#sorry like one of the most common human tendencies tbh

[ilynpilled]

i love characters that are hypocrites. i love hypocrisy being explored. i love it when they hate nothing more than things they themselves are guilty of and close their eyes towards and look at without seeing. i love characters who loathe themselves

[femmefatalevibe]

hi.

tw: abuse.

don’t hesitate to delete this. i understand the sensitivity of the topic.

so,

i’m still a minor and i’m sorry i didn’t know where i could get advice from. my dad and i had a fight because i jokingly told him he should quit smoking (i could remember telling him this statement since i was five but he never did) because he’s old and we are having financial difficulties. we can’t afford risking his health and his destructive habits won’t help. he got mad and thought i’m being a b*tch just because he didn’t gave my full allowance that week but he can buy a pack for his cigs (which is tbh partly the case of my frustration but most of all, piled up resentment why our family struggle because he coped through gambling and smoking but most of all was the fact that he keeps me in a situation of why must loving him had to be this hard)

now, in an asian household culture, they really held respect in eldest highest regard even if they don’t make any sense anymore (to me at the very least). it didn’t get better that i’ve always been strong-headed with my opinions, i will argue my point to bits to my parents as attempts to be the adults i needed them to be and they didn’t like my approach because i have the tendency to be blunt, i present the faults as instincts in hopes to figure the solution. they didn’t like that very much, maybe because of my unfiltered delivery as well. as a result, i’ve been told i’m too arrogant and a know-it-all, selfish and uncaring. i’m afraid that what if they are right? i value fairness and i believe respect should go both ways. he wanted to raise his hand and i dared him to hit me like he used to. all just to prove him that my outburst was beyond materialistic stuff such as my allowance he could barely provide. he couldn’t but he was screaming at my face, telling me to talk. telling me how ungrateful i was, telling me to speak up and i said no. i begged that we do it once he calm down. and i can’t do this any longer. i was drained. but he was shouting and telling me to speak up. even my mom back him up and how did I become so heartless.

i love my dad. he loves us in ways he knew best. i wanted to apologize but i don’t know what i should apologise for, not at least in the way he would like to. because i don’t think i’m wrong. i want to apologise, perhaps because i could have approach it better, i’ve tried. but should i even apologise? i would leave this house if i could. basically, how can i resolve the conflict if he thinks i’m attacking him? how can i say sorry when i don’t think i’m wrong. he won’t even apologise for what he did to me. i’m their daughter, not just their daughter. i’m a human first, and their kid second.

Hi love! I'm so incredibly sorry that you have to deal with this!! Please know that you deserve better and are dealing with people who do not have the capacity to support you in the ways you deserve.

"i’m their daughter, not just their daughter. i’m a human first, and their kid second." NEVER forget this!! You're absolutely correct.

I'm not a therapist by any means but have dealt with similar dynamics, so I'm linking a few resources below and a direct link to a great book on the topic, Adult Children of Emotionally Immature Parents:

Hope some of this resonates and that you can leave this unhealthy environment soon, surround yourself with loving individuals, and get a therapist to help you build the fulfilling life you deserve.

Sending love xx

[brydeswhale]

My Giant Anti-Jonsa Hate Post, AKA why a person might not ship Jonsa other than hating Sansa :P

I'm warning you ahead of time, this is mostly me rambling. I'm not smart. Lots of smart people you can read, go read them.

So, I've noticed this tendency amongst some Jonsa shippers to sort of dismiss any criticism as Sansa-hate. Sometimes they are actually correct, some people only read ASOIAF in order to see Jon as a typical hero and any female character as simply the reward Jon gets for being a hero, which is so weird. There is a similar feeling that the biggest reward a female character can get is Jon's dick, so, um, yeah.

Having said that, I have a lot of reasons not to ship Sansa with Jon outside of how my ego feeds into my reading. I have read pics with them as the pairing, tbh, if you're a Sansa fan you kind of get pulled into it just because it's so hard to find ANY fics where Sansa gets treated decently that I just treat Jon in those fics as an original character.

I will now list my non-jonsa feels, in no particular order.

I do not believe the text supports it.

A lot of smart people have dug through the text and pointed to what they believe are clues. I'm not going to go through all of these because some of them are, IMO, a reach so far that the proponents have hired a gibbon to do the reaching.

One of those that kind of makes me super perplexed is the whole Jonnel/Sansa thing. Shippers will point to that as some kind of sign that their ship will sail, but honestly, I do not think so. Or at least, I hope it's not a portent of Jonsa.

Jonnel Stark and his plot line with the original Sansa seem to have more in common with the modern story of Alys Karstark and her flight from her uncle and cousin, who attempted to usurp her claim to Karhold by forcibly marrying her.

That is to say, it's a dark, sad story, made all the worse by the fact that Sansa eventually died, and she and Jonnel never had issue. In fact, Jonnel didn't have kids with his second wife, either. Possibly divine punishment for usurping and marrying his niece, IMO.

Most of the other "Jonsa" foreshadowing, I'm sorry to say, seems similar to that, basically. Either it's a sort of retelling of a completely different event happening in the present, or it's a sort of a weird, long reach. Like the idea that the comet is meant to foreshadow Jonsa, which is, honestly, so weird it's laughable, or pointing to times that Jon has complimented Sansa's looks. Some people even try to fit the Bael the Bard story to Jonsa.

It doesn't seem to fit with the how the text treats incest, in my opinion.

Much is made of the show's revelation that Jon and Sansa, despite being raised as and considering each other siblings, are biologically cousins, what with the revelation that Rhaegar kidnapped a teenaged Lyanna Stark and murdered her through reproductive abuse. For a lot of people this makes the incestuous aspect of the text "not count"(which is annoying for other reasons I will discuss later).

I just don't think "they're actually cousins" really works here, either, though.

GRRM sort of seems to use incest as kind of a shorthand for corruption. The Targaryens are the main example, their inbreeding a symbol of their incapacity as humans, and Craster is a giant screaming red flag but there are other incestuous marriages that seem to operate as symbols for the people involved, most notably the elder Lannister and Stark marriages.

The marriage of Tywin Lannister is an interesting sort of backdrop for the Lannister family as a whole. Joanna is often regarded, in both fandom and the series itself, as a sort of softening influence, a better version of Cersei, the true queen of Casterly Rocks, whose relationship with Tywin was very normal and healthy.

However, when examining Tywin Lannister's serious case of narcissism, I find it very unlikely that he would be capable of anything resembling normal in a marriage. It seems likely to me that his love of Joanna was more likely based on the same thing Cersei and Jaime's relationship was based on, AKA a damaged, narcissistic monstrosity. The marriage, IMO, was based on the fact that Tywin was attempting to emulate the elitist principles of the Targaryens. Only a Lannister could match a Lannister, in other words.

Then we examine the children of this incestuous union. I don't think its a coincidence that Cersei, Jaime, and Tyrion are as fucked up as they are. The example they have of a relationship is fucked up and incestuous, so it wasn't surprising that the twins emulated it. And Tyrion being Tyrion is also not shocking. Joanna may have demanded a place for him, but how much of that was motivated by love, and how much by a similar narcissism to Tywin and Cersei's, the idea of the child as the extension of the self.

But, @brydeswhale , I hear you say, because I have audio processing disorder, what about the Starks?

Well, tbh, I'm pretty sure the Lyarra/Rickard thing being incestuous was an afterthought, another way to mirror the Lannisters, but I do not think they're intended to be an example of incest done right. Rickard had some pretty weird obsessions of his own, if certain people are to be believed, and Lyarra is a near non-entity.

And while their kids seem to be, well, less fucked up than the Lannisters, it's still worth noting that two of the four are dead, of the two survivors, one dedicated himself to ensuring his family's full isolation from the rest of the country and the other joined a penal colony full of slave soldiers dedicated to what amounts to a border patrol that, whatever its origins, seems intent on enforcing an economic and cultural barrier to a random set of ethnic groups beyond the Wall, so good job there.

And even when Brandon and Lyanna were alive, well, no fault to Lyanna, she seems like a good kid, but Brandon was apparently an antagonistic dick and, well, he doesn't seem to have been very respectful of women.

Incest almost seems like a code in GRRM for "something is very wrong here and it won't end well, even for the innocents" and I just don't see him choosing to go against that.

As an incest survivor, the lightness with which the Jonsa fandom treats that aspect of it is messed up.

I don't tend to talk too much about my past as a CSA survivor, but yeah, there is it is. It kind of weirds me out, DOESN'T trigger me, just weirds me out, how casually the ASOIAF fandom treats incest bc, um, yeah, its not really casual. I feel like GRRM treats it with a great deal of gravitas, but fandom kind of skips over it, which is weird.

The "Real" siblings stance is obnoxious

There exists, within fandom, a tendency to devalue families outside the biological family.

It's not specific to ASOIAF, don't get me wrong. It's the same thing that had people giggling over Thor's defensive "he's adopted" or talking about which Robin is "the real son". It also lends itself to pairing in those fandoms based on those same ideas. It's not incest, after all, if they're not really related?

This might seem like small potatoes to some people, but the problem with this is that it's also a problem outside fandom, and it's something I've dealt with my entire life.

See, my family also isn't "real" according to this rule.

I have foster siblings, step siblings, half siblings, so on and so forth. I have siblings I'm almost completely alienated from, siblings I love more than life itself, and siblings who are ex-siblings, pining for the fjords, kicked the bucket, bought the farm, blah, blah, blah.

So to hear people talk about how Jon and Sansa aren't real siblings because of the complexity of how their relationship came to be, how close they are, whether or not the moon was full when they met, is actually kind of hurtful.

It tells me something about the people using this trope and what they subconsciously think of my family. How "real" we are to them, and how much we matter. It kind of makes me think we don't really matter, that because we don't share DNA, we don't count.

Also:

Jon is one of my least favourite characters and Sansa can do better.

To Be VERY VERY clear:

I'm not saying don't ship them, don't read it, etc, etc. If you want to, it's up to you. Like I said, I read it sometimes, just because it's so ubiquitous. I have plenty of pairings that other people might hate, or think are immoral, etc. These are just my feelings, tbh.

I just think dismissing all criticism or even plain distaste for this ship down to not liking one character or another, or whatever, is kind of messed up. There are lots of valid reasons not to like a ship, and it's worth considering all of them.

[cameraflowers]

My personal favorite Non Human Headcanons for Hermitcraft Members and my reasons Why

bdouble0100 - Glare hybrid

Mossy boi

Hates caving

Best sleep schedule on the server

Cubfan135 - Vex Hybrid

ConVex

Genuinely that’s the main reason

Also the way he laughs when pulling of chaos? Perfection

DocM77 - Creeper centaur/Ram hybrid (+Cyborg)

I mean this one is just basically canon

I also just like the idea of keeping Creeper’s 4 legs

Hermits ride on his back constantly because they love him and he stronk

EthoSlab - Human a bit to the left

Is he human? Is he a cryptid? No one on the server really knows

He has a tendency to just appear

Maybe he just really is a Kakashi kinnie tho

FalseSymmetry - eagle avian

I’m a big fan of wings

And we’ve had Eagle themes two seasons now

GeminiTay - Reindeer hybrid

Antlers YesYes

GoodTimesWithScar - Vex Hybrid

ConVex pt 2 the electric boogaloo

Tbh I followed Vex!Scar before Vex!Cub

But they’re such a duo

Love it sm

Grian - Parrot avian/Watcher

I mean…Duh

IJevin - Slime hybrid

This one is also just technically canon

Just one wacky slimy dude

Joe Hills - just a dude a bit to the right

No one can confirm anything

But it’s just off enough where people think so

Somehow he’s gotten those outside of the server to think he’s the most normal

But everyone on the server knows that’s a lie

He’s just as chaotic as the rest of them, just goes about it a little different

Grian never will forget the Lava logged base of s6

Keralis - Eldritch Void Being

I just think it’s funny

I’ve seen it around a few times and I love it

He just looks like a little fella but in reality Papa K could absolutely rip apart any threat to his family

Mumbo Jumbo - Human a bit to the left

S6-8

I can’t bring myself to say full shape shifter because he’s got no control over it

But mans can have his mustache removed then smack his face against it and have it reattached.

He literally sold off his appearance in s7 because he needed diamonds

S8 tempts me to add in half Watcher bc Grian Soul Consumption, but truly only on occasion

Pearlescentmoon - Lunar Moth hybrid/Watcher

Moth!Pearl my beloved

Also me slapping Watcher/Listener lore on Evo members? Yes

Rendog - wolf hybrid/werewolf

He do be the diggity dog

Previously existing Wolf genes mixed with gained lycanthropy

Fantastic to the mind

Stressmonster101 - fae

She may or may not steal her friends names

But she certainly does pester her friends /affectionate

She feels like the type of person to steal things and only give them back after cute shiny gifts tbh

TangoTek - netherbased Dragon

I saw exactly one person write dragon!Tango and it’s been my brain rot ever since

Sure the nether doesn’t actually have fire dragons

But I love it

TinFoilChef - Herobrine

Literally just the man the myth the legend himself

The idea of this well known Minecraft cryptid joining the Hermits, liking them and sticking around is very endearing to me

Years of haunting servers and players being terrified when he popped up

To finding a group that adore seeing him when he emerges from his strip mines

XisumaVoid - Void Walker

Now this is a common one and I love it

Especially with the tag along of Void Eldritch Keralis

Xisuma the voidwalker admin who could survive the void if he chose to, but often doesn’t to keep an even playing field with his players

Love it

Zedaph - sheep hybrid

I’ve seen the fan arts

I love the fan arts

I’m a DSMP main at heart, give me Ram/sheep hybrids and I eat that up every time

ZombieCleo - Zombie

Also just canon

Sentient Zombie teacher who can scold grown men into actually sounding sorry? Chefs kiss

To any Hermits not on the list, I either straight up view them as “Just a dude” or I don’t know them well enough for the brain to assign them a hybrid/being. I was going down a real list of Hermit members so I promise they weren’t just forgotten 😂

Absolutely no one asked for this post but I provide it anyways because I was thinking about it, and also Lowkey wanted to write it out so I could remember it too lmao

[djemsostylist]

Djem's Legion Thoughts

About three years ago my brother joking suggested I read the Horus Heresy, knowing literally nothing about Warhammer. (Literally nothing. I just thought Space Marines were big dudes in armor and I had never heard of Primarchs and I still know nothing of 40k. Have no idea how the Heresy ends--I'm spoiler free babes.) Anyway, what follows are my feelings on each Legion at the following times:

As of midway through Fulgrim

At the end of First Heretic

At the start of the Master of Mankind

Halfway through the Siege

This is very long. I'm not sorry.

Dark Angels

idk I haven’t met them yet, but their name tells me they are either going to be amazing or fucking awful

Um I still dk

God I fucking love these stupid idiots. Like, they are stupid, for sure, but I dunno, I dig their bizarre sort of pseudosecrecy thing. Plus, aesthetically I’m all about weird monk orders. Also, nothing kills me quite like Farith Redloss having anxiety attacks over trying to figure out Lion.

Corswain showing up like the living embodiment of the dude with the pizza where the apartment is on fire is just so deeply on brand for these chucklefucks like, Lion is all “I’m deeply uncomfortable where Imperial Secundus is concerned so instead I’ll just go ahead and attack home planets because that will demoralize the traitors and then I’m Doing My Part” like fam, pretty much all the traitors sans Perturabo are actual literal demons rn and they all had zero qualms betraying their immediate brothers and also the emperor (and Perturabo already fucked over his own) why in the livid fuck would you think this is in any way helpful, but this is Classic Lion and I love him now on account of that one time when he hugged Roboute because he was proud of him and also because he calls all of his sons “Little Brother” bc he is afraid of being a dad and also because I too am deeply avoidant of issues I don’t want to deal with.

Emperor's Children

mostly wonderful, because they are fabulous and also extremely extra, but they have the most ginourmous fuckwad as a Lord Commander, BUT they have a very good boy as another one, so idk really. Plus the whole betrayal thing and the fucking lodges, but they are purple and fabulous, so, +1?

These are the saddest boys ever in the whole world, and they didn’t deserve what happened to them. I loved them all except for Eidolon and they didn’t deserve anything bad to happen to them ever bc they were precious and I loved them. Also Fabius because he was bugnuts and he hurt my boys.

Jesus, I’m so fucking over them all

Honestly I’m so tired

Iron Warriors

I totally confused them with the Iron Hands. Idk even, boring? But Perturabo (while he has a fucking terrible name) also hates Horus so +15

I still know nothing about them, but I think they are buttholes because of the whole Isstvan V thing. Dick move guys, dick move.

I literally can’t. Like, their entire shtick is besieging and being besieged, and then being pissy bc it is what they are good at???? Like, they are literally traitoring bc their dad got a hair up his ass bc he wasn’t a good independent thinker and didn’t think he was allowed to build castles or whatever? Idk they are exhausting except for the ones that aren’t

I still don’t really get them at all except like 99% of them who aren’t named Barabas Dantioch are asshats and are not independent thinkers who are literally still traitoring for reasons unknown except to stick it to the emperor like?? Get an actual culture??? Just literally stop???

White Scars

I dunno, haven’t met them, but since no one else talks about them, I’m gonna guess, boring?

I dunno but they are worried about them hooking up with the Rout so I guess they are cool?

Oh bless your tiny little souls. They are so sweet, and so, so dumb. But sweet.

They are very, very good boys. They don’t have a ton of range per say but their simplicity is sort of the point I think. They are what space marines are supposed to be, and I love them for that

Space Wolves

ehm, oh, I’m sorry, The Rout. Whateverthefuck, they’re boring, over-the-top fuckheads who are giant fucking hypocrites who suck and probably don’t ever shower. Honestly, they rival the Emperor’s Children in extraness, and not in the loveable way. Fucking awful, 0/10.

Okay, honestly, not as awful as some. I mean, hella extra and I hate what they did at Prospero, but in a world full of awful things, we gotta pick and choose.

They are just so, so...Space Wolfy. Bless them they try, and some of them legit crack me up. I’m just not about their aesthetic, you know?

Much like the other fuckups amongst the Loyalists, they are a blunt instrument used for a specific purpose and do better with like...direct instruction. I’m saying they are not the kind to do well with metaphor and also a lack of like, a dad. They need TE:BBA is what I’m saying.

Imperial Fists

Literally only met them briefly, but they seem a good sort. I like their Primarch? -3 tho cause damn that color scheme.

Still good boys.

Omg I love you all, you precious little bbs. They are just so calm and stoic and honestly even though yellow is a hideous color they are literally like Templars and that is fantastic?????

Listen, the amount of love that I have in my heart for these precious, perfect boys is rivaled only by my love for Rogal Dorn, who might possibly be, and I don’t wanna sound dramatic here, be the love of my life but anyway.

Night Lords

idk but their name sounds sick.

Right, these guys are also dicks. I hate them on principle.

Every time I think of them all I can think of is that one video of the goths dancing under the bridge. They are so. Fucking. Extra. Christ alive, get a hobby that isn’t fucking skinning people.

Yeah idk they still mostly suck and to be perfectly honest I’m still not entirely sure what their point was, even pre-heresy? Like what role did psychopaths play in TE:BBA’s plan for a glorious human empire, someone explain

Blood Angels

I dunno cause I’ve only ever met their First Captain (who was consorting with fuckheads) but Sanguinius is literally Top Tier Fabulous, like Prince Extra, so I hope they don’t let me down

I’m still holding out hope. Don’t let me down boys.

OH. MY. GOD. Honestly, kill me, I love them so, so, so, so, so much, it’s a lot. And I suspect something terrible will happen with them but I don’t care because they are perfect. All of them. Wonderful, perfect, lovely, caring boys who love their dad and I love them. Sweet, loving, precious little bbs who occasionally suffer from tragic vampiric tendencies but I don’t love them any less. They better stay perfect forever. If I could, I would be like Sangy and just take them all everywhere with me so that they could always be safe <3 On a less gushy note, I think one of the most important aspects of the Blood Angels (and of their primarch) is that while they acknowledge their differences from unmodified humans, they also love humanity, deeply. They see them as worth fighting for and protecting, and acknowledge that their abilities allow them to create a universe that is safe for the common man to live in. There is a sort of profound love and tenderness that they have for humanity, and I think it really does make a difference in their legion. (That scene is Master of Mankind with the Blood Angel and the Custodian really highlights what I’m saying here.)

Listen, this may sound dramatic, and I don’t wanna like, go over the top, but I would literally die for them, which would seem counterproductive since that is what they do for humanity but the amount of love of I have for this entire legion and one Angel is too big to contain in my heart okay

Iron Hands

I don’t know them well yet, but they seem like good boys overall. I’m sure one of them is bound to be a crazy fucker tho.

They are good boys. I don’t know them very well, but my favorite moment is when Ferrus had to thank Lorgar for his help so he made him a crozius and then threw it at him because he didn’t want to have to talk awkwardly.

Poor sad bbs

No, but really, poor sad bbs

World Eaters

literally terrible people, but I guess when your Dad is bugnuts….

Definitely should have been put down. As in to death. They should have been killed. Probably.

Still fucking crazy. But I love Kharn, and honestly Lotara (who I know isn’t technically a World Eater but close enough.)

No but they probably should have all been just euthanized? I mean not Kharn bc I love him but also like--they are not viable. Long term? Tbh still not entirely sure what TE:BBA’s plan was here with them and Angron (I’m gonna assume something along the lines of ignore it and hope it goes away, since that is mostly his plan for everything)

Ultramarines

probably enormous squares, but tbh in a galaxy with World Eaters and the Rout, we could do with some squares.

Honestly, I have no issues with them. They do their duty, they are loyal. I hope to love them though. They actually believe in colors.

HOLY FUCK DO I LOVE THEM. ALL 200,000 OF THEM. (Which is probably what Roboute thinks tbh.) Like, I literally haven’t met a single one that I don’t adore and love with my whole soul and entire being. They are precious, soft, beautiful bbs who I adore with my whole heart. And who will make great leaders of the world someday I’m so proud. On a less gushy note, much like the Blood Angels, the Ultramarines really have a sort of profound feeling of protection and duty towards humans. They may not always like dealing with them, but Roboute is of the firm belief that they must understand what they are truly fighting for. Saving humanity is not enough, you have to fight for the humans who live there. (See, the one short story where they find a baby and I died.)

No but what you don’t quite get is that I literally love them. Every single individual solitary one of them, and while some may say “But Djem such a thing is impossible you haven’t met every Ultramarine” I need you to understand that the depth of my love for them and their Primarch is such that I know, in my bones, that I don’t need to meet them all to love them okay bc I already do.

Death Guard

Okay, so honestly I wanted to hate them (because BETRAYAL) but tbh its only the First and Second Captains who suck a lot and idk really the rest are sort of tragically precious??

Seriously, what is Mortarion’s issue?

No, seriously, what the fuck is their problem? Get the fuck over it.

Okay, I do feel bad. For Mortarian. Of all the traitors, him I understand the most. However, that being said, while I can understand his issues, I feel like giving yourself over to demons, turning into actual demons, and also turning on and killing your brothers who refused to become said demons makes you terrible awful people who really need to like, die.

Thousand Sons

okay, I fucking love these lame Warrior Monk Priest Wizards who live in a literal glass city with restaurants and teach random people Tai Chi in the park or whatever. Overall 10/10

I am v. worried that they are going to do something dumb like join the rebellion in order to affect change from the inside and then like, adopt demons or something. Pls don’t be dumb boys.

I don’t even fucking--look, I’m just tired okay?

What the fuck Azhek. No seriously, ⅞ is good enough? What the fuck is wrong with you?

Sons of Horus? Luna Wolves? who the fuck knows

my precious sons. You did not deserve what was done to you. This is why we don’t do frats. I believed in you and you failed me. D:

I love my precious sons. The Sons of Horus however, can go die.

I just--why are you the way you are?

I think the best thing about these absolute morons is that half the legion isn’t even demon fuckers, they just woke up one day and Horus told them to kill their brothers and they went “sure okay” and then just did. They are so fucking pretentious and stupid, fucking speartip, honestly die. I take it back. You all deserved exactly what you got, you dumb fucks.

Word Bearers

look, I haven’t met the rest of these dudes yet, but Erebus is a terrible fucking ambassador. -60/10 for not controlling their boy

HOLY LORD. I cannot--there are not actually words to describe how much I loathe these ignorant dumbasses. Like, seriously. Honestly, the ones who were purged were probably lucky, because the rest of them fucking suck.

God, eat a fucking landmine. Except, that would probably turn them on or something. Fucking assholes.

Just--imagine being such a fuckup that even when you were the first to the “become a demon, save the world” thing you still somehow ended up last. I hope the Ultramarines put down every. Single. One.

Salamanders

idk but this name is dumb. Salamanders are cute and slimy, and while Astartes are fucking adorable, they are not slimy. -1 for the dumb name

They are loyal, which is cool, and they seem like chill bros.

I just, like, they are sweet, but good lord are they simple.

I’m not sure? What they are doing? With their lives? Guys, idk if anyone told you but like, um. There is a war. And I get they’ve had it rough but also the loyalists could use their hope so maybe, idk. Do something? I mean I know there are like, 50 of you left and also you think your dad is dad and I feel you but like-

Raven Guard

idk but I like Ravens and Black, plus their Primarch’s name is Corvus? 11/10 they better not suck.

OMG I love Corvus?? Flies with a giant jetpack and tried to gut Lorgar? Yeah, he’s wonderful. Plus, their Captain seemed cool before he was fucking murdered.

I love them all, bless. They are sweet and simple and kind of stupid, but they make me feel things in my heart, so like, idk, stay precious.

Look, I cried over Branne fucking Nev, I don’t wanna talk about it rn

Alpha Legion

seriously? Lame.

Fuck these guys. What is their deal?

I can’t even really. I really, truly can’t. Nothing has ever satisfied me the way I was satisfied when Alpharius literally lost his head. God, that was beautiful.

Or Omegon? It was actually Omegon? I don’t even know anymore man

[vowled]

The Ever Lasting curiosity about Sherlock’s sexuality

Honestly, I’m tired. I see so much material everywhere about ships and about what’s canon and what isn’t. I see people fighting about whether Sherlock is top or bottom (where an overwhelming majority thinks he’s a top). But somehow I never see enough material about his Other sides. His other habits like scrapbooking. Why is he Possibly eccentric and ....to an extent ...is he really so eccentric at all?

Firstly, I see it constantly reiterated by Moffat that Sherlock’s decision to not be very sexually active is a Monk’s decision, not an asexual’s one. He isn’t interested in sex because it distracts him, and that means he’s not very produtive, and by this point we know that work is worship for Sherlock.

Now, the question arises, how do we know that he isn’t asexual?

we don’t

Next comes the Johnlock theory and I am not going to lie, I like it . I really do. Some of the arguments I’ve read during my tenure in the fandom are very influencing and impressive and they genuinely make you think. But the truth remains that it isn’t canon (yet).

And if you’re a BBC Sherlock fan then the entire Irene Adler thing is also very frustrating. Being brought up in a homophobic country, the first time I watched the episode, I remember being sure that she was sherlock’s love interest. This was also compounded in my head as the truth because of Robert D.J’s movie, where Irene is explicitly shown as the love interest too. BBC too called her THE WOMAN, and Mycroft later says “She’s the only woman who matters”. And yet, we never see any explicit proof that Sherlock indeed has feelings towards her. What am I supposed to think then???

The more I think about it, the more maddening it gets. Especially with the subtext. I do think that now I can openly admit that the entire show has a lot of gay subtext (feel free to give your opinion about it) and that really is the jewel of any literature. But what do I make of it all?

An anecdote here: I am an 18yo girl who has read too much of gay fanfiction and conspiracies to never question my own sexuality. I thought I’ve had crushes on my girl friends and thought I wouldn’t mind dating one, but oh boy I didn’t like it at all (Well, now I know I’m straight :/ )

The one insight I’ve gained from here is that sometimes it’s tiring to figure out feelings. It’s ever capricious, obscure and frustrating. Think that from Sherlock’s POV and he literally is obsessed with his work to the point he doesn’t eat because it slows him down. He’s a brain with a body. He makes all of his deductions based on rectilinear principles that rule out the possibility of ambiguity and are necessarily singular in their nature. But feelings are the exact opposite of it - any emotion felt can have multiple causes and hence lead to multiple reactions, and the entire chemical nature of it is broad and overrun by multiple definitions. Even when people do feel certain things clearly, they seldom do express them truly. Modern life has made us to be afraid of intimacy and complete truth without diluting it with small lies. Even when people say that they feel a certain way explicitly, we can never tell if they’re speaking the entire thing truly. How could he possibly compute feelings?

Sherlock is a thinking, feeling being. But because thinking and comprehending is his greater joy, because he is obsessed with being intellectually superior to others, he doesn’t like anything he can’t understand, which itself is a common tendency and shows us that he’s only human. He doesn’t like the entire affair about sex not because he’s asexual, but because he doesn’t like the confusion and the lack of complete understanding of it. But this should never be interpreted as though he doesn’t have any feelings.

We do see in many occasions that Sherlock in fact is capable of showing empathy and does in fact try to comfort people. This very character trait of empathy shows that he isn’t in fact a sociopath. In case of Irene Adler(although the canon material clearly states that she was very devoted to her husband and didn’t have a romantic relationship with Sherlock), Sherlock doesn’t reciprocate her feelings. She repeatedly asks him for dinner and texts him, he denies each time. This tells us he isn’t interested in her. Although, in the end, he helps her. He didn’t need to though, but he does because HE DOES CARE. Caring doesn’t need a definitive cause based on romantic feelings. IT ITSELF IS A FEELING.

With Moriarty, there’s this undeniable tension. Both men are obsessed with each other because they know that they are equals. And we must ask :is  this level of understanding any different to intimacy?

And there’s John. Sweet John who is completely devoted to Sherlock. Even in canon it’s pretty clear that the only times he truly is completely caring is when it comes to John. And tbh I don’t want to trip down that rabbit hole right now.

Sherlock does love people, and he’s too intellectual to find out exactly in which way or form does he love them. He simply does. And that makes him the “most humane human being”. He doesn’t love anybody in a sexual way, but why should it mean he doesn’t love anybody? His sexuality is boring. His own forms of love, however are the most beautiful to look at. Can we talk about that?

also if you’ve made it thus far, thank you for reading ! this is my first ever blog and tbh it’s such a rant?! im sorry :( ? i was really going for something and i kept getting disturbed and I lost my train of thought in the process :((( but please fell to comment, consrtuctive criticism is always welcome!

[soulvomit]

There is some media zeitgeist stuff that irritates me. Maybe I'm atan age where a lot of stuff for the mainstream is just no longer written with me in mind (but I could argue that as a Gen Xr, non-indie work has seldom to never been written with me in mind, anyway.) I saw my own parents reach a point where we didn't like or relate to the same media anymore. But here are some trends I'm observing about a lot of media, that I just *don't enjoy.* 1) Everyone having some kind of deep-seated identity crisis and having to go on a deep dive into their psyche in the first season.  It's like we don't relate to characters anymore who don't need epic shit tons of therapy right off the bat, who aren’t falling apart in front of us. I'll use Star Trek as an example because it's an example of how identity issues were written before, vs how they're written now. Like, older Trek for example *definitely* explored issues of identity - but it showed more than told. We definitely knew, in older Trek, that certain characters were themed around identity - Spock, Worf, Data, every "fish out of water" character EVER - and that identity was portrayed as something that a character would have to explore for the rest of their lives. For that matter, identity quests and "who am I" are actually a fairly common theme in sci fi and fantasy and have been for all of my life. But now they're done in weird, ham-handed ways involving a lot of totally interiorized hand-wringing that's more believable of the young Tumblr users who are in fandom, than of 20something/30something action characters who have careers and adult lives. It's like a lot of people can't relate to characters that aren't as inwardly-focused and insecure as they are. And it makes a lot of works written this way, inaccessible to me as an older viewer. There's giving a character *inwardness*... but that can be done without burying a character's head really far up their own butt. (And some characters deal with their identity crises by focusing *outward.* I feel like "focus OUTWARD" may be a generational identity issue though. I feel like I was taught to find the answers to practically every identity quest I've ever had... by Finding The Others, by having life experiences and wins AND failures... not by trying to gaze into my navel and not by trying to find myself exclusively in fictional portrayals.) (I'm sorry I can't be more specific about this. It's just a trend I keep noticing.) 2) This tendency to assign every character a QUIRK, and then play those quirks into the ground. To me, that's just lazy. Something that annoyed me with the characterizations on Star Trek Discovery was how fucking ANNOYING so many human characters were; it's like they try so hard to make everyone an individual that it comes off like... a really bizarre kind of neurological tokenism. Like, there are ways you can portray human characters without leaning onto their most visible quirk or their neurodivergence. Characters are individuals with family lives, not collections of quirks and census data points, and even with actual differences, they’re still individuals.

3) Pro-monarchist messaging. Old Disney believe it or not was not as bad at this as post-2000s Disney is.  There were portrayals of tyranny and unjust rulership. 4) Writers and fans who are so convinced that they are progressive that you can't ever critique their fandom or their writing because it means you're attacking their progressiveness, and all other writing is automatically BAD, and anyone who dislikes their writing is BAD... yet they’re free to cancel at will and judge at will. They invariably are never as progressive as they think they are, and their writing won't be seen as progressive in 10 years, and a lot of the takes I've heard are actually horseshoe theory. In many cases it’s about making corporate monopolies bigger and more inescapable instead of ensuring a more robust and diverse ecosystem of creators.  5) Youth-targeted writing that deals with sexual orientation/gender issues by simply never having any central character in a romance at all... but that *could* be a reaction to "shipping," too. Maybe younger readers these days prefer to be free to pair their favorite characters off with who they see fit, rather than have the writer do it for them. But fuck!! Everything can't be a Choose Your Own Adventure novel or a game!   6) Every show or book has to be all things to all people in an increasingly throttled market instead of allowing for a diverse ecosystem of differing fan cultures. 7) Perfect Happy Families. Looking at you, Disney. I miss wicked stepparent tropes, tbh, because kids who experience child abuse or family dysfunction or a hard childhood deserve to see characters who overcome those things instead of being told they're imagining that all families aren't Perfect Happy Families. It's like we've gone deep into some Hayes Code, 1950s Network TV weirdness here... but without even being able to lean on the genres that *did* allow other kinds of portrayals (fantasy and sci fi). And it's especially egregious in Disney because in older Disney films, at least characters had the ability to enact change on their world in some way, but modern characters aren't. 8) Stories that basically take place inside a bottle. I feel like kids' works no longer tend to have the broad, sprawling landscape in which the kids can adventure. It's like our IMAGINATIONS are constrained! DREAM, PEOPLE. PEOPLE CAN STILL LEAVE THE HOUSE IN FICTION 9) WHAT CAME OF ADVENTURE STORIES? 10) A relatively recent trope of portraying young LGBTQ people as an urban pod of annoying, neurotic friends who all work at Whole Foods or as influencers, and have no other personality besides their identity and one assigned quirk. 11) A weird trope wherein a teenager is basically made king or queen (without it realistically being handled), or a 20something is just handed a senior command or managerial position. Sabrina, Star Trek,  I'm looking at both of you. And finally: It's like characters aren't believable anymore to average younger viewers unless they actually represent and validate the worldviews of young people who don't go outside, never leave their computer, and are trying to figure out who they are by looking through a keyhole or at the shadows on the Facebook wall of Plato's cave. The idea that your worldview is actually going to be *different* or that *you will be changed by knowledge?* That there is some kind of *call to adventure?* Pfeh. That seems to be gone. Even our adventure stories take place inside a bottle. It's like we're so deep inside the Matrix at this point that the only stories anyone can tell, are about being inside the Matrix. (Could "The Matrix" have even been written now?) Even "Harry Potter" portrayed a world in which magic had few stakes in the real world and most of the action took place within limited confines. 

[conelly]

( luke hemmings, twenty-two, cismale, he/him ) did you see BYRON CONELLY walking down main street earlier?  you know who i’m talking about, they’re a DECKHAND.  everybody in town says that they’re SANGUINE & NONJUDGEMENTAL, but have a tendency to be IMPRESSIONABLE & VOLATILE too.  BYRON has been in town for ONE AND A BIT years. c'mon, they’re always requesting SWEET CAROLINE by NEIL DIAMOND at karaoke nights.  well, i’m sure you’ll see them soon! ( ooc: sunny, 22, she/her, est )

hi thanks for tuning in, SUNNY here to tell you all a lil bit about westmere’s very own new nd improved favorite loser below. sorry for this summary being all over the place, it’s kinda how my brain works heh which is kinda perfect bc byron will for SURE be all over the place too ( u can rly tell at a certain point i was like ok i give up + i’m posting mf ). let me know if u have any questions about ‘em and most importantly, lmk if you would like to plot a lil connect or sumn 😙

@westmerestarters​ 

FAMBAM + BACKGROUND

born 14 years after the elder conelly ( wanted brother connect !!! ) entered this word to two parents who didn’t seem to read the job description, it was clear that byron wasn’t planned. and down the line, he’d soon realize through the tumultuous household he was brought up in - perhaps never even wanted.

byron’s parents had one constant - and that was fighting. over anything, all the time. there just wasn’t any love between the two and they stayed together for whatever meaningless reasons until byron hit middle school. ( there might’ve been a super short lull in toxicity once byron was born, but it had to be short as his first memories are nothing shy of toxic. )  it was a messy separation ( they never paid the full legal fees for a full divorce ) - his father moving to the coast of nj & his mother moving to a smaller apartment nearby her own mother ( which, due to the negative relationship among his mother + grandmother, also called for more tension ). he’d often be dropped off @ his grandmother’s house for baby-sitting or when he was ‘ becoming too much to handle. ’ eventually his grandmother moved into his cousin’s house ( MONROE ) and although grateful he made a practically new brother, similar tendencies of feeling unwanted occurred when byron noticed their grandmother praising and coddling and favoriting monroe just a bit more.

( his mother was a struggling addict ( and had been her whole life ), but the loneliness, newfound pressures and whatever excuse she was able to name caused her drinking to spiral worse than byron remembered ( even at his young age ) before. )

( his father was rarely in his life, but when he was, he was THE coolest. always played good cop in any situation regarding his mother, despite choosing not to have an active role in byron’s life. byron looked up to him like no other. when he WAS around, he taught byron how to surf, skateboard, play sports, they’d play video games, they’d eat junk food - honestly anything that byron wanted to do. his dad was an adrenaline junkie and created the stepping stones for byron to be one too. he was a marine biologist & pretty successful at that. passionate,  intelligent, but seemingly finding his newfound life a lot better than his previous - which is why he never wanted byron to stay too long, the boy reminded him of her, of the past. )

( his older brother moved out of the house when byron was just a lil kid, they’re not very close and don’t have much in common ... or so it seems. he lives in nyc and they only talk here and there on holidays. he was never a huge part of his life, but it does bum him out to think what could’ve been / could be. )

TO GET THE GIST 

due to never receiving the attention he craved from his family members, he made up for it tenfold in school. he was always talking to everyone, loud, boisterous, gregarious, life of the party; he wanted people to like him and they did. he become a total people pleaser, molding himself to make sure everyone was content and stayed around. impressionable, adaptable. he felt less this way towards adults and had a bit of a rebellious phase, hanging with the wrong crowd & getting into things he probably wouldn’t do otherwise. old habits die hard and he still tries his best to make everyone crack a smile, to remember him - since he believes he won’t be remembered for much else.

after he just barely skated by in high school ( his grades were never as good as his cousin’s and never lived up to his father’s expectations ), byron felt a bit lost. a lot of people had plans, were heading off to college - but already under the assumption he couldn’t reach any expectation in that realm ( a lil self fulfilling prophecy am i right pals ), he stayed in town - caring for his mother who hardly had anything together, his uncle who got sick very quickly & passed, spending time with his grandmother, while he himself fell into a rut. most of his days meant he drove out towards his dad’s place ( dad hardly there now, out and about with his new family ), surfing, smoking, and grabbing some cash doing odd jobs any way he could. he lost any purpose he once had ( but yall would never know it bc who wants to be in someone’s life who’s a buzzkill ? all smiles, baby, all smiles. )

IN WESTMERE

when his cousin offered the opportunity to travel cross-country in his van, byron had nothing to lose. always adventurous in spirit, he immediately said yes - deciding to ignore that ‘obligation,’ that feeling to make sure they were a-ok that he felt towards his parents. he needed an out and this was it. 

after landing in the small connecticut town for the night, the two fell for it - especially since when they got there along the water, it was a summer night + everything landed into place. they decided to stay there a bit longer ... and that eventually turned into more than a year. still antsy to keep traveling and to move around, byron has been ready to head out ... but stays for a few reasons - and them all being people ( bc lbh the surf is not even on point here ok )

his current job is a deckhand ( on a bunch of boats, ppl prob hired him as word of mouth got around that he knew what he was doing ). prob got that knowledge from being by his dad’s on the water when younger ( he’s ... obsessed with the water ) ! and also he’s just a quick learner ok ( ps: if your charrie has a boat pls let’s make somethin happen )

TO KNOW [ headcanons + more ]

his fav karaoke song is sweet caroline bc he knows everyone will be able to sing nd party along. he does it for the ppl, ppl.

he never saw too many baby / kid pics of himself which was kind of a bummer bc he really only remembers negative times - somehow they overpowered ( i bet lil byron was cute as fuck too fml )

he’s super into drugs, hallucinogenics, honestly you name it. it started off w/ him being impressionable, then bored, and now he just enjoys it. despite his mother’s addiction running through his blood, he still continues to do his thang.  

longboards around town so watch your toes

uses 🤙🤙 all the time and not ironically 

has an existential crisis on the daily about purpose but keeps that to himself most times 

WANTED CONNECTIONS

someone pls give me a sugar mama idc how we plot it out they don’t have to hook up they can idk idc i just want someone giving him money or expensive things it can be so much fun ok ,, pool boy ? idk sign me up

pls if your muse has a boat, let him be the deckhand ok it will also be so fun and potentially angsty if he fucks something up

a fling 100% - even multiple ? idc listen he is currently sharing a tiny VAN with his COUSIN he needs a place - like an actual bed - to crash on at night

can he save someone who was potentially drowning pls??? he used to be a lifeguard, it can be a cool/fun thread to write out

omg off of that can he teach someone how to swim 

look if anyone is into marine bio, can they somehow know byron’s father ?? i feel like that could make room for a cool plot

also i have an older brother connect on the w/c’s page lmk lmk

give me a good influence that will somehow have him open up + tell him that it’s weird to be so sunshiny all the time. maybe someone who witnesses him at his worst + stays, ya know ??

a bad influence plot where y/c takes this impressionable young lad and puts him through the ringer tbh ( srrsly he’d do a lot for ppl, so ask him to do something illegal for them it’ll be fun )

party pals, smoking pals, on the water 24/7 pals, 

co-worker, other ppl that work on the water ( fishermen?? more deckhands?? captains??)

gimmie someone he accidentally bumped into while longboarding ( he’s a large human it might’ve done damage ok )

i want and need enemies ok i know he’s chill as fuck and wants everyone to like him but there’s always a way to find enemies >:o. anything angsty for REAL.

unrequited thing? where he led someone on?? i’m sure he does this constantly

don’t ruin the friendship thing omg plsssss always so fun

look i’m open for it ALL. every plot u have in mind so lay it on me

[alwaysraineh]

hey ho, i would have an OC-ask! Do any of them have siblings? What are their relationships like with them if they do? :)

oh goodness Jo I’m a little bit in love with you right now thank you so much for this ask!!!!

Truth be told, at least half my OCs have siblings, and I think it’s because I myself have a large family??? Anyhow instead of rambling about all of them, I’m gonna just choose a few and then I’ll put the rambling about those few under the cut!!! (In retrospect, this got real long, so… oops! Sorry to make you read so much, but I had an absolute blast with this!!! Thank you

Yve & Aury - Luke & Lissa - Jaq & Keelan - Dwight & Gemma

Yve & Aury

So these two are actually some of my most recent OCs!! (literally… less than a week old) They’re characters in a universe that I created for a trilogy I’m writing (except they’re in the sequel, not the trilogy) and they’re satyr twins! @catladymarie is hugely influential in their very existence, tbh

Yve and Aury are inseparable. They’re constantly squabbling with each other, so an absolute stranger may think they don’t get along, but if you spend more than five minutes with them, you’ll get the feeling that they have a special bond. And they do!! It’s the whole twin telepathy thing, except not quite. While both Yve and Aury studied magic, only Aury came into hers. She can send telepathic messages to Yve and he’ll hear them, but he can’t actively send messages to her the same way. It’s eternally frustrating for Yve that Aury has magic and he doesn’t, because he feels like it’s his responsibility to protect her (older twin complex?? probably) and he can’t without magic. They’re very close and would kill for each other, but they’re quintessential siblings in that they regularly give hollow threats of killing the other.

Luke & Lissa

The Smiths! They hold a very special place in my heart. Luke and Lissa (Lis in particular) are some of my oldest OCs! Like. They’re literally going on twelve years at this point. I made them for an rp that somehow became the premise of a novel??? anyway @stardustscully was huge in their development bc she brought in the best friends and love interests Finn & Pippa!! (still in love with those two, absolutely endlessly)

So! Luke and Lissa aren’t actually blood related; Lissa is a little under a year younger than Luke and was adopted by the Smith family when she was fourteen, after spending nearly ten years in foster care. So Luke is really used to being an only child, but he takes to being a big brother quite quickly. Luke plays basketball and Lissa runs track, so they’re both quite active and often their bonding time involves working out (yuck). They don’t fight much, as Lissa has some pretty serious PTSD and such, but on the occasions that they disagree, they just refuse to be in the same room as each other for a few days. Lissa’s favorite way to insult Luke is to imply that there’s nothing more to him than the dumb jock stereotype (there isn’t) to which Luke snarks back that Lissa is little more than a gremlin (she’s very short). Aside from sports, they have very little in common, but they love each other and always team up to prank their parents and throw overly extravagant parties for their friends.

Jaq & Keelan

Disclaimer: Jaq and Kee aren’t actually siblings, they’re cousins. (But they were raised together by Kee’s mom so it counts. Hush.) I’m not sure I’ll ever get around to actually writing the story they were made for, but it is a fun one! @spacegaylra contributed to this story at the start of it by helping me plan, and made Jaq’s counterpart/best friend/love interest, August! (sweet summer child, my baby)

SO! Jaq and Kee are fey belonging to the Winter Court. Jaq is an only child, technically, but his parents are recusants (similar to apostates, if you follow dragon age lore) and were killed in a rebellion when he was a baby, so he was raised by his mother’s sister; Keelan’s mom. You really wouldn’t guess that they’re cousins, though, because physically they look very similar. Kee is older by the equivalent of about two human years, and she’s got a bit of an explosive personality. She loves pranks and getting into mischief and she has a tendency to drag Jaq along and then blame him if they get caught. By comparison, Jaq really hates being the center of attention and tries to blend into the background as much as possible. As much as he likes to deny any affection for Keelan, Jaq really does love her dearly, and he doesn’t realize quite how much until he’s separated from her (and meets August!) and has to live without her for the first time ever. He can’t ever let Kee know that, though, so when they’re reunited he immediately insults her new haircut.

Dwight & Gemma

Ah, Dwight. How I despise you and yet adore you. Dwight and Gem are twins in a story I’ve taken to calling Vanilla Pines (also Paranormal Kids) and consult @tennisxiu pretty much every time I work on it. It’s probably annoying. But in my defense, she approved an absolutely cursed character design (and name!!) for Dwight (he’s naturally ginger but this is set in the late 90s and he has frosted tips so his buddies call him White and during the summer he wears a bucket hat)(he’s cursed.)

Dwight and Gemma are also twins, but they’re probably the least affectionate set of siblings in this whole post. They love each other, of course, but they would both rather die than admit that. They were pretty much glued at the hip when they were kids, but around age 8, Dwight makes friends with a girl named Morgan at school. Through Morgan, he meets Wesley and Milo, and the four of them become really good friends; Gemma is excluded, and this is when she and Dwight start to grow apart. The four of them get involved in some supernatural/paranormal shit and endure an extremely traumatic experience shortly after Morgan’s tenth birthday, and for the next 6/7 years Dwight basically pretends it didn’t happen and tries to be closer with Gemma again. But, I mean. Teenagers. Gemma’s the one who pulls away from Dwight the next time, as they have completely different interests and is disgusted by her teenage brother (because, duh. i had teenage brothers. they’re nasty). Ultimately, Dwight is closer to Morgan than he is Gemma, and while Gemma has an image to maintain, that does actually hurt her. (Morgan is nice, but Gemma is Dwight’s twin, yknow?) Gemma gets increasingly more angry about that fact the more and more deep into this supernatural crap Dwight gets, since he refuses to tell her what’s actually happening. When he does come clean about it, Gemma doesn’t believe him and they have a big blowout fight. After that, they have a pretty rocky relationship until their mid-twenties or so. At that point, it’s been years since everything went down and Dwight sticks by his story (unlike the first time this all happened, when he was a kid), and Gemma is more willing to believe him. They’ll never be close, per se, but they get to the point that they’re talking regularly again and will visit each other outside of holidays.

[ironwoman359]

Learning New Things About Ourselves

 Observations, thoughts, and screenshots! 

(under the cut, because spoilers and also LONG)

Patton: “Take it from me. That’s not the way to work out your feelings.” Oof, you really can see Patton’s growth in this episode, he’s so much more aware of himself now. 

Patton: *gasp* Logan!!!!

“It’s Patton!”

Oh my goodness, he’s so excited to see him, Logan, acknowledge him, he’s so happy to see you. 

Logan and Roman are acting like they haven’t even made the progress they have recently, that’s how you really know something is off with Thomas. 

Thomas: Uh, guys? *makes the face*

Patton: “*gasp* I know that face!”

“My child is returning”

Virgil: Thomas you have got to do something about this!  Thomas: But this is what they always do. Right? Oof, Thomas, even if so, that’s not good. You need to help them solve their issues, or there’s never going to be any peace around. 

Patton is so aggressive in his love for Virgil, it’s so cute. And AWWWWW, Virgil gave Patton a dad themed nickname! That’s so precious, my moxiety loving heart is so happy right now! 

AAAAAH, just look at them, they’re best friends and I love it so much. 

(also mood with the arm thing, Thomas)

Virgil’s just all Roman, you’re an insecure moron, Logan, you’re an inconsiderate jerk, can you both just COOL it now? I do love that now, Virgil acts much more often as the “common sense we need,” like, lately he’s been an identifier of a lot of the problems and now that he’s actually listened to, it makes things go way smoother. 

Roman: “I’m not insecure!” Yes sweetie, yes you are.

R&L: I’M THE MOST IMPORTANT SIDE HERE! Everyone’s faces omg:

Virgil: “All I’m saying is you both suck at what you do and I’m tired of having to keep lighting fires under your butts.” 

Also, typical, Roman is trying to defend himself, Logan took Virgil way too literally, and Virgil is making gay jokes until Patton calms them all down. 

Patton, my hero, knowing how to get each of them to shut up, I am so using that in future fics. 

They all zero in so quickly on what Patton gives them:

(Also look at Patton’s face, this is like, a rare moment when he shows off how powerful he actually is. Not just as a strong influencer in Thomas’s personality, but like, he knows them all so well. He knows how they all tick, he knows their feelings better than they do, and he knows exactly how to calm each of them down. He probably also knows exactly how to work each of them up, too, but he doesn’t because he’s Good. This just...it makes me think of human aus where Patton is somehow able to get the whole school to listen to him or retaliates against bullies, and I love it.) 

Happy, distracted bois.

Roman the artist, you’re doing amazing sweetie, wow.

Patton figuring all this out is my jam, tbh. 

You can see the gears turning in his head, and then he has that AhHa! moment, and he doesn’t have the answers, but he knows that’s okay, they just need to do some soul searching to find out what the question is. 

And the others don’t get what he means, but LOGAN, the smart one, he realizes! He understands, and he comes SO close to saying “Patton, you’re a genius!” that it physically hurt me. (I think Logan is afraid, in that moment, but I’ll leave that analysis for another post) 

Logan is so dang proud of himself for that hat. 

Thomas: How did I used to learn things? Logan: Textbooks. Roman and Virgil: Mistakes. Patton: Puppets!!!  I do find it telling that Virgil and Roman both claimed mistakes as Thomas’s biggest source of learning. It not only highlights their tendency to work together on things such as acting and creating, but also how much they both think about their own pasts...I think it’s safe to say that the two of them are more introspective than Patton and Logan. Patton has learned to be more introspective and aware of himself with time, but for both Roman AND Virgil, that constant inner thought process is at the core of their function. No wonder they gave the same answer to that question. 

Virgil immediately jumping to Patton’s defense, “OR we could hear him out! He’s already made ONE valid point today.” I love how protective Virgil is of Patton, and again, I’ll probably go deeper on this in another post. 

I like how this keeps the canon from the other shapeshifting video, that Virgil has a harder time shapeshifting than the others. I also love how he immediately was like “Nope, nope, I can’t pull this off this was dumb” until Thomas reassures him. 

Patton: “You know what happens when you assume! You make an AS out of SU and ME!”  Patton has the dirtiest sense of humor out of all of them and NO ONE shall convince me otherwise. 

Logan throwing that flashcard, yikes.  

So much anger, but also so much instant regret.

Honestly, I think he’s really scared of himself right here, and it’s no wonder that he offered to leave before he could make things worse. But then when Patton refuses to let him leave again (he remembers what happened last time), he seems so surprised, as though he hadn’t expected Patton to care about his opinion enough to ask him to stay. 

Patton is so on the right track here, jumping STRAIGHT to talking about feelings, even though the others don’t like that idea, he insists, knowing that it’s the only thing that will really help them. 

When Thomas expresses that he feels unworthy of feeling bad, Patton shoots that down, knowing it to be unhealthy. I also feel like the line “It’s not your feelings job to make sense,” isn’t just about emotions, it’s about him too. He knows he’s silly, he knows he doesn’t always make sense (especially the way Logan wants him to), but he also knows his worth as a part of Thomas. And he’s going to do his job, dang it. 

I like how Virgil calls out both Logan AND Roman equally in this, both telling Logan to cool it with the deadlines, but also agreeing that Roman hasn’t been performing adequately. I also like how Virgil isn’t right throughout the WHOLE video too, I mean, he’s wrong right here, trying to fix the issue he sees on the surface without first examining the underlying emotions, because that makes him, Anxiety, uncomfortable. 

When Logan insists that no one is listening to him, Thomas then says, alright, I’ll hear you out. What should we do? 

I love the way that Patton, yet again, was the one able to guide Thomas to the question he needed: Am I doing the right thing with my life?

Logan: “If you asked me, I could list several factors that could be contributing to your doubts.” *looks around the room* 

I love that Virgil finally is just like “woah, Logan, what are some of those things?” He knows that’s what Logan wants, and that he’s not going to continue until he hears that verbal validation. 

Virgil the Count. 

“NO ONE TAKES YOU SERIOUSLY!” “Four. Four uncomfortable characters. In this room.” 

Logan is very concerned about Thomas’s image (and also his own) and you can TELL he’s been thinking about this for some time, but been holding it back because, despite how concerned he is, the others seem happy. So he’s held in what he thinks. But he can’t do that any longer. 

“You eat some jam, accidentally tell a few puns and now you’re all sensitive about not being taken seriously?” “I’M NOT A JOKE!” Someone hug him.  He even flat out SAYS that right now, he’s not being listened to. “I can’t be thought of as such, because there will be times in which I must be heeded, and given our current circumstances, I clearly haven’t been.”

Virgil validating Logan’s opinions even as he expresses his disagreement. 

Virgil: “Don’t start with me Thomas. I have plenty of hate to go around.”  Patton: “Oh very funny Virgil, you cute little muffin. Thomas, you know he doesn’t mean it. Now––”  After this, you can see Virgil’s puppet reel back a little, and it’s a testament to how good the puppeteer is because you can tell that that statement...actually hurt him a little. Sure, maybe he won’t HATE Thomas, but he does sometimes still use the scare tactics to make his point, and in some ways, Patton undermined his point by brushing off his tactics. 

Virgil and Roman having a snark off, I am living.  Roman also realizing when he’s gone too far and admitting his flaws, I am so living.

Roman: I do feel bad.  Virgil: Well then maybe you should say you’re sorry.  Roman: You’re right.  Virgil: Oh, really?  He was so surprised when Roman admitted he was right, and even though he thought that apology was for him and it turned out to be for Logan, I think it’s telling that Virgil is still sometimes surprised when Roman admits that his point was good. 

Roman apologizing is so sweet.  “I still feel bad.” Patton knowing that if he lets Roman express himself in a way he’s comfortable, ah, I just love this whole sequence. 

Roman calling Logan and the others his loved ones <3 

The look Logan gives Patton when Patton starts sing/rapping about how he used to hide his feelings:

Aaaaaaa my heart look at him. 

Patton: “Everybody gets sad, even dads who have people to care for,”  Patton cares so much for the others my heart is so full. 

Virgil participating in the song happily and voluntarily, so much growth since Christmas!!!

Virgil: “I thought that I could take it, all the hate would just be shaken, but when you lo– CARE for someone, not much hurts more than their scorn. I also felt bad.”  Roman: “Oh, come now–”  I just, love everything about this. Virgil’s lines, him almost saying love, but changing it last second, Roman literally reaching out to him, it’s just all so perfect <3. 

The music shifting into minor when Logan interrupts with his frustration, and YES, his and Thomas’s duet is fabulous. I get major Lin Manuel Miranda vibes from their section. (thank you @digitally-analog for the transcription.)  Thomas: This just serves as testament to the fact you have a temperament which is fine, you just haven’t accepted it. If you let them finish they’d get to the– Logan: This just serves as testament to the fact that to me, you’re negligent which is fine, it just works to your detriment. You not letting me finish is just proving my– 

Virgil: “HEY! ... You’re lost. It’s okay. I was lost once too,”  Virgil pulling through for them, YES, and I love how he’s able to just so clearly let the others know what they’re feeling sometimes. “You’re lost,” it reminds me of when in Patton’s room, he said “You’re afraid.” Patton may be most emotions, but those kinds of emotions are ones that Virgil is very familiar with, and ones he can spot easily in his friends, and ones he doesn’t want to see them go through the way he had to.

Virgil: No one wants to be a joke, T, R & P: but a life without jokes is incomplete! 

Roman’s bits, omg. 

Thomas: It’s alright, Princey, honestly it didn’t hurt me, it’s clear you’re the one who’s hurting.  Roman: Huh?  I just, someone take both him AND Logan to therapy, they are so emotionally unaware. 

Virgil: “You feel low.”  Coming through again with that problem identifying. 

P&V: “We embrace you,”  Roman: “That’s rich.”  Virgil (gently): “No one hates you.”  I think it’s so important that this line comes from him, because of all the sides, Roman probably feels like Virgil has the most justification to hate him, but here his is quietly reassuring him. 

Roman and Logan FINALLY talking to each other, THANK YOU 

And Logan realizing that the song was actually part of the conversation, and not random like he thought, you go you silly nerd, you’re getting it! Logic is always there, even in the methods that he doesn’t necessarily understand, and that the silliness and dramatics that Patton and Roman love can still be intelligent. 

“Why did I never question people’s belittling views on what I do?”  THERE IT IS THOMAS YOU GOT IT!

Nice DHMIS reference. 

Logan and Roman making up aaaaaah yay. Thomas and Virgil are so proud! 

Virgil telling Patton how he feels, but trying so hard to do it in a way that won’t hurt Patton’s feelings. I’m so proud of him. 

I’m so proud of ALL of them, they did so good. Thomas did good. Character Thomas and real Thomas, this video was amazing, and I loved it. That’s it for this post, but there will be more to come!  –Taylor <3

[actuallyschizoid]

Do any of you guys experience concerningly low empathy? How about limited emotional range, like a spectrum? What about sensory process meltdowns, similar to autists? Do you feel almost no emotion until hit with intensity? How about falling inlove and a best friend? Any previous ddx of anxiety or depression or adhd? Ever made stock friends for the sake of benefits? Rather One night stand than relationships or is it all to disinteresting? Any comorbid SzPD and APD out there? How did you get diagnosed? Views on religion? Im sorry for asking alot, recent ddx and idk what this means for me, never met the average schizoid to paint the picture. Some of these questions have to do with relatability to my symptoms, I guess.

Thanks for submission! Interesting questions. For me personally:

Empathy. In fact, it gets better over time. At least cognitive empathy - which is pretty much psychoanalysis on the go, i.e. taking into account what you know about each person and trying to extrapolate what would they feel, how would they react based on those feels, etc. It isn’t really connected to being able to understand their feelings on your own experience, and way more dependent on one’s knowledge of human psychology, experience observing people and just general live experience. It can be trained for anyone with some effort, but for those who lacks natural emotional empathy it generally gets better just due to having a constant reason to practice it. 

As for emotional and other kinds of empathy... eh, mine’s pretty much limited to laughing along when someone’s laughing their ass off. Yeah, tiny bit of mirroring is all I get, it’s pretty useless. Though, I must say, I do get easier time to relate to feels of other schizoids, autistic people and pretty much anyone who struggles relating to average kind of people.

Emotions. Now that I’m 32, it’s probably not as limited as when I was in my 15-to-25 years, but less of a mess than it was before 15. Still those are pretty... uh, alternative emotions. I still don’t often get the “correct” one triggered on same triggers as most people. My natural tendency is to rationalize stuff, analyze it from system POV instead of getting sad and emotional. 

Like, yesterday there was a plain crush, the whole local internet was buzzing about how terrible it was. I can’t say that was exactly what felt, but instead we were casually discussing the technical nuances of it with a fellow schizoid. Like what effects this kind of event might have had on this or that system, how it might have been made better, what mistakes happened there and what were the means to prevent some of those deaths. I.e more from a system design point of view, where people are just numbers in statistic rather than dead kids who won’t have live, sad parents, etc etc. 

I mean, all that’s sad and all, I get it, but there’s nothing I can do to be sad about it. To me it’s no different from knowing the fact that every day on roads in my country horribly dies about the same amount of people and no one gives a single flying fuck about it. But then same people die in a plain crush and it’s a nation-wide tragedy for some reason. To be honest, if I try to dig into actual emotions I feel about stuff like that, I can find out this kind of feels look rather... wrong to me. I know people can’t help but to feel whatever way they do, and there’s no such thing as “wrong emotions”, I definitely won’t be the one to judge them. But from my POV, it’s really hard to understand this negative hype around it.

Meltdowns. Not sure I ever had an actual meltdown, perhaps as a kid. But I might not even get the idea of what it is well enough. Heavy sensory stimulation actually causes me lots of discomfort. Like, neighbors drilling their walls almost on daily basis is an utter nightmare for me. I still stick my fingers into ears like a kid, yeah. And then try to poke at my macbook’s touchpad with whatever I get left - elbows, tongue, toes... To find at least some distraction from the noise. Eh. Not sure what’d happen if I wasn’t protecting myself from this kind of stuff, tbh, I never neglected this kind of safety measures to find out if I’d be able to handle it.

About no emotions until being hit. Hmm, maybe, not sure. To me it’s more often just no emotions from one specific trigger until.. well, until the trigger is gone lol. It just never occurs if it’s not there, yet when it’s there - it’s there. 

Being in love and having best friends. Never was in love. Seriously, I doubt I’m capable of it. And not sure the best friend thing relates to me either. I had some friends, but never the kind of friends whom I could entrust much about myself. Like, the schizoid person I still consider best friend doesn’t even know I have this blog lol. Or that I write a book, for example. I feel uncomfortable with the fact that people who knows me would also know... well, me. Knowing some part of my life is ok, but no way someone would have access to everything. And the better I know people, the less I feel like sharing. Yet I have absolute no issue with writing this kind of personal stuff anonymously and hundreds of people potentionally reading it.

Previous diagnosis. At early childhood I was suspected to have autism, actually. Or, well, it was long time ago so it was more of a “some development malfunction” diagnosis. I started speaking way too late, but by the time I was able to hack into this speech thing, I already was rather fluent at it, could understand more than my peers, etc. Same happened with reading. And from then on any language, be it human or programming, I can pretty much grab and use, if I want. I can turn in some youtube video on whatever language I’ve no idea about, turn in automatically generated subtitles translated to English and understand most of it, and after few hours getting the basic structure and matching a few common words with their meaning by ear. It might be related to that “could’ve had autism”, but not sure, it’s still not something I explored much with professionals as adult. And yeah, ADHD in some of its (subtile and inactive) forms could be the case too.

Stock friends. Eh, probably? I mean, some kids used to stuck on me now and then in school or college. I didn’t care much, but I tolerated them as long as they weren’t too annoying at least for the sake of dragging at least tiny bit less attention to my own weirdness. It felt like a safer option, yet most time I still have spent alone. 

Relationships and one night stands. Well, I’m aro ace agender, so... Actual romantic relationships were always out of question for me, tbh. Never tried, never feel like trying in the future. Had somewhat of an experimental semi-relationship with a friend, but it wasn’t romantic much and never was intended as long-lasting (at least, not on my part). We’re still friends, by the way, there was no “break-up” (coz there wasn’t much to break in first place). 

As for one-night-stands thing - yeah, that’s pretty useless for me either. Not that I’d had anything against it, were I in need to have sex. Perhaps, if I had that need, it would be the way to go for me. But since nothing really drives me for this shit, I’m fine without it.

Religion. Atheist down to the bone marrow. There was never really a dilemma for me, I knew it’s all utter BS the moment I’ve heard what the fuck is the fuss about this “God” thing people are talking about. Mind you, my mother is kinda religious (not in actual practice way, but she sees no logical issue with the idea of religion, that’s for sure). But she never dared to bring me to church for that orthodox christian initiation practice, what’s it called? Probably was afraid I’d yap about what idiots they are to believe it right in the middle of being shoved in a bucket of “holy” water lol.

Ok, that’s about it. :) And what about y’all? Feel free to add, I’ll reblog.

[tcmpcral]

full name.  basil

pronunciation. technically BAY-zil but my dumb disney-loving brain defaults to BA-zil lmao nicknames. dumbass, dumb as ass (these are, of course, all lovingly given to him by his brothers) titles.  basil the kicker, ‘our kicking basil’ courtesy of roh height.  5′11-6″

age. 23ish

zodiac. leo languages. whatever language they speak on his planet plus a few others

PHYSICAL CHARACTERISTICS.

hair colour.  red, white eye colour. black with yellow sclera skin tone.   body type.  very athletic and toned, but a little bit wiry tbh accent.  like majora below, he’d technically have one to an earthling’s ear, but they wouldn’t be able to place it dominant hand.  left posture. confident. has a definite swagger to his gait, and he sometimes tends to lean on one hip when he stands. other times, he simply has a very open, fearless stance scars. what scars he has are covered by fur tattoos. none most noticeable features. the fact he aint got no clothes on >:u possibly his doe eyes, which gives him a markedly more ‘innocent’-looking expression compared with his brothers

CHILDHOOD.

place of birth.  currently unnamed planet in U9 hometown.  an overpopulated city where it was easy for him and his brothers to ‘disappear’ quite often from under ‘human services’ noses birth weight / height.  he has no idea manner of birth.  just. the usual, i guess :v first words.  it was probably something like ‘bermo’ which was his babyish way of saying  ‘bergamo’ lmao siblings.  lavender, older brother, bergamo, oldest brother parents.  his father died at some point before he was born, so he has no memories of him. his mother either died or was separated from the three around the time basil was one to two years old (which means i need to edit A Thing i wrote recently rip), so his memories of her are fuzzy and nondescript parental involvement.  he was loved by his mother and treated overtly affectionately by her from the time he was born-- however, his time with her was short. from her disappearance on, he was raised by his older brothers, who did their best of course, but likely fell short in various ways

ADULT LIFE

occupation.   ??? whatever it is, it’s not fully legal current residence.  a small apartment with his brothers. thanks to a certain god’s influence, it’s a little more luxurious on the inside than one might expect based on its outward appearance close friends.  uhhh. his brothers. minca, at one point. and probably again eventually. otherwise, he has various. uh. basically casual drinking buddies, so i’m not sure he’d consider them close relationship status.  single financial status.  it’s okay. paycheck to paycheck, but. again, thanks to a certain god, he and his brothers are able to live rather comfortably driver’s license. unfortunately, yes  criminal record.  Yes vices.  impulsive, short-tempered, has a tendency to be irreverent without entirely meaning to (not that he’s not Trying to be, just that he’s not thinking about it), lacks common sense a lot 

SEX & ROMANCE.

sexual orientation.   he personally identifies as heterosexual but tbh it’s bc he’s only had one girlfriend and hasn’t really thought about his sexuality in great depth. i could honestly see him being bisexual romantic orientation.   ??? preferred emotional role.  submissive |  dominant  | switch  |  unsure preferred sexual role.  submissive | dominant | switch  |  sex repulsed libido.  h-hahaa er. High turn ons.  i don’t. know yet tbh turn offs.  anything too Out There love language.  how do i. explain it. it’s not affectionate exactly, but it would be very obvious to his partner that he likes them, bc there’d be signs like his face lighting up whenever he spotted them in a room, or the fact that he invites them to go with him everywhere, that he’d rather spend time with them than with his drinking buddies, etc. he doesn’t actually do a lot of PDA, i think, bc i tend to see him as being a little more immature than that tbh, but there’d definitely be signs of affection and. adoration there relationship tendencies.  basil, at this point in his life, just wants someone he can have fun with. he doesn’t want commitment, he doesn’t want to think about the future (unless it involves daydreaming about visiting cool places)-- all he cares about is the now, and how he can have fun in the now. as such, he’s drawn toward those with like values and desires, and would be turned off by someone who seemed intent on ‘changing him into a better man’ or something similar

MISCELLANEOUS.

character’s theme song. here we go again, renegades hobbies to pass the time.  sparring/fighting, drinking, parties, tagging along with his brothers, causing mischief mental illnesses.  avoidant behaviors but lbr mostly none physical illnesses.  none left or right brained.  right-brained fears.  failure, disappointing his brothers, losing his brothers, embarrassing himself in a way he can’t Come Back From self-confidence level.  ehh, tbh, it’s mostly high. he probably gets down on himself at times when he thinks he’s done something exceedingly stupid, but for the most part, he thinks pretty highly of himself vulnerabilities.  don’t. don’t pull his tail, that hurts. his loyalty to his brothers, the secret feelings he keeps to himself about his childhood if anyone ever figured them out tbh, his fears that he really is kind of dumb

full name.  majora pronunciation. MAH-zheruh nicknames. nurse baobei (an old one from shosa that majora absolutely hates to be called in public these days. not that he. loved it to begin with) titles.  has an officer’s rank of some kind? does that count height.  5′8ish

age. Advanced (TM) no sorry i just haven’t decided how he ages compared to humans yet :v

zodiac. capricorn n/a languages. whatever language his planet/region uses, as well as a few neighboring ones

PHYSICAL CHARACTERISTICS.

hair colour.  olive green, white eye colour. ???? skin tone.   body type.  slender, slim, but toned. certain joints like his wrists and ankles are very thin and frail-looking, however accent.  he’d have one to an earthling’s ear, but it’d be hard to place dominant hand.  right posture. generally straight, tho sometimes a little slouchy just bc he’s tired. while he was a military nurse, he wasn’t required to complete any kind of military training, so he doesn’t have the perhaps expected ‘soldier posture’ scars. what scars he does have are easily hidden by fur. has a scar on his upper abdomen leftover from a splenectomy tattoos. none most noticeable features. his ears are huuuuge

CHILDHOOD.

place of birth.  some planet in U4 lmao hometown.  a currently unnamed city on the coast. presently lives in a mountainous region in the northern part of the country/planet he lives on birth weight / height.  ~6 pounds, ~19 inches manner of birth.  something akin to twilight sleep first words.  it was ‘pig’ bc he witnessed one of his older sisters calling another child the term as an insult siblings.  four other siblings (two older sisters, one younger sister, one younger brother is the baby. he is the third oldest of five, right smack dab in the middle). his eldest sister is deceased. he is mostly estranged from the others and only sees them occasionally throughout the year parents.  Mother: jima Father: rougu, i haven’t quite decided what it was that they did just yet but whatever it was left them rather well-off financially, enough so that they were able to allow their children to pursue whatever interests and hobbies they desired (assuming they were proper, of course). their beliefs were steeped in traditions and conventional wisdom, and these are what majora grew up with and probably still to some degree practices to this day parental involvement.  somewhat negligent once he hit a certain age and was capable of helping with younger siblings and household chores, etc. his parents never were particularly affectionate with him, tho they encouraged certain interests of his (...martial arts, mostly) while discouraging others they felt tarnished his (read: their) reputation. this was especially true as he grew into his preteen and teen years and began showing behaviors they didn’t like

ADULT LIFE

occupation.   retired; former nurse current residence.  lives in a communal apartment setup. he lives at the end of the hall, is able to claim he has the largest room of the floor, and also has a nice little balcony attached to his room as well that he shares with the newly-married couple who live in the room next to him (who i’ve named chuan and cori). he’s quite fond of his living arrangement, despite what he may occasionally say otherwise close friends.  ..........shosa. that’s it. that’s literally it relationship status.  single financial status.  he survives on retiree and disability benefits........ but altogether, it’s not bad driver’s license. doesn’t need one. both. bc the city he lives in is compact enough to be able to walk everywhere and bc. Blind lmao  criminal record.  lots of curfew and truancy violations as a teen fjfiea;g  vices.  proud, aloof, withdrawn, set in his ways, stubborn, self-sabotaging

SEX & ROMANCE.

sexual orientation.   generally identifies as homosexual romantic orientation.   homoromantic probably preferred emotional role.  submissive |  dominant  | switch  |  unsure preferred sexual role.  submissive | dominant | switch  |  sex repulsed libido.  middles toward low, even when coupled, but he’s not repulsed by any means turn ons.  ....like basil i’m. not entirely sure yet turn offs.  treating him like a doll?? does that make sense, listen he might like to dress up but don’t treat him like a mannequin. and don’t take advantage of the fact that he can’t see what he’s putting on, that should be obvious. Anything without his permission, ignoring his discomfort if it comes up, not letting him know what you’re doing before you do it gdi love language.  kinda stiff and awkward in the beginning, but he softens up soon enough. he never does get to be the type who is outwardly affectionate and forthcoming about his feelings, and particularly in public, will seem very distant and cool to his partner, but he is definitely the sort to enjoy being around a partner and seek their company quite often, whether it’s to accompany them about the town or simply to relax at home

relationship tendencies.  truthfully, romance just isn’t on his mind much these days, but he’s always gravitated toward those that he could spend time with and not necessarily worry all the time. he’s not like basil and wants only to live in the present, but he does need something or someone to ground him in the present, or he thinks himself into a nervous frenzy about the future, particularly nowadays at his age and at his level of dependence on others. he worries occasionally that he’s too much of a burden, and that his efforts to decrease his status as a burden only exacerbate it

MISCELLANEOUS.

character’s theme song. cleopatra hobbies to pass the time.  fishing, listening to music/the radio, playing music occasionally (usually when he’s been left in charge of kids and they’re being little hellions rip), going to see plays and operas (even if he can’t appreciate the sets or costumes anymore, he can still enjoy the stories and acting, he supposes) mental illnesses.  none tbh physical illnesses.  some kind of anemia (think pernicious anemia), which results in fatigue and body aches, compromised immune system left or right brained.  left-brained mostly fears.  death, losing another sense, various small fears related to his blindness and his resulting vulnerability, being helpless/a burden, convalescent homes self-confidence level.  relatively high to moderate while he keeps his independence. when he makes mistakes or otherwise flubs up bc of his blindness, it tends to crash a little vulnerabilities.  his fear of both dying and debility/helplessness, frequent refusal to accept help, obviously he. uh. can’t see, tho his other senses help him out to some degree there, 

[kalloway]

I Dream in Fear (old Dragon Age fanfic WIP)

Decided to just throw this up there - I wanna find the motivation to finish it or re-write parts of it, but tbh I’m actually pulling dialogue from it rn for a different dialogue idea I had lmao

But hey, it’s here if you want. It’s long, so it’s under the cut. I wrote this back in January 2015, apparently. Wow.

Hope it’s okay! I’m not formatting it at all before queuing this so if it’s weird... let me know - I know my theme’s garbage for this sorta thing rn OTL

There was a blade breathing down her neck as the silence hung heavy in the room. He tried, but his breathing was ragged; nervous. So quiet it was, he was ashamed to consider that his Knight-Commander could probably hear it form where he stood – judge it, criticize it when this ordeal was over – oh Maker, have mercy upon this terrified young Templar. Perhaps forgive him for the sin he'd considered acting upon. Duty had held him firm, but this mage – this woman – had managed to shake his stubborn will.

He was not supposed to do what he did. He was a Templar – plain and simple. He observed, he protected, he fulfilled his duties. He did not become a stammering fool and he did not become irresponsibly smitten with a mage simply because she had smiled at him once. He wasn't supposed to, but he did despite himself. Was he ashamed of this? Of course, but he found that every time he told himself 'no', he'd catch a glimpse of red hair and a flash of those honey-coloured eyes, and he'd forget his own oaths. He didn't even know her, and yet he knew far more than he cared to admit. She was very talented however, even First-Enchanter Irving had mentioned it once – but was it not wrong to pick favourites amongst those that may not even-

No, of course not.

He simply admired from a distance, trying to understand what exactly made him feel this way. Before he knew it however, the Templars' shifts would rotate, and she was out of sight... but not out of mind.

Some days were better than others in this situation. He wouldn't mull over it much and attended to his duties like any other Templar – though with the odd glance he'd give her when he thought no one was watching. Then there were days he became helplessly paranoid, fearing for her for minuscule reasons that he'd blow out of proportion. That mage over there seems like he's standing a little too close to her to just be on friendly terms... Was that Templar staring at her too? At the end of these troublesome days, he'd pray that he would grow out of this phase or... condition. How long he'd denied it. How long he'd attempted to brush it off as nothing. But it was nothing. Nothing good would come of it most certainly, but was that the only thing that drove him to all this concern and stress over a mage – a woman – that was nothing more than one of many charges he watched over? It was all too confusing for him, and he feared that it would start to show. He feared he'd be caught, or worse yet – she be the one punished for his own seemingly uncontrollable infatuation.

It was early one evening that he spoke to her directly for the first time. He was assigned to a watch in one of the libraries in the Apprentice Quarters. He didn't even realize that she was there – and therefore wondered why he was sent to a seemingly empty room to begin with – until she'd suddenly moved out the corner of his eye to scan more of the tomes on the tall wooden shelves. He didn't dare move from where he stood, but he watched her run a slender finger across the spines of the tomes, searching by title or author possibly, he didn't bother to choose one. He simply observed.

After a few minutes of searching and three tomes in hand at last, she finally spun on her heel to take notice of his presence with a simple greeting of, “Oh, hello Cullen.” He swore his heart ceased to beat when she said his name. He had never told her his name... he hadn't even spoken to her before!

“How do you-? I-I mean...”

She blinked once before she sputtered out a reply, “Oh, I just... overheard another Templar...” She trailed off, uncertain, “I'm sorry, that was probably very rude of me. It was not my place, Ser.”

He was taken slightly aback by her concern. Was it concern for him? No, no, no. Don't think like that. He felt like he was being strangled of the air in his lungs... why was it so hard to simply speak to a mage? “Oh, uh... it's no issue. R-really! You can, uh... you can call me what you like. Er- within reason, of course.” He felt like a fool.

She gave him a weary smile in return, “As you wish, Cullen.”

And that was the end of the conversation. Cullen spent the rest of that night berating himself for being such an idiot. Things only became worse the next day when he overheard a conversation between two mages as he made his rounds through the Apprentice Quarters. He only caught part of the conversation, but he had heard his name and mention of 'Amell'. That was... Cullen had panicked upon hearing this conversation, hurrying past that section of the mage quarters so he didn't have to hear any more of it.

Yet despite this, the routine remained unchanged, save for odd mutual glances at one another when they passed. It was embarrassing for the both of them. However she was undoubtedly more ignorant on such matters than he was. When he'd first become a Templar, they had blatantly stated that Templar-Mage relations were not tolerated, especially within the same Circle. He had wondered at the time why they would have to mention such a thing in the first place. After all, was it not common sense?

If that was the case, then Cullen had none.

He spoke to her again, this time in the Senior Mage Quarters on the second floor. She was waiting outside the main library/stockroom in the hall, where Cullen was walking. He'd considered trying to ignore her, but that would be terribly rude, especially if she made an effort to greet him should he do so. Therefore, he chose to simply (or tried, at least) to ask her why an apprentice mage was on the second floor.

She'd turned to him with bright eyes, “Ah, I'm waiting for Tomkin – you know Tomkin, yes? - to gather some tomes he believes might prove useful in my studies.” She suddenly turned bashful, “He says it'll help me get ahead with all this stuff. I told him that wasn't necessary at all – after all, I'm not really all that special – but he's quite persistent, he is. The only reason I'm actually here is because he said he didn't want to leave me unsupervised downstairs. Maker only knows why he's so concerned about something so trivial.”

There was that familiar dull pain in his chest again. Worry. He had a terrible, faint feeling about why the mage Tomkin would be concerned leaving her alone, but he dared not think of it too much. Instead, he did his best to brush off the grim feeling, especially when he caught sight of aforementioned mage making his way back to her no doubt, with an armful of tomes. “Oh, I-I see. Er, very well... carry on, Amell.”

He cringed and silently cursed himself. 'Oh Maker, it slipped I swear!'

She furrowed her brow at him. She noticed. Cullen panicked, he wasn't supposed to refer to mages by name... it wasn't proper protocol! Much to his surprise though, the young mage in front of him only said one word , paired with a stern look in reply: “Miriam.”

He almost asked her the most idiotic question, but she had turned her attention to Tomkin, who has returned and ushered her back towards the Apprentice Quarters with the 'reward of knowledge'.

Miriam.

It suited her.

After learning her name – her informal name at that – Cullen felt almost giddy for the rest of the day. He didn't pray for forgiveness that evening. He didn't berate himself yet again for his foolish, impulsive actions. He was completely and utterly infatuated.

He spoke to her once more after this, back in the library once again. She saw him and gave him her usual bright smile – her eyes warm and welcoming – that never failed to set his heart aflutter. They were silent for quite some time, until Miriam had returned the tomes to their designations and seemed to be preparing to leave for her quarters for the night. She stopped in front of him after glancing around, presumably to ensure they were alone. She then turned her gaze upon him, “It's funny, how we always seem to be in the same places these days, Cullen.”

He could listen to his name pass through her lips forever... He quickly snapped back to his senses to the best of his ability, “Ah, y-yes. Well I, uh... I take this particular shift once a week. I... suppose our b-being in the same places besides this is... it's just a coincidence I'm sure.” He mentally slapped himself. He sounded like he wasn't too fond of her implications, when it was really quite the opposite. But what was he supposed to say?

“A coincidence, perhaps. But it's not like it's a bad coincidence. I mean, you're more forgiving than most. You have humanity... restraint. Something most Templars appear to be severely lacking, from what I've been told.”

Her compliments caught him entirely off-guard. Technically speaking, she was crossing a fine line with her subject matter. But he found himself reduced to a stammering mess yet again, “Y-you think I- H-humanity?” He scoffed at his failing voice, but it came out far harsher than intended, “All Templars have humanity... Mages do as well. You do.”

Miriam sighed, “That's not what I meant , you- Ugh. The other Templars... they just follow orders and don't care about their charges. They'd rather do as they please and scowl from afar. But you... you're different. It's a refreshing change, not having to be paranoid every waking minute.”

No words tumbled from his lips this time. Rather, his adoration for this mage only increased and was threatening to show. Though she had indeed somewhat insulted his Order, her sharp comments were not directed at him... well, not entirely. He'd noticed she had the tendency of being rather snippy with those she spoke with, so it didn't bother him nearly as much as it should have, although it still brought a twinge of shame for his own misinterpretation. That concern aside however, she was still taking the time to compliment him on a trait he himself had grown to dislike. He feared his compassion would interfere with his duties as a Templar, and had been scolded by Knight-Commander Gregoir for it more than once. He'd tried to detach himself from his charges and had done so successfully with all but one.

'What made her so different?', he'd occasionally wonder.

He'd wanted to spill his feelings to the woman; to break protocol and let it out so he wasn't so worked up about it. He wanted to take her slim hands in his own and compliment her – on her beauty, her wisdom and righteousness, everything.

Before his wild train of thought had found its end, Miriam had hastily bid him goodnight before leaving for her quarters. He watched her retreating form. His gut twisted uncomfortably – he should have said something. He shouldn't have even been thinking of such things to begin with. Such thoughts were dangerous, they told him.

He would regret his silence the following day.

The day of her Harrowing.

There he stood, overseeing her Harrowing – the most important day of her life. Cullen had not been informed ahead of time like some higher-ranking and more experienced Templars may have been. Gregoir had simply approached him out of the blue and commanded him to follow. He did so, but only knew what he was in for after reaching the fifth floor of the tower – the Harrowing Chamber.

'This Harrowing is like any other', he told himself, 'but why does it feel so... wrong?' He was never this nervous – this afraid – for neither himself nor the Mage he was 'guarding'. No, that's not what it was to him at all.

[strawbnie]

Hey do you do astrology compatibility too?? If so, I’m a sag sun, Aries moon and Gemini rising and my boifriend is a Pisces sun, cancer moon and Gemini rising. If not that’s totally cool and I hope you have a wonderful day 💖.

fkjfjdjdjjd okay omg sorry this is. so late 💞💙 i can't guarantee anything i say will be right im not an Expert™ n before i say anything I'll say I don't necessarily believe in the science of compatibility the way most ppl do like. I think our chart points certain traits we have and ones we lack and subsequently bc of those traits we attract and are attracted to ppl with traits we need or that we have in common w them but that leaves such a wide berth and a lot of ppl go against their gut just bc of a certain circumstance or a really pretty face and r attracted to ppl who they're not necessarily compatible with BUT furthermore every relationship has its struggles and unique issues and i think love is all about the work people put in to help their relationship move forward WITH THAT SAID let's carry on:pisces and sagittarius r two of the most sensitive and perceptive signs. there's a tendency in both of these signs to be underestimated or to be perceived as sth they're not. pisces ppl tend to push forward this concept that they're very tough to break and a lot of the pisces i know hype up their intellectuality more than their other traits, there's this underlying worry that because they're so overemotional, they won't be seen as valuable in social and interpersonal contexts. that's total bullshit imo but I can't blame them for worrying. in summary u get huge softies with a boner for learning but ugh some pisces (men specifically) can b the insufferable type of alternative indie boy know it all type u KNOW the ones but tbh when it's a pisces IT'S OKAY bc u dont even need to dig that deep it's right under that thin coat of film thot that they're gigantic uwu crybabies and fuck i love them sm!!!!! sagittarius is a fantastic sign but u do sorta the same thing u r usually very easy to please, pliant, and don't take urselves tooooo seriously so you're very good at lightening the mood but that means u present urselves as extremely optimistic happy-go-lucky human fortune cookies and that fucking sucks bc it leads to a lot of ppl taking that for granted and u feeling like u can't express ur down moments in fear of shattering this flattering image uve adopted. the truth is pisces + sag r very similar in some ways and u guys can both benefit greatly from opening up to one another but EQUALLY. there's a LOT of suppression involved in these signs but especially w ur moons (cancer moon.... ugh! how doES HE live honestly im only a cancer rising and i cry at everything + aries moon i wont even go into that) u might both forget urselves and like. just take into account that u r a team and ur on the same side and u r there to guide and love each other and u should be good. you guys r lucky bc u have very comprehensive placements like. all ur placements here click well, there's a flowy back n forth of I Understand You You Understand Me which is a goddamn blessing. sharing the same rising is very convenient too and sagittarius and pisces w gemini rising is abt the most chilling thing I've ever heard sjdkdksm Ur definitely the hot intimidating couple fjdjdjdjdj also FIRST TIME AROUND I MADE AMISTAKE N SWITCHED UR MOON SIGNS BUT NOW EVERYTHING IS EBEN CLEARER SMDMDMDM OKAY SO GO EASY ON UR BOYFRIEND i know sag+aries as a combo comes w a refreshing bout of honesty n u cant sugarcoat things but cancer moons tend to get carried away and spiral into negativity easily bc theyre very sensitive to other ppl's attitude towards them and esp w such a fragile sun sign woofkfjfnffndnnmfm but ur both good tho, very soft im !!!!!

[sveasauvageon]

Nothing happened to me. I happened. || GW

☾♔; March 19, 2018 ☾♔; sotd: idk yet ☾♔; comedian otd: JOHN FU.CKING OLIVER ☾♔; GW NPC Audition II ☾♔; {G} https://goo.gl/XSTtMc ☾♔; mod(s): @themadmonarchist @maybones et moi

Preamble Ramble: finally an opportunity to write for my favourite psychopath (also probs my fave out of all the characters I've ever made. soz everyone else)

⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ஜ۩۞۩ஜ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀Dominika Grigoryevna Vororina, (approx 460)

⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀I'm a cool girl ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀I'm a, I'm a cool girl ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀Ice cold ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀I role my eyes at you, boy ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀-⠀Cool Girl by Tove Lo

⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ஜ۩۞۩ஜ

⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⚜️ THE BASICS

Nickname: Nika, Professor Vororina (generally addressed as such, rather than as a nickname), Khalessi (self-applied), Professor Khaleesi (makes students call her that, mostly first and second years as a joke, somewhat, older students whom she is "fond" of may continue calling her that, or people trying to be a teacher's pet), Rurikovna (literally; "daughter of Rurik", it's a self-applied title as well) Gender: cis-female Date of Birth: Vaguely winter (it was a long time ago) Place of Birth: Moscow Kremlin Nationality: Russian (she's held a bunch of citizenships over the years, but she's gone back to Mother Russia recently)   Ethnicity: Eastern Slav Accent: Russian   Blood Status: muggle-born/half-breed (of sorts)  

Profession: Potions Professor at Hogwarts (also Head of Slytherin House)

⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⚜️ PHYSICAL APPEARANCE

Face Claim: Rebecca Ferguson

Hair: She's had an array of colours over the centuries, always long, but the styles have varied over the centuries. She currently favours fiery red or slivery-gold/platinum, changes it on a whim. Could be Russian witch stereotype red in the morning, and then Khaleesi coloured in the evening.

Eyes: Blue-green, occasionally they seem to flash red, though she claims that's just a trick of the light (or is it? tun, tun, tun!)  

Height: 1.7m

Weight: idk, but also what does it matter, she's immortal and basically undead, her body doesn't change.  

Body: lean, lithe, unnaturally attractive

Any Scars/ Marks?: none

Any Tattoos/ Piercings?: just her ears, triple pierced or whatever for ear cuffs.

Quirks/ Mannerisms: - eerily silent, she doesn't make any noise when she moves, no matter what she's wearing.   - some may notice her smirking to herself in the corner now and again when chaos is erupting in the foreground (did she 'cause it, is she approving of it? Who knows)

Style: expensive. She likes wearing dark and/or vivid colours, as well as sharp and elegant clothing. Her style can best be described as "instilling fear in the hearts of men". Well, that's her wardrobe's goal, anyway.  

Additional Information: - wears a f u c k ton of heels, like, always, and yet they never make any noise - always seems to have a little box (or whatever) of fries/chips (whatever you wanna call it, as a north american, I call 'em fries) in her hands - likes wearing crosses, mainly as an inside joke with herself

⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⚜️ PERSONALITY:

Head cannon: Nika has a slightly complicated reputation, well, first off, she's a teacher, so she's not really involved with the hierarchy, she's outside of it. Her reputation, however, runs as either the coolest or scariest teacher. It really depends on how "interesting" she finds a student, she will spend time with them (positively or negatively), if she finds them to be "dull", however, they literally look like furniture to her, she will speak without ever hearing them. She's both a chill and strict teacher, if you get the work done, you can do whatever you want, if you're goofing off without doing anything or proving to be a nuisance whilst she's speaking, you may find your cauldron spontaneously exploding. She can also be chilling with the nuisances, if someone is speaking whilst she is, the cauldron will go "boom" whilst she continues on with the lesson as though nothing dramatic is happening. She's not an all together bad teacher though, if she finds people interesting, she'll spend time with them and actually attempt to pass on knowledge and throw questions at them during class, and even ask about their problems and whatnot if they're looking down (though it has been observed that her "advice" does not lead to the best result, and more often than not results in more difficult and complicated situations for the person). Additionally, whilst she does not actively hide that she's a vampire, she also does not go out of her way to confirm that. But does make nerdy "full moon tonight, don't be out too late" type jokes.

Theme Song: Khaleesi by Ramin Djawadi

Personality (+ 5, - 5): Psychopath. like, a real proper psychopath, not just as a word thrown around at homicidal maniacs or selfish dovchebags, she feels literally nothing, and not in a "cool girl" way, she can't feel anything, her brain's just not wired for it. She generally displays herself as a confident, intelligent, classy, and elegant, well-educated, proud European, and is seemingly easy to befriend and get along with so long as you like clever things and/or sarcasm. However, she's faking all of that. She doesn't really "feel" anything, and one could describe her as being "empty". Her entire personality has been meticulously built by herself over the centuries to best and most easily fit in with society and not draw unwanted attention to herself. All of her emotions and personality traits are things she's mimicking from people she's met, and she was doing so before she even became a vampire. Having been born a psychopath, she doesn't have the same emotional range that normal people do, she just can't feel anything, she's incapable of it. She has a complete lack of remorse and guilt, she doesn't even have the same "biological imperative" impulse that the rest of us have when it comes to blood relations and their safety. A majority of her relationships are superficial, based on physical attraction and/or mild amusement, but genuine and deep relationships is a struggle for her. Next to impossible, it's not that she doesn't want to care about pretty boy 57, it's just that she can't, also who cares about such disposable people anyway?. Having said that, it's not impossible for her to actually care, it's rare, extremely, but not impossible. In her entire life (which is nearing 500 years and including all potential plotting), she only formed a genuine bond with (up to) three people, and her own family is not on that list. So when she does genuinely care about a person, she's extremely protective of them, given how rare it is, and is excessively aggressive towards any she deems has or may harm them.

Nika is genuinely very logical and rational, and has a rather scientific mind. Or more one of a mad scientists'. She's extremely curious about the nature of humanity, and one can even say that she "enjoys" experimenting on them by forcing them into complex and difficult situations and observing how they react. She also has a tendency to experiment on herself, as a child she would harm herself, not out of a sui.cidal desire, but to see how much pain she could tolerate, if she would feel fear when she got close to death, if she would/could cry, etc. (she didn't cry, or get scared, but her heart rate went up sometimes, which was fascinating). When drugs became a thing, she took literally all of them at various doses and mixes just to see how it would affect her as a witch and a vampire. She also experimented on animals, she's stopped now, except with dogs, she kills them after the third annoying bark (I'm sorry, but she's a psychopath, that's what they do! TT_TT). She's never grossed out and probably too okay with blood and guts, and too good at dealing with it. Highly organized, and punctual, she displays a reckless and complete disregard for the safety of herself and others (with the exception of those whom she has a genuine bond with). She's a pervasive liar, deceptor, manipulator, and is quite narcissistic, and superficially charming. Whilst rage is not a common "emotion" she experiences, irritation is one that she can genuinely feel, and when genuinely irritated by something, she has a tendency to cause it immense physical pain before ultimately killing it.  

Any mental health issues: she's a genuine psychopath, whilst she doesn't think there's anything wrong with her, according to society, she's messed up.

Favorite Quotes/ Sayings that your character would use: - "Nothing happened to me. I happened." - NBC's Hannibal, said by the titular character, and definitely something Nika would say because I'm a nerd who makes references. - "I have what used to be called an axis II personality disorder. So you can scream and cry, and beg all you want. You can tell me about your spouse and kids, all about your happy little life. When I kill you and them, I won't feel a thing." - okay, there isn't much context for her to use that now, but she totally used it before, or a version of it.   - "It's amazing how easily the human brain can be manipulated." - "You think I was damaged? Some childhood trauma? That's so sweet." - said by Root from Person of Interest - "You should know torture almost never produces good information. Well, almost never." - also said by Root, she has the best quotes tbh - "I bleed like everyone else, but I don't feel. My heart rate won't  even go up. Cut me open and let's see if I scream." - again, not something she has much opportunity to say now and days, but defs something she's said in the past. - "How arrogant of you to think that any of us are anything, but irrelevant." - said by greer, also from person of interest "You don't take over the world with gaudy displays of violence. Real control is surgical, invisible. It interferes only when necessary. " - also said by greer

Additional Information: - animals naturally fear her, some even go to extremes to avoid her, and dogs tend to bark at her whenever she passes by (part of why she hates them so much, also, should mention, they've been doing that since before she became a vampire. It's the psychopath they instinctively fear, well, now, the vampire too) - Seems to know every language there has ever been. - piano and violin (she had time to kill) - quite good at video games (where as I am trash), enjoys open-world/high fantasy games like The Witcher and Dragon Age

⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⚜️ BIOGRAPHY

Relation to your OC: professor

♣️ Family Background

Nika is from a mainly muggle family, her father was Ivan IV aka Ivan the Terrible, first official Tsar of all the Russias (later Russian Empire) and her mother was Anastasia Romanova of the House of Romanov (later became Tsars themselves until the Bolshevik revolution and establishment of the Soviet Union). Her father had multiple wives and mistresses, resulting in numerous siblings and half-siblings.

Through the union of her father and mother she had 6 full-blooded siblings, many of whom died in infancy; Anna Ivanovna, Maria Ivanovna, Dmitri Ivanovich, Ivan Ivanovich, Eudoxia Ivanovna, and Feodor Ivanovich (later Feodor I). She had two half-siblings from her father's later marriages, Vasili Ivanovich, born to her father's second wife; Maria Temryukovna, and Dmitri Ivanovich, born to her father's seventh and final wife; Maria Nagaya.

Nika maintained a mostly positive relationship with her father's numerous wives. Her mother died less than two years after her birth, so she didn't know her well, but a maid later admitted to Nika that the Tsaritsa was somewhat off put by baby Nika's lack of crying. With her step-mothers, she was well-behaved and polite, but she never cared for them. They provided no interest to her, and by the fourth wife, she began viewing them the same as mistresses or as toys, to serve a purpose and be quickly replaced with they failed in their purpose. She found his fifth wife; Anna Vasilchikova, enjoyable and even endearing to an extent, however, she didn't remain long and was quickly forced into nunnery.

As for her father, they had a somewhat contentious relationship. It was the 1500's, so there was the whole "women are less than men" thing going on, something which Nika never understood as a logical concept. She was always smarter, stronger, and more able than Feodor (her elder brother by just a year)since infancy (oh, also, she didn't like Feodor. She considered him weak, and a pointless existence who would've been better off as furniture). Regardless of that, however, they did get along on certain things, especially when it came to the Oprichnina and Ivan's darker habits, which she shared and initially some would say she inherited from him, until later seeing acts that outweighed anything even Ivan would dare to do. Their relationship later completely deteriorated when he killed her brother, and his heir, Tsarevich Ivan.

Ivan was always her favourite sibling. Of all the Tsar's children (excluding Nika herself, or rather Vasilia as she was called then), Ivan was best able to handle the Tsar's moods and behaviours, and similarly best able to handle Nika's psychopathy (the Tsar wasn't a psychopath, fyi, from what I've read, he was definitely paranoid, I would say paranoid schizophrenic, but they're not usually violent, and Ivan IV was super violent. It could've been due to the time period and the power he had, but meh. I'm not a professional, just a bad student). Anyway, back to little Vasilia and big brother Ivan. Out of all the others, he was the only one not immediately terrified by her darker tendencies, and even convinced their father to allow 11 year old Vasilia to join them during the Massacre of Novgorod, thinking (correctly), that she would enjoy it (she loathed when they retired to church for prayer though). Although he never fully realized how different she truly was, Ivan was the one who taught Nika to mimic her emotions and behave as a proper Tsarevna, and allowed her to express her displeasure and dislike, and every other "abnormal" emotion she experienced in private with him (some stuff which did freak the fu.ck out, especially, what she admitted to doing to the pet dog of a courtier she found annoying). Following Ivan's death and an argument with her father, she left Russia, but not before taking the cane Ivan IV used to kill Ivan with and burying it in the latter's tomb with him.

♣️ Family Affiliation: Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry, Slytherin House, Russian Ministry of Magic, Rurik Dynasty, House of Romanov, Russian Throne, Koldovstoretz, The Bolsheviks, The Society for the Tolerance of Vampires in London (she joined jokingly, but they still haven't grasped that),    

♣️ Socio-economic status: confusing. She seems to have a lot of money, but her pay from Hogwarts is not enough to cover all her tastes and material objects. Few dare to question her, but for those few who do, her answer for where her money comes from is simply "history"

Quick facts:

Born in 1558 (February 3, though she claims she's forgotten the exact date), she is the last daughter of Tsar Ivan IV with his first wife; Anastasia Romanovna. At birth, she was given the name Vasilisa Ivanovna, and was an odd infant from the get go. Whereas her numerous other siblings cried, she never did, even as an infant, which unsettled her mother, though her father was pleased by it. As she aged, she began to realize she was different than her peers, and not just because of her position. She was indifferent to their fears about wars, and was not easily distracted by shiny things or "cute" animals as they always were. Some maids would joke behind her back that she was "undead" child, as she never displayed any joy or interest, or any emotion really. She would only animatedly chat with her elder brother, Ivan. However, Vasilia truly came alive upon her father's creation of the Oprichnina. She was only a child when it was formed, less than 10 (between 6-7), but would attend every execution, and was noted to have had a chilling grin on her face as the "traitors" (as labelled by her father) were killed one by one.

Nika discovered magical abilities at age 5, when a playmate brought over her new puppy to show Nika and the other royal/noble children. It's barking was driving Nika mad, and it suddenly lost it's voice. She later developed more control over her abilities, using them to slow down blades as it moved through someone's neck, framing annoying maids and servants for theft, sometimes setting them on fire. Ivan was the first to find out about her magic, and out of fear that she may be burned, did his best to hide her magic. They were found out by their father's third wife; Marfa Sobakina, whose mother was a witch (making her a squib). Instead of being ratted out, however, Marfa was able to convince the Tsar to send Nika to a far away boarding school, excellent for girls of "her" nature, and refining her into a lovely young woman, instead of the oddly, blood thirsty child people feared her to be.

Although beginning at Koldovstortez, she flourished there, particularly when it came to the dark arts and dueling, she had an uncanny knack for using any potion and/or spell to cause harm to others, both physical and emotional. After completing her education, she never pursued a career in the magical world, she was a vital piece on the chessboard of royal problems, and instead fell in line with her siblings, marrying a muggle boyar of her father's choosing (she has forgotten his name at this point though. Nikolay? Dmitri? Viktor? She can't recall), however, she was simultaneously engaging in an affair with a woman named Maria Dolgorukaya (regarded by history as an entirely fictitious wife of Ivan IV), who was secretly a vampire, drawn to muggle court games. Together they disgraced and ruined many nobles, a number of whom lost their heads to her paranoid father. Whilst their relationship was passionate and explosive (especially for other people), the true extent of Nika's care for Maria remains unknown, she was more than expendable to her, but she certainly did not "care" for her in the way that she did for her brother. They engaged in an argument, which eventually grew physical and resulted in Nika's turn into a vampire and Maria's corpse floating in the river (it's unclear how she died though). About a year later, her brother died too and she left Russia.

Before 1692, Nika spent a lot of time in the muggle world, particularly in royal courts, and "played" various roles, including; advisor, mistress, royal mistress, seductress, assassin, tutor, governess, maid, agente provocatrice (a female who entices one to act criminally and/or against their best interest), noblewoman, damsel in distress, and damsel doing damage. After the International Statute of Secrecy became law, she left the muggle world for a while, engaging with the newly cut off wizarding world, and she found real joy in settling into their small tight-knit communities and stirring up drama (ala desperate housewives). However, that thrill only last for so long, and she turned her attention back to the muggles.  In 1888, she ran about Whitechapel, in London, England, as the infamous and still unidentified (to the rest of the world) muggle serial killer; Jack the Ripper. Masquerading as a nurse at the time, she killed only the canonical five, and her spree was initiated by interest in police procedure and behaviour. Following the thrill of the chase, she ended up back in Mother Russia, where she took part in Bloody Sunday, also known as Red Sunday, Jan. 22, 1905, and fired upon the unarmed demonstrators as a member of the Imperial Guard. She later changed her identity and became a member of the Bolsheviks, and took an active role in the Revolution of 1917. She became an informal member of Lenin's cabinet, and was the original person to set the Romanov execution into motion, though, it was never traced back to her, and they were also distant cousins of hers.

During Soviet Russia, she based herself in Sverdlovsk (present day Yekaterinburg), where she created a sort of cult of vampires, dark magic, and murder. Whilst the humans made Sverdlovsk an economical powerhouse, she made the city a hub of supernatural superiority, deviance, and debauchery. It was impossible to walk two steps without running into one supernatural being or another, most of whom were vampires and/or dark wizards. She spent the longest amount of time in Sverdlovsk, as compared to the rest of her vampire life, living there from 1925 - 1989. Having grown bored, she allowed hunters and whatnot to enter the city and "cleanse" it, whilst she escaped and moved elsewhere in Europe. After acquiring the identity of "Dominika Vororina", she accepted the offer of a position as a professor at Hogwarts, mostly of out renewed boredom with the muggle world.  

Additional Information: - despite having lived for nearly 500 years, she's never stepped foot in the united states.   - most of Nika's life is defined by involvement with muggles, she's never really had any close ties to the magical world, which also allows her to more easily hide the nations worth of bodies and mayhem in her past

⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⚜️ HOGWARTS INFORMATION

Hogwarts school stats: n/a She never attended Hogwarts as a student, however, Nika is an alumni of Koldovstoretz, where she held a dark reputation, even as a Russian in the late 1500's. She was rumoured to practise dark magic (of the illegal and murderous variety) and consort with a displaced group of dark wizards from the recently sacked Novgorod Republic (ironically, it was her father that sacked them anyway). Largely, she was a solitary student, though in later life she would claim that's because they were scared of her station (whether or not this is true is up for debate, as she uses a wistful tone and has an expression of "struggling to hold back laughter" on her face).  

Any Pets?: none, animals fear her. Especially dogs. And she in turn loathes those grimy mutts. She does like dragons though, and they're the only known creatures not to instinctively fear her or attack on instinct.

Reputation at Hogwarts: (mixed in with the headcanon part, meh, she's a teacher and not a student anyway, so her "rep" doesn't really matter)

Additional Information: n/a

⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⚜️ INDIVIDUAL MAGIC

Wand: Vine Wand Core: Thestral tail hair Wand Length: 11 ¾" Wand Flexibility: swishy

Patronus: Dementor  

Boggart: it appears in it's true form before her or simply takes her shape, as she is a genuine psychopath who does not feel real fear. She's never disclosed it's appearance to anyone though, originally it was out of a need to keep her psychopathy hidden, later, simply "just 'cause", and a desire to forever leave the suckers (everyone else) guessing.

Amortentia: Amortentia potions don't emit any scent for her, as a psychopath, she is incapable of emotions like love. Whilst it's not completely impossible for her to form a genuine bond with someone, a lot of that is dependent on what that person does for her, like an uncle teaching her to hone her abilities or explore her psychopathy. Those genuine bonds are always selfish on her part, and exceedingly rare. She can't feel love the same way as normal people, she didn't even form a bond with her parents, and doesn't experience attraction (of the romantic and/or sexual kind) in the same way that regular people do.

Affinity to any particular magic? - wandless magic (she's quite proficient with it, and rarely uses a wand at all) - nonverbal spells - whilst talented with dark magic in general (she's a psychopath, how else will she magically experiment on living things), the cruciatus curse is probably her favourite, and she can perform it both nonverbally and wandlessly.

Additional Information: - although many things about Nika have changed over the centuries, including her name, her wand is the only thing that remains unchanged from when she first obtained it in 1571

⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⚜️ USER INFORMATION

Username: @drownedinmoonlight Activity Level (Scale 1-10): 8

⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⚜️ OPTIONAL Playlist: https://goo.gl/hgLGub Moodboard: https://goo.gl/CVY1pY Social Media (instagram, facebook, snapchat, twitter, etc) : Storyboard: Aesthetic Collection: https://goo.gl/8qDwce Wardrobe/Style Collection: Plotting Set: Story:

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When you have completed the audition, please tag the mods: @drownedinmoonlight @themadmonarchist and @maybones and use the hashtag #GWnpc

[writing-corner-of-ashley]

Whisper of the Heart (1995) Film Review

Spoiler review! Read at your own risk. 

Whisper of the Heart is a 1995 animated film directed by Yoshifumi Kondo, who was supposed to be the successor for Studio Ghibli. However, he died in 1998 before he could direct more films, so Whisper of the Heart can be considered special on its own.

I’m going to sound really biased discussing this film, because it’s a personal favorite of mine. Whisper of the Heart is a romantic and coming-of-age film, centering on two main characters: Shizuku Tsukishima and Seiji Amasawa.

Shizuku, the main protagonist as the film revolves around her point of view. (Photo retrieved from Reddit, ctto)

Seiji, the secondary protagonist (or deuteragonist to sound posh) and Shizuku’s love interest. (Retrieved from Glow blogspot, ctto)

It can also be considered a slice of life film since the circumstances were grounded on reality although it also contains fantastical elements which stems from Shizuku’s imagination.

So I’m going to start with my positive observations because those are my prominent thoughts on this film. I will start first with the characters themselves because they’re the ones important to the film and in making the story alive. 

Positive Observations:

Shizuku and Seiji are relatable characters, they are like you and me. I believe a film’s strength relies on its characters. If the story itself is good, it will not be worth something if the characters themselves are bland and empty. However, in this film, I felt pleased knowing Shizuku and Seiji. Most importantly, I felt myself connecting and resonating with them - especially Shizuku.  

Shizuku sitting inside the train on a normal day. (Gif not mine, ctto)

Both Shizuku and Seiji were in the adolescent period where personal growth is very crucial and changes are happening in transitioning to an adult. It was at this point they were both trying to figure out who they’re supposed to be; finding their place in the world; and what future they were envisioning for themselves. 

We can relate to that kind of reflection in ourselves because we all underwent the same way: questioning and discovering who we really are and what we want. It also includes the journey towards achieving the goals we have set in our lives in order for us to feel happy and fulfilled with ourselves.

Seiji escorting Shizuku home. (Gif not mine, ctto)

Frankly, I’m also still in the adolescent age although I’m older than Shizuku and Seiji in this film (seeing as they’re both 14) and I am still trying to figure out what I want in my life. 

It was easy to resonate with them because they’re also experiencing realistic life experiences - going through change that at first makes us in despair (as evident when Shizuku feels down when she feels like she’s changing; Seiji breaking down in tears when he attempted to make his first violin) and the indecisiveness we’re experiencing for our futures.

Shizuku feeling down as she felt herself changing. (Gif not mine, ctto)

None of what they’re going through is fictional so it is very easy to feel what it’s like in their shoes - which would include the air of awkwardness between the two of them that is reminiscent of adolescent romance. 

Schoolmates trying to eavesdrop in Shizuku and Seiji’s conversation, which made it more awkward. (I personally found this scene funny) (Gif not mine, ctto)

Shizuku and Seiji are very likeable characters. So aside from the equation of making the characters relatable and realistic, there is also another equation of making them likeable. Likeability plays an important factor in making the character that can resonate with the audience. If the character fails to be likeable (ehem, Rikako) then the audience would be reluctant to make a connection with them despite having real life experiences anyone can relate to. However in the case of Shizuku and Seiji, they were both really engaging characters.

Shizuku and Seiji talking comfortably with one another. (Gif not mine, ctto)

They were both interesting and I actually want more of them, which is why they’re perfect for one another (the shipper comes out I’m sorry). 

What made it even more amazing is that Shizuku and Seiji can be recognized separately from one another. They’re not the type wherein you can mention one character and yet their only notable trait is their relationship with another character; not having any distinction of their own. 

What’s great about Shizuku and Seiji is that they have their own unique characteristics and situations: Shizuku being the more expressive aspiring writer with a supportive family and Seiji being the more silent aspiring luthier yet with a reluctant family.

Shizuku writing. (Gif not mine, ctto)

Seiji crafting a violin. (Gif not mine, ctto)

They have their own strengths and weaknesses as a character, as well as positive and negative traits (albeit minimal) just like any human being. What also made it great is that any negative traits of theirs do not overpower their positive traits therefore making the audience feel warm, sympathetic, and drawn towards them because one has to consider that they’re both protagonists and not antagonists.

Seiji being caring towards Shizuku. (Sigh. Very cute!!) (Gif not mine, ctto)

Although there are films with complex protagonists like positive and negative traits altogether become mixed; the film has to explore the circumstances and situations they are in to make the audience understand and connect with them in ways to make them likeable and intriguing. In the case of Shizuku and Seiji, they were both very likeable and interesting, which is already a terrific start in progressing the story. 

Shizuku and Seiji’s chemistry is perfect. It was also in both Shizuku and Seiji’s distinctions that ultimately made them a great pair. Shizuku is the more expressive one: she knows how to deal with words and she almost always impulsively says what she feels or wants, as noted by her best friend, Yuko, who said (non-verbatim), “You always know how to express yourself, unlike me.”

Shizuku feeling very annoyed after meeting Seiji. (Gif not mine, ctto)

She is also considered to be scatterbrained or someone who usually keeps their head in the clouds and invested in their own world - as she has a sense of vivid imagination.

Shizuku so caught up in her own imagination she almost got ran over. (Gif not mine, ctto)

She is also the type who has the tendency to panic and worry so much, instead of maintaining a composure. She is also prone to insecurity, denoting a lack of confidence in her abilities - which also contributed to her immense self-pressure. 

Shizuku stressing herself out over finishing her story. (Gif not mine, ctto)

She also has the tendency to isolate herself when she’s pressuring and struggling with herself such as when she tries to finish her book. She also bottles up her feelings and keeps them to herself: not really sharing her qualms with her family. Aside from that, despite her love for Seiji, she still tends to compare herself with him; even to the point that she felt she wasn’t good enough for him.

Shizuku opening up to Yuko about not feeling good enough for Seiji (Oh boy can I relate). (Gif not mine, ctto) 

Seiji, on the other hand, is the more silent one: he knows what he’s doing because he invests more in actions than words. This was evident when he started checking out books before Shizuku so that she’ll be able to notice him, rather than just confessing to her in a straightforward manner.

Seiji admitting to have been checking out books before Shizuku to get her attention (ughhhh this is so cute huhu). (Photo retrieved from Pinterest, ctto)

Unlike Shizuku, he’s calm and collected as well as blunt, especially whenever he would be weirded out with Shizuku’s seemingly outlandish comments.

Seiji being weirded out by Shizuku’s comment of his violin as she said it’s like magic. (Photo retrieved from Fio Picolo’s Tumblr, credits to at.kawaiianime)

He is also more confident in pursuing his dream of becoming a luthier, even risking having a strained relationship with his family. He even risked going out of his comfort zone to go to Cremona, Italy to truly hone his skills and not pursue the conventional path of going to high school and college.

Seiji playing the violin (Tbh, he’s very handsome in this scene ugh) (Gif not mine, ctto)

He is also more experienced than Shizuku as he had already started the pursuit of his dream while Shizuku is still starting her journey - which would explain his rather nonchalant approach. 

The one thing Shizuku and Seiji have in common is that they were both extremely passionate about what they wanted in their lives. It was passion that binds them together and served as the foundation of their relationship, indicating that they both have the same mindset.

Seiji and Shizuku performing “Country Roads” with translated Japanese lyrics. (It’s an amazing cover btw!) (Gif not mine, ctto)

It was also their distinctions that made them the puzzle piece for one another, as Seiji balances out Shizuku and they can learn things from each other. 

Even though they started on the wrong footing as Shizuku first found him rude as he teased her by mocking her written graduation lyrics of Country Roads, their relationship eventually developed overtime as they got to know each other.

 Seiji’s first words to Shizuku. (Gif not mine, ctto)

I also think the scene when Shizuku discovered that Seiji is the same boy who checked out all of the books she has been borrowing was pivotal, because Shizuku has been fantasizing or rather have her own image of who Seiji Amasawa might be and it all came crashing down that it was the same rude boy she has met. 

It is an indication that having a certain image of someone might not be accurate to how they really are in real life, and this revelation seemed to give Shizuku a dose of reality. It denotes that while having a wild imagination and being a fan of fiction is great, it does not really bode well if we apply these things in real life.

Shizuku and Seiji arguing when Shizuku found out he’s the Seiji Amasawa. (Photo retrieved from The Asian Cinema Critic, ctto)

In other words, Seiji served as the reality that Shizuku needs in order to grow more as a person. She realized that she needs to figure out what she wanted to do in her life; that there’s a life beyond her books; and she needs to know herself more. This was affirmed by Shizuku in the end, “You’re the one who inspired me, Seiji.”

The scene where Shizuku uttered that sweet phrase. (Gif not mine, ctto)

Another symbolism of their relationship is when Seiji is cycling upwards on a steep hill and he insists on carrying Shizuku, which she disagreed with. She then helped him push the bike upwards and said the phrase, “If I’m going with you, I’m going to help you.” 

This represents how important reciprocity is in a relationship in order to make it progress - as evident that they both managed to push the bike to the top despite getting tired.

Shizuku helping Seiji go upwards on the steep hill, affirming that she doesn’t want to be a burden for him. (Ah, yes, beautiful). (Gif not mine, ctto)

Alongside this, since they also shared the same mindset of being passionate in what they want, they are also willing to commit to each other - therefore making their relationship strong. The film did a wonderful job in creating a romance that’s healthy and a great example for everyone. 

Seiji hugging Shizuku and loudly proclaiming he loves her. (A very sweet and heartwarming moment ugh) (Gif not mine, ctto)

The film teaches us that pursuing your passion, albeit unconventional, is what really matters. In life, people would usually think that studying hard is the key to have a great future. People would not think twice of finishing college education, like it was as if it was already mandatory to finish college to have more job opportunities and to determine what career we would like in life. It makes us think that being able to finish college or even pursuing a graduate education equates to success and fulfillment.

Shizuku writing down notes from books, although she’s not really studying for her lessons. (Gif not mine, ctto)

However, this film showed us that’s not always the case. There are some dreams and jobs that do not require the traditional high school or college education like the case of Seiji, who wants to become a luthier. 

Just because someone wants to pursue a career that does not require the conventional pathway to success doesn’t mean they will become a failure in life; in which unfortunately Seiji’s family and Shizuku’s older sister, Shiho, doesn’t think that way. 

Shiho snatching Shizuku’s headphones as she writes, an act of disturbance. (Gif not mine, ctto)

They thought that straying away from what is considered “normal” or “practical” is a bad idea as they seemed to hold financial stability on a higher level than passion. 

However the film was trying to tell us that passion is what’s more important even when you have to take the risk going on your own path and doing things differently. It tells us that it’s passion that will engulf our hearts in merry flames and will ultimately make us feel happy, regardless if it’s not conventional.

The film showed that pursuing one’s passion is no easy journey. It truly portrayed how one’s journey towards achieving their dreams will be hard especially when one is just starting. 

This was symbolized in the imagery of a rock with gems within it as shown by Seiji’s grandfather, Shiro Nishi. Nishi explained that the rock is just like an artisan: still rough, raw, and natural. For a beginner, no one should expect perfection, but they can work in finding the gems within themselves. Once an artisan finds their fullest potential, then they will make an effort in polishing and refining it.

Nishi explaining the rock’s symbolism to Shizuku. (Gif not mine, credits to AnimePlus.TV)

It’s a simple yet wonderful imagery that tells us the road towards our dreams is still a long way and it’s up to us to continue further down the rocky road - eager to fully furnish our own shiny gem. However we must also be ready to face the hardships that we’ll be dealing with - such as the feelings of crippling despair, self-doubt, anxiety, and pressure that could tempt us in giving up.

Shizuku being very tired from all the writing she has been doing. (Gif not mine, ctto)

It’s normal to feel like we’re not good enough; comparing ourselves to others; and worrying if we will ever perfect the precious gem we have found within ourselves. 

However, we must always remember that we wouldn’t know until we try. We have our own paths to walk on and comparing our progress to others constantly is not fair for us. 

Other people, even when it’s our significant other, a friend, or a family member, is also in their own unique journey through life. Not all of us are the same because we are different and diverse from one another but we can still find ways to connect with others.

Seiji holding Shizuku’s hand. (A really tender moment and they stayed like that for awhile ughhh) (Gif not mine, ctto)

This connection will serve as our support system as we continue our pursuit in achieving what makes us happy in life and they will be there to remind us to never give up; that there will be light at the end of the long tunnel. It will all be worth it at the end. 

The sunset at the ending scene (beautiful visuals!) (Gif not mine, ctto)

Well that was long. It was because I really loved this film hence I have a lot of positive things to say about it. Honestly, when I re-watched the film to determine what negative observations I had: frankly there’s a little to none. I tried thinking of a negative observation but they were too far of reach. However, I do notice some aspects that can contribute as to why people wouldn’t really like it or consider it as impactful.

Negative Observations:

The film could be considered too idealistic for some. There are some people whose dreams in life include going down the conventional path in which they could aspire to be a teacher, doctor, engineer, or other jobs that are considered “respectable” or “financially promising”. 

They would also most likely agree with the perspective of Shiho, who thinks that being practical in finding a job that will satisfy you financially is what’s most important. They would also think that this film is too “feel-good” or rather very idealistic.

Shizuku’s apartment on a rainy day; representation of a dim reality. (Gif not mine, ctto) 

They would not resonate well with Shizuku and Seiji because of the couple’s idealistic mindset that could be considered “naive” for them. Although I myself shared Shiho’s sentiment on some level and this is what I have been wrestling with in the past years: financial stability or passion? 

Anyway, some people think that having financial stability will ultimately make them feel happy on itself hence that’s their dream. In that mindset, it is understandable that they would not appreciate the film in its entirety as well as the characters, so it fails to foster a connection with them. They would rather see a film with Shiho as the protagonist instead. 

Shiho shouting orders at Shizuku while she’s about to take a shower. (Gif not mine, ctto)

The film’s romance could also be considered as “corny” to some. I personally love the Shizuku and Seiji romance as well as the ending when Seiji proposed future marriage. 

But I have also seen some reviews that thought it’s too sudden and they found it corny to watch - which is why Hayao Miyazaki defended it on an interview where he explained that he wanted Shizuku and Seiji to commit to something because a lot of young people these days are too scared for commitment and would rather be in a moratorium stage for ages and I TOTALLY agree.

Seiji shyly proposing to Shizuku in the ending scene. (UGH THIS IS MY FAVE SCENE OF THEM I SCREAMED) (Gif not mine, ctto) 

Hook-up culture is very prominent because a lot of people in the adolescent stage were too apprehensive to commit to a relationship, so I personally found the Shizuku and Seiji romance to be a breath of fresh air. It is very wholesome, pure, and healthy. 

However, there are some people who find it cringey to watch such romance - maybe because they weren’t into it and it’s too sappy for their taste. I don’t judge because we all have different tastes.

It could also be possible that they like the story but the couple’s romance ruins it for them, in which another Ghibli film, Kiki’s Delivery Service may be better for them.

It also has the same premise as Whisper of the Heart, but it’s more fantastical and focuses mainly on the dreams of Kiki. It has no romantic subplot in the sidelines, so it’s definitely a recommendable film to anyone who is not into romance. 

Those were really the only negative observations I have seen from the film, because I find it to be a simple yet heartwarming masterpiece. I really admired Kondo’s work in this, because he really captured what an adolescent is going through in pursuit of a dream that seemed so far away.

Shizuku running in trying to find her gem in her dream. (Gif not mine, ctto) 

I really resonated well with Shizuku as I’m also an aspiring writer on my own with a huge amount of self-doubt and anxiety to the point that I’m also bordering on becoming Shiho. 

However, this film struck gold within me and I got inspired to pursue writing. I want to refine the gem I found within myself; which is why I’m writing this review now.

Shizuku basking in the view of West Tokyo. (Gif not mine, ctto) 

Thank you, Mr. Yoshifumi Kondo for creating such a wonderful film that I can go back to. Rest in peace. I rate this 5 out of 5 movie tickets. Bravo.