#sorta? kinda. its got implications...i guess...

[sorunort]

(You are bound to the Universe's will the same way the moon is bound to this planet, the same way the planet is bound to the sun, the same way a puppet is bound it's strings!!!!!!)

top ten pieces of dialogue ive screencapped because of how normal it is and how normal it made me feel

[ecto-hazard]

I just rewatched ii s1 (fucked up right?)

im just gonna make a post compiling some barebones concepts that im curious about. cause with the latest reveal, im wondering how much previous stuff might become relevant.

Obviously this was made years ago by a bunch of kids so its possible that most of the details can be disregarded as random bullshit. It does seem like they put a lot of work in creating retcons though so I have reason to believe theyre building off their previous work on purpose but i could be wrong and thats fair. im gonna post about it anyway tho

ii16 spoilers discussed under the cut

Who Mephone created (or rather, didn't create)

Mephone supposedly made every contestant for the show, but there's a couple vague characters.

Fan: weirdly enough he's in a gray area cause he appears as a background character before s2, but he also glitched out in that one episode, so its unlikely he wasnt created by Mephone. But yknow.

Apple: Apple is a fan character who was submitted to the show, and this is addressed in canon. It's possible that mephone made her and the other fan contestants based on whatever the submitters asked?

Bow: she randomly shows up after an ad read. Mephone doesnt seem to even want her to join, but he receives a call from Adam to insist she join. Mephone seems quite resistant to the idea (which would be weird if he made her?) Most interestingly, she's the only one in this list that Mephone couldn't recover.

Dough MIGHT be one mephone didnt create, but it seems pretty likely that Mephone would create him as he was specifically requested by adam to get bow back. Dough does seem like something he'd throw together really quickly to cover his ass

The reason any of this could be relevant is that if they arent created by Mephone, they probably cant be deleted by Cobs.

Adam

Stuff about Adam (the character not the guy) has been kinda quiet lately? He was supposedly the producer of ii, and pays mephone apparently? He clearly has a role to play since he showed up in one of Mephone's memories and seems to be a creation by cobs. So observing his actions in s1 might be valuable, especially since cobs would be able to manipulate the show through him.

Some notable actions of his:

Insisting on Bow being in the show. This is doubly interesting if Bow isn't one of Mephone's creations. She could be an industry plant of some kind?

Telling Mephone to keep 4S out of the season finale. This is supposedly to keep the finale from going crazy. If Mephone had been successful, he wouldve been killed by Mephone 5. Its possible this was on purpose so 4 could be destroyed and replaced

Investing in another season. at the end of s2, despite things going wrong, he tells Mephone they're going to do another season. He sweetens the deal by offering a raise and agreeing to get Mephone an assistant (Toilet). Cobs clearly got invested in this show, so it makes sense he'd encourage more of it from the shadows.

Mephone 4S

Yeah talking about 4S isn't anything new, the fandom's obsessed with him. I am too.

The implications of Mephone4 being in 4S's body never really got explored in s2. I guess they were similar enough that it didn't really matter. But he clearly still has some relevance in the modern series. One of Mephone's memories shows him getting developed as a replacement for 4, and he actually appears in Invitational, Sorta? Clearly Mephone's bothered by the sacrifice he made.

At the very least, the show's reminding us that he existed, so maybe he still does exist? I don't think he's going to necessarily make a comeback or anything but I dunno. It seems like he might be able to talk to Mephone in his head so maybe there's something to that.

Evil Paper

Im just gonna be upfront that I don't have a dissociative disorder and its not my place to talk about how it works or what is good or bad representation so I'm not gonna get super deep into talking about this. I'm just curious if the team has any plans for addressing Evil Paper. They seemed to make an effort into writing Yin Yang more thoughtfully (whether or not they actually succeeded, again, not my say). I could see them giving Paper similar treatment. If they did I doubt it'd be very plot relevant though.

Is the Taco we got the Taco we were supposed to have?

I've actually seen this conversation circulate a little bit already. This sort of debate could apply to any character really, but Taco is perhaps the most interesting example because she's so involved in the latest episodes AND because Brian actually addressed a tweet about this.

Taco behaves like a goofy idiot for the majority of s1, only revealing at the end that she was faking it so she would make it to the end. She specifically says she was "built to win" (the quote Brian addresses), and shows a much more competent side when she actually competes. In fact if it weren't for Bow's interference, Taco would have won the challenge (another case of Bow being weird).

This all seems to imply that Taco may have been intended to win the series by Mephone. Cobs points out to Suitcase and Knife that Mephone had "high hopes" for them, so it's not unreasonable to say that maybe certain characters were liked over others. Mephone never seems to give special treatment openly, but that doesn't mean that when he made certain contestants he didn't at the very least expect them to do well.

What is highly unlikely though is that Taco was created to be a twist villain. This results in Mephone's death after all (though the activity of Bow and Mephone 5 also could be to blame). Especially since he had pressure from Adam to keep things running smoothly, it just wouldn't make sense that Mephone would specifically create someone to toss a wrench in things. Most likely Taco developed like this on her own accord.

But that also raises the question, if she wasn't meant to be a villain, what was she supposed to be? How much of the taco we have now is the Taco that Mephone created? We don't actually see how he reacts to her "reveal" because he's in the middle of running away from 5. But everyone else clearly never saw it coming. OJ specifically comments that this doesn't seem like "the Taco he's been competing with all this time," and while that's written in reference to her reveal, it also could mean she WASNT the Taco he'd been competing with. We do get a hint or two of her true self in previous episodes, but its possible she wasn't ever supposed to be like that.

I think its possible Mephone4 created her as a goofy goober joke character initially, and over time, she changed. She developed into a more tactful and villainous character with her exposure to the contest.

A few things in the most recent episodes might allude to this. One thing being how in ii15 she discusses how she became aware of how much the contest is changing everyone, herself included. Secondly, in ii16 she tells Pickle that at the time she didn't consider how her actions were going to hurt him. This is a really shitty apology and no excuse for it, but it ALSO could mean that at the time, Taco really didn't think about it. In S1, she claims that she was just using him, but we don't know how aware of herself she was back then. Its possible that there was a past version of Taco who wasn't deadset on winning no matter the cost, and being in the game changed her.

Anyway these have been my slopthoughts. It's like 9 pm and ive been writing this for like an hour. Maybe most of this wont get addressed at all in the series, but I figured i might as well compile it down since I just finished s1

[jeweledstone]

The Labyrinth-verse aka In which my Peppino plush goes through a several dream long character arc that has a lotta bizarre and kinda disturbing implications

DATE(S) FORGOTTEN

Okay, for context, here’s a pic of the boi, he exists, I bought him off of Fangamer a few whiles back, look at him.

He didn’t have the ribbon on his hat during the events of these dreams tho, that’s a more recent edition.

Now onto the dreams and stuff.

This…”series” takes place over 4 or 5 different dreams and takes place in a universe I’ve come to call “The Labyrinthverse”, named after a backrooms like area that was in said verse called The Labyrinth. There were many entrances to The Labyrinth hidden in multiple locations around that specific part of the universe I was in, the first of which was found in a fancy restaurant I went to with my dad in the first dream (which was the only Labyrinth dream that didn’t have Pep in it, mostly cause I didn’t have him yet at that time.)

The Labyrinth itself was made up of many levels full of these zombie-like people who would try to attack you if they found you, with said zombies becoming more dangerous the deeper in you got. Luckily, you could also find various weapons and resources in The Labyrinth that could help you survive, and maybe even escape.

For some reason a lotta people in that verse would actively seek out the entrances to it for reasons I still am not sure of. Maybe they believe some sort of treasure or reward laid in its depths, or perhaps they just did it for the thrill of it all.

Anyway, going back to the plot summary bullshit. A few months or something after this first dream when my Peppino plush was still new to my plushie hoard (as well as the whole traveling with me to other universes via my dreams thing, which he was at first a little reluctant towards but soon warmed up to). This was when I found another entrance to The Labyrinth inside a dying mall. I remember Pep being extremely anxious about being in The Labyrinth and wanting to leave as soon as possible. I remember there were these unreasonably complex puzzles that were blocking our only way out and having to use my reality warping powers to solve them. (Would’ve taken hours to finish them the “vanilla” way and ain’t nobody got time for that)

It was around then when we encountered these two women who turned out to be the kinda-sorta “final bosses” of the Labyrinth who basically controlled the entire place. I guess something about me “solving” the puzzle so quickly got there attention, cause usually you can only find the controllers at the very depths of the Labyrinth, which looks like a combination of a theatre and Hell itself.

And to make a long story short, this ritual of sorts ended up happening that created these fucked up clones of me and my Peppino plush called Bent!Neo and Bent!Peppino who ended up becoming the new “rulers” of The Labyrinth.

Idk why or what my reasoning it was for it, but for the rest of the Labyrinth Arc my goal was basically to find my way back to the very bottom of the Labyrinth and kill Bent!Neo. I think it was cause I thought doing that would destroy the Labyrinth, thus freeing anyone trapped in it but I’m not quite sure.

I remember that a few dreams later in the series, my Peppino plush’s soul ended up getting “stuck” inside the Labyrinthverse and I ended up having to go back to sleep to retrieve him. During this dream, Bent!Peppino started helping me behind Bent!Neo’s back, telling me where my Pepp was and helping me find him so he could “go home” so to speak. The reason for this was because while the Bent versions of us were in control of the Labyrinth, Bent!Pepp began to remember things.

Things that definitely weren’t from the Pizza Tower verse.

Things… from a past life in the verse The Labyrinth is in.

Turns out that (according to the dreams I had) before my Peppino plush existed, his… soul? Consciousness? Existed as the spirit of this guy who lived in the Labyrinthverse and ended up dying and eventually “possessing” the plush, thus giving Pepp sentience. Apparently the reason Bent!Pepp was able to learn this before the regular Pepp did was because his former self’s SON, named Benny ended up in the Labyrinth, where I guess they somehow crossed paths, thus causing him to remember his past life.

Bent!Peppino insisted on helping me defeat Bent!Neo as long as I promised to help my Peppino remember who he used to be and also make sure Benny would make it out of the Labyrinth alive.

It all reached a climax when I ended up teaming up with Benny and basically defeating Bent!Neo once and for all. Because of this, the Labyrinth was put into a dormant state of sorts, regular Peppino finally remembers his past life, and blah blah blah happy ending, you get it. For some reason, even though Bent!Neo and the Labyrinth were gone, Bent!Peppino was still around, and ended up deciding to stay in that verse with his kid.

For a while, that seemed to be the end of The Labyrinth arc and my journeys in it, until a more recent dream where I ended up back in that verse. Turned out, Bent!Neo wasn’t completely destroyed in that final battle, but instead was now left as an unstable blob of sorts, hellbent on getting their revenge against me. Luckily for me, I haven’t seen anything of him or that verse since then, so I guess that’s all she wrote so to speak.

But yeah, that’s all I have to say. I procrastinated on finishing the draft of this post WAY TOO HARD so it’s now been months since this arc of my dreams has ended. Hopefully y’all still enjoyed it nonetheless! :)

I have a bit more dream lore stuff to catch y’all up on, so be sure to stay tuned for more of this in the future if you enjoyed this little rambling

[narwhalandchill]

also finished the 4.7 AQ and like . well firstly rip to all the sinner theories where it was like could it be nibelung or someone else and all like that was a bit tragic but thats the nature of theories i suppose. i do think it makes sense that the bigger players arent just all going to be figures we Already know of but yea.

overall i think it was like. quite good but also kinda suffers from the way these quests just Have to be an annual thing especially with how short it was? i saw a comment being like this feels like it shouldve been the epilogue to caribert and i kinda agree . also as much as it is appreciated that we Do get some direct answers to big lore questions in the quest was kind of a exposition dump in that sense . fade to black w the abyss sib and dain duel was certainly a Choice 💀

caribert truly is a sweetheart man i didnt expect him to pop up but i feel so bad for him now. except for the loomzoning atossa thing i get that he had no choice on the matter but that was rough for ur girl 😭😭

iiiiiii dunno how to feel about the whole we forget all about the reunion anyway when traveler Remembering as a descender has been established as such a core thing like it kinda feels like a copout im ngl . guess we are just now . aware of information as players that the traveler is not privy to . considering im already more than a little wary towards the general concept of like. memory erasure slash irminsul stuff when it comes to genshins writing im definitely feeling conflicted w this . also applies to the loom of fate editing reality thing . like okay on some level yes it is cool to include such prevalent elements of like. uncertainty and unreliable narration but in worst case those concepts are also v easy for a careless writing team to just. run off w and end up w a convoluted mess so i rly rly hope that wont end up the case

anyway. so the sinners are the big deal this time around i suppose and like. not that i wasnt necessarily expecting surtalogi to indeed be khaenriahn but the confirmation is certainly here now. no particular feelings on this from me im afraid bc like. Highly unpopular lore thing from me but both khaenriah n hexenzirkel (the latter more so than former) are kinda these. big lore topics and entities that i logically Do know and acknowledge as the massive deals they are to the story. but they just arent sth i have so far gotten that invested in altho khaenriah i have somewhat warmed up to . hexenzirkel still feels too much like an unnecessary presence to me lmao i might be missing out on stuff but if the abyss order arguably has a lack of story presence issue then the witches have it like 5 times worse 💀 But point being surtalogi being part of this whole crew of transcendent beings from khaenriah that became sinners is like . okay then isiskskskdk its not that big a deal for me

i think the most meaningful implications from that (in terms of My personal lore fixations at least *cough*) just have to do w like . sth id already been thinking about even before we got the confirmation of the visionary as the sinner that clothar found (which was a big theory anyway that i did personally find very compelling and well its canon now). and that is just the way that like . when skirk compared surtalogi as one in pursuit of "perfection" and brought up the visionary and rhinedottir as two ppl akin to him. that and the narzissenkreuz note about primordial human essentially being the synonym for descenders . & how rhines magnum opus was the primordial human PROJECT aka in light of this note. Very likely to be an attempt at Creating a descender . and how the sinners and abyss orders loom of fate is obviously just another pathway into accessing some sorta will or way to rival the world and defy the heavenly principles . became this thing where i was like 90% convinced and now 100% convinced that if the "perfection" both gold and the visionary pursue is indeed a descenders will in one form or another . then surtalogis aims Must involve the same fucking thing

which naturally gets us back to the insane ajax theory territory bc . if what connects those 3 (and post 4.7 more like. All the transcendent sinners from khaenriah) is getting to that world rivaling will. Then it sure fucking makes Everything surtalogi is doing and planning w both the narwhal and ajax Very Interesting . like it sure is curious that These would be the things surtalogi is occupying himself with if its indeed a descender he seeks . so like . Yeah we dont need to get into 3rd descender stuff but one thing i sure do think is becoming less and less like crackpot speculation and more and more and explicitly foreshadowed future direction for childes arc is that. one way or another. he is going to be involved with the subject of becoming a descender . bc like. if gold tried creating one w alchemy. and if the visionary is Literally creating a loom of fate to serve as the machine capable of weaving a worlds worth of leylines and destiny aka just a descender equivalent machine . then it sure wouldnt make sense for surtalogi to be putting all this heavy effort and resources (as skirk commented on) towards acquiring and possibly subduing an interstellar voyager like the narwhal and getting his student to look for and train the weird kid with a possibly innate connection w it. Without that serving a role in His brand of descender equivalency that hes seeking as a sinner. So yeah childe long term relevance stocks are definitely up w this one guys Trust

but yea thats on surtalogi for me . Point being its not rly a New suspicion for me (like ever since primordial human project started sounding like DIY descender lab project i was thinking this) but i think its been absolutely further affirmed by directly linking surtalogi to the sinners of khaenriah that more likely than not seem like theyre All going to be ppl who used the abyss to seek the power of a descender in a variety of ways???? so thats very neat . wonder who the other 2 will turn out to be then .

another thing to do w the sinners is also like. the way that if we do count dainsleif among them just as one that Didnt jusr abandon the ppl during the cataclysm . there is obviously that doomed number of Six there . so like pygmy theories have been going wild already in the few days it took me to catch up w the AQ but im just kinda . i Still think pale princess is most likely to be about an irminsuled event and be about sth far further back into the timeline than khaenriah and the cataclysm . theres things like rhe night mother specifically talking abt Thousands of years passing before the new hero (= 4th descender aka us most likely) appears to challenge her and also just the general way i still think pale princess aligns too much w the story of the seelie ancestor and her lover Not to be a story about that time period . so as much as the 5+1 sinners of khaenriah being the pygmies is like. Yes the numbers would finally add up clearly with no mental backflips needed unlike w the archons . but like all things considered im still a bit unconvinced. we shall see . that book is a menace anyway so its always gonna be a hot topic lmao like what is Up with it 💀

[2n2n]

WARRRGGHH THE RYOKAN............................

wow, I guess Tsukasa truly is a fakie fake kitty! He's the only one who has normal human ears...

I'm so used to kemonimi having 4 ears that I didn't think Aida would make it a distinct visual consistency that the 'real' cats only have the 2. Its kinda crazy to see Hanako and Nene with No Ears on the sides...

more subtle on someone with a hairstyle like Sakura, but really glaring on Hanako, haha. He feels sorta shaved down...

Little Tsukasa is just playing pretend.... too cute... you'll still play with a feather toy like any kitten, huh...? nya nya nya....

I'm glad you're safe sweetie.... a normal lad (sortof)!!! INTACT!!

I wasn't sure how 'canon' this image exactly was-- their designs shifted a lot since here afterall (clothes are different, lacking matching bells, Hanako's missing his tail-tip color, Tsukasa's missing a tail at all, lacking his fanciful shimenawa thing etc)....

his profile specifies that he likes "narrow and dark spaces"...

his title seems to be a sorta pun on room-service and the word for tortishell cat ('sabi' instead of 'sabisu'?) ? (at least, I saw JP accounts talking about sabineko in conjunction with his title...) ? I'm glad he's generally useless and does what he wants... I'm sure thats the life Hanako wants for you!! But, a-ah, it's increasing my fractal to have Tsukasa essentially enjoy a broomcloset.... like a small enclosed space... guess he got used to whatever the circus put him through.... and Hanako lets him do as he pleases ... ah, it's so cute... in canon, I always wonder why he is in that scary, derelict room, when he has access to the greater Broadcast Room and even rogue spaces like the teaparty zone. Maybe Tsukasa's personal creature comforts are a scary dark hovel. Makes you worry a little about his life, doesn't it...

Nene having come here to get meat but just getting harassed by her thirsty coworker, extremely funny.

Hanako liking silver vine.................... can I see it, AidaIro.... can I see Hanako drooling and rolling around on the floor under the effects of silver vine ... please ... I would like to see it. What an indulgent pleasures guy... Hanako seems so carefree. And of course we have to mention he's here to eat someone........

It's fascinating Sakura is the true manager and comes from a long line of people set to run it :o some neat implications there... it follows my general ideas of her for canon (someone trapped in her position by some tradition...) so I'm intriiigued.....

I was so like, "how do we go from running away from the circus to founding a ryokan?" but, just stumbling across an extant ryokan makes plenty of sense!!!

I really love the general vibes of people suffering in life, or hating their circumstances, etc, winding up here... I like Mitsuba and Aoi both just hating their jobs... COME TO THE RYOKAN!!

rah... I don't have the braincells to say more... I just love this all so much.... what a wonderful AU... I never imagined we'd get a whole MAP of the FACILITY!!!! And I didn't imagine it was SO sprawling and wondrous, we can do anything here... TT___TT its too much to think about the twins spending years here, bathing in hot steaming waters and playing kitty together, getting acquainted with silver vine.... its also too much to think about how disgusting Hanako's harassment of Nene would be in such close proximity to bathing accommodations and so much freedom to run about the place without a buncha authority figures.......... its gotta be rough, eh girl.... good luck lol.

I feel like Tsuchigomori is just a big spider in a cave somewhere, lol...

[squidkid15]

You know WHAT!? No, I will not let tumblr win! I’m sending this ask whether we like it or not, round three let’s screech like a banshee!! AAAAAAAAAAAAAA

a lil baby ask tho, I ain’t got the confidence for the long one no the citations die with me

So, the claiming marks from Hawk and your core au (and snapped but yknow, tis just a lil baby au right now) I’m not entirely sure how they work and I’ve been trying my darnedest

At first thought it was more of a passive thing, back when it was only on the cores themselves. More a magic transfer like ya said here, but a Macaque exclusive? Like only he could do it, or have it done to him since he had that rare core corporeal ability. But THEN they started popping up on the physical bodies

such as when Wukong is what I’m assuming is reclaiming over LBD’s ice marks with his own magic after her defeat? At least that’s what I’m catching from the more golden swirl off to the side, so then it’s not just something Mac adjacent and more “if you’ve got magic and intent it works?” And clearly it’s not something to be done lightly with how much pain Macaque is in while it’s happening soooo

That kinda leads me to my question which is what’s the purpose? More than cosmetic since it’s on the souls BUT also some of those designs look particularly artsy so did they get drawn on (matchy matchy) (Mac <I am LOOKING at those frosty white stars hmmmm> lookin so cool in his new colors) (boop) but also they can fade (from Hawk’s sick Wukong renewed broken marks design) and clearly a sign of, not quite ownership but a “they’re with me better know what you’ll get if you mess with em”? I guess!? (oop)

[this is absolutely core au propaganda]

And now SNAPPED!! HAVSISHDJS WHAT!? Clearly a mark of control Wukong put on MK, or at the very least something that screams he’s under Wukong’s thumb and hurting so like Implications!!

Basically what this is all getting at is Claming Marks ✨ if those links don’t work I’m going to cry

holy cow you went and cited your sources and everything goddamn!!!

points deducted because its not in MLA format.

ANYWAYS yes.

Claims. (this got long so READ MORE GO BRRRR)

They're relatively new, Hawk and I only came up with them....uhh....a quick search in our dms & server and the earliest mention i can find is only about 2 weeks ago. They're...they're sorta what they sound like? A way to mark a "claim" over someone else, over their very soul.

It's only something immortals can do - any immortal. Mac has other special core powers but a claim & claim marks are for anyone with an immortal core.

They can have plenty of different purposes, some more neutral, some good, others...pretty dark. Generally and historically (and the way we use them MOST in the AU) is as a sign of trust, a super close bond and a way to cement it (not inherently romantic). A king and a trusted warrior, for example. :) They're largely for the message it sends and not usually for any practical reason. More of just an honor. Wedding rings, sorta? But not inherently romantic, like I said. They're mostly just a personal mark, because cores aren't visible other than to a select few people. Just a way between two people to cement a connection. Mac & Wukong's are particularly strong after being redone, so they can sorta feel each other? They can feel a general direction/location of the other, and can sorta vibe check each other through it. Get a vague sense of how the other is feeling/doing. Particularly any strong negative ones stand out most. (The bond can also be closed off/hidden from the other half but that's almost more suspicious and will just make the other half Concerned.)

Other claims have....darker...applications. LBD uses a version on Wukong in the show (Headcanon/retroactively making canon fit core) and also Mac later when we mess him up real bad. These being control claims, which...do what they sound like. Hers are especially ouch because she overwrote the former marks instead of making a new one (more on that later).

And yes, there is stuff in Snapped too. Wukong uses a stronger claim mark on MK to keep him close, it hurts if he moves too far out of the king's sphere of influence.

The carving of a claim (and that is the best word for it) isn't necessarily painful (though it can be) but it's not a comfortable experience. It is taking one's power and essentially forcing it into a place etched into another soul, which is going to be uncomfortable no matter how willing it is. A willing claim is just uncomfortable and sorta hurts, but it can get far worse. Mac and Wukong's first one was this. From when they were young and stupid and close, a regular willing claim they both wanted and carved into the other.

They can also be forced upon someone else, and this is inherently painful as the soul fights back instead of being open and accepting of the power (these are also usually ones with darker purposes, Wukong was on the wrong end of a couple attempts).

Claims can be removed (but never fully. The etchings will still be there, even if the power is removed) and can also be overriden. To take a claim and rip the power that used to be there out, and replace it with one's own. LBD does this, and it's a real good way to break someone. While all immortals can lay a claim, not every immortal can override a claim (particularly if the original claim is made by a powerful soul). It takes a whole lot more power and is inherently painful and much harder on a soul than a regular claim.

(The picture you linked with wukong reclaiming is exactly what you think it is. And even though this was a willing override, Mac's core is inherently very fragile after being twice shattered, and Wukong's core and power are so strong this takes a HUGE toll on him. There was a non-zero chance that Wukong overriding an already overridden claim would have killed Mac. (And they both knew that.))

SO NOW THAT ALL THAT IS OUT OF THE WAY -

Claim marks :)

All claims leave at least one physical mark, from where it was made the first time. From their first original ones when they were young, Wukong's is on his back like Hawk drew, Mac's is on his chest (under a bunch of scars :') ).

All claims have the one mark, but others can be made as well, drawn on like you guessed! The claims may serve a practical purpose but claim marks are just aesthetic. Be it a visible declaration of the claim (core mac & wukong) or a mark of ownership (snapped MK and the white snowflakes on mac). They can only be made by someone with a claim on the soul of the person they're marking, and can be added and removed whenever (but only by the person with the claim, hence why LBD's marks linger on mac. She never removed them). They're mostly drawn on, but there is also an element of souls having certain patterns. The gold swirls on mac Wukong drew, but the dots formed naturally. Similarly, mac drew the purple swirls on Wukong, but the wisps formed on their own.

Wukong's original claim mark faded and broke when LBD did her whole Thing (and also other stuff but mostly LBD). Mac's faded when he died and was resurrected, but never broke completely until LDB messes him up real bad in core.

Oh and last thing, people can claim and be claimed by multiple people. Multiple claims multiple claim marks.

[im-only-joking]

Okay so with the thoughts of bratty sub mat, wrecked mat, and like Marty teaching mat to fight in mine and @ladyeggplant s minds, I give you this absolute filth with more feelings than i thought it would have. Marty, mat, and beau threesome, with very much mat x beau relationship going on in the background.

Warnings: cumplay, dom/sub relationships, pain play, nipple play, daddy kink. If i’ve missed anything lmk and I'll tag it/ edit the warnings. As much as i love sydney, lets just pretend for the sake of not involving any cheating, that Marty and syd never existed.

"C'mon Barz, try and pin me."

Matt knew he should've seen this coming a mile away, what with Barzy's shy grins, and his dark eyes twinkling with mirth as they roughhoused. It wasn't exactly, like, a hardship, though. Just, could've been foreseen.

Mat was grinning ear-to-ear, trying to get a better grip on Marty as they grappled, practice winding down behind them.

"How the fuck are you 'sposed to get em to the ice?" Barz asked, giggling, as he adjusted his fist in Marty's jersey.

"Like this."

With a grunt, Barzy landed on his back, still fisting Marty's jersey like a lifeline as the older man laughed over him.

"You're too pretty to get punched, Barz, but here's some advice for when you get into a scrap on the ice," Marty winked, "Let me handle it."

Mat flushed and rolled his eyes, shoving Marty off him as he carefully got to his skates.

"Lame," Barz huffed. "Busted lips are hot."

Marty raised a brow. "Yeah? Ya think so?"

He let Barz think about the implication of his statement, realization dawning on the younger's face, his face turning even brighter with embarrassment as he ducked his head

"Hey man, they are, don't shame me."

Marty laid a hand on Mat's shoulder. "Not shaming you, just making sure you're saying what I think you are."

Barzy looked up through his dark lashes, lips bitten red, and grinned sheepishly. "I am. I want- I need-"

"I can tell you need it," Marty chuckled, running his fingers through Mat's hair in a way that could be seen by the other guys as 'ruffling', but was really just an excuse to tug the younger boy's hair, his helmet having been tossed to the ice before they'd play-fought. "You wanna come by after lunch? I know you nornally go out with Beau, so don't miss out on that. But come over after, and I'll give you what you want."

Mat's breath caught in his throat as Marty skated off for the dressing room.

"He teaching you some tricks, eh?" Beau's voice snapped Mat out of his trance, and he almost yelped.

"Huh? What do you mean?" God, Mat hoped Beau hadn't heard that conversation.

"You two looked like you were having a scrap?" Beau questioned, looking confused at Mat's panicked tone. "Dude, you good?"

"I think Marty just invited me over to his place to get fucked by him," Mat blurted out, clapping a hand over his mouth after the word-vomit had already done its damage.

Beau looked shocked, then even more confused, then impressed. "Well shit dude, get some. I mean, I know you know this, but just be careful it doesn't mess with the team dynamic, but otherwise... That's kinda hot."

"Wait... What?" Mat frowned.

Beau laughed, winding an arm around Mat's neck as he dragged him towards the locker room. "Marty's hot, dude, and like, I dunno... I've always thought about getting dominated by him. Seems like he'd be into that sorta thing."

Mat knew his face was probably fire engine red at this point. "Do you think he'd do that? Just take control and... Do what he wanted with us?"

Beau scoffed. "Well, I guess you'll find out? I'm not coming with you."

"Why not?" Mat asked, quickly stripping off his sweaty gear before wrapping a towel around himself to head to the showers. "You wanna right?"

"I've... Thought about him, yeah."

"And I'm pretty nervous, so... Buddy system."

Beau cackled. "I'm pretty certain we wouldn't be considered 'buddies' at that point, Barz. That's technically grounds for a threesome."

Mat bit his lip, letting Beau walk off to shower as he did the same, thinking over everything Beau had just said. And came to a pretty solid conclusion.

"I've always been interested in you, I've just never said anything cause I didn't think you were into dudes. Or that you'd ever be into me," Mat mumbled through a mouthful of salad that Beau had bullied him into getting at their usual lunch place.

Beau's mouth dropped open and Mat got a good look at half-chewed chicken parm.

"Ew, man," he grouched, shielding his eyes. "Chew and swallow."

Beau chewed thoroughly and swallowed before speaking. "You mean to say that you've found me attractive since, when, Barz, since like a year ago, a few years ago?"

Mat played with his fork, avoiding answering until said fork fell on the fucking ground, eliminating his distraction.

"I think, like, probably since the World Juniors where you broke your arm?"

Beau narrowed his eyes and leaned across the table. "You motherfucker."

Mat winced.

"I have spent fucking ages trying to get over you, thinking you couldn't possibly be interested in me, cause you're... Well... You. And now you're saying all this time I've been wallowing in self pity, we could've been fucking?"

Mat winced again, clearing his throat. "I'd like to think that we could've been dating, but, uh, yeah."

Beau's eyes narrowed even more. "You absolute sonofabitch. No, sorry, I love your mom, don't tell her I called you that. I just don't understand!"

"I'm sorry?" Mat grumbled, a little peeved. "I was just... Preoccupied with other elements of my life that I didn't really think about my feelings. Well. Those feelings."

"No I mean, I get that, I just don't understand why me?"

Mat's head snapped up at Beau's comment.

"What the fuck do you mean why you? Have you looked in a mirror, dude? You've got these, like, super blue eyes, and I can't look away from your lips when you talk, and your body is ridiculous dude, have you seen your tits?"

"They're not-!" Beau started to protest, amused, but Mat cut him off.

"And like, not even just your body, like your whole personality, man. Your laugh is super contagious, it's like you just brighten up every room you walk in, and you're good at cheering me up when I'm being a moody asshole, and when we talk I always feel like you... Totally hear me." Mat trailed off as he noticed Beau's eyes on him, staring fondly. "You're my favorite person."

Beau ducked his chin to his chest, grinning wildly. "You're my favorite person, too, Barz. But if you say anything else, I will start to get weepy, and I really don't wanna do that in public."

Mat laughed, leaning back in his seat. "Alright I'll stop. On one condition."

Beau cocked an eyebrow. "And that is?"

Mat grinned slyly. "You join me at Marty's when we're done eating."

"Fuck," Beau groaned, pupils lust-blown at just the thought. "Yeah, okay. Let him know we're both coming, though. No surprises."

Mat's thumbs tapped his phone screen quickly as he shot off a message to Marty.

"Done."

"And now we wait for his response," Beau stated.

Mat stole Beau's fork and shoveled another bite of probably-too-much-salad into his mouth.

His phone vibrated, almost rattling its way off the table edge before Mat nabbed it and anxiously looked at the screen.

"He says 'the more the merrier'," Mat sighed in relief. "He added a winky face too. Figured that was kinda implied. Oh, and he sent a pictu- OH MY GOD."

Mat blushed and locked his phone.

Beau snorted and snagged it off the table, unlocking it with the ease of a knowing best friend, and widened his eyes.

"Fuck, this'll be fun."

Twenty minutes later found the two of them at Marty's very classy flat. Classy meaning it had a doorman and lots of potted plants, instead of the ability for strangers to just walk right up to your door and murder you when you answered the door at Mat and Beau's apartment complex.

Marty answered the door a few moments after Mat had knocked; long enough of a pause to seem casual and collected as Marty always was, and therefore long enough of a pause for Mat to start anxiously wondering if this was a stupid idea.

"Hey boys, glad you could both make it," Marty grinned, gently coaxing them into the apartment and closed the door behind them. "I was gonna have a beer, did either of you want one?"

Beau shrugged. "Sure".

Mat envied the easiness and comfort he exuded even in unfamiliar territory.

"Thanks, Marty, sure." Mat replied. His voice cracked. Beau's hand brushed his back, leading him to sit on the couch, where he began tapping his foot nervously as Marty grabbed the three beers.

Beau's hand paused Mat's knee, and he looked up at his friend's blue eyes.

"You okay?" Beau asked, smile soft and brows downturned in concern.

Mat bit his lip and nodded vigorously.

"You really just need to be pinned down, huh?" Marty laughed, not unkindly, as he returned. He passed Beau and Barz their beers before taking a long sip of his own. "You wanna tell us more about what you need, bud?"

Beau's hand prevented Mat from bouncing his leg as he tried to answer.

"I want-" Mat broke off, blinking quickly and huffing a frustrated sigh. "I don't know what I want."

"You want me to tell you what to do?" Marty asked. "Would that help? Giving you instructions to follow?"

Mat looked up, catching Marty's eye for the first time since they got there.

"Please," he whispered.

"And Beau?"Marty turned to the other boy. "What is it you want from me?"

"I just wanna have some fun. Get a little roughed up, maybe," Beau chuckled, tipping back his head to polish off his beer quickly.

Marty smiled, and spread his legs in the leather loveseat he was currently occupying. "C'mere then boys, on your knees for me."

Mat dropped to the ground gracelessly, crawling into the vee of Marty's legs and resting his chin on the older man's well-muscled thigh.

Beau joined Mat on his left, soundlessly pouring himself off the couch and depositing himself at Marty's feet.

"Well, get my fly open and get me hard. No hands, Barz, c'mon, wanna see what your mouth can do."

Mat nodded, letting Marty pet his head, feeling drunk and dazed after only a few sips of beer. His head was hazy with the need to please. Beau was using his teeth to pull Marty's fly down, and Marty wiggled his own jeans down to his ankles before letting them get on with it.

Mat watched as Beau delicately tugged the elastic of Marty's boxers down, dragging them just below his balls, where Marty stopped him to tug the underwear down to join his jeans.

Before Beau could beat him to it, Mat ducked his head to tongue at the crown of Marty's exposed cock.

"Atta boy, Barz, greedy for it aren't ya?" Marty sighed, pushing Beau's head down to have him suck at his balls. "Fuck that's it, Beau."

Mat groaned, the vibrations causing Marty to reach down and twist and hand into the boy's dark locks and tug hard.

Gasping, Mat pulled off, saliva connecting his lips to Marty's cock, and he looked up, finding Marty's eyes lust-blown and dark.

"Beau come up here, I'm gonna finger you open while Mat sucks me off," Marty commanded, not taking his eyes off Mat's as he guided his dick back into Mat's mouth.

Beau got up and must've been directed into position by Marty, laid out so he was kneeling on the loveseat next to the man, armrest supporting his folded arms and head. Mat bobbed his head on Marty's cock as he watched Beau push his ass out for Marty to knead at.

A sharp sound signified Marty's hand smacking Beau's ass, and the groan of pain-pleasure that followed caused Mat to whimper around Marty, his own cock twitching in his track pants.

Marty reached back down to Mat, pushing strong fingers through his hair before shoving up into Mat's mouth, making him gag.

"C'mon, Barz, open up, gonna fuck your face, get you all messy." Mat stuck out his tongue, letting Marty's cock slide to the back of his throat and drip precum and drool down his chin.

"Fuck," Beau murmured, watching Mat take Marty with hungry eyes, pushing back into Marty's hand with cut off curses as Marty opened him up.

Mat closed his eyes and let himself embrace being used, his throat aching in the best way as Marty continuously pushed down it, choking him, making him gag and drool and moan helplessly.

He didn't notice that he was rocking his hips against Marty's shin until Marty pulled him off his cock and smiled teasingly down at him.

"Sweetheart, you planning to get off like that?"

Mat froze, hips stilling, and he blinked tear-bleary eyes up at Marty.

"I promise you it'll be better if you wait," the man stated, pulling Mat up to straddle his thigh, one hand occupied teasing Beau, the other pushing up the hem of Mat’s shirt to flick at his nipples.

Mat squirmed, wrinkling his nose at the sensation, and Marty laughed loudly, breaking the heavy air of the quiet apartment.

“Not a fan of having your nipples played with?” he grinned, hand trailing back down to Mat’s waist.

“I don’t think so, sorry,” Mat mumbled, tucking his face into Marty’s chest to avoid looking at him.

“Nothing to apologize for, Barz,” Marty replied, fingers curling into his hair.

“Mine are so sensitive,” Beau stated, turning in the loveseat to face them, and whipping off his shirt.

Marty raised a brow. “Now there’s an idea. Mat, why don’t you suck on Beau’s tits and finger him, huh?”

Mat giggled, looking at Beau. “Told you they’re tits, bro.”

Beau rolled his eyes and tugged Mat closer to kiss him soundly on the mouth, the taste of Marty’s precum still lingering on Mat’s tongue.

“Fuck you two are gorgeous, aren’t you?” Marty sighed, leaning back in the seat to watch, enraptured. “But we need a bed, I think.”

“Yeah,” Mat broke the kiss panting, ripping his shirt off and tumbling off the seat. Beau smirked, following suit, and gripped Marty’s hands to haul him out of the leather chair. Marty pulled his boxers and jeans back up his hips, leaving the jeans to hang open tantalizingly.

“Pick up after yourselves, boys,” Marty said, his tone gentle but commanding. “You won’t be making a pigsty of my apartment.”

“Sorry,” Mat bit his lip, dropping his gaze to the floor, hearing Beau’s much less remorseful “oops” and following spank that Marty delivered.

Fingers tugged Mat’s head back up to Marty’s even gaze. “Thank you, Mat, such a good boy.”

Mat’s mouth dropped open in a soft gasp at the praise, Marty smiling kindly at him, petting him like a cat. Beau, at Mat’s side now, was getting his hair pulled roughly in contrast.

“You like being good for me, huh, Mat?” Marty confirmed. “And Beau here likes being a bit naughty, ain’t that funny. Got me a little angel and a devil.”

Shifting his grip to the backs of their necks, Marty marched Mat and Beau to his bedroom, closing the door behind them if only to provide minimal soundproofing.

Beau and Mat stood in the middle of the room, and Marty snorted at their eager expressions.

“Strip down. All the way. Beau get on the bed right in the middle, propped up on the pillows all the way up at the headboard. Don’t you dare touch yourself unless you don’t wanna be allowed to cum today.”

Beau saluted Marty cheekily before dropping trou and wiggling onto the bed, getting comfortable. Mat could still see the slick path of lube between Beau’s thighs, leading between his asscheeks and felt his cock pulse.

Marty’s hand tipped Mat’s chin up to face him. “Undress me, Mat, slowly. Shirt first, then jeans, socks, then boxers. You’re allowed to touch me as much as you want. Understood?”

Mat nodded as much as he could with Marty’s hand still under his chin, but said hand gripped his jaw tight, freezing him in place and his eyes flicked nervously back to Marty’s.

“I need you be vocal with me about everything. Yes’s, no’s, what you like, dislike, what feels good, when you want more of something, and when you have things you want me to do to you. Now,” Marty’s thumb pulled Mat’s lower lip down, opening his mouth and Mat let Marty’s thumb rest on his tongue a moment before closing his mouth and sucking softly. “Am I clear?”

“Yes,” Mat lisped around Marty’s thumb, head going hazy again. His knees felt like pudding and it took all his willpower to stay standing when Marty let his hand drop and motioned for him to begin undressing him.

Mat slowly dragged his fingers under the hem of Marty’s henley t-shirt, eyes glued to each inch of skin as it was exposed. Marty ducked his head to let Mat pull the shirt up over his head, hands tracing the muscles of his shoulders, arms, forearms as the sleeves were drawn off and Mat held onto the shirt, pulling it right-side-out, folding it, and laying it on the dresser that was across from the bed. At Marty’s smile and nod, Mat knew he’d done well with keeping the older man’s clothes tidy, and took his nod as a sign to continue.

Sliding to his knees, Mat looked up at Marty, slipping his already open jeans down his hips, and letting his hands follow the denim down to Marty’s ankles. Marty lifted each leg one at a time to help Mat to remove the jeans, which the younger folded neatly again, and set on top of the henley on the dresser, getting back to his knees after.

“Use your mouth to get my boxers off,” Marty directed, and Mat gulped before gently getting his teeth around the edge of the elastic band, pulling up and over Marty’s leaking cock, tucking it under his balls for a moment. Mat’s teeth grazed Marty’s hipbone as he tugged one side of his boxers down, then the other side, then pulling them down at the middle till they fell to Marty’s feet. Marty picked them up and put them in a hamper in the corner of the room instead of having Mat fold them, and, before standing, Mat placed a gentle kiss to both sides of Marty’s hips and then to the tip of his dick, knees popping a little from being on the floor awhile.

“Good job, sweetheart,” Marty kissed Mat gently. “And Beau, you’ve been surprisingly good over there, not touching yourself.”

“It was tough, you put on quite a show, Barzy,” Beau grinned, hands linked under his head, both in a gesture of comfort and to keep himself from touching his own cock.

“You gonna be sweet for us, Mat? Gonna suck on Beau’s tits, finger him till he cums all over himself?” Marty asked from behind Mat, placing kisses along Mat’s spine.

“Don’t you wanna cum, too?” Mat frowned, pushing his ass back on Marty’s hard cock nestled against Mat’s ass, still in his track pants.

“I was gonna ask if you’d let me fuck you,” Marty murmured, teeth nipping at the tender skin under Mat’s jaw.

“Please,” Mat breathed, arm coming up to wrap around Marty’s neck, keeping his lips on Mat’s neck. “I- Fuck, I want it so bad.”

“Yeah?” Marty nuzzled into Mat’s neck. “Strip and get on the bed, help out Beau and I’ll open you up for my cock.”

Mat moaned, tearing off his pants and boxer briefs in one go, laying both on the dresser without folding them, scrambling on the bed, before realizing that he should have folded his clothes, and looking over at Marty anxiously.

“It’s alright, Mat,” Marty smiled, “I’ll excuse it since you’re so eager.”

Mat turned back to Beau, who was rocking his hips up into the air uselessly, already worked up.

“Hi,” Mat said, kissing Beau’s pouty, bitten-red lips, before kissing down his chest to his pecs.

“Fuck, Mat, c’mon, don’t tease,” Beau grumbled, pushing his chest up into Mat’s warm mouth, and Mat let his tongue lave over Beau’s right nipple, teeth catching on the peaked bud, and he felt more than heard Beau’s answering groan.

“You good if I start fingering you, Mat?” Marty asked, the snap of the lube cap making Mat blink, taking his mouth briefly off Beau’s chest.

“Yes, please,” Mat replied, getting up onto his knees and bending over Beau’s body more, ass exposed to Marty. He felt the wet press of a finger exploring, just circling his hole, pushing gently, getting him slick. Mat hummed happily, resuming biting and licking Beau’s tits, making them sore and red. “Can I have some lube to finger Beau?”

Marty passed the bottle to Mat, who poured a little on a couple fingers before passing it back.

Finding Beau’s eyes, Mat dipped a finger down to Beau’s hole, already a little slick from earlier, and still a little open as his first finger slid in easily, Beau rocking back on it.

Mat was preoccupied with Beau’s slick hole when Marty’s finger dipped into his own ass, causing him to wriggle back on Marty’s hand, silently asking for more before remembering Marty’s demand.

“Please, Marty, more, I can take it. I-” Mat flushed and pressed his hot cheeks into Beau’s tits before finishing his sentence. “I like it when it hurts a little.”

Marty rumbled in satisfaction. “Good boy, Mat. Such a sweet little slut for us, isn’t he, Beau?”

“Fuck yeah,” Beau choked out, moaning long and loud as Mat’s fingers, two now, grazed his prostate once, twice, sliding along the spot as his teeth teased Beau’s raw nipples.

Marty slid another finger in alongside the first, and Mat pushed back into the burn, biting down on Beau’s pec. Marty spent a moment scissoring and spreading the two fingers, stretching Mat’s hole, as Mat mouthed and sucked messily at Beau. There was no way they’d be able to hide the marks on Beau’s chest at this point, with several hickies now marking Beau’s pecs and neck, his nipples abused from Mat’s teeth.

“One more, please,” Mat begged, rolling back into Marty’s hand desperately. “I need your cock.”

“That’s it, baby, taking it so well, I’ll give you what you need soon, one more,” Marty promised, pressing a third finger beside the others, kissing along Mat’s tailbone, long, sucking kisses that broke the staccato sound of Beau’s moans as Mat’s fingers pulsed against his prostate, Mat tonguing at the crown of Beau’s cock.

“Gonna cum, please can I?” Beau panted, question directed at Marty, running the show.

“Go ahead, Mat, let Beau cum on your face and tongue babe,” Marty said, lifting his head to watch as Beau jacked himself, moaning, his cum landing on Mat’s lashes just as his eyes closed, dripping down his cheeks, splattering on his lips and onto his unfurled tongue.

“Fuck, Mat,” Beau sighed, body melting back into the mattress.

“Goddamn, Mat, you’re a pretty picture. A painted whore,” Marty chuckled. “Beau get him a tissue, clean off his eyes only. I wanna keep him a pretty mess for a while.”

Beau obeyed, tugging a tissue from the side table, and gently getting all the cum out of Mat’s lashes, kissing his forehead. Beau’s fingers swiped up the cum on Mat’s cupid’s bow and chin, and Mat stuck out his tongue to lick it off, sucking Beau’s fingers till he pulled his hand back, gripping Mat’s chin. Mat looked at Beau, distantly hearing the crinkle of a condom wrapper and the snap of the lube bottle’s cap, but found himself lost to watching Beau watch him.

Smiling gently, Beau, kissed Mat, tongue sliding into his mouth, the sound of their heavy breathing the only sound as Marty’s hands slid from Mat’s ass to his waist and back, waiting.

“Please, Marty, I want it,” Mat sighed into Beau’s mouth, still braced over him. Marty’s cock teased at Mat’s entrance, sliding along the crease of Mat’s lube-drenched ass over and over again.

“What exactly do you want, Mat?” Marty searched, leaning in close to suck marks to Mat’s neck, grinding slowly, until it was too much for Mat to handle.

“Fuck, Marty, god, fuck me, please, I want you to fuck me,” Mat implored, voice hoarse as his desperation rose. “I need your cock, daddy, please.”

Beau groaned softly, soft dick twitching in a valiant attempt to get it up again at Mat’s pleading, and Marty crooned sweet things in Mat’s ear, biting down on a fresh hickey before leaning back.

As Marty’s cock filled him, Mat could only whimper, Beau’s hands kneading his ass, holding him open for Marty. Covered in marks, spit, and cum, Mat felt every bit a slut for the two men in bed with him, and he embraced it, rocking back until Marty was all the way seated inside him.

Looking over his shoulder at the older man, Mat bit his lip lasciviously, eyes half-lidded. “You were moving too slow.”

Marty laughed, short and bright, hands gripping Mat’s waist tighter as he pulled almost completely out before slamming back in, jostling Mat forward into Beau’s body, head dropping down onto his chest as Marty continued his rough, slow thrusts.

“Feel good?” Beau prompted, tucking Mat’s hair behind his ear, which was useless when it just flopped back to hang in front of his face again.

“So good,” Mat gasped, letting out a shout as a particularly sharp thrust glanced against his prostate. “So fucking good, Beau.”

“Tell Marty that, mon cher,” Beau purred, playing into Marty’s dominant nature, and Mat almost cried with the pleasure of being tortured so sweetly.

“Fuck,” Mat sobbed, “Feels so good, daddy.”

Marty huffed, hand lifting from his iron grip to crack against Mat’s ass, causing Mat to howl, tears of pain-pleasure finally gathering at his eyes and threatening to fall. “You like when daddy fucks you like that, gorgeous?”

“Yes, yes, yes,” Mat chanted, rolling his hips in time with Marty’s thrusts, and the tears in his eyes fell down his cheeks when Beau’s hand found the head of his cock, loosely circling it as Mat’s hips rocked. Mat let out something close to a scream, maybe a sob, maybe something in between, except he couldn’t hear himself. All he could hear was the filthy slap of Marty’s hips against his ass.

"You like Beau touching you like that? He looks so good with your marks all over him, huh, Mat?"

Another crack, and pain, zipping through Mat as if it was connected straight to his cock.

“God, fuck yeah, feels so good, Beau. You look so good. Please,” Mat cried, tears falling freely down his cheeks. “Please can I cum?”

“Yeah,” Marty grunted, “Fuck, yeah, Mat cum for us.”

Beau’s hand tightened and he stroked Mat through his orgasm, mind whiting out at the intensity of the feeling. Mat could feel Marty’s hands tense and relax from his own orgasm, felt him pull out, but could only focus on the feel of Beau’s skin under his cheek, his breaths coming fast and heavy.

Minutes later, or maybe hours with how hazy Mat’s mind was, he felt hands stroking through his hair, and a separate set of hand stroking down his spine with a wet cloth, getting between his legs to clean up the lube sticking to his thighs.

“Can you sit up a little, Mat?” Beau’s voice drifted into Mat’s mind. Mat obeyed as best he could, unsticking himself from the cum-tacky surface of Beau’s stomach and sitting up.

Marty’s arms wrapped around him to steady him, and Mat tilted his head back to look at his face. Marty grinned down at him, giving him a sweet kiss on the forehead before gently wiping the residual cum from Mat’s face and stomach.

“You were so good for us,” Marty murmured, tossing the rag to Beau, who cleaned himself up and Marty nuzzled into Mat’s hair. “Thank you, Mat.”

Mat frowned. “Why are you thanking me?”

Beau and Marty paused to look at him. Beau took one of his hands.

“You did what Marty told you to; telling us what you wanted, what felt good. That’s important, Mat,” Beau explained.

Marty nodded. “I don’t expect you to totally understand it, but it’s pretty common for people to want to have someone in control of them. It’s a way of stress-relief. If you don’t have to make choices, you don’t have those consequences on your shoulders.”

“We can talk about it later,” Beau smiled, rubbing over the veins in Mat’s hands. “You’ve had a pretty tiring day, I think we’re done for today on that subject.”

Marty laughed, petting Mat’s hair once more before standing and grabbing a new pair of boxers from his dresser. “Have some water before either of you leave, but I agree, I think we’ve tired Mat out enough.”

“I dunno I think I could go another round,” Mat said sarcastically, and both Beau and Marty rolled their eyes.

“Alright, tough stuff,” Marty scoffed, handing Mat his clothes as they all got dressed.

Dressed, and hydrated, Beau tugged Mat out of Marty’s apartment, both a little ruffled looking and sore in places that couldn’t be explained from just practice.

“That really happened, huh?” Mat giggled, letting Beau carry most of his weight as they rode the elevator down to the lobby, fingers pressing at the collar of Beau’s shirt, where they both knew a scattering of bruises in the shape of Mat’s mouth lay.

“Yeah, it sure did,” Beau hummed, arms wrapping around Mat to keep him up. “You uh... you’re still like, interested in me, right?”

Mat blanked for a second, wondering why Beau would even second guess. “Dude, of course. I...like don’t get me wrong, that was fun with Marty, but next time let’s just make it you and me?”

Beau’s face broke open in a blinding grin, making a similar wild smile echo on Mat’s. “Sounds like a plan, Barz.”

[arundolyn]

i wanna hear the implications of trinity creating a body for terumi...please let us know what you have to say because i can't stop thinking about what it could all possibly be

I THINK IVE MADE A POST ABOUT THIS BUT ILL STILL DO IT CAUSE LIKE DUDE. GOD

im going to assume. a baseline understanding of like blazblue lore the nox nyctores the muchourin etc. i can go back if needed

but like the Thing is. there are so many factors at play but the MAJOR major ones are trinity either:

made a human body for terumi, which is kinda sorta just about the pinnacle of The General Concept Of Actual Alchemy, creating human life, minus i suppose the part where his soul was like already extant and tied to the mortal plane. we're ignoring that for the sake of simplicity. as such, this is pretty much just a huge flex of hey look what trinity can fucking do. Be Afraid.

OR she made another grimoire like hazama's body, if she based it on that, since its the same appearance wise minus his ugly ass raincoat and spiky ugly hair. which would be equally as impressive, since hazama's body, presumably, took like yknow thousands of human souls to make, being a(n azure) grimoire. nbd, right?

and bear in mind for both options, possibly the biggest part of this- nothing was given in exchange that we're aware of, which is an established Thing for the muchourin, as it was made for trinity, who is a very gifted alchemist, and it can canonically in the right hands (hers) make something out of genuinely nothing. i would say the same goes for anything the muchourin makes that we see but at the same time ingame at least it kinda just. transmogrifies itself rather than completely creating a new thing about half the time. i dont think the bubbles from dream sally and swallow moon quite count hfjdhkh so plat's abilities on her own are up for debate. which i just realized kinda, i guess, makes the muchourin like... a philosopher's stone equivalent, in terms of concept and like. folklore.

all of this to say, if trinity wasn't such an extremely nice and kindhearted person all the time, she could fuck everyone UP. au where trin got mind eater'd instead of nine when. maybe izanami and co wouldve won then.

edit i forgot a few important points: this is never addressed in any meaningful way At All. and there are some weird curveballs like terumi's whole plotline in cf i think is trying to find a new body/get back to his old one (susano'o) because his is dying/died and is like actually decaying or something idk it doesnt make complete sense but its wild. and also perhaps the point about trin making a whole ass human body isnt exactly as impressive in universe as it is outside, given how big ass laboratories seem to have little issue just making all the little blonde bitches they want (prime fields i know theyre not all blonde but still) and kokonoe just like casually... made celica's body, i suppose, to put her soul back into for kushinada's lynchpin purposes. to be fair though, that does take Something, and that something is seithr, though it's like NEVER specified what the fuck that entails really cause of course it isnt

[thelightofthingshopedfor]

so I wrote most of this...four days ago, and then somehow didn’t get around to finishing it until just now, which feels super weird because after writing this I started getting worried about future episodes again for a variety of reasons, and of course now we’re at T minus 10 minutes? (honestly if I’m somehow late for my own funeral I’m pretty sure no one will be surprised.) but I still wanted to post this to go over some of what I liked so much about episode 4, even if...I am no longer anywhere near as confident as I was a few days ago about where the show might be going. whatever.

***

I’ve done almost nothing for the past day or so except chew over episode 4 some more, partly trying to figure out why I liked it so much when it was broadly very divisive, and I realized that a lot of what I’ve been feeling from this episode is relief.

the thing is I’ve been paranoid since at least Infinity War about Marvel doing setup that looks like it’ll lead to a big payoff and then nothing (Loki’s death, but also Gamora’s and maybe Vision’s, and the general fact that the “fix” to IW was convoluted, took place much later, and caused as many problems as it solved, and just, Endgame in general), so I don’t really trust Marvel that way anymore. plus Marvel has pretty badly fumbled a lot of different things in the past, especially on various social issues, by introducing unfortunate implications that apparently didn’t occur to them even though they’re obvious to literally everyone else...stuff like Thanos’s “sacrifice” of Gamora, or how the Flag-Smashers were portrayed and Karli was a villain for no real reason, or how it would’ve been so easy to add a couple lines in WandaVision that would fix the whole thing where the Maximoffs weren’t just whitewashed but they also voluntarily worked with Nazis and they whiffed that too. 

so, while I’ve been enjoying the show, a lot of that enjoyment has been based on meta I’ve seen and me sort of going “this interpretation is really cool and it makes a lot of sense, but at this point I can’t know if it’s something the showrunners are doing on purpose or if they sorta accidentally implied depth where there wasn’t any and it’s not actually leading anywhere” with things like the TVA being very clearly authoritarian but also supposedly the good guys, Loki being constantly described as an awful person, Loki sometimes being manic or incompetent, etc. etc. etc., along with the similar interpretation of “sure, we fans know all this stuff about how Loki is not an awful person actually, thanks, and the people who arrested him aren’t automatically Good Guys just because they’re in opposition to him but casual viewers--including not-casual-but-not-fannish viewers who should really know better--have not figured any of this out and so the show needs to go out of its way to demonstrate things that are obvious to us” but I wasn’t sure. the second half of episode 1 made me feel pretty good about where the show was headed as far as Loki’s characterization and emotions were concerned, but the more lighthearted aspects of 2 and 3 had me wondering again.

so then what happens in this episode?

the TVA goes fully mask off. the Time-Keepers are in fact fake, the Sacred Timeline by extension is also basically fake, the people who work there are all variants, the ones we know (C-20, B-15, Mobius) show grief and anger over the lives that were stolen from them, Sylvie is arrested as a child who did absolutely nothing wrong (and then put through the same process Loki was in episode 1, which is cool because a lot of it was kinda played for laughs then but showing the same things happening to an innocent child also serves to reframe what happened to Loki as, hmm, not that funny after all maybe!), Renslayer is willing to prune innocent people--friends and coworkers, even--just because they learned too much, all the sinister propaganda WAS SUPPOSED TO BE SINISTER

Loki gets very serious very fast in this episode. he displays a lot of genuine emotion and trauma but he mostly does it in a calculated way that shows just how fast his brain works and how he’s always, always thinking about what other people want/expect from him. (like--even the complaint about too few guards seems to fall into that category, given that he only says it after Mobius insists he must be wanting to make some kind of quip!) his self-image is garbage but through Sylvie he’s starting to maybe work on that. he goes up against multiple armed enemies while completely unarmed and holds his own until he gets a weapon. he pushes back when it matters and doesn’t just accept everything Mobius throws at him. he lies, pretty competently (the fact that Mobius doesn’t believe him is...really not his fault, considering Mobius wouldn’t believe him at first about the truth either, so I’m pretty sure he wasn’t planning to believe anything Loki outright told him), when it actually matters, primarily in what sure seems like an attempt to protect someone he cares about.

and Mobius. says that Loki WAS RIGHT. ABOUT THE TVA. FROM THE BEGINNING!!! I would still love to hear him say explicitly, look, I said a lot of shitty things to you and tossed in some actual physical torture at the end there oops but the vast majority of it was stuff I didn’t really mean and was only saying to get a reaction and/or information and of course it turns out I was wrong about all the TVA stuff, so I want to say for the record that I was wrong about you personally in many different ways and I’m sorry. (which, honestly, would probably be very awkward for both of them because I doubt Loki has much experience receiving genuine apologies.) but I’m mostly okay with it if he doesn’t, because I feel like you were right from the beginning, and by the way you can be whatever you want does a decent job of implying most of that. (...enough for casual viewers to pick up on it? well, I’m not hoping for miracles but sure, probably some of them.)

in other words? all that stuff the casual viewers were missing (not helped by misleading statements from the showrunners), about the TVA so clearly being bad guys, and Loki being a pretty decent person who presents different versions of himself in different situations and also has some shitty coping mechanisms, and the other Loki variant also not being evil just because they were trying to take down the TVA? we were right. that is, in fact, how the showrunners intended all those things to be taken. they didn’t want to come right out with that stuff at first because they wanted to tell a story and have some twists, and the fact that these things were twists for casual viewers is exactly why it was frustrating to a lot of fans, because it felt like obvious things were being misrepresented or overlooked. I still think that’s reasonable, because see above on why Marvel doesn’t necessarily deserve that trust, but at this point I’m a lot more comfortable believing that this specific show more or less knows what it’s doing.

I mean, yeah, there were some cool fan theories that went nowhere, like the whole thing with the broken TemPad, and I agree that was dumb and it’s very annoying that it really was just sloppy writing, but I guess specific things like that just...don’t bother me as much as more systemic, overarching elements like the characterization of Loki and the TVA. and yes, of course I’ll always be annoyed that we’re apparently never going to get explicit confirmation that Loki’s alliance with Thanos was coerced at best. but, you know, what we got isn’t nothing. 

[edwad]

man i have been a marxist for a few years now but recently in the past month or so after finding out about value-form theory, reading you and some other people's stuff and listening to heinrich lectures its like... god has everything ive known just been kinda wrong. like a lot of the way ive read marx has been refuted in a way that seems more correct i guess and on one hand its cool that im learning more but also it feels kinda depressing that so much of the theory i have been exposed to is 1/2

kinda just wrong. like where do i go from here? how do we ever even abolish the value form, is it just waiting for a crisis or what? sorry if this ask seems overstepping LMAO its just a kinda shocking realisation listening to ur podcast & going down that rabbit hole has sent me to i guess? i probably just need to read more about this all 2/2

this is also how it felt for me at first tbh, not just in disappointment about the amount of time i spent on stuff i no longer agree with, but also money on books etc that no longer really interested me lol. the good thing is that at the end of the day i think this is probably the best way to get into these kinds of critical/heterodox approaches because it gives you an idea of what they're pushing away from and you can sorta verify that stuff for yourself based on your own knowledge of the traditional interpretations. it'd likely be different and maybe less convincing if you started with something like heinrich's capital intro (which i've always said serves as more of an intervention into the literature rather than working as a proper introduction, at least for english audiences) and simply received its claims about worldview marxism etc without really knowing anything about what that means or why it's important. so i get your frustration (happened to me too) but i think this is probably the best way for this sorta thing to happen tbh.

as for the political project, i think it still obviously needs to be a communist one, just with stricter parameters and a stronger sense of what we won't allow through the door, a negative bar which has to be cleared. unfortunately i'm not sure there are concrete political implications which develop out of so-called "value-form theory" (which is a very, very broad camp) in terms of what we ought to do now or next, but i don't see this as a weakness. it's a better critique/understanding of the system we're in and the limits we're up against, not a ready-made revolutionary program. i know heinrich got some pushback for ultimately concluding as much in his red may talk on the political implications of form analysis (he said very little to answer this question in a way that satisfied viewers because they seemed to expect a positive proposal rather than negative critique, which i'm not convinced the analysis can or should be used for).

this is one reason why we're seeing a huge growth in "VFT" supporters among various tendencies. some of the earliest and most important writings on these topics were from leninists (rubin is a case-in-point, heterodox maoist/maoish thinkers like bettelheim, trots and post-trotskyists like chris arthur), anarchists/autonomists (holloway, bonefeld, open marxism as a whole really), etc etc etc. we've certainly passed the point in the anglo world where for a few years it seemed that to be interested in an analysis of the value-form meant that you were an endnotes reader. the political question is still an open-ended one, and people are certainly developing more sophisticated communisms out of the pairing of existing political projects with newer readings of marx, so there's not an easy answer to the "what should we do" question. that's still very much for us to figure out and work at, same as it always was. but at least we can be more careful in our tactics and prescriptions! and that's a good thing.

anyway yeah keep reading/listening/watching/etc! and feel free to reach out for book recs or if you have any other questions about this stuff.

[radramblog]

Rating the letters of the alphabet

I feel like part of my style of comedy is just rambling about shit and making loose connections between things as part of an overall bit. I think. I’m no expert on myself, unfortunately.

The inspiration for the following absolute load of shite is trying to search Tiermaker for nothing. Like, no characters in the search bar. Didn’t come up with anything. Did a search for just a space. No dice. What about just a? Surely that’ll bring up everything with an A in the title. But it didn’t, and I was somewhat disappointed.

Then my head started writing bits about letters and that’s how we got here. This is probably really stupid, but maybe it’ll at least be fun. Wordplay is cool, though maybe not my strong suit? Anyway.

A: A is one of the two letters that’s also just a word, as you’ve just seen, giving it a necessary promotion in rank. Not a lot of things get to double up like that, though with the “an” ligature maybe it’s actually a double or nothing. But because of the confusing common connection crossing contexts for the character, it gets somewhat awkward to talk about the letter in conversation. An A, in my opinion, A does not get. 4/5.

B: B is also just a word letter but unlike A when you write it out you have to stick a few extra letters on to make it work, making it not as good. But B’s association with bees isn’t enough, because in the year of our lord, like, 2019 or something, it would become inextrixably linked with shite memes as the B emoji became king. And I just don’t respect that. It’s otherwise a fine letter, dragged down by its company. 2/5.

C: Oh come on now, the word doesn’t even have a C in it anymore! You can sea the see without any of our tertiary letter’s involvement whatsoever. Not to mention how its two main sounds are just copies from other letters wholesale. C must be confusing to non-english speakers, I’d imagine. C as a grade gets what C as a grade typically entails for many a schoolchild. 3/5.

D: It would be remiss of me not to give a sterling grade to the D. Why, none of us would be here without it. While many a youth may find the D to be quite a humourous subject, I assure you I’m taking it with the gravest of sincerity when I say the D has got to be one of the best letters of all.

And by D I mean deity, of course. Wait, what did you think I meant? 5/5.

E: The absolute absurdity that is the E meme elevates E efficiently enough to excel beyond many another vowel. However, it is also the single most common letter in the English language, going so far as to open the damn name. It’s to the point where someone made a point of writing an entire book without using it, and I think Gadsby is cool but mayhaps avoiding fifth uncial was a bit showy. I can’t help but mark it down for the sake of hipster cred. 3/5.

F: F is for Fuck. I like the word Fuck. F is for paying respects. I think the military-industrial complex has poisoned our cultural landscape to the point that a reference to one of its most prized productions’ awkward moments has become one of the most colloquially used meme letters in existence, And That’s Terrible. 3/5, I’m conflicted.

G: Man literally who the fuck cares about G. What is it even good for. Just an absolute waste of a letter, total shithouse. It’s NATO equivalent is Golf, the Worst Sport, too. Who asked for any of this? Just use a J instead, it’s cooler. 1/5.

H: I’ve seen “Hhh” used enough times in written forms of pornography to not consider it a Horny Letter. That and it, being short for Hentai, is often used to denote adult material in Japan. Basically what im saying is, I think this gets worse the less sex-positive you are. 6/9.

I: I think I’ve said enough about letter words already, but I is another high-tier one because like A I is just it’s own thing. It can also, however, be a bit confusing, looking just like an l a lot of the time, and having to constantly capitalise it is a pain in the ass. I also don’t have a particularly high opinion of myself, so a high opinion of I seems disingenuous. 3/5.

J: Clearly the best letter, hands down. I’m definitely not biased. There are so few letters as underappreciated by J- a fact many a person who’s had to do that “assign yourself an alliterative adjective” icebreaker game has had to reckon with. Because it appears to be a lot more popular with names than with words, and that just kind of sucks. 6/5.

K: K has in some circles managed to bump off its partner to become yet another letter word, though in a very informal abbreviated sense. However, when you’re looking into scientific fields, eventually said partner returns, having lost some weight on the trip down to absolute zero. This all makes complete sense in my head, and I’m sure is a lot less funny to anyone who doesn’t live there. 4/5.

L: I’d argue that L doesn’t cop its namesake. It’s a really useful letter, loads of words use it, especially in pairs, and my ADHD-brain thought it was fun to just say LLLLLLLLLLL for a bit while I was thinking about this so I guess that’s staying in now. Put me down as an L Lobbyist. 4/5.

M: Mmmmmm. M&Ms. But also it’s kind of a pain to write. Hmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm. 3/5.

N: I’d like to fight whoever decided we should have two letters that sound so similar right bloody next to each other in the alphabet. Actually, who the fuck even decided the alphabet’s order to begin with? Maybe it should go M to N, that’ll bloody show you. 2/5.

O: Our fourth vowel, and perhaps one of the underappreciated ones. O is similarly a letter word, but a much more common one considering its use as an interjection. It’s also one half of a very powerful letter combo, as we’ll see. 4/5.

P: There’s the other half. Many a joke involves OP as a phrase, whether it mean overpowered or original poster, and the letters’ adjacency is a lovely bit of serendipity. Whenever I say P out loud, on its own, I have to resist the urge to do some incredibly shitty beatboxing, which may or may not be a good sign. 4/5.

Q: I was going to write some very harsh words about Q, and its dependency on U, but then I realised that that is probably hate speech against the disabled. It still sucks, though. 0/5.

R: R is the one I am most struggling to think of things to say about. R is another letter that’s just kinda there. I’m sure the Roberts and Rachels of the world would disagree with me, though. It’s also the name of a program that I know has traumatised a lot of young biologist wannabes, slapping us with a whole pile of maths and statistics when we just wanted to look at cool plants and shit. Or in my case, cool cells and shit. 2/5.

S: The most overrated consonant, but also the thing that makes plurals not a pain in the ass. However I’m going to lean towards giving S a positive rating, if only because it’s associated with snakesssss (and serpentine characters who can talk) and I like those. 3/5.

T: I don’t think T gets enough credit as one of the pillars of the English language. A lot of very common words feature it, and yet it feels like it never gets the same level of credit as big shots like S or half of the vowels. T is like the character actor of the alphabet, is basically what I’m saying. 4/5.

U: Ah, the letter Americans hate for some reason. I think this is actually commentary on the history of American politics. Because throughout history, America has been extremely selfish and self-centered, while attempting to present a positive image that people are finally seeing past. They only entered WWI and WWII when it was convenient for them, they started wars and initiated coups in even their allies for petty ideological reasons, and they’ve gone to war with several countries and funded wars with several others seeming just for shits and giggles. Because apparently if you’re not an American, then you’re not one of them, and that means they hate U. 4/5.

V: I actually think V is underrated. It’s a fun sound. That’s it, no joke here. It’s neat, I like it. 4/5.

W: This may come as a shock to you, but double-u over here is actually two Vs! unless you’re writing in cursive, but fuck cursive. The French actually have it right on this one, naming it double-v (pronounced doobleh-vay). Add in the fact that it’s literally just M upside down, and you’ve got a pretty shite letter. 1/5.

X: There’s a reason literally every “A is for Apple” thing you see made for kids uses Xylophone for X, and that’s because there are no commonly used words that start with it. Seriously, it’s all just scientific terms- I’d argue X-Ray is more common than Xylophone in common parlance, but also, who wants to explain imaging to a kid. It doesn’t even get a second page of words on Dictionary.com. X also has implications as a letter word, that I’d rather avoid at the moment. 2/5.

Y: Ah, Ygreck, everyone’s favourite “what the fuck, France?” moment. Between that and being sorta kinda not really a vowel, Y prompts its own question more often than I’d care to admit. 2/5.

Z: As a (technical) member of the generation associated with this letter- on the one hand, I’m sorry, on the other, y’all have it coming. The final letter of the alphabet, one of the other ones worth 10 in scrabble (and yet X isn’t???), and one we probably got pretty sick of in the early 00s when it was everywhere- ironically, when most of the generation was getting born. 2/5.

And that’s the lot of them. I hope this didn’t alienate any non-English speakers too hard. It’s probably fine.

Join me for more bullshit next time I have another stupid idea. I mean, tomorrow.

[sytycdinternational]

Eurovision 2021 pre-show ranking #39 - #27

Less than a week until Eurovision 2021 is upon us. The wait has been gruelling but now it is almost here and finally my thirst for more Eurovision will be quenched. Also rushing this out last-minute before the opening ceremony tomorrow.

I’m only taking the official music videos and the national final performances (if those exist) into account so I expect my ranking to be turned upside-down once the live-shows happen as per usual, especially with how insanely strong this year’s entries are. I won’t talk much about last year’s cancelled entries because losing an entire year’s worth of songs still hurts but I thought it would be fun to do a little comparison for each country about which year’s song I prefer, shown in brackets at the end of each entry.

...

39. Uku Suviste - The Lucky One - Estonia 🇪🇪: It’s like Estonia took Sweden’s formula of handsome guy singing inoffensive pop songs, only worse, for the last three years. Come on, Estonia, you can do so much better. "Rändajad" (2009), "Siren" (2010), "Kuula" (2012) and "Goodbye To Yesterday" (2015) are proof for that. (2020/2021)

38. Tusse - Voices - Sweden 🇸🇪: I feel painfully indifferent about this and that saddens me. Sweden tends to send very polished pop entries that work for me more times than not, but geez, I can’t but feel like this song is incredibly bland. There’s no particular emotion it evokes in me, neither through the musical arrangement nor the lyrics. It does have ear worm quality since I sometimes catch myself summing the chorus , albeit dispassionately, so I can see it doing well voting-wise just because people will remember the song and its anthem-like qualities. (2020/2021)

37. Tornike Kipiani - You - Georgia 🇬🇪: I appreciate with all my heart that Georgia keeps sending bold but quality entries that often go against Eurovision trends and every time I am heart-broken that the general public doesn't appreciate them enough for them to reach the final ("Three Minutes to Earth" (2014), "For You" (2018), "Keep on Going" (2019). This year’s entry is equally bold in its simplicity but I fear this time it’s simply a misfit for this show no matter how you look at it. It’s just too relaxed and mundane. It stings a bit since Tornike’s song last year “Take Me As I Am“ was one of my top favorites. Oh man, I still get chills when I listen to that one. The only reason this is higher than Sweden is because it’s kinda wholesome. (2020/2021)

36. RAFAŁ - The Ride - Poland 🇵🇱: It has a peppy beat that I can get behind and I like watching the MV for the dancers. I'm a simple man lol. Choreography is done by Agustin Egurrola, one of the judges on SYTYCD Poland when it was still on, so that’s neat. Maybe I’ll check out the new dance show “Dance Dance Dance” that sorta replaced it. I’m only three seasons behind anyway.  (2020/2021)

35. James Newman - Embers - United Kingdom 🇬🇧: I feel a bit bad because this is one of the greatest efforts the UK has spent on ESC in the last few years, but still, I just... don’t care for it? It somehow feels sterile and that’s just something I can’t party to. I guess it’s a pity the UK decided to actually try seriously competing for once by sending a bop only for all the other countries to bring their A-game this year. (2020/2021)

34. ROXEN - Amnesia - Romania 🇷🇴: I think I like the word combination “self-love amnesia” but that’s one of the very few elements I find interesting about this entry. (2020/2021)

33. TIX - Fallen Angel - Norway 🇳🇴: Super catchy so I can forgive the corny mess of a stage performance that he’ll likely replicate for the actual show. I did expect something better from the guy who co-wrote Ava Max’s “Sweet But Psycho”. (2020/2021)

32. Hooverphonic - The Wrong Place - Belgium 🇧🇪: I guess the Belgish delegation realized that using singers barely old enough to drink to sing the moody songs they’ve been putting out the past few yeaars might not be such a good idea after the disaster in 2019. While I do think that Hooverphonic is experienced enough to avoid the same pitfall I can’t help but think that the song simply goes nowhere and ends up in an uncomfortable swamp. (2020/2021)

31. Senhit - Adrenalina - San Marino 🇸🇲: Speaking of songs that go nowhere... I wish I liked this more since it's obvious how enthusiastic Senhit feels about this show with the myriads of professionally produced ESC covers she made and the amount of artistry she pours in everything. The entry itself is simply too monotone for me. Not feeling the hype about Flo Rida tbh. (2020/2021)

30. Benny Cristo - omaga - Czech Republic 🇨🇿: I think similarly to his song last year it will take the live performance for me to really warm up to it. The “Here’s Johnny Benny” moment in the MV is absolute gold though. (2020/2021)

29. Jendrik - I Don't Feel Hate - Germany 🇩🇪: The chaotic energy is as endearing as it is tiring for me. Let’s hope the German delegation doesn’t regret choosing this over El Diablo which was one of the songs which made the final rounds of the internal selection before it was given to Cyprus. (2020/2021)

28. Fyr & Flamme - Øve Os På Hinanden - Denmark 🇩🇰: I’m digging the retro vibes. Also cute dance moves from the singers.  (2020/2021)

27. Vincent Bueno - Amen - Austria 🇦🇹: The generally positive and uplifting vibes of this song belie the sorrowful lamentation of a broken man to a higher being about what’s been taken from him. That’s the implications I got from this and it would align well with what’s been reportet about his personal life, explaining the sudden shift from the dancey songs Vinecnt is known for to gospel light. (2020/2021)

Oh, and because I feel bad for ranking Uku last, here’s a picture of him running to god knows where.

[emerald-echeveria-plant]

I feel as though I will get to or motivate myself to finish my little series of the crossover I made. So here are some things that would've happened

- Bonnet asking Ironbeard if he's a good captain. Ironbeard lies that he is so that he won't ask him again. Bonnet having an underlying feeling that he was indeed lying.

- ePiC fight scene between Octavia and Sao. Sao wins.

- Fleance trying to flirt with BEN and BEN ends up hurting his feelings with his sass.

- Cletus and Erik playful bantering with each other and might end up being possible frenemies.

- Bonnet and Haggis fist fighting

- Bonnet deciding to let Haggis live after beating the heck out of him. Lol he shouldn't have done that.

- Davy Jones cameo

- Billy and Islay knowing each other from being apart of an old crew, where they were once friends. Sorta implication they liked each other then but Islay was too emotionally closed off to start a relationship.

- Baozhai trying not to be a creep towards Flint so that he could actually like her back

- Flint slowly liking Baozhai as a friend.

- Baozhai and Flint sharing cute moments together

- Flint denying he's in love with Baozhai, even though he kinda is.

- Baozhai sharing her past with Flint. Flint kinda gets uncomfortable after she carefully describes how she murdered two families that ruined her life and mental state.

- Flint sharing a bit of his own past with Baozhai.

- Islay slowly letting herself open up emotionally.

- Islay and Billy having some of their own romantic plot line going on. Baozhai poking fun at Islay.

- "awww did someone get bit by the love bug or are you feeling all of that on your own? 😏" - Baozhai

- "oh shut up!" Islay

- The squad coming across an abandoned village. They see skeletal remains of the villagers that once lives there. Sends chills down some of their spines.

- A large beast attacking the four. Billy gets pretty messed up when trying to fight it. Islay and Flint trying their best to kill the beast. Baozhai is the one to slaughter it if it weren't for the help of her friends.

- Islay patching up Billy and they end up sharing a rather tender moment with each other.

- Baozhai having a mental breakdown about how she hates being insane and wishes she wouldn't have thoughts about wanting to hurt other people. How she misses thinking like a regular person. Flint trying his best to comfort her. It works and she's all okay again.

- Flint and Baozhai cuddling together ლ(◕ω◕ლ)

- Flint worrying he's getting too attached to Baozhai.

- Islay and Billy getting caught making out lmao

- Bonnet sharing with Leonid that he was once apart of a war. After he left said war, he made a promise to himself he wouldn't kill another man ever again. Makes it clear why he couldn't bring himself to kill Haggis in the first place.

- Leonid suggesting he may or may have not been apart of the Russian mafia.

- Erik getting revenge against Leonid for kicking his ass by cutting off his hand.

- Noëmie having to solve puzzle with Sao while they're stuck in some sort of death trap that's causing the room to get smaller. They survive and both swear to never speak of helping each other.

- Baozhai and Flint weirdly acting like a couple. You know like hugging, semi flirting, and laughing

- Archie after spying on Flint and Baozhai, finds out that they're getting too close with each other. He doesn't know what to think so he tells someone about what he saw. Archie telling Cletus about what he saw. Cletus then telling Noëmie, Noëmie then telling Fleance, Fleance than telling Leonid, Leonid telling Ironbeard, and Ironbeard telling Bonnet. It comes off as a rumor which Bonnet doesn't care too much about. He thinks Baozhai isn't truly in love with him and that its just a short-lived crush.

- Haggis on the other hand, hearing through the grapevine goes: >:O

- "One of MY crewmates was caught flirtin' with one of Bonnet's BASTARD crewmates??? Oh I'm gonna teach that boy a lesson alright >:(("

- Baozhai acting less insane and bloodthirsty.

- Her obsessive thoughts of wanting to be with Flint actually turn healthy.

- Baozhai and Flint sharing a tender moment underneath the stars.

- "I know this is going to sound weird but.. when I'm around you.. I feel sane." Which means a LOT coming from Baozhai.

- Baozhai and Flint damn near kissing only to be interrupted by Islay and Billy walking in on them.

- Islay sharing a story about how she was almost killed by Warden.

- Baozhai sharing some of her own stories and pieces about her own personal life.

- Baozhai daydreaming about being married to Flint and sailing the eitherium.

- Flint knowing he's too far in with Baozhai and doesn't know wether to back out or not. Tries to get advice from Billy but he's unfortunately stuck in same situation except it's with Islay.

- They all arrive to the cave that holds the lost treasure of the Paititi. Just as they do, so does everyone else. There's plenty of treasure but not nearly enough for two pirate crews to share it. Everyone starts fighting. Again. For like the third time.

- Bonnet getting his ass beat by Haggis again and this time Haggis almost kills him instead.

- Flint and Baozhai fight even though they don't really want to.

- Baozhai doesn't want to hurt Flint, causing her to confess that she loves him. Everyone gasps in pretty surprised and stop fighting. Flint already knew because it was damn obvious from the start.

- Flint doesn't know what to do. Does he choose a girl he's been with for a few days or possibly getting his ass beaten to death by his captain. As much as he would like to be with her, he knows he can't.

- He ends up stabbing Baozhai in the chest. It doesn't kill her but it's symbolic of him breaking her heart. (I like symbolism ok aksskskkw)

- Haggis's crew wins and take all the treasure for themselves. Bonnet's crew get beat the fuck up and head back to the ship to get their wounds patched up.

- so basically Haggis: 2 Bonnet: 1

- Octavia manages to fix everyone up then save the lives of Baozhai and Bonnet. even her own. (Goddamn she's a great doctor someone give her an award..)

- Baozhai doesn't talk or interact with anyone for a few days. She's very emotionless and empty from what happened.

- "Christ, she's never been this way before. You think she'll be okay?" - Cletus

- "Who knows. That heart break sure must've messed her up real bad, poor thing.." - Noëmie.

- "Well, it was the first time she's ever been in love before. And I guess this makes it her first heartbreak as well." - Octavia

- Bonnet now laying in his bed must of the time because of how fucked up he got by Haggis. Although he does try to be a leader for his crew. Even if it hurts for him to stand up.

- Meanwhile...

- "WHOOO WE GOT THE TREASURE! FUCK BONNET AND HIS CREW! WHAT A BUNCH OF PUSSIES!"

- Haggis chuckling and patting Flint on the back. Essentially congratulating him for manipulating that "little harlot" aka Baozhai to get to the treasure.

- Flint getting drunk off his ass to get rid of his guilt for betraying Baozhai.

- Billy not knowing what's the future of his and Islay's relationship going to be.

- When Bonnet about to go to sleep, the twins tell him an eerie prediction.

- "Don't you think an iron plate would go well with your slumber..?" - Liliana

"Yes, to protect oneself from the demons that lurk in the shadows of your room or in your mind?" - Lenny

"It certainly would, especially when the clock hits at twelve." - Liliana.

- "uh.. no..?" - Bonnet

- "You'll bring a dark omen upon this eitherium if you don't." - Lilliana and Lenny.

- Bonnet slowly enters his room, paying no mind to what the twins told him. He never truly believed in their predictions...

- when the clock struck twelve at night, Baozhai entered his room and stabbed him to death.

- In the morning, none of crewmates couldn't find their captain. He wasn't anywhere on the ship or in his office. It wasn't until Baozhai told them of his fate, all while she laughs her ass off with her back turned to them.

- Fleance immediately wants to have Baozhai killed or thrown overboard for betraying their captain. In response, Baozhai punches him and stabs him in the shoulder with a dagger. She holds the same dagger against his neck.

- Fleance ends up getting to have a good look at her face. It's covered in many scars and damn near mutilated.

- Baozhai tells Fleance to never disrespect their captain again or he'll be the one thrown overboard.

- She tells everyone that she's had enough of this crew getting their asses kicked and that things are going to start changing now that she's in charge.

- How they'll overthrow the monarchy and make the eitherium a better place for all..

- Baozhai then demands them to get back to their stations as she walks back to her new office.

- Stunned with this revelation, the crew do as their told to not upset their new captain.

- At night, Islay is on the deck trying to smoke her pipe then Baozhai comes to join her.

- "Islay, just the person I wanted to see. Mind if I smoke with you?" - Baozhai, pulling out a cigarette

- "Um, sure." Islay says uncomfortably.

- "You know I didn't really except for myself to take over the role of captain. It just sort of happened."

- "You stabbing Bonnet to death just sorta happened..?"

- "Yes! It did. After feeling empty for so long, I couldn't help but feel a strange combination of rage and bloodthirst take over that night. I just had to put my hands on something. Anything. And watch the life drain from it's eyes. It could've been Noëmie, Leonid, or even you. Heh, yet I went with Bonnet.. He was a weak link of the crew anyway."

- "I mean I guess he was.."

- "... I just wanted to tell you something."

- "What is it?"

- "You were right. About everything."

- "... About what-"

- "Love. It is truly a terrible thing. First you feel that high of dopamine and the butterflies fluttering around in your stomach then the next.. the guy you like breaks your heart. Quite literally."

- "Bao, I know what I said but don't take that it first awful experience-"

- "First? Heh, you really think I'm going to go through that again???"

- "No, I'm just saying that-"

- "YOU'RE DAMN RIGHT I WON'T. I'M NEVER LETTING MYSELF GETTING BETRAYED AGAIN. FIRST IT WAS MY OWN FAMILY THEN IT WAS LETTING THAT BASTARD GET INTO MY HEAD! NO, I WON'T LET ANYONE MAKE A FOOL OUT OF ME AGAIN!"

- it's takes a moment for a Baozhai to calm down but when she does. She laughs for moment before telling Islay goodnight and heading off to sleep.

- Islay was a little shaken up by that. She tries to smoke her pipe to calm down then she sees the twins.

- "This is only the beginning of her madness..." - Liliana and Lenny

- "..."

- "Fuck my life." - Islay

So yeah that's what happens! Pretty sad but I wanted to keep that rivalry of Baozhai and Flint lmao. I wanted to write this stuff out but I never go the energy to do so. I didn't want to leave the series on a cliffhanger so I made this instead. I'm sorry that I couldn't finish it. But maybe I'll end up having the motivation to do so. Someday.

[unproduciblesmackdown]

watched the end of some guy’s amnesia: rebirth playthrough and i have some boring thoughts @halloweenhavoc have u finished the game i feel like you have more of a grasp on all this stuff than i do lmfao what with having actually played it and also probably remembering machine for pigs better

i really did not like fully piece together either the lore of the Main Story of the game nor the broader Amnesia Universe Lore lmfao but i was interested in the latter especially, but re: the former, i did like having all these other Known People associated with the protag whose fates we could all find out and shit

i’m like, sort of underwhelmed, but that’s b/c even though i was like “okay so just b/c this is a frictional-produced amnesia sequel a decade later doesn’t mean you need to hype it up like it’s gonna blow your mind just coz atdd was That big a deal” doesn’t mean i still wasn’t partially like oh but what if it is like mindblowing horror game tho......it felt a lot more like soma than atdd which isn’t in itself bad b/c soma rules but when i’m expecting it to be more like atdd it just makes things kinda bemusing and hard to recalibrate.....it was a good game though lol just like the whole time trying to figure out what the experience is gonna be i guess

anyways so like in the direction frictional’s games have gone it def feels like they’re more into Game Environments (those ruled in this game....) and being very like Thematic Story-Centric.....atdd was very stripped down and they sure got creative with that and it was as effective as it was but yeah it feels like now that they have the clout from that and the game production experience and presumably more resources and stuff that they’re progressing in This Direction which is not as atdd-esque lmao like good for them if this is the creative vision, follow those dreams and stuff

did not feel at all invested in any of this baby lore lmfaooo like it was very abstract and also i don’t care. but 10/10 for breastfeeding gameplay

i did like the Other World lore like. this is where alexander is from, Maybe?? i remember he’s mentioned as an apostate from [somewhere else] but like, is that somewhere else in another dimension or just another Region in this world lmao i don’t know. out here Inventing the amnesia potion vitae harvesting strategy, and then it’s Something Else he does that is considered heinous and they just banish him to earth lmfaooo like our problem now......and who is alexander’s wife lmfao. in atdd bad ending, when alexander portals back, does he get to come back to the shitty place where nothing’s going on but eternal vitae harvest i guess? sucks. in atdd sorta-neutral-ending, when you toss agrippa’s head through the portal and then agrippa asks [someone, i forget who....the student? weyer? or whoever??] to Help Daniel, does everyone get to go to this crappy world or are there other better dimensions lmao....also i forget how this The Other World got so shitty in the first place. something something they flew too close to the sun with their technology and it got fucked up, i forget what The Gate even is........i do like this origin story for what the fuck is up with the shadow lmfao. that like, it’s just some other alchemical Invention expressly to fuck up the vitae system?? which is sort of counter to the idea that it’s simply a Guardian of any orbs.....but then also, there was some sort of note or memory that seemed to imply that having fucked up whatever Gate they fucked up created something that sounded like maybe it was the shadow?? or was it just something Else fucked up and b/c it was like “uh oh something shitty is happening here now” i just Assumed it was the shadow.....idfk. but idk maybe since Orbs are Other World Tech For Portals the shadow is just like, Other World Tech Ruiner and if you handle one improperly the shadow will like, sense orb-jostling Lol and be On It....i don’t knowwww

i gotta admit i did love the lore tying to atdd lmfao like maybe this game would’ve been better off not really being tied to atdd but i’m still like oh yep i’m a sucker for cameos / lore about these atdd people places and things.....herbert, alexander, daniel, brennenburg, and someone else i forget who was like “i’m the first human to get to this place but i don’t have A Traveller’s Whatever so i have to die here,” rip to him.....kinda funny that vitae-harvesting is like, so Industrialized in the other world with this factory and mass-produced as it were, which is Fucked Up, and alexander got shot to earth for some mysterious terrible thing and had to invite some rando with an orb to his castle and then get his help torturing other randos with medieval instruments like. banging rocks together over there. also i don’t get what the harvesters job was? they were sure Harvesting but if the vitae is just getting Sucked thru tubes why are these guys going around breathing it in also. just like, stray air-vitae filtering system?? idk

also what was going on time-wise with this weird accelerated pregnancy. i don’t think i get Why tasi got amnesia in the first place. coincidence i guess??? and why...did she end up back in the plane wreckage. was that just where she got dropped off after they were all like. taken from Our World into the Other World and then....back into our world?? i guess??? i’m just not clear on the Timeline Of Events and how everyone got split up with some people dying and shit....was everyone getting attacked by ghuls i guess. there was a crapload of them in that one place, wasn’t there.....i also forget Where things happened lmfaooo like shit was this in Earth or The Other World.....i guess the latter it was always like, “high tech” with that art deco design shit and green light and stuff.....god i don’t know. like i already forget why richard was like, held captive and tortured. just on evil principle??? augh lmfao

also it was certainly Interesting that people turn into monsters around here with some like, magic + corruption deal going on......felt like the Lore in atdd was sort of vague but that it could Maybe tie into that sort of idea....frictional games sure will like, Metaphorically have the Self and the Non-Self But Which Is Tied To Your Self in all its stories, atdd, soma, rebirth......daniel having this past self he’s now detached from but re-learning of his past exploits.......soma copy/pasting consciousnesses.......uhhh also when it was talking about the ideal Vitae Collecting Cycle being fear, amnesia, and then Hope, and about who was the best candidates for that, i was really thinking that like, we’d learn tasi was being put through a [Hope] sequence, basically

also (rachel if ur reading this lmfao) i remember this pre-release Audio Tape that wasn’t in the gameplay that i think was like, the doctor doing an experiment on a Monster to confirm it had regenerative properties?? i thought we were gonna get a whole fucked up subplot dealing with that guy lmfao but nah just at the end......i guess soma’s promotional stuff was similar, they had all these Files and Videos and stuff which was relevant to the Lore / story but which wasn’t like, flatout in the game......i guess at some point the doctor must’ve been like, experimenting on a crew member who was sort of in the process of Turning or w/e. hank or someone i guess.....UHHH i did like “talking” to so many monsters lmfaooo like leon and crap. wild, tragic, etc.......

RIGHT and i think frictional is really creative in its like, Game Mechanics, like how relatively recently we learned that that whole thing about being told that Low Sanity makes you easier to detect in atdd, but that wasn’t true and was just put in the game to put the player more on edge? i mean, daniel keeling over for a moment if sanity gets too low is probably unhelpful in a chase but. and like, here the “sanity” thing was neat, i liked the Sound lol, i liked the flashing images and how that was like, Relevant, but also it seems like you can’t ever die in this game?? basically, ish?? which i think is neat. like, you don’t really Need to.....said it last time how it feels like the player just is still going to react as Urgently if they’re being chased by the monster lmfaooo

idk there was something other neat / creative element i think i wanted to point out as Cool but i forget (HAHA...manesima.....) i dunno the 0.0001% chance any of you are Coincidentally into amnesia at all and know what all is being talked about here and have thoughts....feel free to send me an ask or whatever.......would be inchrested in hearing other takes on it etc

OH and it didn’t feel like machine for pigs was involved at all lmfao which makes sense since it wasn’t actually produced by frictional but now i’m really struggling to remember the Lore there and if it could Conceivably tie in with descent/rebirth-verse.......oswald’s soul got actually split with Evil Orb-Corrupted Self (which!!!! i forgot there’s even the implication that maybe orb-proximity fucks you up. didn’t seem that relevant here. here magic empress fountain water fucks you up) and Amnesia’d Good (Normal-er) Self and there’s the giant machine which is gonna.....consume the world to protect it from self-destructing in another way......or, that was the reason given to oswald anyways, i remember he like sacrifices his kids to it to save them from [his visions of ww1 being an impending thing] and he doesn’t find that out till the end......his evil self tricked his good self into firing up the machine......i forget where the pig men come from or what their point is, and the machine is like, another Factory Line Vitae Harvesting thing, right?? what’s the vitae For in this case....i sure don’t fuckin know. i forget what oswald does at the end as well to like, fix things, i remember feeling sad about it even though he was a horny weirdo.....i really forget what the full picture was there or what the Orb Involvement was. anyways. idk

would be fun to see more frictional games but it seems like they’re not too interested in doing something as atdd-esque again lol, soma seems more like What Frictional Really Wants To Do, which isn’t a bad thing cuz soma rules and like. objectively i guess soma is the better game, i’m not at all mad at anyone arguing soma is better lmfao, i just sure cherish atdd and it sure is the one that made the whole [subsequent horror game defining] splash lmfao. OH YEAH and i liked they threw in another moment where someone’s been alive for ages and you unplug them and it’s like what the fuck. and i guess you do that but even Harder in the one Rebirth ending where you shadow-infect everything and all the people in the vitae-pods die......which like, it Was def creepy having all those vitae pods lmfao. conceptually fucked up.....uh yeah that’s it i guess. was a sucker for the atdd-lore-fanservice stuff lol. thought it was good but wasn’t like atdd 2.0 which is both Totally Fine and also A Bit Disappointing Of Course lol. now i’m thinking about soma some more though which is Worthy cuz that game rules and i love its story / concepts so much. and i love that you keep fisting sphincters to Save until you have to fist your forearm off. we’ve all been there. and i love the “we have the better view. :)” audio log from someone on the surface. and how the gradual reveal of the [lady you talk to throughout the game who guides you along]’s story. and the Ending. and the gradual reveal of Just What Is Going On Around Here

anyways yeah atdd rules soma rules i thought this game was good too but def is like okay you’d rather make soma than atdd and that is valid

thots????????????????

[liskantope]

Hopefully this will be my last-ever post complaining about what someone said on social media, because current events are simmering down and once they’ve reached a moderate enough hum I’m going to redouble my previous efforts to stay away from it. But the particular interaction I’m going to describe seems to have furthered my progress slightly in understanding why so many people shout their views in the way that they do and how I should learn to better accept it.

One of my “closest” Facebook friends for over a decade, whose life’s passion nowadays revolves around anti-racist work (mainly in childhood education; she is white) posted a few hours after Biden’s victory was officially called last Saturday to preach that white Biden-voters shouldn’t claim any of the credit for his victory because it was BIPOC and particularly black women who carried this election (her justification for why they “carried us” was that as a demographic group most of them voted for Biden while as a demographic group a majority of white people voted for Trump), and that nothing will be better now except for who is in the White House because “whiteness and white supremacy have not disappeared” and that “your” responsibility is not diminished and “you” are not absolved as a good white person. She ended with an exhortation to bow down and “bend your knees” to BIPOC for “saving our asses”.

(Just realized looking back at her post to write this one that the phrasing was not “bend the knee” as I repeatedly misread at the time, assuming that it was a direct reference to Game of Thrones of which I know she’s a fan, and having recently listened to this insightful 8-minute Sam Harris podcast episode which used the phrase. This is slightly unfortunate since it was the obnoxiousness of that particular phrasing which tipped me over to acting against my better judgment in not just ignoring this like I have with so many dozens of other statements. I still find it obnoxious, though, and sanctimonious, and terrible messaging, and using poor arguments about causation, and reflecting an insistence on viewing as much as possible in terms of race at all times, and the epitome of identity politics.)

So yeah, after waiting a couple of days, I broke my usual silence and wrote a very polite but argumentative response that turned out to be enough paragraphs to make me feel a little embarrassed that I would take that much of my time on it. I knew there was virtually no chance of convincing her of anything substantial, but I figured just maybe some insight into how foreign and alienating this “you are responsible for what everyone of your color does and are never good enough and have to kneel in deference to those of a color which is” messaging is bound to be to anyone who’s less in an academic bubble than we are (which is, like, most people). I made the point that individual BIPOC didn’t contribute any more than individual white people did to Biden’s victory and that if we’re going to judge blocs of voters according to race we should be blaming Cuban-Americans for Biden’s loss in Florida, and that in fact Trump gained votes from among BIPOC and lost white male votes since four years ago. I wrote that implying that the only salient feature of us individuals is race is exactly what people complain about when they use the term “identity politics” and that the results of this election suggest that maybe we’re doing something wrong with our messaging.

It wasn’t a disaster. I got a very cordial response which completely avoided ad hominem and at least engaged the points I had made while clarifying her views. I didn’t find the supposed rebuttals of my points at all convincing, of course. For instance, my complaint about treating individual voters as merely people of a certain color was met with “It’s important in anti-racist scholarship to be able to analyze demographic trends in terms of race” (I would... never disagree with this?) and that focusing on individuals allows people to only look at their own actions and those of their friends and feel too good about themselves. She also expressed skepticism about my statistics about where Trump gained/lost support, which I was able to back up with a quick Google search which pulled up a Vox article among others (I thought it was only the insufficiently committed white liberals like me who sucked at Googling?). But her own views, while still resting on axioms I fundamentally differ on, just sounded a lot more reasonable when restated? E.g. “Moments like this shouldn’t be centered on whiteness” and “the ‘good white liberals’ should be aware that they aren’t as a big of a demographic in our race as they should be” (I don’t know any white liberal who would disagree or who doesn’t realize that white people vote majority Republican or is okay with that?) and that the bowing and bending the knee was not “a literal statement” but simply meant to convey that we should greatly respect how BIPOC voters contribute. She ended with providing a long list of anti-racist activists (the only one of whom I’m familiar with is Ally Henny, who I mainly remember for statements about how I’m encased in so many layers of racism that I would never be able to peel them off if I spent my whole lifetime doing nothing but trying) as a “starting point” of study.

I replied thanking her for pointing me to sources and agreeing with her implication that I should read more with a mind towards understanding what they’re saying before spouting off any more opinions. (Guess I have to make good on that promise now.) I made clear that I see a difference between her restatements and the way she worded things in her original post and suggested that some of this might even be on me for interpreting these kinds of posts more as logical arguments when they should be understood in a slightly more poetic manner. I gently gestured towards my suspicion that the current scholarship in this area might reflect a university culture (which I am very much a part of) more than the concrete priorities and concerns of the majority of people of color, although I’m in no position to positively claim anything about this. I got no response.

Anyway, in writing my last response, a little more clicked into place for me about a different lens through which I should process all the behavior that drives me nuts in a written context online (I mainly mean social media but am being even broader than that). This is going to sound condescending but ironically it might help me to have a less condescending attitude?

The fact is -- and I just have to accept this -- that making efforts to be nuanced and to “meet people who disagree where they are at” and to aim for the truth but no farther than the truth are simply not highly-valued principles for most people (social media -users and otherwise). They may kinda-sorta agree in the abstract with these principles, but in practice they hold a much lower status than the principles of conveying anger and strong words as a sign of commitment towards Fighting Evil. Some people I know do have an “argumentation value system” closer to mine, and I know who those people are -- it really shows in what they write online. But those people are a fairly small minority.

And this alien “argumentation value system” isn’t something that really shows in casual real-life interactions very plainly at all (which of course is what almost all human interactions were up until 10-15 years ago), while in contrast social media is an environment that augments its effect.

The sooner I accept this, the more moderation I’ll be able to manage in my negative reactions. I can remind myself that there’s less fundamental disagreement on most actual issues between me and the people I know: we instead disagree on a sort of meta-level issue of how one’s views should be presented. And that issue, taken by itself, seems somehow like something more minor. I wrote a few months ago about how knowing what so many people in my life write publicly oftentimes interferes with my capacity to view them as potential intimate friends/partners. Maybe I can be a little more accepting when I recognize that the things they write which turn me off perhaps don’t come from a place of such irrationality as I thought, that the differences in our ways of thinking might not be quite so fundamental (although this differing system of values for argumentation still strikes me as something that could badly affect a marriage, say). And in the practical short term, I can ignore things that bother me more easily in the future -- instead of feeling like I’m on a tilted playing field where everyone else gets to vent without inhibition while I have to carefully monitor and qualify everything I say, I can try to just round a lot of this off in terms of different preferred writing styles and somehow that bothers me less?

A similar underlying principle holds for the things that annoy me on dating profiles, what with the collective obsession with dogs and boasts of being “fluent in sarcasm” and so on. This probably doesn’t reflect much about the way the creators of these profiles actually are as humans in real life. Not that many single women really view their dogs as the most interesting thing that ever was or will be about their lives. They just choose to have a certain style of exposition about themselves because of peculiarities of the environment of online dating sites/apps, where showing enthusiasm and individuality in some way seems to pay and the topic of dogs would seem like a pretty safe place to direct this performed enthusiasm. Doesn’t mean that it doesn’t demonstrate some aspect of incompatibility with me or that I’m not going to be more instantly attracted to those with profiles that have more refreshing things to say than stuff about how amazing dogs are or of those who *gasp* actually prefer cats or *deeper gasp* prefer not to have pets at all. But it means that I can read the dogs-and-sarcasm-enthusiast profiles a little more charitably maybe?

This slightly altered mindset is a far from perfect solution, but I think it helps. A lasting three-quarters-of-the-way disconnect from social media entirely still needs to be a goal at this point.

[whitmore]

2 questions/discussions (that arent related but I think its ok lol). 1. Sorta devils advocate/but also sincere question re: the “neither henry nor cindy faced actual consequences”. Exactly what kind of consequences are we talking about. IRL ones like jail/probation/etc? Bc otherwise it feels like, at least with Henry (and like you said it was kinda cheated by being cut short), we did get a semi redemptive “did fucked up shit, but am now attempting to rectify and do better moving forward” arc.1/2

Like what else can we ask for (that’s not a legal consequence kind of thing)? Isn’t the whole point that the sum total of your being isn’t defined by one moment or period of time. That we can and should be allowed room to do better? On the other hand I get it like oh here we go redeeming another misogynistic pos. But idk... 

(i put that part in here bc it’s relevant to this specific question) i’m not the poster of the textpost ur talking abt but. i’m willing to answer anyway bc it gives me a nice base to the discussion i want to have abt him

i’ll go into the implications of writing a character like henry another time so for now i’ll try to keep this as in-universe contained as possible for the sake of not over-meta-ing myself

the school didn’t do anything, that we know of, about henry/cindy releasing yolanda’s pictures. literally everybody blamed yolanda. she was stripped of all social standing and her class presidency. henry had been bullying her at that table for god knows how long and there’s no sign of any teacher or authority figure sticking up for yolanda. i know a lot of this is implication rather than fact, but i find it a lot easier to believe that small town nebraska high school took a stand against yolanda, rather than with her. yolanda mentions being entirely alone, not having anyone in her corner; this, assumedly, includes the school. whether over the releasing the pictures incident alone or not, the school should have stepped in and intervened in henry’s bullying of yolanda. again, all introspection, but it’s a lot more believable than a teacher standing up for her, given her personality & things she’s said abt her situation. the only one who i could even vaguely make an argument for is principal bowin, who took the mic and tried to shut everyone up i guess, but we never see bowin & yolanda truly interact again, assuming that she also abandoned yolanda after discovering the whole situation. henry never got proper reprimandation for the bullying / sharing the pictures not even in a legal sense but just in any sense at all (rereading this i realize i keep saying henry bc my rant is more centered around him & his portrayal but cindy too, given they both visibly bully her in the series & in no way is cindy off the hook in this; i just see people excuse henry for his behaviour WAY more than i see ppl excuse cindy for what she did to yolanda. actually i haven’t seen anyone at all excuse her for what she did. funny how that works)

the key thing here is that henry dying doesn’t make up for the bad shit he did to yolanda. they’re two different moral scales. i know he had the whole “i am sorry” thing and yeah i truly do believe that he’s sorry, but saying that doesn’t make up for it. yolanda was ostracized from her school, her family, her entire community. henry saying sorry was like placing a bandaid on a broken window. it doesn’t fix the entire window. “but it’s sticky!! it helps!!!” does it ‘help’? sure. does it absolve him of, idk, throwing the brick through the window? no. 

henry died bc he didn’t stand w his father. because he wanted to try & be better. which was a start, sure. his death redeemed his character, not his situation w yolanda. the fact of the matter is, his death, imo, doesn’t affect his morality over the yolanda situation at all. two different moral issues.

to get into it in a bit more of a meta-writer sense, the writing of that whole situation just irks me, if i’m being honest. there’s a hispanic girl whose clearly immigrant family is highly religious and therefore they shun her for something that isn’t her fault? it feels very. stereotypical. as i’m not hispanic i won’t speak on that part (good article here that does! i don’t entirely agree w everything it says but it’s notes on the writing of yolanda as character of colour r top notch) but on the immigrant note i’m just ! so sick of immigrants being villainized in dc media but also this idea that immigrant families are obsessed w/ the image of their family and first generations having to hold themselves to the impossible standard that their immigrant parents set up is just,, tired? give me loving immigrant families lmao anyway rant over

the funny thing is, the way i see it, is that henry was defined by precisely two things for the first like 7 episodes; being an asshole to yolanda, and being brainwave’s kid. the whole point IS that ur entire being isn’t defined by one period, except the writers literally wrote henry that way (which i don’t approve of, but that’s what they did). unfortunately henry isn’t real and his actions are not real and he’s written by a bunch of writers in a writers room and THEY reduced him to that. he was only really given that ample space to breathe and grow during his last two episodes alive, which just wasn’t enough to atone for what the writers/henry did to yolanda, especially for me.