#specifically online like not irl at all
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[image id:
several screenshots of asks sent by the original anonymous asker. they read,
screenshot 1: so eventually they may go 'okay, maybe i should leave'--because, you know, if you're told that all your existence does is /hurt the person you're around/, you'd rather not do that anymore. and the response is 'see! i knew you'd leave! all you do is isolate trans women! so much for love every trans woman before it's too late!' ect ect ect. 2/5
screenshot 2: i GET why trans femmes/women may feel that way but it feels like certain discourse spaces only hype up that paranoia and catastrophizing. i think it results in a lot of trans women expecting-- and even 'testing' their afab friends thinking that innevitably they'll be the transmisogynists the internet said they'd be. waiting on baited breathe for when they'll be ganged up on. it's like the 'you see more red cars when you expect them' or whatever thing. 3/5
screenshot 3: of course, trans women are targeted in a LOT of ways in their own friend groups-- and like, obviously trans women have been horribly targeted elsewhere. and this isn't to dismiss those feelings-- but like... i feel like looking at your friend group and expecting them to attack you like wolves... isn't a healthy way to live. 4/5
screenshot 4: it becomes a very 'damned if you do damned if you don't' moment for everyone else that, from personal experience (with said person STILL convinced i am GOING to personally attack her at ANY moment when i've never indicated such and if anything just want her to leave me tf alone), ends up being an emotional hostage situation created because sometimes the internet convinces you it's better to act like caricature of your real self because vulnerability and honesty is the enemy. 5/5
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(long ask there's gonna be a lot of parts-- if u get these please put them 2gether)i think specifically the thing w some transfemmes and paranoia around 'tmes' (usually trans men and afab nonbinary people lets be real) is it's like a really fucked up game of chicken. They (used collectively, like as in, the group) psyche themselves up for how they'll 'inevitably' get transmisogyny and hurt by their 'afab friends'-- no matter how much said friends may reassure them. 1/5
Yeah, that kind of thinking doesn't help anyone. It just perpetuates a constant culture of being afraid to say anything at all or approach anyone. It should be obvious that's exactly what we need less of.
#its quite sad#i was talking abt this w a friend#abt how#specifically online like not irl at all#theres this very obvious like#echo chamber#that coalesce together bc they feel safe together#bc here they found each other#this one space. this one singular space where they will not be hurt by transmisogyny#i really am like. sympathetic. to a point#it reminds me of truscum spaces on tumblr. when i was a cringe transtrender teen#you get hurt so you stop going into the places where youre getting hurt. you go somewhere you cant be hurt and you find other people who ha#e also been hurt. you lick each others wounds. you talk about that hurt. that real hurt that real blood those real wounds#this is how trauma becomes hate#this is how radfeminism begins. for cis women too.#bc then those shared experiences turn from 'transmisogyny is a system of oppression and it is everywhere even in queer spaces that should b#safe for us' into 'other trans people are inherently transmisogynistic and only other transfems are TRULY trans like i am. only people who#re like me are safe.'#which is fucking dangerous#like. i dont know how the fuck there are people explicitly calling themselves baeddels when that group perfectly exemplified how this consp#racy thinking ends in. more trauma. more pain. more hate.#same thing w truscum like i mentioned before. or like how aphobic exclusionists often end up becoming TERFs.#this is why the queer community is in such goddamn tatters . online at least . bc people are traumatized and taking that out on other queer#for whatever fucking reason they come up with#maybe im wrong. maybe this is pedantic or patronizing or just flat out incorrect idk#ive had some. good conversations with people. about these online spaces#and theyre all so fucking similar#i dont want to become like that. so im trying very hard to have sympathy and compassion when i see it happen
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do you ever think about how all you used to draw when you were 10 was ponies and that you should still know how to do that, then get an idea and proceed to draw something like these in nearly one sitting and it turns out better than any drawing you've done in the entire past month
sooo anyway does anyone have cutie mark or pony name ideas for them?? lol
#(the b girl lineups are older than a month because i procrastinated a lot on doing minor fixes. nothing i drew in the month of june 2024#is really worth showing it's all shitty doodles lmao)#bnha#class 1b#mlp#?#yui kodai#setsuna tokage#itsuka kendo#ibara shiozaki#(i love how she came out in particular! creature :3)#reiko yanagi#tikto's art#you may be wondering why pony of all people isn't here.#i did draw her! but i kind of ran out of steam so i ended up not really liking the result lol same for kinoko#anyway shoutout to elementary school me i was SO obsessed with mlp. brony stuff was one of the first things i used the internet for#and you know what. i wouldn't say it ruined me it was a pleasant experience#i just read what was basically a polish version of equestria daily and constantly checked the deviantart profile of one (1) specific artist#that i liked a lot#i did watch some weird speedpaints (yknow the horror ones) but i honestly dont remember being very bothered by them i just liked the art#i was just chilling there lurking and never actively participating due to being 10 and afraid of online strangers (good for me tbh)#i remember having an identity crisis though because can i really call myself a brony if i'm a little girl? the target audience of the show?#lmao anyway i would also draw ponies constantly and write oc fanfics (and the ocs were actually my irl friends ponified)#and i even had my own little g5 concept. good times good times#tag story time over god bless enjoy your day
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hm. my phrasing wasnt the best in answering this ngl but i hope yall get what i mean, i'll try to clarify regardless tho
regardless of if he's actually straight or not, its. very odd to me that red repeatedly... well for a lack of better term Queerbaits his audience (aka his "btw im bi... well half of it anyway... the straight half that is" schtick)
if he does have internalized homophobia then that sucks. if hes just a straight man that really really doesnt wanna be seen as gay but still keeps saying hes bi for some reason before deconfirming it then it sucks for a different reason
and the thing that really gets me is that most of the time whenever he pulls this kinda thing is its entirely unprompted, he just brings it up all on his own
and the thing is i think its okay to be uncomfortable with being shipped esp since swagdoons is almost unavoidable on lstwt but the way he goes about it expressing that sentiment is very strange to me like. idk what his sexuality is (and tbh i dont care to know, we're not friends and i dont need his personal info) but regardless i think whatever is going on here is something that he needs to work on on his own
#mine.ask#minidoons#red#in case it isnt obvious im being cautious here lol#cause unlike ableism i havent really encountered a lot of. whatever is going on with red irl#i mean like online sure ive seen it a ton#but the reason ableism specifically affects me so much is cause i gotta deal with it all day everyday everywhere i go#and i dont want to come across as someone who wants red to out himself if he truly is queer#esp since he doesnt really. direct it to anyone directly nor does he say it out loud to anyone but his audience#but a lot of his jokes are very. odd. yknow?#like. idk wtf goes through his head whenever he makes them but it can get uncomfortable at times
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Hello! I was wondering if you’d be willing to take commissions someday 👀. No pressure tho! I just love your art so much
The short answer: "not at the moment, but it is very possible in the future'!
The slightly longer answer: I would have to figure out a good pricing and payment system! PD-MDZS is also where most of my free time goes, so until my life settles down a bit, I would be on the slow side to complete them.
#Ask#Even longer answer: I technically do - but it's been people I know irl asking and handing me physical money/bank transfers.#I'm working on one right now but the tricky part with pricing is that they want the physical copy of it - which is different to online comm#Fun fact: I have gotten a fair amount of commissions from a local hobbiest quilting club.#They show me their pintrest inspiration board and tell me size specifications and I draw out patterns on parchment paper.#I am probably being undervalued by a group of 50-60 year old women but they call me handsome and say I'm doing a good job so...#There was also someone a while back who asked about a tattoo design and I was *so* enthusiastic but I just got too busy to commit.#I truly do appreciate people asking - It is *extremely* flattering that you like my art enough to want to commission something!#I will re-examine my situation in a few months! Someday really is the keyword here; I think I'd have a lot of fun with it!#(All the money would go back into buying more artbooks and supplies too! What a dream!)#Through this blog I've gotten to know a few people who do commissions for a living who I will probably pester for pricing advice#Time really is the only barrier for me right now B*(
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you are complaining about complaining too much while complaining about the fact that maybe people dont like you because you complain too much while complaining about being alone. just stop complaining and do something about it. talk to people. reach out. dont just wait for someone to come to you first.
i have tried reaching out to different people in the past year or so but it never works. i understand its my own fault for letting relationships decay because of my own insecurities and issues but that doesn't mean i can just will myself to think or believe different things about myself. it's a self fulfilling prophecy ; i think people don't like me so i don't reach out so people don't like me etc . i am sure you do not want to hear me list all the things i want to say in response so i will put them in the tags.
#every time i try to reach out or talk to someone it goes nowhere. i dont have any social skills anymore and have no clue how to keep a#conversation going. half the time even when i do people stop replying to me. which is fine theydont owe me a reply but still feels likeshit#when i tried to make one new irl friend it just didn't work because they have better options for friends. we spoke occasionally but never#messaged online like ever and would only talk when we happened to be in the same place. i tried multiple times to organize a time to hangou#none of which came to pass. i dont understand why this one didn't work because i thought this person was interested in being my friend but#i guess i was wrong or thought they were more interested than they really were.#i have a problem with reaching out anyway which has been a problem i have had since i was like 11. reaching out to people first doesnt come#easily to me - in the beginning when i was a lot younger i didn't want to bother people with my presence & thought if i were to come to#someone first they would feel pressured into talking to me when they didn't want to. this is stupid of course. but has still not left me as#something i feel is very core to the way i act today. waiting for someone to come to me first feels like my only option because i do not#know how to reach out effectively (my evidence being i have failed every time i have tried) & i am convinced people dont like me in the#first place and do not want me to approach them.#i dont really even know who to reach out to in the first place. my world is extremely narrow. the number of people i know has shrunk#significantly and my standing in their eyes collectively has also shrunk significantly in the past few years. i feel like every person i#was once friends with wants nothing to do with me. i feel as if i have burned every bridge possible.#when it comes to the fact i complain all the time . which i know of course is annoying. its because i cant find any kind of joy in anything#i do or see or whatever. nothing makes me happy - i only see things to complain about. all stimulus seems grating and the world seems#specifically catered to make me miserable. all i can really do is complain. i treat this blog like a stream of consciousness and when most#of that consciousness is occupied with how much i hate being alive the blog will mostly be complaining. its a vicious cycle lol .#anyway . i guess the key theme is low self esteem begets low self esteem in many ways. mental illness begets mental illness.#i am not really saying this to anyone least of all to you anon. i just felt compelled to recount i guess for myself the reasons that came#to mind for why i am like this. i am talking to myself here
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i’m not a transandrophobia truther in the slightest don’t get me wrong, but i think some people on here really need to realize and comprehend the fact that cis women, way WAY more often than not, hold extremely significant social and political power over trans men the vast majority of the time in our day to day lives
#sorry not to get on this bullshit i just saw a related post when i opened this app lmao#and by some people i don’t mean anyone in particular im not vagueing anyone or any specific post#and i especially don’t mean any transfem calling out transmisogynistic transmascs either#but yeah i see a lot of implication that trans men are like. somehow significantly privileged over cis women#and ofc i don’t mean that transmascs are incapable of being misogynistic to cis women bc that’s far from the case#but i need someone to name a transmasc with significant political or social or financial power that’s working to set back women’s rights#versus the amount of cis women with any of the aforementioned privileges working to take away the rights of trans people#bc i can think of 4 of the latter just off the top of my head without trying really hard#and the only day to day instance i can think of where trans men would hold significant power over a cis woman is like..#a workplace environment where he completely passes as cis and absolutely no one knows he’s trans at all or even suspects it#but then again most if not all of that privilege would be stripped away the second anyone there found out he was trans#but yeah i really do think some people need to grapple with how they conceptualize gendered privilege and their own power in these dynamics#and how that’s reflected in the way they think about/interact with transmascs#are you disgusted with this random transmasc on tumblr because he’s a man (or vaguely adjacent) or because he’s trans. ykwim#and again i hate the whole transandrophobia thing i think it’s stupid as shit and redundant to put it lightly and briefly but#idk why transmascs that believe in it have become the new face of anti-feminism and MRA movements#and not like. the cis men who started both of those things and contribute to the vast majority of that type of rhetoric in every way#and also hold enough power to leverage those beliefs over both women and also transmascs tbh#i think some people are just repulsed by the idea of anyone willingly wanting to be a man bc they see it as the same as becoming a cis man#in terms of privilege. when in reality by being trans you’re knocked down in terms of power and privilege from all cis people anyways#but also. some people also need to realize that transmascs can also have trauma and complicated feelings about being a man and patriarchy#and more often than not we ARE traumatized by the way cis men (and women!!) have treated us#and grapple with our place in the world as a result. it’s not just as simple as becoming a cis man over night tbh!!#and again i’m not talking about transfems with any of this because the vast Vast majority of transfems understand this more than anyone#i’m mostly talking about cis women both irl and also just in the terminally online leftist sphere#and i also think i should be allowed to vent my grievances with the power cis women often do wield over me without being accused of being a#raging misogynist or MRA or whatever
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bleh
#blabbering#rambling/whining/complaining/venting ahead:#I think the horrors have finally caught up to me and the depresso is starting to take hold#i don't usually experience this until winter but I think the sudden drop of activity and people going on hiatus and such -#has triggered this early for me#basically I can't be left alone with my thoughts for too long or i start spiraling REALLY badly.#i don't really handle change very well haha...#i have the notorious curse of second guessing anything and everything and putting it on repeat in my head and then amplifying it#which sucks bc I don't have any more escapisms that work now bc this was already my escapism and I have no human connections irl#(I'm not kidding either. I've failed time and time again to make friends irl and was always the proactive one about it. But alas... ugh)#my only source for connections is online bc i struggle to make friends (especially at my age and how my energy keeps depleting and depletin#might lowkey be sharkweek but usually I just get more agitated and not this (this is very specific to the winter horrors™ for me)#i guess I may as well check out the spears while they're around still (tho in between me making dinner). I'm just feeling super bummed out#and not excited like I was the other day about it (ofc I blame the depresso™).#I don't even know what to do for my beta characters. Head empty. Head gone. sigh.#also it sucks bc next week is gonna kick my ass at work (canada day/july 4th/july in general/5 DAYS and long shifts in there too)#i'm going to be so tired and so alone and with nothing to look forward to. Idk what to do bc none of my usual distractions are effective no#No escape. No seretonin. No company. Nothin'. I notice I when i start getting bad like this when I fall back hard into pokemon#(because it was my childhood escapism and I was a neglected only child who was left alone a lot; hence the connection lol)#i'll probably just have to suffer through it and be an absolute wreck of a person i think. I don't really have any other options#watch me get sick again bc canada sucks to work bc everyone has it off and they ALL GO TO THE STORE I WORK AT AND IT SUCKS.#gonna try to draw more too but the depresso is eating my brain worms (the healthy brain worms)
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I know this is kind of random and off topic for me, but after a few years of actually paying attention to the way people behave online and treat each other, or treat specific topics/concepts, and comparing it to real life behavior and reacting/dealing with situations, it really shows me how desperate some people really need to step away from the computer and just interact with the world or talk to people their age who isn't chronically online to realize how narrow their own way of thinking is & believe in very specific mindsets that no normal person ever thinks about or acts on.
Like, I know this really sounds like a repeat of many posts of people going like "No one online behaves like this in real life, actually go to these places and talk to these people," but I'm so serious. It genuinely feels like I'm constantly reading posts about the most insane behavior or a one track mind how to perceive and view people/media.
I actually can't believe there are people fighting over dumb stuff that doesn't even matter in the grand scheme of things, and people are willing to go as far to go to extremes like call outs, targeting people, cutting people off, or get very petty over others opinions.
And as someone who has witnessed and been involved in situations where I had to mediate and moderate behavior like this from both adults and teens, I'm sitting here thinking "You cannot be fucking serious right now." And no one knows how to be mature and actually communicate like an actual person, and it makes me wonder how they're surviving the real world like this.
My guy, the world and most of its people is so heavily lathered in nuance, you can't just chalk up everything as black and white and jump to the extreme every time something or someone slightly annoys you.
#Galleon talks#idk man its just one of those days#After years of dealing with personal life drama#and just witnessing dumb shit online#you start realizing just how utterly crazy people behave for simple things#“You like this show? Then your problematic”#“Don't like this ship? We cannot be friends”#“I blocked this guy over *simple issue taken to the extreme*; have you tried communicating at all?”#You will learn to realize half the battles you are having online are so exclusive to very specific online environments#you will have extreme culture shock when you learn most irl people will not give a shit or look at you weird for acting like you do online#And I mainly mean those who take the online world extremely seriously
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which is gayer? SIX or Adamandi (real)
adamandi
#like. gotta break it to you. one of these musicals is canonically lgbtq and it's not the one where women sing about their dead husband yknow#like. idk what to say! but <shrugs>#ask me stuff???#must say the fandoms are really quite different. i'm quite fascinated by the dynamics tbh#also i realise a lot of the queendom(? forgot that was the name for a hot sec) go mad about women in shiny pretty costumes slaying#but also hmmmm adamandi is very much gender for me.( for all the characters. but specifically vincent and beatrix)#and the thing about queerness is it literally gets woven into the narrative. and it's Obvious.#smth about canonical lgbt+ rly is just. it hits. the representation is real? as opposed to fandom interpretations only#(and like... i love fandom interpretations and when people can see a new side to the character that they feel seen in!!!)#(but having it be in the original content is just... yeah... you do feel kinda especially seen)#watching adamandi was a bit like first watching firebringer for me? like except for sexuality it was gender o.O#firebringer was the first musical i saw with a canon wlw couple. and like i'd known that girls could like girls for a while but#there was the small italicised oh moment where i was like ''this is actually real'' <it's maybe worth noting i wasn't very active on soc me#about consuming things other than content. so i wasn't very exposed to the community at large. so representation in media mattered!!>#similarly it's been a while since then and both online and irl i've found people who are more open about it and accepting. i've been very#very lucky in that sense. to have specific irl friendgroups where we're all out to each other <based on sentiment? i think most of us#including me. aren't openly out irl> ... and online i'm really glad to have friends who Get It and are similar to me. but the representatio#... !!! omg hsnfjkfgdsdsghf yknow?? the representation in adamandi really got me. the pronouns thing especially.#and because the core source material is Like That.. existing fandom is all accepting already. so bonus points i guess#sorry i have turned this silly little question into a reflection prompt.. but. thoughts.#[wow. on further retrospection i've never outed myself at all online either people just saw the ship art and Inferred and]#[to be fair they were Not Wrong. idk. tumblr avvy is very vastly different from irl me but neither of us feel comfortable stating it so-]#[also worthy mention of the musicals fandom that exposed me to the whole concept of lgbtq+ being a Thing at the ripe young age of 14]#[what a way to discover it. really. i say this with extreme fondness. conversely i have friends who decided through genshin or anime so idk#<i'm aware of the diverse casting thing for six!! i think it's very cool!! i also realise the show plot doesn't really have much to do w it
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computer, how to make irl friends
how to make irl friends that actually make me happy
computer
computer, how to make my irl friends pay attention to me
#specifically putting irl friends because I love literally all my online friends#<333#im not happy in my irl friend group#we don’t hang out as often and#I just don’t feel like my personality matches much w them#I’m constantly masking like I would in public and not with friends#I don’t wanna have to mask with friends#vent#springshit
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I made a friend today! A polyphemus moth
#gonna send these same pictures to an irl who is at least AWARE of tumblr so here's to him not finding my tumblr lmao#ok to rb though!!!!!#i just don't need him to know how much of my brain space is taken up by the pokemon anime and also warrior cats right now specifically#i mean to be fair he's known me since 2013ish so like he KNOWS i'm like this but not the fic writer of it all kfhsjkdghkfd#and we're gonna keep it that way <3#eh he's cool though. my other irls do NOT get tumblr internet culture cringe is dead stuff at all#fanfic is SOOOOOOO normal here. irl it is. uh. not. they do not get it#i'll even quote memes at them and get blank stares#like damn okay i am the chronically online bitch. i get it ksdfhskghfdk#taylor's tag#tw bug#tw bugs#insect#insects
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read the scratch upd8. little too close to home
#tw vent#in tags at least#when i was reading hs like 3 ish years ago i related a lot to vriska and terezi cause i was in what i think was a really destructive#friendship qpp thing with my best friend online and a boy who liked both of us but mostly her.i was incredibly isolated irl as was my friend#and all my other online friends. i really should have seen that something bad could happen but i didnt and i got into a really deep#depression for like 3 months after but. my dearest friend girl decided to start befriending a 30 yo man and i. like an idiot. followed her#like a lovesick puppy even though all the warning bells were going off. we were in a gc with him that we texted in at all times of the day &#night and we shared selfies and dreams and our daily problems with isolation or hw or whatever. he got more and more creepy and my dearest#friend lashed out at him because she was scared while i sort of stopped talking as much because i was scared but. he still talked to me lots#in dms. he talked shit about the authority figures in our lives and isolated us from our ither online friends he made creepy picrews of me &#my friend getting married and he talked about moving in with us one day. we blocked him but sometimes he still tries to contact me. after it#blew up my friend left me and discord which is probably best and after my depression time i eventually got an irl friend or two but. i never#got over it. he did it to other people too we found out later. he always complimented me on being so sharp and talented and it was nice caus#it was really my first compliment from an adult who wasnt my family and. ig it got to my 14 yo head. anyways. the update made me cry. i had#read that it was bad and knew it would be bad for me specifically cause doc scratch always reminds me of that time in my life but. i didnt#think it would be that bad. i dont blame hs2 creators or anyone else and ig im glad i braved the storm but it was really painful to read#gonna go watch a more light hearted thing now.#if anyone sees this dw ill get over it#anyways. believe the warnings this update is very triggering and you can skip it if you want#glad i have like 5 followers rip
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act annoying on this post and ill block you ♡
everyone accusing black sails fans of Being Rude In The Notes owes me $10 for making me look in the notes (like. What. WHERE) and $10 more for subsequently making me witness the Stede fans also being unhinged petty assholes but it doesnt count when they do it, i guess?
at this point im saltier about Black Sails fans being repeatedly being called assholes but ofmd fans Not being called out for probably the same behavior or worse? and with what feels like very little. evidence? god damn
#toy txt post#pirate poll#if you reply to this post you are in danger of being blocked and ignored#note: after having looked in the notes at what yall are calling mean and cunty amd asshole behavior from flint stans#i would like to add a disclaimer that none of you literally owe me $10 its a silly fucking thing im saying online that means nothing#lest ppl decide to add exortion to the list of crimes we're accusing flint stans of out of ? little to no basis#ftr im a flint voter but i also like stede and ofmd bc im starved for gay pirate shows. these shows are holding hands. these#shows are having a conversation and all of your being dumb in the notes about either one of them owe me and the#poll runner $10 each. again. not a literal statement unless u like. really want to i guess? lmao#i have issue w all yall. those of u voting flint cos stede took a pardon and irl stede bonnet was a slaveowner#are voting for the correct choice for entirely wrong reasons#its not irl stede on the vote its ofmd stede. flint has said his crew has sold more slaves than theyve freed#and the pardon........ill get into that tomorrow#the ppl hating stede for abandoning mary are hilarious to me sorry. he abandoned her and then she was like. finally thriving#the ppl hating flint for being edgy.....specifically that person admitting they didnt even watch past the first episode...#im glad u are not in the fandom i dont think we'd get along lol#u think flints bad for being edgy........whew#to the person who hasnt seen either show but voted flint bc he seemed more chill: you are the funniest person on this earth and i love you#that man is the least chill a man has ever been#and only finally seems chill by comparison when its Silver's turn to go off the rails and then its like not even for very long#hes the least chill there is and hes valid#anyway. one fear: thousands of salty ofmd fans hatevoting flint into oblivion into the next round#if you do that or are planning to do that. i hate you and you are extremely annoying#god he really is vriska. god forbid gay pirate women do anything 🙄#they h8te to see a 8ad 8itch winning
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By the way, what character assassination were you talking about in the notes of my poll? I'm really curious
Was kind of talking around it there a bit intentionally but he really did dirty my boy Scrappy Doo : (
(Gunn wrote the live action scooby doo movies)
#leave him be hes a mildly annoying cartoon 10 year old like plsss#ppl associate his introduction w other bad decisions at the time made by writers and ppl in production. also his writing was bad and#overrelied on catchphrases and repeated actions hes actually good when hes in better written stuff#like jfc hes actually a really fun and interesting character concept just with not great execution in most of his stuff#like the sheer vitriol directed at him online and irl is insane. like the fact that theres a literal executive ban on using him in projects#is so bs especially when there are directors and movies where they genuinely want to use him (13th ghost of sd)#like hes literally not allowed to be protrayed positively you can only make quick meta jokes abt how much he sucks or not mention him at all#like give my boy a break he doesnt deserve this#anyways this links to james gunn specifically bc of his portrayal and that movie and starting the trend of bashing him but also bc it was#literally so unnecessary that gunn did that. like he hadnt been used in over a decade at that point and brought him back as a disgusting#creature just to fulfill his childhood vendetta or whatever. and 20yrs later he still cant be used bc of it#also a note to everyone: its late and i have to wake up in three hours to do shit so if anyone decides to start shit on my blog im gonna#block you. im tired and dont gaf i dont want to deal with 'jokes' rn no matter how funny you think they are 👍#not targeted at any one in particular just a general warning
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i've tried for years to google autism social and support groups near me for adults. not kids or their parents. I found one. but it says they meet Wednesday evenings when I work so I ignored it. today my friend who live in another country tried to help by sending me the link to it. I told her I saw it before but can't make it. she suggested I email the provided email to as if there's any other way to meet outside the designated meeting times. turns out their website seems outdated and the email isn't in service. so I sent an email to the main website email (the website is a messy collection of autism resources mainly for kids and parents) so i'll have to wait to see if they respond on this one. but i'm not hopeful. something tells me the group might not exist anymore. it's not marked on their scheduled events list and the only place they seem active is facebook, which doesn't seem to mention the group at all (at least in the ~year long amount of stuff I scrolled through)
WHY is it so hard to find anything for adults?! why is it so hard to make friends near me! everyone yells at me to join a club or group, but why are they so difficult to find and participate in!
#autistic#autism#actually autistic#adult autism#autism support#i also remember reading somewhere “Autism Society” organization is bad. this one is called “Autism Society of *city near me*”#and i cant figure out if its related or not!!! like if theyre affiliated with it or its just a similar name. they also use puzzle pieces#and generally those mean Not Good. but this is all i can find near me#(also dont suggest online groups. im looking specifically for irl groups/friends)#FRUSTRATION!!!!!!#i would just make my own group if i had the executive function to do daily necessities on my own.......#also i thing i noticed. they use he/she instead of “their” on the website so it doesnt feel very inclusive to me as a they/them nonbiny!
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I cannot relate when people talk about being unable to distinguish comorbid symptoms, at least not to the same degree. I have mine fairly parsed, including where they overlap and exacerbate each other, in part because of how aggressively I've pursued treatment while also staggering it in such a way that allowed me and my psychs to identify the separate disorders.
#this isnt anti self diagnosis either#i correctly self diagnosed before getting actually diagnosed#idk i approached my mental health treatment like a virgo enneagram one for lack of a more succinct way of saying#“aggressively and with a hyperfocus on self improvement”#sometimes i assume what im doing is average and then my mental health team reminds me that no i am Atypical#i will never forget telling my therapist i should stop saying im built different#and her replying with “normally i would agree but... well....”#also im CONSTANTLY learning new things about myself and my conditions#this isnt to imply i have everything figured out#if im ever not learning anything new about myself then im stagnating#nor is it like implying there's a right or wrong way to go about this sort of thing#it's just an observation and an admission that i often cant relate to a lot of posts and convos even about my specific diagnoses#the amount of times people with my same illnesses have attempted to neurotypical karen me or who have implied i dont really have them#is Many#like more than youd think and in both irl and online spaces#generally over innocuous things but all because they dont think im expressing my illnesses right#and the fact of the matter is ive had medical professionals tell me that while my symptoms are textbook - how i express them isnt always#it's a neutral observation but one that sometimes leaves me like a little out of my depth in more general convos about mental illnesses
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