#sorry if this isnt what you wanted i just

[theduck5]

its amazing what treating children like the small people they are can do for a kid. kids want attention, they can get it either negatively or positively. negative attention, if it is all they get, creates someone who does not know what to do in face of positive attention, nor how to gain it. so they do things to get attention, but negative attention(ie, getting yelled at, punished physically, etc)

but they aren't well rounded when they grow up. did you know babies die when not held? when not loved? we are social creatures, we desire attachment, connection, positive thoughts and emotions. but we are shaped by those around us. listening to children, our future, is so important. they want love, sometimes as simple as lighthearted astonishment, a nice smile, an attentive listener. someone who takes them seriously. they have big emotions, for they are so young, they may be feeling them for the first time, or do not understand their actions. but you can teach them, they'll understand.

why does the rule of not senselessly hurting people make sense? it is cruel, it hurts people. do they deserve to be hurt? why? they are only human, what gives one the right to decide who deserves to be hurt or not? we've gotten this far by helping each other.

children ask why why why because they do not know, they want want want because they do not understand sharing. but they can. we can tell them, explain in ways they understand. violence teaches fear, it does not teach respect. respect is garnered through deeds that others claim fair, reasonable. or hard ones, that they could not bear. you teach a child the feeling of pain when they cry, they will not cry. you teach a child the feeling of fear when they speak their truth, they will not speak. you punish a child for wanting to learn, they will not want to learn. children can understand cause and affect, they really do. they can empathize with unfairness, they can accept reasoning for actions taken or not. the reasons can just either be "crying and screaming makes me hurt," or "crying and screaming is unproductive, it does not get what i want, but there are other ways, like waiting."

explaining how the world works to a child gives the child information. "why cant we get candy?" "too much candy is not good for you." "why? its yummy" "the sugar can be bad for your teeth, so if you want candy you need to brush your teeth really well, and eat some vegetables, to balance it all out." "so i can have candy, but i have to do two things i dont want?" "yes" "mmm two candies for two actions" "alright, deal." this teaches a child how to be healthy, what is and isnt good for your body, and gives an understandable explanation of why not.

everything we know we've been taught. we know what anger is because we have felt it and had the feeling identified by another, or have been shown anger and connected the dots. we know what water is, because someone or something explained what liquid is. we know how to empathize, because we were taught how our actions affect others, and how this affects us. not everything we've been taught is necessarily by words, but by actions, connections of two different things, understanding of situations.

(sorry if this is all over the place i am So Tired but Incredibly Passionate about this subject)

I am exceptionally lucky in that my parents never hit me, grounded me, confiscated my things, banned me from my hobbies or threatened any of these actions to make me behave as a kid. as an adult it has made me realise how very very long a road most people have to traverse before they can take a statement like 'no rule that must be enforced by threat is legitimate' seriously.

[dailyadventureprompts]

Hi there! I hope your having a wonderful day!

So i had a question, or more acuratly wanted to ask for some advice. Ive more or less recently started dming, mostly in the form of one-shots for my main group. And ive stumbled across the following issue: while i love the lore building and describing and rp-ing i really struggle with combat. I tend to get overwhelmed and forget about effects and skills, and struggle with coming up with 'battle tactics' (which is what our campaign dm suggested) or make it way to easy because i worry about the players being dissappointed by 'loosing'(eventhough they've mentiones they would love harder combat and would even be okay with a tpk if it was earned)

So do you happen to have any suggestions or ideas on how to practice running and organizing combat and/or scalling or ways to not get so overwhelmed?

(Im sorry if this isnt quite what you do, i just didnt really know who else to ask)

This is ABSOLUTELY what I do friend, every part of the dungeon mastering experience is worth talking about because that's how we improve.

If you're having trouble learning your way around combat you're more than justified: it's a whole second game, and strategic skirmish tactics requires a very different skillset compared to the collabrative storytelling rules you're just now getting a handle on.

First, lets talk about what combat in d&d is even FOR: Fights in d&d are really no different than any other challenge, they're a hurdle you as a DM employ to introduce drama to a narrative and engage your players, not all that different from a locked door or an obstinate NPC that needs to be convinced. The difference is that when you call initiative, you are shining a spotlight on the moment to moment decisions your party makes when time is limited and greatly raising the stakes: Seconds matter in combat, quick thinking matters, mistakes matter.

To use a simple example, recently I ran a road encounter where the party came across a gnomish merchant who's wagon had been attacked by predatory flightless birds. The question wasn't "can the party defeat the birds", I knew they could, the question was " Can the party defeat the birds before they eat this poor gnome who will be a friend/ally to them later"

The reason you're having problem with tactics and being worried about killing your party is that you're thinking about combat as its own isolated thing rather than a dramatic beat as part of a larger story. Most fights in D&D are NOT about attacking the party directly: Instead the baddies have something they want to accomplish (Take, devour, defend, slay) and it's a question of whether the heroes can stop them before they accomplish their mission. Combat only takes 2-4 rounds generally, which is a limited time for your players to put their thumbs on the scale and try to alter the course of events. Tactics are emergent out of goals, so think about what your minions would want to happen and how they would've gone about achieving it before the party comes by to wreckingball through their carefully laid plans.

Another example: An enemy force is attacking a castle the party are guests at, looking to secure hostages in preparation for a coup attempt by a rival noble. While the villains' over all job is to capture pieces, the initial wave of badguys are primarily concerned with slowing the party down to prevent them from interfering with the other attackers around the castle, meaning they'll fight defensively, potshots from cover and barring exits.

When you refocus the badguys' goals away from killing the players and towards things that push the plot in a particular direction (especially one the party would generally like to stop) you’ll have a clearer idea of what the enemies want to be doing, which not only helps you decide how they act, but also pick what enemies go into a fight.

If you're feeling totally overwhelmed another option would be to switch to a game system that focuses less on crunchy combat. It's drastic but everyone has game systems that fit better with their particular DMing style, especially in the early days when you're first developing. I'd highly recommend Forged in the Dark, or Powered by the Apocalypse systems, as they still have the punchy action-forward storytelling of d&d without having to manage much on the mechanics side.

[mythalism]

I think part of why Blackwall has the option to get off easy is definitely down to his willingness to be submissive and contrite. I think it also helps that we find him at the tail end of his "redemption" rather than in the middle so he's already acknowledge his wrong doing and is resolved not to repeat the crime, he is technically already trying to atone for it when we meet him as he was going to join the wardens as a self-imposed "punishment" though I would still argue his behavior can be considered cowardly as he is running away from his crimes rather than taking responsibility. If he were unrepentant I think the writers would treat him differently, as would the fandom. I think also the amount of power and sway the inquisitor has over Blackwall plays into it. Blackwall by the time we meet him has no real agency over his fate and no power to do any harm or good on a wide scale without the inquisitor. No matter how hard he might try to, in his words "want to do good and be good" it's out of his hands. There is no point during the game prior to the inquisitor potentially redeeming him that he is a free man.

i think you are right about a lot of this and i especially like your use of "submissive" to describe what blackwall has that anders and solas do not. and while i agree that contriteness and repentance are important parts of blackwall's more positive narrative framing, i dont think that can be the smoking gun because solas is famously remorseful and apologetic, at least at high approval, but that does not buy him the same narrative goodwill that blackwall gets. anders isnt repentant at all but. you know thats just anders. anyway that is why i think you nailed it with the "submissive"ness being the key. solas is apologetic, repentant and contrite and expresses repeated remorse for what he is doing and has done, but he does not submit to your (the player) will. he is more powerful than you. you cannot convince him. the same is true for anders. both of them are unstoppable and are one of few things in thedas that are completely outside of the player's control. and when you look at video games as a power fantasy, as many people do (not me tho... stay safe out there) this inhibits the power fantasy and makes people uncomfortable. blackwall, on the other hand, submits to your will and judgement.

i think this is especially interesting in regards to solas's non-redemptive endings and epler's comments regarding the fantasy of being right. blackwall says "im sorry, i was wrong and you were right" but solas says "im sorry, but i am right". im too lazy to find it but epler cited this fantasy of "being right" verbatim in one of his AMA rants about how important it was to him that solas be fooled and defeated by the player. blackwall lets you be right, lets you decide what to do with him, returns agency to the player. solas and anders refuse.

whats weird then is that the writers wrote them like that on purpose, and then turned around and villainized them both later. i think to that end, @kraujuota's reply on my original post about the implicit bias we have towards state-sanctioned violence being permissible versus revolutionary violence being evil is probably our best bet at explaining that lol

[soulidarity]

focused on your senses

after the bond between the two gets stronger, rafayel senses the blurred line between them

hurt? maybe???? | mentions of rafayels condition | check my notes at the end!

rafayel felt an agonizing amount of pain on his left knee, waking him up from his slumber. it wasn't unusual for him to feel discomfort there when walking, but he never had experienced this, it felt foreign.

as if the pain wasn't his

his brain was spiraling with a million thoughts as he tried to make sense of this, fearing that the cause of this was her.

as quickly as he could, and in a very clumsy matter, he reached for his phone on the nightstand. 12:08, she should be at work. he didn't know if that relieved him or made him worry more.

a ring...

then another...

the pain became stronger, as if needles were constantly stabbing it. moving it didnt seem to make any difference to the amount of pain, not what he usually experienced when he had bad knee days.

another ring...

a grunt could be heard on the other line

"kinda busy yel!" the familiar sound of her gun shooting was heard in the background

"did you hurt your left knee?!" he said frantically

"thats totally not an oddly specific and not a creepy thing to say out of nowhere" another gunshot "yeah i did- how do you... nevermind, can i call you back?"

"yeah, yeah for sure. just, please, stay safe"

the call disconnected, a deafening silence. rafayel took of his shirt and went to the bathroom mirror, the pain once again didnt seem to react to his movement, just a constant. the image of his reflection confirmed his theory, his bond mark glowing.

"ugh... fuck."

hours later, the sound of his number pad lock being unlocked drew him away from his thoughts, as a very agitated mc entered his home, throwing her bag onto the kitchen counter halfhazardly. he would coo at the domesticity of the action if it wasn't for the situation they were in.

"okay, what kinda lemurian bullshit did you pull?"

taken aback, rafayels eyes widened as he guided mc to the couch, raising her left leg onto the foot rest nearby, "i didnt do anything!"

"then how did you know? the wanderer had literally just attacked me when you called. which by the way, new rule. no more calling during work hours unless you're dying. just text me"

"it sure felt like i was dying" rafayel muttered, pouting.

"...huh"

"okay so remember how I told you that when lemurians bond our senses are focused on our partners?"

"yeah... your point?"

"i now feel the pain youre in, it woke me up"

"you were sleeping?"

"i dont think thats the point cutie!"

"right, you're right. sorry just... deflecting, I guess? this is a lot. like, im in pain most of the time so this isn't good"

"that isnt good by itself" rafayel argued "we can focus on that later, first this. why did it show up now? havent we've been... 'bonded' for a while now?"

he thought for a while, trying to come up with a recent significant event of their relationship "could this be the first big injury you have since our trip to the dessert?"

"actually, yes. but ive been in pain before these days" rafayel looked at her sternly "we'll revesit that later, but i think i could've confused it with pain from my own stuff, like, my bad posture and other stuff"

"so what do we do? i can't just not get injured, it's part of the job, but i don't want to hurt you"

"clearly it only bothers me if its a very significant injury, which I really hope you don't get. I wont stop you from doing your job, we'll figure it out as we go, okay?" he geabbed her hands, a reassuring smile on his face. she looked back at him warmly "alright, get me some ice"

hiiii i have some word vomit to do about this so bear with me or stop reading

1- if you dont know what condition raf has, its been said to a lot of time in canon that he has a hard time running, walking, standing, his resting posture even shows that he puts more weight on his right leg. he is also going blind 🤓☝️. i want to explore him losing his senses and abilities due to this undiagnosed issue and starting to feel more from mc from the bond. it is said that his senses are now focused on her, this is probably not what infold meant.

2- lately ive been dealing with my own health issue, to get better i have to do stuff that cause me the same pain that my illness does so i dont take care of my self much which i know is bad in the long run. so yes i am projecting onto yel leave me alone 😔

3- i think this might be a series! i want to explore other senses, not necessarily angsty though!!!!! i love fluff. life is way too dreadful to not have a bit of wimsy writing about two fictional characters

[traineecryptid]

okay so, i hope this isnt a bother but i wanted to get to the root of this so: I contacted Haihe's customer support.

first image: the wechat contacts of said customer support which i got by scanning the company's website so it's not like i got some third hand information off a shady website.

second image: my chat with the customer support, which might i note is so patient with such a non-purchase, non-product issue question?

customer support: hi, how can i help you?

me: im looking for the packaging designs that Haihe had used from past till present. specifically ones used in the 90s and shaped like a pyramid.

customer support: im sorry. i don't have [the information.] we're unable to provide it to you.

me: alright, thank you. sorry for the trouble.

customer support: you're welcome.

me (couldn't bear just giving up and going home): then, may i know when your company had changed their packaging?

customer support: I'm not sure about that.

me: can i at least confirm that there was a past design shaped like a triangle? like the photos attached below?

customer support: [i] have never seen triangle [packaging].

customer support: it's bull horn packaging.

me: could you show me a picture of that so i can be sure how it looks like?

customer support: you can look it up online

me (ive lost braincells and wasnt thinking at the time just googled it and...): the search results are all croissants...

customer support: the official website.

(it took me Too Many minutes to figure out that they meant their company's official website and not like Baidu or sth and lo and behold theres image 3 right on their front page... half blocked by the fact that im on my phone and it loaded weird. so i used a picture i downloaded earlier)

me: is this the bull horn packaging?

customer support: mhm mhm

me: alright, thank you so so much! else i wouldn't be able to sleep with this on my mind.

THUS, here this sidequest ends for me. Of course, there's still the possibility that the customer support has no idea what they're talking about or that the pyramid packaging was a limited run in a specific area and that specific timeframe is niche lore even for employees etc etc. So... perhaps unless someone from Tianjin had childhood photoes of them drinking from a pyramid Haihe milk packet, the case shall remain... unsolved?

(also, i just wanted to say that when i first saw the taobao listing, i immediately thought "oh yeah, thats a triangle for sure, it's wide on the bottom and narrow on top." despite having already seen the korean milk photo, which in hindsight, what *was* my brain on...)

but anyways, thank you for the fun sidequest! now i know what ill be doing if i ever hang by Tianjin: try all 9 flavours of those milk + whatever other crazy new flavours they came up with.

okay google images is giving me nothing but cartons and novelty products,

chinese tumblr

pls tell me i haven't made up this memory

do you remember getting milk in like, these triangular bags? they were shaped kinda like pyramids, you could put straws in em?????

[castorfell]

Can u draw broppy?

Will you accept Rapunztroll broppy bc that's what I spent like 3 hours doing

Edit: forgot to make them blush!!!!!!!! AAA i sleep now

Based on an episode of The Beat Goes On

[bunnieswithknives]

OK JUST A LITTLE THING BECAUSE IM INSANE @cubbihue

Song: Plastic by Cheekface

[dykesevika]

BEAR SEVIKA BEAR SEVIKA BEAR SEVIKA BEAR SEVIKA BEAR SEVIKA BEAR SEVIKA. SEVIKA WITH BROWN BEAR EARS AND BROWN BEAR TAIL GRHRGRYRYRH

bears are one of my favorite animals :3

Men DNI

[risingsunresistance]

wha... hey for those of you who have told me you've never played minecraft, or you have bedrock but not java... minecraft is. on sale? this thing NEVER goes on sale-

[spacedlexi]

"sounds nice... having a partner"

[arsenicflame]

It's a time-honoured tradition- every time Sam comes across Izzy (and Ed) in their travels, he asks Izzy to marry him. And every time, Izzy turns him down.

At this point, Sam is asking more for the sake of it than any belief Izzy will ever say yes, a remnant of childhood dedication touched with 30 years of heartbreak and regret- though even now, a small part of him still holds out hope. Sam's promises have only got more extravagant over the years, from a job as his first mate, to a captaincy, a fleet at his command, a whole fucking island if that's what Izzy wants- but he knows it isn't though, not really. If Izzy was ever going to agree to marry him, to leave his life and go with Sam, it wouldn't be for anything Sam could offer him. Izzy never did care for flashy shows of wealth, for a ship or to be captain. The only thing that ever mattered to him was loyalty given, and loyalty shown in return. 

It all comes to a head after Stede left and came back, after Izzy lost a toe, lost his leg. Sam hasn't seen him since before things with Ed started to really slide off the rails, before stress permanently set into the lines of Izzy’s face. So, when he sees a dishevelled man with a hoof for a leg in a no-name port, he doesn't even consider the idea that he might know him. It's only when he turns towards him, and Sam catches a glance at those oh too familiar tattoos, he realises this is Izzy, his Izzy, that stands before him.

Knowing Izzy's discomfort with pity, he doesn't treat him any differently than he would in years gone by, positioning himself in Izzy's line of sight before approaching and sweeping him up into a bone crushing hug. 

“Israel-goddamn-Hands!” he exclaims, as Izzy grumbles back a begrudging “Samuel-fucking-Bellamy”, a tradition almost as old as their friendship itself. Izzy might not hug him back, but he can’t keep the corner of his mouth from twitching, just for a second.

(If Sam holds Izzy a little tighter and a little longer than usual, well. That's his business)

By the time Sam lets go, most of the crew has appeared in the town square, drawn in by the commotion. They may have given Izzy his leg and welcomed him as one of them, but still there’s an underlying tension, with nobody quite ready to set aside everything that happened before the Kraken. Seeing him cosying up to an unknown man sets everyone on edge, unsure whether to come to their first mate’s aid, or to assume that they've been betrayed once again.

When Ed sees that the yelling was Sam, his hand goes tense where it's held in Stede's. He knows the routine, has seen it more times than he can count, but as he watches them part he realises that this is the first time in a long time he's unsure of what Izzy's response will be.

Knowing that something’s different, knowing that Izzy's feeling vulnerable already, Sam doesn't go for the same flashy proposal he’s been giving for years. He doesn't promise Izzy the world, he doesn't cause a scene (or, any more of a scene than he already has, anyway). He looks at the fractured man in front of him, takes his face in his hands, and says the exact same thing to him he said when they were little more than boys. “Israel, I have to ask you. I know what you'll say, but I have to try. Come with me. Marry me and sail away with me. I'll keep you safe”

And Izzy… hesitates. He glances over at Ed, at Stede, and says to Sam “...We’re staying in port for a week. Ask me again then”

That's the moment Sam knows there is something deeply, horribly, wrong. He's not just looking at an Izzy who got seriously injured in a fight and is struggling to cope, this is something so much bigger than that- and that Ed has something to do with it. Izzy wouldn't even be considering leaving if he didn't. Whether it was negligence or something more sinister, Sam doesn't yet know, but he intends to find out.

[dukeofthomas]

I can't find it now but there's a post about suspension of disbelief and how it's broken when the story starts trying to excuse it. "character gets knocked unconscious for hours but there's no further issues from this" okay 👍 "and actually this makes perfect sense because of this and that" um no it doesn't why are you lying to me. like i am willing to ignore the holes and the discrepancies!! all you need to do is let me and not bring unnecessary attention to it!!!

and all that is my issue with the whole robin child soldier argument. like i am willing to ignore it i am willing to engage with the fantasy literally all you need to do is NOT try to convince me that Actually It's Fine Because They Want To Do It or whatever. like literally just shut up about it and i can engage with the fantasy!!

[aq2003]

really love how throughout a lot of smith and jones martha is really skeptical and apprehensive towards ten (+ one of my favorite exchanges between them - "what, people call you 'the doctor'?" "yeah?" "well, i'm not. far as i'm concerned, you've got to earn that title."), not taking everything he says at face value, even doubting the fact he's an alien until over halfway through the episode.. And like. i really truly think the thing that wins her over isn't him kissing her or any of the other insane mixed messages he manages to send, it's this scene here, where he /earns that title/ in her eyes:

(+ david's bit in the commentary, where he says: "[the doctor] has actually sacrificed himself, and - i would say, that that final act of selflessness is what finally, eventually, welds martha to him. [...] and she now returns it. she returns that act of selflessness.")

this is what their relationship is built on. it isn't about martha being the second-best replacement to rose or a rebound or whatever. bc it isn't really about rose. it's about doctor-in-training martha meeting someone (quite literally, "the doctor") whose ideals she aspires to, and doing her best to be the same person to him as he is to everyone else. it's about ten in return admiring her intelligence and inquisitiveness and how she cares for human life, recovering his compassion, letting himself lean on her for support - and then remembering at the most inopportune moments that he's supposed to not need anyone and be on his own forever. And around in their little nightmare loop they go where they save each other over and over until one of them breaks

i've seen ppl look at martha and go "why she does she admire/why is she so in love with ten if he acts like that to her?" or something along those lines and like. it's not just the fact she's in love with him (in fact i'd argue she actively tries to push it aside post-gridlock). it's the fact that she knows he's the kind of person to put everyone else's lives/well-being over his own. she trusts him to save her when she's in trouble even though it's been like two days at most that they've known one another bc she recognizes that same "deep all-encompassing drive to help others" in him. and she also recognizes, much much earlier than him, that he needs someone to save him, especially when he's unwilling to save himself. and yeah for a bit she thinks he returns her feelings and is just playing hard-to-get, but she realizes pretty early on that this probably isn't the case, and i think that realization fully solidifies here:

(this is when she's listening to ten talk abt gallifrey). And idk it might just be me but i think this expression isn't just her empathizing with his loss. it's also guilt, for wanting something from him that he's clearly unable to give when he's wracked with so much grief. (and you see it in the next episode, where tallulah asks if they're together and martha says for certain that they're not, and that he doesn't know about her feelings for him. she keeps everything to herself bc she now knows that when he shut her flirting down at the end of 3x01 it was the genuine reaction of someone who a) isn't interested and b) is scared of getting close with someone else again)

freema described their dynamic as "she's keener than him" and i think about this all the time. martha doesn't really take what ten throws at her. what she does instead is constantly poke holes in his already-failing front of "i will show someone the wonders of the universe so i can ignore what is wrong with me". what she does is stand up and fight him when he tries to go off on his own. what she does is put aside her well-being in favor of helping someone - just like what she saw him do for the people in the hospital when they first met. tldr, that's the doctor and his doctor and rip martha you would've loved who's gonna save u now by rina sawayama

[celestriix]

thinking about klavier gavin again because i saw someone say that the fact that he's the only prosecutor in the series who wants to find the truth and isn't insanely obsessed with winning like the other prosecutors makes him really boring

and i understand it to some extent when comparing him to other prosecutors but... Klavier Gavin??? BORING????

after playing aa4 i was OBSESSED with klavier gavin and the untouched potential of this guy

he loses his best friend/bandmate, his brother AND his mentor in the span of like a year?? i think??? which is INSANE.

there's something very tragic about klavier, a person who values finding the truth above all else, finding out that two of the people closest to him betrayed his trust and lied to him and used him for their own means AND ARE MURDERERS.

and then his mentor, a person who taught that seeking the truth is what a lawyer should do, gets murdered by a person who believes that winning in trials is the most important thing above all else WHICH IS THE SAME EXACT THING THAT KRISTOPH VALUED AS WELL !!!

this core belief of finding out the truth that klavier has, leads him to finding out about the things that daryan and kristoph did, and even though they are important to him, people he CARES about, he continues to work with apollo to see that justice is served.

and the fact that we don't get to see anything of klavier getting any closure after the events of aa4 makes me insane

we never get to see much of klavier's feelings on what happened or him fully processing the events of aa4 and that one case in aa5 and it makes me soooo upset. i wish he got more than that little cameo in aa5 and that one tiny flashback appearance in aa6.

in an alternate universe, aa4 got a true sequel that fully explored klavier's character, as well as phoenix's, klavier's, AND apollo's relationship with kristoph, and klavier's relationship with phoenix post-aa4, and also a more thought out? (for the lack of a better word) backstory for apollo, and an exploration of the jury system, and a game that ACTUALLY built upon the foundation that aa4 laid out.

and i am forever upset that we are not in that alternate universe.

[timetravellingkitty]

I'm not listening to a white person on what's racist or insensitive to brown people. read orientalism by edward said before talking to me or my son ever again

[microwave-core]

Could you write a Rika (from pokemon S/V) with AFAB reader who has major anxiety and is super nervous because it's their first time having sex with Rika? Like reader's brain is noisy and won't hush up enough to relax. Whether Rika is using a strap-on or not is totally up to you. Comfort, fluff, smut (go as nsfw as you desire) and aftercare.

um this is from august. anyways.

This is more, like, broaching the topic of your first time. It's not my best work imo but I need to set this down before I keep fiddling with it. Also the keep reading break keeps moving stop that.

So, we all know Rika fucks. Even though I've characterized her as someone who's secretly a disaster behind closed doors because fuck she loves her girlfriend, she's gotten plenty of action before getting with you.

To Rika, sex is just all about making each other feel good. She's had many partners before, a casual fling or two here and there. It's not a big deal to her, but she understands that not everyone feels that way. So when you draw boundries at touches that were too close and intimate for you to handle, she backs off, careful to not pressure you into anything you aren't alright with.

It starts with a simple make out session, her body practically glued ontop of your own on the couch. The proximity, her warmth, the tongue exploring your mouth, it's all so much, your head buzzing, above the clouds. You can't help but want it to continue forever. That is, until, you feel her hand, the one previously perched upon your hip, travel down, finding a new home on the waistband of your pants.

Rika pulls back the moment you pull your lips away from her own, face flushed, clearly nervous. It takes her a moment to realize that she took things a bit too far. She apologizes quickly, cupping your cheek gently, asking if you're alright with moving any further, and when you say no, that's that. She presses another kiss to your lips, this time chaste and quick, content to cuddle for the rest of the night (not before taking care of herself in the bathroom first).

She was dissapointed that things ended early, sure, but youre her girlfriend. Her sweet, lovable girlfriend. And the last thing she'd want to do is make you uncomfortable, push your boundries in a way you wouldn't enjoy. She gives you a bit of time, a few days or so, before bringing the topic up again, wanting to understand where you fall on all of this.

It's a simple question, really. "Why didn't you want to go any further?" No bitterness, no upset, just your girlfriend wanting to know where your boundries lie so she understands how to best navigate the intimate aspect of your relationship.

When you tell her you're a virgin, she really isn't surprised. Again, Rika's been with many people before, some who are wise beyond their years with experience and other's having none. Your shy touches whenever she was so close, the clumsiness in your actions and uncertainty of where to place your hands, it all was a give away, honestly. Not that she'd tell you, though. The last thing she wanted was to make you feel ashamed for something that really wasn't a big deal.

So she waits. She tells you as such. She'll wait for you to feel ready before trying to press forward again, but she does let you know that she'll be treating you to the best night of your life if you came around to the idea.

She doesn't show you but honestly she's so fucking excited. Being your first time? Setting the standard for any of your future partners, should you have any past her? Corrupting you? It's kinda hot to her. She wouldn't bring up the last part, though. Rika Corruption kink is real to me, but she's not going to spring that on you. Your first time should be sweet and gentle, about you and your pleasure. So she'll reserve that idea for when she gets off on her own.

The day you tell her that you think youre ready, she is over the moon. It's a little sudden on your part. You had been thinking about it for days, and wanting nothing more than to feel her all over you, over the most intimate parts of you, but were just too anxious to actually make the push. What if it wasn't all that you thought it would be? What if you messed something up? What if you did something really gross and it turned Rika off so much that she didn't even want to touch you? But your want eventually outweighs your worries.

It's a stammered confession, holding her hand, playing with her fingers as you get the words out, embarrassment burning up your face, thoughts going a million miles per minute, but you try your best to focus on Rika, the way her face brightens up at your words, the way she grabs your hand and squeezes it tight, her lips pressing on your forehead, the reassureance in her voice as she tells you that tonight she'll take care of you. Pamper you like you deserve.

Maybe telling her in the morning was the wrong decision, because you go through the rest of the day completely distracted, overthinking and worrying about what will happen when you get home, yet still excited at the prospect, left pressing your thighs together while trying to get any meaningful work done.

You get home before her that night, as you typically will, trying to act normal. Make some dinner, get cleaned up, don't overthink ever little thing. Normal nightly activites. Your heart stammers in your chest as you move around your apartment, but practically stops when the front door creeks open, a call of "I'm home!" echoing through the halls. She finds you quickly, pulling you into her arms, kissing you gently, complaing about the work day. You mention dinner, her face brightens, quickly returning to the kitchen to eat. Your normal nightly routine.

Rika's demenour is normal, but youre fidgeting and anxious. Bouncing your leg as you eat, trying to ignore the heated pit in your stomach. You can't think straight, simply nodding and humming along as Rika talks. How can you focus on her words at a time like this? She notices, obviously. She knows you, although anyone could look at you and tell something was up just by looking at you.

You're snapped out of your thoughts when her hand touches your thigh, not heated, just gentle, enough to make you look at her in the eyes for the first time since this morning, worry evident on her face.

"Do you still want to go through with this?" It's soft and quiet, for your ears only. You can only nod, placing your hand on top of her own. You were ready for this, you were tired of running away from what you wanted from overly anxious thoughts. A smile works it's way back onto her face, soft on the surface, but laced with an unmistakble heat, quickly standing up, ready to wisk you away to the bedroom. As much as she'd like to take you, taste you, right then and there, she was going to give you a proper first time.