#sorry ur tags have me dead:

[imsiriuslyreading]

IM HONOURED 🤭 it wasn’t like it was a chore, are you kidding??

i can’t wait to read the whole thing 🥰😌

I love how the summary is this sweet little snippet, but then the tags say spit for lube jfc

Wrote this one for @waxingrunes and I hope I did it justice for your filthy, depraved mind (your vn & feedback was 😮‍💨)

Also s/o to @imsiriuslyreading for previewing this when I couldn’t figure out if a certain position would work 😀😘🫶🏼🙊

[acourtofquestions]

Rowaelin Chapter 41 Kingdom of Ash:

She'd rebuild it—what she had been.

Perhaps one last time, perhaps only for a little while, but she'd do it. If only for Terrasen.

Rowan swooped from the mast, shifting as he reached her side at the rail. He surveyed the night-black sea beyond them. "You should rest." She slid him a glance. "I'm not tired." Not a lie, not in some regards. "Want to spar?" He frowned. "Training can start tomorrow."

"Or tonight." She held his piercing stare, matched his dominance with her own.

"It can wait a few hours, Aelin."

"Every day counts." Against Erawan, even a day of training would count.

Rowan's jaw tightened. "True," he said at last. "But it can still wait. There are ... there are things we need to discuss." The silent words rose in his animal-bright eyes. About you and me.

Her mouth went dry. But Aelin nodded In silence, they strode into their spacious quarters, its only decoration the wall of windows that overlooked the churning sea behind them. A far cry from a queen's chamber, or any she might have purchased as Adarlan's assassin.

At least the bed built into the wall looked clean enough, the sheets crisp and stainless. But Aelin headed for the oak desk anchored to the floor, and leaned against it while Rowan shut the door.

In the dim lantern light, they stared at each other.

She'd endured Maeve and Cairn; she'd endured Endovier and countless other horrors and losses. She could have this conversation with him. The first step toward rebuilding herself.

Aelin knew Rowan could hear her thundering heart as the space between them went taut. She swallowed once. "Elide and Lorcan told you... told you everything that was said on that beach."

A curt nod, wariness flooding his eyes. "Everything that Maeve said." Another nod.

She braced herself. "That I'm-we're mates."

Understanding and something like relief replaced that wariness. "Yes."

"I'm your mate," she said, needing to voice it. "And you are mine."

Rowan crossed the room, but halted a few feet from the desk on which she leaned. "What of it, Aelin?" His question was low, rough.

"Don't you..." She scrubbed at her face. "You know what she did to you, to ..." She couldn't say her name. Lyria. "Because of it."

"I do know."

"And?"

"And what do you wish me to say?"

She pushed off the desk. "I wish you to tell me how you feel about it. If…"

"If what?"

"If you wish it wasn't so."

His brows narrowed. "Why would I ever wish that?"

She shook her head, unable to answer, and stared over her shoulder toward the sea.

It seemed like he would close the distance between them, but he remained where he was.

"Aelin." His voice turned hoarse. "Aelin."

She looked at him then, at the pain in his words.

"Do you know what I wish?" He exposed his palms, one tattooed, the other unmarked. "I wish that you had told me. When you realized it. I wish you had told me then."

She swallowed against the ache in her throat. "I didn't want to hurt you."

"Why would it ever hurt me to know the truth that was already in my heart? The truth I hoped for?"

"I didn't understand it. I didn't understand how it was possible. I thought maybe ... maybe you might be able to have two mates within a lifetime, but even then, I just ….." She blew out a breath. "I didn't want you to be distressed." His eyes softened. "Do I regret that Lyria was dragged into this, that the cost of Maeve's game was her life, and the life of the child we might have had? Yes. I regret that, and I wish it had never happened." He would bear the tattoo to remember it for the rest of his days. "But none of that was your fault. I will always carry some of the burden of it, always know I chose to leave her for war and glory, and that I played right into Maeve's hands."

"Maeve wanted to ensnare you to get to me, though."

"Then it is her choice, not yours."

Aelin ran a hand over the worn wood of the desk. "In those illusions she spun for me, she showed me variations on one more than all the others." The words were strained, but she forced them out. Forced herself to look at him. "She spun me one dreamscape that felt so real I could smell the wind off the Staghorns."

"What did she show you?" A breathless question.

Aelin had to swallow before she could answer. "She showed me what might have been—if there had been no Erawan, if Elena had dealt with him properly and banished him. If there had been no Lyria, none of that pain or despair you endured. She showed me Terrasen as it would have been today, with my father as king, and my childhood happy, and..." Her lips wobbled. "When I turned twenty, you came with a delegation of Fae to Terrasen, to make amends for the rift between my mother and Maeve. And you and I took one look at each other in my father's throne room, and we knew."

She didn't fight the stinging in her eyes. "I wanted to believe that was the true world. That this was the nightmare from which I'd awaken. I wanted to believe that there was a place where you and I had never known this suffering and loss, where we'd take one look at each other and know we were mates. Maeve told me she could make it so. If I gave her the keys, she'd make it all possible." She wiped at her cheek, at the tear that escaped down it. "She spun me realities where you were dead, where you'd been killed by Erawan and only in handing over the keys to her would I be able to avenge you. But those realities made me ... I stopped being useful to her when she told me you were gone. She couldn't get me to talk, to think. Yet in the ones where you and I met, where things were as they should have been ... that was when I came the closest."

His swallow was audible. "What stopped you?"

She wiped at her face again. "The male I fell in love with was you. It was you, who knew pain as I did, and who walked with me through it, back to the light. Maeve didn't understand that. That even if she could create that perfect world, it wouldn't be you with me. And I'd never trade that, trade this. Not for anything." He extended his hand. An offer and invitation.

Aelin laid hers atop his, and his callused fingers squeezed gently. "I wanted it to be you," he breathed, closing his eyes. "For months and months, even in Wendlyn, I wondered why you weren't my mate instead. It tore me up, wondering it, but I still did." He opened his eyes, and they burned like green fire. "All this time, I wanted it to be you."

She lowered her gaze, but he hooked a thumb and forefinger around her chin and lifted her face.

"I know you are tired, Fireheart. I know that the burden on your shoulders is more than anyone should endure." He took their joined hands and laid them on his heart. "But we'll face this together. Erawan, the Lock, all of it.

"We'll face it together. And when we are done, when you Settle, we will have a thousand years together. Longer."

A small sound came out of her. "Elena said the Lock requires—"

"We'll face it together," he swore again.

"And if the cost of it truly is you, then we'll pay it together. As one soul in two bodies.

Her heart strained to the point of cleaving. "Terrasen needs a king."

"I have no intention of ruling Terrasen without you. Aedion can have the job."

She scanned his face. He meant every word He brushed the hair from her face, his other hand still clasping hers to his chest, where his heart pounded a steady, unfaltering rhythm.

"Even if I had my choice of any dream-realities, any perfect illusions, I would still choose you, too."

She felt the truth of his words echo into the unbreakable thing that bound their very souls, and tilted her face up toward his. But he made no move beyond it.

She frowned. "Why aren't you kissing me?"

"I thought you might want to be asked first."

"That never stopped you before."

"This first time, I wanted to make sure you were ... ready." After Cairn and Maeve. After months of having no choices whatsoever.

She smiled despite that truth. "I'm ready to be kissed again, Prince."

He let out a dark chuckle and muttered, "Thank the gods," before he lowered his mouth to hers.

"You're my mate." Her words were a breathless rush. "And I am yours."

The world might have been burning around them for all she cared, all he cared, too.

"Together, Aelin," he promised, and she heard the rest of the words in every place their bodies joined. Together they would face this, together they would find a way.

Together we'll find a way, their mingling breaths, the crashing sea, seemed to echo.

Together.

[james-spooky]

this is a test

[her-canine-teeth]

bad astrology by flower face

[potatobugz]

i submitted my lovely mouseboy Finnegan for the @ahatintime-oc-competition yesterday :D here is the art i drew 4 them!

for those unaware: he came from a dream i had once involving him and Snatcher But As A Bird; and i sorta just. added onto them from there. they're so sillay

[synqiri]

guess who's gna hv to go to the hospital tmr and probably hv the infected wound surgically removed

[boxwinebaddie]

NINAAAAAAAAAAAA? DO YOU HAVE ANY MORE KYLEYB CONTENT? I LOVE HIM

nOOOOOOOOOOOONICA!

-- and do i EVA, dollface!

( edit: the spelling across the board is non-existent. so sorry. you are morally obligated to be nice to me; i have a tumor. also, my apologies for yesterdays post -- it is gone now *shudders at memory* --

i was very manic and upset and the jerseykyle in me that gets angry, really, really is convinced she can kill god...i do think that's still true, but it was very chaotic and embarassing to be like that on the dash.

but if you are worried about the tumor i am trying to have a ( bad ) sense of humor about, again, it’s benign, noncancerous, very, very small, to the point where it requires no surgery or radiation treatment at this time ( i do have a radiology appointment for another brain scan on the 26th so please keep me in ur thots if you can ) and i just have to cope with a lot of gnarly side effects.

i love you and hope you heal. <333 -the u.n.

so...i wrote this weird ~'thing'~ ( i'm not sure what else to call it ) because i was having a very loose and silly-goosed ( but as always, wonderfully and graciously soul-warming ) converslaytion in the dms

with dearest, darlingest teria ( whose work you should not only read and whose art is not only more immaculate than the piss-and-moan-a-lisa, but whose advice, council and conversation i enthusiastically urge you to enlist because she is truly, a little bit of heaven on earth )

and, i don't know, i was doing the silly kyley b voice for shits and giggles in my texts and...it never...left my brain ( is THAT what gave me the brain worms? ) and i had to write my weird ~'thing'~, which is my boy, THE BUOY, kyley bi-atch! talkin’ to the new kid and givin’ them some street-wise, beat-the-shit-out-of-you-poetic advice.

( if you want it...it's down at the VERY BOTTOM -- everyone say hoooola cuervostan ;) xxx -- of this post...i got weirdly passionate talking about kyley b and jersey in general, so you can read all of that if you WANT...but i'll leave the screenshots after everything, so you can scroll down easily and reach it; also...gender neutral, i promise, just girl-scout-squirrely-whirly nicknames, haha. )

cue a future me leaving this here where i left off:

*unfreezes tv screen and a feral past nina springs to life*

also, i am...so sorry in advance for this, bc, okay, look...

-- does he sound like ball bustin', good fa' nothing pauly d, soprano mobstaH? yeah...yeah he sure does, aND WHATTABOUTIT, BETCH?! ( i'm just kidding, you guys; mwah ) but like...is that not The Vibe?

like? he is not supposed to give your rough and tumble ol buddy nino down at the jewish-italian pizzeria who looks like he would rather fkn blow his brains out that take 'ya ordah' ( but loves his ma and his kid brother, and the counter guy got fkn shived, so there he is baby baby;

-- the worst man on planet earth...

…and The LUVH Of My Loife! )

...who repeatedly calls you 'toots', but he's not really hitting on you, he's just trying to size you up ( also, i love you pre-(ed)isordah jersey, the BIGGEST and the baddiest, baby! ah-baddabingbaddaBOOM! )

and he...( quite literally ) wants you to stay the fuck away from him and get the hell out of his shitty city, and, he is THE KYLEY B, BAY-BEE! he's the curliest, cuntiest, coppa'-ist ( do naaaught, howeva, group him in with the bootlickers, or he'll make you lick his...just so HE can call /YOU/ one...like...he is my BF, do you understA-- )

hooOOoo

( i am sorry; he is...my favorite mwob-buoy-bawhss xx )

but...on the inside, underneath it all, really is...just...a fine and truly beautiful specimen, the meaner he is to you, the more you like him...and...you accidentally fall in love with him ( oooY geVAULT! )

that is...in fact, what sweet, sweet stanley marsh did ( he is a genius and a visionary and I RESPECT THE FUCK OUT OF THAT SCARY BOY CRAZY CRUNCHY KALE SALAD KIIIIIIING; like, he really played The Long Game...AND WON!!! HE FUCKING WON, BABEY!!!! like

i have this pre-rm, childhood headcannon, that ( because he was trying not to say stan's name or acknowledge him -- very interesting to me because that is the Same strategy stan employed when he publicly gave kyle the jersey nickname, bc he knew he could not remain detached/unemotional if he said kyle's name --

that babyjk when he lived in south park regularly just called stan 'bambi' or 'sug' or 'masug'; short for 'masugganah' or crazy in yiddish

because rm!santanastan...

( which is what sharon called him, for the band and just to respect his chosen name, in spanish, without alerting randy's suspicions...i will start crying, i should talk abt the south park era of the rm fbs more )

was just this insane boy with gigantic fucking goldfish, cartoon dear eyes who would approach him when no one else would even DARE, was freshly obsessed with him and thought he was the bees knees.

so, because the reader, reminds him a lot of stan...he starts using those little nicknames and i wanted you to know the rm!origin. yes, he does still call stan 'bamb' and 'sug' ( which is cute, because as a nice pet name he likens it to 'sugar' sometimes, aw ) to this day

and i think, almost did it or actually one time with raven of crimson dawn and stan's gigantic fucking sugar glider eyeballs lit up and kyle was HORRIFIED because oh my god, that was a Stanley Marsh ONLY nickname and i used it on this fucking CELEBRITY MAN...like y'know actually bestie, you are a fucking genius…

— that's Your celebrity man.

BUT BACK TO BACK TO KYLEY B, BAAAAAAAAABEY!

who is the red-(H)ead-BIC of NUEW JOISEY, kid!

like my best description is that he's this fast-twalkin, street rat, night life, mortal ( but not really; he basically thinks he's god ) kombative, fucking feral, ruthless palooka-pummeling, curbstomping, pavement leveling, street-fighting piesa' literal gutta trash, or sort of like if luffy from one piece was a mad swole ( emphasis mad, he's pissed and humungous, holy shit ) scary freckled ginger new jersey pirate king

who ( bc i love a visual ) is typically out there, rocking:

a way too tight ( to the point of it almost being threadbare and rolling paper thin; he looks good tho; he's my lil diamond in da ruff ) worn out, extremely stretched out, skin-tight, faded/distressed

( that's fraying and unspooling in several along the mom-mended and barely held-together seams --sounds like a metaphor for something -- with the distracting curly font almost nearly peeled and cracked off ), probably heavily stained ( with blood...and whatever meager, worm-infested brain matta splattered on his shirt when he was bashing some bigshot's stupid head in with a tire iron -- rip; sorry ma -- sunbleached from scorching nj summers that it's almost...brown ) black affliction tank top

some huge, torn-up, baggy, aggresively rhinestone-studded, heavily sequined ( k.b, it's already so hard to see and street hardened, police siren, rough around the edges radiance is already blinding me, please have mercy [ never not once ] ) mike 'the situation' influenced, super quintessentially 2012 jersey shore adjacent ( in that they're very loud, vibrant, in your face, tacky and obnoxious ) faux americana, tattoo parlor-popularized, badly screenprinted, ed hardy jeans ( eyeconick! )

the M-o-s-t ( sigh ) hideous ( and i do mean fucking hideous, sheila broflovski is fashion blind; but she is so beautiful and kind, she is forgiven in every way ) men's size thirteen ( jersey has frighteningly large, monster-sized clown feet ) highlighter green-orange-purple basketball shoes you've ever seen

-- purchased, with love, from the sale rack of ross for dress for less ( where they were collecting dust; no one wanted those things ) and her widely amassment of store credit from...numerous previous returns ) by none other than, my favorite beehive-styling, cherry-red, new jersey hauswife, legendary broflovski matriarch ( she rlly runs that whole fkn house like the navy; choke gerald )

Miss Sheila Broflovski...

the only person who is not scared of the notorious k.m.b. kyley b and routinely, while they're out in public, ft. a baby-faced, mean-mugging kyley b jersey acting all big and bad, will pull him down by the tag of his tank top, go 'you've got some schmutz on your face, bubbula!'

hold down this gigantic, vicious, snarling, menacing, thick as brick, hard as titanium, six foot tall, juvenile detention center frequenting, frightening concrete wall of an eighteen year old boy who looks like he could gut you with his stare alone, like he's a cute, cuddly teddy bear, hawk the loudest, wettest, gnarliest lougie into a schmatta she fished out of her purse and proceed to volently scrub a tiny spot of 'sahwasce' her son's face while he squirms like a feral cat; i love her. )

and the crowning jewels ( or jewels really; not sure if they're real, but they're big and shiny, which is what matters ) duel-ery, which i call that because…

he literally weaves his way through the back-door inner-city system of crime in new jersey through info he mercilessly squeezed out of a coupla peabrained Gabbagoons, uses what little information he could decipher out of those fkn weasel's pathetic wheezes to deadpool square to wherever their bosses lair is…

makes them regret they were even born, beats them with in AN INCH of their sorry life, leaves them lying in a pool of their own gross blood, stamps a big, blingy 'B' on their forehead and browses the shattered, blood-soaked display case and five-finger discounts ( but really, if you just won a major battle or boss fight; clearly, you deserve kind of reward or compensation, right, guys? and by his logic...you're not rlly stealing what quite morally wrong, but rightfully...belongs to you )

...whatever the largest and most impressive ( or not, tbh, sometimes he's like 'ugh, really...a toe ring? that's your big come up?' ) piece of jewelry they're wearing is, sterlizes it, and flexes it it on his body and on the streets as a silent, but deadly warning to all other 'so-called' king pens and 'unstoppable' underground crime lords that

'oh, that guy YOU were scared of? i beat the piss outta him, he cried like a fucking baby, he bled like a stuck pig and is lying in the fucking sewer like a half-dead rat. and if you fuck with me; you'll be next ) and scare legit 60 y/o robert deniro level frightening men, who have been running the game since the crimson dawn of time…

-- Into SUBMISSION.

...at like...seventeen or eighteen years old.

LIKE HE IS A FUCKING LEGEND IN NEW JERSEY. they still whisper about him TO THIS DAY and have to look over their shoulders before they do...like he was that fucking Terrifying when he was out there.

and i need you to know that he is H-U-G-E. like the incredible hulk HUGE. he's not like, this scrawny, gangly, sniveling little ginger vanilla wafer cookie rolling up on you...he is like, this six foot two, gigantic size thirteen shoe wearing, slim-jim-ripping, gum and fist snacking,

NFL FOOTBALL FIELD PLAYER WIDE, like not just some measly, tiny-itsy bitsy football player -- oh, no; you wish -- he is STACKED AND JACKED, he is ten times wider than the widest receiver...he is the WHOLE DAMN FOOTBALL FIELD BITCH, fkn might-o-chrondia ( because he is the new jersey powerhouse of the concrete and hard titanium juvenille deliquient cell, which shakes when he walks, bro. )

tldr; KYLEY B IS FRECKLY, JEWISH, GINGER, NEW JERYSIAN 'THE THING' FROM THE FANTASTIC FOUR, COULD VERY EASILY BODY YOU, OR VIOLENTLY DISMEMBER AND KILL YOU AND MAKE THAT SHIT LOOK LIKE L-I-G-H-T WORK. AND I MEAN THAT.

but...he actually, believe it or not, does NOT...Kill People?

which, i honestly want to say, is stanley marsh's gentle 'post-mortem' pacifist influence still lingering around him like the sweetest ghost.

because, honestly, i think a lot of those people deserve to fucking die, not just for being extremely fucking cruel to jerseykyle for literally just existing, for how he looks of all things, his fucking APPERANCE!

( it's the teacher in me, but child and adolescent bullying, particularly in school settings, really makes me viciously angry and very, Very fucking sad because it causes soooo much psychological damage to the victim, who most likely did nothing to warrant such incessant and merciless taunting -- that was probably perpetrated because he was whip-smart, and therefore a fucking nerd, significantly larger than other boys, wore glasses, has a 'funny', loud, cartoonish voice...

( which is simply...a dialect and manner of speaking that he literally developed from growing up in new jersey and from his mother teaching him how to talk -- that shouldn't at all diminish the weigh his words carry or the meaning behind them; which, minus...a little...or a lot, of potty-mouthed sailor swearing -- which, again, only fucking happened because he was so viciously bullied, he had to adopt a harsh, slangy, malicious vernacular -- is often extremely profound, academic and reflects a very introspective perspective )

and because he's immunocompromised, had to report to the nurse's office frequently throughout the day to prick his finger and check his blood pressure for his diabetes and is often, very, very sick -- which i guess makes other kids view him as weak, but most damningly was that...he didn't fit into the mold ( or, uh, most traditional size ranges, sheila only bought him clothes from the 'big and tall' men's section of most department stores because he was so Large in stature,

like he could not squeeze into child-sized...anything; meanwhile ravenstan has itsy, bitsy baby feet and could probably slide his non-existent ass -- you are so sexy king, i love you, you needed a flaw -- into a pair of the largest sized black pair of skinny jeans they got on the racks of the junior girls section of target...like, he could and he would look damn Good too! like go AWHFF king!

HES SOOO BAD! i need to focus, but before i do~

btw; rs definitely sent jk a picture to laff. he was like damn, i am sorry it won't load; will you send five more from different angles? HELP )

but, anyways, my lifetime horny writer girl max security prison sentence aside ( and pending ), he just wasn't traditionally thin or tiny or conventionally attractive or healthy like most other boys or children and general were..so the other kids, probably ring-leaded by the most convention of the bunch, othered him, dedicated making every single day of his life miserable and made his life a living hell...

...just to have a little 'fun' at recess and laugh.

FUCK. THAT.

because, i don't know, bullying like that, creates what are usually painful lifelong feelings of self-inferiority, very difficult to remedialize through therapy and selfcare, social emotional issues with expressing yourself/emotions in healthy positive ways, militant self-isolation

and ALL of that happened to jerseykyle...and on top of just never hearing 'i love you' from his father, that hate he received from the outside world, forced him the keep everything inside and it's why he couldn't tell ravenstan he loved him, because basketball is just a game,

...but it never FUCKING ended and he could only alternate between being defensive or offensive, there was never a bell that sounded to tell him he could stop playing and that it was over, and return to 'normal', that was his normal, because, from all his overwhelming negative experiences with vulnerability, if he stopped treading water, every shark on planet earth would smell his blood in the water...

and spill it everywhere. :(

NINA, DID YOU HAVE A POINT? AND WERE YOU EVER GONNA GET THERE? i...think so? i think the point is that, these are bad people that kyley kg fucking b was putting the hurt on...and the point is that, because, like i said, he considers himself a 'debt collector' and appears villainous bc of his vicious disposition,

is really more like...

a misunderstood antihero than anything?

he's kind of like a red robin hoodie, if you will, because he goes after rapists, child molesters, guys who hurt women/animals/the weak, power-hungry bastards in suits who use that power for evil and take it out on those who are stricken with poverty, like, he is a violent criminal...but he takes out even More violent criminals.

hot boy shit!

and yeah, he does do it sort of vaingloriously sometimes, for street cred, to wear people's status symbols on his hand and placate that hurt place in himself by being scary and ferocious and making motherfuckers pay for what they did for him and how they treated him...and with all that blood in his eyes, he gets blind to the ethical portion of what he's doing...but, subconsciously...

he's doing it...

— For GOOD.

and killing people, the notion of it, not only made stanley marsh, punk rock pacifist prince, violently, violently sick, but it's also, one, too messy, a lot on his hands ( already quite heavy with his heisted and thieved jewels and video game loot ) but...i don't know? he really loves his mom, you know? batshit insane as that woman is, he loves her to death...and does spare bad-guys because of it. because everyone has a mom and not everyone's mom is kind and lovely like his, but they could...and he's sending their kid back home to them...

...in a [ BOX ].

it just...it didn't sit right with him ( he acts unbothered by the idea of murdering people...but, unless he had to, like if it was going to kill someone else and the only way to fix it would be to kill the thing about to kill them, he could do it, and again...he could do it easily. )

he also acts simultaneously above the 'laur' and studies it in school, but ultimately...what happens to this fuck-ups after he fucks them up...is not up to him. whether they live or die, that is. he gave them what was coming to them...and the rest is up to someone else.

and i won't get into it too much ( A LIE; but i have like 74937403 other blurbs about this in my drafts, i should not ferally release all that insanity in here ) but it's interesting...because rm!jersey, loses a lot of that subconscious 'good' in the process of being 'bad'.

because, after his drastic kyley b transformation into ivy league jersey, he, for the first time, is being noticed in a 'positive' way by people on the outside and he's getting 'positive' attention from them, and he feels...for once, powerful — even though, really, he's essentially rendered powerless and is chained to the approval of these people and destroys himself every moment of everyday...to be in a pretty, and small, and palatable package for them...

( yes, i want k*ll myself. )

but he BECOMES the very EVIL that he was hellbent on destroying and starts doing EXACTLY what those people did to him. and because he is so unhappy and morose and hurt and devastated, he finds outsiders, weak people, but mostly, just looks...happy? :((((

…unbothered, merely existing...and decides

to psychologically debase and torture every drop of happiness from that individual, to make his self esteem better and make him feel like, good, i am so much better than that miserable worm, squirming away, squinting at the light it once basked in...

now it can be as insufferable and small...

— As I Am. </3

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH. BROTHERS, THIS SHIT MAKES ME SO SAD. I AM SOOOOO UPSET LOL.

NOOOOOO--

and they're both brutal, kyley b and jerseykyle ( who, really, do need that distinction because they are...VERY different ) jersey, one, is far worse than kyley b, i don't CARE if he could twist your intestined into rope and hang you with them...the things that jerseykyle can say, as the most beautiful man EVER, Using That Voice,

looking at you with the most disgust and contempt and unworthiness you've ever felt and completely debase you in a couple crisp, dififnued, academic words...and not touch you a single time, bc you're pathetic and beneath him...you can heal a broken bone in a couple weeks...but your mind? your heart? your self esteem?

your once…wealthy, healthy feelings of self worth?

when jerseykyle reduces you into ash with his eyes, when your body was a temple and he burns it down, like somehow, it will make his stronger where he feels weak and helpless or like it will some how vindicate stanley marsh...it is very, very, very difficult to make that rubble into a city again. like...that man will RUIN YOU LIFE.

( pleaaaAasee kiss me!!! pICK ME CHOOSE MESHSJ )

but jersey is scary in a very...bone-chilling, below-freezing, self-pleasing, self-destructive ( but in a more subtle, seemingly artistic, less 'unhand me, you big brute, ya no-good palooka' kind of way...

and, instead, it's this twisted, muted, shadowy…

...oh wow, you...really are the devil in a fresh pressed suit, college student siren who leads boys to their untimely demise, and drains them of their lifeforce in his bedroom they way he would a dry glass of wine or a cheap bodega cigarettes like in a tasteful, snake charmer kind of way...a dark academic, sleek, chic, fuck-and-succubus way )

like jerseykyle is a very pretentious, jane austenatcious, bond villian type of self-destructive...that revolves around mentally preying on the weak/innocent...because he hates himself and wants literally everyone to hate themselves more than him...so he can like himself.

and when he guts you its, in a mentally incapacitant, poisonous, cruel and insidious way, in a...classically trained, philosophical, fashionable, was...in the way a thorn on the most beautiful rose you've ever seen would gut you...or a delicate antique letter opener...might slash your palm open, gash you and bleed you dry...

whereas kyley b was a faaaar less tasteful or restrained ( in that sense but jersey is still unhinged ) destroyer of worlds...he was very hands on, ( jerseykyle will not touch you unless he has to, he'll only punch you if you will not shut the fuck up and touch you as little and impersonally as possible to sleep with you…which is ironic, i know )

kyley b is a very fast and loose, wild animal, loose canon, carnivorous 'i'll slice ya and dice ya and put ya on ice ya' and beat you until you are bloody and unrecognizable...but on the inside...

he's just this...Frightened Little Animal. :(

who hurts you because he is scared you will reach for him, and when you put food in your palm, bites it because he's scared it's a trick.

aaaaaaaaaaaaah....idk he is my special little man.

okay, shutting the fuck up now HERE IS YOUR SNIPPET:

( edit: LAMBORGHINI MERCY, ITS LONG; LO SIENTO! )

GOOD LUCK, BAMBI. </3 ;-;

( just a...branch in my eye. ) i also was worried about the nicknames being a little too...'fem...inine-ish?' which, i glawhSSED on earlier, but wrote this little extra dialogue as an example using all the little satana stan nicknames ( aw ) because i am gonna be honest, it's gender neutral and not personal, he'd tell you, straight up -- my man always keeps it one-hunna and 100% kosh, ketzele; --

something like:

'ya can throw daisy chains ova a pile of cowshit aaaaaalll you want, masug; but no matta how ya dress it up, when alls said and done; and all those pretty flowers keel ova' and die...all your fine exteria design... fuck: what's cityslicka for 'useless, fancy schmanchy holy crappola' uhhh...your...dainty lil'tle 'floral achootrama' or whateva';

gesundheit.

...means fuck awhll in new jersey, 'cause the freakin' se-wer systems! ( manure, really ) like all the people, are all totally wasted, loaded and gunked-up with broken needles, instant spray tan and crushed up cred cans; wow, golly gee whiz, dory. so...you mean to tell me...my whole life...is all a buncha crud, huh?

o-oh, no, shit i might cr--

HA! gotcha, sensodyne! cause one man's trash...is another man's treasure...and you better get comfy and rest your goddamn laurels on a street corner where a prostitute isn't going to give you freakin' hepatisis mauling ya for struting your stuff on her turf...

cause this, outta townie...

— is your new home sweet home. ;)

...wonderful little joint, ain't it? you should see when it's all lit up with gang violence...that'll really jumpstart your heart, sug. it's, uh, kinda like fireworks...if they were fucking HORRIBLE and KILLED YA.

so...and i'll talk real slow, because i'm not sure i speak malibu freakin' barbie: h-e-r-e....in...hoebroken, ( that's where we are...in case you forgot, bamb; don't look so scared, honey; the junkies will only give ya little nibble; not too many teeth there otherwise. or, uh, oxygen flowin' to the ole cranium, they're basically harmless! uh...not him. staaaaaaaaaay, the hell away away from him, sug. aY, YOUSE! SNAP CRACKLE POP! KEEP YOUR FKN DISTANCE OR I'LL CAP YA BI--

basically; v.i.p., between you...and me, there's crap...on crap...on --wait! could it be--oh no, just more CRAP lined from the rock bottom of nj all the way up to the ny-sea to shining sea skyline ( might be our fault, but the fuckin' big city biddies and hoity-freakin-toitys out there can hoof it a little; by that, i mean horse shit; fuck 'em. uh, no offense, bam. ) i shot that one outta the park a little,

ball-point is:

it's backed allllll the way...TA HELL. which, might even be kinda, uh, nice...well, compared to this fuckin' trash compacta. so take a good, long, whiff sweetheart; ‘cause here? everybody's shit stinks...

— even yours, princess.

which—OOH.

es-Specially, yours.

ever heard of a shower? you r-e-e-k."

hEEEEEEEEEEEEEELP THATS MY BOOOOOOOOOOOYFRIEND! look at him!!!! I MISS HIM EVERYDAY; KYLEY 'IF YOU AIN'T MAKIN' MONEY, TAKE! YA! BROKE! ASS! OUTTA! HOE(BOKEN)! BEFORE I BREAK IT SOMEMORE, BREAK IT SOMEMORE...(B)-I T C H!"

like and suuuuuuUUubSCRRIIIBE~

-uncle nina, the gay kyley lGBea(t)in'theshitouttayaBETCH agenda

[edsheerankinnie]

Being a swiftie rn is so hard like. Maybe you are Wretched. Maybe you are Fearsome. Maybe you are Wrong.

@taylorswift SPEAK NOW🍉🇵🇸

[princessmyriad]

Oh so queen gib is fucken easy as shit if you do literally any preparation huh

[waloeders]

think imma add rian to my names list too :33

[cherry-colored-petals]

Context: me and Esther (@mixed-kester) were discussing about our yanderes from Ansy's Pen Pal event on @throwaway-yandere (gonna fix the tag with it soon oops)

Anyways I think Esther doesn't want to be with Dorian but I am perfectly fine with not having Wanderer yet hahahaha God help me if he finds out—

[pygmi-says-hi]

STOP DOING THIS IN INJURY FICS!!

Bleeding:

Blood is warm. if blood is cold, you’re really fucking feverish or the person is dead. it’s only sticky after it coagulates.

It smells! like iron, obv, but very metallic. heavy blood loss has a really potent smell, someone will notice.

Unless in a state of shock or fight-flight mode, a character will know they’re bleeding. stop with the ‘i didn’t even feel it’ yeah you did. drowsiness, confusion, pale complexion, nausea, clumsiness, and memory loss are symptoms to include.

blood flow ebbs. sometimes it’s really gushin’, other times it’s a trickle. could be the same wound at different points.

it’s slow. use this to your advantage! more sad writer times hehehe.

Stab wounds:

I have been mildly impaled with rebar on an occasion, so let me explain from experience. being stabbed is bizarre af. your body is soft. you can squish it, feel it jiggle when you move. whatever just stabbed you? not jiggly. it feels stiff and numb after the pain fades. often, stab wounds lead to nerve damage. hands, arms, feet, neck, all have more motor nerve clusters than the torso. fingers may go numb or useless if a tendon is nicked.

also, bleeding takes FOREVER to stop, as mentioned above.

if the wound has an exit wound, like a bullet clean through or a spear through the whole limb, DONT REMOVE THE OBJECT. character will die. leave it, bandage around it. could be a good opportunity for some touchy touchy :)

whump writers - good opportunity for caretaker angst and fluff w/ trying to manhandle whumpee into a good position to access both sites

Concussion:

despite the amnesia and confusion, people ain’t that articulate. even if they’re mumbling about how much they love (person) - if that’s ur trope - or a secret, it’s gonna make no sense. garbled nonsense, no full sentences, just a coupla words here and there.

if the concussion is mild, they’re gonna feel fine. until….bam! out like a light. kinda funny to witness, but also a good time for some caretaking fluff.

Fever:

you die at 110F. no 'oh no his fever is 120F!! ahhh!“ no his fever is 0F because he’s fucking dead. you lose consciousness around 103, sometimes less if it’s a child. brain damage occurs at over 104.

ACTUAL SYMPTOMS:

sluggishness

seizures (severe)

inability to speak clearly

feeling chilly/shivering

nausea

pain

delirium

symptoms increase as fever rises. slow build that secret sickness! feverish people can be irritable, maybe a bit of sass followed by some hurt/comfort. never hurt anybody.

ALSO about fevers - they absolutely can cause hallucinations. Sometimes these alter memory and future memory processing. they're scary shit guys.

fevers are a big deal! bad shit can happen! milk that till its dry (chill out) and get some good hurt/comfort whumpee shit.

keep writing u sadistic nerds xox love you

ALSO I FORGOT LEMME ADD ON:

YOU DIE AT 85F

sorry I forgot. at that point for a sustained period of time you're too cold to survive.

pt 2

also please stop traumadumping in the notes/tags, that's not the point of this post. it's really upsetting to see on my feed, so i'm muting the notifs for this post. if you have a question about this post, dm me, but i don't want a constant influx of traumatic stories. xox

[buddyapologist]

sry for all the txt posts but i just remembered that line from stranger things s2 where hopper is leaving a note for eleven that says "i'm not mad, i'm just sorry" and im just. fucking essay in the tags

[causenessus]

ummm I ran out of tag space again and I even had to delete a tag so I could put this in my favorites 😭 I WAS NOT DONE TALKING BUT TUMBLR HAS SILENCED ME BUT RAHH THIS IS SO GOOD I'M SO EXCITED FOR IT!!!

GET BACK INTRODUCTIONS: hinata support group

masterlist

YOU HAVE ONE NEW MESSAGE

kawa (14:14:43): can't believe ur leaving south america kawa (14:15:23): beautiful south america smh kawa (14:15:55): listening to one beer....our song...dont u remember

extras!

hinata's delusional <3

he understands that yn might be mad at him but thinks that one good healthy talk will have them picking up where they left off

kageyama was asked to help but he said "who's yn"

they were not super close in high school lmafo

situation was worse than everyone thought they all assumed they had maintained some sort of communication from how optimistic hinata is

taglist: @wyrcan @thechaosoflonging @bedeater @deluluforcarlos55 @localgaytrainwreck @cherrypieyourface @httpakkeiji @does-directions @needtoloveoutloud @causenessus @ujisworld @kawaii-angelanne @thatonecroc @v1oletfury @lonesomedrive @guitarstringed-scars @ahdbodhr @nbcvs @garfieldissocool @shoyobub @iheartpinky @choerry-picking @mollyrolls @yogurtkags @yuminako @rockleeisbaeeee @michivrse @19calicos @bailey-reeds @staileykout @kitskasoboring @iluvaquaphor @lllaw @loveelylacey @atsumuenthusiast @alpha-mommy69 @acowboykisser @milesmoralesluvs @3lectraheart (temporarily opening the taglist overnight, closing it again the morning, fill out this form to be added, it is the only way to be added)

[mclqren]

CAR TALK ★ LS2

PAIRING ✦ logan sargeant x fem!youtuber!reader

SUMMARY ✦ on your youtube channel, you post q&a's in your car, and your most recent guest has people speculating about the two of you. [ SMAU ]

WARNINGS ✦ cursing

NOTES ✦ reader lives in america for the purpose of this fic. i know the car doesn't like the same in all of the pictures but that's the best i could do ahaha. the fc i've used is kiana davis, but feel free to picture whoever you want! my requests are open so feel free to leave a request :)

━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━

liked by emmachamberlain, yourbsf, and 582,899 others

yourusername first 'car talk' episode of 2024 is pending...🏎️

view all comments

user1 the weekly episodes of car talk have been severely missed this winter vacation.

user2 SO REALLL i've been needing y/n back on my screen

user3 she is actually so perfect it's scary

user4 idc we needdd a car talk x chicken shop date crossover asap

yourusername @/ameliadimz thoughts??

ameliadimz we can look into this 👀

user5 OKAY BUT CAN WE TALK ABOUT THE CAPTION?? THE RACECAR??

user6 she HASSS to be interviewing some f1 driver.

emmachamberlain YUMMYYYY

yourusername 😍😍

yourbsf MY BEST FRIENDDD!!

yourusername ALWAYSSS

liked by logansargeant, yourbsf, and 552,110 others

yourusername 'car talk' ep 1 of 2024 coming this saturday 👀🏎️

view all comments

user8 IT'S DEF A F1 DRIVERRR THE SHIRT IS A DEAD GIVEAWAY

user9 oh ABSOLUTELY

user10 her facecardddd oh my gosh

user11 been missing your videos queen!

user12 okay but like which f1 driver do we think it is??

user13 crazy thing is she has like five or six of them following her/in her likes right now, so it could technically be any of them

liked by logansargeant, alex_albon, and 622,110 others

tagged logansargeant

yourusername 'car talk' ft logan sargeant out now!! one of my favorite episodes i've filmed so far ❤️

view all comments

user18 WOWWW IT WAS LOGAN THE ENTIRE TIME??

user19 I KNOWWW

user20 yall's chemistry was through the roof. i was sweating just watching the episode

alex_albon 👀

user21 LMAOOO ALEX WHAT DO YOU KNOW

logansargeant Best driver/farm animal expert/youtuber 🙌

yourusername yessirrrr ❤️

user22 HELP NOT ALL OF Y/N'S PROFESSIONS

user23 he had to make sure he got all of them in

liked by yourusername, alex_albon, and 100,298 others

tagged yourusername

logansargeant Thanks again to the crazy lady who drove me around the city, almost killed me in the process, asked intrusive questions about my life and took me to visit a farm. Had a blast 🏆

view all comments

user24 HIM CALLING Y/N OUT FOR HER DRIVING HELPPP

user25 why do i actually kinda ship them...

user26 no ur so real for this.

yourusername you're so welcome!! ( i'm at ur door for mentioning my driving abilities )

logansargeant I'LL TAKE IT BACK SORRY

alex_albon 👀

user27 HIM COMMENTING THE SAME THING ON BOTH THEIR POSTS I'M CREASING

liked by logansargeant, yourbsf, and 533,002 others

yourusername brb, currently escaping to dc 👋

view all comments

user29 why is she the most perfect girl everrrr

user30 LITERAL MODEL.

user31 logan has now taken his spot as permanent liker of y/n's posts

user32 is it just me who wants to see logan & y/n together again??

user33 NOT JUST YOU!!

logansargeant Maybe you should come down to Florida sometime??🙌

user34 LOGAN SHOOTING HIS SHOTTT

user35 @/user34 or they could just be friends?? 🤷‍♀️

user36 @/user35 let us be delusional please.

yourbsf photography creditsss??

yourusername yes yes all to you!

liked by logansargeant, emmachamberlain, and 544,110 others

yourusername back on the move ✈️

view all comments

user40 RIGHT BEFORE THE SEASON STARTS ASW??

user41 i smell a bahrain visit!!

user42 okay but her hair is my most favorite thing everrr

alex_albon 👀

user43 MR ALBON BACK W THE EYESSS

user44 WHAT DOES HE KNOW.

logansargeant 🙌❤️❤️

liked by yourusername

liked by yourusername, alex_albon, and 144,671 others

tagged yourusername

logansargeant Bahrain ✔️ Girlfriend ✔️ Mission Accomplished ✔️

view all comments

user47 "mission accomplished" THE PLAN HAS BEEN BREWINGG

user48 FINALLY MY FAVSSS

user49 crazy car guy x even crazier car lady is my new favourite trope

user50 SO REAL FOR THISSS

alex_albon already knew this'd happen 🤷‍♂️

logansargeant So you've mentioned!!

user51 he's been trying to help yall out AS HE SHOULD.

yourusername be glad i didn't kill you that time i took you driving, otherwise you never would've gotten to ask me to be your girlfriend. ❤️❤️

logansargeant Thankful every day 🙏

liked by logansargeant, lilymhe, and 655,224 others

tagged logansargeant

yourusername new car talk episode incoming this time with my BOYFRIENDDD 🥳🥳

user52 THEY'RE THE CUTESTTT

user53 she looks so happy omg

user54 if you hurt her logan we're all after you. 😁

yourbsf so im a third wheel now??

yourusername nahh he can third wheel us bbg 😉😉

lilymhe ANOTHER FEMALE IN THE WILLIAMS PADDOCK THANK YOU LORD

yourusername i'll make you my latest car talk victim 😍

lilymhe sign me upppp!!

user55 im sensing a double date car talk incoming

user56 'the eyes, chico. they never lie' @ logan in the second picture

yourusername @/logansargeant LOOLLLL WISHING I MADE THIS THE CAPTION

logansargeant My fav ex-farm employee ❤️

yourusername still prefer the sheep to you ❤️❤️

━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━

[dannyricsmirrorball]

opposite • aa23 ੈ✩‧₊˚

she looks nothing like me so why do you look so happy? now I think I get the cause of it, you were holding out to find the opposite.

ੈ✩‧₊˚ pairings || alex albon x singer!reader, alex albon x lily muni he

ੈ✩‧₊˚ genre || social media au

ੈ✩‧₊˚ summary || based on sabrina carpenter's opposite. after an abrupt break up, alex begins to show of his new relationship while reader reflects on their relationship.

alt. he was holding out to find the opposite

ੈ✩‧₊˚ warning || sad, kind of alex hate but also not idk

ੈ✩‧₊˚ a/n || ok ok first ever alex fic i hope u guys like! also absolutely no lily hate, she’s my fave fr but anything that seems like lily hate is just plot purpose i love her! i also never use blonde face claims but for the purpose of the song narrative i thought it made sense x

liked by georgerussell63, alex_albon, and 198,028 others

yourusername 😋

tagged alex_albon

username34 the cutest couple evaaaaa

williamsracing our favourites💙

⤷ yourusername love you admin

username72 mum&dqd frfr

carmenmmundt linda 🩵

alex_albon candid 😍

⤷ yourusername fuck off

georgerussell63 resorting to shirtless pics. shameless albono 😦

⤷ alex_albon taking a page out of your book georgie

⤷ yourusername im not complaining 🙃

liked by williamsracing, logansargeant, and 109,992 others

yourusername recent flicks

tagged alex_albon

username71 y/n in the studio!!!

⤷ username18 are we finally getting new music?!

francisca.cgomes 😍😍😍

username2 alex on the vespa w his helmet 😫

landonorris ugly shoe twins

⤷ yourusername ugly papaya twins @oscarpiastri

⤷ oscarpiastri wtf-

rachelzegler u finally got ur ass back in the studio 🌟

carmenmmundt eres hermosa 🩷

⤷ yourusername 😘😘😘

alex_albon my beautiful girl

⤷ yourusername gag

⤷ alex_albon ig ill just fuck off then

⤷ yourusername also so you are on ur phone…

⤷ alex_albon my phone is on dnd baby 😩

liked by charles_leclerc, albon_pets, and 309,028 others

alex_albon lately with my lady 😋

tagged yourusername

username17 albon winning everyday

francisca.cgomes run away with me @yourusername

⤷ yourusername im coming baby

⤷ username10 fork found in kitchen

danielricciardo albon.jpg when?

username4 she’s so cutieful

username12 height difference 😫

username6 backwards cap alex u do things to me

liked by yourusername

yourusername this is really sweet ☹️

⤷ alex_albon gag

f1 the dynamic duo of our dreams 🏎️🎤

liked by username8, username91, and 24,098 others

f1updates happy 6 year anniversary to our fave couple!

tagged alex_albon, yourusername

username1 holy shit SIX YEARS?!

username23 all the people who said she’s only with him for money and fame finding out she’s been with him since b4 f1 and they’ve known eachother since high school

⤷ username4 he dropped out so…?

⤷ username23 sorry i should’ve clarified i meant like teenagers bc it was when y/n was in high school, they met bc her brother did karting with alex

username46 alex and his peace sign are unstoppable

username3 their height difference has moved me

⤷ username8 tall bf and his 3x🍎 tall gf

username61 betting on a 💍 this year

⤷ username43 same they’re sooo endgame

username12 if they break up love is dead

liked by georgerussell63, patrickh_coach, and 450,982 others

alex_albon happy anniversary bunny 🐰❤️

tagged yourusername

comments have been limited by creator

yourusername love u loser

yourusername my honey bear 🥰

⤷ alex_albon your duality

liked by francisca.cgomes, susiewolff, and 309,092 others

yourusername happy anniversary to my favourite person, six years around the sun with the love of my life. to the person who makes me laugh and smile,, i will never stop writing songs about my eternal muse. to forever with you ❤️

tagged alex_albon

username81 oh god i’ve never felt more single

carmenmmundt my faves ❤️

username9 parentssss

francisca.cgomes happy anniversary to the most talented brilliant amazing wonderful person i know and her chauffeur 💝

georgerussell63 how’ve you dealt with him for that long? 😳

⤷ yourusername he’s been your boyfriend much longer x

username8 i will never stop writing songs about my eternal muse GOD WHEN IS IT MY TURN

⤷ username71 oh to be y/n y/l/n’s muse

username44 SIX YEARS?! i remember her first tour when she adjusted all the dates to follow the f2 calendar 🥹

username02 wish my camera roll looked like that

⤷ williamsracing ours lowkey does 😅

albon_pets happy anniversary y/n🐰 and alex 🐼! let’s get nandos to celebrate ❣️

natalie_pinkham question finally popped?! 😍

⤷ yourusername not yet! hahaha

⤷ username19 six years and no ring…

username92 come on albono put a ring on it

username7 don’t know how albon pulled it off but he better lock it down soon

username5 bro propose already

username42 i feel bad for y/n

⤷ username16 she should cut her losses

username16 how has he not gotten down on one kneee yet jesus

username63 STILL NOT RING?

2 weeks later

liked by carmenmmundt, luisinhaoliveira99, and 320,828 others

yourusername know it’s for the better 🫤

username71 waiting room lyrics? i fear parents have divorced

username23 do we think they broke up?

⤷ username63 don’t even joke lad

username11 have they broken up?

username17 they haven’t posted or been seen together and they unfollowed… i think it’s over

phoebebridgers 🩶

luisinhaoliveira99 pretty girl ❤️‍🔥

username45 she’s in the studio so on the up side new music?

⤷ username12 remember when she said no more break up songs bc shes over the past and has nothing to be sad about in her relationship welp

francisca.cgomes banger song…

⤷ yourusername tiktok fix you mashup is even better 🙃

username27 NOOO THIS IS NOT FOR THE BETTER

username3 all i can think of is y/n commenting about the coldplay remix bc like “tears stream down your face when you lose something you can not replace”

⤷ username81 gonna end it all

liked by williamsracing, landonorris, and 309,727 others

alex_albon abu dhump ✌️out team ✌️we UP

tagged williamsracing

landonorris she broke

⤷ alex_albon 🤣

⤷ username1 wtf.

⤷ username17 this is not the same man that said y/n was the light of his life and sometimes the only good thing about it

username17 all men are the same.

username13 i reckon he’s salty y/n wouldn’t wait for him to be ready

username6 u were meant to be different ALEX

username52 could commit to a six year relationship but not marrying her… yeah ok

username17 yeah YOUR up

georgerussell63 congrats on the season mate must’ve had a great support system 🙂

⤷ username10 man is livid

⤷ username67 he’s basically lost one of his closest friends bc his best friend strung her along for over half a decade

⤷ username2 hmm i agree obviously it seems alex was the reason they broke up but acting like he didn’t love y/n is kinda crazy

liked by landonorris, yukitsunoda0511, and 450,029 others

alex_albon tis the sea-sun 🎅

landonorris all those bags for one?

⤷ alex_albon don’t pack light 😉

⤷ username82 there’s no fucking way

username81 guys it’s probably just a friend lol

username15 weird but ok

username17 they broke up let him move on 🙄

⤷ username27 two weeks ago…

username09 rip

username8 no way he’s already moved on

username27 guys this could just be a friendly trip like there are other people there as well

username61 y/n’s gone MIA and alex is out posting his thai land holiday

⤷ username7 people process things in different ways

liked by emmaraducanu, alex_albon, and 120,982 others

lilymhe 📍🇹🇭

username81 this is the girl in alex’s post?

username11 pretty!

username23 liked by alex albon…

username09 slaying the off season 😍

username7 who is this girl?

⤷ username4 she’s an american pro golfer in the lpga

carmenmmundt 😍

⤷ username71 rip parents are divorced and i think alex got gr and carmen

liked by lilymhe, landonorris, and 309,091 others

alex_albon new year new goals

username45 new year new gf lol

username6 albon tryna soft launch?

landonorris simp

username11 i wonder how y/n feels…

⤷ username3 this has to be a blow to the heart

⤷ username17 hope she has him blocked

williamsracing ready for the new szn albono 💙

username11 lily wearing his helmet ☹️

⤷ username4 same one y/n used to use…

⤷ username88 how do u know it’s her

⤷ username13 just guessing

username18 fucking hell

username61 and they told me people grieve in different ways…

liked by carmenmmundt, alexandrasaintmleux, and 408,928 others

yourusername happy new year 🌟 been locked in the studio 🤍

username72 girl tryna play it cool but the tolerate it lyrics giving her away fr

username25 SIX YEARS

username42 she’s been locked in the studio while alex is out soft launching his new relationship lol

⤷ username7 new album about to hit

francisca.cgomes dress 😍

username61 “some boys take a beautiful girl and hide her away from the rest of the world”…

username7 some people making it sound like alex never lived y/n

⤷ username63 no i think it’s that he seemed to love we so much but his actions compared to y/n are very odd

carmenmmundt feliz año nuevo 🩷

⤷ username71 phew they’re still friends

username71 y/n out of hiding!!! 🥹

username6 rep era 🖤

⤷ username23 more like ttpd 😳

albon_pets happy new year y/n 🐰🥳

⤷ username18 she’s still their bunny 😖

liked by carmenmmundt, alex_albon, and 183,093 others

lilymhe ❣️

emmaraducanu wag duties ✌️

⤷ lilymhe 😂🥰

username17 yeah this really hit,, lowkey missing y/n

username7 she’s in bahrain?! welp

username55 awww she’s wearing his merch 🥹

⤷ username6 so cute she’s wearing the merch his ex gf helped design xx

username12 ok i love y/n but lily is soooo pretty

username63 new wag!

carmenmmundt love

williamsracing 💙

liked by username23, username16, and 23,099 others

f1updates new f1 couple confirmed! pro golfer and rumoured girlfriend of alex albon spotted in the paddock for the first time seemingly confirming the couples status. there is a lot of discourse among fans regarding how quick the williams driver has moved on from his last relationship with singer y/n y/l/n, the pair were together for six years after abruptly splitting following their six year anniversary.

tagged alex_albon, lilymhe

username63 i mean they’re cute but i miss y/n

username17 so cute 😍 much better suited to eachother

⤷ username82 i love that they’re both athletes so they understand each other more

username99 she matches alex’s energy 😍

username44 he looks so happy 🥹

username13 cute couple

username1 they will last i think

liked by lilymhe, williamsracing, and 299,928 others

alex_albon bahrain tested: car ✅ food ✅ greens ✅

tagged lilymhe

username71 HARD LAUNCH

lilymhe need to work on that swing

⤷ alex_albon yeah you should

⤷ lilymhe oh!

lilymhe pretty sweet caddy 🥰

williamsracing things we like to see 💪

username2 awww they’re so cute

username14 couple goals

username23 parents ❤️

username2 they’re perfect together

landonorris 🔥

liked by francisca.cgomes, charles_leclerc, and 309,727 others

yourusername if i don’t laugh ill cry xx

francisca.cgomes sabes q és linda?

⤷ yourusername i love u

username1 prettiest

username09 stop she defs saw alex’s post

username23 all men do is lie

carmenmmundt ❤️❤️❤️

logansargeant sunscreen?? 🧴

⤷ yourusername so funny logs

⤷ username2 their friendship 🥰

username7 i feel so bad for her

username16 everyone breaks up she should get over it

username12 six years…

liked by alex_albon, williamsracing, and 239,029 others

lilymhe triple M dump 🇲🇨🇨🇦🇺🇸 with some ⛳️ in between

tagged alex_albon

username71 oh my god she’s the most beautiful girl in the world

alex_albon my beautiful girl

alex_albon wow 🤩

alex_albon prettiest in the universe bunny

⤷ lilymhe 🐰❤️

⤷ username62 THEY HAVE HIT THE PENTAGON

⤷ username3 he’s so?! not the bunny nickname… have some shame albono

username45 rip

username82 she is out of this world 😍

username43 idk if anyone knows what im talking about but i remember this interview a couple of years ago where alex said his celeb crush was this one tv actress, ive forgotten her name but i remember she looked exactly like lily does

⤷ username6 his perfect type 🥰

⤷ username47 remember who he was with then…

⤷ username82 my girl y/n catching strays all the time

liked by oliviarodrigo, iamrebeccad, and 451,928 others

yourusername i scream inside to deal with it like AHHHAEGEGBDBDHEHJEJDNXNJE

tagged oliviarodrigo

username45 girl is going through it

username22 “you’re the only girl i’d ever want” yeah ok liar

liked by yourusername

oliviarodrigo girl-

⤷ yourusername happier, pretty isn’t pretty, & stranger is a lethal lineup. don’t ask why i know… 💜

⤷ username42 wooh deadly combo

⤷ username25 just two ‘teenage’ girls who make the most gut wrenching twisted experiences sound like fairy dust

liked by oliviarodrigo, yourusername

username5 bunny nickname was sacred i can’t believe this 😖

username16 last slide is so real girl 😩

francisca.cgomes validddd

username11 i really don’t think she’s taking all of this very well

⤷ username18 u think?!

liked by lilymhe, patrickh_coach, and 230,838 others

alex_albon happiest with my girl

tagged lilymhe

username23 day b4 y/n’s birthday…

⤷ username45 he knows what he’s doing

username28 he’s never looked happier than with lily 🥰

lilymhe my silly boy

landonorris whippeddd

username67 pinterest couple 💌

username18 i love that they seem like best friends as well

username61 i want what they have ☹️

username77 his girl awwww

liked by luisinhaoliveira99, georgerussell63, and 509,983 others

yourusername opposite out now 🌟🐰

username23 the golf fit and bunny emoji SHES MESSY!

alexandrasaintmleux trop belle 🩷

username8 nah not the golf outfit when his current gf is a pro golfer…

username17 “she looks nothing like me so why do you look so happy?” after his ig post rlly hits

username13 i wanna hug her 🫂

username62 really her eternal muse….

username37 does she step out the spotlight so u bathe in it? GAGGED HIM

⤷ username2 righttt like especially since when they were together she was always the more famous one and he was the bf

georgerussell63 🤩

⤷ username11 alex may be his best mate but he hast to stan

username16 “i’ll never stop writing songs about you” well she didn’t lie-

username34 them always joking about how alex was a bad texter but now he’s with lily he’s suddenly the fastest replier ☹️

⤷ username9 “oh so u can reply just to not me” 🫤🫤

carmenmmundt so good ❤️

⤷ yourusername ily

francisca.cgomes TRYNA TAKE IT AS A COMPLIMENT ITS KINDA FEELING LIKE THE OPPOSITE

⤷ yourusername my best friendddd

username8 u were holding out to find the opposite is CRAZY

username92 “you knew i would see that” 👹👹

username6 “face like that other girl your in love with” OH OH OH

username63 “i know now even if i tried to change that somehow you’d end up with her anyway” alex albon when i catch you

username77 “when you said i’m beautiful was i bein lied to?” SHUT UP

⤷ username6 when he’d call her the prettiest in the universe…

username23 just rip my heart out and stomp all over it

2 years later

liked by carmenmmundt, francisca.cgomes, and 1,340,982 others

yourusername recents flicks x

username17 oh my god that dress is everything

username4 her and drew 🥰

drewstarkey 😍

username8 i really think she’s finally healed and that makes me so happy

alexandrasaintmleux can still hear charles singing sky fall 😭

⤷ yourusername remind me to never give him the mic at karaoke again

⤷ username45 so happy they still keep in touch

⤷ username92 yeah same but i also miss her and carmen&george

⤷ username67 what happened? 🙃

⤷ username92 well nothing specific but they stayed friends after her and alex broke up but i guess it just got kind of complicated and now the only interactions were really see of them is them liking each others posts

francisca.cgomes that dresssss lindaaa 🩷🌟

username62 pretty

username17 awww her and drew look adorable

⤷ username4 idk i still think she’s trying to find someone to recreate what she had with alex and it still hasn’t work but drew is the closest she’s come

⤷ username23 all while he’s still with the girl he got with like two weeks after they broke up

liked by williamsracing, georgerussell63, and 1,098,993 others

alex_albon she said yes! i can’t believe i get to marry my dream girl, as soon as i saw your face i knew i was gonna marry you. forever us, i love you 🐰

tagged lilymhe

username81 WHAT?!

username62 oh my god i would hate to be y/n rn

username12 after 2 years… but strung y/n along for 6 with not even a hint of a ring

⤷ username1 when yk yk i guess

georgerussell63 congrats mate x

carmenmmundt ❤️

username72 y/n y/l/n found screaming crying

⤷ username3 y/n is unbothered,, she has a man and is sooo over alex

lilymhe can’t wait to marry you,, to forever with you ❤️

⤷ username17 “to forever with you” i want to kms that’s exactly what y/n said on her last post w alex

alexandrasaintmleux congrats you guys ☺️

⤷ username4 oh to be in kika alex and y/n’s gc right now

landonorris ggggg

username71 this has to be slap in the face to y/n

albon_pets congrats alex 🐼 and lily 🐰 we love you guys ❤️

⤷ username44 albon pets using the bunny emoji for lily now when it was always for y/n is heartbreaking

username5 yellow cab light theory 🙃

⤷ username77 ??

⤷ username5 i just remember in satc miranda saying men are like cabs: “When they're available, their light goes on. They wake up one day and decide they're ready to settle down, have babies, whatever, and they turn their light on. The next woman they pick up — boom! That's the woman they marry.”

⤷ username14 yeah it also about how love isn’t about commitment but rather timing lolllll

⤷ username77 ohhhh so alex’s ‘light’ turned on after breaking up with y/n and it’s not that he’s more committed to lily but rather the timing is better for him than it was w y/n?

⤷ username5 basically 😳

liked by carmenmmundt, oliviarodrigo, and 1,997,928 others

yourusername you were holding out to find the opposite 🙃🐰

username61 they have hit the pentagon (again)

username1 oh my girl i thought we’d moved on

username73 she’s still at the restaurant 💔

username9 posting this while she has a whole ass bf 😭

⤷ username88 she gafff about that man in comparison to alex,, alex hung the stars for her

username23 “how am i supposed to close the door when i still need the closure?”

username14 “i saw you met somebody and im jealous as hell that i can’t even stomach loving somebody else” farkkkk they still kill me

⤷ username9 it’s been 2 years and she still can’t stomach it 🫤🫤😫

francisca.cgomes ❤️

username18 people using lyrics from emails i can’t send rn is making me want to cry ☹️

alexandrasaintmleux belle 🩷

username42 THE BUNNY NOOO

username16 everyone saying she’s moved on and doesn’t care obviously doesn’t remember how hard the break up hit for her like she was in love with that man

⤷ username45 they were meant to grow old together ☹️

⤷ username33 “i care but i don’t”

username62 he did end up w her anyway….

﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌

first alex fic!!! definitely not the last but pls let me know what you think xx