#spoilers - understanding of integrals is not required. but you will learn--

[prostocupoftea]

I have made a stickrr

Aww, look at him! Ah, it seems like he has something behind him- But, i mean, you wouldn't want to disturb him, right? (:

It came out good for the first time i think, hehe

And of course my object show style integral oc bc she is already everywhere and i show no signs of stopping

Also yes this is my work laptop. Yes it glows in the dark. I have no shame certified

[butterflydm]

wot rewatch (book spoilers edition): 2x4

Not only is this one going to have spoilers for all the aired episodes plus any teasers, it will also have book spoilers through book 14: a memory of light (haha let's pretend I didn't accidentally call it book 13 in my previous rewatch book spoilers posts). I am also going to talk about the trailer for ep5.

I love this change to the seals being what's holding the Forsaken -- and Lanfear's side-step of death at the end of the episode shows us why such a choice was required on LTT's part (I am currently assuming it was LTT who was the driving force behind this because of the memory echo that Rand had at the 'Eye of the World' where he was confronting Ishamael). He had to seal them up because they couldn't be killed conventionally, because the Dark One could just bring them back (Lord of the Grave). This is a great change for a visual medium because it means they can keep the same actors instead of needing to swap them out for a new body. It also adds a great new threat level to the Forsaken right off the bat and it gives viewers another reason to understand why joining the Shadow might be compelling. They don't want the wheel and reincarnation -- they want to live on as the person that they are now.

It's also interesting because it means that the Forsaken are potentially widely dispersed and it may mean that Ishy has to actively seek for where they've been sealed up (maybe asking his Darkfriends to try to find more seals like this) -- which may mean that the Forsaken are loosed more slowly than in the books, as Ishamael discovers where Lews Therin hid them. (or they were all released here and we were only shown Lanfear because she's the most relevant one)

3. The reveal that Lady Anveare is Moiraine's younger sister! This episode gives us a lot of information about Moiraine -- one of the big things that we learn is that she's much older than she was in the books. Which is a change I like; so many of the AS that we meet in the books are still within a 'natural' lifespan and it was kinda weird tbh. I think that she (and Siuan) took longer to make Accepted and Sister in this version (hence the note we get about how Cadsuane is the person to compare Nynaeve's rocketing through the ranks to and not the two of them) and that they were already full Sisters when they heard the prophecy from Gitara. This does track with them wearing blue in that scene from the trailer, which is potentially going to be a flashback to the prophecy (fingers crossed! would love to hear it!).

I am curious about how this may affect all the various familial relations in the show! But they were basically ignored completely in the books anyway, lol.

4. "My family have a cabin up near Kinslayer's Dagger". Wanting to take Rand up to the place that was named after how LTT killed his wife and all of the people that he loved -- I mean, yeah. That's Lanfear for you. So... has Lanfear used Compulsion on Rand at all or is it all pure manipulation? I am torn, tbh. She's manipulating him hard, both in the waking world and in the world of dreams. I'm not sure if she needed Compulsion to push him over the edge -- and I feel like her reaction to him implying that he loves her feels very genuine and I don't know if she would be quite that blown away by him saying that if she's been Compelling him to go along with her part of the way. They also might not want to lean too much on Compulsion for subtle things like this and save it for bigger influences. But we may find out more next episode, so I will be patient. He does abruptly change his mind in her favor a couple of times, so that may speak to a hint of Compulsion. If she is using it, she's picking and choosing her moments. (I don't think Compulsion has been mentioned at all on the show yet?)

5. An interesting thought to me about how Alanna approaches being an Aes Sedai with her family: this is potentially similar to how we're going to be seeing how the Wise Ones are integrated with Aiel society. They keep their families and are a vital part of their community.

6. Timing-wise, they do make it clear that Moiraine bonded Lan after her abrupt personality change -- so Lan is probably the same age that he was in the books, with only Moiraine (and some other Aes Sedai) being older. It's also interesting that Moiraine didn't feel any need to have a Warder before she heard the prophecy.

7. I will note again that Egwene does NOT tell Elayne the name of the person that she lost, which I am going to cross my fingers has pay-off later on in the season, with Elayne meeting Rand without knowing that he's the person that Egwene is talking about here. I really do want them to meet without the context of "this is my friend's ex-boyfriend who faked his own death" hanging over their heads. Right now, Elayne has zero facts or knowledge about Rand as a person -- doesn't know his name, his looks, or that he's a man who can channel (she does not even know that Egwene is talking about a man! Egwene says "someone I love more than anything").

8. We get some more foreshadowing of the coup in this conversation with Liandrin and Leane. "If she falls, you'll fall with her." I really am wondering when exactly Elaida will be introduced. I feel like it would likely be before the coup itself happens.

Liandrin, I suspect, will not be going back to the Tower (or, if she does, it will only be briefly, to collect a handful of other Black Ajah members and then head out to whenever it is that the Black Ajah Hunters plotline will take Elayne and Nynaeve next season -- whether that be Tanchico like in the books or Tear as @markantonys has speculated, also, to briefly go back to the previous scene, I am sorry that you did not get your boy! Hopefully we will hear something about him soon). Liandrin torched her bridges with the Wondergirls in this episode, so even if she does go back to the Tower, as soon as she learns that the Seanchan were pushed out of Falme, she would know that her cover in the Tower is blown and that she needs to leave before anyone can learn about what she did.

9. I think the placement of Perrin learning about wolfbrothers is so much better here than jammed into right after Shadar Logoth, lol. Elyas really just rolled up, infodumped, and then rolled away in the books, lol.

10. We still don't know that LTT was Lanfear's ex, which is fantastic and I love it, lol. Show-onlys guessing that Ishamael is the ex that Lanfear keeps talking about is the most hilarious thing in the world and I'm in love with it. I've seen it at least twice now in the non-reader reactions that I've watched.

Haha, Lanfear's reaction when Rand reminds her that he wasn't a virgin when they slept together. Her face is just priceless. She is stabbing Egwene in her mind right now. (does she know it was Egwene? I mean, Egwene being one of the ta'veren actually gives her a shield against Lanfear killing her that she didn't have in the books, since Fain established that TDO sees all five of the ta'veren as important)

11. The show has been establishing so strongly that Rand dreams of having a home, raising his kids, and doesn't want to be... idk a lone wanderer in the wilderness, and it does make me wonder/hope that they'll adjust his ending epilogue and have him going to his loved ones in the end instead of wandering off on his own and wondering which of the women he loves is going to be the first to abandon her responsibilities to join in him wandering around aimlessly.

(it's probably obvious from my description there that I am in favor of a bit of tweaking of Rand's ending!)

12. Learning that the person telling him to 'take' what he wants was, in fact, one of the Forsaken, might be something that leads into Rand pushing away the idea of being allowed to ever indulge in the things that he wants, which would match a lot of his behavior in the books.

13. So, in the books, Barthanes is a Darkfriend. I'm assuming that's the son that Anvaere is talking about, the one that she is marrying to the nameless queen who might be a Galldrian expy. Is Anvaere a Darkfriend? Lanfear didn't seem to like her in 2x3 but, well, she was A Woman who was talking to Lanfear's Man and that might matter more to her than any Shadow affliations.

...still, I'm going to guess 'no', because I don't think the Shadow would want Moiraine to get literally any information on Rand and Anveare's information is a straight line that leads to Lanfear's throat getting cut. But Anvaere's son being a DF while she is not is also very tragic to think about! While Anveare was trying to restore their house the honorable way, Barthanes may have taken a shortcut. Another possibility would be that Barthanes is not yet a Darkfriend but will become so because of the events of this season.

14. I think "Elayne is following them because she's suspicious of why they're sneaking out of the Tower" is a good way to get around the fact that Elayne doesn't know any of the people that they're going to rescue and she ends up getting caught up in it by accident, little knowing how the course of her life is going to change. It really feels like it needed to be something like this because of us losing Caemlyn from s1.

15. I am so glad that Min has a storyline that isn't about following Rand around like a puppy. She has a painful backstory! She has goals and desires that don't revolve around Rand! She has to experience moral quandaries and goes through trauma that actually focuses on her as a person, instead of her being Rand's post-trauma cuddle toy.

16. Okay, so now that we know that Ishamael specifically wants Mat in Cairhien, I feel like that gives us a bunch of information:

a. It implies to me that Lanfear is still working under Ishamael's direction for the most part and that she's essentially "the agent assigned to Rand's corruption".

b. We know that they want to corrupt as many of the ta'veren as possible (from what Fain said in the s1 finale). Rand is the Big Prize but if any of them turned that's a bird in the hand. So, Ishamael is approaching this in a few different ways.

c. It seems like he wasn't certain exactly what was going on with Perrin until 2x3 but as soon as he has realized more about the wolf connection, he worked to try to get Perrin to view it as something evil and dark.

d. Lanfear got put in charge (volunteered, I'm sure) to do Rand. In every possible way.

e. Liandrin got basically "everyone in the Tower" but chose to focus her efforts on Nynaeve and Mat. It sounds like that may be because they were the two that stood out to her more -- she had the (hilarious) impression that Egwene was the one who would 'know her place' when the time came. So she worked on Nynaeve by trying to mentor her openly (while doing some more subtle manipulation). And she worked on Mat by destroying him psychologically.

f. Once the Seanchan are settled in the far west (maybe once Suroth's soldiers are close enough to a Waygate), Ishamael lets Liandrin know that time is up to corrupt Nynaeve and we're moving to Plan B. We've gonna do this the 'easy' way by throwing her at Suroth and let the sul'dam break Nynaeve and Egwene to be obedient.

g. But BEFORE that happened, Liandrin released Mat (with Min tugging him along) out into the world, and we find out this week that Ishamael wants Mat to be brought to Cairhien. Why?

h. Theory: Mat is the back-up plan if Lanfear fails with Rand (which she did). One of the theories that I posted about Mat's viewing from Min (Theory #4) is that he is Compelled to stab Rand. We know from 2x3 that Liandrin could sneak into his cell without waking him. Easy enough for Ishy to do the same with some Traveling. Maybe Mat is already under Compulsion by one of them, with a trigger-event waiting to happen.

Which would be completely devastating for Mat (and Rand) and also (along with Liandrin's torment of Mat in general) lead to a very compelling (ha!) reason for him to seek out a way to prevent channelers from using weaves on him. It would essentially give him the same kind of emotional reaction that we saw from the flicker-flicker scenes in the book (where he was talking about how he's not going to betray Rand) without us actually needing the Portal Stones. Mat will be: a. absolutely traumatized by Aes Sedai in general; b. terrified about weaves being used on him; c. have viscerally been forced to betray Rand against his will.

There is also... hmm, to this point. The first shot of Ishamael in the trailer for ep5 might be a match for the 'Mat is tempted by the dagger' scene that we've seen in some of the other trailers. And Ishamael and Mat getting a scene together would complete the circle of him having an intimate little talks with all the ta'veren boys. Not certain if it's the same place, but it feels like the lighting is the same. Not the later shot of him walking with Suroth but the earlier one of him in a room that looks like it's got some fireplaces going on. I will brace myself for potentially not getting Mat next episode though.

(again, if this doesn't happen in the show, I might be forced to write it. We will see!)

Plus!

i. It could provide a real-time example of Min accidentally creating a viewing while trying to prevent it! She doesn't want to hurt Mat but she also would not want him to stab Rand. But since she is the one who would likely be bringing Mat into Rand's orbit (as she has no idea that Rand is in Cairhien, I don't think), it would show the viewers that Min's viewings are inevitable instead of it just being her telling us that.

I've seen speculation that Min is going to do a U-turn and take Mat anywhere else but Cairhien (presumably accidentally going to Falme) after learning that one of the Forsaken wants Mat there but... but I really really want Rand and Mat to get a reunion lol. Rand was THE most affected by Mat staying behind last season and it would be good to build them up again in anticipation of them spending s3 together, so I'd love if they got a reunion BEFORE Falme. Like, I was so excited to hear Min is meant to take him to Cairhien!

17. I do feel like something changes for Lanfear when Rand implies that he loves her. She stops for a moment and reacts to that, and the vibe of the scene shifts afterwards too. Great meta on the subject here: https://moghedien.tumblr.com/post/727929706072227841/1-it-immediately-sets-up-the-threat-of-going-up and I pretty much agree completely. This is where her true obsession with RAND as LTT was born. She just got everything that she wanted and then it was stolen from her.

Episode 5 next week! So excited!

Looking forward to seeing Lanfear unleashed in the next episode! The saa in her eyes was just... yes. Such a good decision for them to treat TDO's resurrection of his Chosen this way, I think, so that we can keep these spectacular actors. We're gonna get info from Moiraine about the Forsaken next episode, it sounds like, which is exciting.

We also are going to get AVIENDHA! So excited about this. She looks amazing in the trailer. She sounds amazing. She is amazing.

This is also when we're going to get some more insight into the Seanchan as a whole (Loial is with Ishamael and Suroth in the trailer), I suspect.

The other probable important event about next episode is, uh, gonna be more trauma for one of our characters, though. Lots more trauma. So far, most (definitely not all!) of Egwene's trauma has been "horrible things keep happening to the people I care about" (Nynaeve's assumed death; Perrin being tortured in front of her; Rand's assumed death; Nynaeve's assumed death again this season) but now her trauma will include "a horrible thing is happening to me". It might be the 'cliffhanger' of the episode; Egwene getting taken as damane. Since it looks like we're spending some time in the Ways with Liandrin & the Wondergirls first. Or it might happen earlier. I will brace myself!

[otiskeene]

The Impact Of AI On Networking

Quantum Networks, a dynamic organization in a fast-paced city, was struggling to manage its increasingly complex network. Frequent outages and difficult troubleshooting left the IT team stretched thin.

That’s when Olivia Cortez, a networking pro, was brought on board. Olivia quickly diagnosed the network issues and offered solutions to streamline the infrastructure. But she had an ace up her sleeve—AI integration. By incorporating AI into their networking system, Quantum Networks could automate routine tasks, detect and resolve issues faster, and improve network performance.

Thanks to AI, Quantum Networks found network management easier than ever—and your business can experience the same transformation.

Want to learn more? Read this article to explore the role of AI in networking!

Imagine a world where your network understands your needs before you even do. This is the potential of AI-powered networking—turning slow, manual processes into smart, automated solutions. Picture a self-healing network where problems are fixed before you notice them, and security that’s as solid as a fortress. That’s the future AI is bringing to networking.

AI will soon push the boundaries of what enterprise networks can do, making them smarter and more efficient.

In this article, we’ll explore how AI is changing networking operations. But first, let’s take a quick look at the latest market trends. Spoiler: AI is already making an impact!

AI’s Impact on Networking

AI is helping businesses get a clearer picture of their networks and freeing IT teams to focus on higher-level strategies. Let’s see how AI is transforming enterprise networks. (Don’t miss our list of top networking trends for 2024!)

Network Automation: AI can automate the setup and management of devices, eliminating the need for manual configuration and making IT teams’ lives easier.

Predictive Maintenance: AI can identify potential network issues before they happen, allowing businesses to perform maintenance and avoid system crashes.

Enhanced Security: AI monitors network activity and detects suspicious behavior, providing early warnings of potential threats and safeguarding the network.

Traffic Optimization: AI helps manage data flow efficiently, preventing slowdowns and ensuring smooth network performance.

Edge Computing & Distributed AI: AI can operate across multiple devices, processing data where it’s needed most, reducing latency, and optimizing network resources.

Network Monitoring: AI offers real-time insights into network health and performance, allowing IT teams to act quickly to address any issues.

Challenges in AI-Driven Networking

Despite its advantages, there are still hurdles to implementing AI in networking:

Data Quality: AI depends on accurate data to make good decisions. Poor data quality can hinder AI’s effectiveness, so businesses must invest in cleaning and preparing their data.

Interoperability: AI must integrate with various devices and systems. Lack of compatibility can cause network disruptions and costly repairs.

Security & Privacy: AI models require access to sensitive network data, raising concerns about privacy and security. Strong safeguards are essential to protect against cyber threats.

Final Thoughts

AI is revolutionizing how networks are managed, automating tasks, boosting security, and ensuring smooth traffic flow. However, businesses must overcome challenges like data quality, integration, and privacy concerns. As AI becomes an integral part of networking, the future looks bright—are you ready to embrace it?

[colorfulenthusiastballoon]

How roboticists are thinking about generative AI

The topic of generative AI comes up frequently in my newsletter, Actuator. I admit that I was a bit hesitant to spend more time on the subject a few months back. Anyone who has been reporting on technology for as long as I have has lived through countless hype cycles and been burned before. Reporting on tech requires a healthy dose of skepticism, hopefully tempered by some excitement about what can be done.

This time out, it seemed generative AI was waiting in the wings, biding its time, waiting for the inevitable cratering of crypto. As the blood drained out of that category, projects like ChatGPT and DALL-E were standing by, ready to be the focus of breathless reporting, hopefulness, criticism, doomerism and all the different Kübler-Rossian stages of the tech hype bubble.

Those who follow my stuff know that I was never especially bullish on crypto. Things are, however, different with generative AI. For starters, there’s a near universal agreement that artificial intelligence/machine learning broadly will play more centralized roles in our lives going forward.

Smartphones offer great insight here. Computational photography is something I write about somewhat regularly. There have been great advances on that front in recent years, and I think many manufacturers have finally struck a good balance between hardware and software when it comes to both improving the end product and lowering the bar of entry. Google, for instance, pulls off some truly impressive tricks with editing features like Best Take and Magic Eraser.

Sure, they’re neat tricks, but they’re also useful, rather than being features for features’ sake. Moving forward, however, the real trick will be seamlessly integrating them into the experience. With ideal future workflows, most users will have little to no notion of what’s happening behind the scenes. They’ll just be happy that it works. It’s the classic Apple playbook.

Generative AI offers a similar “wow” effect out the gate, which is another way it differs from its hype cycle predecessor. When your least-tech-savvy relative can sit at a computer, type a few words into a dialogue field and then watch as the black box spits out paintings and short stories, there isn’t much conceptualizing required. That’s a big part of the reason all of this caught on as quickly as it did — most times when everyday people get pitched cutting-edge technologies, it requires them to visualize how it might look five or 10 years down the road.

With ChatGPT, DALL-E, etc., you can experience it firsthand right now. Of course, the flip side of this is how difficult it becomes to temper expectations. Much as people are inclined to imbue robots with human or animal intelligence, without a fundamental understanding of AI, it’s easy to project intentionality here. But that’s just how things go now. We lead with the attention-grabbing headline and hope people stick around long enough to read about machinations behind it.

Spoiler alert: Nine times out of 10 they won’t, and suddenly we’re spending months and years attempting to walk things back to reality.

One of the nice perks of my job is the ability to break these things down with people much smarter than me. They take the time to explain things and hopefully I do a good job translating that for readers (some attempts are more successful than others).

Once it became clear that generative AI has an important role to play in the future of robotics, I’ve been finding ways to shoehorn questions into conversations. I find that most people in the field agree with the statement in the previous sentence, and it’s fascinating to see the breadth of impact they believe it will have.

For example, in my recent conversation with Marc Raibert and Gill Pratt, the latter explained the role generative AI is playing in its approach to robot learning:We have figured out how to do something, which is use modern generative AI techniques that enable human demonstration of both position and force to essentially teach a robot from just a handful of examples. The code is not changed at all. What this is based on is something called diffusion policy. It’s work that we did in collaboration with Columbia and MIT. We’ve taught 60 different skills so far.

Last week, when I asked Nvidia’s VP and GM of Embedded and Edge Computing Deepu Talla why the company believes generative AI is more than a fad, he told me:I think it speaks in the results. You can already see the productivity improvement. It can compose an email for me. It’s not exactly right, but I don’t have to start from zero. It’s giving me 70%. There are obvious things you can already see that are definitely a step function better than how things were before. Summarizing something’s not perfect. I’m not going to let it read and summarize for me. So, you can already see some signs of productivity improvements.

Meanwhile, during my last conversation with Daniela Rus, the MIT CSAIL head explained how researchers are using generative AI to actually design the robots:It turns out that generative AI can be quite powerful for solving even motion planning problems. You can get much faster solutions and much more fluid and human-like solutions for control than with model predictive solutions. I think that’s very powerful, because the robots of the future will be much less roboticized. They will be much more fluid and human-like in their motions. We’ve also used generative AI for design. This is very powerful. It’s also very interesting, because it’s not just pattern generation for robots. You have to do something else. It can’t just be generating a pattern based on data. The machines have to make sense in the context of physics and the physical world. For that reason, we connect them to a physics-based simulation engine to make sure the designs meet their required constraints.

This week, a team at Northwestern University unveiled its own research into AI-generated robot design. The researchers showcased how they designed a “successfully walking robot in mere seconds.” It’s not much to look at, as these things go, but it’s easy enough to see how with additional research, the approach could be used to create more complex systems.

“We discovered a very fast AI-driven design algorithm that bypasses the traffic jams of evolution, without falling back on the bias of human designers,” said research lead Sam Kriegman. “We told the AI that we wanted a robot that could walk across land. Then we simply pressed a button and presto! It generated a blueprint for a robot in the blink of an eye that looks nothing like any animal that has ever walked the earth. I call this process ‘instant evolution.’”

It was the AI program’s choice to put legs on the small, squishy robot. “It’s interesting because we didn’t tell the AI that a robot should have legs,” Kriegman added. “It rediscovered that legs are a good way to move around on land. Legged locomotion is, in fact, the most efficient form of terrestrial movement.”

“From my perspective, generative AI and physical automation/robotics are what’s going to change everything we know about life on Earth,” Formant founder and CEO Jeff Linnell told me this week. “I think we’re all hip to the fact that AI is a thing and are expecting every one our jobs, every company and student will be impacted. I think it’s symbiotic with robotics. You’re not going to have to program a robot. You’re going to speak to the robot in English, request an action and then it will be figured out. It’s going to be a minute for that.”

Prior to Formant, Linnell founded and served as CEO of Bot & Dolly. The San Francisco-based firm, best known for its work on Gravity, was hoovered up by Google in 2013 as the software giant set its sights on accelerating the industry (the best-laid plans, etc.). The executive tells me that his key takeaway from that experience is that it’s all about the software (given the arrival of Intrinsic and Everyday Robots’ absorption into DeepMind, I’m inclined to say Google agrees).

[theggning]

I Hate the Alternate Ending of Blind Betrayal, and Here's Why!

DISCLAIMER THE FIRST: Massive spoilers for Fallout 4 abound. This post discusses Blind Betrayal, a quest with suicide as a heavy theme. Content warning applies.

DISCLAIMER THE SECOND: This post discusses cut OFFICIAL content from Fallout 4 that has since been repurposed into multiple mods. I am not criticizing any modders or their implementations of this content. Mods are fun and people can enjoy whatever the hell kind of game experience they want with whatever mods they want.

I am ONLY interested in discussing the original cut content as Bethesda had written it, and how it would have impacted the story and lore of Fallout 4.

So, yeah, it seems there was originally going to be another way to conclude Blind Betrayal (BB).

As described in this Kotaku article (citing this post by Tumblr user tentacle-explosion,) there are unused audio files of Danse’s dialogue that show an alternate ending to his pivotal quest. These lines are the only evidence we have of this ending (suggesting that it was cut fairly early on, as no other actors/characters seem to have recorded for it.)

From what we can tell, in this alternate ending of BB, Danse comes up with a possible way out of the sticky situation re: his identity as a synth. According to the Brotherhood Litany, he is able to challenge Maxson’s authority as Elder via combat. If you agree to this idea, you go with Danse to challenge Maxson. The Paladin and the Elder duel one another, Danse wins, and Maxson dies. Then Danse names the Sole Survivor the new Elder-- or with a hard charisma check, you’re able to convince Danse to take the job himself. It is unknown how the main plot would have progressed beyond this point, as there is no other evidence of what being (or influencing) the Elder would have been like or what choices it would have given you.

There is understandable disappointment in learning that this ending was cut. Choices in games are great, and it could have been fun to have multiple different options for how to resolve the quest. In many gaming circles, people complain that this theoretical ending is superior to the one we got and shouldn’t have been axed. The Kotaku article calls it a “way better” ending, and you’ll see many players lamenting that it wasn’t implemented, saying Bethesda was bad at writing for cutting it, etc.

So why did Bethesda get rid of the Elder ending of BB?

In December 2020, after the Fallout 4 Cast Reunion, Danse’s voice actor Peter Jessop answered questions in a private signing session on his Instagram. Peter Jessop is an extremely kind and gracious man, an avid gamer, and a huge fan of Fallout. During the stream, he reflected on the alternate ending and remembered recording the lines, but stated the content was ultimately cut because Bethesda decided it was lore-breaking.

Peter Jessop is right. Bethesda was right. The Elder ending of BB is a bunch of dumb nonsense. It sucks, I hate it, and I’m glad they got rid of it. And now I’m going to tell you why!

SIDENOTE: King Shit of Fuck Mountain

There is no wrong way to play a single-player video game. If you are having fun, then you are accomplishing the task for which the game was made. Good for you! Play it on easy. Play it on hard. Mod it. Speedrun it. Make up an intricate roleplaying scenario. Perform “challenge” runs. Kill everybody you see. Ignore the story and run around collecting wheels of cheese. Games are meant to be fun and there is nothing wrong with enjoying a game however you damn well please. This is especially true for RPGs like Fallout, which are designed with player freedom in mind.

There is an RPG playstyle I like to call King Shit of Fuck Mountain: a naked power fantasy in which your protagonist is the most powerful person ever, even beyond normal RPG plot significance. Through brute strength, incredible charisma, or having completed tons of quests for world-breaking artifacts and weapons, your character wields godlike influence, able to control people, factions, and the fabric of the world itself. A game enables KSoFM gameplay when it allows the player limitless freedom to gain as much power as they like with zero consequences to plot or storytelling.

A great example of this is the Dragonborn in The Elder Scrolls V: Skyrim. If the player chooses to pursue every questline in the game, one single person can become Harbinger of the Companions, Archmage of the College of Winterhold, Listener of the Dark Brotherhood, Nightingale and Guildmaster of the Thieves’ Guild, hero of the Imperial/Stormcloak army, the chosen one of like, 11 different Daedric princes, a bard, a Blade, and otherwise just, absurdly goddamn powerful in completely unrealistic ways. And that’s not counting DLCs. A fully-kitted-out Dragonborn is King Shit of Fuck Mountain.

There is absolutely nothing wrong with playing KSoFM if you like to. But I’m not a big fan of this style, personally. Sure, my first Skyrim character became KSoFM while I was figuring out the game, but after my first playthrough I preferred my characters become coherent figures in the story of the world. I pick one or two character traits and things that my Dragonborn is good at, focus on them, and make them part of some overall story. My honorable Imperial paladin werewolf is in the Companions, and hunts vampires on principle. My Argonian sneaky archer is a gleeful thief, but would never jive with the College or the Dark Brotherhood. I like creating protagonists who fit into these settings immersively. I don’t care about power fantasies or being in charge. I don’t WANT my character to be all-powerful, because that ruins my immersion and my little story.

Additionally, in a plot-driven story-focused game like Fallout, KSoFM tears the narrative apart. Skyrim is fairly light on story, so the Dragonborn can be the leader of the Companions and the Dark Brotherhood and whatever other factions without any of them noticing or caring. But FO4’s themes, faction drama, and the main thrust of the plot don’t work at all if the Sole Survivor is able to become too powerful or too influential. The Sole Survivor cannot become the leader of every faction, solve every problem, or eliminate every inconvenient bend of the conflict because it makes the lore of the entire setting implode. Thus, the game forces you to choose between factions. You cannot be with the Minutemen and the Nuka-World Raiders. You cannot be with the Railroad and the Institute. And you cannot become Elder of the Brotherhood of Steel.

So if you’re the kind of person who loves playing KSoFM, if you like plots that your character can “solve” with relative ease, or if you just think it would be super cool for your Sole to become Elder regardless of surrounding storytelling, then you might think the Elder ending sounds super cool. You are absolutely allowed to disagree with me here. Install all the mods and write all the fic and have all the headcanons you like. I respect that. There is no wrong way to enjoy a single-player video game. Have fun!

But if you’re a big nitpicky pedantic lore nerd like me, a fan of cohesive storytelling, or if you just want to hear how the Elder ending of BB absolutely fucking ruins Maxson, Danse, the Brotherhood of Steel, and the entire plot of FO4 from a narrative perspective, read on!

1. The Synth Thing

The Elder ending requires the stupid plot contrivance of the BoS forgetting about Danse’s synthhood.

One of the biggest problems with the BoS as an institution is their strict and dogmatic beliefs, which include a widespread dislike of non-human species. Perhaps more than any other non-humans, the BoS hates synths. Synths are, in their eyes, machines given free will, a violation of the sanctity of human life and the ultimate example of technology run amok. To them, synths are not sympathetic, they are not slaves, and they are not victims of circumstance. They are weapons that left unchecked will destroy all of humanity for a second time. Synths are anathema to everything the BoS stands for, and finding out that one of their most beloved and trusted Paladins is one is an earth-shattering blow to their integrity and sense of security.

It is completely absurd that the BoS would allow a synth within their ranks, particularly as they are waging war against the Institute, who created synths in the first place. It is even MORE absurd that they’d allow one to influence their Elder, or even worse, to become Elder. It completely undermines their mission in the Commonwealth, and the core tenets of their extremely rigid beliefs. No matter the Elder, no matter the Litany or obscure BoS law, no matter how valuable the Sole Survivor is as a soldier or how much influence they wield. Danse is a synth. He’s the enemy. He is physically the embodiment of everything they hate.

Not only wouldn’t they trust a synth in general, but the BoS specifically believes that Danse is an infiltrator for the Institute. Even Danse believes that he is a danger, that the Institute may be able to take control of him and use him as a weapon. Sure, we know none of this is actually true, or possible, but the BoS don’t know that. And given how quick they are to order Danse dead without even the possibility of surrender, I don’t think there’s any charisma in the world that’s going to convince them otherwise.

According to Peter Jessop, this, ultimately, is the reason why the Elder ending was cut. He talks about it around the 11:30 timestamp in his Instagram stream, linked above:

“We recorded an ending where you keep Danse alive and you take over the Brotherhood. But there was a question of content… there’s no way the Brotherhood, once they knew he was a synth, would let him be even the right hand of the person in charge.”

Bethesda correctly recognized the incredible narrative contrivance for the BoS to shrug off the reason they’re trying to execute Danse in the first place. Whatever other beefs I have with this ending conceptually, they all come in second to just what a big dumb leap it is to get beyond this first and most important problem.

2. The Complete Death of Conflict

The Elder ending of BB destroys the conflict of the quest, and potentially the conflict of the entire game.

Greed is a poison. There is no such thing as a perfect ideal or a perfect organization. Power corrupts. Humanity has the choice to build back better. War never changes. The Fallout games are full of themes, depicted by the characters and quests and factions we play out.

Blind Betrayal is rightfully praised as one of the most powerful quests in FO4. Not only is it well-acted, but it puts the player in a very difficult position. The BoS has given you clout and glory and free power armor and lots of firepower, but now you see the price: unquestioning obedience. You are ordered to execute your friend and mentor Danse for the mere fact he is a synth. Are you going to follow that unjust order? Are you willing to give up your principles on command? Or is this where you can no longer stay quiet and stay in line?

To be honest, I’ve always thought the fact you can talk Maxson out of killing Danse but still remain with the BoS in good standing was a cop-out. BB goes 90% of the way to forcing you to choose between a companion and a faction, and then chickens out at the last second to let you have both, if your charisma is high enough.

(I believe this has the fingerprints of Skyrim’s development on it-- Bethesda’s writers got nervous about doing another Paarthurnax choice involving the fan favorite Brotherhood of Steel. That’s right. Danse is the Paarthurnax of Fallout. Frankly, I understand why they chose not to go there, but damn, wouldn’t it have been wild? You want to run with the BoS? Then kill your friend and feel the burn. THIS is what it means to follow orders without question.

As for me, I’d pick Danse every time and sleep soundly without the company of shitty bootlicking dieselpunk LARPers- but I digress.)

Anyway, you know what would have REALLY been a copout? If the game asked you to make a difficult thematic storyline choice, and you solved the problem by just not choosing at all.

You are supposed to feel uncomfortable when Maxson orders you to kill Danse, because the game is telling a story about how it is maybe a bad thing to thoughtlessly follow orders without question. It is asking you to think about what the BoS is, what they are doing, and how they are going to run things, if you choose to let them “win” the Commonwealth. It is pointing out that there is no room for gray in the BoS’ black and white. That a good, loyal man may die because of the way he was made, through no action of his own. That soon, you’ll be killing other people on command. The Railroad. Fleeing Institute synths and scientists. Others, down the line. It all depends on who’s giving the orders. Are you going to follow those orders?

Eesh, that sounds thought-provoking and unpleasant and difficult! Let’s just skip it by killing Maxson and making ourselves the boss. Now we get to tell everybody else what to do!

It’s unknown what powers the Elder ending would have granted the player, or how it would have interacted with the other factions. There is speculation that you’d have been able to ease back on the BoS’ dogmatism, or change some of the later events of the game. For instance, perhaps you could talk the BoS down from attacking the Railroad, sparing popular characters like Glory and Deacon who must die in the normal BoS storyline. Perhaps you could have made the BoS a kinder, gentler faction and directed them to run the way you want them to.

If this was indeed the case, then the Elder ending would not only suck the gravitas out of BB, but torpedo the entire main plot.

If you can get rid of any and all downsides to siding with the BoS, why in the hell would players side with anybody else? With the player given total power, the BoS becomes a perfect faction with no drawbacks, no weaknesses, no tough decisions to be made. Screw slumming it with the Railroad or the Minutemen, let’s take over the BoS. Free power armor and a giant robot! Forget the whole intolerance thing, I hereby proclaim the BoS No Longer Problematic! Now to force all the factions to get along, completely removing all conflict and nuance from the plot!

That’s some real anticlimactic “tell Legate Lanius to go home and then he does it” bullshit right there. King Shit of Fuck Mountain!

Look, it might be nice if there was a perfect path like that to take through the game. It would be cool if our characters could be that powerful and the game was that tailored to our individual choices. On the other hand, “I change all the factions to suit my exact liking” might be a fun idea for a fanfic, but it’s an incredibly boring plot for a video game. “I get to make everything in the world exactly how I want it” is Minecraft, not a story-driven RPG with a complex and intricate plot.

It would be great if complex conflicts could really be solved that easily and effortlessly, but hey, you know what? War never changes.

3. The Assassination of Arthur Maxson (Literal)

Arthur Maxson’s death is too significant and fundamentally disastrous for the Elder ending to make any sense at all.

Hero, villain, leader, monster, tortured soul, brutal dictator, immature twerp, bearded sex hunk. However you personally interpret Arthur Maxson, there is no denying that he is a venerated, popular, beloved figure in the BoS. He is the blood heir of the organization’s founder, a powerful warrior, a brilliant tactician, and a charismatic negotiator. He is responsible for reuniting the East Coast BoS with the Outcasts, leading the new, stronger BoS with a sense of shared purpose. There is a damn good reason his name is Arthur and he named his ship The Prydwen, echoes of King Arthur and the legends of his glorious kingdom of Camelot. Arthur Maxson is so beloved that many view him as a demigod, a messiah sent to lead the BoS into a mighty and prosperous future.

So I’m sure nobody’s going to be upset when some wasteland jackass recruited a month ago stumbles in with a synth, kills him, and takes over his job. Right?

It doesn’t matter that it’s “honorable.” It doesn’t matter that it’s done “by the book” via obscure BoS rules. There is no codex or litany or rule so binding that it’s going to overcome the cult of personality around Maxson. There is no way that the BoS is going to accept the death of Arthur Maxson, a man whose reverence borders on worship, especially not when he is immediately replaced by a wastelander, or a synth.

The death of Arthur Maxson removes the unifying glue that’s been holding the BoS together since mending the rift with the Outcasts. Maxson’s death eliminates the one person that both sides of that conflict agreed could steer the organization in the right direction. Some level heads may try to keep the focus on the mission and the Brotherhood tenets, but Maxson loyalists will never forgive the new Elder for his death, and that amount of passionate righteous anger will not be quelled by appeals to the rules. The new Elder’s war on the Institute is basically over before it begins, when the forces splinter and start infighting over the change in leadership.

And this is if the new Elder lives long enough to actually give any orders. I give them around 24 hours after the duel before some angry Maxson loyalist “accidentally” pulls the trigger and “tragically” empties a clip into their back.

24 seconds, if it’s Elder Danse, the dirty synth abomination.

4. The Assassination of Arthur Maxson (Figurative)

The Elder ending of BB falsely pretends that Arthur Maxson is the biggest and only problem with the BoS.

In the Elder ending, as written, the conflict of BB is considered completely and totally solved by the death of Arthur Maxson. The core problem, that Danse is a synth and considered an enemy by the BoS, has not gone away. But by getting rid of Maxson, this apparently no longer matters. Nobody else is going to take offense to Danse’s nature or protest his presence. Nobody else is going to attack him or try to follow through with Maxson’s prior orders. Nope, that meanybutt guy who gave the order is gone, and everybody else is going to welcome Danse back into the fold like nothing ever happened.

I touched on this a little bit on an ask about Maxson a few weeks back, but a lot of people seem to believe that the FO4 Brotherhood of Steel is the way they are purely because of him. That he is the one making them treat non-humans as second class citizens at best, and enemies to be slaughtered at worst. That it’s his fault the BoS is so vehemently against synths and the Institute. That he is the one influencing their imperialistic tendencies, and treating the Commonwealth like territory to be conquered and people to be ruled over by their betters.

He’s not. That’s the Brotherhood of Steel, guys.

The charitable, altruistic, virtuous BoS that many of us met for the first time in FO3 were outliers. Lyons’ group was literally disowned by the rest of the faction because their kindness to wastelanders had gone so far astray from the “core” tenets. The BoS as a whole has always been exclusive, isolated, and seen themselves as “superior” to the average wastelander. They have long disliked or outright hated non-humans (and even Lyons’ BoS in FO3 use ghouls, feral or not, for “target practice” if they get too close!) The rigid dogmatism of the BoS is not something that Arthur Maxson started, but has always been part of their fabric.

Now, it’s true that Maxson is absolutely going hard on the BoS tenets, and extremely dedicated to upholding them. His BoS are the way they are and act the way they act because he believes that this is the way it should be. Is it possible that a different leader may be a little more flexible? Absolutely. Could a skilled Elder eventually show them the benefits of a softer approach and a more generous worldview? Totally. Is getting rid of Maxson and replacing him going to make that happen overnight, or going to make the rest of the BoS who supported him shrug and follow suit?

Nope.

Blaming Arthur Maxson for everything unsavory about the Brotherhood is unfair to him and also foolishly ignoring the deep, massive problems that are far older than he is-- problems that plenty of its members wholeheartedly believe are not problems at all. Getting rid of Maxson does not make the BoS kinder or gentler. Even pretending Maxson isn’t as personally beloved as he is, any new Elder who steps in and starts trying to fundamentally alter the way the BoS operates and what they believe in is going to face some major, immediate pushback.

Like, a full clip of bullets in the back type of pushback.

In the face if it’s Elder Danse, the godless freak of nature.

5. The Un-Redemption of Paladin Danse

Last, and my personal least favorite!

At first glance, Paladin Danse is a steely jackboot, a die-hard Brotherhood loyalist who fully and firmly believes in their cause. Many immediately dismiss him as a humorless brute, or completely ignore him because they think that’s all there is. But if you spend any time with Danse at all, you’ll notice a sort of weariness in him. He is tired, overworked, and his years of service are starting to weigh on him. He has watched friends, comrades, and mentors die in horrible and gruesome ways, and he suffers from PTSD. Though he has always been told that his own sacrifices, the sacrifices of his brothers and sisters have been” worth it,” he’s starting to question if that’s true.

After telling of the incident where he personally executed his best friend Cutler, who’d been turned into a super mutant, the Sole Survivor is able to console him:

Player Default: You did the right thing. Danse: {Somber} It's what I was taught. I don't know if it was right.

This line is an excellent summary of Danse’s entire character arc. He learns to question whether to believe what the Brotherhood has taught him, or to believe in himself. His gut feelings. His sense of justice and his own ideas of what’s right and wrong.

(In the interest of not turning this into an essay about Danse’s character, I won’t even get into how this also applies to his beliefs about his worth as a person. But keep in mind, that dimension is there, Danse just covers it up by making everything about the Brotherhood.)

During Blind Betrayal, after getting the orders to execute him and hearing Haylen’s plea for mercy, we may expect Danse to be ready to fight back or flee. But when you confront him in the bunker at Listening Post Bravo, he’s compliant and suicidal. Danse is so deeply poisoned by the BoS’ rhetoric that his own feelings or will to live don’t factor into the conversation. He demands that you follow your orders and execute him, because he believes, as the BoS does, that all synths are dangerous and must be destroyed.

Danse: {Stern} Synths can't be trusted. Machines were never meant to make their own decisions, they need to be controlled. Technology that's run amok is what brought the entire world to its knees and humanity to the brink of extinction.

{Confident} I need to be the example, not the exception.

Through various dialogue options, if your charisma is high enough, you are able to talk Danse off the ledge. He is able to consider, at least, that the BoS’ merciless judgment of him is wrong and that what he was taught isn’t right. He is a thinking, feeling, self-aware synth, and that makes him as much a person as any human. Danse is no danger to humanity-- and maybe, most synths aren’t either.

Danse is an example, not an exception.

Later on, if you manage to get him out of BB alive, Danse shows further acceptance of his nature. His approvals about synths begin to soften slightly (or many of them do, at least… it’s not perfect.) He is still struggling with his identity and reconciling it with his former hatred, but his dialogue suggests that he’s on the road to being more open-minded and understanding. Along with this, Danse learns that he has value as a person beyond the Brotherhood. He no longer needs to define himself with BoS beliefs or judge himself by how useful he is to them. He learns that he is worth caring about, worth being friends with or being loved because of who he is-- not what he is, in any regard.

[SIDENOTE: Many players, myself included, are frustrated that Danse’s arc leaves off sort of midstream there. Due to the open-ended nature of the game, we don’t get a real conclusion to his arc-- even though much of his idle dialogue doesn’t change and he still espouses pro-BoS sentiments ( an unfortunate by-product of writing for a video game) there is every indication that he’s started down the right path, but understandably has a ways to go.

Also, Peter Jessop agrees with us.]

Meanwhile, in the Elder ending, Danse doesn’t get a redemption. His entire character arc, actually, hits the skids and does a total 180.

He never leaves the BoS. So scratch the need for Danse to ever think about himself as separate from them. He never needs to question what they’ve taught him or whether they’re right or wrong. He never needs to find any worth in himself beyond his use to the BoS. Why would he? He might be the Elder. The BoS is all he needs to care about anymore. The BoS is all he ever needs to be, ever again.

And I think, most horrifying of all, this Danse never needs to change his mind about synths. On the contrary, one of the surviving dialogue files includes Danse’s speech to reassure the rest of the BoS of his stance:

Danse: I want to make one thing clear to everyone. This body might be synth, but my heart and mind belong to the Brotherhood. The Institute is still a tremendous threat to the Commonwealth. They possess technologies that need to be confiscated or destroyed. And even if that means I have to pull the trigger on my own kind, I’m willing to make that sacrifice.

Elder ending Danse doesn’t grow more understanding on the nature of synths. He doesn’t accept that synths are people, or anything more than technology run amok. He won’t even accept that for himself. Elder Maxson wasn’t wrong about synths-- they’re the enemy and they need to be destroyed.

But, see, he was wrong about Danse. It’s okay for Danse to exist in spite of his nature. It’s okay for him to never fully accept his own personhood, and to outright deny it to his kind. Because his body is a machine, but he’s different from the rest because his heart and mind belong to the Brotherhood.

He’s the exception, not the example.

CONCLUSION:

The Elder ending of Blind Betrayal is dumb, contrived, stakeless, character-derailing powergaming crap at its finest and I’ll happily dance on its grave.

People give Bethesda a lot a shit for their writing-- whether it be stuff they left out, stuff they left in, or stuff that they never, ever could have made work due to the limitations of writing for a video game. Plenty of it is well-deserved, or at least worth a discussion. But from the minute I found out about its existence, I have always wanted to extend a congratulations to Bethesda for cutting the alternate Elder ending of Blind Betrayal. It was a good choice. A very good choice to cut a very dumb plot that would have fundamentally altered the story they were telling, and characters that I’ve grown to love. I think the writers deserve some credit and a hearty handshake for the wisdom of this decision.

Now as for why Nick Valentine isn’t romanceable--

[burnedbyshoto]

I wanted to make myself like the ravine

— There are plenty of things that Hawks knows about, but there are few he knows none about. A journey of how Hawks navigates the meaning of the word love. 

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pairing: hawks (takami keigo) x fem!reader

warnings: recent manga spoilers, future!au, alcohol consumption, fem!reader

word count: 6,819

a/n: this is for the pocuties valentines day collab! rhank you for letting me join! inspired by the poem to the title of this fic!

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A G A P E

—

Hawks is one of the fastest men in the world.

It’s not a brag; it’s the truth.

A cold, hard, damning truth.

Hawks is a Pro Hero with the power, skill, and finesse required to take the fall for the entire country. He is someone who is loved by all, who thrives off of the appreciation and the cheers, but he knows — he understands — he’s expendable. He’s a tool—an object seconds from being put to rest.

There are many things that Hawks knows; he’s been training to be a hero since he was in his very childhood. Blindfolded, tested and conditioned to be the ideal hero, the perfect pawn.

Hawks is no idiot, and he will never deny that often times that he isn’t sure what he is feeling.

Emotions are weird for him. Feelings are oversimplified in everything he was taught, yet disgustingly really and oddly interfering the second he had set foot into the spotlight. He was used to the cold, the people who would view him as a specimen, experiment 20493, codenamed: Fierce Winged Hawks. The only emotions he understood was apathy, seriousness, anger, resentment, bitterness, disappointment, and relief. When finally, finally, the Hero Commission broke his wings, his spine, and his mind, the small boy so eager to be a Hero ultimately nothing but a soldier, ready to follow commands to the T.

Hawks has only heard of love from the blurry, unclear memories of his childhood. His mother muttering how she had no love for him to be taking care of him as he did, or his father saying he could never love him. Love was foreign, strange, alien to him. Even when he was eighteen and finally given a bit of freedom from the chains the Hero Commission bound him in was expressed out of love. But he was put into the cage that granted him the ability to spread his stiff wings; love made no sense.

He saw lovers making out in alleyways, and he furrowed his eyebrows, wondering just why anyone would want to kiss in the smelly, dark, virus-infected areas. He saw his colleagues come in looking dazed, refreshed, reborn, yelling loudly, and singing poetry about their love for some other person they met just yesterday. He also couldn’t ignore the days, weeks, months later when they would rearrive with red-rimmed eyes, swollen eyes, and a tremor to their voice.

Love seemed… awful to Hawks.

Love was a deception of brain chemicals. Nothing more than your mind bending, flipping, and twisting to make something that made absolutely no sense make sense. 

Hawks had expressed that one day to a sidekick of his, his barriers and walls crumbling away because he had been on a stakeout for five days straight now. The world that could never keep up with him was numbing his brain.

“Well, that’s romantic and flirtatious love for ya,” his sidekick explained with a halfhearted shrug. It seemed that he both agreed and disagreed with what Hawks had to say. “They’re amazing loves, don’t get it wrong, and they definitely don’t make sense, but they’re loves not meant to last.”

Hawks blinked.

“What?”

His sidekick chuckled, hands rubbing at his eyes as he peered out the window again, his sullen eyes looking even more tired.

“Have you never learned the different types of love before, Hawks?” the sidekick teased as much as he was curious. “I figured a pro as popular and smart as you are would know the different types of love.”

Hawks feathers fluttered in his inability to keep his lack of knowledge to himself.

“I don’t.”

“Wow, finally something Hawks isn’t aware of!” the sidekick laughed, and his hand opened his phone, fingers hitting the screen before shoving the device into Hawks’ chest. “I’m sure you’ll find that you can understand at least one love.”

Hawks grabbed the phone, head cocking to the side in his curiosity as he scrolled down through the phone.

There were eight different types.

Eight different ones that he could have experienced within his then twenty-one years, and he found himself unable to look away from one.

Agape: universal, selfless love

“Hawks, they’re moving!” the sidekick squawked, and Hawks handed over the phone, and with nothing on his mind, burst out the window, ready to take down this organization.

Hawks had to admit that later that night, when he was finally able to sleep in his own bed, he felt selfless love. It was for the people of Japan. The many citizens who needed his help and the heroes of the country who rose to the demands of the job. Maybe it wasn’t the type of love depicted in anything he’s ever read or watched before, but that was okay. It was love.

The love he has for the citizens is enough to keep his head afloat.

This is the only love he needs in his life right now, the only love that matters.

But he’s no longer twenty-one, he’s twenty-five, and the wings on his back that feel practically invisible to him, are hurting. His back is in pain, his quirk almost gone, save for the smallest, insignificant feathers perching from the stumps of what was his beginnings of a wingspan. It still burns, phantom singes and phantom heat whenever he thinks about his nearly gone, never to be grown again, wings.

“Well, Hawks, you already know that this is going to happen,” comes the cold voice of one of the board members of the Hero Commission. A man who had practically raised (see managed) him. 

Today was the end of Hawks life, more or less.

“AFO, Shigaraki Tomura, and the well-known former members of the League of Villains were finally stopped,” Hawks speaks with a nod. He knows, even though he could not be a soldier, he had been around to see the young UA students, Endeavors Interns, bring them to justice.

The biggest names of evil were dead, and Hawks already knew he was over.

To be fair, he was glad it was over.

But still, it hurt to hear the indifference in his voice, the apathy, the tedium.

“Operation: Fierce Wings - Hawks is officially over.”

“I could’ve figured that one out pretty easily,” Hawks jests, unable to show the way his heart twisted and withered under the knowledge that he was no longer a hero. His love, his agape, for the people were still there. Still, just as he recognized in his colleagues who were experiencing the different forms of love, it didn’t matter how much love you held for someone, something, for the innocent, helpless people…

Life takes, it destroys, and love doesn’t seem to have a chance.

“Thank you for your twenty years of service. I hope you find the freedom you had been looking for.”

P H I L A U T I A

It’s been a week.

Seven days, twenty-one hours, sixteen minutes, and thirty-four seconds since Hawks was fired (see Honorably Discharged) as a Pro Hero.

Hawks has always felt that the world moved oh so slowly behind him. It had been his wish that heroes be able to relax, laze around because society had evolved enough that criminals knew better, were treated better, and could integrate into a truly peaceful society.

It had been his dream.

But right now, he was bored.

B o r e d.

“Fuck, I don’t care,” Hawks grumbled, face smooshing into a pillow as he watched the Netflix Series Bridgerton drone on the screen. “Dump his ass.”

His apartment, it was safe to say, was a mess. There were cups, bowls, plates, and chopsticks everywhere. His hair was ruffled, stringy, held back by a hair clip he had stolen from Miruko. His beard was nearly fully grown in, and there were bags under his eyes despite the fact he was sleeping for more hours of the day than staying awake. He was sore, tired, bored.

So bored.

He didn’t think being bored was going to suck this much, going to hurt him like this.

Fuck.

“Open the damn door, bird boy!” came a sharp scream and powerful kick from the front door.

Hawks glared at the door, the tiniest of feathers he had been able to regrow, trying to pathetically open the lock on the door. A sheen layer of sweat pushed against his forehead, and Hawks grunted, trying to lift the heavy lock.

BAM.

The door swung open, forcefully kicked open by none other than Pro Hero Miruko.

“Yo!” Miruko waved, lips pulled in a fierce grin as she entered through the broken doorway with nothing but a bag of unknown items. “I figured you were here!”

“...you broke my door,” Hawks pointed out, eyes narrowed as dust and destruction danced within the air.

“You took too long,” Miruko breezed, slamming her plastic bag on the kitchen island. “It’s a fucking rats nest in here, birdbrain; I thought you were somewhat organized?”

Hawks groaned loudly, sinking further into his couch as Miruko began reorganizing his kitchen area — dumping the dirty dishes into the sink and throwing things away in fast, practiced skill. “Life is too boring, and I’m too bored to do anything about all of the mess,” Hawks exaggerates partially, hand twisting and dancing as he speaks. “Thanks for cleaning up the mess.”

“I’m not cleaning up your damn mess, birdbrain,” Miruko barks out a laugh, her hands slamming against the now, somehow, clean surface. “I’m just making my life easier!”

Hawks looked over the top of the couch with a semi impressed, semi uncaring look and shrugged.

“You seem to have a great handle over those robot limbs now,” he points out.

Sure enough, Miruko had two bionic limbs, limbs that she had finally managed to work into a fighting career. After spending two years on the sideline, relearning how to walk and then fight, she was back on the field.

She was a hero again, despite it all, unlike him.

“Damn right, I’m amazing!” Miruko preened, chest puffed, and bunny tail wagging excitedly. “But anyway, I figured your dumbass would be depressed, so I brought you some shit.”

Hawks watched with a curious gaze as Miruko quickly hopped once from where she was in the kitchen to a place on his couch, landing on Hawks' legs unintentionally.

“OW!”

“Look at what Rumi brought you,” Miruko laughed, slapping Hawks on the back as he cradled his legs. “And yes, I just referred to myself in the third person, so shush.”

Hawks grumbled, lips in a half pout, half frown.

Taking the opaque bag from Miruko, Hawks pulled out the many items in the bag.

Carrots, a KFC gift card, Korean skincare products, a movie about Miruko’s recovery process, and a 1001 Things to Do (A Book on Finding Self Love).

Hawks stares at the book.

“The perfect items for a self-care, self-love spa day,” Miruko nods, once again slapping Hawks on the back. “Some old sidekick of yours told me that you don’t know what love is, so I figured that I would help teach you the most important one! Self-love! Truly the hardest one to master, in my opinion, but damn if it isn’t a good one.”

Hawks feels transfixed almost, unable to look away from the book as Miruko slaps him on the back yet again as she moves to leave. He hears her yelling about forwarding the bill to fix his door to her, her agency would pay for the damage, and how she’s off to train with some bunny hopping boy from UA.

Opening the book, Hawks looked at the number one thing to do on the book and sighed.

#1: Look in a mirror and name five things you LOVE about yourself.

Well, it’s not like he has anything better to do.

-

Hawks is on number thirteen (Stand at a bridge and scream into the void about the things you love at dusk) when he realizes that maybe… he doesn’t love himself. 

It is without saying that he loves people; agape, after all, is the only love type that made sense to him, but philautia, self-love, was way lost on him. Objectives 2 - 12 on the book were entertaining to do! They had Hawks going outside of his house much more than his week trapped indoors, and for the first time since the day his wings had been burnt off, his house was spotless.

But it was clear to Hawks that he didn’t feel love for himself.

Whenever he tried to convince himself that he should love himself, that there were terrific qualities in himself, he thought back to the dirty, burnt room. 

“I still gotta protect their happiness!” the phantom in his mind screamed, the broken sob collected in his throat.

Hawks shivered, unable to let himself recognize the pain and hurt in the phantom's eyes, or the way that he now wished he had never done that… why had he done that?

What a mess…

The small chirping of Hawks phone interrupts his morose thoughts. He looks at the screen, eyebrows raising in slight mirth and caution as none other than his former intern was currently calling him.

“Tsukuyomi-kun!” Hawks laughs into the receiver, the weight of his past for a moment forgotten. “How are ya?!”

“Hello, Hawks-sensei,” Tokoyami’s calm tone fills Hawks' ears. “I was calling because I have a request to make.”

“Name it,” Hawks spoke immediately, slouching against the cold bars of the bridge, eyes closing as he tried to relax. “You need a letter of rec or something?”

“Nothing of the sort, actually,” Tokoyami says. “We third-year students are graduating in a few days; I was inquiring if you would attend on my behalf.”

“Wow, Tsukuyomi-kun, no need to be so formal with me!” Hawks laughed delightedly, his hands carting through his feather-like hair, “I’d love to come and watch you guys graduate! Is it true that the finger-smashing boy is the valedictorian?”

“That would be false, Midoriya-kun has nothing on Yaoyorozu-san.”

“What a bummer, you’d think he’d be first after how he helped win the war for us, huh?”

“You’ll find that Yaoyorozu-san is highly gifted and undeterred by most things,” Tokoyami sighed. For a moment, Hawks chuckled at the melancholy tone to his old intern's voice. It sounded as if he had been striving with great difficulty to reach the highest marks as well. 

Hawks began speaking to his rather odd ex-intern with great curiosity with the blanket of the night surrounding him. His defenses and thoughts whittling away the more they spoke, the later it got in the morning.

“Ne, Tokoyami-kun, I have a question?”

“Concerning what?”

Hawks pauses, his brows furrowing as he looks up into the still dark sky, “Do you know how to love yourself?”

Silence.

Had it been anyone else, Hawks would have panicked at the lack of noise. Still, his already less than chatty intern typically took to not speaking much to begin with.

“Self-love is difficult,” Tokoyami finally spoke, his words slow, carefully chosen. “We humans are flawed; we all have demons. Most of the time, we only recognize and see our demons, oftentimes forgetting that being human also means being weak and at times immoral. Loving oneself is a hard task because we know ourselves better than any other. It’s a work in progress for everyone to love oneself, it's a type of love by the Ancient Greeks, but it’s not always everpresent. One must accept all flaws to love oneself, and remember that flaws don’t make you less, even if you believe otherwise.”

“...wow, I asked for a sentence answer, and you gave me a speech. Who would’ve known you were so in check with your emotions, Tokoyami!”

“You knew, I’ve already revealed this side of me before. You laughed last time too.”

Hawks finds himself home thirty minutes later, and he stares up at the ceiling, fingers drumming against his chest.

Self-love… it seems like an ever-evolving type of love, but it’s there. He knows that even if he has regrets and hardships and things he hates about himself, deep down, self-love exists and that it will exist. 

Patience.

Even the fastest man in the world could demonstrate patience.

L U D U S

“What can I get for ya?”

“I have no idea honestly, do you have any recommendations?”

Hawks could say with complete honesty that he felt entirely out of place.

He was at a local bar. The bar was semi-busy today. Most young adults dressed in an arrangement of clothes, each on a different level of soberness as they cheered to this and that. 

Why was he at a bar even though he was slightly uncomfortable? Well, you can blame #73 in the book for that.

(#73: Enter the first bar you find, order a drink, and flirt!)

“What type of liquor do you like? Hard or soft?”

Hawks blinked; he didn’t know.

“Hard?”

The bartender looked a bit unsure of him for a bit before nodding and turning his back to him.

Did hard liquor mean he was going to get an iced drink? He’s never consumed alcohol before.

“Here you go!” the bartender sang, slamming two shot glasses before him. “Two shots of Bacardi.”

“Oh, thank you?” Hawks tilted his head as a small cup of OJ was placed in front of him (“That’s your chaser,” the bartender had laughed). Bringing the small glass shot glass up, Hawks looked around at the throngs of people surrounding the bar and looked at you. You were cheering loudly as you raised your own shot glass in the air with a whoop and, in a fast, fluid motion, brought the shot glass to your mouth and took the liquid down easily. Hawks was definitely unimpressed now; that looked entirely too easy. “Here we go, cheers to me.”

Imitating your own actions, Hawks shot back the liquid in his shot glass, and immediately his entire body tensed.

EW.

NO.

EW.

OH GOD, NO!

Spitting out the sour, bitter, disgusting — dear god, how do you even describe this taste?! — liquid, Hawks, chugged the OJ, his lungs and throat and tongue burning from the shot.

“That was disgusting!” Hawks spat to absolutely no one, his hands covering his mouth as he stared at the other awaiting shot of ‘Bacardi.’ “Why would anyone drink that?!”

“Only madmen drink Bacardi while sober,” a voice joined in on Hawks' one-sided conversation. “Or bitches who are self-sabotagers. Never trust a hoe who says Bacardi is their favorite drink.”

Hawks turned around to see you, the girl he had regrettably underestimated for taking the shot, smiling at him with a not entirely sober look to your face. 

“You look like neither. That and the way you took the shot obviously means that you had no idea what you were drinking.” Hawks continued to stare at you, completely perplexed by your casual conversation, the dress on your body that was twisted a bit, screaming wonders about your level of sobriety. You took to the empty barstool beside him with a grin and a calculating look, “You’re Hawks, right?”

“Yeah, Hawks,” he spoke, his tongue feeling weird in his mouth as he bowed stiffly in his chair. You were beautiful, fuck.

“I’m y/l/n, nice to meet you!” you speak easily, fingers grabbing at his other filled shot glass with a concerned look. “I have a feeling you shouldn’t try to take this other shot.”

“Dying of alcohol definitely isn’t in my vision of ways to go out,” Hawks grins. Pushing through his haze of awkwardness as you shift in the barstool so that you’re now facing him entirely, knees pressed to his thigh. “I’ve never actually drunk before?”

You inhale sharply, your eyes going wide as you break all levels of personal contact that’s acceptable of strangers in Japan and grab his cheeks.

“Alcohol virgin?!” you gasp, the sweet smell of some liquid drafting from your breath. “I’ll teach you everything that I know, don’t worry!”

You let go of his face, neck turning away from him, looking for the bartender to flag him down.

“Don’t you have—?”

“They can wait,” you wave at the bartender before turning back to Hawks with a confident grin on your face. “I have my favorite Pro Hero right beside me; I think they’ll understand.”

“Alright, what is it that I need to know?”

“My full name,” you breeze with a wink. “Y/l/n y/n.”

“A beautiful name.”

“I am a beautiful woman.”

Hawks chuckled good-naturedly, his head nodding in agreement, “I think we were talking about the alcohol, though, not your attraction as a female.”

“All in good time, all in good time,” you laugh, taking to the bartender and ordering two drinks, both of which were entirely foreign to Hawks.

Hawks would not consider himself to be an expert at flirting. He was attractive, a great conversationalist, and did have a type of edge to his words that often seemed playful or a warning, depending on how you looked at it. But it appeared that his natural way of speaking was more than enough to make him flirtatious enough to match the way you spoke to him.

You had introduced him to a single mixed drink, telling him that getting drunk by yourself at a bar typically wasn’t a smart thing, so keep to something with a low alcohol percentage. Just enough to make you loosen up, but not enough that you were incapable of getting home. Hawks liked the way your hand rested on his forearm. How you smiled and laughed at something to show your interest but not at everything to show that you weren’t faking your amusement at what he was saying.

You matched his every word, not backing down from his bluffs. Soon enough, Hawks felt his cheeks warm when he finally looked directly at your smiling face (he wasn’t sure if it was from the alcohol or not). 

Eventually, though, the night ended, and you shimmied off the bar stool as your friends had come to collect you to leave.

“Can I get your number?” you ask, eyes mostly entirely sober as you handed him your phone. “I know you were the man who was just a bit too fast, but I think I can handle that.”

Hawks snorts, his eyes rolling in his amusement, “That was horrible.”

“I’m drunk, I have an excuse!” you exclaim with a pout that quickly turns into a giddy smile as Hawks enters his number to your phone. “Don’t worry though, once I’m sober, I’ll flirt your eyebrows clean off!”

“That sounds painful!” Hawks yells as you wave goodbye, your arms linked with a line of other girls as you leave the bar with teasing laughter and undecipherable words.

It was with you that Hawks realized that he had come to find a new type of love.

Ludus, the love of flirtation and playfulness.

Damn, who would’ve known.

P H I L I A

Hawks was having a pretty bad day.

It wasn’t anything super terrible happening, all things considered. It was a lovely day out; the sun was warm, the sky so blue, and the birds chirping. Nothing on the news to be concerned about and all his precious people were safe.

But it was still a bad day because instead of being out and about with you, his now borderline best friend/girlfriend, who he was stupidly having a crush on, he was stuck at home.

Hawks was sick.

Deliriously, stuffy nose, goopy eyed, chapped lips, and feverish sick.

You: Are you sure you’re fine????

Hawks: Im perfectly okay. Ill go with you to the park next time sorry

You: Thats not what im concerned about stupid!!!!!

Hawks: Bye have fun!

You: I knoW YOURE SICK ASSHOLE

Hawks chuckled, rereading his messages with you.

Blowing his nose for what felt like the umpteenth time, Hawks resumed the movie on the screen that you had recommended him to watch — Disney’s Chicken Little — because it reminded you of him, or something like that. The TV droned on with the movie, and Hawks found it hard to keep focused as the Sandman danced on his head and whispered in his ear.

He hadn’t noticed he had fallen asleep until a loud banging was heard on his door.

Shuffling towards the door, Hawks opened the still slightly broken door with bleary eyes and a stuffy nose.

In front of him was none other than you.

You… with a basket full of things.

“Hi!” you greeted him, pushing past Hawks easily and walking into his apartment. “You look worse than I thought you would be!”

“That's hurtful,” Hawks pouted, closing the door behind you, sneezing, then following after you. “Why are you here? I thought you w-were — achoo — going to the park?”

“I was, but we were supposed to go together to check off number 184, and I wasn’t about to go alone to complete a list meant for you!” you exclaimed, dumping the overfilled basket on the kitchen counter.

“Mm,” Hawks hummed, his voice dry and cracking as he pulled the blanket closer around him. “What’s this?”

“A get well care basket,” you say in an unmistakable like tone; you glance at him, smiling widely, and gesture dramatically to the basket. “Follow along, if you can.”

“Pfft.”

“So first, I have some sleepytime tea; I swear to the gods and back that this tea will cure you and knock you the fuck out,” you say, pulling out the thing on top of the basket and putting it to the side. “Next, we have some tissues because you obviously need them.”

“Hey!”

Hawks watched through red-rimmed eyes as you carefully and thoroughly explained what and why you had brought him. Fuzzy socks, a blanket, his favorite snacks and drinks, medicine, DVD’s to more movies you told him he had to watch, an embarrassing childhood picture of you that he had been wanting and swore he would never expose least he wants to die, more oils for his diffuser, and a signed Endeavor poster he had been wanting.

Safe to say that after he had been drugged up, eating some soup and drinking some tea on the couch, wrapped up in the blanket you had bought him, laying between your legs, Hawks was feeling much, much better. It had been hours since Hawks had coughed or sneezed, and he was talking with you about how Disney movies were being produced less and getting sort of worse with each one. The movie titan slowly losing its ground.

“Okay, it’s almost eleven pm; I have work tomorrow, you are still sick, let's pack it up!” you eventually say during a moment of comfortable silence.

“I can’t believe you have to work,” Hawks sniffled, standing up off the couch so that you could get up. “Seems like a crime.”

“It’s not so bad! Being a celebrity PR manager is a million times easier than a hero PR manager. At least we can help decide what's seen!” you laugh, helping to clean up his living room of the bags of chips and drinks.

“Sure, sure,” Hawks grins, keeping the trashcan open for you so that you could place the trash in. “Thank you.”

Walking you towards the front door, Hawks comes to the sudden and almost alarming realization that he doesn’t want you to leave. He wants you to stay. He thought this was a friendship, and it was one, a good one at that! For about a month now, he had known that there was a type of love he had for you, one of friendship.

It was called philia. 

So why did he want to keep you wrapped up in a hug, to pull you close and press a gentle kiss to your forehead, to your cheek, to your lips?

“—I’ll be back tomorrow to check up on you during my lunch break,” you say, slipping on your shoes as you pull on your jacket. “If you need anything at all, call or text—”

The words on your tongue die immediately when Hawks still slightly chapped lips press against yours. The sick must that was present earlier on the day is no longer there, and you can feel heat and fire bursting from your cells as Hawks pulls away from you.

“I’m sorry,” Hawks breathes out, a small smile on his face, a daze in his eyes that tells you he definitely was not completely sorry. “I couldn’t resist anymore?”

“W-We will talk about that later!” your voice squeaks, your heart hammering in your throat because fucking Hawks kissed you. “If I-I get sick, I’ll rip out your eyebrows!”

“Will you go out with me? On a date?” Hawks continues on, leaning on the doorframe you’ve yet to pass.

“...I hate you, yes,” you warble, hands pressing against your burning face as Hawks grin grows.

“Perfect, I’ll text you,” he allows you to pass through the doorway where you feel both entirely light and giddy yet awkward and mechanical.

“Hawks, I swear, if your stupid kiss got me sick!”

“You’ll rip out my eyebrows,” Hawks laughs, waving a hand. “If you rip out my eyebrows, I demand a kiss for every hair you pluck out.”

He laughs at how he can basically see the heat rising from your ears as you squawk and run away.

Looking at #184 of his book, Hawks smiles as he crosses it out (#184: Ask out your crush!) and sighs. Philia was love between friends, but it was also, if he remembered correctly, one of affection. And it was without saying that he held a deep affection for you.

E R O S

As much as Hawks claimed he knew about the world, he was as clueless as a newborn baby when it came to the topic of love. Reasoning? Well, today marked a year of being together. It had been a year since Hawks had kissed you when he was snot-nosed kissed (you did get sick, by the way, and while you didn’t rip out his eyebrows, Hawks had kissed you plenty in apology), and then took you on a date where you went to a trampoline palace.

He was clumsily romantic. More often than not, he wasn’t actually romantic. Still, the sincere thought and emotions he put into it made his actions seem so thoughtful and sweet.

You’re not sure why you actually believed that on your year anniversary, he was going to plan something for the two of you. So the reaction he had when you showed up on the year anniversary, armed with a bouquet of flowers and a small personal gift for him, Hawks looked deeply confused.

“This is still not bad!” you exclaim, watching as Hawks attempts to redecorate his apartment from the messy bachelor vibe into something of romance. It was easier said than done, especially as your boyfriend had no decorations in his house that wasn’t fanboy or bird material.

“I didn’t realize that one year anniversaries were meant to be out and about!” Hawks yelled back, failing to nail the fairy lights onto the ceilings. “I knew you wanted to do something, but I thought it was going to be like ‘let’s go get some KFC!’ sort of thing!”

“Definitely not,” you laugh, sitting on his couch with the take out food sitting on the table. It had just arrived, and Hawks was still not accepting the lack of romance in his apartment. “But it’s okay, really Hawks! I didn’t tell you, which is entirely my fault! Come on, let's watch something together, eat, and relax!”

Hawks sighed and looked up at the ceiling.

He should have known that one year anniversaries were a big thing in dating too. They sure were in businesses; what a rookie mistake. Not satisfied with the lack of romance in his apartment but also unable to do anything more to it, Hawks sulked over to the couch and sat beside you, grabbing his dinner plate.

“Thanks, dove.”

“You’re most welcome, baby vulture. Thank you for the food!” you grin, breaking the chopsticks and digging in.

The food is eaten with a mirthful conversation, the TV playing the 100 Funniest Hero Fails playing on Youtube. Eventually, the purples and pinks of the sky became dark.

Night is here.

Hawks went from sitting right beside you to lying on the couch and having you snuggled into his stomach at some point in the night. YouTube is no longer playing Hero Compilation videos. Still, it is now instead showing a chef with a giraffe quirk demonstrating how to make your very own pancake treehouse, no clickbait!

Hawks is transfixed on you, watching the way your eyes sparkle and shine as you stare up at the screen, your lips moving as you give your side commentary, but he can’t hear a thing.

Five weeks ago, on this day, was the day that Hawks realized that the philia love he had for you had evolved once again. It had become one of eros. Romantic, passionate love. He loved you; he loves you. Anything you wanted or needed in the world, Hawks would do anything to give it to you. He had yet to tell you said realization; after all, he needed to make sure it wasn’t some fluke but found himself chickening out each time he wanted to confess.

Gliding his thumb against your cheekbone, Hawks stared adoringly at you, head tilted as you laughed at the video before glancing up at him. It was evident that you hadn’t been expecting him to be staring at you so intensely. As soon as you glanced back at the TV, you snapped right back, curiosity blazing off your gaze.

“What’s up?” you asked, hands pressing to his chest as you lift up a bit. “Do I have something on my face?”

“I love you,” Hawks whispered, the words coming out so much easier than he thought it would. “Y/l/n y/n, I love you.”

Your eyes widen significantly, your jaw dropping as your eyes grow just a bit watery.

Hawks smiles softly, knowing that for so long you had told him you loved him without a single moment where he returned the affection. It hadn’t bothered you. Obviously, you knew why he didn’t say it, but finally hearing him say it seemed to break you just a bit in the best of ways. He kisses you softly, fingers wiping away the single tear that fell.

“I love you,” he repeats.

“I love you too, Hawks,” you blubber, your smile so bright yet wobbling with your heartfelt emotions.

“Takami Keigo,” Hawks corrects. “My name is Takami Keigo.”

Hawks watches as you process his name, and a wet laugh bubbles from your throat as you nod your head, hands reaching behind his neck to pull him close for the first soul-consuming, fiery kiss of the night.

“I love you, Keigo.”

If this wasn’t eros, well, then, Hawks didn’t know what it was.

P R A G M A

two years later, valentines day

Keigo sits on the bed, fingers adjusting the tie around his neck as he stares at you doing your makeup in the bathroom. Your eyes intensely concentrated on your reflection as you painted dark red lips on yourself.

To sum up the last two years in a single, simple phrase, Keigo would say that love now made even less sense to him.

It wasn’t precisely that it made perfect sense before. Some days he still argued and wondered about how love could exist in specific scenarios. Or why, after you stole his final KFC chicken leg he was saving, he could always love you after such betrayal. It made no sense to him, but also made perfect sense, hence the complete confusion.

But it was without saying that as you twirled in your outfit in front of him, a grin plastered so large and lovingly on your features, that it made sense.

How could he not love when he had someone like you.

The walk to the restaurant was perfect; he had even taken a moment to slow dance with you when you came across some performers. Your sweet smile meant just for him made Keigo hum contently as he kissed you gently.

Dinner was amazing. The food rich and luscious, entirely to die for that had the both of you moaning about how great it was before laughing because the waitress definitely heard that. After dinner was over, you and Keigo were now waiting on desserts when he simply grabbed your left hand and slid a simple ring over a very important finger before placing a kiss on your palm.

“I know I was at one point too fast, and maybe I think I was too slow to ask this, but would you like to wake up and have chicken with me every day?” Keigo asked, watching as your face went through a million stages of understanding, processing, internalizing, accepting, and pure emotions.

The kiss was sloppy and wet, the tears streaming down your face beautifully, like diamonds in the dark sky.

It was today that Keigo unlocked the last love he ever thought he would have.

Pragma: committed, enduring love.

[thecottageinthedark]

Locked Tomb sortings-the Tridentarii

So Sorting Hat Chats themselves did a podcast episode about sorting this series, but....they only sorted the two main characters. (Gideon as Badger/Lion, Harrow as Double Badger.) Which...our protag girls are great, yeah, but there’s so many other cool characters! So, these are my thoughts on the Tridentarius twins, and how I Sort them. I’m putting this under a cut, cause the series is not yet complete and here there be spoilers.

Ianthe Tridentarius is a blatant Double Snake. Muir has even specifically said that she’s a female version of the ‘Draco Malfoy in leather pants’ trope. Ianthe cares about herself, she cares about her sister, and she cares about Harrow. That’s the limit of her inner circle. She doesn’t need to dehumanise the people outside it, but she doesn’t care about them either. And when she does care-well, it’s Ianthe herself who says “Love is acquisitive”. Love, for Ianthe Tridentarius, means Mine.

She manipulates. She adapts. She improvises. Harrow, who uses Bird and Badger methods, disapproves of Ianthe’s style of necromancy; she admits Ianthe is a genius (she reverse-engineered the lyctoral process without seeing most of the written theorems!) but accuses her of being “a kind of necromantic gymnast, doing showy tricks without concern for the theory”. That’s very much a Built Secondary reaction to seeing an Improvisational Secondary at work and not liking it.

Coronabeth Tridentarius, though? She shares Ianthe’s Snake primary, but her secondary is Badger-and that’s why the two come into conflict.

The culture of the Third House is super heavy on Snake secondary-as you’d expect given it’s the house of High Society. Snake face-shifting is a social staple. Corona’s a Courtier Badger, so she could fit into that culture and do well in it...except for one huge problem. Badger secondaries have to mean it. They have to believe the role they’re playing, because they run on integrity of method. And starting from when she was very young, Corona was required to pretend to be something she could not believe herself to be-a necromancer.

This did an absolute number on her self-esteem. Pretending to be a necromancer while Ianthe does all the actual magic for both of them, and getting lauded for that? It’s completely horrible to her. She latched onto the idea instead of being her sister’s cavalier, because that’s a kind of work she could do-necromantic talent is inborn, there’s no way to achieve it if you are not born with it, but learning to swordfight is something she’s capable of. Unfortunately, her family didn’t understand why this was such a problem for her-for a Snake like Ianthe is and like their parents probably are, it wouldn’t be-so it was dismissed as Corona being silly or childish.

When Ianthe kills Naberius and absorbs his soul to become a Lyctor, Corona views it as the ultimate betrayal, because she’s so desperate to be of use and her sister has denied that to her. She’s a Snake Badger with no way whatsoever to serve and help Her Person-the one person that her inner circle consists of, because by this point she’s kicked herself out. And so she shatters, and ends up crying helplessly on the floor.

But then Corona started crying again, big tears leaking out of her eyes, her voice thick with misery and self-pity. “And who even cares about Babs? Babs! She could have taken me.”

Muir, Tamsyn. Gideon the Ninth (The Locked Tomb Trilogy) (p. 394). Tom Doherty Associates. Kindle Edition.

[emerald-studies]

Diverse Perspectives | Discussion 3

I sent some questions to @jasperwhitcock​ for her perspective as a POC woman and daughter of an immigrant.

[ It is required to participate and watch/read these discussions, in order to follow me. Participate or get tf out. We aren’t performative in my lil’ area on Tumblr.

This discussion isn’t representative of an entire population or meant to be super professional. It’s to share different perspectives and also is an opportunity for me to practice what I preach: intersectionality. If you’d like to participate in this series please send me a pm or an ask and I’ll get back to you ASAP. We can do a written, audio, or video interview.]

As a mixed person, do you feel isolated from your community?

J: If you mean community as in the community I currently live in, I’m fortunate enough to live in a very diverse place. Surrounding the city of Houston, there’s a lot of prejudice integrated into a lot of the suburban neighborhoods, but in terms of the city itself, I think the POC communities really uplift and support each other. I’m a concert photographer when there’s not a pandemic, and I’ve always appreciated the way latinos and black artists are respected in the indie community. Houston’s a very rap/hip hop/R&B city, so black artists are especially celebrated. There’s also great latinx bands that I know, latinx venue owners/employees, and latinx brands connected to the indie community. We’re very well represented in this area.

If you mean community as in the latinx community, I wouldn’t say isolated, but depending on the day, I might say that I can feel distanced at times. This isn’t particularly due to the latinx community itself, so much as it may be a distance that I create in my head. As a mixed person, I think there are times where you can feel confused on where you belong. I’ve brought up the quote before from the Selena movie, where Selena’s father Abraham is speaking on the potential difficulty of Selena being accepted in Mexico because of the fact she is Mexican American: “We have to be more Mexican than the Mexicans and more American than the Americans, both at the same time! It's exhausting!” It can be difficult at times to navigate your sense of belonging when you are in between two cultures because you want to recognize that you may have privileges someone of full Mexican descent may not have, but at the same time, your life is still very much defined by being Mexican and having Mexican blood while living in America too. You’re definitely not absolved from having latin experiences. Latina stand up comedian Anjelah Johnson made a joke in her stand up about there being a Latinx hierarchy. She said that Spanish speaking latinos are better than the rest of us who are not fluent in Spanish (such as herself), and it was funny because sometimes you do feel that that can be true. My tías will always ask me why I’m not fluent in Spanish, and my mom will be like “yeah, why don’t you?” and I’m always like… because y’all didn’t teach me! My parents speak Spanish to each other at home. My father is not only fluent in Spanish, but his Spanish is oftentimes superior to a lot of Spanish speakers according to my mom and my tíos. He used to teach English in Mexico, so there is no reason that my sister and I shouldn’t have been perfectly bilingual. The reason they didn’t teach us as children is because they didn’t want us to be speaking Spanglish. (Spoiler: it happened anyways). Around white people, I definitely feel that I am not a white person. I feel very much latina in a group of white people. But then around latin people, I sometimes feel white enough to feel a sense of shyness. I definitely feel more at home with latinx people, but overall in both groups, I definitely feel that I am mixed.

It doesn’t happen often, because I think although the majority of latinx people have pride in their background, the hyperawareness of our identities right now is relatively new, but there have been instances of latinx gatekeeping the latin identity. Growing up, I didn’t think about what I was labelled as or think about how my family structure is different to other families. I didn’t consider how in some areas, it is an abnormality to have an immigrant parent or a parent with an accent. I definitely noticed that my family was different, but I didn’t understand why until much later. My mom, her sisters and brothers, and my primos… They don’t live their lives with the awareness of being defined as Mexican immigrants. Of course, they again have pride in where they came from. They live as Mexicans and engage in Mexican culture, but overall, the way the youth today has really grasped onto the labelling of our identity is kind of a new thing. There are some young latinx people who do try to quantify and measure whether or not your experience is valid. I know it comes from a place of protectiveness of their own experience, but it’s ridiculous to gate keep because something that really characterizes latin culture is our warmth, our sense of family, our willingness to embrace other people as part of that. If you’re of latin american descent, you have a place in the latinx community.

Since your parents don’t have college degrees, do you believe college is important and/or necessary?

J: I think it depends! I think a lot of immigrant parents really push for their children to get a college education because they see that as opportunity, particularly when they did not earn college degrees themselves. I think college can be important depending on what you want to accomplish, but I also think it’s not completely necessary. For my career path as a photographer/videographer, I chose not to do college. I do think I would have enjoyed college because I like learning, but because it was something unnecessary for my job, I couldn’t justify the time invested or putting my parents into a difficult financial situation. Especially because my college education would have overlapped with my sister, and I saw how difficult it was to juggle handling my sister’s student loans. For my sister’s career path (she is studying to be a nutritionist/therapist to help teenagers with eating disorders), college was necessary.

Your Mom has been stuck in the US, unable to return to Mexico for awhile, has your Mom’s experience with immigration changed your views in some way?

J: As context, my father lived in Mexico for a decade and married my mom in Mexicali. They hadn’t planned to move to the United States, but when they came to the US to marry here so that she could have citizenship and be able to visit his family, there were complications that made it to where she couldn’t leave the country. Luckily, the time she was unexpectedly stuck in the United States didn’t last super long! Long enough to become comfortable enough to decide to settle down in California, but we have been able to travel to Mexico often. I think it really highlights how unnecessarily complicated a lot of the processes regarding immigration are. The people in the country who are very malicious about undocumented immigrants love to jump to saying, “well, why can’t they just become an American citizen?” when the reality is that every process in place has a lot of complications. Not everyone has access to the resources to be able to make these transitions happen smoothly. Also, the time it takes to acquire your visa is not an overnight thing. People severely underestimate the difficulty involved.

What do you think about the “hard-working immigrant” stereotype?

J: I hate the idea that immigrants work hard because they’re low-skilled, but I do love that there is a lot of pride in how motivated immigrants are. It’s always been a ridiculous claim that immigrants are taking American jobs. Immigrants work the jobs that the majority of Americans have no interest in doing, especially the people that make this complaint. For a country that prides itself on working to make your dreams come true, Americans neglect to recognize that immigrants have a drive that most Americans don’t have.

Which parent do you feel more connected to? Your Mother who’s an immigrant or your Father who was born in America?

J: I really do feel that I am a coalescence of both my parents, so I think I feel equally connected to each of them. I feel a very strong emotional connection and concern for my dad because his mental health suffers a lot. His mother had bipolar depression at a time where mental health was even more stigmatized, and she endured a lot of ridiculous, merciless treatments that are no longer utilized today. When he was nine years old, his mom committed suicide, and this was an event that really defined his life forever. I think that kind of heaviness passes down through your family. When my dad is not doing well, I feel really imbalanced and emotionally impacted even if I’m not home to witness it. It’s kind of like that idea of an invisible string tethering you to someone, and it’s a weight that I carry always. However, overall, he’s a very positive person. When he is going through his kind of manic highs, he’s a lot more of what I recognize of who my dad is. He’s creative, a musician, and deeply caring for other people. His mother’s death has empowered him to really try to make a difference and “paint a picture of a better tomorrow.” I’m a lot like my dad in personality, but in disposition, I’m so much like my mom. She’s tough and outspoken at home, but in public, it takes awhile for her to open up. My mom’s very selfless, kind, and very much shy and quiet. She definitely exemplifies a lot of the sacrifice that you see many immigrants make. I do like both sides of my family, but I definitely feel more at home with the Mexican side. My dad’s side is loud, vivacious, and very much funny, but I feel extremely shy around them. My sister and I have always felt a tiny bit left out. I think they’d be hurt to know we feel this way, but I definitely don’t think they do anything to intentionally enforce this division. But I think it developed because there is a bit of a cultural disconnect between my aunts and my mom. It’s also very interesting to me that when they first met my mom, my mom didn’t speak any English. It’s fascinating to consider how it might change your perception of someone to go from not being able to communicate with them to watching them learn your language. My mom enjoys the time that we do spend with my dad’s family, but she’s kind of the odd one out in that her humor isn’t the same and her experiences are so different. I think that my dad’s sister and brother’s families were able to connect in a stronger way, so sometimes my mom, my sister, and I feel just a little isolated. In those moments, I feel the most aware of my Mexican background. With my mom’s side of the family, it’s a lot more comfortable. My dad’s able to develop his humor in a way that translates well into Spanish, so he fits in very easily.

You’ve lived in a “Blue/more liberal” state and a “Red/more conservative” state, which state has affected you more?

J: Definitely the red state. Seeing how intensely and ridiculously conservative some southern people are has really radicalized me in a way. I feel overwhelmingly liberal because there’s a defensiveness that develops when you’re in a space like this where you have this intense disbelief that people hold the ideas that they do. Especially because in Texas, black and latinx culture is a major contributor to southern culture. There’s a lot to be said about how black culture shapes the south, but because I’m latina, I’m focusing on latinx culture with this question. White conservatives want our food, they want our work, but they don’t want us. I don’t understand how anyone can be all #TacoTuesday one day, and then the next, be anti-immigrant. If you really want Mexicans out of your country, then maybe you should start living your life without any Mexican influence. Stop eating Mexican food. Clean your own pool and mow your own lawn. It’s ignorant to speak down on immigrants when their life would be so altered to be rid of immigrants. They rely on immigrants. Their lives are shaped by immigrants and built by immigrants.

(I had to chime in here: )

 Are you proud of your parents?

J: Absolutely. As a young teenager, I had a lot of problems with my parents. I think I still have issues I’m working through as a result, but now that I’m older, I really do feel a deep sense of admiration and respect for them. Growing up really makes you view your parents differently and understand them as people rather than just as parents. I held onto a lot of anger and resentment, but I’ve come to truly see how they really did do their best. They’ve worked very hard, and I think not having everything that kids around me did really helped me grow into a more grateful person.

Have you faced discrimination for your race?

J: Of course, but in all honesty, it really rolls off my back. I think hate that is personally directed at me doesn’t bother me, but the discrimination that does affect me is anything directed or related to my mom. I remember my parents had a customer who made a really ugly complaint to my father about my mom’s english. My mom essentially handles most of the written communication with their business, and she still speaks and types in broken english often. The majority of my parents’ clients are latinx, so it’s typically not an issue, but it’s unbelievably offensive and ridiculous the assumptions people will make about your intelligence based on your english. The customer had no idea that the woman she’d been communicating with was my father’s wife rather than just an employee. It’s really sad how someone can see someone as unworthy of respect until they’re tied to a white man, and then they’re suddenly apologetic. This is another extremely mild example, but I’ll get a few laughs when I mispronounce something or don’t know how to say certain words. People always find it funny as though it’s embarrassing –– and it definitely can be –– but people forget I learned english from a woman who speaks two languages.

As the child of an immigrant, how has the anti immigrant talking point affected your mental health?

J: I think the toll the anti-immigrant bias in the United States has on immigrant children is a relevant conversation to have, but I think I’m very lucky in that I feel very tough in the face of that ignorance (which is not to say anyone whose mental health suffers as a result is not tough!) If anything, I feel pity for the people who are so hateful that they see other human beings in such a derogatory and entitled way. Similar to what I said before, my outrage really comes from a place of defensiveness for others. The talking point doesn’t hurt me, but it hurts me that people can speak about my family and my community the way they do. It hurts me that there are other immigrant children who have to work as hard as their parents to make their sacrifices worth it, and people are so insensitive as to not respect that. I’m pretty strong, but it does break my heart when my people are disrespected. If someone were to say something to me, that’s fine, but if i saw someone mistreating a little mexican lady in the store… I may be 5’3 but that don’t mean I won’t come for your ass. Okay, in all honesty, I’m really not a violent person. I’m more of a rise above kind of person because the hate someone has in their heart is not worth our time, but some people do need a chancla thrown at them to learn some respect.

In your opinion, in what ways does the Latinx community need more support?

J: I think because the latinx community is so much so composed of hard workers, people really need to support latin businesses more. That’s a direct way to impact latin lives. There’s an abundance of latin small business owners in every category. So many white kids love going to Cozumel for Spring Break and love wearing sombreros on Cinco De Mayo, but then the rest of the year, they have no care or respect for the authentic culture. For every dollar a white man makes, hispanic women still make statistically less than white women, asian women, black women, and native women. We gotta back up these businesses. Choose local taco shops or restaurants over chains. Choose online shops and Mexican boutiques over fast fashion. And this applies to everybody. We can always support black business or asian businesses over large competitors. It really does make an impact. I also think a lot of latinx children need access to better mental health resources. I’m lucky in that because my father struggles with mental health issues, mental health in my family wasn’t exactly a taboo, but in a lot of latin families, mental health is something that is hard for older parents to validate. Latin children need those resources. A simple google search of “latin mental health resources,” bring up a bunch of organizations that you can support. I think every POC community needs to be boosted right now because although we’ve been under attack, conversations about minority communities are being had by white people right now. We have their attention, and we do need their support to enact change because they have the power as the oppressor. We need to be going to bat protecting black people right now because of the insane damage the community has been enduring at the hands of police, and we need to be protecting immigrant children from what’s happening to them at the border. I know the election is extremely controversial right now, but I would urge anyone who has the ability to vote to really consider the importance of doing so. People love to be cynical about how our votes don’t matter, and I understand that cynicism, but a lot of immigrants don’t have the luxury of voting when the results of the election will directly impact their lives. I hate that there is no option of a president that will perfectly support POC communities, but there are options whose party is far more aligned with supporting and protecting POC communities than Trump is. Trump spews hate and fuels racism and prejudice. He calls Mexicans rapists and black protestors thugs. He encourages the blaming of the coronavirus on the asians in our country. He does not need any help winning the election. We need to get this hateful man out, and I strongly encourage anyone who can vote to do so.

--

Let’s have a discussion! Did you learn anything new from this conversation?

Let me know here.

-

To close out each post, I’d like to write a lil’ paragraph about the person I talk with:

I’m so lucky to have you as a friend darling. You always bring a smile to my face when we chat. You’re funny and so smart. I admire you deeply for being able to share your perspective in a clear way. Thank you for putting up with my 2 am messages lol 🖤🖤🖤🖤Your continued support makes me feel safe and very, very, loved. I hope I encourage the same feeling with you. 

You’re the best babe,

-Faithxx

[ladyherenya]

My favourite thing this year has been the Korean drama Crash Landing on You (2019-20).

It has something of a ridiculous title (I’ve ended up calling it Crash Landing or sometimes just Crash). But, to be fair, North and South was already taken.

“I can go to Africa and even Antarctica but not here. It’s a shame that you live here.” “It’s a shame that you live there.” -- episode three

To my great amusement, every month or so, Netflix has sent me an email that’s said: “Don’t forget to finish Crash Landing on You” or “Remember this? Watch it again: Crash Landing on You” or “Rewatch your favourite moments - Watch it again: Crash Landing on You…”

And I’m like: NETFLIX! Seriously, WHAT do you THINK I’M DOING?

I have now watched Crash Landing on You five times.

There are several reasons for this:

I successfully dragged other family members down this particular rabbit hole, and in a pandemic season, when things have been unpredictable (or cancelled), rewatching Crash Landing has been an appealing and comfortably-familiar distraction, as well as the source of many, many long, analytical fandom-y conversations, which has been fun.

I needed to watch it more than once to straighten out all the pieces of the story in my head. With 16 episodes, each over an hour long, it’s one of the longest stories I’ve ever watched. I’ve seen other TV series with more episodes, but nearly all have been much more episodic, rather than telling one continuous story.  

I kept noticing details that I’d previously missed because I’d been focused on the subtitles or that I hadn’t properly understood some cultural nuance. And some things are ambiguous in translation -- in a good way, a fodder-for-discussion way.

I have ALWAYS rewatched (or reread) my favourite stories. And Crash Landing fits right in with those. Someone in my family described it as: “Like Lord of the Rings on steroids!” However, I think it actually has far more in common -- visually and thematically, and also in terms of my willingness to discuss the characters as if they were real people -- with my favourite historical dramas.

In terms of story, Crash Landing is easy enough to summarise: A South Korean businesswoman is paragliding when a freak storm blows her across the border; she’s discovered by a North Korean captain, who hides her and helps her get home.

But I’m going to need more words to explain why I fell in love with it.

It is fascinating and, first time round, tense and unpredictable. It’s funny and very meta -- very aware of the tropes it’s playing with and of parallels and contrasts within the story. It’s visually and aesthetically pleasing, and the soundtrack grew on me.

There are a number of coincidences and a few ridiculous fight scenes, but the emotions are intensely real and so are the consequences. It has camaraderie and found-family and thoughtfully-complicated family relationships. There are characters I love, and characters who surprised me, and so much time given to character development!  It’s romantic. There’s a fake engagement (a favourite trope of mine) and while I’m not a fan of love triangles, I liked how this quadrangle-tangle is handled. And the obstacles to the romance are satisfyingly realistic; characters have sensible reasons for the choices they make.

I love how the story uses flashbacks, particularly the post-credit scenes.

The final episode isn’t perfect, but given that a perfectly happy ending would, realistically,  require the reunification of north and south, I thought it came very close.

Let me elaborate.

Cut for sheer verbosity, rather than spoilers. (I’m not allowing myself to list spoiler-ish examples or dive into analysing my favourite scenes, because then I wouldn’t just be here all night, I’d be here all week).

⬦ Fascinating, tense, unpredictable: I knew almost nothing about life in North Korea, so that was fascinating and made the story harder to predict, as I couldn’t anticipate what options the characters had or what obstacles might arise. And that isn’t the only reason I found it tense -- at different times, different characters are greatly at risk if discovered; there are occasions when characters are in danger of physical violence or are injured; and they have a couple of dilemmas to which there are just not easy solutions (See also: Obstacles for romance).

While I’m on the subject of the setting, although I cannot judge how accurate this portrayal of the north was, it’s portrayal of people as people was incredibly convincing. It’s a society where people have differences in personality and in circumstances. There are orphans begging in the market, people who can afford to stay in fancy hotels -- and a lot of people somewhere in between. In the military village, people have varying attitudes, tastes in clothes, privileges, standards of living, etc. Their lifestyle differs from that in Pyongyang, and also in other parts of the country. Amongst the military, some men are compassionate, some are corrupt and some are not obviously one or the other.

Moreover, it’s clear that corruption and villainy isn’t just in the north. In the south, as in the north, we see a range of humanity -- selfishness, good friends, complicated families, happy marriages, criminal behaviour, and so on.

I’ve read an article or two suggesting that the least realistic aspect is Ri Jeong Hyeok being such a sympathetic and honourable officer. I think it’s interesting that he clearly isn’t a typical captain -- he wanted a different career, he’s spent time studying overseas (in a democratic country), and, perhaps most importantly, his father’s position gives him protection from pressures many others face. He has the privilege of being able to afford to act with integrity, and of encouraging such behaviour in the men he leads.

⬦ Humour and meta: I’ve included these two together, because so much of the story’s self-awareness and intertextuality is humorous. I am very amused by so many things -- the village women’s interactions, Se-ri’s wit and banter, Jeong Hyeok’s facial expressions, the duckling's reactions, the way Ju Meok keeps comparing things to South Korean dramas:

Ju Meok: “I haven’t seen any drama characters that don’t fall in love in that situation. That’s how they all fall in love.”

(Because my knowledge of Korean drama is limited, there are a few cameos and references which I suspect would be amusing if one was in the know. The exception is the taxi driver singing, who was funny even without recognising the actor.)

I love the commentary that comes from all the moments when other characters witness the unfolding romance. Others’ reactions are often memorably hilarious -- some of my favouritest scenes fall into this category. (The customs officer! Jeong Hyeok’s dad!) They introduce humour and self-awareness into these moments, allowing the story to acknowledge “Yeah, we know these two are being ridiculous/sappy/emotional”. These moments reveal people’s attitudes towards displays of affection, particularly in the north, and their different attitudes towards Se-ri and Jeong Hyeok’s relationship.  

And as their relationship changes, Se-ri and Jeong Hyeok’s awareness of being watched and commented upon changes, too.

Which leads me to…

⬦ Contrasts and parallels: So many scenes which echo/parallel earlier scenes. Most obviously, this allows the story to compare and contrast the north and south, but it also shows changes in time, differences between characters, and differences in relationships too. Sometimes all at once!

 It means some plot developments weren’t totally unexpected -- it was Oh, of COURSE, we’re going to now see that character in this situation! or OBVIOUSLY we now have to see what this is like in the south!

But I thought it was really effective storytelling and I so much enjoyed spotting and analysing these moments.

⬦ Yoon Se-ri and Ri Jeong Hyeok: These two are the heart of the story and there are so many things I love about them. Like how, even though Se-ri is dependent upon Jeong Hyeok to hide and help her -- even though they’re initially hesitant about a romantic relationship -- they quickly become very protective of each other. Often to the point of willingly risking their own safety. Often to the point of exasperating the other. It’s great.

 That’s not the only thing they discover they have in common. They share some interests. They’re both highly intelligent, driven, successful leaders (he’s a captain, she’s a CEO) who are very private, lonely people carrying around grief about their family and their past. Neither of them likes to reveal their emotions -- he tries to conceal his by suppressing his facial expressions and avoiding answering questions, while Se-ri hides behind play-acting.  

I like watching Se-ri trying to get to know Jeong Hyeok. She isn’t deterred by his silences (unlike someone else) and she keeps the conversation going even when he doesn’t respond. She watches him closely, and says or does things to provoke a reaction. Poke, poke, poke.

And the time they spend together is really revealing. They share meals, they share a house. They see how the other responds under pressure, but also in various social and domestic situations. They see each other in a range of moods: calm, happy, grumpy, scared, tired, upset, unwell. Crash Landing takes advantage of spending sixteen episodes with these characters. Going through so many different experiences together, they learn a lot about each other -- about each other’s values, tastes and temperament -- and this means the audience gets a deeper, more nuanced understanding of who they are, too.  

Se-ri and Jeong Hyeok are also well-matched in how they show they appreciate each other -- she delights in giving presents, and he is quick to notice things Se-ri might need or like.

And it’s very satisfying when they open up, or when they cry in front of each other, because you know that they don’t do this lightly or easily.

⬦ Obstacles for romance, love triangle quadrangle-tangle: I appreciate that the obstacles in this story are not contrived or fueled by needless misunderstandings.  Se-ri and Jeong Hyeok have really solid, sensible reasons to be hesitant to first recognise, then admit to, and then act upon, a romantic attraction. Even once they realise that getting Se-ri home is going to take longer than they’d hoped and she’s pretending to be Jeong Hyeok’s fiancée, romance between them is still a road that leads nowhere. She isn’t safe staying in the north and he would endanger his family if he defected to the south, and they both accept that. And they’re reticent about sharing vulnerable feelings, and Jeong Hyeok is actually engaged to someone else.

But once they really open up to each other, the narrative conflict revolves around their circumstances, rather than doubts or misunderstandings they have about each other. Because the situations they face are dangerous and difficult, with no obvious or straightforward path to a happy ending, there’s quite enough tension to drive the story forward. They still have a couple of misunderstandings, but I like how they handle those, and I like that they don’t have more of them.

As for the love triangle, it doesn’t have the angst of someone torn between, or even attracted to, two people. Jeong Hyeok’s engagement has been arranged. Having feelings for someone else doesn’t change the foundation of that engagement, nor the pressure to please his family. He doesn’t love or know his fiancée -- not well enough to risk revealing Se-ri’s true identity to her. He’s honest with Se-ri and he makes an effort with Dan.  

(I have a theory that, if he had been in love before, he might be quicker to recognise how some of his behaviour towards Se-ri fosters intimacy and sends her messages he doesn’t intend, but this is all new for him.)

He tries not to mislead or hurt Dan, but she’s hurt nonetheless, and I like that Crash Landing doesn’t gloss over that. It explores why she’s hurt, why she’s so reluctant to let him go and why their relationship never really worked. (Neither of them are good at communicating with each other, and I think she takes some of the things he does for her for granted, rather than recognising them as overtures and as opportunities to get to know him better.)

Dan is not just a romantic rival, nor a narrative complication, but a person whose concerns and desire are taken seriously, and who is given space to grow.

Which leads me to...

⬦ Surprising characters, thoughtfully-complicated family relationships: As mentioned, Crash Landing takes advantage of the amount of character development 16 episodes allows, and not just for its lead couple. I was surprised by how much my opinion of certain characters changed, as I came to understand them better.

The character I was most surprised by was Gu Seung-jun.

Each time I’ve watched this, I’ve liked Dan more. I have a lot of sympathy for her now. I also like her mother, even though she’s embarrassingly over the top, because she cares fiercely about her daughter and about advocating for her.

Se-ri’s dysfunctional family are more nuanced than I expected, too. In particular, I love the attention the story gives to Se-ri’s relationship with her step-mother. I was expecting Se-ri’s father to play a larger role, perhaps because he’s nominally the one with the power and influence, and at first Se-ri’s mother seems so passive. But it was really interesting to understand where she’s coming from, why her relationship with Se-ri is broken and sad. The steps the two of them take towards rebuilding their relationship are believable.

(On a related thought, I appreciate a lot of the choices this makes in addressing these women’s mental health struggles. One or two moments arguably could have been handled better, but on the whole it’s realistically optimistic, with enough detail so that we understand the seriousness -- the impact it’s had on these women’s lives.)

⬦ Camaraderie, found family and the ducklings: Se-ri doesn’t spend as much time with the village women as she does with Jeong Hyeok and his soldiers, and when she does, she’s play-acting, in order to keep her identity a secret. But I like how they nevertheless support her, and how meeting her sparks change their dynamic with each other. They grow closer and become much better at supporting each other. It’s really heartwarming.

We gave many of the characters codenames, so we could discuss them when we were still learning their names. (I was surprised by how long it took me to learn some of the characters’ names.  Because so many were unfamiliar to me, they were harder to remember; I wasn’t always sure, from just reading the subtitles, how all of them were pronounced, and sometimes it was hard to separate the sound of the names from surrounding sentences, especially when, due to honorifics and titles and so on, subtitles don’t always match exactly what is being said.) Jeong Hyeok’s men are “the ducklings”, inspired by something I saw on Tumblr: Gwang Beom is “Handsome Duckling”, Ju Meok is “Drama Duckling” and Chi Su is just the sergeant.) I love how they function as a found-family, especially in contrast to Se-ri’s real family. They’re funny, loyal and caring, and in spite of their different personalities, work well together as a team. I enjoyed seeing the different relationships they have with each other, with Jeong Hyeok and Se-ri, and how some of those relationships change. And they’re so protective they are of Eun Dong!

Man Bok has an interesting arc -- I could have mentioned him under Surprising characters. I really like how he fits into this story, how he’s connected to the mystery Jeong Hyeok is investigating, how he becomes involved with the rest of the characters and has these moments when he plays a significant role. Or gets to be funny. I like the contrast and parallels too -- he’s in a different place in his life to the ducklings, and he gets opportunities to revisit past choices he regrets.

And I’m trying not to write essays about all the characters, and it’s ahhh, I have too many thoughts and feelings about them all!

⬦ Satisfyingly realistic: I like how -- one or two ridiculous fight scenes and an unrealistic paragliding scene aside -- things which happen have believable consequences. Particularly emotionally. We see men cry! A lot! And it always feels like a genuine expression of emotion, not gratuitous or overwrought. (Well, okay, there’s a very minor character who’s a bit over the top but he’s very minor.)

When one of the characters is gravely ill, she looks it, I found it oddly satisfying that she doesn’t have to be pretty all the time.

And I wasn’t sure if this belonged here or under “Visual details” but I love the attention given to Se-ri’s clothes. She cares a lot about fashion and in the north her clothing choices indicate that she cares a lot about her appearance, while making do with a limited wardrobe and still dressing for warmth.  (I’m happy to handwave that she seems to have more clothes than would realistically fit in those shopping bags.) I appreciated the practical streak, and, as winter wore on here, became envious of one of her outfits.

I don’t personally like the style of Se-ri chooses for work, but it’s different it is from what she wore in the north and from what she wears at home -- her power-dressing is like a uniform or a statement of persona she projects in her working life, and not necessarily a reflection of her personal tastes.

⬦ Visual details: I love so many of the visuals. Gorgeous scenery, interesting settings and clever framing for significant scenes. The sky, a place without borders, often becomes a focus and there’s a thematically-relevant flight motif -- paragliders, birds and kites.

I did not start noticing the   product placement until a rewatch, when I stopped to think about how often they went to Subway. The first time, it just seemed like a commentary on south-versus-north, and then I was just baffled-yet-amused by it all. (That sort of thing does not make me want to eat fried chicken...)

⬦ Soundtrack: The first time round, I liked the instrumental score and the presence of piano music actually in the story. As I kept rewatching, the rest of the soundtrack slowly but steadily grew on me, and I found myself liking the songs more and more.  

Now I not only recognise them by name, I can recall most of them well enough to hum them and know which scenes they’re associated with. Which is a lot harder when the lyrics are in a language I don’t speak and so I can’t use them as a prompt for memory.

⬦ Flashbacks: Instead of “previously-on” segments, Crash Landing employs lots of flashbacks whenever it wants to remind the audience of something.

Sometimes, instead of just repeating part of an earlier scene, it takes the opportunity to show the same moment from different angles or from a different character’s perspective,  or to juxtapose it with a different scene or to introduce new information. This was really effective. And when flashbacks were a simple repeat, I was usually happy to revisit important moments in the story (and sometimes, having a different person translating the subtitles meant there was a slightly different perspective on the dialogue).

Then there are the post-credit flashbacks, quite a few of which take places years earlier. I love how they’re puzzle pieces about the characters’ pasts and the connections between them.

⬦ The end:  The first time round, after watching the penultimate episode I was so engrossed in the story and so invested in the characters that I had trouble sleeping and I went around the next day with this tight, anxious feeling, unable to get the story out of my head.

The final episode is an emotional rollercoaster. SO. MANY. FEELINGS. There’s one particular scene which packs a powerful punch -- it’s exceptionally emotional and beautifully filmed. I love it, but I’m  glad we get the aftermath too.

It isn’t a perfect ending, but as I said, I don’t think there was a perfect ending was possible, not one that was both realistic and satisfying. But this comes very close. In the very final scenes, not everything is resolved or explained, and I like how that ambiguity is open to interpretation -- I like that there are some gaps for the viewer to fill in for oneself, however one prefers to imagine the characters’ lives going forward.

I know I could easily write another four thousand words about this story -- there are aspects I haven’t really discussed but this seems like a good place to stop. For now. I really like this story. I expect I’ll watch it all again soon.

[being-worthy]

Saturday Home Cinema: Mulan (2020) - A very honest review!

I just had to write this review because Mulan is one of my heroes and I’m a huge fan of the original Disney Mulan (1998). I saw the movie for the first time as a kid when I had trouble feeling integrated and was daily bullied at school. I re-watched it again and again and again until I was able to learn by heart the script and all the songs in German (and later on, even in English). I just saw so much of myself in Mulan (maybe except for the fact that I’m not as beautiful or witty as she is). I too always felt out of place and I couldn’t be my true self and I was never very ladylike either. I also looked up at her and saw her as a role model. Sometimes I thought that if I stared long enough at my reflection in the mirror, it’d show me my true self - and I’m still waiting to this day… Disney’s 1998 version of Mulan was and still is my favourite Disney movie.

> SPOILER ALERT AHEAD!! <

The best thing about this movie is the soundtrack, especially at the end. Christina Aguilera was the right choice to sing Reflection and Loyal Brave True. The goosebumps her voice gives, I can’t even describe how extraordinary her voice is. In the end credits, you can listen to the English version of Reflection as well as the Chinese version (sadly sung by Liu Yifei  ¬¬). It’s worth to watch the end credits and listen to the songs.

*My suggestion: Stop whatever you’re doing. Put on some headphones (even better if they’re noise-cancelling), close your eyes, play the song Reflection song (and Loyal Brave True if you feel like it) by Christina Aguilera, no distractions no interruptions, forget about everything and everyone, let the song flow through your ears, mind, heart, body, and soul, and you will feel like you’re Mulan, especially when the drumming gets louder, it’s epically epic! (Sorry for the redundancy but it IS a remarkable song!)

I welcome the idea of wanting to take a classic and do something new, something fresh with it but humanity could’ve gone without this movie and they shouldn’t ask for $35 to watch it on Disney+ and sometimes a classical doesn’t need to be redone. Additionally, I can’t entirely understand what’s going on these past years not only with Disney but Hollywood and all other big movie production companies. It’s either remake of this classic or a 2nd/3rd sequel of a movie that doesn’t actually require a sequel but it’s still done anyway. Why even bother wasting big amounts of money to create a disaster? You’re better of donating that money to charity (or to me lol). The main thing that Disney has been doing lately are remakes of many of our childhood movies Aladdin, Beauty and the Beast, Dumbo, The Jungle Book, The Lion King, among others, and now Mulan. Some have a few good parts in them but they still can’t and never will compare to the original. Why is there no originality and innovation anymore? Have they run out of ideas? Furthermore, let’s be honest people will always compare the remake (either consciously or unconsciously) with the original because there are less than a dozen movies where the remake either was (almost) as good as the original much less better than the original. The movie Mulan (2020) had a massive budget and is the most expensive film made by a female director (Niki Caro), yet how they made it, the battle sequences and CGI effects, etc. they’re all crappy.

Budgets of all Mulan interpretations:

Mulan (1998) - $90 million > Directed by Tony Bancroft and Barry Cook. Made $304.3 million in the box office

Hua Mulan (2009) - $12 million > Directed by Jingle Ma. Sadly, made only $1.8 million in the box office. It deserved more love!

Mulan (2020) - $200 million(!!) > All that budget was a waste!

I’ve seen all three versions. The 1998 version is for everybody and it’s funny and you feel with the characters and the film. Let’s be honest, the granny is one of the best characters, most of us have or had a granny like that in our lives. The 2nd one is a 2-hour long movie, a more mature adaption which illustrates the ugly harsh truth about war and the loss and death it brings with it and that there’s nothing funny or cool about it. This one is not suitable for children. You feel with the characters and their sacrifices and they also develop along the movie. I can only recommend to watch this version if you haven’t. And the latest one is a disgrace.

I’m a bit confused as to what the message of the movie is. On one hand, it tells you shouldn’t hide your inner beauty, you shouldn’t hide who you are, you shouldn’t hide your abilities, you shouldn’t try to hide who you truly are in order to conform to what the world/society wants you to be or who you should be, let your true self shine and be yourself and don’t allow anyone to tell you that you’re inferior just because they think/say you are. This is something powerful and admirable but, on the other hand, at the same time, it tells you that you can only do that if you are the chosen one. Let me explain... In the beginning, we see Mulan as a little girl chasing a chicken up to the roofs of the houses at the village where she lives. Basically, she’s born as a one-woman army (almost deus ex machina) and doesn’t require any further training which is total and utter rubbish. She has all the skills because of her powerful chi (vital life force energy) but has to underplay them because it’s not very ladylike to behave like she wants to and she still underplays them when she trains with the soldiers so as to keep a low profile. Her being so powerful from the beginning makes me feel alienated from her and I can’t empathise with her. It’s also not very realistic, nobody is born with their abilities fully developed. For example, even Bruce Lee had to train hard to get where he got and he wasn’t the only one.

The original version shows us a regular girl, at times clumsy (which is a cliché but we still liked it) and when she’s confronted with new situations, she analyses them and finds a quick canny solution to them. She also has to train her body and mind to get to the peak of her potential and accomplish what nobody else could in her time, and here the character is done from the start of the movie and the only thing she has to do is choose not to hide her chi anymore. This tells us that you don’t have to work hard to achieve your dreams whereas in reality you actually do have to work your butt off!

I’m not a fan of the leading actress they chose for Mulan, aka Liu Yifei, not only because she’s a police brutality supporter according to her controversial tweets a while back - this already makes her unworthy to portray Mulan who is the complete opposite - but also because she didn’t do a good job at depicting this great role. Mulan is a role model for every girl and woman and it’s a massive contradiction if a woman who agrees to the atrocious police methods impersonates her role. What message do we send out to every girl out in the world? In her acting she’s this blank and hollow person through the movie and transmits no emotion whatsoever - not even when she cries. This also makes it difficult for me to identify myself with her. She’s this wooden plank, she is and stays a blank canvas through the whole movie with no growth in her character and it’s frustrating having to see this because the character of Mulan isn’t at all like this. Mulan experiences many emotions from the moment where she makes the decision to enlist so her father doesn’t have to or when she experiences the loss of her comrades or has to kill someone for the first time, etc. she suffers along her journey and all this changes her but you see nothing of it in Liu Yifei’s Mulan.

In the Disney version, there are some crucial moments that are missing in the new one. For instance, the most crucial one is the moment where Mulan decides to go to war. If you remember the animation one, she’s sitting in the rain by the dragon statue and at that moment makes a decision that could kill her or worse bring dishonour to herself and her entire family (including ancestors) which was far worse than death during that time! She gets up, marches to the altar of her ancestors, takes her father’s sword and cuts her hair (I know men had long hair back then too but still), puts on the armour and goes to war. All this while being accompanied by an epic song written by Jerry Goldsmith called Haircut. This is one of the most intense and dramatic moments in the movie and in all Disney movies! You can understand and feel the importance of this decision for the character and you feel the weight of it! In the 2020 one, she takes the sword and the next shot presents her already with the armour on - there’s zero dramatic impact here. That was a great missed opportunity!! By omitting important scenes and their dramatic impacts like this one that are essential to the story and to the characters, to their development and their journey throughout the story and you really need to rely on the original from 1998 to have this context.

The battle scenes are like many modern movies: lots of action, lots of moving (too fast-moving), a few amazing fighting moves and fights but not showed entirely. I at least expected some similar quality, like we’ve seen in films such as Hero (2002), House of Flying Daggers (2004), and Tiger & Dragon (2020) to name a few. Sadly, these movies had better fight scenes quality than Mulan which were filmed in high frame rate but over-edited with action that is negatively frenetic and have artificial CGI effects (even the CGI effects in Independence Day were better - I’m watching the movie while writing this). We’re in the 21st century with great advances in technology and movies are given big budgets (particularly Hollywood films), yet despite all this, most movies end up with CGI effects from another era. How come this happens over and over? In this one, we see people running too fast, horses running too fast, and they’re all like a big mass of headless chickens and you don’t know exactly what is happening where. All this fast running, the constant cut and paste of scenes looks all too modern and doesn’t fit the current time period of the movie and it surely doesn’t transmit the way of fighting of that period. 

Moreover, we get lots of flashback-lesson learning scenes throughout the movie. This is another fashion in movies lately, playing the film in the present time while at the same time jumping back and forth between flashbacks. It spends a good portion of the movie with these flashbacks. This is not a big issue and admirable per se but when these scenes are insignificant because they’re glossed over and transmitted without zilch emotion, then why even bother to include them in the first instance?

As a last comment, I like the fact that they hired Chinese actors and actresses for the movie (although I don’t know why it had to be in English, I’d have preferred it to be in Chinese, it’s not like we’re allergic to subtitles - unless they’re not done properly), some of them of renewed name, like Gong Li, Rosalind Chao (I loved her in The Joy Luck Club), Jet Li, Donnie Yen (legendary Ip Man), Jason Scott Lee (saw him in Dragon: The Bruce Lee Story), Tzi Ma but they won’t be able to save the movie even with a great cast like this one. 

[a-sleepy-reader]

The Alchemist by Paulo Coehlo: an Analysis and Review

Foreword

If you want a review free of spoilers, please scroll to the section labelled ‘Conclusion/Review without spoilers.’

Introduction

Few modern novels have been as celebrated in the mainstream media as Paulo Coehlo’s The Alchemist. It has been praised by Publisher’s Weekly, Booklist, and Kenzaburo Oe, winner of the Nobel Prize in Literature. 

“The story has the comic charm, dramatic tension, and psychological intensity of a fairy tale, but it’s full of specific wisdom as well… a sweetly exotic tale for young and old alike.”

-Publisher’s Weekly

The Alchemist has the tone of a children’s book and the genre of a fable taking place centuries ago, with wisdoms claimed to be as old as its setting. So, does The Alchemist deliver on these high hopes?

Plot synopsis

Santiago seems disheartened by his life as a Shepherd boy in Spain before he meets a wise and likely supernatural king. The king tells Santiago that he must follow his personal legend(life purpose), which is to travel to the Egyptian pyramids in search of treasure. Santiago has dreamt of the pyramids and treasure before and takes this as affirmation that traveling to such a place is his life purpose. The shepherd boy sells his sheep and takes to selling crystals for money before he sets out on his journey and encounters The Englishman. He is an alchemist looking for the wisest practicer in his field, promptly titled ‘The Alchemist.’ The two set out on camels and stop at an oasis, where Santiago instantly falls in love with a woman named Fatima. The Englishman also manages to find his coveted alchemist, who shares many wisdoms with the two, for example, that, in this world, the language of the world is the spiritual communication of all beings, such as omens and body language. The Alchemist urges Santiago to follow his personal legend despite his bond to Fatima and, by proxy, the oasis. Though torn between staying with his love and realizing his personal legend, he sets out to the pyramids with The Alchemist. In the midst of their journey, however, Arabian soldiers capture them; Santiago is only spared his life by The Alchemist convincing the soldiers that Santiago will turn into wind. Santiago is able to communicate with the desert and summons a sandstorm that makes the soldiers let him go. At the pyramids, he is informed of a stranger's dream and personal legend, one of treasure waiting in Spain where Santiago began his journey. Realizing his treasure really required an appreciation not of a place but of given circumstances, Santiago plans to obtain his treasure and return to Fatima. 

Analysis

Coehlo says he is a catholic despite the fact that some of his beliefs do not align with traditional Catholicism. Many of his stances resemble that of spiritualism, such as a belief in omens, existentialism, and prophetic dreams. This explains many of The Alchemist’s themes, being as focused on personal legends and omens as it is. The Alchemist has many morals beyond very individualistic beliefs, however, such as faith in true love and soulmates, of a God, the purpose of life laying not in physical progress but in spiritual acceptance, and a disapproval of those too scared to pursue what they want, amongst others. Overall, however, I believe the book’s message can be boiled-down to ‘learn the language of the universe,’ that is, learn to interact with the spiritual world Coehlo believes in through means of personal legends and communicating with the world through omens.

Review

At first glance, The Alchemist looks like a simply-written yet sophisticated book; it has an understandable plot and writing style yet many morals, so who’s to say that it’s incomparable to works like The Little Prince by Antoine De Saint Exupery(I will be using that comparison often in this review)? Well, I think The Alchemist has the bones of an extraordinary fable like Exupery’s, but its meat is lacking. That is, I believe The Alchemist is a chaotic and underdeveloped mess of a book, The Little Prince but if it were written in a day or two. It had potential that was squandered by the lack of thought put into essential parts of storytelling, from its morals to its writing to its characters and tension. Let’s begin respectively. 

The Alchemist has few qualms with throwing an idea at the reader and presenting it as a conclusion rather than a speculation or the beginning of a well-developed theory for the reader to elaborate on themselves. For example, omens are integral to The Alchemist, and since the novel is advertised as a sort of self-help book with a plot, one would expect Coehlo to try and tie this idea in to the real world somehow or at least provide some reasoning for why he believes this aside from omens only obvious in The Alchemist. No such evidence or support is provided; omens are obviously present in The Alchemist but their validity relies on the nature of their being in the book unfounded or more difficult to find in the real world, and Coehlo never even explains why he believes in omens, so it’s a setup for nothing. This is a common theme throughout The Alchemist, from its support of personal legends to prophetic dreams to love at first sight to the language of the universe, Coehlo relies on the sheer obviousness of the world he made to get his points across and loses their potential support in the process. This harm’s the book’s philosophies regardless of whether they are accurate or not. 

Adding to the novel’s problems, the writing itself(that is, the English translation) is not very good. Now, I want to make something clear: a book doesn’t need to be Nabokovian to have good writing. One can use very common words and simple sentence structures and be better writers than the greats if they write wisely and make the most of its simplicity. The Little Prince has a simple writing style, but it flows with believable dialogue, clever metaphors, and good pacing. Compare those qualities to this excerpt from The Alchemist: 

“The first day passed. There was a major battle nearby, and a number of wounded were brought back to the camp. The dead soldiers were replaced by others, and life went on. Death doesn’t change anything, the boy thought.”

This paragraph is clunky. Sentences that could have led from one to the next in a steady, effortless rhythm instead clash and seem to be thrown together to form a mix of disconnected and boring facts. This could have been written so much more interestingly; does Santiago feel bad for the soldiers? Does he feel guilty for not helping with the battle? What did the wounded look like? How does he feel? A running problem in The Alchemist is how emotionally barren it is. True, I still would have grilled Coehlo if he wrote ‘Santiago is sad,’ but that is because the point could have been gotten across more subtly and believably: ‘The metallic stench of blood weighed on Santiago,’ for example. Expanding on this, let’s see what happens when I add my personal interpretation of how this paragraph could have been more fluent and emotionally powerful;

“The soldiers fought through the day and through the night, only that and the growing stench marking the time. A time-marker of blood, of hope, of death, of the many qualities of the people in the oasis, shattered to sand. Once those grains were gone, more rushed to the battlefield, sandstorm after sandstorm, life after life, gone. In the end, though, it changed nothing. Blood, hope, and death never really do.” 

By no means do I think this is perfect, but I think it goes to show a sliver of how much can be accomplished with relatively simple writing styles; they do not have to be clunky, they do not have to be bland, and they can get a point across and convey emotion at the same time. 

Then again, even if Coehlo’s prose was Nabokovian, this would not erase the blandness, homogeneity and monotony of his characters. Now, I found Santiago’s personality to be enjoyable enough; Coehlo represented his longing for something beyond the fields of Andalusia, his metaphorical mind as well as his determination yet uncertainty in life well enough. I have no problem with Santiago, but it would be very nice if every character in the book weren’t Santiago. What character doesn’t believe in the universal language? Who ever challenges Santiago’s certainties? When is Santiago not only mistaken in the way he goes about pursuing his personal legend but in an integral part of his worldview? I will summarize all three with these words; ‘noone,’ ‘never,’ and, ‘never - again!’ Everyone in this book nods along to Santiago’s beliefs; if the universal language is so rare, why does everyone agree on it? The characters feel less like individuals and more like fourth-wall breaks for Coehlo to dump yet another underdeveloped idea on the reader or pat himself on the back about how everyone in a fictional world he made agrees with him. Maybe if one or two characters opposed Santiago’s beliefs, made him question, realign or maybe even change his worldview, The Alchemist would feel more like the philosophical contemplation it was marketed as and less like a spiritualist self-help book with a plot. Instead, however, Santiago accomplishes his personal legend and has each of his beliefs solidified by every single character in the book. Where’s the internal struggle? Where’s the idea that things may not always be as they seem, that humans make mistakes? Such themes are forgotten in the world of The Alchemist.

I give The Alchemist by Paulo Coehlo a 30%. 

Conclusion/Review without spoilers

I had a rough time with this book. The wise, helpful, and insightful self-help it was sold as did not deliver on any of those qualities for me due to its portrayal of very subjective values as universal truths without any evidence or reasoning provided for them outside the universe of the book and poor writing. Despite all this, I understand how this book has helped many, especially those who already had beliefs similar to Coehlo’s. Beyond my relentless criticisms, The Alchemist is a hopeful fable of finding your purpose in the world. It may not have connected to me, but it is no coincidence that celebrities call it a favorite, that it’s a bestseller, and is beloved amongst many. This review evaluated The Alchemist’s objective value, to which I say that it is bad literature. Subjectively, though, it impacted so many people, it motivated, it inspired, and no matter how many bland characters, lazy writings and oversimplified answers it may have, I will forever admire The Alchemist for touching so many people. After all, what is literature but a communication of one’s self, of sharing that self with others for them to internalise and keep a personalised fragment of this person within them?

I recommend The Alchemist to those in need of a meaning in life, who don’t want to wade through dense prose and complex stories or characters. Sometimes, all we really need, all we really should have, is something that keeps us going in life. I’m sure The Alchemist will fulfil that for many, and for that, I am forever grateful.

[stereogeekspodcast]

[Transcript] Season 1, Episode 3. What’s New – The New Mutants

We had thoughts about The New Mutants, few of them good. There were some enjoyable moments, which we discuss, along with sharing our thoughts on what could have been better. 

Spoiler alert: we will be talking about the entire film.

Content warning: some of the content in the film can be triggering, please proceed with caution.

Listen to the episode on Anchor.

[Continuum by Audionautix plays]

Ron:  Hello and welcome to Episode Three of Stereo Geeks. Today we'll be talking about what’s new in pop culture.

Mon: I’m Mon.

Ron: I'm Ron.

Mon: And this week we’re talking about The New Mutants.

Ron: This is a spoiler alert because we’ll be talking about the entire film, including the ending, so if you haven’t watched it yet, please watch the whole thing and then come back and listen to our podcast.

Please note, we will be discussing some triggering topics as contained within the film so, proceed with caution.

Ron: This film was initially intended for release in 2018, having been filmed in 2017, but it languished in production hell till 2020.

Mon: This year, it finally hit theaters, but because it was in the middle of the pandemic, most of us didn't go and watch it. Now that it's out on digital, we have some thoughts.

The film begins with Danielle Moonstar, played by Blu Hunt escaping the decimation of her village. She wakes up in a rehabilitation center, which is for mutants.

She is one of five students being supervised by Dr Cecilia Reyes, played by Alice Braga. The other students are Illyana Rasputin, played by Anya Taylor Joy; Rahne Sinclair by, played by Maisie Williams, Roberto Da Costa, played by Henry Zaga, and Sam Guthrie, played by Charlie Heaton. Let's talk about plot!

The film follows Dani as she gets to know these other mutants around her, tries to figure out what her power is, and tries to survive Dr Reyes’ experiments. Ron: There isn't much plot to speak of. It's very much a setup film, though there isn't any reason for us to believe that there's going to be a New Mutants 2. The majority of the film is spent with Danielle getting to know her fellow mutants and exploring their relationships. Though I would say that even there, the film doesn't really do a great job.

Mon: Yeah, there's a huge focus on the central relationship between Dani and Rahne. But the other characters, they're more antagonistic or just in the background. So it doesn't really develop her relation with them.

Ron: Yes, it comes across very much like the new girl being bullied, especially by Illyana though, that really doesn't do justice to the character as she appears in the comics. So, that was a bit of a surprise. Speaking of the backstories of these characters, we would say that really Rahne is the only one who has a similar backstory to the one that she has in the comics.

Mon: In the comics, Rahne comes from a small, very rigid, very religious community, and they freak out when she turns into a werewolf, because of her mutation. That backstory remains the same in the film, except now she’s been branded as a witch.

Ron: I didn't mind that particular inclusion. I think that made sense within the scope of the story. The other characters, there is no similarity between their stories in the film, and how we got to know them in the comic books.

Mon: Let's start with Dani herself. Why is there no mother in the picture? Ron: In the ‘Demon Bear’ storyline, which this movie is based on, Dani loses both her parents, and that actually does play a very large part in the conclusion. But the film only focuses on her father in the very opening scene, which was not edited very well, and we see him later on as well. Mon: Let's talk about Roberto.

Ron: I have to say I was so, so disappointed in Roberto Da Costa in this film. Sunspot was my favorite new mutant and the character in the film doesn't resemble the comic book character at all. Especially not his backstory which plays such an important part in not only his mutant powers, but the way he engages with the world.

Mon: I think the first warning that they wouldn't be doing ‘Berto correctly was the casting of Henry Zaga.

Ron: I'm sure Zaga is a very good actor. I haven't seen him in anything else, but I'm sure he's very talented. Unfortunately, he doesn't look anything like Sunspot in the comics. There is one integral part of his character arc that is completely missing from this film because Zaga has been cast in it.

Let me explain. In the comics, Roberto Da Costa belongs to a very rich family. He doesn't really understand his privilege. But he is also very dark skinned. Because of this, despite his privilege, he is bullied. It is while being bullied by fellow classmates that his powers activate.

Mon: ‘Berto in the comics is Afro-Latino, but they refused to cast character an actor who reflected the same heritage in the film, and that really does him a great disservice. Because race is an important part of ‘Berto’s characterization in the comics, but it's completely forgotten and the backstory that Berto is given in the film is boring. It is staid and it is another example of fridging.

Ron: In the film, Sunspot’s powers activate when he is having a romantic moment with his girlfriend, thus killing her in the most awful way possible. So, not only do they erase an extremely important part of his characterization, but they fridge his girlfriend who is then used as horror movie-material later on. Mon: Let's move on to Sam Guthrie. So, Sam is kind of the pseudo-leader in the comics. He's conveniently the leader because, I feel like the writers, at the time, weren't sure who they could give it to so they gave it to the southern white guy.

In the comics, he's very happy, he's a very positive guy. He's had hardships in his life, but he never lets it bring him down. He struggles with his powers, he's a cannonball, quite literally, and it's a difficult power to master. The film touches on the fact that Sam still struggles with mastering his power, but he's given this broody, overly dark backstory, which doesn't do the character any justice. Sam's storyline in the film really should have come with some kind of warning. Because Sam is essentially self-harming throughout. He's in a cast constantly, he is seen punching himself. Basically, it's quite disturbing to watch what happens. And it comes without context, and we'll come to the fact that a lot of what happens in the film is without context.

What we learn is that Sam was working in the mines with his father and several other men, and his powers accidentally activated and he killed, not only the other men, but also his father, and he's obviously struggling with what happened. And, and he's taking it out on himself. He's not able to grow, learn, or attach himself to anybody. So, this was a huge departure, again, from the comics.

Ron: And then finally we come to Illyana, whose backstory is also extremely different from the comics. When we first meet her, she is a very small child, who ends up in limbo and spends her formative years in that hellhole. But when she's rescued which is a few seconds after her disappearance, she's a teenager.

None of that, obviously made it into this film, understandably, because the budgets would not have allowed for it, though we do get glimpses of limbo. However, Illyana’s backstory appears to be about her being trapped somewhere and being abused. What did you think about her backstory?

Mon: I didn't feel like it was necessary to have that kind of backstory. What I will say is that this is the subtlest way of suggesting any kind of assault or abuse on any kind of character. They really worked hard to be sensitive to the topic, but at the same time I have to ask, why did Illyana need that backstory in the first place? Why can’t she just come from a poor Russian home? Why couldn't it be like a Dostoyevsky story? She didn't need that kind of background.

And I also felt like there were maybe one too many hints about what happened to her. I understand the need to pare down Illyana’s rather complicated, fantastical comic book origins, but they went the other extreme by making it a little too realistic.

Ron: They tried to marry some of the realistic elements of childhood abuse that we see in real life with the fantastical elements of her childish imagination of what these monsters were. I think that worked for them. But to keep coming back and for us to keep seeing small Illyana in that room, there were one too many moments that would have been triggering for anybody who has been in that situation in their life. So, basically there are two instances in this film where they should have added content warnings, and they had three years to do that, but they didn't.

Mon: And that's not the only thing they didn't fix in the three years. The CGI is terrible! When you're talking about a comic book adaptation, especially with the New Mutants, who are more fantastical, and have more imaginative powers, that requires a lot of special effects. I was disappointed with what we saw. We didn't actually see their powers in action as much as we saw some of the horror elements, and I'm sorry but that is the worst CGI I've seen.

After people have been shouting about how hard they've been working to make this product the best that they can, it honestly feels like this movie was made and somebody forgot about what to do with it. And then they just kept playing hot potato with it. They didn't embellish it, nothing. It's not like they tried very hard to make it the best story possible.

Ron: And I think the other problem is that from the very first previews, people had strong reactions to Zaga, to Heaton. There were a lot of people who were upset that an Afro-Latino character had been replaced by somebody who was lighter skinned. This is colorism and 2020 may have put colorism in the spotlight, but, in 2017, this was definitely something that people knew about.

There were also a lot of concern about Heaton’s casting. He was hot off the success of Stranger Things; it made sense to cast him in a movie like this. But he doesn't fit Sam Guthrie at all! I was extremely disappointed in Zaga and Heaton in this film. Not only did they not look like the characters, they had so little to do. 

The burden of carrying this film really fell on Blu Hunt and Maisie Williams. They did a good job. But there were also a lot of problematic elements around them. So, whatever they were doing was undone. For instance, Illyana is unnecessarily antagonistic towards Dani. She's also racist. She keeps calling her Pocahontas!

They did a good job. But there were also a lot of problematic elements around them. So, whatever they were doing was undone. For instance, Illyana is unnecessarily antagonistic towards Dani. She's also racist. She keeps calling her Pocahontas!

Mon: Yeah, I found that very disturbing and I didn't see any need for that.

Ron: Absolutely not. And 2017 was one year after Trump was elected. He made a lot of Pocahontas comments soon after coming into power. And a lot of people were very, very upset about that, and they were very vocal about that. Why would they put this into the film?

Mon: I think the whole ‘Pocahontas’ thing in the film is kind of reflective of how the director seems quite blinkered in his view? We have the Zaga issue. We have the racist comments against Dani Moonstar, as well. But there's a character missing in this film from the comics and she's integral!

Xi’an Coy Manh, who is the mutant Karma, is a Vietnamese immigrant who becomes the leader of the group. She is conspicuously missing from this film. Why is the Asian mutant, who was such an important part of the comics missing from the film?

Ron: I understand that for the majority of the ‘Demon Bear’ storyline, Xi’an was not there. But if you're making a film which introduces this particular group, you've got to have her.

Mon: I completely agree with you on that. It makes no sense. We were talking about how Heaton and Zaga really don't do much in film. I have to say, this is probably the first time I've seen a genre film where the two boys spend most of the time cleaning dishes and washing clothes, whereas the girls seem to be driving the story forward. It's hinted at that ‘Berto and Sam are becoming close friends, but you don't really see much of the relationship; it's just one montage where they're having a little bit of fun, but the three girls, there's a lot more to their relationship, especially between Blue Hunt’s Dani Moonstar and Maisie Williams’ Rahne Sinclair.

Ron: I was pleasantly surprised that from nowhere, we got this queer relationship. And it comes off the fact that Blu and Maisie obviously have a lot of chemistry. So, the film just went with it. From the very first time that Dani and Rahne see each other, there's this connection. And it just grows throughout the film, and they become a couple.

Mon: I couldn't believe it because, in the books, they're pretty much written as straight. Romance isn't a huge part of their storylines. But in this film, it's there from the very beginning. There's a scene soon after Danny wakes up, and she's struggling to cope with the death of her father, the death of her entire village, and Rahne really talks her down. It's really sweet, this interaction between two young people who are struggling to find themselves in a world that doesn't make sense. And it’s also a little bit funny.

Ron: In any other film, one of the characters would have been a man. But here, it's two girls. And it's one of the nicest moments in the entire film. Once again, a trigger warning is required. But it's a great moment. Because we have seen so many superhero films, and we're still waiting for those queer characters. And it didn't feel forced at all.

Mon: It definitely because, as you mentioned, the actors had so much chemistry between them. It's a friendly chemistry, and the story doesn't try too hard. It makes sure that they come together because they understand each other. Because Rahne is such a kindly character and Dani needs that at that point, she needs somebody who can just understand. And she also needs to know that other people are also suffering in some way, they have their own pain, so that she can open up herself.

Ron: I also liked was there were no salacious comments, no maliciousness towards that relationship.

Mon: They were no gratuitous scenes.

Ron: Exactly, especially when the characters are young, you know, it would have been very disturbing to watch that. We anyway had the whole thing with Illyana’s backstory. One of the things that we really get to see in genre cinema, that even if you have queer characters, if everybody around them is like, ‘oh, you're queer, or gay or trans’, that ruins the moment, because that is again singling out the marginalized character. We also need to talk about how them being a couple isn't the only driving force behind their characterizations. It is a part of what makes them grow and brings them closer. But it also plays a part in resolving some of the issues in the plot.

Mon: So, here's the problem. While this beautiful little love story is fleshed out throughout the film, everything else got left behind. There isn't really anything else. Even if this was supposed to be a character driven story, or a relationship building story, those are also left by the wayside. Because Illyana is antagonistic, when she comes to Dani aide, it's supposed to be seen as she's coming to help Dani out of a newfound-love for Dani, but it's not true. And I couldn't actually read it that way.

Mon: When I was watching the film, I couldn't understand why Illyana suddenly had this change of heart. She'd managed to fight the monsters from her childhood that had come to come to life. But why did that make her feel like she had to fight for Dani? It seemed more like all the other characters, barring Rahne, were fighting for survival. Ron: I agree. Even Sunspot. When he's in the church, it doesn't seem like he's trying to save Dani, or he's trying to help the others. He's just trying to protect himself. And Sam seems to have so little control over his powers that whatever he does do is always by accident.

What I also feel is that we've been skirting around the issue of the plot. And the problem is that there isn't much plot here. The structure of the story goes something like this. Dani meets her fellow mutants. They try to get to know each other. Mysterious things seem to be happening, and they all seem to be related to everybody's worst fears. As the film continues, we realized that those manifestations have a connection with Dani. And then we finally learn that Dani’s greatest fear is the demon bear.

Mon: The final arc of the film is the demon bear attacking the facility and Dani is incapacitated, which leaves the rest of the team to fight off the demon bear and protect her at the same time. This brings the team together, but it brings them together more for their own survival than for the protection of Dani or for any emotional connection that they have to her.

Ron: Also, the stakes in some ways aren't very high. We are used to seeing the very formulaic superhero ending on this huge battleground, so many faceless people in danger having to be protected. And this is much smaller. The new mutants are fighting their own inner demons. And that works in some ways, but it's also not earned. Mon: I think the lack of payoff in this film comes from the fact that there is no context to what we've seen. The context always comes after the fact. We see Sam self-harming but why? We don't find out until several scenes later. We see Illyana being haunted by these scary creatures. But who are they? Why do they look like that? We don't get an answer to that. Most of the other manifestations, they do become more realistic. Whereas with Illyana’s, for some reason, it remains these otherworldly creatures.

Ron: I kept thinking that at some point, especially in the third act, that the monsters would transform into people we would see that the people who were harming her were actually real men.

Mon: Either that, or it was all in limbo, and that’s why they looked like that. But we don't know because limbo is just hinted at during the last section of the film. We get glimpses of a lot of hellfire but not much else.

Ron: The only remaining aspect of limbo in the real world is Lockheed. For the longest time, he’s just a stuffed toy and then randomly in one scene, he turns into a real dragon.

Mon: As real as bad CGI can make it, anyway.

Ron: It’s sad honestly. We love Lockheed in the comics, but also Lockheed belongs to Kitty. So, why is Lockheed here with Illyana? I don't know.

Mon: I'd argue that that was an Easter egg that didn't belong.

Ron: Yes, and seeing Lockheed look like that was super disappointing. They had three years to get this film on our screens, they couldn't fix Lockheed? They didn't actually do anything once it was filmed once it was packaged, once that first preview came out. They just put it on a shelf and waited for it to be released in theaters.

Mon: Disappointing indeed. What are the other comic book elements that you spotted in the film?

Ron: Well, when we saw Dr Reyes’ screen, we could see Essex Corp. It took me a second before I realized that Essex Corp meant Nathaniel Essex, aka Mr. Sinister.

Mon: And throughout, Dr Reyes kept hinting at how her supervisor was in charge and we knew that she was basically following his orders. Since this mysterious character is such a fan-favourite and a huge part of the X-Men comics, we were expecting, at the end, perhaps a little glimpse of the man himself?

Ron: There have been X-Men stories where Nathaniel Essex has been part of the background and then right in the very last panel, there he is standing there in all his glory. We were kind of hoping for that to happen and we waited till the end of the credits. Nothing.

Mon: The film is connected to the main X-Men film universe. There are glimpses of where these young mutants are going to be taken, and these are scenes from Logan. The corporation from which Logan rescues X-23. They were obviously hoping for a larger universe which would include the new mutants, but it never came to fruition.

Ron: Which is again making me wonder, what was the point of this film? It doesn't really give us an hoped for New Mutants 2. In fact, once they have defeated the demon bear, and they've managed to get rid of Dr Reyes, they're leaving the facility, but they have no idea where they're going. As far as they know, there's nothing around them for miles. So, what is the point?

Mon: My biggest struggle with this film is that the new mutants do not lend themselves to a film or a film trilogy. The new mutants should be a TV series.

Ron: Especially since it has a large cast of characters. And if you had added the other characters, you would have had a good number of people to follow. That'll make for great television. I'm thinking about The Gifted, which was an X-Men spinoff. Unfortunately, it was canceled after two seasons but I enjoyed it. Not everybody else did, but I did. And that showed how an X-Men story in television form could work.

Mon: The thing with the X-Men universe is that it's an expansive universe and new characters are constantly being added to it. So, you can't reproduce that universe in just a few films. While the X-Men films, some of them have been very successful, but several of the characters were underserved. Cyclops is the leader in the comics; he got short shrift in the films. Jean Grey is a very powerful character in the comics, and she spends most of her time standing and waving her arms.

While the main X-Men series can still be carried by a handful of actors, with The New Mutants, they are a group, they're a band of youngsters who spend a lot of time getting to know each other and build their friendships together. The whole point of these characters is not just that they have to explore their powers, they also have to explore their own youth. They are young people that are growing up; they need to find out who they are as people. For these characters, the film being a one off, or even if it was supposed to be a trilogy, it doesn't work. The new mutants need to have episodic stories, which were the central theme of the comics.

Ron: It shouldn't be a horror story. I understand where they were going with that. Even within the comic books, the ‘Demon Bear’ storyline does lend itself to suspense but it's also very tragic. I think we need to move away from instilling fear in the viewer, and more about instilling some hope.

Mon: I also feel like the final product didn't quite live up to the anticipation of the original previews. The first trailer that we saw, it really made it look like the classic horror stories that we are so used to seeing. They're stuck in an asylum and scary creatures are coming at them. That's not what we got.

Ron: This was ‘Jumpscares: The Mutant Movie’. Especially that Sunspot scene in the swimming pool, with him and Illyana, which never happens in the comics, and it came off as super gross.

Mon: I still can't figure out whether that was Illyana or that was his imagination.

Ron: That's what I'm saying! ;Jumpscares: The Mutant Movie’. Look, in a horror film, you can have your own kind of logic, but that logic needs to follow a certain pattern. That scene didn't follow any pattern. It seemed like just an excuse for Henry Zaga to take his clothes off, which is not necessary in this film at all. And to put him and Illyana together as a potential couple, which also didn't work because the two characters had no chemistry. And there was no reason for them to want to be together. Mon: Yes, it is just one of the many, many missteps. Surprisingly, I don't feel like this film was the worst film ever made. I would say that it was a poor choice of subject matter and poor execution.

Ron: It's not a bad film. It's just boring. It doesn't try to push any boundaries. The only area where they did something different was with the relationship between Dani and Rahne and but aside from that, the story is very limited in its scope. And for that reason, having just seen The New Mutants, we are struggling to remember parts of it. Mon: So, let us know, what did you think about the New Mutants?

Ron: You can find us on Twitter @Stereo_Geeks. Or send us an email stereogeekspodcast@gmail.com

Ron: We hope you enjoyed this episode. And see you next week!

Mon: The Stereo Geeks logo was created using Canva. The music for our podcast comes courtesy Audionautix.

[Continuum by Audionautix plays]

Transcription by Otter.ai and Ron.

[defectivenancydrew]

MID Review (finally)

Now that I’ve had a while to reflect on MID, I feel like I can give an honest, spoiler-free review. This turned out to be a much more in-depth review than I had planned on doing, but you can just read the italics at the end of each section if you just want the gist.

Controls: Okay, so for like the first fifteen minutes (or however long it takes you to adjust), the controls are frustrating. Once you get used to how to move (and it is still point-and-click), you’ll be fine. The only thing that I still didn’t have a solid grasp of by the end of the game was moving Nancy’s head around with the right mouse button--it might have helped to slow the mouse down for this function. That being said, the controls offer a lot to the game. The environments and navigation feel more realistic, and instead of jumping from scene to scene, Nancy slides through the space. It’s weird at first, but it’s ultimately superior. (Just for kicks, I went back and played a bit of LIE as a comparison, and the jumpy movement felt so weird after the smoothness of MID). Controls get a 8/10 for the steep learning curve and the more realistic movement.

Graphics: They’re not that bad, okay? On high render, the environments actually look really good and the characters are decent (low render is an understandably different story). Given the technical reasons behind the graphics looking as the do (full 3D render here versus painstakingly painted video files before), I don’t think that they’re really that bad. Puzzle renders and zoomed-in items/POIs really shine, appearing arguably better than previous games. It’s also important to consider what SCK/STFD look like compared to SEA--MID obviously looks better than SCK/STFD, but it has room for improvement. Just like the development team refined the graphics on their proprietary engine, they will refine the graphics on Unity over time. Again, looking back to the first three games, there is a huge jump in graphics quality between each game, indicating their ability to improve quickly. I’m willing to best that the next game (yes, I believe there will be a ‘next game’) will look much better than MID, and so on from there. Character renders are not as great, but this, too, is likely to improve and is probably also due to the fact that it’s 3D and not a painted video file. Their movements may be awkward, but the fact that they are mo-cap means that they may improve in future games. The only real gripe I have about the characters is the lack of facial expressions. Graphics get a 7/10 for up-close realism and room for improvement.

Performance: If you have a gaming PC or a relatively new device, you should be golden. The game runs smoothly at high render on my 2018/i7/SSD PC, but has some lagging issues at high render on my 2014/i5/HDD PC (issues that all but disappear by adjusting to low render). For those with older PCs or PCs with less processing-power, you may have to deal with way-off lip-syncs and choppy cut scenes if you also want to see the best possible graphics. The game only crashed once on my older PC (and it was more likely due to unrelated background processes I was running), but the autosave feature prevents crashes from being anything more than a brief annoyance. Performance gets a 6/10 for high requirements and the Sophie’s Choice of graphics or speed.

UI: I love the sleek, full-screen appearance and minimalist inventory/phone bar. If I had to ask for any improvements here, I might suggest that the inventory collapse into a bag icon when it’s not in use. UI gets 10/10 for maximizing space and minimizing distractions.

Environment (independent of graphics): HeR definitely stepped up their game (heh) on this front. While there are arguably no more locations to explore than in SEA, the environment is far more expansive and cohesive. You feel like you are in a small town (Salem), and you have the freedom to explore all the relevant places without jumping around or magically transporting. There’s only one location that is distant from the town center, and Nancy travels via car to get back and forth, which adds a dose of realism. We have our usual forest navigation (though it is mercifully straight-forward, unlike DOG or CAP), with the added bonus of looking around and using it to get from one place to another. The game makes good use of each space, though it’d be nice if there was more to do in certain lesser-used locations. Some of the locations really only seemed to be present to flesh out the whole environment--which is fine--but it’d be nice to utilize those locations a bit more. And when graphics are set high, the environments are quite stunning. The lighting and weather also do a good job of reinforcing the current atmosphere in-game. Environment gets a 9/10 for cohesion and light usage.

Characters (independent of graphics, story): This is probably one of the spots where MID won me over. Not only do we have eleven (11!) official characters, we have background characters that make the setting real! I didn’t count, but there were probably 10+ background characters that were present for minor commentary and realistic liveliness. For the first time in a Nancy Drew game, I wasn’t questioning where the rest of the world was. Yes, their movements were awkward and if your computer couldn’t handle the graphics, then their lips were flapping in mysterious ways, but they moved around and interacted with each other in semi-human ways. It is absolutely baffling to me that there are people who think there were too many characters. For one thing, we as fans asked HeR for more characters and that’s what they gave us. For another, the game never felt crowded. There were seven characters that were considered “main” that you interacted with often, three side characters that you interacted with occasionally, and one character that you only interacted with once. If they hadn’t been fully-formed characters with solid backstories, I might be persuaded that the number was an issue, but almost all of the characters were fully- or mostly-developed. Characters gets a 10/10 for quantity and quality.

Puzzles: This is probably the one facet of the game where it is most clear that HeR listened to fans’ requests. We asked for more realistic puzzles that were integrated into the game play and not totally irrelevant. That’s what we got. For some people, I think this made it seem like there were fewer puzzles, but I think there were just as many as before, it just wasn’t always super obvious that you were solving a puzzle (and they all but eliminated chore-type puzzles). The cooking mini game and serving mini game were both fun, nostalgic time-wasters in the best of ways. Another nice thing about the puzzles was that they weren’t super difficult as long as you were paying attention, so there wasn’t any need to google solutions or get frustrated. Puzzles get a 9/10 for fan service and perception (after all, perception is reality).

Story: MID really shines when it comes to the story line. The game delves into the full history of Salem, rightfully choosing to discuss topics that were always skirted in earlier games (prejudice, discrimination, slavery, torture, etc.). My only issue regarding the presentation of history is that a lot of the learning is optional, and can be easily ignored or missed. The actual story line of the game is well-established and doesn’t have any gaping plot holes (at least that I noticed on my first play through). There are multiple crimes to solve, multiple items to recover, and thus multiple endings/outcomes to achieve. I can’t go into too much more detail without spoiling parts of the game, but suffice it to say that the story has depth and gravity that might even place it ahead of previous games. Story gets a 10/10 for more mature themes and multiple, successfully interweaving story lines.

Dialogue: While the content of the dialogue is great and forms the foundation for much of the story, it loses me in presentation. First, the line-by-line captioning system is awkward at best, and a monologue behind at worst. I see no reason not to present the player with sentences or paragraphs at a time as before. Second, dialogue options are not so much options as dialogue tasks. You have questions you can ask, but there is no choice of how to ask them or how to respond to an answer. For the most part, you are just choosing the order in which to ask things. This, in my opinion, is a step backward from the previous games, where Nancy could be optimistic, pessimistic, direct, or passive-aggressive. Lastly, there is a strange lack of subject in Nancy’s sentence structure at times. She says “should do xyz” instead of “I should do xyz,” or “wanted to ask about abc” instead of “I wanted to ask you about abc.” While this isn’t really too weird in the context of modern speech patterns, it is still a little awkward. There are examples of this in previous games when Nancy speaks to herself, but never in dialogue with other characters. Again, this isn’t a big deal, but it crops up enough to make it noticeably strange. Dialogue gets a 6/10 for solid content and poor presentation.

Music: At first, the music seems to be nothing special; the main theme is quiet, unassuming, and a bit repetitive at times. But much like the rest of the game, it gets better as you progress. The music in Luminous Infusions and at the end of the game really stick out as great pieces, although the rest of the tracks are also very well-composed. There is thematic continuity between tracks and the tracks also reflect the game’s current atmosphere well. The music, while from a new composer, is still reminiscent of the old games, particularly the mystical tracks in CUR. I’m hoping HeR releases a soundtrack for MID in the future, but I do know there are no current plans for an official soundtrack (though you can find unofficial ones on YouTube pretty easily). Music gets a 10/10 for quality and cohesion.

Nancy: Nancy finally sounds like the late teen that she is meant to be! Nancy is witty and assertive, no longer speaking with the voice of a thirty-year-old and expressing the thoughts of a thirteen-year-old. The new voice actress is just what Nancy’s voice needed, in my opinion, though I have admittedly been a supporter of replacing Lani since about DED/GTH (don’t get me wrong, I love Lani and she will always be the classic voice of Nancy in my head, but I could also admit that her voice was losing its spark and pep). It takes a little while to get used to the new voice, but once it stops sounding different, it’s easy to fall in love with. Another great aspect of Nancy 2.0 is that she’s willing to get into it with other characters, even if they are in a position of authority. Nancy has always been an assertive character who stands up for what is right, even if it’s not easy to do. We see the return of this kind of Nancy in MID, and I hope we don’t lose her in future games. The only thing that I found a tad bit odd was how sugar-sweet Nancy was toward Deirdre. I like how their relationship was updated in order to model more appropriate/healthy female friendships, but it is a little weird considering the canon interaction model set forth by ASH and DED. Nancy’s other relationships have also matured and improved. Nancy gets a 10/10 for assertiveness and expressiveness.

Physical Copy: Well, almost two weeks after the release date, I finally got my physical copy of MID. This is unprecedented, as I always received physical pre-orders the day of or even the day before release. The long wait drove me to buy the digital download, which I didn’t mind doing, but this could be very frustrating for those not willing to pay for the game twice. I was disappointed to find that the disc art is just a copy of the cover art (which is minimalist at best), and not a characteristic color like the other games. The box art seems like it was put together at the last minute, not unlike the cover art. If it weren’t for my compulsive need to own all of the physical copies, I probably would have skipped it. Physical copy gets a 1/10 for slow delivery and lackluster appearance.

Weird Things to Complain About: Yes, there is one background character whose voice sounds like it was recorded on a Motorola Razr, but she says one sentence that you don’t even have to listen to. Yes, some of the background characters are overt clones, but we’ve never even had background characters to complain about before. Should there have been more to do in the Hathorne House or other one-off locations? Yeah, probably, but we were given a ton of locales to visit. The characters were always bobbing around and breathing, but--surprise!--this is something that real humans do. Did their feet/hands occasionally meld with other objects or the environment? Sure, but why were you looking at their feet during a conversation? Admittedly, Teegan sometimes looked like she was trying to scare off a bear or prepare for flight, even I can’t argue that that wasn’t odd. But for the most part, these are minor, petty issues. There weren’t gaping plot holes, there was actually a mystery to solve (looking at you, MED), and we got a lot of the things that we asked for over the years. There is always room for improvement, and this game is certainly no exception. I expect that the next game will make refinements based on our feedback and be even better. HeR completely changed the Nancy Drew game formula, but they used our input as a guide. They’ll take what we say about MID into consideration with the next game, and hopefully over time we will see the same level of improvement we saw from SCK to SEA. They started from scratch, and even though they had five years to work on it, the first time you try something new is almost always the worst. I don’t condone the way they treated us over the hiatus or how they treated their own staff, but I don’t think it’s time to abandon ship yet. If you play this game with nostalgia goggles on and a closed mind, you’re going to hate it, you’re going to ask for a refund. If you go into it with an open mind and excitement for something new, you might just find that you like MID more than you’d care to admit. Weird things to complain about gets an 8/10 for minor oddities that should be expected in a pilot endeavor.

Conclusion: Change is inevitable. If you were around when TMB came out, you might remember the absolute uproar that came with the UI change. People threatened to walk away from the series because of the new menu screen and bulkier interface. If you’ve played the original SCK and STFD, then you know how drastically the games improved over the span of a single year. And compare those games to SEA and it’s clear that the games are always improving. But you have to start (or in this case, restart) somewhere, and MID is our new starting point. The games will get better, and we’ll still find things to complain about (like we always do), because there is always room for improvement. There’s no point in lamenting about how good the game would have looked on the old engine, because that misses the point. The old engine could not deliver what we as fans desired. It could not handle more than six characters or more than eight hours (this is being generous) of game play. It couldn’t give us more expansive environments or smoother navigation. The new engine gave us all of these things, but sacrificed a bit of graphics. Big whoop. I’m willing to bet that none of us got into the games for their graphics, especially those of use who became fans early on in the games’ history. Bottom line? HeR gave us a good game. Not their best game, maybe not even one of their better games, but it’s certainly better than MED or SCKR. And hey, at least we finally got the game. Midnight in Salem gets an 80%, an admirable B-, because the effort and progress is there, but there are definitely things that they could have done better.

[ahiddenpath]

Addendum to “Chosen/Digimon Bond and Evolution”

I answered this great ask earlier today, but I kept chewing it over in the back of my mind...  And I realized that, while I discussed Digimon Adventure evolution lore to the best of my ability, I didn’t answer the question of how the Digimon/Chosen bond influences evolution!  And... that question is at the core of my thoughts on the Digimon/Chosen bond since reading the Kizuna novel, and also since viewing the Reboot up to ep 7. 

So...  Sorry about that!  Let me try again below the cut!

So, to recap my last response, I explained that Chosen partner digimon harness a child’s “energy” or “potential” through a digivice to evolve up to adult level on demand.  There seem to be no further requirements, unless you count the presence of danger; evolution is a large energy expense, and isn’t done for funsies.  Meanwhile, perfect evolution requires a Chosen to exemplify and internalize one of their specific traits/strengths in order to power up their digimon partner.  Presumably, this method of evolution is limited to Chosen who found a crest and internalized the trait it represents.  Ultimate evolution is triggered by the fulfillment of various prophecies.

But, even with all of that going on, there are “wild” digimon, unpartnered to humans, who can evolve as far as ultimate!  So????

So...  Uh, where is the Chosen/digimon bond in all of this????  Explicitly, a strong Chosen/digimon bond is never stated as a barrier/requisite for evolution, unless I’m very much mistaken!  The closest we’ve seen is that, when a Chosen is exhibiting cruel behavior towards their partner/twisting the purpose of evolution (Taichi/Skullgreymon) or is in a horrible mental state (Hikari/Ophanimon Falldown Mode), the evolution “fails” and produces a digimon that reflects the human partner’s actions or mental state.

Now, I think the audience is intended to understand that the partner digimon are the Chosen’s “other self.”  Over time, interacting with their “other selves” leads to the Chosen growing and learning about themselves, which is integral to perfect evolution.  So, the Chosen/digimon bond supports evolution by encouraging the development and growth of the human partner.  

And...  This is where the Chosen/digimon bond can be seen as...  A power imbalance favoring the humans.  The digimon exist to be the human’s partner, their other self, and to protect them and help them grow.  If you look at it that way...  Then maybe, when they disappear in Kizuna, it’s because their job is done.  Their Chosen partner no longer needs their protection and guidance as an adult; they have internalized everything the digimon partner can teach them.

Now, I haven’t seen the Kizuna movie- I only read the novel- but the Kizuna novel didn’t use this language.  It was explained as “the Chosen no longer has the potential of a child, which the partner digimon uses as fuel.”  And all of these ideas have been itching and bouncing in my brain, leading to the planning of a fic called Digimon Kizuna: Infinite Possibilities (you can read a teaser here, and expanded ideas here, but it all contains Kizuna novel spoilers).  Basically, I think that Infinite Possibilities refers to giving the partner digimon the agency and potential to exist on their own, and that it’s time for the Chosen/digimon bond to shift to an equal partnership, not the digimon totally supporting and living for the human.

And...  Episode 7 of the Reboot had that amazing line where Jyou says, “You’re my...  I’m YOUR partner.”  I’ve been feeling like the Reboot is giving the partner digimon a bit more agency upfront, and is maybe setting up a more equal partnership?  But it’s hard to say this early, it’s just the vibe I’m getting.

These ideas are important to me, and I’m really looking forward to exploring them!  Thanks again for a great ask, anon!

[timeagainreviews]

Sifting through the Dregs

For series twelve of Doctor Who, I have opted to take a casual approach. I've avoided spoilers as much as possible. Although I caught the trailers, and the odd press photo, I've managed to stay away from things as simple as episode descriptions, writers, or even episode titles. I want to come into each story with as little expectation as possible. This is so that I might avoid hype, both of the negative and positive varieties. So when I read the words "Part One," after "Spyfall," it was genuinely a surprise. And when I read the words "Orphan 55 by Ed Hime," I was suddenly very hopeful.

If you remember from series eleven, I was a big fan of Ed Hime's episode "It Takes You Away." I praised its brazen absurdity, likening it to something Douglas Adams may have done. The episode is rather divisive in the fandom, as some might call it one of the worst episodes ever. Obviously, I disagree. Ed Hime stands out to me as exactly the kind of writer Doctor Who needs. Someone with a bit of a taste for the absurd, while still managing to capture human moments. Ironic then, that despite my best efforts to approach the episode without expectation, the hype I would most contest with would be my own. Does "Orphan 55," live up to my expectations? Let's get into it!

As I said, Ed Hime lends a sort of mad weirdness to Doctor Who that I feel a certain section of writers possess. Think your Lawrence Mileses, your James Gosses, or even the occasional Steven Moffat. These are writers, who for better or worse understand one thing about Doctor Who- it's weird. Strangely, one of the common most aspects ignored by Doctor Who writers is the absurdity. A blue police box wrapped around an impossible machine, piloted by an ancient trickster somehow becomes mundane. Doctor Who's weirdness is an integral element that has been around since its inception. That's why when the gang gets teleported by a contest cube Graham has assembled, and the first person we meet is a furry, I feel we're already onto a good start. Especially when they just finished cleaning up the biggest calamari ever from the TARDIS floor. (Anyone else think of the Nestine Consciousness?)

Characters like "Hyphen with a 3" or "Hyph3n," remind me of some of the '80s era's odder characters. I could easily see her and her tail living in "Paradise Towers," or perhaps riding a bus in "Delta and the Bannermen." But another reason I love her is that she's not just a furry, it's part of her identity. You don't get the idea that she's an outlier like real-life Trekkie, Barbara Adams, who famously wore her Star Trek uniform to jury duty and her place of work. Instead, you get the feeling that in the future, people respect identities. To use Star Trek again, I remember watching an episode of "Star Trek: Enterprise," where the character Trip has a crisis over whether or not a girl "was a man." When you compare this to the dialogue we're having about transgender rights in 2020, you're automatically reminded that Enterprise came out in 2001. By today's standards, furries are still seeking acceptance. Seeing Hyp3n in a partial fursuit may seem absurd now, but in its own way, it's futuristic. How very Doctor Who.

Things in this future, however, aren't all progressive acceptance of our fine furry friends, there seems to be trouble in paradise. As I said, the gang is greeted by Hyp3n, a sort of porter for a relaxation destination called "Tranquility Spa." The companions immediately take to the spirit of things, as they settle in for a bit of rest and relaxation. The Doctor, of course, starts snooping around. Meanwhile, a security team of two, Kane and Vorm are responding to "another security breach." Whatever it is requires machine guns, which seems like quite a lot. And if you're like me you'll spend the next half hour trying to figure out where you've seen Kane before. I'll help you out- it was Lydia from Breaking Bad. You're welcome. I just saved you a trip to IMDb.

The next scene introduces us to a concept that will run strong within this episode- Yaz as a gooseberry. We see a couple of pensioners, Benni and Vilma, enjoying their spa getaway. Just as Benni is about to ask Vilma to marry him, Yaz stands right between them. I mean, I know the pool is for everyone, but read the vibe, Yaz. Jeez. Meanwhile, Ryan is checking out the interior of Tranquility Spa. The bar looks like the kind of place art vampires go to get lemongrass enemas. It reminded me a lot of "The Leisure Hive," with a budget, or even a more modern twist on the Centre of Leisure from "Time and the Rani. So much of this episode reminded me of classic Doctor Who.

Ryan notices a vending machine, but as he's retrieving his food is infected by a hopper virus. The Doctor explains the virus is capable of jumping from computers to humans. After expelling it from his system, the Doctor bags it to take to whoever is in charge. While Ryan is sucking his thumb to reduce the hallucinogenic side effects of the virus, he sees a cutie in a similar situation, a young woman by the name of Belle. It's pretty obvious at this point that Belle is to be a sort of romantic interest for Ryan, and who can blame him? She lives up to her namesake!

Everyone is rounded up for a "tranquillity drill," to a safe location while Kane and Vorm run through the lobby with their guns in tow. As with most companions, travelling with the Doctor embeds a deeper curiosity. Much like the Doctor would, Ryan questions what type of drill requires guns. This question entices Belle to follow him as they investigate. I really liked this pairing of the two of them as their chemistry was natural, despite Ryan's repeated failures at chatting her up. It only added to their charm.

The Doctor confronts Hyp3n who seems just about as confused and nervous as many of the guests. Whatever she's hiding is only because she's been instructed to by her superiors. Considering the hopper virus and drill, the Doctor deduces that the spa is under attack, and demands to know what they're hiding. Who would want to harm a spa? The spa has been using an ionic membrane to keep out unwanted visitors, visitors which appear to have breached the membrane. Now under a full-on attack by a group of monstrous beings, guests become casualties. Not only is the base under attack, but the viruses have also handicapped the systems, disabling the emergency teleportation devices. With everyone trapped the Doctor has to work fast to stop the killing, as well as survive.

Graham finds a pair of green haired servicemen in the form of Nevi and his son Sylas. Their entire character design once again had me thinking of classic Doctor Who characters such as the Swampies from "The Power of Kroll," or the Karfelon androids from "Timelash." I liked wondering if they were a kind of species that has naturally green hair, or if they had father/son hair dying nights. In this brief interaction, you learn that Sylas is the better mechanic between the two of them, but that Nevi does a bad job of acknowledging this. Graham gathers them and others to evacuate while Ryan and Belle hideaway in a sauna of sorts. While there, they confide in each other that neither of them is nearly as impressive as they initially led on, and the truth strengthens their bond.

Sadly, as Graham is rounding people up, Benni gets separated after backtracking to pick up Vilma's hat. As life signs extinguish across a computer screen, highlighting the trail of carnage, the Doctor finds a way to push back the onslaught. By repairing the ionic membrane, the creatures, known as Dregs, are physically pushed out of the spa by a force field. The crisis averted, the survivors search for the bodies of their loved ones. Much to Graham's relief, Ryan and Belle have both narrowly avoided the claws and teeth of an angry Dreg. Benni, however, is nowhere to be found.

After discovering a hole, which looks like a tear in reality, our heroes discover that Tranquility Spa is actually an illusion. A dome separates the spa from a hostile planet far too polluted to inhabit. This abandoned, or "orphan," planet is designated "Orphan 55." This is the reason guests are teleported to the spa- to cover up its seedy location. However, it would appear that whatever the Dregs are, they seem to be apex predators, able to survive the hostile environment of Orphan 55. And they want the spa and its inhabitants gone.

The Doctor makes Kane drive them out into the wasteland to find Benni, as his oxygen tank would allow him to survive outside of the dome for some time. It was a thin chance, but it might be enough to save at least one person among the carnage. I was really hoping for some silly "Moonbase," style helmets, but instead, we got these minimalist blue breath right strips across the bridge of the nose that linked to small wrist canisters as supplied by Nevi and Sylas.

The trip out onto the surface reminded me a lot of the great Russell T Davies episode "Midnight." And much like Midnight, the confined space of a vehicle traversing harsh conditions offers plenty opportunity to explore the people within. Remember how I said Yaz is a gooseberry? She wastes no time getting right between Ryan and Belle. I honestly can't tell what's going on between Yaz and Ryan at the moment. Last season, there was a bit of a "Will they or won't they?" vibe between them. But series twelve seems less interested in coupling them off. First, we had the Master and Yaz getting weirdly touchy-feely, which surprisingly never comes up again. And now we've got Yaz teasing Ryan in front of Belle like a jealous school girl. We learn that along with sucking their thumbs, Ryan and Belle also share having a dead parent in common, so that's something.

The vehicle picks up a bit of barbed wiring leaving it, as the Doctor put it- completely knackered. Keeping with the Midnight vibe, the surface of the planet is too dangerous due to monsters and killer sunlight. Afraid for her own self-interest, Kane wants to abandon the search mission, but a pleading Vilma begs her to continue looking for Benni. After callously accepting Vilma's necklace as payment, Kane agrees to continue with the rescue mission.  The crew abandon their vehicle and run for the safety of an underground service tunnel, but Dregs attack from every direction causing them to return to the safety of the vehicle. But that safety won't last long.

It's then that they hear Benni calling for Vilma. He asks her to marry him and then asks them to shoot him as well. It's a morbid moment as you realise the only reason the Dregs have kept Benni alive is to taunt the survivors and prolong his suffering. I don't really understand what the point of having them run back into the vehicle actually was. They basically run back out a moment later with the new plan of Kane and Vorm covering with gunfire. I don't understand why it was so important that they leave one location just to return moments later.

As Kane and Vorm blast Dregs, the rest of the crew run to the safety of the service tunnel. In the scuffle, Vorm dies, but Kane catches up just in time to open the tunnel. The entrance to this tunnel had me thinking of the opening of "Mighty Morphin Power Rangers." I kept waiting for Rita Repulsa to pop out and say "Ah! After 10,000 years I'm free! It's time to conquer Earth!" They make it down into the tunnel where there is a short-range teleporter nearby. Vilma asks Kane if she saw what happened to Benni, and Kane coldly tells her not to worry, that she shot Benni as he requested. It's at this time that Belle steals Kane's gun. She reveals that Kane is her mother and that she's here for revenge for abandoning her and her father. Belle teleports back to the spa taking Ryan with her. Seeing as the teleporter only had enough juice for one go, the rest of the crew must go deeper into the tunnel to find their way back.

Back at the spa, Belle reveals a huge bomb she plans to use to blow up the spa. Poor Ryan, he just met this girl and already he's dealing with her baggage with her mum. I kid, but damn girl, take a guy to a movie first. It's lucky for the Doctor that this adventure isn't actually from the '80s. Had it been Ace in this position, she would have seen the bomb and said "Wicked!" while offering up Nitro 9 to add to the destruction. Instead, Ryan pleads with her not to blow up the spa, dooming everyone involved.

Meanwhile, the Doctor and crew discover a plaque written in Russian, cluing them in to the fact that not only is the planet abandoned, but it was also abandoned by humanity. Orphan 55 is in fact, Earth. This revelation hits Graham and Yaz hard, as they never imagined the fate of the world to be so ugly. Their grieving is cut short by the appearance of Dregs, who Vilma bravely sacrifices herself to, to save the others. The Doctor, at this time also appears to be running out of air. It appears that the ability to be the loudest talker isn't always helpful when oxygen preservation is to be considered.

The sole reason for her running out of oxygen serves only to discover the Dregs breathe out oxygen. She discovers this when she finds a Dreg conveniently hibernating within the tunnel. Why this is important is that it gives a bit of insight into the Dregs' motivation. Kane's big plan was to make a spa that slowly terraforms the planet, which would harm the Dregs. It also explains the trees seen on the surface of the planet. That or these trees are also apex predators able to adapt to anything. Using her Time Lord brain magic, the Doctor looks into the mind of the Dregs and affirms what she feared most- they evolved from humans.

Everyone has now made their way back to the spa. The Dregs are closing in and they need to fix the teleporter. We're treated to a series of people once again leaving and returning to the same location for the sake of upping the tension. Kane appears to sacrifice herself and Sylas gets in an argument with Nevi once more over being told he's not a mechanic causing him to run away. But both of them are ok, as they both return unscathed. Yaz and Ryan wheel Belle's bomb to try and take out a few of the baddies. It's kind of a clusterfuck if I am honest. Lots of characters get taken in and out of scenes merely to pad time and add to the tension. It's not egregious but could have been edited better.

Sylas appears just in time with a solution to use the hopper virus to convert fuel for the teleporter. I was happy they brought the virus back, even if they don’t make a whole lot of sense. Were the Dregs weaponising the hopper virus? Were the viruses remnants of human civilisation? Regardless, I’m glad they brought it back. Sadly, this entire end sequence acts as evidence that perhaps there are too many companions in the TARDIS at the moment. Graham's job is to stand over Nevi and Sylus saying things like "That's right lads!" Yaz and Ryan are basically running around doing busywork, while the Doctor and Belle are having a stand-off with a Dreg. The Doctor manages to equalise the air in the room so that it is mutually beneficial to keep her and Belle alive. What the Dreg breathes out, they breathe in, and vice versa. This stalemate allows them the ability to leave. With the teleports up and running, the Doctor and her crew are transported back aboard the TARDIS, but not before Belle steals a kiss from Ryan. Are she and her mother going to be okay? We're left to wonder.

The victory celebration is short-lived as the companions remember the fate of the earth. Now, I need to preface what I'm about to say with the following- I fully believe climate change is a thing. I say this because we need to talk about how Doctor Who handles the subject. I've seen a lot of people (see: morons) complain about when Doctor Who gets "too political." They seem to think anything they don't like is political. The Doctor being a woman is political to them. But as I said with episodes like "Rosa," and "Demons of the Punjab," it's not that Doctor Who shouldn't be political, it's that it's simply not very good at it.

I can appreciate that the message of climate change is a real and pressing matter, but the cautionary edutainment way in which they present the information was so cringe. It felt so unnatural and tacked on. In their desire to address the audience directly, they lose a level of reality that makes the dialogue seem fake. These scenes always feel badly acted to me, but it's the fault of the dialogue. There's no good way to break the fourth wall without also sacrificing the characters' voices. It's like one of those adverts where you have two people talking far too candidly about something like their period flow, or constipation. It's a way to disseminate information about a product or ideology, but don't mistake it for dialogue. Nobody talks like this.

All in all, this was your standard "base in peril," episode. While not as transcendent as "It Takes You Away," I believe Ed Hime has given us another solid episode of Doctor Who. It's hard for me to tell if Hime's ability to write action was wanting, or if it is simply the fault of the director, but it definitely suffers at points due to the janky pacing. Pacing has really been an odd sticking point for series 12, and I hope they work it out. Even still, I was hoping that after the two-parter of "Spyfall," we would get something a little more grounded. Having this odd little contained storyline with little homages to classic Who is actually more than I had hoped for. It also gave us a new character in Belle, whom I expect to see return eventually. And despite the heavy-handed and unnatural way in which they dealt with climate change, I understand that it's a family show. In keeping with classic Who, it aimed to be educational, and for that, I cannot fault it.