#sorry if i haven't explained this correctly.

[funkytrashcan]

Bringing this back. 'tis the season. Go out and vote if you are able. We all love Five Pebbles for President, but you should really be voting for someone who actually exists.

and preferably for someone who won't fuck over our rights but that might just be a personal preference thing but anyways. You have a right to vote; use it.

After sweeping the election, President Five Pebbles now sits in the oval office with Vice President Looks to the Moon and secret service agents Ruffles and Ruffian. What policy will he enact first?

[ying-doodles]

// novel spoilers (chp 160) (also contains mentions of later ending spoilers)

argh, seeing lloyd be relieved that he doesn't have to use another ending spoiler so soon after #2 so that he can save up as much cp as he can while knowing that he ends up using it so frequently later on that #5 and #6 don't even get their own dedicated chapters hurts,, :(

also knowing how each ending spoiler gets more and more brutal and just how negatively it affects lloyd (looking directly at chapter 383) hurts even more- OTL

[alyssumlovesthecosmere]

So, the other day, Crash Course uploaded a video in their Religions series, about Judaism. Now, I haven't watched any video other than this one, but if this one is any metric to measure by.... well, it's bad. Really bad.

To start, the introduction starts with "shabbat toothbrushes", where John Green describes to us how (some) jews will brush their teeth on shabbat, while ensuring to not break any of the melachot, or prohibited actions. This, in my opinion, as an orthodox jew, is.... quite a framing to start with. Especially since immediately after that introduction, John Green let's us know that there are other jews! who don't do this! and just... sir, I'm an orthodox jew. Sure, I don't do follow that rule on the shabbat- sorry, the sabbath which you then explain is the shabbat to jews (the word Sabbath comes from the hebrew Shabbat), but I follow a lot of rules that folks find strange! And I do not appreciate a video talking about jews sidelining orthodox jews. Framing the video in that way is clearly an attempt to make Jews seem more "mainstream", but it erases, estranges, and (this happens more later on) villifies orthodox jews. Which isn't fair.

But we just started this 13 minute video. At this point last night, I sighed and figured this was going to be just your regular old "Orthodox Jews are strange and bad" sort of video, and resigned myself to that. And then I looked at the sections of the video. One of which included Zionism in it. And I immediately got more worried, because John and Hank donated through Project For Awesome to UNWRA which are.... very linked to Hamas, including there being evidence of UNWRA employees participating in the Oct. 7th Massacre. But okay. Maybe this video will be fine.

Spoiler alert: It wasn't. It was so incredibly bad. John Green admits at the start of the video that Judaism is complex, great! Now explain tha complexity correctly! no. So he starts off his history with... Ya'akov Avinu, sorry- Jacob. Who's a descendant of Avraham Avinu, sorry- Abraham (John uses the english names and not the hebrew one and it just bothers me). Which like... no, Jewish history starts with Eretz Yisrael, the land of Israel. In addition, a large majority of his sources are non jewish sources which is just. Why. There are so many jewish sources on Judaism!

As this is getting long, I'm gonna put a tl;dr here and then a read more cut. The tl;dr is this - the video is a horrendously western view of Judaism video, that seems to be written by non-jews who don't have any expertise in Judaism. It is filled with misrepresentation of jews, especially religious ones, is severely lacking pretty much all of jewish history, doesn't mention MENA/SWANA jews at all, and is quite frankly a disappointment. I'm mad and sad and upset and most of all disappointed with crash course for creating this video.

Still with me? great. I'm wordy and I have twelve minutes of this video to go through still. To make this a bit more organized, I'm gonna go according to the sections that John Green himself gave, and give a summary of what he said and what is wrong or misrepresented there.

The Many Versions of Judaism (aka, somehow not our history nor our story) there are a few things wrong/upsetting here. First off, as I said above, the fact that he uses the English names. Second off, the fact that he, bafflingly, starts the story with Ya'akov getting the name Yisrael, aka when Ya'akov fights with the angel. John then takes this to explain that Jews today still wrestle with Hashem in our own way, but in a... shall I say tumblr style reductionist way. Y'know, the "jews shake lemon at gd angrily behind a denny's" way. This chapter is the only one that will ever mention the ancient Israelites, and never the tie to the land of Israel itself. In addition to this, he describes Judaism as monotheistic, but that "half of religious jews today believe in some other spiritual force, and not the gd of the Hebrew Bible" which had me going what in the what. Just. No. like, sure, i'm a vaguely agnostic-atheist religious jew and uh, no? And I found his source, and well, if I had to guess - the jews who responded assumed that the god they were being asked about was the one in the xtian bible - and so answered no, while John assumed said jews meant the gd of the tanakh, aka hashem. Third, his "devil's advocate" scene is just. Once again, putting down Orthodox Jews, and compares without change Jewish Religious Institutions with Xtian ones. To quote "for a lot of jews, it's more about action than faith", I'd argue, personally, that that line is correct for most jews, as our religion is not really one of belief (orthodoxy) but of action (orthopraxy). And also, I'll paraphrase "many jewish people consider following Jewish law to be the most important thing" yes! yes we do! and not just many, most, that's! the whole! shtick! for us!! (and yes i'm aware this is a simplification). He also manages to vaguely describe Judaism as an ethnicity, and explain that some Jews are connected to the ancestral history (without explaining what that is, no connection to Israel here no sirree), which I guess is fine-ish? (it does not)

The Written Torah So here he starts off with saying that we'll focus on the torah and not the tanakh, as the torah is how we jews conceptualize our relationship to gd and each other. Except that... we also use the rest of the Tanakh for that! (minor kudos to him for saying that the tanakh was written by the ancient israelites. Just no mention of why there were ancient israelites and then we had to come back). The torah gives us most of our rules, but the tanakh expands on them, and teaches us how we choose to treat hashem, how we treat each other. When Jews say the written torah, we do oftentimes also mean the rest of the tanakh. Frankly, going through his sources, I can't figure out what source he used for this claim, except that he uses a lot of non-jewish sources (like the britannica), and very few Jewish ones which is just... why, you can clearly see these jewish sources exist, why not use them? I understand that this is meant to be lighthearted, but he compares the five books of the torah to seasons of friends, which is kinda eeeh. And added to that, his descriptor for bamidbar or numbers is "the ancient israelites wander and suffer through the wilderness" (paraphrased). First off, it was the desert, and second off this is exactly where in the torah we get all of the mitzvot and how to treat each other and hashem. This is it!! why name the book/"season" wrong?? He then continues and talks about how the themes of exile and return are common in the torah, and continue to resonate today, and yet doesn't... explain... the history of us being exiled. Instead, we take a tangent into antisemitism, specifically the plague related kind. Which... fine, I know he's got a liking for that aspect of history, but there's so much more. Of course, he also mentions that the Pope was one of the influential people who pushed back against it and... just... sigh. We're talking the catholic church here. The same catholic church WHO BLAMED JEWS FOR KILLING JESUS TILL THE NINETEEN SIXTIES. If the pope pushed back against it, it was because us jews had more value alive, not because he thought we had inherent value as people. Of course, since we're talking antisemitism, John only talks about xtian antisemitism. The "happy dhimmi" myth is alive and kicking in this video, as there is absolutely no mention of antisemitism within the non-western world. IN ADDITION, by framing the antisemitism the way he did - that the "dumb europeans" attacked the jews but their religious leaders were against it, John inadvertently erases antisemitism by non religious people, and by religious leaders. Both of which are and were alive and well.

Zionism (aka, I had to put this in here otherwise the tankies would yell at me, and I made a mess of it) And then we have this digression, which makes zero sense in the context of the story John is attempting to tell, into Zionism. There is no reason for it, and if it had to be in the video, it should have, quite frankly, gone in at the end. But that is only the start of the woes that I have to say on this section. To start, the amount of sources here are negligeble as compared to the other sections (note the numbers, all previous sources were for the other two sections)

48. Encyclopaedia Britannica | Zionism 49. University of Michigan | Zionism  50. Ben-Israel, Hedva. “Zionism and European Nationalisms: Comparative Aspects.�� Israel Studies 8, no. 1 (2003): 91–104. 51. Ghanem, As’ad. “Israel’s Second-Class Citizens: Arabs in Israel and the Struggle for Equal Rights.” Foreign Affairs 95, no. 4 (2016): 37–42. 52. Halpern, Ben (2004) [1990]. "The Rise and Reception of Zionism in the Nineteenth Century". In Goldscheider, Calvin; Neusner, Jacob (eds.). Social Foundations of Judaism (2nd ed.). Eugene, Or: Wipf and Stock Publ. pp. 94–113. 53. American-Israeli Cooperative Enterprise| Zionism: Anti-Zionism Among Jews

[copied from the source sheet]

I haven't read the sources, so I'm not going to talk about them, but the fact that only half of the sources seem to have been written by jews is... not great. At all. And then there's how John introduces and talks about the topic. John compares the themes of exile and return in the Torah and Tanakh to the narrative told by Zionists, and mentions Zionism being a political movement. All of this is correct. However, what John is very obviously missing here is the history of Jews within the land of Israel. He talks about how we wanted a state for Jews run by Jews, but doesn't explain that we wanted it in the land where we came from, a land where we have mitzvot, commandments, that are specific to it. A land that our holidays and calendar center. The fact that this is missing is one of the glaring issues in the whole video. He also mentions that Zionism views Judaism as a nationality, which is true. Judaism is viewed as a nationality in the modern sense through Zionism, but it's also a nationality, or nation, in the older sense, regardless of Zionism. In addition to that, while Zionism is the idea of having a Jewish run state for Jews, it does not preclude the existence of other, nonjewish, people in this state. Which is important for the next bit. He then adds that, quote "this is complicated for lots of geopolitical reasons, but suffice it to say, Jewish people are not the only people with roots or a current presence in the modern state of Israel." Which, I guess does mention our roots in the land, but it also completely flattens the whole story into, what feels to me, "Jews Zionists bad for wanting a state because there are other people". He then mentions the Druze and Xtian and Muslim Palestinians, which is fair but also why specifically the Druze? And if the Druze, why not also the Bedouin? Both are minority groups within Israel, and if you want to talk about minority groups, the Bedouin are equally as important for this discussion! (another friend later pointed out that the likely reason is that the pbs source John uses mentions the Druze (but as muslims, and not as their own religious group which. sigh. Druze are not Muslim), but not the Bedouin. And of course, we get a "not all jews support the zionist movement, but many do" yeah. a huge womping majority. For a reason. At the end of this section he says you can find "much much more" on the topic in the sources and I just have to raise an eyebrow, because I do not count these 6 sources as "much much more" information.

Then, finally, we're off of this ill-placed and wrongly done section, and back to actual religion things. You know. Like how John had said we'd be talking about.

The Oral Torah and the Talmud We start off strong, with an accurate description as to what exactly is the Oral Torah, and what its place within Jewish society and Judaism is. And then... John tells us that there are "two guys who started it". Huh? Who? Hillel and Shammai of course! what. so, to explain to all of you who have somehow read till here and don't know, Hillel and Shammai are just one pair in a long lineage of those who were, according to tradition, in charge of the oral torah. Even more so, they weren't the first in their generation of pairs! (this is the time known as the Zugot, or pairs). Hillel and Shammai are the seventh generation in those who lived during the time of the mishna being slowly worked on and getting codified, and Rabbi Yehuda HaNasi was the one who did all of the codification, FIVE GENERATIONS AND A TEMPLE COLLAPSE AFTER THEM. So I chose to go into the sources to figure this one out, because frankly I'm baffled. And as far as I can tell, this comes from the encyclopedia britannica (again, why) saying that Hillel and Shammai were the last of the Zugot and that they taught the Tanaim (those who ended up writing the mishna), but just. What. Why. John then continues on to explain who Hillel and Shammai are, describing them as "Shammai, the rules are rules type" and "Hillel, the gentle, caring, impossible to anger type". I just- again with the putting down of one side (the stricter side) for the not so strict side. In addition to the fact that that isn't even an accurate description. It would be more accurate to describe the divide and debate between Hillel and Shammai as realistic and unrealistic. Hillel's school of thought, also known as Beit Hillel, worked with and around torah with the understanding that those who will be following it are people, and will make mistakes and need leniency. Shammai's school of thought, known as Beit Shammai, on the other hand, wanted people to strive to following the Torah in the most idealistic way. We follow Beit Hillel nowadays because they were better at taking day-to-day realities into account, but we remember Beit Shammai's halacha because we want to be able to fulfill our mitzvot in that way, and if human life didn't get in the way, we would do so. John Green stop putting those who keep stricter (or more idealistic) halacha as "bad" challange: level impossible. John Green then says, as is correct, that at around 200ce we started writing things down, but once again, he neglects to mention why we felt we needed to shift from oral to written (the answer is the Romans wanted us no longer jewish and we had lost our Temple and were going to be expelled from our holy land again, see, that's two sentences, is that so hard to say?) John Green then correctly explains that they way the Talmud was written down was by layers upon layers, "literally circling each other" however, that's only one portion of the halachic debate, and frankly, the Talmud is definitely not the central rabbinic text today. That's the Shulchan Aruch, which is based off of the Talmud, but collates all of Halachic debate into a masterpiece of a lot of books. It, too, has the layers upon layers thing, because why waste good paper space??? There are more mistakes here, in understanding that the Talmud is The Central Halachic thing, which again - look above I corrected it. I'll also happily admit that he's correct in saying that when we refer to the torah we mean both the written and oral ones. But we still have two sections to go, and I am still as wordy as ever.

Branches of Judaism Here is where I started to go from mildly annoyed at how he treats orthodox jews, to flat out mad. See, instead of explaining the differences between branches in a neutral way, John brings up differences that will make people feel things. He gives examples of questions - can women be rabbis - which will have listeners biased towards those communities that allow it (and yes, it is an issue within orthodox communities, but guess what! these communities are also trying to work within their framework of halacha for women's equality), or "can you push an elevator button on shabbat using electricity when the law says to refrain from creating fires and sparks on that day", which is an extreme oversimplification of the whole argument and discussion about electricity on shabbat, which will lead viewers to, once again, view those who do those things as backward, strange, and weird. And trust me, there are so many other halachic questions that can be used (such as can one heat food on shabbat, considering fire and heat, or how you deal with the dietary laws of kashrut), and idk. Maybe at this point I'm nitpicking, but as an orthodox not exactly a woman, it bothers me! It alienates me from the discussion, and it's really frustrating. He comments that the options you can choose are "unwavering, flexible, or somewhere in between", which to me shows a complete lack of understanding of what the orthodox framework of working with halacha is (too long; don't have time to explain - we can't strictly disagree with stuff but we can slowly push for change that may eventually end up disagreeing with something or another). He then explains Orthodox, Conservative, and Reform Judaism. His way of explaining is, while technically correct, missing an understanding of how we different streams of Judaism practice. John describes the differences as ones of strictness vs openness, lack of change vs flexibility. In reality, the difference between the streams is one of precedence. How much weight do we put on something that was written 2000 years ago? How much weight does our current way of living have? Orthodox Judaism will answer that what was written all that time ago has significantly more weight, that they knew more about halacha than we do, to Reform halacha, which takes halachic rulings from 2000 years ago under advisement, but sees how much the world has changed, and makes the rulings accordingly. I won't touch on his specific examples, and suffice it to say that they were in line with what I said earlier about his examples. They're there to make you feel something about these strange jews he's talking about, and that something is not always particularly nice, especially to Orthodox Jews. He then mentions a few other options, which is fine (though I wish he expanded on the "people who say 'I'm Jewish' but don't identify with any particular branch" as, with everything going on, and his sorely lacking explanation in how Judaism and conversion works, may lead to people deciding to just say they're jewish). After that he says that there "are jewish atheists". Yes. There are also orthodox jewish atheists, I thought we covered the fact that Judaism prefers action over belief at the start? I'm confused as to why he felt the need to add that here near the end of the video.

Next, he talks about the different physical branches of Judaism, and mentions that due to persecution we got to many different places. Of course, he once again neglects to mention the ur-persecution, or ur-reason that we are so spread out - our expulsion from Israel, and the beginning of the Jewish Diaspora (he mentions the Diaspora by name, but not the first reason for it). It's a glaring miss, but not as glaring as what is to come. He then talks about three diasporic communities, and I quote "...unique communities emerged in each new location: Ashkenazi Jews in Eastern Europe, Sephardic Jews in Spain and Portugal, and Beta Israel in Eithiopia". One nitpick and one incredibly important correction. Ashkenazi Jews were originally from ashkenaz, ie France and Germany and eventually got to Eastern Europe as well - the name of the general European tradition is, however, Ashkenaz. The second, and more pressing issue, is that he says that Sephardic Jews are in Spain and Portugal. Those communities haven't been there in a Hot Minute, ie since the Spanish Inquistion. They've been in the SWANA or MENA region, with some exceptions for some Dutch, American, and British Jews. I had to look at his sources, because are you kidding me. Both (all three, if we include Beta Israel) sources are from britannica. Again. My first instinct was that maybe the issue was with the source! I was wrong.

The source for Ashkenazi Judaism (emphasis mine)

Ashkenazi, member of the Jews who lived in the Rhineland valley and in neighbouring France before their migration eastward to Slavic lands (e.g., Poland, Lithuania, Russia) after the Crusades (11th–13th century) and their descendants. After the 17th-century persecutions in eastern Europe, large numbers of these Jews resettled in western Europe, where they assimilated, as they had done in eastern Europe, with other Jewish communities. In time, all Jews who had adopted the “German rite” synagogue ritual were referred to as Ashkenazim to distinguish them from Sephardic (Spanish rite) Jews. Ashkenazim differ from Sephardim in their pronunciation of Hebrew, in cultural traditions, in synagogue cantillation (chanting), in their widespread use of Yiddish (until the 20th century), and especially in synagogue liturgy. Today Ashkenazim constitute more than 80 percent of all the Jews in the world, vastly outnumbering Sephardic Jews. In the early 21st century, Ashkenazic Jews numbered about 11 million. In Israel the numbers of Ashkenazim and Sephardim are roughly equal, and the chief rabbinate has both an Ashkenazic and a Sephardic chief rabbi on equal footing. All Reform and Conservative Jewish congregations belong to the Ashkenazic tradition

As you can see, britannica does in fact mention that Ashkenazi Jews were first in the Rhineland valley (germany) and france, and later moved to Eastern Europe. I have some nitpicking on that as what I said doesn't match but regardless. Ashkenazi Jews aren't in Ashkenaz according to John, they are in Eastern Europe

The source for Sephardi Judaism (emphasis mine)

Sephardi, member or descendant of the Jews who lived in Spain and Portugal from at least the later centuries of the Roman Empire until their persecution and mass expulsion from those countries in the last decades of the 15th century. The Sephardim initially fled to North Africa and other parts of the Ottoman Empire, and many of these eventually settled in such countries as France, Holland, England, Italy, and the Balkans. Salonika (Thessaloníki) in Macedonia and the city of Amsterdam became major sites of Sephardic settlement. The transplanted Sephardim largely retained their native Judeo-Spanish language (Ladino), literature, and customs. They became noted for their cultural and intellectual achievements within the Mediterranean and northern European Jewish communities. In religious practice, the Sephardim differ from the Ashkenazim (German-rite Jews) in many ritual customs, but these reflect a difference in traditional expression rather than a difference in sect. Of the estimated 1.5 million Sephardic Jews worldwide in the early 21st century (far fewer than the Ashkenazim), the largest number were residing in the state of Israel. The chief rabbinate of Israel has both a Sephardic and an Ashkenazi chief rabbi. The designation Sephardim is frequently used to signify North African Jews and others who, though having no ancestral ties to Spain, have been influenced by Sephardic traditions, but the term Mizrahim is perhaps more properly applied.

As you can also see, the britannica also mentions that Sephardi talks about North African Jews. What is that? SWANA Jews exist? and experienced persecution? Couldn't be. Surely all Jews are actually European and are colonizers in the land of palestine (heavy sarcasm and cynicism). I've got to say, I find the fact that using where Jews ended up for Ashkenazi Jews, and where they "originated" (in quotation due to the fact that only the name originated from there) for Sephardi Jews rather disingenuous, as the story being told erases the existence of SWANA jews to an upsetting and worrying degree.

Review and Credits Almost done. Just have to get through the review. John finishes up the story with something that I have mixed feelings about. He describes Judaism as a religion, but that being Jewish doesn't require a religious identity. I find the but annoying. It's not "judaism is a religion but doesn't have to be", it's "judaism is a religion and a people, and a culture, etc etc". Judaism is older than the concept of religion, we're a people, who can also have a set of belief and behaviour, but not doing them does not preclude you from being part of the family (unless, of course, you actively leave the family but that is a nuance not for here). The rest of his review is fine in my opinion. And now, the credits, which have a list of names that don't seem to be Jewish, but I can't find that about all of them (i know at least one of the people in charge of information for either this video or the series in general is definitely not Jewish)

I don’t know how to finish this, other than… Do better, Crash Course, do better @sizzlingsandwichperfection-blog.

[milaisreading]

hallo!! I really like your writing😆😆

Bisakah kamu membuat reaksi karakter kunci biru jika mereka tahu bahwa CD!yn adalah perempuan? (termasuk dunia 5, BM, Ubers, PXG, JFA, dan dunia.)

Sorry, my english is bad (english is not my first language)😓😓

🌱🩷: So I used Google translate bcs the middle part was written in Indonesian. And as far as I understood, you want me to write how the teams, World 5, and the world might react to Crossdresser!yn being a girl. I hope this was translated correctly. Sure, no problem! Hope u like this🫶🏻

Warnings: Reader uses she/her. Requests are open

⚽️Blue Lock belongs to Muneyuki Kaneshiro and Yusuke Nomura ⚽️

Manshine City:

Chris: So, you are a girl?

CD!Yn: Yep!

Chris: Aha... *looks at Nagi, Reo, and Chigiri*

Chigiri, blushing as he avoided eye-contact with YN: WE DIDN'T KNOW, I SWEAR!

Nagi:...

Reo, trying to keep his cool: This is so embarrassing. Explains why I always thought you were too cute for a boy.

CD!Yn: What?

Chris, pulling her behind him: Stay back from my child!

Reo:...

Chigiri:...

Nagi with his Miffy face: Does that mean I can dress you up as a maid?

Chigiri starts nose bleeding, Reo is scolding him, while Yn tries to leave the place.

Chris: 20 laps around the facility, Nagi!

Ubers:

Snuffy: So, only Barou knew about this?

CD!Yn: Well, him, Isagi, Ego-san, and Teieri-san.

Barou is in the corner getting rinsed by Oliver and Sendou on why he didn't tell them.

Oliver: You mean I might have had a shot?

Sendou: So the whole time I was crushing on a real girl?! *blush intensifies*

Niko had already fainted in another corner while Aryu was uncharacteristically silent as he stared at her.

Snuffy: Lorenzo, keep Yn away from these guys.

Lorenzo, already escorting her out: Let's go and get something to eat

CD!Yn: Ok? Did Aryu just faint?!

BM:

Kaiser: There is no way you are a girl! You are flat!-

Noa ends up bonking him on the head.

CD!Yn: And you have rat hair! *embarrassed*

Noa: And you knew this, Isagi?

Isagi, who was trying his best to calm Kurona down: She told me so during our 2nd selection process.

CD!Yn: True! Yukimiya, you haven't blinked once during this whole ordeal.

Yukimiya, in an attempt to rebuke it blinked once: I did! By the way, we can model together.

Hiori, acting like her bodyguard along with Kunigami and Gagamaru

Gagamaru: We will protect you from unwanted attention!

Kunigmai: Just stay around us.

Hiori: Yes! Don't worry, you are in good hands!

CD!Yn: Thank you!

Ness is meanwhile in a corner, recalling that one time he nearly walked in on Yn showering: AHHH! THIS IS ALL A MESS!

Kurona, after finally calming down: either guy or girl, Yn is still the cutest

Isagi: Very true!

PXG:

Charles: Still would date you!

CD!Yn: Date?! Aren't you disgusted I lied?!

Charles: Nope *pulls her into a hug* I still admire your abilities as a midfielder. Besides, I always had a thing for tall girls!

Yn starts blushing more as Ri and Karasu attempt to pull her away.

Rin, unsure about his own feelings for Yn now: Get off of her, you leach!

Karasu, still trying to comprehend he shared a room with a girl: She has her personal space! Let her go.

Charles: No~

CD!YN: C-calm down everyone!

Shidou is meanwhile excited by the idea that he got beat up by a girl once. Tokimitsu is trying to comprehend everything to the best of his abilities.

Tokimitsu: Girl or not, she is still our captain. Tho, I think she would look really cute in a dress *blushes*

Barcha:

Lavinho, absent-mindedly pats her head: Aha... well, that is quite the surprise you made for us, little lady.

CD!Yn: Yeah, sorry about keeping it a secret.

Otoya, slides next to her and put an arm around her shoulder: So, wanna go out? I know the perfect spot around here

Bachira, pouting and trying to pull Yn away: Get your dirty hands off of her, playboy!

Lavinho: You both leave her alone!

JFA was meanwhile calling Anri and Ego on every phone available. The calls varied either between scolding them for keeping this a secret, or offering to transfer Yn into the female national team.

Ego: Absolutely not! She is not leaving this facility and the JFA can't demand that either.

Anri: Yep! Yep! Besides, we will have now a person more to help with practices!

World 5:

Loki: So you are a girl?

CD!Yn: Yes, you took this surprisingly well.

Loki, blushing a little: Well, it was weirder to me that you showed much more empathy to my situation than the rest. This is very mild.

Pablo and Adam are meanwhile in a corner thinking of ideas to protect her from the boys on her team.

Dada: Don't worry, little lady. We will protect you in case this causes you trouble

CD!Yn: Huh? But I don't need protection-

Luna, pats her on the head: If anyone says anything, we will shut them up. Now, what did you say about your parents forcing you into this?

Pablo: I need addresses and names

Adam: Preferably now

CD!Yn gulps in fear as she saw the dark shadows looming over the World 5.

CD!Yn, thinking: should have kept my mouth shut

The rest of the world was either shocked or not that much surprised. The rest of the week is either spent on trying to figure out how Yn was outperforming the rest, while the other part was arguing over who would be the better boyfriend for her.

[pit-and-the-pen]

Three's a crowd

Summary: After finding out your mate, Cassian, had slept with Nesta you let slip that you wouldn't mind her joining you and Cassian.

Cassian x reader established relationship, Smut (18+)Female reader, m/f/f threesome, mean dom Nesta, soft dom Cassian, Sub reader, impact play, subspace kinda, fingering, oral (m/f receiving), orgasm denial, lots of praise, lots of safe word checks. Two mentions of spit. 

Idea by the lovely @sarawritestories <3

divider by @tsunami-of-tears

It started out as an innocent story telling session with your family. Nothing out of the ordinary, a bottle or two of wine shared in your cozy living room. Nesta, Emery, Gwen and you sitting on your couches feet tucked up as laughter filled the air. Your mate, Cassian, was out grabbing a few drinks with his brothers at Rita’s so naturally you invited all your friends. 

The hours passed like minutes, Gwen recounting some story about a unicorn that had Nesta and Emery roaring with laughter, shouting over each other with “That’s not how it happened!” “Tell it right, Gwen!”

“What he did like me more. I know you were too busy getting your world rocked by Cas to remember anything correctly but-” Gwen gasped before clamping a hand over her mouth. You felt your eyes widen, letting the words sink in. “Oh my goodness, I’m so sorry. I…shit.” The red head knocked back the rest of her glass of wine. Nesta’s cheeks had tinged pink right up to the long tips of her ears. 

“It’s fine. I promise.” You said, taking a long sip of your own. Nesta’s head snapped to yours. 

“What?”

“It’s no big deal. If I got jealous over every person Cassian has ever slept with, I would never know a moment of peace.” You laughed lightly to yourself. And you truly didn’t mind. Maybe only slightly because she hasn't told you but that’s the past. 

“Did I hear my name?” Speak of the devil. Cassian strolled into the living room, pressing a quick peck to the top of your head as he flopped down onto the couch next to you. 

“Only talking about how much of a rake you used to be.” Another laugh drew out of you at his faux scandalized face. 

“Me?” 

“Yes you.” You poked right in between his ribs and he jumped slightly. Playfully batting away your hand. 

“And why, pray tell, are we discussing that?” 

“Gwen said you slept with Nesta. Well I believe her exact words were ‘rocking Nesta’s world’” Cassian’s eyes looked like they were about to pop out of his head. You brushed a gentle hand on his cheek. “And I was just telling her that I’m fine with it.”

“You are?” You only nodded, draining the rest of your wine glass. 

“It was forever ago. I haven't even met you yet.” He tried to explain, words tumbling out. 

“Cas.” You cut him off, placing a hand on his thigh. “I really really don’t mind. I mean who wouldn’t want to sleep with Nesta.” It was your turn to blush. The sound of Gwen sputtering reminded you that you were in your very full living room that suddenly felt very small. You shot up to your feet, nearly stumbling over your own limbs. 

“I’m going to grab more wine.” You practically shouted and turned to leave the room. Trying not to run to the small wine cabinet, you were cursing yourself mentally. 

“You got out of there pretty fast.” Cassian said, wrapping his arms around your waist. 

“I don’t know how I’m ever supposed to look her in the eye again.” You groaned, pressing your forehead against the cool wood of the cabinet. 

“Very easily actually. Did you mean it though?” 

“What part?” Your breath hitched in your throat as Cassian kissed up your neck. 

“Do you want to sleep with Nesta?” Your heartbeat sped up as you tried to fight back the thoughts. Nesta was gorgeous, anyone with eyes could see that. And you’d be lying if you said you never considered it. You loved your mate wholeheartedly but there was nothing wrong with looking. It wasn’t uncommon for you and Cassian to point out a fae or two that caught your eye at Rita’s, so this was no different. 

“Princess?” Cassian froze, mouth hovering right over your pulse point. 

“Would you be mad if I said yes?” Your voice was small, cheeks burning hot. He chuckled against your neck, continuing his path of kisses. 

“No.” His mouth was right against your ear. “Do you want her to join us in our bed?” He practically purred it and you gasped as his teeth toyed with your ear lobe. You could only nod your head. “Interesting. I’ll talk to her. But, be warned princess. She’s just as vicious in bed as she is out of bed.” He left one final bite to the column of your throat and unwrapped himself from around you. Leaving you trembling and wondering just exactly what you had gotten yourself into. And oh so excited for it. 

---------------------------------------------------------------------

“Why don’t you go over your colors for Nesta, Princess.” Cassian’s hand rested lightly on your jaw, tugging your face up to look at him. You knelt in front of him, naked with your palms resting on your thighs.

“Yes, General. Green is okay, yellow means slow down or I’m starting to get uncomfortable. And red means stop.”

“Good girl.” Cassian said, running a hand through your hair. “And if you can’t talk? Like if Nesta was sitting on that pretty little face of yours?” Your breath hitched at the image he painted for you. You licked your lips as you let your mind wander. A slight tap on your head pulled you out of your dirty thoughts. 

“Right. One tap is good, two means slow down, and three is stop.” 

“Good girl. Now our rules are I can touch you, Nesta, but no fucking. Anything else I’m missing, princess?” 

“No, General.”

“Alright. Now show Nesta just exactly how good you can be.” He stepped back, letting Nesta step in front of you. 

“Can I touch you?” She asked, eyes roving over your naked form. She still had on a silk robe, tied loosely but covering anything that mattered. 

“Yes.” You said and her hand instantly tangled into the roots of your hair, pulling your head back to the ceiling. A small yelp left your mouth and she gave you a feline smile. 

“Oh you’re going to be fun to play with.” 

Nesta didn’t waste time before she had you ass up on the bed. Circling you with your favorite paddle in her hand. Your head was in Cassian’s lap, his straining cock right in front of you, throbbing, as you ran the tip of your tongue out to trace the veins that ran underneath. 

A loud smack filled the room and your shriek died off to a moan. 

“No touching him, yet.” She called out. You whimpered and Cassian ran a gentle hand through your hair. Another smack. 

“No touching her either, General.” She teased. “You have to earn touching him.” One more smack, harder than the others. Your foot kicked up at the feeling. The tinge of delicious pain that ran through you making you moan loudly. 

Nesta delivered hit after hit until tears stung your eyes. Cries bubbling out of your throat. Cassian’s cock was leaking, listening to your sweet noises but not being able to touch you. His hands were clenched tight by his side, fighting the urge to thread his fingers into your hair and push you down onto his aching cock. 

One last smack pulled a yelp from your throat. Slightly different from the others. Cassian swore under his breath. 

“Gods Nesta. I don’t even hit that hard during punishments.” He tapped your cheek lightly, asking for your eyes on him. You did so instantly. “Color?”

“Green. Very much green.” 

Another sharp hit, the paddle whipping through the air. 

“Is that how you address him?” Nesta asked. You shook your head. 

“No. I’m sorry, General.” 

Cassian had his eyes narrowed on Nesta as he answered you. “It’s okay, Princess. You’re doing great.” You didn’t need to see Nesta to know she rolled her eyes, a small sigh leaving her lips. 

“Aren’t you just dying to get your mouth around him?” She purred as her hand started rubbing at your now red backside. You nodded, which earned you a small snack with her hand this time. 

“Gods. Yes.” You answered. Her hand gently ran up the curve of your back, her lithe body following it until she was leaning over you. 

“Then put that pretty mouth to use, or is it only good for screaming?” You didn’t get a chance to answer before she tangled a hand into your hair and pulled you onto Cassian rock hard cock. His loud moan echoed through the room as he instantly hit the back of your throat. You gagged, trying to breathe through your nose. A string of curses left his mouth and his hand tried to rest on your head. The sound of a sharp slap filled the room as Nesta smacked his hand away. 

“I didn’t say you could touch her yet.” She hissed and pulled you off of him. A string of spit connecting your lips and the tip of him. “Color?” She asked you, you didn’t hesitate. 

“Green.” 

Her eyes flickered back to Cassian.

“See. She can take it. Now keep your hands to yourself before I tie them up.” She winked and that was all the time you got before she was pushing you back down onto Cassian. You were better prepared this time. Relaxing your throat and taking a short breath through your nose. Nesta praised you as she pulled your head up and down, controlling your every move. You were a whining mess under her as you wanted to be able to touch Cassian, run your hands up and down his thick thighs, cup his heavy balls the way that would make him moan your name and have him spill down your throat. 

“Enough.” She said and pulled you off of him again. She kept tugging until you were sitting on your knees, chest heaving as you gulped down precious air. Her hands rest lightly around your neck and she pushes you back against the bed, your hair hanging over the edge. 

She slings her legs over your chest, putting all of her weight right in the center. She curls a finger at Cassian, beckoning him to you. 

“Make her scream, General.” She purrs at Cassian and that’s all it takes for him to throw your legs apart. He runs a finger through your folds and groans when he finds you soaked. He thrusts two fingers into you, scissoring them to stretch you out for him. 

“Are you ready for me, princess? Think you can take me?” He coos and you cry your yes. Followed by a string of please. The words die off in your throat as he pushes his tip in. Your eyes flutter closed at the feeling of your mate entering you. 

Cassian sinks into you fully as Nesta’s fingers give your nipples a harsh tug. Your moan is quickly cut off by her thumb sliding into your mouth. 

“I think that’s a much better use for that loud mouth of yours, don’t you think Cas?” Your skin flushed as she talked about you like you weren’t even there. Cassian’s only answer was a sharp thrust of his hips, a move that would have sent you further up the bed if it wasn’t for Nesta’s weight on the center of your chest. His finger rubbing tight lethal circles on your clit. 

“Fuck. Everytime, it’s like you were made for me.” He spoke through clenched teeth. Slowing his thrust down to let you feel every inch of him. 

Your eyes shut close as you felt that coil tighten in your stomach. Biting into Nesta’s thumb as you fought back screams. Your body jolted when Nesta gave your breast a sharp slap. 

“Not yet.” Was all she barked before she pressed that same hand low on your belly. Your body shook as it only served to amplify every thrust, singeing every nerve in your body. 

Your head starts to feel a little fuzzy, slipping into that delicious headspace that only Cassian could give to you. Your hand sneaks across the bed, searching for his warm hand to stop you from fully floating away, not entirely sure of yourself with Nesta around. Nesta’s foot comes to rest on your wrist, pinning it down hard enough that you gasp. Nesta’s weight is off of you instantly. Cassian slipping out of you with a growl. Blinking off the haze in your eyes, you see Cassian holding Nesta’s neck lightly. 

“Cool off Nes.This is her first time. If my mate wants the comfort of my touch, then that’s what she gets. Do you understand?” Cassian growls. Something in Nesta’s eyes switches. That hard edge melts away and a flush rises over her cheeks. She mumbles something under her breath. 

“What was that?” His tone is softer now. Nesta’s eyes don’t meet his. 

“Yes sir.” Her voice is shaky.

Cassian’s eyebrows raise in question. He removes his hand from her neck, sliding it down her body. She shudders at the contact. Cassian leans in close until his mouth is just an inch away from her ear.

“I think you can do better than that, right Nes?” Nesta’s eyes flicker to you. You give her a small nod of encouragement, eyes wide at the scene unfolding in front of you. Still hazy from the orgasm you had been denied. 

“Yes, sir.” Nesta’s words are more firm. Cassian groans at the tone. 

“Better. Now I think we owe our girl over there something, don’t you?” Nesta bites her lip and nods. 

Cassian turns his attention to you “Color, princess?” 

“Y..yellow.” You stuttered out. “Just wanna touch you.” Your voice was small and shaky. The tell tale sign that you were starting to get overstimulated. 

“Are you okay with Nesta staying?” 

You think for a second then nod. His eyes soften and he runs a soothing hand through your hair. He places a kiss on your forehead and you all but melt against him. Dipping your head down to rest in the crook of his neck. His arms wrap around you and he shifts you to his lap, making you straddle him. 

“Like this?” He asks and you nod again. You raise your hips and whimper as you sink down onto him. You throw your head back as he bottoms out, hitting that sweet spot inside you right away. He gives you a few breaths to adjust to the new position. Then he hooks an arm over your shoulder and grinds you down on him, short quick thrusts that pull high pitched mewls from you. 

“Nesta.” You say between cries. The blonde was quickly by your side. You grabbed her cheeks between your hands and pulled her lips to yours. She swallowed every one of your moans, chasing them like they were oxygen. 

One of your hands snaked down her smooth stomach, feeling every muscle that her training has given her until you reach between her thighs. You trailed a tentative finger through her center. Drawing a moan from both of you as you circled her clit, applying the pressure the same way you would to yourself. Her hips bucked at the contact. Her own hand cupping the back of your head as the other started playing with your nipples. You slipped a finger into her, the sound of both of your slick filling the air. You paced your finger to the timing of Cassian’s thrusts. Your legs were shaking around Cassian and he moaned as you clenched around him. 

“Good girl. Fuck, you gonna cum all over my cock?” You moaned your yes. Not pulling away from Nesta’s soft lips. She nipped at your lower lip as you added another finger into her. Trying to get her to her own release. 

“Go ahead. Gods, you’re squeezing me like crazy, princess.” His words mixed with the sharp tug on your nipples had your whole body tensing. You pulled away from Nesta, fingers stilling inside of her as you came so hard you saw stars. Nesta held your head, Cassian wrapping his arms tight around your waist to crash you against him. Your ears were ringing but you could hear both of them whispering their praises in your ear. A few harsh thrusts from Cassian had him panting your name as he spilled into you. A loud keen flowing from your lips as he fucked you both through it. You're both panting, heads resting against each other when you remember you still had two fingers buried in Nesta. 

You pull off of Cassian, feeling his cum drip down your thigh as he slips out of you. 

“Lay down for me Nes.” You say as you pull your hand away from her cunt. She gives you a sleepy smile and does just that. You make a big show of slipping your fingers into your mouth. Moaning at the taste of her. You’re rewarded with her sharp inhale. You smile down at her and start trailing kisses down her chest. Lower, delivering a soft nip to her stomach, her hip, the inside of her thigh. She tilts her hips up to meet your mouth and you feel Cassian pin her hips to the bed. You look up at the both of them as you lower your mouth to Nesta’s center. 

She moans loudly as you lick a soft stripe between her folds. Her hands are instantly tangling in your hair. You circle her clit with your tongue, once, twice then you tap Cassian’s wrist once. Signaling him to let her go. That’s all it takes for her to start bucking against your face. Using that hand in your hair to push you closer into her. 

You can sense her growing frustration and sneak your hand up, teasing those same fingers inside of her again. Her back arches off the bed and she rides your face. Pushing your fingers deeper inside of her. You curl your fingers, searching for that rougher patch and almost smile when she curses loudly. Her moans quickly raise in pitch. Swears mingling with a garbled version of your name. Her legs try to clamp around your head but Cassian keeps a hand on her knee to stop her. Her moans turn into small mewls as her legs start to shake. You flick your eyes up and lock them with hers. That’s all it takes for her to fall apart on your tongue. Hips still bucking against your face as she rides out her high. You don’t stop your fingers until she’s pushing you away lightly. You drink up every drop off her arousal, leaving her glistening with a mix of it and your spit. You smile widely up at her as she pants, chest heaving, staring up at the ceiling. Her cheeks are tinged pink and she looks so pretty that you want to kiss her. So you do. A much softer kiss than the one you shared earlier. 

When you pull away and turn your face to your mate, you see him hardening against his thigh again. 

“Round two?” You turn back to Nesta, biting your lip. She quickly nods before Cassian is attaching his lips to yours. The groan that you pull from him lets you know just how long this night will be.

[warping-realities]

Gracefall Operation - Prologue

Finding Joy in The Job

Alan had witnessed this scene before, always with a sense of helplessness. A suited man, distractedly talking on his cellphone, would inadvertently take a wrong turn and end up in a shady alley of the big metropolis, only to find himself surrounded by the scum of societ. Alan always hated going through this situation. He tried to get attention, shout, take any action that would not reveal to the world the secret he was hiding. However, his attempts always seemed insufficient, leaving him with a sense of helplessness.

But not this time. As he watched the middle-aged man being harassed by the thugs he would finally be able to act more assertively. The new hero chose a strategic point in a shadowy area of the dark street. Gathering courage he prepared to attack checking once more if the balaclava correctly covered his face. If someone from the outside saw the skinny boy in tactical gear approaching that group they would have thought the boy was out of his mind. And that person couldn't have been more wrong, because the only thing Alan needed was a touch, and everything would be over. The crucial point was that they didn't notice his presence until it was too late. Hence the ninja-like outfit.

Alan gave the thugs no chance to react before he struck them. Just one touch and one of them was knocked out unconscious on the ground. The second was thrown far away, crashing against a wall, falling to the ground, moaning and reluctant to get up. The last one threw a punch at the boy, who was hit hard on the face and staggered, but not before touching the bare arm of the goliath, the thug fell to the ground, with all four limbs broken. Alan, still dazed, quickly repositioned himself, fighting against the pain while dragging the executive with him to a safe place. Running he wondered why he decided to do it. He had possibly saved a life, right? So, why the feeling that it wouldn't make the slightest difference, except for the fact that he would have to explain a black eye the next day? The executive jogged with some effort beside him, probably knowing it was better for him to have a superhero giving him cover. After running a few blocks to a quieter part of the city, he felt the tension in his body dissipate, letting out a sigh, while the man looked directly at his bloody nose.

“Th-thank you...”

Said the man breathlessly. They were on the side of a clothing store in empty street. The hero was feeling his nose while the man bent over, breathing deeply. “I really don't know how to thank you, you saved my... what happened, did they hurt you?” He asked with a high-pitched voice, and eyes shining with interest as they measured Alan as if he were the most fantastic thing the man had seen in his life.

“No… It's just that it wasn't how I imagined it would be.”

“No? You just saved me. You must be proud.”

“I am, don't get me wrong, it's just that I expected more...”

The man frowned.

“You can't continue this work if you don't get satisfaction from it.”

“I'm sure many heroes don't worry about this, I shouldn't be worried about this, I… I’ll do what's necessary and deal with it. I'm sorry, you don't need to hear my complaints.”

“Don't apologize, you're right in one point, a hero needs to do what's necessary, but also doesn't need to live in martyrdom. You need to plan better so you can relax later and enjoy what you decided to do, even have fun. Tell me, what kind of martial training have you had, what protections does this uniform provide, and... well, if it's not asking too much, how exactly does your power work?”

“Well, that's asking too much, just say that one touch from me is enough to end any fight. And as for training? Well… I haven't had any, and the outfit is just something I bought at a military surplus store.”

“Oh, boy, you really didn't think before getting into this? Sorry, but we're talking about something very delicate, not just your life but also others'. Let me help you.” The man reached for a card in the pocket of his suit and handed it to Alan. “Listen. The life you chose is much more complex than picking a uniform and going around hitting others, it takes a lot of planning. But it doesn't mean you have to do it. I know some people who can help you. You overthink and hold yourself back, not reaching your full potential. You come here and she will do this for you, you'll feel that everything is right and maybe enjoy yourself a bit. If you'll excuse me, my wife is waiting for me.”

Watching the man walk away, Alan looked at the card in his hand and read the name on it, Serena Reid.

The incident still dominated his consciousness when he returned to classes the next day, to the point where he couldn't even remember the content discussed in class. He kept telling himself that he didn't need anyone's help... he was just starting, after all. Although he had to admit that the man was right about his lack of planning. He thought it would just be a matter of putting on a uniform and going to fight, that everything would work. He had the ability to copy and store moments lived by a person from a touch to later pass them on if he wanted. However, he had not considered that others could hit him to, as his black eye demonstrated. He really needed to plan and train better. But he would do it alone, improve, and get to the point where he finally feel fulfilled.

But then why did he end up calling and scheduling an appointment with the mysterious woman? The man seemed very sure in his statements about why Alan felt that sense of emptyness. And, well, it would just be a consultation, nothing too much, right?

In doubt if they would really let him enter a building in broad daylight with his face covered, Alan arrived in a modern office building, Serena's office was on the tenth floor. Entering he was greeted by shiny porcelain floors, expensive art and a very well-lit hall. If they hadn't informed him that the consultation would be free, he would have turned around at that exact moment.

Too late, standing next to the receptionist was the man he had saved. "I'm glad you accepted the offer. You won't regret it. My name is Larry, by the way."

Alan followed him to the elevator, making small talk about the work there. Apparently, all the offices in that building belonged to a large corporation, which didn't prevent them from doing some pro-bono work occasionally, like help Alan. He wouldn't be the first or the last hero full of uncertainties to enter that building.

“Although certainly, everyone left there extremely satisfied, of course," said the man, pompously. In the excitement of the other night, Alan hadn't noticed that trait, but it made sense, after all what kind of executive would the man be if he didn't display some confidence?

---

As they walked through the office complex something caught Alan's attention. There were many guys there who seemed out of place. Broad and muscular, could they be other heroes in disguise? No, they didn't have that spark of goodness; these were brutish men with the air of danger that mercenaries should present. They were by no means the type of people he expected to see in that place.

"Ah, yes, our field team. Later you will have the opportunity know them better. We've arrived!" Larry opened a large door, gesturing for him to enter revealing an opulent office, where sitting at an elegant desk was a beautiful asian woman in her thirties, who smiled at the young man.

"Please, have a seat, Mister...?"

"I, well, I haven't chosen a hero name yet."

"A bad start, dear, if I may offer a small critique. Please, have a seat. And Larry, if you could kindly wait a moment before leaving."

Alan sat in the armchair in front of the woman as requested. With each step he took, he was overwhelmed by the exasperating feeling of entering some monster's lair, although Serena's beautiful face revealed no danger.

"Comfortable, Alan?" she asked, her smile widening.

"How... how...?"

"What kind of company do you think we would be if we didn't have enough resources to discover the identity of new potential assets, my dear? Let me introduce ourselves , I’m Serena Reid CEO of the Meng Po Company, while Larry here, whom you so bravely saved, is the head of our acquisitions department. Now, with introductions made, I would like you to explain to us how your abilities work. That way, we can have an understanding of what you can do and the best way to help you reach your full potential."

Alan had not explained the entirety of his abilities to anyone else. Having had them for only a few months, even he did not know their full extent and was not comfortable sharing that information; That situation was making him uneasy.

"I'm sorry, Mrs. Reid, but I don't feel comfortable..."

"No need for Mrs. Reid, dear, we are all friends here, aren't we? And why don't you relax a bit?." She said with a melodious voice, and Alan felt all the tension melt away. "You sought us out asking for help, so let us help you, and for that, we need to know how your abilities work."

Yes, he wanted help, so he needed to let these people help him...

"I collect and store memories of any kind. Later can relive them in other people, exactly as it happened with the one who lived it the first time, and for that, I just need a touch."

"Fascinating, so you can turn something intangible into action. Reminds me a lot of the powers of an old hero, have you heard of the Deceiver?"

"Deceiver was an illusionist, ma'am, what I do is real."

"Oh, my dear, I know. But believe me, his illusions can seem very real to those who fall into his web."

"You speak as if he were alive, but he passed away years ago, killed in action."

"Boy, the keyword here is Deceiver, and if he's dead, how can he be standing right behind you?"

"What?" he asked, startled, turning to see the man behind him, but that was... "But it's just Larry."

"And just Larry is exactly what he wanted you to see, look again." Alan look back, only to find a man completely different from the one who was there before. While the other was thin and emaciated, this one was strong and robust, taller than Alan by several inches. Black skin but with an ethnic mix that Alan couldn't quite define, but there was certainly something Asian in him.

"I'm sorry for deceiving you, Alan, but I needed to test you. What we do here is very important. As a way of apologizing, let me introduce myself: I am Anan Tsé, formerly known as the Deceiver. My identity and the fact that I am alive are something few know and I hope it stays that way. Telling you these things is a vote of confidence."

Alan was speechless. Deceiver was a great hero, but it didn't seem right; however, before he could speak, Serena spoke again with that melodious voice.

"Relax, Alan, you can trust us. You trust us, otherwise why would you be here?"

Yes, he trusted them, he was here, wasn't he?

"Yeahhh, of course..."

"Great, then it's time to speak openly. We weren't completely honest with you, we've been watching you for a few weeks and we already had a good idea of what your power would be. There are certain types of incidents that are unique, almost impossible to happen twice, let alone three or four times. So when you do exactly that, it became clear that you could reproduce the same incident multiple times. That's why Anan needed to test you personally. He met a man a long time ago who was capable of something similar, but the most interesting thing wasn't that, was it, Anan?".

"Exactly, of course I could be wrong, but it was worth the risk. And jackpot, your powers are exactly as my old friend's. You don't realize it because you haven't trained it properly but your power is more than you realize. Even more so when combined with mine. My illusions affect the world in an immaterial way; the damage I produce happens inside people's minds... unless... how's that nose, kid?"

"Broken, but getting better, not thanks to you." Alan replied, indignation winning over the molasses in his head.

"But if what I do are just illusions, how could your nose be broken?" Anan asked with a mocking smile.

"I... I don't know."

"Let me clarify then. You think you only work with copied memories, but in reality, your powers go beyond that. You alter reality on a very small scale. So, when you were hit by that punch from my illusion, your body unconsciously responded the way it should have if it had been hit for real."

"What? That's..."

"Impossible? Your nose clearly says otherwise, dear." Interjected Serena. "In any case, this gave us a very interesting idea. Anan here suffered an incident some time ago; we both suffered, in reality. On the day of his supposed death, we were together..."

"Together? But Deceiver died in a fight of the Alliance against the Supreme Trio... against the ... Serena Reid? Serenaid? You are the Siren."

"Congratulations, kid, you didn't take long!"

"Your voice, I... what are you doing to me?" he asked, trying to cover his ears.

"Don't be silly. Everyone assumes my power is in my voice, but that's not real; my power is in my glands."

"Pheromones!!!"

"My, my, you're really smart, kid; naive but smart. It's no use covering your ears or trying to hold your breath... with me, it's skin deep. My pheromones hit all your exposed areas: nostrils, skin, and leave you... open to my suggestions... so why don't you relax a little more and listen to what I have to say, since we're such close friends that we know everything about each other's powers."

Alan tried to fight the feeling of numbness unsuccessfully. He should try to run, try to touch both of them and give them the worst moments from the memories he had collected as a volunteer in various trauma hospitals over the past few months. But he did none of that; he just stood there, paralyzed, with the agonizing feeling of being anesthetized in the face of danger, unable to do anything to change that.

"Now that we're more relaxed, let me continue." Anan, lend me the device, dear." Deceiver approached the table and handed her a small metallic sphere.

"This is one of the little wonders that Techno created and provided to the members of the Alliance. It allows storing some types of powers and releasing them in the way the bearer wishes. This one is always charged with my pheromones, to ensure Anan's loyalty wherever he goes. He has been under my command for so long that using the device is no longer necessary, but a cautious woman is worth a battalion. You must be wondering how one of world the greatest heroes is doing alongside a convicted criminal?"

Alan was not in a condition to wonder about anything while trying unsuccessfully to overcome the stupor that engulfed him. The only response to leave his lips was a grunt.

"Anh..."

"Well, maybe I exaggerated a bit with you but as I said, I'm a cautious woman. The answer to this question lies in the incident we were both involved in two years ago. But before we get there, I need to tell you more. Haven't you wondered why no other hero has contacted you in these months? Well, it's because they were obscured; they don’t know about your existence. Their trackers in most major countries have been compromised, thanks to Anan's good work. They still inform the Alliance of most new heroes, but those that are of our interest. This is extremely important for us. You would know the reason if the usual contact process had been carried out. The Alliance establish contact as quickly as possible with new candidates, even if they do not end up being selected. Their goal is installing a small intradermal device, another of Techno's inventions, with the ability to block any kind of mental control powers, mine included. He’s such annoying nerd. However, even he couldn’t predict everything. During our fight against the Alliance, my brother hit Deceiver with an energy blast before being eliminated. In my rage over Ampere's death, I released all my powerful pheromones; nothing should have happened, of course. However, to my surprise, Deceiver remained under my total command and quickly created the illusion of our deaths. After that the Trio was dismantled and I had to restructure. Without the other two, I could focus on my own goals. The truth is that I never cared about the Trio's manifesto; I just followed my brother and his friend's wishes. So, using my powers and Anan's combined, I created an empire. Reaper can rot in jail; if it weren't for his influence, Ampere... Armand would be alive. And regarding the Alliance, I will never forgive them for taking my brother from me, but it is not enough to take their lives; I want them humiliated at my feet. And you will help me with that, dear."

Alan again did not respond, which seemed to irritate Siren.

"You are so unamusing; I will lower the intensity a bit so we can have a decent conversation. In the meantime, let me explain your role in this story. Over the past two years, Anan and I have tried to recreate the incident to disable the device in some lesser heroes, without success. Either the charge used was too weak, or so strong that it killed our test subjects, or the problem was another: it had to be Ampere's energy to work, or worse, a perfect combination of the events of that day, which would clearly be impossible, but... Anan?”

"But it turns out that it's not impossible, just very unlikely; it would require an unique combination. One that I myself experienced but unfortunately did not have the means to recreate. This was almost thirty years ago; the Alliance had not yet been established, and the sharing of information about superhuman abilities was scarce. In my search for knowledge, I found an old man with the same powers as you, kid. Together we experimented and to our surprise we managed to combine our powers. The trick was to deceive the part of his consciousness that made his powers work and thus turn an illusion into reality. And that was one of the most incredible things I have ever witnessed. We conjectured for some time about the possibilities that this gave us; with the right approach, we could rewrite a person's entire history, turn a criminal into someone useful for society, or even reverse aging process. However, since he could only retain memories of a few minutes, that remained just a theory. Only a few years later were the first enhancers identified, but it was too late; my old friend had left this world."

"Which doesn't mean that someone with a similar power couldn't appear again; unlikely but not impossible. So we pooled the company's resources in two fronts: one focused on identifying and recruiting as many enhancers as possible and the other on finding someone with the same powers. Anan managed to infiltrate among the Alliance trackers to facilitate this. And now we are here, finally ready to test his hypothesis and start my revenge."

"Why..."

"What, dear?"

"Why... help her... Deceiver... fight against... you... hero."

"Kid, you heard Serena say it yourself, she no longer needs to use her powers on me; I am her ally. This toy is just a guarantee on her part. A guarantee totally unnecessary, as she knows well."

"Silly boy, if I had patience I would do to you what I did to him; in five years you would be a totally different person, but I want more, and I want it now."

"No... never... impossible..."

"Impossible doesn’t exist for people like us. Get ready; You can send the girl in, Anan."

Anan headed to the doors and returned with a young woman who seemed to radiate power.

"Faye is our most skilled enhancer; she is charged with the power of all the others we have gathered for our ranks. It’s so much energy that if released in some heroes could cause catastrophic changes in the world, but this time it will be just in one person. Rest now, dear."

The feeling of stupor intensified, mixing with a feeling that something extremely wrong, was going to happen to him and then Alan felt a hand guiding his bare hand his other hand, while he struggled to overcome those sensations, knowing what was coming.

"Annnh..." His eyes widened as he fought to stop it, only to discover he had no strength in him. He began to visibly sweat as the first images began to appear before him, it was a matter of seconds before his powers activate, so he try even more desperately to escape that predicament.

"You are going to give me what I want." Serena's voice lost its softness. "This will be easier for all of us if you stop trying to resist." This only made the young man want to fight even more. He grunted defiantly as he looked at the beautiful woman who seemed ready to devour him alive, and then, summoning strength he didn’t know where it came from, he screamed as he felt something starting to stir inside him. He groaned as he felt his whole body contract in the prison that was that armchair, his arms flexing, his abdomen cramping, his legs outstretched. As the images passed before him, too quickly to be truly understood, he felt something he had never felt before: his raw power coursing through his whole body while something very different of himself began to awaken in a deep corner of his mind, advancing slowly but steadily to the surface. That thing brought with it an aggressiveness he had never experienced before; he wanted to punch someone, blow heads off, break legs! As Alan struggled to contain that invasion of his consciousness, he let out a grunt that resembled a growl through his clenched teeth. That torrent of indecipherable images were beginning to alter him more profoundly. They came like a wave pushing him to accept what was happening, and he realized that he wanted part of it: the adrenaline of battle, the sensation of crushed bones under his fist and broken necks under his feet, always living at the center of the action. The young man with wavy blonde hair, lost in that myriad of sensations, did not notice when someone removed the hood and mask he was wearing, or that his hair was slowly darkening and shortening. As his jaw widened and sculpted into a square shape, his neck bulged with pure muscle and his chest expanded forward. Why had he never tried to exercise properly? Why hadn’t he trained in any fighting? He was a hero; this should be basic! Besides, that would be fun, and he needed a little fun in his life while having such a responsible job.

As the images continued to swirl in his head his biceps contracted and relaxed reaching the size of cannonballs. His chest expanded absurdly, widening and projecting, while his lats grew to the point where it seemed that two wings were coming out from there, forcing the t-shirt he was wearing into tatters, partially hanging from his immense physique. He really needed to put more effort into his training; after all, his strength and dexterity were what made him known. Of course, his powers helped, but many times he didn’t even use it just to ensure more fun while doing his job. The whirlwind of images spun, in his head. As the pace increased, he could practically feel his mind shrinking while that other brutal will expanded. The two consciences touched in an assimilation process as his modified memories began to solidify... The memory that he had entered in college thanks to his GPA disappeared, replaced by the fact that his entry was due to a wrestling and gymnast scholarship. His legs expanded, thighs transforming into tree trunks, calves into defined diamonds, his butt growing , two perfect muscular globes.

Suddenly, the flow of memoreis began to slow down, perhaps approaching the end; Came the moment of discovering his abilities; it was awese! He relived the moment he used his powers against thugs in a dark alley, laughing at the fallen idiots. Now his feet increased from a discreet size eight to a gigantic size thirteen, bursting the too-small sneakers and socks, exposing the massive paws covered with thick veins that emanated an animalistic funk.

Slowly, a wave of thick black hair began to spread from his toes to the base of his thighs, transforming his smooth crotch into a thicket that almost completely hid his average cock. The hair continued its advance, while images of other street fights filled his head, many of them started by him for no major reason. A treasure trail formed on his abdomen, slightly covering the defined six-pack, while the two slabs of meat that were his pecs became covered by a thick layer, and his pits by two giant funky bushes. Finally, his new square face was covered by a well trimmed beard, the bruises fading, while his was shaved in a military buzzcut. His bright blue eyes slowly took on a brown hue, while a spark of intelligence was replaced by malice. When a tanned tone spread across his skin another memory of his abilities capabilities took the forefront. It was the recollection of a night when he had made three women from his college climax in a loop. Reliving that made his dick come alive inside the underwear that was almost ripping apart due to the pressure exerted by his massive thighs and giant ass. The addition of a thick cock was the final blow, making his underwear tear and exposing the engorged nine inches python.

The growing man roared as the muscles of his entire body tensed again, definition forming in all of them, the striations visible, a huge scar in his pec. He had become the perfect specimen physically, but that was still not enough; a body that size couldn't belong to an eighteen-year-old wrestler and gymnast. That was the body of a mature experienced in man... which he truly was. After dropping out of college in his junior year, he enlisted and ended up joining the SEALs, his appearance and heritage were usefull in operations in the Middle East. During the seven years he served his body had gone from lean and strong to a tremendous mass of raw muscular power.

After being discharged, he had done his work in all corners of the world; his name was whispered in fear from the bustling streets of New Delhi to the narrow alleys of Eastern Europe.

"no...."

Those people were trying to turn him into a war machine, and the worst part was that he liked what he was becoming, a being of pure masculinity who would be in command of any battle, ensuring that enemies were broken and incapacitated, out of commission for a long time, if not permanently. He didn't care if the opponents remained on the ground forever. The two entities inside him were already so amalgamated that any attempt to fight against the process became an impossible struggle. Alan had become an efficient brute, a powerful warrior devoid of mercy while doing his job, reveling in it, with a playful smile always on his face. That last spark of resistance extinguished taking with it all the arguments for why he should have fought against what was being done to him, while his hardened cock shot a torrent of cum into the air and he was overwhelmed by an extreme sensation of pleasure before suddenly losing consciousness.

"Alan, are you listening to me?"

"It's Aslan, ma'am; it means lion." replied the muscular giant to the beautiful woman leaning against his chest, the two laying on the persian rug in her luxurious office after countless hours of wild sex.

"Whatever your name is, if you're going to work for me, it's important that you listen while I'm talking to you. Just because we're occasional fuck partners doesn't mean this will change; I demand respect from all my employees, including my head of security and tactical operations. Are we understood?"

"Yes, ma'am."

"Great. As I was saying before you got distracted, before we put Operation Gracefall into practice, I need to test you in the field."

"I believed my credentials spoke for me."

"I am a cautious woman. I may be dying for revenge on those fools, but first we need to test if Anan's memory will work on the blocking device. Understand that this is for your own safety; your ability is incredible, but it's no match for the heavyweights of the Alliance, at least not yet. We'll work on that, but first I need to test you. So listen closely to my instructions."

….

Aslan confidently entered the company field operations GQ, quickly gathering his team.

"Gentlemen, my name is Aslan Ayad; you may refer to me as Sir or Commander. Tonight we will have a special operation. The Lady Boss wants us to capture a rookie hero and bring him here for recruitment. Apparently, normally this is a job done by Mr. Anan Tsé, but she wants to test my skills and yours. Any questions?"

"Sir, Sorry, but why does the boss want us to capture a rookie?"

"Because, soldier, it seems that the kid hasn’t been contacted by the Alliance yet, which means he hasn’t had the blocking device applied to him, making him quite susceptible to her powers."

"What kind of rookie goes out to patrol without proper protection?"

"Did I ask you something or authorize you to speak, soldier?"

"No, sir; sorry, sir!"

"That’s better. To facilitate communication, all of you are now authorized to speak without asking for my permission. Regarding your question, I asked myself the same thing. God, I was an idiot at the age when my powers manifested, but I would never be foolish enough to dress like a clown and not wear the right protections."

"So you never thought of being a superhero, sir?"

"Me, a superhero? I’ve been hero enough serving my country for so long, only to be discarded for doing my job too well. It's not my fault the black ops were fun. But this business of a cape crusade would never give me the satisfaction I seek. Ok boys, enough of small talk, I want all equipment tested multiple times in the next hours. After that we will have some fun. We have a naive goodie to recruit and I plan to enjoy every minute of it!"

[nolita-fairytale]

did you ever end up writing the phone call blurb?? i am STRUGGLING to find it and im so desperate 😭😭😭

called you again (extended)

a/n: ok so i never got to writing the actual phone call that transpires between carmy and reader, that gets her to chicago in the first place. and if i recall correctly, @cool-girl-is-hot was also patiently awaiting this phone call. since i'm doing the follower celebration, what a perfect time for me to bring this back, @bunnywritesmarvel.

You answer the call before you can talk yourself out of it, immediately putting it on speaker. 

“Hi,” you say, your voice shaking a little. 

And it’s as if a fog clears, like you've been waiting to hear it for a long time.

“Hi,” he replies, his voice soft, yet hesitant.

You're met with a long silence on the end of the other line as the two of you dance around whatever it is Carmy called to say. There's a part of you that wants nothing more than to spill everything, lead the conversation like you always do, but after months of radio silence, you know you can't do that. If Carmy wants to reconnect, then he's got a whole of groveling to do considering he pretty much ghosted you since he moved back home.

"I uh. I heard," he finally says, in reference to your recent change of employment.

"Oh," you sound, your voice higher in pitch than you imagined it would be as you scramble to find a better word than 'oh.' "I... um. Yeah. My heart wasn't in it anymore."

What you want to say is, my heart moved to Chicago and forgot how his fucking phone works.

"Yeah," Carmy replies, and you can practically hear him pacing back and forth as he searches for something to say.

You share another silence, this one much more tense than the last, like a hot pot of water about to blow its lid off in pressure, as you wait for him to ask you something -- anything. How hard could it be?

How are you? What's been going on? Sorry I haven't called.

But he doesn't say anything of these things. Instead, when he finally speaks again, all he says is:

"So listen. I uh-, I got this guy. He’s- he’s self taught but he’s got a lot of potential,” Carmy explains, his delivery becoming more and more confident as he hides behind the work.

“He just needs a good teacher – someone to inspire him – give him some of the foundations he would’ve gotten in culinary school. I think uh, I think you'd like him.

So after four months of no contact he... needs something from you? You can't help the feelings of anger and disappointment that grow inside of you.

Was he upset that you quit the restaurant -- here to talk you into going back -- now that he needed a favor? A stage?

“Just for a week, maybe?" Carmy suggests, his voice going up at the end, almost as if it's a question.

"I can’t pay you much but uh, well we’ve got a little money, which is a whole other story, and I can talk to my brother-in-law. He can put you up somewhere… you know… if you want to. If that helps.” 

Oh.

He's asking you to come to Chicago.

While it feels like it changes things, you're still ambivalent and you certainly don't want to get your hopes up.

"Carmy..." you trail off on an exhale. "I don't know."

"Sure," Carmy nods, chewing on his lip, suddenly feeling extremely self conscious about asking you in the first place.

He wants to take it all back, tell you it was a stupid idea, and apologize for even saying something in the first place. But he doesn't. He can't. Because after working himself up to call you for the last few hours, there's no way he's going to back out now.

Let it rip, Bear.

"I uh... well, I understand. If can't-. Don't want to. Maybe I shouldn't've uh..." Carmy stammers through, the heat rising to his cheeks.

"It's just uh. Tim told me... you might be looking for some inspiration."

Right.

You pause before asking:

"Can I... Can I think about it?"

"Yeah. Yeah, of course. Sure," Carmy is quick to answer, because he really wants to make this okay for you.

For the both of you.

And because hearing your voice for the first time in four months feels better than he ever could've imagined.

"Okay. I'll uh... I'll think about it," you drag out, because you know you'll need some time to process this.

"Listen, I uh. I'm late to meet Liz. But I'll let you know. Either way."

"Yeah, okay. Okay," he answers, nodding eagerly.

"Okay," you reply, listening to Carmy bid you a soft spoken goodbye before ending the call.

"Holy shit," you hiss, putting your phone down on the table, your hand folded over your heart as you can feel it race.

Well, you've got quite the decision to make.

[tyttetardis]

Macbeth Q&A 18th Jan 2024 Part 1

Was lucky enough to get a ticket for the Member's Event at the Donmar Warehouse that took place on the 18th...with the price of the patronages I sure never thought I'd have gotten the chance, but luckily, they also let in some non-members 🥹❤️

The brilliant performance of Macbeth was followed by a very quick cleaning of the stage - thought for sure it would've taken them longer to remove the blood than like 5 minutes - followed by a lovely, little Q&A session.

The Q&A was led by Craig Gilbert (Literary manager) who talked to Annie Grace and Alasdair Macrae (Musicians and part of the acting ensemble) as well as Cush Jumbo and David Tennant.

Anyway, just gonna write down some of the stuff they talked about :) sorry if it's a bit messy! Might be spoilery if you haven't seen it yet but are going to!

To begin with Craig remarked that he didn't think he'd ever seen that many people staying behind for a Q&A before (While I was just wondering why some people even left!? Stressful!).

David introduced himself with "My real name is David "Thane of Paisely" Tennant - while Cush introduced herself with "I´m Cush Jumbo - there's only one of me".

First question was Craig asking them what it was that brought them to the Donmar to do Macbeth - to which David pretty much just replied that 1. It's the Donmar! 2. It's Macbeth! One of the greatest plays of all time in an amazingly intimate space - and that the theatre is famous for its quality of work. So he found it quite hard to think of a reason not to do it!

Cush said she'd worked there before and loves the theatre, how it's so intimate but also a great workspace. Followed by her saying she said yes because David asked her. She talked about how important it was for this play to do it together with the right actor playing opposite you.

David says Max Webster asked him about a year ago if he wanted to do the play - he gave him the dates - and since there weren't any obstacles in the way, David didn't have any excuse not to do it.

He then said that he had slightly avoided Macbeth - there sorta being the assumption that if you're Scottish and has done some Shakespeare plays before you have to do Macbeth. Which he joked was a bit odd since it's not like every Italian has to play Romeo. Then he mentioned that Macbeth is probably a bit more of a jock than he is - that it seemed more like a part for big, burly actors.

Max had laid out his initial ideas to David, a lot of which are in the final production, and David thought he seemed lovely, bright and clever and inventive plus it being the Donmar Warehouse! To which joked that he had last worked there 20 years ago - when he was 8 years old! "It's just one of those spaces" - friendly and epic at the same time where it's such a pleasure to be on the stage.

When Craig asked his next question concerning the sound of the play someone asked him to speak louder as she couldn't hear them - to which David joked that they've gotten so used to whispering. But also said sorry, and that they would!

Alasdair explained a bit about the process of the binaural sound - bit I find it a bit difficult to decipher it all correctly, sorry. He did say that a interesting part of it is that it allows them a controlled environment where they can put all the musicians (and even the bagpipes!) behind the soundproof box so "Poor David and Cush" doesn't have to shout over all the racket.

Craig asked David and Cush what their reaction was when they heard about the concept of the binaural soundscape - to which David replied that it didn't quite exist when they first came onboard - Cush joking they were tricked into it. Then she talked about her and David going on a workshop with Max to get a feeling of how it would all work - and get a sense of how it would sound to the audience, as this was one of the few times, they got to hear that side of it. Their experience of the play being completely different to the experience the audience has.

Cush said they can hear some of the sound - like she can hear some of the animal sounds and David can hear some of the stuff from the glass box - but most of their cues and information comes from timing with each other. She said they won't be able to ever hear what the audience hears - to which David joked "We're busy".

It felt like mixing medias - as it all went quite against their natural stagecraft instinct - but Cush found that in the long run it made things very interesting - like they don't have to worry about getting something whispered to each other - as the audience will hear it anyway.

David said the odd thing is that they don't really know what the experience truly is like. He mentioned that to the sides of the stage there's a speaker for them where they will get any cues that they need to hear. Like they can hear the witches - but they can't hear where they are "positioned" - so they have to learn how to place themselves to fit with what the audience hears. They don't hear everything, though. And the audio they hear is quite quiet, so it doesn't disturb what comes through the headphones.

He thinks it's been exciting - that it's a bit like a mix between film and theatre. It's happening live - but it's also like post-production is happening between them and the audience as it's going on. They just have to trust that the audience is hearing what they are supposed to for it all to make sense.

Cush said she thinks in 10 - 20 years, as these technologies has developed, doing theatre like this will feel a lot more normal - not that they will do it ALL the time, but that they will be doing it - whereas now it's still like an experiment. What Cush really like about the concept is that if was done in a much bigger theatre - then people in the cheapest seats would be able to have an experience much more similar to those in the most expensive seats - they'd be a lot more immersed into the action.

David then talks about how it feels extremely counterintuitive to not go on stage and speak loud enough that the people in the back row can also hear you. And usually, if they can't hear you, you aren't doing your job right! But then it felt very liberating. He loves it.

Cush then talked about how it felt odd waiting in the wings for a cue you can't hear - where you traditionally wait backstage and you can hear your cues, you can hear the rythm and know when it's your turn - so it was quite disconcerting to hear silence. So it's basically down to them now knowing the show and each other's timings - like if David is standing at a certain point, she knows how long she has before she needs to say/do something. So you have to watch each other more closely and really focus on what the others are doing.

David asked the musicians if they can hear everything inside the box, to which Annie replied that they get everything except some extra bits in the soundscape. But they can hear the actors on stage. Annie said it's actually a bit of a mystery to all of them what the audience actually experiences - how the big pictures actually look like - they just have to trust that it's there "Is it there?!".

Someone asked if they had had any adverse reactions from audiences to having to wear the headphones. Quite a bit of laughter all around :P then David said "There's the odd person" and something about if someone hadn't gotten the memo before turning up...but not sure how he ended the line. Then once again says that yes, there's the odd person who doesn't like it and that's fair enough.

The same audience member then said he could see the advantage of it in a big theatre where the distance is big, but not in a small place like the Donmar - to which David very quickly, rather passionately replied that it's not about projection, it's about being able to do things you wouldn't normally be able to do live - where they can speak so quietly that they can't even hear each other when standing next to each other. So even in such a small place, people wouldn't be able to hear that. It's about creating a different play - which isn't to everyone's taste and that's fair enough. But for a play that's been done a hundred and seven million times he thinks it's very valid to try and find a new way into the play - even if it's not for everyone.

Part 2

[k9emote]

My final response to every accusation made about me.

Hi. As basically, the entirety of emoteblr knows, I have had a lot of hatred, misinformation, and vague angry paragraphs thrown towards my community and me. Barely anyone has communicated what they're so mad about, but I'll try to stitch it all together from a few people who've spoken to me and answer the best I can. "You spread misinformation about number names! Not all number name trauma is RAMCOA!"

You're right! I misworded that because I hadn't known that RAMCOA wasn't the only source of number-name trauma. Because no one told me. I am a RAMCOA victim and have only heard of number-names related to RAMCOA. I didn't know other forms of abuse used number-names. I know that now thanks to a kind person who opened a ticket in my server, and I will edit my server rules accordingly. My opinion stays the same; people who haven't been abused/tortured etc with number names should not use them. I have met countless other victims who agree with me. You can call that an opinion of mine, sure! If you disagree, kindly block me. I am sorry to anyone I said "You can only use number names if you're a RAMCOA victim." to, I had meant that only people with number name trauma can use them to reclaim the name, I assumed RAMCOA was a broad enough term that it covered all types of number-name trauma, but I was mistaken. I'm sorry. That's all I will say on that matter.

"There was a misinformative carrd in your server that didn't explain RAMCOA correctly!" It's been spread that the carrd was mine! that is not true AT ALL. It was taken down a long time ago and replaced with a much better resource. I hadn't personally looked at the carrd because topics of RAMCOA often trigger me, my partner was the one to send the carrd. My partner had seen the carrd sent elsewhere and had no idea it had misinformation. It was used as a quick resource for someone to know what RAMCOA was, and as soon as a kind server member pointed out it wasn't a good resource literally minutes after it was posted, it was taken down and replaced. People make mistakes, and my partner fixed his almost immediately. If you are angry at that, then I'm sorry but you are REACHING for things to hate me for. "The guillotine (public ban) channel you have in your server encourages hate and death threats!"

I am deeply sorry to anyone who recieved any threats/hate/harassment from my public bans. I have always stated to never contact the people I ban , and it was listed in the channel description as well.

No one had EVER told me that they were receiving hate or threats after being banned, otherwise, I would've taken this channel down much sooner. I have yet to receive any proof of these claims or even speak to the victims themselves. I have only heard this passed around from outside people. When I have asked, I am refused evidence for the "sake of anonymity" which I respect but unfortunately cannot ban any individuals without user IDs or genuine reasons. The only thing I could do in response to this is take the channel down, which I have done.

On the topic of death threats, people have claimed that one of my mods was sending them... but refused to show any evidence or tell me who it was. I have spoken to my mods and all of them have said they would never, so I genuinely have no idea what to do. If anyone has further evidence, please contact me. Most of my mods don't even have an active account on tumblr.

A trend I am seeing with the people who are typing up long paragraphs on how I am toxic and immature are people I've banned for going against my boundaries, reposting hate towards me even after said hate was asked to be taken down by both me and the person I had wronged, and other vile behavior in my server. I have not been given descriptions or details on who feels wronged, so I can not apologize for any actions because I genuinely have no idea what I did. I have not come out to say anything not because I am hiding, but because I am lacking SO MUCH evidence or even witness testimony on what I've done wrong. I have no issue apologizing to people I might've hurt, but I cannot do so without a proper conversation with said people. The one person who offered to tell me things refused on multiple occasions to give me evidence, screenshots, direct conversations or any other sources of people explaining why they hate me. I was only given vague reasons and "maybes" To some individuals I know are spreading the hate about me; To Proxy. You were banned from my server because you were creating a story incredibly similar to RAMCOA experiences while not being a victim of any sort of torture yourself (which you stated.) You said you were allowed to have an OC with a number name because it was based off a media that did the same, and that it was a "lab rat character" and therefore didn't count. When I, a victim of the torture you were using for roleplay, tried to educate you on why it was still wrong no matter your intent, you threw a tantrum and refused to listen. You were clearly uneducated on all forms of numbername trauma and refused to understand when not only I, but multiple other victims were trying to explain why it was wrong. Your roleplay OC was more important to you than a victim asking you to stop. The way you spoke to me was vile, invalidating, belittling and triggering. I am not sorry for the anger I displayed when I was spoken to like my own abuser would speak to me. I had a right to be angry and I started off extrememly understanding and polite despite your actions. Your OC was also affiliated with Nazis and the holocaust, which is fucking disgusting. I don't care what comic/media/etc it's based off of. I don't care if it's fiction or if you don't intend to base it on real life matters. Fictionalizing things that are rooted from real trauma and genocides as someone who has not experienced either is a horrible thing to do. I hope you realize how sickening you've acted.

Proxies messages were accidentally deleted when we banned them, but heres a screenshot my partner took during the arguement. Oh and before I forget, Proxy claimed to be "proshipper neutral" because it was "just fiction." despite knowing what it entailed. They have since been educated, but I wanted to share that their opinion on "fiction does not equal reality" mind set is extremely harmful.

Their reasoning on why they thought it was fine! (both is proxy) ^ Proxy also sent something in my inbox that I responded to publicly, ignoring all that they had done and completely going against my DNI of them. You can see that on my blog. To Alexfroppy. You were banned because my mod pointed out to me that you had reposted a tumblr post promoting the hatred towards me and my community, between an issue I had with another creator who has since forgiven me. Both me and Lemon (the creator) asked the Original Poster to take it down. You still reposted, directly supporting something going against the boundaries of both creators involved. You say "well I also posted something against the threats." Great! That's the bare minimum and resposting something that got me threats in the first place completely contradicts and cancels out you discouraging it. We pulled you into a ticket and tried to politely explain what you did wrong, to which you replied carelessly and with an incredibly dry tone. It was clear to me you didn't care when you stated "I'm only here for the emojis" and never apologized. That is why you were banned.

This is the entire ticket conversation. They were not banned for "just liking and reblogging a post". They were banned for purposely reblogging something that went against both creators boundaries which inherently encourages threats and hate towards me no matter your intent. People say "Hey your guillotine/public ban channel is getting people threatened!" and I apologize and quickly take down the channel. I say "Hey your reblogs are getting me threatened" and I don't get an apology, nor did they take down the reblog and ended up joining the hate train and calling me immature and toxic for being terrified for my safety. To FleurDeMort / Pierce. I don't know if you're directly involved in any of this, but with how open you are about hating me and claiming I ban unfairly, I think It's safe to assume you are. You were originally banned for being involved in a drama that was making me break down and shut down as quickly as I could. I apologize for acting quickly out of fear, that is my fault, and I would've been more than happy to apologize to you directly just like I did the other person involved. However. I, after calming down, apologized for my passive agression and panicked actions a day or two afterwards. I unbanned the person I had directly spoke harmfully to, and apologized as did they. You typed out a message for the other person fighting me to send. It was filled with misinformation, was invalidating, ignored all my points in the debate, and was disrespectful.

If anyone wants more information on my view of this, I made a post here stating all the points that I made in this ticket that they completely ignored. You are an adult. You can be mad at me for being immature, but what does that make you? You , afterwards in anger, claimed that my ADULT MOD was "Jacking me off" for defending me.

That is fucking disgusting NO MATTER YOUR INTENT. I could give less of a fuck if that's an expression. I am an AMAB 16 year old and commenting that an adult who defended me was "jacking me off" at your grown ass age is fucking vile. There were a MILLION different expressions you could've used, but you chose that one. You have not apologized, you've only defended yourself in my friends servers and claimed that I am taking things out of proportion. Instead of apologizing and realizing that your angry statement was weird and sexual no matter your intent, you've chosen to defend yourself and throw a tantrum in partnered servers of mine about how you did no wrong.

Here's them opening a ticket in another server and defending themselves, so that people don't claim I'm not showing the full story. I acknowledge me and my mods didn't handle the situation correctly, I was dealing with a lot of stress and made bad decisions. That's my fault, and I am sorry. I have been forgiven by the person I hurt ( V ). They have forgiven me and are a happy active member in my server, and one of my main defenders. Here is all context provided to the "jacking k9 off" statement, just incase anyone wants to claim im not giving """Full context""" like Pierce has claimed.

This conversation wasn't even about me. They brought me up in a single sentence to say that my mod was "jacking me off" for not siding with them. I don't care what emotional state you were in, you're 19 saying that about an 18 and 16 year old. You should be ashamed. "It's an expression" does not give you an excuse to say that about a child just because you're angry. I am an AMAB 16 year old. Imagine if the roles were reversed and you were to say "They'er fingering k9!", you would get a lot more hate. My body as a male should be held to the same standard, expression or not. I make mistakes and apologize for them. You make mistakes and defend yourself. That is the line of difference.

Here's them being manipulative to V after V had forgiven me, and trying to excuse saying sexual things about a child because it was "taken out of context". Saying sexual things about an adult and minor is pedophilic. I know that's a heavy word. I mean it. Your intent doesn't matter. Think before you speak.

For my final message about this drama; The amount of hypocrisy in the accusations about me is hilariously pathetic. I am not here to defend myself, I am here to state the facts of what happened, to share my story with these banned members, and to state that still even after all the hate sent to me, I do not understand what I've done wrong besides ban people who have wronged me without remorse and make a few accidents in my communitcation. I have not ever used my age or mental state as an excuse for my actions. There is a huge difference between "I'm not sorry, It's not my fault, I'm a child and I'm mentally ill" And "I'm really sorry. I never meant to hurt anyone, I am still growing and not in a good place mentally. My actions have been influenced my by current mental health and I've made mistakes. I have apologized and will try my best to grow" which is my statement and what I've stated in the past. If anyone who I have wronged wants to DM me on tumblr or discord to explain their side of the story and be apologized to, I am completely open for that. I want nothing more than to fix my mistakes and make people happy. That has been my wish from the start. I never act on malicious intent, I've never encouraged threats towards those who have hurt me, and I will never do either of those things. I have over 1,000 members in my server who are constantly telling me how safe they feel in my community, how it's the only place they've actively spoken, how much they love my art and me, and I love them back. To all that have treated me like human and been unbiased in your view of the drama thrown at me, thank you. I love you all. You uplift my life and I couldn't possibly express my gratitude in words. I will continue making emojis for verbal accessability and I will continue to grow, be better, and mature in my responses to threatening or scary situations. You say I'm toxic for being confused and angry, for not reacting well to proofless accusations of my character as a person, of ignoring people who have no evidence or who wont even mention what I've directly done wrong. Yet you chase after my every mistake, you grab at my flaws that I work on every day to improve, and you use FORGIVEN ISSUES against me. This community is toxic because of people like you.

How hard was it for a single one of you to politely DM me and inform me on what I was doing wrong? How hard was it to maturely speak to me about what you think isn't okay? You call me immature yet you spread lies about me like a childrens game of telephone. I am sorry for anyone who I've hurt. I am not sorry for being human. Do not harass anyone I have mentioned in this. I do not condone hatred, even if they have encouraged it towards me. I am sorry if anyone takes what I've said as hostile. I am tired and angry of people demonizing me with little to no proof of what they claim. I am tired of sleepless nights wondering if someone is going to send me more threats or dox me. I am tired. /nav Thank you for reading.

[accioprocrastination]

One Day At A Time (Part 6/?)

Jake "Hangman" Seresin x reader

Summary: Hangman's fiancée is hospitalised and Jake waits for her to wake up

T/W: Anxiety, panic disorder, PTSD, POW, hints to torture, SA, abortion, pregnancy references, death

A/N: Sorry this got so much darker than I was expecting... Also as per I haven't proof read so ignore the grammar

Part 5 in case you missed it

Jake POV -

Jake wakes up stomach rumbling with a dead arm from clutching your hand as he sleeps. He momentarily breaks your hand hold to move his arm a bit, hoping to regain some feeling.

A consultant walks in smiling slightly at Jake as they make eye contact through the glass of the door.

"Morning." the doctor says walking in.

"Any news today?" Jake responds hopeful that you'll be coherent enough to talk to him soon.

The man proceeds to walk Jake through all of your bigger injuries - you arm and several ribs are broken; your ankle is sprained; they've operated on your shoulder to make sure it heals correctly. No haemorrhage from hitting your head but you might have a mild concussion.

"There's one other thing as well." The doctor says meeting Jake's gaze.

"I don't like that look doc, what is it?" Jake's nerves skyrocket from the doctor's obvious hesitation.

All of the colour in Jake's face drains as the doctor starts explaining to him what an ectopic pregnancy is. He shudders in repulsion as the doctor says the same thing in a slightly different way in an effort to fully express that it's not viable.

He cuts the doctor off when they start talking about treatment options. "I-I-I just need a minute." Jake says tears filling his eyes. "It's not about the abortion. I just need a minute to process that someone's done that too my Y/N." Jake tries to explain that this isn't a pro-life meltdown.

He doesn't see the doctor nod but he hears the man leave.

The second the door shuts Jake lets out a loud sob at the glimpse of what the last few years have looked like for you. He hunches over stomach clenching from worry - he knows that the minute you find that out that particular diagnosis, you're going to freak out.

Jake continues to cry he thinks back to the only other time you've been pregnant. The time that it was his kid and there were complications. Whatever bastard did this to you is going to unknowingly force you to relive that day.

Jake fruitlessly wipes his eyes on the sleeve of his hoodie then turns back to you face still wet from the tears silently falling down his cheeks. "This changes nothing with you and me sweets. I will be here every step of the way if you want me to." Jake says kissing your hand.

Having gone through a million emotions in the span of a few minutes Jake needs to step out of the room to try and let go of his rage.

*

Reader POV -

Every muscle In your body is tense in the knowledge that someone was nearby when you were trying to wake up earlier.

Wires and tubing press uncomfortably against your back. Why would they lie you over them that seems stupid?

You lie there controlling your breathing, eyes shut tightly just listening for signs of someone else.

I really don't want to open my eyes in case I'm not alone.

It's eerily quiet. All you can hear is the faint buzzing of tinnitus in your ears and a machine steadily beeping.

Okay, no one else is here, you tell yourself before gently opening your eyes. You scan the otherwise empty hospital room frowning in confusion. You're not sure whether someone was next to you or whether you dreamt that someone was in the vacant chair by your side?

There's fresh flowers and a card on the windowsill, so someone has been here.

A male nurse walks in as you try to disconnect from the machines behind you.

"Please don't do that! You're in the hospital." He says to you.

God my head is pounding.

"I got out?" you murmur in response, so drained that even talking is more of an effort than it has been recently.

"Yes you got out. You're okay." He confirms.

You nod slightly in recognition of what he just said, but mentally you completely disagree that you're okay right now.

"How's the pain on a scale from one to ten?" He questions.

Groaning in pain you shift slightly, you don't verbalise the feeling that you can only imagine is similar to being hit by a bus. Instead you ask "Can I self discharge?"

"It would be strongly against our medical advice if you were to self discharge right now. I would recommend that you stay here under observation and on the IV for a few more days." He grimaces at the prospect of you leaving this room.

"I'm not staying here." You exclaim, wincing slightly as you rip out a needle from your arm.

"Let me just go get a consultant to talk everything through with you and if you still want to leave after that, then you can." The nurse says hesitantly before jogging out of the room. I think he must be new to the role.

The door to your room opens and you suddenly understand the nurse's hesitancy as two police officers walk in.

You try to dart into an upright position to be more alert but whimper at your body's reluctance to move. The agony radiating from your left arm is unbearable. I can't imagine what sitting up would've felt like if that hadn't put my arm in this sling.

"Oh great you're awake!" The young police lady says standing pencil straight by the side of your bed ready to start questioning you.

"You're in the hospital, do you know what happened?" The guy questions you.

"What happened to Ghost?" You begin your own interrogation for answers.

"High on painkillers?" The female officer turns to the man who shakes his head.

"Was that your back seaters callsign?" He queries.

"Yeah. Is h-h-" You nod but you're cut off by the officer.

"It was instant. He wouldn't have felt anything." He answers without making you ask.

You cover your eyes with the palms of your hands fighting to regain a semblance of composure at how abysmal that news makes you feel.

The anxious ringing in your head eventually subsides and you remove your hands from your face. You're somehow still surprised to see that the officers stayed for however long it took for you to be able to fake okay.

"I need to go home." you admit quietly more to yourself than to them. You don't articulate that you just want to blanket cocoon on your sofa while Jake silently assures you that everything is going to be fine.

Your hands quiver slightly at the reality that he might not have waited for you; your home might not even be your home anymore.

Thoughts torrent your mind before you finally muster the courage to ask the room what date it is.

"April the 8th" The police lady answers.

"W-w-what year is it?" You speak up. The police man standing silently in the doorway looks horrified at the prospect that you might not know that but he interjects and answers you anyway.

"Shit." You respond in momentary disbelief that it's been that long.

I mean it felt like forever but I had convinced myself it had been a couple of months and i'll go home to everything the same.

"Jake thinks I've been dead for four years?" tears flood your eyes and your voice breaks, for the first time in years it's not from disuse.

How the fuck am I meant to go home after that amount of time?

If he hasn't moved onto someone else, surely he would've at least mourned you. If he's said goodbye to you like that how is it fair to suddenly reappear?

None of this is fucking fair.

Ghost should be here too.

*

Jake POV

Jake's heart drops to the floor as he carefully opens your room door to reveal an empty bed. From the haphazard sheets and wires flung across the room, he knows that no one has taken you into surgery without consulting him.

You're still in fight or flight mode.

He discards his unopened sandwich on the table and runs to the nurse's station.

"Room 26 - where is she?" Jake asks the guy behind the desk.

"She asked to self discharge; she's gone." he shrugs.

"She's gone?" Jake clarifies.

"Yep. If you can convince her to come back to hospital I think that would be in her best interest." He responds.

Five minutes - I was gone for five fucking minutes. Jake flings himself down the stairs, running at full speed to the exit.

He forces himself to stop when he's out of the hospital. He glances over everyone in the immediate vicinity.

You have to be here somewhere. And yet you're not here.

Where on earth would you go?

After all this time would you go home?

Home is fucking miles away - how would you get there with no phone and no money?

Jake's heart pounds in his chest as he walks to his car. He walks at a snail's pace so that he can check everyone that crosses his path isn't you.

I'll find you. I promise I'll find you.

Part 7

Masterlist

Tags:

@inthestars-underthesun

@rainy-darling

@emma8895eb

@tgmreader

@ems-alexandra

@djs8891

@els-marvelvsp

@lets-turn-and-burn

[nebula-remnants]

oh man... you have no idea what i'm about to drop on you all.

HEY!!! so. I made a GIANT list of headcanons for Sun and Moon that are all autism related since I have an excuse to now. I gave twitter a warning but I forgot to here so sorry to anyone who clicks to keep reading and goes into this post unprepared.

I did want to make an attempt to make this easy to read so, Green is just going to be for regular but still have some in depth meaning for why it's on this list, Orange is for a headcanon that is more serious!! I try to word myself correctly and explain why these ones are important in the case of accurate. (sometimes PAINFULLY accurate) representation. I wanted to go in depth for symptoms that are less discussed. so i'm going to discuss them the best I can regardless because their just as important to representation. ideas that stray from canon and are more my interpretations of how I think they'd act in certain situations will be pink

Both get frustrated when you mess with their stuff (this could just be a cleanliness deal for the daycare exclusively, however the barrels aren’t exactly a major mess since there are so few of them, so it can also be taken as wanting items a certain way. I kind of headcanon it as a bit of both tbh

I think Sun would have a strong sense of justice. He is a “hero” character as far as old theater traits go. And his canon behavior suggests he’s both petty and controlling of his environment. I believe those traits are a result of his current situation, but with this headcanon a sense of justice would go in perfectly because it means he’s strongly bound to his moral beliefs. Now it’s good to mention a strong sense of justice is NOT always a good thing!! Having a strong sense of justice does not automatically mean someone has all the correct moral beliefs, but it can sometimes make people self righteous (especially when they aren’t self aware.) but anyways moral righteousness does not always mean correctness!! I really like this headcanon especially because it’s complex, it falls into morally gray areas. Has good intentions but can hurt people by accident. Some of this applies to Moon too but I have less canon material to work with.

I think Moon would go COMPLETELY non verbal when upset, but it would go easily unnoticed because people might just assume he’s always quiet. which y'know. isn't okay obviously, but for his circumstance I do feel it would be at least accurate.

I don’t think they would know about being autistic themselves. LET ME EXPLAIN. So if the Fallfest thing is right they’re potentially from the 70s, that makes them old. Plus they’re robots. It’s not like someone realistically would go and diagnose them with autism, unless like, the guy that made them was autistic and was projecting onto them HARD. but what i’ve noticed from older family members that went nearly their whole life without a diagnosis?? They kind of just. Suffer and think it’s normal. My father has ADHD and kind of went most of his life thinking he was just a problematic kid in school, actually i still think he does 😭 (spoiler: he had a hard time focusing on subjects he wasn’t hyper fixated on and was treated without any accommodations even considered) the reason i bring this up for Sun and Moon is i think they sort of just go about their business thinking it’s normal and everyone experiences those things. So basically I think they’d be undiagnosed in the fnaf universe (or could have some outdated information about autism stored somewhere, like I even did a few years ago. because in my opinion I haven't really seen any widespread information until more recently and that's how I found out LATER in my life, when some damage was already done). Someone tell them please

I think masking would be minimum, they probably try a little bit but give up and decide they don’t care anymore (like I said, it’s possible that they’re older, so give them a break)

On the topic of not being aware of symptoms I headcanon Moon (or at least pre security breach one, maybe, idk) as the kind of autistic to have a hard time realizing he’s upsetting or genuinely scaring people. He’s being whimsical, but like, wouldn’t realize unless specifically told so. I don’t believe a potential nicer form of moon would be there to intentionally hurt people (i don’t like the idea of him being evil just BECAUSE) but i think he could still cause all kinds of distress by accident. I certainly don’t think he’s shy (and i believe Kellon Goff corrected himself in a later tweet and said Moon wasn’t exactly shy himself but he used a shy part of his life to bring Moon to life, if i remember correctly (correct me if i’m wrong bruh i don’t wanna misquote the man himself 😭)) Canon Moon probably isn’t shy but instead he gets to be fluent in being awkward in a conversation

I mean don’t get me wrong I adore the idea of shy moon but it’s most likely not going to be anything we see in canon. But in an au? Or in your own headcanon? Go crazy, make that man shy, be a little self indulgent. You’re not required to stick to canon to a tee.

I definitely think Sun and Moon would have clashing sensory needs. being opposites but also having a common root in an issue whether they want it to be there or not is like their whole thing. A lot of clashing except maybe the clicking they do. They fidget and click a LOT and the clicks are so pleasant to my brain so i think that could be maybe a similarity. As far as clashing sensory needs I think, y’know, if they were to be given separate bodies, because I actually really like that idea of seeing how their dynamic plays out that way (lots of fighting, so much fighting)... I DONT CARE IF IT MOST LIKELY WON’T BE A THING IN CANON BECAUSE OF THE DYNAMIC STEEL WOOL IS LEANING INTO SHSHHSHSHSH I CAN DREAM. 

Anyways I think Moon would have sensory issues related to lights (duh) and sound (MAYBE sun for sound too, if he has less control of it. Just because he’s generally louder doesn’t mean he couldn’t have an issue with unwarranted sound. And if anything, in the daycare I think that would contribute to his burnout MORE.) thought i definitely think Moon would be more reactive to noise and lights considering he’s much less used to them (that doesn’t exactly dwindle sun’s ability to become overstimulated to a sound because he’s used to it, but he might have a much more subtle response to it after a while like the snappy behavior/burnout in hw2. While I imagine Moon for once having a much more obvious response. (kind of like how he reacts to the lights in ruin but probably only half as much)

I think they both reacted to overstimulation through getting snappy, so like in an au where they’re physically separated and they have clashing sensory needs that’s… an easy argument starter. Visibly doing some small behavior that screams irritation on Sun’s part. And moon probably stares at you, but angrily (you can’t tell because he doesn’t have fucking eyelids)

I think the movements they do in canon are some form of stimming. Like I mentioned before, I think they enjoy the clicking. Moon does the movements with his head and rotating his face a LOT. and i began associating it with stimming a while ago. As for negative stims when stressed and anxious. Their wires are exposed. There may not be evidence for it but maybe that’s something they mess with. Also, no evidence for this but I felt like there damage in ruin was both from the situation and themselves, can be taken as a more self destructive (kind of like how scratching/hair pulling can be considered stimming at times for humans) but most likely accidental form of this. Or more likely a stress habit and causing more damage from fighting for control (idk man I kind of lost myself on this one)

Also!! The staff bot parts in their room, and later in Ruin more parts from endos are present. I think they fidget with parts on occasion. This strays from autism related headcanons but Those parts being there in the first place i think is Moon’s doing, and based on his behavior in ruin along with similar cases recorded in security breach i take it as frustration/misguided anger. And eventually because those parts are yk, there after Moon did whatever it is he may have done, i wouldn’t be surprised if the stuff in their room is occasionally fidgeted with as a distraction. The only evidence I really have for this is that in Ruin those items are all sorted. Someone was doing something as a distraction.

There’s no way they would be flirted with in a roundabout way and immediately understand, you need to be DIRECT AND TELL THEM WHAT YOU WANT!!!

I think Sun might easily misinterpret all kinds of things he's told, and be completely confident with his interpretation, while while recognize when he's a little unclear, decide it's probably not important if someone wasn't being clear, and then forget.

For whatever possible circumstance this would EVER come up I don’t think Moon would enjoy phone calls, nor would Sun but I think he likes yapping so he’d probably talk your ear off and then get really sidetracked. Moon would just respond with simple one word answers, or not all (me, i do that, i’m projecting) I don’t think Moon is shy in canon but i do headcanon he just, sucks at holding up a conversation (projecting again)

basically canon but hypo verbal Moon and hyper Verbal sun. (this gets a little too personal and realistic and a second) I just want to say that because it’s a trait associated with autism and instead of them just being considered too quiet or too loud, they are literally just being themselves. This also goes along with the idea where they wouldn’t realize they have autism, and just think whatever they’re doing is considered normal for everyone else so hey might recognize people think of them poorly but might not realize what someone has a stick up their ass about until someone is like “ermm you talk too much/too little 🙄” actually i definitely think they would get criticized on a daily basis for that. I have my own ideas about how they would react in an immediate situation vs over time after being told over and over again. And basically, I think Moon would kind of… NOT react at first but it would get to him later on and that’s when he goes completely quiet or makes sure to avoid people. I think Sun would react negatively on the dot (in one way or another) and stew in frustration for a bit, and sometimes it might come back to him on occasion.

A part of me wants to believe moon is capable of yapping but he spaces it out, like I think he’d randomly tell you a fact and then go quiet for a while. OR!!! OR!! He’d tell you a joke then wait for you to laugh as he stares at you intensely and silently.

I think Moon would mutter to himself a lot, but so quiet and muddled from an outside perspective it's completely incoherent. Sun too but a little easier to hear. Speak out loud in a quiet voice but still loud enough that still makes people briefly pause wandering if he’s speaking to them.

What if they were both heat sensitive… imagine getting to go outside (if they were part of Fallfest than maybe first time and years) but it’s during the summer, and they're both fatigued and miserable. I see a lot of people say sun would absolutely love summer, but considering if he is from Fallfest, and assuming they shut off animatronics when not in use, he’d realistically he might not even be used to summer at all. Then in this case it would actually be sort of an ironic situation where he grows to dislike summer heat.

okay ya'll I think it's done for NOW. I have a few I left out because they were half baked, or too vague for what I wanted to say so I may edit or add onto this in the future. a whole load of this ideas are also things I wanted to implement into my AU so!!

UGRHHHH IK I HAVE AUTISM BUT ITS NOT LIKE I EXPERIENCE EVERYTHING MENTIONED HERE SO I HOPE I DIDN'T MESS UP ANYTHING BUT LET ME KNOW!!

[neriumxoleander]

If you could explain, I'm only learning this now! What's going on with Gato? I've only seen vague posts but I know all social media is gone (because by god fucking twitter apparently) I've seen from the fake gatobob account post about recent events and I'm soo confused. Could you please shed some more light on this? If you are as clueless as I am, you don't need to respond. - @your-very-own-anon (mod speaking)

Sorry for the late response, I've been trying to retag some things while I'm focused on this account for once. I'll try to be brief? please don't take me as the authority on this, I just happened to get into the tags while it was unfolding earlier today. still going under a read more though. i suppose a tw for mentions of racism and xenophobia are warranted. And please do not interact if you are a minor or have no age listed on your blog, I will block you.

Gato deleted her social media accounts this morning (tumblr, twitter, pillowfort) and explained on patreon it was for her mental health and safety (which... safety? hm) and someone here immediately claimed the gatobob url. which happens, it's tumblr. but this person is using it basically as a callout center.

the callout seems to be about an incident that happened in the patreon exclusive discord server before it got shut down a couple months ago. tldr according to this person, someone (a mod?) made a racist comment towards someone, and gato apparently handled the situation poorly and neither her or the mods apology were really that great. I was in the server as a lurker more than anything, but I don't remember being there when this happened.

other people sending in asks to this new gatobob account have also been calling her out for xenophobia, but I have a feeling that's looking a little bit too much into statements she's made about her games being redistributed in Russia and Spain specifically if i recall correctly.

this new blog is demanding gato and the aforementioned mod properly apologize for their behaviour, but in my opinion, this is a really weird and bad way to go about it. Smart to use her url as a way to boost the problem, but... I haven't seen any solid evidence besides some very vague screenshots, none of them including the racist remarks (the screenshots they've posted so far definitely aren't good responses or apologies if they ARE linked to this incident, and it should have been taken seriously) And the victim from the racism incident is NOT the person running the new gatobob account, so it feels very weird to me that this person is taking it upon themselves to stir everyone up and demand things from gato and the mod.

as far as I can tell, gato hasn't said anything about this on patreon, although she's likely taking her separation from social media very seriously. If she is aware (and I'm sure she's getting plenty of DMs about this on patreon), she'll likely make a post there addressing it in the next couple days, but that's just speculation.

I'm keeping a mostly neutral stance in this whole thing, but I'm encouraging people to not interact with this new gatobob account. There's nothing we can really do; they aren't impersonating her, posting anything against ToS as far as Im aware, and people have been hoarding urls for years. Just... listen and learn, I think is all I can suggest. Form your own opinions, but don't go on a witch hunt about it, if that makes any sense.

I'll try to answer other questions, but I'm just one guy on the internet who doesn't usually get tangled with things like this. Please be patient.

[sagasolejma]

HOLY SHIT I ACTUALLY MALE-FAILED TODAY AND GOT GENDERED CORRECTLY FOR THE FIRST TIME IN MY LIFE, I WAS LITERALLY CRYING OUT OF HAPPINESS

I SOMEHOW MALE-FAILED WHILE WEARING CARGO PANTS, A JACKET, A TERRIBLE MASCULINE HAIRCUT AND MASCULINE GLASSES. I'M STILL NOT EVEN SURE I BELIEVE IT REALLY HAPPENED, IT HAPPENED SEVEN HOURS AGO AND I STILL HAVE BUTTERFLIES IN MY STOMACH, ITS THE FIRST TIME I'VE EVER BEEN GENDERED CORRECTLY IN MY LIFE.

So yeah I had to return some pants that didn't fit me to a clothing store, and the cashier apparently had some trouble with it so she had to call up two of her co-workers. Now the first cashier probably thought I was male since I spoke to her (I haven't voice trained a lot and even then I just use my natal male voice as I was sure I didn't pass) but when the two other workers came to help I didn't say anything. Suddenly they began to talk and started saying stuff like "does she still have the receipt?" and "did she want to buy these clothes? Ohhhh she wanted to return them"

(for context we don't use sir or ma'am in Denmark so the only way to tell what gender people think you are is if you overhear them talking about you, which basically never happens, so I always assume everyone genders me male, but I guess now I'm not so sure haha)

They said stuff along those lines multiple times always gendering me female, I was glancing back at my friend who was behind me like "HOLY SHIT DID YOU ALSO HEAR THAT??!!?!!" and like honestly I don't think I've ever been as happy in my life as a I was in that moment. I didn't have a lot of doubts about my gender, but the ones I have got obligated cause holy shit it just felt so *right.* It felt so natural. Like this is how I am meant to be referred to. It felt like, for the first time in my life, someone was actually seeing *me.*

It also couldn't have happened at a better time honestly... Just two days ago I was crying my eyes out because I thought I would never, ever be recognised as a woman. Recently my dysphoria and outlook on my future has been extremely bad. I got diagnosed with crippling body dysmorphic disorder a few days ago too. There's been moments where I even thought about giving up on being trans, because I felt like no matter what I did, I probably would never be able to lead the life I want to live. People, both on Reddit and irl, have been telling me for a while now that I look more feminine than I believe myself, but I've always excused it by telling myself they're just being nice to not hurt me, but I guess I can't really excuse or explain what happened today in any other way. Obviously my first thought was that it was just because of the hair, but I don't even have a feminine haircut at all. Silly brain.

Anyways, I'm genuinely sorry if this sounds like a bragpost, I guess I just really wanted to share this. It's such a stupid little thing, but it has just completely changed my outlook on my life and my possibilities. Up until now I haven't even *tried* presenting fem outside of some pics I've posted on Reddit, since I thought it would be foolish to even do so, and I thought I wouldn't be even close to passing anyways even if I did, but if someone can gender me female while I'm presenting completely masculine, then surely there's gotta be some hope for me in the future once I come out and start presenting fem, right? I want to hope so at least.

Thank you for reading this, I love you all <3

-Saga

[iamthat-iam]

"In order for me to diminish a circumstance in the reality of my character, I must stop paying it attention and start paying attention to the things I feel like experiencing." what you reblogged from vesora. how to know the difference between ego ignoring/avoiding a circumstance and then daydreaming of a preferred circumstance with no change ocurring because ego can't change things, and then self not paying attention and instead paying attention to the circumstance that it wants to experience? also that means that i couldn't just say a circumstance isn't real for it to cease existing, i'd have to actively imagine something new by using mind of me/ego? "If I notice the character desires something, I do not try to fulfill her as that would be trying to fit a puzzle piece where it doesn’t belong. Instead, I start becoming aware of a person who has the things I wish to experience. Everything is at my disposal. I am at peace. I crave nothing, I fear nothing." i think vesora explains it here, but it sounds to me like LOA just in different words. if they talk about both on their blog, sorry, i haven't had time to check but that specific post was tagged with nd. also whenever things do change, i trace it back and it feels to me that ego's action (using thoughts, mental images, deciding something is) made the change, not something else. i then think that maybe i am using LOA, but if I were to think about ND, i made LOA up. it is a made up belief and practice. but also if i were to believe that i am consciousness and create everything, or in other words, have that assumption - i am practicing LOA. i know that in the end it doesn't actually matter - but thinking loops like that knock me out of things sometimes.

'how to know the difference between ego ignoring circumstances vs self not paying attention and being aware of something new'

The difference is expecting something out of focusing your awareness elsewhere. When you do it from ego, you're doing it with the intention to change what ego sees. So for example you do a visualization technique and then wait for something to happen after you're done. Doing it from Self is knowing you were never ego and the circumstances aren't yours. You're *being* this new person, focusing entirely on the present moment, not waiting for anything to happen because you are it, now.

'it sounds like LOA with different words'

In LOA you are fulfilling ego by reassuring it that it already has what it wants through techniques. In ND you're giving up the ego identity and merely choosing between different characters/experiences. That's why it's not the same.

If you want the circumstance to go away you can absolutely say it's not real. The situation will sort itself out on its own. You don't have to 'imagine' anything with the mind. I think what Sora meant you have the option of focusing on a specific scenario you felt like experiencing, rather than the circumstances. Its not required, taking your attention away from the problem and just not identifying with it is enough.

At the end of the day all concepts are made up, created by Self, so you are right in saying that LOA is a made up practice.

If I didn't interpret your post correctly @vesora feel free to correct me and clarify things for this anon!

[violetlunette]

If I remember correctly you haven't mentioned your Yuu in Cloudcalling (Tamashina Mina) event? Lol I imagine him not wanting to tag along, in fact, with Lilia out of his way, he could finally spend some quality time with his Moonshine! And Lilia just went "as if I'd ever let that happen" and forcefully drag him to the festival. (Leona is Not amused 🤣)

Lol, pretty much.

Yuu and his devious mind sees an opportunity. Lilia knows it and insists quite hard:

Lilia: It’s not good for you to stay inside so often with dead people. Some might think you’re a necrophiliac. Inner Lilia: If you think I’m going to let you harass my boy in my absence, you’ve got another thing coming, you wolf!--Sorry, Jack. Yuu: It’s sweet that you’re so considerate of Grim and I, but we couldn’t trouble Leona like that. It makes more sense for you to go and make memories instead. Inner Yuu: Especially as they’ll likely be some of your last, old man! (note: Yuu has no idea of his relation to Silver at this time but knows Lilia’s age as Malleus showed Lilia to him in a history book.) Leona: Oi! Don’t I get a say?

In the end, Leona does not get a say. Lilia grabs Yuu the next day and keeps a vice grip on him until they arrive in the savanna.

Once he gets there, Yuu has a lot of fun at the elephant grave yard as, well, he likes bones! He tries to bring one to life till Leona and Vil stop him. The one annoyance is that vultures keep following Yuu around as he looks like a dead fish. Leona's advisor thinks that Yuu's appearance is the fault of Leona till Vil explains that it's because the other is reckless. (Note: For those not in the know, Yuu has bruises over his body due to his equipment always going BOOM and not dodging.)

[lizzie-queenofmeigas]

My Opinions Of TVDU In 2024

(They really haven't changed all that much but I feel like sharing)

–I loveeee Delena. Yep, I love this ship with all my heart and I'm not afraid to say it.

–I loveee Damon, probably another problematic opinion but I don't care.

–I don't like Caroline. There, I said it. She is just the kind of person that would irritate the shit out of me. Honestly, until season 8 I couldn't handle her scenes.

–Bonenzo is the best. Loveee it. They deserved better and I personally want to stab Julie Plec for how they ended.

–Bonnie deserved better. This is an universal truth.

–I hate Tyler, but I recognise that he was right to hate Klaus and right to be mad at Caroline for sleeping with him. Revenge on Klaus was kind of dumb, but understandable. He was right to want him dead.

–Klaus is my beloved, always going to be and I'm not even sorry.

–Marcel is a Mikaelson!!! Marcel is Klaus's son and his treatment is another reason for me to feel murderous to the writers of the shows.

–I don't like Kol. Yeah, he was right in many things, but he came across as somehow self-righteous and believed himself better than his family. Like bro, you aren't.

–Finn deserved better. I honestly still wonder if Finn knew about Klaus's real father, 'cause if he did Klaus would have a valid reason to hate him. I am saying this because in The Originals season 2 episode 3 we have flashbacks of young Klaus and the necklace Esther gave him. If I remember correctly Finn was always in the background and even retrieved the necklace when Klaus lost it. Given that Finn remembered Freya and what happened to her, it wouldn't be far fetched to think he knew who Klaus's real father was and hid it as well. That being said, he is a victim of his parents as well and deserved better.

–I hate Elijah. He just gives me the wrong vibes.

–Marcel and Rebekah made sense and I ship it. The Mikaelson family is insane with their romantic relationships, so they just sort of clicked.

–Kol should have taken the cure instead of Rebekah. Bekah could just adopt, but what is going to happen with Kol when Davina dies? Nothing good. Plus, he loved being a witch.

–Hayley and Klaus and Klaus and Cami made way more sense than Haylijah and Klaroline. Honestly and throuple with Klaus and the two women who call him out on his shit the most would have been chef kiss. Hope deserved two moms.

–Every Klaus ship made more sense than Caroline. Bonnie? Bennett witch and he likes witches. Aurora? First female vampire (other than Bex) and met him when he wasn't as he is now. Elena? Has Tatia's face, and I think if Klaus just tried to befriend her and explain why he needed to break his curse she would've helped. Camille? Her mind, she clocked him the moment they met, not to mention the O'Connell legacy. Genevieve? Powerful Witch. Hayley? Baby mama, werewolf princess and hybrid, not to mention they are similar. Stefan? The ripper days gave off fruity vibes. Damon? I love their scenes together, they have a similar vibe to them. Rebekah? He is literally killing her boyfriends left and right. Elijah? The codependency is strong here, Elijah's girlfriends have a higher mortality rate than Rebekah's boyfriends. Katherine? Tatia's face, also they are similar. Greta? Their few interactions in season 2 pointed to a thing going on.

–Elena is overhated. Baby has the biggest survivor's guilt in the universe and still she soldiers on. I hate when people said she was less compassionate as a vampire, I honestly thought she was the same. Like, she controls her hunger to become a doctor. She is too good for this world.

–Enzo should have been introduced sooner, Bonnie and him should have gotten together sooner.

–They should have explored Damon's trauma with Augustine more, and the fact that he always disregards his emotions.

–Klaus wolf side should have been explored!!!

–Unpopular opinion, but not everything Katherine did was necessary for her to survive. She could have easily contented herself with one Salvatore brother, but she had to go after both.

–Davina and Klaus needed more scenes together. I mean, that's her adoptive grandpa!

–Lily was awful, Damon was in his rights to not forgive her.

–I liked Valerie, and I liked her with Stefan.

–They should have explained more about Klaus ability to have children, 'cause that was weird. I loved it, but weird.

–Alaric should have died and the twins should have been raised by someone else.

–Matt lived too long.

–Jeremy and Damon were kind of funny.

–Bamon was really great.

–They should have addressed the fact that growing up Damon was the only one there for Stefan. We saw that in the flashbacks but they should have said it more.

–Damon purpose in life was to live for those he loved. My take on him.

–Damon was pretty humanity-full vampire until after Augustine when he turned off his humanity. But, five years of torture in the hands of humans would do that to a guy.

–The witches opinion on vampires were ridiculous. This species has been around for over a millennium, they are pretty assimilated in the magic ecosystem. I think their extinction would actually do more damage than their existence.

–Mikael and Esther deserved more pain.

–I think Dahlia only tried to negotiate with Klaus not only because he was Hope's father but because he was the only one who wasn't Mikael's son.

–Vampire/Supernatural politics are actually so interesting.

–Lexi was too hyped. And I don't get what she had against Damon in the forties.

–Legacies doesn't exist.

That's all. For now.