#spiritual struggles

[jasperbloom]

The Silence in Faith

I don't know what I believe anymore. I don't feel him anymore. When I pray I feel like no one is listening to me and I'm alone.

I'm losing my faith and I don't know what to do. I move through a dream, where shadows blur and nothing is real; whenever I try to think of the future I see nothing,

Nothing but darkness, a suffocating weight pressing on my chest.

I read to escape my world— but it’s not enough.

I want the noise in my head to quiet, I want the chaos to end.”

Sometimes, I wish I could die... But I can’t— people rely on me, so I must stay.

I will wait— but I still don’t feel him anymore.

This too will pass;

I will feel normal again.

Whatever normal even means anymore.

(I wrote this poem during a difficult time when I was struggling with my sexuality while being a Christian. It reflects feelings of doubt, isolation, and the search for faith amidst confusion.)

[seekerofholyanddivine]

I haven't been my Self lately, I haven't been honoring my true soul. Bad habits, lack of good ones that brighten the soul. Numbing myself with excess material things. I don't know why. Why am I avoiding my Self? Time to put down my phone and knuck up.

[nymphaestus]

okay so this is a bit of a rant and weird for me to be voicing actual thoughts on here (maybe i'll delete) but i felt like getting this out.

i just got back home from my bfs place (which is two hours away) today, and i've had several epiphanies. it's actually crazy how healing it is for me being there versus how energetically drained and overwhelmed i feel at home. and currently, i feel so ashamed of how i let that affect my worship and everyday practice.

i spent roughly two weeks there (uni is on strike rn and i work remotely so i admit i took that opportunity to flee lol) and during all of that i felt so spiritually connected all the time, had time to research things in my practice that i've been putting on hold for very long, reignited my burning love for this path and made me want to put more effort into it. in a way, reviving this blog was part of that start, since it's really the only way i can connect to a community that does what i do and understands my beliefs. also you guys are just very neat. just scrolling here makes my heart melt completely. it's beautiful to see.

i really want to get closer to my deities and restart my worship the right way. because a long time ago, for a number of reasons, i paused everything. and since then i've been non-practicing/low effort and subtly researching, but now i feel like i've neglected them for far too long. i've also been scared to even attempt to climb out of this hole i've dug myself into. it became a vicious cycle and it's ridiculous.

but these last two weeks were just so peaceful. so quiet. i longed for that. in the quiet i found myself listening to them again. i finally felt like i had the space to go into myself and face a part of me i had completely ignored! so it doesn't help that the minute i get back home, i'm bombarded with chaos!! and not the good kind lol!! i understand some things aren't all my family's fault, sometimes things just happen. it's also my job as part of it to help them through it, they're family. i get it. i love them. but fuck it's so draining. like i need to move out. i got back TODAY and the amount of craziness i had to deal with?? i beg of yall to be less messy cause i cannot handle this anymore.

i'm making it my mission now to absorb as much knowledge as i can, set aside some time to figure out what i want to do in my practice, then actually do something with it!! to really put effort into deity work, because if just thinking about the theoi moves me to tears, i cannot imagine how life would be if i were to put my whole heart into them.

i think this is also a reminder for me that it's okay to feel drained but don't settle into that energy. don't lose yourself. it's rough but it'll get better! cleanse your space. take care of yourself. do something. anything!!! you're a big girl. get moving!!!

[lolliepopper]

even if you are stuck i encourage you to rise spiritually, you are above this and this part of your life you can separate yourself and eventually you will leave, and time will heal all.🌬️

[johnskleats]

hey so do you guys remember how zuko was deemed worthy and blessed with the true nature of fire by the guardians of light themselves and became 100x the firebender he was after, with a newfound understanding and oneness with his element

kind of like how katara handled the moon and ocean spirit with her own hands and was blessed with unmatched waterbending power and oneness with her element and also spirit water but get this, also the healing ability to bring someone back from certain death

y'all remember that

[reclaiming-god]

queer love is beautiful and sacred, don't let anyone tell you otherwise 🫵

[fictionadventurer]

There's something about reading really great writing that's so relaxing. You can just sit back and let the words wash over you, knowing that you can trust the writer.

[vintage-tigre]

[swinging-stars-from-satellites]

guys please pray for me

[spectral-snippets-and-drabbles]

Schrodinger's Human: The Star Child

Halfa's aren't natural by any stretch of the imagination and they certainly were never supposed to come into existence. Yes, you could come come back as a zombie or a revenant, maybe even return as good as new or the complete opposite, but never truly return so... cleanly split.

Despite being the balance of both the living and the dead, Danny Phantom was never truly supposed to come to pass and was a happy accident, a one in an extremely rare umpteenth chance, rather than Danny Fenton dying in the unfortunate lab accident like in all the other timelines and multiverse.

Despite the truly miraculous odds of his survival, the young Halfling realized something was wrong somehow, when he awoke in the hospital. At first he thought it was because of the lab accident causing the scarring on his body and face that made people look away, but that wasn't it. It has been months and yet nobody looks his way.

Not once since the accident has his parents, sister, or his friends (or anyone, really) have looked him in the eyes. He just suspected that they must've felt guilty for getting him hurt...but then even his rouges seem to have always averted their gaze when they fight, so what gives!? Was the damage that severe? He likes to think he healed up pretty nicely with just a few prominent scars.

As Phantom, they weren't even visible! Then one day, he snapped after a particularly rough fight and demanded an answer, pinning the ghost and demanding, screaming, that they look him in his watery eyes.

"We can't! We physically can't look at you without adverting our gaze. Even the humans you call friends and family are unable to so much as look at you. We don't know why!"

It made Danny stop and think. Did...did he get a meta gene awoken from the lab accident? For his sanity, he deduces that it was some form of attention repellant power, that had to be it...right? After confronting his friends and family, they told them the same thing. At least the explanation was there. It made the pain bearable when he was around them.

Then the fight with Pariah Dark happened and everything went down hill from there (he just didn't know it yet).

It made Danny glad that the Ghost King couldn't see him properly (he stuck to the side with the eye patch) and continued his assault on the blind spots with gusto. It took a while but he eventually felled Dark and took the title of King of the Infinite Realms, much to his shock.

With the Ring of Rage and Crown in his possession, he returned to Amity Park exhausted, muttering to himself a desire before he let sleep take over.

"̸̙͐M̷̫̕a̶̯͗ỳ̸̲b̶̙͆e̵̳͋ ̸̹͆n̴̗̏ó̴͙w̸̖͂ ̵̢̀a̶̳͛ş̷̈́ ̴̡̒Ķ̵̊î̷̝n̸̻͌ĝ̷͕,̴̤̈́ ̵͓͗I̴͇͌ ̵̙͑c̸̣̀á̴̮n̷͕͝ ̴̫͐ơ̸̱r̷̮̆d̵̜͗e̷̲̊r̶̞͐ ̸̘̉g̵̖̈́h̵̝͊o̶̦̓s̷͎͂ț̷̂s̶̢̐ ̶̰̚t̵̠̐ỏ̵̺ ̷̘͋g̸̩̕o̷͉͝ ̵̣͋b̶̮͋ā̵̩c̸̨͆ǩ̵͍ ̴͙͘t̴͈͛ǫ̶͊ ̷͇̓ṱ̸̚h̴̞̀e̸̱͋ ̸͖͋R̸̲̀ë̸̪́ả̷̺l̸̙͝m̷̡͘s̶̢͒.̴̮̓.̵̤́.̸͖̈́ȁ̵̡t̸̖͂ ̵̺͐l̵̙͐e̴̢͘a̴͙͆s̶̼̔t̶̢̔ ̷̭̑ú̸͇n̸̗͗ť̷͖ǐ̷͜l̸͇̄ ̸̛̬I̶̺̾ ̶͔͂c̷̫̿a̸̟͊n̶̺̓ ̴̻͝f̶̦̒i̴̥͗ň̶̡i̸̡̊s̷̗̄h̶͖͐ ̵̝̒a̵̧̓ĺ̷̮l̷͍͐ ̶̤͠m̵̲̆y̷͎̐ ̸͙͌s̷̘͛c̵̯͋ḣ̵̖o̴͔͂o̶̫͝l̶͕͛ī̴̼n̴̝͋g̵͝ͅ ̷̨̿f̵̤͆ì̸͈r̸̥̆s̸̠̎ť̶̞,̶̧̑ ̸͈̅i̵̠͌n̴̻̉c̵̩̈́l̷̳͌ǘ̷̲d̵̟͂ĩ̸̳n̴͓͌g̴̪̈́ ̸̲̈c̸̗̿o̶̪͆l̴̤͋l̵̹͋ë̶͍́ä̸̼́g̷̼̑ủ̶̝e̷̩̿.̶͕̂.̸͈̾.̵͖͂I̴̞̽ ̵̣͘w̴̙͝i̵̯̚s̸̼̈h̸̦̉ ̸̟̓t̶̡͒h̵̨͊á̷̖t̵̛͕ ̷̨̿ĩ̴̡t̵̳̐.̷̫̄.̷͙̔.̶͎̃w̶̲͊a̶̳͝s̶̨̋ ̷̫̓t̴̜́h̵̢͌a̵̗͌ṯ̷̾.̵̠̕.̶̤́.̷͓̍ḛ̷̈́a̵̙͘s̷̭̔y̴͈͂.̵͉͂"̴̼̍

(Maybe now as King, I can order ghosts to go back to the Realms...at least until I can finish all my schooling first, including colleague...Yeah right...I wish that it...was that...easy.)

And like a true wish upon a star, it overidded all logic in the universe to the Boy King's whimsy. The ghosts left over night and all natural portals sealed themselves shut with no means to open themselves back up anytime soon.

And across the planet it vanished as well, stray pools of fermented ectoplasm, medicines that used it and even machinery powered by the stuff went missing, with the exception of the Fenton Ghost Zone Portal, that sealed it self with no means for anything to enter or exit.

The young Boy King's actions were far from subtle.

Many are now without their precious magic, Gods have llst their powers, the Speed Force had been stripped away, and Lanterns across all the emotional spectrum found themselves on their homeworlds with rings that failed to respond, their lights snuffed out. Two birds are now sound asleep, unable to open their eyes.

But before Nabu had been pulled out of his Helmet, he told his wearer one cruical message.

"The Source has been sealed away by a being powerful enough to possess all Sapient life in Multiverse, The Anti Life Equation has been unleashed."

[wiirocku]

Ephesians 6:12 (NIV) - For our struggle is not against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the powers of this dark world and against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly realms.

[mydayswithtarotbystella]

Finding Light in Darkness: My Journey to Self-Reliance and Healing

New beginnings, what does the day bring to you that makes you feel new and energized? What does your life consist of when you are full of energy? What are Your thoughts, and your habits?

New beginnings can be both exhilarating and daunting, especially when they involve overcoming personal struggles and reclaiming one’s space and autonomy. For some time now, I have been grappling with challenges that have deeply affected my sense of self and well-being. These issues, primarily involving my sister and J.T., have created a toxic environment where I feel my boundaries and personal…

[bumblingbabooshka]

I'VEGOTNOSOULINMYBODYI'VEJUSTGOTSOULINMYBRAIN I'VEGOTNOSOULINMYBODYI'VEJUSTGOTSOULINMYBRAIN I'VEGOTNOSOULINMYBODYI'VEJUSTGOTSOULINMYBRAIN [Patreon | Commissions]

[grubloved]

it has resulted in kind of a funny way to relate to other people who grew up the way i did because i never decided it was all a scam or whatever, or that some other thing was secretly the only true thing. i still say hello to my family's god when i visit home. those places and books and rituals still hold power, it is just a power that does not particularly like me very much. and that is fine by me. i belong to something else and it belongs to me and the rest of it is simply none of my concern.

[meegan420]

[moopsloops]

realizations