#source: hotel Transylvania 2

[nerdasaurus1200]

Charlie: That’s my girlfriend suckers!!!

Vaggie: Your wife, Charlie.

Charlie: My WIFE! Even better!

[incorrectquotesmcu]

Y/N, drunk: [points at Natasha] That’s my girlfriend, suckers!

Natasha: Your wife, Y/N.

Y/N: My wife! Even better!

[gravityglitch-blog]

(sees Uzi do something cool, then turns to anyone who will listen)

N: Whoa-ho, you feel me now? That's my girlfriend, suckers!

Uzi: Your wife, N.

N: My wife! Even better!

[crybabycunt]

(watching Yelena demolish several enemies at once)

Kate, pointing at Yelena: That's my girlfriend, suckers!

Clint: Your wife, Kate.

Kate: My wife! Even better! That's my wife, suckers!

[rurilamb]

Lamb: *Gesturing towards Ruri* You see that? That's my girlfriend, suckers!

Ruri: Your wife, Lamb.

Lamb: My wife! Even better!

[javastark]

*Aziraphale does the halo trick thing*

Crowley: That's my boyfriend! Aziraphale: Your husband, Crowley Crowley: My husband! Even better

[sombrashe]

Valeria, drunk, pointing at you: That’s who I'm dating, suckers!

You: We're married, Valeria.

Valeria: We're married! Even better!

[im-not-a-l0ser]

Steph: Do you like Richie? Max: What?! Pfft, no! Come on, he's so weird and awkward. It's like, are you an idiot or do you know you're adorable?

[mikitheswiftie]

Lisa: Adrien said his first word

Dracula: He did🤩

Lisa: Go on honey, say it again

Baby Alucard: Bleh, Bleh-Bleh

Dracula: I don’t say Bleh, Bleh-Bleh 😤

[the-patchwork-girl-of-oz]

Uncle Henry: THATS MY GIRLFRIEND SUCKERS

Aunt Em: your wife, Henry.

Uncle Henry: MY WIFE! EVEN BETTER!

[nerdasaurus1200]

Soren: That’s my boyfriend suckers!

Corvus: Your husband, Soren.

Soren: My husband! Even better!

[incorrectquotesmcu]

Y/N, drunk: [points at Wanda] That’s my girlfriend, suckers!

Wanda: Your wife, Y/N.

Y/N: My wife! Even better!

[mlgneverdies]

Location: The skate spot with the skater gang; Jenny just showed off some mad skillz

Rex: You feel me now? That's my girlfriend, suckers!

Jenny: Your wife, Rex.

Rex: My wife! Even better.

[incorrect-sonic-the-hedgehog]

Opal: That's my girlfriend suckers!

Blaze: Your wife, Opal

Opal: My wife, even better!

[incorrect-esmp-quotes]

Shelby, drunk: [points to Katherine] That’s my girlfriend, suckers!

Katherine: Your wife, Shelby.

Shelby: My wife! Even better!

[barschter000]

(this is my main blog I am @euporie-art)

hi I am sorry 2 bother you but whenever you reblog my art you always put very nice tags on it and it makes me quite happy

I am thinking. about vampire benbaro. do you have any thoughts on them.

Hello!!!!! You're no bother at all, I'm actually very happy to hear from you again!! :D

I'm glad my silly reblog tag ramblings can make you happy! :)

I actually (and unfortunately) don't have that many thoughts on them (edit from the future: yeah sure buddy) because I don't think about Vampire AUs very often even though it's a classic and it works great with them. Generally, I absolutely agree that Albert should be the vampire because that is 100% the funnier option. Otherwise, my thoughts overlap with this post and are as follows:

Albert has a tapetum lucidum on his eyes, the thing animals with improved night vision have that makes their eyes glow when hit by light. I'm always a big fan of Albert being a little weird and freaky.

Since bats eat fruit and insects too and Albert is pretty constantly low on food (see linked post), he has eaten bugs. He regrets it sometimes but they are a good source for protein.

For funsies, I like to imagine him being able to walk up walls Hotel Transylvania-style because he is definitely the type of guy to start pacing while thinking and so he ends up on the ceiling.

I am consultung old Discord messages about this for this answer and past me said that apparently bats are colorblind (though it might not be all of them) and so Albert is too!

Absolute favorite of mine: BATS CAN PURR!! ALBERT CAN PURR!!!

Here are some more or less useful biting places: The most useful and sensible one is of course the vein in the crook of Barok's arm which isn't very romantic but practical. The jugular veins in the throat are of course a classic among vampire enthusiasts but because there is so much blood flowing through it, it would definitely require medical attention afterwards. But one can alter reality in fiction, as a treat. Also there is the femoral artery that runs through the thigh and aside from it being hard to access (especially since Barok's legs are so muscular), I think Barok would die and not only from bloodloss. Other than that, the saliva of vampire bats contains anticoagulants that prevent blood from clotting, so that's in Albert's saliva too.

Albert can communicate with the bats in Barok's office. (In my world, Barok named them all after female characters from operas because he doesn't know which bat is male or female but he noticed they were reproducing, so he just gave them female names. Perhaps Albert can clear up the mystery.)

Since Albert doesn't really have blood unless he feeds, he doesn't really have body heat but when he's fed, he is also able to blush and I think seeing your boy best friend blushing with your own blood inside his cheeks would also kill Barok.

As I mentioned in our previous benbaro thought exchange, I take Barok as having been a huge vampire nerd, so having a vampire boyfriend is like a dream come true to him. It also opens new possibilities of taking care of and protecting Albert which he likes doing because it's an easier way for him to express that he cares about him.

Also here is a meme I made because I think Albert would travel most safely in daylight as a bat and to not lose him in the busy streets of London, Barok puts him in his breastpocket.

On a final note, here is my favorite vampire!Albert fic!

Pray forgive the discourtesy of this being more ben than baro or benbaro throughts, I hope me loving to think about the logistics of non-human stuff was still entertaining. I'd love to hear your vampire benbaro thoughts!! :)