#sounds better w headphones btw

[revoltinglittleworm]

every time i start a new song its just a bunch of "what am i even doing" so here ya go

[cerberus-new-owner]

anyone else see headcannons for the om! characters and think of their own for a completely different topic like seriously i was reading headcannons about how the brothers would react to MLP (by @byte-your-tongue for those curious i would recomend looking at the post it made me laugh) and i started thinking up headcannons on how they would sleep like what??

Anywayssss here some headcannons about how i think the characters would sleep (with and without mc cause i feel like some of the would change how they sleep with someone next to them)

Part 1 - The Brothers Part 2 - The Angels + Solomon Part 3 - Diavolo + Barbatos

content thingy btw: the brothers are kind of implied to be dating mc but it can really be taken how you wish, also gn!mc, ooooo ooo oooo and a few pet names (dove, treasure, player 2, love) and a bit of fluff to

Lucifer

w/out mc- on back stiff as a board, mans becomes a plank of wood dare i say even a brick unmoving and silent no snores no sleep talk and somehow takes up his entire bed (he's probably in his demon form) also a very light sleeper he's gotta be ready for anything and everything disaterous that could happen in the middle of the night

w/ mc- buuuuuuut when mc shows up and starts sharing his bed he starts to sleep talk like when mc first showed up in the devildom he started doing it every now and then cause of stress (i sleep talk when stressed lol) but when they started sharing a bed he started sleep talking alot more the stress probably coming from him not wanting one of his brothers (mammon, levi, asmo) to A to walk into his room and fall asleep ontop of him and mc cause they want mc cuddles to or B straight up steal mc from his grasp (he protec) oooooor lucky number C take photos of the two and use them as blackmail (mams, satan and belphie), still no snoring, 20% chance he's in his demon form especially if its winter (wings can be blanket), i also think he may switch from a brick to side sleeper everynow and then for cuddles (touch starvedddddddddd), light sleeper still but like way worse now, will wake up at the sound of a pin drop (force him to wear noise cancelling headphones everynow and then so he gets sleep 'do i have to wear these silly things dove, i'd preffer to keep you safe and the house of lamantation standing than sleep')

Mammon

w/out mc- hes sprawled out (starfish), loud snoring (can be heard across the house), also loud sleep talking (he will get flustered in his sleep and talk for everyone example 'mammon that was such a dumb idea' 'no it aint it was a genius idea' 'mammooooooon, wheres my record') sleeps with his glasses on, also kicks like alot, very deep sleeper would've slept through one of beels late night rampages when the fridge was empty many times

w/ mc- still starfish no room for mc, snoring is still loud (hope mc's got ear buds or smth) sleep talks but now flirts with himself too 'oh mammon did it hurt when you fell' 'of course it did i fell for you after all', has gotten into a better habit of taking his glasses off before sleep (feel like mc got up him for wearing them to sleep) no kicking anymore or atleast not as much mc has gotten kicked off multiple times, still a very deep sleeper but he'll somewhat wake up if mc moves to check on them (its probably just tred mumbles of something like 'ya okay treasure?' or 'you're not going anywhere treasure')

Levi

w/out mc- idk what to put here like he obviously takes up like the entirety of the bathtub he sleeps in, he probably talks to ruri-chan or his online friends in his sleep and does the poses and stuff ruri-chan does also body pillows no blankets just body pillows/hj he's a pretty normal sleeper (when he does sleep) only really waking up to any loud noises

w/ mc- still dunno but he probably wraps his tail around mc when sleeping (once again he protec) probably like the exact same as w/ out mc but without the poses, still a pretty average sleeper and still talks in his sleep ('nonononononono player two you take on the minions and i'll take on super elite demon dragon fish boss')

Satan

w/out mc- lets be real when hes does sleep its either almost exactly like lucifer (when he goes to sleep willingly) or he's sprawled out with a book on his face, snores but not as loudly as mammon or beel, probably kicks if he falls asleep angry at someone (most likely lucifer) sleeps pretty deeply normally but when pissed off he's a light sleeper almost like he's preparing to explode at the slightest sound, also if he's snuck a cat into his room he's cuddling with the cat

w/ mc- cuddles in the middle of reading a book, mc was sitting in his lap and he was reading to them when they fell asleep and a few hours later still reading the book out loud for the sleeping mc he falls asleep himself, doesn't go to sleep angry as often as before but his sleeping does lighten a little to make sure unwelcome intruders dont enter his space whilst he's with mc, will not move if he's cuddling mc (if he does move and wake them up he's apologising tellng them to go back to sleep ' 'm sorry love go back to sleep')

Asmodeus

w/out mc- kitten snores tiny little baby snores, doesn't kick unles he's having a nightmare, has a night time face mask on deep sleeper and sleeps on his back just not as stiffly as luci and satan, sleep talks on occasion but its usually just him complementing himself 'oh asmodeus you look extra fabulous today' stuff like that

w/ mc- pretty much the exact same mans wants his beauty sleep

Beelzebub

w/out mc - snores louder than mams, sleeps like a brick, human heater, midnight snacks, deeeeeeeep sleeper like an a new level not as bad as belphie but still he won't wake up unless its one of his alarms or he's hungry, if he were to sleep talk it'd probably be the recipe to his faverite food 'beat two eggs, mix the eggs in with the rest of the batter bake for 15 minutes'

w/ mc- me personally i would get him a sleep apnea machine (stops the loud snores) and install several fans for summer months, he would be very clingy too, perfect for winter not so much for summer

Belphegor

w/out mc- dead he might aswell be dead does not move or make a sound pretty boring overall and cold, no sleep talking like i said he might as well be dead

w/ mc- snuggles snuggles snuggles only time he will move is to get closer to mc for snuggles still pertty cold though like if he wakes up before mc, mc better be prepared to be woken up by a pair of cold hands / feet on their back and a very bratty smile to accompany their awakening

i feel like its way to obvious who my favorite brothers are looking at this and which brothers i struggled with lol but oh well....

i may do the dateables next, i also may expand on a few of these (the ones i didn't struggle hardcore with lol)

have a good day, night, evening, breakfast, lunch, morning

having too muvh fun with the masterlist things lol

[1eoness]

Could you make a Dom!Leon x trans ftm reader NSFW fic with some fluff thrown into there?

୨˚̣̣̣͙୧ author rambling; HI i am eating pineapple rn and i never forgot this request. just to clarify and for some context, i dont have experience of writing !reader anything out of sub afab so im sorry if this is super inaccurate or inapplicable or unsatisfying and im open to criticism on this :( :) idk im so sorry aghdfhdsfhdj i really need to work on this. oh and i read some ftm smut for this so ty to those writers :> pls criticize anything off (with reason ofc). [btw i feel like this is super bad im sorry im not feeling creative rn i have writers block :((( ]

anyway 'DOM!LEON KENNEDY X TRANS FTM READER NSFW WITH SOME FLUFF THROWN IN THERE' COMING UP. i'm sorry this took so long for such short content too :(

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

cw: fluffy dom!leon kennedy, trans ftm!reader (w/ bottom surgery) [i can always redo this if you don't like me mentioning top/bottom surgery]. praise, oral (reader receiving)

synopsis : re4r leon and he loves u and ur worried little face and he's gonna kiss it better (and fuck it better, maybe).

‿︵‿︵୨˚̣̣̣͙୧ -♡- ୨˚̣̣̣͙୧‿︵‿︵

leon loves you. he knows you're constantly worried over him being troubled over his trauma but he wants you to know, between every crevice of his clouded thoughts, that he loves you and it's the surest thing he knows. it's hard to admit but even when he loses himself, it will always, and forever be clear to him that you have his heart and there's a reason why.

you were about to get under the covers to go to sleep (after a day that felt longer than it should be.). though, you lowered your headphones to the lower end of the volume once you saw leon through the bedroom doorway.

"baby, i wanna tell you something." leon said, his quiet and soft voice only going a decibel higher as he crawls to you on your bed. he hated seeing you about to sleep with such a worried look on your handsome face.

you thought he didn't notice? even if you're his neutral-faced boy, he knows when the air around you feels more somber than usual. "do you ever feel.."

"like a plastic bag?" you quipped quickly. (i'm sorry if you don't get it)

"no, damn it." leon's mutter-reply followed with a quiet chuckle that you echoed. he likes that about you, your incessant annoying humor (but you'll never beat him in that). he sighs, and tries again. "you know, like... you're kind of.. stressed over someone else's troubles?"

to be honest, he doesn't really know how to go about it. he doesn't want you to think you're burdening him—though, you could never ever make him feel like that. leon nears you, hovering above you and adoring your face wherever his mind runs. for some reason, before you guys go to sleep he just does this. he also likes talking to you before you both go to sleep ♡.

you hum, just a little bit sleepy. "what do you meann?" you ask quaintly, and leon's heart melts at the tone of your slightly languid voice. you sounded so cute. a rather random yet soft laugh escapes before he dips down to give you a small kiss on your cheek.

"...y/n, i'll just be straight—i don't want you going to bed looking so.. upset." leon mutters softly, rubbing over the skin of your cheekbone with his thumb. maybe he shouldn't have gone into detail how heavy his mission felt. because when he was done talking, you gave him some short comfort and impulsively stood up and said that you needed to wash the dishes (and the dishwasher was literally running when you said that).

at first he thought he did something wrong and upset you, and the guilt immediately seeped in. naturally, he didn't want it to go undiscussed, that would murder him! so he went to find you ASAP. but when he went to check on you in that dim kitchen, he saw you with your back turned and trying to silence your tears. apparently, you felt so bad for him it was enough to hurt you, too. you were just too sweet—leon also felt bad. he gave you some space for a bit, though he's sorry because he really wants to be there for you and he can't afford to leave you by yourself sometimes :(

you looked a little to the side from his forward words. you didn't really know what to say in response, you were just.. tired, and also worried. leon understands this, picking up on it and showing it by giving you a reassuring, subtle smile. he wants to see you smiling, too, and he knows just how to do it. it's his favorite thing about his little boy ♡.

"..come, baby." he coos quietly as he began to take a hold on either sides of your face, knowing you don't need discussion right now. maybe loving is enough. and loving you is a way of reassuring himself, you just need to accept that :( so you be good for him and let him give you the praise you deserve (and so much more).

he kisses you on the forehead first. he loves cradling your handsome little face, placing safe pecks all over it. especially on that spot a little adjacent from under your eyes. leon hums when his lips reach your jaw, peppering it with innocent love. but will it really only go that far? "because you're the most perfect boy ever." he reasons hushedly, his left hand holding the side of your neck and caressing it gently.

oh, it's going to be one of those nights where he kisses you all over and doesn't leave you alone.. but you know better than to complain.

"y're so clingy..." you decided to joke, though you both knew you loved it. while you giggled at his antics, you can feel him smiling into the skin of your neck. he's so ready to spoil you rotten.. and you had no idea:( ♡

he moves his broad hands under your shirt, handling your being with tutelage. the fuss of the sheets make hush noise as he moves downwards, worshipping your body along the way by placing kisses over your clothed stomach. "...so?" he laughs softly against the skin of your lower inner thigh, the fluttery feeling of his lips planting a kiss on it making you shudder. he sees you, and how you turn so bashful all of a sudden.

"..tickles?" leon mumbles amusedly.

"yeah-" you mutter in response before he abruptly did it again on your stomach this time, which made you giggle. you were just too precious to him!

he holds your thighs in his hands for a minute, resting his head against your left thigh. you see the muscles on his arm flex subtly while he does so, your stomach tumbling at witnessing his strength at such a mild moment. for a minute he just gazes at you fondly, a hinting coyness hiding beneath his expression.

you were making it so tough for him. he just wants to kiss you all over . hell, he might even want to merge corporealities with you.

he doesn't speak, his eyes trailing down to your pelvic area while unnoticeably smirking to himself. you were so cute to him, so what else can he do but lift your thighs over his broad shoulders?

but he looks up at you, immediately. his fingertips are teasing at the hem of your bottom clothing, insinuating what he wants to do for you as he lightly taps at your skin. "baby, may i?" he asks with a sudden comforting tone. he'll never make you do something you don't wanna do. but like said, if you accepted, there's no promise that he's going soft on you.. but that's because he just wants you to be all nice and happy! a very innocent motive ♡

"mhm.." you hummed lowly, willingly giving him your greenlight. and has leon said he loves you?

"thank you, love.." he mutters shortly in reply before pulling your pajama bottoms just a little down. down enough for him to free your pretty shaft. he sees you blushing, covering the bottom half of your face with your sleepy hands.

and this man.. was so hard to predict!

the soft hunk of a man wants to wrap his right arm around your abdomen, pull your hips up to his face. "leon!-" you gasp abruptly with that same low voice.

"shhh, baby." leon mumbled while his left hand snaked around to cage your right thigh firmly to his shoulder. his knees dip on the comforters, pulling his boy's lower body up like he was challenged to lift a feather.

you quickly brought your hands up to take your headphones off, but leon suddenly spoke when you pried the muffs off your ears.

"keep them on." he cuts your actions off. the subtle demand of his tone says you're going to keep them on. he, somehow, reaches to turn the volume up on your headphones. you were puzzled, not knowing what he was aiming to do with such-

"a-aah!-" you yelped in utter surprise. a dribble of spit threads from his pretty lips and down onto your length..

he's hunched over as he takes your tip, then more in his mouth. he glances at your dumbfounded eyes, and you swear you could see him smirking to himself. but before you could think further, he was suddenly suckling onto your cock so firmly you started to squirm.

but that's why leon's holding you so tightly, so you can take it the way he needs you to~

you felt restricted. leon wants to steal your senses, inject pleasure in your veins like he were trying to fucking save you. he's beginning to get so hard that it makes him whine against your shaft, and he's so hard that you're making it difficult for him to think rationally.

"l-leonn! slow down!~" you cried without sense, which only urged his fingers pressing into your skin as he held you in place. he takes an inch further, his mouth working eagerly, making sure you can understand his carnal urge of making you cum with his mouth. "uh-uhh!-.... nghhh-hh..."

"mhmm..mmmm..." he hummed roughly, following with a soft growl as he slurped you up stupid. you kept moving. why were you moving so much? you were so sleepy just a minute ago.. oh, well; leon thinks. but is this man really oblivious to the fact that he can make you feel so, so good?

of course he wasn't. your erotic whines got louder and louder by the minute as your headphones disabled you from being conscious of your tone at all. your voice fell muffled upon your ears but leon was devouring it, using your moans and sobs as a motive to eat you up until you're heart-eyed. you couldn't even make sense of the music anymore as leon's mouth clouded your empty mind.

i'm gonna drown you in pleasure, baby.. leon thinks to himself while he's busy adoring you and the way your cock twitches onto his tongue :(

you were flailing slightly while leon went down on you, seeing you and your eyes struggling to keep open. he trails his left hand up and down your thigh, the sensation feeling a little ticklish. your chest rose and fell warmly, trying to reach out to stop him with a weak hand but he wouldn't let you and he feels (mildly) sorry. but it doesn't make him halt— he looks at you with sweet eyes that say 'please cum for me~'

you whined weakly at this, voice going raspy as you full on started to cry. you felt so vulnerable and so good at the same time and you trusted leon so much. you could feel it, could feel him about to siphon your orgasm out of you. just the way he wanted it..

the faucet began to spill and you were crying, the tears trickling down your cheeks messily and around your headphones, too. leon looked at you with mostly with affection, but also with a bit of sympathy. you must've had such a hard time, huh? he's so happy he can make you feel better..

"u-uhh, f-fuck, leon!! n-nno- nggh..a-ahh!-" you didn't even know what you were blabbering or retorting for anymore, but your hips twitched in his grip as you began to tremble within the fuzzy feeling of your orgasm. you were being such a pretty boy for him like this, all sensitive and crying after one minor blowjob. how were you going to handle the rest of the night like this?

it was hard to ignore his boner at this point. "mm..mhh, fuck- such a good boy f'me, huh?" he groans while he sucks on you at a slower pace, trying not to overwhelm you too hard (but still overwhelming you :( he's sorry, he swears.). "god, you're so cute.. but you have him so horny and frustrated now, what did you just do to this boy? he isn't frustrated at you.. but..

he isn't letting go of your thighs any time soon.

[eldritchmochi]

yeah I am pretty young lmao, I'll spare you from another playlist by just naming some artists that gave me inspiration for god knows at some point

first off you mentioned Hozier, which I kinda only mention because he released a new album recently. Arctic Monkeys and Father John Misty are kinda in the same boat as him. More like the same lake.

The Amazing Devil and The Oh Hellos never fail to give me some sort of D&D/character inspiration. Ghost does?? something??? as well with characters, but specific ones. Same with Steam Powered Giraffe.

other than that, Library Magic by The Head And The Heart is very Wizard, along with The Magician by Andy Shauf. and because I just can't go without mentioning it, Queen is my favorite band. :)

that's all! with any luck it'll end up being useful somehow lol

hozier is one of those artists who i dont listen to on purpose like ever i dont thinki could name a single song of his with confidence BUT i know his voice starkly as one i really lusted after pre-t. i saw he just dropped a new album and i HAVE to give it a listen to especially the video of sssomething or other (full album mv??? pLEASE) because it stars domnall gleeson and i am still horny for that man even after all these years (he's the actor for hux for context lmao)

queen is also one of my long time favs, though definitely a band i dont know in and out the way i do with a lot of more modern punk bands lmao. freddie has and always will be Gender (god the video for i want to break free was IT for me in like 8th grade right around when i came out)

ive seen spg live before!! they are *great* experience even if you're not deep into the lore (i had friends who were big lore fans). i have heard precisely One And A Half Ghost Songs and im keeping it that way on purpose because its just sooooooo funny that im not into them because aesthetically they are way up my alley (and one of my sibs, a number of irl buddies, and MANY artists i follow are all nuts for them)

ive some passing familiarity with the artic monkeys, enough that i can pick out a number of their more popular songs on the radio even if i cant name them (i am garbage at song titles tho so)

i'll have to check out the rest, especially good Wizards Songs 👀

in response!! further things to check out:

FUNKY.FM - playlist by alexmoukala who is one of my FAVOURITE video game composers. i know him primarily through twitter where he posts snippets of remixed or reimagined video game music... but FUNKY (this one is particularly relevant to u based of ur playlist shared w me)

ye old spooky club 1995 - playlist by unnerving governess who i am 90% sure is gothic charmschool. i know i got the link thru her but i thiiink she also made it (another playlist that may vibe w u based off your playlist)

creature feature, especially the album "the greatest show unearthed" (ookey spooky rock with a lot of vincent price era horror camp and a lot of really impressive technical skill. i want it to be halloween damnit)

the mind electric by the miracle musical (behold, the essence of the inside of my brain but in tangible form. it is. incredibly ominous. do recommend headphones for max goosebumps (includes a lot of records played backwards type sounds and other distortions))

dance monkey by tones and i (one of my big essek songs since i get a lot of that vibe where he's beholden to his station for *so much* that its a disservice to his growth as a person)

bottom is a rock by mother mother (my m9 as a whole song. the chorus has a line for each of them i stg and if i could reliably draw i would do an old school lyricstuck to it)

my verdict on ur playlist btw is that it is very solid and cohesive a+, but *just* to the left of my tastes, largely because a lot of it skews 70s/80s which just by nature of the beast lacks the bass i like (because it was mixed entirely different compared to modern music, which is better suited for sounding big when played digitally through smaller speakers. ive heard some of these bands on big sound systems and theyre MUCH more in line with my tastes then lmao)

[murumokirby360]

My High Purity Copper Wire Replacement Audio for my QKZ AK6 Pro IEM review (w/ my paper dolls) - 2nd Half (Final) [Recorded: Dec 8th, 2023]

DeviantART Version: [CLICK ME!]

Hello, December. Here's my 2nd half (and final) of my 'High Purity Copper Wire Replacement Audio' for my QKZ AK6 Pro IEM Earphones, or as I call it my 'audio wire replacement' (, feat. my paper dolls).

• If you haven't seen my '1st half', then please → [CLICK ME!].

BTW: And once again, If you haven't seen my review of QKZ AK6 Pro (from 2022), then I'll provide some links down below. ↓ 😉

My QKZ AK6 Pro IEM Earphones:

• Revealing parcel [Oct 1st, 2022]

• Part 1 (1st half) [Oct 8th, 2022]

• Part 2 (2nd half) [Oct 8th, 2022]

• Part 3 (Final) [Oct 26th, 2022]

So, without further ado, let's get started:

20th & 21st Image(s): ↑

• Here's a preview of installing my two AK6 Pro earpieces to my new 'audio wire replacement'. 🎶🎧🙂 My paper dolls are excited to wear it. Don't you worry, you two. I hope your ears we're fit. Hehe 😅 Nonetheless, here's my 2nd recorded video. 🎦📲

🎦 My Recorded video No. 2 ↑ 📲

• Here's me connecting two audio pieces into one, and it fits perfectly! 🎧🎶😊 Once again, my apologies for the awful background, despite my current smartphone (the Honor 8C) doesn't have noise cancelling / anti-background sound feature. 🚫🎶🏙️📲

22nd to 24th Image(s): ↑

• [22nd & 23rd Image] Finally, the installation is complete! Care to wear it, you two? 🎧😊 "Yes, please" said my paper dolls. [24th Image] Mmmmm... 🤔 A-Okay, but uhh... I think, would it better if you two wear my headphones over earphones, Okay? 😊 My paper dolls completely agree.

25th & 26th Image(s): ↑

• Now, let's go to the actual wear, featuring "ME!". 😊 You can see these photos of mine, they fit well on both of my ears just like before 👂🙂👍. Sound-wise, the sound quality is the same as I expected 🙂🎶👌, but say cannot be said for the quality of ear hooks. You see, upon wearing these or taking off after hours of listening, the material for the ear hooks feels quite flimsy than the original one. 🪢 👂🎧🤔 My OG audio wire's ear hooks used to have a solid bend without worrying about. On top of that, the wiring itself feels quite light, making it easy to snap after a long use (, as I predict 🤔). Not to mention, the slippery and glossy appearance of the wiring. Though, I'm not sure if this replacement could last as long as the original one. But, we'll see in the endurance durability pace for my new audio wire. On the plus side, it is as comfy as before without hurting my ears; not even once.

• As of today (Dec 15th, 2023), I have no issues whatsoever, so far. I've tested it on my Honor 8C phone to see the function of the controls (play/pause, and the volume buttons), and it worked well. And with the volume controls on my IEM earphones, I don't have to reach my phone just to adjust the volume for hearing purposes. 🎧📲😊👍

Overall & Asking Price:

• Despite material differences between the OG and the replacement one, I'd say if your OG audio wire was busted after the lifespan was dead, a replacement for your current IEM earbuds is a better choice. 🎶🎧😊👍 Not only the audio wire replacements deliver the same quality sound as the original, but they also it'll save your budget, as well, if you have existing functional IEM detachable earpieces. Because some people like me, don't want to spend another spare of regular earphones with no detachable feature, right? Well, okay I guess that is debatable (BUT). 🤔Nonetheless, I think every IEM budget owners should buy this if they so desire. 😊

• As for the price, I order it from Shopee PH for only ₱ 145 [CLICK ME!] 🏷️. 🇵🇭🛒🌐 There's also an additional ₱10 for the pouch, but I rather not spending it. Considering, that I have tons of pouches to used. 🙂 There's also available on Lazada PH [CLICK ME!] 🇵🇭🛒🌐, as well albeit a different price than Shopee 🏷️, plus there's a Type C variant and different style choices.

Well, that's the end of my topic, and see you in 2024! 🥂🥳🎇

Tagged: @lordromulus90, @bryan360, @carmenramcat, @leapant, @rafacaz4lisam2k4, @alexander1301, @paektu

[lemememeringue]

in a wildly uncharacteristic burst of focus and non-manic energy, I filed my Important Papers that have been piling up for two years

[marveloussupernerd]

Packing - TsukiYama

Hello ! Midterms finally ended and I am just: suffering. But I wanted to put something out and this came into my brain the other day

Warnings: Tsukki swears bc it’s Tsukki

Summary: Tsukishima & Yamaguchi have a fight. Swear it isn’t too much angst and you won’t be like depressed by the end (this takes place in the future btw)

“Tsukki, I’m home!” Yamaguchi yelled as he walked through the front door, shutting it behind him and slipping off his jacket to hang it in the closet.

Tsukki bounded down the stairs of their shared home to meet his fiancée at the door. “Missed you.” He pulled Yams into a hug. “How was your day at work?”

“Eh,” He shrugged. “It was fine. It wasn’t the best Thursday I’ve ever had.” His eyes lit up. “Hey! Do you have any plans this weekend? Practices or work meetings or anything?”

Tsukki paused to think. “Believe it or not, I’m actually completely free. Why? Hinata wants to go on another double date?”

Yamaguchi rolled his eyes, pushing the taller man playfully. “Noooo. I just wanted to spend time with you. Without having to be stressed about anything.”

“Not even wedding planning?”

Yamaguchi motioned that he was zipping his lips. “I won’t even say a thing about wedding planning this weekend. Just some chill time for us. I think it’ll be nice.”

“Does sound nice.”

Yamaguchi tilted his head up slightly to kiss his fiancée on the lips, then bounded up the stairs, calling “I’m gonna get changed real quick!” as he did so. All Tsukki could do was shake his head and laugh at how cute he was.

Yamaguchi took off his dress clothes, absolutely wiped out and more than happy to get out of the itchy collar of his shirt. He went to throw the shirt into the hamper, only to see it still missing. “Tsukki!” He called. “Did you get the clothes washed today?”

“Huh?” His fiancée called back from downstairs. “Oh, shit I forgot. I’m sorry.”

He froze. Damn. He was running out of dress clothes to wear to work. He had things, just not anything he liked wearing, not anything comfortable. It was unfortunate.

Tsukki bounded up the steps, making Yamaguchi jump with his voice so nearby. “I don’t think you heard me. I forgot, I’m sorry Yams.”

Yamaguchi glanced towards the man now standing in the doorway and took a deep breath. This really wasn’t the end of the world, just today being so bad at work made things seem worse than they were. “It’s okay!” He cheered back. “If you put the laundry bag in my car I can do it after work tomorrow.”

“No! I can still do it. I just forgot today. I’m sorry.” Tsukki was scratching the back of his neck awkwardly. It clearly hadn’t even crossed his mind.

“No, don’t worry about it.”

“But I can-“

Yamaguchi chuckled slightly. It was... slightly off. Was he getting irritated? Not even he could tell. “I mean, you were supposed to do it Tuesday, then forgot. Then Wednesday. Then today. Just let me do it? I’m running out of nice shirts to wear to work.”

“I’m sorry Yams. I genuinely forgot,” Tsukki frowned, making his way over to the other boy.

“No, it’s not your fault. I have to do laundry way more often than you. In fact, we can just split it up so I do my own and you do your own? That way you don’t have to go more often than you need to.”

He frowned even harder. “No-“

“It’s okay.” Yamaguchi forced a smile. “I understand wanting to be independent. Yeah. Let’s do that.”

He left the room without another word, leaving Tsukishima speechless in their bedroom. What just happened? It felt like this was a step back.

Yamaguchi came back a minute later, laundry bag in hand, dumping it out and getting to work separating the couple’s clothes into different piles. He did so meticulously, making sure not even a sock would end out in the wrong pile. Tsukishima made no effort to stop him nor to help him. He still was confused as hell.

They ate dinner in absolute silence. What was either of them supposed to say? It seemed like the other actually wanted this. Were they really fighting over this? It sucked.

Yamaguchi didn’t let himself cry until he got into the shower, sitting on the floor and letting the water fall over his head. What had he done wrong? Was the wedding stuff too overwhelming? Now Tsukki didn’t even want to share laundry machines.

“Tadashi.” Yamaguchi snapped his head up to see his fiancée at the shower door, holding a towel in his hand. How long had he been sitting in the shower? How long had Tsukki been here?

“I...” what could he even say?

“You okay? You’ve been in there for a while.”

He bit his lip. Hard. Trying not to let it wobble or let out a sob or to even let any tears fall. He stood up and turned off the water, staring at his fiancée and nodding.

“Nice try.” Tsukishima wrapped the towel in his arms around his boyfriend’s figure. “What’s wrong?”

Yamaguchi started to dry off, not able to meet the other man’s eyes. “You don’t even want to share your laundry with me...” he mumbled.

“No, of course I do. You’re the one who separated them.”

“You didn’t stop me.”

He frowned. “I’m sorry. I was very confused in the moment. Are you really okay?”

Yamaguchi nodded half-heartedly. “I’ll be okay. Just work really sucked and it made thing even worse.” He got changed into his pajamas, shaking the excess water out of his hair, then climbed into bed.

Tsukishima climbed in next to him, leaning over to kiss his cheek. “I love you. You know that, right?”

Yamaguchi nodded. Tsukki didn’t make any effort to hold him or cuddle like they usually did before bed, but still, feeling his warm breath against his neck was enough to lull him to sleep.

Yamaguchi was at work before Tsukishima had even woken up, which was pretty surprising. Usually they at least got to see each other in the mornings. Yamaguchi always would make a lunch for Tsukishima and write him a cute little note. He wouldn’t be surprised if there wasn’t one today. He hadn’t realized not doing laundry was a big deal, but clearly it was a build-up of a few other things, and he felt really bad. He had wanted to apologize this morning, but that didn’t seem to happen.

Well, the least he could do was send a text to Yamaguchi.

I’m sorry for missing you this morning. And if I upset you last night. I love you and hope you have a good day

Aaaand now he was running late because he was stuck in his thoughts. He hurried to grab his laptop and his lunch, thank God Tadashi had made him one, and rushed out the door.

Half the day at work his eyes were trained on the lunch. Would there be a message? And why wasn’t Yamaguchi texting him? Hopefully it was just because he was busy.

When it was time for his break, Tsukishima practically leapt out of his seat to grab his lunch, opening it and shifting the food around to look for a note.

Got it!

Happy Friday! Hope you have a great day :)

Oh thank goodness. He let out a giant sigh of relief he hadn’t even realized he was holding in. Were his eyes seriously watering? That was ridiculous. Tadashi wouldn’t stay mad at him for something like that; he really was the best.

Just got on lunch break. Hope you’re having a good lunch <3

That was kind of a cheesy message, but he was very relieved and very much so in love. As long as nobody ever saw it but Yamaguchi it would be okay.

Yamaguchi must’ve had a really busy day. He’d usually reply with something cute, but this time he just loved the message. Well, at least he knew he had seen it.

Something felt weird though. This never happened. He never left for work early. He always replied during his lunch break, and if his break came earlier than Tsukki’s he would text him first.

Well... it was probably nothing.

Yamaguchi’s car was in the garage when Tsukishima got home. Yams usually got home later than him... hopefully that meant today went better at work for him.

“Yamaguchi! I’m home!” He called, making his way through the door.

Silence.

He went to the kitchen, but his fiancée wasn’t there. Outside? Nope. Up in the bedroom?

What?

“T-Tadashi?” He uttered out. There was Yamaguchi, bulky headphones over his ears, shoving clothes into a suitcase.

Yamaguchi’s eyes snapped up to meet his. “Oh!” His face was bright red. “Tsukki, I didn’t know you’d be home yet...” he slipped the headphones off his ears to focus on the distraught man standing over him.

“W-wait. What are you doing?” He knew something was off. He was an idiot for thinking things would be okay.

“Packing?” The man on the floor shrugged. Well yeah, that was obvious enough.

“I... don’t.”

“Hand me that shirt behind you,” Yamaguchi prompted him. Tsukishima looked behind him, eyes trained on one of Yamaguchi’s comfy t-shirts.

“I don’t want to.” He pouted.

Yamaguchi chuckled. “God, you’re such a pain.” He stood up and walked past his fiancée to grab the shirt. Tsukishima grabbed him in his arms as he past, trapping him.

“Tsukki,” he whined, shuffling to get out of his grip.

“No, no, no.” He held him tighter. “I’m not letting you go.” His words caught in his throat. This was stupid. How did Tadashi not realize it was just something stupid!? Had things been building up for a while now and he was too stupid to realize it? His grip tightened even more.

“I can’t breathe. I give in! I won’t move.”

Tsukki, sighed, feeling Yamaguchi relax in his arms, and loosened up a little.

“I’m sorry. I’m sorry for not doing the laundry.”

“It’s okay! We can just do them separate from now on-“

“No!” He shrieked. “I don’t wanna. I wanna do my laundry with yours.”

“Huh? I thought you didn’t.” Yamaguchi seemed genuinely confused.

“No, no. You made that stupid suggestion. I wanna go to the drycleaner’s every week just to get your comfy shirts washed for work. Just... let me.”

“Well, in my defense, I’ve been trying to let you but you keep forgetting.”

“I’m sorry.” His grip was tightening and he could tell. He couldn’t help it. He was afraid if he let him go now he’d never be able to hold him again. “I’ll do it right this time.” His voice was shaky. He was scared.

“Why are you so upset over laundry?” Yamaguchi laughed—a genuine laugh—his chest shaking and giving Tsukishima butterflies, which he definitely didn’t deserve at the moment.

“You’re- you’re fucking packing Tadashi.” He let the boy go, folding his arms in front of him.

“In my defense, you weren’t supposed to find out this way.”

Why was he smiling!? What kind of a sick joke was this? He felt seriously ill. Was today backwards day? April Fools? Did he forget something?

Yamaguchi’s smile faded. “You okay? You look sick?”

“No, I’m not okay,” Tsukishima whimpered, tears brimming in his eyes. “Why are you smiling? And laughing? Do you even like me? Was it just some stupid joke to get with me?”

“Huh?”

“Well, I’m not gonna stop you.” Tsukki grabbed the shirt behind him and threw it towards the suitcase. He walked off towards the bathroom. He was gonna throw up. He should be begging for him to stay, but his stupid attitude came up and now Tadashi’s probably even more upset.

“Tsukki!” He felt the back of his shirt being pulled back. He turned to face him. “I feel like I’m missing something, Tsukki. Are you mad that I couldn’t text you today? We had management come in...”

“Huh? Why would I be mad.”

“You seem very mad...” he replied, eyes trailed on the ground.

“Aren’t you mad?”

“Huh? No. I’m just confused.”

Tsukishima was speechless. What was he missing here? “Why are you packing a bag?”

“Weekend together? I was able to get a flight to a beach and... I don’t know, I thought maybe it’d be fun. Do you have work or something? Did I mess it up?” Yamaguchi was fiddling his thumbs as he spoke, clearly nervous by his fiancée’s attitude.

“You idiot.”

“Hey!” He pouted. “It was going to be a surprise but you got home early.”

“I thought you were mad at me about laundry and you were leaving.”

“Leaving leaving? Why would I have written you a note for your lunch then?”

Tsukki frowned. “Well... I don’t know. I was confused.”

“I’m sorry.” Yamaguchi wrapped his arm around his fiancée’s neck, leaning up to kiss him on the lips. “Do you still wanna go? We don’t have to.”

“You scared me to death. Yes I wanna go.” He wrapped his arms around Yamaguchi’s waist, keeping him close. “Jesus, Tadashi. ‘Really scared me there.”

“I didn’t mean tooooo! I was confused too.”

Tsukishima picked him up, placing kisses all across his face, causing the shorter boy to giggle.

“Tsukki! We have to pack for the flight!” He squealed between giggles.

“When’s it leave?”

“Th-three hours!”

“Ugh, fine.” He dropped his boyfriend unceremoniously. “But to be continued when we get to the hotel, ‘Kay?”

“You better actually help me pack this time.”

He rolled his eyes at his fiancée. “Duh. Shut up you idiot. I love you.”

“I love you too, Tsukki.”

[carlpalmer]

i was tagged by @dalliscar thank you so much trice! 💖

who was your first favourite artist? either linkin park, avril lavigne or blink 182

who are your current favourite? rush, the offspring, genesis, supertramp, olp, the monkees, elton john etc etc

are you into musicals? which ones/why not? i love rocketman with my whole soul. i need to get into more of them. the other ones i've seen were tommy, lisztomania, chicago, mamma mia and high school musical. does the wall count as a musical btw

are there songs you consider so special you only listen to them very rarely? the garden by rush. i can't even touch that song without getting emotional and listening to it while i'm not paying attention feels wrong

what’s your preferred way of listening to music?  (time of day, medium, situation) all day, esp when i am on the bus/car. it has to be spotify bc all the other means are broken/do not exist anymore in this house :(

what would you say is the most niche music you listen to? our lady peace (first 4 albums era). i still haven't found a band that sounds weird in a way i love like them

what’s your favourite music related movie/tv show that’s not a musical? THE MONKEES ive been rewatching that shit and been obsessed again

albums or playlists? i cant choose playlists over albums bc thats immoral but im also addicted to making playlists abt anything and everything as well so... we have a Dilemma - nelly.mp3 (ooooh)

favourite albums? don't ask such thing. there are too many. i could stay here forever

is there an artist you’re trying to get into? probably roxy music and hall & oates. we'll see if my monkees obsession 2.0 will rly let me look further into their stuff or not

whose music do you find overhyped? l*d z*ppelin. no offense if they're your thing, they're just not for me

what’s an underrated song? nimrodel/the procession/the white rider by camel is the first one that comes to mind

what’s a thing a bunch of songs do that you love every time? same trice!! synth solos and heavy synths. there can never be enough synths. plus flute and saxophone in music are my absolute fave things

what song is better acoustic? im not into acoustic stuff, need me some background music in there. resist by rush sounds very good acoustic BUT i still like the album version better

what’s the worst song of all time? SO MANY (i have a playlist for that). here's one of them: have you ever really loved a woman? - bry*n ad*ms

do you put individual songs on repeat? if so, for how long and how often? sometimes. i have to be obsessed w the song for that tho

do you make your own playlists? if so, what’s your most entertaining playlist title? im addicted to making playlists. i have issues. some are in portuguese. i will do my best effort to translate them

me 3.0 - tokyo drift

the ghost of cringemas past

uncle car radio songs

songs to annoy giulia (i have such playlist for each member of the family, which i use as a weapon regularly)

all i want for christmas is YOUUU soulja boy tell 'em

headphones or earbuds? earbuds

do you always sing the lead vocal or do you harmonize sometimes? if you harmonize, do you ever invent your own harmony? i do both, it depends on which part of the song i find most interesting. i only do my own as mockery

a musical confession: i find myself liking more and more dad synth pop/rock music as i get older, songs i hated when i was a kid. why is this a social phenomenon? are we all doomed to become phil collins dads?

tagging (sorry to bother, i haven't tagged anyone in a really long time and thought i should be fair this time): @mikerutherford @shirleywatts @musicacuantica @eddie-rifff @bonytanks @thenineofus @camilabarbara @blankiyah @werewolves @the-supernatural-atheist @club-america @hadescavedish @progrockhuntress @pianonoita

[bookwyrminspiration]

Sokeefitz with a kid on the ASD spectrum. The four of them would be the s w e e t e s t

nonsie I don’t think you understand the absolute euphoria I experienced when I saw this ask, so I kinda went off— (oops but no ones surprised)

The kid has sensory issues with light, which is kinda an issue when you live in a society that literally revolves around light

Keefe buys all kinds of sunglasses for them, and he worked with Dex to design special curtains that block out the sun really well but still matched their room (someone please get me some hnnng sun hurts)

They absolutely love music and it’s one of their favorite stims to listen to songs on repeat

But elven music just doesn’t quite hit right, it doesn’t have those deep bass tones and pounding rhythms that send shivers down your spine and make you move

So when Sophie introduced them to human music, they were so ecstatic and they started to jump around because ooo this is how music should feel

But they need to be careful because if they move to quickly and too fast they’ll get dizzy and need to sit down

Fitz asked Dex to make them headphones that were noise cancelling (because oof noise be icky sometimes)

Their imparter now connects to the human internet so they can find their own songs, and they really enjoy bass boosted, slowed, and reverbed songs—also 8D audio because they work better with their mind

The texture of mallowmelt is a big no for the kid—basically soggy cake and it made them nauseous—so Fitz spent weeks perfecting a cookie recipe that has the taste of mallowmelt with none of the texture so they could enjoy it

Keefe is really good at talking them through their emotions and the family had a system to determine what their kid is trying to say

When the kid says something they think sounds rude, condescending, etc, they ask what their words mean and it gives them an opportunity to communicate openly with each other, because the majority of the time the kid isn’t mad or anything, they’re just speaking differently that neurotypicals and don’t even realize

Their kid often asks them “what does your face mean” because to them it just looks like an exaggerated cartoon and they can’t decipher much from it, and Sophie, Keefe, and Fitz are always very patient and tell them plainly what they’re thinking/feeling

When they have a meltdown they find it really hard to breathe and their eyes can’t focus on anything, so they have a designated room in the house for meltdowns so they have a quiet, low stimulating environment to collect themself in without accidentally hurting themself

Their favorite stim toys are the ones that move smoothly—like the quiet, well oiled ones ahh they’re so satisfying—and Fitz always has a few on him whenever they go anywhere just in case the ones the kid decided to bring don’t work or they loose focus

Oh and visual stim wise they love the way Linh plays with water—it’s all about that fluidity babeyyyyy

They have this whistle stim too mostly, subconscious at this point. They randomly just whistle like two notes—like the Twitter notification kinda—and sometimes one of them or their friends (idk why but I feel like Tam) just parrot it back to them and then they just whistle at each other for a bit

but mostly I really appreciate how none of them would hold it against their kid or try to make them mask and teach them to hide their traits. It’s just this is their autistic kid and they love them wholeheartedly

If I don’t stop now I’m not going to stop ever my mind is buzzing with ideas and I love this so much

what if they also had adhd

nonsie I seriously cannot stop

if you send me another ask I will guaranteed go off again just so you know /g

you are welcome to do so btw /g

[virgil-is-a-cutie]

Oh, if you're still doing Alya salt, maybe do something where She ends up footing the bill for all the "free" stuff she got as Marinette's friend since she made it clear they aren't anymore?

This is pro-class and pro-Chloé btw

Pay The Price and Suffer

"I'M NOT YOU'RE FRIEND ANYMORE MARINETTE!"

The class is shocked by the screaming that comes out of Alya's mouth but to their surprise Marinette just stays sitting down on her desk with headphones on.

She looks up to see Alya who was glaring furiously at her.

She takes off her headphones, she had been listening to Set It Off's album Midnight.

"What is it now Césaire?" she asked with a raised eyebrow, her voice dripping of malice.

Everyone in class' eyes widened at how they heard the bluenette address Alya. She had only done it once and that was when they were younger.

The glasses wearing teen was shocked at the tone of her ex-best friend and blushed a little at the tone.

"W...we're not friends anymore Marinette."

"Anything important?" she asked with sarcasm as she wrote a few things down in a journal.

Alya's eyes widened and she hesitates for a bit, "no. I just don't want to be friends with a jealous bitch," she hissed out weakly before making her way to her seat next to Lila who was feigning a small pout.

Mari rolled her eyes while the rest of her friends gave her a smile and sent her a few texts to cheer her up.

Thanks to Sabrina being in the restroom while Lila made her threat she and Chloé basically sat the whole class down, except Alya who was busy, to inform them of what happened.

After that the whole class were wary of Lila and didn't believe her that much much to her frustration other than Alya.

The class tried to explain to Alya but she wouldn't listen to them at all no matter what each of them said to her.

Poor Nino broke up with her once he noticed how his girlfriend was treating Marinette. He was glad since Alya just posted nonsense in her blog without fact checking.

Adrien, too was rather into just plain ignoring Lila and even told Gabriel that he wouldn't want somone as tacky as her to be a model.

Surprisingly Gabriel agreed, because really Lila? Hair in three ponytails that looks like sausages?

He's seen children models look better than her with that hairstyle and they made it look nice.

Marinette eyes Adrien and when he looked back at her they smiled widely before texting each other before class started.

The rest of her friends were worried.

-----

Alya paled as her mother held up a small piece of paper while a huge stack of papers sat on the table.

"Care to explain why the fuck you owe 2 million euros to the Dupain-Cheng Bakery as well an additional 1 million euros to Marinette?" her mother hissed quietly glaring fiercely at her daughter.

Nora was sitting in the couch covering her face as her whole body shook with anger and disbelief.

Alya looked at her father who was quiet and looking at his phone, not knowing that he was checking their bank account to see how much they had.

The twins, not understanding what was happening, but understanding that the mood of the room was a bit bad stayed quiet as they did their homework.

"W....what?" Alya asked as she felt her stomach tighten.

3 million euros? For what?!!!

"YOU OWE THE DUPAIN-CHENGS 3 MILLION EUROS ALYA! TELL ME WHY?!" her mother screamed angrily with fire on her eyes as she slammed the receipt into the table making Alya flinch.

"Don't bother asking her mom, I read the packet. She owes them because of all the baked goods she begged Marinette to bring to her whenever they hanged out or for lunch...as well as all the outfits and gifts she bitched to Mari into making them for her," Nora said quietly, her voice sounding so weak.

"Alya...why didn't you pay for any of this?" her father asks her softly looking at her with tired disappointed eyes.

"I...that was when Marinette was my best friend and best friends gift each-" Alya tried to explain but her mother screamed again.

"JUST BECAUSE YOUR SUPPOSED BEST FRIEND OWNS A BAKERY AND CAN DESIGN DOESN'T ENTITLE YOU TO ASK FOR FREE THINGS ALYA!"

"Alya....all those free things can hurt their business. What made you think that all of that was free?" Nora asked looking at her younger sister with red eyes.

Alya felt small as her mother glared at her as she quietly whispered.

"Because she was my friend."

-----

Alya made her way to class with her head down, her eyes were droopy and her hair a mess after not being able to sleep the whole night.

She froze when she saw Marinette, Adrien, and the whole class eating from a box from the bakery.

She stomps towards the group but froze when she noticed that all of them looked at her with a look of distrust.

"I bet you gave that to all of them for free," she hissed out weakly.

Everyone in the class got a confused look before Nathaniel spoke up.

"I sent a text to Mari last night that I was going to buy a box of macaroons for the class to eat in the morning."

Alya froze when she heard that, "w...wait what? You guys...order it the day before?" she asks weakly.

Everyone frowns at her tone before nodding.

"Well yeah. Before you came along Chloé would basically buy 2 boxes of croissants and macaroons each day to share with the class. A few times even her dad would buy 3 boxes of cookies when Chloé was too sick to come to school. Heck out all their customers they tip the bakery so much that even Tom feels bad."

Chloé sheepishly smiled as Marinette playfully glared at her. Chloé and Nathaniel were the only ones in the class to pay her more than necessary when doing a commission.

"I...I thought all those times she brought them as to just share," she said weakly.

Everyone frowns and turn to look at Marinette who raised an eyebrow.

"I believe you got the receipt then?"

"I...I thought it was all free Marinette!" she weakly tries to protest.

When the class heard that suddenly they understood what was going on.

Chloé raised an eyebrow, "you thought that Marinette just gave all the stuff for free? How stupid do you have to be Césaire? Her parents have people who ask to open a tab which they pay a week later."

"B...but all the outfits..." Alya tried to reason.

"All of those were commissions...honestly Césaire you'd think the class would make Marinette waste valuable material and time to make us all the stuff she gives us for free? You'd be absolutely stupid to think we'd ask for free stuff just because she's our friend."

"...Alya did you think just because we were friends with Mari we'd get all of the things she brings to class was free?" Nino asked his ex girlfriend who looked away in shame.

"Alya those outfits and gifts she gives us were commissions we sent her like...2 years ago in advance depending on what was needed through her website," Sabrina informed the now distraught looking teen.

"B...but-"

"I wasted a lot of bakery goods and designs on you Alya because you begged me to or would just bitch to me about them. We aren't friends anymore so you might as well pay the bill of all those 'free' things you felt entitled to," Marinette said with a glare that made the taller girl feel small.

"But my fam-"

"I could care less Alya, you brought this on yourself," Marinette said with a sigh before walking to her desk and Nathaniel grabbed the box of goodies before following after Marinette.

Alya stood there hurt and confused as the rest followed the bluenette.

That night Alya was grounded and had to get a job as her parents informed her that they only paid 1/10 of the bill. Having informed Mari's parents that that's all they were willing to pay since it was Alya who basically asked for free stuff and the rest was to be paid by herself with no other help from her family.

Marinette and her parents agreed since they knew Alya's parents basically were disappointed on their daughter.

Marinette knew it'd take possibly years for Alya to pay back, but Alya's parents kept reminding her whenever she got back from work and kept a chalkboard to show her progress.

She didn't make that much progress after 3 months.

Mari and the class didn't care, neither did Lila who was screamed at by the glasses wearing teen when she found out she was lied to.

Now she had to pay the price.

Tag list: @thyladyanput @18-fandoms-unite-08 @musicfeedsmysoul12 @a-marlene-s @unmaskedagain

[mysteryartisticwriter]

Alright, Spider-man // Peter Parker X Reader

A/N: Hey loves, I know I need to do a part two of “What’s Stopping You?” but I just had this idea and I really wanted to write it! Every time I see an AU where the reader is the daughter of Tony, I always like to think of how they would actually meet if they met in the actual MCU. So, I made this! I hope you guys like it because I still need to do several other stories to do, such as my Wattpad story and that part two. Anyway, enjoy!

TAKES PLACE IN CIVIL WAR

REQUESTS ARE STILL CLOSED BTW (FOR NOW)

Requested: Nope

Warnings: None

Not my gif!! (Please tell me if you, the owner, would like me to take the gif down!)

-

“Why do I have to come, again?”

Your father, Tony Stark, had forced you to come with him to pick up a new recruit. You’ve heard the situation currently happening at the moment, Uncle Cap and your father having a disagreement about the Sokovia Accords and a division between the Avengers.

Soon, Tony was going to Germany with Auntie Nat, Uncle Rodey and two other recruits, one being the one you were going to pick up right now. The two of you were in front of the small apartment door and were about to knock.

“Because the kid is your age, he might feel more comfortable around someone his age. It’ll be quick, I swear.” Your father answered.

You sighed, patting down your black dress suit and blowing a few strands of (h/c) hair, usually braided but now in a bun, from your face. You knew better than to argue with your dad, it never went anywhere since his stubborness was passed down to you.

While wiping a stray hair from your face, you knocked on the door and stood next to your father.

A middle aged, yet young looking woman opened the door. “Can I help you?”

“Hi, I’m Tony Stark and this is my daughter (Y/n),” you waved at the woman. “We’re here to speak to Peter Parker.”

The lady’s face turned to shock and she seem flustered for a moment then she regained her stance.

“Oh my- um...come on in!”

She opened the door wider to let you two in and you walked in after your dad. You looked around her apartment and felt a comfort and homey feeling. It was nice and simple, definitely a humble family.

“My name is May Parker, I’m Peter’s aunt. He’ll be home soon, he just finished school. But until then, I made tea and meatloaf! Take a seat and have some!” The woman, May, picked up a tray of cookies from the kitchen top.

You graciously took a piece and smiled at her, giving her a thank you in responce. Your dad took several pieces and sat on her couch, you following him.

May set down the tray on the table in the middle of the living room and sat on the couch next to you.

“I don’t mean to be rude, I mean it’s an honor to have the Tony Stark and his daughter in my home but what do you need to talk with Peter about?” She questioned.

“I assume Peter has told you about the grant, yes?” Tony lied.

“Grant? Um, no, he hasn’t. I-I don’t think so, at least.” May replied.

You and your dad exchanged fake shocked looks.

“Well basically, your nephew applied to the Stark Inc. Internship; a internship where young smart minds, like Peter, get the chance to work around my company part time. He got accepted.” He explained, taking another bite out of his meatloaf piece.

May’s eyes widened at your father’s words and looked over to you, as if not believing him. You nodded and a large smile grew on her face.

“O-oh wow! I can’t believe he hasn’t told me about it!”

Just then, the door of the apartment opened. You could see a young brown haired boy in a thin, navy blue sweater walk through it. He hadn’t said anything so you guessed he just didn’t notice you yet.

“Hey, May.” You assumed was Peter, greeted before dropping his keys on the counter and heading to the kitchen.

“Hey, how was school today?” May asked.

“It was okay, but there’s this crazy car parked outside.” Peter turned towards his Aunt but saw you and your father as well. You and your father pretended to not notice him while he came in.

His face showed silent shock, his mind not believing what he was seeing. From what you saw, you had to admit he was pretty cute and good looking. For a second, you didn’t believe he was your age because he looked to be about maybe 18, but looks can be deceiving.

“Oh, Mr. Parker.”

“Um,” Peter took out his wired headphones. “W-what are you- hey! I’m uh...I’m-I’m Peter.”

“Tony.” Your dad gestured to you.

“I’m (Y/n).” You smiled.

“What-what are you doing here?”

“It’s about time we met. You’ve been getting my emails, right?” Tony winked with his eyes, telling the boy to go along with what he was saying.

“Yeah-yeah...regarding the-”

“You didn’t even tell me about the grant?” May interjected.

“About the grant! Right.”

“The September foundation? Yeah? Remember when you applied?”

“...yeah.” Peter sheepishly replied.

“We’ve approved!” Tony pointed to him and you.

“So now, we’re in business.” You finished for him.

“You didn’t tell me anything. What’s up with that? Are you keeping secrets from me now?” May asked, a little hurt.

“I just- I just know how much you love surprises so I thought I would let you know...anyway, what did I apply for?”

“That’s what we’re here to hash out.” You told him, his eyes looking towards you.

“It is so hard to believe that she is someone’s aunt.” Flirted your dad, you gagged on the inside.

Aunt May just laughed. “Well they do come out in all shapes and sizes, you know?”

“This woman’s meatloaf is exceptional.”

“Lemme just stop you there. Is this grant like got money involved or whatever..?” The brown haired boy wondered. You giggled at his words.

“Yeah, its pretty well funded. Look who you’re talking to.” You stated, smirking a little.

“Can we get five minutes with him?” Asked Tony.

May agreed and the three of you headed towards a more private area, more so, Peter’s bedroom. Once you entered, you closed the door behind you and did a quick scan of his room.

It was filled with many layers of technology around the room and his desk was full of it. His room was smaller than the average bedroom, definitely smaller than yours and one twin sized bed laid in the middle of it against the wall.

Peter walked towards his desk and your dad spat out the meatloaf in his mouth to the trashcan. You almost laughed at his distaste to the woman’s food.

“As meatloaf goes, that wasn’t too bad.” He said then looked around the room.

Your dad looked at the old computer and other devices on Peter’s desk.

“Oh, what do we have here? Retro-tech, huh? Thrift store? Salvation Army?” Tony asked Peter.

“The garbage, actually.”

“So you’re a dumpster diver?” You raised an eyebrow at the boy.

“Yeah I was...um anyway, look. I definitely did not apply for your grant-“

“Nah uh! Us first.” You looked over to your dad, he waved his hand and you took out the small device in your pocket.

“Quick question of the rhetorical variety,” as you held up the device, a hologram popped up and a video started to play of a web swinging person stopped a man from breaking into a car. “This is you, right?”

“Um, n-no. What do- what do you mean?”

You smirked before pulling up another video of the hero you knew was him. It was footage of him stopped a car from crashing into a moving bus.

“Look at you go!” Your dad joined in.

“Wow, nice catch. 3,000 pounds and 40 miles an hour? It’s not easy. You’ve got mad skills.” You complimented Peter while putting the tech away.

A small smile grew on his face until his washed away almost immediately.

“That’s all- that’s all on YouTube though, right? I mean that’s where you found that? ‘Cause you know that’s all fake, it’s all done on a computer.” The boy tried to lie but you and your dad were not having it.

“Mhm.” Your dad hummed, looking up in the ceiling and noticing something. You followed your dad’s gaze and grabbed a nearby bat from the floor.

While Peter continued to prattle on, you pushed the top part of the bat into the attic opening and a red and blue suit, attached on a string came flying down.

“No!” Peter managed to grab the suit before you could and hid it in the small part of his room where the rest of his clothes were.

You high fived your dad and he gave you a proud smile. Peter turned away from his hidden suit and awkwardly looked anywhere but you two.

“Ahh...that’s uh...” The hidden hero sighed, knowing he was finally caught.

“So, you’re the ‘Spider-ling’? ‘Crime fighting Spider’? You’re ‘Spider-boy’?” Asked your dad.

Peter hesitated for a moment before answering. “Spider-man.”

“Not in that onesie you’re not.”

“It’s not a onesie.” Peter gave a hard glare at your dad, walking past you both.

You grabbed his suit out of the corner of his room, handing it to your dad.

“You know, I was actually having a really good day today, Mr. Stark. Didn’t miss my train, found this perfectly good DVD player that was just sitting there and algebra test; nailed it.” The boy told you.

“Who else knows? Anybody?” You inquired.

He just shook his head in reply. “Nobody.”

“Not even your unusually attractive Aunt?”

“Dad, no.”

“No! No, no, no! If she knew, she would freak out! And when she freaks out, I freak out.” Peter pointed towards the outside of his room where his Aunt was still sitting.

Your dad then tapped you on the leg with his own and showed you a small container filled with some type of fluid. He passed it to you and you examined it, looking at it with fascination.

“You know what I think is really cool? That webbing.” Tony pointed towards the container in your hands and you tossed it to the web slinger, who caught it right before it hit his face. You looked at him with an impressed expression and smiled at him, earning a shy one back.

“The tensile strength is off the charts. Who manufactured this?” You brought into the conversation.

“I did.” Answered Peter, throwing the web fluid back into the corner.

“Climbing walls, how do you do that? Adhesive gloves?”

“It’s uh...long story.”

“Lordy! Can you even see in these?” Your dad teased as he brought Peter’s suit goggles up to his own eyes. You laughed as he made weird sounds with them.

“Yes! Yes, I can!” Peter yanked the suit away from your father and tossed it into the clothes pile.

“Yes, I can see in those, okay? It’s just that when whatever happened...happened, its like my senses have been dialed to 11. There’s way too much input so they just kinda help me focus.” Explained Peter.

‘This is going nowhere.’ You thought. Gazing back to Peter and his suit, you walked to Peter’s desk.

“Dad, mind if I talk to Peter alone for a bit?” You insisted.

Tony looked between you and Peter, sighing then got up to leave the room.

“No funny business, Mr. Parker.” He said, using his ‘dad voice’ as you called it then walked out.

It was silent for a few moments until you spoke up.

“You are in dire need of an upgrade.” You snickered, sitting on his bed and looking at him.

The boy just leaned against his wall, shy and awkward. You just figured he’s never been alone with a girl before, nonetheless, in his own bedroom.

“Okay, start talking.” You pat the bed part next to you, offering a seat.

Peter shuffled quietly towards his bed and sat next to you, looking away and slightly blushing.

“Why are you doing this?” Peter just looked to you, confused. “I gotta know, what’s your MO? What gets you out of this twin bed in the morning?”

Fidgeting with his hands, the hero replied, “Because...because I’ve been me my whole life and I’ve had these powers for six months. I read books! I build computers! And yeah, I would love to play football but I couldn’t then so I shouldn’t now.”

“Sure, because you’re different.”

“Exactly. But I can’t tell anybody that so I’m not.”

Peter began to grow shy again so you gently rested a hand on his fidgeting ones in his lap. He looked to you, shocked but no words came out of his mouth. The brown eyed boy sighed and looked to you.

“Look, when you can do the things that I can, but you don’t,” you slightly leaned forward, but not enough to envaid his space. “And then the bad things happen...they happen because of you.”

You knew what he was talking about, your dad always told you about how it was dangerous out there in the field. You were kidnapped with Pepper years back, getting hurt in the process and your dad almost lost it. Tony didn’t want you to get involved with any hero stuff to avoid you getting hurt or killed. Your dad felt guilty, guilty for letting you into this life where someone was always after him. Therefore, after you.

“So you’re just looking out for the little guy? You wanna help out the world, do your part and make your home a better place on that, right?” Quietly, you responded.

“Yeah-yeah, just looking out for the little guy. I mean, it is what it is.” He stuttered.

A couple seconds go by until you stand up, looking around his room one more time.

“You got a passport by any chance?”

“No, I don’t- I don’t even have a driver’s license.”

“You ever been to Germany?” You interrupted him. He shook his head.

“Oh well, then you’ll love it.”

Peter looked at you with a mix of a strange and shocked expression on his face.

“No, no I can’t go to Germany!” Exclaimed Peter.

You chuckled, “Why?”

“I-I...I got homework.” Peter stuttered. You rolled your eyes and stuffed your hands in your dress pants pockets.

“Okay, I’m gonna just pretend you didn’t even say that.”

“I mean, I’m serious! I can’t just drop out of school!”

“Why not? I did. And I’m your age.” You gestured to yourself.

“W-well, why can’t you just go?” Peter tried to argue.

You scoffed, “As if my dad would allow me, his own daughter, to go against Captain America. He barely lets me out of the house.”

The brunette sighed and ran his hands over his hair in distress. You knew you only had one more chance to get Peter to come to Germany, and a bright idea came to your mind.

“Welp, it might be a little dangerous so I think I’ll just tell my dad to tell your Aunt May-“

Right before you could touch the doorknob of his room, Peter sprayed a douse of web fluid onto your hand, sticking it to the knob so you couldn’t turn it.

Smirking, you turned to look at the new recruit, whose arm was pointed outwards and fingers in a position so he could spray the webbing at you.

“Don’t tell Aunt May.” Peter warned.

“Alright, Spider-man.”

-

TAGGED:

A/N: Tell me if you wanna be tagged in my Marvel stories!

@dear-selena​ (i know this is what you requested but i promise you i will make the part two of the last one you liked!)

[amoralto]

Hi! Since you're such a great source for Beatle quotes, do you happen to know if any of them ever commented on Charles Manson using Helter Skelter/the White Album as justification? I don't think I've ever come across any comments from them and I'd be super interested to know what they thought. Thanks! Love the blog, btw

Hello! And thank you so much for liking the blog. 😭 The short of it is that they have, intermittently, and there was some contemporaneous one-sided goings-on as well. I’ll put it all behind a cut, lest I be an interminable eyesore on dashboards.

For how/why Manson interpreted the White Album as he did, Barry Miles provides a good overview:

Charles Manson, thepsychopathic killer responsible for seven murders including that ofthe actress Sharon Tate, blamed LSD and the Beatles’ White Albumfor the series of killings his “Family” committed in August 1969.Manson was obsessed with the Beatles and, like many disturbedBeatles fans, thought they were directing secret messages to him viatheir songs. In Manson’s case, he thought the messages wereordering him to kill, and that “Helter Skelter” was the uprising in which blacks would murder a third of the world’s population. It wasalso the name his followers used for a murder spree. In his ramblingstatement at the conclusion of his murder trial on 19 November1970, he told the judge and jury:

“Like, Helter Skelter is a nightclub.Helter Skelter means confusion. Literally. It doesn’t mean any warwith anyone. It doesn’t mean that those people are going to kill otherpeople. It only means what it means. Helter Skelter is confusion.Confusion is coming down fast. If you don’t see the confusion comingdown fast, you can call it what you wish. It’s not my conspiracy. It isnot my music. I hear what it relates. It says ‘Rise!’ It says ‘Kill!’ Whyblame it on me? I didn’t write the music. I am not the person whoprojected it into your social consciousness.”

There were five tracks onthe White Album that Manson played more than others: “Blackbird”, “Piggies”, “Revolution 1”, “Revolution 9” and “Helter Skelter”, thoughfor Manson virtually every one of the thirty tracks brimmed withhidden significance. Even the fact that the sleeve was white wasprophetic. Manson’s interpretation of the Beatles’ lyrics was atwisted affair also heavily dependent on the Book of Revelation ofJohn 9, which he equated with John’s “Revolution 9”. In the biblicalRevelation, St. John says, “So the four angels held were set loose tokill a third of mankind. They had been held ready for this moment,for this very year and month, day and hour …”

To Manson theBeatles were the four angels. At the beginning of Revelation 9, Johnsees an angel [star] fall to earth: “and the star was given the key ofthe shaft of the abyss. With this he opened the shaft of the abyss;and from the shaft smoke rose like smoke from a great furnace, andthe sun and the air were darkened by the smoke from the shaft.Then over the earth, out of the smoke, came locusts …” Locusts, inManson’s mind, meant beetles. The fallen angel with the key was, ofcourse, himself. He had also found an abandoned mine shaft in thedesert north of Los Angeles about which he span many a fancy taleto his brainwashed followers, claiming it was the shaft in Revelation9.

Manson’s exegesis of Beatles lyrics was a supreme example ofobsessional interpretation and would have been hilarious had theresults not been so tragic. Manson taught his followers that theWhite Album prophesied that the black races would rise up andmurder the whites but that Manson and his Family would be saved.To him, “Rocky Raccoon” was about a “coon”, a black man. “Happiness Is a Warm Gun” was the Beatles telling the blacks thatthe time had come to fight, and the lyrics to “Blackbird” spelled it out even more clearly. With headphones on, Manson was able to hearthe command to “Rise!” hidden in the mix of John and Yoko’s soundcollage urging the blacks to rise up; in fact it was John shouting “Right” from the original “Revolution” tape. The white enemy wasidentified in “Piggies”, which is why the Family scrawled the words “Death to Pigs” in blood on the wall after killing Rosemary and LenoLaBianca with knives and forks “in the dead of night”, and “Pig” onthe door of Sharon Tate’s home.

The words to “Helter Skelter”showed Manson and the Family emerging from the shaft to take overafter Armageddon. Manson expected the murders to be the long-awaited signal for the blacks to begin their bloody uprising and wassurprised that riots did not follow. Vincent Bugliosi, Deputy DistrictAttorney for Los Angeles, whose book Helter Skelter is the standardwork on the trial and Manson’s cult, questioned Manson about hisbeliefs. “We both know you ordered those murders,” he told him. “Bugliosi,” Manson replied, “it’s the Beatles, the music they’reputting out. They’re talking about war. These kids listen to this musicand pick up the message. It’s subliminal.” It was complete madness.

— Barry Miles, Many Years From Now. (1997)

John’s thoughts right around the time of the trial:

WENNER: What did you think of [Charles Manson] when that thing happened?

JOHN: I don’t know what I thought when it happened. I just think a lot of the things he says are true, that he’s a child of the state made by us. And he took their children in when nobody else would, is what he did. But of course he’s cracked, alright.

WENNER: What were your feelings when he quoted ‘Helter Skelter’?

JOHN: Well, he’s barmy. He’s like any other Beatle kind of fan who reads mysticism into it. I mean we used to have a laugh—put in this, that or the other in a light-hearted way, that some intellectual would read as symbolic youth generation whatsit. But we also took seriously some parts of the role. But I don’t know what’s ‘Helter Skelter’ got to do with knifin’ somebody, you know? I’ve never listened to the words properly, “helter skelter,” which is sort of a noise.

— John Lennon, Lennon Remembers interview w/ Jann Wenner. (December 8th, 1970)

Interestingly, in the lead-up to the trial, The Family had tried to get in contact with the Beatles:

With Beatles’ lyrics adding an enigmatic backdrop to the proceedings, it transpired that Manson wanted to call John Lennon to court to support his reading of ‘Helter Skelter’. In fact, Charlie was wrong to credit Lennon with the song, as it was actually Paul McCartney’s sole composition. Nonetheless, someone from the Family obtained the London number of Apple Corps, The Beatles’ London headquarters. As chief messenger, Squeaky made a series of calls with a view to talking to one of the group.

‘One of the Family, Squeaky, called the Apple press office,’ remembers Apple press office assistant, Richard Di Lello. ‘Not wanting to get involved, I do remember that we passed that call on to Peter Brown [Apple Corporation head]. The call from Squeaky did not get very far. We wanted nothing to do with them.’

But the Family didn’t give up on The Beatles so easily, not after they’d help kick-start their bloody rampaging. Gypsy, one of Manson’s most loyal supporters, collared reporters during the trial, armed with a message to be passed on to the Fab Four. ‘What can I say to the damn Beatles?’ Gypsy begged journalist David Felton visiting Spahn’s Ranch. ‘Just get in touch, man. This is their trial. And all the things they’ve been hearing – there’s something happening here; they should see it by now. It’s hard to see through the negative, but just tell them to call. Give them our number.’

— Simon Wells, Charles Manson: Coming Down Fast. (2010)

The defense team also tried to officially subpoena John to testify for (them and) ‘Helter Skelter’, either not knowing he wasn’t the writer of the song either, or banking on the John-Is-The-Intellectual-Beatle persona, or most likely some measure of both:

But, in London, a spokesman for the Beatles said today that is “like summoning Shakespeare to explain Macbeth.”

What’s more, said the spokesman, the song in question “Helter Skelter” — was written not by Lennon but by Paul McCartney, another Beatle.

“We want John Lennon to testify,” a defense source said in an interview Tuesday. “We feel he may want to explain the lyrics.”

— Associated Press, Tate Defense Wants Beatle to Be Witness. (October 28th, 1970)

‘We want John Lennon to testify,’ a defence spokesperson revealed at the time. ‘We feel he may want to explain his lyrics … He’s the most articulate and philosophical of the Beatles, and he understands his social and political effect on the world.’

— Associated Press? (October 28th, 1970), c/o Simon Wells, Charles Manson: Coming Down Fast. (2010)

Lennon told the Associated Press: “I’m a peace-loving man. If I were a praying man, I’d pray to be delivered from people like Charles Manson who claim to know better than I do what my songs are supposed to mean.”

Reporter Donald White also quoted Lennon as saying, “Why didn’t Manson listen to our song ‘Revolution’? ‘Revolution’ clearly states my position on violence. ‘When you talk about destruction, you can count me out!’”

Lennon didn’t testify at the trial which ended on Jan. 25, 1971. Manson was found guilty of first degree murder and conspiracy to commit murder.

— Steve Seymour, Infamy grows for Helter Skelter. (February 23rd, 2011)

And John in 1980:

SHEFF: Did it trouble you when the interpretations of your songs were destructive, such as when Charles Manson claimed that your lyrics were messages to him?JOHN: No. It has nothing to do with me. It’s like that guy, Son of Sam, who was having these talks with the dog. Manson was just an extreme version of the people who came up with the ‘Paul is dead’ thing or who figured out that the initials to ‘Lucy in the Sky with Diamonds’ were LSD and concluded I was writing about acid.

…

SHEFF: ‘Helter Skelter’?

JOHN: That’s Paul completely. All that [Charles] Manson stuff was built ’round George’s song about pigs and this one… Paul’s song about an English fairground. It has nothing to do with anything and, least of all, to do with me.

— John Lennon, interview w/ David Sheff for Playboy. (September, 1980)

Paul, George, and Ringo, from what I’ve seen, have been overall reticent about it over the years, usually speaking of the song solely on its own terms and not Charles Manson’s. But they did touch upon it in Anthology:

PAUL: Then it got over to America – the land of interpretive people. And as a DJ would later ‘interpret’ the fact that I had no shoes on the Abbey Road cover, Charles Manson interpreted that ‘Helter Skelter’ was something to do with the four horseman of the Apocalypse. I still don’t know what all that stuff is: it’s from the Bible, Revelations – I haven’t read it so I wouldn’t know. But he interpreted the whole thing – that we were the four horsemen, ‘Helter Skelter’ the song – and arrived at having to go out and kill everyone.It was terrible. You can’t associate yourself with a thing like that. Some guy in the States had done it – but I’ve no idea why. It was frightening, because you don’t write songs for those reasons. Maybe some heavy metal groups do nowadays, but we certainly never did.

RINGO: It was upsetting. I mean, I knew Roman Polanski and Sharon Tate and – God! – it was a rough time. It stopped everyone in their tracks because suddenly all this violence came out in the midst of all this love and peace and psychedelia. It was pretty miserable, actually, and everyone got really insecure – not just us, not just the rockers, but everyone in LA felt: ‘Oh God, it can happen to anybody.’ Thank God they caught the bugger.GEORGE: Everyone was getting on the Beatles bandwagon. The police and the promoters and the Lord mayors – and murders too. The Beatles were topical and they were the main thing that was written about in the world, so everybody attached themselves to us, whether it was our fault or not. It was upsetting to be associated with something so sleazy as Charles Manson.

— The Beatles: Anthology. (2000)

PAUL: I wasusing the symbol of a helter skelter as a ride from the top to thebottom, the rise and fall of the Roman Empire and this was the fall,the demise, the going down. You could have thought of it as a rathercute title but it’s since taken on all sorts of ominous overtonesbecause Manson picked it up as an anthem, and since then quite afew punk bands have done it because it is a raunchy rocker. […] We did work very hard on that track.Unfortunately it inspired people to evil deeds.

— Barry Miles, Many Years From Now. (1997)

I’ll end with a recent Paul interview, because in the end, what ‘Helter Skelter’ is is a good song, and a damn good one:

“Well, that put me off doing it forever,” he says. “I thought, I’m not doing [‘Helter Skelter’], you know, because it was too close to that event, and immediately it would have seemed like I was, either I didn’t care about all the carnage that had gone on or whatever, so I kept away from it for a long time. But then in the end I thought, you know, that’d be good on stage, that’d be a nice one to do, so we brought it out of the bag and tried it and it works. It’s a good one to rock with, you know.”

— Paul McCartney, interview w/ Dan Stubbs for NME. (September 14th, 2018)

[redandfranticfeelings]

okay ive been wanting to make a post like this for a while but i wanted to make it an essay and i dont know if i can really organize my thoughts in that way yet, so here’s a chronological bullet-pointed dump to explain my very important thesis:

be more chill is about internalized ableism, and jeremy, michael, and christine are all highly autistic coded. this is going to be very long and detailed but only because there’s a lot of details that work very well under this lens.

there’s probably even stuff i missed but this is already extremely long so it basically just functions as a way for me to collect a bunch of details that i can piece together later in a more coherent manner.

“more than survive” in the context of jeremy being autistic works so much. the theme of wanting to be just socially acceptable enough to not burn out or be harassed is so relatable, and it visually establishes very early how jeremy is isolated from his peers due to his own awkward behavior and hypersensitivity. it’s coupled with his very obvious anxiety disorder, but the social aspect just screams autistic coding to me. i take this song to basically be “not having a meltdown is basically my goal but i would love to be neurotypical enough so i can heighten my standards and actually enjoy my social life.” some choice segments:

“if i’m not feeling weird or super strange, my life would be in utter disarray, cuz freaking out is my okay”

jeremy’s house being a mess is partly due to his dad’s serious depression, yeah, but i believe the other aspect is that jeremy’s executive dysfunction makes it just as hard to clean up in his place

he gets super anxious at the prospect of his expected routine being shaken up and having to make the decision on his own of how to get to school

“so i follow my own rules and i use them as my tools to stay alive” honestly sounds like a euphemism for autism to me

jeremy not really realizing that he’s staring at chloe

“avoiding any eye contact at all” explains itself

michael’s introduction, oh my god, every time i watch this part i just adore it. i could talk a lot more about michael’s autism later but this whole segment sells it especially.

first off, michael keeping his hood up and headphones on in a deliberate attempt to avoid social interaction and stay in his own space is such an autistic mood. even before this scene he’s constantly moving in the background to his music a la stimming. in the later performances he spends a lot more time playing with his hoodie strings and even chews on them!!

the fact he doesn’t talk to or even really look at jeremy until his song is done playing also feels very autistic to me! and the way he dances so confidently and basically pretends even his best friend isn’t there for the time being because he’s engrossed in his own passions.

michael is a great friend but it’s clear that he doesn’t really understand that his coping mechanism doesn’t really work for jeremy, and that even though michael feels confident reclaiming his identity as a ‘loser,’ jeremy doesn’t really feel any better about it. i think a lot of autistic folks, or at least i do, have this tendency to assume what works for us works for everyone around us at first due to our struggles with empathy. michael tries his best but struggles to see outside his point of view. it’s mind-blindness in action and jeremy can’t communicate why it upsets him any better than michael can pick up on it not working for him.

near the end of the song, they have a brief moment where all the ensemble crowds in around jeremy and the lights start flashing, which i interpret as a visual representation of sensory overload.

we’ll talk more about her soon, but outside of jeremy’s fantasies about her, christine also avoids social interaction during this number, constantly hiding her face in a book and avoiding eye contact just as much as jeremy. people forget that she’s not comfortable with unexpected social interaction, and that really informs my headcanon for her which brings us to....

“i love play rehearsal” is an autistic anthem. it also works, possibly even better due to in-text evidence, as an adhd anthem, but combined with the above it makes so much sense for her to be comorbid autism/adhd. i did a breakdown of the song in this context before, but i’ll sum it up here

the song showcases what having a special interest/hyperfixation is like. christine is singing to jeremy, yes, but she really seems so caught up in her own passion without much regard for how jeremy is following it, and even cuts him off from responding to her once or twice because she’s just so hyped up on her own feelings. she also basically implies her happiness is reliant on her special interest which is very relatable.

lines like “you follow a script so you know what comes next” also really sell the interpretation that christine isn’t good in unpredictable situations, and has so many identity issues and likes having something to look to where things are laid out for her. i think that stability is what a lot of autistic people look for, especially teenagers.

also with that in mind, look at how upset she gets watching a play she loves about get rewritten into something weird and new that she doesn’t know.

also gotta love how she still self-isolates before this song by focusing on her book, until she has a reason to infodump to jeremy. and then feels guilty afterwards and goes right back into her book while apologizing for getting “carried away”....biiiig mood there

the whole intro scene showcases both of their awkwardness so much. jeremy gets completely thrown off by her sarcastic comment about the swim team and almost believes it, which implies that he can’t read tone very well. and then christine’s “you’re a virgin” comment comes across like she really didn’t think about how that would sound to jeremy before saying it since she only made the clarification after he was ready to panic about it. she has a habit of speaking before she thinks, i think, the self-harm comment is also very awkward considering she barely knows jeremy.

after that scene we get “more than survive reprise” where jeremy admits to routinely having such bad breakdowns that he needs to step out and go to the nurse which works for both the anxiety disorder and the autism interpretation.

i’m not quite sure whether i see rich as autistic (i see him with a lot of mental issues for sure though) so i can’t say much on “the squip song” but there’s definitely something to describing a confused autistic kid as “almost helpless.” rich definitely has a habit of giving too much information though, i’ll say that.

“two player game” is just jeremy and michael being autistic solidarity: the song. i guess this is a good place to say that jeremy and michael work well as a contrast b/w two sides of autistic community, the side that struggles to function and desperately wants a change bc they’re afraid of being alone forever, and the side that tries to love all their symptoms and embrace their autistic pride. and as coincidental icing on the cake, jeremy wears blue (associated with the derogatory views from autism speaks) and michael wears red (associated with combating said views through autistic pride).

btw you could probably attribute michael’s ability to casually down a long-expired crystal pepsi as a sort of weird sensory quirk. and his fixation w/ that sort of memorabilia honestly feels like a special interest in its own right!

both “nice sideburns....wolverine, right” and “like in x-men????” using fiction as a reference point for real life always gives me autistic vibes (esp the first point where he awkwardly uses it to start conversation). can we assume x-men is a special interest? :3

jake referring to jeremy as a ‘freak’ when the squip turns on is really sad in this context but it also does make so much sense

now we get to the squip.....and what do you know, it uses tactics from abusive therapy used on autistic children. dare i say that “be more chill” as a song isn’t just an abuser’s song, but an ableist’s abuser’s song.

first off, the “spinal stimulation.” here’s a not so fun fact: electroshock therapy has been used to discourage autistic behavior in very recent years. (content warning in link for graphic description of ableist torture)

then the lyrics, in which the squip mostly focuses on jeremy’s posture and physically punishes him for disobeying. jeremy is shown to really struggle to stand up straight and pose himself in a normal, confident way, and i think that tendency to be unaware of what our body is doing is a pretty autistic thing?

the fact the squip singles out stammering and refers to jeremy’s “tics and fidgets” brings attention to two more autistic traits of jeremy’s

the squip basically punishes jeremy for responding “incorrectly” to social situations like rejecting brooke, even if they aren’t objectively wrong. it eventually just starts speaking for jeremy because jeremy seems incapable of acting natural. the squip is an abusive autism parent.

“sync up” demonstrates jeremy’s weird relationship with empathy. he wants to be nice to everyone- will has even called him “deeply empathetic”- but he’s initially really bad at seeing other people’s point of view, which is why he positions himself as sort of against the world, seeing everyone as better than him or trying to set up these barriers of Coolness where everyone else must be perfect compared to him. he’s so surprised to learn that the popular kids also hurt because of his strict idea of the social structure. it’s a combination of low self esteem and a black-and-white viewpoint.

let’s go back to christine. the squip, already established as ableist abuser, finds her “highly unusual” for acting in a way that disregards everyone who views her. she has very strange and specific visions in her head, and it seems very natural for her even if jeremy struggles to follow along.

in later performances, she chews on her sleeve and spins around during AGTIKBI. that’s stimming, babes. also gotta acknowledge “i don’t always relate to other people my age, except when i’m on the stage”

i’m gonna use this section to talk about jake and christine. christineis a bit unsure when interacting with jake, until he validates her interest- her acting is what really touches him. but jake, while good-hearted, has trouble being self-centered and thus not fully aware of christine’s own needs and space. so christine is always a little uncomfortable around him, especially in public, and not always willing to socialize. he is right about her being kind of stuck in her comfort zone, though, not doing anything off of her stage. and he is genuinely nice to her, it’s just a matter of their social strategies clashing.

the fact that the squip blocks out michael...i’ve had a lot of times in my life where i was told that socializing with other “weird” people would be counterproductive for my social development and it was part of why i was stuck with so few friends. so i really feel the idea that blocking out the person who helps you feel confident in your atypicality is framed as a good thing so you can act more socially adept, and that doing otherwise would just drag you both down.

hot DAMN does “loser geek whatever” make so much sense for an autistic kid with internalized ableism.

“it’s not only school that’s rough, being lonely’s stupid tough” makes it pretty clear this isn’t about the school social scene as muc as it is the entire social scene of the world. we may not see it, but it’s just (not) interacting with people in general that jeremy can’t stand.

“michael says that weird is rad but feeling weird just makes me sad” as stated above, makes a Lot More Sense with the idea that michael is both a more confident autistic and really bad at addressing jeremy’s own internalized ableism and desire to make connections outside his small friend group.

everything about jeremy boiling down all his problems to his “instincts” sucking and needing to basically be told what to do really highlights how autistic kids can feel broken because of their inability to fit into the social norm, to the point where we repress every behavior that actually makes us feel comfortable and unique. 

not to mention the line about him being seen as a “normal handsome guy” since autistic people tend to be infantilized and never seen as desirable (will roland also implied this line has trans coding which is another discussion altogether but i feel i should acknowledge that here)

all of those terms that jeremy calls himself near the end- namely weirdo, misfit, oddball, freak, failure- all of this sounds like the shit people throw at autistic kids. like this goes beyond anxiety alone, this is jeremy being outcasted and oppressed by the general public due to his behavior. especially the “please don’t speak” part, considering how often autistic kids are mocked for misunderstanding when to speak, how to speak, and what to talk about. jeremy needs some freaking love. :(

“michael in the bathroom” is a panic attack, related to severe anxiety, but i do see a lot of aspects that play into autism as well. the little nervous stimmy movements of foot-bouncing and picking at grout, the explosive sensory overload during the “knock knock” section of the bridge, the whole concept of losing the only person you ever managed to connect to without sacrificing who you are, dealing with this massive change to your sense of philosophy and reality where you pinned everything on one person to ground yourself, and thus you’re now completely lost trying to isolate yourself from this big overwhelming social gathering...neurodivergent anthem all around.

jeremy and christine’s couch interactions during halloween give me such autistic positivity. christine basically echolales jeremy’s weird noise and they both have so much fun vocal stimming that they forget there’s another person in the room. it’s such a sweet moment until jeremy ruins it by realizing that asking her out right after a breakup is Not Really Good For Her.

christine’s reaction to the fire demonstrates a clear case of hyperempathy to me. it isn’t discussed as much as a complete lack of empathy, but autistic folks are prone to feeling way too much especially when it comes to others’ pain. christine talking about how she hates that everyone’s hurting and desperately wants to help but doesn’t know how, and how we’ve already seen how much she struggles to connect with others like jake....it’s a very relatable, very specific autistic mood.

going back to the theme of jeremy and empathy, christine’s above hyperempathy kind of breaks this mold, and while jeremy always does feel for the other kids, by this point he feels so strongly- particularly for christine, who he also saw as a perfect confident being until now- that the squip can manipulate him into “fixing” everyone the same way the squip was supposed to “fix” him. and he never considers that christine doesn’t need to be fixed because he just projects his own insecurity that strongly onto everyone else who seems “weird” in the same kind of way- hence why he assumes michael is jealous of him back in MITB. it’s likely a result of the squip’s manipulation but i feel like mind-blindness is a factor, even if jeremy switches between struggling to process others’ emotions and being extremely empathetic.

michael’s special interest saves the day!!! :D

the whole fight b/w jeremy and michael, assuming it comes from a genuine place of repressed bitterness, has a lot of added subtext with them both being autistic. jeremy accusing michael of “giving up” on social interaction, michael envies jeremy for trying bc michael is clearly Not comfortable in most large social settings, jeremy envies michael for his pride, it just hits home for me i guess

rich calling michael “antisocial headphones kid” honestly how is michael not canon autistic

in the off-bway version michael briefly speaks too loud forgetting that jeremy’s head still hurts which is a relatable Forgot About Boundaries thing. plus him smacking rich playfully forgetting that rich is Still In Pain

“voices in my head” works nice as a fuck-societal-norms-and-just-be-happy song. “embrace the traits that make you so odd” in particular :’)

jeremy remembering christine’s infodump about her obscure bowling alley performance art idea and bringing it up to her again!!!

the squip doesn’t go away because ableism and the anxiety it brings and all the upsetting symptoms of autism don’t go away, but with the right support and confidence you can live with them!!! good message for mental disorders in general and works very well in this context!!!

so in conclusion.....be more chill is autistic pride!!!

[backtobasicbellas]

19 Amy x Hope? (you’re writing is great btw)

amy x hope + “I think I’m in love with you, and that scares the crap out of me”

word count: 1,906

//

Hope and Amy are not dating.

At least, that’s what Hope tells herself, even if she does get random, cryptic texts from Gigi asking how her favorite girlfriends are doing.

(Hope tells Gigi to fuck off - affectionately, of course.)

It’s not even like they’ve been in the same continent for the past year. After Hope’s backpacking trip, she packed her things from her childhood home and made her way to NYU for her freshman year all while Amy was in Botswana.

Though, Hope did visit her for three days. It was terribly awkward but probably the highlight of Hope’s trip all at the same time. They’re still new at this - whatever this is - and they aren’t sure what to do, almost like they’re hanging in limbo. But Amy is so god damn adorable, and the way she talks about her work as Hope all doe-eyed and soft.

(And yes, they get a re-do of that incident in Nick’s aunt’s bathroom.

It goes much more smoothly.)

But now Amy’s back in the states and starting her first year at Columbia. Columbia as in, the school that’s literally in the same city as Hope. It means many things, but most importantly it means that Amy will be here and not miles and miles away with the only thing keeping them together is texts and e-mails and social media.

And they’ve done a lot of that. Hope has never been one to be glued to her phone, but Amy has a funny way of bending Hope’s will without even knowing it.

“Are you going to see your girlfriend when she gets here?” Annabelle snickers when they grab lunch during her visit.

Hope glares at her. “She’s not my girlfriend.”

Annabelle gives her a shit-eating grin. “Keep lying to yourself, dude.”

“Asshole,” Hope scoffs.

“Seriously though,” Annabelle says. “Grow some balls and make her your girlfriend already. I have never seen you go soft for someone the way you do for Amy.”

“Fuck right off.”

“Remind me never to hang out with you again,” Annabelle says dryly, but the tease is evident in her eyes.

So Hope invites Amy to come over to her apartment she just moved into. It takes Hope a whole day and a half to actually text her - who is she anymore? - but Amy agrees almost immediately and they order Chinese takeout and listen to music and watch a couple of episodes of Parks and Rec - Amy’s choice, obviously (though Hope does like the show, secretly) - and it’s all good.

It’s on the third episode of Parks and Rec when Hope can feel Amy’s eyes on her and she turns.

“What?” she asks softly.

Amy blinks, realizing she’s been caught. She bites her lip in the most frustrating of ways to Hope because how does one action manage to be adorable and an absolute turn on at the same time?

“Nothing,” Amy stutters out, looking away for a moment before meeting Hope’s eyes again. “I just missed you.”

Hope’s emotions on the outside may be schooled, but for a moment she forgets how to breathe. She’s been falling over Amy for years, way before senior year, and here she is telling Hope that she missed her. She’s here, in Hope’s apartment, eating Chinese takeout and watching Netflix and there is no other place Hope would rather be.

It’s only natural that Hope gives her the smallest of smiles before she’s leaning in and capturing Amy’s lips against hers.

Later, when they are both naked and underneath the covers, Hope is stroking Amy’s hair as the smaller girl lets out a content sigh.

“Welcome to New York nerd,” Hope murmurs.

“What a welcome,” Amy smiles.

It makes Hope chuckles softly and she’s pulling Amy closer against her, arms wrapped around the other girl’s waist. Amy laughs softly, her forehead pressed against Hope’s shoulder.

As they fall asleep, one thing is clear: Hope is so completely, head over heels in love with Amy.

Which is why, after Hope drives her back to Columbia and kisses her goodbye the next morning, watching as Amy gives her that goofy smile and an awkward wave before walking away, she panics.

“Dude I don’t see what the problem is,” Annabelle says over the phone.

“What do I do?” Hope says in an irritated tone.

“Uh, I don’t know idiot, maybe tell her you’re in love with her?”

“Ugh.”

Annabelle proves useless so Hope hangs up without another word.

The thing is, Hope has never really been one for feeling things. She doesn’t do emotions, doesn’t really care for them.

Or other people.

So it’s clear why Amy is a whole situation she doesn’t think she can deal with.

Essentially, Hope goes ghost.

Amy’s texts go unanswered. The occasional phone call gets sent to voicemail. Hope gives into her schoolwork and film projects and only comes up for air when she’s in bed at night by herself and she still catches a whiff of Amy on her pillow.

It sucks, but Hope’s never been one to mope so she pushes forward and pretends she doesn’t give a shit.

It works for about a week, but then Hope is in the middle of putting a storyboard together when there’s a knock on her door.

Thinking it’s her pizza she ordered, she slides her headphones off and opens the door. It’s not her pizza; it’s Amy.

Even a week away from her has made her even more vivid and beautiful than Hope remembers. Amy stands on the other side of Hope’s door, looking like a mix of nervous and defiant. Hope recognizes it as the same way she looked in the bathroom at Nick’s aunt’s house, the night that started this whole turn of events.

“Amy,” she says, completely taken by surprise.

“You’ve been ignoring me,” Amy says, and her voice is even and not at all shaky and Hope has to admit it’s impressive.

“School,” Hope immediately replies. “I have so many film projects and-”

“Bullshit,” Amy cuts her off, a fire lit up in her eyes. “You went ghost for no reason, Hope.”

Hope looks at her a moment and then sighs. She knows better than to give a bullshit reason. She has always been an honest person, and she’s not going to let her feelings for Amy change that.

“Yeah fine,” she shrugs. “I stopped replying. So what?”

Amy scoffs, her emotions starting to surface as Hope recognizes the frustration and slight anger in her when she says, “You gave no reason! You invited me over, had sex with me, and dropped me off and said nothing. There was no warning!”

“Yeah well, that’s what going ghost means,” Hope tells her, and she can’t help the sarcastic draw in her tone, the way it sounds colder than she wants but it’s too late now.

Amy stares at her for a moment, and Hope knows her words stung. She wants to take it back, to apologize, but before she can even open her mouth to attempt to back track, Amy speaks again.

“So that was your plan then?” Amy asks, growing angrier with each sentence. “Was your plan? To -what, screw me one more time before you just never talked to me again?”

“Amy-” Hope tries, but it’s clear the smaller girl is not having it from her.

“I thought you were better than that, Hope,” she says, and the emotions are starting to boil over. Hope can tell because her voice starts to shake, but it’s clear Amy will not stop and let herself cry.

“The whole time I was in Botswana, I couldn’t stop thinking about you. All I wanted to do was talk to you all the time. And i thought, with how we were, you wanted the same. I wanted you, Hope. I want you. You don’t know how badly I wanted to see you. And then I get here, and we have literally one of the best nights of my life, and then you pull this shit?”

Amy scoffs.

“I thought you were a bitch in high school, but this is a knew low.”

The way Amy is looking at her makes Hope feel like an absolute piece of shit. It’s clear she is no longer the same meek, mild-tempered Amy she used to be. Hope had expected her to just let it go, to be too afraid to talk about it, too afraid to piss off Hope.

She’d gotten it all wrong.

Amy breathes heavily, her eyes never leaving Hope’s. There’s a palpable tension between them now, Hope can feel it. It’s making her anxious.

“You wanna know why I ghosted you?” she asks, voice level.

“Yes,” Amy replies immediately.

Hope braces herself; she’s never been good with emotions, but she’ll try for Amy.

Amy, who literally showed up at her apartment to yell at her and tell her off.

“I think I’m in love with you, and that scares the crap out of me.”

She says it in a quieter voice, much quieter than Amy and quieter than she’d just been. Her own voice breaks just a little, and though Hope knows she won’t cry, it’s a new level of vulnerability for her.

The confession stuns Amy, whose expression goes from angry to jaw slacked, blinking like an owl at Hope.

“W-what?” Amy asks, unsure if she’s heard right.

Hope shakes her head. “I’ve never been good at emotions, Amy - don’t know if I ever will be. So the fact I’m in love with you is absolutely terrifying. What am I - what am I supposed to do?”

“You could have talked to me,” Amy offers, voice softer now.

Hope scoffs, shaking her head. “You know how I am. And, we haven’t really been together. You were in Botswana for a whole year. I didn’t want to like, scare you off or something.”

A smile cracks on Amy’s face as she takes a step closer to Hope.

“You and your big, bad persona haven’t scared me yet,” Amy tells her.

Hope tries not to smile. She’s unsure what to do with herself now, having just put herself out there like that. She tries not to think about how Amy hasn’t said it back yet.

“Well that’s good to know,” Hope deadpans, giving an uncomfortable chuckle.

Amy is full out grinning now, eyes lit up in a way Hope doesn’t understand just yet. It makes Hope uncomfortable, the way Amy isn’t revealing all her cards.

“So,” Hope clears her throat. “Is there um, anything else you need or-”

“You ghosted me because you’re in love with me,” Amy repeats, that grin still on her face.

Hope tries not to cringe at the statement; she hates being the vulnerable one here.

“Yes we established that,” Hope confirms. “Can we really just not do-”

She doesn’t get to finish her sentence because Amy is tugging her down and meeting her lips for a soft kiss. It’s nothing spectacular, but Hope would be lying if she said she hasn’t been thinking about kissing Amy for the past week.

Amy pulls away after only a moment and says with a smile, “I think I’m in love with you too.”

Hope doesn’t stop the dumb smile on her face. “Yeah?”

“Yeah.”

“Good,” Hope hums before she’s tugging Amy into her apartment and shutting the door.

Amy laughs before she’s being kissed senseless by Hope.

[murumokirby360]

My Redragon Hylas (H260) Gaming Headset Review (w/ my Paper Dolls) - Part 1 [Jan 18th, 2023]

Hello! 2023 has already arrived, and I'm starting off with this new gaming headset from Christmas of 2022 (gifted by my lil' brother). 🎄🎁 Pls watch my recorded video. ↑🎦📲

So, here's Part 1 of my Redragon Hylas (H260) gaming headset (featuring my paper dolls). 🎮🎧😊

So, without further ado, let's get started:

1st to 3rd Image(s): ↑

• Here's the box itself. Nothing much to say, but some promising pictures of the inside item, as well as some information & specs about the Hylas gaming headset. 📦🙂 Are you excited to reveal the main item, you two? Then, let's not waste our time! 😁

BTW: You can zoom in on the 2nd image if you want to dive & read the information you need. 📰🔍

4th & 5th Image(s): ↑

• Inside the box are three accessories. Including, a fold user manual, an audio adapter cable, and a sheet of Redragon stickers. The latter, I don't usually use stickers. But, on the bright side, that audio adapter cable is very useful for my single audio jack devices (e.g. smartphone, MP3 player, etc.) Right, you two? Yeah. 🙂

6th to 8th image(s): ↑

• Finally, the main item of the show! The Redragon Hylas gaming headset! Man, it looks pretty neat in white color. However, the black could be better, although my Lil brother said "they all ran out of stock at the gaming store". Mmmm, It's alright. After all, I've already got the black color in a form of a Redragon keyboard (Rudra K565R [CLICK ME!]), so why not add a white gaming accessory to the mix, huh? 🙂

• [8th Image] My paper dolls here are trying to fit in with my new gaming headset. Unfortunately, Chowder went crumble & he hurt himself in a uncomfortable sandwich between Panini & the right earmuff. I guess, they're too tight for them... Hehe.😅

9th to 18th Image(s): ↑

• Now, that my paper dolls are out of away, let's dive in some anatomy of my new gaming headset.

• [9th to 15th Images] The construction itself we're made in cheap plastic material, which gives this a budget line-up PC peripheral. From the microphone piece (which is short) to soft cushion earmuffs & headband (which are soft & easy to press w/ my fingers. Plus, the "Redragon" logo on top of the cushion headband), to the adjustable headbands are also made in cheap plastic instead of a piece of metal material.

• [16th Image] By far, my favorite feature is the built-in cable (measuring up to 6-foot) was made in nylon braided material for anti-bend & anti-tangle features, plus a velcro cable strap for adjusting. If only this gaming headset will be a detachable cable instead of the opposite. Then again, I'm not gonna use it for my outside purposes, so my gaming headset remains at home. 🏠🖥️🎧

• [17th & 18th Images] And let's not forget the audio cables (color green for sound & color pink for microphone) & one USB type-A. Which are gold-plated, by the way. The latter of whom for the RGB light, which I'll show to you, in Part 2. Plus, I REALLY do appreciate that they include USB & audio jack cap protectors to prevent corrosion. And when I'm done using my Redragon headset, I could plug it in w/ two aforementioned caps & then tie it up with the velcro cable strap for a clean approach. 🎧🧹😊

19th to 24th Image(s): ↑

• Alright, let's have some comparison. I have my current wireless headset, the ZNT Soundfit. Between the size & style, they're completely differ w/ opposite ways.

BTW #2: Pls ignore the tear cushions of my current ZNT headphones. We've all been there when it comes to wearing headphones on our daily basis.

25th Image: ↑

• Looks like they prefer my current ZNT headphones over my new Redragon gaming headset, considering they're snug together without a single hurt while listing some (Lo-Fi) music. Good for them! 😊🎧🎵

No overall thoughts this time around, and please proceed to "Part 2" by [CLICK ME!].

Well, that's all for now. If you want to see my REAL top 5 rank “Year in Review” post, then please [CLICK ME!].😉

Tagged: @lordromulus90, @leapant

[imaginedisish]

Bizarre Love Triangle, Chapter 1 (Bandersnatch) (Colin Ritman x Reader) (Stefan Butler x Reader)

|Chapter 2|

A/N: Heyyyy guys!!! Sorry this took so long to get up! I hope you enjoy my FIRST MULTI CHAPTER FIC!!!! It’s based on two anon requests, one regarding Stefan x Colin x Reader, and another about Colin and the reader working for Tuckersoft and falling for each other. To those two anons, I hope this satisfies your requests :) The title is based on the New Order song of the same name, btws... Okay, that’s all! Thanks guys! Enjoy! Get ready for one hell of a bizarre love triangle... 

Summary: You and Colin are best friends, and have been for quite some time. One day, he introduces you to Stefan Butler, and you immediately fall for the emerald eyed boy. However, Colin quickly becomes jealous, and drama ensues...

Warnings: Maybe some language, mega canon divergence, jealous!Colin. That’s it for now...(smut will happen later y'all so just be ready for that) 

Word Count: 2,224 :)

Sunlight creeps through your curtains, the rays stretching their glowing arms across your bed, brushing against your face. You eyes reluctantly open, and you turn over in your warm bed. You look over to the clock. 

7:29 am, it reads.

“Dammit,” you sigh, pushing yourself to sit up. Suddenly, your alarm starts blaring throughout your flat. You groan in annoyance. 

I know when to go out, know when to stay in, get things done, David Bowie sings “Modern Love” from the little clock on your nightstand. You can’t help but dance along. 

“Never gonna fall for! Modern Love! Walks beside me!” You sing along with the song cheerfully, until you hear a knock at the door. You assume it’s just the neighbors complaining about the noise. You trod over to the front door, and open it hesitantly. 

To your surprise, it isn’t the neighbors. A smile stretches across your face.

“Colin!” You wrap your arms around the pretentious blonde boy, and he lets out a small chuckle. 

“You’re chipper this morning,” He says, beaming. You giggle as he hands you a cup of coffee. You open the door all the way, and motion for him to come in. He does so, and you shut the door behind him. 

David Bowie’s voice still rings throughout the flat as you pull out a chair from your kitchen table. Colin does the same, sitting across from you. 

“Thanks for the coffee,” You say, and Colin nods in response. You and Colin were best friends. You had been through grade school with each other, then high school, and even college. You two faced every hardship and challenge life threw at you together. You held his hand when Kitty left him, and when she took Pearl with her. He refused to leave your side when your mother passed away, when it felt like your life was falling apart. You told each other everything, and you wouldn’t want it any other way. 

Now you two worked as game designers at Tuckersoft, an up-and-coming video game studio. Your coworkers had a bad habit of putting Colin on a pedestal, never telling him the truth or their honest opinions on what it was that he created. The other women working in your office were either head over heels in love with him, or incredibly intimidated by him. The men who worked in your office either wanted to be him, or be liked by him. 

You, however, made sure to tell him the truth. It was almost your responsibility to deflate his ego every now and again. You weren’t intimidated by his abilities, nor would you ever let how you feel about him get in the way of work. You cared about him too much to allow a game of his to flop, so you always gave him your honest opinion on everything he produced, and he always listened. 

“Oh, I forgot something!” Colin says as he reaches into his army green messenger bag. He pulls out a plastic bag. “I picked this up for you.” Colin smiles, passing the plastic bag over to you. 

“You didn’t have to do this,” You say, your gaze meeting Colin’s deep blue stare. 

“Go on, open it.” Colin beams up at you. You smile back, opening the bag, the plastic crinkling under your touch.

You’re shocked as you pull out a first edition copy of The Bell Jar by Sylvia Plath, and Transformer by Lou Reed on vinyl. The Bell Jar was one of your favorite novels, since you fell in love with Sylvia Plath in high school, and you had been searching for Transformer for months. Unfortunately, you failed to find it each and every time you and Colin went out to search in the shops. You were amazed to say the least. 

“C-colin, h-how…” You trail off, still in awe at Colin’ gift. 

“The Lou Reed is first edition too,” Colin says, pointing to the record in your hand. Your jaw drops. “That was a part of the first batch to be pressed.” He adjusts his silver glasses nonchalantly, sitting back in his seat. 

“Colin this is incredible. You really shouldn’t have done this. I mean it must have cost you a for-,” Colin cuts you off. 

“Don’t worry about cost.” Colin stands up from his seat. “Drinks at the pub after work? I want you to meet a new friend of mine.” 

“Yeah, sounds good,” you say, standing up as well. Colin walks over to the front door. 

“See you at work,” Colin says, giving you a two finger salute from his forehead with one hand, his other on the door knob. You smile, waving goodbye as he walks out. 

The day goes by relatively quickly. Still, you count the hours until you get to leave, looking at the clock every five minutes, expecting an hour to go by each time you take a glance. 

Finally, five o’clock hits. You gather your things, and head over to Colin’s cubicle. 

You reach his cubicle, but Colin is nowhere to be seen. His things are gone, and his computer is off. You assume he left early, and was most likely already at the pub. You make your way out of Tuckersoft, and onto the streets of South London. 

You put your headphones on as you walk down the street, Panic by The Smiths masking the chaotic noise of the city. 

After a short walk, you approach the pub. You take your headphones off, and place them in your brown messenger bag as you pull open the door to the pub. 

A head of spiky blonde hair immediately catches your eyes across the bar, and you walk over to him.

“There she is! The woman of the hour!” Colin says cheerfully, a beer in his hand. You can’t help but let out a small laugh. 

“So who am I meeting, this evening?” You ask, a smile plastered across your face. Colin puts his beer down. 

“My friend, Stefan. He works for Tuckersoft now. He’s that kid producing his own game at home,” Colin states matter of factly. You nod your head. “Here he is now! Stefan!” Colin stands up, waving to someone behind you. You turn around. 

His eyes glow in the dimly lit pub. It’s almost as if they were carefully crafted with millions of emerald gems. His brown hair his a cute, fluffy mess. His pale, thin, red lips curl into a small smile. He nervously waves, and makes his way towards you and Colin. 

“You didn’t say how cute he was, Colin!” You jokingly punching the blonde boy across the shoulder. 

“Hey, that hurt! You better watch yourself, (Y/L/N),” Colin says, making the I’m Watching You, gesture with his hands. Stefan finally reaches where you and Colin are. “Hello, whizkid!” Colin pats him on the back. 

“Hi, I’m (Y/N), Colin’s friend,” You say, extending a hand out towards Stefan. 

“I’m Stefan,” he says, accepting the gesture, taking your hand in his. “Colin has told me a lot about you.”

“Likewise.” You smile at him, hesitantly releasing Stefan’s hand from yours. “So how come I don’t see you around the office?”

“I w-work from home. I prefer working alone,” Stefan says, his eyes still shining brightly. 

“I think I’d drive myself insane working at home,” You say back, giggling slightly. 

“Music and books tend to keep me sane,” Stefan says, a shy smile slowly spreading across his face. 

“What do you listen to? Any favorite authors?” You ask. 

“I like Frankie Goes to Hollywood quite a bit, Talking Heads as well. I love Bowie, though. And of course The Beatles, Lou Reed,” He pauses. You can’t help but grin. He likes exactly what you like. “My favorite novel is probably Bandersnatch by Jerome F. Davies. That’s actually what I’m basing by video game off of. It’s a chose your own adventure.”

“That’s amazing! Davies was a genius,” You say back to the fluffy haired boy. 

“He really was! Well enough about me, what about you?” He says, his shyness fading away. 

You talk about Joy Division, The Cure, The Smiths, Queen, Sylvia Plath, J.D Salinger, Ernest Hemingway, and more. Everything you say, he agrees with. Everything he says, you agree with. You two were really hitting it off. 

Colin wasn’t saying much. His lips practically never left his drink. And when they did, it was simply to ask for another. 

“I’ll be right back, going to hit the washroom,” Stefan says. You nod, and turn back to Colin. 

“Are you alright?” You ask Colin. He turns to face you. 

“I’m fine,” He says harshly, turning his head forward again. 

“D-do you know if…” You trail off. “If Stefan is single?” You say finally. Colin whips his head back towards you. 

“What? Whizkid? No way. You’re not actually into him, are you?” Colin says, anger in his voice. You’re confused as you search Colin’s eyes for some sort of explanation to his rash behavior. 

“Why are you acting like this?” You question, annoyed by Colin’s reaction. Colin shakes his head in disapproval.

“He’s single, sure, fine, whatever,” He says, his cheeks becoming extremely red. You don’t understand what the problem is. Colin introduced you to Stefan, so what was the big deal? 

“Did I do something?” You ask Colin. You and Colin never fought. He never once treated you like this. You were extremely taken back. You frown, upset. Colin recognizes the sadness in your face. 

“No, no. I-I’m sorry,” He says, trailing off. Colin fiddles with his beer, and turns his head back to face the barkeep. “Another, round, mate.”

You see Stefan walking back towards the bar. A few seconds later, he reaches you and Colin, but doesn’t sit down. 

“It’s getting late, I think I’m going to head out,” Stefan says apologetically. You hear Colin mumble a finally, from behind you. 

“It was great to meet you,” You say, smiling. “But don’t go just yet, I have something to give you.” You grab a napkin from the holder in front of you, and you reach into your messenger bag in search of a pen. You quickly write a set of numbers on the napkin, handing the paper to Stefan once you’re done. “This is my phone number, call me.”

Stefan takes the napkin from your hand, beaming with joy. “Y-yes, t-totally. I-I w-will,” He stutters. Stefan says goodnight, waves, and walks away. 

“Y-yes, t-totally. I-I w-will,” Colin mocks as the fluffy haired boy walks out of the pub. 

“Colin, come on. I thought he was your friend. Aren’t you two close?” You question curiously. 

“Well I’m not the biggest fan of my two closest friends leaving me to be a third wheel,” Colin states, annoyed. There was a certain nervousness in his voice that you hadn’t ever heard before. It was almost as if Colin was lying to you. You knew he wasn’t telling you the complete truth. 

“Are you sure that’s it?” You ask, expecting him to say something more. 

“Yep. Now can we get out of here?” Colin puts 15 pounds on the bar top, and hops off the stool he was sitting on. “I’ll walk you home.” 

The walk home was quiet. Colin usually had something to talk about, but not tonight. After a few minutes, you reach your building. 

“Thanks for walking me home, Colin,” You say, smiling slightly. Colin steps forward, wrapping his arms around you. 

“Anytime,” Colin says into your neck, sending chills down your spine. This wasn’t like him. Something was up. You pull apart from his embrace. 

“Get some sleep, okay?” You say to him. He nods in response. He must’ve just drank too much, You think to yourself.

“Goodnight, (Y/L/N),” Colin says, walking away.

“Goodnight, Ritman,” You shout. You make your way into your building and up to your flat, unlocking the door and stepping inside. 

The minute you pass through the doorway, your phone begins to ring. You walk over, picking it up. 

Who could be calling so late? You think to yourself.

“Hello?” 

“H-hi, (Y/N)?”

“Stefan!” You can’t help but smile. 

“I-I h-hope it isn’t t-too l-late,” He stutters nervously. 

“No, not at all. What’s up?” You ask, your smile growing wider. 

“W-well, I-I was wondering if you,” He pauses. “I-if you w-wanted t-to go on a d-date sometime time?” You eyes light up with excitement. 

“Yes!” You practically scream. “I’d love to!”

“Does tomorrow at six work for you?” Stefan asks, no longer stuttering, his nervousness fading away. 

“Yes, that’s perfect, more than perfect, even!” Your heart flutters in your chest. 

“Great. I’ll pick you up at six tomorrow,” He says, excitement in his voice. You give him your address, and solidify the plans. You say goodnight, and hang up the phone. 

Then, your mind lands on Colin. Let’s just hope he doesn’t freak out too much, You think to yourself. How on earth am I supposed to tell him about this?

You try not to think about Colin’s opposition to your newfound relationship as you get yourself ready for bed. 

You were going on a date with Stefan tomorrow, and that was all that mattered.