#squig writes

[futuristichedge]

Sonic, the embodiment of freedom switching places with Metal Sonic and being able to realize and experience first hand how isolated and restricted Metal is. Unable to speak, limited body language and fingers unable to articulate anything outside of a clawing motion. Metal coming to and adjusting to experiencing the overstimulating experience of being a living breathing thing. Being called just Sonic and how right it feels... in a way. It feels right the way that looking at yourself through a funhouse mirror is right. It's still you, isn't it?

The tragedy of being created in the form of another. Predestined to never reach the heights of what you are capable of, chained down by the expectations of what you SHOULD be.

An embodiment of freedom made to be obedient. Bottled wind, stagnating in your containment.

You were made to usurp someone, to be superior but held back by your own programming. Held back by comparisons inherent to being a replica, gifted tunnel vision to achieve an unachievable goal.

So wrapped up in comparison that the only way you can see to break free from these expectations is to remove the person you were made in the image of. Become the ONLY 'you' there is.

What if its given to you. You are no longer the copy, you are what you were always meant to be. But the expectation is still there, and you are still falling short. What then.

[giggly-squiggily]

HDNFKWKF SQUIGS! *eats u nicely*

Hi! Let's go back to Moriarty for now, I like to HC that Will has really sensitive palms 😭 Ladies holding his hand with those weird silk gloves is a nightmare for him but he's gotta keep that cool expression jnsjsjaksb

Mwah! Love you! 🥰❤️💕❤️💕❤️

*starts dancing after being eaten* RACHI! You are a gem of a human- I love this so MUCH! This was so fun to write ajjkaejkakjrekjr I've gotcha covered!

“Lord. Moriarty.” William looked up to find a group of women before him. It wasn’t an uncommon sight; he always seemed to draw their attention whenever he attended social events.

If he were being honest, he’d rather stay home; but as is the way of society.

“A pleasure to see you again, Lady Bridgerton.” He greeted politely, smiling charmingly as the girls giggled in their hands. He took her offered hand, bringing it to her lips for a polite peck to her knuckles. “I’m glad to see you in good health. Has the advice I’ve given you for your headaches helped at all?”

“Oh but of course, Lord. Moriarty! You are too kind!” She gushed, but her words seemed to fade from him the longer he held her hand. This was usually the time to let go, but she was still gripping his hand rather tight- and it would be rude to yank it away.

Even if it tickled.

William prayed his plastered smile didn’t show his discomfort as he nodded along, his other hand twitching to flex. His hands- he found out rather quickly- were awfully sensitive. The silk gloves he wore did nothing to aid his predicament. If anything- it made it far worse.

“And I was just telling my husband he needed to see the doctor. He’s been having the worst cough as of late. Do you have anything that could help with that?” Her question brought him back. A cough, a cough..

Focus, William!

“Ginger tea with a dash of honey. That should help with the tickle in his pal-throat.” He nearly slipped. The woman didn’t seem to notice, nodding and gossiping at the advice. Lady Bridgerton smiled up at him with such warmth, her hand squeezing his. It sent shivers of ticklishness up his back, but he held strong.

“Thank you very much, Lord Moriarty. I’ll be sure to request that with his breakfast starting tomorrow. Thank you again!” Eventually the ladies left, and William could breathe once more. Flexing his hands, he let them fall to his sides.

“Eeh!” Something ticklish wiggled into his palm, making him startle and pull his hand up. “Apologies-” He began, turning to-

“Interesting.” Sherlock Holmes smiled at him, eyes dancing with new discovery. “Ticklish, Liam? I never would have guessed.”

He watched the detective go, feeling his ears burn.

Damn that Mr. Holmes!

Send me a headcanon and I'll write a 300-500 word dabble for it!

[thevoidscreams]

Hello🌹You can write something about Sanguinius, with a reader who has the reputation and behavior of  Ciaphas Cain and that the reader is very attached to the angel and his legion. In general, if you have a better idea, then it's even better😊 just make it Sanguinius with a cool reader. Thanks in advance💚🖤❤️💙

Bet you thought i forgot about this. But I didn't....I just forgot where it was that i was writing it. It's also not exactly on character i got way more self deprecating with it.

Rating: G No warnings just the usual 30kness.

The angel didn't think his hearts could take much more of this. His hearts were racing in a panic as he flipped over the mangled haul of a rhino, anxiety rising as he prepared for the worst. 

Instead, he found you scuffed but alive in a natural groove in the earth. As if the dip had been placed there specifically for your tiny body to fall into.

"Hi honey, how's the battle going?" You joked. He didn't think it was funny at all, but it'd have to wait. The battlefield was no place for a lover's quarrel.

"We are going to discuss this later." All around the both of you, his legion was pushing back a massive invasion of Orks. And just to the side of your exploded rhino was the charred remains of their war boss, his head half gone from the explosion that'd rocked the battlefield, drawing the angel's attention in the first place. What remained was a mangled mess that snarled up hateful and defiant even in death.

Your half cooked plan had paid off. Much to your delight. "YES! It worked! Look, Sanguinius, I got him, I got the war boss." 

"Yes, I see. You did well." Sanguinius said quietly, picking you out of the dirt where you still sat celebrating your victory over the massive green skin.

Sanguinius looked down at it, and the corners of his vision tinted red as he swung his blade down in one hate filled swing, taking the rest of its head clean off in one mighty blow. It'd threatened your life, and he hated it for that. He suddenly found that he hated all of these green life forms, dead or alive. And none of them could be left standing.

Sanguinius's fist clenched around the hilt of his sword. No, he had to get you back to safety.

"I'm taking you back behind the lines." 

"Yeah, okay." Your voice came out in a squeak without much protest.

Still his irritation spiked, already heightened by the natural aggression instilled by his gene flaw. "You were supposed to stay behind the lines. I only agreed to let you come because you promised to only watch and vox me if their movements became irregular. You didn't do that. You did exactly what I asked you not to do."

“Yes I know, but I can explain ... .once you’ve won that is.” You hurriedly insured, wanting very much for him to get you back to a “Safe” distance.

Sanguinius sighed, he had to admit that you'd never gotten hurt so far. Never anything more than a scratch or bruised. It was like you'd be supernaturally blessed with the gift of luck.

No. Not luck. It was just your tactical mind thinking ten steps ahead. Luck was superstitious, and his father would scoff at the suggestion.

Sanguinius took to the air, with you wrapped up in his arms. "My dove, I understand you want to help and fight. But you are so precious to me."

Internally you scoffed, but externally you gave him a firm look, as if to convince him that you weren’t some soft little coward who secretly did want nothing more than to stay on his flag ship and sip expensive beverages and eat fine foods.

"I won't get hurt though, I'll be fine. Ask any in your legion who saw. I was holding on just fine before the war boss even showed up." Of course he didn’t need to know that the only reason you were on the field to begin with was that a bomb squig had chased you out of your relatively cushy, covered position.  

He landed, back-winging gently as he set you on your feet. "You will stay here behind the lines where you promised to stay the first time."

There wasn't much you could do to argue with a primarch. But just to make sure he called out to the closest marine who turned eagerly when his primarch addressed him.

"Watch her. This time, she is to stay here and watch." 

Some prideful part of you wanted to be mad, but his voice was all patience and gentleness. You couldn't stay angry, he’d understand later, once you’d had time to explain.

You turned away from the fighting, not wanting to think about the thousands of gnashing teeth and cruel eyes of the enemy that almost saw to your destruction that day. It might have been cowardly, well no, it was. But that’s what you were by nature, even if no one but yourself recognized that. Deep inside yourself you wished to be a hero, wished to be as valiant and stalwart as those you loved and occasionally fought alongside. You wished you could really be the person people saw you as. Some great humanitarian and a worthwhile individual who didn’t just luck your way into these victories.

You could see the retreated populace in the distance. Wounded and tired. They needed rest and shelter. Then an idea came to you. Maybe you could be a hero today. Even in some minor capacity.

When the green skins had at last been driven back into a valley and trapped, Sanguinius left them to be cleaned up by his legion. They would be easy to finish off now. Trapped as they were.

He found you working, still with his faithful Son by your side. He relieved the marine of his post and sent him to finish the battle. 

"The battle is nearly over. We'll be heading back to the Red Tear soon."

You didn't respond verbally, just nodded.

Your eyes were fixed on the tent pole in your hands as you secured it against the planet’s powerful breeze. The civilians were receiving care and being served small meals as an immediate relief effort.

"I want to continue helping set up the tents and serving the meals." 

"I know." He couldn't apologize, he hadn't done anything wrong in ensuring your safety, but he still felt as if he'd had. 

"The orcs have been driven back, can I stay to help now?" You asked.

He nodded and offered a hand to secure the tent’s pole, you let him take it. You smiled and moved on to the next pole.  'Good, at least she doesn't hate me.' Sanguinius thought.

The whole company stayed several days longer than expected. The orks were long dead, their bodies burned. You'd insisted on staying and giving aid, it was the charitable thing to do. 

The people thanked you all profusely. Some gave near religious bouts of praise to them.

Sangunius took their thanks for the extended aid as he always did. With humility, and grace. But there was a bit of selfishness to it. He wanted you to be happy with him again. It didn't take long for that to happen but he still took those extra few days to ensure it. Not that you gave him as much time anyways, not with the amount of injuries that needed attending and the amount of mouths there was to cook for. You'd been going almost non-stop, helping loved ones reunite, helping burn those that were dead by the hands of the orks and burying those that died after.

The humans began to look to you as some sort of authority or guide. Seeing you lead them and the respect the people held for you made his heart flutter and his wings ruffle. 

He'd need to get you alone sooner rather than later.

This wasn't the place for all that.

When there was enough order at last he ordered everyone to begin returning to the Red Tear.

"My love?" Sanguinius addressed you as you both arrived on the ship. You turned to look up at him. “Yes, my Angel?” He felt a thrill of excitement shoot up his spine and his wings practically hummed, he loved when you called him that, mostly cause you only called him that when you were happy. But he pushed it down and maintained his calm and casual air. “May we speak in my office?”

You nodded and followed him across the ship. A little light in his long shadow. Still despite how little you felt people still whispered your name as if you were some hero of the imperium. Passing voices recounting your "heroic" deed of killing the warboss. They didn't even know the faintest hint of the truth. You looked up to watch Sanguinius, in all his regal beauty. He was too good for a coward like you, was all you could think.

His office was as lovely as the rest of the ship and you made an effort to use admiring it to avoid the upcoming conversation. Sanguinius was generally good at reading you despite your best efforts. He stayed quiet and let you have some time, he could sense you needed it. But it couldn't last forever.

"You've been in my office many times. Surely the trimming can't be all that new or exciting to you, darling." Sanguinius urged at last.

"Speak for yourself, I just noticed a brand new spot I've never noticed before, and it is delightful."

Sanguinius smiled despite himself.

"You know why I want to talk."

It was true, you did. But you didn't want to have to explain that you were a coward to your dauntless lover. 

"I know." Was all you could get out before your throat tightened and the first few tears dropped unbidden from your eyes as you continued to avoid meeting his gaze.

The sight of your tears had an immediate effect on the man, primarch or no he was still your lover and he hated seeing you distressed. He reached for you and you let him take you into his arms. His wings followed, wrapping you up in their power and protection. 

"Darling, what's wrong? I'm not angry with you if you're worried about that." Part of you was but it was a much smaller part than the voice in your head that kept calling you a coward and a liar.

"I didn't want to disobey your orders the other day." You said, strangely flat in tone. Your eyes still leaked those darned salty tears but you'd already begun and you couldn't stop now. "I didn't want to be on the battlefield at all to be completely honest with you." You'd never told him how much you didn't actually like the field of battle.

"Then why? What could have possessed you to do what you did."

"It was an accident, I was chased onto the field… by a squig."

Sanguinius could picture this new version of events clearly. And to his own self he felt ashamed, not just for getting cross with you but for the almost sickening sense of relief that flooded every inch of him. It was a new reason to keep you here, on his flagship and away from the battlefield.

His wings closed in tightly on you and he continued to listen.

"It was one of those that was covered in bombs. And I ran, I had a lasgun, I could have shot it. But I ran, like a coward." 

Sanguinius held you tighter and shook his head. "You're not, you had to get to a safer distance before you could do anything."

It was your turn to shake your head then. "I didn't even think about that. I was just scared and I ran."

Sanguinius was quiet. "Why did you ask to come along with us to the surface?" He was changing the subject, trying to give you a break from the previous line of thought. 

"I didn't. I made a joke about wishing I could spend the day with you despite the battle and it was put in as an official request to join you."

Sanguinius's wings puffed in frustration and a measure of anger. That such a sentiment should have resulted in your endangerment.

"I'm sorry, my love. That shouldn't have happened." He kissed the top of your head but you didn't respond. A claw of worry tore at him and he gave you a gentle squeeze. All that came from you was a quiet shuddering sob.

"Why are you crying?" He asked at last, trying to keep his voice calm so as not to add to the stress of the situation. Sanguinius was loathed to admit that seeing you like this left him feeling helpless. And he despised seeing you cry.

"Because now you know." You choked out, voice heavier with grief.

“Darling, I don’t think you are a coward. I think that you were in a stressful situation and reacted. You are not used to being on the field of battle. Besides, your actions today did help us. Even if I was terrified for your safety.” “You were terrified?” You asked, astonished, eyes wide and still wet with tears. “Of course I was, I heard over the vox that a rhino had landed on you. How could I not be terrified?” He drew in a breath. “I don’t know what I’d do without you.”

Sanguinius tilted your chin up just a bit. “I love you.” He whispered the words so softly you almost questioned whether or not you had actually heard him right. “I love you too.” His lips brushed softly against yours, the kiss was sweet and he filled it with all the concern and love he’d felt over the past several days. “I think I’d like to just stay on the ship from now on. And I’ll just have your time and affection when things are settled.”

The primarch breathed quietly in relief. “Good. Because I’m not willing to risk your safety after all of that.”You both chuckled and he lifted you up. “Now let's get cleaned up. And I’ll give you some of that much desired affection.”

[david-goldrock]

The following is a song I love

It's a song about stereotypes and embracing complexities

the stereotypes are Israeli stereotypes, so near the ones that won't make sense, imma put an explanation in squigely brackets

[Verse 1] How easy it is to flow with the brain in automatic conditioning that do not require you to work hard Only to tag and bark, incite and sacrifice (something to a god) To the rating idols (also fake gods), items with full strength Everything is already arranged in our heads drawer by drawer- No, we cannot allow reality to prevent us from seeing that

Every leftist is a traitor Every Arab is a suicide terrorist Every haredi (ultra-Orthodox) robes in daylight {the Haredi population in Israel is often criticized for taking egregious amounts of money while they don't serve in the army and many don't work, that is often called שוד = robbery in daylight} And all the settlers murdered Rabin {After the assassination of former prime minister Yitzhak Rabin, many settlers were blamed for the assassination, both because they were a part of the demonstrations against him and the fact Yigal Amir, the assassinator, was a settler} All of Tel Aviv is vegan {Tel Aviv is the city with the most vegans in the world} All of Netivot is traditional- down to earth {I don't know this stereotype tbh} All the religious are primitive with a tassel and while doing so, they erased Darwin

[Chorus] Do not lock me up in any cage Don't summarize me on Wikipedia I am everything, I am nothing Infinite light clothed in a body So don't lock me up in any cage

[House 2] Call me Don Quixote who dares to challenge Put a bounty on my head and a guillotine in the square The demons their time had passed And the king is naked Erase everything you knew about me until today No, I am not the settler, not a representative of God Not a dos (slur for religious people) that excludes women Not a bridge between the sectors {Hanan Ben-Ari, the singer and songwriter, is often called "a bridge between the (secular and religious) sectors" because he is a figure both sectors feel attached and connected to} May The sectors burn, May the prejudices burn And everyone will have a chance to write their own story

Because if everything is visible and known in advance cliché by cliché No, we cannot allow reality to prevent us from seeing that Every Mizrahi is oppressed, Every secular is a dirty infidel All the women should be in the kitchen And all the Russians are in love with Stalin {which is the wildest stereotype on the list because, come on, they hate him so much} All the endings have ended {a hebrew saying meaning all hope is lost, a sentiment the singer despises} Every member of the Knesset is a pot of vermin All Ethiopians run (well) and those who don't, sing with Raychel {a joke about people who say they are not racist, and then talk about the Idan Raychel project, in which many ethiopian jews sang with him.}

[Chorus] Do not lock me up in any cage Don't summarize me on Wikipedia I am everything, I am nothing Infinite light clothed in a body So don't lock me up in any cage

[bridge] A day will come one day A day will come one day

[chorus/outro] A day will come and you will not be lock me up in any cage You won't summarize me on Wikipedia I am everything, I am nothing I came naked and I such I will return So don't put me in any cage Do not put me in any cage

This is just for the irony

[potatoesandsunshine]

hi anna!!! for the dvd commentary we ARE here with this section from and you can use my skin to bury secrets in. you know how this Affects me but i will say it again Truly It Makes My Brain Static (positive).

“If you want Tay Kolma so badly, there are ways to have him,” Perrin says, his voice shattering the quiet. Mon thanks every star that Leida is already at school. She sets her datapad down and looks at her husband, laying across one of the low couches like he doesn’t have a care in the world. He’s in blue today. “You’re jealous of him,” Mon says, thinking of the bitter fizz of squigs. “I won’t bring disorder into our lives that way.” You selfish fuck. “I’m not jealous,” Perrin refutes. “You never were, with the opera singers and the dancers. And I’m just as secure as you.” Mon does not throw the nearest vase at his head, no matter how badly she wants to. Violence between partners has no place in a Chandrilan marriage; hate does, certainly, but to raise a hand would be so… uncouth.

HI ABBY!!!!! always happy to think about Them...

“If you want Tay Kolma so badly, there are ways to have him,” Perrin says, his voice shattering the quiet.

Mon thanks every star that Leida is already at school.

this is the very start of the fic, and i wanted to establish what it was about immediately. we’re only here for like a thousand words, there is not time to beat around the bush. this is also a ‘we’re not gonna get leida involved in this situation’ signpost from me, because everybody hates her but that’s My Daughter. that’s my lydia bennet (too young, too doomed, i cannot save her). she will be protected from all of this nonsense.

She sets her datapad down and looks at her husband, laying across one of the low couches like he doesn’t have a care in the world. He’s in blue today.

andor is a show with really strong visuals, which is great because i don’t have to do too much setting description; i also see blue as a color that represents tay, since i think we see him in it a couple times :) so it’s like *perrin, getting dressed to pick a fight with his wife*: everything i see makes me think about Him... (this is also a direct precursor to The Tailor Scene in the other fic)

“You’re jealous of him,” Mon says, thinking of the bitter fizz of squigs. “I won’t bring disorder into our lives that way.” You selfish fuck.

i really think she only gets to curse in her head; everything about her goes into maintaining a mask. rip. also, there’s a lot of Star Wars Vocab out there that’s like ‘and this word replaces X curse etc etc’ and i think it’s all cringeworthy. i’m not using it.

“I’m not jealous,” Perrin refutes.

lie lmao. the good part of this for him is partially that he’s extremely jealous, which is a break in the monotony.

“You never were, with the opera singers and the dancers. And I’m just as secure as you.”

but this part is true!! mon truly does not care what her husband does, as long as appearances are maintained; there’s a scene at one point in the show where they have this awful breakfast with leida and she gets very ‘gasp! what do you mean my family doesn’t like me’ which is... in my opinion a moment where she’s fallen for her own illusion. and they are both equally secure in their marriage, in that they both hate it so much! and they’re both desperate for something to come along and crack things open.

Mon does not throw the nearest vase at his head, no matter how badly she wants to. Violence between partners has no place in a Chandrilan marriage; hate does, certainly, but to raise a hand would be so… uncouth.

this was a pretty important moment for me in establishing the stakes again - i like their domestic strife, but i am not comfortable with it escalating into violence. that’s not something i want to write about, and i had noticed a trend in a lot of mon/tay fics to paint perrin as a lot more physically abusive than he is in the show (there’s literally none of that? why is it there now?) that really squicked me out. so no, this relationship is awful, but it's not that flavor of awful.

i really do love this fic so much and it gave me new brain worms <3 they’re in my head 24/7. nothing to be done about it.

[squigglesaturn]

Intro post thing? 🪐

Call me Saturn or Squig!

I am 18, but this is a sfw blog bc i’m a repulsed asexual

Multifandom artist who is insane the album Atlas: Enneagram

Timezone: NZST

——

Current fandoms:

Ace Attorney, The dragon prince, Dungeon Meshi, Pokemon, Epic the musical

AUs:

Gramalgamate, AA ageswap AU, Werellum AU, Sokkallum reincarnation AU

——

And.. that’s about all i can think of to write about? Have a good day who ever is reading this ig!! ^^ 🪐

[kingwithpaintedfingers]

As promised!! My recommendations for Warhammer 40k reading

So, rayshell22live asked me what I thought GW was doing wrong vis a vis Warhammer 40k, and I responded with a rant about Black Library instead.

Oops. (Listen, a lot of this is pent up...)

But! I promised (myself) I would list my favorite stuff I've read from Warhammer 40k. For ease of access, I have divided it into several categories.

XENOS

There are not enough stories about Xenos. And apparently a lot of them aren't good. But here are a couple I read and liked!

The Infinite and the Divine by Robert Rath: Everyone recommends this, and for good reason. Fun, sometimes lighthearted, sometimes deep, it's the story of two old robots who hate each other but are forced to work together. It's a tale of two opposing forces, the past and the future, and what they both could mean for the present of the Necron race. Come for the dinosaurs and enemies-to-friends, stay for the old man fights and pranks gone horribly wrong.

War in the Museum by Robert Rath: Basically a deleted scene from The Infinite and the Divine. A short story.

Brutal Kunnin' by Mike Brooks: Orks vs. Tech Priests. Turned out to have way more humans than I would have liked, but still fun! Includes some hell-yeah moments and very quotable lines AND includes TWO non-binary characters! Very nice. Introduces two heroes for the ages: Ufthak Blackhawk, and his squig. The best squig.

Road Rage and Where Dere's Da Warp Dere's a Way by Mike Brooks: More Ufthak shenanigans! Both short stories.

Da Gobbo's Revenge by Mike Brooks: A Grot, tired of being abused by Orks, takes up the role of the ancient Grot hero Da Red Gobbo and begins a revolution. A novella, not long but fun.

The Hand of Darkness by Gav Thorpe: A lovely audio drama about Yvraine, the last hope of the Aeldari, on a mad quest to deprive Chaos of a dangerous asset. (Or, when I want to pretend to be bitter, "Rob's Not Actually Girlfriend (Seriously, She's Just An Ally) Breaks Into Mort's Basement and Ruins the Only Piece of Art He's Ever Made" It is a fantastically emo piece of art, I can't believe I've never referenced it in a fanfic before.) It's a good audio drama, I like it!

The Child Foretold by Nicholas Kaufmann: This one. This one is so. So freaking. GOOD. I just. It's so good??? A man adopts a baby. He has no idea what he's gotten himself into. Warning, it's also from Warhammer Horror.

And, recommended by friends, though I haven't read them yet:

The Twice-Dead King by Nate Crowley: A series of novels about a Necron phaeron trying to save his dynasty. Supposed to be really good, if less humorous than The Infinite and the Divine.

Day of Ascension by Adrian Tchaikovsky. Supposed to be a really good sci-fi novel all around, it tells the tale of a genestealer uprising.

THE CIAPHAS CAIN SERIES by Sandy Mitchell

Listen, you're either going to love this series, or you're going to hate it. Most people can get over the stylistic choices (seriously, there are a lot of phrases that are repeated over and over and over and over and over again by the author), but others find those phrases grating after a while. Give the series a try (personally I think the series gets really good with the second and third books) and decide for yourself. If you like it, you're in good company, and if you don't, that's okay, you're still in good company. Personal highlights for me include The Traitor's Hand, Death or Glory, Cain's Last Stand, the audio drama Dead in the Water, and the novella Good Soldiers Never Die.

BOOKS THAT MENTION MORTARION

There is probably at least one person out there who wants to know what books I recommend for the way I write him. So I included this in its own section.

The Buried Dagger by James Swallow: my first Horus Heresy novel, and the last one before the Siege. Aka "Oh Fuck, We Forgot to Give Mortarion an Actual Personality and Now He Needs to Do Some Emotional Heavy Lifting." And let me just say, Swallow knocks it out the fucking park on this one. I cried. Then I found out he's not written like this in almost ANY other story, even ones by James Swallow, and I cried even more. Do yourself a favor, pick up the audio book, because the way Jonathon Keebler says "I know" in Interval Two is heartbreaking.

"Lantern's Light" by James Swallow: A lot of BL books have what I like to call a "companion short story" that goes with it. This is the one for Mortarion's half of The Buried Dagger. It elaborates Mort's relationship with the Emperor and why it's so bad (hint: it has nothing to do with the Emperor killing his adopted dad).

Unification by Chris Wraight: One of Mortarion's sons reflects on why he follows Mortarion into battle. A companion short story to The Lords of Silence (see below).

Mortarion Pale King of Barbarus and Verdict of the Scythe by David Annandale: While I wish they had gone more in-depth with his character, they both provide us with some intriguing details into how Mortarion wages war in the Great Crusade, and why he does it in the way he does. As well as what his brothers think of him, and how that weighs on him and his actions (a lot more than he's willing to admit).

The above are really good for Mortarion as his own character, and the tragic protagonist of his own story.

Scars, the Path of Heaven, and Warhawk by Chris Wraight: Whereas these stories are good at depicting Mortarion as his own villainous character. Most stories twist and turn Mortarion's personality to depict him as the Jungian shadow of whatever character is the protagonist of this series. Not so the Jaghatai Khan trilogy. Here he is still (mostly) recognizable as the same character as the Buried Dagger's Mortarion, but now he's a villain. Kind of. He's not the main villain of the first two books, but he kind of is for the third one? He doesn't show up often, but it's interesting when he does.

Daemonology by Chris Wraight: There's only one paragraph from his perspective, and it's the last paragraph of the story. Regardless, it provides us with a rare look at how people weaker than Mortarion who aren't on his good side see him. And it shows us that, like the witches and sorcerers he hates, Mortarion has more brains than sense.

Honorable mentions:

Grandfather's Gift by Guy Haley, because Mortarion enjoys a garden in it and it mentions how much pain Mortarion's transformation is (also, he's mostly naked for most of it, make of that what you will). Flight of the Eisenstein by James Swallow has one or two good scenes with Mortarion, but he's barely in it.

HORUS HERESY AND PRIMARCHS

Saturnine by Dan Abnett: Some people hated it, some people loved it, personally I'm in the Loved It camp? It had some memorable moments and some interesting battles! On the other hand, if you're a Fulgrim fan, skip it, it does him no favors. If you're a Perturabo fan, give it a try! He gets some great Only Sane Man moments (and a shirtless scene. That's not important, but it's there.)

Magnus the Red Master of Prospero by Graham McNeill: It's a Magnus book, but it's a fuckin' banger for Perturabo. Good stuff. Petition to have McNeill write all the Perturabo stuff? Just...not the War of Rust, please.

Lorgar Bearer of the Word by Gav Thorpe: Holy shit, did Lorgar not have a happy childhood. Depicts him very sympathetically!

Fulgrim the Palatine Phoenix by Josh Reynolds and Ferrus Manus Gorgon of Medusa by David Guymer: Both of these go on the list for having scenes that live rent-free in my head, most of them involving either Fulgrim or one of Fulgrim's sons. Josh Reynolds is a really good writer in general, though I think he might be the one who doesn't write for GW/BL anymore.

A Lesson in Darkness by Ian St. Martin: Creepy, serial killer fun starring Konrad Curze doing creepy, fucked-up Night Haunter shit. An Audio Drama.

Angron Slave of Nuceria by Ian St. Martin: a grim look at Angron's backstory, and how the suffering he experienced in his past doomed his entire legion. There's a companion short story called "Ghosts of Nuceria," but I'm saving that one for when I really, really need to cry as if the world is ending, so I haven't read it yet. I've read part of it already and man. Man.

OTHERS FROM 40K

The Lords of Silence by Chris Wraight: Generally agreed to be one of the best Chaos Space Marine novels, it follows the story of a warband of Death Guard, the titular Lords of Silence, as they wage war and have existential crises. Introspective and philosophical at times, and always careful to make everyone a well-rounded character, has mystery elements. The story is told out of order and in the present tense, so if those are dealbreakers for you, you'll have to sit them out. also includes a great scene with Mortarion okay thanks bye

The Way Out by Rachel Harrison: part of the Black Library's Warhammer Horror line, it's an audio drama that will keep you guessing until the end. Spooky and creepy and mysterious.

A couple more honorable mentions to round things out. The following all have scenes that live rent-free in my mind, all are either short stories or novels from Warhammer Horror, all take place in 40k:

The Deacon of Wounds by David Annandale; The Bookkeeper's Skull by Justin D. Hill; Imperator Gladio by Richard Strachan.

AND A FEW FROM AGE OF SIGMAR Not very many, though, because I haven't read very many...

Hallowed Knights: Plague Garden by Josh Reynolds: the only AoS novel I've ever read. Loved it. If Torgun dies, I'll fucking riot. Part of a series that may have been stopped, sadly.

The Vintage by David Annandale: a Warhammer Horror short story I hated the first time, loved the second time. Got a really killer premise, pun not intended. From that one year where Games Workshop decided that all of the Warhammer Horror Week stories would be about vampires.

Anyway, some of the stuff I enjoyed.

[hiddenchallenger]

Non-boring fact about Waluigi "true?" nature

I assume that everyone who knows at least some things about Waluigi and Warhammer 40k, at some point notices this incredible similarity between Waluigi and theoretical "purple" (stealth-oriented) ork. Even for me, whlie my knowledge of the Mario universe limited to a handfull of funny videos and 1.5 levels of Super Mario Bros, and my knowledge of Warhammer 40k universe - to some lore videos (OK, a lot of lore videos), connection is obvious - purple colour of legendary "sneaky" ork (so sneaky that no one have seen them, and it's not JUST a giggle, it's lore-accurate), "Waa!" as variation of "Waaagh!" (again, sneaky version), connection to the mushroom kingdom (warhammer 40k orks are, essentially, Fungi) and so on. Then you're going to write about it, but - if you're lucky - check if someone written about it before, and eventually undestand that this is quite an old meme. Bo-ring.

What could be not so boring is the fact that orcs are completely bold. But they sometimes have somithing reasembling hair, and that's their symbiotic creatures - hair squigs. So if you look at the picture of Waluigi, you can get that if he's some hidden ork, his nose - only part of his body that connects to both his mustache and eyebrows - must be variation of such a creature, hair squig. Probably special version, just for legendary purple orks.

There is one more thing, though. Hair squigs are not only for style. They can be used to heal an ork from serious wound - but die in the process.

So - don't harm Waluigi, or he will have to kill his nose.

[rachi-roo]

Request you say? Oo, I think I might have one!

How about some good ol' tickles for Moriarty The Patriot? They've been on my mind lately- perhaps with the Moriarty brothers and Jack? (If you haven't met him yet, just the brothers please and thank you :3) You can pick the roles, though admittedly I'd love to see some Lee!William! :D

Hope this helps some with your writers block! Take all the time you need with this and happy writing!

SQUIGGILY!!! You're a Saint 🥹👏 I had so much fun writing thiiiis!!!! I has met Jackie boi. He kinda 👀 for an old bloke

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Moriarty the Patriot: Kid's at Heart

Squig coming in with the save, got me out of my writer's block! 🥳

Summary: It's been far too long since the Moriarty brothers relaxed for real. A single touch stirs up a harmless tussle as all their plans are put on hold for just a short while.

Mixed lee/lers 💕 William, Louis, Albert and Jack

Tw: None

------------{ ☆°•○•°☆ }------------

"Apologies for my lateness, gents." Albert beamed, hanging his top hat and coat on the rack by the door. William and Louis had been waiting for their brother in the main lounge.

"Quite alright, brother. Was there another issue with your transport?" William asked, folding his paper and setting it on the coffee table in front of him.

"You could say that, yes. There was a group of young boy's playing in the street, I did not want to disturb their game, so waited in the carriage for them to finish." He chuckled, taking a seat opposite William, thanking Louis as he poured him some tea.

"Waiting for children to finish their game? What an odd excuse. Good thing it's us you're talking to, I'm not sure such a statement would be taken well by others." William smiled, knowing full well he would have done the same unless it was an emergency of course.

Jack had been organising books in the corner, overhearing their conversation. "I remember, long ago now, when you were all still young yourselves, having to stop you from playing in the streets at one point. All children do it at least once." He laughed at the memory.

William blushed faintly, he always did whenever childhood antics were brought up in conversation. He cleared his throat, picking up his tea from the coffee table. "Yes, well, that was a long time ago now. It's been a long time since we've done anything childish like that."

"Oh?" Jack looked over his shoulder at the boys, placing the last book back into it's spot in the shelves. "And why is that?" He asked, walking over, stopping behind the sofa William was settled on.

"Beg your pardon? What do you mean why? It's simply because we aren't children anymore." He shrugged off the question, enjoying his drink. Louis eyed Jack carefully, he was up to something.

Albert chuckled, shaking his head. "I don't believe you've done a single childish thing your whole life, William." The blonde's blush deepened.

"O-Of course I have. But there was a time and a place for those things, and unfortunately, given our backgrounds, those times were far few. That's all."

Jack raised a brow, looking down at the boy he had essentially raised. It was sad to think that they had all missed out on a real childhood. He grinned, an idea sparking in his head. "Well, what about now? Is now not an opportune time for some childish antics?"

"Well, I suppose so. But- Ah!" William jumped, almost spilling his drink as he was suddenly attacked by two sets of fingers pressing into his ribs.

He froze, his cheeks heating up as he blinked in shock. Was he just tickled?! "Wh- Jack! What the bleddy hell-?!" He turned, glaring up at his mentor slash butler. His heart raced when he saw the expression on the older man's face. "N-Now Jack-" He quickly set down his drink, standing from the sofa to attempt to scold him. "You should know better than to d-Oho!" Another hand suddenly grabbed William's side from behind, squeezing a few times.

"Hehey!" He spun, staring at his second attacker. Albert stood directly behind him, a smirk on his face. "Well, I'd say now is a perfectly good time for some childish behavior."

"A-Albert! This is completely unacceptable- You can't- This isn't- Wahait!" William grew flustered, a smile already pulling at his lips as he backed away from his advancing brother. "Dohon't! I-I mean it! Albert!" His legs hit the frame of the sofa, and he plopped back down onto the cushions, Albert used the moment to attack.

He stood between William's legs, preventing him from getting up as he started bombarding him with tickles, latching onto the blonde's sides, shaking his fingers in with a grin.

"Oho gohohod! Noho! A-Ahalbert!" He bundled his arms at his sides, trying his best to defend himself, his legs kicking out knocking the coffee table as he fought.

"Oh, lord-..." Louis quickly and quietly moved the tea set from the table so it wouldn't be damaged.

"Albert! Aha! I-I swehear! If you don't stAHA-!" William flopped onto his side as Albert pressed on his stomach, apparently that was a particularly sensitive spot. He tried curling up on the sofa, to protect his tummy sending a stray cushion flying as he squirmed around.

"Ah, ah, ah, no footwear on the furniture, William. Honestly what kind of slob are you?" Albert teased, trying to work his fingers into any available spot they could reach. "Darn, come on now, open up!" He laughed with him, looking up as a gloved hand came to grab William's wrist, pulling one arm out of the way, and holding it steady over his head. Jack gave Albert a wink. "Happy to help." He smiled.

"Why thank you." Albert laughed, immediately attacking William's underarm now it was exposed.

"No! No not that! Ahalbehehert! Ahahehehehe!" William's laughter grew giggly and boyish, his free hand trying to cover his underarm or bat Albers hand away. "Enough! God dahamn it, Ahalbert!"

William tugged on his arm, managing to get free, reaching over and squeezing Albert's hips. "Sehehee how you like it!" He grinned, watching Albert's cheeks instantly heat up before he grabbed William's wrists, trying to lean away from the attack.

"H-Hehey! No this isn't-! Ahaa!" He crumbled to the floor, with William following, still squeezing the man's hips. He ended up standing over Albert, trapping him between the coffe table and the sofa, bending over to dish out his revenge. Meticulously poking at any exposed points on Albert's sides and ribs.

"Hohold on! Haha! I-I'm sohorry! Forgive mehehe! Wihihilliam!" Albert was clearly more ticklish than William was, and the blonde wasn't going to waste that fact. He latched onto his brother's ribs, massaging his thumbs into the sensitive bone, all while smiling and laughing with him.

Albert arched his back, trying to pull William's hands away. "Ahahaha! O-Ohoho nohohoho! Hahahaha!" His laughter was deeper, it came from all the way down in his stomach. His kicking legs scuffed up the edge of the rug as he flailed.

"What's the matter, Albert? I thought you said this was a perfectly good time for some childish behaviour. Did you not?" William teased, enjoying watching their, usually level-headed, oldest brother wriggling like a fish out of water.

"Gents, you're going to damage something if you are not careful." A small voice came from behind. The two tussling looked over at Louis, who had crouched to pick up the stray cushion that had fallen from the sofa, dusting it off with a slap. "At last take this outside." He grumbled to himself, unaware that the two had stopped. Not until it was too late anyway.

"Wehell now, if you were feeling left out you should have just said so." Albert chuckled as William helped him to his feet before they both made a dash for Louis, who never stood a chance.

"Huh?! No, that's not what I meant! Ah!" He was tackled to the floor, Albert and William pinning one arm each as they both tickled him. Albert poked and scribbled at his tummy whilst William squeezed his side. Poor Louis was instantly in hysterics, shaking his head and arching his whole body. "Nohoho! Ahahah! I-I didn't-! Hyahahaaa!"

Albert smirked, unbuttoning Louis's waistcoat, leaving only a shirt to protect him. "Oh well, this is much easier." He chimed, happily watching his brother's giddy expression as the tickles got worse. His cheeks were bright red, both with embarrassment and laughter, he couldn't even keep his eyes open or plead with them for his freedom.

"Haha, quite the chatterbox, aren't you, Louis?" Albert teased, suddenly yelping as he felt a hand on his side. William was on the attack again, switching his target.

"Un-buttoning a gentleman's waistcoat without permission? You truly are a rude little blouse!" He chuckled, releasing Louis and fully attacking Albert again.

"Hold on! I was just- Pff-Ahahaha!"

The room was filled with laughter. The pile of brothers all play fighting and wrestling, ticking each other before switching targets and becoming the victim again. Their hair grew wild and frizzy, their clothes wrinkling and shirts becoming un-tucked as they fought.

Jack stood in the corner, watching his work play out. Glad to see the brothers were still capable of having fun in such a manner. He would have to initiate another brawl like this again sometime.

There was an unexpected knock on the door before Moran and Fred walked in. "We got your tele-" The pair froze, stunned by what they had walked in on.

The brothers also froze, staring right back, wide-eyed. "Um... Afternoon?" Albert offered with a wave as William quickly climbed out of the pile, trying to straighten himself out as he cleared his throat, giggling into his hand at the ghost tickles. "Um, yes, good afternoon. I uh, assume you read my m-Ehehe!" He turned, glaring at Albert after he'd given William one last poke for good luck.

There was definitely going to be sweet revenge on the horizon.

[nightafternightpod]

07.11: Love is the Tar Pits

New podcast time! Lenny happens upon a pretty young coed named Karen Caldwell while strolling along the La Brea Tar Pits with Squiggy one day. Lenny is smitten, and defends her from a masher (whom he sets upon a shockingly receptive Laverne). From those seeds sprouts a relationship of surprising durability. Squiggy, however, is jealous and feels left out in the cold. The showdown ends with Karen announcing she must leave for New York to complete her doctorate, vowing to write Lenny. Can he handle the rejection? Will his friendship with Squig survive?

On-Pod, we praise the performances, have some issues with the slut shaming, and salute Maggie Roswell.

@

YT: https://youtu.be/oxJzra1P2QA Apple: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/love-is-the-tar-pits-s7e11/id1511414778?i=1000624257071 Spotify: https://open.spotify.com/episode/0We7ikTdat1IidpUHG9a9y?si=vPvU5POSTtGzY63Z19KhgA Amazon: https://music.amazon.com/podcasts/f8beec7e-ad15-4c65-bd9e-a959373b61cf/episodes/98c7ab59-2c39-45fc-856a-0068a54b94a3/night-after-night-love-is-the-tar-pits-s7e11

[hetchofficial]

Don't think just because that show was good my last message isn't what I would still do if I wasn't so busy.

But also, it's been so much fun to see you finally get more directly involved in the shows recently! Maybe one day we could even do something together, though that would have to be scheduled ages in advance.

- Squig

The last message being this one, right?

If it makes you feel any better I’m going to take a walk on the top floor. Not the roof. But I am walking around so, there.

As for collabing I mean I guess? One Last Time was supposed to be my last live appearance for a while. Ya know, make the impact felt? I don’t know. I’m fried from writing for three weeks straight and then being in a live production.

The gun in my left hand was real also, so I had to be careful to not fire it and I’m. Very tired.

Basically if you have an idea, sure, but for now I’m going to take a walk.

[giggly-squiggily]

Hello Squig! (If I can call you that lol)

I have a headcannon that Kyogai (the demon in that mansion) has been tickled by some of the upper or lower ranks after losing his own! I feel like Rui and him may have a rivalry and sometime ago it turned into a full fledged tickle fight? Idk, there's no content about my baby and it saddens me. Regardless, have a wonderful day/night!!

Headcanons To Dabbles: Officially CLOSED!

Heyo friend! :D (And of course you can call me Squig! Squig, Squiggles, Squiggily, Giggles, Giggly, etc- whatever variation of it works for me :3) OO, I haven't written for our Drummer boy yet! This is beyond cute! I've gotcha covered!

Footsteps padded along the wooden floor of his abandoned home. Kyogai would have smacked his drum and sent them flying hadn’t he recognized the smell.

Moss. Tree bark.

Rui.

“Come to mock me, Spider?” He growled, his bloodlust melding into annoyance at the presence of a lower moon in his home. He knew he should show some respect- even before he lost his number, Rui still ranked higher. But he was cranky and shamed and tired and figured Rui was only here to kill him by Muzan’s request, so he might as well go down fighting.

“You left this at the mountain.” White hands came over his shoulder, holding out a paper. Kyogai recognized it immediately, snatching it up and holding it protectively against his chest. One of his failed short stories. “Don’t litter in my territory.”

“...” Kyogai glared at the wall as he heard Rui start to leave. Then the Spider paused.

“I read it.” The drummer stiffened, waiting for judgment. 

“It was rather nice.”

When he was gone, it was only then did Kyogai let his tears fall.

~~~

“Back for another story, Spider?” Kyogai asked many months later, perking up when he saw Rui enter his domain. This was their dynamic now- Rui would come around when the mountain was empty or the demons there grew irritating, and Kyogai would welcome him with stories. He liked the child’s company- it's been far too long since a non-hostile demon showed up at his home.

“No.” Rui told him flatly, eyes glinting. “I’m here for a different thing.”

Okay- maybe he wasn’t completely non-hostile.

“Ah.” Kyogai smirked, putting aside his writings as he stood. “Very good then. You wish to fight.” Another development in their friendship it seemed; they sparred often to test each other's abilities.

Rui spread his hands, a web forming between them. His face was somber but his eyes danced. “Ready?”

Kyogai raised a hand to his drum, grinning.

Then, he tapped.

~~~

“Hooohohld on! Hohoohohold on, tihihihihihme out!” The drummer demon cackled and flailed, trying and failing to reach the drum on his belly. “Ruuhuhuuhuuhhui!”

“You never think about my webbing, do you?” Rui tsked, voice calm as he carried on scribbling along Kyogai’s ribs, sitting on his back so he couldn’t teleport away. “You tried to send me flying out of the room. Forget spider’s tend to stick everywhere?”

“Youohoohoohohu lihihihihilttle infehehehhestahahahhahasion!” Kyogai cried, cackling loudly when Rui dug into his armpits. “I’m shahahahharry! I’m shahahhahrry, I tahahhahake it bahahahhahck!”

“I got a story.” Rui declared suddenly, still tickling as his lips quirked up into a devious grin. “It’s called ‘The Drummer Man and The Pesky Spider.’ Ever heard of it? Apparently it’s a real rib tickler.”

[showfallmediacameracrew]

[This post was made using Showfall Media Text-To-Speech. If you believe there's been an error and would like to end Showfall Media Text-To-Speech, please say 'End transcript'. ]

[Sound of careful footsteps and something soft brushing against the floor, something heavy scraping or pushed aside]

[Nonverbal input detected. Registered: cleared throat]

J: Hey.

S: Well hello there… are you lost? I'm sure I can take you back to your set.

J: Nah, I'm good. This shit might make you think otherwise, but I’m a DP, not an actor. Just taking a break from shooting, thought it’d be fun to see what broke. 

S: Ah… I see. Well, here it is. Luckily, it's a lot of nothing. Though I think maybe I should talk to Hetch about how much they are underutilizing the space they have, seriously, use the whole mall if you're going to have a whole mall…

J: The person who did this definitely took advantage that no one was around. Wasn't even brave enough to try and kill anybody. It would have been much more impressive if someone had managed that. 

[Nonverbal input detected. Registered: huff of breath and brief silence] 

J: I’m Jasprix, who are you? You look like the type who wouldn't appreciate being called Purple Lady, or something less polite. 

S: You can call me Squig, and did I hear you right? You know who did… all this?

J: You're named like the Mascot? 

S: I am the one who plays Squiggles after all. Or well, most of the time.

J: Oh shit, that's cool. I thought it was just like a computer thing or AI or something. 

[Nonverbal input detected. Registered as: short quick chuckle]

J: Anyways, yeah. I know the name of the guy who failed to do anything actually interesting or permanent. Guy decided minor inconvenience is his whole existence. I have no idea where he is though.

S: They never end up doing anything permanent, they always care too much about 'the people' to do anything too drastic. I've seen it plenty of times before. Anyways, a name would be helpful regardless of a lack of location.

J: It’s so funny too, so easy to anger while thinking he’s hot shit and accomplished nothing. His name is Marvin, I guess he escaped the little kiddy show he was put in. 

S: Marvin… Marvin…

[Sound of a thick fabric tapping against a screen]

S: Ah, yes, there does seem to be a missing actor with the name Marvin, and he was missing even before the explosions. Which makes sense, hard to rig multiple explosives while acting in… "The Little Healer"... is Hetch trying to write kid shows again?

J: Considering I met the child playing the healer, and she tried to heal my fake wings, yeah. Hetch made a cool ass movie then decided to do a kids show spinoff for it. Marvin’s wizard costume looked stupid. 

[Sound of rustling as something is lifted up from the floor, then dropped abruptly back] 

J: There's a few kids shows going on here I think, I've seen kids around sometimes. I’m more involved in all the horror projects going on. Those ones actually needed the explosives he stole from wherever the hell he got them from. 

S: Yeah I'm… I'm definitely talking to Hetch about tighter security around those kinds of things. They should not have gone missing without anyone noticing, much less been missing long enough to actually be rigged up and used.

[Nonverbal input detected. Registered as: quiet long sigh]

S: And I really wish Hetch would just leave the kids shows to other writers, they really need to stick to what they're best at…

J: Heh, they had a guy crushed by rocks in front of the healer girl for a scene of the movie. I don’t think they knew what rating they were going for, or forgot it was meant to be for kids. Or forgot what show they were writing for, if there's no other writers here besides them. 

S: Of course they did. And admittedly I'm not sure if there's other writers at this facility, at the very least, none of them have been marked as missing according to my list.

J: Yeah, speaking of that, could I be given some sort of permission to be allowed to leave the mall and go places? Like I’ll come back obviously, because I have great fun doing all the stuff I do, but I’d like to be able to wander without the potential threat of security thinking I’m on the lam and gutting me. It’s not my idea of a fun time. 

[Time between spoken input: 4 seconds]

J: It also takes so long to heal and regain limbs from near misses. And only so many times I can bite and drink the same people's blood before it gets old. 

S: Hmm, well I can't promise anything, but I'll be sure to put in a good word. You certainly seem like the kind of person who wouldn't cause too many problems for Showfall if let out.

J: That’s all I can ask for honestly, if you can't authorize it yourself. It’s basically literally the place I was raised, it’s definitely my home. It’s given me a lot of cool things too, that I totally appreciate. 

S: There's not a lot of people who'd say that kind of thing, so it's definitely another point in your favor! But yeah, not the kind of thing I can really authorize, I'm only really here to help repair and round up any missing employees.

J: Well, if I do get allowed to go out, I could help find people if you havent been able to by that point. My sense of smell is better then normal. Not sure by how much though, never really had the chance to test that. 

S: We do need all the help we can get… Well I'll be sure to keep that in mind, but I'm afraid I can't stick around for much longer, much to be done around here, even if there were no organic victims.

J: Yeah, I won’t keep you. Nice to meet the person behind the mascot too, that’s really cool. Maybe I’ll see you later, but I’ll let you get back to your thing. Gotta get back to the recording station, good luck finding Marvin!

S: Thank you, ta-ta!

[ Sound of heavy footsteps retreating]

[ Sounds of brief pleased humming, then more things brushing along the ground as a more careful set of footsteps are heard, the heavier steps getting quieter the longer the shuffling and steps sound]

J: He’ll probably need the luck more, but fuck if it won't be more interesting then anything he tried to do. 

J: She was cool, awesome to know that the little guy wasn’t just an AI. Probably good I didn’t try, or ask, to bite her either. Especially after getting some assurance she’d do me a solid and ask. Even if it doesn't come too much until later.

J: Yeah, I’m not going to do a fucking running commentary. End Transcript. 

[Transcript has been ended. Thank you for using Showfall Media Text-To-Speech! Posting... ]

[paniwarhamauser]

I just realized I never finished posting Grot crusade write-ups here! Last was week 3! And that Crusade has ended back in May, and new one starts in a month😅

Guess I'll just dump weeks 4-10 here all at once.

And also end-of-crusade art for my guy 😁

Week 4

Me and ladz 'ere rollin' around lookin' for da good scrap. And dere it was. Da shiny fishboy Devilfish, dem curves glistenin' in da sun!

Nachurally we WAAAAGH'd!

Fishboyz are ded shooty, but you know wot? Stompa is ded STOMPY! 

Afta Bigtoof turned deir kommander into da kanned fishpaste dey 'ere done for!

Only one fishboy on da floaty fingie flew off. Looked so smug too. As if 'e was not running away, but akchually won. Weird...

Speakin' of winnin'. Zippy better deliver on 'is promise to build anuvva Gargant!

Da ladz collected enuff scrap today ta finish da job!

WIN FOR DA GROT WAAAAAGH!

Week 5

Gorksome is da beatiful little Gargant.

Zippy did da mighty gud job. Not dat I'd ever tell it to 'is face. Not givin 'im any ideas of bein betta at sum fings den da greatest Grotboss in 'istory!

And Gork was pleased by it too. We did not even had to look for da fight dis time! Bugboyz came to us!

Dis was a glorius day! Fighting everywhere! Gorksome got to shoot its first targetz! Even Zippy remembered 'e can fight too!

Too bad bugboyz 'ave nuffin' ta scrap. No matter, dey go SQUISH funny! Ladz larfed deir rumps off! And 'e got bugboyz snaks for dayz too!

WIN FOR DA GROT WAAAAGH!

Week 6

'E made it, ladz! Da 'umie Empra's shiny boyz (mega nobz beakies or whateva dese Kustardes are?) came ta fight us! And everywun knows dey fight only da most dangeros foez!

Of course I ALWAYZ knew I am da most dangeros! But 'tis nice ta be aknowleged.

And da best fing? Da stompa went BOOM. Dis was glorius! I almost kried of joy - ta witness da wrath of Gork and Mork wiff me own eyez!

'E even got enuff of goldy scrap ta fix stompa right up.

WIN FOR DA GROT WAAAAAGH!

Week 7

Da fightin' is da most fun, but 'e gotta make anuvva Gargant. And dis means 'e need more scrap.

Mork smiled upon us today. 'E 'eard 'BLOOD FOR DA BLOOD GOD' warcry, and I knew my ladz 'ere sent anuvva gud fight! 

Red and spikey beakies are ded fighty. And dey charge like da best of orkz too. Gotta respect dat! Also dey brought tanks! Wich mean dere was plenty of spikey scrap to collect afta da battle.

Da ladz even charged da spiky rhino and stole deir icon! Scrap and trophiez, da best life all around!

WIN FOR DA GROT WAAAGH!

Week 8

Would you look at dat! Stuntiez again! And dey have a new trukk too! Time to scrap it! WAAAAGH!

'Tis was fun! DAKKA-DAKKA-DAKKA! Dead stuntiez everywhere! 

And den weirdgurl and hammergurl 'ere at it again. Is Gork'n'Mork trying to tell me somefing by sendin' dem at me again? That I should I get a weirdboy and a hammer too? Interestin'...

Either way, a message from Gork and Mork is always a WIN FOR DA GROT WAAAGH!

Week 9

I was an idiot! Surprised at me sayin' dat? Da greatest grotboss is not afraid to admit mistakes!

I thought Devilfish were shiny! But Empra's goldie boyz showed me how wrong I was! Deir gravy-tank is proppa shiny! I 'ave never seen such a beauty in me life before!

Nachurally I called WAAAGH and sent ladz ta get me dat gravy-tank at all costs!

'Tis was a good fight. We krumped deir boss and deir nob too! Gargants are da best! Not as best as me, but close! Though I only cared for gravy-tank, if I'm honest. Nuffin else mattered.

Always keep da eyez on da prize, as dey say!

And wot a prize it is! Now I has da Goldy Throne of me own!

WIN FOR DA GROT WAAAGH!

Week 10

I was sittin' on Da Goldy Throne, surrounded by me trophies, pettin' me squig and thinkin' of changin' me title from Grot Boss to Grot Empra. No uvver boss has Da Goldy Throne, after all!

Me thinkin' was interrupted by watchlad screaming 'SCRAWNIES ON DA HORIZON'

Scrawnies are sure need to be krumped. Let me finish my shroom brew and den we WAAAGH!

W-wot is happenin'? Why I can no move? Wot is dis green glow? Did Gork and Mork came to see me and name me deir new profeet? Now dat's a REAL WIN FOR DA GROT WAAAAGH!

***

Trazyn closed the tessaract and chuckled to himself, - 'Don't you just love when a specimen arranges itself into a nice display, saving me the trouble!'

[askrobouteguilliman40k]

A handwritten note from Alpharius, or at least one of the Alpha legion taking up his name.

Sighs, adds it to the pile.

Minerva looks at the pile, pokes it.

Grot climbs out of the pile. "All the same hand writing boss, far as I can tell.... Can't read those squig scratches ya call writing, use glyths, everyone understands them."

Guilliman looks at Grot. "You speak gothic?"

Grot panics and screeches, running off.

[silvercaptain24]

🐻 - When I think about your writing and how freakin talented you are

🐹 - When I remember that you’re my friend and actually so so nice and approachable and sweet

*head in hands*

Squigs I should not be able to hit both ends of this scale.