#stardust is here too ig

[obituarybug]

The Stardust Crusaders defeat DIO

[toestalucia]

wording it like this LOL.....

[flovverworks]

speaking of rustica but them going "ya hes trans" is so unreal to me too (positive)

[thekidsarentalright]

‼️ Attention Fob Fan Reading This ‼️

A few weeks ago, I posted the fourth annual fob census asking you all to answer a bunch of evil questions regarding fall out boy, and after getting 1.3k (!!!!!) responses, the results are finally in (below the 'keep reading'). I wanted to quickly say thank you to everybody who participated in this, it's so fun to do every year and it makes me so happy to see so many others enjoy it too!! Without further adieu, here are the results:

Disclaimers: Quickly I just wanted to warn that this is a long post- it's worth reading, the results are very interesting! But it's also a lot to get through, be prepared for that! Secondly, tumblr loves to destroy image quality- click on the image to see it better!

Question 1:

For the first question, you were simply asked what era you became a fan. The top 3 results were, as shown: 1. Save Rock And Roll Era (345 Responses) 2. American Beauty/American Psycho Era (268 Responses) 3. During The Hiatus (132 Responses) Not much to say about this one, every year the results are very similar. Most interesting is that over 100 people have become a fan in the last year!

Question 2:

The second question asked you for your favorite era, and the results were, as shown: 1. So Much (For) Stardust Era (550 Responses) 2. Infinity On High Era (191 Responses) 3. Save Rock And Roll Era (170 Responses) The impact of the newest era is clearly seen in this question! Some could say it's recency bias, only time will tell, but regardless smfs era absolutely dominates as peoples favorite!

Question 3:

Question three asked what your favorite album was, and this was one where I was incredibly interested to see if so much (for) stardust shook things up that much... And as shown in the top responses, it did not! 1. Folie A Deux (550 Responses) 2. Infinity On High (270 Responses) 3. From Under The Cork Tree (153 Responses) Last year, the order of the results was exactly the same. As I believe it has been every year... Folie is unbeatable

Question 4:

The next question asked for you to objectively say which fob album is the best, to see if the responses between favorite and best differed, and as you can see, they did: 1. So Much (For) Stardust (457 Responses) 2. Folie A Deux (389 Responses) 3. Infinity On High (297 Responses) It's so interesting to me to see that so many people believe stardust to be fob's best album, but even then do not consider it to be their favorite.

Question 5:

Now that we've gotten the favorite/best albums out of the way, it's time for least favorite/worst, with these being your least favorite fob albums: 1. Take This To Your Grave (375 Responses) 2. American Beauty/American Psycho (371 Responses) 3. Mania (308 Responses) Most interesting about these results, to me, are how much the top three responses sweep in comparison to the rest. While for the last two questions, the results were more spread, these are much more unanimous.

Question 6:

Question six asked for the objective worst fob album, and you responded as so: 1. Take This To Your Grave (517 Responses) 2. Mania (347 Responses) 3. American Beauty/American Psycho (328 Responses) All I have to add here is that the responses are even More unanimous... Tttyg sweep ig! fdjsnf

Question 7:

Going away from albums, the next question asked for your favorite EP, and you all responded as such: 1. Lake Effect Kid (404 Responses) 2. My Heart Will Always Be The B-Side To My Tongue (374 Responses) 3. Pax AM Days (337 Responses) Last year, lake effect kid was second and my heart was first- always very interesting to see how things shift, even slightly!

Question 8:

The next question had you saying your favorite album cover art, and you all decided these are the best covers: 1. Infinity On High (664 Responses) 2. Folie A Deux (195 Responses) 3. From Under The Cork Tree (176 Responses) I was very interesting to see where smfs would land, with it falling in the bottom half, not disrupting the top three at all. However, folie moved up a spot, swapping with futct. Ioh reigns supreme though!

Question 9:

These results came out identical to last year, but here are the top first fob songs you all heard: 1. Sugar, We're Goin' Down (347 Responses) 2. My Songs Know (171 Responses) 3. Dance, Dance (134 Responses) 4. Thnks Fr Th Mmrs (132 Responses) 5. Centuries (91 Responses)

Question 10:

Question 10 asked for your favorite fob song, a very subjective question that garnered many different responses, these came out on top: 1. Headfirst Slide (105 Responses) 2. Disloyal Order (73 Responses) 3. Hum Hallelujah (69 Responses)(nice) 4. Ginasfs (65 Responses) 5. 27 (55 Responses) I have many thoughts about these results and don't want to ramble too much, but will say, most interesting: This is the first time disloyal order isn't first for this question. A big change, I think!

Question 11:

We know now your subjective fav songs, but what about objective best? You all said: 1. So Much (For) Stardust (244 Responses) 2. Headfirst Slide (136 Responses) 3. Love From The Other Side (83 Responses) 4. What A Catch, Donnie (70 Responses) 5. Hum Hallelujah = Disloyal Order (66 Responses) Once again, lots of thoughts! We have our first tie, both smfs the song and album sweeping, and disloyal order once again Not topping the list! Huge changes!

Question 12:

This question is always the one i get the most excited about each year. It's also the one that gets the most varied responses, but these came out in the top: 1. Sunshine Riptide (56 Responses) 2. "From Now On We Are Enemies" (49 Responses) 3. You're Crashing, But You're No Wave (47 Responses) 4. Rat A Tat (40 Responses) 5. It's Not A Side Effect = Heaven's Gate This question changed a lot from last year, with sunshine riptide moving up three spots, and rat a tat, it's not a side effect, and heaven's gate showing up when they didn't before!

Question 13:

With underrated songs come overrated ones, and you all said these were the most overrated: 1. Centuries (330 Responses) 2. Sugar, We're Goin' Down (96 Responses) 3. My Songs Know (87 Responses) 4. Bang The Doldrums (67 Responses) 5. Immortals (62 Responses) Most of note- Bang the doldrums is here, when it simultaneously was voted pretty highly as a favorite song!

Question 14:

This was the first time I asked the question of what your favorite fob cover is, and you all decided these are the best three: 1. Love Will Tear Us Apart (297 Responses) 2. Beat It (278 Responses) 3. I Wanna Dance With Somebody (224)

Question 15:

Asking which song has the best lyrics is another one of my favorites to see, and this year you all said: 1. Hum Hallelujah (172 Responses) 2. So Much (For) Stardust (75 Responses) 3. You're Crashing, But You're No Wave (72 Responses) 4. Ginasfs (70 Responses) 5. Disloyal Order (67 Responses) It's not surprise these results are very similar to best song, and it's very deserved! These songs are on top every year, save for smfs being newly one of their best written songs!

Question 16:

This question asked how many times you've seen fob live, and the results are as shown: 1. 1-3 Times (780 Responses) 2. Haven't Seem Them Live Yet (353 Responses) 3. 4-6 Times (138 Responses) 4. 7-9 Times (42 Responses) 5. 10+ Times (37 Responses) Last year, a majority of people said they hadn't seen them live, so it makes me really happy to see now, a majority has! And i hope those that haven't get to soon!

Question 17:

Continuing with the tour theme, specific to this year, I asked what your favorite medley song was, and you all said: 1. Spotlight (New Regrets) (272 Responses) 2. I've Got A Dark Alley (165 Responses) 3. What A Catch, Donnie (146 Responses) 4. WAMS (133 Responses) 5. Get Busy Living (117 Responses) Seeing spotlight sweep made me happy, as it genuinely was the craziest moment. All of these were crazy, and so special- seeing each medley song get so much love just shows it <3

Question 18:

Now continuing with tourdust questions, I asked for your fav 8 ball song, here were your top 5: 1. Pavlove (372 Responses) 2. Ginasfs (184 Responses) 3. Bang The Doldrums (144 Responses) 4. "From Now On We Are Enemies" (80 Responses) 5. 27 (69 Responses) Similarly to before, each of these was so crazy and special, it's great to see they all got love. Pavlove swept massively, tho, as deserved i think

Question 19:

I think it goes without saying that each band member is loved and very important, but we all have our #1 babygirl, and here's who you all said was yours: 1. Patrick (676 Responses) 2. Pete (402 Responses) 3. Joe (160 Responses) 4. Andy (112 Responses) All i have to say is... kill that thing patrick <3

Question 20:

Our next miscellaneous question asks for your fav music video, and this year you all said these were your favorites: 1. A Little Less Sixteen Candles (275 Responses) 2. Dance, Dance (109 Responses) 3. Hold Me Like A Grudge (89 Responses) 4. America's Suitehearts = Miss Missing You (74 Responses) 5. I Don't Care (67 Responses) I was curious to see if a stardust mv would make it in, and was glad to see grudge did! Otherwise, very similar results to last year. Old favs die hard i suppose <3

Question 21:

Here, I asked for your favorite band that isn't fob but is related/adjacent to fob, and you all said: 1. My Chemical Romance (576 Responses) 2. Paramore (302 Responses) 3. I Don't Know How But They Found Me (88 Responses) 4. Cobra Starship = Green Day (75 Responses) 5. Gym Class Heroes (58 Responses) Not much changed from last year, other than green day getting more love, which is interesting to see! (Also, wanted to note that i did forget to include panic!... however less than 10 people wrote them in as an 'other', so results were not affected by that oversight!)

Question 22:

These last questions are all this or that style ones, with our first pairing being disloyal order and hum hallelujah: 1. Disloyal Order (762 Responses) 2. Hum Hallelujah (588 Responses) Interestingly, last year this match-up was a solid tie. Clearly, opinions have changed to make disloyal order sweep!

Question 23:

Our second this or that pit snitches and talkers vs you're crashing: 1. You're Crashing (808 Responses) 2. Snitches And Talkers (542 Responses) These were the top two underrated songs last year, so it's interesting to see which one is truly preferred!

Question 24:

Our last this or that, and last question, put centuries and my songs head to head: 1. My Songs Know (977 Responses) 2. Centuries (373 Responses) All the commentary I will provide is saying: is centuries even overrated anymore with it getting destroyed like this.... fkjdsnfks

And with that, the 2024 fob census comes to a close! If you've read this far or, really, participated at all in this in any way, I want to say thank you again! and that I hope you had fun with it, and that these results were interesting to look through! Also, will throw out there, I worked very hard on this and would appreciate a rb if you read all the way through it! <3 If you have any questions about any data or questions, want to see more in depth results or commentary or analysis from me, feel free to shoot me an ask/dm! See you next year for year 5! :-3

[thedvilsinthedetails]

rosekiller microfic band au pt3

heyyy pt3 is here yayyy

I haven’t rlly read it thru again and I’m feeling pretty tired today so if there’s a quality dip that’s why but also we have some nice Barty POV which I find easier to write sooo balances out ig

also we have some Marlene in this one (u can thank @good-oldfashioned-lover-girl because I wasn’t gonna put her in but she loves Marls [not that I don’t] to and yk she’s the boss so 🫡🫡🫡 Marlene is in the fic and I’m actually glad bc I love her part in this)

oh also Reg is autistic in this [in my mind] so when I mention him wearing headphones it’s bc he wears headphones on public transport/often in public/during gigs to help block noise <3

oh also all the skittles have matching nail polish and little tattoos on their wrists (idk if I actually mention it here but just so u have it in ur mind)

Tags for ppl that (I think?) wanted to be tagged <3 : @depressedtheatrekiddo @blu3stars @picklerab23 @lady-stardust-incarnate @always-reading @no-names-work @y0url0verb0y @2bluetwo85 @idk-what-to-put-here-123 @weirdtinkerbellversion @lulublack90 @nikholascrow (please please do tell me if you don’t want to be tagged bc idm and obviously won’t be upset but I just don’t want to tag ppl that don’t actually want to be tagged so I’m just sort of guessing by who commented last time so um yeah)

Link to previous part

link to part one

link to next part

(Cw: lil bit of homophobia in here sorry)

***

By the time the train arrived at their station both Barty and Evan had dozed off. Arms wrapping around each other, bodies curled into one another like a jigsaw puzzle. Evan didn’t wake up as gently as he fell asleep though because he was woken by Regulus kicking his seat aggressively. Once he finally opened his eyes he turned to face him. He was wearing his headphones, big and black originally but covered in splodges of spray paint from when Barty had offered to ‘customise‘ them for Regulus. He’d pushed them back though, now that the majority of people has filtered out of the little compartment.

“Hurry up and get your stuff.”

Regulus ordered before following Pandora and Dorcas who had already left.

Evan turned and tapped Barty gently to wake him up. Then when that didn’t work he shook him till he opened his eyes with a start. 

It took Barty a moment to realise where he was but even once he did he just grumbled.

“Ev don’t make me get up, please.”

He pouted, eyes wide and dilated in some kind of cheap attempt at cuteness.

“Come on you know you have to get up baby- Barty!”

Evan gaped, realising his mistake just too late. A slip of the tongue and he’d gone and fucked everything up.

“D’you just call me baby?”

A grin spread on Barty’s face and he poked Evan gently and laughed.

“You’ve been single too long Rosier.”

“You- you’re not mad?”

“Why would I be mad, baby?”

Barty winked, clicking his tongue as he got up and shuffled past Evan with a wicked smirk.

•••

Barty was going insane. 

Evan had called him baby. Baby. And fuck his reaction had been visceral. But like…in a good way? It made him want to bite down on something hard but that thing was the muscles on Evan’s arms. Or bruise something but that thing was Evan’s neck…with a hickey or two. 

Something about the way it had slipped out so naturally, so warmly. It just made Barty’s heart flutter. Made him want to grab Evan and shake the sense out of him enough to like Barty. Something along the lines of ‘kiss me, ruin me, dear God I’m begging you.’ Ah well, nothing you can’t really do about these kinds of situations except get on with it. Lying was something Barty had gotten very good at from a young age and not stopped since. Some might call it acting but those were the types of people who were just trying to convince themselves they were good and moral. Barty didn’t really care enough about that kind of stuff to bother. White lies this and how it contrasts with malicious lies that, like someone trying to section off a gradient in two. You can’t, it’s all the same monochrome blur in the end. 

Barty was lost in this little daydream when he heard Pandora roar.

“WHAT?!”

Now Pandora didn’t often roar, maybe laugh maniacally every now and then yes, but yell? Scream? That was never her type of thing. Save for some rare occasions that Barty could probably count on one hand. Pandora yelling meant it was time to stop daydreaming about Evan’s curls or Evan’s hands with their chipped green nail polish or Evan’s fucking tight t shirts. Yeah time to stop thinking about that and listen up. So he did.

“I do not intend to offend anyone by it.”

Riddle raised his hands up defensively with a cheap sleazy smile that immediately made Barty dislike him.

“I’m just saying that this venue prides itself on a distinct lack of…untoward behaviour. It’s not a massive deal, I think your lead and backup singers can use separate microphones for two nights of a six month tour. 

“What the fuck man?”

Barty stepped forward immediately hands curling into fists, Riddle was pretty short, he could definitely take him if that’s what it came to.

“Barty stop, that isn’t the right way to solve things. Come on let’s just- let’s come back later ok? See if we can talk to someone else, not this piece of shit.”

Dorcas spat out the last three words as she pulled Barty back to the group.

He was going to argue till he felt Evan put a hand on his shoulder, instead he just left Evan guide him away after the rest of the group.

“We’ll figure it out ok?”

“Fucking- Ev we can’t play there. They’re fucking homophobic.”

“Barty the O2 has been your dream since-“

“I DONT BLOODY CARE!”

“Barty shut the fuck up. I said we’ll talk about it and we will, we will figure it out but stop acting like a goddamn CHILD.”

Barty looked over at Evan who had his teeth bared, slightly wild look in his eyes. He was seething too, clearly. Just more mature than Barty.

“Ok, yeah.”

He breathed in.

“I’m sorry Ev.”

“Hey it’s alright. It’s just important the band shows a united front against this you know? We can’t split up or in fight because then, well then we all lose.”

“Yeah. Yeah you’re right Rosie. But we will do something.”

“I promise you they’re not getting away with this.”

Evan nodded. He tossed a hand over Barty’s shoulder, pulling him in just a little bit closer as they walked. Barty wasn’t complaining. 

•••

“You don’t get it Marls, we can’t just not play the O2. We’d lose way too much money off it, probably too much to be able to continue with the rest of the tour. Plus venues will think we’re unreliable and might cancel or pull out. Riddle is such a fucking dick, he only told us when we went there for a tech practice literally today.”

“Fuck yeah that’s shitty.”

Marlene was sat next to Barty on the floor of his hotel room, helping him repaint his nails. The entire band had them matching, a bright toxic green, his had started to fade though. 

“What if you just…ignore them? Do it anyway?”

“Yeah, yeah. It’s not like they can drag us off stage mid performance.”

“Not without exposing their homophobia.”

“Still…I wanna make a statement. Something big you know? Show them they can’t straight wash us.”

Marlene looked up at Barty, eyes twinkling mischievously.

“I might have an idea then.”

•••

Evan was sat in an alcove in the hotel corridor watching Regulus patiently braid and unbraid Pandora’s hair on the sofa opposite him. It calmed them both down whenever they were stressed. And Barty and Marlene, locked up together in Barty’s hotel room. Both raging homosexuals dead set on never following rules talking amongst themselves just before the biggest gig of the band’s history? Yeah that was a reason to be stressed. That’s when he heard the tell tale clump of Barty’s docs down the corridor. And he was walking with purpose.

As soon as he came into view Evan noticed the way his eyebrows were knotted together yet his eyes were glimmering with excitement. Evan had no clue what Barty was going to say next but it wasn’t that.

“Marlene thinks I should kiss you.”

Barty announced and Evan dropped his jaw, staring at him agape.

“What?”

“And I agree with her.”

“What?”

***

OK HOPE U LIKED IT

xxx BYEEEE

pt4 probs gonna come soon bc I swear this fic has a life of its own

[thecapricunt1616]

Blue Lotus - SxC Fic - Chapter 2

♡ Summary: Carmy & Syd go horseback riding!!! Carmy's therapy friends push him to go for what he wants, his 'light at the end of the tunnel'

♡ W/C: 6,534

♡ Posted Date: 04/07/2024

♡ A/N: Hayoooo!!! I am too inspired... this has become a multi-chap fic hahaha I am havin' so much fun here!! Thank you @gingergofastboatsmojito for inspiring me to keep going!!! ILY! As per usual please know - this fic was inspired by THIS FIC here - Tucson by the GLORIOUS GINGER!!!! Go read that before you even THINK about reading this fic ok?! I love how I hate storer for the same reasons but im a sucker for writing a slowburn - I find myself screaming at MYSELF internally "make them kiss already!!!!" but they will KISSSS SHORTLY SO SHORTLY MY DEARSSSS !!! It will be a JUICY TAYLOR SWIFT DAYLIGHT ASS KISS OK!!!! THEY WILL ONLY SEE EACHOTHER FROM THEN ON!!!! Its gonna be a 'and I can still see it all in my mind all of you all of me intertwined I USED TO THINK LOVE WOULD BE BLACK AND WHITE BUT ITS GOLDENNNNNNN. We need Carmy to realize a few more things but then - he will be hozier level devoted to this woman even more then he already is, I hope you enjoy!!

♡ Warnings for BTC: Not really any? Like? LOL - Swearing?! Smoking cigarettes?! They just went horseback riding & carmy went to therapy- oh Ig talks of carmy getting hard LMAO but thats as crazy as we get this chapter. ➵ 𝐂𝐡𝐞𝐜𝐤 𝐨𝐮𝐭 𝐦𝐲 𝐌𝐚𝐬𝐭𝐞𝐫𝐩𝐨𝐬𝐭 ♡ ➵ 𝐂𝐚𝐭𝐜𝐡 𝐮𝐩 𝐨𝐧 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐋𝐚𝐬𝐭 𝐂𝐡𝐚𝐩𝐭𝐞𝐫 ♡

Stardust nudges his shoulder so hard he almost falls over, and he turns to look at her. His heart jumped into his throat, his mouth suddenly feeling dry. She was there, she was really there. 

“Uh-” he blinked a few times, to be sure that she wouldn’t disappear. “Syd? Hey..uh-” he felt his entire body buzzing with excitement. He couldn’t help the smile that took over his features. She looked… gorgeous. Carmen wasn’t sure there actually was a word in any human language ever to exist that could describe just how wonderful she looked. 

Her hair was in its natural state, she was wearing an adorable corduroy jacket, black jeans, and white sneakers. “You came to a farm…in those?” he motions to her shoes. 

She laughs a bit “Wow- it’s great to see you too, Carm. Didn’t realize you were…actually like living on a farm” she approached him carefully. 

“Shit- yes- fuck- It’s its so good to see you, Syd, C’mere” he pulls her into a tight, long hug. The smell of her lavender vanilla perfume nearly made him melt. 

“You’re like…tan- and…muscley now” She laughs a bit, squeezing his arm lightly. 

“Uh..” he pulled away, cheeks bright red. “Yeah uh.. It's like- fuckin hard t’ride a horse. And the um…” he rubbed his neck nervously “The uh cows.. They eat hay? Most the time, and so we need to move the bales during the morning for em, they’re like…. 75? 80 pounds? So moving like 10 back and forth every day helps. And I dont really.. Go inside? Here? Its like… uh.. Thats the therapy mostly, the animals- at least f’me” he said sheepishly. 

She nodded, looking around the stable. “That one behind you is yours? Shes been side-eying me creepily since I started talking” she pointed to Stardust. 

“Oh! Fuck sorry yea, well- no…not- not mine- I got ‘er t’trust me. But uh, yeah this is Stardust. She’s a super sweet girl” He explained. Stardust leaned in, sniffing Syds hair carefully. 

“Cute- All you’re missing is a hat” She teased.

He chuckled a bit,  “Ok, c’mon - why are you here, Syd” He said with a small smile, crossing his arms over his chest.

She shrugged, looking at the ground and kicking a rock out of the way with her shoe. “Cause…I was worried- I dunno…” She definitely wasn't going to get bold and tell him that she’d missed him, terribly.

“Ok…well now that y’here, and y’see i’m okay…wanna have some fun?” He asked, a small smile on his lips.

Syd looked back up at him, as if he had 3 heads. “Okay- Where is Carmen Berzatto- Not his… Weird alien clone- Camren Brazota” she said, laughing a bit “what do you mean fun?” She asked, and Carmy laughed, real, and genuine. 

“Well- If I didn’t change my view a little I’d never leave. So, yes, Syd, ‘a little fun never hurt noone’ - per my therapist. Shes fuckin annoying. I much prefer the horses.” He pet Star’s mane and she leaned into his touch.

“Holy shit” Syd laughed a bit. “Wow- alright. I feel like you’re a whole new man already, what kind of fun?” she mused. 

“Ever ridden a horse?” he walked over to the saddle rack, pulling off a double seated one and hanging it over the back of the stall door. 

“No- Actually, Don’t I need um…like - stuff for it?” she asked. 

“Oh don’t think I wont give you the full experience” he opened the riding closet, “Whats your shoe size?” he asked, crouching down and looking through the pairs of extras. 

“8? Er- 9 probably 9” she said. He dug through them until he found a matching pair.

“These should do, y’stuff is cool here we can just leave it in her stall” he told her, holding out his arm for her to hold while she switched her shoes.

“You seem like…” she said as she slipped off her sneaker and put on the boot. “I dunno…chill- well- i wont go that far- but chill-er then before.” Carm snorted a laugh, holding on to her arm to steady her. 

“Thanks? I guess..that’s good right?” He asked. 

“Yeah! Yeah of course…I mean, it’s nice. To see you not so…anxious.” She said, slipping the other boot on. 

“Yeah I um…” he cleared his throat, opening the stall door. “I uh..I’m takin meds- Now? Uh..all this shit. Y’know they have me like tranquilized more then these guys” he said and she laughs, Carmen smiled proudly at the fact, relishing in the wonderful sound. 

“But yeah like Like 3 er..er 4. they say I had all this uh..mental shit. Goin’ on w’me and that’s why I was all…wound up I guess” he explained, calling Star out and getting her harness situated. 

Syd caught herself staring at his arms as he worked, how the toned muscle moved beneath the fabric of the shirt. 

“Aren’t you freezing?” She asked, noticing he wasn’t wearing a jacket like she was. 

“Used to it now, well- I mean the moving around. It gets hot this shit is heavy. Wanna try to hold the saddle?” He asked, unhooking the saddle from the stall door where he’d left it momentarily. 

“It can’t be that bad” she countered. 

“I think this thing weighs probably as much as you do.” He said “hold out your arms” he smiled a bit. 

She lifted her arms out in front of her and he plops the saddle down, she had to plant one of her feet forward so she didn’t fall face first due to the sudden weight and he laughed, catching the saddle quickly and baring most the weight. 

“Told you” he teased. 

She rolled her eyes “yeah whatever. Saddle up the horse, cowboy” she dropped the saddle back in his arms. He hurled the saddle over Stars back with a grunt. 

“Fuckin hell” he huffed, realizing since the saddle was nearly double the weight as his usual, and being on the shorter end- he couldn’t just get it on her when she was standing straight. “Bow” he told the horse and she just stared at Sydney. 

“Don’t embarrass me, Star. Bow” he told her and she looked the other way. 

“So uhhh…this one’s trained, huh?” Sydney teased. 

Carmen looked back at her “mmhmm maybe she doesn’t like strangers” he said, walking over to the other side. 

“Since she’s bein difficult y’gonna have T’help. C’mere” he waved her over and she followed. “So when I push it up, just grab the saddle pad and make sure it doesn’t move, yea?” He asked. 

“The fuck is a saddle pad, dude- I know my way around a kitchen not a fuckin horse stable.” She looked at the many different layers the horse was already wearing. 

“Alright. So this,” he lifted the cloth, “is her blanket. Keeps her core warm. And beneath it” he pats the pad “this is her saddle pad, it makes it more comfortable. So our bones aren’t like..diggin in her back and shit. Also shock, when she jumps the foam of it helps our weight disperse. The saddle is so big and heavy I can’t keep the pad still at the same time, so just hold it f’me,” he took her hand, guiding it to where he wanted her to hold. 

She felt her heartbeat quicken, his hands were so large and calloused on top of her own. She nodded wordlessly, keeping her eyes trained on where she was meant to be holding and focusing on keeping it steady as he went back around and carefully lifted up the heavy saddle with a grunt, laying it over the horses back. 

“Jesus- how much can this thing carry” Syd asked. 

“Well she is a mare, she weighs about…mmm- 1900? She can comfortably hold about 400 pounds for a decent distance but she can’t do that for hours and hours at a time. We together can’t be more then 300, and her gear is less then 100 pounds. Were just goin f’r a quick ride, I gotta get to therapy at 3” he explained as he buckled on her saddle. 

“Ah. So you’ve been memorizing horse information instead of creating recipes? I figured when I got here you’d have gone nuts by now without being in a kitchen so long” she gently touched the horses mane as she spoke. 

“Maybe. Well…I am kinda goin crazy? But I can’t…let it out?” He chuckled a bit “does that make sense? Nights are a little hard before my sleep meds kick in but that just says I haven’t done enough that day” he got up. “So y’gettin up first since I’m sittin in back” he explained. 

“Oh…uh- ok how do I?” She asked looking up at the at least 7 foot tall animal. 

“Y’not gonna be able to do it alone. C’mere” he told her. She comes over and looks at him. 

“How the fuck do you do this?” She looked up at the saddle that was at the top of her head before looking back at him. 

“So-“ he snorts a laugh at her wide confused expression. “She’s not gonna like you trying to roll up on her back, and I don’t want you t’get thrown off, she can be moody with new people. I almost broke my shoulder my first time trying to ride her” he said and she crossed her arms slightly. 

“So how. How do I get up there?” She asked. He pulled out a step stool, setting it next to the horse and getting up on the third step. 

“I’m giving you a lift. Arms up” he said with a playful smirk. 

“No- no way- Carmen that’s too high. You’ll drop me!!” She took a step back, feeling slightly nervous. 

“I won’t because I’ll bribe her Syd. C’mere” he pulled a pack of peep marshmallows out of his pocket and the horse nearly starts dancing. 

“Carm- what the fuck is happening?” She asked and Carmy chuckled. 

“Bow. Cmon Syd wants t’ride. Bow and you’ll get y’treat star.” He told the horse. 

It obediently bowed down and before Syd could process what was happening, Carm was scooping her up beneath her arms Syd squealed in surprise. “Oh my GOD WHY ARE YOU PICKING ME UP!” She shrieked, wiggling in his arms. 

“open y’legs! Cmon! she’s gonna get up!!!” Carmen laughed holding her up higher. Syd finally obeyed and he gently plopped her on the first saddle. “Good girl” he told the horse, feeding her the marshmallow and putting the packet in his pocket again before swiftly getting on behind Syd. 

“Alright. Hard part done.” He reached around her waist, and she lifted her arms slightly. 

“What- can you tell me what’s going on? I’m a horse virgin!” She said, and they both went quiet for a moment, before cracking up laughing. Syd leaned to her left slightly as she tried catching her breath, grabbing the rein for stability and tugging. 

Star took off sprinting, Syd screamed in surprise, her body going tight with fear. Carmen quickly wrapped his arms around Syds waist protectively, tugging on the reigns “WOOOOAH!” He called to Star and she quickly came to a stop. 

“Stand.” He told the horse firmly. 

“What the fuck Carm I thought she was trained!” Syd exclaimed, gripping onto his forearms for dear life. 

“I gotchu, you think I’d let her kick you off?” He tightened his arms around her. Carmen swore his heart was thumping so hard that she felt it on her shoulder blade. 

“Also when she moves it’s hard to keep still.” She said nervously. 

“Don’t worry, I gotchu, Syd. Lean into me, if our weight is centered then it’ll be easier for all 3 of us” he gently pushed at her stomach. 

She leaned back into his broad chest, “see” he said softly. He was lucky the angle didn’t allow for her to see him, because his face was bright red, And having her body pressed against his…was making him flush somewhere else too. 

He clicked his tongue and Stardust started walking again, at an easy comfortable trot. “This…is ok.” She said, much more comfortable now. 

“I’m gonna take you t’one of my favorite spots.” He said, pulling on the reins to the left lightly so she would follow the left trail. 

“Wow, already sharing secret spots huh? I think this therapist may just be Doctor of the year I don’t even think I’ve seen your favorite Chicago spots” she teased. 

Carm laughed a bit, he felt so much lighter with Syd around. And life had been lighter ever since he got here. 

“How is…uh- how is it back home?” He cleared his throat lightly. It was something that had being weighing on him. Yes, he was here, he was doing the thing. He was making Sugar happy. He was making Syd happy…but he would go back, at some point. 

And his biggest fear was things will just go right back. He won’t have this outlet, he won’t have sunset rides with Stardust to ease his mind. He won’t have the cows happily running up to him and greeting him when he was the first one to bring out a bale of hay. He felt like if he was here, he may have the confidence to tell Syd how he feels. But back home? It was another life. 

“Fine..things are..y’know. The usual shit. But nothing bad, no one’s getting locked in any freezers if that’s what you mean” she said playfully. 

Carm rolled his eyes with a light smile. “Mmhmm. So the restaurant is-“ 

“Is fine.” She said. “I’d have told you. You know that.” She said and he nodded a bit. 

“I know she scared you back there…but it’s pretty fun to go fast. You wanna try?” He asked. 

She shifted a bit uncomfortably, her hands tightening around his arms that were holding the reins around her waist. “Uhh…maybe? Are you sure we won’t fall off?” She questioned. 

“I’m sure. Here you can be the one to control it. Start light ok? With your legs.” He gently ran his hands down her thighs to right below her knees “here” he said softly, squeezing the flesh gently so she wouldn’t have to lean and look. “With that part of your legs, give her a little squeeze. But really light, or we’ll take out of here like a bat out of hell” he held around her waist again, securely holding the reins. 

“Mmhmm” she said, she was beginning to feel hot- and not because she’d done any hard work in regards to getting the horse ready. 

“Alright. Whenever you’re ready, you’re the boss” he said the last part softly in her ear. If it wasn’t for her jacket, he would see the goosebumps that had risen on her arms. She nodded quickly, staring straight ahead and trying to maintain her composure. 

“So I just?” She squeezed gently and the horse picks up her speed slightly. “Oh…ok” she said. 

“Told y’she was trained” Carmy teased and she rolls her eyes. 

“Mmm you’ve done a very good job, bribing this horse with peeps. The staff know you do this?” She asked. Carmy snorted a laugh

“No. But she’s healthy. Made sure. She only gets one or 2 if she doesn’t listen.” He admitted. 

She shook her head with a smile. “And how’d you find this out, Carm?” She leaned into him once more. 

“I…” he laughed a bit, his chest vibrating with the movement and it made her heart warm. 

“I uh…spent a few days in the library here. Reading up. After she threw me off. It’s all about trust with em. So I never lied to ‘er and I’ve never done something she didn’t expect because I always try to warn her.” He said, pulling her reigns a bit tighter. 

“This is like a joyride Syd cmon, I said fast not an evening stroll.” He teased. 

“Fine. Mister horse master- show me what Miss Stardust can do.” She said. 

With 2 kisses and a quick tap of his heel, they were off like a rocket. He held Syd steady, being sure she wouldn’t have to do most the work of holding herself center as he gripped each reign with the opposite hand, holding them taught so Star knew to keep going. 

Syd laughed, the wind flicking her dark curls all around. He wished she could see her amused expression. “Holy shit this is the best!” She shouted over the loud thuds of Stars hoofbeats. 

“I know right! Can you believe she can go faster?” He said, holding his knees taut around her hips to keep her from sliding. 

“Okay we are not! This is fine!” She said and sat up a bit “are we going into the-” She asks as Star begins to barrel through a creek, the freezing water spraying up and around them getting them slightly wet, the freezing water splashing from their calves up to their cheeks.. “CARMY!” She screams through laughter. 

He could barely catch his breath as he laughed so hard his stomach and ribs ached. “I’m sorry!! Syd! Oh god-“ he chuckled “woah girl- woah” he called to the course and she slowed down once again to a stop. 

“Fuck-“ Carmen chuckled “you okay?” He asked, picking a wet leaf from her jacket and throwing it to the forest floor. 

“Yeah- I’m.. I’m fine. That was really fun actually. C’mon I wanna see the spot” she said and took it upon herself to tug the reins so Star would take off again

“Shi-it!” He quickly finds his balance, “warn me!! Oh god I almost flew off!!” He told her. 

“You think I’d let her throw you off?” She mimics him from earlier and he takes the chance to playfully pinch her waist 

“Yes because who’s in back and who’s in front?” He wrapped his arms around her again, taking the reins from her grasp. “Your reign privileges have been revoked for this riding lesson, Ms.Adamu”  

She laughed a bit “I’ll earn them back. Don’t worry” she mused. 

“Mmm we need to talk about more shit before I just literally hand the reins over. Coulda spooked her and we’d be fuckin dead.” he angled the outside reigns so she’d slow down as they came to the clearing. 

“Here we are” he hopped off, raising his arms to help her down. 

She carefully reached out for him and he lifted her off, gently setting her down. “Holy fuck Carmy” she turned around, watching the waterfall cascade down over the rocks. 

“Right! Told you. It’s a fire spot” he went over to one of the rocks he usually sat at, plopping down and taking out a cigarette. “Oh- shit- can’t have y’running off” he told Stardust and chuckled, leaving the cigarette between his lips as he walked over to her, guiding her over to the tree, and hooking her right rein around a branch before sitting back down. 

“Yeah…I can’t remember the last time I went somewhere so…” she trailed off, looking at all the trees and running water. 

“Green?” Carmy lit his cigarette, taking a drag. “Not packed with smog? Somewhere that doesn’t smell like shit.” He said as he exhaled. 

“…yeah” she said and laughed a bit. “Yeah. Guess that’s it.” She came and sat next to him. “What did you mean about her getting scared?” She asked curiously. 

“Oh- a scared horse will fucking kill you. Not on purpose, but they’re big and pure muscle, and will do anything to get away from danger. I scared the shit out of her one time, that was it. Dislocated my shoulder 8th day here. Doing that hurts like a bitch by the way.” He rolled his shoulder gently. 

“How’d you manage that? God I knew you were shit at chatting up girls but she dislocated your shoulder?” She teased. 

He rolled his eyes with a playful smile, taking another drag. “Yes, I was fuckin around on the trail, dunno why- but there was this branch sticking out so I grabbed it, it snapped, she fuckin reeeared dude. I flew back so hard. My back might still be bruised I’m not sure. Still hurts a little to laugh” he said. 

“You better have seen a doctor” she said. 

“Ohhh silly Syd.” He sighed, a puff of smoke filling the air in front of him. “We aren’t allowed to refuse treatment here. If you get hurt, and you refuse to get help, it’s considered self harm, which leads to them believing you have suicidal ideation, which leads to you being locked in the actual nuthouse. So yes. I willingly went to the doctor daily for a week. And now, I’m being checked on once a week. So yeah. Oh and therapy daily. And every day I’m given my meds and someone checks over ‘pre-existing injuries’ which that is now considered. So yeah. I’m good. I’m fuckin fine as fine can be.” He said. 

“Awww poor little chef, being taken care of so well that’s so hard isn’t it?” She teased and he gives her a playful glare, but couldn’t help but crack a smile when he realized she was smiling too. 

“I was being taken care of fine at home by myself but you and my sister just had to ship me off after one tiny accident” he leaned back on his hand, taking another drag of his cigarette. 

“It stops becoming an accident when you didn’t care, Carm. You didn’t care. It didn’t phase you. You weren’t even…you weren’t even scared. Just because you didn’t do it on purpose doesn’t mean you did the sane thing which would have been doing everything you could to not let something like that happen.” She said, her tone suddenly serious. 

He looked down at his lap, swallowing thickly. He suddenly felt all of the armor he’d spent the last 31 days chipping at, slowly start to meld back together and shell him back in at the shame the whole situation was making him feel. 

“I have nightmares…you know. About it. What happened” she said quietly, and he could physically feel his heart ripping open. 

The only sound between them was the bubbling stream, and the sounds of their even breaths. 

“I’m sorry.” He said quietly, gaze fixed on his lap knowing he would burst into tears at the admission she’d been so deeply plagued by something he’d done, if he had looked at her.

“I know” was all she said, gently resting her hand on top of his. He felt the same fireworks exploding in his chest that he only ever felt when she was around. 

“Do you um…” he clears his throat and shook his head, embarrassed by the question plaguing his mind. “Never mind it’s..it’s stupid.” He removed his hand, putting his cigarette in it and resting the hand opposite of her on the rock. 

“That usually means it’s not stupid. What?” She coaxed, bumping his knee with hers gently. 

“It’s stupid” he said again, shrugging his shoulders. 

“It can’t be stupider then asking me what UPS means” She said playfully. He rolled his eyes, smiling and looking over at her. 

“And what if it is?” He questioned. 

“I would be..worried they’re giving you a bad concoction of meds that’s turning your glorious chef brain in to Swiss cheese” she teased 

He snorts a laugh. “I was gonna ask..if you wanted to cook..t’night. My cabin…it uh- has a kitchen? I haven’t cooked in a month. They give us food so I haven’t really bothered but…seeing you makes me miss it more, I guess” he blushed, looking back down at his lap. 

“Well obviously. Not gonna let you eat whatever bullshit they’ve been giving you while I’m around.” She said and he shook his head, meeting her gaze once more with a playful smirk. 

“Maybe you should check in. My therapist says it’s bad apparently to feel ‘responsible for others’ - says it’s a ‘subconscious self harming behavior’ “ he teased. 

She smiled a bit. “Okay- say I do. How about, I check in now, we shoot the shit for what- eleven more days- then, you go back home- and see how stressful it is in that restaurant when one of your hands is basically missing” she plucked the cigarette bud he’d forgotten about from between his fingers before it burnt him, flicking it into the creek. 

“You know that’s the first time I’ve seen you smoke- other then…me like checking on you when you were about to explode at work. But you’ve never…pulled one out and smoked it I guess” she said, pulling her knees to her chest and resting her cheek on her forearm as she looked at him. 

“Oh…” he said, pulling one of his legs up and resting his arm on it. “Didn’t realize you noticed” he said, brushing some dirt off his jeans. 

“I notice a lot of stupid shit about you, it’s kinda annoying honestly.” She said without thinking, her eyes widening when she realized and she looked the other way, resting her other cheek on her knee and squeezing her eyes shut. 

Why would you ever say that?! She asked herself internally. 

“Oh?” He said again, smiling a bit. “You do?” He questions, but that was as far as he’d push. 

“Mhm” was all she responded. Carmys phone started buzzing in his pocket and he pulled it out in case it was one of the ‘base keepers’ they called them. Carmy rather call them babysitters. He knew what they were for, being sure if they were out of sight too long they were making sure they could still get ahold of them. 

He sighed in relief when he saw it was just his 2:40 alarm. “Gotta go” he stood up, offering his hand to Syd. “Like- now. Or my ass is getting chewed out.” 

The ride back to the cabins was mostly silent. He had no stool this time, so he had to pick up Syd essentially by the ass and gently place her on Stars back so she didn’t get spooked. 

He was embarassed as fuck that the tiny action had the crotch region of his jeans tightening more then was casually explainable. Thank god no one was around to see him awkwardly hop in the way of his semi hard third leg down his left pant leg, grunting but covering it with a dry cough when she settled her ass back into him to ‘center their gravity’ 

Syd absolutely felt the firmness pressing into her ass. She thought it was a bit funny, but also brushed it off to the strange friction that came with riding a horse. She couldn’t allow herself to fully believe his teenage like excitement was due to her, or she’d go insane. 

Carmy dropped Syd off at his cabin, giving her the key and telling her he’d put up Stardust and be back by 5, she would be blushing if it weren’t for her mahogany complexion at the domesticity of it all - er what she could imagine domesticity with Carmy would feel like. 

Her panties were also soaked through from the feeling of his enormous length pressed into the curve of her ass - the entire way back - but she just chalked that up to not getting laid for a few months, and misreading his natural arousal for him being horny- she quickly pushed the thought down and just chalked it up to the horse. Because guys get hard when they ride horses…right? Right?!

Carmen arrived to therapy extremely frustrated, and extremely ready to talk. He sat down in his regular spot in the back, tapping his knee nervously and covering his crotch with his hands. Luckily, thinking about his mother was enough to make him soft nearly instantly so he had that to thank her for at least. 

“Alright guys!” Julienne, the usual Friday therapist came in, sitting in her spot in the circle. “Who is up today! We are-“ she looks at her iPad “oh! Yes this is another OP class, so- no pressure but, I wanna hear what’s goin on!” She crossed her legs. 

Julie was far from his favorite therapist, at Blue Lotus. But he wasn’t his least favorite. So he would still talk. He cleared his throat, raising his hand slightly. 

“Carmy?! What a treat! Okay what’s up” she grabbed her little stylus pencil. He bit the inside of his lip nervously. He despised how casual she tried to make this all feel. 

“Uh…so- my um…business partner, she came to see me. I guess I haven’t been…keeping touch? Enough? She just said she was worried…” he cleared his throat again, gaze fixed on his lap. “And uh…I’m startin’ t’-t’realize stuff?” He sniffled nervously, rubbing his mouth with slightly clammy, nervous hands. 

“She uh..” he chuckled a bit. “She…she just…showed up. Didn’t hear shit from ‘er. She probably knew that I’d uh…I’d tell ‘er no?” He finally meets the gaze of Julie. 

“Okay. You know guests are allowed right? Like- during the visiting hours, 6am to 11pm, no fraternizing between patients but-“ Carmen cuts her off

“We aren’t - no. Not fraternizing” He shook his head. “But uh…today? We were- we were sitting. This spot, near uh, Jupiter point? On the north side. And I had this- this urge T-to tell her…everything.” He shook his head, looking at the floor again. 

“So…you wanted to tell her you love her?” Jesse, one of the guys he’d had lunch with a few times piped up. 

“T’be honest, I don’t know.” Carmen said honestly, looking at him. 

“Well what does it feel like?” Jesse asked, sitting up a bit. 

“What? Like- what does what feel like?” Carmen asked curiously. 

“Her. Being with her. Talking to her? Inside. Like. Your chest. Your skin?” He questioned. 

“Uh…” Carmen sat back, swallowing thickly and crossing his arms over his chest. He thought for a moment. 

“Hot. I get hot. All over. My chest feels tight but - but good? Like- a hug almost. And then…when she…” he blushed, looking down with a shy smile. “When she touches me” he shook his head slightly. “When she touches me it’s like um.. fireworks? Like fireworks beneath my skin.” He chuckled a bit at how cheesy it sounded. 

“And you haven’t fucking nailed her?” Jessie asked plainly. 

Carmen furrowed his brows, glaring at him. “No” he clenched his jaw “I haven’t.” He snips. 

“Dude- you are- pussy whipped with no pussy?! You- you love her, Carmen. You love this chick. I feel like I’m looking in a weird straight mirror - the first time-“ he laughed a bit “the first time I kissed a guy- god. He was so hot. But I had no idea! I had no idea. I really thought that I was just-“ he shook his head “that I was just wanting to befriend him? Or something? But like- I wanted to fuck him. And when I did kiss him? Something unlocked in my brain dude. It was like…like a whole new world. I felt like I knew - I knew what love could feel like? Just ‘cause of that one kiss “ he shrugged. 

Carmen looked at him, arms crossed, trying to absorb everything he was saying even though every fiber of his former self was screaming to take it with nothing more than a grain of salt. 

“Kiss her dude. Kiss her.” Jesse said and sat back in his chair. 

“Well. Although, consensual sexual instances are against the code of conduct to discuss - I am very proud to see you two coming out of your shells. Has anyone else felt… confused in their romantic endeavors and would like to share?” Julie asked. 

Carmen crossed his arms tighter, looking down at his lap. This was quite unusual for him, he was one of the patients to only add what he had to to be credited during inpatient, and during outpatient - only spoke when he really and honestly had to. 

“Uh-“ the super tall girl, Shayna sits up. Carmen was never really sure why she was here. She looked…perfect by all means. Perfect skin, perfect nails, pretty face, long blonde hair, a perfect body by girl standards. Or at least what Carmen had understood of them.

 “Not really the same.. but before I came out? I like…I would uh buy…girl clothes. That I liked. For my girlfriends at the time…” she blushed “and um.. I realized after a while that I liked them. And I wasn’t just..wanting to see my girlfriend in them. And like- it’s not the exact same, but when he said… about how Jesse realized he wanted the guy. That’s how I felt when I finally tried the clothes on” she shrugged. 

Carmen was…aghast. He just simply stared at her. He’d never met- or thought-  he’d ever met a trans person before today. But…Shayna? 

Well- he was wrong because he had met her, they actually knew each other fairly well as far as patients go, she joined the program when he did. When they first met, she’d made a joke about how they were the tallest girl and shortest guy in the class, so that meant they were bound to be friends, since opposites attract - and that earned a chuckle out of him before his meds had even fully evened out. 

“I love the cis-and-confused look- it’s cute” she said and laughed a bit. Carmen blushed, smiling a bit. 

“Not confused- well, maybe. Maybe a little. Y’Just so…dainty? I dunno..” he shrugged. 

“In case you haven’t noticed- mr.little man syndrome- you’re only one out with the cows doing the hay on time in the morning. Ninty percent of the group is your version of dainty ” Jesse teased. 

“Jesse” Julie gives him the look. “I’d assume that means- the rest of you that aren’t out helping with the bales- are scraping out the cow pens? Since Carmen is doing all the hard work according to you.” 

“I’m not girl- fuck no! The second I got out of inpatient house arrest? I walked my happy ass down to Walmart and bought me some blackout curtains. I recommend those to all of you! Oh my god and some ear plugs!! The stupid fucking roosters! Worst 15 days of my lifeee! I’m never coming back here peace and love to you all though. Truly. Can’t stand this cow shit stank ass place.”  Shayna said dramatically, causing Carmen to chuckle a bit.

 He had loved her boldness since they’d met. If Shayna didn’t want to do something- she wasn’t doing it. He learned that the day the staff tried to force her on anti-depressants. One of the main therapists got a Wellbutrin straight to the eye, they never attempted that battle the same way again. 

“We know Shayna you aren’t shoveling scat, princesses don’t do that” Jesse mocked her valley girl tone. 

“Okay! Okay. Alriiiight! Back on track- done with the bickering!” Julie said. “Now that open call is over let’s move on to breakthroughs. This issss-“ she looks at her iPad “ah- yes! D group. So. That makes it-“ he checks her watch “ah- right. 11 days! How are your light tunnel projects going?” She questioned. 

Carmen’s chest tightened, but not in the Syd is smiling or he made Syd laugh way- in the - I haven't done something I was meant to do way. 

The Light Tunnel project wasn’t hard. It was simply one thing you have done that you had wanted to do when you came into the program. And Carmy knew what his answer was, 

Admit how he felt to Sydney. 

Or, as his Therapist- Mandy told him ‘become more truthful with yourself and those you know about how you feel’ because “counting on someone to like him back would put him at square one” he had pretended to understand, but knew that he had to tell her and soon - or he was going to really go insane. 

“ my light tunnel was to talk to my asshole father- but lucky for me I just caught wind the motherfucker finally died thank god. So by default I win and don’t have to be here anymore cause his abandonment was what fucked me up anyhow“ Shayna said jokingly, causing Carm to snort a laugh. He knew she was only joking about the leaving early part, not the father part. Her father was an even bigger piece of shit then Carmen’s was, he had come to learn.

“Mmm that isn’t how it works we know that Shayna. We’ll talk more about this in one to one “ Julie told her and Shayna crossed her long legs, looking out the window. 

The last 20 minutes of the session Carmen sat silently, looking out the opposite window to Shayna, watching the horses running around in the field before they got called in for dinner and just spacing out, thinking about what he may say to Syd. 

“Yo - Carm space cadet” Shayna said before kicking his boot he jumped a bit, looking up at them both and had realized the room since had cleared and Julie was preparing for her next session. 

“Shit.” He said “how long have I been like…like that?” He asked, his cheeks feeling hot. 

“It’s the OCD meds. They get you stuck in a happy thought loop sometimes. Are you just gonna sit here? You wanna do another hour of this with sniveling group a? They got here three days ago.” Jesse said. Carm shook his head, getting up. 

“No- no sorry” he said starting with them outside. Shayna laughed a bit 

“You were thinking of screwing that business partner aren’t you. “ she said, causing Carmys cheeks to go pinker. 

“Shayna shut up!” Jesse scolded, pushing her shoulder lightly. 

“Awwww carmyyy are your feelings hurt little buddy? Do you need a hug? Jesus men are such pussys” she pushed open the doors of the therapy cabin for them. 

“Let me see pictures of this hot chick. If you don’t fuck her I will and I bet I’d do a better job” Shayna teased as they started heading back towards the cabins. 

Carmen couldn’t even process what she said as he felt his breath get caught in his chest, he saw her. She was sitting on the porch of his cabin, criss-cross in one of the rocking chairs as she writes in her notebook. He couldn’t help but stop and stare at the way the setting sun hit her bronze skin, her curls casting intricate patterned shadows on the wood. He felt his heart pick up, his chest squeezing in that way, the way that only happened when he saw her. 

Shayna and Jesse stopped after a few moments when they realized Carm had gotten stuck behind. They both follow his gaze carefully to see what he was so fixed on, like a trance. 

“Holy fuuuck!!! Holy fuck how did I get this lucky!! She’s here? She’s here still?!” Shana asked excitedly, “oh my god- you’re getting laid- tonight” she excitedly skips up to the cabin and Syd looks up, locking eyes with her before seeing Carmen just a few paces behind.  “I’m Shayna! Do you and Carm wanna hang out with us tonight?”

➵ 𝐍𝐞𝐱𝐭 𝐂𝐡𝐚𝐩𝐭𝐞𝐫 ♡♡♡

[yourlocalpickle]

Now that the artfight winners were announced (TEAM STARDUST RHAHHH) here's some of the attacks I made (don't have all the files or credits on me rn, so possible follow-up might happen idk

@firefries <33 buddy, friend, pal even. Lets go slavs

These 2 were made for a friend on instagram (lunarjaguar) she is SO epic (https://www.instagram.com/lunarjaguar?igsh=MXI2dzVrenA1am03Mw==)

And a lass for another homie, that I'm surprised doesn't have a tumblr yet, so also go check him out on ig too <3

https://www.instagram.com/hasan_hussain2000?igsh=amduMjdudmowNTV3

Genuinely had so much fun drawing these bad boys, and stretching my art muscles. Got even more attacks to post, dw, tried rendering some sketches, lineless, and even a small comic hehe

[ladytauria]

💖 and 🧠 from the ask game <33

💖 What do you like most about your own writing?

my writing voice! i used to hate re-reading my own writing but now i can do so comfortably, even when i pick up on mistakes i missed or things i would change <3

i'm also fairly proud of my imagery, lol. that was something i worked hard to develop, and while i DO forget to like... describe things still when im writing, when i do remember/go back to add that in i feel more confident in my results lol

🧠 What’s an idea you have that you can’t quite call a WIP yet?

i have SO MANY of these

okay. i counted up the ones i have fleshed out outlines for, since there's more to talk about, and then i rolled a die <3

so! it's a jaytim fic inspired by the lyric, "why do you make me want to leave the world behind?" from the song stardust by new politics. the rest of the song doesn't actually fit, & i'll probs end up not using that line as the title, lol.

my outline for it is almost more of a not-fic than an outline, so... i'll just paste that in here, ig. pls excuse my brackets <3

why do you make me want to leave the world behind?

Jason couldn’t tell you what the final straw was. Maybe it was the last argument he got into with Bruce. Maybe it was hearing Joker’s laugh, again, echoing through the streets of Gotham. Maybe it was the gunshot he took to the shoulder, a few weeks ago. It— The point is, it could have been any number of things. Whatever the final straw, one thing is clear: he can’t do this any more.

And it’s not that he wants to abandon Crime Alley, or his people, it’s just—

He’s tired. He’s been tearing himself apart for the mission since he was twelve. He died, even—only to come back and keep doing it. And now… He’s just… done. He wants to live, and he can’t do that when the mission controls his life. He needs out.

Thing is…

He can’t leave Tim.

Tim is… somewhere along the way, Tim has become his rock. They’ve moved in together. When Jason suits up, Tim is at his side. When Tim needs stitches, it’s Jason holding the needle. When Jason comes home, knuckles bruised and lip split, it’s Tim there with the ice pack. And when they’re finished tending each other’s wounds, large and small, they fall into bed together—sore but together.

Jason doesn’t want to give that up.

He knows Tim won’t leave Gotham. Knows that Tim views Robin/Red Robin as the most important thing he’s ever done, the thing that gives him purpose, makes him feel real. He can’t ask him to leave it. He can’t.

But he’s not sure he can stay, either.

It’s a big, tangled mess, and Jason is no closer to figuring out what to do when Tim approaches him one evening. He sits down with him, holding his tablet, looking like he’s got something on his mind. He doesn’t bother with much preamble.

“My parents bought a place in [idk, some nice coastal or country area] a long time ago. A small vacation home, I think. It was one of those things we didn’t lose when Dad went bankrupt. I think… It looks like a nice place to retire, don’t you think so?”

Jason can hardly believe what he’s hearing, even as he agrees with feeling. He has to pinch himself once or twice, as they start making plans. They’re as methodical about it as they are everything else, hashing out all the details. It doesn’t feel real; not even when they inform the others, not when they start packing. Not even when they finally make the move, or unpack, or settle into the house.

It’s not until the second morning that it starts to sink in. This is real. It’s happening.

They grow roots. Befriend the neighbors. Tim gets back into photography, dragging Jason out with him on long walks to capture the scenery. He gets a job, too, working on cars, and talks Jason into pursuing a degree, the way he always wanted.

They gets visits and calls from the bats, and their friends—some more than others—and they usually even remember to leave business out of it. It’s… everything Jason wanted, honestly—though it’s not always easy. There are still nightmares, restless nights, and times when neither of them can watch or read the news without the urge be out there. Especially when there’s a crisis.

The worst of it, though, is the itching, nagging feeling in Jason’s chest. The thing that tells him it’s too easy. Too simple. Eventually something has to break—and each nightmare, each restless night makes Jason more and more certain it’s going to be Tim. One day, he’s going to wake up and decide that a quiet life with Jason isn’t what he wants after all.

He’ll leave.

Jason keeps his worries to himself. Just—tries to bottle up the good days, tucking them close under his heart, to keep him warm when he’s alone.

Before he knows it, though, a year passes. Tim still hasn’t left. Jason wakes up first, like he always does, and puts on the coffee before starting breakfast. Tim stumbles out of their bedroom just after Jason finishes the pancake batter. Even with a regular sleep schedule, he’s still not a morning person.

He goes for Jason first; winding his arms around his waist and sneaking a kiss before he pours his coffee. He slips out of the way, leaning against the wall to sip his coffee and watch Jason. And somewhere between the first batch of pancakes and the fourth, he glances over, and—he sees it.

Tim is smiling at him over the rim of his cup, still a little hazy from sleep. His eyes are no longer laden with bags. His skin is clear, a little tan. He’s got freckles, just a few, dotting his face. There’s a light, a glow to him that once Jason only saw in glimpses.

He’s happy.

Here.

With Jason.

It knocks the breath from him. He doesn’t know what his face is doing—only that Tim is at his side in an instant, coffee forgotten on the counter. Wrapped in Tim’s arms, Jason finds himself spilling everything, every thought and fear that’s plagued him for the last year. When he’s done, Tim smiles sadly, his hold turning into something like a cradle, despite their size difference.

“Robin was the most important thing in my life for a long time. First because watching you both, knowing what I knew… made me feel part of something bigger. Something amazing. And then because it gave me purpose. I was doing something that mattered, and so that made me feel like I mattered. And being good at it… It made me feel like I belonged, like I was wanted.” He strokes Jason’s cheek. “But… It always felt like it could be taken away. There were times when I thought it had been. And then… us. Jason, I don’t need Robin anymore. You make me feel like I matter—and I don’t… I don’t have to… to be perfect, or prove myself. I can just be here, with you, and that’s enough. I’m enough. And that… It means everything, Jay.”

Jason is tearing up. Supposedly, he’s the one who’s good with words—and Tim has pages of love poetry and sweet letters tucked away that can attest to that—but right now? He has none. All he can do is kiss him, and hope that everything he wants to say comes through.

The gratitude. The awe. The agreement. Tim does matter, and he doesn’t have to do anything to earn it, because Jason loves him. And fuck—the reason Jason stayed, the reason he couldn’t just leave on his own was because with Tim…

Tim has always taken him as he is. He doesn’t ask Jason to be anything more than he is, and because of that… Jason wants to be. He feels like the best version of himself when they’re together, and to hear that he gives Tim that same feeling—

It’s everything.

Tim’s coffee grows cold. Breakfast burns.

Neither of them care.

[ fic writer ask game ]

[ms-nesbit]

can you PLEASE do another jason todd x reader thing? mayb a short ficc?

honestly i loved doing one yesterday, and i've no problem with another today. ig today is good for taking requests overall!!!

summary: y/n is a bookkeeper and Jason is a regular customer (but only on the y/n's work days).

note: again, fluff. I am aware of Jason's relationships with women in the comics, and I want to strike a fair compromise (since I really do write him as demisexual in most AUs).

The bell attached to the entrance door to Gomez Books rang, signaling y/n to perk up from her seat behind the register.

"Good morning, welcome to — oh, hello, Mr. Todd!" she smiled brightly once she identified the tall figure near the register. "How was Memphis?"

Jason nodded. "Quite good, actually. A tad too realistic, but sometimes we all need that, right?" he chuckled, to which y/n laughed sympathetically. "But I was wondering if you recommend something new for me? If that isn't too much, of course."

He reached around and rubbed the back of his neck nervously, exposing some of his bicep from the t-shirt he wore. Y/n watched as the muscles tensed, distracted from the conversation for a moment before clearing her throat. "Yes, certainly! It is my job, after all!" she rose from her seat and brushed off her trousers. "Would you please follow me?"

Jason obliged, and followed behind y/n as she guided them through aisles of shelves and stacks of books. Occasionally, his eyes would wander to her hips, wondering how soft she would feel, or if she would beam as brightly at him as she would at her books.

"And here we are!" she chimed, handing Jason a book titled Stardust. "Since you made the comment about realism, I thought perhaps this would spark some interest."

Jason thumbed through the pages, sharing mild interest. "It's about a boy's travel to manhood, and the real meaning of love and self-worth." Y/n slipped her hands in the back pockets of her trousders nonchalantly. "And I think your girlfriend would like it, too. Or boyfriend!" she hesitated, laughing nervously.

Oh my god she's adorable he thought to himself, eyes beaming at her. "I don't have either of those." he smirked. "Is it like, heavy on the romance?"

Y/n sighed. "Yes, it is. It's not about some American values, if that's what you're worried about. But it does contain some symbolism that I personally found interesting."

Jason's head cocked to the side as she spoke, in awe by her devotion. I'm in love with a damn bookkeeper. "That sounds decent. Plus it's relatively short, so I may finish it before the end of my shift." he spoke solemnly as they walked together back to the register.

"If you want," y/n started, "I can lend you my personal copy, and you can return it whenever you're finished." she sat back down in her seat, flipping through her knapsack. "Here." she removed another copy from her bag, this one showing obvious signs of love. "Sorry for the little water stains and whatnot."

Again, Jason smiled brightly at her. "And you'll be around by like 5 this evening so I can bring it back?"

Y/n shook her head. "I get off in a couple of hours at 3." She tried to suppress a smile, as she knew exactly what he was thinking.

That's because he only frequents the shop when y/n's around, Mr. Gomez divulged a little too eagerly.

Who's that guy? Clarice asked y/n, pointing at Jason, I've never seen him around.

"Oh." his shoulders slumped as his grip of the book tightened. "W-would I be able to keep it until your next shift? That way I can return it to you directly?"

It was the first time y/n saw Jay so nervous. "How about this:" she began, rising from her seat and reaching over to slip a note in the book, "you can return the book back to me tonight and we can discuss it over dinner."

"Y/n." she finished. "And, uh, wear something red, if you will." she checked him out and flashed him a titillating look.

Heat rose to Jason's cheeks as he nodded. He opened the book to read the note, which read Call or text me, Romeo xoxo with a phone number scribbled at the bottom. "I think I'd like that..."

Jason grinned from ear to ear, beginning the first chapter of Stardust after he sang, "I'll pick you up then, y/n."

[thenerdy-artist]

My intro/Masterpost ig

Decided to remake my intro bc the other one is too unorganized for my tast lol

But anyways, hello to anyone who’s reading this, welcome to my blog! I like to go by Coco (she/they), or Gamer Nerd. I like to draw on here and talk about my interests :D

My other socials

Instagram | TikTok | YouTube | Cara | strawpage

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Artfight

My artfight account

Stardust vs Seafoam (2024)

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Other masterpost

Tmnt dusk and dawn-my tmnt fan iteration

Ocs masterpost

(Feel free to ask questions about my sillies, I love to yap about them, especially Dusk and Dawn)

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Mlp (Mane Six) as humans

Twilight | Pinkie Pie | Rarity | April jack | Fluttershy | Rainbow Dash

Basic stuff about me

• I’m a minor (so don’t get too silly)

•I’m neurodivergent (autistic and dyslexic), also I’m a poc if that means anything lol

• most of the stuff I draw is self indulgent

•I’m multifandom-ish but I mainly draw tmnt stuff

Other stuff

Doodle/art requests: close (depends on the request)

Art trade and collabs: open (for moots/friends only)

I don’t do commissions (Maybe in the future lol)

Inbox: open (plz feel free to ask questions, I love yapping /nf)

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Dni list

•Basic dni (racist, homo/transphobia ect)

•Anyone under the proshipper umbrella (comships, tcest ,Karai x Leo, ect)

•Nsfw/18+ accounts, like a said before I’m a minor

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Boundaries

•My dms are always open but just don’t be werid

•same thing for my inbox, keep the questions sfw

•if you want boundaries for my ocs/my Tmnt fan iteration then go to my oc masterpost

•plz don’t repost,trace my art, if it’s for a pfp then plz credit me

Tags

👾nerdy art | ​👾nerdy ocs | Coco yapping about shit | tmnt dusk and dawn | Dusk and Dawn ask | ​👾nerdy asks

[memoryoflooping]

anyway siffrin putme in the sscary world x2 this loop (the ghosts) and also,

loop 20 -

-oh siffrin is not fine

-loop is not a star… uh huh…. "more like a mirror" huh

-loop in disbelief that we saw the change god?

-talking to the head housemaiden is something that keeps you from advancing somehow hmm…

-what goal is impossible though… everyone seems happy?

-I GET TO HANG OUT WITH LOOP? YES. "i'm lonely!"

-loop stop being so judgemental siffrin is literally bad memory georg of course he needs the coin to remember

-"do you think i'm supposed to be here?!" uh oh, oh loop is stuck here huh. lied just so siffrin wouldn't question it. no home to go back to.

-i think the only person who could understand is siffrin…

-ok so loop's event might take up the rest of the day like isa's? ig i can do the rest and skip him for now ?

-HELP DID I VISIT LOOP TOO MANY TIMES IN A LOOP? HELP

-ahhhhh secret tutorial is just for the showing loop items thing i already know about bc i tried it instantly with the star leaf

-spend a loop with loop… lol

-loop knew siffrin before they even met… yeah checks out. they know so much. "kind of" ? i don't believe you, fucker.

-LOL i did think loop was trapping sif here. but i'm not sure anymore

-loop knows how it feels to be stuck somewhere with no hope of escape… were they in a timeloop too?

-both siffrin and loop said "i'd rather not" when asked to tell more about themself…. hmmmmmmm…

-HOLY SHIT. that's so bright… the king's attack????

-SIF just drew their weapon on loop? omg?

-wait that's true… sif just looped back… bc they realized their friends died… it's not losing… of course its not it would happen automatically when you're "softlocked"

-it must have something to do with their friends? but what? they all seemed happy in the end? it's just siffrin who's missing in that regard then, they don't have an "ending" i guess? i guess if it did actually end after the king, everyone goes home and siffrin will just like, keep traveling, without them, alone. huh. and the loop knows this somehow? someway?

-and we just established siffrin controls it somewhat… so then, it's siffrin? siffrin needs to not be sad? siffrin needs a happy ending?

-hmm i guess it was also established that it IS what siffrin wants, they did wish for it didn't they? i picked the mirabelle option at the start, but i don't remember exactly what it was, to keep traveling with them?

-ok so i need more info on the king, and i guess i just ? do the friend events again. and climb the whole house, again. the 20 hour runtime of isat is not looking good with my 27 hour file gang.

-hm i guess while i'm here i can figure out what's going on with the ghosts!

-sif purposefully tripped on a rock… to not seem really powerful

-bonbon you don't know what stars are?

-FUCK I HAVE TO GO INTO THE STAR ROOM ON PURPOSE…. its fine. its fine. i don't need the extra skills its fine. we're so fine . i guess i might as well figure out where the second ghost spawns, and i won't get to do the third again.

-odile won heads or tails again, i think this is a given i can stop writing it down

-odile thinking about time craft… looking at sif… did this happen last time it might have…? maybe i shouldn't skip interacting with the time craft book again.

-i KNEW it siffrin star infodump lmao

-siffrin says stars, the king says stars, loop… also says stars i think ?

-the king wants siffrin to remember something… hmmm

-ok lets see if siffrin is done being mad at loop ig

loop 23 -

-loop teasing them for the family members thing help

-"that sounds really cringe, stardust" "YOU"RE CRINGE"

-"are you jealous of my family members?" help

-loop does act weird whenever i show the drawing and stuff.. hmmm hmmm

-loop not jealous of the party… so they are jealous of something? or they're lying. 50/50 shot

-ok so me acting like a weirdo is in fact doing something. hm

-wait odile lost this time. after like ten million times of winning in a row

-someone siffrin knew loved fish head and thats why he likes them. OH. AWESOME. OK.

-oh! i think we got the third ghost! yesssss!

-oh everyone can see the ghosts. is that bad.

-oh my god the gang all look horrified. what????

-mirabelle crying over it??

-ghost sif looking straight ahead not moving, got suprised when isa called to him and then looked at them like he was so happy he was gonna cry, esp after he realized they were all there, smile getting bigger. "blissful" but wasn't nice or happy… just sad?

-"why would you look at us like that…."

-oh my god he looped back. to lie about seeing it.

-no peppers in those fritters, it seems "missing"

-the island…..? siffrin and the king should especially remember it…

-wait i can give the king the fucking flower? of all people…????? i fucking forgot to give it to someone

-as long as they're important you can give someone a flower… huh

-ok so find written proof of the island… hmmm

-uh oh they're smiling now… uh oh "in this moment she loves you. they all love you"

-you could do this forever! siffrin… oh my god…

loop 26 -

-isa looks stricken, sad? ohhh no :-( sif must have looked at him so sadly….

-ahhh the diary i see i see

-god its just gotta be siffrin. it's siffrin but how… he wanted it enough but. wishing at the trees isn't like… real? odile can still lose the coinflip…

[toestalucia]

this one is still ridiculous LOL

[eldritch-flower]

Characters out of context tag

Thank you @scribbling-stardust for the tag! You can find their awesome post here.

Rules: Include one character quote of your choosing ⁠from each chapter of your WIP (or as many chapters as you'd like). Give absolutely no context, save for what's between two parts of an interrupted sentence, should that occur. You may mention who said it. Have fun! No pressure!

I'm gonna do this for TAOD bc Zenith has waaaay too many chapters for me to be doing this <;/3

Chapter 1 - Alan Kelly

“You know who it is, you rat-arsed twat. Get to South Kensington. Now.”

Chapter 2 - Paula Kane

“You’re much more hypocritical than your picture would have me assume, detective.”

Chapter 3 - Joseph Hastings

“Congratulations. Lack of empathy is the pathway to success.”

Chapter 4 - Joseph Hastings

“I can’t say it’s been a pleasure, but I suppose you did your best.”

Chapter 5 - Paula Kane

“You loved him, maybe. But not enough to notice he was suffering,”

Idk how i've only written 5 chapters of this, I feel like I've written so much of it but ig half of that is just,,, in my brain?

ANyway, this was super fun to do! I'm gonna gently tag @missaddledmiss @pumpkinsplots @chromehoplite & anyone else who wants to do it <3 (no pressure)

[serenanymph]

author ask tag game

tagged by @scribbling-stardust! you can find her post here. putting this whole thing under the cut because boy is it Long. as for the tag... uh whoever I've tagged below who wants to hop in ig (no pressure tho!!)

What is the main lesson of your story (e.g. kindness, diversity, anti-war), and why did you choose it? Honestly my themes kind of grow from the story instead of the other way around, but overall I'd say it's something along the lines of discrimination and how dangerous hate can be. (<< sounds cool, has no idea how she's going to actually write this) But I will say there's a lot of like - mini themes in it too, because each character has their own issues and needs to learn different things to grow. Stuff about communication, about self-care, about finding yourself, about courage, etc etc. Very scattered, ik.

What did you use as inspiration for your worldbuilding (like real-life cultures, animals, famous media, websites, etc.)? I'd say there's a lot of like?? Mythological creatures?? Y'know the classics like vampires and werewolves and selkies and what not. And then I just. Turn it all on its head. All the myths of them still exist in-universe - they're just wildly inaccurate because humans have been passing the stories down for decades. In actuality, Beasts are much more different. (Also and this is rather embarrassing to admit, but I've been stealing aHeM taking inspiration for characters from all of the media I've been watching. Which is. Mostly anime. Plus some worldbuilding details from fanfic aus I've thought up.)

What is your MC trying to achieve, and what are you, the writer, trying to achieve with them? Do you want to inspire others, teach forgiveness, help readers grow as a person? Honestly? I have no idea. As of now, he's mostly trying to survive. I think the issue with Crys is that largely he's not someone who actually has a goal he wants to achieve?? The growth he experiences is not a thing he really decides he wants, but more something he needs, which the narrative basically has to drag him into. As for me... mostly I just want to write my stories and have them reach someone somewhere. It's probably the same for a lot of us who share those stories.

How many chapters is your story going to have? No idea. 40-something?? 50??? I always underestimate my end wordcount and my chapters vary wildly in length.

Is it fanfiction or original content? Where do you plan to post it? Original content!! I've been thinking about tweaking some stuff in Crow Wings (book 1) after I've finished first drafting Witch's Book (book 2), then I'll probably throw it up on ao3 and maybe simultaneously post it here.

When and why did you start writing? Sometime when I was a kid I think?? I'm pretty sure I was vaguely upset and bored and then I just picked up a pencil and started going at it. It was titled 'Survival' and it was basically a ripoff of I Am Number Four, littered with grammar and spelling mistakes, and all the cringefail, mary sue tropes small me could think up. I kid you not, the main character was named Emma, she had blond hair and blue eyes, and she was so good at fighting she was better at it then boys, even. Gasp!! Color me surprised!!!!! Anyway I still have it with me due to nostalgia reasons but it is hidden in my drawer under my bed where the light of day will never reach. Don't judge me, I was like nine.

Do you have any words of engagement for fellow writers of Writeblr? What other writers of Tumblr do you follow? We're all friends here and we're all still learning, so don't be afraid to share your work!! Something you feel might not be "good enough" is a story someone out there will love - and take it from a person with low self-confidence, your writing's often not as bad as you think! :D (also c'mon. it can't be worse than what nine-year-old me thought up.) As for writers... well I am following a lot of people but I'm just gonna tag a few of my mutuals. There's @lyssa-ink (my first ever writeblr mutual!!! she does fantasy with a lot of immortals, fae and court politics), and also @reneesbooks (go check out lacuna. birdie is adorable and jack is so funny to me). Also @macabremoons (vampires. lots of vampires. also super fun to talk to!!!), @sidhewrites (love graveyard lesbians. kaz is an absolute disaster and lucy is just so!!!), and @loopyhoopywrites (the Ex-Quest is peak comedy. every excerpt I read leaves me wheezing). I don't talk as much with @space-writes, @e-klair, @sapphos-scientist or @squarebracket-trick, but they're all lovely, talented writers and I really appreciate that they let me yell about Beast at them!!! There's also @scribbling-stardust (one of my most recent moots. her oc dahlia and my oc dahlia are literally twins. it's hilarious). Lastly, closing off with @allianaavelinjackson, who isn't very active on tumblr but is nonetheless always available to brainstorm (read: listen to me go insane) over Beast. Love ya <3

[sepyana]

JJBA Stardust Crusaders Ep. 25-29 Thoughts

Aka I ramble on about the N'Doul episodes and some manga differences.

Ep 25 is the start of the second half of SDC. I have been a bit slow so far so I've decided to pick up speed. It's gonna take me 2 months to finish the anime otherwise. I've watched episodes 25 to 33 but I have some extra things to say today, I'm gonna split the post in two.

First of all, the opening. It starts off all mysteries but then the rest of the song is like the first one. It even has Star Platinum's ORA ORA's in it. My favourite part is the start and the sequence with the white lines in it.

Ep. 25-26 (N'Doul)

There is a dog. The dog has a stand, The Fool. To be fair, he is a really anthropomorphized dog, way smarter than the actual thing. They kind of have to do this if he is gonna be part of the team with a stand and all. (Jotaro smiling while Iggy is biting Polnareff's face off was pretty funny. Mr. Emotionless over here thinks this is hilarious.)

It's honestly a crime that N'doul shows up for only two episodes. His design, abilities and personality is sick as hell to me. My fave DIO goon, maybe? Most of the time stands are way more interesting then the goon using 'em. Basic bitch pick, I know. Sometimes things are popular for a reason.

^ Kakyoin being a piece of shit here was pretty funny. They were arguing so much that N'Doul could sense them. Good work guys.

Episode goes from 1 to 11 real quick when N'Doul slashes Kakyoin's eyes. And he passes out from the shock. Kakyoin getting hurt to show how dangerous the new threat happens a lot, but it seems actually serious this time. I don't think Araki is bold enough to make him lose his eyes for real, but It'd be really interesting development if he did. I'm just saying.

Advol says "No, that's wrong" He says the thing! Guys!!! He also gets his neck cut too ig lol. I'm sure he'll be fine.

Jotaro uses the secret Joestar technique of running the fuck away (to divert attention away from the people he cares about). Classic. He makes sure to grab Iggy on the way.

^ Jokes aside, I thought Jotaro throwing Iggy to not get hit by Geb was really smart. It makes so much sense but I couldn't think of it at all.

I know Iggy is just a dog, he didn't ask for this yada yada I don't care, if the bastard didn't wanna get thrown at 20 mph he shouldn't look so goddamn puntable. Every time I look at him I am filled with rage. I want to kick him like football.

Okay but for real, Iggy is gonna be a hard sell for me. I don't like small dogs but I dislike fart jokes even more, which he unfortunately delivers in spades. I know part 3 has a lot of piss shit and fart jokes in it but Iggy isn't helping!!

Okay the stand-off between Jotaro and N'Doul was excellent. The animation, the soundtrack and the sound design worked really well. And then Star Platinum going HUUUUAAAHHHH

If you didn't think Dio wasn't building a cult before, you'll surely do now. Even Jotaro comments on it. Cults give people a purpose and answers, so...

I do feel a lil bit bad for him. Dio finds the most isolated and depressed people to use them, letting them depend on him. As much as I've been trying to avoid them I get recommended jojos when I search for clips. N'Doul's line "I do not fear death. Just as long as [Dio] doesn't abandon and murder me himself." in one of the games puts it plainly.

It's hard to wrap your head around Dio being charismatic but when you hear his interactions with them it becomes obvious. He acts like he cares for them, whether that's genuine or on is up in the air. Considering everything in Phantom Blood, how much it took for Dio to finally respect Jonathan, I'm inclined to say no? He was definitely meant to be a pure evil Disney villain type of character there. SDC might shake things up, who knows.

Overall, these episodes are great. They have a lil bit of everything I like. Part 1 doesn't feel boring compared to part 2, unlike some other two parters. Not to mention the music picks.

-

Now, onto something I wanna talk about. I was sort of going thru the manga pages for the last few episodes and,

This line of Jotaro is given to Advol in the anime. And he is less stressed about it. (I know characters get major injuries only to be fine the next episode but like, Kakyoin losing his eyes is a big development. He doesn't show for the next 13 episodes after this.)

^ Too tired to change the lines.

Also, in the anime, It is Advol who holds Kakyoin. (Polnareff holding Joseph isn't in either.) Instead, Jotaro hangs with one hand while the other is casually in his pocket. Which is absolutely hilarious. And shows how anime and manga to treats his character.

I know people arguing over manga and anime Jotaro is -a whole thing- I would hear stuff about it while Stone Ocean anime was still releasing. I will think about this a lot more if I actually read the whole thing. Just talking about these two episodes here.

In the anime, Jotaro needs to look cool all the time always. I assume what they were going for was to make him more stoic so that when his cool guy persona (and it is a persona) starts slipping it has more impact. But the changes made seem kind of random. They changed some stuff in this episode but they have kept the Anubis one largely the same. He is not as agitated there but he is still on the back foot.

He is losing control in this episode. The only reason they made it out alive was because The Fool just happened to be able to fly, he was basically fucked before then. Him looking panicked at Kakyoin losing his eyes also makes sense. He can't do anything about the situation, so naturally, his stoic demeanor starts to dissipate for a while. Kakyoin and Advol has put him on a timer.

I don't think the difference between manga and anime Jotaro is that big but it is notable. I dunno. I would prefer Jotaro breaking the cool mask too much rather than basically never.

Another tidbit is, Star Platinum smiles in the manga way more. And I'm gonna be honest I prefer the anime in this. It goes back to the "Having it less makes the times where it does show up more impactful." thing. So, it can definitely be done in a good way.

Ep. 27 (Oingo Boingo Brothers)

One thing I found strange is how the English dub and sub treats the brothers' names. They normally call themselves.Oingo Boingo Brothers. The English sub calls them Zenyatta Monetta Brothers. The dub straight up doesn't mention their name at all.

Weirdly enough, the the other subs do call them Oingo Boingo Brothers. Is it a cultural thing, or a copyright one? I don't know.

I don't have much to say about this episode. So I'm gonna take the opportunity to talk about Kakyoin instead :D

^ This is from the next episode but there isn't much I can use.

I mentioned before how I thought it would be interesting to blind him. You never see legally blind characters in action stuff, unless they have an ability that let's them sense the environment. Like Toph or N'Doul himself. It's a pain to fight blind, it turns out.

Kakyoin should have a way to see, through the humanoid stand Green Heirophant (unless him being blinded makes Heirophant blind also). Like, It would have been really draining. Summoning the stand is a lot but also the chronic pain from his injury, but he could do it. He could use the eyes for battle situations, or Joseph could have SPW bring him technology that could help him in some way. I'm not gonna call this a missed opportunity, I can see why didn't go with that.

I'm guessing Araki wanted to shrink the cast for a while, like with Advol's "death". 5 man band casts are nice but it can be hard to work with 5 people all the time. Cast is divided again with Polnareff-Jotaro and Advol-Joseph. I went in to check when Kakyoin shows up again (grazing thru the manga) and he is not in the show for 13 episodes, excluding 2 scenes. That's more than quarter of the whole runtime. Advol was away for 9 episodes, and he was suppose to be dead.

I'm a bit conflicted on this, shrinking the cast builds relationships between the characters more in depth and it allows for new and interesting storylines. But at the same time, that's a lot of episodes. I just really like both Advol and Kakyoin, man.

Ep. 28-29 (Anubis)

FINALLY Some swordfighting scenes.

Polnareff goes off on his own, again. He comes across a stand user and gets almost killed, again. Yet he keeps going off on his own anyway. Never change king.

Anubis' shtick is that it's a stand with no user, that gets more powerful the more you fight it. It's like Nasus but way cooler. Not that that's a high bar to pass, anything is cooler than farming stacks for 20 minutes. I don't know where Anubis getting stronger with time comes from, since Nasus also has this It's probably part of the mythology. I know absolutely nothing about that though.

Anubis themselves is also a fun villain. Funny man with funny voice. Their design is the opposite of unique but it works for me. I like that him possessing the kid gives him lipstick.

Going back to Polnareff, I think people forget how powerful he is sometimes. When it comes to power and speed, only one stronger than Chariot in the group is Star Platinum. And Star Platinum is op as hell.

Jotaro vs Anubis drives that point even further, Jotaro is not even sure he can win against Polnareff with Anubis' speed added to the equation. The whole fight is just Jotaro sweating bullets thinking "Shit shit shit shit sh

When he does finally win, he says "What were you saying? You were gonna tear me into shreds?" while Star Platinum puts his hand like this. Just. I love it.

^ Compilation of Jotaro faces for this episode.

Overall, Anubis episodes were pretty nice. I think the Alessi epsiodes do a better job building Jotaro and Polnareff's dynamic though.

[madisonbeersource]

Hiiii 💙 It's been so long since I've been here.... How are you? I hope you are very well

There are several news about Madison that I want to comment and to begin with, the most important thing, WE CAN TALK ABOUT THE MV ABOUT SPACE!? OMG she even already posted a picture on her ig and said she was going to see aliens!!!! Is real this fantasy?!?! I would love for this new single to be a bit like homesick 2, especially in terms of narrative. It would be a dream. I CAN'T WAIT

According to my predictions I think Mads is going to release this new song on Friday this week no, the next one on June 2nd. Hopefully. And if it's sooner even better. When do you think it will be published?

I think it's AWFUL what I've heard on Twitter about people leaking the Madison song. I haven't heard anything or heard anything personally, but it just seems so wrong to me. Especially when it's so close to this song coming out and we're getting closer and closer to mb2. Madison will release her music when she wants to and that's it. It's so unfair

Oh and can we talk about how AWESOME Madison looked when she went to New York to do interviews and promote her book? She looked so cute in those tweed-like outfits, the sunglasses, those super long black boots she wore to an interview with that gray dress (if I'm not mistaken) but whatever, she looked amazing, as always.

Moonlight, do you already have The Half Of It? Because I haven't read it yet and I'm dying for it. Just like I haven't listened to the podcast Madison did with Call Her Daddy either. I've seen several snippets around, but haven't listened to the whole thing yet . Have you listened to it yet?

Okay... now I can't think of anything else to comment, but omg it's been so long... too long. When we get Madison's new song I'll either scream or cry for joy, I don't know. What I do know is that I'm looking forward to it, not only as a big Mads fan, but also as a big space fan.

I hope you are great and as excited as I am!

love you 🛸

💙🌓👽

hi my lovely stardust<3 i'm doing good wbu?

OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG this is gonna b legit crazy good!! can't wait honeslty i love how she makes continuity of her last album i was scared she would change her artistic choices drastically but OMG noope she did not and thank god!! but so many artist are releasing new shit and i'm beyond exited

she said june 2nd right?

idk who takes care of the songs she made but she needs better security idk how songs can get leaked like that don't they have security for these type of things? but i gotta admit i didn't even know songs of hers were leaked!! i don't wanna know tho ngl i'll not hear anything sdfhgfds i support the queen always

her press tour was So cUTE and true she was SERVING lewks!!!! our girl is not an author and i love this title on her

NOPE I DIDNT!! but i'm dying to have it !! also yes i've seen her podcast it was so real! i prayed for it not to be awkward and thank god it wasn't because i still remember hailey's call her daddy podcast and all i can say is awkwaaaard

IM NOT HERE JUNE SECOND ILL B W MADISON MOTHER QUEEN BEER thank u very much gfdsdfgn finally she's releasing stuff and i admire her for that! also me too i'm still waiitng for the time i can finally go to space

I AM INDEED GREAT AND AS EXITEDDDDDDDDDDD!!!!

i love you the most <3