#sorry that this is kinda long and weird lmao idek if this is what you were asking about

[pinktinselmonstrosity]

I read a while ago that you were reading 'our wives under the sea'. I've also recently finished the book and was wondering what you thought of the ending?

*Feel free to ignore this ask if you haven't finished it yet! I'm just curious ☺️*

ahh thank you for asking! i was a little disappointed with the ending, but i don't think it was bad, i just think it was different from my expectations of it

i loved the concept of the book, but i come from a background of reading more traditional science fiction and i think that was what i was expecting/hoping for from that premise. idk about you but i REALLY wanted to know what the hell was going on!! shady organisations sending marine biologists to some mysterious part of the ocean, and when they come back they're like. possessed or something and then they turn into water? or into fish or something? absolutely intriguing!!! and of course my gut reaction to that mystery was to want to see it solved, so i was a little disappointed when the ending left so many questions unanswered

BUT i do realise that that is simply not the story that armfield was intending to tell. the sci-fi/fantasy elements are just a vehicle to tell a deeper emotional story about love and grief, and to that effect it doesn't actually matter that they're not 'solved', since the central conflict of the novel is miri's inability to let go of the past/of leah, rather than the mystery of what the hell was going on in the first place

i read a book last year called the first time lauren pailing died, and it was about this girl stuck in this weird time loop where every time she died she was reborn into another version of herself, which sounded FASCINATING, but it took a similar route to our wives under the sea in that the time loop was a fairly unimportant device to tell more important stories on interpersonal/emotional themes, and the time loop/multiverse situation was never really explained or solved in any way

and i do 100% think that's a valid narrative choice!!!!! but also as a reader who loves sci-fi i think it's possible to still include those themes AND solve the mystery, and so both books left me feeling slightly unsatisfied despite being really good overall

[wikiangela-fanfics]

I can't love you any more (than I do now)

this is so domestic, fluffy and corny idek lmao

words: 2.6k

[read on Ao3]

You tell me I'm your favorite person Yeah, what we got is workin' And the years have only made 'em more that way

Eddie's pretty sure he and Buck are dating. 

Well, maybe not in so many words. 

They've never talked about it, hell, they never even kissed, or went on a date or anything like that. 

But Eddie can’t help noticing how their relationship has surpassed platonic a long time ago. It’s confusing, sometimes, because he’s not even sure when something changed, but suddenly he finds himself in this weird stage, where Buck is present in every aspect of his life, being a partner and a co-parent, and, honestly, it feels like even more than just dating – Eddie’s marriage might not have been great, but he’s pretty sure what he and Buck have is what a marriage is supposed to look like. It’s scary and confusing, but at the same time, it makes sense, somehow. What they have, that's not platonic, friends don't act like… like they do. But the thing is, whatever they are, they work. It’s the best damn relationship Eddie’s ever been in, and it’s not even an official relationship. Yet.

The thing is, Eddie knows that he’s in love with Buck. It snuck up on him and came so naturally, he wasn’t even surprised when he finally realized that’s what he feels. He’s pretty sure Buck feels the same way – otherwise he surely wouldn’t act the way he does. So, he’s pretty confident their relationship is going in the romantic direction, even if they’re doing it kinda backwards, but he’s letting it play out for now, at its own pace, still testing the waters. He’s working on gathering his courage to do something about it, while he and Buck keep playing house together. Literally.

There are moments when it hits Eddie all over again how much of a family they are, and how domestic and how… how married they act, and he needs a second to not do something stupid, like actually drop down on one knee and propose. Well, maybe he should just do that.

One evening he comes home from work, since he filled in for someone on the B shift, to the amazing smells from the kitchen, that make his mouth water, and sounds of conversation from the room, as well.

“Hey, I’m home!” he calls out from the front door, kicking off his shoes, taking his jacket off, and dropping his duffel bag on the floor.

“We’re in here!” he hears Buck’s voice from the kitchen. When Eddie walks in, he sees Buck at the stove, cooking dinner, and Chris at the table with his homework.

“Hey.” he can’t help a huge smile, and tries very hard to resist walking up to Buck and wrapping his arms around him. Buck looks so cute, wearing one of Eddie’s sweatshirts, and an actual apron, and he’s cooking for them, like he does pretty often now. Eddie loves him so much. “What smells so good?”

“I’m making lasagna.” Buck grins. “Should be ready soon. Chris, next question, come on.”

“Homework?” Eddie asks, taking a seat next to his son. “What subject?”

“Math.” Chris gives him an exasperated look, and Eddie laughs.

“Oh, so Buck’s not really helping, is he?” he teases, looking at Buck in time to see him try to look annoyed, but failing. 

“Come on, I’m not that bad.”

“Well… it’s no secret you suck at math, sorry.” Eddie shrugs, not able to take his eyes away from how Buck’s trying to hide a smile. This kind of teasing and making fun of each other has become a thing in their house- well, Eddie’s house, mostly because of their kid- Eddie’s kid, well, okay, their kid, who always starts it all. It’s always fun, even if Eddie is the object of the jokes more of than not.

“I’m better than you, and I’m in 6th grade.” Christopher says with a laugh, and Buck gasps dramatically. Chris leans in to Eddie to whisper: “I don’t actually need help, he’s insisting.”

“It’s the thought that counts.” Eddie chuckles, shooting Buck an amused look.

“You guys suck.” Buck breaks and finally laughs. Then, before anyone can say anything else, there’s a sound of beeping from somewhere in the house. “Oh, I think the laundry’s done.”

“I got it.” Eddie gets up to get the laundry out of the washing machine, not even wondering why Buck puts on a wash in a house he doesn’t live in. Because it has happened before, and it’s not like Buck’s clothes aren’t all mixed up with Eddie’s in his closet, either. That’s how domestic they’ve gotten. Eddie’s aware that it’s not really something even the bestest of friends do, but that’s how they work. 

When he gets back to the kitchen, Chris’ books are gone, and dinner is on the table. They sit down to eat, and Buck asks him how was work, and they tell him about their day as well, and it’s just their usual night, and it’s perfect.

“Oh, I almost forgot.” Buck says at some point, when he glances at the calendar on the wall, filled with both of their handwritings, any events, appointments, shifts, Chris’ extracurriculars, all of that marked. Like a family, like all three of them live here. Maybe it should be this way.  “There’s a parent-teacher conference next Wednesday.”

“Whose turn is it?” Eddie simply asks, because for months now they both have been going, taking turns. It started when Eddie asked him to fill in for him once, and then just never stopped.

“Yours, but we have a day off, so we can go together for once.” Buck shrugs, shoving a forkful of lasagna into his mouth. “It is the last one of the year.”

And Eddie looks at Buck, and his heart beats a little bit faster. He loves how involved Buck is with Chris and his school, that he goes to those conferences, that he’s in the parent group chat, that Eddie definitely muted and gets information from Buck, because all the parents are being annoying and responding with a thumbs up to every single thing the teacher says, blowing up his phone. Buck’s been involved in all kinds of bake sales, school projects, he’s been helping with homework, on occasion driving Chris to school and any extracurriculars, and for sleepovers – they take turns with most of that, to be honest. It sounds like a lot, and it is, and Eddie doesn’t think he’d be able to do it all without Buck.

So, Eddie’s very aware how involved Buck is, and that he knows all the teachers and parents, but when they get there on Wednesday, he’s still taken aback by how happy everyone is to see Buck, how friendly they’re being with him – then again, Eddie’s pretty sure that every single person Buck meets falls a little bit in love with him, be it platonic or not, it’s just how it is, Buck’s too amazing for it to not be the case. Eddie thinks that Buck stole a piece of his heart when they first met, and then, over the years, Eddie kept giving him the rest, piece by piece, and now it belongs solely to Buck.

They find out that Chris is doing great at school, which isn’t a surprise, and when the teacher refers to him as their son, neither feels the need to correct her, because there’s nothing to correct. Buck is Christopher’s parent, and Eddie’s happy that he finally started to believe it and stopped denying it whenever it’s implied, which he did for a hot minute before they talked about it. Well, Eddie talked, maybe even ranted a bit, about how both he and Christopher see him, how he’s the best co-parent Eddie could’ve ever asked for, and Buck just stared at him speechless. He never showed any doubt about his role in Chris’ life again, and Eddie makes sure to remind him of that from time to time.

When they leave the classroom, Eddie decides to be brave, and grabs Buck’s hand, just because he feels like it. Buck looks at him with surprise, and then smiles. They hold hands until they get to the car, and don’t mention it. But it’s something. It’s a start. 

He thinks back to the last couple of months of playing house, of dinners together, doing chores together, Buck spending more nights than not at his place, in Eddie’s bed, because the couch is too uncomfortable for Eddie to let Buck sleep there. Of hanging out with Chris, and navigating this whole pre-teen phase together, which is much less scary with Buck at his side. And even going to freaking parent-teacher conferences together. And as Eddie thinks about all that, and looks at Buck, who’s driving them home, he decides that they’ve been dancing around it long enough. He needs to make a move soon, if Buck’s not gonna.

But it’s another moment, a few weeks later, that comes so casually and naturally he barely registers anything weird about it, that makes him determined to do it that night.

They’re at work, it’s the end of their shift, and they’re changing in the locker room. Eddie’s done first, and before leaving he asks Buck:

“You coming over tonight, babe?” Because for once they came to work separately, because Buck spent last night at his loft, and Eddie missed him like crazy. And he doesn’t realize that the pet name slipped out until he thinks back to this moment later.

“Yeah, of course.” Buck shrugs, not affected by what Eddie said at all. However, out of the corner of his eye, Eddie can see Chimney and Hen exchange glances. “I’ll just stop by the grocery store on the way. I grabbed the list from the fridge.” he adds, referring to the little magnetic notepad they keep on their fridge to add items to the list as soon as they run out – well, Eddie does, it’s his house, but it was Buck who bought it and started using it. “Unless you wanna come with me?” he looks at Eddie while buttoning up his shirt, and Eddie’s eyes follow his fingers automatically.

“Uh, yeah, sure.” he smiles, forcing himself to look back up at Buck’s face. “Our usual store, right?” Buck nods. “Great, I’ll meet you there. Bye, guys.” he throws in the direction of Chim and Hen, and leaves. 

“Have we missed something?” he still hears Chimney ask, confusion in his voice. “When did you guys-” He doesn’t hear the rest, but he knows what Chim’s asking. He wonders what Buck’s answer’s going to be. Because, honestly, Eddie thinks that everyone missed something, including him and Buck. Eddie, for one, feels like they omitted the actual conversation about dating and moving in together, and suddenly that’s just what they do now, at least partly.

So, that night, after doing the groceries, he helps Buck with dinner, just some simple things Buck allows him to do, because Eddie still sucks at cooking – but Buck has been teaching him, and he’s getting better. Later, they eat together, play some board games with their kid, and watch a movie. It’s the perfect, boring, but not boring at all, night in with his family, and Eddie thinks that he’s never been more content in his life.

After Chris goes to get ready for bed, Buck gets up from the couch to start cleaning up. Instead of getting up to help, Eddie just sits there and stares at this man, who moves around his house as if he’s lived here his whole life, who knows where every single item is, sometimes better than Eddie, who already has half of his belongings here, whose presence is visible for anyone who walks in, who’s in all the family pictures… who’s been sharing a bed with Eddie for months now. And suddenly, Eddie hears himself blurt out:

“Move in with us.” Well, that’s not how he planned to start, ideally he’d tell Buck how he feels first, but he can’t take it back now. He doesn’t want to take it back.

Buck stops in his tracks and turns to look at Eddie, three glasses and an empty popcorn bowl in his hands. 

“What?”

“You should move in with us.” Eddie doubles down, now also standing up. He walks up to Buck, takes the dishes out of his hands and places them on the table. He grabs Buck’s hands. “You basically live here already anyway, what’s the point of paying rent for an apartment you sleep in once a week, if not less?” he’s smiling, feeling way calmer than he expected. Buck looks stunned. “You’re here all the time, and I want you here even more often. This is your home, Buck. It just makes sense.”

“I don’t know what to say.” Buck responds, eyes wide, as he’s processing. Eddie’s smile widens, and he puts one hand on Buck’s cheek.

“Then listen to me first.” Eddie takes a deep breath. Here goes nothing. When he speaks, his voice is calm and quiet, and firm. More decisive than ever. “Every time I think I can’t love you any more than I already do,” he hears Buck inhale sharply at that, “I look at you, at your smile that always lights up my day, and at how you are with Chris, at how you fit into our lives, and you prove me wrong. Because I love you so damn much, and I think I’m falling deeper in love every single day, every single second.”

“Eddie.” Buck breathes.

“We’ve been dancing around this for months, if not years. I mean, look at us, at our life together. We’ve basically been married with a kid for who knows how long, and I never even got to take you out on a date.” Eddie chuckles. “We just… work. All the years together, everything we went through, only proved that time and time again. And I’m tired of pretending like I have no idea this is happening. I want you, Buck, in every way imaginable.” he finishes, only now starting to feel nerves, while Buck keeps staring at him, unmoving. Shit, did he break him? Maybe it was a lot to put on him right now, and he needs to process. Because there’s no doubt in Eddie’s mind that Buck feels the same, that’s not even a question.

“Eds.” Buck says, and then a laugh rips out of him. “God, Eddie.” he brings his arms up to wrap them around Eddie’s back, and Eddie instantly relaxes. “You’re my absolute favorite person in the world, you know that? That is, aside from Christopher, obviously.” he grins, leaning in closer, their noses brushing now. “I love you so much. And I want it all, you and Chris, and this family, this home. I want this.”

“Good.” Eddie closes the distance, finally kissing Buck. He tastes like popcorn and soda, and candy he and Chris were eating earlier. He also tastes like sunshine and home, and the rest of Eddie’s life. It’s a sweet and tender kiss, and it only ends when they can’t contain their wide smiles anymore.

“So.” Buck leans his forehead against Eddie’s. “Moving in before we even have our first date?”

“Hey, we started with being all married-domestic and raising a kid together.” Eddie laughs. “So what if we’re doing it a little backwards? It works for us.”

“Okay.” Buck whispers with the biggest smile. “Let’s do it, then.” 

It’s barely a few weeks before the rest of Buck’s stuff is at their home, and he officially moves in. Not much changes. They raise their kid, help him with his homework, have movie and game nights, share chores, cook together, host parties and get-togethers with their friends. They share a life. And Eddie’s heart is so full, he doesn’t think he could ever be happier, or love his little family any more than he does now.

[huntingingoodwill]

Hiiii

Perfect time for me to unload those dreams on you cuz I’ve gotten my period yet again 😀 (relating to my Daniel dream)

Your opinion on rafe is maybe half true? I think he’s supposed to hate his dad although I’ve no clue, I still have not watched the show. I only like him cuz he’s hot 🙈

The dream with him was so like out of body but not cuz it rlly felt like I was there?? Idek how to explain it was wild. I think it had to have been a rlly old college campus and we were just chilling on the couch of this beautiful house. It was prob a frat house or something but I think I was watching too much scream queens so the house is just huge and beautiful with so much warmth and wood everywhere. Drooling for the interior design here before I even get to the man 😭

I am truly just so touch starved and wanting to be in a relationship cuz legitimately it was the most cozy and domestic vibe ever we are just lazing on this couch him laying back on me I’m playing with his super soft hair😩 also somehow my younger sister is there? Jump scare😳 we’re just arguing about this amazing flowering tree in the neighbors backyard (it must have been the prettiest tree ive seen in my life) and I’m going to google it cuz I must prove my point duh and I do this in real life where I sometimes need a moment to think about how to phrase a question or search to actually get the answer i need and of course he knows that so being the bestest boyfriend there is he just grabs the phone from me and searches up my first attempt at phrasing. I took it in the best casual dominance way ever paired with silence encouragement that my phrasing was right on the first try and I don’t need to overthink so much 😍😍 and then he just grabs my hand and interlocks (SCREAMING CRYING THROWING UP MY ROMCOM DREAMS COMING TRUE) and everything just settles I completely forget about what I searched and don’t even care about the answer anymore just enjoying the feeling of holding hands and staring at this tree and the breeze coming through the window 💖💖💖

And then of course since it’s on a college campus I’m somehow whisked away to help at some random event and then I wake up 🥲

This was terribly long for me to truly relive this amazing dream that I hope I’ll never forget

Pls share any cool dreams you’ve had and I’ve rlly gotta find someone to request writing a fic for this 🤔

-😊💕

hiiii

lmao at this point i feel like you send me asks based on your cycle which im not really mad about bc that’s hilarious

girl i know all about liking men just because they’re hot don’t worry

shut up i LOVE SCREAM QUEENS nobody talks about that show enough. im very much a chanel oberlin.

dan kinda has frat bro vibes. is that controversial.

wait this is such a pleasant dream 😭😭 that’s so nice all my dreams are fucking weird. like ive had multiple dreams where i shot my friend and everytime it happens i report it to them irl and we laugh about me murdering them in my sleep that’s how u know ur friend is a ride or die

ALSO IM SORRY ik u sent me another ask and i was in the middle of replying it and it disappeared 😭 like it’s not in my inbox or drafts or anything 😭😭😭 sorry about that

[jewllyfish]

Long post tw dream tw unreality tw child getting hurt tw assault(ish). Fucked up fucking dream.

Had such weird dreams last night…. So there’s this regular couple who comes into my work all the time on shrooms I love them but in the dream they would always come in with this annoying ass bird lol. they asked if I would watch or hold their like 6 million dollar paintings for them while they went on vacation for the weekend and they’d pay me a few hundred dollars??? and I was like sure ya but when they came by to drop them off they were like. Also you’re watching our bird. And I was like… uh.. okay? It was like a Mynah or crow or some clever corvid and so they leave and I’m chilling with friends and then the bird starts flying around the room and I’m like that’s probably not good lol and I’m trying to catch it and swearing at it and it’s just laughing at me and I’m like. Whatever, problem for later. So I’m chilling there w this girl and then it like dives into the bathtub which is full and I’m kinda panicking and screaming how stupid it is lol then it surfaces and changes into this like. Parrotfish looking thing?? Idek but I was just like ooooooh it’s one of THOSE goddAmn stupid thing. And it surfaces and looks at me and says “you’re not too bright yourself” and I’m like WHAT THE FUCK WHY DIDNT YOU TELL ME YOU COULD TALK bc apparently birds changing into fish is nbd but talking fish is lmao. And it’s real lippy and is like you didn’t ask. And all I could say was fair point I guess and then we were all cool and chilling and the fish would sometimes change into a bird and fly around but I liked him now lol and we were all just shooting the shit and Then the birdfish was like wanna see something cool? And my friend grins at me and then the thing CHANGES INTO A BABY?? And I’m like yo WTF what else can u turn into?? And it’s like nuthin this is it lol wanna hold me? And I’m like fuck yeah! (VERY unrealistic I hate babies they scare me) and I’m like. Zooming it around like a toy airplane lol and my friend is telling me to be careful but I’m like no no I got this! Watch this! And I like balance it on my feet like an acrobat and it FUCKING FALLS HEADFIRST ONTO THE FLOOR and I’m like freaking out and I pick it up and half its skull is like. Mashed and dome shaped now 😭😭😭 and I try to cover the fucked up part with my hand so my friend can’t see and maybe like moosh it back into shape but it’s SO SQUISHY AND FAR TOO PLIABLE and I nearly vomit and give it back to the friend super fast who puts it in the tub and is like I TOLD U SO. And the baby just changes back into the fish and is like lol that was fucked up. And I’m like IM SO SORRY!! And it’s like nah I’m fine I was just messing with you but I was sitting there like 🫁👁👄👁 I have to go to bed lol.

So then it’s the day before I have to go give the paintings back and I’ve been keeping them in the basement and I go down there and there’s just a party happening?? In my basement?? And I’m like whatever sick lol I don’t know anyone here but I’m sure it’s fine so I start drinking like a fish and this old lady is like asking me about the paintings and the bird/fish/baby and I’m like… uh… idk if I should tell you all that and she’s like no no it’s okay! I’m friends with them! And I’m just like oh okay sure! And I chat a little but she’s giving me weird vibes so I go over to the corner where I stashed the paintings (they were just like stylistic gold faces with blue and purple and pink and orange clouds I’m gonna try and draw them later) and there’s this giant hulking man in traditional Russian dress who’s like. Leering at me and I’m trying to ignore him so I just reach past him to grab the box they’re in and he grabs my arm? And is like “what brings a pretty thing like you to a place like this” and I’m like. Uh the paintings… and he’s like “a little thief?? You know what we do to thieves around here??” And I’m panicking a little cause he’s still got my arm and I’m like bro I live here! And he’s like oh pardon, my name is Gustav (Gregor? Something beginning w a G) please, Drink with me! And I’m like uh okay cause I don’t really feel like I can say no so I skip off and grab a bottle of wine that for some reason I know is drugged?? Or maybe it was just absinthe idrk but he takes a huge swig and I’m like hehehe… yess… and then gives it to me and is like. Now you. Drink. All fucking scary like and I’m like uuuuuuuh okay so I DO? I ALSO swig the drugged wine and he’s leering at me again and I’m like well nothing for it. Gotta seduce him so I’m like asking him what a big strong man like him is doing here and rubbing all up on him and he’s eating it up meanwhile I’m also like pushing drink after drink into his hand and he’s tossing em back (to give a reference of this man’s size I’m giving him solo cups and they look like Dixie cups in his hand) and he like swings his arm around me and is telling me he’s getting sleepy and I’m like oh well perfect! You just rest right here and I’ll be right back to help you get comfortable ;) and he kinda slumps over and I squirm away and grab the paintings and fucking HIGHTAIL it out of the basement

But by now it’s 6 or 7am lmao and it’s time for the couple to pick up their paintings (also pretty sure there was a break in and armed robbers at some point but that part is fuzzy) and im still fucking wasted and trying to find my way thru the house and she’s waiting at the kitchen counter super impatiently and just tapping her foot and glaring at me, and I plop the box down on the counter and im like here they are safe and sound and she FLIPS she’s like “YOU WERE KEEPING THESE IN THE BASEMENT? DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW MUCH THEYRE WORTH!?” And im like uh yeah? Don’t worry they’re safe and fine they’re in a box and cardboard sleeve and she just like stops dead and glares at me with the fire of a thousand suns and is like “you little rat…. You switched them out, didn’t you!!!” And I’m like. Still SO fucking drunk and I’m like lady what the hell are you talking about. Look at them. They’re the same. And I’m trying to argue with her about how could I have done that w a forgery in 2 fuck days but she doesn’t want to hear it and just grabs the box and storms out and I’m like chasing after her like BRO you gotta pay me do you know what I did to keep those safe!! And she’s like oooh I’m sure they’re safe in your little hidey hole somewhere and leaves and I’m just standing there like ????? And I hear a “yoo hoo!” And look over and the weird old lady from the party is there and holding the struggling bird baby fish while it’s changing rapidly between the 3 states and she grins evilly at me and disappears and I’m just. So tired and exhausted and drunk lol and then I wake up.

Anyway if u read this far amazing hope you enjoyed my fucked ur Covid dreams

[transmascfrankiero]

all of mcr’s songs ranked out of ten based on whether or not you can strip to them:

romance: could work if you were going for a Super Melancholy smiths-esque vibe but overall too slow and pretty. 1/10

honey: headbanger soundtrack to showcase your revenge body to ur ex. bonus points for underlying ‘gonna murder shitty boyfriend’ context thanks to audition-inspired video. but slightly too angry to be seductive. 5/10

vampires: too goth, too many feelings. reminds me of pot dreads frank. would not work. 0/10

drowning lessons: this song is cursed and cannot be listened to in public unfortunately 0/10

sorrows: if u were going to do a strip routine while beating the shit out of someone for trying to stealing ur tip money this would be a gr8 choice 6/10

halos: it’s about blowing your own head off and taking too many pills to cope w/ wanting to die all the time. 0/10

turnstiles: please do not!!! strip!!! to a song!!! about 9/11!!!! what is wrong w/ you!!! -100000000/10

monroeville: if u were doing a private lil strip dance for your george a. romero-obsessed s.o. where u both cry over the idea of having to kill the other person b/c they turned into a zombie then sure??? but other than that no. .5/10

best day ever: ehhhhhh. too fast. kinda weird to get sexy to unless u have a hospital kink. 0/10

cubicles: wow the thought of doing a strip routine to a song about pining for ur coworker who doesn’t know u exist is too sad to even joke about -20/10

demolition lovers: it’s a long song but it’s got cool tempo changes for variety and if u got the stamina then go for it. 4/10

helena: so, like, i get it. it’s a bop. u could dance to this beat for sure. the costumes and color scheme from the video make for gr8 stage pictures and the dancing corpse lady is v pretty. i could understand why if u were doing an emo strip routine u would want to use helena. but please for the love of all that is holy do NOT strip to a song gerard way wrote about his dead grandmother okay i am BEGGING you -∞/10

give ‘em hell kid: FUCK YEAH YOU LOOK PRETTY WALKIN DOWN THE STREET IN THE BEST DAMN DRESS U OWN. 10/10

to the end: this would be a hilarious choice for a bachelor party ngl 7/10 for that alone

prison: absolutely you could strip to this song but u gotta COMMIT okay u gotta light something on fire onstage and challenge gender norms while screaming your head off 8/10 but only if ur not a coward

i’m not okay: it’s a bop, but can u strip to it? no. 0/10

ghost of you: mikey way did not die on a beach in fake normandy for u to strip to ghost of you. seek help -5/10

jetset life: dude this song like. actually works??? for a strip routine??? so long as you don’t actually listen to the words, from a musical perspective, u could totally strip to this 10/10

interlude: what kinda weird catholic shame kink do u need to have to strip to this song. also it’s too short and too pretty. -5/10 (unless ur into catholic shame idk)

venom: this would require such a high energy routine but if u can make being sweaty work then this is a gr8 choice 7/10

hang ‘em high: this is a BATSHIT INSANE choice for a strip routine but if u want to do it then PLEASE do. i like ur style. 8/10

deathwish: u can strip to this only if u introduce ur routine by dedicating it to everyone who ever said eyeliner on dudes was gay. 5/10

cemetery drive: i think not. 0/10

never told you: if u are a highly theatrical highly murderous stripper then yes definitely 7/10

desert song: this song is Way Too Beautiful to strip to sorry you can’t have it -300/10

the end.: the only sexy thing about this song is how good gerard’s voice sounds so no. 0/10

dead!: this is a bold fucking choice but u have to play your cards just right. high risk high reward but SO much to potentially get wrong 6/10

how i disappear: u could. but why. 2/10

sharpest lives: holy SHIT yes ABSOLUTELY u should strip to sharpest lives. the drama. the beat. the spy rock guitar that frank accidentally nailed. this is one of THE choicest options from their catalog. why aren’t u stripping to this right now 50000000/10

wttbp: cute idea but don’t actually 0/10

i don’t love you: again, a bold fucking choice. u could strip to this in an edgy, meta sort of way but it’s missing the trashy factor so it’d have to be part performance art and part strip routine. if ur into that then totally 5/10

house of wolves: i mean i would pay money to see someone strip to this song so 7/10

cancer: LMAO YIKES -2000000/10

mama: this would be GLORIOUS if u fully embraced the sheer insanity and went Bonkers in Fuckin Zonkers burlesque-show-in-hell w/ it. 100/10 but u gotta pound the floor wailing at some point

sleep: i’m conflicted on this one like on the one hand it’s a good tempo for stripping but on the other hand it’s a song about being cruel to ur loved ones in order to force distance between u and them b/c you’re terrified of them getting hurt and it being all your fault. so maybe don’t strip to this one actually 0/10

teenagers: a bop w/ a great beat and fun costume ideas from the video but two major drawbacks being 1. ur getting naked to a song about teenagers which is uhhhh sort of Inappropriate and 2. it’s kind of also about school shooters which is also Inappropriate to get naked to. 0/10

disenchanted: why would u want this. you sad fuck. idek what to say except if you want to strip to this song i’m crying on your behalf -100000000/10

famous last words: don’t????? don’t. Do Not. stop that. -12/10

blood: this is HILARIOUS omg please strip to blood 10/10

kill all your friends: sure?? no objections but it’s an odd choice. this goes for the demo too. 2/10

heaven help us: if u want to strip to this then you definitely just read unholyverse for the first time and while u are valid, Don’t 0/10

my way home is through you: not an especially sexy song but it’s fun!! you do you 3/10

astro zombies (cover): uhhhhhh it’s a no from me dawg. i’d be thinking about danzig, like, the whole time. 0/10

desolation row: sure but u gotta be willing to get punched in the face by the riot squad for maximum effect 4/10

common people (cover): just b/c gerard would strip to britpop doesn’t mean u can. 0/10

emily: NO!!!! -50000/10

party at the end of the world: nah. 0/10

not that kind of girl: literally please consider the subject matter of this song and rethink ur life choices. -10/10

all the angels: it’s a cool song but don’t strip to it that’s weird -2/10

jack the ripper: you and the person who wants to strip to astro zombies can go sit in the suicidegirls corner together how about that. 0/10

na na na: a banger!! strip away my friend 9/10

bulletproof heart: a good song but not a strip song 1/10

sing: sorry this song is [REDACTED] it gets no score

planetary (go!): you could try to strip to this but it’s such a classic four-on-the-floor that i think you’d end up just regular dancing to it and forget to be sexy so 4/10

the only hope for me is you: are you doing a strip tease for michael bay. stop. put ur shirt back on shia lebeouf 0/10

party poison: like this is a hilarious option and i support you but realistically it’s pretty fast for a strip song 3/10

save yourself, i’ll hold them back: this is a safe option. Too Safe. almost soulless. a person who’d strip to this would avoid eye contact the entire time and never smile and later when you went out for a smoke break you’d overhear them on the phone with their ex arguing over child support payments. 4/10

s/c/a/r/e/c/r/o/w: the more i think about it the more fun the idea of stripping to this becomes so i say go for it 6/10

summertime: i’m Certain that gerard would prefer if you didn’t -5/10

destroya: is this objectively the best mcr song to strip to? Absolutely. it’s got everything you could possibly want right down to built-in moans and fever dream drums. but the only person in the universe who Can Must and Should strip to this song is gerard. sorry them’s the breaks. ∞/10 but only if you’re gerard way

kids from yesterday: don’t. 0/10

vampire money: 100% yes you should strip to this. bonus points for stealth twilight references 1000000/10

we don’t need another song about california: do i like this song? yes. is it sexy? no. 0/10

black dragon fighting society: i can’t understand what the FUCK gerard is saying in this song AT ALL so i can’t recommend that u strip to it b/c i have no fucking idea what it’s ABOUT 0/10

f.t.w.w.w.: i mean. this song is about eating pussy. and robots that are built specifically to fuck. so yes you can strip to this but you gotta dress up like a pornbot 100/10

mastas of ravencroft: again i cannot understand most of the fucking words and the ones i do understand are something something RICKETY BONES RICKETY HANDS so like. probably not the one 0/10

boy division: i could go either way on this one like it’s really fast but it’s also about cocaine so??? 3/10

tomorrow’s money: while this song slaps overall violent nihilism does not a strip song make 1/10

ambulance: no. 0/10

gun.: antiwar messages are sexy but not the right kind for stripping 1/10

the world is ugly: PLEASE no. 0/10

the light behind your eyes: oh my god this is so DEPRESSING why would you want to strip to this who hurt you -2000000/10

kiss the ring: yes yes yes it’s got built-in audience participation conceit factor if u let ur audience kiss ur ring, totally works 10/10

make room!!!: again, slaps, but not a strip song 1/10

surrender the night: dude we talked about this!!! dying violently w/ ur loved ones is Not Sexy!!! 0/10

burn bright: i guess you could strip to this but again it’s Too Safe tread carefully 3/10

fake your death: i want frank iero to strip to this song so i can throw tomatoes at him for being a LYING SACK OF SHIT FOR TWO YEARS i’m not gonna rate this one but frank if ur out there i have a basket of slightly squishy heirloom tomatoes and i am COMING FOR YOU

[iampikachuhearmeroar]

y’know the wildest thing still to happen to me on this hellsite was my first experience of sexting, sans nudes, that was done in front of at least 250-500 followers because of those horny anons i had in early 2013 when i was 17. instead of being exposed to it on my phone privately with a partner at that age, it was done publicly for the internet to see lmao. i remember begging the anons to stop and “come off anon” because i was “losing followers” at the time too bc i was so insecure about my follower count lmao. and then yeah when they came off anon they were both 28 years old.

to write the responses, i just consulted cosmo mag sex pages for ideas hoping that the anons would like the options i chose. in one i detailed doing anal- a sex act i hadn’t even done yet irl- let alone every other thing i suggested in them (head, idek long, drawn out foreplay, some stupid fancy sex moves that cosmo was all like “use these moves to spice up your sex life 🔥🔥”, sex in a bath, i’m pretty sure i had some lines about tying or handcuffing them to a bed (????) etc etc etc)….

when again, i had never even done any of those above sex acts in real life. i was a naive teen who was incredibly shy in regards towards her love life because she’d “never been kissed” and had never had the “hot emo boyfriend whose in a band and is covered in tattoos” she’d always wanted, let alone even a boyfriend that she had actually fucking liked (ie clear braces boy, for like a month in year 9/2010 vs the popular boys that made fun of her, that she always had unrequited crushes on)…. hell, my blog title when i first started on here in 2011 was “the perfect epitome of being forever alone” because of these very reasons. but here she was, writing explicit sex acts to strangers like she knew what the fuck she was doing, to an audience of 250-500 people- and then to fucking grown ass men in inboxes. i was just parroting the shit i’d read in cosmo (both sex advice and sometimes excerpts of erotica/“sexy, steamy reads” they had some months) and also heard repeatedly in the porn that my high school stalker/creeper at public school loved to show (harass) me with to flirt with me, whenever we were alone together at school in 2012/2013.

like you could tell how naive i was….. because i used ridiculous lines like “like a gentleman entranced, you lead me to the bath for our next foray” and dumbass prose-y things like that. because what the fuck does that even mean 😂😅????

and this is why i think minors should be careful with their online experiences. like yeah, you could say that i wasn’t a minor anymore- more of a “young adult”- who should of made the smart decision to not engage with these anons. but i was a kid. i thought it was fun. and when the dudes came off anon, i thought to myself “it’s not like i’m ever gonna meet them if i ever go to the US or puerto rico at any point. it’s not like that they’ll ever recognise me in person or ever reach out to me again in the future. i might as well do it.” and i did eventually end up ignoring the guys in my inbox, due to my mental health kinda plummeting from the middle til the end of 2013 because of my end of high school exams and stuff… and also the puerto rican guy’s infamously inappropriate “hot PE teacher fucks HOT female high school student in the girls change room showers” fantasy which fucking disgusted me, when he full well knew that i was STILL IN high school.

and obviously again, there’s the point about using the “block” button function. but as i’ve stated several times over my years on here, back in my early days of tumblr, i never wanted to block or unfollow people (even if they were trash like these two men), because it seemed so “mean” and “final”. obvs now i have no qualms about blocking people, and actively encourage younger people on here to use the block button with reckless abandon towards creepy people or people who can hurt them in some way. but to high school teenage me, the whole “using the block button” thing seemed to go against me being a “nice girl/person” so i never used it, no matter which social media platform i was on.

this is why i’m hella scared for young teen girls on tik tok wanting to have onlyfans accounts: because it’s where they’ll be exposed to ACTUAL CREEPS AND PREDATORS incredibly quickly; all because they can make money off selling images of just their feet or eventually their body….. depending on what these creepy strangers demand from them….. and they’ll feel like they’ll have to do it…. but to do it before you even start experimenting properly with relationships and sex is even worse. like. yeah. i’ve admitted before that i originally started this tumblr to possibly post nudes, to see if i’d get the positive feedback that i so desperately wanted/craved from the boys in my year at catholic school- eg. to be called “sexy”, “hot”, “fuckable” possibly “beautiful”- like some of the so called “popular girls” got on their hella basic bikini photos back then (like i remember one girl i knew ended up with like 500 likes and a fair amount of comments on one of her bikini pics and i was INCREDIBLY BITTER because not even a pic of me with a nice outfit on, my hair done and makeup on could EVER get those numbers, let alone even break over the double digits).

but i decided posting nudes or other explicit images on here was an absolute no go, because i realised that i never wanted people that i knew digging up barely clothed/naked pics of me and sending them to me all like “hey, is this you?” and then possibly mocking me, all because i would’ve been dumb enough to put my face in them probably at the time. now when i take nudes and send them, i never show my face. because i know now, that even in relationships, your partner can use nude pics as leverage for arguments or to abuse you in such a way that they’ll upload your pics without your knowledge to god knows where on the internet probably as a way to get back at you in a horrible breakup.

this is what i sincerely hope some young girls who ever contemplate starting onlyfans accounts take some time SERIOUSLY CONSIDER. please know that if you share shit on onlyfans, it can shared and re-shared (i think idek how OF works tbh) to god knows who- and eventually end up in the hands of people you know. i don’t fucking care if it’s a “good way to make money!” or if people think that im trying to stop teen girls from being “girl bosses” and the other dumb as fuck internet memes you want to throw at me. because this shit isn’t “haha internet meme funny” material. it’s some fucking serious stuff. and also, i’m not saying “don’t become a sex worker when you’re older” or whatever either. you’re free to make that choice when you’re in your 20s (no i even mean 17-19 year olds in this post as “young teen girls”- sorry you’re basically kids to me at almost 26). just please consider where the fuck your stuff can be shared to. who it can end up being shared with or to.

this is why i was so fucking adamant with my infamous old follower mr adelaide fuckboy/MAF that i personally would NOT consider becoming a camgirl for him or just generally… because i had no idea where the fuck my images or videos would end up. and do you know the places i’d never want them to fucking be??? in the hands of my high school stalker/creeper. in the hands of those two 28yo men from 2013 (who’d now be in there late 30s or early 40s). i absolutely don’t want them in the hands the mid-to-late 20s and early 30s men that that girl i met at public school in 2012 who was pissed that i didn’t believe that were “adults” because we were finally over the legal age of consent (16) in our state of australia, and so we were apparently fine to “fuck” literal grown ass men because “just fuck them and they’ll be nice to you!!” which i knew was fucking bullshit.

i absolutely don’t fucking want explicit videos/images of me ending up in “why the fuck won’t you let me give you “sex lessons” in the back of my car as a “favour” and as payment for teaching you how to drive you stupid, stuck up & frigid, virgin bitch!?” guy’s hands from 2014 (when i was 18/19 at the time and he was 25… he ended up being the first person of many i’d EVER block on social media lol). or i don't want them in the hands of those weird early 20s dudes (one of which was trying to set me up with his friend) who hit on me at 16/17 (2012) who were angry that i didn’t like and watch porn as much as they did…. and who promptly asked me at the end of their period of harassing of me: “do you know any sluts we could add?” because i kept refusing their suggestions etc.

hell, quite frankly i don’t even want them to go to mr adelaide fuckboy/MAF either, but the very few and far between nudes that i sent on snapchat to him back in 2016 are some nudes that i’d rather forget lmao. hell. i don’t even know if MAF ever deleted my nudes or shared them somewhere else or not, after he fucking wheedled them out of me with “i’ve followed you for 4 years, don’t be a shit! you owe me nudes!” so he’d just shut the fuck up about my social life decisions and leave me the fuck alone.

i don’t want ANY ONE of the guys i mentioned above to get their hands on photos of minors either…. because i definitely know my hs stalker/creeper would… because his fave “make her jealous” tactic that he’s always used on me is that “hey…. i’m dating a *insert teenage girl’s age here*! be fucking jealous that you don’t fucking have me and feel guilty that you won’t fuck me like this girl does!!!” just like he did in 2015, when i ran into him on the home from uni… when i turned 20 the next week and he turned 20 that december. at that time it was a 14yo girl he used as an example of him “dating”/“fucking” to make me jealous. instead, i was completely and utterly fucking disgusted. like any fucking sane and normal human being would/should be at that horrible age gap. that is literally a fucking child that he was fucking grooming. and we were literal adults. back the fuck away.

just please. PLEASE CONSIDER the types of people that trawl these kinds of sites and their intentions. please consider that you are young. very fucking young. you literally DO NOT need to upload nudes to the internet because it’s apparently a “lucrative” business. fuck the jokey “boss babe” rhetoric around it all the way to fucking hell.

because if you’re a minor: i do not want you to have your first experience of sexting or sending explicit images literally in front of god knows how many total strangers for the whole world to see (okay i know only fans is like subscriber/follower based or whatever. but i don’t care)…… even when you (depending how good you are with relationships etc) haven’t reached the common supposed milestones of your “first boyfriend/girlfriend/partner” or “first kiss” or have even “lost your virginity” (which isn’t real anyway- don’t buy this fucking bullshit)…. just like i stupidly did with my exposure to sexting here on my tumblr back in 2013. these people don’t/won’t give a flying fuck about your privacy or safety. they don’t/won’t give a fuck about your boundaries either.

please don’t possibly scar yourself for life, just because you’re being told that it’s a quick & convenient way to make some money for weirdos on the depths of the internet. you will regret it in future. just like i do now with mine. it should’ve been something personal between me and and a guy i trusted and liked at the time. not to some random 250-500 random strangers on this hellsite (okay the notes on these posts were literally single digits or non-existent, but still… and also some of my irl friends who had tumblr saw these posts as well) for a show….. and then privately with two 28yo literal grown ass men…. who should’ve been fucking hitting on women their own goddamned age and in their own countries and NOT a 17yo high school KID (at the time) from australia; who, now in her 20s, needs therapy to sort this shit out lmao. mind you they both reeled me in with the “you’re so mature for your age” bullshit line…. which i fell for a little bit, even if it did make me feel kinda gross at the time, too. don’t fall for that bullshit either.

[stray-tori]

An Innocent Sin & the good gay flashback ft. my descent into madness

I wasn’t sure if I should post this but I mostly want it archived so here we go. This is from like,, September?

So. “An Innocent Sin” is a dumpster fire unlike anything I’ve ever seen. I don’t remember why I decided to read it. maybe I was crazy. Either way... I read it. It soon started to touch upon (very very outlandish) sexual abuse which I thought was interesting. (the angst, not so much some of the wack circumstances surrounding it)

ANYWAY. at some point... we have a flashback. And not just that. It has a gay character.

And it turns rly gay. which mind you, is still in a het smut manwha (that has a “gay” side couple, but still!)

And it destroyed me.

For those who want to read it because I genuinely think the flashback is a decent bit, it’s all the bonus chapters between chapter 77 and 78 I think. There’s a part before that too, but idk where exactly anymore. (It’s on lezhin! or your platform of choosing)

I don’t THINK you’ll need any other knowledge to get the flashback bit? but it’s been a while.

Below the cut (rip mobile users), you can read all of my amazing reactions (all of these were text messages, for context - but I took most of the replies and convos about other things out). Post is also tagged as long post. :))

(i’m serious, this is fucking long)

__________

Here I am. Liking the gay flashback character. Feck. Main dude is still straight but idk it's cute pff

This is a mess. The girl white hair likes, likes black hair, maybe, but thinks white hair is attractive

What just happened is sth I'd like to know too pff He's so cute tho omg. Watch me melt Can we stay in this flashback before everything got perverted af and before white hair gets assaulted all the time I would send an eyebrow emote if I could Context: he's asking he says it again

Ik it's not mutual but loookkk he's so sweet. He's kinda rude in present time, can't we stay in this flashback forever

I never asked for gay, never expected gay but I got gay

This story is trash why am I still reading it shdhhd

He caught his mom cheating. And now she's forcing him to watch??? What is thissss Well adoptive mom But still sudhdidu what Bitch how dare YOU exist

Save my babyyyy

Yay sister that's not yet a rapist to the rescueee

This flashback is actually just nicer in every way let's just stay here This is a super long flashback btw Idek anymore what triggered it

Okay I think I'm gonna make the sensible decision and let this dumpster fire rest and just go sleep

It was very wild. I kinda wanna see white hair get therapy but it has 90 chapters and I'm at like 30... So I'm very concerned this is gonna be very dragged out. Idek if it's even finished ahahsududi - but I do kinda wanna see where it goes and see more cute Noah (white hair) so. Here we are.

yeahhh like i was down for the sexual abuse angst but then the mother killed the adoptive son's mother bc the dad had a thing for her?? and it was someone a person studying with white hair knew and so he's investigating and I'm like how did this turn into a crime organisation kind of plot

hhhhhhh i... i appreciate these horny things also tackling abuse but it always kind of gives me weird vibes to have both, especially when its very horny. And when people are horny to people who've been abused. Idk but I'd assume... you might try NOT to tie them up if they're frequently bondaged during their assaults. I'm just.... disjdksdj hello?? am i weird?? why are they fine with it???

also this manwha is so wild, theres this murder mystery investigation thing and then theres just a couple doing honry stuff sprinkled in between and i'm like OKAY

they rescued a guy in their basement and he's understandably very traumatized and they're trying to question him cut to our main couple trying bondage which i still dont understand bECAUSE HE'S A RAPE VICITM WHY ARE YOU OKAY WITH THIS the ones questioning arent the main couple of course but idshkjds

like im glad he's somehow okay with all this horny stuff despite his trauma and im glad he can be happy and have a nice relationship but DO WE NEED THIS MUCH OF IT he's very cute tho

i like that even when i try other stuff lezhin recommends me it still has large amount of gay in it

[mei: i mean... that's pretty great, if you ask me]

I mean I agree, I'm enjoying the gay eheheh these tonal whiplashes there's not even that much white space between the panels fhjd nvm it just turned horny goddamn it can there be 1 chapter without fucking? okay, there were the flashbacks

WE ARE BACK IN FLASHBACKS but im not getting the gay relationship, sad

OH WAIT AM I GETTING GAY COMFORT bc thats very good too

OH NNOOO this turned sad very quickly

I'M SORRY IM SPAMMING BUT THIS IS JUST ANGSTY

I'M :((((

different species confirmed

I rly like them :((( I like the current girl too but it's just..... very horny with her. the flashbacks are nice [current tori edit: she’s very unloyal idk why i said I liked her] im weird HHHHH RIPPP 

someone help him he looks so saddddd

not sure if thats the most healthy relationship but I'LL TAKE IT

AWWW black hair's mom cooks mild food for them bc Noah can't eat spicy food :((( im soft

PFFF

I LOVE THE FLASHBACKS :(((

awww

i feel like theyve done much more bonding than noah's current relationship. I mean yes I think its cute when she comforts him, too, but they rarely do anything besides be horny together

OH OH THEY'RE KISSING

best buildup, honestly

the position is hornier than I'd like later here goes hope it stays cute

D-did someone just respect the word "stop"??? I am amazed

i think you might uh. have some trauma stuff too so yknow

Dohye is a little dramatic in his reassurance but it's all rly cute so I'm :(( I like them a lot pls stay like this getting invested in flashbacks is always like: ik it wont stay but pls stay like this

hELP

chapters ending in "i wanna touch him" is never good. I'm scared. Oh okay he didnt do anything. PHEW. He's already better than the girl, can't they just end up together lmao

[Noah was jealous]

w-why do you look so evil dohye haukdhjs

oh. oh no. the horny is starting. pls dont... just be cute forever

DOHYE NO YOU WERE SO DECENT WHY ARE YOU LYING ABOUT KOREAN TRADITIONS TO GET HIM TO DO STUFF HORNY STUFF TOO NO PLS STOP I JUST- WHEEE TvT the manwha is actually less visually horny in the flashbacks but im not sure if its bc its BL which isnt rly the genre of the manwha or if its bc they're still kids basically, which... I'd respect the latter, tho I'd prefer it to be like this constantly haha

okay. he's not respecting stop anymore, but it's also more of embarrassed nature more than "no i dont want this stop" so maybe i can forgive it. Still losing points, but he hugged him and it was sweet so HHHHHHHHHHH NOT SURE HOW I SHOULD JUDGE THIS SITUATION

They [Noah’s family] forbid him to visit his friends house I AM DEVASTATED

understandable they're a rapist, a fucked up murderer mother and a father with a thing for younger women so

tho he dont know any of that but yknow he's so pretty just fucking end me on the spot

hooo

they are boyfriends and ik from the future that his sister is gonna ruin it allll she has those drugs that make visual imaginations feel like they rly happened to the person (dont know if thats real but holy fuck its terrifying) and she's used it before to say that Noah assualted her. and im pretty sure shes gonna use it again bc there was a panel of Noah remembering Dohye being uhhhh intimate with her and thats why Noah began to hate him and im so sad im not ready for it. bc he's denied it in the future and i honestly couldnt see it happening even before that or she drugged Dohye, i guess thats a possibility too

[current tori: oh girl, it’s neither and it’s wack]

which if, btich you gonna die even more enough rambling, more reading. this makes me so sad but also spicy

on the manwha note, he thinks Noah doesnt like his family bc he's adopted and doesnt feel comfy which....... fair enough i suppose. and he's so cute im gonna melt just looK AT THIS 

SHUt UP, IM GONNA CRY

OH MY GODDDD he ate like ice and gum and all that, and Dohye assumed it was bc of the more spicy food and got rl worried, but he was just trying to get the smell out of his breath bc he wanted to kiss him ukhsdjs HOW CAN YOU BE SO CUTE HELLLOOOOOOOOO

look at them. LOOK AT mY BABIESSSS

how am i ever gonna care about the main couple again aww he-he wanted to go to the same highschool as him :((( im sad bc i know its not gonna happennnnnn

[mei: also at this point, you're literally never gonna care about them. i don't even know the main couple that well and i honestly don't care about them whatsoever.]

WAIT NO they're actually going to the same school awww ik it wont take long until sister fucks it up for them but for now theyre so sweet ohmygodddd

cant he move in with them, fuck his family honestly

dohye he's not a fucking pokemon iukhsdjs

oh. its. turning horny i am displeased with this development but i guess its natural for their relationship however COULD YOU DO IT AT HOME AND NOT IN SOME DUSTY SMALL ROOM how do ppl do this i like that the comments too are just "... is anyone still carng about the other girl?" sakjds

this is the best 3 panels in existence.

h-he just took your hand dohye idk what to tell you

[mei: "you blush at everything i do" god if that isn't me, idk what is]

awww its cute dohye is getting bonus points bc he invited Noah over while his mom wasnt home, they watched some sexual stuff and he DIDNT try to do anything what is this where can i get more of this

"well im not okay"

MY BABIESSSS 

they still didnt do much btw they're just kinda exploring and its honestly nice TvT I dont want this to ever endddd

[Dohye sees Noah’s sister and approaches her] N O

N OOOO

this is the starttttt of something.......... TERRIBLEEEE 

:((( babyyyy

I AM EMO

Noah was drugged im sure. hes having dreams and waking up in pain and the sister is asking doyhe over I DONT LIKE THISSSSSSS OH HE DECLINED

OKAY OKAY he saw him with her again but it was from behind and im not sure if it rly happened??? oh no this is terrible. Noah :((( poor child

i am so emo about this

[reminder he’s been abused TvT]

[the sister: “Don’t you want to know why?”]

i will. murder someone he called to ask her to delete his number btw what is this manwha but this is just gonna make it that more tragic when whatever happens that breaks them apart :(((

he's such a good bf but Noah just wont TELL him his side I'M SO SAD

I AM SO SAD

No

NO

It cant end im actually tearing up nooo you were so cuteeee and happpyyy

[*sister is telling dohye to come to the gym hall*]

what else is she gonna do she already teared [current tori: ahem... T O R E] them apart THAT'S NOT DOYhE. THATS NEVER HIM. OH MY GOD. is it a look alike??? damn, she's dedicated to just. ruining it, huh

I’M

I’M SO SAD

now he's switching SCHOOLS NO NOOOOO how will i ever find happiness againnnn NO they're misunderstanding further they're not talking properly i mean i get it but oh my god

I'M :((( 

NO NOOOO pls make up in the future at least omg he tried to clear it up tooo ahhh i dont even have hopes for them getting back together but i just i want them to clear it up im crying first manwha to make me cry and it's this dumpster fire ahaha maybe a little too bc it kinda hit a little close to home i guess but goddamnn ittttt they were so cuteee and so happy and AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

OH NO. Noahs getting drugged and assaulted. And he's realizing it happened before, he just forgot. I am. so sad it's not horny drawn either which i appreciate but MY HEART NO

N O DONT YOU DARE MAKE THIS WORSE

Im. gonna cry more 

Doyhe kept an eye on him im so emo :(( but he thought he was doing well enough and gave up.... Im im so sad no i want you to make up and get back together its all just a stupid........... MEHHHH will i ever find sth like this flashback again

[mei: p-probably not, no]

i am so devasted i dont even wanna go back to the main couple just fucking. i want this relationship back :(((( but i guess the investigation might end up somewhere so hhh hhhhhhhhhhhhhh the baker manwha had a similar flashback feeling so. i just gotta find more of that haha

BUT THIS WAS SO SAD??? im so emo

[Dohye got kidnapped // the flashback commentary stops here but I think my descend into madness is pretty funny too]

OH YEAH THAT HAPPENED. THE FLASHBACK WAS SO LONG I FORGOT. NOOOO SAVE HIM. JESUS CHRIST PLS JUST ONE GOOD THING

its. actually rly smart to have another, more focused on them flashback, before the arc where he gets kidnapped by the rapist murder household so. good job. from a meta perspective but also NO but also. maybe theres hope for them making up at least after all :(((

[main couple kissing] this is. very weird now. but im glad he has someone, he deserves it but dohyeeeee

and switching to sex, YET AGAIN now i wanna see this EVEN LESS THAN I DID BEFOREEEE it's even.... a threesome now with one of the other characters why are you like this why can't you be. like in the flashback i am so upset HAHHHHH WHEEEZEEEE

I am just stop fucking jesus christ PLEASE I DONT WANNA SEE IT ANYMOREEEEE

im just stop the horny pls just tell me who that new guy is and why doyhe likes him so much

[mei: this manwha is a fucking mess but at least we got your lovely commentary out of it]

dhsuksj thanks i feel honored at least i got cute BL out of it before everything went [back] to shit

[mei: THAT TOO]

[...]

tbh im getting kinda mad about doyhe... i dont... feel like he'd just fall instantly for a guy who looks like Noah... but eh not my character

i just want closure for dohye at this point, fuck everything else ... not literally pls theres already too much of that

pls get it together for like 1 chapter is the investigation even still happening i am so confused save dohye plEASE wait what i have less than 10 episodes left Dont tell me this shit isnt even wrapped up yet

[Dohye is having a breakdown over the Noah double not coming to see him anymore]

yeah i this... doesnt feel like Dohye... at all... Even when Noah was rejecting him he was just kind of... taking it with some humor and maybe he was a little desperate and risky sometimes but... oh well... i do want him to get better but... im having a hard time believeing this development??? he never seemed overly anxious or anything. but who knows what else they did to him. Sister can still go fuck off tho

[...]

i mean. i liked the flashbacks a lot honestly??? it stayed simple and focused on the dynamics and less trying to balance smut with murder plots

[dm partner: NO THAT'S WHAT I MEAN LIKE CLEARLY THE AUTHOR CAN MAKE A GOOD STORY SO I'M JUST... CONFUSED AS TO WHY THEY DIDN'T STICK WITH SOME SOFT, FLUFFY BL ROMANCE MANWHA AND DECIDED TO MAKE WHATEVER THIS IS INSTEAD ]

okay i dont care bc dohye is currently getting assaulted nobody asked for this why i just. this is terrible. he was... so sweet. he doesnt deserve this. nobody does of course but jesus christ pls someone save him at least its not horny visually, one saving grace

ah... the assult is back to being depicted horny-ly thank you for nothing

[... removed some general confusion about the plot]

YES. SOME SHIP FOOD.

i am. suffering i mean i cant stop but GOD

okay so apparantly. the sister. has just an arsenal of people who look like other people Dohye, then Noah... and even Noah's GF??? this is ridiculous??

one good message 

why 

did you feel the need to add that [actual tired rage]

im gonna die this manwha is gonna kill me im laughing but im suffering oh hes arrested great and thats the end and the last update was in january of this year

why AS IN NOAH IS ARRESTED nobody who actually did anything is arrested What is this why is this AHHH I at least wanted the complete-ness of finishing this but now I'M JUST SUFFERING

[ mei: I MEAN TO BE FAIR I'D BE SUFFERING TOO BC JUST... WHAT THE FUCK I HAVE?? MANY QUESTIONS?? AND MANY CONCERNS BC THIS MANWHA IS JUST... AN EXPERIENCE ]

its an experience allright WELL

_______________

yup that’s it.

in my head, in a twist of events Dohye and Noah make up and are actual endgame. Something like that must exist out there but I won’t ask because it’d destroy the surprise and ruin the point.

That’s it.

Have a nice day.

[quentinxdelancret]

Discord Text || Quentin and Cody

Discord text thread featuring: Quentin and Cody @codyhq

When: January 31st

Mentions: @romanbeckett @aaronhart93

Description: Quentin texts cody to ask him for help making and OF account and they end up getting into a deep conversation about his relationship, and relationships in general.

Trigger Warnings: drug mentions, light sex talk, NSFW-ish

Quentin. hey man what’s up?

𝑐𝑜𝑑𝑦 𝑒𝑙𝑙𝑖𝑠. not much. are you here to fight because i insulted your boyfriend? because he's the one that broke me. so he deserved it.

Quentin. hahaha no. I’m a lover not a fighter. Unless I have to fight in which case I can tend to get a bit crazy. anyway... I don’t wanna fight lol I just had a question

𝑐𝑜𝑑𝑦 𝑒𝑙𝑙𝑖𝑠. i don't fight...i didn't really mean what i said anyways. aaron is..well i guess you know.. yeah sure, ask away.

Quentin. yeah. I do know. He’s... Yeah. uhmm anyway. You have an onlyfans account yeah?

𝑐𝑜𝑑𝑦 𝑒𝑙𝑙𝑖𝑠. Yeah, I do. Are you.. a fan?

Quentin. I might be.

𝑐𝑜𝑑𝑦 𝑒𝑙𝑙𝑖𝑠. good to know.

Quentin. I was just.. wondering if you uhm... could help me?

𝑐𝑜𝑑𝑦 𝑒𝑙𝑙𝑖𝑠. with...what exactly?

Quentin. I kinda wanna make an account. I really need the income and I also kinda wanna keep it secret

𝑐𝑜𝑑𝑦 𝑒𝑙𝑙𝑖𝑠. like you don't want daddy finding out?

Quentin. ha, yeah. Something like that I’m a very sexual person. I just don’t think I could do it they way I should if he or Roman knew

𝑐𝑜𝑑𝑦 𝑒𝑙𝑙𝑖𝑠. i guess i understand it. but if they found out... is it worth that?

Quentin. Honestly...  Idk lol

𝑐𝑜𝑑𝑦 𝑒𝑙𝑙𝑖𝑠. I just.. I'm sure he's never talked about me. But I loved him. I mean...i really loved him. Gave him everything. And he didn't want that with me. But with you two... you both got exactly what i wished for.

Quentin. I’m sorry. I wouldn’t say it’s as easy as you make it all sound though

𝑐𝑜𝑑𝑦 𝑒𝑙𝑙𝑖𝑠. and you need an escape? an outlet?

Quentin. I don’t know what I need I’m just, it’s complicated.

𝑐𝑜𝑑𝑦 𝑒𝑙𝑙𝑖𝑠. okay. so you...use an alias. you don't show your face. but your tattoos... how far are you willing to go to keep it a secret?

Quentin. The thing is, I don’t think that they would really care. It’s just, me.

𝑐𝑜𝑑𝑦 𝑒𝑙𝑙𝑖𝑠. why do you not want them to know?

Quentin. because I don’t want them to think I’d be okay with it if they did it? lol

𝑐𝑜𝑑𝑦 𝑒𝑙𝑙𝑖𝑠. oh. tricky.

Quentin. Idk it’s probably a bad idea. Everyone wants Aaron and Roman is staying with the guy who is in love with him. I just... I crave validation I guess

𝑐𝑜𝑑𝑦 𝑒𝑙𝑙𝑖𝑠. ...you have two boyfriends and you aren't feeling validated? that...sucks.

Quentin. like I said, it’s complicated. I just don’t feel worthy. Nvm

𝑐𝑜𝑑𝑦 𝑒𝑙𝑙𝑖𝑠. i get it. i often feel that way. i've dated a lot of different people. i'll help.

Quentin. you will?

𝑐𝑜𝑑𝑦 𝑒𝑙𝑙𝑖𝑠. yeah. i will.

Quentin. thank you

𝑐𝑜𝑑𝑦 𝑒𝑙𝑙𝑖𝑠. on one condition.

Quentin. uh oh.. what’s the condition?

𝑐𝑜𝑑𝑦 𝑒𝑙𝑙𝑖𝑠. aaron can never know i helped you.

Quentin. well, that shouldn’t be a problem since I don’t want him to know anything

𝑐𝑜𝑑𝑦 𝑒𝑙𝑙𝑖𝑠. good. first you need an alias. the rest is...i mean look at you, it'll be easy.

Quentin. that’s sweet

𝑐𝑜𝑑𝑦 𝑒𝑙𝑙𝑖𝑠. please as f you don't know.

Quentin. I know other people feel that way. Just wish I could see it

𝑐𝑜𝑑𝑦 𝑒𝑙𝑙𝑖𝑠. fuck. you're fucking gorgeous.

Quentin. thank you. so are you. now stop making me wanna kiss you lol

𝑐𝑜𝑑𝑦 𝑒𝑙𝑙𝑖𝑠. i can't help that i'm so adorable. you'll just have to deal with that.

Quentin. hahaha fair enough I just wanna kiss everybody. It’s a real issue

𝑐𝑜𝑑𝑦 𝑒𝑙𝑙𝑖𝑠. i just fall in love with everybody. and no one falls in love with me.

Quentin. wow, why not? I would.

𝑐𝑜𝑑𝑦 𝑒𝑙𝑙𝑖𝑠. i'm..a lot.

Quentin. you and me both apparently

𝑐𝑜𝑑𝑦 𝑒𝑙𝑙𝑖𝑠. I guess that's why it takes two guys to corral you? i've always thought that might be the missing piece for me.

Quentin. I guess so. I just fell in love with them both and couldn’t choose it was hell until it wasn’t

𝑐𝑜𝑑𝑦 𝑒𝑙𝑙𝑖𝑠. i dated a married couple once. it was..amazing.

Quentin. I bet! Although dating two does come with its struggles you are always having to choose who to be with or when. Or wonder if you are giving more to one than the other and on top of that. You’re so clingy and it’s just a mess

𝑐𝑜𝑑𝑦 𝑒𝑙𝑙𝑖𝑠. I suppose. my situation was different. they moved me in. i was like...their baby. until the real baby came around at least.

Quentin. that sounds nice. I love being baby. But when real babies come along it does make it more complicated

𝑐𝑜𝑑𝑦 𝑒𝑙𝑙𝑖𝑠. infinitely. but i knew that from the start. still, if you're unhappy...

Quentin. I’m not unhappy. I’m just, struggling to keep a happy medium a lot of the time

𝑐𝑜𝑑𝑦 𝑒𝑙𝑙𝑖𝑠. yeah, that's why god invented anxiety pills.

Quentin. hahaha yeah I was popping molly every day like tic tacs until Aaron asked me to stop now I’m just... idek

𝑐𝑜𝑑𝑦 𝑒𝑙𝑙𝑖𝑠. that's rough. i have prescriptions for...everything if you need a hook up.

Quentin. I’ll get back to you on that.

𝑐𝑜𝑑𝑦 𝑒𝑙𝑙𝑖𝑠. well in the meantime make a list of things you will and will not do on your OF

Quentin. I don’t really have a won’t do list

𝑐𝑜𝑑𝑦 𝑒𝑙𝑙𝑖𝑠. you're going to be popular.

Quentin. I’ve done pretty much everything when I was an escort sooo might as well go hard

𝑐𝑜𝑑𝑦 𝑒𝑙𝑙𝑖𝑠. will you only do solo stuff?

Quentin. considering I have two boyfriends that would probably be ideal.

𝑐𝑜𝑑𝑦 𝑒𝑙𝑙𝑖𝑠. well then there's your list.

Quentin. Jesus, now you got me thinking about getting sucked off on camera lmao I have real issues lol

𝑐𝑜𝑑𝑦 𝑒𝑙𝑙𝑖𝑠. it's just a job. i'd offer but...i won't.

Quentin. yeah, it’s probably best you don’t I don’t wanna end up hating my life for a few good moments of loving it

𝑐𝑜𝑑𝑦 𝑒𝑙𝑙𝑖𝑠. not worth losing everything over a bj

Quentin. exactly! I could ask Roman though lol I don’t think he would be willing but I could ask lol

𝑐𝑜𝑑𝑦 𝑒𝑙𝑙𝑖𝑠. it's hard. a lot of partners don't like the OF job.

Quentin. yeah, jealousy is a real bitch I would know cause I’m def the jealous type lol

𝑐𝑜𝑑𝑦 𝑒𝑙𝑙𝑖𝑠. i actually kinda like when my partner is jealous

Quentin. me too, but I don’t get that often.

𝑐𝑜𝑑𝑦 𝑒𝑙𝑙𝑖𝑠. i just..shows they care

Quentin. I’m the green monster of this relationship for sure

𝑐𝑜𝑑𝑦 𝑒𝑙𝑙𝑖𝑠. i get it though. i've been the guy dating aaron before.

Quentin. yeah you know what the real kicker is?

𝑐𝑜𝑑𝑦 𝑒𝑙𝑙𝑖𝑠. it's like...everyone thinks they own a piece of him. but he's yours. he's only yours and you shouldn't have to feel like he's everyone elses.

Quentin. yes that! and it’s hard to believe if someone actually loves you and means it when they are saying the same things to someone else as well. I struggle with that myself.  Like, I always feel like I’m being naughty lol

𝑐𝑜𝑑𝑦 𝑒𝑙𝑙𝑖𝑠. but the heart is capable of so much love.

Quentin. yes, yes it is.

𝑐𝑜𝑑𝑦 𝑒𝑙𝑙𝑖𝑠. i really think it's possible to fully love two people at once. i know i could.

Quentin. yeah, I know I do! But it’s still something I’m getting used to I guess. It’s so different then what I ever imagined

𝑐𝑜𝑑𝑦 𝑒𝑙𝑙𝑖𝑠. it's not all threesomes lol been there. couldn't imagine sharing aaron though. maybe that's why he thought i was too much.

Quentin. I didn’t wanna share either ngl but, it’s harder when it’s Roman. Idk if it’s because we were best friends first? But god, I’d break fingers over him. Well, Aaron too. But yeah lol

𝑐𝑜𝑑𝑦 𝑒𝑙𝑙𝑖𝑠. you love them both

Quentin. I just wanna give them everything and if they want each other than who am I to stop them?

𝑐𝑜𝑑𝑦 𝑒𝑙𝑙𝑖𝑠. but they're with you. they want you. isn't that amazing? you're so lucky.

Quentin. I am lucky. I just wish I’d stop feeling like they want me to have each other

𝑐𝑜𝑑𝑦 𝑒𝑙𝑙𝑖𝑠. have you...expressed that to them?

Quentin. kinda. They think I’m crazy and that it’s all in my head. Which I guess they aren’t wrong

𝑐𝑜𝑑𝑦 𝑒𝑙𝑙𝑖𝑠. right. but have they put you at ease? because your feelings are natural and valid.

Quentin. idk, I guess not since I still feel it. lol

𝑐𝑜𝑑𝑦 𝑒𝑙𝑙𝑖𝑠. i think you just need more boyfriend kisses

Quentin. lmao I always need that

𝑐𝑜𝑑𝑦 𝑒𝑙𝑙𝑖𝑠. i haven't had boyfriend kisses in so long

Quentin. I should hook you up with someone. But idk who lol

𝑐𝑜𝑑𝑦 𝑒𝑙𝑙𝑖𝑠. I have a few...friendships on the go. for the first time in a long time i'm not trying to force myself into anything.

Quentin. that’s good though. it’s always better when it just happens

𝑐𝑜𝑑𝑦 𝑒𝑙𝑙𝑖𝑠. yeah. i'm just a little bit like a lost puppy when i'm single.

Quentin. well, if it helps at all. I don’t think you’ll stay that way very long

𝑐𝑜𝑑𝑦 𝑒𝑙𝑙𝑖𝑠. here's hoping i don't need to be flirting with daddy's boyfriend.

Quentin. hahahaha well, since you are calling him daddy. I don’t see the harm in it at least you care enough to include me

𝑐𝑜𝑑𝑦 𝑒𝑙𝑙𝑖𝑠. yeah, i got used to calling him that. he never really was 'aaron' to me. but you seem good for him.

Quentin. yeah.. well, thank you.

𝑐𝑜𝑑𝑦 𝑒𝑙𝑙𝑖𝑠. i hope this helps you find what you're missing. it's helped me a lot.

Quentin. I’m glad. It’s help me as well.

𝑐𝑜𝑑𝑦 𝑒𝑙𝑙𝑖𝑠. just get ready for some weird requests on OF

Quentin. I’m always ready for those lol

𝑐𝑜𝑑𝑦 𝑒𝑙𝑙𝑖𝑠. you seem like the type to be down for anything.

Quentin. I am indeed! I guess you can say I’m a people pleaser

𝑐𝑜𝑑𝑦 𝑒𝑙𝑙𝑖𝑠. yeah me too.

[cindersnightmare]

oscar fic recommends and warnings

sooo i read a lot of oscar fanfiction on wattpad and i figured i could give you guys some recommendations of good ones and warnings about others. btw, most of these are by wulfiejamie on wattpad, she has like 60 stories about oscar lmao.

RECOMMENDS:

1.) I Like It Like That - wulfiejamie. Really the only thing that someone would find “wrong” with this story is that oscar’s s.o. is 13 while he’s 16, so if that’s something you’re not comfortable with then don’t read lol. but other than that, the story is really cute and well written. it has funny parts and adorable parts. there’s also some smut btw. 

2.) Give Me You - wulfiejamie. Really good story, oscar is a dad which is fucking adorable and his s.o. has a son of her own and they become a family. it’s really cute but also has some emotional scenes, some arguments and stuff. also some violence and abuse but not oscar inflicting on his girl.

3.) Unscathed - rocclobster. FUCKING ADORABLE. the main girl is so cute and sweet and oscar is, well, oscar lmaooo. she’s new to freeridge and becomes a part of the squad and then starts hanging around oscar. honestly this story isn’t very far along yet but it’s so well written and i can’t wait to see what happens because i love it so much already. 

4.) No Te Enamores - wulfiejamie. sooo there’s a lot of bullying in this story and some is like...explicit. but other than that it’s very sweet and oscar and his girl are very cute together. btw she’s pregnant and underage, that’s not a spoiler cause you find out in the first chapter and it’s what the whole book is about lmao,

5.) Kaleidoscope - wulfiejamie. oscar is such a cutie in this story. so is everyone, really. but basically the main girl is blind and new to the country and is staying with ruby since they’re family. oscar becomes her friend and they’re so cute together. but there’s also some bullying and violence against her in this fic and it’s kinda sad, but if you’re okay with reading that then i highly recommend.

6.) Destino - wulfiejamie. THIS BOOK HAS MY HEART. it’s really emotional and the main girl is grieving and has a kid, oscar kinda steps up and they become a family. it has some violence ofc but not much else to warn you about, besides smut and mention of rape but that last part isn’t in detail.

7.) Ayudame - wulfiejamie. Lots of violence, nudity and shit like that but really well written and it’s pretty different from her other stories. the main girl and oscar become fast friends and protect each other. highly recommend!

8.) Vagabond - wulfiejamie. there’s domestic violence and rape in this story, also smut. oscar and the main girl are really cute together and they go through a lot. it’s a very emotional story and basically oscar is helping her get out of a messed up situation she’s been in for too long. 

WARNINGS:

1.) Hood Fever series - wulfjamie. THIS SERIES IS FUCKING GORY. there’s a lot of killing, a lot of violence, especially violence against women. i read the first book and didn’t finish the second for a lot of reasons. since the series is 3 books long and each is over a 100 chapters, there’s a lot of repeated storylines and it gets boring and annoying. oscar cheats a lot and they break up a lot and it’s very toxic. then in the second book it gets weirdly sexual with their friend group. like every guy in the gang wants to fuck oscar or they all want a threesome with oscar and his girl, and a threesome was starting in the second book and that’s when i stopped reading. so it basically made me uncomfortable and if you don’t like those things, then DO NOT READ THIS SERIES.

2.) Ven Aca - wulfiejamie. sooo i actually like this story but one things bothers me A LOT. oscar and the girl meet when she’s 12 and he's 17. they don’t have any sexual contact but it’s obvious that they’re flirty and falling in love and shit. then oscar goes to jail and comes out when he’s 19 and she’s 14. she has a boyfriend and she cheats on him with oscar, like a fucking 14 year old and a 19 year old are having sex. in a lot of wulfiejamie’s stories, the girl is underage, but normally only by like a year or two. but 12 and 14, this crosses the line, don’t you think?

3.) Es Complicado - wulfiejamie. i honestly didn’t finish this story because it was pissing me off lmaoo. idek what to say about oscar and the main girl cause you go through a whole book of them kinda hating each other but needing each other and they’re denying their feelings, and you genuinely can’t understand what’s going on between them. it’s fucking weird. they change their minds a lot and honestly it gives me a headache. 

4.) Tattoo Artist - onmyspooky. sooo this kinda starts when oscar was in jail and the main girl was raped by prophets and her son was a product of that. the santos protect her without oscar knowing. when he gets home, him and the girl go out on dates and he hangs around her son. but he literally just wants sex. that’s it. so he orders the santos to stop protecting her and she gets raped again, and oscar literally doesn’t give a shit he just wants to fuck her. i stopped reading after that because oh my fucking god that’s horrible. 

SOOO YEAH those are my recommends and warnings. sorry it was so long lol. i get that oscar and on my block deal with uncomfortable shit but sometimes fanfics take that and run with it and tbh i hate it lmao. and i’m not saying that these people are bad writers and should feel bad, idk i just wanted to warn some of you guys since i wasn’t warned lol.

[knightofameris]

hi baby !! oh gosh it’s been awhile isn’t it? there has been some family stuff going on and I’m so sorry i couldn’t reach out sooner.

but i saw your post about the she/they thing and i just wanna say that I’m proud 🥺, i know you are still confused but you are a step further to be the best ‘you’ and for that, i am vv proud. like 🧸 (bb, pspsps iloveu) said, i will support you no matter what !! ahh this is exciting hehe.

i also came here to talk about my dream lol. It was just so bizarre that idek how it got to my brain at the first place. you can just skip the rest of the ask if you don’t want to read it, it can get lengthy haha.

so, i was in my house with my family and there was literal zombies all around the place (they are the ones who walk fast like in the walking dead). i somehow was stuck with my sister at the bathroom and we can’t get out cus there are a bunch of zombies at the other side of the door, so we connect our phones with the bluetooth speaker that we had and just blast WAP on the speakers to distract them. it worked and we escaped.

we then went to our parents’ bedroom where they got weapons ??? (we don’t have weapons around the house irl) and like, they have this cool secret base thing like, if you press a button another part of the house will open up yknow? we went into the basement, and there i found a friend, let’s call him jared idk haha. (let’s just say that i rlly have a weird friendship with him? like i had done some embarrassing stuff infront of him and he was always chill with it. and a bunch of my other friends had teased me and shipped me w/ him and i just brush it off kinda thing? he has been friends with me since we were children so at this point, idk if he’s just being nice or if he actually cares about me)

anyways, my parents started assigning roles (there was a bunch, like a medic, scavenger and stuff) that we all can do and i was in charged of taking care of my younger cousins with Jared. we were told that we should stay in the base at all times, no going out unless my parents told us to. sooo it means that i am alone with him for most of the dream. we started talking abt aspirations and dreams and i kid you not, it’s like those movie scenes where everything slowed down and your eyes goes big bcs you saw him talking so passionately. i never had feelings for him so this is just confusing hNNGGG it literally feels magical tho 😭😭

I don’t exactly remember what happens next but i remembered that there are a group of survivors that broke in our house and we had to tie them up bcs they are slowly turning to zombies. there was a child zombie who was stuck in the fridge and i felt bad so i asked if they want to get out 😭, being dumb enough to let them kill me 😭😭

anyways, long story short: is it possible to fall in love with someone bcs of your own dreams? cus i am actually conflicted haha. —🍒

AHDIAJDJSJDJ BB ITS OKAY TAKE CARE OF YOURSELF AND YOUE LOVED ONES. if you ever need anything i’m here for you okah?

tbh!!! the idea of someone using they kinda makes me go !!!! i’m still fine with she but!!! she/they!!!! anyway crisis ensues

ALSO I LOVE WHEN PEOLLE SHARE DREAMS W ME LOL. that sounds so fun? and weird? LMAO

but also bro no i feel that,,,,,, i’ve definitely crushed on people cus of a dream 👁👄👁 also childhood friends i- my favorite trope i-

i would sleep on it tho (heh) just to see if anything comes out of it and if it’s actually infatuation or not?

ALSO i’m sure he cares about you if the two of you have been friends for so long!!!!

i wish you the best tho because i know feelings are a bitch hnnng

[lateasalways]

To the anon who asked “ what do you mean by reading gary's book "if you want to be disturbed"? “

I have a lot of feelings and this got loooooong I'm sorry about that lol.

The short answer is I thought the book was very interesting and wanted to recommend it if you want to know more about Elton from a different perspective. But then on the other hand, I found the book a bit disturbing so I just wanted to kind of say that as a warning, cause although it was very fascinating it wasn't exactly very pleasant reading. Now, what makes it disturbing? Where do I start?

The thing is, Elton has already admitted to basically everything that's in there so there's nothing too shocking and I had kind of pieced together what he's like from the 4 other books I've read about him and all the interviews I've watched and read (don't judge lmao, it was lockdown although I would’ve done it anyway), but what's like 2 sentences in his own book is over 200 pages here so it's just very detailed. And it's from 1982-1990 which was obviously his worst period when it comes to drugs and that, so it's some really awful behavior that's described. But on the other hand, Gary obviously focuses on the bad stuff although it would've had to be good stuff as well cause he was dumped about 5 times and knew very well what Elton was like, yet he came back every time, he even reached out himself, and he claims he wasn't a gold digger either so it must've been something?

So basically when I got the book I read it in a little more than a day which was just too fast to process anything and I was kinda disturbed cause it's just so... God idek where to begin it's just a ride and a half like... I guess what's disturbing is just in general how he treated people, like he met Gary 3 times I think before he asked him to move in with him, and Gary's Australian so it's not a light hearted decision, but he came and went with him on tour and didn't like it cause Elton wanted him to be with him at all times and since he's been all over the world a million times over he couldn't be bothered to go out and do anything so Gary was bored witless and when he said he wanted to leave, Elton's genius solution was to, wait for it, shave off his eyebrows in protest like.... wtf even???? I mean that part made me howl but it's so weird!! Actually you have to read it for yourself cause I can't say it better than Davey.

So somehow it worked and he stayed but after a while Elton got tired and sent him home. But then their parents became really good friends somehow?? So they got in touch again and got back together, but eventually Gary caught him cheating and confronted him and that got him sent home again. Then the 3rd time they got together Elton suddenly decided it was a good idea to get married to Renate and he didn't even tell Gary first. And not only that but Gary had to go with her and help find a wedding dress???? Poor guy???? And then he just sat in his hotel room paid for by Elton, watching the wedding coverage on tv?? It’s so fucking absurd! Then he met with Renate 2 weeks later cause they were friends and basically the marriage was already over but I mean Oprahshrug.gif. After that Elton contacted Gary whenever he was in Australia only because he wanted a threesome and for some reason Gary obliged which is... idk why cause he says he wanted to move on but I guess not that bad. The last time they met was on a month-long holiday after Elton got clean and it seems like they had a great time and Gary asked for a job afterward and Elton was like sure, but it never happened and Gary kept pushing and eventually Elton changed his phone number (which he does regularly) and he never heard from him again. The book came out in 1995 tho and I have no idea if they ever spoke after that. To me it seems like the holiday was kind of to make up for everything and that he wanted to move on after that, but Gary clearly didn't see it that way. Elton paid for his whole pilot education so I think he wanted him to get a job away from him but then instead Gary wanted to move to England again and work for Elton and when that didn't happen he seemed kind of petty about it? Which is why I don't want to take absolutely everything he says at face value cause the book seems a bit revenge-y after that. Like I believe what he writes, but like I said he clearly focuses on the negative things and rarely go into the good times, so there's that. Plus Elton is obviously very aware of his bad behavior in that period and has grown since then, good for him. 

But I guess what disturbed me was just how he treated Gary and presumably his other boyfriends like objects without feelings and in a way his treatment of them was a bit like how John Reid used to treat him? So maybe it was a way to avoid that happening to him again? Or maybe that's just the way cocaine makes you, idk. It's probably a combination. But like one thing was the fact that he made them give up their lives to be with him and throw them away when he got bored or cheat, the other thing is the fact that he used to keep nude photos of them which, again, I already knew, but reading about it from the other side gave me the creeps a bit cause it’s almost like they were just another one of his collections. But then I also think it was kind of a coping mechanism with the fact that he knew (or thought, cause Gary clearly loved him) that most of his boyfriends were just gold diggers and that he was really afraid of getting hurt so he would rather kind of distance himself emotionally. Oh God this is turning into amateur psychologist hour, I better stop lmao! Bottom line, I thought the book was very VERY interesting, but parts of it was really dark and at times disturbing.

If you're still with me anon (you’re a trouper if you are), thank you for the ask! I've been dying to discuss this book since I read it and I have a lot on my chest as you can see so if there’s anything else you’re wondering about, feel free to come off anon and give me another ask :)

[keeperofssouls]

1, 7, 9, 13, 17, 19, 26, 29, 30, 31, 32, 36, 40, 41, 51, 52, 55, 56, 57, 59, 63, 81, 92, 104, 106, 119, 120, 121, 123, 153, 162, and 238 please baby :) also sorry it’s so long hehe

1- How are you? 

tired but happy to be with my girl and v in love hehehe 

7- Your zodiac/horoscope and if you think it fits your personality:

aries and hmm idk some times i can totally see myself in my zodiac sign and other times i just like ~cant~ at all but at the end of the day i think im such an aries in so many ways haha

9- What is one thing you would like to accomplish before your next birthday?

better mental health 

13- If you could change your eye color, would you?

prob would to blue

17- Say 8 facts about your body: 

idek what to do for this haha so: 5′ 4 1/2-3/4”, 8.5 shoe size, curly hair, dark brown eyes, brown hair, and enjoy two random facts about ur body because i cant think of anymore and im only at 6 haha 1. Babies are born with 300 bones – adults have 206. 2. You are taller in the morning than you are at night. hehehe

19- Do you have any piercings?

yes ma’am one per earlobe hehe

26- Something you are working on right now:

college apps *finger guns*

29- What would you say is your best quality?

probably that im v loving? idkkkk lol

30- What do you think you’re really good at?

turning you on giving hugs and listening hehe

31- What do you think you’re really bad at?

not procrastinating haha 

32- What talent do you wish you’d been born with?

teleportation count? hehe

36- Has someone ever spread a nasty rumor about you?

nope

40- What do you think about the most?

you hehehe

41- Share 2 habits:

procrastinating and not drinking enough water lmao

51- Are you allergic to anything? If so, what?

cats maybe but not sure lol 

52- Ever broken any bones?

nope amazingly enough (have had ankle surgery tho woohoo hehe)

55- A random fact about yourself:

i wear a lot of black lmao

56- What are three things most people don’t know about you?

i write poetry, i started taking french in 4th grade, i like doing the new york times mini crosswords hehe 

57- An unknown fact about your life:

not totally sure what this is asking but ig that ive always been vegetarian lol

59- Five weird things that you like:

i can literally only think of one for this lmao: sour cream on this one pizza

63- A quote you try to live by:

i dont think i have one but “treat people with kindness” is a good rule of thumb 

81- What are the top five places you wish you could go before you die?

between your legs your bed, italy, germany, england, france

92- Say 7 facts about your childhood:

i lived in 4 states, i took ballet for like a year, i played basketball, i was kinda a theatre kid haha, my fam had three dogs, i did a voiceover for a legal video for a case, i used to have straight kinda blonde hair lmao 

104- Do you have someone you can be your complete self around?

yes ma’am hehe

106- Is there anyone you can tell EVERYTHING to?

yes i think so hehe

119- What is your idea of the perfect date?

literally anything with you hehe but like maybe a photo booth, long drive, good food, walk and holding hands, cuddling and looking at the stars together, and stuff 

120- Based on past relationships or crushes, describe your perfect boyfriend/girlfriend:

4′10″, amazing smile and eyes, really cute dimples, glasses, long black hair, caring, impatient ;), dehydrated, sleepy hehe, great listener and super caring, there for it all, supportive, funny hehe, easy to talk to and hang out with, compatible with me aka ummmm you hehe

121- What is the first thing you noticed in someone?

smile, eyes, style, hair (well first four things haha)

123- What’s the most superficial characteristic you look for?

nice eyes and smile hehe 

153- If you have a boyfriend/girlfriend, what is your favorite thing about him/her?

e v e r y t h i n g hehe

162- The last time you felt jealous, and why?

i dont think i have felt jealous in a while so idek lmao

238- Something you’re currently worrying about:

college, life, the usual haha

Thank you for the ask babygirl hehe and i never mind long asks especially from you :) 😘🥰🤗

[cinnaxis]

Some of my thoughts on religion, as prompted by the recent EB. It got pretty long quick so I just put it under the cut so it won’t bother your dashboard hehe

I am not religious, though I’m Catholic on paper (idk if it’s a thing in other countries to have religion listed on your birth certificate) and was baptized in a Catholic church before I even turned a year old. I live in a predominantly Catholic country (or should I use Christian?? idek how they’re different, I really just don’t pay too much attention to religion-related stuff sorry) but my parents weren’t that religious as well, in the sense that they weren’t crazy about going to mass every week (though they were surprised to find out I don’t pray at night, so I’m guessing they’re religious to that extent). I did go to a Catholic elementary school. We had mass every first Friday of the month i think, celebrated every holiday that had something to do with religion (I even once won a Bible quiz bee lmao though I think I was just really good at studying).

Ever since I’ve been confused about all these religion and faith business. Like, I just didn’t really.. care? It has always been an on-off thing for me. There were times when I tried going to church every week for months and pray consistently every night. But then I just stop caring. And then I care again. And then not care. I only attended masses when it was held in school. It’s weird since I’ve always been surrounded by people who were super religious. Like people who really want to convert you to their religion so that you’d be saved. And they believe that they’ve already been saved. Heck, I think my best friend at the time was like that. But their piousness just didn’t rub off on me I guess?? Now that I’m writing this, it feels even weirder. There were also times when I tried going to... uhh.. cell groups of my Christian friends just to support them, but I never wanted to go there on my own volition.

I guess it’s mostly because religions are often so exclusive. They shun “””sinners””” (y’know, people in the LGBT community, people who engage in pre-marital sex lol, though I do have some friends from high school who aren’t so close-minded as to do this), and I never got why they do that? If I’m going to be a good person, I’d do it because it’s just the right thing to do, not because it’s written on some outdated book. And why the heck should I judge other people like that, isn’t that the opposite of what is being taught by that religion?

And I guess I just kept questioning existential shit like, why is there suffering? How does God determine who suffers and who does not? Why are there bad people? I remember reading the Bible as a child and getting scared while reading the story of Job, who IIRC got everything taken away from him because God wanted to test him, and when he was able to show his loyalty and faith God rewarded him with new family and wealth. So what I thought back then was, why the heck was God doing this?? Why was he punishing good people as well? I thought he was supposed to be good? All-encompassing? Unbiased? Loving?? If I become a good person, will God test me and kill all my loved ones and give me diseases?? That’s kinda fucked up, no? But yeah, it got existential and scary real quick, and I guess my reaction was to bail on it.

IDK why I mentioned all of that, I guess I just got in a reflective mood because of EB. I’m lucky that I wasn’t negatively affected by religion, and I’m hoping for the best to all of the others who were. We will all get over our traumas someday.

[spockular]

wow ok i meant to write a lil paragraph ranting about how im crazy etc but it got bigger im prob gonna delete later

ok nobody wants to read this and honestly i dont want them to but i dont have anyone to talk to about this & its been eating away at me lately for some reason so! uh im rly bad about like. letting things go and i’ve been single for like five fucking years bc im disgusting but i check up on my ex now and then (sometimes more often than others) because i dont even know why honestly.... idk i think i just got a glimpse into what life as a gay trans etc could be for a second when we were together and even afterwards when i was still friends with some of our mutual friends (im still friends with one of them but the rest i no longer speak to). like our relationship wasnt great and i was terrified the entire time to the point of like. not eating for days and shit (one time i passed out in the hallway of its dorm from anxiety and hunger lmfao) but thats kinda irrelevant now. 

anyways its long over and but bc i am petty and angry all the time and have had very little going for me socially for p much my entire life im still sad about how little connection we actually had and how desperate i was for us to be close but was continually denied that. im sad for my little teenage self and im sad about what that did to me as a person (a lot of this falls on my own shoulders but i’ll just say its been a real long slow journey from then to now and im still trudging along). 

i do still care about my ex tho just like. as a person and even though it fucks me up in ways i still dont rly know how to articulate i like to check its social medias every once in a while just to see whats up etc. kinda recently my ex and its current partner (someone i used to be friends with) started t and im happy for them both but it also feels like such a punch to the gut like.... theyve had more time to figure out their gender i think (idk the exact situation obvs) bc ive been so shut down for my entire life but it just feels rly shitty. and i feel shitty for feeling shitty bc why should i?? they arent taking anything away from me or even affecting my life at all; we havent even lived in the same side of the country for a long time and we havent spoken even longer than that. but its hard for me to see and think about either way. 

i feel weird too bc we’ve had a lot of parallels in our life that to the casual observer seems like im probably copying my ex but i honestly have not.... like we’ve both been through a few name changes and both times our new chosen names have been rly similar but its legit complete coincidence which freaks me out. and we’ve had a lot of similar interests in media and in the kind of art we make..... idk i feel rly weird about it. 

idek what i came here to say anymore im just. stressed out rly bad all the time lmao. ive been doing a lot of work on myself lately but it still feels like im not getting anywhere. i cant do therapy but ive gotten rly good at self reflection and recognizing unhealthy/destructive patterns of thought and action in myself but im not always good at correcting it because its just me and my dumb wormy brain in here. idk im rly sad i guess is the point im sorry if anyone read this whole thing and if we know each other irl im sorry if it made you feel weird i normally dont talk about this for that reason

[dancinginmydressinthesun]

Sooo I just watched Fantastic Beasts: The Crimes of Grindelwald and I am gonna rant 

THERE CAN AND PROBABLY WILL BE SPOILER SO PLEASE BE AWARE OF THAT

!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Soo the movie just ended half an hour ago or so and so these are my very first impressions. I need to say that I am gonna watch the movie again tomorrow and I am pretty sure I will see it with different eyes then but I wanted to share my initial thoughts as well. 

So tbh first, I was not too surprised with everything but this is only due to the fact that I kinda assumed some things before because I already talked to a friend about it. (Anyway, this is totally fine bc I am pretty sure I couldnt have kept track otherwise because there are a lot of things happening very fast and being prepared is not too bad). I do believe that you are going to be VERY surprised by everything if you have managed to keep all sorts of spoilers away from you tho. 

I don’t really know if I like the movie yet (we will see in the next days) but I do feel like something is missing. I mean, this is obv bc you should feel like “wtf what is happening” at the end still (and I do) but it kinda feels unsatisfying to me. I am, however, aware of the fact that this is because I dont like that you are only left with questions and no answers and everything just seems like there is a second half missing that needs to follow. This is going to be the third movie then apparently but having to wait for 2 years man? Thats tough. 

Even tho there is a lot of darkness and you feel like you wanna jump right into the movie and change stuff (*cough cough* saving the poor beasts & child & BASICALLY EVERYONE *cough cough*) I kinda liked the whole atmosphere a LOT tbh. bc I expected it to be darker actually, it was the perfect mixture of cute and funny scenes and intriguing moments. I like the characters a lot too (most of them) and I felt like even tho its more about the storylines (and there is a lot of plot and twists and everything) you do get a good glimpse of the beloved characters from the first movie and Dumbledore as well ofc. (keep in mind: I might change my mind watching it again).

I liked the beasts OF COURSE so much (they are the best tbh) and I am very happy that they decided to include so many of them and still let them play a role despite them not being a real focus anymore. I also adore Leta’s character so much now (and not only because Zoë is so unbelievably gorgeous I wanna look at her face forever *gay sigh*) and this is probably why I cannot really accept her fate yet.

What I also enjoyed a lot was Dumbledore. Although I had no clear vision of how he was when he was younger (I just assumed him to be like he was when he was old just with less beard) I think he was probably the character they made the most believable (ok but this is also because the others are mostly new characters so there is no real comparison) but he did remind me so much of a former teacher of mine, his expressions especially, and I do admit that sometimes I have daddy issues in a non-sexual way (where is the adult role model in my life who gives me advice and makes me feel appreciated ?? looking @ u dad) but well enough about me lol, Jude Law was great and he gave me a cozy feeling lets admit that. 

I loved seeing Hogwarts despite it being so short and I loved loved loved the flashbacks (i love flashbacks in general everywhere all the time so idk what this says about the quality but ...,,,) and newts case !!!!!!! sorry but those are my two favourite places tthey are really amazing ughhh dont remind me they are not real. 

Gellert Grindelwald was ... well idek. I feel like I am not equipped to judge any of it, not depps performance and not the depiction of the character so I will leave it to that now. 

Now there comes a huge spoilers dont blow this for yourself really if you havent watched it 

.

.

.

I kinda assumed credence could be a dumbledore before (dont worry, this was bc of information i got, i am no genius lol) so that was not too surprising (IF this is true) BUT that I was actually right did surprise me lmao. This is why I have already thought about the possibitly of credence being a brother of albus but tbh I twisted and turned it around (bc i also knew that “dumbledore” was the most likely option) and even after having heard it now I .......... still dont get how this can be (but nobody does apparently) and idkkk it feels kinda weird ?? bc well even tho you maybe havent occupied yourself with the dumbledore family 2 much (even tho you have probably dont get me wrong but if you are not a hardcore stan maybe you have only to an extent) but I kinda spend my time thinking about the dumbledores PASSIVELY SO MUCH. I probably would not do it that often on my own but I do consume it passively bc of my friend a lot and tbh i already have a clear picture of the family now and there being another one seems so fake I have to get used to that first. Also that its not something completely new but a character you knew as credence for 2 years who i did like but never really paid 2 much attention to and not finding particulary interesting makes it worse. Now I feel like I should get to know him at leats now (like he is my long lost forgotten brother who returns home) but i cannot get to know him AT ALL bc i have no way to start. so i either have to ignore everything (i wont) or I will paint a clear picture of him ( I will) that is going to be destroyed whatsoever lets not try to cheer me up ahdjsdhs what a weird feeling I am having I was told I would have but it feels SooOOO ... yes weird ( i kinda wanna cry but I also wanna watch again and I wanna dance but I am also v tired (have been the whole day almost) and i just really wish I could talk to jkr now? like i would love to talk to her all the time but rn would be kinda good to just ask her if the next movie will end this confusing too bc i dont know if i can make it then) 

anyways, i could come up with more things i liked now actually than I disliked (its the little things)and my negative mood is probably rooted in this whole flood of information that gives me so many questions that are left unanswered and also that i missed a few lines sadly. I am happy to have the chance to watch it again and making up my mind soon.  

the best part of it all was flamel running tho bc tbh this has been me every year in the bundesjugendspiele (@german people we all know the pain)

[trulymadlysydney]

I’m responding to all your notes lmao bc I have no one irl to talk about this movie with!! Also, this is so long omg I’m so sorry 😂

- I never thought about this, but it makes total sense when I think about that small flash back

- Sameee hahah I was like ohh okay

- Great question….I would think so bc how else does he afford to live? But maybe everyone pays him as part of their expenses to be apart of the victory project

- Don’t get me started!!!! Harry with her thighs over his shoulders will be burnt in my brain for the rest of my life istg

- The sex scenes DO add a lot. You know he loves her more than anything. He got them into this bc he thought she was miserable at her job working long hours day in and day out. And he knew that she could live freely and happy in victory. He truly did do it FOR her bc he loves her

- Violet is the cutest but I wonder if she knows some stuff…bc she does seem constantly terrified

- I’m thinking they have weekends free and that’s when the party happened

- Bunny’s nose!!! I didn’t even think of that until now!!!

- I didn’t catch that flashback the first time but today I went 😯

- Ngl the whole thing with Margaret’s son does kind of confuse me…idk

- I noticed that trolley sign the first time and I was like hmmmm

- Blue thing in the sky?? What did I miss??

- The hallway photos!! I love!! They may be a mix of before and after. I noticed at least one looked like he had a mustache

- I need more info on the victory project STAT !!

- I didn’t notice the rings, but I did notice her rubbing her eyes and I didn’t catch that the first time

- No listen!! The whole British thing confused me at first! I was like why is he and Shelley the only ones out in Palm Springs?? And then the end made it all make sense

- The doctor makes me so uneasy. I know he built victory with frank but HOW did he get into this??

- I bet frank is telling him about Alice going to HQ

- Honestly Shelley (Gemma) was amazing in this role

- Dita 😂 honestly watching Harry watch her was so hot

- I feel like he got promoted just bc of Alice and he’s the main girls husband. Just to add drama. I guess we’ll never really know if he did something

- He’s soooo being controlled!! The way frank is acting and the things he’s saying. I didn’t notice this the first time either. But today I was like oh shit. How is this happening??

- I’ve been wondering what that coffee pour could mean…

- Either franks has eyes and ears everywhere. Or he and bunny were in Kahoots. Which would make sense. He keeps her and her children safe and she gives him intel from the women

- GOOD GIRL I DIED!!! I was thinking the same thing about the carrot. Like this is familiar

- Wait how did I not catch frank saying that at the table??

- The flashbacks and how they are so quickly put in are so good and it’s like you blink and you miss them

- Ohh I didn’t think of that…I was just thinking bc it was so common to drink. But that makes so much more sense

- Also a good question lol

- Omg I’ve never seen this tik tok girl but violet is so sweet and must be protected at all costs!!!

- STOP IT RIGHT FUCKING NOW. I AM ACTUALLY DECEASED. I NEVER THOUGHT OF THAT!!! AKAKDBNENW

- This is the part that’s so fucking weird to me!! They don’t even know each other!!!! But are best friends in the simulation

- I didn’t see that interview but I caught that today and was wondering why

- This whole part kind of went over my head the first time. But today it all made sense to me. And I actually do really feel for him. He was in such a bad place. He just wanted Alice to have a good life. While he still had to live that shitty life from like 9-5 every day. He really does love her….

- Violets husband (Ben??) is very …. idek the word lmao kinda like jumpy or like puppy-esque

- The end of this movie has me at the edge of my seat!!! Even the second time and I know what happens lmao I wonder if the explosions fuck up the guys at home simulators

- Yeah the men and nurses are interesting. How did they get there?? And I noticed today the janitors at Alice’s hospital were wearing the red!!

- So I go back and forth. Part of me thinks she did actually kill him. And him “coming back” right at the end asking her to stay with him. But then she doesn’t and it shows clips of her dancing alone irl. That makes me think she got out and is living her normal life again ALONE. But also, if he did die irl, how did she get out of the bed where she was chained and connected?? Idk…

OMG I love you for responding to all of my notes dlkjafl;ksj I'm not gonna reply to every single one of these but I'll touch on a few of them.

I've noticed the blue circle in the sky every time I've watched it BUT last night I came to the conclusion that it may just be the sun dlfakjsdl;fj idk yet

Frank is for sure controlling Jack's dancing and I hate it lkd;fasd

I do think Bunny and Frank are... not working together necessarily but I think they have a mutual understanding.

I also go back and forth about her killing him. I just don't know. The clips of her dancing irl are shown throughout the movie (kind of blink-and-you-miss-it) but Jack is dancing with her. So at the very end, those dancing clips are also flashbacks. BUT YEAH, I do wonder how tf she got out of the bed in the real world daklf;skj