#sort of regret

[perceremade]

this is all the most obvious stuff in the world so you might be like well. duh. but you'd be surprised by the amount of people who don't even realize people need to stop either acting like tsumugi was entirely innocent or like tsumugi wasn't hurt at all at any moment why does it have to be one or the other, other tsumugip love victimizing him too much the war wasn't an equal exchange of hurt because his trauma wasnt caused by any of the eccentrics especially natsume the pain tsumugi caused natsume will never be fully comparable to him throwing objects at him even if they're mostly over this and he still gets a little bullied by him but I think the worst he's truly been was in pleiades night when he said cruel things that even tsumugi thought he wouldn't say to him and he felt bad even if he kept punching him and stuff later it's okay because he's natsume and also he deserves it sometimes. but also even as recently as in next door it's been said that speaking of the war hurts both of them and tsumugi even refers to it as a tragedy now and has started to feel some sort of remorse even though its taken him a while and was not caused by the moral reasons that eichi felt bad over it for because he is fucked up and twisted like that and I wouldn't mind if he really did still have no remorse because he doesn't entirely regret the event itself just wouldn't want it to repeat and regrets getting people he loves hurt and letting himself feel like he's nothing and that he has no impact in the world in the process of it because he was also a mentally ill teen boy that got damaged over it just like the rest of them. and now he just wants to focus on truly making the world happy with switch and devoting himself to natsume specifically even if it is rather similar to his devotion to eichi but it's different in a way even if it kind of isn't he is constantly trying to make it up to natsume because he loves him and has felt bad over hurting him the way he did even if he couldn't recognize the damage he caused at first and natsume has been kind to him even though he was literally the leader of exfine like bro loves him and understands that exfine weren't just cruel villains even if he hates what happened and still is not fond of eichi to the point he even said he'd support him for tsumugi. these things can coexist. and he does see himself as being thrown away by eichi and was manipulated like some will say he wasn't but he literally was it's just that he wasn't manipulated in the sense that he was another victim and eichi was the true mastermind. tsumugi is aware of the fact he was bad and called himself even more evil than ibara. even if eichi truly did like him and according to keito he was eichi's biggest friend he wasnt completely blind to the manipulation he was fully aware of what he was doing and in support of eichi despite the pain they'd cause and gahh I love him forever. there's nuance looks at you with my fat eyes

[timethehobo]

Dressing the blorbo up just because. 🫢

[incoherentchanting]

this shit is so funny

[flamingpudding]

*hisssss* My comfort human!

Nightwing stared, he turned his head staring at Zatanna in a way that clearly spelled the question: Are you seeing what I am seeing?

Zatanna only gave him a shrug with a smile before focusing back on the meeting, leaving Nightwing to turn back and stare. He wasn't the only hero in the room with that reaction. There were a couple others too that reacted similarly. Only Batman appeared to be able to hold his pokerface.

Right before them was Constantine trying to explain to them all how their goverment basically fucked them over, while a 'ghost' teen was clinging to the man's shoulders glaring and hissing at them all. Worst of all Constantine was acting like the kid wasn't even there. Like there was no a white haired, black and white dressed teen hugging the man around his shoulders while glaring at them with glowing Lazarus green eyes.

"Uhm John? What's with the kid?" Green Lantern finally asked interrupting another one of the magicans rants about how screwed they were to which the Brite only glared at the hero.

"Ignore him."

"But..."

"IGNORE him."

"Maybe we should remove the child from this meeting before we continue?" Superman offered good naturally and Constantine looked pretty much done with them all, Nightwing noted. The blond waved with his hand as if telling them to 'go on try it'.

The heroes exchanged glances. Before Superman moved forward reaching out to remove the teen....

...and promptly got bitten. Nightwings eyes widened as he noticed the teen actually broke kryptonian skin!

The teen then proceeded to hiss at them while clutching onto Constantine protectively. The magican only let out a suffering sigh and muttered something about never touching a core again.

"My comfort human! Get your own!"

[shanastoryteller]

The day his deal comes due, Sam goes missing.

Dean tells himself it’s nothing, that he’s gotten caught up in some research, some last ditch, hail mary nonsense and that he’s just turned his phone off and everything’s fine, that he wouldn’t do something stupid, that he wouldn’t break his promise.

He tells himself that for the first two minutes after he cracks his eyes open and sees the empty bed across from him, and the first time his call goes straight to voicemail, and not much after that. Sam’s broken his promises over things significantly less important to him than his brother’s life.

Dean is dressed and in the Impala five minutes later, heart thudding wildly in his chest. He calls Bobby, Ellen, everyone he can think of, but none of them have heard from Sam, none of them have eyes on him. Sam was with him last night, even if he boosted a car, there’s only so far he can get.

He keeps calling, keep searching, desperate to stop whatever he’s trying to do, to find him, to see his brother one last time before he’s dragged to hell. To make sure Sam is going to be okay after he’s dragged to hell. But the hours tick down, the sun sets, and he can’t find a trace of him. He’s so exhausted and heart sick that when he goes to call Sam again it takes him a long time to read the number on his phone, eyes swimming, the time not making any sense.

1:03

That’s not possible.

That’s not –

His phone rings, blocking out the time with Bobby’s name across the screen, and he answers it but his throat is too thick to say anything.

“Dean?” Bobby says tentatively. “Are you – I got an email from Sam. It just said, I mean, did–“

“What did it say, Bobby?” he asks, even though he’s sure he knows.

Bobby sucks in a breath at his voice, because he knows just as well as Dean that he should be screaming in hell right now, not answering his phone. “To take care of you.”

Dean drops the phone, hears Bobby still talking as he grips the wheel and presses his forehead against the back of his hands. This is what he’d been afraid of. This is why he hadn’t wanted to mess with the deal in first place. This is the one thing he’d begged Sam not to do.

It's easy to find a crossroad.

The demon is laughing at him when it shows up, wicked grin in a pretty face. “That didn’t take you long, boy.”

It’s a different demon than the one he delt with, obviously, but Dean figures they all know the same shit, since demons are a bunch of gossips. “This wasn’t the deal. My brother lives and I die.”

“You traded your soul for your brother’s life,” she corrects, so amused by all this that all he wants to do is kill her, to exorcise her, to make her scream. “Just like your father traded his for yours. There’s no reason Sammy can’t make his own trade. Man, but is your family fucked up. Maybe if you’d just settled down like little Sammy wanted, you wouldn’t all be bargaining for each other’s lives like haggling at a flea market.”

“Untrade it,” he snaps. “My soul for him alive, come on, no year, no waiting, you bring him back and take me to hell right now.”

She laughs in his face. “You don’t have anything to bargain with, boy.”

“My soul,” he repeats, “That’s what this is about, isn’t?”

“Oh, it’s what it’s all about,” she says. “But Sammy’s a clever boy. You know that, don’t you? He didn’t trade his soul for your life, he didn’t have to. You didn’t die. No, he traded it for your soul. Sorry, honey, but your credits been declined.”

At first he doesn’t understand. Sam traded his soul for Dean’s, exactly, so there’s no reason he can’t trade it right back. Then he gets it.

She sees the exact moment it clicks, the moment despair and horror sweep across his face too quickly for him to stop them. “That’s right. Little brother owns your soul now. For some reason he didn’t think you’d take proper care of it. You have it because that’s where he wants it, but no one will be making any deals with you, Dean Winchester. You can’t sell a soul you don’t own.”

“You can’t,” he has to clear his throat, “you can’t just come in and change things at the eleventh hour-”

“Eleventh hour?” she interrupts. “Sammy made his deal eleven months ago.”

His mouth is so dry he can’t speak.

“Isn’t it funny?” she asks, head cocked to the side. “All this time, the deal he’s been trying to get out of wasn’t yours, but his own. Maybe the two of you might have even managed it, except you just wouldn’t help, would you? Insisting that he not research, that he not look for a way out, and he spent so much time trying to convince you, coaxing you to talk about your feelings when he knew you were safe, all he because he thought it would make you feel better when he was gone, because he couldn’t tell you the truth and talk about how scared he was, so talking about your fear was as close as he could get.”

Dean’s going to be sick. “Don’t – please, please, I’ll give you anything-”

“You don’t have anything,” she says, gleeful. “You want to know why I agreed? The thing that made it just too delicious to refuse? Sammy’s down there, just starting in on an eternity of torture, and all he has to do get out of it is give up your soul. It’s his, after all, and he can put the original deal back in place any time he chooses. Just one moment of weakness on his end and his beloved big brother will be on the rack instead.” She sighs happily. “It’s almost as good as anything we’re doing to him down there, the knowledge that if he slips up for even a moment then it would all be for nothing. I couldn’t have found a way to twist the knife deeper if I tried.”

There’s vomit crawling its way up his throat and he has to swallow it down before he can speak. “I can’t – I’ll do whatever you want, please, there has to be something.”

She leans forward, cruelty and delight shining in her eyes. “The only thing you can do is what you’ve been telling your precious baby brother to do for the past year. Accept it. Move on. Live a good life so his sacrifice isn’t in vain.”

God. How can she – how can Sammy expect him to –

He’s doubling over, finally upchucking what little he’s ate today, and he’s dry heaving on the dirt when he hears the fading sound of her laughter.

This can’t be real. This has to be Hell, he has to be in it right now. He has to be.

[steddiealltheway]

The upside down is colder than Steve remembers.

To be fair, he only wearing a vest, pants, and no shoes at the moment, and he may be actively bleeding out even with the bandages because of the damn bats but… he just doesn’t remember it being this cold.

He probably didn’t spend long enough in the tunnels to truly get a feel for things. But now that he’s fully here, he can’t imagine what it must’ve been like for Will.

The place is dark enough to even give Steve nightmares although he has Robin, Nancy, and Eddie at this side. How did Will survive with no one?

Steve looks down and carefully steps over a vine as he makes his way through the woods. Did Will ever step on-

“Is this a bad time to mention that I haven’t kissed anyone?”

Steve and the girls turn to Eddie, giving him looks of confusion at the random outburst.

Eddie keeps walking, staring at the ground as he tries not to activate the hive mind. “I’m just saying, it kind of feels like the end of the world here, and it makes you think. Like, do I really want to die a virgin? Not really, but dying without kissing anyone… I feel like that’s a bigger problem in my book.”

Robin and Nancy share the same look of confusion mixed with an air of why are you talking to us about this? But Steve thinks he gets the nervous rambling. He wouldn’t want to die unkissed either.

Eddie slowly stops and turns around, finally noticing that the three of them stopped when he made his first comment. He just stares at them for a moment before sighing, “Forget I said anything. I just hate walking in silence with all these thoughts of impending doom.”

With that, the girls start walking again, quickly catching up to Eddie, but Steve struggles as he thinks a little too hard about what Eddie said instead of thinking about not stepping on a vine. So he compromises speed for a very important thought.

Eddie wants to kiss someone. Probably. Definitely.

He can’t kiss Nancy because she’s with Jonathan, and Steve’s pretty sure Nancy would not be the greatest choice of a first kiss - since she would be unenthusiastic.

And Robin… well. She would be equally as unenthusiastic, probably even more so.

And really, everyone must be thinking the same thing. Because there’s one obvious solution.

“I’ll kiss you,” Steve announces as he steps over a vine. He watches as the three of them freeze in front of them, and Eddie almost even trips on a vine.

Once he catches up to them, Steve says, “It’s the clear solution to the problem.”

Robin shoots him a look of bewilderment and mouthes what??

Steve just looks away from her. It’s not a crazy thought really. Eddie wants to kiss someone before the world maybe ends, and Steve is just a really generous person who would like- enjoy- no, volunteer very very generously to help the good cause.

“You’re kidding, right?” Eddie asks.

And oh. Steve hadn’t really thought about how Eddie might not want to kiss him. Shit. He shakes his head. “I’m not kidding, but I wouldn’t do it unless you wanted to. And it’s okay that you don’t. Let’s just keep going.”

Eddie reaches out and grabs his arm. “I never said that I didn’t want to,” he says quickly.

Steve’s pretty sure he hears Robin snort at the comment, and he can sees Nancy trying to hide an amused smile behind her hand. He ignores them and puts his hands on his hips. “Alright.”

“Okay,” Eddie says.

They both stare at each other not moving.

“We’re going to give you some space,” Robin says, grabbing Nancy’s hand and pulling her deeper into the woods.

Steve doesn’t pay much attention to them as they walk away, he’s too busy staring at Eddie. And yeah, he’s a good looking guy. He knew that from high school whenever he would go on his rants, and Steve had an excuse to stare. And really the thought of kissing him is definitely not the worse and actually… he’s kind of looking forward to it, if the fast beating of his heart is any indication.

Eddie though, he looks… scared. Maybe just nervous. But his expression definitely isn’t in any way happy.

Steve takes a step toward him and softly says, “We don’t have to do this, okay? And it’s okay if you don’t want to.”

Eddie shakes his head and laughs humorlessly. “It’s not that I don’t want to it’s just… you’re Steve Harrington.”

“And?”

“And that name means something. And it shouldn’t be tangled up with my name.”

Steve raises his eyebrows at him. “I’m pretty sure we already crossed that line a while ago.”

“But you know what I mean,” Eddie sighs, looking at the ground.

Yeah, he does know what he means. But… “The world might end. I think there are stranger things than you and me kissing.”

Eddie shakes his head. “I think that would be the most shocking thing out of all of this.”

“Then get ready for me to rock your world, Munson,” Steve says with a smirk, stepping closer and brushing a curly strand of hair out of his face.

Eddie takes a deep breath and settles his hands on Steve’s waist above the wounds he’s forgotten about. “Is this… okay?”

Steve nods and wraps his arms around Eddie’s shoulders. “Yeah. Is this?”

Eddie just hums mhm, his eyes get a little wider and his cheeks flush a deeper pink.

Steve can’t help but look over Eddie’s face, taking in what he looks like at the closer proximity when he’s allowed to look. His eyes wander down to where Eddie’s full lips are slightly parted as if they’re just waiting for him to kiss them. But Steve looks back into Eddie’s dark eyes, searching for hesitation but only sending nerves and anticipation.

“I like that you’re the same height as me,” Steve randomly blurts out.

“Why’s that?”

Steve feels a blush creep up his neck. “Because my neck won’t strain when I kiss you.” Eddie laughs, and Steve decides that if the world really is coming to an end, he should be fully honest. “Plus, it’s easier to look at your eyes when they’re at my level.”

Eddie’s grin turns into a soft smile. His eyes glance down at Steve’s lips.

He knows the moment has come. “I’m going to kiss you now, if that’s okay.”

“It’s more than okay,” Eddie says, leaning in closer.

Steve smiles before closing the distance between them and kissing Eddie slowly as if they have all the time in the world. He breaks the kiss and pulls back enough to take in Eddie's expression - eyebrow raised in astonishment, lips slightly parted, and eyes still closed.

And yeah, they might not make it to tomorrow, plus Eddie looks hot. So, Steve doesn’t pull away. Instead, he kisses him again, this time with much more fervor and… yes, tongue. Sue him. He just wants to make Eddie’s first (and second) kiss memorable.

Eddie’s hands press into Steve’s back, pulling him closer as Steve slows the kiss, needing air. He pulls back and breathes in deep, staring at Eddie’s kiss swollen lips and feeling… many things.

But instead of giving into those feelings, Steve just pats Eddie on the arm and says, “See, you’re a natural.” As soon as he walks away, Steve wants one of the vines to drag him far far away so he doesn’t have to think about what he just said. Christ. He’s not smooth.

As soon as he catches up to Robin, she practically yanks him back so Eddie and Nancy can wander off out of earshot.

Steve crosses his arms and stares at her. “What?”

“Don’t ‘what’ me. You know exactly what this is about,” Robin says, jabbing a finger into his chest.

Steve winces. “Okay. Yes. I kissed Eddie. But what else was I supposed to do? Make you or Nance kiss him? No way.”

“You realize that he was just thinking out loud, right? You turned his thought into an invitation.”

Steve shrugs and walks toward the other two, trying to make sure they don’t go too far. “It sounded like an invitation to me,” he says with a shrug.

“I’m sure it did,” Robin mutters.

Steve turns to glare at her.

Robin sighs and lays a hand on his arm. “You can talk to me, you know? Even if you’re in the process of figuring things out and can’t get a true read of things.”

Steve turns and looks back at Eddie, noting how his heart beats a little faster and his body wants more than anything to get closer to him. He looks back and Robin and asks, “How obvious am I being?”

The tension in Robin’s shoulder goes away slightly at the question, and she smiles. “With the ‘you’re a natural’ comment? Totally fooled. No one would guess a thing.”

Steve’s jaw drops. “You were watching that?”

“How could I not? And do I regret it?” Robin pauses before answering her question, “A little when you started using tongue.”

“Jesus, Robin,” Steve says, trying to sound annoyed, but he can’t help but laugh.

Robin smiles and nudges him. “It seems like you have a type.”

Steve raises an eyebrow before he looks to where Robin is staring. He watches as Nancy and Eddie talk quietly about something, both sharing a small smile, amusement evident in their big round eyes, and dark, curly hair framing their faces. Maybe Robin has a point.

“Maybe I do,” Steve says as Eddie glances back at him and smiles. When he turns back, Steve asks Robin, “Do you think we could talk more about it when we’re not in an alternate dimension, and I have time to think about things?”

“Of course,” Robin says and squeezes his arm. “But for now, I’m going to give you things to think about!” she announces before running ahead to Nancy and quickly starting some type of hushed conversation.

Steve looks at where Eddie lingers behind the girls and quickly runs up to him, deciding maybe he can figure things out now. And maybe he can verbally thank him for saving his ass instead of just kissing him and hoping he gets the message.

Gosh, he doesn’t know if he can get through this without getting distracted by his lips. But he’s going to try.

(And he’s going to fail)

[bamsara]

was anyone going to tell me there are fanlore pages about me and my works or did i have to find that out by myself when i tried searching for one of my tumblr posts in a google search bar

edit: i just read through the solar lunacy one and some of the details on there are just kind of....wrong. lmao

edit: there's one for my iz fics??

[leal-hound]

spoilers for my fanfic but i dont know if ill have the energy to finish it, so here's some uh oh doodles

[puppetmaster13u]

Prompt 149

Danny is not the ghost king. In fact, he’s never going to be the ghost king. 

However, that doesn’t stop him from getting summoned, which is stressful. First of all, he has school to deal with, second of all, he’s just a lil baby ghost so shouldn’t even be able to be summoned, and three, his new ghost-dad gets a… tiny bit upset. Not at him, but he can only talk him out of destroying a world thanks to some idiot-cults so many times before there’s the temptation to let him do so. 

[lilithofpenandbook]

Sometimes Severus comes up to Minerva. Right up behind her when she's busy. He'll stand there for a good minute as she works on marking assignments and cursing the boy's youthful energy and brilliant eyes- both of which directly responsible for his finishing his work in half the time it takes her.

"What is it, Severus?" Minerva sighs. Might as well get the obligatory nonsense over and done with, she was due a dose of Severus's antics by now (Merlin forbid he go more than three days without bothering her with nonsensical questions or infuriating wit).

"Am I ugly, Minerva?" he asked. Never there was a being with such innocence in their voice.

Minerva took a moment to take in a breath and silently call on all her patience and all her strength. "Yes, very." Her tone was blunter than the knives used to decorate at Halloween- an incident with some particularly idiotic third years had them ban anything sharper than the corners of a book during the Halloween celebrations.

Severus gasped as if stabbed. "What? Minerva, I thought we were friends!"

Minerva snorted. "Any time we interact, it's completely against my will."

"Minerva! you lie so shamelessly it shocks me." Severus made as if to swoon, a hand clutching the right of his chest.

"You must be shocked; your heart isn't where it should be."

Honestly, Minerva had to admire the fact that the insolent little kitten did not falter in his dramatics with her pointing out the key flaw in his act. If anything, he seemed to be encouraged.

"Ay! The pain of the shock, it has spread throughout my chest! Ah, I cannot breathe!" Severus swayed on his feet, leaning against the chair that Minerva was sitting in. "Oh, how your lie shocks me!"

"Well, then, you had better tell me what exactly I lied about," Minerva said briskly, "before you gasp all the air out of your skinny little lungs, laddie."

"You said," the boy said, a sudden glint in his eye and none of the apparent weakness, standing to face her and one of those long, delicate fingers pointed straight at her, "you said, that our interactions are without your will."

"That is no lie, what part of this looks like it's my will?" Minerva replied, knowing full well she wasn't going to appreciate the cheeky answer Severus had prepared for her.

"Why, the part where you remain for my company, mother," Severus replied, his voice light. "Surely, if you didn't want this, you would have, in your infinite wisdom, simply have employed your great power and assumed your famous feline form and just walked away from me."

Minerva fought her smile. His cheek was infuriating while his logic impeccable. "Perhaps I am simply conversing my energy, you arrogant wee rascal."

"You? Too lazy to avoid a nuisance?" Severus scoffed. "Minerva, you wound me. Don't you know how I know you? You've done much more to avoid the mildest of annoyances, do you truly think I believe that you are here against your will merely to converse your energy?"

Minerva let him see the flicker of a smile disgusted as a smirk, letting the bothersome raven have a little treat for his cleverness, hinting to him that he had essentially won this particular argument. "At my age you no longer have the patience to waste on annoyances. You learn to value your peace. You will understand that some day, I hope, little one."

"And if I die, my hair still black and my skin still smooth?"

Merlin, did the child have a turn towards the morbid. Minerva ignored the voice in her that told her that this would have been a retort of her own had she been in a similar conversation.

"Then you'll die a fool."

"A fool, perhaps, but my funeral will be the biggest," he replied, moving to sit on her desk and grabbing the biscuit jar. Minerva intercepted, lifting it from his grip and replacing it with a towel. His protests died in his confusion at the towel, and Minerva huffed and began to wipe his hands as if he was a child. She did not trust him to correctly clean his hands after handling goodness knows what when experimenting with his potions and she didn't care if he knew it.

"Aye, and how did you figure that?" she asked.

"Surely if I die young, I shall be the first. Therefore you all will be part of the funeral-"

"What makes you think I would want to attend your funeral, you little rascal?" She let go of his hands, almost satisfied that they weren't contaminated.

Severus ignored her and instead took a biscuit from the jar. "You will all be there, therefore I will have the biggest funeral. If I die old, you all shall be gone, so my funeral will be the smallest."

Minerva tried not to think of how depressing that sounded, how lonely it seemed. For a brief moment she felt guilty for being so old and he so young. She involuntarily could see him in her mind's eye, going through their funerals until he stood alone. She and the others- Rolanda, Pomona, Poppy, even Fillus and Hagrid- they were all of an age, weren't they? They could expect their lives to reach the end around the same time, surely? Severus was but a child next to them, he'd stand alone one day.

Minerva tried to ignore the ache in her chest at the thought of him standing alone. Merlin, no. He was far too young. No.

"You truly are besotted with the morbid and the miserable, you melanchonic masochist," she said, her tone just a trifle too sharp to be a simple retort.

Severus paused, swallowing the biscuit. Then he answered. "Ah, but the morbid is much more fascinating, the forbidden has a certain thrill, dear mother." His voice was a little softer, and his fingers, slightly coated in crumbs, were gentle when he tapped her forehead. He was sorry he upset her.

"You and your thrills," Minerva scolded, "yet you cannot even eat a biscuit without making a mess of yourself." Yet even as she spoke, the hand that she used to swipe the crumbs away, was gentle, almost tender, in its movement. She had quite forgiven him.

How could she remain angry? At this boy who looked at her with a scowl of indignation yet whose deep, dark eyes twinkled with mischief and cleverness and brilliance, who stood taller than her, yes, yet was far more delicate in his build than she had ever been, whose hair was as dark as hers had been in her youth, carelessly falling across his forehead. No, she could not remain angry.

If only he had been in Gryffindor, perhaps then she would have noticed him sooner. Or rather, if only her eyes didn't only open for her Gryffindors. How this boy could ever look at her without resentment and anger, she didn't know. Then again, he had been so incredibly isolated and lonely, was it any wonder he let go of his rightful grudges and instead accepted her friendship?

Minerva blinked as if soot from the fireplace got in her eyes. She didn't want him to notice the tears that almost inevitably formed whenever she thought about him. Who would have thought that she'd cry so much for the little devil?

"I'll leave you to your work, dear mother," Severus said cheerfully, hopping off her desk.

"Aye, after you've cleared out my biscuit jar, you villain" Minerva grumbled, looking into the empty jar. Severus shrugged.

"You ought to see it as a compliment towards your taste, really," Severus said. "But I see I have taken the last of your patience"- for indeed, Minerva looked ready to strangle him- "so I shall take my leave. Good night, my good Headmistress, and may you have peace in the silver embrace of the moon!"

And with a laughing twinkle in his eye and a boyish bow, Severus Snape left the room.

Minerva sighed. She wasn't sure if it was out of relief, or because she may have felt some sorrow at his departure.

The door opened again, and a rather meek Severus poked his head in.

"Er, Minerva?" he asked.

"Yes, Severus?"

"Er." Severus stepped in, looking away from her, walking with the awkward gait of a newborn foal, and the nervousness of a deer. "Er, Minerva?"

"Yes, Severus?"

"Am I really ugly, mother?" His voice was a whisper. His raven hair curtained his face, hiding his shame at asking such a pathetic question, and his fingers picked at one of the cuticles of a nail.

Minerva smiled, and walked to him. Softly she brushed the boy's hair out of his face and gently tucked it behind his ear.

"Only as long as you let yourself believe it, dear heart."

[mxtxfanatic]

Who Killed Wei Wuxian? the Politics of Culpability in MDZS

The title is kind of a misnomer because we know how Wei Wuxian died and we know who is responsible, so let's get those quotes out the way:

“To be honest though, if it weren’t for young Chief Jiang’s knowledge of the Yiling Laozu’s weaknesses, the siege of the Burial Mounds might not have succeeded. Don’t forget what kinds of things Wei Wuxian has at his disposal. Don’t you remember when he annihilated more than 3,000 high level cultivators?”

—Chapt. 1: Rebirth, fanyiyi

[Wei Wuxian] “I have to clarify this. [Jiang Cheng] didn’t kill me. I died because one of my techniques backfired.”

—Chapt. 43: Beauty I, fanyiyi

Wei Wuxian died from the backlash of attempting to destroy the second yin tiger tally while the first siege of the Burial Mounds took place. Jiang Cheng and the rest of the cultivation world is directly responsible for his death, thus are to blame. However, this meta isn't about who we are "meant to" blame for Wei Wuxian's death but about the conversation that the novel has about culpability. Contrary to the bad faith engagement that happens around this topic within the fandom, mxtx actually brings up this culpability problem many times in the novel:

After a moment of silence, Wei Wuxian said, “What else have you heard?” “Jiang Cheng, Clan Chief Jiang, brought people to encircle and besiege the Burial Mounds. He killed you, sir.” “I have to clarify this. He didn’t kill me. I died because one of my techniques backfired.” Wen Ning finally lifted his eyes and looked at him directly. “But, Clan Chief Jiang, he clearly—" “It’s impossible for someone to walk on a lonely, single-log bridge safely and soundly for an entire lifetime. It couldn’t be helped.” Wen Ning seemed to want to sigh, though he had no breath to sigh with.

—Chapt. 43: Beauty I, fanyiyi

Wen Qing waited quietly for him to finish cursing, “And so, you see? There’s no use. With the way things are, the identity of the one who placed the curse of Hundred Holes is no longer important. What’s important is the fact that the hundreds of people at Qiongqi path and... Jin ZiXuan were indeed killed by A-Ning.” Wei WuXian, “... But, but...” But what? He himself didn’t even know what to put after ‘but’. He couldn’t think of a reason to give, an excuse to use. He spoke, “... But even then, I should be the one going. I was the one who made the corpses kill the people. Why would the knife go instead of the murderer?”

—Chapt. 77: Nightfall, exr

Wen Ning says that Jiang Cheng is to blame for Wei Wuxian's death while Wei Wuxian says that it was an inevitability that could only be blamed on the circumstances rather than any individual. The Wen siblings say that Wen Ning is the one who killed Jin Zixuan, but Wei Wuxian argues that he is the one who turned Wen Ning into a weapon, thus absolving Wen Ning of the crime and placing it solely on Wei Wuxian's shoulders as the weapon's wielder. Who's side does the novel take? Well to answer that, let's take a look at another character who has caused many deaths throughout the novel: Jin Guangyao:

Jin GuangYao saw through the worries in his eyes instantly, and became so enraged that he actually started to laugh, “Lan XiChen! All my life, I’ve lied to countless people and have destroyed countless more. Just as you’ve said, murdering my father, my brother, my wife, my son, my master, my friends—There’s not a single sin left in this world that I haven’t committed!”

—Chapt. 108: Concealment Part 2, boat-full-of-lotus-pods

Of all the characters Jin Guangyao lists, he personally, with his own hands, verifiably killed two. Jin Guangshan was raped to death. Qin Su committed suicide. Jin Zixuan was killed in the Qionqi Path ambush. The details of Jin Rusong's death are unknown. Jin Guangyao didn't even personally kill any of the clans the Jin used as experiments nor did he murder the sex workers with his own hands. Only Wen Ruohan and Nie Mingjue were directly killed by Jin Guangyao—the former by being literally stabbed in the back and the latter through poisoning—so why does Jin Guangyao claim responsibility? It's because he planned these death. Without his direct manipulations and explicit intention to kill, none of those characters would have died as they did. Thus, despite not taking a knife to each of them individually, the blood of all of these characters is on Jin Guangyao's hands.

Here's another example:

It had taken the Four Great Sects three full months of recuperation, reorganization and planning before they’d finally become ready to take seize upon Burial Mound in retaliation; at last “exterminating” the last remnants of the Wen Sect along with the deranged Yiling Patriarch himself.

—Chapt. 108: Concealment Part 2, boat-full-of-lotus-pods

Around 3,000 cultivators gathered to kill 50 individuals. Logically, there is no way that 3,000 people literally had a direct hand in killing a few dozen people. However, they all came with the explicit intent to massacre, and they all take pride and credit in having participated in the first siege. Even though not nobody took turns personally smashing Granny Wen's head in, they are each still culpable for her and the other Wen remnants' deaths.

But what about the people who were "only following orders" (the Nuremberg defense, for people who haven't yet released how many of villain stan defenses sound like Nazi arguments) or "didn't mean" their actions? Should they be blamed just for being followers of bad people, whether be it because they genuinely believed in the mastermind's lies or wanted to personally benefit from the chaos? Should they be considered blameless for murderous intent that makes a victim of the "wrong" person? Mdzs addresses that, too:

One of them shouted from afar, “Wei... Wei Ying! If you’re really that strong, why don’t you go find those sect leaders participating in the pledge conference? What could you prove by picking on us low-level cultivators with no power to fight back?” Wei WuXian let out another short whistle. The cultivator who shouted felt as a hand suddenly tugged him down. He fell off the city gate, breaking both of his legs, and began to scream. Amid the wails, Wei WuXian’s expression didn’t change at all, “Low-level cultivators? Do I have to tolerate you, just because you’re low-level cultivators? If you dared say those things, you had to dare shoulder the consequences. If you knew that you were insignificant pieces of scum as filthy as ants, how come you didn’t know to think before you speak?!”

—Chapt. 77: Nightfall, exr

Wei WuXian could tell the arrow tip was originally aiming for his heart, his vital region. Yet, because the archer wasn’t skilled, the force of the arrow tip dwindled by midair to have missed the heart and shot into the ribcage. Everyone around the person who shot the arrow had eyes wide open, staring with shock and even fear at the disciple who had done such a thing. Wei WuXian looked up. Darkness veiled his face. He pulled out the arrow and tossed it back hard. With a wail, the young cultivator who snuck an attack at him was hit right in the chest with the arrow he tossed back! A boy next to him threw himself on top of him, “Brother! Brother!” The sect’s array was immediately thrown into chaos. The sect leader pointed at Wei WuXian with one shaking finger, “You... You... You are so cruel!” With his right hand, Wei WuXian unhurriedly pressed the wound at his chest, temporarily ceasing the blood flow. His voice was indifferent, “What does cruel mean? If he dared shoot the arrow at me when I was off guard, he should’ve known what would be facing him if he failed. They call me the cultivator of the crooked path, anyways, so you can’t possibly count on me to be generous and not bother with him, can you?”

...

Wei WuXian was pushed onto the ground again by the force. The next time he looked up, he saw the gleaming blade of a sword pierce through her throat. The boy holding the sword was the young cultivator who cried over the disciple who had shot the arrow. He was still crying, eyes covered in tears, “You thief! This is for my brother!” Sitting on the dirty ground, Wei WuXian stared with disbelief at Jiang YanLi, whose head had already dipped, blood trickling ceaselessly from her neck. ... The boy finally realized that he killed the wrong person. He pulled out the sword, along with a series of bloody spurts. With fright, he staggered back, mumbling, “... I-It wasn’t me, it wasn’t... I was going to kill Wei WuXian, I was going to avenge my brother... She was the one who threw herself over on her own!”

—Chapt. 78: Nightfall, exr

The cultivators both at Nightless City and those who didn't go choose to provoke Wei Wuxian based on the slander spread by the cultivation clan leaders. Those at Nightless City are gathered specifically to pledge to kill him. However, the moment Wei Wuxian turns his sights on them, then it's "But we're just baby 🥺 why not pick on someone your own size?" Wei Wuxian's response is masterful in that he calls them out for what they are: opportunistic cowards who prey on the weak but fear the strong. They wanted to attack him without consequences, but the moment consequences happened, they wanted to shift responsibility. The clan of the boy who attempted to kill Wei Wuxian is the same, as well as that boy's brother who killed Jiang Yanli. You chose to be here, you chose to participate, so just as you wanted to share in the spoils, you must also share in the responsibility, whether you were able to achieve your goal or not.

Now with all of this context in mind, let's circle back to Wen Ning and Wei Wuxian's convos: who are the killers? In the case of the first siege, the answer is Jiang Cheng... as well as the rest of the cultivation world. While the responsibility may vary in degrees (Jiang Cheng owed a debt to the Wen siblings and Wei Wuxian that the other participants did not), it is still a shared one. In the case of the Qionqi Path ambush, Wei Wuxian and Wen Ning, too, share and accept responsibility despite only one person getting their hands dirty while the other person (subconsciously) gave the orders. Wei Wuxian may have turned Wen Ning into a fierce corpse, but Wen Ning had the consciousness to refuse and chose not to in service of defending the man who saved his family.

Finally, I want to leave on this note: while Jiang Cheng is to blame for Wei Wuxian's death, Wei Wuxian, himself, does not wish to place that blame on his former shidi. One reason is that he acknowledges that his murder was a forgone conclusion—something anyone would have plotted towards, anyways, with or without Jiang Cheng's willing intervention—the moment the cultivation world turned on him as an enemy, and two, because of this:

Suddenly, [Jiang Cheng] said, “I’m sorry.” Wei WuXian froze, then said, “......You don’t have to say sorry.” After everything that had happened between them, it was impossible to tell who was the one most at fault.

—Chapt. 103: A Hatred for Life Part 6, boat-full-of-lotus-pods

There is so much bad blood between these two that to weigh their transgressions against each other—particularly in the wake of the golden core transfer reveal—would be petty and diminish them both as people. Wei Wuxian gave up his golden core for the man who later willingly and gleefully plotted his murder, but Jiang Cheng lost his only friend, his sister, and his reputation over all of those jealousy-clouded decisions. In a way, this entanglement made them both lose, so the best answer is to cut the loss and move on (Wei Wuxian's approach) rather than trying to forcefully maintain the connection of tangled debts at the threat of facing even bigger losses (Jiang Cheng's approach until the climax). There's nothing to be gained from trying to hold Jiang Cheng accountable for his crimes against Wei Wuxian, so it's best to simply let sleeping dogs lie and for Wei Wuxian to continue to live his life happily no longer tied in any way to the man who led to his death.

[canisalbus]

When did Machete realize he was gay? Was it only when he met Vasco, or was it earlier and he just repressed it?

If you asked him, he might admit that in retrospect he must've had a vague inkling earlier (thinking of all the times he let his gaze linger on a painting of some handsome nobleman a little longer. Which almost makes it like... a 16th century equivalent of having a secret fictional crush). But I think it probably would've been more of a detached, aesthetic attraction than anything he recognized as distinctly gay, bad and worth of repressing. It's not a sin to quietly appreciate art and the beauty of the human form.

I'd say Vasco, his best friend at the time, was most likely the first real person he had actual feelings for. The realization was so distressing he stayed in denial about the whole thing for a good while.

[ariadne-mouse]

Still thinking about just how deep in it Liliana Temult is. Like in the eyes of the narrative she went from

absent & possibly dead, very sad -> alive just estranged?? mysterious! -> possibly involved in a cult, tragic, can her daughter reach her? -> uncomfortably high up in said cult -> the cult's goddamn General and striking such terror into the local population of the Ruidus that they are afraid of even her appearance or someone who looks like her

Ordinary people who are trying to resist the dictatorial Imperium/Ruby Vanguard alliance and their iron control of the populace are terrified of her. You don't strike terror just by "being there". Terror happens because of actions. And it leaves us to wonder what exactly Liliana Temult has done during her time on the moon to make the citizens fear her so much.

[starcurtain]

I have this small, deeply personal headcanon that after his grandmother's passing, Alhaitham's home was so unbearably quiet that he started--just barely, just one or two words--to speak out loud to her as if she was still there.

"I've been accepted to the Akademiya, Grandmother."

"I passed my promotion exams."

"I debated with Haravatat's sage."

Just that, and quiet again.

But one day, it's: "I met someone strange."

"He keeps showing up when I'm trying to study."

"We don't agree on anything. Still..."

"I made a friend."

"Today, Kaveh and I were researching--"

"It's already dark. I didn't realize we spent so long in Razan Garden. Kaveh wanted to hear about my article--"

"He's going to be furious when I tell him the whole point for his portion of the lecture is based on a false predicate--"

The house where his grandmother used to be gets a little louder again; the noise lasts a little longer.

Until one day, when there's no words at all.

One day, when there's just the sound of a single sob, and then a long, long silence.

[serpentface]

wheeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee

[rip-headphones-users]

If you recognize the the venue this bathroom is from you get a gold star sticker, you deserve it for what you’ve been through just going in here.