#source: incorrect-hp

[daddiesdrarryy]

James: Okay, everything is under control, Pads. I came to your house, made sure your parents weren’t home and got your old clothes from Kreacher and Regulus

Sirius: You met Regulus?

James: I didn’t just meet him. We kissed a little

Sirius, screaming: NOOOOOOO!

James: Pads! What happened? What’s wrong?

Sirius: …you just made out with my brother

Sirius: *screaming louder*

[theheartofthestar]

Sirius, leaning on the counter: Hey beautiful, come here often?

Remus: Is this the part where I remind you we've been married for four years or do I play along?

Sirius: Play along!

Remus: Alright. Sorry, I'm not interested, I'm married

[number1abbasupporter]

Sirius: come on reggie im just trying to help you find a girlfriend

Regulus: i don’t need your help

Sirius: come on reggie!!

Regulus: i’m gay sirius!

Sirius:

Sirius: okay well we can just get you a boyfriend

Regulus: i’m not interested

Sirius: i know a few boys who would interest you

Regulus: bloody hell!

Regulus: *leans over to kiss james*

Regulus: i’m perfectly fine

Sirius:

James:

Sirius: are you fucking kidding me?!

[hxuse-xf-black]

[Deathly Hallows] Hermione: Harry- Harry, sighing despondently: Ginny used to call me Harry. Ron: Because it's your fucking name.

[fourquartertoast]

Sirius: Your man doesn't have the mental strength to caramelise onions. Regulus: Oh yeah? Well, your man... thinks it takes 5-10 minutes to caramelise onions! Sirius: :O Remus: *walking into the room* Who's fucking caramelising onions? James: *also walking into the room* Yeah, have you sociopaths forgotten that apples exist? Remus: ... Sirius: ... Peter: Do you think caramelising onions is putting caramel on an onion? Sirius: *to Regulus* Your man thinks caramelising onions is putting caramel on an onion. Regulus: *disappointed* Remus: WHO THE FUCK EATS ONIONS Peter: I eat unions. James and Sirius, simultaneously: Real.

based on this reblog thread

[hpseeker99]

Teacher: Harry James Potter! I want you to call your parents this instant! 8-year-old Harry, who has absolutely been anticipating this exact moment: *pulls out a Ouija board* This might take a minute.

[moonyswarmsweaters]

James: Remus is late, again.

Regulus: How's that possible? I called him at 8 o'clock this morning pretending it was 11.

Sirius: I printed a fake schedule saying we were starting at 9 instead of noon like we usually do.

Peter: I set his alarm clock to say PM instead of AM.

Lily: I think you guys may have overdone it.

Remus: *bursts through the door* WHAT YEAR IS IT?!

[sayssnape]

mcgonagall: harry is missing, can you find him?

snape: what, do you think i have him microchipped or something?

mcgonagall: well, do you?

snape:

snape: yeah, hang on.

[pooks]

Charlie: How about some friendly brotherly advice? Percy: I don't need your advice. Charlie: *inhales and tries to not explode* How about some unfriendly brotherly advice?! Percy: *unimpressed* Try me.

[overheard-at-hogwarts]

James: Padfoot made it very clear that my allegiance should be to male comrades before women who sell their bodies for money.

Remus: ...Is it possible he actually said, "bros before hoes"?

James: Yes, but I rephrased it to avoid offending the hoes.

[fluxweedstem]

Snape: I think you should play the role of my father.

Albus: I don’t want to be your father.

Snape: That’s perfect. You already know your lines.

[daddiesdrarryy]

James & Regulus: *kissing*

Sirius: If this Firewhisky doesn’t knock me out, Moony, just hit me with the bottle

[raphael-angele]

Most fics/hcs I see say Peter is The Nice One, The Kind One, The Empathetic One. I sometimes agree, but I would like to propose Peter being the Realistic/Unfiltered One

Common Room:

Sirius, pacing: UGHH!!! WHO TF DOES HE THINK HE IS, BOSSING ME AROUND LIKE THAT?! He thinks that just because we're boyfriends, he has total ownership of me! Can you believe that jackass?!

James: Pads, calm down, I'm sure he meant well.

Sirius: Oh. Is that how it is, Jamie? You're siding with him? You saying I'm the one in the wrong? That it's my fault?

James: That's not what I meant. Look, maybe if you just talk it out-

Peter: Sirius, this whole argument isn't the problem. You two've been away from each other since he became a prefect, plus the full moon in a few days. You two just need a good fucking.

James:

Sirius: ...what did you say?

James: Peter, shut up.

Peter: I said you two need a good fucking.

James: *squeaks*

Sirius:

Sirius: How. Dare. You. Peter Oliver Pettigrew. I am the Supreme MARAUDER!!

---10 minutes later---

Sirius, shouting from the top of his lungs in the common room: FUCK!

---

Sirius: What happens between me and Remus in private, Wormtail is None. Of Your. Business

---21 minutes later---

Sirius, shouting from the top of his lungs in the common room: FUCK!!!!

---

Sirius: Don't ever. Speak to me like that again. *walks away*

James, curled up with his head between his knees: Why did you do that?

Peter: Eh, it was funny at first but I was getting tired of it.

---The Next Day---

Great Hall, Breakfast:

Remus: Hey, guys *sits down*

Sirius: *sits beside him* Hey, guys.

James: ...hey. You guys okay now?

Remus: Uhh, yeah, think so.

Lily: Remus!

Remus: *looks over and sighs* Well, duty calls. Sorry, baby.

Sirius: ...you'll be late again tonight?

Remus: yeah *stands*

Sirius: :(

Remus: I'll cuddle with you later. Promise.

Sirius: ...okay. *smiles a bit*

Remus: Alright *kiss*

Sirius: Make sure to eat, kay?

Remus: I will. *kiss* Bye, guys. *leaves to it with other prefects*

James: You handled that pretty well.

Sirius: Yeah, well, if I brat out now, he'll make me behave all over again and as much as I'd love that, my ass still hurts. Fuck, he did a number on me last night, I can still feel him.

James:

Peter: Told ya.

[number1abbasupporter]

Lily: having trouble figuring out who knows Sirius the best huh?

James: it’s me!

Remus: it’s me!

Peter: it’s me!

Regulus:

Regulus: it’s probably not me

[hxuse-xf-black]

16-year-old Tom Riddle: Do you know anything about horcruxes? Specifically, how to create them? Slughorn: Horcruxes? What is this for? Tom Riddle: Fun.

[incorrect-malfoys]

Lucius: So, will you go on a date with me?

Narcissa: Give me some time to think about it

[Ten minutes later]

Narcissa: I’ve thought hard, and I have decided that yes I will marry you