty talented. He could match the artwork. It would surprise Neddy, he’d like it.”
Kate tilted her head as she stared at him. Almost as though she were seeing him for the first time, “You’re… really good at being a dad.”
“Thanks.” He tried to brush it off but it meant more to him than he could say.
“I mean it, Ant. I couldn’t have asked for a better co-parent. Glad my uterus got confused around you.”
“Me too? Not sure if that’s the right sentiment.”
Kate smirked, plucking two wine glasses off the shelf, “She was going and confused, I try to cut her some slack. You were very pretty after all.”
“Always happy to be a crowd pleaser myself.”
#surprise neddy au#kathony#anthony x kate#kate sharma#kate sheffield#anthony bridgerton#molly’s asks and answers
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The Dobrynin family is a corpo family through and through, rooted in Arasaka and Orbital Air going back by several generations; though their powerful position within the corporate world ends with the children of Nadya and Matvey Dobrynin. With Vitali and Daniil fired from Arasaka and Kang Tao respectively— the former indirectly getting his parents fired, too— and Roksana having refused to set foot within a megacorporation from the start, the family begins crumbling apart at the very seams when clashing interests lead to grudges, betrayal, and pointless acts of revenge. ↳ read the unrevised fic here if you're interested!
taglist (opt in/out)
@shellibisshe, @florbelles, @ncytiri, @roseeway, @stars-of-the-heart;
@lestatlioncunt, @katsigian, @radioactiveshitstorm, @estevnys, @adelaidedrubman;
@celticwoman, @rindemption, @carlosoliveiraa, @noirapocalypto, @dickytwister;
@killerspinal, @euryalex, @ri-a-rose, @velocitic, @thedeadthree;
@kanos, @swordcoasts, @ordinarymaine, @claudiawolf, @strafethesesinners
#cp2077#edit:daniil#edit:matvey#edit:nadya#edit:roksana#edit:vitali#nuclearocs#nuclearedits#the fic has a proper title now thank you everyone who voted in that poll ^_^ i'm very excited to start working on a rewrite!!#it's gonna be a lot bigger because i'm going to be including chunks of previous events that take place between in-game and this fic#all in flashbacks. so like. vitali's death and how he stabs mikhail while brainwashed and how he snaps out of it#and the fight they have later on. because all of those events are key moments referenced in the fic#but they're not explicitly mentioned because past me went with the assumption people had already read those fics#so i just described the events if that makes sense. but if i want this to work on its own i NEED to include them#anyway. night city's most dysfunctional family fr i have so much to say about them but i'll keep it brief for now#nadya and daniil have nadya's last name because matvey and nadya end up getting divorced#initially roksana also gets her mother's last name but she changes it back sometime later#because she doesn't want to be associated with her mother anymore#daniil's stats are very bad because he's a useless loser sorry for everyone who took a liking to him. he doesn't deserve your love#the word count still makes me :0!! also because like. i did that... i wrote that...#also made this template myself so i don't have a link for it sorry :( and also i made it in firealpaca and not ps#anyway yes very excited to see what you guys think of this and also if you have any questions feel free to shoot me asks!!
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gosh I need to draw the 2al boys in clothes more often-
This includes but is not limited too:
sprouts knee brace
poptart wrist brace (something new I want to try?)
sprout in more button up shirts
poptart in more pants... cargo pants and kackies me thinks
sprout wearing anything but jorts-
does a sprout on sprouts head count as clothes?
in general draw the masks more often
I NEED TO REMEMBER SPROUT HAS A MISSION FIT
poncho poptart poncho poptart poncho poptart
poptart clothes where the sleeve is sewn off or buttoned up or.... something
viking fits viking fits viking fits
#also im still drowning in irl work#once again sorry for the lack of comic updates but hey!#well deserved break#dont think imma get back into the groove till mid may-#nonsense#love yall btw thanks for sticking around my blog and reading tag notes <3#you all keep me going!#anyways ngl. whenever I draw them in clothes I MIGGHTTTT just pretend their hump back shells no longer exist#or draw them from an angle where you cant see the hump backs
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Writing for me atm be like this:
and this
and also this
Oh and can't forget this!
Yeah writing has been going great recently......
#beckyu speaks#beckyu memes#beckyu snippets#brooooo me and writing atm been so weird lol#It's on and off writing sessions and I keep changing my mind on stuff lol#I also am starting to feel like it's been too long since I posted something which is starting to annoy me even though it shouldn't but like#also no? UGH it's hard to explain! Right now jornos kinda on like the back burner again because I really want to finish that chapter fic an#start posting it. But I don't to until it's finished but everytime I go back to work on the ending#I add like 100-500 new words a chapter and then the stuff I add I have to check makes sense for future chapters too and like I love that it#improves the fics quality but also I just wanna finish it! Curse my perfectionist needs writing this!#anyways if you read all this thank you. I love you and you deserve all the love in the world and many many lollipops <3
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who up praying for downfalls 🤨
#mine#yandere#yancore#yandere vent#oh my god have i got some things to say. ooohhuuoouugh buddy#its not even my own situation this isnt even related to me. but im being a nice upstanding young man and venting abt it instead of invoking#the curse of ra. wishing someone dies is such a good coping mechanism fr because instead of thinking about it forever i can move on with#my life. and its great! but oouuuh theres something wrong with that huh. and oh my god. this issue is so fucked but i cant explain it in#a heartfelt and meaningful way. so imagine someone is religiously devoted to a guy and their mental anguish stems from jealousy or fear#of abandonment. and they are internally tormented about that forever. and just because they dont fit your definition of whats right#youre all like Hey you know that guy that means everything to them. how about we take him for ourselves solely bc this person#this suffering person whose life depends on him- who acts like that BECAUSE they are suffering- you think they deserved to be punished for#their traumas? their guilt and pain and anguish? you are no better than whatever you think they are.#i dont think this even makes sense cause im vague on purpose. this sounds like a situation from the bible i think#idk i didnt read it. anyways im skipping and frolicking in my cradle of hatred that fills me with warmth and delight#its not required that people are nice or respectful when their lives have been wretched thanks to people like YOU#but i hope their devotion never wavers due to people who hate their happiness. its not like those people matter anyway#if youre meant to be with your Guy and you love him enough then nothing else matters at that point. its all a test#die a martyr for your own romantic ideologies or whatever satou matsuzaka said#this is literally the equivalent of like. a mother cat adopts a kitten that isnt hers bc her own kin are all dead. she protects this kitten#with her entire life. and her whole being. and hisses growls bites at anyone that comes close to it. and some human teens are like#we should take that kitten solely because the mother cat loves it so much that shes willing to get violent for it.#because its not very niceys of her to harass those who want to take away the only thing she has left! oh noes!!#like shut the fuck up dawg. if that cat mauls someone for getting too close to her baby then mind your own goddamn business#clearly they did not grow up italian 💀#clearly they did not grow up with nothing being their own. nothing being sacred. no desire to protect anything#anyways yanderes i love you. you are fr so easy to be around and you should never change for anyone. i mean maybe take some therapist#advice here and there in case your devotion makes you suffer but OTHERWISE!!! dont feel bad about being a hater!!! protect what is yours#and i will respect it so hard i swear to god. its not that difficult to treat your devotion with the kindness it deserves.#if a disrespectful teen tries to steal your kitten then ill help you beat them to death with a shovel idc
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ok guys its not funny anymore when is d&p hard lauching im starting to getting anxious /hj
#this is mostly in jest bc idk if they will and im okay with that they do what they feel comfortable and their life is none of my business#but if they plan to. can they do it faster. had a moment rewatching BIG where it got to me... wow... theyve had something REALLY special#for 15 years huh. dan is finally living his truth and a life happier than before but during this journey he had phil at a such important#point of his life. they endured so much. and probably fucked up in between bc we humans arent perfect and thats ok we make mistakes even if#they might hurt the person we love but hey. they persevered and now are thriving even more than before#and i got so emotional like... dudes... i want to tell you both thru the means where is possible for me that im so proud and so happy#for you both and you work and your journey and for experiencing pure queer joy that all queer people deserve#BUT LIKE AS MUCH AS ALL OF IT IS OBVIOUS AND SERIOUSLY DONT EVEN NEED A VERBAL CONFIRMATION ITS CLEARLY AS ITS PRESENTED#IDK I FEEL LIKE THEY HARDLAUNCHING WOULD GIVE LIKE. A SENSE OF PERMISSION FOR ME.#LIKE HEY WERE CHOOSING OURSELVES TO TELL YOU THIS INFORMATION ABOUT OUR PRIVATE LIFE#AND NOW YOURE FREE TO TALK ABOUT IT BECAUSE WE WANT TO HAVE A UPPERHAND ON THIS ON OUR PARASOCIAL RELATIONSHIP#SO ITS A BOUNDARY FOR US AND FOR YOU#AND ILL BE LIKE THANK YOU FOR THE PERMISSION. SO HAPPY FOR YOU MARRIAGE OF 15 YEARS#idk guys im weird i genuinely just like to treat celebrities like theyre just another human being i find while i go on about my day#it even took me a while to read phan rpf fics not bc i thought it was like OOOO PROBLEMATIQUE but bc i felt genuinely guilty even tho i#joined the phan bandwagon back in the day#i only let myself joke nowadays bc theyre more open and comfortable with it and such so like... i allowed myself for that and the jokes#but still. o|-< i get embarassed sometimes just bc theyve not publicaly disclosed what ARE they NOW (outside of all the soulmate metaphors)#its not a them problem tho its a me problem im too empathic for no reason#ANYWAYS SORRY FOR YAPPING ON THE TAGS CAN YOU TELL I MANAGED TO BUY MY ADHD MEDS AGAIN#j.txt
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“IT’S OKAY HUMAN! YOU HAVE BEEN SO BUSY FACING NEW CHALLENGES AND OVERCOMING DIFFICULTIES. THERE WERE SO MANY OPPORTUNITIES TO GIVE UP OR NOT TRY BUT YOU PERSISTED AND STAYED DETERMINED. LOOK AT WHAT YOU HAVE ACCOMPLISHED! DON’T JUST BRUSH IT UNDER THE RUG, SILLY HUMAN. EVEN THE LITTLE THINGS WERE STEPS TOWARDS BIGGER THINGS AND YOU SOMETIMES EVEN MANAGED TO MAKE GRAND LEAPS FORWARD, IT LOOKED REALLY COOL WHEN YOU DID THAT, NYEH HEH HEH! SO PLEASE, REMEMBER TO ACKNOWLEDGE YOU ARE MAKING PROGRESS. YOU HAVE BEEN SO STRONG IN WAYS THAT MAY NOT SEEM OBVIOUS BUT CAN BE IN THE MOST IMPORTANT WAYS. CAN’T YOU SEE WHAT I SEE? SEE WHY I AM SO PROUD OF YOU?”
Sometimes I get really sad that my spark of creativity has left me again. I know it will come back and it may be in a different form or medium but still, I miss it. Haven’t been able to enjoy Undertale or the fandom like I used to, makes me feel like I’ve abandoned something I cherished so deeply. All of it still holds a special place in my heart, I just can’t access the same passion I used to have. Though, I can’t help but get a little emotional imagining what Papyrus would say if I apologized for being gone for so long and that it still might be a while until I return.
#vent#my art#papyrus#uuuggghhhh listening to undertale music while I write this is just getting me more emotional#dangit papyrus why you gotta help me see myself in a better light dangit#the other day i saw a post about how self shipping was a form of loving yourself and UGGGGH#that hit me right in the heart because… wow… man… i never looked it at that way and i guess yeah…#i want to see myself the way i imagine papyrus would#its like something doesnt allow that when its just me. my self doubt would creep in… drowning out the positive thoughts#then i just shift. i escape into fantasy and imagine a happiness i think is impossible#to be seen and loved and its funny how a shift in perspective can let you imagine that possiblity#the possibility that you are lovable. that you are wonderful. capable. strong. kind. so full of potential.#Others could possibly say this but it just hits home how very important it is that I see these qualities in myself.#That I learn to love myself and acknowledge all the good that there is on my own#anyways… for anyone still reading. Thank you for hearing me out#Remember you are deserving of love. Always. And I hope you can see all the wonderful things about yourself that there is to appreciate
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the new all the kings horses is so good!! my jaw dropped when he switched back to thinking of him as matthew instead of matty because thats what he called him earlier when he didn't trust him. i feel so bad for matty though 😭😭😭
AHHH thank you so much for reading! I hope it was worth the wait and I apologize again for taking so long to post it. My body was being very rude and falling apart on me. Thankfully I think I'm better now (even though I did accidentally set my alarm last night for 4:30PM instead of 4:30AM so I was rather late for my 6am riding lesson lol)
Poor Fictional!Matty is really going through it. He thought he was giving Fictional!George space because that's what HE likes / wants when he is injured/unwell and also is absolutely shitting himself that he is now expected to travel and go to all these horse shows this summer. That's not what he signed on to do, he hasn't shown properly in YEARS and he basically got ran out of the sport before. And now Fictional!George is accusing him of stealing medication?! (He didn't by the way) and also for setting him up to steal his rides on the horses (also did not do)?! Like he thought Fictional!George loved him and he was thinking maybe he loved Fictional!George as well and instead he has somehow managed to get his heart broken standing in the aisle way at his place of employment.
AHH I'm so glad you noticed that bit about calling him "Matty" vs "Matthew" it was a switch that I know people noticed but didn't comment on when it first happened and I was so excited for it to flip back to "Matthew" when things went south. If you can believe it though, the outlined version of this chapter was set to be even more devastating but then I back tracked a little and was like "Ally chill." Thank you so much for reading and for the continued support! I hope you continue to enjoy this fic and that you are having a wonderful Wednesday and a fantastic rest of your week!
❤️Ally
#allylikethecat#ask ally#anon ask#keep it kind#fanfiction#gatty#fanfic#matty fic#all the king's horses#equestrian au#atkh#thank you so much for reading!!#im sorry again for missing the friday update and then this ended up being a tuesday update#also from my quick glances at social media today i feel like this fandom is currently on fire?#anyway imma be here in my lane doing my thing because at this point i care more about my fictional versions of the boys than the real ones#now the real question is#do we want fictional!Matty and fictional!george to get back together#or does fictional!Matty deserve better (ex. someone who wont flip on him so easily)#fictional!georges obsession always teetered on the edge of love vs hate and idk how healthy it is / was...
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Enough time has passed now, so I can finally say with certainty that the only good MLs of the Jewelpet Series are Akira Nanase and Retsu Akagi 👍🏻
#jewelpet#jewelpet twinkle#jewelpet sunshine#jewelpet kira deco#jewelpet happiness#lady jewelpet#magical girls#txt#like— be so for fcking real????#all the ‘mls’ in there are like ‘i will always save you!’ meanwhile akira and retsu are like ‘i would k word for you’#AND THIS IS WHAT’S A MAN SHOULD BE ABOUT WHEN IT COMES TO HIS GIRLIE MIND YOU????#also yeah they’re all like… kids in there so IDK why sanrio put love interests for elementary/middle school kids 😭#but some mls (coff coff yuuma and mikage coff coff) just piss me tf off 💀#then again in jewelpet sunshine all the peoples are ANNOYING af because like… kanon… sweetie… WHY ARE YOU BEEFING WITH A BUNNY???? 😭#idk guys… maybe it’s cuz i’ve seen many shoujo anime read many shoujo manga and want my man obsessed with me like— i want him WEAK for me…#the other mls in the jewelpet series sometimes i think like ‘what… are you there… for??’#akira nanase PISSES ME TF OFF his personality is SHIT but the way he goes on about rinko??? he is a SIMP and i love that#and retsu??? retsu would literally roll a red carpet down the path pink walks on and that makes me HOLLER every single time guys 😭#like— once you see how akira and retsu treat rinko and pink… the other mls become just bland in there#yuuma mikage and cayenne give NOTHING to their series#they’re love interest just for the sake of having love interests#because akari and momona are better off alone tbh cause they genuinely are such BADDIES#they’re so cool that when you see their love interests you are like… ‘babygurl don’t settle for mediocre guys like that pls…’#like… akari and momona are the men in their ‘relationships’ 😭#don’t get me started on kanon and mikage like— wHY ARE YOU CRUSHING ON YOUR TWIN BROTHER???? AND WHY IS HE CRUSHING ON A BUNNY?????#thank god they broke up after finding out they were related (THANK YOU GOD!) but now why is he head over heels ROMANTICALLY over a bunny???#aside from all these weird shit the plot wasn’t interesting at all and gave… well… nothing…#anyways!! akari and momona deserve better men for real 🫤#or sanrio could’ve left them single yknow…? we wouldn’t have even noticed pft#these are controversial and unpopular opinions among the jewelpet series fandoms… but i just had to get them out of my chest phew
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finally getting a chance to work on chapter 15 today :-)
#shout out AS ALWAYS to people leaving comments!!!! you are keeping me motivated you are keeping the dream alive#for some behind the scenes: in the last few weeks i've been barely sleeping and it makes it very hard to write or even be in a good mood#i usually need 11+ hours to function and so like. 2-3 hours a night is putting me in a bad place both mentally and physically#and yes i realize 11 or more hours is like a silly amount of sleep but idk. it's just how i am. i go to bed early AND sleep in ahaha.#i've been falling behind in all my classes due to the sleep thing so writing for fun has totally been off the table lol#ANYWAYS#typing typing typing (this chapter will be a lighthearted one)#we all need some fluff and levity i think (and i need to give time for Riku to care for Sora even more and be like. wow. i love you)#I was struggling earlier bc i wanted to write both about how Sora has been hiding darkness from loved ones and needs to let them in#but also with the idea of sora feeling that he needs friends to have strength or value. and i kind of realized i needed to pick one#like maybe a better writer than me could have both of those things be addressed at once but for me i was like... I want Riku to comfort him#which goes against him learning that he's fine on his own. we can address that in a different fic. rn he is just sad and needs to know#that he can share that with the people around him. and that he's still loveable despite it all#also shout out to my gf for teaching me “love isn't something you deserve that's not what love is” like. i did not know that b4 her#so I asked her lots of questions for chapter 14 actually cause I was like. i want Riku to support Sora in the way you'd support me#cuz IDK SHIT ABOUT THAT i have always felt unworthy of love and like i had to beg people to stay with me until i got into this relationship#so i was like. judy. what is your wisdom. how do you care for me when i feel like my pain makes me unloveable. what would you say#So yeah shout out to her! I am off on a tangent now hehe sorry. thanks for reading if you read this at all!! have a good day :)#jtsys fic#updates
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more in depth explanation ig, i dont feel like i can listen to especially poets without thinking about the whole paternity test analysis thing.
when i first listened i felt really awful and embarrassed and i couldn't quite articulate why
while im still trying to figure it out, a huge part of my feelings was (and still is) that the part of me that wants to theorize about songs and who they're about, and connect it to taylor's life and imagine what she wrote about is at odds with what i hear in the lyrics about creeps who want the best for me and etc
there are some songs im better at just vibing with and some songs that i just actively have to force myself not to be like "oh thats about x person and so they did this and she did this and..."
I'm trying, and if anyone has suggestions or things that work for them please send them to me, im new to this and to online fandoms in general. i feel so shitty but then there's part of me that still doesn't see harm in thinking "x song is about taylor and x person, so using what you know about them both lets picture this in your mind" and "oh [symbol 1] that must mean it's about [person 1], but wait now there's also [symbol 2] so it's about [person 1 and person 2] but wait does that mean person 2 could also be related to symbol 1?" all the while all of these people are real actual people.
#another thing is i caught myself thinking ''god i love you taylor'' and then ''she'll never meet you don't adress her in the second person#she doesn't know you pretend like shes a character from a book so you don't makeup a parasocial relationship''#and i cant get it through my head that she's both a real person deserving of empathy and like an author or a person i really only know#through their work#because im stupid ig#so anyway im trying yo sort all this shit out and being online about taylor swift is really not helping lol#so i blocked every tag i could think of on most of my social medias#i might pop in on here from time to time but not for rebloging things because that feels like a minefield honestly#if anyone has suggestions probably ask box or dms is the best place to put them because i blocked the tags lol#i would really appreciate someone else's input on this and im totally willing to talk more about what my mindset is rn lol#thank you for reading through all this and have a good day#im gonna tag this with (some of) my blocked tags now so other people can see#poets#the tortured poets department#taylor swift#swifie#in shipping recovery#ttpd#tsttpd#taylor nation#taylornation#tortured poetry#tsttpdta#the anthology#the tortured poets department: the anthology
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eeeuuuuggghhh i'm gonna bitch in the tags a bit bcus this isn't like. serious enough to put more effort into it than that but i also don't want it to sit in my brain.
#little rock.txt#venting#self harm in tags btw#anyway. wow i hate intrusive thoughts.#like great guys. it's so cool that the way we're deciding to spend our time is constantly thinking about ways to hurt myself#oh wow stabbing myself with a knife someone left on the counter? so original. never been seen before#oh starving myself?? even when my lovely friend made us a whole dinner?? that's lovely. wow. not even a little bit rude#standing in traffic until someone comes and hits me? at least that wouldn't damage my fucking car like your other ideas!#taking something sharp to my sunburns for a two-birds-one-stone thing?? i guess you're making the best of the circumstances#like jesus fucking christ Grow Up. am i fifteen goddamn years old again#like if we're being So real the consequences of actually self-harming Far outweigh the benefits so i'm not at any real risk#(i do Not want to deal with the fallout of 1. cleaning those wounds 2. confronting my housemates with active self-harm#they actively do not deserve that happening to them)#(hi guys btw sorry. i'm fine)#but that just means i'm sitting here like. so are you gonna be productive or....?#like i had plans of what i wanted to do with my brain power tonight. was gonna write. maybe clip a stream. and we're...?#oh just sitting on my laptop playing music too loud bcus if i could hear my own thoughts it'd be a nightmare? neat.#jesus christ can i be a normal goddamn person for like fifteen minutes and get out of this anxiety spiral. it's been over 24 hours.#whatever. like at this point it's fucking whatever. if i can't drag myself into being productive i'm just gonna go to bed.#“opal is being mean to yourself really going to help” i don't know. i doubt it. unfortunately i am in the mood to be a bitch#and the only person who deserves to deal with bitchy opal is me. so.#anyway if you read all of this uuuhhh sorry. i am like this. but hey. thank you for caring
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Rid I'm so sad that you're receiving this hate but for me you're one of the kindest people in here. I'm always rooting for you. Sending hugs. 🥰
thank you babe, i think i needed to hear this.. you're the sweetest, all the hugs back 🥺🤍
#dunno if anyone will read the tags but to be fully honest.. someone said it just yday but#it just sucks feeling so lonely bc so many ppl here seem to be in groups and also hate me? i know i cant be liked by everyone that's okay#but all this hate?.. n i see people interact and be friends n stuff and im in my corner here and just extremely lonely#mutuals don't really interact w me either :') and then i always feel awkward and weird bc i think nobody WANTS to be my friend#which used to be different. maybe i deserved it idk#but yeah very lonely and very “everyone hates me” feel and makes me not rlly wanna do tumblr and writing anymore which is why i might close#this blog after cmi :( n wow i think ive never said it that openly and maybe ill delete it all again ufjdjfud ive just been Sad about this#idk i just hate constantly asking myself 'does anyone still care or like me at all' it just sucks#i'm saying all this n anons will once again find a way to send hate lol. just made tumblr very not comforting for me.. and yeah. anyways#thank you to you guys who still send so much love. when i say it means a lot i truly mean it bc it's always nice to know that ppl are still#here 🤍#notes for rid 🌹#anon
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~couple questions~ for when you need an excuse to talk about your characters/ship 😽
8, 10, 16, 19, 22 and 25
Pick your fav pairings with your tav.
These are from the [~Couple Questions~: For When You need An Excuse to Talk About your Characters/Ship] list for anyone who either wants the list or wants to send some more!
Sorry this one took a while @csphire, I too got a little carried away and wrote probably way more than I was supposed to bwahahaha But I hope you enjoy! 😉 Obligatory disclaimer that there's some very horny/suggestive things in some of these answers, and also there WILL be spoilers for the plot of the game so like. Do not read if you're someone who hates spoilers and hasn't played through the whole game yet etc etc.
Also, I'm playing loosey-goosey with the lore in some respects because I'm here to have a good time, not a 100% canon compliant time. If you don't like that then just stay off my posts for the sake of both our sanities, I beg of you 🙏Rai is a polyamorous bisexual disaster and has a closed polycule with Karlach, Wyll and Dammon (tho I'm going on ~vibes~ and Wyll and Dammon aren't romantically/sexually involved bc I just didn't get that vibe from them while writing. It's a "ah yes, my girlfriends and their cool boyfriend : )" situation from both sides for the guys. They're purely platonic but they both love their girls a whole lot.) And before someone says it, no I don't care that it's not canon in-game. I don't need it to be canon in-game to do it anyway and I will die on this hill so don't try me /hj
commence the spoilers/horniness/etc under the cut! last chance to click away if you don't want to see that! XD (oh also trigger warning for mentions of child abuse/mistreatment, and...idk how best to word it other than discussions of being trained as a child soldier and references to past abuse and trauma. I've tried to blanket cover with trigger tags but ask if you'd like me to add any others I've missed!)
What do they find physically sexiest about each other? Going with Rai and Wyll for this one bc I think they have the best answers! ☺️
Rai: The ✨horns✨. Listen. I get why he's upset about them at first. I do. I totally get it. But come ooooonnnnn!! You CANNOT tell me those babies are anything except sexy as FUCK to tieflings. They're fucking beautiful horns, and I like to think Rai's a big factor in Wyll learning to "live with" his horns and maybe eventually like them. Just a little bit. She loves his horns and she'll use any excuse in the book to get her hands all over them. At first she was offering to help him with the horn care because he really had no clue & asked her & Karlach for help (tho Karlach wasn't touchable at the time so Rai had to step up for the physical "here like this" demonstration and that's prolly where it started lol) then it became a little intimacy habit between them, he doesn't need her help anymore but he's not going to say "no" if she asks/offers, ya know? :3 (honourable mention to the time drunk Wyll at the Grove party complained very loudly about having "bumps and stuff where they absolutely should not be" because Rai's only reaction to that was "OOH~ 👀💖" hahaha)
Wyll: This might sound like a weird one, but probably her tail? Rai's very tail-expressive, if she doesn't force it to keep still by wrapping it around her own leg (or someone else *wink wink*) then it's ALWAYS moving around or giving away her emotions in some way! It started out innocent enough in that his eyes were automatically drawn to it because it moves around so much. Even despite growing up in Baldur's Gate for some time and thus being around a fair few tieflings (from my limited understanding of the lore and stuff thus far, don't lynch me hardcore fans, I've never played tabletop 5E or the other baldur's gate games lmao) he'd never met a tiefling that moved their tail so much until he met Rai. But now he can't help but stare when he thinks she isn't looking (she totally knows and does things with it on purpose sometimes just to tease him because she knows Wyll is staring. Rai and Karlach have a running (playfully ofc) bet going about how long it's going to take Wyll to figure out that she knows he stares, he hasn't figured it out just yet 😉 lol) Honourable mention for her eyes bc he thinks they're very pretty uwu and not at all for smutty eye-contact reasons cough I mean what
What was their last big fight? What did they learn from it? You get a two-for-one with this one bc the two fights are interconnected (pov: one half of your polycule gets into a pretty major lovers' tiff and the other half gets dragged into it as collateral damage anyway. Sorry boys lol )
Both these fights are also the focal plot beats for a Hurt/Comfort oneshot, but alas, I can't get away with being too vague with this or the reasons why it was a fight kinda don't match up with the "what they learned from it" in the 2nd part of the question, so just act surprised a while from now when I post the fic, ok? XD(I've got all the dialogues and whatnot plotted out now, just gotta convert it to written prose 🫶 ) This one ran away with me and got REALLY long, sorry (or you're welcome, I guess? lol)
Rai and Karlach: disclaimer: I know in-game it all kinda happens in the same convo but for some ~creative liberty~ (because I love me some good ol' Hurt/Comfort angst) I chopped the convo in half with the first bit happening before the fight (bc something Karlach says in the heat of the moment kicks it all off) and the latter half of Karlach realizing she does still want to live and is upset that she's still dying happening a couple days later, after the spat is resolved.
Karlach technically starts it after she hits out when they've killed Gortash but I wanna be clear when I say both of them are at fault for it. This is not only their biggest fight but also a powder-keg type of situation where things built up over time till they both exploded at eachother for different reasons, see below :
Karlach's very stubborn about not wanting to go back to Avernus at first - even into Act 3. Wyll and Rai ofc offer to go with her, but initially that doesn't help Karlach feel better. The worst thing she could possibly think of is putting two of the people she loves more than anything through the nightmare that is the Blood War. So when Rai keeps bringing it up and keeps pushing her about it, she snaps. Listen, I love Karlach a LOT and I think she means well, genuinely, and would never hurt her partner's feelings on purpose/maliciously. But she's a Yeller when she gets mad - and with Rai that is a BAD kind of mad to be. We see this in-game especially if you have her with you when you run into Gortash, and her heartbreaking meltdown after you kill him.
Logically, Rai knows the autonomy of getting to make that decision - to choose her freedom even if it means that it comes with death as an unwanted consequence - is important to Karlach, and if she was thinking logically at the time she would of course want to respect that. In theory. In practise however, it turned out "just sit there and watch me die" was not a line Rai was willing to draw. She gets pushy about Dammon's suggestion that they should take Karlach back to Avernus to stabilize her Engine, even when Karlach insists she's made her mind up and doesn't want to talk about it anymore. Rai keeps bringing it up over and over again, and insisting that she and Wyll would both go with her if it'd make it less scary for her, and just refuses to take "no" for an answer etc etc
By the time they kill Gortash and Karlach has her little meltdown she's just had enough of Rai throwing the suggestion into what feels like damn-near every conversation they've had since Dammon broke the news to them in Last Light. So she loses her temper and starts shouting before Rai can say it again.
And the thing about Rai is…she's emotionally reactionary. Whatever energy you give her, she'll bounce right back to you, she can't help it and hasn't quite figured out how to stop doing it at that point in time (though she does get better at it in the future!). If you keep your voice calm and level, she might growl and snap her teeth or smack her tail on something a little bit but eventually she'll match your energy and chill out to just talk about things. But if you yell and scream and shout and call her names? She's gonna yell, scream, and call you names back.
And that's exactly what happens. It's a huge miscommunication/misunderstanding between both of them. Karlach makes assumptions about Rai's past despite the fact that unlike Wyll and Dammon, she'd never really asked Rai about her childhood in Elturel or anything like that (again, I'll stress that I don't think this was done with deliberate malice, but I feel like being a little bit selfish is a realistic character flaw for Karlach to have. She's been through a lot and she gets tunnel-visioned on solving her own problems and when you pair that with Rai's brand of "too busy trying to fix everybody else to fix myself" trauma response and it's just an unfortunate combination. Rai never brought her own trauma up, and Karlach never thought to ask) So as a result, she thinks Rai "got lucky" not being in Elturel when it fell and that as a result, Rai is naïve and doesn't know "how bad" Avernus really was. Meanwhile, while she's certainly not as well-acquainted with it as Karlach and Dammon, Rai's not as ignorant as Karlach thinks. Her Mother Superior was a necromancy wizard, and one of Zariel's goons. The temple where Rai was "taken in" and raised was really just a front for training up either spellcasters or sword-fighters (depending on an individual's aptitude and uhh, the way they figured out where to funnel them was to use them as magical target practise until they either threw a spell back at their "tutors" or the staff agreed that it had been long enough and "they're too slow/useless at magic so idk just give them a sword I guess", basically - most of Rai's scars come from the early years where she was used as every other "student"'s magical punching bag, the rest are from Avarice's rituals, except for the one on the end of her tail which she got when Elturel came back and Rai didn't know the tieflings had been exiled so went back to try and look for Dammon, Rolan, Cal and Lia and ended up being attacked and driven off instead) to be ultimately sent to Avernus for Zariel to toss into the Blood War. She's been the unwilling participant in far too many necromancy rituals and while I haven't quite hammered out the full details of this yet, they were definitely not nice and she's definitely ended up looking some brand of devil or other in the eye before, during said rituals. I'm very much going for the angle of if Rai hadn't been assumed dead and left where she'd run off into the woods and she HAD been in Elturel when it went down? She'd have been just as fucked as Karlach was with Gortash. Straight to the Blood War with her, she would've been Infernal Engine prototype 2.0 and she and Karlach would've met fighting in the Blood War. Karlach doesn't know any of this, and thus makes a flippant off-hand comment that rubs the salt right into the open wound that is Rai's survivor's guilt without fully realising she's done it. Instead of staying to talk it out, Rai gets even angrier and storms off despite poor Wyll's best attempts to try and get between them and calm them down.
Dammon and Karlach: After Rai storms off, she finds herself going straight to Forge of the Nine. It's not a surprise really. She's known Dammon the longest and because Rai already felt bad that Wyll was in-between her and Karlach during their fight (they were having a screaming match in the middle of camp, it wasn't exactly quiet, or pretty D: ) she didn't want to make it worse for him by forcing him to pick a side, so Rai made the choice for Wyll and went to Dammon. Rai's so upset at first that Dammon's terrified Karlach's engine has exploded and Rai's here to tell him she's dead. When he finally calms her down enough for Rai to tell him what actually happened, he…doesn't feel that much better. He's too worried about Rai to go marching back to camp and confront Karlach himself, especially when she asks him "can I stay here tonight? I don't want to go back just yet". But he does stew (I like to think Dammon isn't one to get angry often. And even when he does he's not loud and shouty about it. It's more a broody, quiet, "give you the silent treatment" type of thing)
Karlach's the one, after she's calmed down, who ends up checking Dammon's place when the rest of the party split up the next morning to go looking for Rai after they realize she's still gone. Rai sleeps through Karlach's knocking (she had a hard night, did a lot of yelling/screaming and crying, ya girl passed tf out once Dammon wrangled her into a bath & then bed to sleep it off ;-; ) but Dammon doesn't. He tries to be patient with Karlach but when she starts posturing and growling and snapping at him, Dammon loses his temper right back. Again, he's not a Scream And Shout kind of angry but he is a "Do not raise your fucking voice at me!" kind of angry. It's a side of him that Karlach hasn't seen before and it stuns her so much that it shuts her right up, but Dammon keeps going. He ends up reading Karlach a bit of a riot act about how much, exactly, she'd hurt Rai's feelings because Rai was probably never going to admit it to Karlach herself and it gives Karlach some serious cause for self-reflection. Dammon and Karlach's fight only gets broken up when their back-and-forth finally gets through Rai's Sleepiness and she wakes up and stumbles down the stairs to find them mid-argument. Karlach feels so guilty when she locks eyes with Rai over Dammon's shoulder that she apologises on the spot, which leads to Rai apologising too and they work it out with a little bit of mutual encouragement from Dammon <3
As for what they learned from it: Rai defo gets the longest list but I'll do all 3 of them again bc why the hell not lol
Rai definitely learns to not let her emotions make her careless/less aware of her partners' feelings. As an orphan who was treated more like a tool/weapon by the main parental figure in her life (part of the reason, like Astarion and Karlach, that Astarion and Rai are besties. Cazador treated Astarion like a possession, Avarice raised Rai as a weapon and they're kindred spirits of sorts as a result despite Astarion complaining about Rai being "too nice" XD) for most of her formative years, Rai's emotional maturity very much comes from her stumbling face-first into the lessons/epiphanies herself lol
So she learns to be a bit less "keep my shit to myself but expect everyone to let me deal with their shit" and take up a bit more space/be a bit more communicative about her own trauma. "I can't carry it for you, but I can carry you" and "Avernus fucking sucks and they're all haunted by it in some way or another" are the two overarching themes for Rai and her polycule 💖
She also learns to be a bit less impulsive. She ran off because she didn't want to force Wyll to "pick a side", but ended up doing exactly that to BOTH the boys, because she ran off first without thinking it through logically.
Karlach has a little "oh, shit" moment when Dammon sets her straight and she realizes that she never actually asked Rai anything about her time in Elturel or what it was like for her/why she danced around the subject. She just…made assumptions and didn't fact check or think that maybe her assumptions could've been wrong.
For my "version" of the story the snowball effect from this fight culminates in Karlach ultimately deciding that she doesn't want to die. She wants to LIVE. So when they get to the dock at the very end and Rai and Wyll tell her "we won't make the decision for you, but whatever you choose, we're with you". And she chooses Avernus in the end, because even though she's fucking terrified, the fact that after everything they've all been through with something from Avernus dogging their every effort to get away from it, both Rai and Wyll are still willing to go back too. For her. And if they can do it for her, then she can do it for them, and maybe buy Dammon enough time to figure out how to fix her heart for good. (I'm not crying you're crying /lh)
And she also learns that while she has a right to make her own decisions, she cannot presume to make those same decisions for anyone else in the polycule just because she thinks she's protecting them by doing it. She can make those decisions for herself, but she has to let them make theirs sometimes too, even if they're not the decision Karlach wanted them to make.
(honourable/slightly joke-y mention: "Don't piss off Dammon. He's scarier than any Raging barbarian when he's angry" lol)
Bonus Dammon, bc I love him and he's kinda a package deal with Rai /jk. Who gets to wrestle a little bit with guilt (it was his suggestion that snowballed into making his girls fight, after all ;-; ), the guilt from this fight is the straw that broke the camel's back in a biiiiiig pile of guilt he's been carrying around since Rai "disappeared" and he just believed Avarice when she said she was dead and never thought to try looking for her etc. He has to learn to make peace with it, before it starts eating him alive, sort of deal. ;3; Also feel like he gets a bit more comfortable with making his voice heard despite his general introverted nature. If he hadn't been a bit firmer with Karlach she might not have stayed quiet long enough to listen and the spat might've been a lot more drawn out than it ended up being so he gets a gold star for that hahaha
How do they react when the other is upset? How do they try to help?
Sorta-kinda talked about this one in question 10 with Rai and Dammon and Rai and Wyll so I'll do Rai and Karlach for this one! :3
I'd say it depends? Unlike Dammon who just gets angry but not necessarily violent, Rai and Karlach both have a tendency to get aggresisve/violent when the other one is hurt/upset. If its a specific person whose made them upset (and you know. it's not someone they already know/just a misunderstanding between friends) they will start threatening and even actually hurt the person responsible if they can get their hands on them. Be careful with upsetting the other one because you will have a homicidal tiefling on your ass and when she catches you she will rip you in half. Trust me on that one. If Wyll and/or Dammon can't talk her down.
When Raphael starts bothering Rai during the course of the game plot, Karlach has absolutely threatened to rip his face off if he dares lay a finger on Rai. This may or may not become foreshadowing, haven't written/planned anything that far ahead just yet so we'll see when/if I get there hahaha. If its just a general "someTHING happened and I am upset" the default is definitely cuddles. They're both absolute cuddle fiends, esp after Karlach's touchable again. If they're not busy adventuring or helping with camp chores they are huddled on a bedroll snuggling, but this is doubly true when one of them is upset because cuddle piles fix everything. "No you may not bother her until she decides she's done, unless you want IN the cuddle pile too then go ahead". You get the idea lolol
What values do they not share? How do they reconcile those differences?
Going with Rai and Dammon for this one bc they're the first ones that came to mind when I looked at this question!
Rai's definitely a warrior/soldier at heart. Fighting comes naturally to her, whether Dammon likes it or not (and assuming that she'd had a "normal" childhood and not been scooped up by Avarice, this would still be true. Just instead she would've probably ended up a Hellrider instead of an Acolyte). It doesn't mean that he's not going to worry, or freak out, when she charges into something dangerous. Especially because Dammon is the opposite. As I said earlier, I think he can fight, he just chooses not to because he doesn't like it.
From Rai's end, it works perfectly fine. She's never expecting Dammon to come with her into battle, she knows he hates it. But Dammon does worry. He's terrified that one day she'll leave for a battle and never come back. And he won't be there, it'll be Wyll and Karlach by themselves coming back to give him the bad news. Dammon doesn't think his heart can take it. He's definitely had panic attacks before because of worrying about Rai charging off into a fight, but he's had to make peace with the fact that it's in her blood and he can't stop her. A frequent exchange between them before Rai runs right into something dangerous is usually Dammon telling her "I don't need you to be a hero, I just need you to be alive and safe" ( D: ). But he has to learn to trust her when she responds with "I promise you, I am coming back. I'm coming home to you when it's over". The more times she does come back, the more he starts to believe it even if the worry doesn't ever completely go away </3.
Rai always makes sure to "check in" with him before and after a fight as a result. Because even if it seems silly to her, she knows Dammon needs to hear her say it. (Also I think once they end up in the closed polycule with Karlach and Wyll, and knowing that they're there to watch eachothers' backs helps Dammon's anxiety be a bit less bad!)
What's different about their backgrounds? Do those differences affect the relationship?
And again bc they were the first pair I thought of after looking at the question, Rai/Wyll ✨
Rai's an orphan, with the Acolyte background because she was raised in a temple in Elturel and the closest thing to a "parent" she ever had was her Mother Superior, Avarice (who is also a Bhaalspawn a.k.a canon-divergent Durge). Even then, Avarice was not at all nurturing past the absolute bare minimum and by that I mean "don't kill the child soldier before she's been put to use in the Blood War" kind of deal. She has no memory of her biological parents whatsoever and doesn't really even know what having parents feels like.
Wyll on the other hand at least has his dad. But as a result of her childhood, Rai doesn't really…understand, the father-son dynamic that Wyll and Ulder have because she never had anything even close to that in her formative years. She's never deliberately confrontational with Ulder but it definitely takes her a LONG time to warm up to him after Wyll tells her about how he ended up pacted with Mizora as a result of what went on between him and his dad. She doesn't want to make things difficult for Wyll (on purpose) or tell him he can't have a relationship with his father. But she definitely doesn't GET it for a good long while and I think that would definitely bleed over into her relationship with Wyll until she can work through it.
(also something to be said for the Nobility/essentially a street urchin class-gap possibly? But no immediate anecdotes come to mind as of typing this. Just that I think that def creates some differences of experience for them that I'll prolly expand upon/explore more as I write more for them! :D)
Who said "I love you" first?
Aaand for this one, I'mma do all the Tav(Rai) ships again, because I think they're all equally cute and I can't just do one sorry! :D So here we goooo, in no particular order ~
Rai and Dammon: Both, pretty much. As discussed in question 10, Rai and Dammon have known eachother pretty much their entire lives. Their "I love you" was a "both of them blurted it out at exactly the same time" deal. When Zevlor recognised Rai and thus let them into the grove, and she started milling around and reconnecting with old friends/acquaintances/found family from Elturel, it takes her a little while to come across Dammon because his makeshift forge is tucked so far into the back of where the tieflings are staying. And while he's close with the other tieflings, Dammon does prefer to keep to himself so when there's a commotion at the gate he doesn't think it's his place to go sticking his nose in. It's probably something to do with a fight, and ever since Avernus he doesn't want much to do with fighting anymore (I'm also a "Dammon is an introvert" truther. And while I think he can wield a sword I feel like he very much chooses not to. Avernus fucking sucked my dudes, and I don't think he enjoys being on or around a battlefield AT ALL after getting back, though he will craft/fix weapons, armour, shields etc for his friends and family and if it called for it (like helping protect the tiefling kiddos during the grove raid, or defending Moonrise with the Tadpole squad and the Harpers) he will pick up a sword and fight if he HAS to. But he'd very much rather not if he has the choice between fighting or not.)
Eventually, she wanders to the back where his forge is and suddenly Rai is hit with a wave of recognition when she catches sight of Dammon and realizes it's him. She ends up getting his attention by calling out to her and at that point he almost burns himself dropping the weapon he'd been putting through the coals because as far as Dammon thought, Rai had died during the fuss with Elturel and he couldn't believe she was here - cue them both almost strangling eachother with hugs, a lot of tears and a very rushed out "I love you" because with the way Rai was carting around looking for a way to get un-tadpoled, they had no idea if there would be a "next time" that they saw eachother alive again and "I need you to know". ;3;
Rai and Wyll: Wyll went first here, but only just. Rai and Wyll's "I love you" was very much both of them were waiting for the other one to say it first because they were worried it was Too Soon(tm) otherwise. Wyll was the one that cracked first and Rai said it back ahem I may also have a fic for this hence why this one is so short, I don't want to spoiler y'all before I'm done w/ the oneshot and that was that.
Rai and Karlach: Rai went first, she'd known she loved Karlach for a while (I'd even make a cheesy "love at first sight" argument for these two tbh lol). Post-Engine upgrade 2, Karlach had a good cry when she realized it had worked, and as she cuddled and comforted her a little "I love you" slipped out into Karlach's hair. Karlach wasn't too far behind, it pretty much went down how it does in-game after they finally get to go to bed on that same night because I just think her getting so excited and yelling "ILOVEYOUTOO!" back at Rai is so goddamn cute that I have to keep it in there ;3; ❤️
#bg3 sort of#couple questions ask meme#mildly n/sfw#suggestive#long post#elven's bg3 headcanons#bg3 oc: tief!saarai#tiefling tav#saarai/wyll#saarai/karlach#saarai/dammon#saarai/karlach/wyll#saarai/karlach/dammon#thank you for picking very fun questions i had a blast writing these#''everyone deserves their own polycule'' truthers unite :P#i am very normal about rai and her polycule (i am physically incapable of being normal about how much i love them. Ever /hj)#also pretty sure i read somewhere that tief tails *aren't* prehensile anymore?? but they are to me so the lore can fight me lmao#also also both wyll and dammon *are* also bi because in her other verse rai's polycule is all-bi so#it makes sense to make dammon bi as well (and wyll is ofc also bi anyway in-game)#so it's not that they're het here they just *happen* to not have a vibe with eachother is all lmao#we had that convo with drunk wyll at the grove party and i couldn't stop fucking laughing#wyll. baby boy. sweetie pie. firstly she loves you *anyway* you silly (affectionate) man.#but besides that; you're complaining about bumpy/spiny dick as if that's not something that's like. if it's *not* canon for tieflings#it *should* be [nodding emphatically]#so you just got 10x as attractive between that and the horns#(actually now that i think about it...#that's prolly about the point in time that wyll realises rai has been doing the fuck-me tail *at him too* and not just at karlach#bc that was her *immediate; instantaneous* response to his complaint about the bumpy dick lmfao)#i love him so much#tw: child abuse mention
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