#sorry if im missing something important
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I have many thoughts on the anarchist/anti-authoritarian themes on QSMP but I just feel perpetually out of the loop because everything important happens while I'm asleep
(Well except the debates, I guess, but oh boy they were a struggle to watch)
My under-informed takes are basically
a) the pre-election arc era is a great demonstration of a lot of anarchist principles, because it's pretty much everybody working together to survive and thrive under hostile circumstances and with no real help from the authorities (and I really do appreciate Bad and Gegg for pointing out how this was evidence that they didn't need a president, even though I still think they both made a mistake participating in the elections)
b) the storylines from the election arc onwards are a great demonstration of how authorities can disrupt the solidarity between their subjects by giving some of them access to small amounts of power or privilege and by doing so reinforcing the normality of hierarchy and authority
It really is so unbelievably tragic to watch because it's so true to real life. Similar things have happened so many times over the course of history and these tactics are so effective at destroying resistance movements. (Literally the principle of Divide and Conquer goes back to at LEAST ancient Rome, which is where that phrase comes from. (... Actually I just checked and Wikipedia claims it actually comes from Philip II of Macedon, the father of Alexander the Great, not sure if that's true.))
c) I have no idea what to do about the situation right now. I would probably need to watch Forever to get a better idea, but also there's a language barrier there so I would definitely miss things orz
I straight up had a post that I started writing on like Tuesday or Wednesday about how they shouldn't overthrow Forever, not because it would lead to "anarchy" (that would be a good outcome in fact) but because it wouldn't; it would just be a distraction from the fight against the Federation, and a revolt against Forever would only lead to conflict between the islanders, which would only help the Federation maintain its power over them. He'd just be the scapegoat.
But if Forever is committed to his role as the president, if he's commissioning another prison?? (Is that a real thing or are people just saying shit?) idk, man... That sounds bad if it's true
I still don't think overthrowing him in particular would do anything, though. I feel like every route here just leads to a more divided and more easily manipulated community, unless they're able to convince everyone, ideally also Forever, to focus on resisting the Federation. But at this point I doubt that's even possible. The Federation would have to play its cards so unbelievably badly for that to happen.
Unless they can find some way to pressure the Federation; unless they can figure out what its goals and priorities are, and then disrupt those directly.
#qsmp#sorry if im missing something important#i really just do not have the time or energy to watch all the vods#and i know how unreliable recaps and liveblogs can be especially when it comes to nuance
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it's like, i really do enjoy most of the bats as characters and i really do like a lot of their comics. but also i am sooooo tired of them being hailed as better than literally everyone else. both in fanon but also in comics (modern ones are esp egregious imo, like WHAT was that shit about batman and the joker being the most dangerous men on the planet. hi. have you heard of lanterns? speedsters? supers? actually if i keep listing groups who could kick batman's ass we'd be here all day). they're like kudzu. that shit needs to stay in its native environment (funky little neo-noir detective stories) and stop being an invasive species (putting down everyone else to make them seem cooler). put bruce wayne back into a murder mystery setting that isn't about saving the world but is about saving one person or one family that no one else would've saved right now or so help me god. the whole invasive species cross contamination thing is unhealthy for both him And the other ecosystems he keeps getting transplanted into. please. it's so dark in here
#rimi talks#imo it's also like a massive escalation problem like Everything has to be huge immense world ending bullshit plots#rather than ''i am going to solve a local mystery to help local people'' things. which are important also#um. points at action comics 792. you see like superman does here? caring about one person who someone thought wouldn't matter to anyone?#sorry im just going to go on a superman tangent but ac791 and 792 both absolutely gutted me and everyone should read them#both are pretty standalone and both ruined me#one is about something tragic that happened when clark was in high school#and just wanted to try and help a girl everyone was bullying for being fat. and they became friends and had a good time at a dance together#and then the second one is about him noticing the chatty guy who runs the newspaper stand where he stops sometimes is missing#and then just stopping at nothing to try and find him. even though he's someone he barely knew outside of being a regular at his stand#and it just really got me. my god. more of that pleaseeeeeee 😭😭😭😭💕💕💕💕
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Vaggie: Alastor can you watch the eggs their being....eggs and I have to- just take them off my hands
Alastor: ooo i certainly will....
Vaggie:.....in a peaceful manner. Alastor.
Alastor: mmm well that's less fun, also why should I watch them?
Vaggie: well you're going to some meeting and I have to help charlie-
Alastor: didn't she excuse you from your duties for today?
Vaggie:...why would she- why would I ask for that??
Alastor: why, you have to come to this meeting to my dear!
Vaggie: no I dont?? It's an overlord meeting I'm not an overlord-
Alastor: but you are!
Vaggie: if anything charlie should probably be going with you rather then me- what what??
Alastor: I'll explain on the way! *just fucking leaves*
Vaggie: wha- alastor! Alastor I swear to the lord you better explain!
Alastor: hmmm, well you're an overlord my dear I don't think there's anything else TO explain
Vaggie: right...but I'm NOT an overlord??
Alastor: I beg to differ, I knew there was something off about you but couldn't place it until Charlie said something
Vaggie: Charlie- what does- okay you know what? You're insane. I'm going to go talk to Charlie myself!
Alastor grabs her shirt collar like a kitten: ah-ah-ah you have a meeting to attend my dear! It's be bad manners if you skipped it, whoch I suppose you've been skipping them for the past 5 or so years?
Vaggie: No, I haven't! and let go of my you asshole!
Alastor: hmmm no I don't think I will~ come on now! We're already half way there!
Vaggie: ugh, at least tell me how you and xharlie think I'm an overlord- which I'm NOT by the way!
Alastor: well...do you remember that sinner you saved? The one you had a slat with and ended uo teaching self defense?
Vaggie: how do you-....ah, charlie- what does that have to do with anything??
Alastor radio noise of displeasure: well, APPARENTLY they told more demons, you DO remember the large influx of demons who came to you right?
Vaggie: I.....I um....yeah....
Alastor: well they said they owed you 'favors' correct?
Vaggie:....fuck.
Alastor: they gave you their souls until said favor is called upon! You not using it has apparently given you the reputation of a very lenient overlord, a defensive and protective one at that! So more people cane to you, you trianed them in defense and most gave you their souls so you could call upon them for a favor at a time of your choosing!
Vaggie: going through the 5 stages of grief trying to process it all
Alastor: On top of that, the other overlords seem to be threatened by the fact you have so many souls and demons going to you WILLINGLY, you not showing up to meetings and beong little morningstars girlfriend doesnt help that either!So this will be a fun first meeting~
Vaggie: no no no no no nope! Alastor, you let me go right this second! I am not- no! Alastor! Alastor!!!
Zestial: Alastor and...oh the defensive Overlord nice to meet you again nd to finally meet you
Vaggie: ¿¡Quién diablos es esta araña joder!? (Who the hell is this spider fuck!?)
Part 1 | Part 2(here!!) | Part 3
#hazbin hotel#hazbin hotel au#hazbin hotel vaggie#hazbin hotel charlie#hazbin hotel alastor#chaggie#accidental overlord vaggie au#i feel like Al would be pissed at vaggie knowing charlie told him#he lieks to seem mroe powerful/high and mighty and he cant bw that if she knows he gets info form other people#hes very smug at Vaggies panic though#charlie meanwhile already misses her girlfriend#Nifty throwing herself off the roof doesnt help#hazbin hotel overlord#the egg boizs are having a grand old time though#i used google translate for the Spanish part im sorry if its wrong-#i wanted vaggie to say “who the hell is this spider fuck!?” but everytime i tried it always ended up as something different#i tried for like 1p minutes#i THINK i got it down but im not sure if the '!?' changes any words/symbols#translator says it does but im not 100% how right it is so- if its not that then its 'who the hell is this fucking spider' which still work#not to important i guess lol#diablos actually mgiht mean devil and inferno hell but uh....its- its fine#any spanish speakers feel free to correct me😅
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what draws you back to your country what draws you back to your land when i was a kid i told myself if i ever left iran i'd never go back 2 years into living in the UK i started looking at news on iran again 10 years in and i visited it for the first time again and today i heard an iranian mother talk in farsi to her child on the train to london the way my mother used to and i wanted to cry i wanted to ask her whether they're still cutting the mountaintops whether the lakes are still drying today i showed the person i was with pictures of waterfalls and palaces and forests and snow-white north something odd pulls me back with increasing force i can't ignore it ever again
#i just dont know how else to tell you everything !!! santoor from a different room the large family gathering the black tea with saffron#drank out of delicate glass and gold vessels cold marble on hot nights big stars big rivers big mountains#visible from busy tehran roads the ease of conversation tension eased by sarcasm tall tall cliffsides you drive by#rushing to put on headscarves before the head teacher comes in a rave by the base of damavand massive sun pastel purple skies#disjunct architecture trucks on road sides with fresh fruits pomegranates watermelons oranges everywhere#the smell of golpar on tangerines beautiful girls in tehran holding hands bautiful boys in kermanshah speaking kurdish the janky#cars on the verge of breakdown held together by love caspian sea lighting up in spring staying up into the morning on noruz#my friends uncle sang and played setar his son played the violin a little fear a lot of love remnants of something#grand carved into the cliffside everything feels bigger taller the landscape swallows you it smells like#illegally imported wine and orange blossoms and auntie's tahchin soaking your eyes in warm tea when youre sick#tomatoes and salt concrete and stone something mandmade and something raw new flag old resilience#the anger getting to us bruised eyes big grin all i know is the north i feel sorry my mother asks if id be okay#if they got a place in tajikistan we love each other enough dont we? when we look in the mirror we see each other. theres a love letter#across the border and it says I MISS YOU IM GLAD YOURE DOING BETTER itll never be the same im not okay with it at all there are no more#stars i miss jumping over big fires i miss our fireworks im sorry we cant be happy anymore everyone#leaves the mint and rosewater and sunlight for a reason.#it's not pride it's just generational regret
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let it be known that i love prince inigo with my whole soul. however sometimes it is SO much fun to think about owain and his two most loyal-est knights you ever seen: worst guy in the world #1 and worst guy in the world #2. i love retainer inigo and severa so much. retainers who bully you and make fun of you and trash on you but they’d leave behind everyone and everything they ever knew to follow you and protect you in a whole new universe. they love you so much that they’d swear allegiance to total strangers but that loyalty pales in comparison to what they’d do for you. and they were all lovers!!!!!!!
#ann plays awakening#awakening trio#sometimes i forget owain is literal royalty and like#in the bad timeline hes probably like. the second most important person there?? unless luci has a sibling#obviously she’d need her own retainers but unfortunately i am thimking awakening trio thoughts. i miss. i love them in any form#that they are handed to me#i love them as best friends. as forced circumstance allies to family. as lovers.#i know i said lovers in this post but im not sure they’d ever label it as that#to me its very much ��its not exactly romantic but its too intense to be platonic’#what i am getting at is queer platonic awakening trio btw. in case that wasnt obvious#like no matter who they are or where they go they are eachothers people dude. like literally do not separate#anyways im gonna be thinking long and hard about who should be everyones parents in this timeline#i have what i call my ‘main’ pairings and thats what i use for most of my headcanons (ex prince inigo)#but i’d like a completely separate one for owain retainer trio#i think im pretty set on fred!severa#i couuuldddd pick fred!inigo which i do think is SUPER compelling as well but something about freddy!severa… also shes so cute as a brunette#like sorry… shes just so beautiful#ive been having a lot of thoughts aboht tharj!inigo and i need to figure out if thats current bias talking or if im cooking with that one#i got no idea who owain’s second parent should be. robin maybe? idk#i mean his second parent isnt quite as impactful in regards to trio dynamics in this case just because he’s always the prince but. idk#i really like the idea of half plegian owain but i ALWAYS run half plegian owain cuz im always pairing lissa with robin or henry so its like#this isnt new 😭😭😭 but god. PLEGIAN OWAIN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!#hm. though. hear me out. manakete owain???????????????? ehhh????#sorry. idk. i love how changing the parents of the second gen can change their characterization. its like my favorite thing ever#i think its why im so attached to all of them. theres always new things to explore with them!!! its so much fun!!!!!!#graaarfggjjjhhhhhhn!!!!
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just a few javieran horse headcanons because i like them a normal amount
branwen
- tall AND fat. kieran makes sure he’s always fed (maybe even accidentally a teensy bit overfed. just because kieran can’t help but indulge him when he butts him with his head or nuzzles at his pockets when he knows there’s treats in there. but never too much because ‘obesity is a problem, even in animals !’). probably about 17hh, taller than average for a kentucky saddler but nothing too big. especially since kieran himself is quite tall
- VERY well-tempered, both naturally, as well as because kieran has literally made him bulletproof. bagged him, blanketed him, stood, jumped, backflipped onto and off of him. this kindly gentleman of a horse only spooks when he wants to be bratty specifically.
- i think he’s about 6 or so, came from the stables kieran worked at after being orphaned, he was just a colt when kieran was just a kid. kieran learned how to birth foals quickly, and branwen happened to be one of them. with the way that they fell in love with each other and the way that branwen whinnied and pranced up to the fence when kieran came back to buy him after the army didn’t work out, you’d think that horse was born just for him.
- his favourite treats, in order, are rutabaga (kieran’s secret for branwen’s glossy coat. also why he’s kinda fat.), boiled potatoes mixed into his oats, apples, and fresh greens. he’s simultaneously incredibly easy to please because of the simplicity of the latter parts of his favourites list and also very needy and complicated because kieran so loves to make his pony happy with his absolute favourite treats, so he tries his very best to get branwen’s eccentric tastes pleased once falling into the VDL’s.
- i always say “a horse’s favourite thing to do is hurt itself”, and i think this statement holds relatively true for branwen as well, though there’s a 25% chance that he’s actually hurt, a 50% chance that he’s only mildly injured or spooked and he’s playing it up to get kieran to dote on him, and a 25% chance that he will protect kieran with his life when they’re in a dire situation (see: snake on the ground or gunfire nearby. or even god forbid a spare tumbleweed find it’s way rolling nearby.) despite kieran’s last wish being his horse getting injured. branwen thinks that he’s gotta be The Man and protect his dad sometimes. it does not help in any situation ever whatsoever.
- branwen is the PERFECT companion for a trail riding date. he’s settled, calm, has a great gait, and as a gelding, truly is not worried about other horses being “faster” than him, so he never gets rowdy nor has any problems when partner riders/horses crowd him. kieran is allowed to ask for as many kisses as he pleases because branwen will never jump when javier’s gold-tipped boots poke him in the side and boaz irritatedly flicks his flank with his tail. truly a goated wingman. also never complains about long rides, and enjoys being out of camp with his rider for as much as physically possible for both of them, so he’s never barnsour in either direction.
boaz
- as an american paint, he’s naturally short and stocky. saddle ends up being a bit loose, though, as javier isn’t as dedicated to keeping him perfectly fed or groomed. he loves him, sure, but horses are somewhat of tools to him, so he kinda does slightly more than bare minimum to keep him kempt and healthy. around 14.5hh, slightly shorter than average and quite dense with muscle
- temperamentally a bit volatile. this horse has just as much drama as his rider, if not a little more. doesn’t like something ? ridden too long ? that stick looks too much like a snake ? hasn’t spent enough time with kieran that day ? he will snort and grunt and bunny hop if javi isn’t on him, and shudder hard enough the saddle shakes underneath him if he is. boaz likes to please his rider, but he also demands pleasure himself, and has no issue with “accidentally” placing a hoof on his owners nice, intentionally clean boots, and subsequently slowly leaning more and more of his weight onto it when he doesn’t immediately get what he wants. bratty pony. generally, he keeps javier safe, though, when it comes down to it.
- around 5 years old. after dutch found javier trying to steal chickens the first time they met, he soon took him back to that ranch and their first take as gang leader and member was a 1 year old grey paint colt for javi to train and subsequently ride. until he was rideable, javier rode a morgan that was formerly hosea’s, named carolina, while he lead boaz everywhere behind him.
- favourite treats, in order, are corn cobs (especially dried), prickly pear fruit AND cactus, sugar cubes, and sliced apples. will force javier to share his maiz with him. javier has always sliced his apples up since he was a colt, not only because javi simply finds comfort in toying with his knife, but also because boaz will not eat them otherwise. javi will also cut all of the spines off of the cactus before letting boaz eat them.
- in terms of injury, boaz is the most dramatic tank on the planet. this horse could arthur morgan-style run face first into a tree and then fall off a cliff and walk it off. but not before he gimps and limps and whines and teeth grinds his way into javier leading him instead of riding him for the next mile or two. once kieran started taking care of him, there is also a 25% chance of boaz faking a terribly painful injury just to get kieran to dote on him.
- kinda the worst wingman ever LMFAO easily annoyed, easily aroused, easily offended, and as a stallion, HAS to walk in front of the “herd” (his rider’s boyfriend and his horse). pins his ears back, smashes into personal space, flicks branwen with his tail (and preferably kieran, if he can reach him) even sometimes will nip at branwen if the latter tries to calmly make this date a date and not a life or death race (whoever loses, their dad is gay) and walk side-by-side to aid their riders’ hand holdings. will make executive decisions via stopping or veering off for fresh green grass beside the trail, will at points actively attempt to shudder javier out of his saddle (has succeeded once when javi was distracted by a story being excitedly told by kieran), and will also spook and take off running so fast javier thinks it must have broken his neck from the velocity. generally makes trail rides a living hell, but kieran finds it charming, and it makes for some cute shoujo-style “omg … *reaches out to help you up after your horse bucks you off because he saw a log that looked nothing at all and everything like a cougar and pink and white soft bubbles surround me* are you okay ? here, let me help.” moments. maybe some day boaz will be allowed off of the national american terrorist list written by javier “rizzless rider” escuella
ok im tired and that’s all i can think of please enjoy and feel free to contribute 👍 i love them so bad im gona cry
#i’m at the gym for the first time since my od and ouugghh i’m so emotional#it’s 2am aslo. ouu they haunt me#i love thinking about them being silly little domestic cowboys#and just going on dates and riding their little horsies#my fav horse girls !1!!11!1!1!! even tho javi isn’t a horse girl really but in my heart he is cuz kieran loves trail rides#and so javieran go on trail rides a lot as well as “’riding into town’ as an excuse to get out of camp together#javier is so good at listening he truly learned the art of shutting up when he couldn’t speak english and also was learning in america that#he really should trust sparingly because the new world was so incredibly hostile to him from the start simply for being who he was and where#he came from#so he’s such a great active listener and while it’s kinda a trauma response it also works very well for javierans relationship because kiera#has never in his life ever felt important or safe or like anything he said mattered to anyone so perfect brilliant ‘i’m listening go on’ jab#vier makes kieran feel so loved and heard in ways he’s never ever in his life experienced and javi takes them fishing and riding and to the#stables constantly because he’s LISTENED to kieran and kieran never has to ask to do something he wants to do because javi’s already HEARD h#im (and he also knows kieran would never ask for anything first ever because he never feels like he deserves anything at all. nor even feels#safe enough to dare).#and javier gets his cake and eats it too when kieran asks and asks and asks because kieran cares about EVERYTHING right from the getgo beau#se unlike javier kieran has been entirely unable to turn his heart off at all in any capacity so he loves and loves ans loves against his wi#ll so javier has been so adored from the start because kieran can’t HELP it so he gets him gifts and learns things for him and javi just as#much never has to ask for much other than courage from kieran. ever. can anyone hear me is anyone lidtening ouuu#ok enough sorry they make me so emptipnal#rdr2#red dead redemption 2#javieran#kieran duffy#javier escuella#text#hero's talking to himself again#hero’s waxing poetry again#i think that was the tag ¿#im gonna throw up i miss them so bad they’re everything to me oouuggyuuuy
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What type of 'me' do you like? I'll stick to that~
HAPPY BIRTHDAY @amugoffandoms!!!!!!!
#.mimiming ❜#milgram#yuno kashiki#kashiki yuno#milgram project#sigh. i partly miss my editing blog now but not rlly#SORRY I MEANT TO DRAW YOU SOMETHING SO PRETTY BUT UM. ar t block and what not <///3#happy belated (its still the 12th here but im not sure what day its for you so??) birthdayyyyyy#ik we dont talk much but youre a super nice and important friend to me!!!!!!
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Share Mine notes please I beg (and on the arakawa fam if you have the timefkfd)
forgive me if these are messy as all fuck i'm not good at making notes BUT here's everything i generally keep in mind when drawing mine and hijikata + the reference sheets i look at when drawing them :)
arakawa family notes + references below:
(more notes about aoki + sawashiro's faces ft. ikumi here)
#snap chats#edit: THANK YOU TEN FOR FINDING MY ASK FOR ME LITERAL LIFE SAVER !!!!!!#you POSITIVELY HAVE TO click these open to see anything#it probably wouldve been worth something if i actually /drew/ them on these sheets too to demonstrate the notes but..#please let it slide we've seen me draw them all plenty of times.. except mitsu sorry king you'll get your time i promise#i tried to just keep this General to the face but like. at some point i said 'ok maybe its important to mention how i do hair'#i have plans to play all 326 shadow the hedgehog endings and when i saw i got this ask i JUST finished one#so this was def a great break from that for a while LMAO#anyway.. i hope these are helpful in some way#they were fun to make regardless :)#i love how i made notes for ichi even tho. i dont draw ichi the same LMAO BUT IT IS STUFF I THINK ABOUT SO#WORTH WRITING#if you have any questions or want me to explain anything more i'd be happy to do so !#i always feel like im missing points whenever im explaining stuff so im forcing myself to just post these before i go insane#i have about 316 more endings to get through after all....
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Im so sorry i played Our Life: beginnings and always and not only has it sucker punched me with bittersweet feelings of life and change and relationships but its also thrown me into brain rot hell of it. Im sorry if ocean boy cove floods your feed get it? Its a pun
#t-n talks#personal#our life: beginnings & always#olba#i love him so much i love them all so much i need to replay with all the dlcs and get shiloh to come to our wedding#because i named a fosh after him in like step 2 or 3 and i missed him and i dont care if he lied to us im sorry shiloh#come baaack#but also baxter what happened baxter we missed you so much youre important to us youre important to meeeeeee#everyones my friend now how do i have jeremy at my wedding but not shiloh? jeremy you should have made shiloh suffer tooooo#im so glad i got jeremy though god i felt for him so bad like genuinely what was wrong while he was mean to us#i just wanted to be nice and friends but also dont be mean to cove and im so glad hes mellowed out a bit hes really a good kid sometimes#i love them all so much dereeeekkkkk hes such a good friend god hes SUCH A GOOD FRIEND im screaming#and baxter baxter baxter baxter sometimes i dont think hes in love with us but in love with our relationship but also like#i wouldnt mind us three being closer because youre fucking important to me baxter just like jeremy#youre all part of this found family gay as shit now if i can be adopted then that means i can adopt you too!!!#god but seriously? like i expected to cry because of relationship love drama at first not because i was having#complicated feelings about being adopted and my relatiinship with my sister god ive never had an older sister really#and my siblings and i arent super close but im adopted and i dont think ive ever wanted something more than this family#this game man i just god my fiance was like “i dont think this game was meant to be so deep/intense” but like its a visual novel#novels are meant to invoke feelings and thoughts and discussion and reflection at least thats what i believe every story has a purpose#its up to us to figure out what its purpose is maybe not in general but to us what can we take away from it and god#it makes me want to hold onto my friendships tightly and reach out to everyone i knew/know#i have too many tags on here because of brain rot but i love this game and im so excited for the next one and i would love to download#like my log of the entire game so that i can recap everything at like my leisure#just cause im not gonna remember all my choices and stuff
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helloo, i was wondering does anyone here understand how ELMS works and could explain it to me? because i don’t really understand how that works 🫠
ooooooh!! i'll try my best to write some basics and pls someone fill in what i missed or if i said something wrong? 🥰 (this is all just based in what ive learned from watching this season so i may be very wrong)
welllll so basically it's a form of endurance racing, meaning the races are much longer than you'd typically see in for example f1 & that they're limited by time instead of laps like in f1. to account for that, the teams have several drivers sharing the same car (only one in the car at the time) so you don't have to drive for too many hours in a row! though most elms races are still kinda considered short or the endurance version of f1 sprints since they're "only" four hours long (in comparison to wec (world endurance championship), which are at least like six hours and up to 24).
elms is short for "european le mans series", and it's inspired by the 24 hours of le mans (one of the most iconic races in the world). there are three (four???) categories of cars competing at the same time, so even though the cars in different categories are on track at the same time, they don't compete against each other (only against the cars in their own category).
you can watch the races on youtube, but i suggest also having their website nearby because you're gonna want to watch which car has made how many stops, which driver has driven which stint, and if your fave is in the car atm !!!
#sorry for comparing to f1 if you dont watch that hsdkfhdfjh#im very tired so sorry if i dont make any sense or if i missed something important#pls feel very free to send another ask if i was unclear or if you have other questions !!! <33#asks!#anon!
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sorry to everyone who's been missing me/waiting for something from me, i've been slipping in and out of depressive fog for a week or two (and in general have experienced significantly worse depression than normal for a couple years, but that’s another story)
i long to get back, too; a lot of things to read and ideas to write and people to talk to. love y'all, take care
#signed: vika's ghost#also i've caught a cold so there's that too#terribly sorry for being overdramatic i'm just... tired of being tired and i wanted to talk about it a little bit#it's very important for me to talk about everything that's wrong with me. i tend to avoid that but now i'm trying to learn and to make peace#creative drive and ability to hold thought-out conversations keep slipping out of my graps and it kinda hurts more#— in a good cathartic sort of way but painful nonetheless — to remember what they felt like at all#i miss wanting to work on my wip and i miss having the attention span to write out headcanon and i miss having headcanons#and i miss talking to my fandom friends#(i did it just last week but i already miss it. it's one of the things i'd like to be able to do every day)#and i miss the ability to connect with art and i miss the ability to focus on written word and i miss commenting#and i miss discussing ideas and i miss interacting and i miss having fun. god i just miss having fun.#kp my apologies for not making much progress on bb&b; myself my apologies for not writing any of my other wips or outlines or posts;#da gc gang my apologies for not following up on any of the things; every fic writer whose work ended up in my to-read pile IM SORRY#jack & kp specifically i love your stuff#also jack my apologies for taking a While; & the rd gc apologies for never writing out any of the cool au thoughts i'd had after some point#really,i've been meaning to. everything requires way too much effort. everyone is so fun and i miss having fun#take care,remember me fondly,i'll be back,please stand by#if tomorrow morning i find this embarrassing i'll chalk it up to a fever or something.#idc i'm allowed to have it. world won't blow up if i'm embarrassing on the internet once or twice or honestly even forever#vikarambles#vent
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danganronpa is so funny because i have to assume the pitch was something like "a visual novel mystery/horror game featuring sixteen students who attend a super select private school because they are the best in the entire country at their craft" but they REALLY honed in on the "mystery/horror" aspect and not so much the "super select private school" aspect because they did fuck all with that concept
#danganronpa#there are so many characters that exist in danganronpa where i can change their talent and the only thing affected is their execution#like yeah#sure. nagito. makoto. hajime. shuichi. kiibo. kaede. umm#uhhh. hmmmmmm.#um . Uh. sorry guys. give me a second#like is it so hard to make mahiru (ultimate PHOTOGRAPHER) important in a trial#when was kokichi's talent even remotely relevant#im probably missing something i havent played these games in forever
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procrastination is starting to have its consequences finally
#on my friends living room floor they love together but one of them has been london for weeks or maybe months#to be with her love. im on a foam mattress from one of their beds next to a glass bottle of water opened by one of them#in a mug given to me by another. the weather felt like my childhood today and it also felt like 2 years ago.#(put space in the heavens Einstein's idea and hes your friend too so nothing to fear) around the table they drank and laughed and i thought#i hope you keep growing so full with the love you receive . i hope your appetite becomes insatiable from how used to it you are#and i know youre all leaving soon but i hope one day you miss this and that youll be happy you miss it#its worth missing i think#i thought he didnt care but he said after exams hes going walk around this area over and over#(this is near where he lived and where we visited almost daily for a year)#(hed come across the bridge on a lake)#we went where she used to live and at the entrance a fox sat calmly. it just yawned and stared.#it felt important somehow. i think maybe their impressions of me will never be close to how i feel inside but i think#i love them enough for that not to matter. i dont think theyll ever know this. i dont think if they did it would change much.#and seeing them smile makes my heart glow anyway. today i tried their malaysian tea the ginger burned my throat#they warmed my heart. hes going to canada soon and hes going to the US soon and shes going everywhere soon ill never understand#how were supposed to live with memories and with seperation and with the past but we do it anyway so i think it doesnt matter much#i wanted to write a poem for the lab rats with the fibre optic wires lit with blue forcing them to turn around and around#something about how im sorry that the two photon arrays burned the inside of your brain. im sorry about the sharp points of multielectrode#arrayes. im sorry about everything we do to you. she asked to see me tomorrow. im trying to have self control but i miss her so awfully#last night my friend talked to me and i updated on everything that happened with love and the lack of it and she just started laughing#and she told me about the same thing from her side. and she told me about how she loved london because she would walk the streets#and she felt like the people were her. and her eyes would go over the people and the bag of bagels and the construction men they probably#have a kid at home maybe shes a daughter. this kid is crying for her mother and the building you just walked past caused#blisters and pain and people died in it and very likely people were born in it. we talked for hours and i felt like#i was holding her hand just like that time she held mine watching a horror film. i love her so much#my friend is a genius and i remember her picking up the charms of my phone and staring at the leaf hanging from them. shes side stepping to#music drinking dangerous cider and cocktails from a movie and chit chatting with billionaires and undergrads#i love her dearly. his head covered in electrodes. she tells me about a syrian guy shes in love with and she says#what you feel and what i feel is like cocaine. ive tried a lot of fucking cocaine.#she says ive reminded her of what living actually feels like and to never put energy into someone who doesnt see me this way.
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i am having a great time here on life dot com
#/s#i only ate a scrambled egg today; i couldnt finish it and i feel sick#something else happened today that just showed how this girl is even more manipulative. how did you turned out like this.#or maybe you were ALWAYS like this and youre just showing your true nature now? how i didnt realized this before? we were friends for years#and honestly at this point i would say whatever ruin your life; nobody is going to stay that long around you like we did.#but you have A WHOLE ASS CHILD. A 4 NEARLY 5 MONTHS OLD BABY THAT DEPENDS TOTALLY ON YOU!!!!#STOP BEING SO SELFISH!!!! AT LEAST THINK ABOUT THE SON YOU CLAIM TO LOVE!!!!#maybe im exaggerating but i feel betrayed by someone i saw as a sister + i saw her son as a nephew.#i already lost a 11 years friendship last year why is this happening to me again. and is ending in a horrible way#sorry that the rest of the group dared to still do friend stuff even after you became a mom and thus became unable to do certain things now#i *get* it; you feel envious. but we cant stop our lives just because YOURS changed. we told you multiple times we love you and your son#we love when you bring him with you because we love him; and two of us dont even like kids that much. we were excited the whole pregnancy#we supported you because we can imagine how difficult being a young; single mom is. we did that because youre important#but we committed the horrible sin of doing things without you; because you yourself said you couldnt and/or dont want to go#we committed the horrible sin of still being friends with each other and eventually bring in another friend#whom we tried for you to get along; but it didnt happened and were in the wrong for still hanging out with him.#we tried to talk about you feeling excluded from the group; but you only told us 'i dont know'; because if you directly said#'i dont like that you three have a social life together without me even when im literally unable to follow your steps now because im a mom'#you would sound extremely selfish. and you know what? you are. i get missing the stuff youre not able to do now being a mom; its normal#but its not a fucking excuse to try to destroy the rest of the group. i love how youre pretending to be the victim in this case#by saying 'oh [x] said she felt uncomfortable with me she doesnt want to be friends with us anymore :((' when its not what happened#she said the problem is YOU; not the rest of us. she told you the problems she has with you; we saw the fucking convo#and youre twisting her words to make her look like the attacker. plus trying to make us think she also wants to stop being friends with us?#literally not whats happening. you think were just going to take your word anyway and not ask her about it?#even when breaking a friendship out of nowhere is pretty important? were just going to go 'oh [x] is a bitch' without asking anything.#also we know now she has been your punching bag for so long. we saw convos and your recent attitude towards her confirm it.#anyway youre a fucking selfish manipulator who cares about things going her way only. and were seeing it now#well; i guess at least it means were aware of your true nature; even if we feel betrayed for how long you pretended towards us#things are going downwards and is literally your fault#negative
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???? I don't see what's so insane and fucked up about chainsaws originally being bonesaws. Like if your bone is infected or crushed beyond surgical reconstruction and antibiotics havent been discovered yet...ya get rid of the bone. Or ya die.
Also symphysiotomies aren't really crazier than cesarean sections, esp with what limited tools and techniques were available for either, and were only really done when a C section wasn't really a safe option. Like...it's not removing your whole pelvis, it's cutting the cartilage holding the two sides of your pelvis together to widen the birth canal. Literally...that can happen naturally if your baby is enough bigger than your pelvis or you have joint dysfunction. It's rare but still happens TODAY. Like here's a case study of it happening in 2015. And again...better than dying during childbirth. Or your baby dying. Or your baby dying and them having to do a surgical extraction anyways.
Like there's a controversial history for sure but it wasnt ever really mentioned in anything that came up with just a brief google so I don't really understand the absolute bafflement and shock and disgust. We have fancy and safe looking medical tools like bonesaws we use today, but we only have those because someone a long time ago went "huh I bet this task would be better performed by a device I could maybe invent" and then did it and it sucked so they made it better. That's fuckin cool!! Thats amazing!! So many lives have been saved!!!
Modern sized chainsaws are obviously a (distantly past) branch off - but the first chainsaws which were used for medical practices were small? Like reasonable for the very first prototype of a modern bonesaw? Just because another side branched off into tree cutting devices doesn't mean they always looked like your standard modern black + decker
this is the funniest tweet i’ve seen in months bye
#am i missing something or#pregnancy trauma birth trauma infant mortality medical phobia cw -/#ask me to tag#also snopes says the blow smoke up your ass thing is a myth#people just started saying it in the 60s just for the because#ik im probs missing some big important cws im sorry pl feel free to let me know and ill tag better in the future#med info tag#oh maybe miscarriage stillbirth cw -/ was what i was forgetting
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TOSHIZO HIJIKATA | “WHERE’S MY SAMURAI”
#ishin spoilers#spoilers#rgg#ryu ga gotoku#ryu ga gotoku ishin#yakuza series#like a dragon ishin#hijikata toshizo#yoshitaka mine#snap chats#sorry im like this#i stole this from idea my twitter mooty too im scum </3#THIS DOESNT EVEN BANGA S HARD AS MY LAST AMV its prob cause i didnt use typography this time#i was going to but like. No#i refuse to let another Silly Haha impulsive amv consume my week#plus the other one it was lyric dependent- like the lyrics were actually important#this one not so much its just vibes bro#anyway please enjoy another terrible amv#even outside of lack of typography theres just something missing#i wish i had more effects on my editing program. or like. any#i dont wanna free hand everything bro i dont have time for that#and i cant get the app everyone uses cause my phone sucks#anyways my class is starting soon so i gotta bounce#so funny im posting this today when someone rb'd my aoki amv and tagged it like. When I Rule the World Ryo Aoki Monday#not his monday anymore its mine monday girls#i promise if i ever make another amv ill do better. or a least invest in effects or smthn idk I JUST DIDNT WANNA DO TYPGRAPHY AGAIN#plus i just wanna look at him.... i dont wanna look at aoki he crusty#OK THIS POST IS DONE FR NOW BYE
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