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#spice man
kply-industries · 1 year
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corpyburd · 1 year
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Eurovision's Sam Ryder sings your Indian takeaway order😆
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tennant-davids · 7 months
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i'm in tears who let david tennant out in public talking about 'twinkies'
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connabeth · 16 days
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weekend classes might be the most heinous trauma rick has inflicted onto percy yet
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cringefail-clown · 6 months
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comfort
a birthday gift for @borzoilover69 !!! happy borth dude, your dirkjakes bring me so much joy <3
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fidgetspringer-art · 2 months
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'What a wicked game you play, to make me feel this way' 'What a wicked thing to do, to let me dream of you'
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poelenta · 21 days
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from the womb of my brain i have birthed this iwtv ship alignment chart
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golden-afternoon · 6 months
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Yeah I was working on another actual fic but uhhh the 'Nari brainrot took over so uhhh here take me going insane over him and rambling about what comes to my mind. Kay? Kay.
Warnings - nsfw, mating cycle talk from a person who only has google by her side, absolutely not proofread having gone straight from brain to paper, and just know there is a solid chance I'll have more to say about this in the future.
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Tighnari, by his very nature, is a very compartmentalized person. His own problems stay within himself to be dealt with later when he is done and everyone else's needs are already attended to. Always concerned with helping others and keeping things in order, even to the point of staying up into the early hours of the morning, less concerned with himself than those around him. If he’s ever struggling with anything at all, he will do absolutely everything in his power to keep anyone from knowing about it, much less something as personal as this.
In the early months of the year, especially as Lantern Rite nears, Tighnari becomes withdrawn. Quieter, more distant. The Forest Watchers have been talking for forever back and forth swapping theories and rumors in not so hushed tones.
“I heard Master Tighnari lost a family member around this time of year.”
“Really? I heard he just reeeeally hates any kind of festivities especially Lantern Rite because it's so noisy, even when not in Liyue.”
“I dunno, maybe he's just sensitive to the cold?”
Unlike the usual case where he was quick to nip such chatter in the bud and tell off the Rangers for gossiping, he remains entirely silent on the issue, otherwise carrying on as usual. Setting up excursions, documenting his findings, helping and guiding wherever he was needed…
Until he just can't stand it anymore. With hardly a word, save perhaps to Collei to ask her to care for things in his absence, he retreats, hiding himself away in his hut, barricading himself in completely so no nosy Rangers have any reason to loiter around.
He hates it.
He understands it's natural and it's going to happen and blah blah blah, but it was such a nuisance to his life he would give anything to not have to put up with it. The worst of it usually lasts a week or two before he can at least carry some semblance of normalcy and feel willing and able to return to work, but while he's in it, it drives him insane.
Some years it's so bad that he can't even focus on anything other than the absolutely filthy thoughts that plague his mind, his hands shaking so hard he can't even hold a pen long enough to attempt any sort of work. Even like this he just doesn't feel right not being productive especially when he's always running around here and there the rest of the year, why should this be any different?
Head slamming into his desk with a groan, a flush curling up his cheeks and neck. Eventually he has to crack, begrudgingly caring for the needs that grow and grow and grow and become nigh insatiable during his rut.
It starts out almost clinical, looking to just take care of a symptom of an illness almost. Face flushed, lips curled into a deep frown, he sits at his desk, fisting his cock with precision, hoping to get it over with as fast as possible by hitting everything just right.
But no. After dealing with this for years you think he would have known by now that just once isn't enough, yet he still hopes year after year. It only gets worse. Over and over and over again until he's just sore and it hurts. Until he can't keep jerking it lest he make his own skin turn raw. By this point he usually finds himself in his bed, ears flat and face buried into some blankets to muffle the pathetic whimpers that left his lips as he kept grinding his hips into the pillows over and over and over and over, chasing even the slightest modicum of relief.
And most of the time, as annoying as it is, it was completely fine for him to just be stuck imagining some faceless, nameless mate beneath him as he struggled to sate these urges. However, if Tighnari has a bit of a crush… Well, he'd be in for a rude awakening if he hadn't already acknowledged his feelings for you.
I could see poor Tighnari getting almost ill as he realized the cute moans he was imagining sounded a little too much like your voice. Everything freezes for a moment, his stomach lurching both from the realization and the sudden loss of friction when he faltered. He tries so hard to brush it aside, chastising himself for pulling you into his filthy mind right then. But it doesn't stop. Your face, your voice, your skin. Everything. Everything stays in his mind and he cannot stop it. He feels such overwhelming shame about it, but… he does eventually give in and just let whatever fantasies take root, especially since it seems to ease the feelings when he does.
But when he sees you after the worst of it is over and he leaves his hut, guilt grips around his heart and memories of those fantasies rush into his head, leaving him turning on his heel to avoid you at all costs, honestly risking you thinking he hates you with how intensely he's ignoring you.
It's even worse because Tighnari considers hiding in his hut again for even longer as usually he was fine when the worst of it passed, he could resume his duties, but with you around, he could feel his hands shaking, the intense urge to find you wherever you were and pin you down immediately was so strong it scared him a little. Sometimes it caught him off guard too, like he would catch your scent on the breeze and while in his rut, he would genuinely get so horny so fast he's gotten lightheaded, having to catch himself on whatever was nearby so he didn't go crashing down.
If he hated his rut before, the shame of all this made him absolutely loathe it.
Maybe one day you can find a way to make it a liiiiittle more bearable for him ♡
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kply-industries · 2 years
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everyone's favorite menace to society
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jijimachu · 3 months
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Bring your son to work day
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gojo-mochi · 11 months
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A/N: yeah I wrote half of this when I went to see a live show… (shoutout to gho/st file/s!) Non edited/proofread bleh it just my rambling anyways
MDNI
Getting fucked dumb by a bigger man. In mass, size, and length. By the time their cock enters you, you’re already halfway to being a drooling and mindless mess. He needed to prep you thoroughly before you could take his cock, he didn’t want to hurt you after all.
“Oh? What’s that? You think you can take me with no prep?”
“Oh, little one, maybe we can try that tomorrow. For now, just lay back against me and let me stretch you out on my fingers.”
 “Yes, I know they’re so big, aren’t they? Bet you never reached this deep in your own before.” “Bet those boys before couldn’t even dream of reaching this deep with their dicks, huh? I’ll show you what a real man is made of soon enough, darling.. “
You find purchase by holding on to his biceps while he fingers you, your arousal coating his palm while he smacks it against your puffy clit. The wet squelching noises made you try to cover your face and ears in embarrassment. But he couldn’t have that, oh no, no…
His free hand will pinch in your cheeks if you try to hide any of those sweet noises he loves. Scolding you gently for being embarrassed as his fingers plunged in faster and faster. If you still feel like fighting and escaping his hold on you. He’ll take it a step deeper, shoving two fingers in your mouth, pressing down on your tongue. He doesn’t care if you drool or even try to bite down on him. As long as you keep on making those cute and sweet whimpers and moans unhindered.
You scratch and claw at his biceps as he flexes under your hands. Your pitiful attempts at damaging him barely did a dent to his muscular form. His mouth next to your ear, hot, heavy, laced with desire and need. Your pussy pulling in his fingers, sucking them in so sloppily.
“Fuck, maybe this slutty pussy can take me already. Look at how she’s crying out for me.”
Once he pulls one, two, maybe even three orgasms from just his fingers, your body quivering and twitching, only held down by his big encompassing arm around your waist. Depending on the mood he would pull out a small vibrartor bullet pressing down on your abused swollen clit, ignoring your cries to stop and attempts to push his hands away. His free hand trapping your wrists together, forcing your thighs to go over his own thick ones, spreading you out fully for his assault. Letting the vibrartor roam around your lips, just teasing you for a bit, he loves watching you twitch and struggle, licking the tears from your cheeks as he prods the bullet against your clit until the bed sheet underneath gets completely soaked. 
If he doesn't care for toys or is feeling a bit hungry that day, he would kneel down on the bed but keep his back straight, his height still towering over you even in this position as he flips you upside down. Throwing your legs over his broad shoulders as he delves down for his feast. HIs fat tongue lapping at your juices like a starved dog, his arm squeezing at your soft chest and waist, sometimes yanking you back up to crash into his mouth when you slip a bit. Sucking and rolling his tongue and mouth over your sensitive little nub unless your cries become voiceless and your head gets dizzy from the position. 
Then when you’re finally in that dumb state, nothing but incoherent babbles spilling from your lips, your body too exhausted to fight back. Turned into nothing but a toy for him to ram his cock into, He’ll pick you up once more, bringing your legs together and locking them in under one bicep. The other arm around your neck, not choking but pushing your head back so he can whisper filth in your ear as he lowers you down on his length. Your pussy so weak and wet, still struggles to fit him in all fully. Whines still come out when he’s halfway in, your breath gets hitch in your throat when he fully bottoms out. When he starts rutting into you, his balls slapping against your ass heavily with each bounce, he’ll press a hand down on the bulge protruding in your stomach. 
“Full enough yet, love?”
“Pussy still so fucking tight, gotta train her better.”
“Oh, little one, you’re nothing but a toy for me to fuck, aren’t cha?”
“So pliant, you’ll let me do whatever I want to you, right? Cause you love this cock so much..” 
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dovewingkinnie · 11 months
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character from a game gets a crush on a guy who plays her game from time to time after work
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that-butch-archivist · 4 months
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I'm not sure if this will take off but I'd love to be indulged. I just read through an old reddit thread where butches talked about what colognes they wore and liked, and got to thinking that it'd be fun to do the same.
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greensagephase · 13 days
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reader is better than me cause if i saw this man…? if i was roommates with THIS man?? i think i would genuinely crash out everyday trying not to jump on him. LOOOOOOOKKKKKK. 😫😫😫
art by andalusia_lu on instagram!!
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@zoopzaper !!! Pookie, I'm so happy to see you're more active around here!! 🥹
Omg, I'm looking respectfully, I swear!! 👀 The happy trail- the sweat - the face expression - Dios mio... I'm okay (not, currently clawing at the walls)!!😳
It's funny you say this about reader because later on in the fic, dulzura is going to - [gunshots]. Miguel is going to be working out shirtless and -[gunshots]. The hallway suddenly feels too narrow and his scent is - [gunshots]...
I'm telling you now, I have plans that I cannot share with you right now because the haters will sabotage me, but I got some stuff in the works! 😌
Thank you for the ask, pookie!! I hope you're having a lovely weekend!!!
Alondra❤️
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shiftythrifting · 3 months
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More thrift store and garage sale finds! Didn't get any of these but I needed to document them for posterity.
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