#srry im having a moment
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a weird part of being more progressive than your parents is sometimes you forget about it and then they hit you with a freezing cold take you moved past like 5+ years ago.
like my parents think that any instance of someone wearing hijab ever is evil oppression and they MUST comment on it and I'm like.. hey can you be normal and not weird ab this. you're being odd.
#like u don't act like this ab the german baptist women covering their heads.#i think you might just be doing racism. this is possibly just Islamophobia!#plague's thoughts#srry im having a moment
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Do you think, over the metor trip, Terezi would re-read her roleplays with Nepeta? Does she read through her messages with her other fallen friends? Does she feel guilty about her relationship with Vriska, because of all she'd done?
Do you think that, although she doesn't regret what she'd done, Kanaya mourns for Eridan? When she goes to sew with colourful fabrics, does she think of Feferi, and how much she would've loved to see the new world they made?
Do you wonder if, as she went to claw Gamzee's face, Nepeta wondered what happened to her friend she once knew? During their kismesis, does Terezi lay awake at night and realize she doesnt even recognize the person Gamzee once was?
On earth C, when all is said and done, do you think Aradia looks to the stars and thinks about Vriska. Does she wish she could talk to Tavros again?
Does Sollux make a grave for Feferi? And mayhaps even one for Eridan, because even though he was a douche, he was just a kid who didn't get to grow up.
When Karkat thinks of Nepeta, does he think of Equius, and wishes he'd could've been better friends with him. With everyone.
Do the gods mourn their fallen?
#homestuck#aradia megido#tavros nitram#sollux captor#karkat vantas#nepeta leijon#kanaya maryam#terezi pyrope#vriska serket#equius zahhak#gamzee makara#eridan ampora#feferi piexes#kitty.txt#srry im having a Moment rn
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something invokes the carnal rage in me when a grown man rages like a two-year old over a video game
#it makes me think of the mothers trying to act like theyre defusing an already blown up bomb and it's literally just#idk#it just gives me the ick im srry the moment i hear one 'me' entitled statement and it's not like#clearly burnt out 'i kinda know im being ironic' ventong#venting LMAO#and just genuine sorrow for urself#over a Digital Game#i just cant srry#maybe it's my youngest to an older brother who everyone gets the ages flipped around Not just from looks but actual Acting#syndrome#and of course context plays a part too like if u have a stressful af job and just wanted to rewind? understandable. id be pissed too#but mfers who just Sit there and continue to stink the whole room up is like. ok. get some air or smthin#i do Not fuck around with throwing or damaging expensive shit ESPECIALLY if u did not pay for it#idk im naturally good at video games i think only bcs i only had access to old one that were way above my age audience#so i had to develop a sense of patterning not just to have competition but to just play the game at all#but still i have gotten frustrated at games bcs everyone gets frustrated at smthing#but usually now. at my grown age. (even tho i Rarely ever game anymore bcs i cant rlly so anything not active in my mind#bcs of Guilt and Constant Dread of Judgement)#when i find myself getting frustrated it's bcs im purposefully either playing a harder level/mode/with better ppl so i can advance#and the advancing is just not happening#i acknowledge that and accept not every difficulty can be passed at one time or at all sometimes in my limited time/care so i just either#Shut it Off. or go back down to a pace i know can just be carefree#i DO have a thing where i Need to end on a win. which is not good bcs i do that with everythin (like sports) in order to justify me quittin#but if i have to get out of the rlly competitive lobby to get my dopamine then i will bcs this is meant to give u that#anyways it's just insane. ted complains abt superfocus while being superfocused himself on the concept of superfocus#the neverending story#DO anything not active** idk it's my fear of death maybe that i disease myself with everything needing a purpose when it comes to gain
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I am nthn but h8 but I am also so so boring . I'm like the worst guy bc I am literally nthn goin on . nthn 2 luv nthn 2 h8 I'm like totally neutral in a way that's annoying . what happened . where did I go . who took me . didn't I used 2 b fun, didnt I used 2 b interesting. u used 2 b able 2 talk 2 me an I culd talk back . I used 2 b able 2 help u if u were down . what happened . I want him back. I want the old me back. pls. pls js let everythin go back. js a few mnths is all I need
#dont even care enuf 2 draft this.#w/e#im not even real anywayz#none offf thiss is realll anyyywayzzzz#literally cannot imagine a future w myself anymore lol!!!! i cant even c me in 2yrs .#NOT sayin i want 2 die. sayin that this me isnt sustainable . boy i have 2 change but ik if i do itll b 4 the wrse. oh well.#ahhhh who carez!!!!!#not like this matterz#my feelings lit do not matter lmao i need 2 rlly learn that . bc i thot they did but now ive bcome far 2 selfish#so#need 2.....unlearn that if i wanna mayb start smth positive#sighhh#srry ill go back 2 silly posting aftr this js give me a moment haha#rivers rambles <3
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eddie's uncle & his lil daughter
& him, moretti and leo's wife bc this screenshot is so real
#srry im havin a moment when i just sit on my half broken couch and draw some pointless lil things#just to draw smth#bout eddie's cousin n her father#anyway#so the guy is supposed to be killed in 1931 for her having one significant arc and#“when i think about you flowers grow out of my grave” <- its her father! eddie's cousin is the only character who had#well if not the best childhood but a loving caring parents for sure#and leo's wife is amazing at saying (&having) controversial thoughts#m2#avart#leo's wife#eddie's cousin#eddie's uncle#<- what a beautiful names💋 (eddie's cousin has a name in my head tho)#tomaso moretti#*1932 not 1931 sorry its hard to keep almost 40yrs timeline in my head
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ok guys i dont wanna be a hater but im gonna be 100% honest i didnt rlly like the nimona movie 😭 I MEAN IT WAS FUN. it was nice. but i feel like it was missing everything that made me like the original graphic novel and honestly by the last like 30 minutes i was kind of just waiting for it to be over so i could read the book again 😭 NO HATE TO ANYONE WHO RLLY LIKED IT believe me when i say i dont think it is bad or anything. but i feel like just sooooo much was changed that it didnt feel like nimona at all to me. idk how to explain it, im sure once i reread the book i’ll be able to put it into words since the original will be more fresh in my mind. i think it was good but as someone who was literally obsessed w the og graphic novel it was honestly kinda disappointing. but i dont rlly care honestly its still rlly cool it got a movie!!
but in my mind at least it proves that some things dont need to be made into a movie. ppl act like movies are the best form a piece of media can take and if something gets made into a movie then that’d be the peak form of it. but i honestly think nimona works wayyyyyy better in its original graphic novel form. most of the early stuff is way more slice of life lowkey stuff that lets you get attached to ballister and nimona as characters and get invested in their relationship w each other, BEFORE all the angsty final act stuff happens. also there honestly was just a ton of stuff that felt to me like it worked better in the original, like jousting tournament thing instead of the knighting ceremony, nimona being captured and being forced to turn into her “true” form rather than this new version with it just sort of happening bcuz of Emotions, etc. also the movie suffered from a lot of pacing and tone issues imo but the former i think is just from that lack of the slow buildup of their friendship, and the latter is something that i think just worked better in the book. idk again I’LL BE ABLE TO SAY THIS STUFF MORE CONCRETELY WHEN I ACTUALLY REREAD THE BOOK but i dont remember there being so much jokes and goofy shit DURING serious scenes. like iirc in the original during serious scenes it was SERIOUS. but in the movie theres so many unnecessary unfunny jokes and stuff. idk IDK i probably just had too high expectations idk. anyways
#also im kind of mad they changed the ending i know it works similarly but like THE TONE IS TOTALLY DIFFERENT#in the movie ballister goes back to the lair and you hear her voice and he gets all excited and goes ''HOLY SHI-'' and then it cuts to title#which seemed rlly lighthearted and played for laughs and srry but THE ENDING OF NIMONA ALWAYS MADE ME CRY SO IT LOWKEY PISSED ME OFF ToT#IN THE ORIGINAL. he wakes up in the hospital and the nurse like talks to him or whatever and then she comes in again and hes like ?? u were#just here. and shes like no?? and then he sees on the clipboard the nurse left behind the firsttime theres a shark drawing (or smthn)#clearly drawn by nimona. and you see his eyes widen and he rushes out of the room and he runs through a crowd desperately trying to find her#and then he sees her there. in the crowd. and he just stares looking sort of heartbroken. and she gives him a quiet bittersweet little wave#and then she disappears into the crowd. and thats the last you see of her#I FUCKING LOVEEEEEEEEEEEE THAT ENDINGGGGGG IM ACTUALLY SO MAD THEY CHANGED IT#also sorry i will die mad about the climax THE CLIMAX OF NIMONA IS WHAT GETS ME EVERY FUCKING TIME.#THOSE PAGES WITH THE HUGE MONSTER AND LITTLE GIRL NIMONA JUST RIPPING INTO BALLISTER MAKE ME CRYYYYYYY DAWG THEYRE SO GOOD#idk. idk. i cant put it into words but just the overall vibes of the book are so much better imo. i think nd stevenson's style fits the#story reallyyy well and idk if the movie's style rlly does the same. also i wish the movie wasnt as sanded down like the original wasnt like#INAPPROPRIATE. it wasnt adults only. but it had a lot more like. blood and rude humor and stuff. and i miss that#i think the best way i can put it is. the original is the scratchy ever evolving style of nd stevenson it feels raw and unfiltered#and thats why i love it and why it moves me so much. while the movie is much more polished and round and soft and im gonna be honest:#I DONT LIKE IT! sorry. having my hater moment#<- lightheartedly again I DONT THINK THE MOVIE IS BAD i just think that by comparison the book is way better#still incredibly happy for and proud of the whole team that made the movie i think its awesome!!!!#just my personal opinion#serena.txt#nimona spoilers#<- idk if anyone actually needs this but jic
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the sendolo religious symbolism goes so crazy im gonna theow up. theyre both jesus theyre both judas and theyre both going to die for their worship of the other. it is the only outcome and they both knew from the beginning.
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going to start eating sugar straight out of the bag at this point
#I want a TREAT but I’m AT HOME and I can’t BAKE anything#Pacing around like an animal in a cage I need chocolate chip cookies warm from the oven NOW!!!#Well. Guess I’m just gonna have to DO IT MYSELF but I don’t have THE TIME at this MOMENT#srry im just. Hm
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Did u guys know Eros is the best? Literally can’t express that enough,
#wren speaks#ooc#Haven’t had someone love an oc of mine this much in a while and it makes me So Emo#idk smthn smthn feeling like i can trust someone to love my own oc as much as I love them is rlly special u kno#to have someone put so much work into something for u.. im gonna SOB#srry moment of loving my friend weakness posting
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I love writing I wish I could feel normal things about the literary community
#srry i bounce wildly between wow everyone here is so cool and wonderful and oh god i need to lock myself in a room and become#a professional spoon blacksmith for the rest of my life and not talk to anybody#depending on how close i feel to a total breakdown at any given moment#im sorry. in general everyone i meet is very cool and awesome and that does not change i just have very unsolid cognitions abt my work and#litmags n stuff. and also this may partially be related to my mom idk
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i think i’m fine then BOOM can you kill me calmly, sasuke?
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Sun would you like to know some silly things about the heart?
Prophecy-anon
yea sure
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i
#vent#GIRL MOMENT#Cant a guy just be regular jighschool and college guy Must he have to be special and graduate early or work or fuck all#GROWING UP SUCKS!’!!!;!:!&#likethey be Oh sick you will be done by the second semester you can go work or some shit like Man im tryna NOT be at home as much as possibl#srry girl is complaining for little to no reason#its the anxiety speaking#they changed a bunch of state laws to allow highschoolers a huge step up in like everything#and everyones excited abt it but im sitting here like Nooo go back ill take the classes ill do math for an extra twelve years
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I have to remind myself every day,
the thing I want from people isn’t friendship how it’s normally defined,
I want people to manually dissect my psyche and find the essence of me I don’t know how to express.
So of course normal friendship, even if achieved will always feel one sided to me. My friends do care about me.
They just don’t care in the same way I do.
And that is why I feel ignored and neglected.
Just sometimes I ask myself, why do I still put so much work into my friendships when I feel like I get near to nothing out of it.
Other then I can say I have friends. And people to do group activities with. But that’s kinda it.
Whenever I try to connect in the way I do, they do not reciprocate.
Because that is not how they care. And that is okay
#vent post#vent#friendship#autism moment probably#anyway#if you also connect by psychoanalysing others through their art cause words don’t do it for you like that#like my love language is caring about your art#i need me a person like that#there have to be more#it can’t just be me#so if you know anyone or are someone like that PLEASE let me know#im tired of feeling like a freak#also I feel like a prick for seing friendships this transactionally but like#it’s supposed to be give and take right?#why is it always like we have a group project and I do all the work#like I feel like they don’t even make an effort#also if one of my irl friends finds this#GIRL#you picked the worst time ever to care about me lmao#srry abt that
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There are a lot of great tags on this post, and a lot of different and unique takes on gaster which i always love to read :DD but i dont think i managed to evoke what i wanted to with this drawing
We know that gasters aware hes in a video game, but so many characters in undertale are aware of that already. One of the things that make gasters situation different is his ability to look at our world directly. He's aware that we've been looking for him and trying to understand what and who he is, he knows these last few years were dogshit for everyone on earth and mentions it in his pre chapter 2 tweets, he knows our life outside of our tempering with these worlds
And unlike other self aware characters in undertale, he doesn't experience time and the resets. He "lives" outside of what we can control. He truly remembers all that we've done while being unaffected by any of it. So while other self aware characters (im mainly thinking of sans and flowey) know that theres a person behind frisk whos controlling time, they're affected by our choices and (for the most part) can't judge it from an outside perspective
Sans is mostly unaffected by our inputs, and he does manage to judge us in a very impactful way, but he can't be a completely uninvolved judge. He will (understandably) react to us killing his brother and on certain neutral endings, as much as hes trying to hold his unfazed facade together, he's struggling with the thought of how much of his happiness you took away, even if he knows a reset will likely happen and everything will go back to the way it was. Understandably! This game is his world. Even if he knows its just a game that gets reset its still his home and the people he loves are its residents. He can't be unfazed by everything. he is nice to us when we're nice to him, and he hates our guts when we give him reason to. And he will always forget us after a reset and react to our actions only on the current run, not being able to know who we were to him before.
And flowey acts as the embodiment of this games message, he is our mirror and, in his words, he is who we will become if we exhaust this game of all it has. He exists to judge us, but he can do so only from his own point of view. He's judging our actions, our choices in this world as if we we're stuck inside it the way he is, which we aren't. That's not to say his judgement isn't impactful, that would just be. incorrect to say lol. But he can't interpret what he sees us do in a fully unbiased way because he's in a very similar, but not identical, situation to us. While we can enter his world and play the kind way, we do get bored and try new things, like picking the other, more rude dialogue option, or killing a character to see what a person who loves them says. even if we don't fully want to. Just like he said! But while we both went through the same process, there's a difference between us. We can leave. We don't have to grow apathetic and detached from these characters. We don't have to start seeing them less as people and more as repetitive lines of dialogue. If we're bored, we can leave. Play a new game. Come back when we miss them and see those familiar lines of dialogue and feel nostalgia, not dread. And he knows that we're a person that has a life outside of this game. At the end of pacifist he desperately tries to make us stay. But he doesn't see what our life is like, he cant see what we do with our days outside of his world, so he can only see us leave and return and leave and return, and judge us through his (flawed) world view and based on our actions within a world we enter for fun.
Thats not to say they're not written well? They're the fucking coolest flowey and sans rule.(i think the info dump proves my stance on them) I'm just saying that even if they know about us they cant fully judge the situation from a neutral point of view because they have a limited world view and they're affected by our choices, which gaster (as of now) isn't
And we don't know a lot about him. But we do know that he knows hes in a video game, that he knows we control his world and its linear time, that he lives outside of that linear time and is unaffected by our inputs, that he used to experience time linearly before shattering, that he had people he cared about in undertale, that he saw everything all of us did when playing undertale, that he is kind to us in the current deltarune chapters, that he knows of our lives and what we go through, and most importantly in my opinion, he knows that we (fans of utdr) use fiction as escapism
We've had characters judge us and berate us for our misdeeds, who are fully justified in doing so since we did hurt them directly. But they also cannot see the situation from an outside perspective. No character in undertale sees us separated from their world, as a person who lives a life outside of tempering with undertale, to them we are just a god who takes control of their reality, all they see is a cruel person who entered a world just to destroy it, or give everyone freedom and then just take it away in a second, they don't see how small their world is in comparison to ours, they'll never be able to understand that our actions in their world are (for the most part) inconsequential to us. they cant see us beyond the red soul.
so imagine with me for a second, a character within the game who is not only aware of the fact that he's in a game and that there's a player who controls time, but who also has the ability to SEE the players' lives through the internet. A character who has the ability to see the horrors of everyday real life and how much people struggle with it, and see that some deal with those struggles using fiction. And not just any fiction, the fiction that the character itself lives in. A character who knows that these great beings, much bigger than him, use the thought of him and his world to get through the trials and tribulations of their lives, hardships that are horrific in completely different ways than his world ever had. A character who knows that they find comfort indulging in his world and finding everything it has to offer, because whatever his world has is much more pleasant than theirs.
He knows that to us his world is just a video game, one that remembers and we're not above consequences in, but still a video game. One of the most common complaints i hear about UT is that it is preachy in its message, and players shouldn't be berated by it for playing certain routes or making certain choices (but one of the points of the game was that there is an alternative way to complete it so why choose violence BUT that is a whole conversation in it of itself and this is long enough already)
So what if the game understood? What if the character who created this game, this world, knew that it is just a game and didn't judge the player? What if the character accepted that he is only fiction and saw the beauty and purpose within it, and how he can use his position in this situation to connect with us and allow us to escape our hurt for just a little while? What if he saw the hardships we've endured and empathised with us? What if he understood that we don't view his world as real like he does and we just use it for our fun, to escape, the way a child happily plays with a toy? What if he felt for us, and encouraged it?
Deltarune (initially) not having a way to really hurt and kill people makes me think that while gaster wanted us in this world for whatever his larger goal is, and wanted us to indulge in it, he didn't want us to hurt anyone. But he saw what we did with the previous world and knows that warnings, consequences and the visible and audible hurt of the characters won't stop us (in fact, it will encourage us), which is something he accepts and understands. it's said that his own curiosity brought him far in his endeavours so perhaps he even understands our curiosity and why we just have to see what would happen, as morbid as it is in universe
But i love that we (without the help of noelle, a game breaking pro) cannot kill anyone. He didn't even give us that option. He isn't completely detached from these worlds since he used to live within them. He still views the fictional characters in the game as real while also knowing us, our lives, and the way we interact with the characters. And he loves and cares for both.
Letting us escape into a nicer world while keeping the residents of it safe from us.
And that is of course assuming he isn't tricking us into a false sense of security to teach us a lesson, and isn't lying to our faces every time he talks to us kindly and thanks us. but i think that after an entire game and a whole cast of characters who taught us lessons and took control away from us and showed us what an asshole we are for playing the game in an unkind way.. i think it'll be a really nice thing and a breath of fresh air to have a character who knows what they and their world are to us on a realistic scale, see why we sometimes act so detached from its ways, and understand that yeah, it is just a game. And we do the things we do as a means to escape. And that it isn't necessarily a bad thing to interact with games in this way (to me that sounds like the most self aware character ever written). But also see the characters within it as real (since he used to be amongst them) and protect them from our worst.
Truly and wholeheartedly loving and caring for both his family and the person who barely hesitates to strip them of all their joy before murdering them too.
Kissing the hands of the man who killed his son
I have endured what no one on earth has ever done before
I put my lips to the hands of the man who killed my son
#and the original caption is a direct quote#but i love the thought of him analyzing and judging his own worldview and the stance he took on his and his peoples' situations#thinking about how morbid it is that he is empathising and enjoying the company of the people who kill everyone he loves#but still not being able not to#but that↑ is too much fanon interpretation for this accidental character analysis#not even sure anyone will see/read this lol. but i love this guy. i think of him often. i think he has a lot of love in his heart.#parts of this do feel a bit repetitive. srry about that sgsjdj. also sorry about any grammatical errors English sucks muchly#also this is a very VERY surface level reading of undertales message and meta narrative and sans' and floweys characters-#please don't judge my analysis abilities based on this i just wanted to rant about my feelings and emotions and thoughts about#the silly wingding man and why i used a priam quote in a drawing of him#he broke the cycle of hurt#thinking about it i probably should've talked about the original story here. but I don't know it that well and#i don't wanna spread misinformation. also i forgot.#ALSO they way i refered to and interpreted the utdr community is extremely generalising- most of us are weenies and pick the nice dialogue#options every time we play and we dont kill anybody. hell im one of the people who have a hard time replaying ut after completing pacifist.#but generally the community has played no mercy and killed for no reason and exhausted the game of all its got-#thats what the characters see so thats what i wrote them reacting to#(I keep adding more tags while trying to fall asleep) ALSO. gaster could be treating us the same way papyrus does on a no mercy run#papyrus sees us heading down a dangerous path and instead of warning us or threatening us or fighting us he offers us a chance to stop it#showing us kindness when we don't deserve it. (imo its one of if not the most impactful moment of the no mercy route on a meta level)#papyrus doesn't know our lives outside of this. he doesn't know that we do this for fun- to escape unpleasant things in our life. he sees#our actions in his world outside of context and still offers us his mercy (he is the greatest character of all time#AND thats how WE treat the violent characters in our path on a pacifist route) pap does this without the context! so imagine if he had it!#he'd understand even more. thats where i think gaster stands#anyways#dadster 4everrrrrrrrrrrr#infodump
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i;mgonna frow up
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