#sorry weed actually hits me different than it hits other people
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Plane Ride
Little Ghost mom centric thing because @snootlestheangel made me think about her again
Mrs. Riley silently handed her ticket to the airport security. She had never flown to America before. If she could, she'd probably feel anxious about doing something wrong and the man yelling at her.
Instead, all she could feel was the swirling mix of dread and relief filling her entire body. They bubbled and foamed inside her until she felt like she might throw up on the nice worker's shoes.
"Mum." Tommy put his hand on arm gently. "Sorry, sir. My brother is in the hospital and neither of us are taking it well."
"Go ahead and go through."
"Thank you, sir." Tommy held her hand as she tried not to cry again. "it's okay, Mum. Simon is alright. We're going to go see him and he's probably going to be fine and tell us we're loonies for even being worried about him."
Mrs. Riley wasn't sure she believed him, but nodded all the same. She was never the strongest person. Mentally or physically. It was not something she was proud of honestly. But she needed to keep herself together through the flight.
Tommy managed to sleep, probably exhausted from handling Joseph and the unknown amount of time he spent on the phone trying to get everything together. She made sure not to wake him up, even as she kept weeping.
Simon was alive. They told her he was dead. Went missing and would never return. That she'd never even get a body.
And now. He was alive, in critical condition and hadn't talked much. Her good boy.
Mrs. Riley started to sob again. She had never been a good mother. She always tried, but she didn't fool herself into thinking she was good. Simon protected her more than she ever protected him and that would probably always haunt her. A better mom would've left. Or at least made sure she was the only one getting hit.
The first time he had broken Simon's arm, she did leave. Just for a day. And then she came back. Weak and unable to handle the world anymore. When did she get like that? She asked herself the question constantly.
Not Simon though. Even as a kid. Always tough as nails.
The poor flight attendant offered her a drink on the house. She simply asked for a water and to please come back when Tommy was awake.
On foreign soil, she wondered how her son did it. Just... went to other countries. Talked with people. Smiled and drank and did all the things she did as a kid so easily.
A military personnel picked them up. They had on their formal wear. Only difference between it and the one, who told her that her eldest had died, was the flag and some colors. He had a scar along his head and tattoos on his arm. For a brief moment, she thought one of them may match her son's but his sleeve was half covering it.
"My name is Sergeant Alex Keller. Pleased to make your acquaintance."
He talked to Tommy like a soldier, greeting him with a thick Texan and shaking his hand. For her though, he must've seen the red eyes and the bags that came under them, because he actually smiled at her.
"I've never met someone as... strong willed as your son. I'll be happy to escort you both to the hospital. However," her blood started to drop in temperature, "i must warn you. He's not a happy camper. His condition also... isn't pretty. Doctors say he's out of the weeds, but recovery is going to be a slow and steady process."
Tommy nodded. "Strong willed... That's one way to describe him."
Sergeant Keller simply smiled and she got the impression he knew something she didn't. Most likely something classified if he was anything like Simon.
Alex took them to the hospital where they were told only one visitor at a time. With no hesitation, Tommy stepped back and said he'd wait in the waiting room. Although it was no doubt killing him, he simply squeezed his mom's hand and let go.
Mrs. Riley followed the nurse through the white halls, feeling nauseated as many childhood A&E visits flashed through her brain.
"Right now, he's on quite a bit of oxycodone."
"He's not supposed to take that."
The nurse faltered a bit. "There was no note in his file for allergies. We couldn't leave him unmedicated. Is there a different one that he should be on?" She sounded almost panicked, as she checked through Simon's file.
"Addiction... runs in the family. Sorry, I trust your judgement, miss. I'm just surprised he let you give him any pain meds."
The nurse relaxed and hesitated, again, almost telling her something. She seemed to take pity on the poor mom. "He was... delirious. We believe he was given some cocktails of hallucinogens and who knows what else. That with the infection and the fever... I don't think he would've stayed coherent enough to make choices."
Mrs. Riley found herself relaxing a little. "Simon knows how to dissociate. Hopefully that's what he did when they... took him. I understand there's certain things you can't tell me. I do. What can you tell me? Before I go in this room. What should I know?"
The nurse paused in front of the door. "I wouldn't normally do this. I need you to understand. But I think someone he's close to should understand what happened." She put the file on a small table nearby. "I'm going to walk away. Just go in when you're ready."
Mrs. Riley smiled at her and waited a moment or two after she walked away before picking it up.
Broken ribs. Dislocated. Vivisections scars. Damage to multiple organs. A surgery had been done to remove internal scar tissue. Puncture wounds all over. Unknown wound on the ribs. Cuts along face. Wound from a previously healed over slit throat. Signs of starvations. Signs of rape. Burns along feet, potentially from walking on hot ground. Scorpion stings on hands and wrists.
There were more, but most were cuts or bruising. Horrible, but nothing like what she had just read.
Mrs. Riley should've taken a moment to compose herself, but she couldn't. She didn't even put the file back on the table, just dropped it and went inside.
There he was. For the first time since he was six years old, he looked small. There were so many bandages, especially around his mouth. But his eyes were exposed. Along with dark hair that had grown out and fell in his face now. For a brief moment, his heart rate spiked in fear as he stared at her.
"There's my good boy." She said softly, walking over. She made herself walk slow and steady despite wanting to collapse. When he flinched away from her, it felt like she had her heart ripped out and picked apart. But he settled, his heart rate began to even back out.
He tried to talk but it seemed to pull something cause it winced in pain instead.
"Simon." His eyes went straight to her, soft and wet. "Blink once if i can take your hand."
One blink.
She grabbed it gently, cradling it. His hands dwarfed hers. There were so many scars. So much bandaging. Her eyes filled with tears and she could hear the heart monitor start to beep faster.
"I'm so glad I have you back, Simon." She rubbed his knuckles gently to calm him back down. "Tommy is outside when you want to see him."
It looked like he tried to sit up but the pained whimpering that came out of him made her sick.
"Sweetheart," she pressed his shoulders back gently, not liking the defocused look in his eyes. "please. Just stay still. Everything can wait. I promise. For once, just... let someone else be the strong one for you, alright?"
Mrs. Riley pulled up a chair and held his hand. Before long, he fell asleep, though he fought it to the bitter end. Tommy was allowed back eventually and she wasn't prepared for how fast he just fell apart.
Her poor boys.
Simon went to comfort him but was luckily stopped by both of them before he could hurt himself. He looked miserably at both of them but Tommy hit the pain med button for him and he relaxed back into a blissful and hopefully pain free sleep.
Mrs. Riley could be strong. She knew she could. Whatever Simon needed, he'd get.
#call of duty#call of duty modern warfare#call of duty modern warfare ii#cod#cod mw2#simon ghost riley
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Okay so comments and questions on this one
First Iâm sorry but when Y/N went to talk to Mikey in his car and she thought he was complementing her skirt that had me like aw cute. Only for this man to hit her with the â Youâd fit as one of the actresses featured in the school girl category on a porn siteâ my jaw dropped. That was for some reason so funny to me like I was cackling like a crazy person I swear. It was just so funny imagining the was her smile drops like one minute sheâs like 𼰠next minute sheâs sitting there like đ˘ it just so funny. Same thing with Izana not liking Y/N because she cried after he called her dense (as a joke in my humble opinion (I could be wrong)) when he asked her to smoke weed with him like imagine him looking at her like 𤨠how is you coo?? Just make me laugh like I can just see him being like Emma what kinda friends you making here bruh?
Which pegs the question that if initial interactions went differently would they like her more?
If Y/N had a friend like the Y/N from E boys would she be different or would certain things be different for her?
Or if she met someone different in general and made a best friend other than Emma like someone else in Izana or Mikeyâs circle?
ALSO!!! What are their majors like in the story it was mentioned that Mikey was going to his criminology class, and I also remember you mentioning Izana was in a music related Major (I think? (Or Im just a big fat liar)) so what are the main cast Majors?
And while weâre on the subject of the main cast is Rmma personality based of Lottie from princess and the frog? Because I noticed that how she acts with the reader, like giving her clothes and sticking up for her and things like that kind of correlate with how Lottie treats Tiana and princes of the frog so I was just wondering if she was based off of her because I also remember that the main cast had colors and that was pink so that also contributed to me thinking that maybe she was based off I could be a big fat liar and be wrong but thatâs just something that I was curious Aboutďżź
And Izana. I remember you mentioning that in a relationship he would expect complete absolute loyalty from his partner while not being insanely loyal himself so if the reader let say found herself liking a guy at school or something like that, how would he respond to that? Because you somewhat mentioned that after chapter 3 is when they start showing how they can tell her a bit more kind of sort of so post chapter 3 how would he react to that? Would he be upset with the reader the guy or how would he deal with something like that?
And them this is my last question I swear đđ Would Mikey and Izana ever try to protect the reader in any way from her family? Or would they just not give a fuck?
Geez Louise I have your ear off I donât know Monsters is a story I could yap about for a good long while and always have some kind of question or analysis(es??)(is??) (I canât spell bruh). Anyway monsters is such a great story I love reading it and laughing at certain parts like the skirt thing. And I know weâre supposed to not like Mikey and Izana but they are lowkey so freaking funny sometimes I canât help it (Plz I love their silly boy times!!)
Anyway Iâm gonna wrap up this insanely long ask by saying I love Monsters I love your writing I love how much you interact with us and answer all our silly questions it honestly amazing really and I hope you have a good forever because you actually awesome.
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Girl (gender neutral) I love love yap sesh with y'all. It really gives me perspective with how people view the way I write the characters from monster. Yall are amazing and I love love LOVE talking to yall.
You're not wrong for cackling. Those two scenarios (although Izana did mean it when he called her a fucking idiot/dense, bro was tweaking for no reason đ) were kind of funny... in a "What the freak?" way. Like saying out of pocket things and you're just like đ§ââď¸đđđ
As for if they'd treat her differently if the first interactions were different, nahhh they're mean to her for reasons other than their first meetup. She kept on "taking" Emma from them so they hate her. If she joined the group through a different avenue like being friends with Yuzuha or Senju, I think she'll be treated with more respect - she'd be promoted from object to pet pretty quickly by Izana. Mikey might just acknowledge her briefly until well into Izana "owning" her.
Ah their Majors. Mikey's in Criminology, Izana is in sound engineering, Emma and y/n are in English and Literary studies.
Yeahhh Emma has the same personality as Lottie from princess and the frog and their dynamics are just as similiar. Emma and y/n are like Lottie and Tiana, Stella and Bloom, pink and blue pairs. (I'll put back their moodboard up soon I swearr)
If y/n ever liked a guy, if he doesn't happen to be in their friend group, that guy is dead. Gone with the wind. He won't be upset with reader, more or less he'd be like she just has a distraction that he needs to put an end to. Maybe fuck her harder so that she'd remember who she's actually with.
If her family pisses the guys off they might actually kill them off. Depends.
THANK YOU AND I LOVE YOUU
Ask me or Share an opinion on Monsters
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the nations favorite writer - offer us any advice? going through a writers block rn
oh god iâm so sorry this took me so long, things got crazy for a second and i forgot đ thoughts below!
here (1, 2) are a couple posts that seem pretty helpful, but now iâm just gonna talk about what helped me with my last bout of writerâs block because i can still remember it in detail
again this is all just my own observations about myself because thatâs kinda all i haveâiâm no expert
i had too many other things going on and i did need to cut down on other hobbies a bit (in this case, i had to cut down on rp) because those other things all were...relatively small tasks and they took less time, so my brain would often go âhey what about this short and rewarding task vs this long and intimidating task?â
which goes hand in hand with training your focusâi think my phone really does impact that in a bad way. reading books helps with training focus, as does muscling through. i know muscling through goes contrary to a lot of advice, but it helped me. because a lot of times, i would start writing a scene and go, âwow, i hate this!â but knowing that i didnât have another idea of what to do, i just kept going until i realized why it felt wrong. and there were like...four or five different breakthroughs like that when i was writing my latest chapter. just âOHHHHHHHHHâ moments that i got to only after writing like a thousand or more words that i would not end up putting in the fic. it is NOT always like this but if youâre really blocked, sometimes itâs just cause youâre writing a genuinely emotionally complicated and crucial bit and your brain has to go down the wrong path a few times before it figures out the right one
part of that is figuring out what you feel about your current scene? like, sitting down and writing a certain scene, i would go, âno, this feels wrong, i donât like it, i hate itâ and sure enough my instincts were right. it WAS bad. it was bad because it focused too much on the logistics and details of a side plot when i didnât want to waste all that precious real estate and audience attention on something that was not connected to the core of my story. but i didnât fully realize that till i was done. it was still good that iâd written out the long version, because it laid out all the information i needed (plus a bunch i didnât, but still). idk. i love editing more than writing on a blank page. i love cutting more than i love creating. this may be a me thing.
could also be something went wrong earlier on, like your actual scene idea is quite good but you didnât lay enough emotional or plot foundation for it to hit as hard as you want it to? reread your previous bits of fic and see if you can find the problem there?
i think peer pressure and/or friendship are huge for thisâi donât mean peer pressure as in âsilly anti-drug advertisements where all the cool kids try to make you do weedâ i mean âhanging out in a community of writers & artists and/or with friends where thereâs an atmosphere of people lowkey always working on their craft, whatever that may beâ. because truly i think it helps keep writing top of mind & sort of normalizes the emotional struggles. plus the camaraderie is really nice!Â
my current home of choice is the narcos fandom discord (which is only about 25% about narcos fandom at this point lbr) but i know thereâs a ton of different places out there to be a fic writer in community with other fic writers, so take your pick. i will say that not every community is perfect and i think the ideal community strikes a balance between participation & low stressâthat is, people support each other but they donât feel like they have homework-reading they have to do that theyâll get penalized for not doing? yk? iâm rambling whoops
plus, getting a friend that is willing and HAPPY to talk through the fic with youâan editor, a beta reader, something like thatâis a godsend. truly without bellinitini/narcolini i would literally not have even published chapter one of my current longfic. but the key is to find someone who genuinely is interested or who is willing to do a bit of a swap; you help them with theirs, they help you with yours.
and then thereâs the audience for longfics, which may or may not apply to you. cannot lie, rereading comments, even for previous fics that are unconnected, is extremely motivating! maybe thatâs just me! (i donât think thatâs just me) on that note, if youâre feeling real desperate you can always reblog ask games about your WIPs so that you can interact with your audience a bit?
you could always try to take in more artâthatâs usually pretty refreshing for me. canon review is great, but taking in other stuff (fictional books especially) can make your brain start thinking in different ways, especially if your brain is a bit spongy like mine and tends to absorb little bits of other writerâs styles if you chug a lot of them. you could try to find books that deal with the same setting, the same themes, or the same relationship dynamics.
so for example, i read colorless tsukuru tazaki and his years of pilgrimage by haruki murakami in prepping for my next chapter of richiefic because richie references it in season 2. and genuinely, reading it made me understand his character a bit better. but i also have a character going to prison, so i have read some of the works of george pelecanos (the novel drama city and several short stories), because pelecanos deals with the justice system in a way that i think is admirably clearsighted, not melodramatic, very honest. iâm fixing to reread some of the paradeâs end series because ford madox ford is, to me, one of the greatest of all time when it comes to complicated conversations where two characters are completely legible to the audienceâcompletely understandableâwhile struggling through emotionally complicated conversations with each other. and i am about to try and get some more books set in womenâs prisons + books set in modern day chicago. reading stuff with the context of âiâm about to write something related to thisâ is such a good way to read stuff, too. just feels really good and sometimes you need a positive feeling when youâre struggling through the depths of depair i mean writerâs block.
movies and tv are good too, though imo theyâre not as helpful. i...personally avoid reading other peopleâs fanfic like the plague if theyâre dealing with a specific pairing whose longfic iâm struggling to finish.
just putting it down and coming back in two-three weeks sometimes helps. couldnât tell you why.
and finally. you could always drop the fic. it feels shitty for a while, but if the muse has genuinely left you for good, you deserve to enjoy the freedom instead of just like...struggling onwards indefinitely. this has happened to me with longfics before and it always makes me sad. but sometimes there is genuinely nothing you can do, and in those cases, forgive yourself <3 this is a hobby, after all
my top three recommended tactics, without knowing details of your situation, are: talk with a friend/editor, take in more art, muscle through. in that order.
i hope that helped??? iâm very sorry about your writerâs block, itâs the worst thing in the world. and iâm sorry that it took me so long, i need to be more organized
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Hi, how was your show!!!??
Thank you for asking! It was great, OBVIOUSLY. I saw Louis play a short set in late 2019, but was not able to go to Walls tour, so this was my first time at a proper tour show (in Berkeley last night) and it was brilliant! I have been trying to figure out what to say besides that though cause tbh there are two posts I want to make. So⌠both? First for my recap- it was so loud, like the music was just normal concert loud but I had to plug my ears against the screaming between songs cause it was way louder- I just figured it was the in person experience difference but no, Louis confirmed, âyou guys have been so fucking loud in here tonight, it's actually been hard for me to hearâ so GO US! The chokingly thick haze of weed smoke (âI already feel the energy, I already feel the love, I can already smell the weed,â he was not fucking kidding) to usher in HIC in California (and all the other songs lol) didnât diminish the energy a bit! Truly, there is nothing like the energy of shared live music, and meeting eyes of other fans (through the trees) and sharing that excitement. And seeing actual physical unmediated Louis, just existing in space being a real live human, yeah. Something.
I was like I'm not gonna bother to take pictures or anything, I just want to dance and hear and look, everyone else's pics will be better anyway but then the TECH, you guys know how much I love the fucking aesthetic of this tour and the screens were SO PRETTY in real life!! So in fact I KEPT getting my phone out for that so like... good one tech crew, you got me. Look for many low quality aesthetic posts of the screens incoming, sorry not sorry. Common People was SO PRETTY, his voice was so clear and lovely and I'm so glad that's been added in. WDBHG went HARD live, holy shit, SO FUN (tho tbh me as Louis thinking I know all the words to that song but it turns out there are a lot? And I do not? At least I was in the best possible company fumbling and mumbling through parts.) Heartbroken I didnât get Saturdays live (honestly the one song I think might have been my exception to the next thing Iâm gonna say) but so thankful for BTMđ¤
But part two of this post is to say that watching the livestreams with you all is also brilliant and special and also lets me experience the beauty of Louisâ voice and presence and connection and the feeling of experiencing something together. I wasnât able to go last year, and I know some of you (many many thousands worldwide!) wonât be able to go this year either or maybe ever, and I know you are seeing the posts telling you there is nothing like being there and you can't really know or appreciate Louis/ Louisâ voice/ the experience unless you are there in person and it feels sad and I want to tell you that I have done the research now and I donât think that is true. Most people who go to the show wonât have a Y/N moment and be Perceived by Louis or be at barricade, and I donât think the experience we are having online together is less real or profound than the live experience. His voice sounded fucking gorgeous and soaring and I loved it, but even if you are there it is mediated by all kinds of tech; I imagine getting to be present for an acoustic performance really would be something that couldnât be replicated but I think a really good live through a clear speaker or a nice quality show video is in fact just fine. Some of the songs did hit me harder in person and get my blood pumping in a different way, yes- but others I actually think I get a fuller experience of in a chiller more focused environment when everything isnât flying by as quickly. Like I donât think the megamix would impact the way it does (UGH I LOVE IT SO MUCH) if I just saw it live once and done, for example. Anyway Iâm just saying if you canât make your own (go to the show) store bought is fine (hang with us at stream time! or just whatever online content). While I never intend to watch every stream in fact I am usually right here and love to chat and squee with people, come hang out, or just watch some videos and enjoy the magic.
#obviously overall HECK YES SO HAPPY but I have two complaints in addition to the Saturdays Issue#one is that the Snuts didnât play Maybe California?? for their first california show?????? why do they hate me?!!!#to be clear it is ON THEIR SETLIST. AND YET.#and the other is something Iâve come up on before with these guys which is that being in the location where your show is always#the day BEFORE the one they are really excited about (LA)⌠is kind of a bummerđit is what it is and it's not a big deal but js#was about to say why can't any of them ever go in the other direction but LMAO NEVER MIND#the question answers itself đ#anyway I have more thoughts about live vs online experiencing of it all but ...another time#blah blah blah#fitfwt berkeley
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PARTIES: @vanoincidence, @realmackross TIMING:Â June 19th, midday SUMMARY:Â Van runs into Mack out in the wild! WARNINGS:Â None!
Van bit the inside of her cheek, phone half sticking out of her back pocket as she leaned down to grab the weeds thatâd somehow gotten stuck between her wheel and axle out. âHow does this,â she breathed, yanking away, âalways happen!â The past few days had been a blur, and if she were being honest with herself, she preferred it that way. It was easier to not focus on the feeling of helplessness thatâd overcome her time and time again. With her car⌠inoperable for the time being (or at least until sheâd gotten enough money for new tires and a new door), she was using her bike and board a lot more often than not. But even those were malfunctioning.Â
She looked up from the bench she sat on, gaze darting around the common for any familiar faces. Van had run into plenty of people here already. Some good, some bad. But she hadnât expected to see Mackenzie Ross in the flesh! She stared, jaw slackening. While television shows with real people werenât exactly her favorite, she did recognize Mackenzie. Keep it cool, Van. What the hell was someone like Mackenzie was doing in Wickedâs Rest, she had no idea, but did that matter? The anxiety she wore like a second skin was replaced by another typeâ but this was excitement, she realized.Â
The blonde was heading her way and Van tried desperately to think of what she should do. Throw her board at her? No, that was too much, and what if it actually hurt her? Maybe let it roll down the small hill towards her? Go after it? That was a good idea!Â
Van dropped her board onto the ground and it started to roll away, down towards Mackenzie, only veering into the grass. Oh god, what if Mackenzie was a jerk who didnât care about runaway rides? She hopped up from the bench and started to walk quickly towards the board. And then, when she was closeâ âSorry, sorryâ Oh my god, Mackenzie Ross?â So much for being subtle.
---
Mackenzie had been lost in her own world. Since the 4th of July incident with Mateo, she only had so many more questions. Questions that any sane person would have thought she was making up, but there had to be someone locally who could help her. After all, this town was as strange as they came. At least the people had been nice for the most part, well aside from Mateo, but they were working on it, and him offering her brains and alcohol after shooting her with a Roman candle had been a solid start. It had also taken her mind off of some of the other crap that constantly floated around in her brain when she was lucid enough and not talking like a cavewoman.
Pulling out her phone and switching to a different song on her Spotify playlist, Mackenzie almost didnât see the skateboard coming her way, but luckily it had rolled into the grass beside her.
Hitting pause on the song she had currently switched to, Mack shoved her phone in the back pocket of her jeans. As she moved towards the board, she heard an apologetic voice, until it switched to one of surprise. Shit. She had been recognized again. Wickedâs Rest wasnât turning out to be that private after all, but it was okay. This girl had been the first of the day, and she could handle it as long as it didnât become a thing like it was at A Quiet Place.
âI could lie and say noâŚor just ignore you, but that would make me an asshole, and Iâm not an asshole.â She looked at the brunette with a defeated smile, before glancing back down at the longboard, âIs this yours?â Stepping on the back of it and forcing the opposite end to pop up in her hands, she held it out to return it, âLooks that this thing has some wear and tear on it. Have you been riding for a while?â Mackenzie would say one thing for the small town. She was able to have more meaningful conversations with people, unlike in Los Angeles and the surrounding areas where paparazzi like to hide around every corner. At least here, her picture hadnât been taken yet. Well as far as she knew.
---
Vanâs brows furrowed as Mackenzie laid out the options for their meeting. The anxiety of never meet your idols rose in her, but she pushed it away. What Mackenzie Ross would want with her, anyway, she wasnât sure. It was stupid to even try. She shouldnât have pushed the board. She should have walked past her. Of course famous people didnât want to be bothered. But the most famous person she had met prior to this was Nora and Van wasnât even sure she was famous anymore. Famously missing, maybe, but Van wasnât sure how to bring that up without offending her friend.Â
âIââ she looked down at the board that Mackenzie was now kicking up into her hand. Van took it from her gratefully, hooking her fingers at the axle. âItâs um.. yeah, awhile. I got it when I was fourteen.â Before everything went to shit, but it was consistent and while she had a skateboard at home that was a little newer, the longboard was her tried and true.Â
âYou ride, too?â Of course Mackenzie Ross rode skateboards. Of course. Van felt the weight of this meeting heavy on her shoulders and she willed the world to let her have at least this and not to have anything weird happen. âWhat are you doing in Wickedâs Rest? This town is, like, totally boring and not cool.â She held her board across her stomach now, looking at Mackenzie expectantly as if Van deserved her whole life story. But the anxiety still bubbled, and it was hard to ignore, so she cleared her throat. âSorry, I just never expected to run into anyone as famous as you here!â Yeah, that was better.
---
It wasnât that Mackenzie hated interacting with people. She had always loved meeting fans and just having conversations in general. She had even started going to conventions, until that one kid bit her, and she had to have stitches. But overall most people had been kind or just generally excited to meet her. Even she got like that. Everytime she talked to Taylor, she got a little starstruck. However, after everything that had happened with Dropped and Brody, she had pulled away from the public. Multiple reasons had left her afraid to be around people for long periods of time, and because of that, it made her heart hurt.
âSo youâre, like, close to pro level then, huh?â She smiled, but her tired eyes said otherwise. It was hard to lie through your eyes, and it had been a skill that Mackenzie always had to work at for as long as she had been acting. Sure, she had picked up a few tricks along the way, but this was real life, and she didnât feel like lying to the person standing in front of her anymore than she had to. She just wanted to be seen as a real person and not someone on a screen.
---
âUh, yeah. Iâve been riding for a little while. Stopped for a while, but I think now might be the time to get back into it. I just ride a cruiser. Nothing special.â What was she doing in Wickedâs Rest? Trying to avoid fans and paparazzi on every corner. âJust needed a break after some things happened.â It was in the media and all over the news. Considering the girl standing in front of her was a fan, Mackenzie figured she probably already knew the latest rumors going around. âYouâre fine. I take it you guys donât get a lot of people around here in my line of work then?â
Van was only observant when she wanted to be. She should have noticed the way that Mackenzie was visibly exhausted. But instead, she only saw the woman that she had fawned over on television. Sheâd always been impressed by her ability to bring her characters to life on the screen, and with her stunts, too! It was all so cool, and Van still couldnât believe that sheâd ended up in Wickedâs Rest of all places. A little confusing, maybe, but still really cool. Maybe Mackenzie was here researching for a role? Despite all of the information about Mackenzie thatâd been put on blast after her fianceâs passing, Van had zero to no clue that she was no longer acting. âOh, I wish I were! That would be really cool.â Maybe one day sheâd be good enough at something to tell the person asking that yes, she was.Â
As Mackenzie explained her choice of board, Van nodded as if it made the most sense in the world. âWe could totally shred together if you wanted.â Who said that? Who said shred? It was like sheâd gotten transplanted in Lords of Dogtown. âYeah, that makes sense. I mean, this town kind of sucks, but I guess itâs small enough.â People would recognize her still, didnât she know that? This town had people. âIn your line of work? No, only mimes!â She wasnât sure about that. There were performers of different kinds, but they were a little too weird for Vanâs liking, so she avoided them. It was rich, coming from her. âBut youâre much cooler than a mime.â She nodded as if to solidify her statement. She held onto her board loosely, letting it scrape the sidewalk slightly as she leaned it against her leg. âItâs so cool that youâre here though. Iâm sorry if Iâm being super weird, Iâve just never met someone famous.â She paused, eyebrows furrowing, âunless you count the Pikachu mascot that I saw in New York that Iâm almost sure was a scam, but you know..!â She shrugged with a laugh before realizing she was going off track. âSorry. Iâm just. Youâre right, we donât get a lot of people in your⌠line of work out here.â
---
âKeep at it, and someday you will be.â It was ingrained in her DNA. Giving compliments to people she talked to meant it left a good impression on them. She would be seen as kind and it would boost popularity points. It was all a part of the calculated way Mackenzie had to handle things as someone in the public eye. And it wasnât because she didnât want to be nice. There were just some days when she wanted to be open and honest and not be all smiles. Not the media darling most saw her as. Some days she wanted to cuss like a sailor. Give the inconsiderate Karen a glare for judging her generation and what they thought was right for the world. Eat without cameras and eyes constantly staring her down. It was exhausting, but it was the life she had been given and the one she was most used to.
Hearing the word âshredâ made the actress snort, but Mackenzie had seen it before with so many people. They were nervous, and as much as she wanted them not to be, she could understand the feeling. She still got nervous around certain people and said funny things, âSure. We can shred.â Her smile had brightened at that point, until the girl standing in front of her had mentioned that the town had sucked, âReally? I donât think itâs that bad. But Iâve only been here a couple of months.â The town did have character. That was for sure. And she had seen an array of people at Dance Macabre. Surprisingly enough, she occasionally got recognized, but most people there wanted to have a good time and dance the night away. Not paying attention to the bartender serving their drinks. Plus, she always had the âI get that a lotâ line in her back pocket if need be. âWell I appreciate it. I thought pantomime could be a way to branch out, but Iâve been getting some pretty interesting reactions from people, so Iâm thinking a different hobby might be the way to go.â Dance it was. And maybe songwriting, if she could get back into it and find somebody to write with.
âHonestly, youâre not any weirder than what Iâve seen in the past. I had a fan bite me once. That was fun.â She rolled up her sleeve on her right arm to show off the scar from the bite marks, before pulling it back down. âNeedless to say, conventions are now off the table permanently.â She shuddered to think about that day and the consequences that followed - still not realizing the biggest one. That whoever bit her had been infected with the zombie virus. âI mean as long as they didnât charge you a ridiculous amount and you had fun, I think it still countsâŚâ Mack knew exactly what she was talking about, and often veered away from the mascots and furries that roamed the streets of Hollywood and New York. âI donât think I caught your nameâŚâ Mack stuck out her hand to formally introduce herself, âMackenzie Ross, but you can call me Mack.â
---
A compliment like that coming from somebody like Mackenzie Ross could have ended Van completely. The urge to go home and take to the forums, to explain that everyone speculating why Mackenzie had disappeared from the public was wrong, overshadowed pretty much anything else at that moment. Van wanted to defend this woman she didnât really know with her life. Or, maybe with a few words on the internet. She was practically glowing at the idea that Mackenzie thought she could have been something, despite never really having any kind of dream for herself.Â
âOnly a couple of months..â She trailed off slightly, brows furrowing. That meant that Mackenzie hadnât been introduced to the most terrible things the town had to offer. But how had she hidden in plain sight, right under her nose? Then again, sheâd been so busy with so many things that it made it hard to pay attention to the exciting things. Okay, maybe busy was an exaggeration. Though, she had been fighting for her life a couple of different times. âI hope that you decide it doesnât suck for a while longer.â It was the best wish she could give Mackenzie, she realized. There was no way that Mack Ross had disappeared from the city of angels just to learn pantomiming, right? No way. âYou should try something else!â Van wanted to ask if the blonde was researching for another role, but even Van knew that the internet had its evidence of Mackenzieâs reason for stepping away, even if she didnât want to listen to any of it. âIf you ever need any tips, I can help you.â With what, Van wasnât sure, but was she ever going to get a chance like this again?
âA fan bit you? Thatâs so gross, Iâm so sorry.â The idea of being bitten by somebody she didnât know made her feel sick to her stomach, for more than one reason. Van looked at the bite mark nervously before looking back up to meet the blondeâs eyes. âUh, yeah, and I donât blame you.â Did you press charges? Van wondered how many other things Mack had gone through that werenât revealed to the public, and though she knew she didnât deserve any of that knowledge, a part of her did want to know. âI know who you are! You donât need to introduce yourself to me.â A nervous laugh bubbled in Vanâs chest as she stuck out her own trembling hand. She took a deep breath, trying her best at a convincing, though nervous smile. âVan! Not like the car.âÂ
---
Mackenzie noticed Vanâs hand shaking. She always found it fascinating the way people would act around her. But she had learned a long time ago never to put people on a pedestal. The lesson came after she had met someone she had looked up to and admired for most of her life, only to work with them and find they werenât the most pleasant person to walk the Earth. And she knew they had their reasons, but even on days when she felt like she just couldnât, she still managed to find kindness. You could still be nice, and not be all smiles and super friendly.
Giving her a firm handshake, she pulled back her hand and shoved it back down in her pockets, âItâs nice to meet you Van, not like the car.â A warm, welcoming smile spread across her face. âAnd yeah, Iâm at least gonna try and stick it out for a while. Itâs not what Iâm used to, but I like the house Iâm living in and the view is pretty nice. Plus, the few people I have interacted with havenât seemed too terrible.â Mackenzie was hoping it would lead to some friendships with people. It was nice having a few close friends in your corner, especially when you just wanted to get your mind off of things. Living life alone had been so hard, when she had grown up in the spotlight with all eyes on her most days, âOh? What would you recommend? Miming isnât set in stone. Iâm just looking for fun things to do.â Anything that didnât involve hordes of people, she was down for these days.
âJust a part of life in the spotlight I guess. Funny thing was they never tried to reach out or anything afterwards. And I never pressed charges. I probably should haveâŚâ The last part had been more to herself than anything, but sometimes she still wondered why the person did it. What was the desire in biting somebody? If it was to leave a permanent mark on Mackenzie, they certainly did along with several stitches and a tetanus shot.
---
Van kept her smile up as she withdrew her hand, pulling it to her chest. Mauricio would freak out knowing she had met Mackenzie Ross. Something finally happened in Wickedâs Rest that wasnât absolutely terrible! Go figure! She would definitely rub it in Leilaâs face, that was for sure. âOh, Iâm sure itâs awesome!â When you had money, you could make just about anywhere nice. But Van didnât think that Mackenzie was that type of personâ the one whoâd shove their wealth in everybodyâs faces. Maybe she needed a break from everything. Wickedâs Rest was usually in the news, but for nefarious reasons. Maybe sheâd be safe here with all the weird sleepwalking people got into here. âIâm glad you like it though, it can be a little weird sometimes.â She scrunched her nose.Â
âNo, miming sounds super cool! If you want to do it, you should totally try it out! But there are, like, a ton of other things.â She tried to think about the plethora of options that Wickedâs Rest had to offer, but wasnât sure if Mackenzie would be exactly down for any of them. âThereâs hiking, if you like to do that. I donât really like it, because I hate sweating, but there are some really nice trails! Iâve seen them in pictures.â She grinned at Mackenzie, thinking of what she might see on instagram down the road. Then again, sheâd been too caught up in her own drama to notice that the actress hadnât updated it in awhile.Â
Van nodded seriously, considering what pain she went through after being bitten. Even if she hadnât gotten sick, it must have been traumatizing. âIâm really sorry that happened to you, that like⌠really blows.â Van probably would have quit acting after that, honestly. âBut hey, we gotta live in the moment, right?â She tilted her head to the side, considering what she had said and it holding no actual weight since she did not live life in the moment.Â
---
âIâm blessed to be able to escape and still have a place to go.â Even if it is very empty and lonely. The last thing Mackenzie had wanted was to have run. To have left everyone and everything she ever cared about behind. And now her life consisted of standing here talking to a stranger about pantomiming. It was definitely not on her bingo card for the year or ever really, âThank you. And thanks for your kindness. I feel like most people just want a picture or autograph and thatâs it. Iâve really enjoyed our conversation. Knowing that people like yourself reside here makes me think I may have made the right choice.â Was running really ever the right choice? Especially when murder was on the table?
âHave you done it? Would you try it?â Mack had gotten so many different answers about miming and whether or not to do it. At this point she had somewhat second guessed herself, and it didnât help that she still didnât have a clue where most things were around Wickedâs Rest. If you included the many parks, the beach, and neighborhoods it wasnât the smallest place, but it did have that small town vibe with privacy, for the most part, and thatâs why the decision to stay here was getting a little easier. âOkay, I think you just spoke the magic words, because I absolutely love hiking and really doing anything outdoors. Case and point.â She motioned to Vanâs skateboard.
Looking back up, Mackenzie shrugged her shoulders, âYou really donât have to apologize. Itâs very sweet, but unless you were the person who bit me, which I donât think you are, it is what it is.â If only she had known that the actions of one person had had so many consequences in her life. âBut youâre right. Carpe diem.â The last time Mackenzie had really lived in the moment, she ate Brody. Maybe living in the moment when she was hungry wasnât the best idea, âUh, so I was actually headed to grab a bite to eat.â Lies. âDo you want to come?â
---
Van couldnât fully understand Mackenzieâs contentment with simply existing, but she could understand being grateful for having somewhere to go. After everything that had happened between herself and her grandma, at least she was left with the house. Then again, it was her parentsâ to begin with, and it had been her name on the will. Her lips pressed into a line and she nodded. âI like that. Iâll start using that.â Maybe she would, maybe she wouldnât. She could use positivity in her life, even if she didnât necessarily believe in it. When Mackenzie commented on the fact that she hadnât asked for an autograph, she kicked herself. She was definitely hoping for one, but now that she had impressed her by not asking for one, she couldnât just ask!Â
âOh, yeah, totally. Iâm like, super chill. The coolest of the cool, ice cold and all that.â Van felt the nerves bubble in the pit of her stomach and she did her best to shoo them away. The last thing she wanted was to give Mackenzie the impression that she couldnât be chill. Because she totally could. âI hope that nobody else bites you while youâre here.â Sheâd heard about it being something that happened, and even if it was weird, it wouldnât happen twice to one person, would it? âMiming? No, I donât think so. Not really my thing.â She could be quiet, but she really liked to talk, and she thought she made too many noises of discontent to really get the whole mime thing down. âBut I think that you could totally do it if you really wanted to.âÂ
Van looked down at her board and she nodded. âThis is the limit. Iâll scrape my knees, but I really donât want poison ivy on my shins.â If Maine even had poison ivy. She wasnât really sure. At Mackâs joke, Van shook her head. âNo! No way. Iâve never been to Los Angeles either, so like, thereâs no way I would have done that.â She had bitten somebody once, but they deserved it. And it didnât leave a scar like that. Slightly shocked by Mackâs invitation, she pointed towards herself with her index finger. âYou want to have lunch with me?â Oh god. She wasnât prepared for this. Where would she take Mackenzie Ross? All she had was a hundred bucks in her checking account, and Mack Ross was, like, famous, so that probably meant somewhere fancy would be the choice. âUmâŚâ She bit her lip, deciding that going into further debt might be worth it, âhell yes I do!â She practically pumped her arm into the air, board above her head. She winced slightly at the amount of excitement she was exuding, tucking her board to her chest again. âI mean, yeah, thatâd be really cool. Um.. do you have any favorites yet?â Please donât be expensive, please donât be expensive. âI could get you a sick discount on some pizza, if you wanted?â Van added as an afterthought.
---
It wasnât exactly how she had seen her day going running into a fan and having a full blown conversation, but it had been nice. Van was actually really sweet and it was nice getting some input of fun things to do in the area, âHey, you donât have to be anyway but yourself around me. Iâm not that special. Trust me.â Mackenzie wanted Van to feel comfortable. Sometimes when people got super nervous or super excited around her, it became awkward, and she was just grateful that today hadnât been one of those days, âI hope nobody bites me too.â Or that I donât bite anybody. Mackenzie knew she wasnât alive anymore, but she hadnât thought about the consequences of biting or scratching somebody else. It was still too much for her to process that she had to survive off of brains, if she wanted to stay Mackenzie Ross.
âI donât think itâs a lot of peopleâs thing, except maybe those people who work at that restaurant.â Mackenzie shrugged, âMaybe Iâll stick with youtube videos.â It would be better than potentially getting scammed from someone who claimed to know about miming, but didnât.
Mack followed Vanâs eyes back down to the board. She had a point. Scraped knees were one thing, but constantly scratching because of some devil plant was another. She had experienced this torture first hand on one of the movies she was working on, and it was horrible. But what was even worse had been the nest of yellow jackets she accidentally walked over while filming the same movie. She was down for several days after that incident. The young actress shuddered at the thought, before snapping out of a flashback, âYou know, you have a point. Poison ivy is not fun and neither are yellow jackets. But I am glad to know these arenât your teeth marks on my arm.â She laughed. âAnd yeah, I do want to have lunch with you.â I canât taste anything, but itâs something that keeps me busy and not alone, so here we are. âI love pizza. Especially pineapple and jalapeno. And, like, the spicier the better.â Mackenzie was glad she had opted to stay and talk, and because of it, she had made another new friend in a town that was starting to feel a little less lonely each day. âLead the way.â
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Hello! Excuse me for jumping in your DMs, but I'm a little confused about myself and I wanted to ask you a question if that's okay. How did you know you were in a system? Can you tell when someone different fronts? And what does that feel like? I think I may be plural myself and I'm having a hard time understanding what I'm feeling.
You do NOT need to reply to this if this is too invasive or uncomfortable, and if it is, I'm super sorry!
1. How did you know you were in a system
I'm gonna be honest, I got way too high. That's how I found out. If I never smoked weed, I genuinely think I'd still be blissfully unaware.
When I turned 18, my best friend's mom gave me some edibles. Maybe not the best decision, but like free drugs. Obviously, having never consumed weed before, I had no tolerance. This led to me "teleporting" around and feeling like I was floating away.
For a while, I was convinced that I broke my brain because it kept lingering. I was still teleporting. I was still feeling like I was floating away. Then it suddenly hit me that I've always felt like that. Turns out, weed makes me disassociate. I started having a bit of a substance abuse problems when I realized this because, my exact words if I remember correctly, "it already feels like I'm high, I'm just making it so that it feels less weird because now I'm supposed to be high". I looked into it for a while, but was like, "Nahhh, but there aren't any guys in my brain though. I'd KNOW"
And so, once again, I got way too high and someone else fronted that was very much objectively "not me". It was a young child who couldn't talk. Up to this point, me and my friend were making "jokes" that I had it. Like obviously there is more to it than that, and I'm not endorsing drugs. That's just how it worked out for me.
Looking back, there were many warning signs, but I am still sometimes I'm worried that I'm experiencing psychosis because I'm pretty sure I experienced psychosis in middle school, but also I have a tendency to exaggerate things in my head so maybe I was just being normal imaginative thinking that everyone around me wasn't real and that I was dead. Idk idk. (Whoopsie, trauma dump)
But like looking back, there were some clues. I remember having time gaps. Like there is video evidence that I was in a play as a kid and I remember practicing for it, but I also remember being very frustrated that "I practiced all for nothing because every adult in my life just stopped talking about it for some reason" but also maybe that's normal 4 year old stuff.
I also remember in 6th grade being confused why the moment I left science class, I'd not remember science class.
I used to "talk to Jesus" kind of like how I "talk" to the other guys in my head. Idk. Maybe Jesus did that stupid church play. (I have no actual proof that I had a Jesus alter)
When hanging out with people, sometimes I'd feel genuinely out of control with my actions. Like I couldn't stop myself from doing somethings. Or like I'd be doing stuff that I wasn't actively trying to do.
The teleporting thing I mentioned earlier
Being told by my best friend how inconsistent I was. "I thought you hated eggs". It was mostly food. I just chalked that one up to Autism. I chalked most of these things up to Autism.
Sometimes when I "spaced out" I'd have multiple trains of thoughts and I'd randomly come into them.
I'm kind of banking rn, I'm gonna be honest
2. Can you tell when someone different fronts?
Kind of. Sometimes it feels like different moods and the moods have feelings. Sort of. That's what it felt like before I actually knew what was happening. I just assumed it was because I was autistic and masking. Like I noticed I acted distinctly different in social situations, but once again assumed it was masking. And that when I was masking, I was also masking my opinions and feelings.
Now since I'm more aware, it's easier. The three easiest to tell are Klause (that's me), Winter, and Bowie. Bowie can't talk and the thought of talking makes her want to throw up. Technically she can talk, but it makes her anxious. That's pretty easy to figure out. She's also pretty childish.
Winter has more disassociation than everyone else and is just really easy to tell. It's hard to explain.
And I think I might just be biased towards myself. I'm fairly childish, but in an adult way. Me and Winter have been the main fronters recently so Its kind of like If it isn't him, it's probably me. Our friend is honestly better at telling than us.
There are two main kind of switches. Possessive and nonpossesive. Ours are nonpossesive. It's kind of hard to explain, but it's more like there is a single consciousness but it morphs into who's fronting. There's still consciousness, though.
3. What does it feel like?
This one is kind of a hard one since I've lived with it for basically my whole life that I can remember. It's kinda like asking what being Autistic feels like I guess.
It depends on who it is.
I genuinely can't explain this super well. But some of the alters have specific vibes almost? Like one of them feels like a nostalgic smell I can never place. I can't remember which one does this because I'm super sleepy. It's 3 AM for me and I was moving. I was typing this in-between that so if it's disjointed I'm really sorry. I like answering questions and maybe you'll get a different view point from someone else next time Lol.
-Klause
Also don't worry about it being invasive or uncomfortable. I like being asked questions
#ask#did#did system#slay#alter#system#did alter#dissasociative identity disorder#tw: drugs#tw drugs#complex dissociative disorder#dissociative disorder#dissociative identity disorder#actually did#actually dissociative#did introject
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Hey hey hey! Sorry for the late reply but I FINALLY WROTE SOMETHING!! literally when you @âd me the Ray Bradbury quote I was like âwelp thatâll do itâ and finished the kuroo Drabble. Itâs def not my fav but itâs a start! After I wrote that I wrote a Yams story that was originally gonna be a part of a different series that I scrapped. But I really like the idea so I made it a one-shot. I really like it and am proud of it!! I just hope by the time you read this someone else besides me has read it đ
. I donât Necessarily want it to blow up or anything but starting out as a fanfic writer is hard. How did you do it?
About the books thing growing up I lived with my grandparents and wasnât really connected to the internet like kids my age were until like 8 (which is still v young but I grew up kinda fast so 8 was like 13 to me I guess) so I just read a lot cause we didnât have much to do (and talking to people was hard- so books it was) besides watch the same old movies on VHS and play with Polly pockets. A lot of my toys were my aunts who was like a decade older than me as well. All of that was some of the reasons I identified a lot with the gen before me and I remember talking with my (other) aunt whose like nine years older and her friend reminiscing about when they were kids and I was like âahh I remember thoseâ and sheâs like gIRL HOW U WERE LIKE TWOđ fanfic has ruined actual books for me. Not saying fanfic is way better, and I still like to read actual books, but why get invested in all these new characters when you can read about the ones you already know and love? And plus itâs more convenient then actually carrying a book around.
OOH REMEMBER WHEN I TOLD YOU HOW I ALWAYS GET HIT WITH BALLS AND YOU WERE LIKE HEY THAT SOUNDS LIKE A GOOD FANFIC IDEA? well thatâs not exactly how it happened but guess what! Iâm writting it! I have 630 words down so far so I know itâs at least gonna hit the 1000 mark at the rate Iâm going. Iâm so excited for you to read it!! Also I may take you up on the editing or whatâs it called Beta reading? Where people read it over and give the ok to post? I was gonna do that with the Yams one shot but I was too excited! I will absolutely keep u in mind tho, thank you!!!
And for the thing about the schools and the pillowsâŚI CANT BELIEVE I WAS RIGHT WHAT THE FUCK??? that is so wild to me omg. Also American tv is fucking weird when it comes to sex. Like when I was in high school only a few people had sex and it wasnât a big deal? I mean I was very introverted and wasnât popular so I might not be the best resource but still. Maybe itâs a newer thing not to care as much about sex with a more body positive gen or wherever but I donât really think peer pressure or anything was a big deal. Honestly? Peer pressure in general barely exists anymore. Adults were always like âsay no to peer pressureâ when it was just one guy offering weed or whatever and a person saying nah and that was IT. I think there was more pressure in feeling left out if anything. The media is so weird portraying teens but we gotta remember- these are old people writting and producing these shows. They also get paid to make it dramatic and not realistic.
I hope everything worked out with your ex boyfriend/boyfriend! And I totally donât think you are ranting and if you are, shot just call me a therapist LMAO. dating is so fucking messy. Everyone expects it to be certain kind of way and they get anxious when itâs not. People gotta learn that relationship differ for everyone and itâs ok to break up and move on when you feel like things arenât working out! There doesnât have to be hard feelings or anything either idk why society has to make breaking up so messy- I know it can be and things donât always end well but they can end normally and you donât need to feel bad about doing whatâs best for both of yâall. Staying in a relationship that doesnât feel right Is just bad for both parties. Then again, Iâve never really been in a relationship and Iâm still a virgin because Iâm demisexual and that strong connection is vital and Iâm too fucking busy with my own shit to get that. But I think what I said still stands. Bruh Iâve been reading so much fanfic and while reading Iâm like âwow this shit would never happen to me and my shy assâ bUT I STILL WANT A MEET CUTE!!! but I have to remember that Iâm reading about anime men who are too good to be real LMAO. I have high standards ig. Finding a partner is gonna be fun. Also I know what you mean when you said being Intimate is hard because girls are taught to always say no to sex for multiple reasons. A. Religion and purity for being a female and slut shaming and B. R*pe and sexual assault. Like I listen to too many true crime stories! I know the statistics! And people just hook up with others??? Wtf??? Idk this might just be my demisexual ass but no thank youuuu
BRO I WISH I HAD SMALL FEET! THEY DONT MAKE CUTE SHOES FOR BIG ASS FEET LIKE MINEEEE. When I was a freshman I learned about how having small feet was attractive in china and how they would bind the feet of women to have small cute feet but I never heard of small feet being lucky. I did hear about big feet meaning big- uh I assume you know where Iâm going with that.
I donât read my journal that much cuz ig makes me wanna cry but I do read it when I feel particularly down. I still have contact with Kylie (I think I called her that- since i used fake names for them both) but we donât talk much. Sadly I donât have Daias number which makes me so sad cuz I miss her dearly.
Ok so the murder in my town was kinda on brand for it??? OK LEMME EXPLAIN. I live in an upper middle class town with good schools and such so a lot of wealthy families move here. Some areas of this town are more fancy than others (the farther away from downtown you are- i happen to live pretty close to downtown but ANYWAYS) even some big celebrities mentioned wanting to move here. my town has a pretty uppity spoiled reputation because of that. Like most of the crimes around here are from spoiled brats that get bored and do drugs or rob people. The culprit of this case was spoiled by his mother in every degree as a child and refused to be independent and when his mom cut him off he killed both of his parents and his one sister and her husband (bc the sister kept telling him and Their mom that he needs to get a life.) the sister and her husband live in the town over so technically it didnât just happen in the town i live in (but!!! My old residental school was IN THAT TOWN! not the same area since they lived in the nice mansion part but still.) I also got lunch with my old teacher (the one with the books) and told her about the case and she original thought I was talking aBOUT A DIFFERENT MURDER! THAT HAPPENED EVEN CLOSER TO ME IN MY TOWN. sheâs like âoh is it the case where the lady drowned her kids in the bathtub?â LIKE IM SORRY- WHAT??? she like âoh yeah it happened a lil while ago tho. The college bought the house and now they use it for administration or something since no one wanted to move there.â THIS IS THE SAME COLLEGE RIGHT DOWNTOWN!!! I PROBABLY WALKED PAST IT BEFORE WHEN I GOT LOST GETTING CUPCAKES. ok quick side note- my high school was downtown and we had free lunch where we can go off campus for food and I decided I wanted a cupcake from this cupcake place not that far from the school. Since I didnât wanna be late I pulled up my old friend google maps to take me back the quickest way- THAT WAS A BAD IDEA!!!!! I ended up wayyyyy out of downtown and into this weird residental housing street soooo far away. I ended up calling my mom like âmoooommmmâŚ. I think Iâm lost.â And she was like ???? âArenât u at school???â THEN I HAD TO SEND MY ADRESS AND SHE PICKED ME UP. I WAS SITTING ON THE SIDEWALK ALL ALONE AND SAD. I WAS LIKE 16!!! my mom wasnât even mad LMAO. She just sighed and told me to get in. It was a good cupcake tho. ANYWAY BACK TO MURDER- apparently one of her students parents got murdered too or something like a decade ago⌠LET ME JUST RESTATE THAT I LIVE IN THE MOST PICKET FENCE UPPITY TOWN EVER. I know what Iâm saying makes it look all shady but the town i live in is one of the safest towns in the country- let alone my state. It just goes to show a lot of shady things happen when you arenât looking for them. A quick google search goes a looooong way if you know what I mean- hopefully that doesnât scare you if it did Iâm so sorryyyy lol.
Iâve heard a lot about some famous cases from Japan, like the one about the little girl that killed her classmate (THAT SOUNDS SO BAD OUT OF CONTEXT WTF) or the Kyoto Anime massacre and the Junko Furuta case. The last two are very interesting to me in different ways. The first because Iâve never heard of anything like that happening before and the outcome is very unique? If that is the right word and just different from other arson cases when it comes to the motive and even the aftermath is different, like the perpetrator being the first person to receive a full body artificial skin graft. And because Kyoto Animations is a very big anime company which produced movies and shows that I- a person so far away- has watched before. And the Junko Furuta case was one of the few cases that ever made me cry and stuck with me for a while (that makes me seem so cold blooded I just donât cry often because when I do EVERYTHING comes out) - but it was some of the most gruesome shit I have ever heard. I feel like the way Iâm mentioning them is kinda disrespectful but I donât want to go into detail about them because A. Itâs really depressing for a tumblr ask and B. I wouldnât do the stories justice. You also probably know about them anyway since you also like true crime and live closer geographically but if not I heard both of these cases from the YouTuber I mentioned a few times before Elenor Neale. Junkos case is kind of similar to one that happened here about a girl named Sylvia Likens, just in terms of sheer brutality.
OK THATS ENOUGH MURDER! but I wish I lived closer to Japan, since my mom told me sheâd take me there after I graduated at some point- but she needs to get on a smaller plane first since sheâs never been on one and the first one sheâs going on will not be the 14 hour flight to Japan. So now Iâm kinda just waiting and saving up lol.
I believe you did tell me about hearing voices in your house! Very spooky indeed. One time in a different house, a doll appeared on my bed out of nowhere (apparently it was my aunts who gave me to Polly pockets so that part wasnât that weird) but the doll had a gold necklace with a smiley face pendant with a big round nose. Everyone says they never seen it before and honestly? I believe them. I have no idea where it came from and I held it close to me (bc spooky things are cool) until my little sister got jealous and broke it smh.
OOOH IM SO EXCITED ABOUT YOUR STICKER BUSINESS!!! IT SOUNDS SO COOL! I donât play Genshin myself but my best friend does so I know some things about it. Her fav character is childe so I know zhongli and how heâs a god of some sort that childe buys everything for. I know there is a best friend duo and one of them hunts ghosts (bc my bestie said they remind her of us) and i know that childe calls everyone comrade and heâs a fatui harbringer with a little brother who thinks he is a toy maker. Oh and pimon (I think is her name) is annoying and Klee is cute and makes bombs. Oh thereâs also Ito whoâs like an Oni thatâs a himbo and Thoma (I like him a lot. Heâs cute) with the lil doggo! Your Zhongli sticker is so cute!!!
Iâm also glad you take time to chat with me!! It makes me so happy whenever I get these messages. I hope you like my writting! By the time you get this my bokuto fic should be out!!!
And here! Take some cat pics as a treat!
i'm back with a communicable brain. dude, would you believe that i am building a sleigh.. a freaking life sized santa sleigh for christmas?? it's for community competition and i was tasked to build a sleigh and 9 reindeers. ugh, it's fun but very tiring i might be able to show you the sleigh the next time i write to you.
i read feline antics and kuroo in your fic is canon!! omg lol and when you mentioned about yams fic i was like "wait...why is the fic not on my dash (considering that i have few mutuals/following)." then it turns out I DIDN'T FOLLOW YOU?? WHAT THE HECK i swear i thought i did last time i read feline antics but my pea brain forgot or thought i did (i'm very forgetful if you hadn't catch on yet. might as well name myself dori ffs) anyway, so i followed you and saw your yams fic and holy shit??? 6k?? DUDE 6K?? woah, i am so so proud of you because i remember you mentioned to me before that you couldn't write anything/one shots because you always tend to drop them off or left them unfinishes bUT 6K?? DAAAMN. i really like the way you portrayed yamaguchi's anxiety because it's raw, heartfelt in a way that i could feel his worries through your writing. i'm sorry if this entire paragraph is a commentary about your recent works gsmsbsns lol and about beta reading... ARE YOU SURE?? ME?? WHAT AM I?? kidding but i'm always down maybe we can talk over it on discord if you have one (i rarely open my dms here bc opening dms means opening notifications and if im not in the right mood to check notifs i tend to forget to reply to comments, ask games, etc. aghh you know that gsnsbs)
how i started out as a fic writer is not actually a plan lmao after watching haikyuu i reopened my dying tumblr blog bc i know that great artists thrive here so i wanted to check out artworks of haikyuu. then, i saw that a number of blogs writes for haikyuu and i was like "wow fics are still a thing here on tumblr, huh." then i tried writing my own and took my tendency to daydream about my fixations to my advantage. i love thinking about how these set of characters react to a situation (this prolly the reason why i took up psychology as a major lol i love observing people and their personality and behavior) then out of whim i posted. not really thinking of numbers or feedbacks, i posted bc i know that only a few people will get to see it so there are less judgments on me since i'm a beginner writer on this platform. then, as i kept posting more and more people came to my blog. and although now, i still am not a huge blog, it's always good to keep a mindset that you're writing for yourself (tho numbers are rewarding, we get that) and that the people who read your works doesn't know you. you can't be judged based on your writing bc that's just one side of who you are and it also comforts me to think that there people who genuinely enjoy my work. i'll be lying if i say that there are no times where my priorities lean towards writing for my audience. i did at one point but ended on a writer's block lol. if you keep it that way you'll end up burntout (this happened to me too before heh). so, in short, i started writing just because i can and i didn't really thought about the negative things people will think of me, i just did bc i enjoyed it. also, i think consistency plays a huge role in thisă
Ąnot only to keep people engaged but also to keep writing as a habit. if you make it a habit, your writing gets better and better. that's just based on my experience lol. alsooo tho one year of writing here is still a short-time, i have never encountered anyone calling me a shitty writer and to stop writing because my words are useless and childish LOL what i'm trying to say is worries about people judging you and your work doesn't happen often and if that ever happens, they're the problem, never yours. so yeah i keep that in mind too. AND if that ever happens to you, i'll be on the frontline defending you. leave the roasting to me lol.
about the tv shows and sex (i feel like i have to at least give a topic beforeni start a paragraph bc i reply SO LATE that i feel like you might have forgotten what we were talking about) i agree! it's more of the pressure of being left out. one is pressured to hangout after school because of the fear of not being included in a group. tho i was peer pressure to kiss someone in class for fun but i was like "uhm, nope!" so i made a petty (i think wise *wink*) excuse of going to the comfort room first before doing it but what i did was i went straight home without telling anyone. i am not doing that for their entertainment lol đand that's cool kids for you đ
OH! ex boyfriend... uh.. it's a girlfriend 𤣠everything worked well so thanks! we broke up lmaooooo welp it's for the best. im onto finding a better match i guess lol bruuhh i get the strong connection but besides that i also want someone to balance me out. i'm literally just a speck of dust sometimes, you know floating and minding my own business aka my fixations and hobbies in life. kudos to you tho! you give spot on advice. i mean having zero experience is okay when you give out relationship advices bc to me i think that's a fresh perspective.
yeah, small feet are lucky. small faces are pretty. button noses are pretty. small curvy lips are pretty. everything has to be small to be lucky or pretty but eyes... IT HAS TO HUGE AND DOE-LIKE i swear to fucking god the beauty standard here is ridiculous tho people my age dont usuallu give a fuck about it lol but the older generations OH THEY DO but that doesnt matter we were taught to respect elders and their opinions (as part of our culture) but that doesn't mean we will up to their unrealistic expectations. oh just to mention to you! when i was a kid i was pretty active. i play outside a lot and i love ride my bicycle and do races with my friends. one time my aunt (my father's sister) warned me of not "playing too much" bc my calves will develop man like muscles and it's not a good for a girl to have calf muscles because if i wear a dress and heeled shoes it will show. i was i think 8 or 9 and i was like... sOMETHING IS NOT RIGHT so i went to my mom and told her about it and she was like "what?! she told you that?! that's an exaggeration! just keep cycling or running, don't mind her." (my mom doesnt really care about physical looks whereas my aunts-dad side CARE A LOT) they don't even like women wearing clothes that are too revealing so what i did was i wore a tube on a relative's birthday party. they cant call me out bc they know my dad doesnt care (he even buys me cropped tops) and my mom too. anyway, so yes small ankles and calves are a thing too. IT'S RIDICULOUS I SWEAR.
oh god the murders in your town?? THAT SOUNDS LIKE FROM AMERICAN HORROR STORY OR SMTH. is it not weird that the college bought where the murder took place? like if i were to study there i'll be thinking about it a lot... actually... that sounds a bit like my uni... not exactly my uni but the place where my uni sits. so my country was under a colony before (war times and all that) and the city where my uni is the main city where the locals and foreigners interacted during 1800s and since the woke locals are against the colonization, a lot of them were shot, killed, and thrown to the nearby river. and if you take a few strides from my uni there's like an underground tunnel recently discovered that turned into a tourist spot. it's downright creepy because the way down to the tunnel and the tunnel itself is sketchy tight, the way/tunnel leads to a huge boxed underground like a deadend. my friends and i went afterclass and when we reached the dead end we looked up and see like a railing(?) idk how to describe it but other tourists were shock that people are piling underground and they can see us. apparently, that hole used to be a prison for locals who fought for our freedom (and other criminals too) they were kept and stuck undergound, left them there to die (die of starvation and stuff). it was creepy bc i was literally standing where almost hundreds of people died and i didn't know. we only knew of it when we reached the dead end. as it turns out, there are many other tunnels with the same structure near the place. sooo yeah.
omg speaking of the two japanese murders you mentioned i dont know about them so ill check it out!! and about your cupcake incident OMG THATS SO CUTE WTH IM SORRY FOR LAUGHIN but i just think its adorable that you ended up lost for a good cupcake. cant blame you tho i loveee a good cupcake. where you able to get back in class without an earful?
ahhhh i live near japan but i can't fly there yet bc of school (but since i graduated who knows heh). you know how crazy asian schools are? yes, they're crazy. so my family and i barely have time to travel outside of the country without taking a week off from school. we traveled once before to two countries it was hongkong and vietnam but i had to file a one week leave (it was tedious with all the papers i have to submit and all that ugh) and thank god that one week is just school festival week so i didnt miss anything besides the fun. that was in elementary but came middle school and high school.. heckkk after class study sessions is real like the one in anime especially if you're a senior. i remember my mom's friend being a math teacher so every summer i go to their place to train my skills in math and i'm begging my mom not to drop me off to their place đ imagine spending summer solving math problems HA! still, i'm never the best in math lol
thanks for the wishes i hope to launch my sticker shop soon apparently i hae forgotten my skills on photoshop HA HA HA and i'm trying to recall my lessons on it BUT FUCKKK anyway you a lot for someone who doesnt play genshin if you ever plan on playing it soon let me know!! i would love to know (its funny how you mentioned almost all daddies of genshin bc saaaame ughh childe supreme sugardaddy and a meme)
here are some haikyuu stickers i made recently it isnt final yet butttt here have a look!
WHY ARE YOUR CATS SO PHOTOGENIC?? THEYRE ALL SO BEAUTIFUL AND SOOO CALMING TO LOOK AT!! THATS UNFAIR bc momo knows when a cam is pointed at her and she just runs away. and the huge pikachu too!! I WANT THAT AAAHHH
here have momo sitting on the sleigh im working on hehe
sorry for the long wait but i lovee writing to you whenever i receive a message from you i get all excited! you're a good communicator and thanks for waiting for my replies since i take eons to do so. i hope you keep writing!! i'll always be here to support a friend and a fellow writer. cheers!
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Im. I love you? Your answer to that ask is beautiful, also I forgot about the other meaning for weed for a moment and got confused like, 'is morgana-ren a stoner? Beefy weed muscles???' and now i cant help but imagine stoned Shiggy. Specifically him forcefully shotgunning his captive because hes bored and if hes getting stoned she might as well too. Laughing at her when she gets spacey. This is a fun train of thought lol, thanks for inspiring it
I am a ridiculous and incoherent person. My first instinct is to literally reply with complete gibberish to most things. Shaming me has absolutely Z E R O effect because I have no shame. Iâm a ridonkulous person. Last time I got high, I just laid in bed singing âSecret tunnel, secret tunnelâ for like 3 hours.
To be fair, I would also do that completely buttfuck sober.
Gods I wish I had a gif of Shig smonkin some donk wods, but since I donât, youâll have to settle for me writing it.
PSA after the fact: I AM SO SORRY IT GOT A LIL CREEPY BUT TO BE FAIR, ITâS ME AND IF YOU SENDIN ME SHIT YOU KNOW YOU HAVE TO BE REAL FECKINâ SPECIFIC OR ELSE IâM GUNNA MAKE IT CREEPY also weed hits me way different than it does most folks so itâs really hard for me to be able to accurately describe how it might be to anyone else. SO imagine this is supervillain quirky weed he has special made to calm his...uh,.. never ending rage. also itâs ridiculously longer than I planned. cause I get carried away. anyway love you!
His room is dank and smells like mold and must.
Tight metal bindings cut into your wrists, leaving you raw with crusted blood despite the fact you stopped fighting days ago. Your tailbone feels bruised from constantly shifting on his worn down carpet, your legs prickling and aching from inactivity.
Heâs kept you bound here for a while, handcuffs looped through the foot of his bed. Youâre not entirely sure how long, since his ratty blackout curtains make it hard to see daylight. Heâs got them taped down, blocking out all but the tiniest slivers of light. Like most of his life, his room exists in total darkness.
Time has little meaning here.
He doesnât leave you alone often, only really exiting the room to bring you food which you refuse to eat. Most of it has been kicked into the corner, the soft buzz of fruit flies accumulating more and more by the day. It frustrates him, but heâs keen on reminding you that heâs patient. Youâll relent eventually.
Truth be told, your willpower is starting to give. Your body is stiff and sore, head perpetually aching from crying. His moods are like whiplash, one second crooning to you how special you are to him, the next backhanding you and calling you a stubborn bitch. You donât know what he wants from you. If the fates were merciful, heâd get it over with and just kill you.
Ending your life doesnât seem like itâs high on his list of priorities.
Heâs facing away from you now, tinkering with something on his desk by the light of his various computer monitors. You canât make out what it is, only that heâs been at it for the past ten minutes. Grateful as you are for his lack of attention, it always makes you nervous when he gets preoccupied. It usually means heâs working on some new and exciting way to break you.
You take comfort in the momentary peace, some temporary reprieve from the invasive leer of those horrid crimson eyes scanning over you in the darkness. Whatever heâs doing, thereâs nothing you can do to stop it. Only steel yourself against what he gives you when heâs finished.
He reaches into his desk, pulling out a plastic bag of something you canât make out. All you know is when you hear the ziplock open, a strange scent floods the room. It smells vaguely familiar, but between your fucked up headspace and even worse situation, you canât really bring yourself to care.
Leaning against the little metal bed leg youâre imprisoned against, you realize just how heavy your eyes are as you rest the back of your head on his threadbare mattress. Fighting off oncoming waves of pulsing anxiety takes most of your energy reserve, and bouts of sleep tend to come few and far between when youâre sleeping in the den of a predator.Youâre so tired, so worn down, and you donât know what else he could do to you that he hasnât already done or planning to do. It would be a lie to say you hadnât considered saying that to him, but you feel like tempting the universe or him isnât a great idea right now. Either way, your eyelashes feel like weights dragging you under into the sea of sleep.
Youâre almost there when his chair squeaks and you jolt awake, that overwhelming sense of dread coming over you. Your instincts blare and somehow you just know his eyes are on you again, waiting for you to acknowledge him. He wants your attention, and he expects you to give it.
Dragging your exhausted lids open when you know youâll have to see that terrifying man is a burden you havenât grown accustomed to having quite yet, but itâs one you bear anyway. Besides, you know that if he thinks youâre ignoring him, he has no problem forcing you to look at him. Itâs easier to just give him what he wants. He hurts you less that way.
So you do, and just like you expected, heâs simpering down at you, holding something you canât make out in his hands. Gulping comes on impulse; he looks far too pleased and that never bodes well for you.
âDo you know what this is?â
He holds it out and it takes you a second to make it out in the dark, but you know that basic shape.
âI-is that a pipe?â
âAt least you know that much.â He gives you a cheeky lip quirk, making heat rise in your cheeks. Palming it in one hand, he uses the other to fish in his pocket, one finger carefully pulled outside the kangaroo pouch of his jacket. Following his movements, your brows furrow and curiosity almost wills you to speak. The words stall in your mouth, however, when you see him pull a cheap lighter out between two fingers.
He flicks it a few times with his thumb, sparking the light and sending small cinders dancing across the his lap. After a few tries, it finally holds. The light across his face only makes him seem all the more sinister, exacerbating the shadows that reside in the craggy, marred flesh of his cheeks. The flame dances in his pupils and the orange tinged shine glimmers off the edges of his weirdly perfect, jagged teeth. Itâs extremely unsettling.
He lets the flame die, picking his pipe back up and tapping it on the desk once or twice.
âI donât do this often. I usually prefer to keep a clear head.â He lazily arches back in his chair, inhaling the dank stench of the sticky green plant packed in his pipe before returning his gaze to you. âBut in some cases, I find it can help you relax.â
Bringing the pipe to his face, he wraps his chapped lips around the bit and sparks the lighter again. You watch as the flame is sucked toward the bowl, igniting the contents and bringing them to a dull simmer.Thumb twitching on the carb and pinkie pulled away, he inhales, letting his head lull back on the seat of his chair. After a few seconds and a suppressed cough or two, he leans forward and exhales, sending a splay of thick, billowing smoke directly into your face.
You turn your head, watery eyes clinging shut, but itâs not enough to keep the acrid stench from clogging through your sinuses. It constricts your throat, compelling an instinctive cough from deep in your chest. Whatever it is heâs smoking, itâs strong.
His high pitched laugh echoes off the barren walls of his room as you scrunch your nose and try to disperse the smoke pooled in your face. When the air finally clears, heâs leaning toward you, arms resting on his knees with the pipe in one hand and his lighter in the other. The little embers still burn beneath the lip of the bowl, little grey spirals rising up from the still burning plant clusters.
He holds it out to you (as if you could take it with your hands restrained behind your back), hyena-grinning as you scowl up towards him.
âYou should try a little. It might make you a little more-â Pausing, he pretends to be in thought. More mockery, you really wish you were desensitized to it by now. â-friendly.â
âI would have been friendly if you hadnât kidnapped me like some sort of psychopath!â
He rolls his eyes at your outburst, languidly pushing himself off of his dilapidated computer chair and crouching down next to you instead. You know better than to kick at him, he wonât hesitate to break your legs to keep you in line. All you can do is stare at him nervously as he shakes his shaggy pale hair out over his forehead, still sporting that unnerving expression. His scarlet eyes burn arguably brighter than fire from the pipe, and exponentially more threatening.
He moves a little closer into your space, bringing the piece back up to his lips and lighting it up once again. He takes a deep inhale this time, even deeper than the first. Chest puffed and breath held, his lanky arm reaches out back behind him places the still-burning pipe back on the desk, gaze never leaving yours.You figure heâs going to blow it in your face again, either to be annoying or to try and give you some sort of shitty second rate high to make you more malleable.
Itâs obnoxious, but not even close to the worst thing heâs done to you.
Yet, his cold, dry fingers grab at your jaw, forcing you to keep your attention on him. A chipped nail from his thumb prods at your lower lip and you realize he wants you to open your mouth. You could tell him to go fuck himself, but that only gives him what he wants, if only for a moment. Instead, you choose to glower at him.
If looks could kill, he would probably keel over, but unfortunately you live in a world where he has the upper hand. He squints at you, something you know would be equally as furious as your own grimace if his features had the freedom to express it. The fingers on your chin clamp down, digging into your soft skin in a bruising grip. The more you defy him, the more he punishes you, and his large hands have more than the power they need to cause you pain.
Eventually you feel your jaw start to crack. You try to hold out, try to stay your ground, but it becomes too much. Between his brutal strength and your already weakened condition, itâs no use fighting him on something he really wants.
You open your mouth, if only to cry in pain, and he immediately crashes his lips against yours.Teeth clack as you try to shake him off, but itâs too late. Heâs breathing his air into your lungs, caustic mixture of the taste of the weed and the bitter scent of his breath swirling deep inside you. You try to heave it back at him, but the damage is done. Smoke barely seeps from the tiny cracks he allows between your faces, and your need to breathe is stronger than your ability to fight, so eventually, you relent.
You gulp the air he gives you down, just wanting him to get the fuck away from you. You can feel his lips quirk in a smile as you fight the urge to spit up from the foul scent of his exhale, ripped and bloodied lips scratching against yours. Eventually when he does pull away from you, you go into a hysterical coughing fit and between your bouts, you can hear him cackle.
You finally manage to calm yourself, but whatever it is heâs made you inhale, itâs strong. Stronger than anything youâre used to. Even second hand, your head is already humming, and you can feel your chest tighten against your will.
âYou feel it, donât you?â High pitched giggling and a weirdly gentle brush of a hand across your buzzing, swollen cheek. You go to swat him off, hissing in pain when the metal edge round holding you back cuts into an already existing cut. âSoon you wonât have any fight left in you at all.â
He leaves you alone for a minute, door clicking behind him. You catch your breath in his absence, eyes scanning your surroundings. You look for something, anything he has left within your reach that you can use to escape. Itâs what you do during the exceedingly brief moments heâs not around, and so far, it hasnât yielded any results, but you refuse to give up.
The curtains likely mean that thereâs presumably a window behind there. If you can just get free, you might be able to jump out. Problem is youâre stuck with your hands restrained behind you on a metal bed post. It doesnât matter how much you kick and scream, no one ever comes, so itâs probably safe to say whoever is below or above you doesnât give a shit. You need to get out of these cuffs.
He smokes, at least occasionally. Heâs probably got a bobby pin around here for scraping. If heâs anything like your mates, they probably litter the floor. To be fair, even if you get one, you donât really know what to do with it. You could try your hand at lockpicking?
Heh. Hand. Get it? Cause all those hands?
Focus.
The biggest problem right now is the handcuffs. Technically, you could get out of them, but youâd have to disjoint your fingers to do it, which takes away from your already pathetic chances at escaping. It hurts to move your wrists, let alone yank on them. Why the fuck did this asshole have handcuffs anyway? Unless heâs doing some kinky shit in his down time. You wouldnât put it past him, heâs obviously a weird guy. He seems like the type to be into some dirty stuff. You donât know who with, but thereâs probably villain fuckers out there he could find and take advantage of. Gross.
You audibly laugh.Thatâs funny.Thatâs really funny. You donât know why, but the thought makes you giggle uncontrollably. Your mind refuses to stay on track.
Fucking focus!
Somewhere far away, you hear the door open and his heavy footsteps off to the side of you. Too late. Youâre still laughing.
âHey Shigaraki-â
Heâs leaning down next to you, fucking with something behind you. Your hands. Heâs messing around your hands. Heâs cold. Why are his hands always so goddamn cold? Is that why heâs a villain? Cold hands? That would make you a villain too.
Your head feels several sizes too big, and you canât help but think about how he smells like dust. Everything feels slow. You can feel your heart pumping. You can hear it too.
â-You should like, just let me go.That would be kinda cool. My hands hurt.â
You donât notice they arenât even cuffed anymore, or that heâs scooping you up in his arms and gently placing you on his bed.
âDonât try to fight, now. You need a tolerance to before itâll feel normal. Youâll only hurt yourself, and that would be such a shame.â
You can tell heâs mocking you again, but you just chortle because the words are processing like a slurry. The back of your head feels so soft. Itâs definitely not the awful metal heâs made you crick your neck on the past little while. Heâs touching your arms and it tickles. Flashes of his face play in your mind a little slower than theyâre probably actually happening. Itâs terrifying, but the fear doesnât register. You wanna touch his face. You bet it feels funny.
You can hear the click of handcuffs again, and you know heâs cuffed you once again (so rude), just somewhere new now. Your fingers grip and you feel metal bars. A bed frame. Again. Uuugh. You kick your feet a little and they bounce off the mattress. Bouncy.
Thereâs a weight shift near your feet, and before you can really understand whatâs happening, heâs on top of you, face hovering less than an inch above yours. Your cheeks are burning as his flaxen hair tickles and curtains you, and no matter how hard you want to, you canât stop staring at his eyes. Theyâre so fucking intense you swear they scorch you. Like an abyss, you feel yourself being swallowed inside them as they stare long into you. Hate. Rage. So much embodied negativity you can practically feel it. Panic blooms in your chest but your body is reacting too slow. All you can do is squirm.
âShh-â Heâs caged your head in his arms, and his breath is glossing your cheek, just as sour as before but somehow you know whatâs about to happen is much worse than forcefully smoking you out. âThisâll be much better for you if you relax and give in. Who knows? You could even enjoy it.â
He grinds his clothed pelvis into yours, and while somewhere inside your head, sirens are blaring, all your body can process is pressure against your most sensitive area. You whine, and he takes the opportunity to press his lips to yours again. Your mouth is slack and moist, so itâs nice and easy for him to slide his slimy, disgusting tongue down your throat. With your brain short circuiting from both shock and whatever heâs made you consume, your body doesnât have enough control over its facilities to fight back.
He kisses you long and hard, if you can call whatever heâs doing to you kissing. Itâs more like heâs trying to devour you. Sloppy, wet, and possessive, like heâs trying to choke you with his essence. It could have been a minute. It could have been hours. You donât know.
When he does finally pull away, you can feel your stomach lurch as he laps at the string of spit that connects you to him, but you only blink your eyes wearily despite your extreme bodily reaction. You feel sleepy, or more accurately, your eyelids feel kinda heavy. Really heavy. Something visceral is telling you to stay awake, to keep fighting, but you just canât. You can hear yourself speak but you donât even know what youâre saying. You donât remember.
âYouâre cute like this, all spacey and stupid.â He flicks your forehead and your eyes flicker back open, but only briefly. âI guess it hit you kinda hard, huh? Sorry about that. I should have warned you. It mustâve slipped my mind.â
He presses his mouth to yours again, a little softer this time. Youâre almost out at this point, everything feels so heavy. So sluggish. You barely feel his long, thin fingers glide slowly up your shirt.
âI think you could come to like it here with me if you stop being stubborn. But thatâs okay. I forgive you. Like I told you before. Iâm patient. Iâll do whatever it takes.â
#Shigaraki#Shigaraki x Reader#tw implied noncon#drugging???#slight somnophilia#kidnapping#sorry weed actually hits me different than it hits other people#and when I tried to do research on how to accurately portray it they basically said you cant lmao#HE GETS YOU HIGH AS FECK BOI#It's special villain quirk weed dont ask lmao#this ended up ridiculous#just like me#it's doing that thing again where it cuts off the read more JUST under the ask#will someone send me a picture for how it shows up on your dash? Am I the only one seeing this?
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I'll admit, I don't yet have it figured out either. I'm still a mess mentally. I have a lot of trauma, and a good chunk of it is related to being autistic. I also happen to be queer on top of that. So... my love life has SUCKED.
Maybe it's a huge cope, but I think you're going to have to accept that the normal life (TM) is just not going to be YOUR life. Like, I'm sorry, but we're too different. There are some things that are going to be harder to pursue because of that. For instance... would it be a good idea for either of us to enter the business world? Maybe in some ways, people like us can make it work. Me personally? I somehow found myself working as an assistant in a higher business management office. I've come to find that I HATE IT HERE! My co-workers have started making it a point to make me feel like I don't belong there. As it would turn out, I'm not a good fit. Despite having found my way in a different social job. I've hit a brick wall. Let's face it, upper management is better suited for those who are extremely good at "the game." So socially crafty, they can get away with fucking with other people. That's the kind of person this line of work draws. Tbh, I'm not even sure why they hired me.
So, yeah. If working jobs and attempting various college majors has taught me anything... it's that outsiders need to find a NICHE. That's what drove me to pursue something a bit more out there in STEM. And by God... I'm actually getting along so well with some of the other people in this new major! They're just a bunch of nerds who like going outside a lot! Holy shit! I'd rather collect rock and water samples for the rest of my life... over working some "normal" job where I work in a stuffy office full of politics! Thankfully... I might be able to do work like that VERY soon!
Yep! The older I get, the more I embrace these "strange" aspects of myself! If it takes becoming a scientist for me to have a comfortable career... then so be it! I'm exploring so many "out there" concepts in fiction and art. My story ideas are weird, and I fucking love it! I'm also slowly presenting more and more alt... because even though I'm no longer a teenager... NO ONE GETS ME! But also, I've always liked the aesthetic but wouldn't indulge because of social pressure.
Idk... there's just something nice about "letting go." Letting go of social norms and whatnot. Like, last night, I ate an edible and smoked a bunch of weed. I know SO many people who STILL find shit like that "weird" and "dysfunctional." But honestly? I feel pretty darn good after doing it! Especially after going on a five-mile hike! I NEEDED THIS! I've been dealing with so much anxiety and this ANNHILATED it!
Easier said than done, but stop chasing social acceptance. Some of us already do accept you far more than you might realize. It's probably just going to be more work finding the people who are interesting and worthwhile. But, I mean, people like us are ABUNDANT on the internet! So that's a start!
I fucking hate being like this.
Why can't I be cishet able-bodied and neurotypical? Or at the very least, why can't I be accepted in society as someone who isn't?
And people ask me why I don't believe in a God.
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okay so this is gonna have SPOILERS so yeah donât read if you donât want them also warning that this is lowkey long sorry abt that i just typed whatever came to mindđ¤ˇđ˝
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okay so now that iâve had a minute(and smoked some weed) i want to talk about lestat and what just clicked to me as the weed hit
okay so to start i want to make sure this is not read as apologizing or excusing what lestat did, i am simply explaining how i interpreted why he did what he did because this is not the time for lestat apologists to âuwu my baby didnât mean itâ this shit and if yâall do yâall weird aslâŚanyways on to my analysis(is that what this is??)
so my friend has said before sheâs a very emotional person and when people hurt her feelings sheâs said that she wants to physically hurt them the way they hurt her emotionally so they know how she feels and that immediately came to me as i was smoking and thought about how far lestat went when he was beating louis
to me it came off as, like my friend has said, he saw louis choosing claudia over him and then he desperately screams âlouis!â and he lashed out on claudia for trying to take louis away, but then louis jumped on him and i think if we couldâve seen his face when it happened it wouldâve been one of surprise and hurt that louis would do that right??
okay, so then heâs telling louis that heâs trying to hold back, but then he gives in and beats the shit out of him and idk it just came to as he was trying to hurt louis as much as he physically could to make louis feel like he felt emotionally
then when they flew up and lestat told louis to tell him that heâll never love him and said that it would âmake it easierâ, heâs so used to people leaving him that he believes louis doesnât love him and wants to hear it from his mouth so that he can âlet him goâ now do i think he wouldâve actually killed louis?? nah, that man is down bad for louis, but do i think he wouldâve let louis die?? yeahđ¤ˇđ˝ he was so hurt and distraught that he would lose louis to claudia that he probably wouldâve let it happen and then felt guilty about it later
also for everyone who thinks he doesnât, louis does love lestat itâs fucking obvious but they donât love the same way and thatâs where the problem comes from between them, lestat fell in love with louis as soon as he met him but louis had been still learning to love lestat when claudia left and it doesnât make it any better that theyâre horrible at communicating their feelings with each other, louis doesnât like being vulnerable and neither does lestat and they show it differently
louis will let himself get consumed by whatever is troubling him and lestat will try to do anything to ignore his problems, so basically a match made in hell cause theyâre never going to learn how to love each other the right way if they donât let themselves be vulnerable
also want to touch upon him and antoinette causeđ¤Śđ˝that mf never learnsâŚi understand that he wanted sex or just non-sexual intimacy and he shouldâve communicated that(ik his bitch ass would never) but cheating?? all of yâall that wanted to press âlouis hooking up with jonah was worse cause he used to have feelings for him yadayadayadaâ can now pipe down and for the record itâs weird that yâall want to say what louis did was worse like lestat didnât cheat on louis in his face in their house BEFORE proposing an open relationshipđ¤Śđ˝ but whatever
and the trailer for the next ep?? they (i bet it was claudia tho) kicked lestat outđđ mf showing up with giftsđbro ik thatâs how you show you care but mf just COMMUNICATE AND APOLOGIZE PLEASE IM BEGGING THEM TO LEARN HOW TO FUCKING TALK TO EACH OTHERđđđ *sighs* the whole ending of that ep was expected(i had got it spoiled a while ago) but at the same time it was a little more than what i was expecting but i understand the shock value part and the intention behind showing that not everything is rainbows and flowers for them(i mean itâs a vampire show where they kill people and has gore) just kinda wish that it didnât leave me wanting someone to kill or beat the shit out of lestatđ
#interview with the vampire#amc iwtv#iwtv#amc interview with the vampire#lestat de lioncourt#louis de pointe du lac#claudia iwtv#iwtv claudia#amc iwtv spoilers#iwtv ep 5 spoilers#interview with the vampire episode 5 spoilers#interview with the vampire ep 5 spoilers#yeah how lestatâs gonna get louis to forgive him idk#maybe heâll show off his magic mike moves or sum
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20 Somethings - Part 1
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Eddie Munson x afab!reader/JoyceâsSister!reader
Summary: Joyceâs sister works at a record store and plays guitar in a band with some local pot-heads. When her coworker/bandmate invites his friend Eddie and his band to jam with them, she quickly becomes intrigued. (I suck at summaries).
Warnings: Smoking a joint while driving (donât do this?!), Slight (legal) age gap, drug use (weed), sexual undertones, flirting, hella swearing.
Hopper and the Byers are in Hawkins for the sake of this fic, and I may have ripped off readerâs band name from an actual band on accident? Sorry itâs so short for a part 1! Nothing too exciting yet, just laying the ground-work and testing the waters. This is my first real fanfic that Iâd count, and first multi-part fic, so please be gentle. Let me know if there are any errors that you see, and feedback is greatly appreciated! -H
 ââââ-
âChrist alive,â you mutter, giving your car radio a less-than-gentle smack. Driving with your knees while smacking your radio like a madman to jostle the tape and ashing the joint in your other hand all over your lap is probably not the safest way to drive. Actually, youâre breaking multiple laws right now, if you add in speeding.
Quickly glancing up you see Hopper, Sheriff of Hawkins, driving past you with a disgruntled, knowing look on his face. He gives you a small beep of his horn with an exasperated pointed look, warning you to put the damn joint out before another cop happens to drive by.
Knowing Hop since you were a kid and him being close with your sister, Joyce, means he has a little bit of a soft spot for you and looks the other way on a lot of things (which heâd deny outright if directly asked). Besides the time when you were 16 and he found you by Loverâs Lake with Tommy Laneâs hand up your shirt⌠He put the fear of god into that kid and you never saw him again.
You were an Oops! Baby, significantly younger than your sister. Joyce in her 40s, while youâre sitting at only 24 years of age. Your parents had you in their mid-40s, which means people were always surprised when you told them that your parents were pushing 70. Joyce always made it a point to form a bond with you, even with her being just about out of the house when you were born, and soon after that having Jonathan and Will. They were almost like cousins to you, or even brothers, when in reality, they were your nephews. In high school, your parents allowed you to move in with Joyce, as they couldnât really relate to you with such an age difference, and you were always with Joyce and the boys anyway. You just moved out of her house a year or so ago into your own shitty apartment near Hawkins High.
Taking one last drag and not-so-discretely tossing your roach out the window, you finally approached your bandmate, Alâs house. You met Al while working at the record shop, and when he found out that you knew how to play guitar, he almost shit himself, asking you to try out for his band immediately. Which is how you ended up playing lead guitar for The Living Daylights. You cannot imagine that Al, stoner of the universe, who almost sets his house on fire weekly by forgetting frozen pizzas in the oven, is the only one to think of that band name, but hey, itâs not like youâre Metallica. No one at The Hideout is going to give a shit.
Your car groans to a stop next to a big black van you canât recall seeing before, when it hits you: tonight is the night that Alâs friendâs band was going to jam with you guys and drink some beer. What the hell was their name? Corrupted Casket?
Lugging your guitar case out of the back seat, you swear at your car when the case gets caught between the seat and the floor. âCome, on, Betsy, you old bitch, let her GO!â you whisper-yell before it finally breaks free of Betsyâs clutches. You hope she doesnât make you pay for that comment later, as you donât have any extra cash to fix her if she breaks down out of spite.
âYelling at inanimate objects now, y/n?â You look for the source of the voice only to see Jerry, your ridiculously long-haired bassist, holding the outside door to the basement open, cigarette in hand. His blond hair was prettier than any girlâs youâd ever seen, but when you told him that, he held your guitar over his head until you took your comment back.
âSpying on unsuspecting women now, Jer?â you quip, swinging the strap to your guitar case over your shoulder and starting down the stairs.
âHad to grab my smokes,â he shakes the cigarette pack, ânot my fault youâre outside screaming loud enough to scare the birds.â
âThatâs a hyperbole if Iâve ever heard one,â you reply, stepping into the basement.
âA what?â
You roll your eyes and make your way around the washer and dryer to the dirty old rug that holds Robâs drum set and all of your amps. Next to the rug are the ratty orange couch and matching old chairs that youâve spent way too much time in over the last year, and filling them are three guys youâve never met before. You stop short, having somehow already forgotten between fighting your bitch car and the banter with Jerry, that youâd be having company. Corrupted Casket? Right?? Shit.
Al whips his dark, curly-haired head toward you, shit-eating grin on his face while ashing his joint. You internally groan in anticipation of his smart-ass remark.
âHey, look what the cat finally dragged in! Forgot that Hawkins is located in the lesser-known time zone, âWheneverTheHellY/NFeelsLikeIt!ââ he yells, smirking at his own shitty joke. Seeing each other at work and in most of your free-time, youâre used to Alâs stupid humor and banter, and actually look forward to the back and forth.
Withholding the mirth from your eyes, you deadpan, âAw, did you get lost? Nurse, heâs awake!â
Listening to the snickers and setting your guitar down, you hear a single sharp laugh from Al as he flips you off with a grin.
With your own smirk on your face, you glance over the three new faces, landing on the guy with long, wavy dark hair and huge brown eyes looking at you with a piercing gaze. You hold his stare for a beat too long, feeling like a rabbit caught in a snare, before clearing your throat and blinking away. He seems to snap out of it as well, shifting in his seat and taking a drink from his beer. Good Lord thatâs a beautiful man.
Act natural, you horny wench, you scold yourself internally. You wonder why you havenât seen him around before. It was slim-pickings in Hawkins, youâd have known if you saw a dream-boat such as this man out and around town.
You casually sit in the empty lawn chair across the coffee table from him and now the basement is suddenly sweltering.
Pushing your denim jacket down your shoulders, you blindly throw it over the couch, hearing a âjeez!â from Al who is swatting it off of his lap. Ignoring him, you decide to say, ��fuck itâ and make the first introduction before the tension in the room becomes too awkward.
âHi. Iâm the looks of the group, clearly,â you joke to the three new guys, but mostly to the hot man directly in front of you. Your bandmates roll their eyes and huff at your comment.
âUh, Iâm Gareth,â one boy says, seeming a bit nervous.
âJeff,â the other says, shaking your hand.
Letting it go, you look to the guy whose name youâre really after. If youâd have blinked youâd have missed it, but a flash of awe and uncertainty goes through his eyes at he looks at you before a confident smirk graces his lips. âEddie,â he says, shaking your hand. You guys shake hands for longer than is necessary before you remember heâs probably waiting for your name.
âY/N, which you may have gathered from Alâs shitty joke earlier.â
âWoooow,â you faintly hear Al snark in response, but youâre so far from listening to him right now; not while Eddieâs eyes are boring into yours. Heâs not used to a woman who doesnât take shit from men and can dish it out just as well as she can take it. He wonders if that applies to more than just wordplay, but swallows down those thoughts. Heâs getting way ahead of himself.
Forcing yourself to let go of his hand before you give yourself away completely, you settle back into your chair. Jerry breaks the new bout of silence by asking you if you want a beer on his way to the fridge.
âDoes a bear shit in the woods?â Rob quips, pushing his bangs away from his eyes and winking at you. You roll your eyes. If youâd have grown up with slightly older brothers, this is exactly what itâd have been like.
âYou make me sound like an alcoholic,â you say, unamused.
âHey, if the shoe fits.â
âDick!â you laugh. Cracking your beer by hitting it between your palm and the edge of the coffee table, you take a sip, seeing Eddieâs eyes flash a little. Heâs very quickly become intrigued by you. A woman whoâs funny, can kick back with the guys fully at ease, and who plays in a band? And sheâs hot? Where have you been hiding?
Relaxing for a bit, a few different conversations kick up around you. As the joint is passed your way, you take a hit, holding it in for a long beat before slowly blowing the smoke out. Eddie fidgets with his beer, then moves onto playing with the many rings adorning his fingers. You subconsciously bite your lip while watching his fingers move, unbeknownst to him. He appears nervous, like he doesnât know how to completely insert himself into this environment with new people.
Observing him slyly, you can see the moment he seems to make up his mind about something. He stops fidgeting and straightens his shoulders, getting to his feet. To your surprise he makes his way to sit in the empty folding chair next to you. Youâre trying to appear nonchalant, when all you want to do is squirm in your seat.
He clears his throat, âSo, how do you know Al then?â Fuck! He internally curses at himself. Theyâre in a band together, dumb ass. Thatâs how they know each other.
To his surprise you just smile and say, âWell, we met working at the record store together, and he needed a guitarist. I figured, hell, Iâve been meaning to do some charity work anyway,â you respond.
He lets out a surprised laugh at your quick wit. But inside youâre worried youâre coming off arrogant, which is so far from how you actually feel in this moment that itâs comical. But itâs either this humor or self-deprecating. You canât tell which is worse.
âHow about you?â you ask him, sipping your beer. At some point you crossed your legs towards him without realizing and bumped his knee with yours. He inhales sharply, but itâs so quiet that you canât tell if you imagined it.
âUhâŚâ he gets his supply of weed from Al now that Reefer Rickâs locked up again, but he doesnât want to seem like a drug dealer by saying that. Dude, you are a drug dealer, he tells himself. Oh yeah, he responds to himself. Why am I talking to myself? Fuck, maybe I am high. Shit, sheâs looking at me, how long has it been?
Not trying to hide your smirk at the fact that you can almost see literal cogs turning in his head to produce a sentence, you say, âuhâŚ?â to help him push his thought along.
âHe supplies me with weed that I, uh, sell. To others. For cash. And I smoke it. And stuff,â he blurts out.
You burst out laughing, your eyes twinkling. Youâre looking at him like you genuinely find him funny, and he quietly sighs in relief.
Somehow, the ice has been broken, and you guys settle into a surprisingly easy back and forth. He tells you that he lives in a trailer with his uncle, Wayne, a few miles from Alâs. He seems a little embarrassed, but you quickly reassure him that you only moved out a year ago, and into a crappy apartment, no less. He says that he has no siblings, and you tell him that you have an older sister.
Eddieâs eyes light up as a thought dawns on him, âwait! You work at The Screaming Owl! I go in there all the time!â he chirps excitedly, referencing the record shop.
âYou do?! How have we never seen each other?â you ask, racking your brain. You cannot imagine you missed each other.
âI go in every Saturday.â
Ah. âOkay, that makes sense. I only work weekdays,â you say.
âDo you go to school?â he asks off-handedly, not at all expecting the way youâre about to respond.
âNah, I havenât gotten around to college yet. Graduated from Hawkins High in â80 though,â you say, stubbing out your cigarette. While youâre looking down, Eddieâs eyes bug out of his head as he tries to do mental gymnastics to figure out your age. 24?! He takes a drink of his beer and looks away, trying to be casual. Thereâs no way in hell youâre going to want to be with a 20-year-old super senior in fucking high school.
Swiveling back his way, you ask, âSo what about you?â
âHuh?â he sputters, ungracefully.
You laugh. âAre you in school?â
Fuck! He swallows thickly, mind-racing, trying to figure out how heâs going to respond. âYeah-â he starts, and, thank fuck, Al interrupts with, âYo! Are we gonna jam or what?â
@sublimecatgalaxyâ @bethii1
#eddie munson x reader#eddie munson imagine#eddie munson fic#eddie munson#joyce byers#jonathan byers#will byers#stranger things#stranger things season 4#st s4
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Southpaw
pairing: jungkook x female reader (ft. a little sprinkle of namjoon)
genre: childhood friends to lovers, boxer jungkook, college/frat au
includes: swearing, angst, mentions of blood and violence, pining, smut (public/private, unprotected sex, hair pulling, jungkook is big guys, duh), alcohol, smoking weed, jungkook seems like an asshole but heâs really not, OC having a crisis every two seconds, some fluff here and there as well, also this takes place over many months just saying if time gets confusing
premise: Knowing Jeon Jungkook for the better part of your life, you thought you knew everything about him. Well, that was before you two disappeared from each otherâs lives at least. When Jungkook suddenly finds himself buying you a coffee to rekindle your friendship, it leads to much more than you bargained for.
word count: 30k (sheâs a monster sorry guys)Â
quick note: this is my first story back in a year(?) give or take some weeks!! kind of nervous to post & not sure if my writing has declined in anyway but nonetheless here is the beast that has been sitting on my computer since April 2019!! quick disclaimer I donât know much about boxing so if I get stuff wrong - I apologize!! please enjoy & let me know what you think â¤ď¸happy 7 years BTS!
recommended songs for reading: pray (JRY, RuthAnne), mushroom chocolate (6lack, quin), hallucinate (dua lipa), wus good/curious (partynextdoor)
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The evening was slowâafter all, it was only a Wednesday. You had just finished serving a table of twoâa young man and young womanâpresumably on a midweek date. You didnât recognize either of them which wasnât surprising considering the campus grossed about 20,000 people. You began to wipe down tables out of boredom, glancing at the clock every two minutes hoping it would jump to when your shift was over in forty-five minutes. Thankfully, you didnât have much work to do when you got home, but you are wishing to get in bed before 10:30 to get a full eight hours of sleep for your lectures tomorrowâsomething you had not had in about two months. Most days, like today, you were running on five hours of sleep and five cups of coffee. It wasnât healthy, you knew that much, but itâs how you had to live your life. Your schedule was too demanding to hit the snooze button multiple times. You had shit to doâand getting your degree was the top priority.
âY/N,â your coworker, Mark, called your name from behind of the counter.
âYeah?â You respond.
âWill you come help me clean this out?â He asks you and you nod diligently.
âOf course,â you say, dropping your current task of wiping already clean tables. Mark was the one student that worked here you could stand to be around. He was very much like you in the sense that school came before anythingâhe too was on a full academic scholarship. He worked here before you, but he made you feel the most comfortable out of everyone. You would consider him a close friend at this point.
The espresso machine was a pain in the ass to clean and did call for two people most of the time. Besides, you would rather smell the remnants of coffee beans than the harsh chemicals of bleach gliding across a table.
âYou have much work to do after your shift?â He asks you.
âNo, thank god,â you shake your head, âI got most of my shit done between my classes today. You?â
âI have to write a ten page paper by midnight,â he sighs, âAnd guess how many pages I have started.â
You give him a short glance, âIâm gonna take a wild guess and say zero.â
âDamn right,â he smiles. A short silence between you two ensues before he speaks again, âOh! Did I tell you Iâm graduating early?â
âWhat? Really?â You look at him and an excited grin plays on his face. âWhen?â
âYeah, I spoke to my advisor this afternoon and turns out, the classes Iâm taking this semester is all I need for my degree,â he speaks with a relieved tone.
âWow, thatâs awesome,â you say genuinely, âI wish that was me,â you give out a small chuckle.
âIâm just glad I donât have to keep stressing over this hell-hole,â he laughs, âThe sooner I get out of here, the better.â
âI feel you on that,â you say, âIâm proud of you nonetheless, youâve worked your ass off dealing with this scholarship.â
He gives you a small smile in return but itâs broken by the bell ringing from the door, signaling a new customer has decided to come in. Your eyes break from Markâs and glance over to the door, your head doing a double take.
Your mouth goes dry when you see themâmore specificallyâhim.Â
No, it wasnât the first time youâve seen him, but you couldnât remember the last time you had seen him outside of a frat party on the weekends. And truly, it was your first time getting a good look at him in awhile. You felt nervousâthough you had no reason to be nervous. You had known him since long before your days as university students, but since you werenât plastered in this scenario, looking at him seemed more like a chore than ever.
âYou want me to get their table?â Mark asks you and you look back at him.
âNo, I got it,â you say, throwing down the cleaning cloth, wiping your hands on your apron.
The small group of boys are too busy in their own conversation to see you approaching them. You clear your throat before grabbing some menus off of the podium.
âHey guys, welcome,â your voice breaks their conversation. The three men your age turn to you all at once and a small smile erupts from one of them.
âY/N? I didnât know you worked here?â Taehyungâanother person you knew all too wellâsmiles and speaks brightly
âYup,â you say simply, âJust been here a little over a month,â you explain pressing the best smile you can muster up. âCâmon, Iâll get you seated and get your order in.â
You lead them towards the back of the small restaurant, seating them in a booth. As they follow you from behind, you can feel their eyes burning into your back and you feel like screaming at the top of your lungs. They sit down and you pass out the menus.
âWhat would you guys like to drink?â You ask, putting a hand on your hip.
âIâll take a coke,â Hobiâyou remember his name easily as you see him around in a few of your classes.
âCoke as well,â Taehyung says.
âJungkook?â His name rolls off your tongue and it sounds foreign. You couldnât remember the last time you had said it, let alone to his face. His brown eyes meet yours and he clears his throat.
âIâll just take a water,â he finally speaks, his gaze breaking just as fast as it met yours.
âIâll get those right out,â a grimace spreads on your face and you turn on your heels to fulfill their drink orders. You hadnât expected the encounter to be so awkward and have so much tensionâbut what did you expect?
Your relationship with Jeon Jungkook was a strange one to say the least. You had known him longer than anyone you associated withâyou meet each other at the tender age of eight in elementary school. You remember that day so vividly.
You had been assigned a seat right beside of him the first day of school. He kept his eyes away from you. Being the energetic child you were, you were expecting him to introduce himself butâhe never did. It actually took being in school a whole week to get him to talk to you. You nudged his arm with your elbow and his eyes meet yours for the first time. You smiled at him, âI like your shirt,â to which he responded a small, âThank you.â He picked at his nails and you smiled at him again, âIâm Y/N,â though he would already know that sitting beside of you. âIâm Jungkook,â he spoke again with a shy smile. That day would change both of your livesâall thanks to you and your mouth that couldnât shut the hell up.
Four years later, at the age of twelve, Jungkook was your best friend. For four years, he was the one person you had came to all about your problemsâhe as well. The two of you would complain equally about school, he would complain about his older brother picking on him, you would complain about your younger sister bothering you nonstopâthe two of you were more alike in more ways than you could imagine. Despite getting older and more different, you and Jungkook shared the same friend group. You had met a girl named Kim Jennie during a pre-algebra class and Jungkook had met a lively kid named Kim Taehyungâno they werenât related but you often joked about it. It was nice having another close friend instead of just having Jungkookâespecially a girl. You and Jennie had more in common than you and Jungkook and Jungkook and Taehyung and more in common than you two. Butâthe four of you clicked and you spent nearly everyday with each other.
At sixteen, a lot of stuff had changed. Yes, you, Jungkook, Taehyung, and Jennie had all remained best friends, but high school was definitely not the same as middle school. You and Jennie joined the tennis team, Jungkook and Taehyung joined the soccer teamâJungkook also joining the baseball teamâwhich kept the four of you more separated than you would have liked. The four of you all sat together at lunch each day, but as each day passed, something felt different with Jungkook. And then, halfway through your second year of high school, the news broke that Jungkook had a girlfriendâa cute girl named Yunaâwho was actually older than him by a year. You felt indifferent about it. He didnât speak to you as much as he used to and he would ditch you, Jennie and Taehyung to hang out with her. It didnât bother Jennie or Taehyung as much as it bothered youâbut then againâyou had known him since you were eight and it felt weird not being Jungkookâs number one girl. You hated to say itâbut you were jealous and you had no idea why.
Two years had passed, the four of you all eighteen and fully legal now. It was the end of your last year of high school and you could not be more ready to leave. Growing up through high school together, the thought of all of you going to the same university was a dream. The four of you were excited to move on to new things. Jungkook and Yuna had broken up a few months prior, not being able to work through the distance of her being away at college. Jungkook soon started molding back to how he was beforeâtexting you throughout the day, complaining, just being Jungkookâyou were happy, happier than when he was with Yuna. It was May when you had received the news that you had been offered a full ride academic scholarship. You cried and cried tears of joyâfinally busting your ass for so long had paid off. Jungkook was so proud of you, though he didnât outwardly show it, the way he looked at you when you had told him was all you needed. Taehyung suggested itâa small celebration of sorts for youâa.k.a. the four of you getting absolutely plastered in his basement. Taehyung had managed to steal some alcohol from his parents and before the four of you knew it, beers had been downed and half a bottle of tequila had been drank. You were laying on the floor, giggling at everything Jennie did, dancing around the room with a bottle of vodka in hand. Jungkook had laid down beside of you, his eyes boring deep onto you. You crane your neck and give him a small smile, not realizing how little space was between the two of you. Jungkook supports himself on an elbow and it was then you had realized how handsome Jungkook had actually become. He spent so long away from you when he was dating Yuna, you didnât realize how much he had grown into his features. That nightâwas singlehandedly the best and worst night of your life.
You had no idea what came over you, but you stood up throwing out your hand for Jungkook to take. He grabbed it with no hesitation, him towering over you as your chests touched and it was the closest the two of you had ever been. Jungkook had looked over to Jennie and Taehyung, still drinking and acting stupid, before grabbing your hand and pulling you into the closest bathroom and shutting the door. Your heart was beating out of your chest and you grip his shirt tightly. The next few moments are a blurâJungkook kisses youâactually kisses you. He gripped your waist tightly, pushing you against the door. A small whine emitted from your lips as he pulled away and you couldnât believe this was actually happening. He kissed you again, pulling your thigh up to rest in his hand. This was wrongâso wrong in so many ways. But neither of you stopped until a bang from the other side of the door broke the steamy makeup session.
That night changed everything between you two. Neither of you talked about it ever again. Despite being so drunk to the point of blacking outâyou remember every detailâand so did he. That summer, you and Jungkook grew apart. And it was the worst thing to ever happen to you.
Now, at twenty-one, almost through university, you had interacted with Jungkook only a handful of times. You had studied together a few times your freshman year, but after your first year, you could count on your hands how many times you had seen each other. Most of the time, only seeing him at parties with other girls hanging off of him. It was painful to see. Even after 3 years of a drunken kiss in Taehyungâs bathroom, it hurt more than ever to see Jungkook with other girlsâbut at the same time you didnât care. You had moved on and so did he. You two were now strangers but your life was goodâyou didnât need him like you used to think. And he seemingly didnât either.
âY/N? Earth to Y/N?â Mark nudged you out of your obnoxiously long reverie and you jumped out of your skin. âAre you okay?â He asks.
You look down and realize that you havenât taken the three of them their drinks, the ice now watering them down to shit.
âY-yeah, Iâm just tired is all,â you begin to pour out the drinks to get new ones before Mark stops you.
âHere, Iâll handle them,â he says, âYou can go home early, itâs fine,â he smiles.
âA-are you sure?â You ask him, not wanting to leave him by himself.
âYeah, itâs about closing time anyways. Just head out, Iâll close,â he nods with a smile and you canât help but to throw you arms around him.
âJesus, thank you. I promise Iâll make it up to you one day,â you tell him pulling away. You wash your hands quickly and throw off your apron.
âGet home safe,â he says and you tell him the same before grabbing your bag. You glance one last time to the table in the back and unexpectedly, Jungkook is staring at you. It makes your breathing hitch and you turn around on your heel quickly, not wanting to linger on his gaze longer than you need to.
_____
The weekend comes slower than you would like, but itâs Friday which means one thingâtime to go out and get a much needed dose of social life. You and Jennie had found yourself at the Beta Tau Sigma crush party at their fraternity house that evening.
âHere you go, mâlady,â Namjoon comes into your peripheral vision, handing you a drink he specially made just for you.
âThanks,â you give him a small smile. You take a huge gulp without hesitationâyou trusted Namjoon with your life. Not only was he on academic scholarship too, he was also the president of this fraternity which meant if he didnât act straightâhe would face serious consequences. The mix of brains, being ridiculously handsome, and being in a fraternity was a recipe for disasterâhe was your typeâbonafide. You were his type too which is maybe why the two of you clicked so well, particularly in bed.
âMy feet are fucking killing me,â you groan glancing down at your heels, rolling your eyes in the back of your head. Namjoon throws an arm over your shoulder, pulling you closer to him.
âAt least you look hot as fuck,â he lips brush against your ear and you give him a glare.
âIsnât hot kind of a degrading term in todayâs world?â You press.
He narrows his eyes at you, âFineâyou look beautiful, cute, sexyâis that better?â
âMuch better,â you nod playfully and Namjoon gets boldâpulling you even closer to him for a small peck on your lips. Eyes linger on the two of you but you couldnât care. So many girls would love to be in your position and you feel lucky to have captivated Namjoon at least for now. Besides, he was good at fucking and you needed stress relief, as did he.
Unsuspecting, Jungkook waltzed his way into the room and he immediately stops when he sees the sight of you and his older brother Namjoon. He had heard rumors about the two of you, which he brushed offâyou would never go after someone like Namjoonâoh who is he kidding? You and Namjoon are the same person and it kills Jungkook inwardly. The way Namjoon is nuzzled into your neck and the way you're smiling, giggling to every word he says, makes him feel uncomfortable. You looked so different at parties than how he saw you a few days ago at your work. Your legs looked sexy as fuck in your short black dress, your hair flowed down beautifully as opposed to being thrown up, the way red lipstick painted your mouth made him semi hard. Jesus, how after all this time, does he still think about you like this?
Your eyes break away from Namjoon and your smile falls when they meet a familiar set of doe eyes from across the room. Your breath hitches and Jungkook looks so handsome you want to die. His dark hair is slightly parted, his button up is undone at the top, and his legs fulfill his pants better than any guy here. He downs two shots, not breaking his gaze from you. You feel intimidated by his gaze and presence, despite having seen him at these things multiple times. The only difference is that nowâheâs giving you some attention that you werenât ready for.
Your gaze breaks away from each other when a group of loud boysâincluding Taehyung as well as Kai, another brother within the fraternityâcome rushing into the room, hauling a keg in tow.
âHyung! Come on,â Taehyung teases drunkenly as they set down the keg. There are many hyungâs for Taehyung in the room to not have specified which one he was talking about, until he deadpans on Namjoon. âNamjoon-hyung, come on!â
Namjoon begins to shake his head in protest, âIâd rather not,â he puts his hands up, keeping his distance from Taehyung, âGotta keep an eye on this one tonight,â he nudges you and Taehyungâs eyes widen when her realizes itâs actually you, standing beside of his older brother.
âY/N! Hey! Whatâs up! Didnât expect to see you here, especially with this one again,â he narrows his eyes to Namjoon.
âHi Taehyung,â you give him a small smile.
âDo a keg stand with me?â His eyes bulge out like a puppy dog and your own widens in shock at the question.
âOh no,â you protest, looking up at Namjoon, âLast time I did a keg stand was freshman year and I said never again,â you explain to him. He gives you a pout.
âFuck,â Taehyung says, âWell who is gonna do this shit with me then?â He sounds impatient and frustrated.
âGet Jungkook tooâheâs been looking over in this direction for too long, give âem something to do,â Namjoon says and you look up at him. Did he notice Jungkook looking at you? Shit.
âHell yeah, that little shit will definitely do it,â Taheyung smirks and yells for Jungkook to come over. Jungkook is preoccupied with a girl before Taehyung breaks his mojo from across the room. Jungkook sees Taehyung and you standing together and he furrows his eyebrows. He excuses himself from his pussy date for the night and saunters his way over towards your direction. You keep your eyes anywhere but Jungkook as he approaches you.
âHey hyung,â Jungkook greets Namjoon, âY/N,â he says slowly and you tense up. âWhat do you want Taehyung?â He spits out. Heâs clearly buzzed as the attitude coming off of his tongue is stronger than usual.
âDo this fucking keg stand with me pussy,â Taehyung presses and Jungkook scrunches his nose.
âFuck no,â Jungkook responds and Taehyung rolls his eyes.
âCome onnnn,â he drags out, begging his life long best friend to do it.
âAbsolutely not, Iâve done it once and I said never again,â Jungkook says and your eyes nearly pop out of your head. Taehyung looks at you and Jungkook and shakes his head.
âI swear you two are the same person in a different body, itâs weird,â Taehyung says, âYour loss,â and Taehyung is soon leaving your side to find someone else to do his proposition.
Jungkook is left standing in front of you and Namjoon in an awkward silence.
âDonât forget, youâre on clean up duty Jeon,â Namjoon raises an eyebrow at the younger man.
Jungkook groans, âFine, whatever hyung,â his words run together as he gives you a final glance, âSee you later Y/N,â is the last thing he says before he walks away to find the girl he was smooching up prior.
Namjoon gives you a weird look before you are furrowing eyebrows at him, âWhat?â You ask.
âWhatâs up with you two?â He asks motioning over to Jungkook.
âWhat do you mean?â You gulp down your drink hoping to hide the nervousness in your tone.
âDidnât you two use to be like, best friends or some shit?â He asks.
You shrug your shoulders, âYeah, when we were kids,â you chuckle.
Namjoon doesnât seemed convinced, âI remember you two hanging out a lot during Jungkook's freshman year here, what happened?â
You shrug once again, âPeople grow apart,â you answer simply, not wanting to go in detail how one kiss basically ruined whatever your friendship was with him. Namjoon suddenly smiles, a dimple showing in his left cheek.
âYou know he talks about how hot you are? Not all of the time, but Iâve heard it before,â he laughs and you freeze in your spot.
âWhat are you trying to prove by interrogating me Joon?â You say with some attitude. That was the least thing you expected to come out of his mouth.
âHey, Iâm just asking questions!â He defends himself, âI just didnât know if something happened between you twoâlike you dated or something and shit got weird, I donât know⌠just curious,â he chuckles a bit.
You eyes widen and you feel yourself getting warm, âOh no, we never dated orâŚanything like thatâŚâ you trail off. âWeâve just grown apart, weâre too different now.â
Namjoon raises an eyebrow at you, âAccording to Taehyung you two are the same person.â
You glare at him, âGet me another drink,â you shove your cup into his hand and see laughs at you before sauntering away for a few seconds. He comes back with a full glass and you down half of it in a few seconds.
âEw,â you scrunch up your nose. Nice, you think to yourself.
âMaybe you should talk to him? Iâm sure having an old friend is nice every once in awhile,â Namjoon continues, clearly interested in your history with Jungkook.
âI have Jennie,â you answer, âBesides, conversation goes both ways. If he really wanted to be friends again, he could talk to me.â You knew that answer was stupid. Jungkook didnât even speak to you when you were younger. You were the one that initiated the friendship, not him, and you knew that.
âWhatever you say space cowboy,â Namjoon draws out and you give him a glare.
âDid you just quote Kacey Musgraves?â You ask with a small smile on your face.
âFuck yeah I did,â he smirks, âSheâs a gay icon are you kidding me, Iâm obsessed with her.â
âJoonie, youâre not even gay,â you laugh.
âSo? I love anyone who supports gay rights! Donât discriminate my quotes!â He defends himself and you cannot help but laugh at him.
âLetâs go dance,â you grab his hand and pull him out of the kitchen onto the main dance floor. Namjoon was perhaps one of the more attractive people youâve met here in your four years. He oozed sex appeal and charisma, which is why anytime he wanted to hang out or take you to a partyâyou obliged. If it meant getting in his bed at the end of the night, wearing the heels was worth it.
Namjoon puts his hands on your waist and the two of you dance to music in the crowded dance floor. Namjoon grabs a bottle of liquor from one of his other brothers who you have never met before and the two of you share a nice gulp of the cheapâbut very strongâvodka.
You havenât had too much to drink but you know if you drink anymore, you will not make it back to your apartment. You push the bottle away from you and turn to face Namjoon. His brown eyes stare into yours with a glassy, tipsy appearance, and he smirks at you.
âWhat?â You question him as his grip gets tighter on you.
âI wasnât lying when I said you looked hot,â he says smoothly and you roll your eyes yet again.
âHow sweet,â you grumble, biting down on your bottom lip. Without a warning, he leans in and pecks your lips gently. The alcohol in your veins surges through you as you lean back in and close the gap. Even in your heels, you still have to crane your neck some to fully reach his stature. His hands grip your waist tightly and you tug at his light brown locks, pulling him impossibly closer to you.
He presses himself into you a little bit harder and you can tell he wants you, his hands gripping one at your waist and the other one in your hair. Everything around you goes blank was it only feels like the two of you in the room together. Unfortunately, your moment is ruined when someone bumps into the two of you, knocking you apart. Namjoon steadies you and he glares at the two girls that ran into you.
âYou want to get out of here?â Namjoon says into your ear, his breath fanning over your neck sending chills down you body.
âYeah,â you nod a little too excitedly and he grabs your hand pulling you away from everyone. Namjoon is taking you up the stairs before someone calls out your name.
âY/N!â You turn around in Namjoonâs grip to find Jennie holding onto the railing of the stairs, swaying back and forth drunkenly.
âOh god,â you mutter.
âIs she okay?â Namjoon asks as he follows behind you back down the stairs. No, in fact, she looks terrible.
âJennie, whatâs up? I thought you were with Suzy?â You ask her and her face scowls.
âI was, but then⌠he showed up,â Jennie says, knowing exactly who she is talking about, âAnd he brought another girl with him! Y/N, whatâs wrong with me? Am I not good enough for him?â Jennie is rambling as tears began to flow down her face. You look at Namjoon as he assesses the situation.
âI-I can get an Uber for her, if youâd like?â Namjoon offers and you nod.
âPlease?â You beg and Namjoon grabs your hand squeezing it reassuringly before walking away to get the car.
âJennie, come on, snap out of it,â you tell her and she continues to sob in your arms.
âY/N, I donât get it, I love him and he says he loves me but he does this shit all of the time,â she rambles.
âI know, I know,â you try to calm her down, âJennie your drunk right now, but youâre so much better than him. I know you donât realize it, but you areââ
âHe makes me feel like shit,â Jennie sighs and you cradle your friend. Unfortunately, Jennie doesnât have the best taste in men and she finds herself stuck in toxic situations she canât get out of. You wish you could help more then you do but when Jennie is drunk, itâs hard to get anything through to her.
âCome on, letâs go to the bathroom,â you pull her up before she starts fighting you.
âI donât need to use the bathroom though,â she pouts.
âWell, you might, letâs go,â you manage to hold her up and get to a bathroom in a hallway that isnât too crowded. You reach for the handle only to be disappointed that itâs locked. Great.
You beat on the door with your free hand, âHurry up in there! I have a crisis hanging off of my arm!â
âHey, donât call me that you bitch,â Jennie frowns and you roll your eyes, knowing she wonât remember any of this in the morning. You beat on the door again and again and again and finally, someone unlocks it and opens it fully.
The sight makes your eyes widen and your body heat up on fire. In front of you stands Jungkook against the counter zipping up his pants and the girl he was with earlier standing from her knees, wiping her mouth with a smirk. She leaves the bathroom, leaving you standing there with Jennie alone. When his eyes meet yours, his face goes ghostly pale. His mouth parts open and he feels like crawling into a hole to die.
âY/N, Jennie?â Is all that comes from his mouth.
âMove Jungkook,â you say sternly and he moves to make room for you two in the bathroom.
âUh, do you need anyââ
âLeave Jungkook, I donât need any help,â you say frustrated at the sight you just witnessed. You donât know why you felt angry at him. You knew that he slept around like most fraternity boysâbut to see him after getting sucked off in a bathroomâwas new territory. Not only did it bring up the memory of you and him back in Taehyungâs bathroom all those years ago, it made you physically sick to know that you were just a pawn for him then. Who are you trying to kid? You were nothing to him. Once he figured out what his dick was used for, thatâs all he cared about. Christ, you say to yourself, fuck him.
Jungkook leaves the two of you alone and within seconds, Jennie is over the toilet hurling her entire stomach up. You hold her hair back as she heaves into the toilet, trying not to gag yourself.
âY/N,â she mumbles, âI donât feel good.â
âI know, just keep it in the toilet please,â you say looking away at the sight.
Thankfully, Namjoon appears at the door. âThe Uber is here,â he announces.
âCome on, weâre going to get you home,â you tell her, wiping her mouth with some toilet paper.
âHome?â She asks, âThank god.â
Namjoon grabs her other side as the two of you carry her outside into the fresh air. You have to admit, the fresh air as sobered you up slightly. You spot the car waiting up front and Namjoon opens the door for Jennie.
âThank you so much,â you tell Namjoon as he helps Jennie into the car.
âItâs seriously not a problem,â he smiles, âYou should go with her,â he suggests and you feel your heart drop.
âA-are you sure?â You ask, subtle disappointment in your tone.
âYeah, itâs fineâweâll pick up another time,â he gives you a wink and you smile back.
âOkay, thanks again.â
You load into the back of the Uber with Jennie and you just pray that she doesnât hurl in the car, for the sake of you and the Uber driverâs car. You were not about to pay the $200 fee for puke in the backseat.Â
_____
The next morning comes all too quickly in your deep sleep. When you wake up, you are not expecting Jennie to be in your bed with you. You had nearly forgotten she refused to sleep in her own bed last night, therefore you having to give in to her wishes of sleeping with you. Thankfully, you donât feel like you have too bad of a hangover. For Jennie though, you know she will probably be in bed all day with a bottle of Tylenol at her bedside.
You check your phone and your eyes nearly burst from your head. Itâs 1:07 PM.
âFuck,â you groan to yourself. You did not need to sleep this late considering you absolutely needed to study for your exams on Monday. Not only was it an examâit was your midterm exams in your human sciences and financial analytics classes, two classes that were kicking your ass. The longer you laid in your bed, meant the longer you were losing time to cram in your studying. You swig the sheets and blankets off of you to find yourself still in your party dress from last night. You grab a pair of leggings and a sweatshirt from your wardrobe before heading to the bathroom.
Your appearance makes you shudder when you seeing yourself in the mirror. You didnât even take off your makeup, mascara and lipstick stains spread out on your face. Now it was time to really pray that you wouldnât breakout from the old layer of foundation on your face. You grab a makeup wipe to get the gunk off of yourself before you step into an insanely hot shower.
You manage to shower quickly, scrubbing your body and face off of any stench left of you from last night. You step out, moisturizing each crevice that you can reach before you throw on your clothes. You feel 200% better now that you have showered and you can hear footsteps coming down from the hallway. Jennie appears at the bathroom door rubbing her eyes harshly.
âGood morning sleepyhead,â you comment and she stretches out her limbs, her dress hiked up far up her legs where her underwear is showing.
âUgh!â She groans loudly, âMy head is pounding. What the fuck happened last night?â
âThereâs some medicine out in the kitchen,â you say as you follow her out into your living room and kitchen area. She goes immediately to the medicine cabinet and downs two pills with ease.
âWhere are you going?â She asks as you began to gather up your school work into your book-bag.
âI have to study,â you tell her and she closes her eyes again, the sun being too harsh for the light.
âItâs Saturday Y/N,â she says obviously.
âI know,â you zip up your bag, throwing it over your shoulder, âBut I have two midterms MondayâI canât make below a B or I can get in trouble with the dean,â you explain and she nods, her sleepy gaze staring at you.
âWell, have fun. Iâll be hereâdying,â she grins and you salute her off, leaving your shared apartment to go to the campus library.
The library is only about a ten minute walk and thankfully, not many students are flocking to the location on a Saturday afternoon. You assume that everyone is either hungover like Jennie or just donât give a shit enough to come out and study.
You grab a coffee from the small coffee shop outside the library before you go in, sit down, and get to work on your studying. You turn on your classical music radio as you take out out your printed slides, notes, and textbooks. As strange as it is to say, as much as you hated studyingâitâs where you felt the most comfortable. You knew you were smart and you knew school was your strongest traitâeveryone knew that about you.
You go through each chapter of your human sciences class, writing and rewriting notes on new sheets of a paper. You make flashcards as you go along. You answer the obnoxiously long quiz questions at the end of your textbook as you go along.Â
Thankfully, you havenât had any distractions and before you know it, itâs been nearly two hours since you first sat down. Your coffee is now cold but you donât care as you need the caffeine to keep you going. You are about to pull out all of your analytics material before suddenly, a coffee cup in placed on the table in front of you. You look at the source and look back down until you look up again.Â
âJungkook?â You ask pulling out one of your earbuds. His face is tired, the bags underneath his eyes prominent. Heâs wearing a gray tracksuit, his hair messy underneath his somewhat contained beanie.
âH-hi,â he says simply, âCan I sit?â He asks referring to the chair across from you. You nod as he slings his backpack off and into the floor as he plops down in the chair.
âHi,â you speak lowly. Thereâs tension between the two of you. Itâs uncomfortable. You hate it, almost as much as you hate the sight you saw last night. âWhatâs up?â The question is simple, but forced.
He shrugs, âI dragged myself out to study despite my busting headache,â he says scratching the back of his neck.
âJungkook in the library? To study? Did I hear that right?â You ask and he laughs slightly.
âYup, unfortunately you did,â he answers before letting out a sigh. âI uh, got you this,â he slides the coffee cup over to you and you furrow your brows. You face heats up. Why would he buy you a coffee? The time Jungkook bought you something was a card and flowers the evening of your high school graduation, why the hell would he buy you a coffee?
âThanks,â you laugh awkwardly grabbing the cup from him. You take a sip from the cup and realize itâs exactly how you like it. Three creams, an espresso shot, and a dash of vanilla flavoring. âHowâd you know this is what I like?â You ask.
âUh, you told me a few years back,â he says shy, his gaze ripping away from you. âI assumed it was the same, thank god,â he laughs trying to lighten up the mood.
âThanks,â you repeat, unsure of what to say.
âUh, howâs Jennie this morning?â He asks you with a genuine concern. You look from him, not being able to hold his gaze without burning up.
âSheâs fine,â you say, keeping your eyes on your notes and hands in front of you.
âThatâs good,â he says awkwardly. His leg is bouncing uncontrollably underneath the table and he feels like he needs to throw up.
âWhy did you buy me this?â You ask him. He wants something, you can feel it.
âUm, no reason, I-I just saw you h-here and I know how much you love coffee,â he stumbles over his words and you meet his gaze again, before giving him a glare.
âHm,â you mumble.
âListen Y/N,â he starts, sounding more clear of his words, âI know we donât really have a relationship anymore but, I-I just wanted to apologize to you about⌠the bathroom⌠last night,â he sighs and he hangs his head down for a second.
Your expression is blank and you shrug your shoulders with a small head shake, âDonât worry about it.â
He nods slowly before a silence falls between you two.
âListen, um I really have to get back to studying for my midterm tomorrow. Thank you again for the coffee,â you say with a small smile, trying your best to be cordial with him.
He nods getting ready to stand up but he stops abruptly, âWhat are you doing this week?â
The question catches you off guard.
âOh, um,â your mouth is dry and itâs hard to find the words, âProbably studying, working, I donât know,â you shrug again.
âWell uh, I was wondering if you wanted to meet up?â He bits his lip nervously, âWe havenât hung out in awhile, I thought maybe we could catch up?â
Awhile would be an understatement. The boy and you exchange another glance before you begin to nod hesitantly.
âSure,â you answer simply.
âCool,â he responds, âYou still have the same number?â He asks. The question is weird. How is it that your best friend of so many years has to ask if your number is the same?
âYeah,â you nod. He nods too, saying a quick goodbye before you watch as his built frame disappears into another corridor of the library, your eyes lingering a little too long on his built frame. What the hell was that?
_____
On Monday, both of your exams go a lot better than you were expecting them to. Your human sciences exam had already been graded and you made a 94 which in turn meant you were over the moon. Now you could only hope for that in analytics.
You know sat across from Jennie at one of your campusâs sandwich shops eating a late lunch.
âI donât even know why you stress so much about your grades Y/N,â Jennie says, âYou always end up with an A.â
âJennie, I worry because if I donât get Aâs I can get kicked out of the honors program, you know this,â you say with pointed eyes, âBesides, I made a B in that business statistics class I had my freshman year, Iâm still pissed about that!â
âBoohoo, I got a C minus in that class,â Jennie rolls her eyes, âAll Iâm saying is, you just need to loosen up. I know school is stressful but I know that you have to be going crazy.â
âI am going crazy Jennie,â you whine, âIâm just glad we donât have much longer,â you sigh heavily.
âYou and me both,â she adds, âIâm sorry I interrupted your stress relief the other night,â she says.
âWhat?â
She laughs, âYou almost got dicked down by Namjoon and I ruined it,â she pouts and you giggle at her.
âItâs fine,â you shake your head, âHe said we could pick it up another time.â
âGood, his fine piece of ass is something you gotta keep,â she smirks. Suddenly, your phone makes a ding on the table and you grab it quickly. Your eyes widen slightly when you see the text message.
[3:32 PM Jeon Jungkook] hey do you still want to do something this week?
âWho is that?â Jennie asks you.
âUh, nobody,â you shake your head putting the phone back down.
âIt most definitely is not nobodyâyour eyes are huge,â she points out. Dammit.
âUm,â you start, âWell last week at work, Jungkook, Taehyung, and their friend Hobi came in later at night,â you tell her, âAnd it was awkward and then I saw Jungkook at the party on Saturday.â
âWe see him all the time at the parties we go,â she shrugs.
âI know, but then he came up to me in the library the other dayâŚand bought me a coffee,â you finish.
Jennieâs eyes widen. âWhat?â
âI know right,â you say.
âWonder what he wants from you?â She purses her lips.
âHe asked if he wanted to go out this week,â you shrug, âHe said we havenât in awhile and he wanted to âcatch upâ,â you say.
Jennieâs eyebrows furrow. âHm,â she mumbles, âWell are you going to?â
âI donât know,â you tell her honestly, âI think Iâve seen enough of him to last me awhile.â
Jennie grimaces at you, âCome on Y/N,â she says, âYou and Jungkook used to be inseparable, I donât even know what the fuck happened to you two.â
âWe just grew apart Jennie,â you tell her.
âFriendships like you and Jungkook donât just âgrow apartâ,â she uses air quotes.
âBelieve what you want,â you mutter, picking at your food suddenly not feeling too hungry.
âWhy wouldnât you go? Thereâs nothing stopping you is there?â She presses.
âNot exactly, but⌠I donât know if itâs a good idea,â you mumble.
âY/N, heâs your oldest friend,â she says, âYouâve known him longer than anyone else here, I know that you miss him as your friend,â she goes on.
âI donât know Jennie, weâre not the same people we used to be. Weâre not compatible as friends anymore, itâs weird.â
âHow can it already be weirder than it is now? Itâs weird as fuck that you two grew up together and donât speak to each other anymore. Iâd say go, just hangout, who knows what might happen,â she reasons and you cannot help but agree with her.
You donât say anything else as you pull your phone back out.
[3:38 PM Me] Yeah Iâm free tonight if you want to do something!
_____
Jungkook picks you up at seven on the dot. You feel nervousness settling in your stomach and you suddenly care about your appearance. When you open the door of your apartment and welcome him in, you have to tell yourself to keep your mouth closed.
Heâs dressed in a sweatshirt and ripped jeans but he looksâŚso good? You hope you arenât overdressed in your dress and denim jacket and he smiles when he meets your gaze.
âHey,â he greets you and you welcome him into your apartmentâa place he has never been.
âHi,â you say grabbing your keys from the kitchen. âJennie!â You shout and she emerges from the laundry room
âYeah?â She stops dead in her tracks when she sees Jungkook. âOh, hey Jungkook.â
âHi,â he smiles.
âIâll be back later,â you tell her, âWhat are you doing tonight?â
âI have to write a report and I guess Iâm going to do your laundry since youâre lazier than shit,â she presses. You throw up your middle finger and turn to Jungkook.
âYou ready?â
âYeah, letâs go.â
_____
âWhere are we going?â You ask him as you make your way outside, keeping a relative distance between you and him.
âYou hungry?â Jungkook proposes, almost with a playful tone.
âMhm,â you mumble, looking down at the ground as you walk. This was weird⌠so fucking weird. The last time you and Jungkook had hung out was around two and a half years agoânot even shitting. You wonder if he still liked the same things, had the same hobbies, ate the same food, but you were completely unsure of yourself in this circumstance. The nervousness hasnât settled in your stomach and your mind wonders if heâs nervous too.
âAlright, câmon,â he says and you meet his gaze before he changes direction with you in tow.
Itâs not even a five minute walkâmind you, in silenceâuntil we reach the place Jungkook had led you to.
âReally Jungkook?â You raise an eyebrow at him as you step into your all too familiar work place.
âWhat?â He laughs, âThe food is good,â he continues.
âIâm starting to think you brought me here for my employee discount,â you press to him and he tilts his head.
âYou have an employee discount?â He repeats, âGood to know,â he chuckles and in turn, you return a small laugh, feeling a little more comfortable.
Mark isnât working tonight, but unfortunately, a girl named Kyla is and you absolutely despise her. Her biggest personality trait is just being a bitchâa bitch for no reason! Sure, you can have your bitchy moments but youâre not going to be a bitch to someone unless they deserve it.
âY/N⌠Jungkook,â Kyla says slowly, looking between the two of you. âJust sit wherever you like,â she says. The restaurant is free real estate as you two are the only ones here.
You choose a booth, sliding in on one side, Jungkook on the other.
âDo you know her?â You ask Jungkook once she walks away from your table.
Jungkook looks pale, âIâve met her, once or twice,â he says and itâs all the confirmation you need to understand that means heâs fucked her once or twice.
You donât say anything else as you look through the menu, already knowing exactly what you want.
âWhen did you start working here?â Jungkook asks you.
âOh, about a month ago,â you say. He already knows that. I guess you and Jungkook are really too that point, huh? Small, dull, repetitive conversation?
âHow did your exams go?â He asks, chewing on his bottom lip. Heâs nervousâyou can sense it.
âBetter than I thought,â you answer honestly.
âHm, let me guessâyou thought you did terrible but ended up getting an A,â he reads you perfectly.
âHey! I donât think like that,â you say even thought you know that is a fat lie.
âCome on Y/N, youâve been that way since we were fourteen. Lying sends you to hell you know,â he raises an eyebrow at you and you look away from him to suppress your laugh.
âFine. I got a 94 on one of them, I donât know about the other one yet,â you tell him.
âSee, youâre a genius,â he says and you shake your head.
âMost definitely not,â you say.
âI was always so envious of you growing up, you just sat there in school and you just⌠got it,â he says remembering back to your younger days, âAll of us were jealous of you,â he adds.
âI can guarantee nobody was jealous of me Jungkook,â you give him a grimace, âWe all were stupid in our own ways, maybe you more than anyone else,â you decide to pick on him since youâre feeling more relaxed as the conversation keeps going.
âHey, no need to shit on me like that,â he gives you a pout.
Your phone suddenly vibrates against the table. Itâs probably Jennie, you think to yourself as you flip the phone over. To your surprise, itâs not JennieâItâs Namjoon.
[7:28 PM Kim Namjoon] hope you had a good day
[7:29 PM Kim Namjoon] mine would be a lot better if you were sitting on my cock right now
Your eyes widen and you flip the phone back over with a slam to the table. Jungkook looks at you curiously.
âWhose that?â He asks.
You want to lie, but Jungkook can tell when youâre lying. âJust Namjoon,â you tell him, âHe was asking about some homework.â
Jungkook nods slowly before chewing on his bottom lip again, âYou and hyung are good friends?â
Your face drops and you donât say anything.
âIâm just asking since Iâve seen you guys together at our parties,â he adds while clearing his throat.
âYeah, weâre friends,â is all that comes from your mouth. Jungkookâs eyes are hard to read but you can tell he knows youâre not saying what youâre actually thinking. What he wants you to do is be honest with him and tell him that yeah, you and Namjoon fuck from time to time, but of course, he doesnât get that answer.
About twenty minutes later, Kyla is bringing your food.Your stomach growls as the scent of the food comes into your nostrils. The two of you begin eating, keeping some small talk between the two of you.
âAre you still a business major?â You ask him as you chow down on your French fries loaded with ketchup.
Jungkook scrunches his face up, âHell no,â he shakes his head.
You stop your chewing momentarily, âOh,â is all you can muster. âIâm sure that went over well with your father.â
Jungkook gives you a short glance, a smirk across his face, âIt went as well as you can imagine.â
Growing up, Jungkook was expected to go to college, get a business degree of some kind and him and his older brother were to takeover his fatherâs company by the time he was 30âyou would know, Jungkook would secretly complain to you about nonstop as teenagers.
âWhat are majoring in now?â
âPhotography and film,â he answers boldly.
âOh, wow,â you tell him, âThatâs a big move.â
âIâd rather die than being forced to do something I donât want to do, thatâs no way to live life,â he munches on his burger, his eyes looking straight into yours.
âHowâs Taehyung?â You ask him.
âHeâs good,â he laughs a little bit, âWould you believe it if I told you he has a girlfriend?â He cocks his head slightly.
âTaehyung? And a girlfriend?â You say in disbelief. âYouâre kidding, right?â
âNope,â he chuckles, âItâs weird though, he wonât introduce me to her, hell he wonât even tell me her name.â
You furrow your eyebrows, âThat is weird,â you pause, âMaybe he thinks youâll steal her,â you smirk jokingly.Â
Jungkook shakes his head, âTaehyungâs got more game than I do, trust me,â he says with a laugh.Â
âIâm assuming you donât have a girlfriend?â You ask him nervously, biting down on your bottom lip.
Jungkook stops eating and rolls his tongue on the inside of his cheek, âNo, I havenât dated anyone since Yuna really.â
The confession surprises you and you somewhat donât believe him.
âWhy not?â You press.
He shrugs, âJust havenât found anyone I like I guess, like, really like, you know?â
You nod understandingly. Before Namjoon (whom you arenât even dating) you had dated this guy for awhile and he was nice but you were bored as fuck in that relationship. Thankfully, you moved on from that onto better things.
Once the two of you finish your meals, Jungkook pays before you can protest and you leave the restaurant around 8:30 PM. You shove your hands into your jacket and walk along beside of Jungkook, lazily kicking rocks when you come across them.
âSo, what did I do to deserve a free meal and a coffee from Jeon Jungkook in the span of two days?â You look up at him and he glances down to you quickly.
âI said I wanted to catch up, how else was I supposed to do that?â He smirks and you hit his arm playfully.
You donât say anything so he continues.
âI donât know, itâs just when I saw you last week working, I hadnât seen you in so long⌠let alone speak to you,â he pauses, âIt made me realize that I miss our friendship, I missed usâŚâ he trails off, looking straight ahead.
âWhy didnât you reach out sooner?â You ask him seriously.
Jungkook hesitates some, âYou could have reached out too, the phone works both waysâ his words are unexpected, harsh. And they somewhat hurt.
You donât say anything again, feeling a sting in your chest.
âI didnât mean it like that Y/N,â Jungkook say, stopping his path to stand in front of you, âItâs just⌠we havenât spoken in so long. I feel like youâre a completely different person ever since we got here to university. I donât know what happenedââ
âYou donât know what happened?â Your tone is sharp. âAre you stupid Jungkook?â
He looks taken aback, âW-what?â
âWhen we were eighteen and you fucking kissed me thatâs what happened and thatâs when shit changed Jungkook, donât act like you donât know,â you sound angry to which, you are. Talking about this gets you riled up.
Jungkook lowers his head, âWe should have talked about that, I know butââ
âBut what Jungkook? It ruined our friendship and you know it.â
âI ruined it?â He now sounds pissed off. âWhat ruined our friendship was you acting like I didnât exist once we got here to college. You blew me off and blew me off time and time again,â he runs a hand through his hair, âI tried to maintain this friendship and you know it. If that stupid, fucking, drunken kiss bothered you that bad, you should have been a big girl and told me.â
You feel frustrated and you feel tears are threatening to spill out of you. You want to comeback with something, but you know heâs right. He did try and you were the one to put distance between you both.
âI-I,â you start but no words come out. âIâm sorry Jungkook. Itâs just when we got here, things got more complicated and more stressful, and I couldnât afford distractionsââ
âSo Iâm a distraction now?â
âWhat? No, no, I didnât mean it like that,â you shake your head in protest.
âSo, hanging out at fraternity houses every weekend, getting hammered with Jennie every weekend, smoking pot once in awhile, and fucking Namjoon isnât a distraction? But your best friend of fourteen years is a distraction?â Jungkookâs words come out in a frenzy and you feel slightly attacked.
âExcuse me what? Jungkook noââ you stop yourself from speaking. You know heâs right but that doesnât give him a right to attack you like that. âSo, whatâs your excuse then for not being the bigger person than, huh? Getting sucked off too many times in a bathroom and you realized you donât need my attention anymore? Huh?â
Jungkookâs eyes darken and you can tell heâs pissed off.
âAre you fucking kidding me?â He asks you.
âJungkook, youâre my oldest friendââ
âYou donât treat me like itââ
âWell neither do you,â you back go back and forth with each other. Youâre frustrated. Angry. Sad.
Jungkook is fighting a battle in his head. âIâm sorry okay,â he says, âI think we both can admit weâve acted shitty to each other.â
You look away from him staring aimlessly at your lap, âIâm sorry too, I shouldnât have said that.â
âNeither should have I,â he says. âI just wish you had told me about that stupid kiss, we could have talked through it Y/N. I wasnât thinking back then.â
âWhy did you kiss me?â
Jungkookâs eyes look panicked and he scratches the back of his neck.
âI had a stupid little crush on you at the time okay? And alcohol doesnât help, it only intensified my feelings.â
âWhat?â Your mouth drops agape at the confession.
âI know, stupid right,â he shakes his head, âFuck I wished we had discussed this sooner because this is so embarrassing,â he laughs while shaking his head.
Youâre in disbelief. Jungkook liked you? How did you not know? It makes your insides tingle at the thought, but you know you shouldnât get excited so you drown out the feeling deep within you.Â
âWell, that was years ago,â you tell him, âAll we can do now is look ahead,â your breath is uneven and shaky.
âYouâre right,â he mutters, âI really am sorry Y/N, I-I just want you as a friend againââ
âI forgive you Jungkook. And Iâm sorry too.â
What Jungkook does next is unexpected but all too familiar. He grabs your chin and squeezes it in his hand. You swat him away with a laugh as he pulls you in by an arm. You oblige his movements and rest your head on his shoulder as the two of you keep walking. Thereâs something oddly intimate about this gesture. And the whole atmosphere has changed but you like itâit feels⌠like home.
âCan I ask you something?â You mumble.
âYou just did,â he laughs and his chest rumbles underneath you.
âShut the fuck up,â you lean up from him with a smile, âNamjoon said you talk about me a lotâŚ?â You trail off your question. You could be sneaky if you really wanted to be.
âHe did?â Jungkook panics. Fucking Namjoon, he thinks to himself. âW-what did he say?â He stumbles on his words.
âJust stuff,â you respond hesitantly, âHe may or may not have said that you called me hot.â Jungkook freezes beside of you.
âFucking hell, Iâm gonna kill hyung,â he mutters underneath his breath, âLook Iâm sorry okayâI was really drunk and I saw you at one of our parties in this short ass dress and fuck, yeah I said you were hotâIâm sorry okay? I know thatâs so fucking weird jeez, Iâm sorryââ
âJungkook itâs fine,â you laugh interrupting his rambling. âItâs not weird, I just wanted to know whether or not Namjoon was feeding me shit.â
âYou donât think itâs weird?â He asks and you can sense that he is very embarrassed. âI told you, Iâm not good with my alcohol.â
You shake your head, âI mean, youâre pretty hot too if I say so myself,â the words tumble from your mouth and you actually want to crawl in a hole and die. Did you just say that?! Jungkook looks at you as you turn your face away from him. Fuck, he thinks to himself. He glances down your body and notices the cleavage coming through your dress and the way you hair is pulled to one side. Fuck, he thinks again, yeah, stupid little crush three years ago my ass.
âCan I tell you something?â His voice his quiet, serious.
âOf course,â you look up at him with a concern face.
âYou canât tell anyoneânot even Jennie,â he says, his voice low. You give him a confused look, but nod anyways.
âWhatâs wrong?â You ask him. He bits at his lip, feeling uneasy.
He takes in a deep breath before exhaling, âWhen I changed my major a few months back, my parents threatened to cut me offââ
âWhoa, what?â
âAnd theyâre still threatening to if I donât get my shit straight.â
âJungkook, I donât get what youâre saying? Have you done something?â You ask him, feeling already too uneasy about where this conversation is going.
âNo, I havenât done anythingâthatâs the problem. I havenât proved to them that Iâm worthy for them to keep paying for my school. I havenât proved to them that I can get a job somewhere. My grades arenât proving anything to them.â
âWhat are you gonna do if they cut you off? You canât pay for this shit-hole by yourselfâthey know that.â You notice the way his jaw is grinding and his breathing is shaking.
âPlease donât get mad at me,â he mumbles quietly. Oh god. âRecently I started taking up, um⌠boxing,â he says, unsure of his words.
ââŚOkay?â You say slowly.
âIâve been fighting, like underground fighting,â you almost donât hear him, but then you do, and you want to laugh in his faceâbut heâs being serious.
âFighting? Jungkook what the fuck?!â You push yourself away from the comfort of his side, âAre you crazy?!â
âIâm getting paid for the fightsâif I win at least,â he tries to sound reasonable but to you, you want to scream at him in anger.
âJungkook, are you fucking kidding me? Youâre fighting? Instead of finding a real job?â
âY/N you donât understandâI make thousands of dollars for one fightâitâs my best chance right now.â
âYouâve got to be fucking kidding me,â you shake your head, pulling your hands through your hair in frustration, you cannot believe this man right now.
âWhat are you going to do about school then? Huh?â You press him.
âI-I was hoping you would help me, at least try to tutor me,â he says hesitantly and your stomach drops. You donât say anything for a moment, unsure if you want to scream or cry at him.
âSo this is the reason why you wanted to rekindle our friendship, so I could be your fucking tutor?â
âWhat noââ
âAre you fucking kidding me Jungkook? I cannot believe you right now,â your voice is getting louder by the minute. You start to walk away from him back to your apartment by yourself, unable to even look at him right now.
âWaitâno, please Y/N,â Jungkook runs to you, grabbing your hand and pulls you back to him, âI know this is all bad timing but I really did miss having you as a friend and youâre the only person, I could tell this to, at least for now,â he quickly explains.
âWhat, so you want me to help you through school while you get the shit knocked out of you for money?â You ask him, âJungkook I donât want to see you go through that, you have to find another option,â your eyes are pleading with him. His grip moves from your hand to your waist which causes your heart to race irregularly.
âY/N, please I know itâs not the best but it really is my best option. I need someone there for me and I need that person to be you,â his face is too close for comfort and you back away from him a few inches.
âJungkook, I donât know,â you shake your head.
âPlease, Y/N, Iâm begging you,â he says again.
âHave you told anyone?â You ask him.
âAside from you, only Taehyung knowsâand Yoongi, he was the one to introduce me to it.â Yoongiâa name youâre not familiar with.
âFucking hell Jungkook,â you lean your head back, trying to contain your emotions.
âPlease you canât tell anyone Y/N, I can get in serious trouble by obtaining money this way.â
âYeah because itâs fucking illegal,â you spit at him. You find his hand to grip a little too tightly and you want to scream at Jungkook. How could he be so stupid? And how were you going to let him be so stupid?
âIâll help you with school Jungkook, but the fighting⌠I donât know,â you tell him, âYou know Iâm not going to be okay with that.â
âIf you makes you feel any better, I havenât lost. The most Iâve walked away with is a few scraps and bruises on my arms,â he tries to lighten up your mood but it doesnât work. âI promise I wonât get hurt, I know what Iâm doing,â he nudges you trying to loosen you up some. He hands end up grabbing yours, intertwining them tightly.
âDonât make me promises you canât keep Jungkook,â you tell him and his face falls again. Both of you look at your intertwined hands. âAt least promise me youâll be careful,â you plead him.
âOf course. I promise,â he says giving your hand a squeeze. Without warning, he pulls you into a tight embrace, his arms wrapping around your waist tightly. Your hands snake up against his neck and pull him close to you as well.
His scent is all too familiar and it scares you that youâve missed out on him growing into the handsome adult he is now. And now, you have to fear for his wellbeing. Fuck. Jungkook pulls away from you and your faces meet a little too close for comfort. His nose brushes against yours, his eyes burning holes into you.
âIâd trust you with my life Y/N,â he speaks again, âAnd Iâm trusting you with this.â
Your breath hitches as his nose brushes yours again. Fuck, you think to yourself. You bite your lip, knowing that you wold absolutely die for this boy and it takes all of you to grip his shirt and push him away from you. You feel less suffocated once your space is empty and Jungkookâs hand stays in yours as he walks you home. Itâs a good thing, you think, that youâve had a stupid little crush on him too or you would most definitely not do this shit for him.
_____
âSo,â Jennie says slowly, âHow was it?â
You hadnât even walked into your apartment five feet before Jennie is rushing questions onto you.
âUm,â you pause, taking the time to take off your shoes, âIt went... well,â you say, unsure of your words. Did it go well? You werenât sure considering the two of you were in an argument nearly the whole way home.
âWell?â Jennie asks, curiosity dripping in her tone, âI need more details than that. Whatâd you do? What did you guys talk about?â
âUm, we just kind of caught up on things,â you knew you had to tread your words lightly. âIt felt pretty normal.â You add at the last second, giving her a weak smile. She narrows her eyes at you.
âThatâs it?â She somewhat frowned.
âWhat did you want me to say?â You give her a laugh as you begin to walk back towards your room and undress into your sleepwear. She follows your footsteps closely.
âI donât know! I was just expecting more, more from you! You seem awfully quiet,â she says plopping down on your bed that she is oh-so accustomed to.
You look through your drawers and pull out a big t-shirt and slip it over your head. You turn to Jennie and give her another pathetic attempt of a smile.
âItâs just weird okay,â you tell her, climbing onto your bed with her, âThis was the first time weâve actually hung out by ourselves in years and I donât know, it was good, like we picked up where we left off you know?â You knew that was a complete lie but you needed to get Jennie off your case or you were afraid you would let your worries slip.
She lets out a sigh, âI guess so. I do think about high school sometimes and we really had it good⌠the four of us,â she smiles fondly thinking back to simpler times.
âYeah⌠we did,â you agree staring up at your ceiling.
âHowâs Taehyung by the way? Did Jungkook mention him?â
You give a glance at Jennie and sheâs looking at her overgrown nails. âHeâs good, Jungkook said he had a girlfriend which surprised me.â
âHm,â Jennie shrugged, âInteresting.â
You furrowed your eyebrows while looking at her. âInteresting?â You found her answer odd but she brushes it off.
âYeah, well I have homework to do that isnât gonna do itself unfortunately,â she stands up from your bed, âSee you in the morning, goodnight.â She throws you a quick wink before she leaves, shutting your bedroom door behind of her.
You let out a sigh of relief when she leaves. As happy as you were that you and Jungkook reconnected some tonight, the uneasiness in the pit of your stomach was keeping you from focusing on the good. You couldnât believe what Jungkook had gotten himself into. Boxing? For money? You knew Jungkook never had much common sense but this takes it to another level. You now knew one of his deepest secrets and not only could that seriously backfire on you if something went wrong. He said he trusted you with his fucking life for Christâs sake. Who says that to someone theyâve barely spoken to in two years? Someone who is desperate, you think.
You grab a book from your nightstand for one of your classes and flip to your last read page, trying to rid your mind of Jungkook getting the shit beat out of him. And as much as you read your book and your eyelids fall sleepy, you manage to barely sleep that night, as images of your old friend are burned into your brain.
_____
It wasnât long after your first meetup with Jungkook that he started asking for tutoring help. Jungkook knew your schedule was busy and he didnât want to pressure you into anything, but the more you were around Jungkook, the more desperate you were to help him. You have known him for so long and despite all your differences, he truly was and will always be one of your best friends. And best friends helped each other. Right?
âHeyâsorry Iâm late,â you meet Jungkook in the back of the fourth floor of the library after your last class of the day. âI had a question about my lectureââ
âY/N itâs fine,â Jungkook says softly, not looking up from his paper, âDonât worry about it.â
You set down beside of him and begin to take your belongings out of your backpack and you notice Jungkook has already begun some work himself.
âHow was classes today?â You ask him opening up your laptop. You give him a glance and heâs focused on the problem in front of him.
âIt was alright, I slept through my first one at tenââ
âWhatâs that?â You ask as you let your eyes focus a little too close on his face. A cut lined across his jaw and up towards his left ear and you felt yourself begin to panic. Â âJungkook whatââ
âDonât worry about it,â heâs being cold and distant and you donât like it. You look down his arms and onto his hands and notice some cuts and bruises there too. Thatâs when it hits you.
âJungkook did you have a fight recently?â You keep your voice low so no one else could hear. He visibly tenses up beside of you and he adjusts his beanie on his to try and cover his ear area.
âYeah,â he says simply, his eyes not looking at you one time, still focusing on the paper ahead.
âJungkook,â your tone is deep and not happy, but you suppose there isnât much you can do in this situation. Curiosity got the best of you and you ask, âWhat happened?â
âLetâs not talk about that okay?â He turns to you fully and you inwardly gasp, seeing that his right eye is half blacked behind his glasses. You feel sick to your stomach and your mouth parts. Again, you donât say anything and just give him a nod.
The rest of the tutoring session with him goes smoothly and Jungkook has significantly picked up his understanding of his classes in a short amount of time, but in the back of your mind you wanted to scream. Scream at him. How could he be doing this to himself? He first told you he was fine. He sure doesnât look fine. Itâs getting close to 7 oâclock when you tell him you have to go get ready for your shift at the diner in an hour.
âWe can pick up again whenever you need to,â you tell, âAnd text me if you have any questions.â
âWhat are you doing this weekend?â Jungkook completely ignores your sentences and you turn to him, trying not to stare at the faint of blue under his eye.
âUm, I have another shift tomorrow that starts at 7,â you tell him.
âCan you get off?â He asks almost nervously as the two of you begin to leave the library.
You chuckle, âProbably not, why?â
âWell, Taehyung and I are having a small get together at our apartment and I wanted to know if you and Jennie wanted to come?â
He sounds genuine and you know it could be fun and a little different from the chaotic frat scene that youâre used to.
âSure, Iâm sure Jennie will be down,â you give him a smile to which he returns one for the first time tonight. âIf I canât get off work Iâll just come after my shift.â
âSounds good,â he says and you are about to part ways before he grabs your arm to stop you, âThanks again Y/N, for helping me out,â thereâs a glimmer in his eyes.
âNo problem, itâs what a friend would do right?â You give him your best smile although it feels weird saying that. His face drops in the slightest way.
âYeahâŚâ he trails off, his hand trailing down your arm before letting go, âSee you soon?â
You give him a nod, âSee you soon.â
_____
Your shift at the diner tonight was being particularly slow for a Tuesday and you found yourself aimlessly making lattes for yourself every thirty minutes. You were slightly jacked from the caffeine but you knew you would need it once you went home to finish off the load of your homework for the night. Bedtime as of right now was looking to be 3 AM, possibly 4. Mark is once again working with you tonight which makes it all the more bearable, but the more you stand behind the counter, sipping your coffee, the more you realize you do not want to waste tomorrow night working.
âHey, Mark,â you say and he looks up from his book.
âWhatâs up?â He asks, his eyes focussing on you.
âWould you careâŚ. to possibly⌠take my shifts this weekend?â You ask slowly, dancing around the topic. His eyebrows furrow and you could tell that is not what he wanted to hear from you.
âI mean⌠I donât care to, but can I ask why?â
Shit. You couldnât say it was to go to a small party. That would be an automatic no.
âWell, Iâve been tutoring someone recently and it's taken away from my own study time, so I really need all weekend to catch up on all my shit,â you say smoothly. Not a complete lie, but he didnât need to know you would be catching up on your âshitâ tonight and not this weekend.
âYeah, sure whatever,â he waves his hand off, âJust be sure to tell our manager before you leave.â
âRight⌠thanks Mark.â
âThat means you owe me a shift in the future,â he says pointedly.
âYeah, yeah, read your fucking book.â
_____
Friday was a blur. You went to sleep around 3:45 AM. Had to wake up at 7 AM for your 8 AM lecture, dragged your feet to your other classes, barely had time to eat anything, only consuming coffee to suppress your appetite in the afternoon, and now that you were home you couldnât wait to lay in your bed for a few hours.
Jennie didnât have classes on Fridayâsâfuck herâso she had been chilling all day when you burst through the door exhausted.
âYou look horrible,â she said as soon as you flopped down on the couch beside of her.
âYou donât have to tell me that,â you groan covering your eyes.
âWell you better get rested up before tonight,â she says.
âWhatâs tonight?â You mumble, nearly drifting off to sleep right then and there.
âJungkook invited us to his apartment, thatâs what you said last night,â she gave you a funny look before shaking her head.
Shit. You had forgotten about that throughout your drowsy state all day.
âYeah, right,â you pause, looking at her through the crack of your arm, âWake me up at 7 to get ready.â You stand up planning on taking the fattest nap of your life.
âI-I captain!â Jennie says sarcastically and itâs the last thing you hear before passing out on your bed, not even bothering to put a blanket over you.
_____
Jungkook and Taehyungâs apartment isnât far from yours. You wouldnât say the exterior is nicer than yours, but the abundance of buildings shows that their community is much larger than the one you and Jennie share.
âThis is right?â Jennie asks as you knock on the door heavily.
âYeah,â you say, faintly hearing music from the other side of the door.
The door swings open and to your surprise, itâs Taehyung.
âJennie, Y/N!â He smiles widely at the two of you before ushering you in. âItâs been wayyyy too long! You guys want a drink?â
You take a second to look around their apartment, not seeing Jungkook anywhere. Thereâs about two dozen people here, some playing pong, others sitting around the living area. You knew Taehyung was feeling a little drunk despite it being only 9 from the way he grabs a couple cups, the entire tower of them falling over.
âHow have you guys been?!â Taehyung pours some cheap tequila into your red solo cups and hands them over.
âGood, what about you?â Jennie smiles to him and Taehyung pours another shot for himself.
âFucking great,â he says before putting his cup out. The three of you bump cups and down the tequila, a familiar burn hitting you instantly. Itâs oddly reminiscent, the three of you drinking alcohol like there are no problems with the world.
âWhereâs Jungkook?â You ask, giving another glance around the apartment, only recognizing some of his frat brothers, but him still not to be found.
âHe went to get more alcohol and some other things,â Taehyung says, pouring another shot for the two of you. âI heard the two of you finally got over your bullshit?â
You furrow your eyebrows and Jennie laughs. âW-what?â You have to laugh too, âBullshit?â
âYou know, how the two of you acted like neither of you existed? God it was so annoying hearing that little bitch talk about you constantly,â he rolls his eyes dramatically and Jennie eyes you suspiciously.
âUh, yeahââ you were unsure of what to say, âHeard you have a girlfriend now?â You change the subject quickly and Jennie raises her eyebrows at Taehyung.
âReally?â Jennie says almost passively. Taehyung doesnât glance at you, only looking to Jennie.
âYeah,â he says, âCâmon, drink your shit. The night is young and you guys need to catch up!â
âOr you need to slow down?â You offer and only giggles again. You down another shot and at this pace, youâll be passed out by 11, Jennie by 10. Youâve always handle your alcohol better than her, but a shot every two minutes will do anyone in.
The three of you talk aimlessly, somewhat of an unresolved tension between Jennie and Taehyung that is impossible to avoid until you get some more alcohol in you. Youâre about four shots of Jose Cuervo in and sipping on some type of seltzer when your phone buzzes in your hand.
[9:46 PM Namjoon] hey, wrud tonight
[9:46 PM You] at a friendâs place tonight, wbu
Your eyes are having trouble to focus as the alcohol begins to settle in your system. You remember vividly how you barely had any food today and you know you should stop drinking otherwise you might puke everywhere.
[9:48 PM Namjoon] damn, missing you. I believe you still owe me a rain check
You laugh at your phone.
[9:48 PM You] soon, I promise lol
âJungkook! Fuck yes my brother!â
You instantly look up from your phone and see Jungkook walking through the front door, a case of beer in one hand and a brown bag in the other. He smiles as he sets down the case and bag of liquor as his brothers crowd around him to grab a can.
Do you go up to him? Yes, are you, stupid? But shouldnât he look for you? What are you twelve?
Your internal monologue is interrupted when Taehyung pulls you over to Jungkook with a small push. Â
âHey Y/N,â Jungkook smiles, grabbing a beer for himself. Heâs wearing a hat to cover his forehead.
âHi,â you smile and he gives you a small, somewhat awkward hug.
âGlad you could make it,â he says, the bruises on his face from the other day already looking a lot better.
âI was not going to spend my Friday night at the restaurant,â you laugh, trying intensely to focus on his face and not zone in and out as you tend to do drunkenly.
âJennie here?â He asks.
âYeah, sheâs uh,â you pause, actually not knowing where she went. âOh, sheâs playing pong with Taehyung.â
âCome on then,â he reaches out his hand, âLetâs play with them.â
âJungkook Iâm terrible, you know thatââ
âI never said you were good, but for old times sake?â His brown eyes bore into yours and you give in, nodding your head and settling your hand into his. His hands are warmâalways have been. Slightly rough and calloused but smoothâwhat the fuck, stop it!
The four of you, girls verses boys, start a new game of pong and youâre sure Jennie is just as bad as you. Thatâs evident when Jungkook and Taehyung lob four in, one after another. Youâre lucky you get one in their cups. Jennie, too drunk at this point, canât even throw straight. The whole sight is very funny as the four of you laugh like youâre the only ones in the room.
âCome on Y/N!â Taehyung yells, âI knew you were ass but really?!â
âMe! What about her!â You defend yourself as Jennie throws a ball at Jungkookâs head.
âAt least Y/N can aim!â Jungkook laughs, defending you as well, rubbing his head from the plastic impact.
The game ends with Jungkook calling island and you donât even care at this point. Pong was and never will be your favorite. Flip cup was your speciality and even Taehyung knew that. You find yourself sitting with Jungkook on their couch, legs tucked underneath you, watching at Taehyung and Jennie take on another round of pong with Jacksonâa fraternity brotherâand his long time girlfriendâMina, maybe?
âAre you even drunk right now?â You deadpan Jungkook with your eyes and he gives you a small smile.
âNah,â he says, âYou are though,â he says pointedly drinking from his beer.
âHeyââ you point, âOnly a little,â you whisper close to his ear and he laughs at you again. âYou sir, need to drink.â
Jungkook shakes his head before standing up, your eyes following up his jeans to his t-shirt clad chest. Has he always looked like this? You grab onto his extended hand and he leads you away from everyone and your heart rate quickens. Where are you going? Whatâs he doing?
To your relief, he takes to the small outside balcony, sliding the door nearly closed as you step out. Thereâs two other people out here smoking cigarettes that greet you and Jungkook curiously. You have seen these boys before, but you know they donât recognize you. They obviously think youâre some random girl Jungkook has invited butâif they only knew.
The fresh air feels nice, but you can feel a chill running down your spine and you watch Jungkookâs frame go to a dark corner of the balcony, bending down to pick something off the ground.
âWhat are you doing?â You ask him and he turns back to you and you send some interesting paraphernalia in his hands.
âNot in a drinking mood tonight,â he says, his eyes leaving yours before focusing on the small glass bowl in his hands. He starts to pack it and youâre watching his every move closely. You never knew Jungkook to be a stoner, but the way he packs it quickly and begins to light it, tells you otherwise. He inhales through the end of the bowl deeply, exhaling once, before quickly taking another hit.
âGoddamn,â you laugh and he starts to cough a little bit, a small laugh coming from him.
Jungkook begins to walk back to the corner before you grab his shirt to pull him back.
âYou heard of sharing is caring?â You say and he shakes his head.
âNo, youâre drunk, you donât needââ
âI want too,â you say. You hadnât smoked in awhile, but you knew you could trust Jungkook. âCome on, Iâm fine.â
Jungkook hesitates a little before he holds out the bowl. You take it and hold is securely between your lips. He lights the underside and you inhale deeply. The balcony begins to smell like weed, but it doesnât bother you, it never has. You exhale and give him a small smile. He puts the illegal substances away and stands beside of you on the balcony.
âAlright, that will be five dollars,â he says and you turn to him, your mouth agape.
âFive dollars a hit? Kiss my ass,â you say and you suddenly begin to feel the effects of the marijuana, which makes you giggle a little too long.
âHow was your day?â Jungkook asks you and you nearly feel like you could fall asleep.
âExhausting,â you mumble, âI got like four hours of sleep last night and one of my professors had the audacity to tell me that my answer was wrong on my homework when literally five other people had the same answer and got it right. And then I had coffee as my meals and had a busting headache until I took the longest nap of my fucking lifeââ
âSlow down,â Jungkook interjects with a laugh, âToo much information that Iâm not processing right now.â
You let out an âughâ before saying, âIâve had better days for sure.â You leave it at that. âWhat about you?â
He smiles before turning to you completely, âIâve had better days, better weeks for sure.â He almost sounds annoyed now, like something is deeply bothering him.
You let a pause presume between the two of you, unsure of what to say. You know you shouldnât bring it up, but you canât help it. The bruises on his face, the cuts on his handsâyou needed to know what happened to him. Despite your intoxicated state, you could form sentences and think pretty clearly and you werenât letting Jungkook out of your sight without explaining himself.
âJungkook,â you say in a whisper, looking around to see if the other guys had left. They had. âAre you gonna tell me what happened to your face?â
He looks down, almost embarrassed. âThere was a fight on Tuesday,â he stops when you furrow your eyebrows at him.
âTuesday?!â You half whisper, âWhat the hell are you doing fighting on a Tuesday? Jungkook you saidââ
âIt wasnât an official fight Y/N,â he interrupts you, âI was fucking jumped with one of my friends,â he says and your eyes widen. You feel your head spinning and your mouth goes dry. From the weed, alcohol, or the conversation? Youâre not sure.
âWhat?â You ask, worry filling your tone, âJungkook what the fuck! You said you had this under control.â
âKeep your voice down!â He scolds, âI do have it under control, although you canât really control when you get jumped.â
âW-why? Who would wantââ
âHis name is Eric. I beat him at the last real fight and I guess heâs a sore fucking loser. He wants a rematch and everything, said he was injured before the fight, so he sent some pussies to jump my friend Jimin and I.â
The information being taken in wasnât something you wanted to hear. Was this stupid underground boxing that serious? And how stupid could Jungkook be to continue to do this?
âWell youâre not gonna fight him again,â you pause. He doesnât look at you. âAre you?â
âThereâs a lot of money on the line,â he says.
âJungkook youâve got to be joking.â
âIâm not Y/N,â he turns to you again, his body now closer than before. His knuckles gripping the railing are pale and cracked. âIf I win this fight, I wonât need anymore money before the end of the year. Hell, Iâll probably even have some left over.â
âOkay? And?â
âThen I can be done with fighting,â he sounds genuine but insincere  at the same time. This greatly improves your posture and you feel your heartbeat calming down.
âB-but I figured you would need more money? Your parents Jungkook?â You stumble over some of your words.
âY/N you donât understand the money within these things, itâs insane. Trust me, Iâll be set with money for awhile. I just have to win that fightâŚâ
You want to protest him. Tell him he shouldnât do it, that he should find a normal job, get away from that stuffâbut you stay silent. Jungkook always will be as stubborn as you and he seems to have made up his mind about this fighting stuff awhile ago. At the end of the day, whatever happens to him, isnât necessarily your business.
âYou know Iâll never agree with this,â you shake your head, looking down at Jungkookâs hands. Theyâve relaxed against the railing and time has slowed down significantly. Every blink of your eyes seem to last 5 seconds and Jungkook could say the same thing.
âI know,â Jungkook steps towards you, overlapping one of his hands with yours, âBut like I said, I trust you and you should trust me,â he almost sounds desperate. âLook at me,â he whispers and you slowly turn your head up. Your noses are nearly touching and you can smell him, your vision clouding in the dark.
âDo you trust me?â He asks quietly, licking his lips and you swallow, trying to find your breath.
You nod your head slowly, âYes.â
You donât know who leans in first, but when your lips meet, itâs like a siren goes off. The scene feels all too familiar. His lips are soft and they feel just like you remember. Heâs gentle with you, his left hand holding your waist to pull you towards him, your bodies flush together. One of your hands finds their way to his hair and you pull him down closer to you. This feels good, really goodâbut isnât this wrong? You two have just rekindled your relationship and you two didnât even last four weeks before you two are snoggingâthe very reason your friendship became weird in the first place all those years ago.
You try to pull away, âJungkookââ he closes the gap once again and itâs like a drugâtouch is like heroin in your veins. Both of you are hungryâhungry for each other. Youâre not sure when, but you find yourself backed into the wall of the dark-side of the balcony. The door isnât in view so anyone inside couldnât see what was going on right now thank god.
âY/N,â the groan sends your body into overdrive and he begins to trail his lips down your neck and youâve pulled him so close to you there is barely room to breathe. Itâs gotta be the alcoholâor the weedâor just Jungkookâbut youâve never wanted anyone more in your life. You squeeze your thighs together to find some unrelieved friction and Jungkook senses what youâre doing. He stops you, forcing is own leg between your crotch and you subtly moan.
âFuck, shh,â Jungkook scolds and it makes you laugh as you check if anyone is coming to the door.
âJungkook,â you whisper and he closes the gap between you again, covering your mouth gently and you genuinely feel butterflies in your stomach. Jungkookâs hand trails from your waist down to the front of you jeans and you pull away suddenly, âJungkook w-what are you doing?!â
âDo you want me to do this?â He sounds mischievous as he pops open the button to your pants and you can safely say you never thought you would be in this situation with Jeon Jungkook of all people, but you are not about to stop him.
You kiss him this time, pulling on his hair, eliciting another delicious groan from him. His hand makes it way to your center and you shiver in the cold, his hands warm against your underwear. He rubs you through the material, once, twice, three times before he moves aside the fabricâthe wetness covering his fingers instantly. You look towards the door again nervous that someone might walk out here and see the two of you compromisedâyou would die. Especially if it was Taehyung or Jennie.
âQuiet, alright?â Jungkook whispers and you nod biting your lip as he enters a finger into you. You close your eyes, mouth falling open. Your breathing picks up as he enters a second digit. His fingers are long and calloused as you noticed before but it feels so good. He brings one of your legs around his waist so he can get deeper into your center and a small, squeaky moan escapes from your mouth. Jungkook shuts you up by kissing you again and he begins to move his fingers in and out, curling them in all the right places, sending you into a silent mess.
You and Jungkook shouldnât be doing thisânot here, not right now, not ever. But youâre not doing anything to stop it. Neither is he. Is this suppose to be happening then? Noâdefinitely yes. Wait, what? Your brain is so foggy you canât even think straight.
Jungkook has added a third finger and itâs becoming harder and harder to stay quiet. Jungkookâs face in the crook of your neck, your neck in hisâitâs all a little too intimate but itâs hot and heavy and it feels so good. Jungkook begins to use his thumb to find your clit, which he does with no problemârubbing there and still moving in and out of you. Goddamn, he knows what he is doing.
âJungkook, Iâm gonnaââ
âShh,â he says, âBite me, anywhere,â he says and you do as he says, your teeth clamping down onto his shoulder as you feel yourself falling off the edge. Your orgasm comes in a huge wave and itâs one of the best youâve had in a long timeâyour body is shaking and you whimper into his shoulder, trying to keep as quiet as possible. Jungkook lets you finish before he pulls his hand out of your pants, letting your leg drop. You two stare at each other for a couple seconds, unsure of what to do now. You knew that Jungkook was hard in his pants but you werenât sure if he wanted you to do anything about it. Should you ask? No thatâs fucking weird. Well itâs fucking weird you just let your best friend of a billion years to give you one of the best orgasms of your life.
âUm,â he speaks first, âWe should go back inside,â he says.
You nod, âYeah, we should.â
You follow closely behind him as he slides the door open and you step back into the much warmer apartment.
âY/N! Jungkook! What were you guys doing?!â Jennie pops out of nowhere until she steps back, âFuck never mind, I can smell it,â she laughs, her eyes looking between the two of you. âWhatâs wrong with you two? Are you fighting again? Jesus fuckingââ
âNo, weâre fine, just high,â Jungkook gives her a reassuring smile and she nods absentmindedly. She is very drunk and then two of you might have to go home sooner than later.
âI need to call an Uber,â you say grabbing your phone from your pocket.
âI can drive you guys if you want,â Jungkook offers and you narrow your eyes at him.
âAbsolutely not, youâre high.â You say pulling up the app on your phone.
âIâve driven high before itâs notââ
âJungkook, no,â you somewhat snap at him. This kid really knows how to grind your gears. âThanks for inviting us, I just donât want Jennie to do something she regrets tomorrow morning.â You try your best to lighten to mood but itâs not helping. As much progress as you and Jungkook had made the past few weeks, that all feels gone now. Thereâs heaviness with you and him and you hate it.
âJust let me know when you make it home?â Jungkookâs eyes are hard to read. He looks worried, anxious, high obviously, and other potential obscurities.
âI will, I promise,â you give him a smile and he returns one weakly. You look over your shoulder to find Jennie practically draping herself all over Taehyung. Fuck. âJennie! Come on! Weâre leaving,â you stomp over to the two of them and Taehyung doesnât seemed bothered by Jennie throwing herself at him at all. If anything, they both seem to like it. âJennie, quit, he has a girlfriend. Taehyung, you have a girlfriend,â you narrow at the both of them.
Taehyung laughs very drunkenly, âYouâre right, come on Jen,â Taehyung pushes her away slightly and she stumbles over her feet.
âOur Uber is almost here,â you tell her and she nods.
âSounds good,â she gives you a thumbs up.Â
âHelp me walk her Tae?â You ask and he nods.
As you and Taehyung have Jennie up around your shoulders, you look around the apartment to find Jungkook to tell him bye, but heâs nowhere to be seen.
_____
It had been exactly one week since youâve seen Jungkook. Since he was fist deep into your vagina, pleasuring you with at least 20 people in the room next to you. It has also been the last time you spoke to him. He didnât reach out for any tutoring this week which was oddâas the two of you set a schedule for it a few weeks back. You were worried. You knew you should reach out to him and talk about what happenedâbut something was holding you back. You didnât want to talk over the phone. It had to be done in person and it just had to be done. You didnât want to lose Jungkook a second time to another drunken mistake.
Mistake? Since when was it a mistake? Was it a mistake?
You had no idea.
Itâs why youâve found yourself at Jungkookâs apartment a week later, waiting for someone to open the door. You wait patiently and no one answers the door. Youâre about to give up when a voice startles you.
âY/N? What are you doing here?â
Taehyung appears to your left and you jump.
âShit Taehyung,â you hold a hand over your chest, âIâm sorry, I-I was just wondering if Jungkook was home?â
Taehyung adjusts his backpack. He must be getting back from class. âHeâs probably at the gym.â
You nod slowly, âAlright, thank you.â
âNo problem,â he says and youâre about to walk away and he stops you again, âEverything okay?â
You open your mouth and close it again, âNot sure,â you tell him honestly. He nods without another word, seeming to understand where youâre coming from.
If your assumptions were right, Jungkook would be at a gym about ten minutes from campus, one he frequented as a freshman all that time ago. You wanted everything to be okay, but now, you were sure you have done fucked it up once again.
The gym isnât crowded and you donât recognize any cars to be Jungkookâs so your mood begins to dampen as you walk towards the front door. The bell rings and you probably look like an idiot walking in with jeans and sandals, but your eyes ignore the stares as you try to find Jungkook. You walk through the gym towards the back, your neck craning each direction to find him. It smells of sweat and grit, something you havenât done too much of lately. Youâre about to give up until you reach the back, where a cracked door leads into another section of the gym. You open the crack slowly and the sounds of grunting and hard hits fill the room. You stop in your place as your eyes land on Jungkook, downing boxing gloves, a pair of shorts, and nothing else. You gulp.
Heâs hitting a heavy bag hard and fast, his movements halting only for a split second before he strikes again. Heâs dripping in sweat and you gulp again. Should you interrupt? Heâs definitely not expecting you therefore you probably shouldnât barge in but youâre already here, so what are you supposed to do?
âCome on Jungkook,â another manâs voice comes into play. Youâve never seen this guy with mint colored hair. âThrow a southpaw, letâs go!âÂ
Jungkookâs stance quickly changes and heâs throwing his right arm and then uppercutting his left arm with all of his weight.Â
âNice Jungkook,â the voice says again. Jungkook steps back with a smile on his face, looking behind him.Â
âHey,â a different voice yells over and you stop to see who it is. A guy slightly shorter than Jungkook appears in the crack of the door, a wide smile across his face.
âGood news, fight is set,â the guy smiles, although his smile reads less than enthusiastic. You notice some bruising along this guys arms, a large scrap on the side of his face. This has to be Jimin, the other guy that was jumped with Jungkook.Â
âWhen is it?â Jungkook breathes heavily, his hair sticking to his forehead as he tries to push it back through his gloves.
âOctober thirteenth,â Jimin says, âA Friday.â
Jungkook laughs, âA fucking Friday the thirteenth? How cheesy could they get?â
You swallow harshly. October 13th was a less than three weeks away. Youâre sure they are talking about the fight with the guy named Eric that Jungkook mentioned.
âI know right,â the nameless guy says, âBut Iâm sure youâll kick his ass once again, waste of your time.â
âDonât have to tell me twice Jimin,â Jungkook sounds annoyed and youâre starting to wonder if you should have came here at all.Â
âCome on, letâs do some more sets,â the other guy says says, patting Jungkook on the shoulder.
You take in a deep breath, hoping that this doesnât backfire. You take your chance and open the door to the room as if you just showed up. Jungkook, Jimin, and the third guy turns to you.
âY/N?â Jungkook asks, looking confused, âWhat are you doing here?â
You glance around the room awkwardly, âUh, I-uh, went to your apartment to see you if you were a-and Taehyung said you were here, so,â you sound like a babbling idiot.
Jungkookâs eyes soften and itâs hard to not stare below his neck, but somehow you manage.
âJimin, Yoongi this is Y/N,â Jungkook formally introduces you, âSheâs a friend.â A friend. That hurt more than it should have.
âHi,â Jimin gives you a sweet smile and he seems like a person Jungkook would automatically gravitate towards. Yoongi stays quiet. Heâs definitely not someone you would strike as Jungkookâs friend.Â
âSorry if Iâm interruptingâI didnât knowâŚâ you trail off, feeling more than awkward in this situation.
âNo worries,â Jimin shakes his head, âWe were almost done anyways.â
Jungkookâs eyes havenât met yours since youâve walked in. Heâs staring at Jimin and knowing Jungkook, heâs going to try and leave as soon as he can.
âWanna meet again tomorrow?â Jimin asks towards Jungkook as he packs up his bag on the floor.
âYeah, sure,â Jungkook mutters, staring aimlessly at the ceiling. âIâm gonna stay here for a little longer though.â
âAlright,â Jimin says, âIt was nice to meet you Y/N.â
You smile to him, âYou too.â
Jimin and Yoongi leave the room and the silence is suffocating. You cross your arms around your chest feeling vulnerable and insecure. You look at Jungkook and heâs staring at you now. He looks away from you before turning back to the bag, lining up to strike it again.
âJungkook,â your voice interrupts his chance to punch. He pauses with one more glance to your frame. You begin to walk closer to him wanting to get this over and done with. âWhatâs wrong with you?â You ask.
Jungkook looks down, âI donât know what youâre talking about,â he mutters and you nearly jump out of your body when he begins to strike the bag in quick, calculated motions. The bag moves backwards with each punch and his face tenses up, his mind clearly on one thing and one thing only. You exhale deeply, trying to stay calm. If thatâs the way heâs going to playâyou wonât keep your cool for long.
âJungkook, stop,â you raise your voice over his movements and he suddenly quits, looking up at you again. âDonât do this right now,â you say stepping closer to him again.
âWhat do you want Y/N, Iâm busy alright,â he scoffs, stepping away from the bag, turning fully to you. You wish he didnât look good drenched in sweat but it was hard to stay focused when he was looking like that.
âYou know exactly what I want. You havenât spoken to me in a fucking week Jungkook,â your words are fiery despite your cool demeanor.
âIs that really that big of an issue? We barely spoke for two years until recently,â he sounds annoyed, but also timidâyou can sense something is bothering him.
You frown, âYeah until recently because I thought we moved past that.â
He doesnât say anything. And thatâs what boils your blood. Tears are threatening to spill from your eyesânot from sadness, but frustration. Â
âSo is that it? I let you finger fuck me and now I donât mean anything to you anymore?â Your words are seething and once you say this, Jungkookâs face softens that slightest bit.
âWhat? No Y/Nââ
âThen what the fuck is wrong with you? What have I done?!â It takes all of you not to breakdown right there. You just got Jungkook back. You couldnât lose him a second time.
âY/N listen,â Jungkook takes off his boxing gloves, throwing them in the floor, âYou havenât done anything alright. Itâs justâcomplicated,â he shakes his head, stepping closer to you. He tries to grab one of your hands but you pull away from him.
âNo, no you donât get to do that,â you say, âWhat happened to communicating Jungkook? Wasnât that our issue all that time ago?â
He looks down and back up. You really wish he would put a shirt on. âI know, I knowâŚâ he wanders off, âIf I could tell you I would, but Iâm just under a lot of stress right now andââ
âThen tell me whatâs wrong,â you donât want to interrupt him, but you feel like you two are going in an endless circle. Jungkook steps towards you once again and this time you donât back away from him.
âLook, Iâm sorry alright. I shouldnât have cut you off this past weekâI just thought it would clear my head,â he says. With hesitation, he grabs your wrists gently, âThat was stupid I get that okay? Iâm sorry, especially after⌠what happened,â he says and you can tell he means it. Jungkook is a genuine person, you canât argue that.
Your face warms up and you feel almost embarrassed. Were you overreacting?
âI just donât understand,â you mutter, âIâm sorry for jumping to conclusions but Jungkook, youâre worrying me. I donât know whatâs going on with us and this whole boxing thing is keeping me awake at night.â
He intertwines your fingers together and itâs comforting. Comfort youâve been missing ever since a week ago. âY/N, please just trust me okay? If I can get through these next few weeks Iâm set and I promise you donât have to worry about me anymore.â
âHow can you promise that?â You look up fully at him and youâre a lot closer than moments ago.
âI donât to make promises I canât keep.â
You sure hoped he was right.
_____
Two weeks have gone by since your talk with Jungkook in the gym. He had resumed talking to you normally, although there was still something off about him. Then again, there was something off with you too. The intimate situation the two of you found yourself in a few weeks back, still hadnât been fully discussed and it bothered you like no other. It bothered you because you couldnât stop thinking about it. Youâd be lying if you said you didnât want it to happen againâor even further. Fuck, you shouldnât be thinking about Jungkook like this. But donât you have a right to? Jesus you were so confused. Itâs why you have found yourself at Beta Tau Sigma once again on a Saturday night, Jennie already lost in tow somewhere, and youâre standing with Namjoon. Even though your mind was clouded with Jungkook, Namjoon was good company at keeping you distracted.
âWhatâs up with you lately?â Namjoon asks handing you another drink. You furrow your brows before taking a sip. Your face scrunches up at the tasteânot the best.
âWhat do you mean?â You ask.
Namjoon gives you a straight smile, âDonât play stupid,â he says. You donât even try to make up a lie. Namjoon is too smart for that.
âI donât know, Joon,â you sigh, âIâve just been going through a lot lately I guess,â you mutter over the loud music.
âI get it,â he says, âWanna talk about it?â
Youâre about to answer him when you suddenly spot a familiar head of dark brown hair across the room. Itâs Jungkook and heâs with a girlâyou recognize her from somewhere. Sheâs standing in front of him and heâs smirking down at her and says something that makes her laugh. Then you know where youâve seen her beforeâthe bathroom girl. Fuck her, you donât even realize you roll your eyes.
Namjoon laughs, âWhoa, what was that for?â He raises an eyebrow at you.
âW-what?â You look back to him and he follows where your eyes had been.
âLooking at Jungkook, eh?â He smirks, âSomething going on between you two?â
You shake your head immediately, âNo. Absolutely not.â
You didnât know if that was a lie or not. Sure, Jungkook and you may have swapped some bodily fluids recently, but nothing else. You were also keeping a secret of his, one that if Namjoon found out aboutâwould have him kicked out of the frat faster than he could blink. You glance back over to Jungkook one more time and find his eyes scanning the room. They land on you within 5 seconds and he shifts uncomfortably in front of bathroom girl.
âYou sure?â Namjoon finds this situation funny. You donât.
âShut up,â you push on his chest slightly and he grabs your hand, pulling you towards him.
âOh I can make you shut up,â he mumbles and you laugh as he closes the distance between the two of you. Namjoonâs lips are always soft and plump but that doesnât mean he is always the most gentle. Namjoon is rough and sometimesâitâs just what you need. Jungkookâs lips onâ
You pull away quickly from him. What the fuck?
âYou okay?â He asks with concern.
You nod your head, âYeah, I, just uh need some air,â you say. It was trueâyour head was now spinning and the alcohol wasnât helping. You couldnât believe you thought of Jungkook when kissing Namjoon.
âAlright, Iâll be by the bar.â
You leave Namjoonâs side and push your way through the hoards of people and loud music. You spot a door towards the back of the kitchen and use that as your opportunity. The air is cool but crisp. Just what you needed. Thereâs quite a few people outside surrounding a large bonfire keeping warm. You relax against the porch railings, staring aimlessly at the ground beneath you. You pour your drink out, knowing you donât need to drink anymore of it. You nearly shit yourself when a voice comes up directly behind you.
âY/N.â
You whip around, clutching your chest. âJesus Christ Jungkook,â you say. His hands are stuffed in the pockets of his jeans, a large flannel and sweatshirt covering his torso. He approaches you hastily and you donât take your eyes off of his.
âI didnât know you were coming tonight,â he says, obviously trying to make small talk.
âI didnât either until Namjoon asked me this evening,â you say and you instantly regret bringing up his name. Jungkook stiffens.
âStill good friends with him I see,â he bites his lip nervously, looking over to the bonfire. You squint your eyes at him. He sounds off and annoyed.
âI see youâre still friends with bathroom girl,â you shoot back. Youâre not even drunk, barely tipsy, but the thought of Jungkook being annoyed at you and Namjoon nearly sends you. At least you know Namjoon wellâthe only Jungkook knows about that girl is her fucking mouth.
âGotta an issue with that?â He runs his tongue against his mouth and he looks at your from the side.
You turn to him and this feels all too familiar. âYeah, actually I do.â
âWell, I have an issue kissing Namjoon in front of meâare we even?â He cocks his head to the side and youâve never felt more annoyed yet turned on at the same time.
âWhatever,â you brush him off running a hand through your hair, turning back to your front staring at the fire. âLast time I checked I donât take orders from you.â
âI know,â he says and you feel him push his body against your side. Your breathing instantly picks up and you bite the inside of your cheek to steady yourself. One of Jungkookâs hands finds its way to your shoulder, trailing it down to your elbow, then pushing it through the crack of your arm to settle on your waist.
âJungkook,â you say quietly, not wanting to bring any attention to the two of you. Jungkookâs head leans down, his temple brushing against yours. His hand rubs gentle circles on your waist and you inhale his scent deeply. Fuck. âJungkook⌠are you drunk?â
He shakes his head, âNo, are you?â You believe him. He doesnât smell like alcohol nor does he seem tipsy.
âNo,â you say. Jungkook pulls you impossibly closer to him and your throat feels like its closing up.
âCan I kiss you?â Jungkook asks and you turn your head up, your noses brushing together. What? When has he ever been this upfront? You hesitate to answer but soon nod slowlyâjust onceâyou needed to feel it againâjust once again. He closes the gap between you and you nearly melt into him. One of your hands grabs his face gently, pulling him down to you. Your own hands find their way to his fluffy hair, entangling into the locks. He presses himself into you and you feel your heart beating out of your chest. You let out a small whine when he pulls on your lip with his teeth and it shakes you back to reality.
You pull away from himâyour entire body on fire. Heâs got you trapped against the railing and you donât trust the old wood to support your weight much longer.
âJungkook,â you whisper and you feel something hard pressing into your front and your throat goes dry.
âCome home with me,â he says, âPlease.â Desperation. Thatâs what laces his tone and youâre sure your heart left from your chest. Butâyou know this isnât a good idea. Blame it on being sober, but youâre not sure you should go there with Jungkook. Not right now at least. Your head was spinning and as much as you wanted toâyou couldnât.
âJungkook,â your eyes focus on his chest, watching your hands grip his shirt gently. âIâWe canât, we shouldnât,â you bite your lip nervously.
âPlease Y/N,â he nuzzles his forehead into yours, his grip on your getting tighter, âI need you, pleaseââ
âJungkook, no,â you push him off of you carefully and he looks hurt and confused. âIâm sorry, IâI want to butââ
âBut what?â Once again, he looks sad and maybe a little angry now? âIIâm not Namjoon? Is that it?â
You shake your head, not able to find a good answer in your head. His hands drop from your side and so does your stomach. Without another glance at your frame, Jungkook walks away, pulling at the roots of his hair.
You get home alone that night. Fuck. You think you really may have messed up this time. No, Jungkook wasnât Namjoon but Namjoon could never be Jungkook. The history the two of you have... god you were so confused. Youâre not sure youâve ever felt gravity pull you to someone more since recently, that someone being Jungkook. As confused as your feelings were, you cry some in your bed. You donât sleep that night, worried that whatever wedge is driving itself between you and Jungkook againâwonât be fixable this time.
_____
Jungkook, maybe much not to your surprise, cuts you off again the next week. You havenât spoken or seen him since the party. Since he wanted you to go home with him and you nearly did, but thankfully you used your head some. You missed seeing his face dearly and missed his smile even more. When did things get so complicated with you and him? Ever since fucking graduation in high schoolânothing has been the same. Itâs been years and years and itâs something youâve never gotten over. The more you think about it, the obvious reasons begin to show. Maybe Jungkook means more to you than you thought? Maybe he wasnât just supposed to be your best friend? What if you two had been destined for something else all this time? Or maybe you werenât meant to be friends at all?
Your thoughts are interrupted when a familiar face walks into your shift at the diner. Taehyung is by himself, his backpack thrown lazily over one of his shoulders. He looks tired, but just like you, getting through the day. His eyes meet yours and give him a small smile.
âSit wherever,â you tell him and he decides to sit along the bar, sitting across from where you stand.
âGood evening,â he gives you a small smile, running a hand over his face.
âHey Tae,â you breathe out, handing him a menu. He holds up his hand, not wanting it.
âJust get me a latte, extra espresso please,â he says and you nod.
âComing right up.â
It doesnât even take you a minute to make lattes now. The process has become so familiar itâs become second nature. Mainly due to your own obsession with lattes and your determination to perfect them yourself. You top the mug off with some foam before sliding it over to Taehyung. He doesnât wait for it to cool before taking a big gulp.
âRough day?â You ask, leaning forward on your elbows.
âYou donât even know,â he grumbles, âI had a quiz in my hardest class today that I didnât know about, therefore didnât study for,â he pauses, âI had to pick up all the slack on a group project thatâs due on Saturday and then I have had to deal with Jungkookâs dumbass all week and he was at his worst this morning,â he rolls his eyes.
The mention of Jungkook makes your heart flutter yet stomach feel nauseated, âWhatâs wrong with Jungkook?â
Taehyung raises an eyebrow at you, âDonât you know?â
âUm⌠he hasnât talked to me in a week,â you look down at your hands, your mouth dry.
âJesus fuck,â Taehyung groans, âNo wonder heâs been in such a fucking mood. What did he do?â
You werenât sure how to go about your answer. Um, yeah, so like Jungkook wanted me to go home with him to have sex and I did too and I didnât and I donât know why. Sounds great.
âIt wasnât him. It was me,â you pause, âHe asked me to go home with him.â
Taehyungâs eyes widen slightly, a small smirk on his face, âDid you?â
You shake your head, âNo, I couldnât bring myself to. I wanted to butâŚâ you trail off, slightly embarrassed to be telling Taehyung this.
âGoddammit,â he nearly laughs, âNo wonder heâs pissy. Between you and tomorrow, kidâs got his work cut out.â You pick up Taehyung joking around but you still furrow your eyebrows.
âWhatâs tomorrow?â You ask.
âThe 13th. Did he not tell you?â Fuck. His fight. Without talking to Jungkook everyday, you had forgotten about the fight.
âHe mentioned it.â
âAre you going?â The question catches you off guard.
âWhat, oh no,â you shake your head, âNo, he didnât ask and I donât think thatâs something I wanna see anyways.â
âTrust me, he wants you there,â he says, âHeâs just being a dick.â
âHeâs got a funny way of showing it,â you snap. âEvery time something happens between us⌠he shuts me off. I donât fucking get it.â
âY/N he does this to everyone when heâs stressed,â Taehyung pauses, âEspecially since, you know,â he shrugs. The fights.
You nod, âI get it,â you slump, âItâs still frustrating.â
âYou donât have to tell me thatâat least you donât live with him,â he gives you a laugh and you send a smile in return.
âHow do you feel about it?â You ask him genuinely, âThe boxing I meanâŚâ
Taehyung squints his eyes briefly, âI think itâs stupid personally,â this answer warms your heart until he continues, âBut if I was as good as Jungkook I would probably do it too. The money in these things are insane.â
You raise your eyebrows, âSo Iâve heard.â
Taehyung nods before he gets a text on his phone. He reads it before smiling.
âYour girlfriend?â You probe curiously.
He clears his throat, âUh, yeah,â he responds quickly before turning his phone over. âSo, what exactly is going on between you two?â
âUh, what do you mean?â You laugh sarcastically.
Taehyung deadpans his face, âYou know what I mean. I know you guys have this weird chemistry, itâs obvious. Plus he hasnât shut up about you since you started tutoring him. Y/N this, Y/N that⌠itâs disgusting.â
Did Jungkook really talk about you?
âAsk him, not me because I donât even fucking know. I could tell you what Kim Namjoon and I are before I could define mine and Jungkookâs relationship.â You let out a laugh and other eye roll.
âIâm assuming you and hyung are⌠what do they say? Friends withâŚ?â
âYeah yeah whatever you wanna call it,â you swat your hand slightly embarrassed.
âJungkook hates it you know,â he says, switching tones. âYou and Namjoon.â
You slightly snort, âAnd why is that?â You could tell Jungkook didnât like seeing you with Namjoon, even before last weekend after he voiced it.
âBecause he knows Namjoon is the type of guy youâve always wanted, not him.â This takes you completely off guard.
âWhy would Jungkook care about that?â You furrow.
Taehyung shrugs, staying silent this time. You werenât stupidâyou knew what Taehyung was implying by saying what he said. It makes your stomach drop. Maybe Jungkook felt more for you than he supposed to as well?
âSo are you gonna come tomorrow?â He asks.
âNo Taehyung,â you say, âI donât want to see Jungkook get the shit beat out of him.â
âJungkook wonât get the shit beat out of him, I can promise you that.â
You eyes glance over to the door as a small group of people walk into the diner. You donât say anything else to Taehyung as you walk over to greet them. You seat them and make your way back to Taehyung, but you canât chat much longer as you now have a table to tend to.
âListen Y/N,â Taehyung stops you before you can walk back over with menus for the group, âIf you wanna come, just text me. Like I said Jungkook wants you there, whether heâs said so or not. Also, another latte please, youâre slacking woman.â
You swat him with the menus before walking away from him. Goddamn, these next 24 hours were going to be hell.
_____
You couldnât remember the last time you were ever this nervous for someone aside from yourself in a very long time. You remember how nervous you were in high school when you got injured and Jennie had to double with a girl on the bench of the tennis team. You remember being nervous for your parents when you left for college. And now, you donât ever recall a moment in your life where you have been this nervous for Jeon Jungkook of all people.
It was Friday at 3:43 PM and you day was slow but painless, and you had no official plans set for the evening. Taehyung had texted you, wondering if you wanted to hitch a ride along with him to the match. You had yet to answer him. His text mocking you from your screen and you wanted to pretend that you knew nothing of the boxing match but that was impossible.
[You 3:59 PM] What time should I be ready
You send the message before you could regret it and delete it. Jennie has yet to be home from going to the store and you would need a good, yet believable excuse for your absence tonight.
[Taehyung 4:00 PM] iâll pick you up around 8
[You 4:00 PM] Sounds good. Have you spoken to Jungkook today?
[Taehyung 4:02 PM] no heâs been quiet all day. have you?
[You 4:02 PM] Nope
You donât receive another text from him and you slump down on your couch. It had been nearing two full weeks since Jungkook had spoken to you. You felt like all of this was your fault, sending him mixed signals and unsure of your own feelings for him. From the secretive finger fuck to the gentle kiss you shared last week, Jungkook was on your mind 24/7âaside from taking exams of courseâbut he was all you could think about lately. Growing up, you obviously loved Jungkook and was practically glued to his hip, but even then you donât recall thinking about him every single fucking second.
You pull at the roots of your hair and let out a frustrated groan. Maybe you should reach out? After all, without your initiation of friendship all those years ago, you wouldnât be here now.
You pick up your phone and find Jungkookâs contact and before you can stop yourself, you tap the call button. Your hands are clammy and you know he probably wonât answer, but itâs worth a try. The line rings for about thirty seconds before it goes dead. That dumbass doesnât even have voicemail set up.
Pissed off even more, you slam your phone against the coffee table and let out an exasperated âfuckâ before going to your room to take a nap. Fuck Jeon Jungkook, is the last thought you have before you drift off into sleep.
_____
Taehyung picked you up at 8:02, though you told Jennie it was Namjoon who picked you up and the two of you were having a night in. You think she believed it but left her before she could ask anymore questions.
âI just donât fucking get it Taehyung, one second heâs fine and another heâs like a child throwing a fit,â you filled Taehyung in on how you tried to call him but to no avail.
âYou donât have to tell me how he is Y/N, I fucking live with the guy,â he groans from his drivers seat. âI just think heâs going through a lot right now⌠with school, his parents, the boxing, you⌠heâs never handle stress that well you know that.â
You let out a sigh, leaning against the window, âItâs just so frustrating trying to help him only to get cut off like thisâŚâ
Taehyung looks at you with an eyeful glance though you donât notice. âY/N, in his eyes youâve cut him off too, you do realize that right?â
You furrow your eyebrows. âWhat? No I havenât?â
âCome on the little brat canât keep his mouth shut. I know what happened with you two a couple weeks ago,â he says. You donât say anything, cheeks getting warm. âAnd the weeks before that on our fucking balconyââ
âOkay what then Tae!â You interrupt him, too embarrassed by the memory.
âJungkook is trying Y/N,â he says with a hint of a smirk, âHe thinks youâre rejecting him,â Taehyung says matter-of-factly.
âRejecting? Câmon Taehyung you know that Iââ
âI know that you and Jungkook like each other, even though neither one of you have said anything, Jennie says it too.â
You narrow your eyebrows at your friend. âI donât know what I think about Jungkook okay?â Youâre being honest. You know you like Jungkook⌠but youâre scared of what that entails for the future. You want Jungkook in your future, you just donât know what the right path is.
Taehyung doesnât say anything else as he pulls his car into a fairly full parking garage. Itâs dimly lit and slightly freaks you out. Taehyung had to drive to the other side of the city to get here and you donât recognize the neighborhood around.
âStay close to me, alright?â Taehyung opened your door for you and you nod without any argument. You follow Taehyung out of the parking garage into the chilly air and you huddle by his side. The two of you walk down a couple streets before he turns down a dark, dimly lit alleyway.
âTaehyung what the fuck,â you whisper and come to a halt. His brown eyes bleed into yours despite the darkness and he takes your hand into his.
âItâs okay,â he says reassuringly, âI promise.â
You nod reluctantly and the you continue to walk down the alley, coming to a stop at the end where you spot the familiar face of Min Yoongi. Heâs standing down a small flight of stairs beneath you two and he greets Taehyung with a stiff smile.
âTaehyung, whatâs up,â he says, his eyes immediately looking over at you, âY/N?â
You tighten your grip around Taehyungâs hand, Yoongiâs stare quite intimidating.
âShe should be on Jungkookâs list.â
You stay quiet knowing Taehyung doing the talking is the best strategy. Yoongi looks down at a clipboardâold fashioned but effective you guessâbefore nodding.
âYou guys are good. Hurry and find a seat, thereâs a lot of people down here tonight.â Â
âYou got it,â Â Taehyung gives him a small smile before you drag behind him down the stairs and enter through a heavy door. You already hear plenty of commotion as you enter a huge space a few feet from the door. Your eyes look around and you could see nearly a hundred people just in your line of sight.
âHoly shit,â Taehyung says.
âWhat?â You get nervous by his tone.
âIâve never seen this many people here, goddamn.â
âWhy are there so many people here?â You spot a large boxing ring, dead center of the room and your mouth goes dry.
âI guess people like rematches?â Taehyung raises an eyebrow at you.
âWhereâs Jungkook?â You ask, noticing how some eyes are staring at you, making you shift uncomfortably in your boots.
âProbably in the locker rooms⌠wanna see him?â He asks.
You bite your lip. âDoes he wanna see us?â You hope Taehyung says yes. Itâs killing you inside not being able to see him, hear him.
âGuess weâll find out, câmon,â he smirks and you follow him closely. As you look around, you do notice people you somewhat recognize. Whether itâs from walking around on campus or some of your classes, all these faces are not too unfamiliar. Taehyung takes you away from the crowd of people, through another set of doors and down another hallway. With this much walking and standing, you would have worn something other than booties. You enter the âlocker roomâ area and you suddenly feel queasy. What if Jungkook is mad that youâre here? What if he doesnât want to see you after all? What ifâ
âY/N?â Your thoughts are broken by a honey-like voice and you focus in on the source. Jungkook sits a few feet away from you and Taehyung, back leaning against a wall. He looks confused, but also pleasantly surprised. âWhat are you doing here?â He gets up and does the unexpectedâhe embraces you in a tight hug. You return it without a second though, holding him close to you. He pulls away from you after a few moments and gives Taehyung a small hug too.
âHey,â you say shyly.
âHow are you feeling?â Taehyung asks his friend and Jungkook shrugs.
âIâm alright.â Jungkook looks at you again. âI didnât think youâd ever come to one of these,â he laughs awkwardly.
âMe either,â you say with no expression. As much as you wanted to be happyâyou couldnât. You were pissed at Jungkook for ignoring you and you were pissed that Jungkook was about to fight. You eye his frame, a white t shirt and navy sweatpants hang low on his hips. He looks calm, too calm for your liking.
âWill you give us a minute?â Jungkook suddenly turns to Taehyung and he nods glancing at you.
âIâll get some seats.â
Taehyung leaves you and Jungkook alone and you nearly feel like crying. What the fuck is this mess?
âY/N listen to me,â Jungkook says stepping towards you, âIâm so sorry about thess past two weeks. I-Iâve been a dick for no fucking reason and itâs not fair to you.â
You donât say anything as you stand there with your arms crossed over your chest.
âFuck I know Iâm idiot and thereâs no excuse⌠Iâve just been so stressed lately and youâre the best fucking part of my dayââ
âWell why donât you fucking act like it Jungkook? Iâm sick of something happening between us and you acting like a I donât exist for god knows what reason,â you raise your voice slightly.
âY/N I,â he pauses, his hands finding their way to your shoulders, âI havenât been honest with you and,â he pauses again and you feel your heart speed up. Whatâs he talking about? âI just wanna sayââ
âJungkook, you got five minutes,â the two of you turn to Park Jimin who seemed to come in at the wrong time.
âFuck,â he says, âWeâll talk after okay?â
You nod hesitantly and before you can push yourself away from him, Jungkook places a kiss on your forehead and it makes your insides melt. Fuck, you meet his brown eyes, biting your lip nervously.Â
A revelation springs into your mind;Â you think you might love him. He pulls you in for another hug, though this is one much shorter as Jimin is ushering you out of the locker room in the blink of an eye.
As much as you wanted to be mad at Jungkook, those thoughts had quickly subsided and replaced with butterflies and nausea. Did you really love Jungkook? You always have, but the feeling in the pit of your heart is pulling you to a different type of love. You cared about him, sometimes even more than yourself. Youâve always wanted the best for him, even if that meant sacrificing your feelings in the process. Now you were stuck between a rock in a hard place, much like you were back in high school when you had a crush on Jungkook. Fuck. And now you have to watch him fight someone like dogs, Â
You shake yourself from your thoughts, as loud music flows through your ears and you look around for Taehyung. Luckily, his ashy hair color is easy to spot amongst the crowd and you push yourself to him, squeezing in between bodies and their chatter.
âMy betâs on Jeon,â a voice says.
âFuck no, Eric isnât gonna let the same guy beat him twice.â
You try to ignore the snide comments about Jungkook and when you get to Taehyung, he greets you with a smile.
âHey, everything good?â He asks.
You lick you dry lips, âI donât know,â you say honestly. Taehyungâs eyes drop and he nods.Â
Suddenly, all the lights go out in the venue and a roar of screams and cheers fills the void. You stay still, pressing your body close to Taehyung. Itâs not that you feel unsafe, but this environmentâit wasnât for you at all. You heart rate quickens when a man, give a few years on your age, gets into the boxing ring before you, the crowd cheering even louder for him. He bumps a microphone with his palm before bringing it to his mouth.
âWelcome, welcome!â He beams with a smile, âWhat an outstanding turnout we have tonight! You guys choose a good one to watch because tonight is the rematch of two of the best fighters Iâve seen in a long timeâŚâ
âLetâs give a welcome to our first fighter, weighing in at 148 pounds, 5 foot 11, Jeon Jungkook!â
Being an underground fighting ring, there isnât a posse escorting Jungkook to the ring. Heâs got Jimin by his left side, Min Yoongi on the right. Jungkook is shirtless, wearing only a pair of navy shorts, black and white boxing gloves on his hands. He enters the ring with cheers and you inhale and exhale deeply. You look up at Taehyung and he gives you a nod of reassurance to calm down. Jungkook jumps around in place a few times, shaking his arms and shoulders out. From your seat, you canât read his eyes or facial expressionâbut he looks calm and unnerved.
âComing in next, weighing in at 145 pounds, 6 feet tall, Kim Eric!â
Jungkookâs opponent walks in next, three guys surrounding him. He walks slow and steady, his bare chest tattooed beautifully, his boxing gloves a dark red. He enters the ring to cheers and this Eric guyâs gaze doesnât leave Jungkookâs body one time. Jungkook hasnât spared one glance at the guy and you find yourself somewhat smiling. Jungkook has always been a cocky-fuck when itâs come to sports which would usually annoy you, but here right nowâhe looked hot as fuck standing there as if he had no care in the world. Jungkook stands on the left corner of the ring, sitting on a small stool as Jimin and Yoongi talk to him. Jungkook nods, absorbing their information. Eric and his guys do the same.
Suddenly, both men stand and Jimin is putting a mouth guard in Jungkookâs mouth and with one last nod, he finally looks over at Eric, who has already made his way to the center of the ring with the announcer. Jungkook stalks over slowly, his eyes dark and hungry.
âAlright guys, I want a clean fight. No kicking, no cheap shots. If you get knocked down, I give you ten seconds to get up. You look me in the eyes and say youâre good before anymore fighting happens alright. We go for five rounds, unless more is needed. A knockout wins. Touch gloves.â
Jungkook sticks out his gloves for Eric but Eric only stares at him, ignoring the sign of solidarity.
âFuck you,â Eric says to Jungkook and sends a chill down your spine. Jungkook rolls his eyes, backing away from him, but stays silent.
âAlright⌠ready⌠fight!â
Time slows as a bell rings loudly, the cheers get even louder, and you find yourself gripping Taehyungâs arm for support. Jungkook starts to move around the ring slowly, but Eric isnât having thatâimmediately rushing to Jungkook to get a few jabs in. Jungkook manages to dodge them perfectly before Eric can corner him. Jungkook keeps his gloves high and never looks away from Eric. Eric comes after Jungkook again, jabbing onceâtwiceâthe third time hitting Jungkook square in the face.
âShit,â you breathe out, eyes widening.
This time, Jungkook comes for Eric, his jabs coming quick and calculated, landing Eric in the body once. Jungkook jabs again and hits him in the face. Eric moves around quickly, Jungkook not quick to follow him. Eric comes after him again, Jungkook blocking his jabs, but missing at the end, leading to Jungkook getting hit in the face once again as well as a body shot.
Eric is coming in hot, throwing punches and jabs left and right, making Jungkook dance around to dodge them. After a few moments, Jungkook begins to fight back, landing Eric square in the face twice. You notice that Jungkook must have busted Ericâs lip as blood now protrudes from his mouth. This seems to send Eric into overdrive and attacks Jungkook quick and fast. You cover your mouth when Eric has Jungkook trapped against the rope, landing body punches after body punches.
âAlright!! Enough, break it up!!â The announcer gets Eric off of Jungkook and Eric starts to laugh in a very showman's way. Jungkook is breathing heavy and he tilts his headâa habit of his that comes out when heâs frustrated or angry. This seems to be both.
Jungkook and Eric continue to throw jabs at one another. Within a few seconds, the whole fight seems to change as Eric manages to slip past one of Jungkookâs blocks and lands him straight on the cheekbone. Jungkookâs body almost freezes before he falls back on the floor and you gasp at the sight.
âFuck! Taehyungââ
âHeâs fine, heâs fine,â he says but his eyes never met yours.
The announcer is on the floor with Jungkook counting down from ten and Jungkook finally sits up when he reaches the number four.
âYou good son?â The guy asks Jungkook.
He nods, âYeah, letâs go.â
Jungkook gets up and walks around, stretching his neck around, waiting for the ref to announce the second round.
âThatâs what you get motherfucker,â Eric says walking past him to his corner. Again, Jungkook says nothing before sitting down. Jimin takes out his mouth guard and lets Jungkook drink some water.
âWhy is Jungkook letting him hit him like that?!â You ask Taehyung, looking up to him, âHeâs getting his ass kicked!â
Taehyung shakes his head, âJungkookâs smart Y/N⌠heâs trying to run Ericâs energy out. If Eric keeps swinging the way he right now, heâll be passed out on his own soon.â
The second round commences and this time, itâs Jungkook who comes out fast. Jungkook soon has Eric trapped against the rope, landing jab after jab. The ref intervenes and lets them get some air. Jungkookâs skin is sweaty and red hot and you donât think youâve ever seen him look as mad as he does right now.
Eric counters quickly, catching up with Jungkook again, landing punch after punch. Jungkook escapes but Eric sticks out a foot, causing Jungkook to trip. The whole crowdâyourself includedâstart to yell at the action. The referee pulls Eric back and points his finger at him. You canât hear what heâs saying, but you know itâs a scolding by the way his mouth is moving quickly. You look over at Jungkook who shakes his head disapprovingly. Heâs talking to Jimin as Yoongi cares to a cut on Jungkookâs eyebrow.
âHeâs a fucking asshole,â you make out Jungkook saying.
The third round starts and it seems both Eric and Jungkook are equally fighting this time. Jungkookâs combinations are cleaner than Ericâs, anyone can see that, but the way Eric keeps landing in on Jungkookâmakes you feel like this isnât going to end well for him.
âCome on Jungkook!â You find yourself yelling in the chaos, your whole body shaking as Jungkook dances around the ring to get away from Eric. Eric has him trapped again, but with Jungkookâs strength, gets Eric off of him to turn the tables. Thereâs sweat and blood coming off both fighters and itâs got to be the most horrifying thing youâve ever seen.
âCome on you little bitch,â Eric spits at Jungkook, âIs that all youâve fucking got?â
Jungkook says nothing again, jabbing when he needs to.
âFucking hell why wonât you speak to me you fucker?â Eric speaks again.
âI donât have shit to say to you,â Jungkook finally retorts back. âYou lost my respect when you sent those pussies to jump Park and I.â
Eric swings hard and Jungkook ducks, barely missing it by an inch. Eric is tired, Jungkook too, but Jungkook can see a weakness in him now.
âCome on it was all in good fun,â he says with a smirk, âYou know what else would be good fun?â
Jungkook doesnât say anything.
âKicking your ass,â he pauses and before Jungkook can do anything else, Eric swings down hard, landing on Jungkookâs body knocking the breath out of him. Jungkook stumbles backwards, holding his stomach, he lands again on the ground with a clunk. Eric stands over him, before taking out his mouthpiece, âAnd stealing your bitch you invited tonight.â
âGoddammit,â you mutter watching the scene unfold in front of you. No one knows what theyâre saying to each other over the noise and you honestly couldnât care. You just want Jungkook to get up and finish this shit.
Jungkook stands up, though with a visible wince in his face. Heâs breathing heavy and is filled with pure rage. The fourth bell rings and it doesnât take long for Jungkook to attack him. Jungkook is fast and furious, landing punch after punch and youâve never been happier for someone to get their ass kicked. Jungkook lands a punch straight across the face, causing Eric to stumble backwards. Even though you know nothing about boxing, Eric looks exhausted where Jungkook looks ready for more. With everything left in Eric, he starts coming after Jungkook. Jungkook blocks until he canât block no more, but something in Jungkookâs stance changes. Jungkook steps forward, his right hand landing straight on Ericâs face cause his form to break. Jungkook steps quickly again, his left hand bringing an uppercut to Ericâs jaw.
The room nearly falls silent as Eric loses balance, going down straight on his back and head. When he hits the ground, the room erupts in a roar so loud it nearly deafens you.
âHoly shit!â Taehyung exclaims. The ref is down on the ground, counting down from 10, and then itâs at 5 and then 3 and thenâ
âLadies and gentlemen, Jeon Jungkook wins this rematch!â The ref grabs Jungkookâs hand and holds it up over his head and you find yourself jumping up and down, pulling Taehyung down for a hug.
âTaehyung oh my fucking god!â You exclaim. He smiles brightly at you.
âI told you, he knows what heâs doing,â he says and you nod. You couldnât deny it nowâas stupid as Jungkook was for getting involved in this, his talent for the sport was extraordinary. âCome on, letâs get to his locker room,â Taehyung pulls you by your hand and you make your way back to where you were earlier.
Jungkook hasnât arrived yet, but you find Yoongi already in there, setting out a first aid kit.
âHey guys,â he says, âGreat fight, huh?â
âYeah, it was brilliant,â Taehyung says. The door opening catches your attention and Jungkook walks through with Jimin. Â Your eyes instantly meet and you canât even stop yourself from running to him and throwing your arms around him. He exhales deeply with a sharp wince, returning your bone crushing grip with his own.
âAlright lovebirds, he needs to get fixed up,â Yoongiâs voice interrupts you two. You hesitantly let him go and he sits down in front of Yoongi, sitting forward on his knees. Heâs still breathing heavy, dripping sweat everywhere.
âFucking hell Jungkook, since when do you box southpaw?â Taehyung pushes his shoulder slightly and Jungkook only laughs as Yoongi wipes away the blood on his eyebrow.
âIâve been working on it for awhile,â he says, âJust never had the right time to use it⌠until tonight at least,â he says giving you a glance. âEric is all talk, no bite. I canât fucking stand him.â
âWell, I donât think youâll be boxing him again anytime soon,â Jimin says, âHeâs embarrassed himself twice now.â
âYeah, agreed,â Yoongi chimes in, placing one of those bandaids that pull the skin together like stitches above Jungkookâs eyebrow. âNo one will want to box you now knowing you can southpaw.â
Jungkook looks at you and you furrow your eyebrows at him. He said he wasnât going to fight after this, but the way they are talkingâit sounds as if he is.
âWell, I think my boxing career is probably over after tonight,â Jungkook speaks up as if he could read your mind. He tears his eyes away from you as the others look confused.
âWhat?!â
âWhy?â
âJungkook câmon!â
âGuys,â he breathes out, âI made a promise, okay? Besides, I have enough money now, I donât need anything else.â
Your features soften as you listen to his words. His promise was to you. A smile grows on your face as you watch his body calm down from his intensified state. Once Yoongi is finished, he packs everything up. The five of you talk amongst yourselves before Taehyung turns to you.
âYou ready to go home?â He asks.
âI can take you home,â Jungkook says before you can answer.
âOkay,â you give him a small smile that he returns.
âOkay then, Iâm gonna head out, I wonât be home tonight Jungkook,â he says.
âI know I know, at your girlfriends,â Jungkook swats his hand and Taehyung flips him off before leaving.
Jungkook stands up throwing on a shirt and slipping into Birkenstocks. âCome on,â he says to you, holding out his head. You gladly take it and it feels more like home than home ever has.
_____
âFuck Jungkook, how much money is this?â You ask him as he hands you a white envelope as he unbuckles himself in the driver seat. The envelope is thick and you peak out of curiosity, your jaw dropping.
âI told you,â he says snatching it back from you, âAs much food as Iâve bought you lately, hopefully this will last.â
You swat at his sarcastic comment before letting out a laugh. Instead of going home, you asked Jungkook to go anywhere but there. Youâre parked outside of his apartment complex, which was fine with you. The two of you needed to talk. Not much talking goes on as a silence falls between you two.
âY/N.â
âJungkook.â
The two of you laugh as you speak at the same time.
âYou first,â you say, turning your body to face him fully.
He takes a deep breath before speaking, âI know I said it earlier but I really am sorry about this past week. Thereâs not an excuse that justifies me acting like a complete dick to you, especially when youâve been nothing but nice to me.â
You stay quiet, unsure of what to say.
âAnd when I said youâre the best part of my day⌠I fucking mean it. Iâm sorry for coming onto you like I have, I just,â he doesnât finish, his eyes looking everywhere but you.
âJungkook,â you get his attention again, reaching over the console to grab his hand, âDonât apologize for that. Yeah, youâve been a dick each time something happens between us but thatâs the apology I care about.â
âI just donât know how to say it,â he mutters, caressing your hand gently.
âSo youâre really not going to box anymore?â you inquire. Jungkook was good, more than good... it couldnât be easy giving up on that.Â
He shakes his head, âNo. I told you I didnât want you worrying about me anymore. I keep my promises,â his smile his sweet and you swear your feel yourself melting more and more into his touch.Â
âJungkook,â you let out a deep sigh, âI didnât realize how much I needed you in my life until we became friends again. You know almost everything about me and I donât want anyone else to ever take your placeâŚâ
Itâs hanging there by a threadâthe words on your tongueâand youâre not sure you can say them and they feel constrictingâbut you know you have to andâ
âI love you,â the words come from your mouth and you feel like you could puke. âI donât know when or why, but Iâm in love with you Jungkook. Youâre all I think about anymore and I donât want anyone else when youâre right here.â
Jungkook parts his mouth, staring at you with a look you canât read. Fuck, you fucked this up for sure.
âShitâI know that was so rushed and stupid. Fuck Iâm an idiotââ
âY/N,â Jungkookâs voice interrupts you and you try to hide within your own body from embarrassment. With your hand of yours in his, he pulls on it, forcing you closer to him. You look at him wide eyed before he presses his lips against yours firmly. As usual, his lips feel so good and you melt into him. This is good right? What the hell is going on? You pull away from him after a few moments, an unsure look on your face.
He nuzzles his nose against your own before speaking, âIâve wanted to tell you that since the night of our graduation.â
âReally?â You ask as you feel your palms sweat, heart racing.
He nods, âIâve been in love with you for god knows how long now.â
A smile creeps upon your face and you let out a sigh of relief. Jungkook watches you with interest, tucking some of your hair behind your ear.
âI can take you home whenever,â he says quietly.
Youâre quick to shake your head,  âNo, itâs okay⌠I can stay, if you want,â your voice trails off and you suddenly feel shy under his gaze.
You donât notice how Jungkook bites his lip but he does say, âYeah. Of course.â
_____
Jungkookâs apartment is how you remember it, though a lot quieter without Taehyung here. Youâre sure the reason Jungkookâs apartment is spotless is because of him. He has always been clean and organized and Taehyung⌠well he was Taehyung.
âIâm gonna get in the shower, my room is in here if you wanna chill,â Jungkook says and you give him a small nod. He rids his shirt before he even closes the bathroom door and it makes you gulp. This is new territory for the both of you. The two of you just admitted your love for one another and youâre about to spend the night with Jungkook? And not in a friend way? Jesus Christ you could be tripping.
You walk into Jungkookâs room and it smells just like him. His bed is neatly made and his desk is sprawled with two computer monitors and some notebooks from school. His walls are decorated as youâd expectâa Korean flag hanging, a âSaturdayâs Are For The Boysâ flagâtypicalâand a few Beta Tae Sigma plaques scattered. What catches your eye is a wall of neatly lined photos taped to the wall. You look around at all of them with a smile. Most of them are Jungkook and his frat brothers, Taehyung, a few of his older brother, thereâs even a picture of you, him, Taehyung, and Jennie from high school. One that catches your eye the most is one of just you and him. Itâs an old picture but the memories from that day flood your mind. It was from your first week of freshman year here at university. Both of your smiles are wide and you two are hugging each otherâs frames closely. Jennie took the picture you remember. It makes you smile to yourself, butterflies entering in your stomach. Did you love Jungkook then and didnât know it? The way youâre looking at him in the picture would say so.
You suddenly feel an urge to be close to him again. Youâve never been a ballsy person but as you look back at the bathroom door thatâs closed, your desire to be touched again by Jungkook again overwhelms your senses. Closing your eyes briefly, you donât need much more convincing before your stripping yourself of your jacket and shoes. You kick off your jeans and sweater, leaving you only in your undergarments. You tip toe to the bathroom, grabbing the handle, opening it easy.
The shower water is loud and thereâs steam in the small quarters. Jungkook is humming to himself as you start to take off the rest of your clothing. With a deep breath, you grab the shower curtain, pulling it back. Jungkookâs back is facing you but he hears you instantly.
âShit Y/N you scarââ he stops mid sentence as he takes in your naked frame getting in the shower too.
âHi,â you mumble meeting his eye contact. Â
âH-hey,â he nearly chokes on his own air, trying to keep his eyes up from your breasts.
âScooch,â you smirk at him to move to get underneath the water too. He does as you say watching you curiously. Youâre in the process of wetting your hair when his chest is pressed firmly against your back.
âThis wasnât expected,â he says into your ear, his hands moving to grip your waist from behind.
âYouâre the one that wanted me to go home with you,â you say giving him an innocent glance over your shoulder. He laughs biting his lip, pressing them against the skin behind of your ear. You lean into the physical contact, feeling almost all of your stress go away instantly.
You spin around to look at him fully as itâs a frenzy whose mouth collides with whose. He leans down to grasp your lips in their entirety, pulling you closer to him than you ever have been. He pulls you away from the water so it doesnât get in your face as he presses you against the shower wall. His tongue dips in and out of your mouth, his hands free roaming over your breasts and down to your ass, whatever he likes within the moment. Your hands grip his dark locks as he moves his mouth from your mouth, to your neck, down to your chest. He waste no time taking your right nipple in his mouth and you exhale deeply at the feeling.
You pull his face back to yours, kissing him again not able to get enough of his lips. His hands trail down from your ass to the front of your thighs, getting closer and closer to your wet center.
âIs this okay?â He asks as his fingers rub slowly back forth between your entrance. You can barely speak as his touch is setting you on fire but you manage to nod.
âYes, please, Jungkook,â you say. He enters one finger, then another stretching you out nicely. Fuck you forgot how good this felt with him.
âFuck youâre so wet,â he breathes heavily and you glance down at his hardening cock. Your mouth waters at the sight. Jungkook lifts one of your legs and starts to take his fingers in and out of you slowly and agonizing. He fingers you deep and rough and you can already feel a climax coming.
âShit,â you croak out as Jungkook rubs one of your nipples, kissing your neck. Thereâs a pain at the back of your head at his force pushing you against the wall but itâs easy to ignore when it feels so good below your waist. âJungkook, Iâm gonna come,â you say as the snap inside of you is about to break.
âCome on baby,â his voice is deep and groggy. As if on cue, you feel your climax wash over you and youâre not shy to be loud. You know no one is here so it doesnât bother you one bit. Jungkook kisses you against feverishly as he pulls his fingers from you. You feel impossibly empty but you know what you want to do and youâre not near anywhere tired. Your hands travel down to his front, grasping his hard dick in your hands. God, heâs so big.
âOh fuck,â Jungkook seethes through his teeth as you pull on the sensitive skin, all the way from his pubic hair down to the tip. He places a hand beside of your head, leaning forward against your forehead. His eyes are shut tightly and you lick your lips, wanting to take him in your mouth.
You push him away from you slightly and move down to your knees, your face front and center with his beautiful dick. You take no time to put him in your mouth which causes Jungkook to groan loudly.
âY/N,â he says looking down at you. Heâs never seen a better sight. You make sure to keep eye contact as you bob your head up and down his shaft. While one of Jungkookâs hands stays against the wall, his other grips your hair, fisting it into a makeshift ponytail. âOh fuckâHe pulls on your hair and it only makes you want to please him more. Your left hand go to his balls, the right helping you up and down his length. He pulls your hair again and you take as much of him as you can. His tip reaches the back of your throat and you gag around his length and Jungkook thinks he could actually cry. Watching you through half open lids, he decides this isnât how he is going to comeânot tonight at least.
He grabs your hair and pulls you away from him and youâre slightly confused when he brings you to your feet.
âCome on, I need to be inside of you,â he says and you nod eagerly as he turns off the shower. He leads you out of the bathroom in a frenzy, pulling up into his bedroom. You shut the door behind you and he pins you against it, kissing you hard and deep.
Both of you are dripping wet but neither of you care to dry off as he carries you to his bed. You settle on his lap as his hands rest on your waist tightly. Your hands grip his face just as tight but youâre careful not to touch his injury above his brow. You couldnât believe he was just fighting two hours agoâthat seemed like forever ago compared to now. A lot can change in a short period of time and it makes you slightly chuckle against his mouth. Â
âWhat?â He breaks the kiss asking you with a hazy grin.
You shake your head, âNothing,â you smile pushing his hair from his forehead. You liked seeing it. âI love you,â you repeat. And you probably wonât stop, ever.
âI love you too,â he says, âSo much.â
âLet me ride you,â you whisper in his ear and his eyes light up like a child. âAre you clean?â You ask him.Â
He nods quickly, âYou?â You nod in response and both of you feel excited and anxious.Â
You rub your hand against his length again and you hold it up as you adjust yourself to sit on him. As soon as his tip enters you, a shiver runs down your spine. As you sink yourself lower, groans come from both of your mouths, a deep moan erupting from you when you bottom out.
âOh my god,â you breathe in and out to control yourself.
âRide me baby,â he says and you start to move your hips against his. He fills up every inch of you and it feels so good. Your hips lift away from his and he chases them with his own thrusts. He kisses your neck as you throw your head back, your hands digging into his shoulders for leverage. Â
âFuck Jungkook,â you say seeing stars in your eyes, âYou feel so good,â you whine.
âYou have no idea,â he says against your sticky skin, one of his hands bruising into your waist helping you ride him in a fluid motion. âGoddammit,â he says.
As you grind against him, your clit rubs against his pubic hair, sending your toes curling. He senses that youâve found your sweet spot against him and places his thumb there instead to rub the sensitive bud.
You feel yourself inching closer and closer to a second climax when Jungkook stalls your motion.
âLay on your stomach,â he breathes and you do as he says climbing off of him quickly. He doesnât even give you time to get there all the way before heâs grabbing your hips to pull your ass to him. He slides right into you and you nearly scream into his mattress. Your hands grip the sheets as he fucks you deeper from behind. He smacks your ass once, twice sending a loud whine from your mouth.
âFuck, fuck, fuck,â you mutter trying to focus on Jungkookâs whines and small ministrations from his mouth. He reaches forward, rubbing your clit again and you want to die and go to heaven at the feeling. Neither of you try to be quiet anymore as you feel the second orgasm coming over you. You clench and unclench around Jungkookâs length as he stalls his thrusts to feel the action.
âCome inside of me,â you say, knowing both of you are clean and you have an IUD.
âJesus,â he breathes, picking up his pace again chasing after his own high. As the sensitivity becomes too much, Jungkook finally lets go, coming deep inside of you. He holds your hips close against him, trying to deepen his climax as far as possible. The hot cum inside of you feels good and you moan at the feeling.
When Jungkook finishes completely in you, he pulls out with a sigh. You collapse against the bed, completely spent. Jungkook finds a clean rag in his pile of clean laundry and is quick to clean yourself and him up. You feel like you can barely move as Jungkook joins you in his bed. He turns you over to face him and he kisses you gently which you return happily.
âI love you,â he says for the third time tonight, kissing your nose.
âI love you too,â you entangling your legs together. The room is silent apart from your breathing and youâre about to go to sleep when he nudges you with his hand. Â
âCome on,â he says.
âWhat?â You ask.
âLetâs actually take a shower now since someone wouldnât let me,â he eyes you with accusation.
You squint at him before flipping him off. âFuck off.â
_____
The next morning you wake up with Jungkook hugging you from behind, his face nuzzeled in your hair. You have no clue what the time may be, but you since itâs early by the way the birds chirp out the window. You stretch out your arms as best as you could and try to move your legs, but it doesnât work since Jungkookâs heavy legs are tangled with your own. Youâre tempted to fall back asleep but when Jungkook moves behind you, you turn to see his ruckus. Youâre met with his brown eyes and you jump slightly, not expecting to see him awake. Both of you let out the faintest of laughs, not saying anything.
Jungkook leans over and kisses your lips, âGood morning.â His voice is groggy and he shuts his eyes again as you fully turn your body to his.
âGood morning,â you respond, watching the way his chest rises and falls gently. âHowâd you sleep?â
âHmm, really good,â he mumbles. You are about to join him in closing your eyes again until a loud rumble comes from your belly. Jungkook laughs.
âHungry much?â
âStarving,â you groan, âI didnât eat dinner last night.â
âWhy not?â
âI was too nervous before your match⌠I thought I would yak if I ate,â you answer. Stupid, you know, but it was your train of thought last night.
He opens his eyes again, âLetâs go to the diner for breakfast⌠employee discount.â
You glare at him, âIs that all I am to you? A fucking employee discount,â you say saracastically.
âAnd my girlfriend if that helps?â He raises an eyebrow. Your cheeks heat up and you smile.
âWelllll, since my boyfriend is rich now and gets a discount, Iâm assuming heâs paying.â
He smirks, âObviously.â
âWill you take me to my place so I can change? And then weâll go?â
He nods, his hand caressing the side of your body, âAs much as I wanna stay in bed, I could really go for pancakes right now.â
âWaffles are superior,â you remark.
He frowns with a disgusted face, âGet the fuck out of my bed you heathen.â
_____
Jungkook insisted on coming up to your apartment with you because he didnât want to wait in the car, but you know he just wants to see you change in front of him. Boys are all the fucking same.
As you fumbled with the key, the door opens and whatever Jungkook is saying to you is suddenly drowned out when you seeâ
âJennie?â
âTaehyung?â
The names leave yours and Jungkookâs mouth as you watch the scene in front of you. Jennie is sitting on the counter, Taehyung in between her legs with a coffee cup in hand. Could be worse but what the fuck is going on?!
âShit,â Jennie says pushing away Taehyung. âHey guys,â she smiles awkwardly. You and Jungkook look at each other confused before Jungkook speaks.
âUh, Taehyung?â He asks and Taehyung is. as red as a tomato.
âOh fuck,â Jennie mutters shaking her head. She looks at Taehyung for backup.
Taehyung pinches his nose before speaking, âUm⌠weâre dating.â
You and Jungkook have the same reaction as your mouth drops.
âJennie is your secret girlfriend?â Jungkook asks.
âSurprise,â Jennie smiles again looking at you.
You look at Jungkook and shake your head at the four of you. What a fucking clichĂŠ.
The four of you go to breakfast together that morning and itâs like old times, just with a sprinkle of something new. As long as the four of you have known each other, youâve always had each otherâs backs. Even now, with you and Jungkook and Jennie and Taehyungâyou know that would never change from here on out. Turns out, Jennie just thought her and Taehyung were friends with benefits, while Taehyung was telling everyone he had a girlfriend because he was that smitten with her. The four of you laugh at the situation at hand and you couldnât believe everyone was back together... like this. As Jungkookâs pancakes and your waffles arrive, Jungkookâs beaming smile lighting the whole room you think to yourselfâthis is how itâs supposed to be.Â
#jungkook#jeon jungkook#jungkook x reader#jungkook x you#jungkook drabble#jungkook scenario#jungkook fluff#jungkook angst#jungkook smut#bts#bts x reader#bts x you#bts drabble#bts smut#bts angst#bts fluff#bangtan#bangtan scenarios#jjk#kim namjoon#kim taehyung#park jimin#jung hoseok#min yoongi#enjoy guys!!#let me know what you think#please i'm desperate for attention lol#boxer au#college au#childhood friends to lovers
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Drug Lords
Erik!Stevens x Black!Reader
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Drug lord Erik Stevens have some dealings with his weapon supplier. He makes it known that no one is going to mess with her..
Warning: Smut, cursing, killing,Â
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(Y/N) woke up at around 2:00 in the morning, her sleep was totally off. She went to bed around 10 but for some odd reason she couldnât get to sleep. It was messing up her entire sleep schedule. She looked at her phone and saw that she had a text message from the one and only Erik Stevens. He sent a text over a little hour ago. She opened it.
Erik- you up?
She rolled her eyes. Itâs been a couple of weeks since she last talked to him. She cussed him out when one of his little hoes had the nerves to hit her phone up after getting her number, saying how she was going to beat her ass when he find out who she was.
Little did she know who she really was...
She knew why he was texting her. It was a Friday night, he was most likely drunk and wanting to have sex. Sheâs not going to lie, she wanted some dick. And Erik sure as hell knew how to deliver it. She decided to text him back.
maybe, why ?
She grabbed her phone, slipping on one of her over sized T-Shirts and walked downstairs.
At the age of 24, (Y/N) ran her own ring. She moved and sold weaponry and technology to other lords, Erik being one of them. She made a lot of money, and made quite the reputation for herself. Erik respected that.
Erik- Iâm pullin up,
She didnât text him back. She gave him a keycard to her penthouse months ago whenever he wanted to come here and lay low.
She walked into her office, walking to her safe and grabbing her pink weed jar, wraps and her lighter. She walked back to the kitchen rolling a blunt. She heard the elevator coming up, before looking and seeing him step out. He had on a dark grey Nike sweat suit, a pair of white Nike Air Forces, and a black beanie.
âWhy are you up?â he asked her placing his keys and wallet on the counter. She shrugged.
âI couldnât sleep.â
âSo you decided to roll a blunt?â he asked leaning on the counter as she nodded.
âYup, maybe this could help.â she smelled the liquor on him.
âHow you get her so fast?â she asked him as he shrugged his shoulders.
âI was on my way when you texted me back.â he said.
âWhat if I had someone over here?â she asked him tilting his head to the side as he rolled his eyes, smacking his teeth.
â(Y/N) stop fucking playing with me.â he told her as she scoffed.
âWhatever, I would offer you a drink but you seem a little tipsy.â she chuckled, bringing the blunt to her lips before lighting it. She took a breath letting the smoke fill before letting it out. Erik grabbed the blunt from her taking a puff of it, a longer  one than she.
âDamn this is good...â he coughed a bit before she tilted her head.
âSo um, why are you here?â she asked him tilting her head to the side. âItâs not very usual that Erik tries to see the girl who cussed him out.â she said drinking from her water bottle.
âWell for one, I wanted to come by and see you. Iâve been texting your phone and you have been ignoring me.â he said as she rolled her eyes.
âYeah... because Iâm mad at you. I donât need another one of your little bitches texting me.â she said in a matter of fact tone.
âBruh I said, I donât know how that bitch got into my phone, dead ass.â he said as she shook her head. âIâm being forreal. We did things a couple of months ago, Iâm guessing she thought it was something more. She was over at JJâs house while we were playing poker and I left my phone in kitchen. Iâm guessing she saw the messages.. you know actually I think she saw the video of you playing in ya pussy and thought-â she hit him in the arm as he laughing. Â
âIâm playin... but I still got that video.â he said. For some odd reason, him still having that video made her feel a little thump down there, but she couldnât let him know that.
Erik did miss her.. like a lot. Nevermind the sex, he just loved being in her presence. In being without her for the past few weeks without her had a huge tole on him.
âYeah because your a nasty ass nigga. Thatâs why.â she said taking the blunt from him, making her way back upstairs him following her. âYouâre lucky I didnât come by and shoot that bitch in her face.â
âTrust me.. you wouldâve done been doing us both a favor.â he said. âAlso, I want to make a deal with you. Word on the street you got some new weaponry, parts from Stark Industries.â she shrugged her shoulders.
âMaybe? Now that Tony is dead, government been trying to move his weapons. Straight disrespectful.â she said walking into her room. He took off his shoes and sweat shirt showing the white tank top, and his scars. âA couple of people interrupted the move, stole some equipment. Sold it on the black market, Â I got my hands on some of the equipment. It was a hefty penny though. Making sure it couldnât be tracked, tweaking it and shit. Costed me over 5 million for everything.â she said sitting on her bed taking a puff from the blunt. She was definitely starting to feel the high.
âHow much you selling it for?â
âWell, I was able to make different things with it. So, depending on what it is. The lowest price I got so far is 250k.â she said handing him the blunt. He sat down in the recliner she had in her room.
âDamn,,â
âYeah, Iâve already got people trying to do pre-orders but you know thatâs not really my thing.â she said.
âSo, will I be able to get my hands on a few.â he asked her as she laughed.
âOh, your too funny. Just like everyone else, you need to come in contact with my team. Then Iâll see if you can get some of those products.â she responded. He kissed his teeth.
âSorry, just because youâre the only client that Iâve had sex with doesnât mean you can just get to me to get access or discounts.â she said. âIf I thought with my Punani instead of my head with yâall niggas, Iâd be broker than broke. No offense.â
âYeah, you got a point.â she put the blunt on the night stand before standing up. She walked towards him, throwing her legs over him, sitting down in his lap before he leaned back placing his hands on her ass rubbing it.
âIâm guessing you missed me too.â
âYeah, I guess I missed your big headed ass.â she sighed, as he gave her ass a slap. She jumped a bit before biting his lip. He forgot that she liked that.
She felt his dick pressing on her. âWhat you want from me, huh?â he asked her as they smirked each other. His plump lips was pouted and his eyes hang low, probably feeling a little high from the blunt. All she saw was a beautiful ass man, with a face she could use as a seat.
âI wanna ride your face.â
He raised an eyebrow at her as she smiled innocently at him. His mouth started to water at the thought of her pussy in his mouth. It was crazy how sweet she tasted, especially when she came. Tasted like honey and brown sugar.
He placed his hands under ass before standing up and walking to her bed. He placed her down before looking at her. He leaned down grabbing her by the con before leaning in for a kiss. The kiss was sweet and passionate. He really wanted to show her how much he missed her.
As they kissed, his hand trailed up the shirt coming into contact with her clothed wetness. He pulled them off with both hands still kissing her. His fingers found her clot rubbing it. His fingers were cold, she shivered at the coldness and the sensitivity. She moaned into the kiss as he pulled away.
âIâm barely touching you and your already breaking.â he chuckled. He sat down beside her before taking his shoes of then pulling her into his lap and laying back. âCome set that pussy on my tongue.â without a second thought, she lifted  her shirt, letting it sit over her ass as she placed herself on his tongue. Without hesitation, Erik had his tongue deep inside of her.
He could physically feel her squeezing himself around his dick making him moan, âFuck daddy... eat my pussy just like that.â she whimpered out. He gripped her ass cheeks, squeezing one as she moaned.
She grinded her hips, riding his tongue as she threw her head back. He was trying to talk to her, but he had his mouth full.
He reached down, grabbing his dick palming it through his sweats. It was getting painful, and the restrictions of his sweatpants was not helping. She looked back and saw him touching his self before an idea popped into her head. Â
âHold up.â she lifted herself off before turning around. She hovered over his face, pulling the band from his sweatpants down. She pulled down the red and black Gucci boxers down freeing him as he winced. She looked at his dick before licking her lips. He was beautiful. Long and thick, pre cum dripping down the sides running down the veins. Within a split second, her lips wrapped around the tip, as her tongue swirled around it collecting all of his pre cum. She  moaned at the taste, he always tasted like fruit.
âFuck.. donât tease me. Put all of daddy in ya mouth.â he grunted. She followed his instructions before wrapping her hands around the base of his dick. She moved her hands slowly stroking as she sucked him.
âCâmon on daddy, keep eating my pussy..â she encouraged him as he moaned.
âFreaky ass.. I got you.â His lips wrapped her clit, sucking on it as she moaned around his dick. The feeling of giving and receiving pleasure at the same time wasnât new to her, but her first time doing it, she knew that this wasnât the last time doing it.
He was big, but she was determined to fit him all her in mouth. And she did just that. His dick was deep in her throat, she hummed in pleasure, the vibrations sent to him as he let out a deep  moan. âFuck baby girl...â he moaned as she smiled. She leaned up, stroking him while rubbing along his hard dick, her spit dripping down to his balls.
He slowly thrusted into her hand as she smirked at his desperation. Finally, she had him like putty in her hands. She lifted up off of him before kissing him. She straddled his hips, his dick slightly rubbing against her pussy, the both of them moaning. She stood up, breaking away from her as she smiled.
She pulled the T-Shirt from her body before he stood up, taking off his clothes. She got down on her knees before looking up at him, batting her eyelashes at him. âYou want daddy to fuck your throat. Huh?â he asked cupping her cheeks as she nodded. âNo, say it.â
âI want daddy to fuck my throat.. pretty please.â she begged licking the tip as he threw his head bad.
âThere you go, beg me. Open your fucking mouth.â he said. Her mouth was open and he inserted her mouth, before thrusting in and out of he mouth. She loved gagging on his dick, and she knew that he loved that sound.
He was talking, but she wasnât paying attention. She was just focused on the attack on her throat. She snuck her hands down the front, inserting a finger in her wetness before moaning, her eyes rolling back as she fingered herself.
âYeah, play with that wet ass pussy. I can hear that shit all the way from up here.â she looked up at him, holding his dick in her throat. He pulled out.
âThere is no way Iâm cumming like that.â he said before grabbing her by her face and lifting her up. He smashed his lips into her, the two of them kissing in sync. âFuck me...â she whispered. In a swift movement, Erik pushed her on the bed, as she opened up her legs.
The wetness was smeared all on her inner thighs, the center glowing with her wetness as she smirked at him. âFuck..â he grunted getting in between her legs. He kissed her, distracting her from her. He inserted her as she gasped.
âShit daddy..â she moaned. Damn she was hella tight. âFuck your too big.â she whispered throwing her head back. Erik kissed along her neck, to her chin, then placed a kissed on her lips.
âQuit all that, take this dick like a big girl. Ainât ya first time, so take it.â he said slowly stroking her. Already, she was creaming on his dick.
âMmm, daddy. Fuck me just like that.â she whimpered out as he smiled at her.
âYeah.. thatâs right. Take this dick in that tight ass pussy. Making a mess all over my dick.. disrespectful.â he grunted out. She bit down on her lip, opening her eyes meeting his. She clenched her self tighter just to get a reaction out of him. His eyes fluttered closed, as he clenched his jaw. She smirked. .
âDaddy donât slow down, that shit feels too good.â she teased him. It pissed him off how fast she was about to cum.. way too fast. And she was teasing him about it.
âCome up here ride my shit, since you wanna be all bold and shit. Hurry that ass up.â They flipped over as Erik was on his back. She sat down on his dick moaning as it hit her walls.
âShit.. just use my shit bitch. Thatâs it.â he grunted as she moaned. She was so close and he was too. Maybe it was just because of the way that they were fucking each other, or maybe it was because itâs been a minute since the last time they fucked, but the two of them were both on edge.
She leaned back opening her legs as she showing him going in and out of her. âFeels so good.â she whispered to herself.
âYeah show me all that. Just nasty..â he grunted fucking up into her. He was cumming. There was no point in stopping or trying to hold back considering he was close. And by the look and feel of the things, she was close to.Â
âDaddy... Iâma gonna-â She was interrupted by him cumming deep inside her walls. He moaned out, digging his hands in her ass as she moaned out loud. She continued fucking him, chasing her own orgasm.Â
âFuck.. fuck.â he grunted out as she continued riding him. Thatâs when she squirted all over his stomach. She fell forward, her head resting in her neck as they stayed like that for a minute.Â
âWe need to go again.. that shit was-â
âHold up.. I need to catch my breath. You know I got asthma.â she said as he laughed.Â
âYou need ya inhaler or something?â
âNah, lemme just catch my breath.â
- - - - - - - - - - -Â
(Y/N) walked into the warehouse, looking at her woman pointing their gun at the poor man. The captain of the group, Venom, had her knife to his neck.Â
Letâs just say, her team was ruthless. They were a team made of women, who handled her.. business. They were called the Mona Lisaâs. Mainly because they showed no remorse or emotion. But because the actual Mona Lisa was beautiful and mysterious, they gained that nickname. The tricked men into get information, they were amazing actresses actually. They could make somebody feel wanted and loved... and we all know how dangerous that could be.
âWho are you?âÂ
âI ainât telling you shit, bitch.â he snapped at her as she rolled her eyes.Â
âWe gonna skip that part where you try to be all tough. There is nothing stopping Venom here from slashing your throat and trust me. That would most definitely be the high light of her day.â she warned him. âActually, the highlight of her day would be torturing you until you speak.â she said matter of factly.
âWeak ass bitches, you donât scare no body.â (Y/N) looked at Venom and smirked at him.Â
âYou take your time with him. Call me when he says something.â
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(Y/N) ran a face scan through the system, to find out that he use to work for Erik. Name was Claw. Nasty and just plain annoying. After stealing money from Erik and killing one of his close friends, he was never seen again. Erik and a lot of other lords
âSo what is this surprise you got for me?â he asked him walking past her in her quarters where they did their interrogations. The entire time he was looking at her ass. They walked to the door as she turned around,Â
âLook for yourself.â He walked in the room, looking in the glass window seeing him tied to a chair, as Venom continued cutting his fingers off his one hand, piece by piece.Â
âIs that-â
âIn the flesh. I caught him trying to sneak into my warehouse where Iâm holding some of my weapons.â she said as he looked at her.Â
âI hope itâs not the-â
âItâs not the Stark ones. Those are in Alaska. But Iâm worried. Out of all my years of moving and supplying, Iâve never had someone successfully break into my warehouse. And I know the Mona Lisaâs arenât slacking because they are highly trained. I sent over a hundred of them to Alaska to protect the gear.â she said biting her acrylic thumb in nervousness. âThis idiot was dumb coming in here alone, but I know niggas. Niggas that are smarter, and I just have this deep feeling that someone is planning something to get at me.â she looked at Erik. Heâs known her for years, sheâs never really shown nervousness or being scared. He saw that she was genuinely scared. Some might say she was over thinking, but in her line of work you could never over think.
âAye calm down, I promise you I wonât let anyone get to you, ight. Even if it takes my last breath.â he reassured her. âStarting with this motherfucker. Iâm killing his ass.â he said about to walk to the door to entre the room but she stopped him.
âWait, lemme talk to him. I got a plan.â she walked into the room before walking over to her.Â
âAlright, so I know who you are.â she said as he cursed.Â
âYou knew who I was this entire time and youâve been letting this crazy bitch do this shit!â he yelled at her as (Y/N) laughed.Â
âMan, calm down. I ainât even that serious. Plus, itâs been a minute since Venom have had a little bit of fun. She deserves it.â (Y/N) smiled at Venom as Venom smirked at her.Â
âAnyways, I know that youâre working with Erik. Or use to work with him. I sent a couple of my girls over there to do.. a lil bit of damage. Kill some of his goons, injure a couple more, but Iâm keeping Erik alive.â he said as Claw shook his head.Â
âYour dumb if you did that.â
âWell, you and I both know the success rate my girls have so...â she trailed off.Â
âNo, your dumb if you think that I still work for that bum ass nigga, or Iâm trying to get in good terms with him. Fuck his bitch ass..â he said. She chuckled.Â
âWell it make sense.. I mean, you were his close friend. Right hand man. Makes since youâd try to steal my shit. I did tell my girls to make sure that Erik know your alive.â she said as his face turned to complete fear. She tilted her head to the side pouting.Â
âTell me why you tried stealing my shit.â
âI-I was doing it to have so I could sell it.â he said as she rolled her eyes. Thatâs all she wanted to hear but she still wanted to fuck with him.Â
âBull shit. Tell the truth. Either way youâre going to die whether itâs by me or by him. Why?â
âIâm telling you. I only wanted to sell it. Everyone know your work is worth billions and I-I needed some quick cash. J-Just donât tell him Iâm alive.â
âDamn,,, for him to be a bum ass nigga, you a lil scared ainât you,â she said tilting her head to the side. âAnyways he knows so..â she shrugged.Â
âN-No he doesnât. He wouldâve been here by-â she looked towards the window than looked back at him. He got the hint. The door opened and Erik walked in, the vein in forehead popping out as his jaw clenched.
âSo Iâma a bum ass nigga now?â he asked him, (Y/N) rolled her eyes. She knew his Ego was hurt. Erik looked at Venom, before smiling at her.Â
âThanks Sweetheart. Love what you did but I got it from here.â he winked at her as she smiled blushing.Â
âNo problem Erik.â she walked out as (Y/N) chuckled.Â
Venom was dangerous, well thatâs how she got her nickname. But deep down, she was a girl that blushed even at the smallest compliments. She was a sweetie, but if it came down to it, she didnât hesitate to drop a body. And she did enjoy tourtuing somebody for her enjoyment. Â
âLook Erik-â
âDonât say my name. First of all, Iâma kill you for what you did to me. But- Iâma make sure that shit is slow. Especially coming up in here fucking with her. And about that one, Iâma make sure yo ass wish you were dead.â
âWell you have your fun, let me know when everything is done so I can have someone come clean up ya mess.â she placed a kiss on his cheek before walking out.Â
She knew that Erik was gonna handle business for her, maybe heâll get a lil something for it.
- - - - - - - - - - -
Hereâs a lil fact about me, Iâm obsessed with Erik and reader being lords or mob bosses or whatever you wanna call it.Â
Taglist:
@sociallyawkward18 @raysunshine78Â
@justgetitoverwith0Â
#erik kilmonger x reader#eriksteven#erik stevens smut#erik kilmonger#erik killmonger smut#killmonger smut
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only you and me
w/c: 6.7k
warnings: angst, mentions of weed, and some swearing
summary: whenever peter tries to tell you how he feels, harry gets in the way
a/n: ahhhh hi my loves! my mini writing break is over :,) life has been just a mess for me and iâve been way more critical than usual about my work but iâm doing a little better and ready to get back into everything! this helped me a lot so iâm excited to share it with yâall <3 itâs also my first time writing harry osborn so lmk how i did lmaooofwfjj but yeah pls enjoy
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âdude, sheâs right there! just tell her!â ned whisper yells to peter, elbowing him for emphasis. theyâre hidden behind a wall to watch you at your locker. youâre grabbing books while betty rants to you and mj rolls her eyes. ânot now. she looks... busy,â peter gulps, gaze trailing down your body. he always finds excuses to put off telling you how he feels.
or rather, excuses find him. something comes up every time he gets the courage to do it. he has no idea why heâs so scared because heâs pretty sure you like him back. pretty sure. there are a few reasons why you might not. also, plenty why you might. you stay up late texting most nights, and youâve even flirted a couple of times. it never fails to make peter blush. he trips over his words whenever he tries to flirt back.
heâs had feelings for you since the first time you two hung out alone. none of your other friends could make it, but you happily took him up on his offer to come over. you grinned through his whole apartment tour, asked about may and what she does. when peter showed you his room, you even complimented his movie posters, much to his surprise.
âreally? you donât think theyâre, like, dorky?â
âno, peter. your interests arenât dorky. everyone likes what they like.â
and, he liked you. he knew it from that point on. youâd know it too if the universe wouldnât keep stopping him from saying that.
âsheâs so...â peter pauses for a second. him and ned watch you pull betty in by her shoulders as if youâre going to kiss her. she dodges you, mj pushing her back, all three of you giggling about it before you grab bettyâs hands and give her words of encouragement. âcool,â peter finishes, turning back to ned. âi mean, how she puts herself out there like that.â
âwhatâs stopping you from doing the same thing?â ned points out with a knowing smile that peter returns. you make it look so easy. whenever youâre comfortable around people, you can let go of any doubts you have. you stop worrying about what they might think and instead do what you want. itâs inspiring to peter, and heart warming getting to be one of the people youâre fully you with.
he wishes he could apply your wisdom himself.
peter shakes his head, staring down at the floor. âoh, you know. anxiety, fear of rejection. that fun stuff.â âso, yourself,â ned concludes, clapping peterâs backpack so hard it makes him stumble forward. betty and mj wave goodbye to you before heading to their first class. youâre still getting your things together at your locker. this is peterâs moment.
âcome on, dude! y/nâs not busy anymore. you got this.â ned keeps his hand on peterâs back, adding on, âitâs been a year already.â âhalf a year,â peter corrects him in a mumble. heâs liked you for a really long time. âok, iâm going. wish me luck.â he takes a deep breath and focuses in on you. âaw, dude. you donât need it.â ned gives him one last pat on the back. âgood luck, though.â âthanks, man. see you in trig.â
right as peter starts heading over, harry comes up behind you and covers your eyes. you squeal, jumping up and turning to him, laughing as you playfully hit at his chest. he brings you into a hug where your face is buried in his sweater and probably inhaling his super strong, super expensive cologne.
thatâs whatâs stopping peter, harry freaking osborn. his own friend.
peter quickly loses the tiny bit of confidence ned gave him. he figures it might be better to hold off on his confession and get an early start to class. unfortunately, it doesnât seem like thatâs going to happen. harry has already spotted him and calls him over.
âhey, pete! come give us some love, eh?â harry beams, an arm slung around your shoulders and you smiling up at him. you direct your smile to peter when he slumps his way to your locker. his lips pull into a barely noticeable frown. you notice. âthereâs my guy. why so down, sunshine?â harry offers his fist for a fist bump. peter gives it to him, eyes staying on you.
harry osborn. where to begin with such a specimen? heâs the perfect combination of everything youâd want in a guy. he gets good grades, heâs a star player on on the basketball team, nice to everyone and makes you laugh, popular yet fits right into your small group.
he was friends with you before the popular thing. what kicked it off was him making varsity basketball while only being a sophomore. yep, heâs unreal. since then, heâs been balancing his cool life and also hanging with âthe nerds,â as he likes to call you. he got his own feelings for you along the way. peter can tell.
heâll give you rides home, compliment how you look, basically act like your boyfriend without really being it. it absolutely infuriates peter because he doesnât compare to harry in the slightest. if he were you and had the choice between himself or harry, he would pick harry.
itâs been a factor in why he hasnât come clean about how he feels yet. heâs not trying to create a love triangle that he doesnât stand a chance surviving in.
âfor real, peter. you good?â you ask him, eyebrows knitted together in concern. âfine,â peter lies and musters up a smile. âiâm just tired. didnât sleep too good last night.â youâre only more concerned now. this has been happening to him a lot lately. you search for his eyes. âagain?â
âaw, man. you need something for it?â harry punches peterâs shoulder and lowers his voice. âi know this kid who-â âharry, stop.â your words are serious, tone lighthearted. you throw your head back on his arm. âdo you really know a kid?â âiâm not telling you,â he says in an overly happy voice, you humming the same way. peter feels like heâs third wheeling.
âi was telling pete.â harry looks at him expectantly, peterâs mouth dropping open while he thinks of what to say. harry likes to mess around. this is a different level, though. âno thanks. i- i shouldnât. iâm-â ârelax, i donât know a kid,â harry chuckles and points at peter. âyour face right now.â itâs completely flushed. you knock into harryâs side.
âok, well literally no one laughed. youâre scaring him,â you tell harry sternly. peter tugs tight on one of his backpack straps. he doesnât feel like heâs third wheeling you two now. he feels like your kid. heâll never let ned mettle in his love life ever again if this is where it gets him. âhe knows iâm kidding, y/n/n. right?â harry checks with peter. you make a face at him that says you arenât convinced.
he switches his arm from you to peter, drawing him into his side. âlook, pete. iâm sorry. the only kid i know whoâs selling is chocolates for his band trip.â youâre satisfied with that, grinning at both of them. peter forces a laugh and nods. âno worries, man. i gotta get to class.â âgood boy,â harry lets him go. âbye, pete. weâll see you at lunch,â you remind him. he gives you a tight lipped smile. âsee you, y/n/n.â
you and harry continue practically spooning each other as soon as peter is out of sight.
what the hell is going on?
peter is back to being grumpy, plopping down in his seat next to ned. their teacher has the lesson plan pulled up on the smart board. ned looks from it to peter, almost jumping in his seat. âoh, youâre back already? howâd it go?â âit didnât go,â peter huffs, copying down the aim. heâs only doing it so he doesnât have to look ned in the eyes while telling him he bailed. again.
âyou didnât do it?â ned repeats, peter writing something about pi and a unit circle in his notebook. he bites the inside of his cheek. âyou have to do it at some point,â ned sighs out and picks up his pencil. even heâs getting tired of this, and ned never gets tired of a good friends to lovers moment. âi think she likes harry,â peter says under his breath. âhuh?â ned gasps.
peter doesnât feel like explaining the extremely awkward moment he just finished living. although, it wouldnât hurt to get a second opinion. ây/n. he came over, and they kept hugging and whatever.â âthey always do that,â ned almost scoffs, their trigonometry teacher moving to stand in front of the class. âyeah, but he had his arm around her the whole time we-â
the bell rings and cuts their conversation short. peter struggles to label the unit circle they learn about when his mind is filled to its capacity with images of you and harry all over each other. itâs not daydreaming. this is a nightmare. maybe, he actually will be having sleep problems.
peterâs morning is relatively decent after that. he gets to do an experiment with mj in chemistry, and she lets him take the lead for once. spanish is easy, health is okay, then he has a free period, then itâs lunch. things can only go downhill from here.
he thinks about hiding in the library until itâs over, but itâs the thought of harry eating your face that gets him to drag himself to the cafeteria.
flash is at the head of your table talking to harry when peter gets there. great, now he canât eat his soggy chicken fingers in peace. âsounds dope. letâs go on the-â flash stops saying what he was saying and nods at peter. âpenis parker, youâre late.â peter takes his seat on your left, harry on your right. you glance over at him to make sure heâs okay. he acts like he doesnât care, peeling open his milk carton.
âjust text me later, man. get outta here,â harry dismisses flash, the two of them doing a bro handshake before he leaves. heâs well aware of his and peterâs history. he keeps them separate for the obvious reasons. peter appreciates it because saying no to flash is nearly impossible. he shouldnât be so mad at harry, should he? heâs a good friend.
harryâs arm snakes around your waist and brings you closer to him. never mind.
âwhoâs up for sushi later?â he asks the table, everyone agreeing and saying how awesome that sounds. everyone except peter. you tap his shoulder with a small smile. âwhat about you, peter? you coming?â he realizes youâre all waiting for him to respond and puts down his milk. âuh, i canât. homework,â he lamely answers.
âdude, we have homework, too. just do it a little later,â ned suggests, betty laying her head on his shoulder. you share a look with her, your eyes wide and a grin on your lips. that must have been what you were talking about this morning. she asked for boy advice. ned advice. why canât this crap work out for peter?
âi really canât. sorry, guys,â peter half heartedly apologizes.
he misses the disappointment that crosses your features because heâs pouting at his lunch again.
âhomework, huh?â mj tests him, squinting as she takes a sip of apple juice. harry nudges peterâs side with two fingers. âyou still mad about the sleeping thing?â âsleeping thing? what sleeping thing?â betty wonders while ned rests his head against hers. a quiet laugh slips out of you as you lean in to tell her.
âpeter said he couldnât sleep last night, so harry offered him...â you mime rolling a joint. âi said no,â peter clarifies, rolling his eyes at the inevitable teasing heâs about to get. none of you have even smoked besides harry. youâre being annoying about it. âof course you did,â mj sighs and kicks her feet up on the table. âunrelated to what y/n just said... harry, i have insomnia.â
everyone bursts into laughter at that, betty shoving her side and you pulling harry by his torso as he pretends to go into his backpack. peter wants nothing to do with any of this. he usually enjoys joking around with the group, even if itâs at his expense because itâs from a place of love.
today feels like youâre straight up making fun of him. harry might as well invite flash to join in.
âalright, alright, alright. enough of the weed talk,â harry decides, you removing your arms from him and grabbing your coffee. âyouâre such a bad influence.â your voice drips with sarcasm. you bend the straw and take a sip while scooting closer to peter. âyou really canât come later? i feel like iâve barely seen you today.â thatâs on harry. âi wish i could, y/n/n,â peter exhales. âiâll text you later, okay?â
you donât get to answer because mj tugs on your arm, distracting you from peter. she explains how she has to do an art project on what it means to be a woman and needs help brainstorming ideas. youâre full of them, offering up an interesting perspective for her to use. peter smiles to himself as he listens in. you find a new way to impress him every day.
he should tell you that.
âhey, y/n?â âlisten to her! youâre seriously my idol,â betty gushes, so loudly you donât hear peter. not a single thing has gone in his favor at this table. he gives up.
peter locks himself in his room when he gets home from his overall terrible day. he does homework like he said he would, only taking a break for dinner, giving one word replies to mayâs questions about school. heâd much rather be having sushi with you. he wouldâve gone if the others didnât.
after dinner, itâs back to grumbling and scribbling down answers. thereâs a knock at peterâs door around ten oâclock, which he assumes is may saying goodnight. âiâll be done in a few minutes, may! love you.â âitâs y/n,â you reply, the smile clear in your voice. his eyes go comically wide. thatâs the last thing he expected to hear. âoh. uh, come in.â
youâre holding a small takeout bag, shutting the door behind you and walking over to his desk. you meet his twinkling eyes in the dim light that hits off his walls. from his open window, you faintly hear cars as they rush by and honk their horns in the distance, accompanied by a fresh breeze. itâs cozy, safe. itâs peter.
âhey. whatâre you doing here?â peter questions, leaving his pencil in his binder and shutting it. you shake around the plastic bag. âi saved you a roll.â he bites back a smile, getting up from his chair. âmay let me in. she was really chill about it,â you continue and hold out the sushi for him. âitâs a california roll. i wasnât sure what you wanted, and everyone likes those.â
peter lets his smile spread out and takes the bag from you. âthanks, y/n/n. i was honestly hoping one of you would have leftovers.â you laugh softly, peter setting the bag down on his desk. he scratches the back of his neck. âdid you guys have fun?â âyeah. i missed you, though.â you clasp your hands behind your back. âeveryone did.â
âi feel bad i didnât go. just... things felt off today,â peter admits the real reason he stayed home, you letting out a breath. âit was harry, wasnât it? god, he was being so weird.â your arms drop back to your sides. âthereâs a difference between playing around and actually upsetting people.â by people, you mean peter. no one else seemed too bothered by him. âiâm sorry, peter. i tried to make him stop.â
âno, you donât have to apologize,â peter assures you sweetly, grabbing one of your hands. âitâs not your fault, okay? he probably didnât realize what he was doing. the jokes landed.â heâs referring to ned, mj, and betty finding harryâs comments hilarious. you lace your fingers with peterâs and frown. âthis isnât like him. maybe heâs stressed about a game.â your gaze drifts off to the side, what you see getting you to perk up.
âis that new?â you ask peter, leading him by his hand over to a poster he put up recently. itâs for 13 going on 30. you showed it to him a couple of weeks ago, and he clearly liked it a lot. any movie that makes it to peterâs wall is a special one. âmhm. i got it literally right after you went home the night we watched,â he chuckles and looks over at you while you study the poster.
you turn to face peter again, keeping your hand tight in his. âwere you gonna tell me something earlier? at lunch?â heâs confused for a second, then he remembers your ideas for mjâs art project. the fact that you cared enough to bring it up after all these hours makes his stomach do summersaults in the best way. he shrugs and gives you a smile.
âthe stuff you were saying about femininity and how there are so many ways to define it,â peter starts, you grinning back at him, at how he took an interest in what you were saying. âyouâre so smart, y/n. you make me wanna be better.â a light pink dusts his cheeks. âpeter, youâre a feminist?â you coo, joking but genuinely wondering at the same time. he squeezes your hand. âduh.â
âi thought so,â you nod, taking in the rest of what he said. âyou think iâm smart? i trust you because youâre way smarter.â peter pffts in response. âiâm only good at, like, physics. youâre good at things that really matter. smart in that way.â youâre feeling your own face get hot. you swing yours and peterâs hands back and forth. âwhy are you the nicest person ever?â
the answer to that, may, peeks her head into the room. âhey, kids. itâs getting late.â she notices your intertwined hands and shoots peter a smirk. âi thought you were a cool aunt,â he teases, you sadly letting go of him. âshe is. thanks for having me over so late,â you tell may on your way to the door. âoh, stop it. you can come over any time.â she puts a hand on your arm. âthank you so much,â you murmur back.
you walk backwards to the doorway, may leaving you two to say your goodbyes. âwanna hang out only you and me? on friday maybe?â that should make up for everything earlier. âyeah, of course. friday is perfect,â peter agrees and bounces on his feet as excitement takes over him. âthanks again for the sushi.â
âno problem. goodnight.â itâs taking every last bit of power in you to not freak out. ânight. text me when you get home.â he presses his tongue into his cheek. you slowly pull the door shut. âok, i will. bye!â it closes, leaving peter skipping across his room to his bed on one side and you doing a little happy dance on the other.
the next day at school, everything is back to normal. honestly, better than normal. your hangout with peter is tomorrow, and heâs planning on telling he likes you then. he already talked it over with ned. heâs relieved itâs finally happening, especially since him and betty have their own thing. sheâll be taking up most of his free time from here.
your group is spending lunch outside today, lounging across a picnic table, surrounded by trees and the shining sun in a bright blue sky. mj sits on the table and has her feet on the bench, which would usually bug peter to no end. he doesnât mind this time because it takes up enough room that harry has to sit with ned and betty instead of you. you lean into peterâs side and stab a piece of lettuce from your salad.
âitâs so nice out,â betty sighs, ripping off half her cookie and giving it to ned. âwe should ditch.â âoh my god, you sound like harry,â you groan between bites of salad. peter lets out a breathy laugh, you looping your arm through his. he grins down at where youâre linked. harry crosses his own arms over his chest. âshe wishes.â betty only nods because her mouth is full of m&mâs.
ânah, seriously. iâd take us out somewhere, but i have practice after school.â he speaks quieter than he normally does, less confident. your theory about him having basketball drama was right. âwhat did we tell you? talk about the sports shit with your sports friends,â mj complains, sitting back on her hands. she glances at harry over her shoulder and catches ned mouthing you canât say that.
sitting criss cross, she spins around to face harry, unenthusiastically saying, âwhat i meant was, you sound upset. whatâs wrong?â harry gets into it right away, like heâs been waiting for someone to ask. ���coach says there might be a scout at the next game. itâs a really good opportunity even though i donât have to worry about... college yet.â the word makes him cringe.
âoh, damn. thatâs a big deal. scary,â mj snorts, turning back to you and peter. her behavior makes ned internally face palm. âthatâs awesome, dude. youâre gonna play amazing like always.â he gives harry a high five, who smiles nervously in response. heâs never nervous. âthanks, bro. you guys wanna come and watch?â heâs never invited you to one of his games before either.
this isnât a group of friends that likes to spend their weekends in bleachers while angry teens shout around them.
âdefinitely. weâll be there to support you, harry,â betty answers for everyone, ned pecking her cheek in satisfaction. mj cusses to herself before replying. âif i absolutely must, sure.â only you and peter havenât said anything yet. heâs been chewing his lower lip, and you your salad. harry looks between you two hopefully. itâs more so at you, which peter doesnât like.
ây/n? pete? it would help a lot, iâm serious.â he taps his fingers on the table until one of you speaks up. youâre the one who does. âiâll go. this is pretty huge, right? congrats.â you reach across the table and squeeze his shoulder while simultaneously tightening your arm around peterâs. he takes that as a cue. âiâll go, too. happy for you, man.â
though peter isnât currently in the best place with harry, he should show his support by showing up. it canât be too bad since the rest of you will be there.
a loud, long chuckle leaves harry as he hops up from his bench and comes to yours and peterâs. he bends over and wraps both of you in a hug from behind at the same time. his arms are around each of your shoulders, holding you so close his cheeks are squished against either of your heads. you giggle at that, peter finding himself laughing along and reaching back to ruffle harryâs hair.
staying mad at him is one of the worldâs greatest challenges.
âyouâre saints, both of you. my angels.â he kisses the back of your head, then lays one right on peterâs cheek, leaving him blushing red and grinning. âwhat about the rest of us? i never go to shit like this,â mj huffs and seems genuinely offended. harry wiggles his eyebrows. âyou want a kiss?â his offer gets her flustered, which she canât manage to hide. thatâs a first.
âshut up. iâm just saying... never mind.â mj glares at you and peter, ned and betty making kissing noises behind her. âsomeone change the subject.â peter steps in. âwhenâs the game, harry?â he asks, harry snapping and waving his finger. âtomorrow! cancel your plans, kiddos.â âlike we had any,â betty retorts.
some of you did. that was going to be peterâs hangout with you.
ned smiles sympathetically at peter before betty is getting his attention. youâre unfazed and rambling to harry how proud you are of him.
did last night mean nothing? was it an empty gesture? were you only doing it out of guilt? peter must have read your visit wrong. heâs been wrong the whole time heâs liked you. you donât like him back, you pity him. harry is who youâre really interested in.
may always says he should trust his instincts.
peter pulls his arm from yours suddenly, swinging his backpack onto his shoulders. youâre taken back because itâs so out of no where. you stop talking to harry so you can figure out his deal. âwhere are you going?â âbellâs gonna ring,â peter mumbles and picks up his lunch tray. he heads to the garbage can without another word or goodbye to anyone.
âiâm gonna go check on him,â you tell harry, already getting up from the bench. âyou do that,â he acknowledges and calls mjâs name again.
peter tosses his mostly untouched food in the trash, seeing you make your way over from the corner of his eye. he tries to speed walk inside so he doesnât have to talk to you. youâre too quick, cornering him between the door and brick wall.
âwe still have ten minutes,â you state, worry flashing across your face. heâs avoiding you. well, attempting to. âwhatâs wrong?â peter gulps before saying anything. âmy next class is on the other side of the-â âno,â you cut him off. âwhatâs really wrong?â
he doesnât feel like having this discussion. itâs bad enough he came to the realization his feelings are one sided. must he break that down for you so soon?
you toy with your sleeve while you speak because peter doesnât. âi thought you and harry were fine again. i mean, he kissed you.â peter clenches his jaw so hard he can imagine the sound of it cracking. âitâs not about harry.â âwhat, then? what the fuck happened?â your sleeves are now balled in your fists. you hate it when peter does this angsty routine.
he keeps his voice low and calm so he doesnât come off as jealous or hurt. heâs both of those things. âthe game is tomorrow. friday. when we were supposed to hang out.â you meet peterâs eyes with nothing but remorse in yours. âi... i forgot,â is all you have to say.
you feel awful. heâs had a tough couple of days, and you fell through on your promise to cheer him up.
âclearly,â peter remarks, voice sharp. the way youâre looking at him makes him think he wonât like whatâs coming. âpeter, we have to go,â you almost whine. âiâm really sorry, i am, but this is a big night for harry. he needs us there.â peter stays silent. youâre twisting the knife deeper into him with every word. âi wouldnât be cancelling if this wasnât important.â
now youâre cancelling?
you reach for peterâs hand, but he shoves it into his pocket. that stings for you and him. âplease, peter. weâll hang out at the game, i swear.â this is the last chance youâve got, so you pile it on. âharry wonât even be there, technically. heâll... heâll be on the court.â peter hadnât thought about that. he lets himself unclench, starting to see the appeal. you add one more thing to lighten the mood and persuade him.
âiâll buy you popcorn, all you can eat.â itâs that easy. cracking a smile, peter accepts. heâll deal with his unresolved, unreciprocated feelings after he stuffs his face, courtesy of you. âyou better. iâm gonna need it for this long ass game.â your face lights up, grabbing his wrist in both hands.
âso, youâll come?â âiâll be there,â he confirms. you throw your arms around his neck. he laughs into the hug and holds you by your middle. âi promise thisâll be the first and last game we ever go to,â you say and mean it. harry is lucky youâre even suffering through this a first time. âthank god,â peter exhales, resting his chin on your head.
that interaction leaves peter confused as hell. youâre crushing his mind and soul one minute, then hugging him the next. you were making him feel so special lasts night, and treating harry the same way today. itâs so jumbled that he isnât sure if heâs in the friend zone or something more zone.
there are a ton of mixed signals coming his way, and he sucks at reading people as is.
he canât take another second of this. heâd rather you come out and say you like harry already because itâs torture. knowing you donât want him in that way would at least eliminate the possibility of anything happening between you two, and allow him to stop driving himself insane.
heâd be able to stop taking it out on harry, too.
the hold you have on peter, that youâre oblivious to, rules his every thought and decision. heâs constantly analyzing what you say to him, debating whether or not your affection is simply platonic. itâs been half a year of this madness, the night of harryâs game blurring every line so much more.
your group arrives a bit early to find seats and hype harry up before he plays. peter gets there after all of you because heâs not exactly in a rush to watch sweaty guys be aggressive. thereâs only one upside, which is spending the night with you... and everyone else.
he steps into the gym thatâs filling up fast with family members, friends, and the college scout harry was talking about. midtown has a different feeling to it at night. the smell of pencils is oddly stronger, and itâs a lot less intimidating.
cheerleaders are huddled in a circle while the team supervisor has them run their chants. the âleading official,â who peter thought was called a referee, takes his place off to the side. coaches give their players last minute instructions, players fool around with each other, a lot is going on.
peter scans the room for you, and grins a toothy grin when you catch his eyes. youâre sitting by yourself in one of the middle bleachers, only a bag of skinny pop in your lap. you return the smile once you spot him and wave him over.
âi donât know why, but i thought theyâd have an actual concession stand,â you explain the lack of fresh, buttery popcorn as peter takes a seat next to you. he catches the prepackaged bag you toss him. âitâs just a snack table.â âworks either way,â peter hums and pokes the bag. âiâm not sure skinny pop is all i can eat, though.â âitâs good!â you defend the snack you chose for him.
âiâm kidding! youâre right, itâs kind of addicting.â he puts it by his feet for now and gives you a half smile. âyouâre welcome,â you deadpan in a playful tone. âthanks.â he narrows his eyes. âwhereâs everyone else?â âright,â you twist around and gesture to the bleacher above you. mj is gloomily seated near the back. ned and betty are a few behind you.
âi told them to find their own seats so we can sit together, alone.â you look over at peter and move ever so slightly closer. âwelcome to our friday hangout. just the two of us.â âaw, you didnât have to do that,â peter laughs out, his knee bumping yours. âbut, iâm happy you did.â he goes to put an arm around you, then harry comes racing up the stairs.
just the two of you didnât last so long.
ây/n, iâm freaking out,â harry announces, zooming through your row to get over to you. he stops once heâs standing in front of peter and shakes him by his shoulder. âhey, pete. you made it.â âyup,â peter replies, pressing his lips together. you wince at his reaction, then quirk an eyebrow at harry. âyouâre freaking out? why?â
harry sits down between you and peter, blissfully unaware of the moment he interrupted.
âi found the scout. heâs fucking terrifying as fuck. this super ripped guy, looks like heâd rather be anywhere else,â he talks quietly, like the man will hear him. âheâs not the only one,â peter says to himself, kicking around his bag of popcorn to pass time. you ignore him and grimace.
âshit. wait, how do you know itâs him? did they tell you?â youâre not sure how these things go. harry casually shrugs a shoulder. âdude has a clipboard. seems legit to me.â he gives you a cocky smile. âheâs also in the row before mj. thatâs how i noticed. um...â his back now facing peter, he whispers something in your ear that makes you giggle.
peterâs face scrunches up as the spark of anger the past few days have lit reignites itself.
when harry pulls away, you motion for him to come closer with your index finger, cupping your hand around his ear and speaking into it.
nope, no more. peter is entirely about to explode. you cancelled your plans so you can force him to watch basketball, you sweet talk him so heâll let it go, and youâre running right back to harry after all of that? what the hell does that mean?
peter stands up from his seat. ây/n, we need to talk,â he demands, you moving away from harry to respond. âok, gimme a minute. weâre-â âno, we need to talk now.â you donât have time to refute because heâs taking your arm and dragging you away. harry squints at you in utter confusion.
âum, have a good game! weâll talk later,â you call back to him, walking with peter even though you have no idea what his issue is and arenât a fan of how heâs acting.
he releases you once youâre in the hallway. you make a point of harshly yanking your arm back, a scowl painting your lips. âjesus, peter. i was having a conversation.â âdo you like harry?â peter blurts out. youâre so shocked at his abruptness that you donât give him much to work with, only, âwhat?â âdo you like harry?â he asks you again, this time less accusing and more curious.
âdo i like...â youâre too aware of the seemingly hundreds of people surrounding you to answer comfortably. âcan we talk about this somewhere else?â âsure,â peter nods, letting you lead the way since he did to get out here. you two go down the hall and choose the first room you see, which happens to be the custodianâs closet. itâs thankfully unlocked.
things were tense between you and peter on the way over, and itâs physically mirrored when you step into the room, air thick and smelling of lemon cleaning supplies. you tug on the string hanging down to turn on the light. it casts a faded glow, leaving you in mostly darkness. you sort of like it. this feels more intimate, which is fitting for what youâre both about to say.
neither one of you knows where to begin. peterâs question is ringing in the back of your mind, and you could touch on that, but thereâs more to it than a simple yes or no. you donât have to worry about it because peter gets his words out first.
âi think harry likes you, and i think you like him back,â peter restarts, already sounding deflated by what he came up with. âhe doesnât, and i donât.â you take a step towards him. âhe likes mj.â itâs peterâs turn to be shocked. the hint of a smile sets on your lips. âthatâs what we were talking about. harry asked if he should take her to dinner after the game, and i said yes.â
this is going better than he expected.
âmj is the one who likes him, not me,â you reiterate and watch some life enter peter again, a tiny bit. heâs coming around, and he wants to believe you. his trust issues donât. âbut, youâre so... touchy with each other. the hugging the other day?â he mentions. you tilt your head to the side in amusement. âfriends canât hug?â
to be fair, you hugged peter yesterday. thatâs a point rightfully shut down.
âhe calls you pretty,â peter tries, raising both eyebrows. you have to laugh at this one. âyou call may pretty.â
obviously, peterâs analysis skills could use some serious improvements. it sounds like he had the right idea, wrong person. your relationship with harry is platonic. hell, heâs crushing on a whole different person. this actually opens up the possibility of you liking peter in the romantic way, of him being in the something more zone. he had it backwards.
in case peter isnât convinced yet, and because you really want to, you use one more trick to prove to him you donât like harry.
âdo me and harry do this?â your lips speak for you, colliding with peterâs unexpectedly yet easily. he feels like heâs floating, like heâs in some sort of magical wonderland until it hits him that this is real, and he should probably kiss you back. he does so softly and tangles his fingers in your locks. his hand supports the back of your head as the kiss goes on.
you push forward so your bodies are almost fused together, the closest you can be while you hold his jaw. peter breaks the kiss for a short breather, going back in without more than a moment passing. this one is feverish, his free arm looping around your lower back, hand resting on the small of it. you let out a giggle against his swollen lips and stroke your thumb over his jawline.
heâs been waiting to do this for the longest time, but he doesnât have to tell you that. it shows in how eager he was to reciprocate, his shyness blossoming into passion. you feel yourself melting under his touch, the kiss eventually becoming a series of short pecks. peter gives you the final one. his pink lips form a grin when you pull apart. your hands stay on each other, not in a rush to go anywhere.
âwoah, i like you so much,â peter laughs out. the words roll off his tongue naturally. âyou know i like you,â you drawl, smiling at him, a full body smile while you caress his skin. he winds both arms around you and dips his head down to steal another kiss. youâre loving whatâs happening. however, you donât feel like making out while dirty brooms stare at you. you should take this back home.
âwanna get out of here? i do,â you suggest, voice muffled from his lips. they detach from yours and brush your cheek gently. peter makes a funny face. âhm, i thought we had to come. harry needs us,â he says what you did yesterday, earning a groan back. âyouâre joking.â âiâm not. what kind of friends would we be, ditching him like that?â
heâs going to end you one day.
âyeah, no. i have no idea how basketball works, and iâd like to keep it that way,â peter drops the act, pressing his fingers into your sides. âiâve been so mean to harry. i was...â âa dick?â you finish for him. itâs more of a statement than a question. to soften the blow, you rub his cheek with the tips of your fingers. âyup. heâs gonna think i hate him or something if we donât stay.â his formerly smiley face is frowning.
âharry of all people will understand after we tell him our reasons,â you reassure him, nudging under his chin with your nose. âbesides, he has other things to worry about. mj, the scout. itâs fine.â peter considers it, ultimately giving in to you like he always does, resting his forehead on yours. âi guess so. less distractions for him, yeah.â âexactly. thatâs what i wanna hear.â
having his approval, you unwind yourself from him and head to the door. his fingers wrap around your wrist gently. âwhat about my popcorn?â a giggle escapes your lips. âyouâre still on that?â âyou said all i can eat!â his voice comes out high pitched, adorably high pitched.
âfine. i might have those bags you put in the microwave.â you smile when his fingers lock with yours, peter kissing the side of your head.
âeven better. letâs go home.â
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Can we have some jealous/sweet smut with textbook love couple?𼲠like I guess OC was wearing an outfit that was a little short and some guy was checking her out and trying to get at her but she didnât even realize it and Jungkook gets mad and you knowđ
this really went off the fucking rails đˇ
"I don't see the point in you coming, we just go there to get high."
"Maybe she wants to try it," Taehyung shrugs before looking up from his phone with a mischievous grin. "What if she's secretly a freakâ"
"I'm not, I justâ" you sigh, reluctant to reveal your intentions behind wanting to tag along with Jungkook to a frat party. His reason is clear: his body is craving another drug trip. Yours is unknown to them, and you purse your lips where you stand uncomfortably in the student lounge. Why would such a motivated student go out on a school night to get influenced? Oh, no reason, just want to damage my organs because YOLO, right? "I want to spend time with you," you simply reason to your unwilling boyfriend.
Jungkook clicks his tongue, an indication of an incoming refusal, "It's a crackhouse with live softcore porn, and I know for a fact you'd hate it there. Remember last time?"
The issue is that you do remember last time, and also the time that you weren't there. Much like a fairytale, it ended happily both times, but the beginnings were rockyâand you didn't want to miss out on that chapter before jumping to the end. It ruins the tale.
"It's okay sugar tits, I give you permission," Taehyung says while playing a mobile game with his tongue sticking out, unaware of the stares he's getting in response.
"The fuck did you just call her?"
"I'm not asking for permission," you roll your eyes and put your hands on your hips to assert the tiniest bit of dominance on Jungkook who you hover over. The two men are relaxed in their seats while you're tense from knowing you're going to have to rebel against Jungkook. He isn't going to give in. "I will come."
"No, no you won't," is his plain and casual command. You send him a subtle glare but he merely raises a brow, as if challenging you to retaliate.
"You're not her dad, dude. If she wants to come, she will," his friend chimes in defensively.
"Thank you," you point at him with wide eyes.
"First of all, you're not even a part of this conversation," he tells Taehyung. "Secondly, I'm looking out for you as your boyfriend," he gives you a pointed look. "Thirdly, not her dad? Wouldn't you beg to differ." The suggestive hint makes your face flush in embarrassment, and his wink worsens it.
"Excuseâ"
"You told me not to tell him!" The discussion ends when you march out of the lounge to cool off your heated skin along with your high nerves. This relationship did begin when you didn't take no for an answer, so what's the harm in doing it again?
âââââ
The night you lost your virginity, it was autumn and easy to figure out what to wear for a party: warm and cozy with some charming color. It's spring now, and a little more difficult to decide on what to wear without looking like a "high school girl" as Jungkook often describes your outfits.
Your roommate is more cultured in that field, and was kind enough to lend you her help.
Soyeon racks her eyes over your closet with a hand over her chin, elbow crossing her stomach as leverage for her other arm. Nothing is exactly screaming out sexy to her, and unless it's a cosplay gathering, your wardrobe needs more diversity; dressing shirts, skater skirts and knee highs are out of the question.
You wait to hear her thoughts while shifting in your seat on your bed until she quietly giggles. "And I thought I was conservative." She cranes her neck to you, not moving from her position depending on your answer, "Do you want to borrow my clothes instead? They're more... suitable?"
You nod. "Sure. I meanâ if you don't mind."
You trust your friend to take care of the clothing portion, and it's with a few cringing "ehhh"s and "mmm"s that you are satisfied with the outcome of this minor quest.
A thin black turtleneck with unnecessarily long sleeves cover your knuckles like sweater paws, and the fabric hugs your torso tightly but ends just below your belly button. Soyeon found a solution to your discomfort with the slight exposure of your stomach by matching it with high waisted denim shorts and nude pantyhose. It's chilly at night, so it's the perfect outfit: doesn't stand out and fits in just right. You don't look like a high school girl nor a nun.
You kept your only concern to yourself because it's not much of a big deal, but it bothers you that the denim shorts don't reach your knees. By your standards, it's a little... inappropriate, but your roommate assures you that it's a common choice in this occasion. You let it slide.
âââââ
Your worries of being too early faded the moment you stood before the frat house that boomed with music and flashed with violet. You don't know the time code for parties, but you must be late considering the crowd inside. People are chattering loudly when you squirm past them, but there's enough space in the living room for you to breathe. No softcore porn or crack yet. Not many are dancing either. It seems all good here.
However, the search must go on because Jungkook is nowhere to be found in the living room. You hear deep howls from the kitchen and it piques your attention, prompting you to look there next. You can only hope Jungkook's not high yet, or has a girl on his lap.
When you walk in, the kitchen that is remarkably smaller than the living room is filled with men taking shots from the center counter, and Jungkook leaning against the other counter surrounding the walls with a joint in his hand. You stand still in the doorway, suddenly nervous of his reaction, but relieved that he's alone nonetheless.
He inhales a deep breath and the small smile on his face falters when his redshot eyes drag themselves onto you. He stands straight once you lock gazes, and you grin at him before he shuts his eyes and clenches his jaw. You unconfidently strut over to him, reaching his side in only a few seconds as he glares at you.
Only a syllable comes out of his mouth before his attention diverts from you to another guy nearby in a flash. "Hey, eyes off," he calmly demands the man behind you. You glance at him when he raises his hands before looking elsewhere. You presume that's sign language for backing off, and your shoulder blades move awkwardly at the guess of what he might've been looking at. "What the hell are you doing here?" he brings your focus back onto him.
"I wanted to check up on you," you lean into him to not yell out your words.
"Check up on me?" He's incredulous. "Do you realize where you are? You shouldn't be here."
The moment is interrupted when Namjoon and Taehyung enter the scene, and you stop gnawing on your inner cheek. You don't have any answers you want to tell him, and your muscles relax when Jungkook's friends notice you.
"Oh shit," Taehyung smiles widely, "you're actually here." He appears to be sober and you smile back at him. Namjoon on the other hand, is as high as a kite as he brings you into a light hug. Your eyes widen and you awkwardly pat his back, fixated on his dazed expression.
"I haven't seen you in so long," he says as he ruffles your hair. Jungkook slaps a hand over his face at the interaction and drags the skin with his fingers. "How have you been? Do you want a molly?"
"Dude," your boyfriend intervenes, annoyed. "Why are you back here?"
"Alcohol." Namjoon disappears behind you to search the fridge and cabinets and you look at Taehyung again. He's drinking in your awkward stance as he licks his lips while Jungkook takes another drag from his joint.
"Girl, you are fucked," he says when his eyes trail back to yours with a snort. "You came here in those clothes, when you have a boyfriend? Jungkookie, I have some bad news for you. Your cock isn't even satisfactorâ"
"Seriously though," Jungkook tells you with furrowed brows, "why are you here? I told you not to come." His reaction is influenced by the weed, not so mad as he is confused by your rebellion without reasonâyou must have a cause for waltzing in here, especially after his warning.
You hum in discomfort and shift your weight onto your other foot. "I already told you..."
"Don't give me that bullshitâ"
A yelp cuts off his words when you jolt forward from a slap to your bottom. It wasn't a hard hit, but the surprise factor has you throwing yourself on Jungkook. Taehyung's jaw drops while your boyfriend barely reacts.
"If that isn't the cutest ass I've ever seen," the culprit chuckles without taking his eyes off your butt. He's almost slurring his words, and his lopsided grin doesn't seem intentional; he must feel too numb to form a full smile. You watch him in disbelief much like Taehyung. "You got any coke?"
"She's taken, manâ" he takes on the peacemaker role, but it's futile when Jungkook gently removes your arm from his chest and walks forward to the stumbling man.
"Oh, my baâ" his face scrunches in confusion when his cheeks are grabbed and squished, leaving his mouth gaping. You peek from above Jungkook's shoulder to see him raising his joint before stubbing the burning tip onto the man's tongue. A scream resounds in the overcrowded room when it makes contact, and you fall back into Taehyung's arms while the deafeningly loud music tries to drown out the pained sounds. It's barbaric.
"Ah, shit," he pushes you to the side and pulls back Jungkook, who's still abnormally calm. The whole situation feels surreal, and it seems as if no one realizes this isn't a dream.
The man stops struggling against Jungkook's hold when he's released and falls to the ground, crawling back while sucking his teeth. He's whimpering and afraid. "I didn't know," he speaks with a lisp, pathetically begging, "I apologized! I-I'm sorry!"
You cautiously take a few steps back, almost like you're trying to flee the scene, but it just seems like a good idea to avoid Jungkook's temper right now. Just as you're about to turn around and sprint, you're held back by a hand on your shoulder. No words are exchanged when you're dragged away, a bruising grip on your forearm as you stumble out of the kitchen and up the stairs.
"Some fucking deja vu, huh?" your boyfriend fumes, basically shouting out his words without glancing at you to notice your struggles to keep up with his pace.
Lunatic Jungkook: Unlocked.
You trust sober Jungkook to not hurt you when he's angry, but after seeing him commit such a painful act, it's more than reasonable why you're currently terrified of him while he's high. To think you were so comfortable with him earlier because he's high. His calmness makes him all the more unpredictable, and you're unnerved when he shoves you inside a random bedroom. Some reversed deja vu.
"I'm going to ask you again: why the fuck did you come here?" The only attack is with his eyes that send daggers at you, but you keep your guard up in fear of what he'll do. You have to tread lightly.
"I was worried what would happen if I wasn't here with you." Honesty is your only approach in this instance because when he's glaring at you like that, it conveys that he doesn't want to hear any more of your ludicrous excuses.
He rolls his hand, gesturing you to continue. You're nervously forcing out your words, "I didn't, um... know how you would act around other women while you're on drugs when I'm not around." When his face falls into monotone, you defend yourself, still tense, "Last time, you kissed Soyeon and before that, another girl! I-I had my reasons..." Your voice grows smaller, just like how you feel under his gaze. Your eyes flicker to your shoes.
"And those shorts?"
At your silence, he takes a few steps towards you and leans into your face, slightly bending to level with your height. He tugs on the hem of your shorts harshly, emitting a flinch from you. You don't return his stare. "What the fuck are these? You're stupid enough to come here, but coming here in these shorts? Are you okay?" He taps your cheek, encouraging you to look up at him, but it's both humiliating and intimidating. "I know you're not a slut, baby, but why are you so adamant on acting like one?"
"I wanted to fit in," is your weak defence in a mumble, gaze still downcast. You shouldn't feel so ashamed.
"No, you told me you wanted to make sure I wasn't cheating," he counters. "Don't fucking twist things now. You didn't need to dress up to see if I was fucking someone else."
Your round eyes shoot up in panic at whatever he's insinuating, "I didn't want you to realize how paranoid I was."
"So this was your grand idea?"
"Ah," you groan, just wanting this argument to end already. You know what he's thinking: "I was stupid. I didn't learn my lesson, and I ended up hurting someone because I'm stupid."
You release a relieved breath when he gives you distance to sit on the twin sized bed. He's facing you as he says, "When I tell you not to do something, you don't do it. I'm not trying to dictate you, you understand that, right?" You meekly nod and clamp your mouth shut when he continues, "You pull this shit again, I'm going to hurt someone else again. Simple as that. I don't care if they did anything, I'll hurt them as long as it gets you to listen to me."
"Okay," you exhale, shyly walking between his legs at his beckon. You tower him, but it's not helping your confidence as he places his hands on your hips.
"Okay," he whispers back as he plays with the waistline of your shorts. A moment of silence passes, and you allow yourself to calm down enough to sit on his lap and lay your head on his shoulder. "I like the high school girl look better on you."
You sheepishly grin but decide not to respond for the safety of your friend. He pulls on your pantyhose and it slaps against your thigh when he releases it.
"Do you forgive me?"
"Can't stay mad at you," he murmurs before pecking your lips. It's you who leans back in to extend the kiss, and he responds gently. It ends when he chuckles, "Passive smoking, hm? You feeling okay?"
You nod and lock lips again, his hand soothingly rubbing the side of your thigh when you clasp your hands behind his neck. Maybe he's right, maybe you did get a buzz from the secondhand exposure, but it doesn't influence your actions as you lower one hand to his chest. It just happens to fall on his crotch.
"Mm," he pulls away with a suppressed laugh, "you're actually high? Your hands just got a mind of their own."
"Then tie them," you offer in a breath. His brows shoot up, but his surprise doesn't prevent him from unbuckling his belt singlehandedly.
"A bondage kink? Who are you and what did you do to my nerdy girlfriend?" His joke emits a small laugh from you but his smile falters once his belt is in his hand. "Take your shirt off first."
It's no longer a guess when you slip out of the turtleneck in a flash; you are under some spell when you stand and hold your wrists together. The leather grazes your skin and sends delighted tingles down your spine.
"I hope I'm not going fucking crazy and hallucinating this," you hear him whisper behind you. A laugh escapes you and interrupts his internal monologue, and the buckle is clasped. "Now for the shorts..."
He stands up, pressing himself against you and peeking from your shoulder to undo the button of your denim shorts. You can feel his erection grinding against you when he tugs them down to falll at your ankles. You step out of the garment and turn around. When he gets out of your way, he gestures you to lie down and your hands are pressing against your back when you do so.
You watch him take his short off before straddling you and leaning down for another kiss. It's merely foreplay; he cups your clothed pussy and runs his hand down up and down, prompting you to sigh into him. He bites your bottom lip just as he slips his fingers past your underwear, murmuring against your lips, "Can you take me right now?"
"I think so," you shy. "I want to."
"Good," he sighs and removes his hand to massage his erection while undressing you completely. "I think... this is a better lesson."
"For what?"
"You don't know?" he pushes the cup of your bra to pinch your nipple mercilessly, and he hears your pain through your small scream. "A guy got burnt for no reason then?"
"No, no, I know," you gasp when he twists your sensitive nub, "because I'm stupid and I shouldn't have ignored you." Your back lifts off the mattress when you clench your teeth to suppress another scream. Despite your bounds hands, it's him talking down on you that renders you submissive.
"Mhm," he's condescending in his speech, "he did something wrong, but so did you, right? This is just the consequences of your actions, isn't it?"
It's his stinging touch that makes you agree to whatever he says, and you whine, "Yes!"
That's the only confirmation he needs to push his jeans down to his thighs along with his briefs, and your now bare pussy shies away from his cock by bending your knees. He pushes your legs even closer to you, and your efforts went against your intention by exposing yourself to him completely now. "You're so pretty," he admires with slight awe, "but I can't be shallow... You don't deserve to treated well."
His words make you shutter; you didn't do anything that wrong, but you aren't courageous enough to voice your thoughts. Everything he's told you today have turned out right, so he knows better to make that call. You stay unresponsive, head turned to the side to avoid his fierce gaze.
"No, you should hurt as much as he did," he mutters to himself as he trails a finger down your folds. You shiver and his gaze travels to your shy one. "What? Are you scared?"
You are unconfident with your denial, "No."
"Look at me then."
It's with a deep inhale that you glance at him, and your breath is caught in your throat when he shoves himself inside. Your whimpers resound brokenly in the bedroom where the bass of the music drowns it out. You feel the vibrations, but it doesn't serve as a distraction and you're aware that Jungkook can pick up your pained noises. He's simply ignoring you, but you can't dwell on the thought when he lets you adjust for a few seconds only before ramming into you. Your whines aren't enough for him, after all, what's a better indication of pain than a scream of agony?
His thrusts are out of rhythm, but quick and rough nonetheless as his hands push you deeper into the mattress as if to hold you down before taking your nipple in his mouthâmore specifically between his teeth to bite.
"Jungkook!" It's not a gentle bite, and you know it wasn't meant to be, but you try to squirm away nonetheless. Your flight instinct is futile because his strength overpowers yours, keeping you in place with his palms while you struggle and cry.
"No more, please!" You wail when he finally sits up, and he watches you bounce back and forth due to the force of his thrusts. It's so pleasing, especially your moans, but mixed with your bitching... it's irritating.
He grunts, the sound bordering on a growl before he says, "You deserve worse."
"I don't! I didn't do anything." Your protests fall on deaf ears, or rather ears that need you to shut up. He wraps his hand around your neck in a chokehold, daring you to speak with his grip as he moans through a bit lip.
"Your ass was hanging out in a room filled with men," he speaks in between moans while you gasp to catch your breath, sounds of pleasure getting suck in your throat when he slams deep enough to hit your sensitive spot. "You didn't listen to me! Ah..."
Your windpipe is getting crushed the tighter his grip gets, and your cheeks start to flush until he drops his hand to lift your hips, spanking you while you wheeze. "You want attention that bad?" His words are mere gasps when he starts to lose himself, now gripping your waist to match his thrusts for you.
"Only yours," you muster out as your eyes roll to the back of your skull, letting him do all the work while you get closer to your climax.
"Lying whore." He slaps your tit before completely concentrating on his release, inching closer and closer by the second teasingly. It builds up in his stomach, and his abs contract and tense while he pistons his cock inside you faster, not drained enough to get sloppy just yet. It's when a loud moan resounds in the room, reducing to pants with slow drags of his length. "God, yes..."
You feel it when he cums, painting your walls white and warming up your insides, and he rubs your clit so fast that it has you seeing stars in mere seconds. It's so quick, the high, and your moan is music to his ears; he's too spent to enjoy it any longer before he collapses next to you.
"Fuck, please let me tie you up again," he breathes while you recover from the euphoric sensation he brought you by twitching and seeing white. You're panting when his hand falls on your stomach.
"Please... I'll be nicer if you let me. Hm?"
#textbook love#jungkook drabble#bts x reader#jungkook x reader#bts fic#jungkook imagines#jeon jungkook#bts imagines#bts scenarios#bts smut#jungkook smut#jjk smut#jeon jungkook smut#networkbangtan#kpopnetwork
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The Language of Flowers - Donna Beneviento x Female Reader
Request Made By @p-jtarts
P.S.: THANKS FOR BEING MY FIRST ONE-SHOT ASK!
Summary: Donna would watch the Gardener every day since the first time she came to House Beneviento for work. Donna would sit on the porch and watch her, her affection for her growing by the day but could never make a move because she was so shy. What happens when something happens that makes Donna speak to her?
- Quick Key -
[Y/N] - YOUR FIRST NAME
[L/N] - YOUR LAST/SURNAME/FAMILY NAME
[H/C] - HAIR COLOR
[H/L] - HAIR LENGTH
[E/C] - EYE COLOR
[S/C] - SKIN COLOR
Donna would watch her from her pouch every morning when she went to water the flowers and every afternoon when she would sit in the garden to talk to the flowers - Donna would watch her every hour of every day if she could but she still had a family back home and would leave House Beneviento at the end of the day to return to them.
Just who was she? She was [Y/N] [L/N] - Eldest of the [L/N] Family and the new gardener of House Beneviento; she was a fair maiden with [H/L] [H/C], [E/C] eyes, and [S/C] skin. Donna remembered the day she first met her: Donna was in town when she noticed a woman with a vase of beautiful flowers and had Angie asked where the woman received them - out of fear, the woman told her about the [L/N] Family Flower Shop before running for her life. Donna watched the woman for a while before she headed in the direction she was told and that's when she saw her.
The most lovely of maidens aiding another customer with a smile on her face that seemed the shine like the full moon on a cloudless night. Donna was stunned by her that she didn't notice she walked closer to her until she heard a voice smoother than silk and sweeter than honey.
"Ma'am? Is there something I can do for you?" The maiden asked.
Donna was silent - was it from embarrassment or was she still stunned by the maiden.
"Hello." The doll called from the veiled woman's shoulder. "My name is Angie and this is Donna; she doesn't speak much." the doll explained.
"Oh, well it's pleased to meet you, Ms. Angie and Ms. Donna. Welcome to the [L/N] Flower Shop. What can I do for you?" The maiden asked with a smile.
"We need some flowers for our garden - what do you recommend?" Angie asked.
"Where do you live, if you don't mind me asking?" The maiden asked.
"We hail from House Beneviento in the Valley of Mist." Angie said.
"I don't know much of House Beneviento but I do know about the Valley of Mist - A Place shrouded in mystery and uncertainty." The maiden said.
"We saw a woman carrying a vase of roses - do you have any of those?" Angie asked.
"It's funny you say that - I was going to recommend Blue and White Roses for your garden." The maiden smiled.
"Why Blue and White instead of red?" Angie asked.
"Each flower has a different meaning just as a color has a different meaning: Blue Roses are a symbol for Mystery but they are also used to represent attaining the impossible & love at first sight." The maiden smiled.
"And the white roses?" Angie asked.
"In this case - The white rose would stand for Silence as the Valley of Mist is known as a deadly quiet place but they can also mean innocence, wistfulness, virtue, purity, secrecy, reverence, and humility." The maiden finished. The doll was silenced for a moment before she spoke again.
"You know a lot about flowers, don't you?" Angie asked.
"I do indeed, Ms. Angie. I've been known to speak the Language of Flowers." The maiden nodded with a smile.
"The Language of Flowers?" Angie asked.
"That's just a joke my father would tell me - he said I would spend more time talking to the flowers than to actual people but...I feel like the flowers understand me better than other people do." The maiden explained.
"May I ask a question?" Angie asked.
'What is Angie doing?' Donna wondered in her mind.
"I'll answer as best I can." The maiden smiled.
"Would you like to work at House Beneviento as the Gardener? We would pay you 2000 Lei every week." That offer made the Maiden's eyes widen (And Donna's too but you couldn't see them from the veil). 2000 Lei a week? that would be perfect - with her sales, as popular as the shop was - she was only getting around 800 a week. This money could really help her family.
"I would love this opportunity, Ms. Angie! Thank you!" The maiden bowed.
"Don't thank me - it was Donna's Idea; I just did the talking. By the way, what name do you go by?" Angie asked.
"Oh, My name is [Y/N]."
"Y/N..." Angie and [Y/N] looked at Donna; that was the first thing she said. "A very beautiful name."
"So is yours, Lady Donna Beneviento."
That was what lead them here - Donna was standing with Angie on her pouch as the two of them watch [Y/N] talking to the flowers in the garden as she pulled the tiny weeds that attempted the grow.
"You should talk to her, you know you want to." Angie whispered to Donna.
"I know I want to...I just can't." Donna whispered back.
"What's stopping you?" Angie asked, "She's been working here for a full month and you never talk to her; she was actually wondering if you disliked her, considering the way you just stand and stare at her without saying anything." Angie said.
"It's just...it's hard to find the words to say to her - her eyes are like endless pools of priceless gems when I look into them and I lose all the words I had in my head; I just want the chance to have something to talk to her about." Donna said.
"Well, you're gonna get your chance sooner than you think." Angie said.
"What makes you say that?" Donna asked.
"Because it's about to start raining." Angie said with a smirk - if she could smirk.
Sure enough - a sudden heavy rain came from nowhere and drenched [Y/N] who shrieked at the sudden downpour and used her arms to cover her head out of instinct. Donna's body moved too, she ran into the rain and grabbed the gardener by her wrist before pulling her to her feet and running back to the safety of the pouch.
"Whoa, that was sudden. Thank you, Lady Beneviento." [Y/N] said as she bowed to the second lord.
"It's alright." Donna spoke softly, "Are you alright?" she asked.
"Yes, My Lady. I shall be a-a-ACHOO!" [Y/N] covered her nose just in time to keep the sneeze from hitting Donna or Angie.
"My, that sounds that a bad sneeze." Angie giggled.
"I underestimated just how dedicated the Earth is to watering its plants." [Y/N] chuckled to herself before placing her face in her elbow when she felt another sneeze coming on.
"You'll catch a cold in those wet garments. Come, I shall get you warm." Donna said as she held out her hand for [Y/N] to take - the young girl looked up at the lord with a blush creeping across her face before taking Donna's hand and allowing her to lead her into House Beneviento.
[A Few Moments Later]
[Y/N walked down the stairs in the white nightgown Donna allowed her to use while her clothes we soaked to the bone; judging from the sound of the massive downpour hitting the room and perimeter around the house - it was not going to ease up. She looked around to Donna but soon came face to face with the portrait that hung on the wall aligned with the stairs; it was of Donna and Angie but Donna didn't down her veil. [Y/N] kept her eyes upon the portrait, completely taken by the lady's beauty/
"You look comfy!" Angie suddenly appeared in [Y/N]'s face, making her jolt back.
"In the name of Mother Miranda, Ms. Angie; you nearly scared me to death." [Y/N] said as she eyed the doll.
"Sorry about that, I couldn't help myself; you seemed distracted so I took it upon myself to bring you back down the Earth." Angie giggled.
"Well, thank you; I wouldn't have wanted to get lost in the stars." [Y/N] smiled at Angie.
The sound of a door opening caused the two of them to look - Donna came out with a tray containing a pot of tea and two cups on saucers with a flask of creme and a bowl of sugar cups. [Y/N] headed over to Donna and took the tray from her - before placing it on the table where Donna was heading to. The Head and the Gardener sat in silence for a while before making themselves some tea.
"Um..." [Y/N] wasn't sure where to start. "You have a very beautiful home, Lady Beneviento." She said with a blush.
"Thank you." That was all Donna said before sipping her tea again. [Y/N] looked at her for a while before she placed her cup back on the saucer before she swallowed her fear and spoke.
"Lady Beneviento...do you dislike me?" that question made Donna freeze.
"What? No, I don't dislike you. Why would you think such a thing?" Donna's voice was laced in panic.
"It's just...you never talk to be apart from today - you're always distant and I thought..." Donna cut her off.
"It's not that!" Donna said in a rushed voice before she calmed down. "It's not that I don't like you - I do, it's just that I like you more than I should but...I never knew how to approach you. I never knew how to talk to you." Donna said as she looked down at her hands but she gasped when she saw a pair of smaller ones reach across the table and gently took one of hers in a soft embrace.
"I understand, Lady Beneviento; I...feel the same. I was so curious about you and something about you draws me to you. I understand if you wouldn't wish to rush; maybe we could talk? Get to know each other better?" [Y/N] asked with a tilt of her head and a smile.
"I...I would like that." Donna said.
"I'll start - My name is [Y/N] [L/N] and I co-own a flower shop." [Y/N] said with a smile.
"My name is Donna Beneviento and I'm one of the Four Lords of the Romanian Village."
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