#spoiler: it does go to shite

[drachenmagier]

I think the one thing I hate the most about this whole boomer art garbage is that I can't randomly share WIP pictures anymore. There is not much as shite and unwelcome as having some internet-twat go: "Oh, I have a computer finish this and then send it to the artist to impress them!1! We will be friends!!!11"

Spoiler warning: It does not impress me. And we're never going to be friends. I'ma block you and that was it.

"Why did you block my hubby?? He loves your art!!"

Well, because your hubby is a prick and deserved a punch in the face, not just a "talk to the wall".

Unbeatable is still that one reverse-engineered piece of used toilet paper who wanted me to buy "their" version of my art. Not quite sure what went wrong in that brain.

[diegosumbrella]

My observations from s4 of Umbrella Academy

I dont even wanna talk about the main plot of whatever the fuck that car crash of a season four was, but heres some plot discrepancies I noticed while watching Umbrella Academy.

!! Season four spoilers under the 'see more' !!

- Luther's unnecessary body change

It's stated so clearly in s1 that Luther never gained his body from the marigold or developed it along with his powers. When he was up on that mission on the moon, he had an accident and Pogo had to donate his blood which resulted in Luther having that monkey body we all know and love.

So as Luther drank that said marigold, why would he suddenly gain back the blood donated from pogo and the body that comes along with that..? It's as if the writers themselves forgot why he had that body. Why write in unnecessary body dysphoria for my poor baby?

- Diego's sudden appearance of ab's

Listen. I am the last fucking person to complain about a Diego Hargreeves shirtless scene, where you see his pecs quite literally bounce BUT why did he change so drastically from 'dad bod' to suddenly 'ripped'?

I read an article interview with Steve Blackman and saw a few snippets from a podcast that explained that David (Diego's actor) didn't want to gain weight for the role, which is totally understandable. But if you have an actor who doesn't want to gain weight for this role, why not just keep Diego as fit?

Due to the short six episodes, it's extremely easy to miss how Diego slowly becomes more fit as time progressed. For most, and also myself at first, that fighting scene just looked confusing as fuck. Like two episodes before, Lila was calling you 'tubby' (or whatever the fuck she said), so why do you have abs now?? Where did the dilf diego dad bod disappear to :(

- Allison's beloved Ray just leaving her

I'm not sure if i'm taking this the wrong way completely but... In the scene after Allison had given Klaus the marigold against his wishes, but also to save his life. As Klaus is calling out every member of the family, he mentions how he 'took care of Allison when Ray walked out'.

Like i'm sorry but the fuck do you mean Ray just walked out?? Why did he leave Allison if she had no powers. She'd clearly built a better life for herself and began to change her mindset for the better, compared to s3 she's drastically better.

It's never explained (probably again for the lack of episodes) and it's never even mentioned again. Like does Allison share custody of Claire with Ray? Does Claire even see her father? I have so many questions and once again, a severe lack of answers.

- Klaus breaking his five year sobriety

As much as us as an audience are aware of Klaus' addictive tendencies and his utter thirst for form of drug in the former seasons, but why establish that he's not only been sober for three entire years but he's also now a huge germaphobe just for him to ruin it in five seconds.

The main problem I had with this is the fact none of the siblings, including and most importantly Allison, had zero reaction to this. They weren't upset, angry, disappointed or fuck it even happy. They practically ignored the fact their brothers three year detox went out the window.

Five's ability to time jump

Before I get you all jumping up my arse, i'm fully aware I could discuss how they completely just fucked his character development and his entire personality as a whole for a shitty romance that made absolutely no sense but I'm gonna make a separate post on that because oh boy do I have some shite to say.

ANYWAY.

I can't even go into much detail with this one but why is it that every time five attempts to do his time jumps, he ends up in that subway but when he does it with Lila in that end episode.. he can suddenly just jump..?? normally?? Like why. Why can he now only just time jump as he used too. WHY WAS THE SUBWAY NEEDED FOR OTHER THAN FOR THAT AWFUL FIVE X LILA PLOT????

It's as if the writers couldn't come up with a way to get the brellies into that building with Ben so instead of using critical thinking and writing them breaking in, they just said 'fuck it make him time jump with Lila'. Like no I have questions??

[pikahlua]

MHA Chapter 413 spoilers translations

This week’s initial tentative super rough/literal translations under the cut.

tagline AFOとOFA精神の共鳴が見せるものとは⁉︎ オール・フォー・ワンとワン・フォー・オールせいしんのきょうめいがみせるものとは⁉︎ OORU FOO WAN to WAN FOO OORU seishin no kyoumei ga misero mono to wa!? The resonance between the spirit of One For All and All For One reveals [what]!?

1 師 マスター MASUTAA (kanji: shi) Master,

2 悲しそうな子が かなしそうなこが kanashisou na ko ga a child who seems sad

3 いたよ ita yo was there.

1 ーーィト！ --ITO! "--ight!"

2 オールマイト‼︎ OORU MAITO!! "All Might!!"

3 寝たら死ぬぞ‼︎意識を保て‼︎ ねたらしぬぞ‼︎いしきをたもて‼︎ netara shinu zo!! ishiki wo tamote!! "If you sleep, you're die!! Keep conscious!!"

4 …！ "...!"

5 通信機がなくて状況がわからんが つうしんきがなくてじょうきょうがわからんが tsuushinki ga nakute joukyou ga wakaran ga "I don't have a communication device so I don't know what's going on, but"

6 恐らく緑谷がまだ戦っている！ おそらくみどりやがまだたたかっている！ osoraku Midoriya ga mada tatakatte iru! "Midoriya is probably still fighting!"

7 夢…？ ゆめ…？ yume...? A dream...?

8 いや…この感覚は… いや…このかんかくは… iya...kono kankaku wa... No...this sensation...

9 あの時と同じー…‼︎ あのときとおなじー…‼︎ ano toki to onaji-...!! It's the same at that time-...!!

10 遠く離れている筈なのに とおくはなれているはずなのに tooku hanarete iru hazu nanoni Even though it should be far away,

11 OFAを感じる ワン・フォー・オールをかんじる WAN FOO OORU wo kanjiru I feel One For All.

12 "意志"が流れ込んでくる "いし"がながれこんでくる "ishi" ga nagarekonde kuru Its "will" is flowing back [into me].

1 紡がれてきた力が… つむがれてきたちからが… tsumugarete kita chikara ga... The power that has been spun...

2 解れる ほつれる hotsureru will be unraveled.

tagline No.413　鉛の塊　堀越耕平 ナンバー413　なまりのかたまり　ほりこしこうへい NANBAA 413  namari no katamari   Horikoshi Kouhei No. 413 A Lump of Lead  Kouhei Horikoshi

1 何だ今のは なんだいまのは nanda ima no wa What was the just now?

2 何故今アレが脳裏に過った なぜいまアレがのうりによぎった naze ima ARE ga nouri ni yogitta Why did that pass through my mind just now?

3-4 おまえは完全に消滅した筈だ おまえはかんぜんにしょうめつしたはずだ omae wa kanzen ni shoumetsu shita hazu da You must have been completely extinguished.

5 人が人を助ける限り ひとがひとをたすけるかぎり hito ga hito wo tasukeru kagiri So long as people help people,

6 英雄の意志を継いだ誰かがー えいゆうのいしをついだだれかがー eiyuu no ishi wo tsuida dareka ga- someone who inherits the will of heroes-

7 消滅して尚 しょうめつしてなお shoumetsu shite nao Even though it was extinguished,

8 残り火の如く…！ のこりびのごとく…！ nokoribi no gotoku...! [it lingers] like an ember...!

1 づ dzu "Dgh"

2 ハッ HA "Hah"

3 ーーッ "--"

4 …！ "...!"

5 君は きみは kimi wa You

6 ヒーローになれる HIIROO ni nareru can become a hero.

7 どういう…ことですか… dou iu...koto desu ka... "What do...you mean..."

8 ワン・フォー・オールを手放せって…なんですか⁉︎ ワン・フォー・オールをてばなせって…なんですか⁉︎ WAN FOO OORU wo tebanase tte...nan desu ka!? "Let go of One For All...what [does that mean]!?"

9 二代目…‼︎ にだいめ…‼︎ nidaime...!! "Second...!!"

10 心を荒げるな奴に聞かれる こころをあらげるなやつにきかれる kokoro wo arageruna yatsu ni kikareru "Don't worry yourself [or] he'll question [us]." (Note: I think Kudou is basically saying "Play it cool or else Tomura will catch on.")

1 死柄木の中にあった鉛のような黒い塊…あれは しがらきのなかにあったなまりのようなくろいかたまり…あれは Shigaraki no naka ni atta namari no you na kuroi katamari...are wa Inside Shigaraki [is a] lead-like black lump...that is

2 奴の中にあった幾つもの小さな怒りや不満……記憶… やつのなかにあったいくつものちいさないかりやふまん……きおく… yatsu no naka ni atta ikutsumo no chiisa na ikari ya fuman......kioku... the many small angers inside him......memories...

3 それらが引き寄せられ一つに集約されたものだ それらがひきよせられひとつにしゅうやくされたものだ sorera ga hikiyoserare hitotsu ni shouyaku sareta mono da Those are all drawn together and consolidated into [that] one thing.

4 いわば奴の決意そのもの憎悪で固められた精神 いわばやつのけついそのものぞうおでかためられたせいしん iwaba yatsu no ketsui sono mono zouo de katamerareta seishin So to speak, his determination itself is a spirit fortified with hatred.

5 だが dagaBut,

6-7 八木��隙を見つけた やぎがすきをみつけた Yagi ga suki wo mitsuketa Yagi found an opening.

1 あれは恐らく あれはおそらく are wa osoraku That is probably

2 スターアンドストライプとの戦闘でついた残り傷 スターアンドストライプとのせんとうでついたのこりきず SUTAA ANDO SUTORAIPU to no sentou de tsuita nokori kizu a gash left over from the battle with Star and Stripe.

3 再生の"個性"でも癒し切れぬ肉体ではなく精神の傷 さいせいの"こせい"でもいやしきれぬにくたいではなくせいしんのきず saisei no "kosei" demo iyashi kirenu nikutai de wa naku seishin no kizu Even the Regeneration quirk cannot heal the wounds of the spirit as it's not the body.

4 それと sore to "And then"

5 ワン・フォー・オールが… WAN FOO OORU ga... "One For All..."

6 どういう…… dou iu...... "what do you mean......"

7 AFOを飲み込んだ死柄木は強くなりすぎだ……このまま力比べを続けても勝ち目はない オール・フォー・ワンをのみこんだしがらきはつよくなりすぎだ……このままちからくらべをつづけてもかちめはない OORU FOO WAN wo nomikonda Shigaraki wa tsuyoku nari sugi da......kono mama chikara kurabe wo tsudzuketemo kachime wa nai "[By] swallowing All For One, Shigaraki has become too strong...... At this rate, if we continute to compete by strength, there will be no chance of winning."

8 だから裡から攻める だからうちからせめる dakara uchi kara semeru "So we'll attack from the inside."

9-10 ワン・フォー・オールを譲渡という形で傷にぶつける ワン・フォー・オールをじょうとというかた��できずにぶつける WAN FOO OORU wo jouto to iu katachi de kizu ni butsukeru "[We'll] strike* the gash in the form of transfering One For All." (*Note: This particular word for "strike" evokes imagery almost like "bust through," "smash through.")

11 傷をこじ開け きずをこじあけ kizu wo kojiake "[We'll] pry open the gash

12 奴の精神を直接叩く やつのせいしんをちょくせつたたく yatsu no seishin wo chokusetsu tataku "and strike his spirit directly."

1 "譲渡"して… "じょうと"して… "jouto" shite... "Transfer it..."

2 "ぶつける"……？ "butsukeru"......? "and strike......?"

3 待って言ってる事がよくわかんない！ まっていってることがよくわかんない！ matte itteru koto ga yoku wakannai! "Wait, I don't really understand what you're saying!"

4 渡したら…使われるだけだ！ わたしたら…つかわれるだけだ！ watashitara...tsukawareru dake da! "If you hand [us] over...[we'll] just be used!"

5 四ノ森さんのように取り込まれるだけだ！ しのもりさんのようにとりこまれるだけだ！ Shinomori-san no you ni torikomareru dake da! "We'll just be captured like Mr. Shinomori!"

6 "譲渡"の解釈を拡げるんだ "じょうと"のかいしゃくをひろげるんだ "jouto" no kaishaku wo hirogerunda "Expand your interpretation of 'transfer.'"

7 わからんか wakaran ka "Don't you understand?"

8 イメージで修練？ イメージでしゅうれん？ IMEEJI de shuuren? "Training through visualiation?"

9 ーーーああ… ---aa... "---Yes..."

10 なら…わかりやすいのがいるだろう nara...wakari yasui no ga iru darou "In that case...there's one [person] who'll make it easy to understand."

11 あの幼馴染はおまえにどうやってものを渡すかな あのおさななじみはおまえにどうやってものをわたすかな ano osananajimi wa omae ni dou yatte mono wo watasu ka na "How does that childhood friend [of yours] hand over things to you?"

small text 信じ難いや しんじがたいや shinji gatai ya "It's difficult to believe."

12 渡し方によっては怪我もするし わたしかたによってはけがもするし watashikata ni yotte wa kega mo suru shi "Depending on how you hand it over, you may get injured,"

13 物自体が壊れもする ものじたいがこわれもする mono jitai ga koware mo suru "or the item itself may be broken."

14 これをOFAで実行するだが… これをワン・フォー・オールでじっこうするだが… kore wo WAN FOO OORU de jikkou suru daga... "You'll implement this with One For All, but..."

1 確証はないだからまず俺で試す かくしょうはないだからまずおれでためす kakushou wa nai dakara mazu ore de tamesu "I'm not certain [about it], so I'll test it with myself first."

2 さっきは四ノ森さんだけが奪われた さっきはしのもりさんだけがうばわれた sakki wa Shinomori-san dake ga ubawareta "Earlier, only Mr. Shinomori was stolen."

3 一部だけ奪われるなら…一部だけの譲渡もシステムとして可能な筈だ いちぶだけうばわれるなら…いちぶだけのじょうともシステムとしてかのうなはずだ ichibu dake ubawareru nara...ichibu dake no jouto mo SHISUTEMU to shite kanou na hazu da "If only one portion was stolen...it should also be possible to transfer only one portion as a system."

4 俺たちはOFAに取り込まれた因子 おれたちはワン・フォー・オールにとりこまれたいんし ore-tachi wa WAN FOO OORU ni torikomareta inshi "We are factors taken into One For All."

5 OFAの一部……そして ワン・フォー・オールのいちぶ……そして WAN FOO OORU no ichibu......soshite "[Individual] parts of One For All...and"

6 強化された特別な因子 きょうかされたとくべつないんし kyouka sareta tokubetsu na inshi "strengthened special factors."

7 俺が砕け散る程に強く"渡せ"ば おれがくだけちるほどにつよく"わたせ"ば ore ga kudake chiru hodo ni tsuyoku "watase"ba "If you hand me over so strongly that I shatter to pieces,"

8 力が渡ることなく攻撃ができる ちからがわたることなくこうげきができる chikara ga wataru koto naku kougeki ga dekiru "I can attack without the power passing over [to him]." (Note: I believe Kudou is saying "If you send me over strongly enough to break me as a factor, I can attack Tomura without him being able to use my quirk.")

9 試すって…！なら「煙幕」を！ ためすって…！なら「おれ」を！ tamesu tte...! nara 「ore (kanji: enmaku)」 wo! "Test it, you say...! Then [send] me (read as: Smokescreen)!"

10 俺が今一番使い所ないでしょ おれがいまいちばんつかいどころないでしょ ore ga ima ichiban tsukai dokoro nai desho "I'm the one who has the least use, right?"

11 いや iya "No,"

12 俺からだ おれからだ ore kara da "it's from me." (Note: I think Kudou is saying "No, it was my suggestion, so I should be the one we test this on.")

1 でも"変速"はこの戦いの要だ！失敗したら死柄木に"変速"が でも"へんそく"はこのたたかいのかなめだ！しっぱいしたらしがらきに"へんそく"が demo "hensoku" wa kono tatakai no kaname da! shippai shitara Shigaraki ni "hensoku" ga "But Gear Shift is key in this battle! If it fails, Shigaraki will [have]Gear Shift!"

2 今 いま ima "Right now,"

3 動けなければ死ぬ うごけなければしぬ ugokenakereba shinu "[whoever] can't move will die."

4 "変速"を手放せば反動も手放せる "おれ"をてばなせばはんどうもてばなせる "ore (kanji: hensoku)" wo tebanaseba handou mo tebanaseru "If he can let go of me (read as: Gear Shift), he can let go of the recoil."

5 そして万が一奴が使ったとしても今の反動状態がそのまま渡ることになる そしてまんがいちやつがつかったとしてもいまのはんどうじょうたいがそのままわたることになる soshite man ga ichi yatsu ga tsukatta to shitemo ima no handou joutai ga sono mama wataru koto ni naru "And even if by any chance that guy used it, the current state of the recoil would pass over [to him] as it is now."

6 リーダー…俺はずっとあなたに従ってきた…けれど今回はリスクが高すぎる リーダー…おれはずっとあなたにしたがってきた…けれどこんかいはリスクがたかすぎる RIIDAA...ore wa zutto anata ni shitagatte kita...keredo konkai wa RISUKU ga taka sugiru "Leader...I've always followed you...but this time the risk is too high."

7 だから賭けだよ だからかけだよ dakara kake da yo "That's why it's a bet."

8 俺たちは過酷な時代を生きた おれたちはかこくなじだいをいきた ore-tachi wa kakoku na jidai wo ikita "We lived in a harsh era."

9 仕方がないと…無情な決断も重ねてきた しかたがないと…むじょうなけつだんもかさねてきた shikata ga nai to...mujou na ketsudan mo kasanete kita Literal. "[I thought] there was no choice... I piled up heartless decisions." Contextual. "[I thought] there was no choice... I made decision after heartless decision."

1 今　最も過酷な状況にあって いま　もっともかこくなじょうきょうにあって ima motto mo kakoku na joukyou ni atte Right now, [he is] is in the harshest situation,

2 それでも尚心を諦めないこの少年が それでもなおこころをあきらめないこのしょうねんが sore demo nao kokoro wo akiramenai kono shounen ga yet still, this boy will not give up on [his] heart. (Note: The "his" is ambiguous. This phrase literally reads as "this boy will not give up on heart.")

3 正しいのだと信じたい ただしいのだとしんじたい tadashii no da to shinjitai I want to believe that he is right*. (*Note: This word "right" can mean both "correct" and "righteous, just.")

4 オールマイトにここまでして貰えて オールマイトにここまでしてもらえて OORU MAITO ni koko made shite moraete For All Might to do all of this for me,

5 恵まれすぎてる… めぐまれすぎてる… megumare sugiteru... I'm too blessed...

6 づ… dzu... "Ddh..."

7 ふぐ…！ fugu...! "Ngh...!"

8 …この期に及んで… …このごにおよんで… ...kono go ni oyonde... "...Up to this phase..."

9 力が惜しいとか…死の恐怖じゃない… ちからがおしいとか…しのきょうふじゃない… chikara ga oshii toka...shi no kyoufu ja nai... "it's not that the power is precious [to him]...and it's not the fear of death."

10 どれだけ強大な使命を帯びてても… どれだけきょうだいなしめいをおびてても… dore dake kyoudai na shimei wo obitetemo... "No matter how powerful the mission with which he is entrusted..."

11 俊典…！ としのり…！ Toshinori...! "Toshinori...!"

12 この子はいつまで経っても…… このこはいつまでたっても…… kono ko wa itsu made tattemo...... "For this child, no matter how much time passes......"

13 この子にとってOFAは… このこにとってワン・フォー・オールは… kono ko ni totte WAN FOO OORU wa... "to this child, One For All is..."

14 肝に銘じておきな きもにめいじておきな kimo ni meijite oki na Keep this in mind:

15 これは君自身が勝ち取った力だ これはきみじしんがかちとったちからだ kore wa kimi jishin ga kachitotta chikara da this is a power you have won yourself.

1 憧れのヒーローがくれた宝物なんだよ あこがれのヒーローがくれたたからものなんだよ akogare no HIIROO ga kureta takaramono nanda yo ...a treasure given to him by the hero he admires.

3 何をごちゃごちゃと話してる なにをごちゃごちゃとはなしてる nani wo gochagocha to hanashiteru "What gripes are you talking about?"

4 万縄あんたはなるべく小僧の側に ばんじょうあんたはなるべくこぞうのそばに Banjou anta wa narubeku kozou no soba ni "Banjou, you [stay] by the boy's side as much as possible."

5 黒鞭が生命線だ くろむちがせいめいせんだ kuro muchi ga seimeisen da "Black Whip is the lifeline."

6 頼んだ たのんだ tanonda "[I'm] counting on you."

7 ああ aa "Right,"

8 マイヒーロー MAI HIIROO "my hero."

9 あとはお前だどうする緑谷出久‼︎ あとはおまえだどうするみどりやいずく‼︎ ato wa omae da dou suru Midoriya Izuku!! "The rest is up to you, Izuku Midoriya!!"

10 ……やります‼︎ ......yarimasu!! "......I'll do it!!"

1 …とても ...totemo "...You don't really"

2 腱や筋肉を内から直接補強… けんやきんにくをうちからちょくせつほきょう… ken ya kinniku wo uchi kara chokusetsu hokyou… Direct reinforcement of your tendons and muscles from within…

3 肌から透けて見える黒鞭が物語ってる はだからすけてみえるそれがものがたってる hada kara sukete mieru sore (kanji: kuro muchi) ga monogatatteru That (read as: Black Whip) that’s transparently visible through your skin tells the story.

4 ヒーローには見えねえな ヒーローにはみえねえな HIIROO ni wa mienee na "look like a hero."

tagline 動かぬ身体に黒鞭を打つ‼︎ うごかぬからだにくろむちをうつ‼︎ ugokanu karada ni kuro muchi wo utsu!! With a body that won't move, strike with Black Whip!!

[lab-gr0wn-lambs]

Going through the DW tag, nobody else thinks this is hilarious. "Yeah she's trans because alien magic and not just because people are trans sometimes. Non binary alien trope! Slay!" You're joking right. "Turns out you can just release the timelord energy without a memory-wipe, no problem whatsoever! You just have to have Woman Feelings and not Man Thoughts" What. What in hell. Doing this whole bit about tearing down the gender binary only to make judgements about people based on the gender binary. Just because you said "male presenting" and not "man" doesn't mean you didn't just say ''lmao men, amirite''

Look I liked the episode plenty, but I felt some kinda way about some things.

Also the pacing was like being run over by the entire tour de france, but they had only had an hour I guess idk.

what the fuck is going on 💀

[annaelizabethhenry1]

Spy Royale

Summary: River Cartwright finally may have found a way out of Slough House when a minor member of the Royal Family is hit with death threats and needs protection. The posh socialite Lady Alice Highgrove is niece to the King and isn’t keen on having some government lacky tagging along after her all day, crimping her style. However, when it becomes very apparent someone is indeed trying to off her, she and River are left untangling a web of deceit that goes back to a very unsuspecting place. Question is will they be able to figure it out before it’s too late for both of them?

Warnings: Violence similar to the show/books and cursing and bodily functions from Jackson Lamb ;-) River Cartwright x OC. As to spoilers I’m trying to stick to the end of season one as the pick-up point of this story so more people can enjoy it.

Word Count: 2,481

Chapter One

River Cartwright huffed up the creaky staircase of Slough House balancing a case of copy paper that had just been delivered.

“Catherine! Where do you want the paper to go? Copy room or your office?”

River started when she soundlessly appeared in front of him from the opposite end of the hall.

“Oh, River – thank you!” she said smiling, almost shyly. “My office. Last time I left it in the copy room half of it disappeared in less than a week. Some people have no qualms about stealing supplies from MI5.”

River pursed his lips and said, “Yeah, what cheap arseholes we work with.” Including himself as guilt washed over him.

“Cartwright!”

River dropped the case of paper at the sound of Lamb’s voice. He knew he should’ve waited till Lamb popped out for lunch next door to bring this upstairs, but River hated how nervous Catherine would get if he left it near the entrance – heaven forbid someone fell in an emergency she always said.

“River do be careful – it almost landed on my foot.”

“So, sorry Catherine,” he said.

River sighed, his shoulders drooping at the thought of dealing with Lamb. He shuffled across the hall to Lamb’s office – entering a thick cloud of cigarette smoke tinged with the rotting remnants of pad Thai in the rubbish bin from the night before.

“You screamed?”

“Is that a question? You’re so daft you don’t recognize my voice?”

River bit his lower lip, forcing himself to not respond to the jab.

“Just making sure.”

“Yeah, well thankfully we don’t have any other rejects from your gene pool cluttering up the office. Good thing your mum quit while she was ahead and stopped at you.”

What an insufferable twat, River thought.

Lamb descended into a coughing fit that shook his whole body. River wondered how he passed his medical every year sounding like a tuberculosis patient.

“Anyway, Lady Di has a task for you – seems you were chosen especially since you’ll relate well to the environment among other things.”

“Oh?” River was curious, but worried given how the Park liked to screw Slough House at every turn.

“Yeah – protection duty.”

River’s face perked up as he imagined some high ranking government official in need of his services. “I’m grateful for the opportunity.”

Lamb grabbed the file nearest him and waved it towards River. River reached over to grab it. “Yeah, don’t thank me yet.” Lamb released the folder and leaned back in his chair as it groaned under the strain of his grith.

River opened the file and frowned. “Why does she need protection if she’s never had it before?”

“Death threats – the Royal Family has been getting a slew since the coronation.”

“Isn’t this detail usually handled by the Met?”

Propping his sock encased feet up on the desk, he leaned back further, hands now resting on his rotund belly. “Yep, not enough resources to babysit a spoiled rich girl.”

“She’s only the niece of the King – they must feel it’s credible to give her protection, no?”

“Seems so. Personally I hate the lot of them. That pomp shite – huge waste of taxpayer money. Anointed by divine right my ass. You wouldn’t catch me bowing to someone who shits just like everyone else.”

Right on cue Lamb ripped a loud fart. River backed away to avoid the oncoming stench.

River flipped through the file, skimming over the threat assessment report and his assignment’s fact sheet. Lady Alice Highgrove, age 28 went to Cambridge University, job socialite. What? That’s not a job. Sure he’d seen her splashed across the gossip pages pictured at glitzy events Royals attended, but he didn’t realize that was all she did. River had a bad feeling about this duty.

“Umm, maybe Louisa would be better suited for this as she’s a woman.” Not that Louisa would get on with a spoiled Royal socialite, but at least she’d maybe vibe with the girly crap he dreaded.

Lamb belly laughed, his greasy hair shaking on his head. “She’d murder her inside of 24 hours.”

“One of the dogs?”

“Nope. Lady Di said her Royalness wanted someone at least somewhat attractive.”

River quirked a half grin.

“Yeah, don’t let that go to your head. You’re not being chosen for your skills, but for your pretty boy looks. Her father the Duke demanded she get government protection – you know him right – Duke of Windemere?”

“Ah, yes – the sketchy one with ties to Middle Eastern sheiks and princes and whispers about underage girls.”

“Yeah, that’s the one – don’t get mixed up in anything dodgy. Trot off to the Park for your gun and a stipend. They’re expecting you.”

“What?” River lit up – they were entrusting him with a gun? Maybe this was his ticket back into the Park.

“God, you look like an excited golden retriever. Don’t fuck this up Cartwright – or else they’ll stuff you in the Tower of London and throw away the key.”

“River,” Catherine chirped at him as he neared the staircase.

He stopped and smiled at her, “Yeah?”

“I had seen the file – I’m so proud you got the detail. I think you have a chance of finally getting out of here. You’re grandfather will be chuffed – protecting a Royal.”

“God, I hope so. And she’s a minor Royal,” River said attempting to down play the importance of the protection detail. He didn’t want to give his hopes up, especially since he didn’t know what Lady Alice was like when she wasn’t smiling in a fashionable ensemble.

“Nonsense! She attends Christmas at Sandringham and Royal Ascot. This is so exciting.”

River chuckled. “I think maybe you’d like the detail more than I would. I’ll text you if I need any insight – which I might.”

Catherine looked down and then focused upwards again on River. “That’s kind you’d think I’d be able to help you.”

River didn’t want to point out the obvious – namely her stack of Royal Life and Hello, arranged neatly in chronological order coupled with a Golden Jubilee mug she had on her desk as dead give aways that she certainly knew more about the world he was about to enter.

River arrived at Regents Park about 30 minutes later, file clutched in his hand with a spring in his step. Security let him through seamlessly as he was on the visitor list for a change and he didn’t even need an escort this time. Things were looking up.

Pushing his way through the maze of corridors, he spotted Spider up ahead holding a cup of coffee in one hand and an iPad in the other. River contemplated jogging to catch-up to him, but stopped himself from gloating about the protection detail. Did he need to brag and tempt the fates? No, absolutely not. He had had so little luck since crashing Stanstead that it wasn’t worth the momentary charge it would give him and risk the wrath of karma.

River knocked at an inconspicuous door that required a card swipe which he did not have – yet. He heard shuffling on the other side and the lock disengage. Duffy appeared in the doorway and eyeballed River with a blank look on his face.

“It’s the prodigal nepobaby. I assume you’re here for your service weapon and stipend?”

“Nice to see you too, Duffy. And yes I am,” River said entering the drab windowless office.

“Better you than me. Hope you enjoy garden parties and horse shows and all that posh crap,” Duffy said while unlocking a large metal cabinet. It was the gun safe. He pulled a simple handgun out, checked the tag, jotted down the number onto a form and continued, “Try not to shoot yourself in the foot or worse her with it. You’ll need to sign the form. Let me grab some bullets.”

River signed the release form. Duffy returned with bullets and a small back holster for the weapon. “Oh, and this,” he added, pulling out a credit card from a drawer in his desk. “Remember any charges will require back-up proof of the work necessity for the purchase.”

“Of course, I’ll keep a log. Thanks, Duffy.”

“You need to report to her flat at Kennington Palace at six this evening. She’s attending a fundraiser at the National Portrait Gallery. Look like you belong there – suit, tie – got it?” Duffy said.

“I know how to dress,” River said suppressing an eye roll. No bad karma. He had to stay charming, polite and lose his frustrated attitude about his work.

River arrived early at the Palace to ensure he wouldn’t upset his charge. An actual real life butler answered the door and let him into a foyer more grand than luxury hotels. To the right was a semi-spiral staircase to the left a checkerboard black and white marble floor that led to an archway where he heard a commotion.

A small ball of fur darted out in a blur of brown and white with flying floppy ears. All energy and shrill barking. River took a step back as it charged at him, excited paws scratching on his trouser leg.

“Whoa! Down boy or girl!” River tried backing up more and more till he bumped a plantstand.

“Sir! Have a care, please!” the butler said as he rushed over to steady a large crystal bowl of fresh flowers.

“So sorry,” River responded, feeling his cheeks warm.

In the chaos River hadn’t seen the young woman who he recognized as Lady Alice Highgrove enter. She wore a smirk as she bent down to pick up the energetic dog. “Naughty, naughty Mr. Darcy, you scared mummy’s new friend.” She nuzzled the dog to her cheek while batting her eyes at River.

“Pleased to meet you ma’am,” River extended his hand which she didn’t take and continued, “I’m River Cartwright.”

Lady Alice gave him the once over. “You’ll do, but you are bit more scruffy than I expected. I thought protection detail had to be clean shaven. Oh, and it’s Lady Alice, not ma’am. God, I’m not that old yet,” she said in a very posh RP accent.

She wandered past the archway into another room while River stood there wondering what he was supposed to do. “Well, aren’t you coming? Are you daft or something?”

“Uh, no, I didn’t want to seem impertinent,” River mumbled.

River took a deep breath. He was so out of his league with this detail. He hadn’t had time to find a protocol sheet on what to call her and all that other nonsense etiquette rubbish. He’d text Catherine later for some pointers.

Following Lady Alice into what he assumed you’d call a sitting room, unless it was a drawing room – he had no idea what the difference was to be honest. He watched her drop down on a very overstuffed toile patterned sofa and put her dog down next to her. The dog wasn’t sitting for more than five seconds before he made a bee-line for River again, barking and anxiously scratching all over his leg again.

“He likes you! That’s a good sign. You can pet him, maybe he’ll stop pestering.”

River supressed a sigh. Bending, he patted the fluffy cavalier spaniel’s head and smiled. “Hi there fella.” The dog snarled, snapped a little and River recoiled.

“Mr. Darcy! Stop that!”

“It’s okay, ma – I mean Lady Alice.”

“Is this your first day on the job?” she asked giving side long glance to her butler.

“No, I’m an experienced agent. I assure you.” Just not used to yipping dogs and Royal protocol he felt like adding. River also noticed she wasn’t dressed appropriately for a fundraiser at a museum more like a night out. He glanced at his watch, it was already quarter past five.

“You have somewhere to be?” Lady Alice asked, brow arched, head cocked, not unlike her dog as she too had brown hair and warm, but cunning hazel eyes.

“No, but don’t you? I was told you’re attending an event at the National Portrait Gallery tonight at six.”

“Oh, that’s what I told my parents. No, we’re actually going to Sketch to meet up with a friend of mine for drinks and then maybe a club afterwards.”

River scowled. There was no place more difficult to keep a potential target safe than a bar or nightclub. The noise, the crush of people, the lights, the alcohol and drug use made it a nightmare. Not to mention he couldn’t shadow her into the ladies toilets.

“Do you always look like that or do you have indigestion?” Lady Alice asked, stroking Mr. Darcy’s head.

Taking a deep breath and trying to make his face as neutral as possible, River said, “No. I’m just concerned about the challenge of keeping you safe in a bar or a club.”

“You said you’re experienced. Plus, I can’t believe someone would want to hurt me. I’m like 18th in line or something. I’ve lost track, too many cousins with babies ahead of me.”

He forced a smile. “Yes, I am. Certain venues are just not ideal, especially since I already mapped all the exits out for the National Portrait Gallery and various routes away from the venue just in case.”

Lady Alice hopped off the sofa and strode towards River and patted his cheek nonchalantly, “Aww, how cute, you like to be prepared. James Bond improvises all the time quite well. I suspect you can, too.” 

River felt his cheeks burn and bit his lower lip to stifle himself. “With all do respect this isn’t a film and that’s not what MI-5 is like ma’am.” He called her that on purpose – two could play at this game.

“The Sketch is only on the other side of the park and isn’t far from the National Portrait Gallery, so don’t worry, it’s the same escape route back to this heap. Come on, Cartwright, I’ll even let you drive my car,” she said with a wink as she made her way to the foyer.  “Wilson, do you have my coat and bag ready?”

River had no choice but to follow after the spoiled Royal. The butler apparently named Wilson helped her into her coat and then handed her the handbag seemingly out of thin air. She clicked open the purse, dropped her phone in and pulled out a set of keys. Wilson opened the door and she exited, River trotted after her with the dog zooming through his legs, almost tripping River. Regaining his composure, he noticed the butler followed them out and saw his minor mishap – not of his doing. However, that didn’t stop Wilson from giving him glaring side-eye.

“You think maybe the dog needs a leash or some training?” River said to no one in particular as he just couldn’t help himself at the sheer frustration. No one paid his comment any mind and he muttered, “Fuck me – I’m screwed.”

[crossguild]

one piece & the language of gratitude

there is a fun thing that you can do in japanese that doesn't carry over all the time in english that's used really poignantly in OP, which is the -te kureru modifier(?) i guess, i'm not a linguist, but i started reading the raws and noticed that often when a character addresses last words to their loved ones, they start leaning on the -te kureru phrasing an awful lot, because they also express gratitude at that time. so i went, where else does that get used??

spoilers for ummm you know what, don't read this until you're at the timeskip LMAO

so at merry's funeral, she says to the crew:

'imamade taisetsu ni shitekurete, doumo arigatou'; 'thank you so much for cherishing me up until now'. that 'shite kurete' modifies the verb in a way to mean that it's something that was done as a favor, as something that was given. the crew had given her the gift of being cherished for so long.

when ace says 'thank you for loving me', he says 'aishitekurete arigatou', thanking luffy and his crew for doing him the favor of loving him, for giving him their love

when ace asked marco 'why do you call [whitebeard] pops?' marco responds 'ano hito ga-- 'musuko' to yondekureru kara da'; 'that person-- because he calls us 'sons''

that 'yondekureru'. yobimasu, or yobu, is 'to call', when you modify it with '-te kureru', you get 'yondekureru'. marco could've said 'musuko to yobu' which would also be translated exactly the same way. 'he calls us sons.'

but he chooses to say ['musuko' to yondekureru]. that man has given us the gift of calling us his sons.

whitebeard's last words are a lot more explicit in this regard, although he doesn't use -te kureru haha

he doesn't mince words at all here. 'omaetachi ni wa subete o moratta'; 'i've received everything from you'. it was translated officially as 'you've given me everything'.

and 'kansha shiteiru saraba da, musukotachi...!!'; 'i'm grateful. farewell, my sons!!'

it's kind of a chicken and egg situation for why i'm fixated on the whitebeard pirates right now, but their crew culture is genuinely one of the most heartwarming in the series for me. they show such an immense amount of regard and gratitude for each other and for their captain, this feeling that they never take each other for granted, because this family that they've made is a gift that they both receive from & give to each other. i love them!!

one more -te kureru, which is a little bit hurtful, but after the war, when luffy's wrestling with what happened to him at marineford and jinbei tries to be there for him, he says--

'mukou e ike...!!!' (go away!) 'hitori ni shite kure!!!' (leave me alone!!!)

hitori ni shite kure... do me a favor and leave me alone 😭

[gallowglassvt]

Folks reading or watching The Wheel Of Time and thinking Rand is a pain... aren't wrong, and I say this as a Rand stan. However, the one thing that we can all agree on, or at least I wanna think so, is that he (and also Perrin and sometimes Mat) is always relatable throughout all the shite he goes through. Like, you fully vibe with what he's going through because Jordan and Sanderson always keep him believable, even when he's at points where he seems to transcend regular humanity (the show does too, but that's primarily because of Josha's performance. Like, Light protect me, that man was born to play Rand). Don't believe me? Read this exchange from The Shadow Rising (no spoilers):

"How do you feel about your prophesied destiny? I must know if I'm to write this epic."

"Feel? Tired. I feel tired."

Boom.

[norfkid]

finished playing through Still Wakes The Deep a while ago & still have so many thoughts and questions about it in my brain. i don't make a habit of doing this but i've attempted to articulate (as best as i could, with a mix of some gorgeous & shite screencaps) some of them below. spoilers and gore warning❗️

an obvious psychological symptom is that rig workers that transform into these meatmonsters (google tells me the unknown entity is known as The Shape btw) still retain some part of their subconscious or psyche.

for example, a lot of Muir's dialogue was about being left alone. he was confused bc his friends kept running away, even tho he Just Wanted To Help. his fears were that they’d abandoned him, and more so than the others (which i’ll mention later), he doesn't seem to be aware of the violence and harm he's inflicting on his friends. a beautiful detail adding to that is that i don't think any of the workers Muir killed had been transformed, mutated, or absorbed (do correct me if i’m wrong). like Dobbie and Sunil, their bodies were left untouched and in relatively ordinary sitting positions, in complete stark contrast to the bodies left in the wake of pricks like Rennick and Trots.

speaking of, after the initial incident occurs, we first encounter Trots in the laundry room attempting to use the machines & grumbling about the tidiness of things ("i told them it's not right” / “do they even notice the mess?"). clearly we suspect his mind is infected, showing signs that The Shape is manipulating him in some way, but still he continues slamming the machine doors closed.

Rennick was obviously (a massive cunt. insane kudos to Clive Russell for his brilliant performance btw) fuming at Caz from the get-go. when he's infected he becomes enraged and malicious, shouting after him things like, "i told you to go, McLeary! i'll make you fucking go…" etc. how poetic is it that Rennick, with his inflated sense of ego and pride, becomes a meatmonster whose head is Literally too big for the room.

why were Trots, Muir, Rennick, Gibbo, and Addair the only ones to become like this. was it purely random? did something about who they were or how they died determine their transformation? is there some psychological or biological compatibility with them and The Shape?

regardless of any definitive answers, it’s interesting to think about. what remains of these people’s existence when infected seems to be some rooted insecurity or fear of theirs, or perhaps a continuation/parody of what they were experiencing or thinking the moment before compromise, or maybe it’s simply some grotesque and exaggerated aspect of their personality or behaviour…

this can be said for Caz too, despite not having truly changed, as every time he comes into contact with The Shape he enters this catatonic, dream-like state where he's consumed by his own memories. Suze's voice even seems to haunt him later, and things she’s said reverberate in his mind, manipulated just to torment him.

personally i’d be curious to know if this is all Actually deliberate as part of The Shape’s absorption of their bodies, or if it’s just a by-product or symptom. does it feeds on or use these heightened aspects of humanity (their personalities, fears, emotions) to function? do they have motivations beyond just removing those that intruded in their territory (i have an unarticulated white blood cell/antibodies analogy to compare this to, somewhere…)

another thing i’d love more info on is what exactly occurs inside the human body when The Shape invades. during the game you come across countless assimilated bodies left immobile and static around the rig. they have impossibly contorted limbs, either mutated, or abnormally large, and sometimes they even have extra limbs (i swear i saw a meatpile with three noses somewhere). it's unclear whether this organism actually feeds on humans… but some workers turn into monstrosities and some become these immobile, living macabre sculptures. why? and who's to say any of them are actually even dead?

finally, i feel there there's smth to say about the genetic/biological/DNA motif in this game. it could definitely be described better, by someone who isn’t me, but it’s distinctly symbolic of human beings (and whether it’s deliberate or not, i don���t know).

to wrap this up i’ll just highlight the most significant moment that captured that for me. towards the end of the game you overlook the remains of the upper deck and bear witness to the near-final of The Shape having gradually risen up from the ground. it’s illuminated by a haunting pinkish-red glow, an amalgamation of twisted, fleshy tendrils and metal bridges spiral upwards towards the sky like a double-stranded helix… like DNA…

[tonydaddingham]

ive had an epiphany (i think, hard to tell) and im going to shove it under a cut because 1) it's going to be long as shite and feral in tone, 2) if im right about this it could potentially be a spoiler, and 3) if im wrong then its at least camouflaged slightly

(does NOT however contain The Spoiler but references it in the abstract)

but i hereby submit for your consideration my thoughts on what s2 is going to be

okay let's get down to business bitch, tbh i just want to write down my thought process on what s2 might look like, crackpot theories and all

Amazon makes a reference to two things in their synopsis that i and others have remarked on before and think the wording is incredibly important: "attempt to fix a relationship", and "things become increasingly unsafe for them, in the past and the present"

to be completely blunt, and ill explain why ive arrived at this as i go, i think the plot might just be centred around the ineffable plan going to hell (metaphorically but see also: literally) in a handbasket

the whole point by the end of s1 is that noone knows god's true plan, and the fact that the little-apocalypse-that-could may have been the true plan all along. that the world is not meant to end, and that whatever follows is gods intention

so what happens if something or someone messes around with it? say, perhaps, crowley and aziraphale being chronically unable to mind their own business, and get caught up in fixing a relationship that may not have ever been intended in the first place? or, at the very least, aziraphale started it?

and what happens once they start meddling? would, perchance, things start going wrong in the timeline? their own personal one, and that of others? is this well intentioned matchmaking clusterfuck the epicentre for all things that have Happened to unravel?

take gabriel for instance. does something change on the timeline, in the ineffable plan, that means he gets punished for his part in s1? and heaven clocks that something has gone awry and sets out to find out where he's gone and what caused it? like, my boy goob was practically sent to earth to sit on the naughty step

the bit in the trailer where he gets his purple eyes back - is that part of alternate timeline unraveling? gabriel starts leaking through into goob?

did sandalphon suffer the same fate, and that's why he's not in S2? (i know the actor wasn't available but presumably they will explain his absence in plot terms)

beelzebub! they look like they've gone missing too, been punished and relegated somewhere else - was that meant to happen? the demons start to rise up and it looks like they come to attack the bookshop,

and what about the Dinner of 41? was that even meant to happen? or is it an alternate timeline of the church scene, and aziraphale and crowley end up having a wee romantic dinner and a bit of a cwtch?

the scene in the graveyard in the late 1800s? is that another true flashback scene, or is that the holy water argument gone differently? aziraphale agrees to help crowley get it, and takes him to a church at night to help retrieve it?

i think somehow the jukebox mystery plays a role here too - is the jukebox being stuck on buddy holly the first clue to aziraphale that something has gone wrong? that there's no reason for a song from 1957 to suddenly be playing on repeat, and it's a little rip in the timeline that sets them on trying to sort out what the hell has happened, and what caused it?

magician aziraphale: might be a flashback, or just simply a cute scene in the overall plot, or given that there were pictures and advertisements for his magic act, did he suddenly become a famous magician? literally able to do miracles, and he loves it, so why not have a side hustle?

im not going to go in depth of The Spoiler because i don't want to ruin someone's day, but does The Spoiler happen on the alternate timeline? after the "there's just god, moving in mysterious ways" scene? 👀

the weather starts going fucky, and all the green mist that was in the poster AND at the end of the trailer when the demons descend - not necessarily indicative of anything but seems rather catastrophic and other-worldly

and then the opening sequence! there's so much i could look at but the general atmosphere of 'everything has gone to shit' is really apparent, and little details like "the ladies of camelot", the bomb dropping, and the Titanic (?) in the side of the hill at the end is all screaming to me as being hints of major events having been messed up, or at least different points of time colliding

and lastly!!! (for now) the picture of the school of athens by raphael. other, better people have speculated on it better than i can, but ultimately i think we can firmly take this as an indication that crowley, aziraphale, and goob weren't meant to be there originally

(SIKE one more thing) then recently prime social media recently shared infographics of aziraphale and crowley's historic timeline from s1e3 and, not to be a knob about it, it was bold of them to assume that we don't have that half hour of screentime memorised frame for frame... So why remind us???

i have no meaningful way of concluding this other than the fact that i will continue to minutely analyse everything we've had so far re: s2, including the opening sequence, bts photos, the trailer, all of it... because idk about you but i am either lightyears away from predicting s2 or im about to win the leisure cruise and 5000 quid spending money... and there will be no in between

[ttaibhse]

i feel like im really getting to the good stuff in disco elysium now btw. it took so long but things are hotting up now that (spoilers) ive got shot and saved kims life. i did have to save scum a bit because the lethal boombox woman killed me and i am straight up not ever going to start this game from the beginning again lol and then i got sooo scared i was going to die again of getting shot and have to do that bit again -_- but no worries. also saw a comment the other day that was like "why was there no romance between kim & harry? we felt their relationship was stronger if it was unconsummated" or some shite like that which frankly im sick of i need some gay people to start consummating it lol. but at the same time i get it. but it does annoy me

[minti-tales]

what glams do u use on minti??

Anon.

Sweet, wonderful, delightful Anon.

Imagine (with your consent) that I'm pulling you in real close, like Gaston to LeFou, and I'm about to burst into my signature song.

You're in for a good time.

And by good time, I mean an extra long post where I talk about Ms. Minti and her fashions as of the start to the Dawntrail expansion.

I'm writing this the day before Dawntrail drops, so I don't have *everything* available, but I'll update this once servers go back online.

RIGHT. SO. Story time.

Back when I started XIV, I played Arcanist. I had one job. I didn't like that job, so I swapped to Lancer. I kept swapping jobs until I got to, I think Dark Knight? Which I did for a while, until I got to Shadowbringers. I leveled up jobs for the role quests, not much else happened, until I hit Endwalker and start doing Endwalker stuff. It's specifically when I saw the "A Life of Adventure IV" achievement that Things Start Happening.

In case you don't know, "A Life of Adventure IV" says

Obtain the achievements "Mastering War IV" and "Mastering Magic IV."

You get an Amaro mount. For curious sprouts, this is a flying bird(?) mount that appears in the Shadowbringers expansion. Without spoilers, it's pretty special! It doesn't have any special animations, but it's important to the story and will make you cry.

You can't get this bird elsewhere in the game.

What do you need for "Mastering War IV" and "Mastering Magic IV"?

Mastering War IV says

Achieve level 80 as a gladiator, pugilist, marauder, lancer, archer, rogue, dark knight, machinist, samurai, gunbreaker, and dancer.

You get a title. Neat.

Mastering Magic IV says

Achieve level 80 as a conjurer, thaumaturge, arcanist, astrologian, and red mage.

You get a title. Also neat.

What we need to do is get level 80 on all combat jobs that were available to play during the Shadowbringers expansion. As of Dawntrail, that is everything but Sage, Reaper, Blue Mage, Viper, and Pictomancer.

Almost. Every. Combat. Class.

For a bird.

A special bird.

You know what you get for getting all those classes plus Sage and Reaper to 90?

A Chocobo plume.

For your head.

No bird.

No special bird.

So, I had a goal. I had a lot of goals, at the time, that I kept updated on the Notes app on my phone. I started taking Adderall during this time, which I needed for my general mental health, and more recently Lexapro for other pressing mental health needs. Is this too much information? Yes, BUT they helped me to stay focused, get my shite done, and tell my anxiety (which has been my "manager" for a very long time) to stop managing my life.

Reader, gentle reader, I got all those classes up to 90. I got Blue Mage up to 80.

For a bird.

A special bird.

It was worth it.

We're dividing this up into sections. You good? Yes? Hydrated? Had a snack?

If you want me to talk about the glams for the Choir, that's going to be a separate post. I think Tumblr's going to get mad if I make this too long, or, I may lose all this lovely progress in the drafts, because Tumblr does SUCH A GOOD JOB of keeping your drafts saved.

~---~

My Main Classes

As of the start of Dawntrail, I have all available combat classes leveled to 90. Blue Mage is currently maxed out at 80. (No idea when I'm going back to the Carnivale, sorry what's your name. Maybe when I have time in Dawntrail.)

When I run content, I usually choose from:

Warrior or Gunbreaker

White Mage or Sage

Dragoon or Samurai

Dancer or occasionally Bard

Summoner or Red Mage

I like the other classes, but I feel like these are the ones that I vibe with the most. Not too complex, not too simple (with the exception of Summoner), just the right amount of thinking to come out alive and look cool while you're doing your LBs.

~---~

Glams

Please note that I will not be providing the base equipment, just glamours. Everything is organized by role.

~---~

Tank Classes

~---~

Paladin

Current Glam Name: Shiva's Champion

Arms: True Ice Brand/True Ice Shield

Headwear: Altered Mythril Magnifiers (Loam Brown Dye)

Body: Tigerskin Coat of Fending (Royal Blue Dye)

Hands: Doman Iron Gauntlets of Fending

Legs: Kudzu Longkilt of Fending (Snow White Dye)

Feet: Doman Iron Greaves of Fending

Earring: Wayfarer's Earcuff

Neckpiece: Patriot's Choker

Bracelet: The Emperor's New Bracelet

Rings: Hero's Ring of Healing (2x)

---

Warrior

Current Glam Name: Monster Hunter, Slayer of Rathalos

Arms: Majestic Manderville Bardiche

Headwear: Rathalos Helm [F]

Body: Rathalos Mail [F]

Hands: Rathalos Vambraces [F]

Legs: Rathalos Coil [F]

Feet: Rathalos Greaves [F]

Earring: Storm Sergeant's Ear Cuffs

Neckpiece: Horn Necklace

Bracelet: The Emperor's New Bracelet

Rings: Hero's Ring of Healing (2x)

---

Dark Knight

Current Glam: Shadowbringer

Arms: Shadowbringer

Headwear: Altered Mythril Magnifiers (Loam Brown Dye)

Body: Idealized Bale Cuirass

Hands: Idealized Bale Gauntlets

Legs: Idealized Bale Flanchard

Feet: Idealized Bale Sollerets

Earrings: Augmented Shire Conservator's Earrings

Neckpiece: Patriot's Choker

Bracelet: Ishgardian Historian's Bracelet

Rings: Hero's Ring of Healing (2x)

---

Gunbreaker

Current Glam: Iron Cowpoke

Arms: Mandervillious Gunblade

Headwear: Altered Mythril Magnifiers (Loam Brown Dye)

Body: Virtu Bodyguard's Coat (General-purpose Jet Black Dye)

Hands: Metian Gauntlets (General-purpose Dark Brown Dye)

Legs: Virtu Bodyguard's Trousers (General-purpose Dark Blue Dye)

Feet: Outsider's Boots

Earrings: Wayfarer's Earcuff

Necklace: Wayfarer's Necklace

Bracelet: The Emperor's New Bracelet

Rings: Hero's Ring of Healing (2x)

~---~

Healer Classes

~---~

White Mage & Scholar

Current Glam: Ramuh's Grand Arbiter

Arms: Kelesis

Headwear: Altered Mythril Magnifiers (Loam Brown Dye)

Body: Void Ark Robe of Healing

Hands: Orison Fingerless Gloves (Lavender Purple Dye)

Legs: Kudzu Longkilt of Healing (Lavender Purple Dye)

Feet: Orison Thighboots

Earrings: Wayfarer's Earcuff

Necklace: Horn Necklace

Bracelet: The Emperor's New Bracelet

Rings: Weathered Ring (2x)

---

Astrologian

Current Glam: Classic Astrologian

Arms: Dreadwyrm Torquetum

Headwear: Altered Mythril Magnifiers (Loam Brown Dye)

Body: Welkin Robe

Hands: Welkin Half Sleeves

Legs: Welkin Breeches

Feet: Welkin Shoes

Earrings: Storm Sergeant's Ear Cuffs

Necklace: Horn Necklace

Bracelet: The Emperor's New Bracelet

Ring: Hero's Ring of Healing (2x)

---

Sage

Current Glam: New World Bound

Arms: Isnae Phis

Headwear: Isle Shepherd's Headdress

Body: Peacelover's Shirt (Dalamud Red Dye)

Hands: Ravel Keeper's Halfgloves of Healing (General-purpose Pastel Pink Dye)

Legs: Peacelover's Pantaloons (Othard Blue Dye)

Feet: Expeditioner's Moccasins

Earrings: Wayfarer's Earcuff

Neckpiece: Wayfarer's Necklace

Bracelet: The Emperor's New Bracelet

Rings: Weathered Ring (2x)

~---~

Melee DPS Classes

~---~

Monk

Current Glam: Turtle Power

Arms: Shinryu's Ephemeral Claws

Headwear: The Emperor's New Hat

Body: Oyoroi of the Blue

Hands: Kote of the Blue

Legs: Tsutsu-hakama of the Blue

Feet: Sune-ate of the Blue

Earrings: Wayfarer's Earcuff

Neckpiece: Wayfarer's Necklace

Bracelet: Aetherial Coral Armillae

Rings: Hero's Ring of Healing (2x)

---

Dragoon

Current Glam: The Spear of Hydaelyn

Arms: Partisan of Divine Light

Headwear: Altered Mythril Magnifiers (Loam Brown Dye)

Body: Tiamat Mail

Hands: Tiamat Gauntlets

Legs: Tiamat Trousers

Feet: Tiamat Greaves

Earrings: Wayfarer's Earcuff

Neckpiece: Wayfarer's Necklace

Bracelet: Aetherial Coral Armillae

Rings: Hero's Ring of Healing (2x)

---

Ninja

Current Glam: Quick As Lightning

Arms: Phthonos

Headwear: Scion Rogue's Bandana

Body: Hachiya Chainmail

Hands: Hachiya Tekko

Legs: Hachiya Tsutsu-hakama

Feet: Hachiya Zori

Earrings: Wayfarer's Earcuff

Neckpiece: Wayfarer's Necklace

Bracelet: The Emperor's New Bracelet

Rings: Hero's Ring of Healing (2x)

---

Samurai

Current Glam: Cyber Swordswoman

Arms: Mandervillious Samurai Blade

Headwear: Idealized Kasuga Hanbo (General-purpose Metallic Silver Dye)

Body: Idealized Kasuga Haori (Void Blue Dye)

Hands: Idealized Kasuga Kote (Soot Black Dye)

Legs: Idealized Kasuga Tsutsu-hakama (Soot Black Dye)

Feet: Late Allagan Sollerets of Striking (General-purpose Metallic Silver Dye)

Earrings: Wayfarer's Earcuff

Neckpiece: Redbill Scarf

Bracelet: The Emperor's New Bracelet

Rings: Hero's Ring of Healing (2x)

---

Reaper

Current Glam: The Mockingbird

Arms: Kinna Sickle

Headwear: Red Viola Corsage

Body: Neo-Ishgardian Top of Maiming (Dalamud Red Dye)

Hands: Muzhik Field Dressing (Dalamud Red Dye)

Legs: Thavnarian Tights (Dalamud Red Dye)

Feet: Scion Healer's Highboots

Earrings: Halonic Friar's Earrings

Neckpiece: Redbill Scarf

Bracelet: The Emperor's New Bracelet

Rings: Hero's Ring of Healing (2x)

~---~

Physical Ranged DPS Classes

~---~

Bard

Current Glam: The Song of the Sea

Arms: Storm Captain's Bow

Headwear: Augmented Crystarium Blinder of Aiming (Soot Black Dye)

Body: Aoidos' Cloak (Wine Red Dye)

Hands: Aoidos' Shoulder Gloves (Soot Black Dye)

Legs: Aoidos' Tights

Feet: Lominsan Soldier's Boots

Earrings: Augmented Shire Conservator's Earrings

Neckpiece: Horn Necklace

Bracelet: Aetherial Coral Armillae

Rings: Hero's Ring of Healing (2x)

---

Machinist

Current Glam: Thanalan Outlaw

Arms: Fomalhaut

Headwear: Nabaath Scarf of Aiming

Body: Ravel Keeper's Chestwrap of Aiming (Gobbiebag Brown Dye)

Hands: Gazelleskin Armguards of Aiming (Mole Brown Dye)Rakshasa Hakama of Aiming (Gobbiebag Brown Dye)

Legs: Rakshasa Hakama of Aiming (Gobbiebag Brown Dye)

Feet: Anemos Boots

Earrings: Augmented Shire Conservator's Earrings

Neckpiece: Wayfarer's Necklace

Bracelet: The Emperor's New Bracelet

Rings: Hero's Ring of Healing (2x)

---

Dancer

Current Glam: Dancer of Light

Arms: Chakrams of Light

Headwear: Bozjan Hood of Aiming (General-purpose Jet Black Dye)

Body: Ravel Keeper's Chestwrap of Aiming (General-purpose Jet Black Dye)

Hands: Bozjan Armguards of Aiming (General-purpose Jet Black Dye)

Legs: Plain Long Skirt (Wine Red Dye)

Feet: Zonsureskin Sandals of Aiming (General-Purpose Jet Black Dye)

Earrings: Wayfarer's Earcuff

Neckpiece: Wayfarer's Necklace

Bracelet: Aetherial Coral Armillae

Rings: Hero's Ring of Healing (2x)

~---~

Magic Ranged DPS Classes

~---~

Black Mage

Current Glam: Archmage of Ronka

Arms: Asura's Rod

Headwear: Altered Mythril Magnifiers (Loam Brown Dye)

Body: Spaekona's Coat

Hands: Spaekona's Wrist Torque

Legs: Spaekona's Skirt

Feet: Spaekona's Shoes

Earrings: Wayfarer's Earcuff

Necklace: Wayfarer's Necklace

Bracelet: The Emperor's New Bracelet

Rings: Weathered Ring (2x)

---

Summoner

Current Glam: ARR Summoner

Arms: Lemegeton Anemos

Headwear: Idealized Beckoner's Horn

Body: Idealized Beckoner's Coat

Hands: Idealized Beckoner's Fingerless Gloves

Legs: Idealized Beckoner's Sarouel

Feet: Idealized Beckoner's Crakows

Earrings: Wayfarer's Earcuff

Necklace: Wayfarer's Necklace

Bracelet: Aetherial Coral Armillae

Rings: Hero's Ring of Healing (2x)

---

Red Mage

Current Glam: The Cavalier of Roses

Arms: Tropaios Rapier

Headwear: Pince-nez

Body: Virtu Duelist's Tabard

Hands: Virtu Duelist's Gloves

Legs: Virtu Duelist's Breeches

Feet: Virtu Duelist's Thighboots

Earrings: Royal Volunteer's Earrings of Casting

Neckpiece: Horn Necklace

Bracelet: Aetherial Coral Armillae

Rings: Hero's Ring of Healing (2x)

~---~

Limited Classes

~---~

Blue Mage

Current Glam: It's A Blue, Blue, Blue Blue Mage

Arms: The Spirit of the Whalaqee

Headwear: Altered Mythril Magnifiers (Loam Brown Dye)

Body: Appointed Jacket (Royal Blue Dye)

Hands: No. 2 Type B Gloves

Legs: Angelic Slops (General-purpose Jet Black Dye)

Feet: Appointed Shoes (Pearl White Dye)

Earrings: Wayfarer's Earcuff

Neckpiece: Wayfarer's Necklace

Bracelet: Augmented Cryptlurker's Bracelet of Casting

Rings: Augmented Cryptlurker's Ring of Casting (2x)

---

That should be everything except my crafter gears, which I'm not focusing on right now. Hope to see you in Dawntrail!

This took a while to catalogue!!

[bbygirl-aemond]

You may already be aware, but I actually found ppl going back and forth on Reddit about a post you'd made on here (re Viserys being a shite parent). It's under r/HouseOfTheDragon in case you ever wanted to check it out. I just recognized your name, as I follow you and it was shared as a screenshot from here.

lmao i will never get over how wild reposting on the internet actually is. that fucker has over a thousand comments and i had no idea until you told me just now! literally made a reddit account to try to add my voice to the din just to encourage people to discuss on the original platform so i can see but tbh people on reddit are a lot meaner than tumblr so i won't be mad if it doesn't get too many upvotes.

reddit's responses to this post is such an interesting case study in the polarization that's happening everywhere online. i get SO MANY accusations of being wildly biased from supporters of both "teams" all the time and it's funny because like am i too team green or too team black bc i can't be both right? mostly i think it's because people get really defensive when you criticize a character and assume it means you hate them. like bruh we are adults with big girl emotions can't it be a little more complex than that?

when i say i think viserys is a bad parent, i'm not saying it as team green propaganda. i've said before that rhaenyra is the rightful ruler and that i absolutely adore her as a character (let's just say aemond isn't my only babygirl). there's a reason i've written 100k+ words of fanfic designing a political scenario where she'll be able to happily rule without any of her children dying. spoiler alert: it's not because i hate her and think she's a bad ruler. and she's far from the only character on team black i love: daemon, jacaerys, lucerys, and baela all come to mind.

it's also really interesting to me that people see my opinion about viserys and, even though i literally did not mention rhaenyra, assume that i'm somehow shitting on her. it just goes to show how much they stand blindly by one team or another. that to criticize one member of their "team" feels to them like you're criticizing every member. like baby, i'm not the one making it about teams: you are! honestly, i understand why the team mentality was a good marketing move, but it really has been the death of critical thinking in this fandom. there are aspects of both that we're meant to root for, just as there are aspects of both we're meant to hate. none of these people are objectively morally good, and that's what makes it interesting, so why are we trying to pretend otherwise?

so while yes, i don't like viserys, why would i extend that dislike to rhaenyra? it's not like she forced him at gunpoint to do the things i'm criticizing him for lol. in fact, i think viserys did her just as dirty most of the time. i have another post in the works about this, but he neglected her for her entire childhood, groomed her best friend and dealt with telling her in the worst possible way, and made her heir in a bid for her affection yet did none of the actual work to honor her as a ruler. he could have made her his hand but instead he made her pour his wine?

now, again, just because we dislike part of something does not mean it's all bad. do i think viserys is generally quite a bad parent and person? absolutely. did i also cry ugly tears in the scene where he forces himself up from his literal deathbed to defend his daughter? yes. these two things can coexist.

also, because reddit is reddit, there are a bunch of comments that just miss my point about alicent and aemma entirely. i've already responded to those in a post here so i won't beat a dead horse too much. but to paraphrase: viserys married alicent because he liked her specifically not for duty or he would've married someone who wouldn't horrify the entire small council; and aemma didn't need to be alive and conscious for the pain she was put through at the end of her life. the things he did to his wives weren't necessary and i don't think we should be pretending they were.

lastly, it's really funny to me how many people incorrectly assumed i was a man in the comments. i'm genuinely the girliest girl to ever girl in real life (makeup jewelry and tits to the gods, sorority girly, the whole nine yards, i love it) and it gave me such whiplash. there's a joke to be made here about trying to weaponize male privilege somewhere.

[eurofox]

Like a dragon/Yakuza: The man who erased his name review

This was way better than ishin!. Lot's of spoilers

I had low expectations for this because I'd heard it was just planned DLC that was quickly turned into a full length game but it's great.

The story moves along at a far quicker pace than usual but that was to be expected, it's a small timeline that's confined to 7 and 8's story. I saw people say they didn't understand why this existed at all and that kiryu's story should have ended with 6 but frankly I'm glad we're getting more. I found 6's ending to be kind of shitty and I want to know how the bodyguard situation came to be

Kiryu is so fucking miserable in this game and the voice actor does a great job conveying it. Even all his little ordinary task phrases are just so fed up sounding. The end scene were he's breaking down actually had me tear up a little, first time in the whole series.

Akame is basically the Florist again, but less annoying. I was meh on her at first but she grew on me

The baddies are pretty good with how short the game is and shishido was a good rep for all the guys at the bottom who are left floundering with the dissolution. Tsureno was a great character, I'd like to see more of him. The kpop nishitani guy was ok, but I'd prefer they just killed him off instead of having him repeatedly survive.

The plot itself is the usual over the top nonsense, and it does tie it all in fairly well. Kiryu swanning about in the world's shittiest disguise required a serious suspension of disbelief though. As well as characters not using guns when they should have. I know some characters saw through the obvious bullshit but still. The castle ship not being found by police was also kind of silly but we've already had purgatory so whatever (i prefer castle to purgatory, more flair). The whole daidoji thing was strange at times, but I guess they'll flesh them out more in future games. The big final battle alonside the jimas' was cool, even if kiryu couldn't really acknowledge them. Felt bad for Daigo though, only one shocked he's alive and he isn't allowed to speak to the guy. Also LOL at Watase getting stabbed in his Peter griffin fit, so unnecassary. Also he didn't delete the footage he just broke the phone screen

Combat was really good, agent was a nice change of pace and yakuza felt powerful, exactly what i wanted after Ishin and it's low damage dealing. Rocket shoes are my new favourite thing, drones were a bit shite though. Progression is straightforward, no fuckign around with random trainers, just pay with your yen and get the moves. Did seem like my grabs failed most of the time though, but I did rush things. Some great Long battles, again an area I felt ishin was lacking

Music is fine, mostly the long battle themes that stood out. Can't remember most of the boss themes. Good karaoke selection.

Still lots of mini games despite being a kind of filler entry. Lots of master system games, although i found them all a bit shite. Live action hostess clubs are uncomfortable and weird. Sonic the fighters is great still. The joryu clan thing wasn't bad but I'm glad the DLC characters were included in the sale I found because fucking hell they were not worth it. All this time I wanted playable Daigo and when they finally allow it he only has a bare bones move set. The fucking AI daigo has more moves so what the hell?

Sub stories only being through the Akame network is odd. Half are really good ones with lots of throw backs to earlier games and half are tedious 'go there and fight this guy' for your colosseum team missions. I couldn't get one to trigger despite fulfilling conditions so there's that. Also the walk around missions are boring.

The akame network and the colosseum were used as filler during the story and that got old very fast.

Really enjoyed this game and I'm hyped for 8.

Things I liked:

Emotional gut punch of an ending

Cool throwback substories

Ghost substory

Akame isn't bad as far as female yakuza characters go and they didn't kill her off/send her to her planet that needs her at the end

Ties up things

Great long battles

Agent style is a nice change

Finally get Playable Daigo!

Things I didn't like:

Some tedious substories (red peacocks anybody?)

Kiryu's dumbass disguise

Obvious filler missions

Playable Daigo isn't very good!

[ladykatakuri]

Falling

A/N: Well hello there! This is a little Tech drabble I just had to write after watching the TBB season 2 finale. It has been a while that I have been very active and I am planning on being active again soon, more active that is. If you have not watched the S2 finale of TBB, then this does contain spoilers! As always, all likes, shares and especially comments are more then welcome!

Character: Tech

W.C: 349

TW: Implied serious injury

Darkness. A deep darkness now seems to surround him completely.The last thing he saw were Omega and Wrecker reaching for him.  At first there is a distant sound of the mountains and the surrounding terrain that provide him with some comfort. All too sudden that too fades into nothing. Now, all that is left is the sensation of actually losing all of his senses. Where there used to be sounds, silence remains. Not even the beating of his own heart can be heard. The feeling of the wind blowing across his skin and his muscles contracting after eventful times have slowly numbed. Taste was the last sensation to go. The taste of bile that found its way into his mouth when he realized the situation he and his brothers and sister were in, the decision he immediately made. “I am falling.”

He is left with his thoughts as he falls. “I have failed and so I fall.” He waits and it seems to take forever to reach the end of itl. Suddenly, all sensations return , all at once. His body overwhelmed by the sudden shock of their return, the last thought before his mind completely shuts down is for his family, all of them. “Be safe.”

When the stormtroopers reach him, what stands out is his little smile.

Hemlock observes the medic through a transparisteel window before he taps it once, gesturing for the medic working on the person lying on the cot to come to him. “I will be taking those goggles now.” Taking the goggles from the side table, the medic takes a quick look at its owner now lying in a deep coma, hooked up and well monitored. “I will be offworld to collect a new specimen. Comm me as soon as he is awake and bring the other one to the medical trials.” Hemlock moves away, goggles in one hand as he looks at a message he received not too long ago speaking of the female clone he will soon have control over and thus over the Kaminoan scientist currently in a holding cell.

Taglist: @imabeautifulbutterfly@chaoticvampirejedi@hellothere-generalangsty@cyroku@reluctant-mandalore@uponrightful@zinzinina@saradika@galacticgraffiti@ashotofspotchka@dindjarindiaries@dinbeskarbaby@djarrex@djarinsbeskar@rowansparrow@photogirl894@rigelmoonshine@rigel-the-moonstrider@nahoney22@loth-wolffe@neon-junkie@bobafetts-princess@cyarbika@charnelhouse@zoeykallus@kin-rokku@jgvfhl@honestly-shite@here-comes-the-moose@dindjarindiaries@firstofficerwiggles@fictional-men-ruin-lives @ladysongmaster @lozalot @moonstrider9904@lorjukka@m-o-o-n-s-g-o-o-n-s @rain-on-kamino @monako-jinn-stories @middimidoris @wild-karrde @cross-my-heartt @arctrooper69 @eyecandyeoz

[kurayami-no-ko]

Another Sannan hen song

This is the song during the love confession and kissing scene. I love how they keep it very close to the original VN text. I don’t have the text of the actual song so it is likely I make a lot of mistakes in writing down the Japanese text, which will make my translation inaccurate, too. Thankfully, they make this song similar to the VN dialogues in some words and phrases so I can check, compare and correct the lyrics I wrote down by listening. If you want to avoid spoilers for Sannan Hen, it is best for you to not click on Keep reading as this scene happens late into the musical.

Sannan hen’s love song

山南：消した一つのありえないもの

いつ消えるかわからないこの影で

ともに願ったしまったもの

---

Sannan: Keshita hitotsu no arienaimono

Itsu kieru ka wakaranai kono kage de

tomo ni negatta shimatta mono

---

Sannan: The fact that I am going to die is one thing that is unavoidable

It is unclear when this phantom is going fade away

So this wish of us being together

---

千鶴：ありえるものとそももいに旅を続け

巡り歩いたとそれが夢だと

ほしえてくれました

---

Chizuru: Arieru mono to so momo i ni tabi wo tsuduke

Meguri aruita to sore ga yume da to

Hoshiete kuremashita

---

Chizuru: It is possible that we may go on a journey

To be able to walk together with you

Is a dream that I hold

---

山南、千鶴：何者であるか答えをしなさい

千鶴：それでもいい

旅をしてから

誰も知らない

影ももいいかげながら

山南：何者であるか

きみだけはわかぬ

千鶴：私もあなたの

---

Sannan, Chizuru: Nani mono dearu ka kotae wo shinasai

Chizuru: Soredemo ii

Tabi wo shite kara

Dare mo shiranai

Kage mo mo ii kage nagara

Sannan: Nani mono dearu ka

Kimi dake ha wakanu

Chizuru: Watashi ha anata no

---

Sannan, Chizuru: So please answer what kind of thing I am (you are)

Chizuru: It is fine that way

To go on a journey

Where no one knows us

And it doesn’t matter that you are a phantom

Sannan: You are the only one

Who does not understand what I am

Chizuru: I am your...

---

Dialogue section so I won’t put the Japanese here and only translate the meaning:

Sannan: Wake up.

Chizuru: I don’t mind not waking up. This time, I will believe in you. Sannan-san, please bring me along on the path that you are following. Please don’t leave and go on your own.

Sannan: Now, have you prepared yourself?

Chizuru: What, um, should I prepare myself for?

Sannan: Prepare your lips to be closed up by me.

Singing part resumes

---

山南：ともに歩むと言うなら

命代えて

千鶴：信じていますから

しをあなたのかげをいたいいから

山南：守るために一つに

千鶴：あなたのいい場所になりたいから

---

Sannan: Tomo ni ayumu to iu nara

Inochi kaete

Chizuru: Shinjite i masu kara

Shi wo anata no kage wo ita ii kara (Honestly I am confused about this part)

Sannan: Mamoru tameni hitotsu ni

Chizuru: Anata no ii basho ni naritai nara

---

If you talk about us journeying together

I am willing to exchange my life

Chizuru: Because I believe in you

Because I don’t mind that you are a phantom

Sannan: The one thing I have to do is to protect you

Chizuru: Because I want to be your good place.

[tsuki-sennin]

*Deep breath* Wahahahaha~! Make way, peons! It's a festival, a festival I say! Coming to Sorashido City whether you like it or not! Wahahahaha! So... Princess Elle of Sky Land is feeling great sorrow? Well now... we can hardly have that now can we?

This tremendous sweet sixteen for Hirogaru Sky PreCure! Is it a worthy telling of such an iconic legend?

Oh, by the way, by the time you're likely reading this, it's the birthday of our very own Tsubasa Yuunagi~!

By the way, here be spoilers! You'd best tread with caution!

-Everywhere I go... I see his face. Tarou-san...

-Bwuh? Oh yeah, Ranborgs.

-And Captain Shalala just dipped.

-By the way Sora, I'm very proud of you for kicking so much ass last episode, you were awesome.

-Ageha, now hardly seems the time for puns.

-The birthday boy grits his teeth.

-Hello, Yoyo-san.

-"What's their fucking deal, Grandma?"

-Light and shadow. Heaven and Hell. North Carolina and South Carolina.

-Ohhhhhh!

-K

-Kira Kira Energy.

-...this feels oddly familiar.

-An apothecary~!

-Papa, Mama, yes~!

-Aw :(

-Kanashimi o taiji shite yu- No Tsuki! Restrain yourself. It's not yet time.

-Uhhhhh, theme song! I forget if I talked about it yet, but it's delightfully hopeful and (as expected of a Toei franchise) masterfully composed. The percussion especially is immaculate, a good percussion section knows exac

-Onitaijin.

-Ohhhh, puppet show~!

-Pretty Princess Butterfly.

-You are very based, Tsubasa. I forgive you, you filthy crimin- *Smack!* Focus!

-Momotaro~!

-We must hurry to Onigashima.

-Well, we could retell the story with an odd cast from previous seasons... Love/Peach would make a good Momotaro just off her name alone, you could make a strong argument for casting Kokone/Spicy or Akira/Chocolat as the dog, Asuka/Flamingo of course could be the pheasant as it's a neorinthe like a flamingo...

-I'm not quite sure who'd be the monkey in this case. ...Ako/Muse, perhaps? I'm genuinely not sure, I only started watching Suite a little while ago, but she does give me monkey vibes. Minori/Papaya'd make a good substitute if you don't think that counts though.

-She shreep

-Puppet play~!

-Don! Don! Donbura ko!

-Don Elletaro~! Fully formed and armed to the teeth!

-Prop recycling~! Wouldn't be a Toei production without it, huh?

-Well, you know how it is, Mashiron! Everybody loves to play with the tropes of fairy tales~! It's why we as a society love Shrek so much. And RWBY... and I guess if you're me, Saber.

-Yooooo! Nippon Ichi!

-Dango~!

-Furry Sora Jumpscare!

-Keep your face out of the kibble and we'll be just fine.

-Free Bread~!

-Elleeeetaro Zan, Elletaro Zan!

-And now... a Haiku.

Light from the blue sky

Caught in the shining prisms

Rainbows gayly form.

-Y'know, Shinichi would be giving Mashiro girl advice. And she'd go for it.

-We're all going pretty quick, eh? Mmmm... Momotaro had to do a bit of walking after.

-...there is a surprising (read: distressing) level of similarity between Tsubasa (Yuunagi, moderate amount of issues) and Tsuyoshi (Kijino, lots of issues).

-Y'know, male character in a predominantly female role, used for comic relief fairly often, being wildly popular among fans on Tumblr... all I'm saying is you might wanna keep an eye on Wing's love life. For his sake, and ours.

-We laughed, we cried, we had wacky misunderstandings, we had insane romance subplots, people died and came back, Kaito was there...

-To the port!

-Onigashima! Where the ogres gather.

-Ohhhhhhh

-There's something about the Underg, huh Granny?

-Elletaro's companions stand resolute in spite of their fears.

-This is the good stuff.

-...apparently the princess isn't quite a big fan. ...give it a few more minutes, it'll be really good.

-Here comes creepy Battamonda~! Who... most assuredly is not a Noto analogue. That's probably better reserved for Captain Shalala or from a certain perspective Kabaton.

-Oniiiiiiiiii~!

-Ageha may be voicing the Oni, but she's definitely no Haruka. ...if anything, she's much more of a Jiro type. Arguably even more so than whatever Fifth Cure we'll be getting.

-Hirogaru-ki!

-The special effects are ruined! Your suit budget is in shambles! The shippers are going apeshit!

-She walks!

-She speaks!

-She's done it!

-Baa~!

-The cloud has lifted.

-For Elletaro! Princess Elletaro~!

-...so uh... where're Sora's parents in all this?

-I don't mean to ruin this nice moment, but I find it a little concerning that they don't seem to have been appearing much.

-BIRDS

-"What up, fellas?"

-Instead of kidnapping, Battamonda prefers a spot of murder.

-Whoa, perfect catch!

-Hell yeah, Prism Punch!

-I love how floaty these fight scenes are.

-Down they go!

-Eat my ass, Battamonda.

-Keep moving forward! The princess says so!

-Wahahahahahahahaha! Shine on, dear companions!

-Whoa! Flash Bang!

-Man, the Sky Mirage just seems like a really neat little toy to play with.

-Into the mirror~! Okay!

-Mermaid Aqua Pot Moment.

-Have you considered maybe you're just a moron?

-Thank you again, Elle-chan.

-Walk style.

-Elletaro-san~! Elletaro-san~!

-Bread...

-So let's get the party started~! Don Don, Iitokomikke~! Tokuige! Ni mune harou ze Brother! WOO!

-Ah, uh, outro, outro! Very catchy, love the rhyme structure, the Butterfly teasing is making me seethe and cope, get your skinny ass in there already babe.

-Mashiron must run! And never look back!

-Now if you excuse me, I do believe I have an installment of a certain other franchise to get back to. One that also involves floating sky kingdoms, ancient legends, knights and heroes, a pig-themed villain, wildly bucking franchise conventions, gender stuff, and horrifying underground monstrosities.

-...look I could've just said "Zelda" and there'd have been no question, but that's okay, see youuuuuu~!