#squids are poisonous too right

[a-hazbin-reader]

To move away from all the angst I’d like to request a VERY fluffy request please!

I don’t know if Y/N has given birth to their third child yet but if they haven’t what about like having really weird cravings late at night and waking Alastor up so he can make us what we crave

As we should

Alastor X Reader Headcanons

✅️Romantic

❌️Platonic

TW: None, I think???

Description: ☝️⬆️

Your pregnancy cravings never failed to surprise Alastor with your first pregnancy but the second time around knocked him off his feet

The first pregnancy had you asking for some pretty strange but not totally disgusting combinations

Alastor was pretty sure he saw you trying to take a bite out of one of his tentacles once

Even then, he didn't think it was all that crazy that your body craved that

But this time? Alastor is worried that his unborn spawn is trying to kill you via poisoning

He just doesn't understand what he got himself into this time around because your cravings are HORRIFIC

You asked for things that made him want to gag but he never let it show, not wanting to upset you

Sure, he'll joke about it, but he doesn't want you thinking that you're disgusting because you have a craving that you can't help

Your hormones were an entirely different beast to tangle with, one pregnancy problem at a time

Alastor hadn't really had a need for sleep before but that's changed ever since his family started growing

Now he's waking up nearly every night out of a dead sleep to you, shaking his shoulder and asking him for some monstrosity to eat

You're whispering something to him but he's too tired to understand what you're saying

"Alastor... Darling... Wake up, I'm really hungry..."

Your persistent shaking of his shoulder begins to rouse him and he turns his head towards you, eyes still shut

"Hn... Hm..?"

He can hear the whine in your voice, some dreamy part of his brain thinking that you sound cute like this

"I really want to eat fried squid and strawberry ice cream...please..?"

The overwhelming disgust he feels at your request makes him wide awake, sitting up to give you a baffled look

"Why would you-HOW-Where would I even get that at this hour!?"

You blink and stare at him like it's obvious, then you put on a faux pout and rub his arm slowly, scooting closer to him

"Get it? No, I want you to make it for me...please..? You always make the best food..."

Stroking his ego always works for you, the poor man knowing his been got as he signs and gets out of bed, you waddling after him happily

He dutifully makes everything for you from scratch, your happy cooing behind him making it feel a little less ridiculous for him to be up and cooking at this hour

Alastor genuinely can't watch you eat it, having to look away to keep his gagging under control, even if you look like you're in heaven right now

When you ask for pickled peppers to dip into the rest of it is when he has to leave the room, what you're doing to food is monstrous

And he's a cannibal

Once he gets a grip on his stomach, he comes back to find you no longer alone in the kitchen, now feeding his darling twins some of your food

They make disgusted faces at the combination and instead try to take your ice cream, something that makes you laugh

"I suppose it is pretty gross, huh? Your poor papa can't even begin to wrap his head around these cravings~"

You smile and feed each of the twins a bite of ice cream before noticing Alastor, blushing at the fact that you got caught

"I walk away for five minutes and you're poisoning my children?"

You gasp and hug the twins close to your body, making a shocked face as you pretend to be flabbergasted

"Poison? MY babies just wanted a little treat before they went back to bed..!"

The way his twins turn to stare at him with wide innocent eyes as they cling to you makes his heart melt at the sight

"Is that so? Well, they've had their treat, and now it is time for little fawns to go back to bed~"

At first they put up a fight, whining and climbing you until you threaten to give them another bite of your midnight snack, pushing a bite in their faces

Suddenly, running into papa's arms and going back to sleep doesn't seem as bad to them now

Together, you two manage to get your children back to bed before laying down in your own bed, cuddling close to each other

Alastor is rubbing your baby bump and nuzzling the back of your neck, soothing you back to sleep

You're practically purring from all the attention, stomach full, muscles relaxed, and your husband wrapped around you

"Mn...thank you for the food, darling..."

He can't help but chuckle as you put your hand over his own, your cravings finally subsiding and allowing you to sleep

"I'm not sure that concoction qualified as food, but you're welcome, nonetheless, my dear~"

You elbow him playfully as he kisses your neck, less than amused by his jabs at your pregnancy cravings, you couldn't help it

"Maybe you should sleep on the couch."

"So sorry, darling~"

He doesn't even try to sound a little sorry, instead pulling you closer as you two fall asleep together, blissful

The next night, when you ask for something even worse than before, Alastor gets up and is ready to do it all over again

He thinks your cravings are horrific and probably doing damage to his sanity but he'll do anything for his wife

Especially when it's somewhat his fault you even want to eat these things

Even if it means making food combinations so terrible that if he died, he would go to double hell for it

This one took so long I'm so SORRY

[enqmind]

Fic!

This is what happens when you've recently read baby trapping fics and then have a conversation about what foods you can't eat around taking certain medications.

Soap/Female Reader WC: 1.4k 18+ content.

Warnings: Baby trapping, manipulation, tampering with contraceptives, tampering with food, technically poisoning, misuse of a dietary supplement. Noncon, despite containing no actual sex (because baby trapping).

Reader notes: Implied to dislike marmite, probably isn't Scottish, dislikes masks (not a covid denier. they just make her uncomfortable).

Gothmet

 Johnny has been cooking a lot lately.

 “Trying to take after your compatriot?”

 He’d laughed at that.

 “I think you’ll find I don’t hit my Boiling Point quite so fast, love.”

 You suspected he’d last five minutes in food service, since you’re not actually allowed to explode the sous chef.

 But as a home cook? Oh, he was passable.

 His latest creation was squid ink ravioli filled with an avant garde bacon and nigella seed concoction.

 It was interesting, but good was a different question.

 “Do you like it?” He asked, puppy dog enthusiasm radiating off of him in waves.

 “… I don’t know,” you confessed. “It’s certainly interesting, but I’m not sure one way or the other.”

 You half expected his face to fall, but instead he looked thoughtful as he took a considered bite.

 “Aye, I see what you mean. This’ll take some workshopping. You willing to be my taste tester?” 

 You grinned at him over your wine.

 “It would be my pleasure.”

 “And that is my top priority, after all.”

 He didn’t seem discouraged by the half hearted kick under the table, especially if his enthusiasm for ‘dessert’ was considered.

 His new culinary interest expanded to baking.

 The next day he presented you with a zebra cake with the highest contrast you’d ever seen. The chocolate stripes were almost jet black.

 “I got some o’  that ultra Dutch processed cocoa to try making my own oreos. Ordered one of them special biscuit cutters too, but it hasn’t arrived yet. So I decided to make a very accurate zebra cake.”

 “You ordered one for bourbons too, right?”

 “What do you take me for, hen? Some kind of godless heathen?”

 You raised your hands placatingly.

 “Just making sure, Johnno. Gotta check to see if you’ve been replaced by a sexy doppelganger every now and then.”

 He squinted at you.

 “Yeah, well. You’ll get your bourbons. With bourbon cream, mind.”

 “Always trying to ply me with something, aren’t you?”

 He looked scandalised when you laughed.

 Within the week he had those biscuits ready for you. True to his word the bourbons had bourbon cream and the orefauxs (as he called them) had Baileys cream. Both were as black as the devil’s bottom.

 “I might need a new wardrobe soon if you keep this up,” you joked between mouthfuls.

 “Ah, I’ll just help you work it off. Or just buy you a new one.”

 The look you gave him might not have been as withering as you’d hoped, but he seemed to get the message.

 “I’ll try to bake you something healthier next time.”

 Something healthier meant a coal black loaf of bread.

 “It’s a black bread,” he said cheerily, “it’s got rye in it. Thought might as well go the whole hog and added some activated charcoal to make it as black as you like your coffee.”

 It was with a heavy sigh that you turned your eyes to him.

 “I can’t eat this.”

 His face did fall this time.

 “Oh. You allergic to rye? Or are you afraid I’ve slipped some marmite in?”

 “My marmite take is neither here nor there. The problem is that I’m on the pill and activated charcoal can make it not work.”

 “Oh, shit.”

 He looked so crestfallen that you felt even worse.

 “Sorry.”

 “No, no. It’s my fault. Shoulda considered that.”

 You tore off a chunk and slathered it with butter, just to see him light up a little.

 “Well, I guess half a loaf over a couple days can’t hurt too much.”

 His grin was blinding.

 “Ah, but what am I gonna do with all this spare activated charcoal? I cannae eat it all meself.”

 You gave him a grin of your own.

 “Could live up to your callsign and use it to make soap. Good for the skin and all that.”

 “Ah,” he said sagely. “So that’s why they kept showing me that melt and pour stuff. I was starting to think I’d have to assassinate Bezos for knowing too much. How’d he even find out?”

 You chuckle as you eat your chunk of bread.

 “It’s really good,” you mumbled, delight rendering you mannerless.

 Johnny puffed up with pride.

 “I’ll try a different colourant next time. Still got that squid ink, after all.”

 “How is recipe development, by the way?”

 “Can’t complain. I’ll have another plate for you in a couple o’ days.”

 “I look forward to it!”

 In the meantime you were working your way through the biscuits, cake and that half a loaf.

 The second round of ravioli was divine. Exactly what was different was a question, but if Johnny was going to continue to be a magician in the kitchen then he was allowed a few secrets.

 He joked that this was the way to your heart, and he wasn’t far wrong. There was something about a handsome and rugged man cooking for you that was so very seductive. So less ‘way to your heart’ and ‘way into your knickers’.

 His culinary adventures continued with a squid ink version of the bread (still delicious, barely tasted different) and so much chocolatey goodness.

 Despite previously thinking such things impossible, you liked chocolate as much as the next woman, it was getting more than a bit much.

 “Don’t worry. I’ll take a break on the old chocolate,” he reassured you over some jjajangmyeon. “I’ve got a few more ideas up my sleeve.”

 He bought you a pie.

 It was rectangular, but certainly a pie.

 “I thought you said you made buns?”

 “I did hen, a bun at least. This is a black bun, it’s traditional around Hogmanay.”

 When he cut it open you could see why it was called that.

 The filling was dark as a moonless night and chock full of dried fruit.

 Granted, you were a bit leery, but you gave it a shot and were pleasantly surprised.

 “This is good. Remind me to come ‘round yours for New Year’s.”

 “It’ll be an invitation, not a reminder, lass.”

 You grinned, even with currents stuck in your teeth.

 The next thing he bought you was fudge.

 You were more dubious about this one than the pie.

 “Why is it black?”

 “It’s liquorice flavoured. Me mam asked me to make some, thought I’d let you try it too.”

 Maybe you could deal with the dried fruit, but the liquorice was a bit much. All sorts were one thing, but this flavour and this texture? It was weird and gritty and didn’t go. No thank you.

 “Well, you win some you lose some,” he grinned, “they can’t all be winners.”

 The liquorice might not have been, but the black sesame seed mochi certainly was.

 “It’s good in a porridge too, they use rice starch to thicken it.”

 You raised an eyebrow at him.

 “Porridge without oats? Do your countrymen know you’re speaking such blasphemy?”

 “Aye, aye. Fair point. You keep this schtumm and I'll work on some fusion cuisine so they don’t burn me in Parliament square.”

 It took a few days, but the proper black sesame seed porridge was welcome. You’d been feeling a little under the weather lately.

 “So what do we call this? Scorean? Kortish?”

 “Please stop.”

 “You’re no fun.”

 Johnny pouted.

 “Oh right. Before I forget; what happened to that soap making? Or am I just not getting any?” It was your turn to pout.

 “Ah, I decided to go cold process. So it’ll be ready when I get back from deployment.”

 You nodded.

 “Do you want me to bring some down when I come pick you up so we can throw it at Simon? ‘Cause he’s gonna need it with that fucking mask he’s always wearing.”

 Johnny’s eyebrow’s rose.

 “I still don’t get why you hate it so much.”

 “I swear he’s making faces at me under that thing.”

 “Really?” He asked dubiously.

 “I just don’t like it. He gives me a weird vibe.”

 Johnny looked affronted.

 “Hey-“

 “Because of the mask. Hated it during the pandemic, too. I’d last three minutes in Japan in the winter.”

 “I’ll take you in the summer then,” he smiled softly, placated.

 You rolled your eyes affectionately.

 “I’ll hold you to that.”

 As ever, it was with a heavy heart that you saw him off the next day.

 He did leave you with some treats to tide you over. Another black bun, some biscuits (chocolate was back on the menu) and a box of lovely dark parkin. Altogether, it should last most of the time he was away.

 It didn’t.

 You stress ate most of it when you found out you were pregnant.

[fandom-sheep]

Technoblade 30 JUN 24

Technoblade VS 100 Minecraft YouTubers Part 1/1

I had to look up my format for this it has been so long since I’ve had a video or stream to delayed live blog for

I texted my brother and it’s felt like old times when Techno would upload

Oh it’s starting.

Aww Tommy. Thank you Tommy!

Aww he used Technoblade style of intro

Oh hi technodad.

Oh no this is going to be an hour?! I have school work to do but oh well. Not as important.

Techno chilling while everyone panics that’s about normal

Cannibalism let’s go!!!

A lone pig

Technodad’s “meanwhile” 😂 I love this

Bye squid kid

Oh meanwhile is going to be such a good bit. Go technodad.

Technodad’s commentary is the best. “Found something much more annoying”

Oh look a tornado.

No Phil!!!! Philza!!!

Oh I forgot Schlatt was god.

24 straight minutes. Go Tommy editing that.

Techno stuck with his diaphragm spasming

Mans already dead and they’re showing his hiccups. 😂

Oh hi god.

Speedy pig

Reaches the surface and wonders what the heck happened.

Just run from the poison

“You can’t trade with god” “what if the next natural disaster is me”

Going crazy cause he has stuff to do what a legend

god making him go zoom zoom. I especially like “don’t get too excited it’s the same thing”

Oh there’s a storm coming towards me. Yuck.

Ah cool shield mode.

Hooray! Philza!

Ah and god is back

Everything shook. Man if god doesn’t know everything is bad

Man Schlatt said the best disaster is Techno.

Everybody else hanging out on the lava pillar

Hi again god. Techno is outfitted for war.

Technoblade has been promoted to minor god.

Flying Technoblade!!! Technoplane!!!!!

A techno on the horizon sniping people with gas.

Splish splash to the village(?)

Button? Sheep?

End it all button?

I love that Techno was happy to press the button since he has an appointment

Oops. The spam kinda over killed it.

Lag? Really that’s the issue right now?

“Stop spamming meteors!” What did Tommy expect to happen? He gave it to Techno.

How are people alive in that pile of fire?

You did bad when god asks you why.

Whoop. He broke the server. Happens sometimes.

Yeah sometimes you just need to vote techno the winner.

That was a good video. I’m glad I took the study break to watch it. And it wasn’t an hour long!

Now I kinda want to rewatch the potato war while I do my work. Oh Tommy uploaded a video to his channel too about Techno. Something else to watch…. Oh it’s just hitting that it’s the anniversary.

Remember y’all Technoblade never dies

[ghaniblue]

Mixed bag of HP recs

I'm trying to get back into the reccing game. These are fics I enjoyed recently. 12 stories: some old, some new, some Drarry, some Marauders era, some other rare pairs.

Animalia by gyzym (James/Sirius, T, 7k)

Everyone assumed that Sirius and James got on so well because they were exactly alike and they were all wrong; everyone assumed Sirius and James got on so well because they were both crazy and that was true.

riding a freight train's solitary wail by orphan_account (Sirius, James, Regulus, minor wolfstar, T, 4k)

"And if he doesn't come back?" James asks. "You hurt him, you know."

"He hurt me," Sirius contends. "I've been living on the streets of fuckin', fuckin', fucken', Ealing. Ealing's a shithole, Jamie. I got mugged. He took my fags and knocked my teeth out."

"Shut up," James says, and seems to mean it.

Winner Takes All by the_invisibility_bloke (Regulus/Sirius, E, 9k)

You call that a kiss?"

It’s all fun and games until it’s fun and games and groping.

as a friend, as an old enemy by swoons (Regulus/Tom, Regulus/Sirius, M, 1k)

Tom Riddle is persuasive and handsome, his beauty its own form of coercion. I never stood a chance.

That the Science of Cartography is Limited by Rave (Wolfstar, M, 7k)

The whole thing is silly and illogical. There has to be a rhythm. There has to be a sense. Because there are things that make sense about living, and you can’t come to a logical conclusion from an illogical premise, it doesn’t work like that.

sweet poison by damagecontrol (Jegulus, E, 76k)

By the third week of school, Regulus’ crush is out of control. He’s always been a top student. Not to mention, law is his thing. He excels at it, but he can’t focus in class. Not when his professor looks this good in his suit, fabric hugging all the right places. Not when he runs his fingers through already messy hair and makes it messier. Tanned skin and broad shoulders, a brilliant smile paired with infallible kindness. Regulus has never wanted anyone more. - Or, Regulus offers to take care of a houseplant and ends up sleeping with his professor. Oops?

The Soul of That Place: One Story, Two POVs by Thevina (Millicent/Ron, T, 11,6k)

Mid-blackout, Millicent finds herself taken to a holistic rehab centre called The Safehold. Finding Ron Weasley already there as a resident causes a reshuffle in Millicent's concept of reality. A story of starting over, again and again, and a love letter to my own tribe from my real life Safehold.

Lonely Creatures by apricitydays (Snape/Giant Squid, E, 6k)

Life as a double-agent Potions Master who lost the love of his life and generally hates people is pretty shitty. Severus has a chance meeting one night at the bottom of the lake that changes his life forever.

Beyond Fifth Street by storyofeden (Lighting era Gryffindors, Draco, background ships, E, 4k)

There was a little Muggle café on one corner of Fifth Street. Every evening, their friends go through the small, magical door at the back.

The Way You Say My Name by InnerLilith (Drarry, E, 5k)

In which Malfoy calls Harry pet names to get him flustered and riled up, and Harry gets flustered and riled up because he secretly likes it. The problem is that Malfoy is only teasing…or is he?

I've Got a Beautiful Feeling (Everything's Going My Way) by toomuchplor (Drarry, E, 3,6k)

“I’ve got such a boner,” Harry says, voice scratchy, just slitting his eyes open now, turning his head on his pillow to face Draco. “Oh, lovely, good morning to you, too,” Draco says. This is absolutely unapologetic explicit filth but it's also absolutely unapologetic as a representation of been-married-a-while sex. That's got to be somebody's specific kink, right? If that's you, enjoy.

The Roommates by citrusses (Drarry, Sirius/Draco, E, 3,6k)

Harry would later wonder if, that first time it happened, he hadn’t been meant to find out all along.

[dailycharacteroption]

Kraken Slayer (Paladin Archetype)

(art by Fran-Hdez on DeviantArt)

I can’t remember how many times I’ve said it, but I don’t get how D&D and Pathfinder did krakens as a concept.

Giant predatory squid that attacks ships? Check.

It’s also a fully intelligent creature and is almost always a tyrant monster that enslaves and rules over smaller aquatic beings, conjures storms to bring trouble to surface mortals, and so on…. Ok? Why??

Intellectually, I understand, D&D needed a giant monstrous threat underwater which could be like a dragon in not just power level but scheming, but they had already made the classic chromatic dragons all terrestrial, leaving only the bronze dragon, a metallic dragon, as the only one of the core 10 that live in the ocean. (Also, they probably were at least a little influenced by Cthulhu, but were not keen to make a tentacled monstrous overlord too close to it while Chaosium’s Call of Cthulhu RPG had the rights to use those monsters directly.)

But the fact that kraken are such powerful and typically evil aquatic monsters alongside the alghollthu means that to the aquatic peoples living below the waves, they fill much the same role in their folklore, as great evils that heroes must arise to slay on occasion.

Enter the kraken slayer, a form of paladin seen among aquatic cultures that seeks to protect others from the depredations of the evil that lurks in the depths, be they krakens, alghollthu, cults of monstrous underwater gods, and so on.

The tradition originated among the tritons, those goodly aquatic folk that originated from the Plane of Water, which does have it’s own kraken problems on occasion. However, it has since spread to other goodly peoples beneath the waves, (and in theory, above the waves as well, assuming that such heroes have a method of consistently surviving and moving freely underwater.)

As is fitting of their focus, these divine warriors alter their smite slightly so that it is aquatic and water-based evils that particularly suffer when they unleash their divine wrath upon them.

They also gain immunity to poison in addition to disease, useful given how many toxic foes there are beneath the waves.

Their divine bonds also vary, with those that bond with their weapons eschewing elemental damage to instead improve their weapon’s performance in water. Meanwhile, those that choose a mount must bond with a creature suitable for the waves, big enough to cling to while it swims, though they thankfully do not limit you on this as long as it makes sense.

Krakens, like their mundane cephalopod kin and many other creatures, use grappling and constriction as weapons, and so their aura blesses them and those nearby with the ability to slip free of grapples with surprising ease.

With no ability to magically grant freedom of movement, this archetype is pretty much exclusive to the aquatic playable ancestries unless you’re willing to invest a lot in magical solutions. That being said, it’s a pretty good way to alter the abilities of a paladin to better serve being underwater. Definitely consider it if you’re playing both an aquatic ancestry and a paladin, and if the campaign takes place at least a considerable bit underwater.

The lore for the archetype states that these warriors must balance hunting the monsters of the deep with protecting their people from them, but I find that’s primarily what the paladin experience is like: remembering that you are a defender of the people first, and not abandon them to chase down the wicked out of bloodlust and zealotry.

The southern part of Malgalos Rainforest opens up into a river delta where the massive mangrove trees rise out of the silt, and the waters run deep indeed in places. Long have the vanara of that region held alliance with the tritons of the deeper water, and a few have even learned a few arts from them, using magic to join them as defenders of the continental shelf, fighting off creatures from darker waters.

Though he dislikes the facility on principal, the kraken slayer Shophis has agreed to attend the grand opening of Balkas the Inscruitable’s underwater palace, which comes complete with a menagerie with simulated environments where monsters from around the world are kept, such as bloodbrush from the Sanaan Desert, and so on. However, Balkas’ underwater jewel has raise the interest of several underwater powers that seek to either destroy it, or worse, claim it for their own.

For generations, the kraken slayer order of the merfolk city of Angilas has only been so in name only, being no krakens sighted in the region for nearly two centuries. However, just because they are not seen does not mean they are not present, and the recent arrival of a group of adventurers may force the hand of the clandestine cephalopod that has been manipulating their society from the shadows.

[rainbowroadonsteroids]

I have something of an idea of what the final Splatfest could be, and it's a central theme within Splatoon 3: the Anarchy Poisons.

The Anarchy Poisons are somewhat central within Splatoon 3, with the idols individual Splatfest themes referencing this. (Bird Mix, Snake Mix, and Boar Mix, respectively.)

The final Splatfest theme could end up being a "pick your poison" type of deal, where your choice will end up leading into the next game, whether drastic or not I'm unsure.

How this works is that the poisons are based off of the three poisons/unwanted roots of Buddhism, to which the rooster, snake, and pig (/bird, snake, and boar) are central symbols. And they represent three mental states: greed, hate, and delusion. Given there's already a theme of one idol going AWOL in the following game (the one who lost the previous game), this could lead into something interesting with the fourth installment.

I don't think it would be what we think though. Given this time it's be two losers and one winner, it may be something where the winner of the final fest becomes a bit too consumed by their own poison, so the two losing idols have to divise a plan to get through to their friend.

Though, then again knowing Nintendo they could pull something out of a hat, but I mainly say that it'll have to do with the three poisons because of context clues.

Previous final fests have had something to do with a hidden or implied theme within the game. With Splatoon, which Squid Sister did the population prefer? Who was more popular? Granted in Splatoon, it was the first game, and so they probably just picked the easiest of themes, but I feel like within the game there was always that question of who was more popular.

Splatoon 2, we understood the theme better as the game went on, and with the added addition of Octo Expansion. Pearl is a rich girl who's chaotic in nature, and seems to love the idea of new heights, new things happening. Marina, not so much. Because she's scared to lose someone she's so close to. Pearl if I'm not mistaken was the first person Marina met after she left her life within the Octarian army, so she likely feared the idea of things changing as a result. Thus, she wanted order to maintain her life as she grew to know it.

Now, back to the potential Splatoon 3 final fest. I'll say this too, it wouldn't be something like "Greed v Hatred v Delusion", the final fest would probably be something more like "Bird v Snake v Boar", which also represent the cultures they represent as idols. (Shiver being Eastern Asian/Japanese culture, Frye being Indian/Middle Eastern culture, and Big Man being Brazilian culture.) So, in all truth, it could be one theme shrouded as another, where in the next installment, the one or more of the idol poisons take over

Again, this is just speculation/theory, but I get the idea Nintendo may be sneaky with this final fest. And why not be sneaky with the theme right under people's noses?

[akatsukirites]

Second entry for @sweetspicybingo - Fairy Lights Narutoverse | KisaKonan | G | ~800 words

They avoid the road that goes through Fire Country. Konoha-nin patrols are too aggressive. Even though Kisame brushes this off as an insignificant obstacle ("I can handle Konoha, Konan-san." He says, reflexively shouldering Samehada.), Konan knows a premature encounter would be unwise. ("Pein doesn't want to reveal our existence yet.") Instead, they take the long way– through Grass, Waterfall, and Rice Country, crossing the border into Hot Water Country. Konan recalls old Akatsuki scouting reports that Hot Water military is only concerned with tourists, so they stick to the coastline. Admittedly, it's a longer journey. They sleep in shifts during the afternoons and travel under a waning moon cycle. The coastline turns to sandy beaches, flanked to the south by forest.

In the pre-dawn hours, they crest a hillside. And the strangest vision reveals itself to them; a sea with glowing, blue waves. Konan slows to a halt. Kisame, following, anticipates a command. She is, after all, higher ranking. The ocean roars to his left, covering up the muffled words that Konan says under her breath. All he catches is 'of the sea'.

"What's that?" He asks, looking beyond her to notice the blue phenomena himself.

Konan turns back to him, mouth hidden underneath her high collar. She doesn't wear a hitai-ate.

"Ghost lights of the sea." She repeats. "It's a children's story– a warning about following ghost lights into the water. They say the lights are the souls of drowned fishermen."

Kisame huffs. He could slay a village full of fishermen with his eyes closed. Nothing to worry about there. But Konan's reaction is different. She turns back to the sea, taking a halting step forward; debating whether or not she has time to investigate the curiosity. The look of awe in her eyes is unmistakable, almost child-like. Kisame has been mission-focused his entire life. Sight-seeing is a luxury he's never been awarded. That was in Kiri. Now it's supposed to be different. He trots ahead of Konan, leading them to the beach. Permission is something neither of them are used to giving themselves; but the sight is too enchanting to ignore.

Glittering waves lap at the shoreline; water teeming with scrambling, blue lights. Konan steps lightly, not used to feeling sand beneath her feet. Kisame does so also, but on instinct of training drilled into him until his skull broke. He bends down and scoops up a light; feeling the soft flesh of a squid. It's tiny. Five of them could easily fit in his palm. Konan looks on with caution, thinking of poison and traps and–("don't follow them into the sea").  But Kisame seems unaffected, so she mimics him and scoops one into her hand. The animal is dotted with little blue lights, chaotically blinking at her. A cry for help?

"It must be their spawning season." Kisame guesses, before popping it in his mouth.

Konan's eyes widen in surprise. Eating a ghost-light will surely curse you, right? But the look on his face says otherwise; the opposite in fact. She looks down at her own specimen, wriggling. It slips between her fingers and swims off into the sea, meeting thousands of others. 

"You know these creatures?" Konan asks, wary.

He shrugs, mouth still occupied with the morsel. "No, but I had a good guess. They're smaller than the ones in Water Country, but they look the same." Swallows. "Tastes better though."

Konan wouldn't know. Rain Country doesn't have squid. But strangely, she trusts Kisame's intuition and appetite. So she gathers a few handfuls of them, sparkling blue in her hands. To eat such a beautiful thing seems a terrible waste. 

As if sensing her hesitation, Kisame enlightens her. "They'll probably die soon anyways."

His words do little to alleviate some harbored guilt within her.

They set up a resting spot at the tree-line, listening to the ocean carry the ghost-light squids to shore. They're too small to spear and roast; and they don't have a konro; so Kisame boils them instead. The sun pierces the horizon. It's as good as any time for breakfast. Konan waits and fishes the squid out of the pot after Kisame takes his share. She eats it whole, examining the textures between her teeth. Kisame watches her, curious to see how she finds the delicacy. It's sweet and rich; briny but not overly so. Like a fat shrimp. If he looked hard enough, he'd see her blushing. For something about to die, it certainly doesn't taste like it.

When they're done, Konan puts out the fire and hides any evidence that they were there. A habit from her younger days with Yahiko and Nagato. The beach turns into rocky coastline, disappearing behind them entirely as they approach the border. Today they make for their allies in Frost Country to resupply. If they're lucky, they'll also get clues for their mission. Konan returns to the memory of the luminescent beach, wishing she could tell Yahiko. She'll have to settle for Tendo Pein instead.

[kimberlyannharts]

Cosmic Fury upsets me not because it was bad but because it ended on like, a 5/10 season that had characters I liked but would occasionally have them say like, Marvel 1 Liners and character assassinate Billy right at the end by having him learn NOTHING from his past experiences.

I didnt mind the scene where hes like “if you wait, you’ll have more allies. But if you go now, I cant help you.” I actually kinda liked it because it was just him being honest about his responsibilities as a senior ranger.

But as a way for the main 30 year run of PR to END?

Its sooo underwhelming. And it comes with every flaw the show has had since Samurai. All while I have to put up with Simon Bennett’s Headass posts? Its just disappointing.

I LOVED Izzy, Fern, and Javi’s stories this time but at what cost? Ollie became evil because of Magic Poison that only works on him? They killed off Zayto a second time? One of the things that lead to his death was a Truly Bizarre (well meaning, but just damn weird) trans allegory.

Idk, I just kinda wish we could have gone out on something as good as a Dino Thunder or a Time Force.

When the first reviews for Cosmic Fury came in, the more neutral opinions basically said that if you liked Dino Fury, you'll like this, because it was really just.....a third season of Dino Fury. And they were right! It was a continuation of Dino Fury, for better or for worse. And in a way it's unfair to shoulder it with the expectations of being the final season of this continuity, but that's just how it is. You can tell certain elements of past seasons were added in to give it more of a big overall final season feel, but we know from Once and Always that this team struggles to work with the past elements meaningfully beyond "look! we read RangerWiki too!" because they want their original concepts to take precedence (was anyone else shocked about the twist of the squid CEOs being the bigger villains over Zedd for five seconds before being like yeah.....wait.....that tracks for these writers actually). It's something I'll talk about more in my video ramble, but that's a very quick taste of what I think Dino/Cosmic Fury's fatal flaw is.

As for the trans allegory thing......it was very sweet, I won't bring it down when it was obviously well-intentioned, but......at the very least, couldn't we refer to Mucus with they/them pronouns?

[dark-frosted-heart]

Things from Clavis’ Bond stories

“Lovers should be lovey-dovey and making out 24/7 right? Now, come here.”

Bond Story #3: Skills

Chevalier’s interpreter. He’d like to pick up some other special skills though. Maybe be able to make Emma laugh no matter how sad she’s feeling.

Bond Story #5: Puzzling memo

He can’t read his own handwriting and asks Emma for help. Turns out, it’s a note to remind himself to put an erotic book he had bought in Chevalier’s room.

Bond Story #6: Having fun at the bar

Clavis likes to mess with drunk people. But he’ll take care of Emma. If she doesn’t drink or can’t drink too much, he doesn’t care since he can’t drink either.

Bond Story #7: The most annoying guy in court

 He asks Emma what he should use for his next since he cant decide: squid ink, lots of gold dust, or a dust explosion of wheat flour.

- What are you talking about?: Next trap for Chevalier. - I don’t understand what’s going on, but all of them: He comes up with a way to combine the three. - Dust explosion?: If you set fire to flour particles, it can create a big explosion and blow a person up.

Emma tells him not to, but he’s in need of fun. Emma can take Cheva’s place though as the subject of entertainment. The castle’s peace is in her hands now.

Bond Story #9: A game with you

Jenga with a tower of books Clavis set up. The loser gets a punishment. Oh and yes, they are Chevalier’s books.

Emma will decline to play once she learns who the books belong to. Her punishment’s to list 1000 things she loves about Clavis. Emma says it’s impossible so instead, she has to kiss him. But since it’s supposed to be a punishment, he won’t let her leave until he’s satisfied.

Bond Story #10: Dining together

We’ve got a spread of colorful, questionable food you can find town.

- If Emma’s about to dig in, he stops her to test it for poison first.

The food’s edible but they taste leaves an impression. A kind that hopefully will make Emma remember this moment forever. 

Bond Story #11: Jealousy

Clavis saw Emma chatting with some other guys. So he’s going to mark her in a place people can see it, and spend the night reminding her who she belongs to.

[shadowmonkstone]

Still on the high from being able to help Karlach, we headed back to the abandoned village where the Goblins were sniffing around.

There were a group of three big, fuck-off ogres having a chat about meat and eating meat, and what meat tastes best. Lae’zel wanted to introduce the three fuck-off ogres to the stabby parts of her magic, fuck-off sword but instead we had a chat with the smartest of the group. Sensibly we all came to an accord that amounted to ‘you don’t try and eat me, and I’ll keep this ravenous Githyanki from lopping your bloody heads off, capice?’.

A deal that works for all parties.

Anyway, we found our way to a well that was hollow so naturally, instead of looking for a bloody cure, we all climbed down the rope. Turned out to be a fucking spider’s nest, which was more disgusting than the goblins, if you can believe that. Had to fight off a load of them too, all poison and teleporting likes there was no tomorrow. Lae’zel and Wyll were in their element, charging into the fray and Karlach showed again why she was really fucking good at killing.

After the buggers were dead we hunted around the place and found some old books and what looked like a lab. A fucked up High Elf wanker was praising Lloth and talking about turning themselves into a spider matriarch by merging flesh by…ugh…nah…not going to go into the detail of that but by all accounts the dickhead was successful. We didn’t hang around to find out, fighting the smaller spiders had taken a decent chunk out of us and it made sense to get our arses out of there and back up to the surface.

Pretty ironic really. We’re going to die by becoming a psychotic, telepathic squid-people but still want to preserve our lives from twisted High Elf spider monsters.

I’ve stopped caring really, just going with the flow.

The same flow that saw us kill a group of gnolls on the way back to camp. Their leader had a crazy (literally, don’t fucking ask) magic flail that I’m going to feed to Gale and see what happens.

Long story short, we killed them and found a lockbox that I think is the one mentioned on another note we found.

Either way, I’m going to have to work hard to keep Astarion’s thieving mitts off lockpicking the bloody thing open until we find it’s rightful owner.

Or we all turn into psychotic, telepathic squid-people.

Fuck me backwards I need a rest.

[carnivart-core]

Magnionette - the Puppeteer Pokemon ⟦DARK⟧

‣ This Pokemon is capable of releasing a faint smelling liquid that relaxes anything that comes into contact with it until they are no longer able to move. It's this ability they use to subdue their prey

‣ Magnionette is rather childish, and known to love playing with it's food. Whenever it catches it's prey, it usually can't help wrapping itself around the limbs of it to maneuver it like a puppet. It usually gets so caught up in it's play, that it's victims actually wake up enough to escape without harm.

(more thoughts under read more)

To everyone who liked this thing when I kept posting WIPs -- hope y'all still like it with color!! This one was hard to decide colors for, and I only was able to make it pop more w a non-crowded pattern due to luck . This is... Barely close to any official PkMn art, but this is . Baby's First Fakemon Drawing -- or... well, second, but the first was me tracing an eagle and putting gems on it when I was a wee younger teenager so ,, yeah this is Baby's First REAL Fakemon . I wanted to make this a dual type but I wasn't sure what it's secondary typing Would be. PkMn like Umbreon and Meowscarada can subdue prey or vanquish predator with poisons without being poison type, so I'm not rlly backed into that corner. Maybe it could live in the sea? Though I can see it levitating too ala Carnivine or smth It's abilities would prob be smth with a chance to cause paralysis when hit wih a physical move . And like ... IDK . Levitate? That seems fair right It's name is from Magnapinna , the genus Bigfin squid belong to - and Marionette! Which is.. Self explanatory right

... I could see it having a dumbo-octopus-adjacent pre-evo too , maybe . Since lines like Shroodle prove you don't need to keep evolutions in the same species of animal at All , but I burnt my brain just designing this beast

[squidhominid]

So I've been thinking about capitalism

So, as some people know, before I became the queer anarchist squid lady that you all know and love, I was, um. A teenage libertarian.

That's. Not great! But in combination with my disabilities it gives me some interesting perspective about the interplay between capitalist systems and disability, that I kind of feel like are worth talking about.

See you under the cut for a discussion about techbro nonsense and how it can be seductive in the right context to disabled people.

Now, as I've said before, libertarianism is sort of like, a funhouse mirror version of socialism. Libertarians believe in equality and in the need for social progress, they just, wrongly, believe that capitalism should be the vehicle to get there, and that the obstacle to getting there is government over-regulation.

The thing that's interesting, and that I think is worth talking about, is how this interplayed with the fact that I'm disabled, and how I viewed disability accommodation.

As some know, I'm unable to drive. My vision is too poor, my attention span is too poor, and, honestly I have serious doubts about my motor skills being up to par either. Nowadays if you asked me I'd tell you the solution would be better public transportation, but when I was younger, I had completely bought into the promise of things like Waymo. The idea of self-driving cars was transfixing to my younger self.

You could argue a part of that is due to American cultural indoctrination about the car as a symbol of agency. It was also because, in my experience, travel by bus is far slower than travel by car. Either way, I was so lost in the American late-stage capitalist soup that I didn't realize the actual solution - trains.

And this, I think, explains why things like Elon Musk's Boring Company are so alluring. Trains have a negative image to the average American, and cars are seen as an emblem of American freedom and agency, like the gun (oh boy that's an entire discussion on its own), and so people get swept up into the narrative of cars-as-public-transit, because they either don't realize public transit would have those benefits too, or they place outsize value on the car itself, be it due to the aforementioned agency, or due to a desire for privacy.

The ultimate realization of this, of course, is Elon Musk admitting that he only pitched the idea of the Hyperloop as a poison pill to kill the California high speed rail project, because he didn't want to share a train with other people.

But there's another example of a pie-in-the-sky hypercapitalist dream technology that I think preys outsize on disabled people. And that's Meta's pitched idea for the metaverse, or any metaverse concept that involves supplanting or augmenting reality.

Of course, there are platforms like Second Life, VRChat, Neos VR, Resonite... Platforms where, either officially or unofficially, you can make an income off of paid assets, like custom avatars. When combined with the fact that these are immersive social platforms, especially when VR gets involved, these platforms suggest that one can use them to replace the 'real world'.

To the disabled, this is a swan song - no longer do you even NEED that self-driving car, you can live an entire remote life. If income from these platforms isn't enough to sustain you, you could get a remote office job, and just use social VR in your downtime, or you could find a way to get passive income, by making something people will have a continuous need for, like music on Spotify that's safe to use in Twitch streams, or video game engine asset packs. There's lots of ways to approach that problem, but it's out-of-scope of this post.

To get back to the point, Meta's pitch for their metaverse is like this concept on overdrive. A world where everyone is wearing an AR headset at all times, and as a result, anyone can remote into any location through a sort of VR telepresence. If your friends are somewhere, and you can't be there, say you're sick, say you're disabled, say you have a baby or a partner to take care of, for any reason, you can just start a group call with them over VR, and you'd 'be there' without being there.

Of course, this leaves a lot of unspoken issues on the table. How would this necessarily work? They would need to make and maintain a digital spatial 'layer' over the real world, that people would access, be it using an AR headset in person, or a VR headset remotely.

They aren't going to set up depth cameras all over the world to capture the environment on an ongoing basis, so would they do this using the cameras on peoples' headsets? What if someone was wearing a headset and doing something private, like reading a note from someone? Then someone in VR could invisibly sneak up behind them and read it. What about countries with strict privacy laws, like Germany?

It's a siren song for the disabled, sold on a dream, but that dream is built on implicit and explicit violations of social norms, and it's turtles privacy violations all the way down.

I don't have anywhere I'm really going with this. I just, wanted to get it all out onto paper, because I've been thinking about how leftists will call technologies like self-driving cars, hyperloop, the metaverse, etc, things like pipe dreams by the rich, or the 'torment nexus' (a future technology originating as a cautionary tale against creating it in a sci-fi novel), but I think that misses the intersectionality of how these technologies can be seductive to people that, if they were feasible, would benefit from them.

The operative part of that sentence being 'if they were feasible', and my point being that they either are not, or are not without massive drawbacks, making them a siren song and ultimately destructive.

But who cares as long as Elon and Zuck are making billions off the back of impossible dreams, right? /s

[dollarbin]

Dollar Bin #7:

Art Garfunkel's Watermark,

Special Melted Edition!

Good news, people. I traveled to Portland and hit one of their dollar bins last week, emerging victorious with 10 or so new-to-me titles for a grand total of $32, and all of them are candidates for future posts. Everyone's been clambering for my take on Art Garfunkel and Bob "whoops, I just shaved off my eyebrows" Geldof, right? Please?

We'll get to good old Artie Funk in a moment, I promise. I'm sure he has a huge international following who gather in silent support every time his entire limo gets arrested for way too much pot smoke, but all you Garfolks need to just take a chill pill for a minute because there's some bad news to follow my good news, the kind of bad news that will leave you crying in your beer. (Stop reading right now and go get some beer to cry in if it's not already in hand.)

Dear reader, I left those Portland Dollar Bin records in my rental car during my trip, figuring it was all good because, after all, I was in Portland. But when I visited my stack three days later, I found the following Gertrude-chugging-the-poisoned-wine level tragedy had occurred:

Take the rag away from your face friends; now's not the time for your tears. The record above is a $1 copy of a soundtrack by Luna's Dean Wareham for a Noah Baumbach movie I'd never even heard of beforehand called Mistress America starring Barbie's very own Greta Gerwig. Nice title, Noah! What's the sequel called, Senorita Canada?

I like Sideshow by the Seashore as much as the next guy and I still remember the bizarre but edgy decision to lay Street Hassle over the climax of The Squid and the Whale so I figured $1 was a very safe investment for the soundtrack. But reading just now that the Financial Times finds that a "neo-screwball" sequence in the movie "exemplifies the film's themes of love, art, and betrayal" makes me want to melt Baumbach's entire face, so I'm no longer too broken up about the record's destruction.

Having just read that previous paragraph, my famous brother, who's surely interviewed Dean, is no longer crying in his locally sourced organic sour beer; rather he is silently cursing my woeful ignorance while hitting speed dial for Greta at the Barbie Dreamcastle so as to swiftly disassociate himself from The Dollar Bin forever. Sorry bro!

But let's move now to the real tragedy in this saga. Do you know how many vinyl copies of Fairport Convention's Live at the L.A. Troubadour are currently for sale on the internet? (We are not talking about House Full here, people, we are talking about the original release.)

Two copies. Two. Total.

That's right, while there are surely 6.4 million copies of Catch Bull at Four out there to be had, there are just two copies of Live at the L.A. Troubadour available in the whole wide universe. But last weekend I found a third one in Portland, one that no one has played or even looked at in its 50 years of Dollar Bin dwelling. That third copy was good as new and it cost $12. $12! That'll buy you half a Michelada at a Dodgers game; so finding that record and getting it at that price was as lucky as picking Mike Piazza in the 498th round.

And what did I do with this coveted find? You already know.

I melted it.

Bury the rag DEEP in your face, because I basically melted Mike Piazza. What kind of shlub am I? Next time you invite me over for drinks, don't pour me the good stuff because I'll just spill it all over your birth certificates, your Picassos and your tiny children's handwritten thank you letters, complete with heart drawings, for grandma. Rather, serve me a cheap domestic and give me a bib.

This is only my second experience with music melting. How many have you had? 25 years ago I left a CD copy of Mule Variations in my Ford Tempo and returned after a full day of work to find that the whole thing had turned into a flame broiled platter of creeping destruction. What the hell was I building, you ask? Melted Music, I respond. I was bummed back then. But that was nothing in comparison to last weekend's woe.

But I promised you good news, and more good news is coming! Firstly, my famous friend Greg's frig, located outside of Portland, was full of Miller High Life, The Champagne of Beers. So I had some.

Secondly, I soon discovered that the lower down I went in the record stack from the car the less melting had occurred.

And guess what was located far enough down to still be playable without any audible disruption? Live at the Troubadour! Sure, watching it go around on my turntable is like watching my cat try to shake off her fleas but I plan to never sell a single title in my Dollar Bin and I know that when my children inherit my dumpster of a collection they will cherish it forever and probably never even notice that my Troubadour record looks as sloppy as my t-shirt collection. So what the hell do I care?

Okay, at this point the Art Garpeople who joined this blog just to hear my thoughts on Watermark, Godfunkle's 1977 third outing as a solo artist who neither wrote songs nor played an instrument, are demanding my immediate destruction. I guess I'd better talk about the record.

So let's drop the needle already!

Uh-oh. Either Watermark is a big deal, unlistenable concept record (like Pink Floyd's The Wall) about bobbing about on the deep seas of regret, troubled water all about and nary a bridge to be seen, wherein Artie shakes his famous high tenor and the whole band way down to deepest bass every fourth syllable OR my copy of Watermark was higher in the stack of Portland heated mutilation and is now warped to the point where Gargie's version of a What a Wonderful World unintentionally sounds like What a Woooooooonderfil World.

(Yes, I mean what I said just now about The Wall. Bob Geldoff shaving his brows in the film is the best thing to say about the whole thing; Roger Waters, post Animals, makes Stephen Stills sound like a reputable songwriter.)

But relax, all you Artie G fanatics. I will ease your mi-i-ind. I'm not going to judge Watermark based on my very wavy copy. So cool your jets, adjust your giant perms and trust me. I promise to buy a second, unwarped $1 copy of Watermark and write all about it, asap.

Before we go, I must sorrowfully report one final tragic occurrence from this whole sordid episode. While hunting the Dollar Bin in Portland I had my eye out for Stephen Stills records. The fact is that at some point I need to place my entire, rapidly blossoming reputation as a Dollar Bin influencer on the line by actually listening to entire Stephen Stills records. If they are good, I'm finished. So, sadly, I've got to go out and buy some.

But the Portland store I visited, ridiculously, had marked its more than a dozen copies of Stills 2 at $2 each. Memo to the store: no one wants Stills records at $2 a pop. Ever.

The tragedy here is that I did not find any of our favorite villain's records cheap enough to buy, so I did not proceed to place them on the top of the stack in my rental car, thereby melting them out of existence. Thus the world is still saddled with copies of Stills 2.

Next time I melt music I promise to do so more thoughtfully.

(P.S. If you are still reading this, please know that my school year just started and so my pace of posting here will surely slow. My goal is to write once a week and I really do appreciate you letting me ramble. Hunting in The Dollar Bin requires your patience!)

[violetjedisylveon]

Into The Market

Summary: Eda takes Enzo and King to the market for a grocery run. On the way back, Enzo gets a protective friend.

Word count: 4.0k

Warnings: trauma, referenced child abuse, child abuse, gaslighting, manipulation, referenced manipulation, implied harm to child, nightmares, multiple Philip/Belos mentions. Typos

A/N: I've decided that the name of this AU is pretty long so I abbreviated it to Er2g AU if you want to use that as well as the longer version for talking about it or whatever. Also, there is an adorable snake in this chapter, please do enjoy.

Eda raises two gods AU link here. Nibs the Cat Snake here.

________________________________________________________________________________

The food markets were a whole different experience from the selling market. It was much louder and busier. Enzo made sure to keep Eda in their sights at all times when he couldn't hold her hand.

Eda had turned away to inspect some packaged food and Enzo caught King sneaking out of the cart. Acting instantly, they scooped King up into their arms before he could get any further. He squealed and flailed around.

"It's not playtime King, you needa stay with the owl lady." Enzo scolded him.

He pouted and tried escaping again as they tried to set him back in the cart.

"We're gonna need some way to keep track of this little guy." Eda sighed.

Enzo nodded, it would be nice to have something that would let them keep track of King. They wouldn't have to worry every time he was out of their sight.

Something shiny caught their eye. A bunch red collars with gold tags were hanging off the edge of the pet aisle.

"What about one of those?" They pointed it out to Eda.

She set the bag of dried fruit she was holding down and took a look at it. She examined one, pulling it to see how strong it was and make sure it wouldn't stay caught on anything. It looked able to take quite a bit of punishment.

"This should be good enough for now, I can put a tracking spell on it at home." Eda dropped the collar into Enzo's hands.

They held it out to King, he sniffed curiously and tried to bite it. Enzo giggled and gave King some head scratches, their brother leaned into the touch with a soft little chuff.

"Hey Enzo, which one of these do you think our little escapee would like?" Eda asked.

They glanced away from King to see what she was talking about. Eda was holding up two bags of dried meat, each had different scents with them. Enzo tapped their chin in thought. Well, Dad and Cel liked smokey foods, King should like them too, right?

"The smokey smelling one." They answered.

Eda tossed the selected bag into their cart and pushed the cart out of the row of dried food. Enzo held on to the side of the cart so he wouldn't get lost.

They passed a cool area with packages of meat sitting on shelves. Eda picked out a few packages of griffin sausage and other griffin meats. Enzo looked over the other options available, there were various sea meat options. Enzo remembered eating some kind of thin and wiggly sea animal with Dad, Cel would join them in hunting and eat it too. They searched through the sea options for anything that resembled it, they had liked it, it had a nutty and slightly salty flavor.

They found it under the name Nut-headed Squid. It looked almost the same as he remembered it, they grabbed one and showed it to Eda.

"Um... can we get this too?" Enzo asked shyly.

Eda took the package from them and examined it, making sure it was nothing poisonous for the kid.

"d-Dad and I used to eat it, he ate the bigger ones and I ate the smaller ones." Enzo added.

"Sure kid, if you'd like them." Eda put the squid into the cart.

"Do you have any other foods you like?" She asked.

"Uh, I dunno, a lotta things have changed and I don't recognize much. Sorry." They apologized, fearing the reaction for forgetting again.

"Don't worry about it, it's not your fault you can't remember." Eda told them.

Enzo stared at her. It wasn't their fault they couldn't remember something? Philip always got upset for their 'bad memory' and blamed them for forgetting about something important even if they hadn't known.

"Is something wrong Enzo?" Eda asked.

She sounded concerned, it sounded genuine, more genuine than Philip ever sounded.

"N-no, nothing's wrong." They shook their head.

Eda was silently concerned about the reaction a simple comment had received. Enzo had expected some sort of punishment for forgetting? She made a mental note to write that, and the other behaviors she'd observed on their little trip, down somewhere she wouldn't loose it.

"C'mon, let's gets some milk and eggs, after that we can go and get as much Blossom Bat fruit as you can carry." Eda told the kid.

Their face lit up with excitement.

"Really? Let's go!" They shouted, pulling the front of the cart to make it go faster.

Eda chuckled when King jumped onto his sibling's head with a triumphant squeak.

XXX

Enzo dropped their armful of fruit onto the checkout counter with a big smile. Eda was surprised by how much they could carry, but didn't back out and was going to buy it all. She had enough money to cover the groceries bought from her market sales today and Blossom Bat fruit was very cheap.

She put the rest of the groceries on the counter and snagged King back when he wound up on the counter with the food. She had gotten her usual groceries, with some kid aimed stuff like cereal, some snacks that she figured they'd like and the couple of things that Enzo recognized and nervously asked if they could get it. She didn't have much of an idea of what she would need outside of food for the kids, but she figured she had the bare minimum at the moment, she didn't have enough toys yet. She could stop by the kid friendly part of the market on their way back and see what toys they wanted.

The cashier checked them out without any problems and she payed, the full amount and legally this time. She didn't need to attract attention today.

She took the grocery bag that was offered to her, it had an expansion spell on it so everything fit and it wasn't too heavy due to the counter weight spell it also had. The bag would last for a good amount of time and she could use it for a while until she got around to putting such spells on a bag of her own and using that instead. She put King back in the carrier and took Enzo's hand to leave the store.

"We have one more stop, you and King can pick out something you like there." She told Enzo.

XXX

King was currently attacking a chew toy meant for large beast demons, ones much larger than he was. It was cute to see the little guy think he could take the massive toy.

Enzo thankfully came to the rescue and stopped their brother from getting hurt. Eda flipped through another parenting book, this one intended for demons. It was highly rated and proven to be a successful help according to reviews. She might as well take it too in addition to the more witch intended parenting books, the kind that was made for how to deal with all the emotions and uncertainty for parents and another that was how to deal with the kid part of it.

She bought all three books and put them into the grocery bag, grateful the owner of this stand had books and toys for sale. She saw King playing with a raccoon toy that he seemed to like a lot out of the corner of her eye, but she didn't see Enzo. They never went far, she scanned the other stalls and to her relief found the kid quickly.

Enzo was standing with their face pressed against the glass of some sort of display at a pet stall. The stall looked pretty legitimate, Eda was pretty sure she'd seen posts from the owner on penstagram about how to care for all sorts of critters.

"See something you like, Enzo?" She asked, going over to them while keeping an ear on King.

Enzo pulled their face away from the glass and nodded vigorously. They pointed to the creature in the enclosure. It was a young Cat Snake, three months old, patternless and a Grassland one if the sign was to be believed.

The Cat Snake had uncoiled from it's perch and extended it's head towards Enzo. It's nose was pressed agaist the glass and soft brown eyes followed Enzo's every move. It tongue flicked and Enzo cooed. Eda could already tell the kid had fallen in love with the endearing creature, and the snake seemed to like them a lot too.

"Well that's a first, this little one hasn't taken a liking to anyone." The owner, and likely breeder, commented.

Enzo turned big puppy dog eyes on her with a pleading expression.

"Eda, can I please get them? They like me and wanna be friends." Enzo asked in a very nervous voice.

"They want to be friends?" She repeated.

"Yeah, they told me so!" Enzo nodded.

"Now hold on, you can't just buy an animal without knowing how to take care of it." The owner warned.

"I know how, I kept some wild Cat Snakes when I was a kid." Eda told the owner.

"Wild?" The owner repeated with a slightly judgemental expression.

"I let them go." She rolled her eyes.

She turned back to Enzo, who was still looking at her with that pleading expression.

"You have to take care of them, you understand that, right?" She asked them sternly.

"I'll do everything for them, I promise!" Enzo swore.

"Alright, I have an old tank you can use for their enclosure, we can fill it up at home." She told the kid.

She saw the Cat Snake doing a sort of happy little dance, followed by Enzo's little 'aww'.

"How much is it?" She asked the owner.

The owner gave her a tired, untrusting look.

"I'm not sure I trust you with this animal's health and safety since you are so spontaneously buying one." They stated.

"Relax, I know what I'm doing and we both know how tough these guys are." She said while pulling out the rest of the snails from her market sales.

"I suppose this should cover the cost and whatever else you think we might need?" She prompted.

The exchange was quick. The owner passed the Cat Snake into Enzo's hands very carefully, gave them a bag of the essentials they thought necessary. Eda gave them the required amount, and happily had a couple snails left over. Enough for a toy or two.

She went to find King a few toys he liked, listening to Enzo happily talking to their new friend. Titan shit, these kids could be so adorable sometimes.

XXX

"I've got it!" Eda almost dropped the pan she was washing when Enzo suddenly shouted.

"You've got what kiddo?" She asked, peering over the counter.

Enzo ran up to her with their new pet in his hands.

"I've got her name! They like it too!" Enzo said happily.

"What did you pick?" Eda asked them.

The kid had been deep in thought and in intense conversation since they got home. She was more than a little interested in learning what they picked out.

"They're name is Noodle Bellatrix Spring. Nibs for short." Enzo told her.

Heh, figures they couldn't pick just one name.

"What do you think?" Enzo asked.

"I think that is a great name for that little cutie." She told them.

Enzo was so, so happy. There was a light in their red and yellow eyes she had rarely seen. In the few hours she'd been in their life, Nibs had already eased some of the demon kid's intense fears and insecurities. Cat Snakes were a widely trusted companion, it was said they could help most relax and reduce stress significantly. They were intelligent creatures fully capable of understanding those subtle near hidden signals that would go off before something happened to their friends. They were so good at this that they actually worked great as service and emotional support animals.

Eda felt good seeing the almost instant impact of the calming, friendly creature on Enzo. This would help her with figuring out Enzo's situation and hopefully prevent any disasters from happening.

"Can you go get King? It's almost dinner." She asked them.

Enzo nodded and ran back to the living room where King was playing with his new toys. He was standing over them like the conquering king in the book Eda just read to them.

"C'mon King, it's dinner!" They swooped in and plucked their brother off his little tower.

Any protest was silenced by the smell of food. King wiggled around until he was put in his baby seat so he wouldn't fall in his ravenous excitement. He seemed to like his new collar too.

Enzo set Nibs down at her own spot at the table and held out a small eye rat (those things Vee drained magic from, it might not be what they are actually called but I'm calling them that.) that they'd thawed for her to eat. They hissed and went into a strike pose then struck at her food and started lining it up to eat it.

A bowl with warm, spicy and salty smelling liquid in it was put in the center of the table. Eda had been curious about the Nut-headed Squid and wanted to try some too, she'd found a way to make it that smelled so much like when Dad, them and Este would catch and eat them.

Eda set a plate with some slices of bread down and a bowl of salad. Enzo waited for her to sit before eating, even if she'd told him it was okay, they still felt like there'd be some punishment for it.

Once Eda was seated, Enzo snatched up one of the squids and bit into it. It was full of that slight spice and salty nutty flavor, it was just like they remembered. They cracked the hardned ink sac and let the dark fluid soak the rest of the squid and slurped the tentacles down after.

"Tastes like Peanut butter." Eda commented.

"Whaths Peanuth buther?" Enzo asked around their food.

"We can have some for lunch tomorrow." Eda said.

Enzo shrugged and went in for another squid.

"These ones are pretty small, Dad used to catch these really, really big ones, and he'd eat them whole too!" Enzo told Eda.

"That is really impressive."

"And Este could eat some of the bigger small ones, they'd help me catch 'em." Enzo added as King slurped up a tentacle of the squid, just like Este used too.

Eda didn't miss the soft, wistful look Enzo gave their brother as they talked about this, friend, she assumed. It was nice to see the kids both relaxed for once. Their trip had been a successful one and she hadn't made a fatal mistake taking them out today.

XXX

Enzo shivered in their sleep, an unnatural cold creeping up their spine. They felt a non-physical pull, like their whole body had been grabbed by something sticky and was being dragged down. They didn't like that feeling.

And they definitely didn't like the feeling of losing to the relentless pulling. Which was happening.

They were losing.

And not even the terrifying prospect of whatever punishment was undoubtedly in store for them was enough to wake them up.

Philip is going to be so mad at me for resisting the tablet this long!

They'd been resisting the tablet's influence for about two weeks since Philip had first summoned them. He didn't like when his orders were disobeyed.

Enzo felt the cold stone and the warm nest at the same time. They'd lost. They were projecting.

They saw something different this time, they were in a large room with a beating heart above a chair. Something broken was scattered across the floor. A child with a white hood was frantically trying to clean it up.

Then he entered, and, oh no, Philip was mad. Enzo wanted to tell that kid to run but they couldn't speak, a hard lump in their throat prevented it.

"What have you done?" Enzo shivered, the fierce cold anger was always a bad sign.

"u-Uncle! I'm sorry! I ran into it and it fell and-" the boy cut off with a scream as Philip let his true form be seen for a moment, it looked worse than last time.

Enzo covered their mouth as the boy was knocked to the floor, a bloody gash in his cheek, he felt the wound and -oh the look of horror on his face when he saw the blood! It made Enzo's stomach churn. Philip's body rippled and throbbed as his form went back to human, his eyes were glowing a cold blue as he loomed over the boy.

"Don't give me excuses, Hunter, I expect more from you." Philip hissed.

Blood dripped off his hand and onto the ground, Enzo got a better look at the boy, they looked familiar, much too familiar. Sounded familiar too, in a very bad way. They remembered the last time Philip had red blood on his hands.

Philip had someone come at take the kid away without so much as another word, feigning being upset beyond words.

Once the door shut and everyone was gone, Philip turned to Enzo's shadowy form, projecting on the wall with the beating heart.

"Ah, Collector, I'm glad to see you've finally decided to listen." Philip's voice was full of cold anger.

"Who was that?" Enzo asked.

"Hunter? He's just my nephew. He disappointed me, and you know how much I hate to be disappointed." Philip said with a pointed look at their chin, their scar must have showed with the shadow projection.

"I think myself to be a rather reasonable man, though I do have my limits," Philip paused and inavded their space.

Enzo shivered and flinched away when the horrible human came closer to them. They hated the uncaring coldness he had, they hated he was still alive, that he could summon them, they hated everything about him.

"So why are you ignoring me, Collector!" Philip's arm shot towards them.

Enzo flinched and tried to pull free of his influence over them, their physical body twitched as they fought.

Nibs tongue flicked to try and pinpoint the location of the foul stench they were picking up. It was coming from the nest. She glanced around her enclosure, it was well sealed, but they could find a gap to slither through. That smell was bad news.

She dropped to the ground and slithered over to the nest. Peeking over the edge, they found the witch asleep with the tiny island smelling demon curled up on her chest. However, they found the problem quickly, Enzo was twitching in his sleep, it was unnatural and the rotten smell was coming from him.

Nibs slithered around the edge of the nest and nudged Enzo with her tail. Something was especially off about them, she made a light spell to get a better look. Enzo's body was only twitching with small movements, but their shadow was spasming, thrashing and convulsing violently.

This was bad, Nibs concluded. It needed to be solved quickly, Enzo was going to hurt themself soon. There was a concerning bruise on them already.

Nibs slunk into the nest and coiled around Enzo's head.

Enzo felt the added weight in their projection. A way back! Enzo grasped onto it like a lifeline, hoping it would save them from this nightmare.

Nibs felt this response and thought it right to alert Enzo's mother to their plight. She sent her light over to shine in the witch's eyes and hissed until she woke up.

Eda covered her eyes, thinking the sun had come in through the not shut window, then she heard the insistent, worried hissing. She carefully maneuvered King off her chest, only for him to wake up from the hissing as well.

She heard the soft rustling from twitching and caught Enzo twitching out of the corner of her eye. Nibs was coiled around their head and looked worried, she was tongue flicking. Eda picked up a strange, foul stench herself.

Enzo's shadow was on the ceiling and thrashing violently.

Eda was pretty sure that wasn't normal.

Fuck! What do I do?! There is nothing about this in any of the books I bought!

Eda slapped herself.

"Alright, pull yourself together Eda, you can do, something, about this." She told herself.

"But what?" She whispered.

Nibs was sitting on Enzo's head for some reason... maybe they were doing something that was helping? Eda cast a communication spell and the hissing transformed into words.

"Needs bridge back." Nibs was hissing.

"A bridge back? Back from where?" Eda asked.

Nibs gave her the snake equivalent of a shrug, she assumed.

"Does contact with their physical body help?" She wondered as she took Enzo's twitching hand.

They instantly grabbed onto her hand like it was a lifeline, the squeeze was a bit more painful than it should have been. Eda shook her head, she'd have time for that later, there would be time for all of the questions later. King scampered over to his sibling and climbed on top of their chest with a couple of worried squeaks.

"Enzo? Can you hear me? Kid, we're all getting worried, we need you to wake up."

The owl lady's voice was crystal clear and cut through the panic. Enzo felt the weight of King on their chest, and their hand squeezing.

"Leave me alone Philip!" They shouted.

"No Collector, I won't. We made a deal, afterall, and I am holding you to your end." Philip said, flicking his pinkie finger and sending another shot of goo at them.

"You lied! You broke the deal and you lied!" Enzo yelled.

"You are calling me the liar? I remember you promised me something and then lied about it, honestly Collector, I am disappointed you would call me the liar." Philip scolded.

Enzo flinched. They didn't like that voice! They didn't like it when he did this!

"Leave me alone, you're just a liar! A liar! Liar liar pants on fire!" Enzo screeched while lurching free of the influence.

Their eyes flew open with a sharp gasp. Their heart raced.

Slowly, the world returned to them.

King's nose.

His soft breath on their face.

The owl lady's nest.

Cozy blankets and pillows all around them.

Nibs's tongue.

Her weight on their head.

Concered golden eyes looking down at them.

Eda.

Enzo sat up slowly, wide, terrified eyes staring at nothing. Their shadow was back where it was supposed to be. Another bruise was forming on their chin.

"Enzo?" Eda said in a near whisper.

Enzo flinched and turned to her with shame on their face.

"I'm sorry I woke you up again..." Enzo mumbled, twirling King's fur around their fingers as small tears started forming.

What kind of kid apologizes for having a nightmare? Just what happened to them?

Whatever.

Those questions could wait. Everything could wait.

She had a kid to comfort.

"Enzo, it's okay, you don't need to apologize. It's a good thing I woke up, I can stay up with you now. You don't have to apologize for anything you can't control." Eda said softly, placing a gentle hand on Enzo's shoulder.

The little demon kid hesitantly glanced up at her, their little ears bent back in fear. The tears fell silently for a moment, then Enzo started sobbing.

Eda took note of the reaction every movement got out of Enzo as she scooped the kid up into her arms. She rubbed their back in large circles, whispering quietly to them as King wiggled his way into Enzo's lap and tried his hand at a hug. Nibs even joined in, curling around Enzo's head and purring.

Eda rocked back and forth in the dark room, listening to the distressed, mumbling rambles of the kid until the light came through the window.

________________________________________________________________________________

For reference, Cel/Este are both nicknames for Celeste, Celeste is/was an adolescent Titan friend of Enzo's that hung around with them and King's dad. Celeste was an older adolescent Titan, old enough to be more independent from their parent. They are/were one of Enzo's best friends.

More trauma for Enzo! Yay!

And also baby Hunter trauma! Toh crew is right, it is really easy to torment him.

Do you like Noodle Bellatrix Spring?

Here's the link to the post about Nibs!

I know that the way I wrote Eda and Enzo getting Nibs isn't super accurate to real life and what most snake breeders would do, but I, well I don't have an excuse, I just didn't want to write that. I wanted to get to the snakey! And the trauma! Please excuse me for being impatient with myself.

I make no promises for less trauma in the next chapter, but I'll try to keep it to a minimum.

I have no idea how you're supposed to eat squid, I searched up how to eat it properly and couldn't find anything so I just assumed head first. Sorry if the way it was eaten is not accurate.

I hope you all have a good day, whatever that is for you.

VJS out!

[garbagefarm]

Mutucule Farm (#10)

2023-02-20, session #10 of Mutucule Farm!

Cast:

Me (@mothmute — Yoshi)

Belle (@snacco — Dry Bones)

Cam (@amanitaspore​ — Shyguy)

Erin (@salamand3rin​ — Shyguy or Daisy, depending on whether everybody else hates Daisy)

Highlights include, but are not limited to:

Upgrading Pompkin to be bigger and flatter

mmm, cherry bombs, delicious

content warning: backpacks

look, when a mommy baba yaga hut and a daddy baba yaga hut love each other very much,...

“snompkin” (I do not remember the context)

Marnie: great person, questionable business owner

horse envy!!

Belle finds a weird doll

Gunther can tell you more! ... but do you really want him to?

Belle gets prairie king’d by Abigail

(The Prairie King eats your time)

Delivering Willy a Squid at midnight. squidnight, if you will

Cam holds a burger over his head, and it looks like a hat

I acquire birds!

My naming theme for the birds are birds:

Catbird, Bluejay, Heron, and Grackle

Penny having a little winter picnic with the kids, wants me to tell them about country living!

one of the options says we have the best lumber south of Grampleton. hey, where the fuck is Grampleton?

Vincent wants to know more about goblins

I find a garbage hat!! Wrong farm!!

Belle considers more farm animals, I tell her to goat for it

“I’ll send little Baphomet to her new home right away” thanks Marnie

(The other one is “Black? Phillip”)

RIP Cam, dead in the mines

Cheesecourse rears its ugly head again!

Datin’ Penny

I get a heart event with Penny where she poisons me

... and I click exactly when the dialog options come up, accidentally choosing to lie and say it’s delicious, fantastic

I am one step closer to the Slutch

Sebastian says the frogs aren’t very happy in this weather (it’s winter), saying “poor little guys”— I admire his commitment to frogs

I deliver Emily a rock from Clint and get a smooch

Access to the sewers and Krobus

would talking about void eggs be ... vegg-blogging?

Shane has an encounter with a bear! (pictured below)

I’m just gonna hold onto these eggs

“until they hatch?”

... yes.

“are you going to sit on them?”

The Fish Archives start paying off immediately

Deluxe pack!!

hey guys, who do you main in Junimo Cart?

(Listed up in the “cast”)

Ice fest teleports us from the town entrance to the farm entrance

... why was there a woodpecker on that igloo?

Demetrius forgets his jacket (again)

Cool Pigloo

revvin’ up that hog!

Fish contest!

Belle & Erin take one hole, Cam & I take the other (ours is cursed and I leave)

It’s a tie between me and Belle!

lape nipe snea snap

I wear the victory hat immediately, Belle sticks with the witch hat

“witch hat stays on during sex”

My miserable field of winter forageables is up!

stay away from my crops

Remote milking technology is here, milk wi-fi

Quest to go into the mines and rustle up some grubs!

I hit the Duggy reward in the process

Belle & Sebastian is canon!

Camily is canon!

(I handed Cam a bouquet, we might legally be dating now, too)

The Witch and the Snowman are dating, too (pictured below)

Caroline just sticks a stamp on a potato and mails it to me

I find another garbage hat!! Wrong farm!!

Erin moves the bears around, musical bears

ordering pizza from Jumino’s, instead they remove a glittering boulder

TO-DO:

Fruit trees for the greenhouse? Apples, for bundle-related reasons?

Taller barns? Wider barns? Sheep? Hog??

Taller coop, more birds?

idk, we always need tool upgrades

More! Romance!

Photos:

Shane and the Bear at the Stardrop Saloon

snowman and witch are dating

[kicktwine]

here r some more silly things about yaonggi because I’ve been thinking about my splat oc for the past four days

she has always liked music a LOT, but never wanted to be in a famous band. in her spare time she makes weird low bass breakcore with a ton of classical instruments and chopped up vocals. koya is her favorite person to pull clips from, followed very closely by old enemy octoling recordings.

she’s actually a pretty angry person, despite being super cheerful and a lot calmer nowadays! she does crave Violence, but doesn’t want that to be how people see her anymore. The music thing is how she expresses that. all of her visuals are of extinct predators

her name is probably not her original name. Kitt and Charlie helped her with it, she doesn’t remember what it was

she is obsessed w button up shirts. they’re so loose and colorful

she cannot stand skirts. they are too loose and colorful

She has webbed fingers and toes! I based her off a blanket octopus mostly, she cuts her tentacles shorter, but is a Fast swimmer and if she let her hair grow out it would grow down like ribbons in the back. And because she’s a blanket octopus she has poison resistance (they are immune to Portuguese man o war venom!) and could shake off marginally more of the zombification thing than was expected. She’s still preddy lucky

her snaggletooth is not a species thing. She just has a huge fang for no reason.

she has a fondness for salmon run. Also, must check the entire map before anyone starts, just in case there’s someone there. she doesn’t want anyone to do what she did

her favorite food is cup noodle because that’s the first surface food she had with a friend. But her second favorite food is salmon also she tried to eat little buddy at first

for the first few months she stuck very close to Charlie just because everything was REALLY new and she did not speak a SINGLE word of inklish. Besides scattered lyrics, anyways. Charlie is pretty intimidating looking, like an experienced bodyguard in x rank, but she’s a sweetheart. And a bit of a goober. Who taught her how to make puns

dualies main. She likes the dodge

i should make a cute ref… meruz has a cute ref template

anyways

yaonggi also really loves stickers and grilled food, and even though she tends to wear one pair of shoes into the ground, she makes sure they are COOL sneakers

she has a faded greenish stain on her right forearm and a faint offcolor splotch on her chest

she likes to stain her claws bright colors, it was an octarian fashion statement and dang it she likes how it looks. Sometimes she stains the entire forearm and hand too

she thinks lil Judd is really cute. she wants to pet him every time she sees him. kinship

she also thinks deep cut is REALLY COOL, and wouldn’t have minded doing the bandit thing WITH them… unfortunately she, isn’t that familiar with off the hook or squid sisters. She thinks capt 3 is cool though. Maybe a bit of a loser, but a really cool loser.

she still kinda thinks the world of dj octavio. she didn’t want to fight him

still doesn’t get the sleeping in thing. Does get the staying up late thing. This is a problem

she sucks at tableturf. she threw the table at baby jelly and apologized PROFUSELY