#sorry if I disappoint anyone
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🚨PLEASE READ🚨
Hey everyone this is really important and I just really need to get it out because for the past couple of days I haven’t been feeling like myself and I know that might sound dramatic but I haven’t ever felt this way. It’s like I barely sleep at night. It’s like every week there is one night where I just can’t fall asleep and it gets frustrating. I get up in the morning and I have no energy and it’s like I just want to go back to sleep. I have like no motivation and no energy to do anything! I know it’s mostly my anxiety since I have so much I need to get done. I’ll do stuff that I know needs to get done but anything else I have nothing in me to do it. I feel like I’m forcing myself to do stuff and it’s just becoming way too much and I keep holding it in which I know is bad because I’m not supposed to be doing that. I don’t have a social life. Yes I’ve been going places this summer and yes it’s getting me out of the house but that’s the only time. I feel like I’ve been trapping myself and I don’t know why. It’s like I’m looking at people my age and they are going out with friends and having a good time and here I am staying in my room all day just making up my own reality. I think I need time off from at least posting because I think it’s not helping me and I’m tired of putting on a mask. So, I’m sorry but the upcoming one shots are being pushed back until I just get my energy back and I start to feel like myself again because right now I don’t feel like myself at all. I’m sorry if I disappointed anyone! Hopefully I’ll be back soon.
-Stephanie
#i’m taking a break#please read#IMPORTANT READ#PLEASE READ IT’S IMPORTANT#My mental health comes first#something I’ve been holding in this whole week#I need to step back#sorry if I disappoint anyone#all writings are on hold until further notice#nothing is coming out anytime soon#🚨🚨🚨
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not to be joyful and optimistic on main but there is literally no news about veilguard that could dampen my excitement for veilguard 💕
#I am going to enjoy myself no matter what. sorry I know that's tragically uncool of me#I know others are disappointed. this is not a commentary on anyone else's feelings. I just know i'm going to have fun anyway#datv#veilguard#dragon age the veilguard#da4#da:tv#dragon age veilguard
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sorry I got posessed by the wattpad demon I'm normal now (lying)
+alt version that didnt fit the #aesthetic but it better represents my #vision of them ^_^ hashtag couplegoals
#I am not immune to 'she can fix him'-ism. jk that's not why I like them#got#game of thrones#joffrey baratheon#margaery tyrell#my art#sorry 2 the marg fans I haven't drawn her in so long and this is what I give you. if it makes you feel better I'm also disappointed#ok jokes aside im actually really happy w the like. messy scrapbook vibe it was so fun :3 I need to do it more ^o^#I'm so jealous of people who fill up their canvas like this n I finally did it yipeee#whats their ship name btw is it just a slightly misspelled version of one of their names that would be funny. does anyone even ship them#...I know what this looks like but um ackchually I like them in a ironypilled divorcecel way. it's different -_-#and I also like drawing them being cute but um its because ☝ um. well its fun :3
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Also idk if anyone’ll see this but if you can financially afford to support watcher streaming but don’t want to, maybe consider putting that money towards Palestinian aid, Palestinian GoFundMes, your local food bank or any local charities! I think that would be a better use for those $6/£5!
#trying to put some good back out into the world!#watcher#palestine#free palestine#charity#gofundme#to anyone feeling bad about anything at the moment I’m sorry and I hope it gets better#I understand why they’ve made the change. but it’s a disappointing change nonetheless
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Based on somewhat real events
I spent way too much time drawing this...
But yeah, Ford finally saying thank you
A continuation (kinda)
#sometimes my skin smells too strongly and I hate it. I wanna crawl up and die. it's not that bad usually#only when I'm already overstimulated#there were 2 times where I was sick and I started crying and almost threw up because the smells were too strong#one time the smell of tge city. the other time it was roasted chicken. I still feel sick when I smell reheated chicken to this day#I'd love to have someone comfort me and rub my back in these moments but 1. I don't want anyone to touch me and#2. I feel like I don't deserve to be touched because it's an inconvenience to others#anyway enough about me. I am now projecting in these characters#I hate drawing their faces so much#gravity falls#stanford pines#ford pines#young stanford pines#stan pines#stanley pines#young stan pines#art#fanart#traditional art#comic#long post#watercolor#forgot to mention but I can't take a shower when the sun is still up except if I was swimming in a pool/sea. no specific reason I just can'#projecting to Ford because Stan would never feel like that :/ oh well#is this cringe? maybe. probably. do I care? no. not really#I'm self diagnosing myself with 'definitely something wrong but not further specified' because this can't be normal#btw sorry if this is disappointing. I tried my best (the first part is pretty neat imo)#wonder if anyone is gonna read all of these tags#is this the worst thing you've seen yet?#teen stan#teen ford
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having seen at least the rough outlines of all the romances now I have to say that I think emmrich's is probably objectively the best in terms of coherence and completeness of story arc (with the understanding that ultimately the 'best' romance is whichever one makes YOUR heart sing anyway so objectivity is a silly thing to claim that way, it just felt like it's the arc with the most well-paced focused content and the least dangling threads)... but lucanis' is my favourite haha. just. the whole kneeling before your beloved full of reverence but without any of the distance that usually implies??? his complete undramatic certainty and calm in every scene with rook after this, having spent the whole game caught between fear and longing???? mr. lives in a pantry but it says nothing about my psyche don't worry about it it's purely for tactical reasons that I keep myself contained in a small dark room not entirely unlike a cell, love among the parsnips -- finally coming to rook in their room and it's so comfortable and comforting???? after all the times rook supports and comforts him through the game he's finally able to return the same to them when they need it while being so calm and steady and it's so fucking sweet and feels so effortless and with no price attached?????? he basically assigns himself the role of your bodyguard and he WILL stab a god over it??????????????? the turn to protector (which was in his heart all along longing to get out and find a place) of it all????? he sounds like he's found himself unexpectedly stumbling into such a soul-lightening state of revelatory existential relief, full on 'you only have to let the soft animal of your body love what it loves' mary oliver style, and he goes and he shares that with rook and protectively envelops them in it when they're hurting??????????????????????????? hello for the maker's sake hello can anyone hear me?????
#listen I was forged in the fires of garrusmancing. I went through two whole games just to get a gentle headbutt and some tender words#before me3 comes along and rewards you for your tenacity more fully#me? the reyes romancer???? I have the strength and headcanon game to bear the relative lack of content before the end#when the endgame is this good I am willing to hold out for it haha the way he looks at rook towards the end......#I also really liked taash' (it's really sweet) but I don't think I have any rooks ready to go right now who would go for that vibe#emmrich for sure is going to be my either crow or shadow dragon romance it really is very good! and extremely goth not unrelatedly#undeniably that old man has the most game out of anyone in this story. the move with the flower??? I'm sorry????#I actually like that lucanis' romance blooms out of the safety of an established friendship more than anything (again. avowed garrusmancer)#but emmrich... he's got some next level romantic stuff going on and is being both so wholesome and such a freak about it lmao#dragon age#dragon age: the veilguard#dragon age: the veilguard spoilers#dragon age spoilers#lucanis dellamorte#rook x lucanis#rookanis#all jokes aside I totally respect and understand that people are a bit disappointed and frustrated -- they're not wrong to feel that!#there really are some gaps in content there for the midgame#however I was personally custom built by experience to get the most out of this scenario as possible and by god I will#just as I feel that ryder and reyes go off and have some soul-shrivingly good sex after the first kiss#(it makes that arc make a lot more sense to me haha)#I think rook and lucanis Get Up To It after the second coffee date. weird of them to not show us that but okay I'll fill it in myself then
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listen the cheese reference is TIMELY and RELEVANT and oop hes tied up again
#listen i will jump on any opportunity to draw a bb6 pinup#dimension 20#time quangle#barry syx#big barry syx#a starstruck odyssey#listen im not gonna tag spoilers because youll just be disappointed expecting barry to have any game#i had big like... cheesecakey prop ambitions and then was like you know what i dont want to draw anything except for this hunk lookin sexy#anyway im sorry to anyone who is following me who doesnt want man ass on their dash
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what's weird about the fantasy high drama is that like. it seems to me like people forget d&d is primarily a) a game you play with your friends and also b) luck based.
I mean it's fine to say that "nothing felt like a challenge" and "they just dominated everything and there weren't any stakes" but like. it's not as if they weren't up against huge threats. they lost the mall fight. the last stand was an onslaught of enemies. they fought a dozen dragons from an airship. the fights were hard. they're just really good. they've had very good dice luck in general this season and are all very high level and highly specialized. fig is gonna beat deception and performance checks. adaine's gonna figure out the arcana. riz is gonna succeed investigations. like. for some reason their strategical competence and wisely picked abilities are. a downside? a disappointment?
the thing about d&d that you need to remember is it's first and foremost a game. it's mostly random and it takes you down weird paths and you're playing to have fun with your friends. the dice are literally telling the story that it's their time, it's their year. they've struggled enough. they've trained enough. they're good at what they do. and in my post about the academic/domestic/personal stressors being the focus, d&d doesn't have any other system to work them out than rolling different skills. that's what d&d is. brennan set specific challenge levels for different tasks and the players strategized to prioritize which abilities they were strongest in. the challenges were there. and the players rose to them. they were both smart in their delegation of responsibilities and lucky with their dice rolls. of which, both are foundations of d&d.
don't mistake them being good players and getting lucky with there being no hardship. just because they smashed through the wall, that doesn't mean the wall wasn't strong. they were just stronger.
#i know some people are disappointed from a storytelling perspective. but you have to understand.#what was brennan supposed to do. he threw things at them both at and above their challenge level#he created a whole system to simulate academic and person goals and stress throughout the year#he gave them plenty of chances to fail#he set DCs high.#the players just knocked it out of the park#you can't tell any story but the ones the dice want you to#if he had manufactured more danger or difficulty where there was none it would have felt cheap#and do you not remember the night yorb fight#like. the whole point of the year was that it wasn't hard. it just never stopped#they can do it they're capable they're smart. but the hustle and the stress and the fighting and the working never ends#that's why nothing 'had stakes' or 'felt challenging'#it's the slog that gets you. it's how long you're willing to keep going.#how much life can break you almost to your last breath but you get through it and you keep going anyway#but. i digress.#and i say all this with complete and total respect to other people's opinions#i feel no hate and wish no bad feelings on anyone who disagrees with this!#it's just my personal view on the whole thing#sorry if im being annoying i just have. opinions.#fantasy high#d20#dimension 20#fhjy
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Percy and Oliver is autism x adhd couple but I will argue that Percy has adhd while Oliver has autism
#harry potter#percy weasley#oliver wood#perciver#I argue this because of the hyperfixiation on quidditch#doesn’t understand why no one else has the same level of interest#extremely focused#I will argue Percy has adhd because of his extreme focus on academics and doing well#probably has burn out syndrome#doesn’t want to disappoint anyone so strives for high grades anyway#tbh the only reason I say he might have adhd is because I sort of have a similar personality and am adhd#theyre adhd x autism#sorry if the tags aren’t really clear
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oh everyone and their DISCLAIMERS about how “lokius will never be canon because disney and marvel are awful, but”........ well I have nothing to lose so. fuck disclaimers! this is my idea of fun! what if it CAN and WILL be canon, huh? what if the story is gonna go where it seems to be headed. what if I say they’re going to kiss on international streaming television. who’s gonna stop me
#I was in the tag on here again so. midnight shitpost time#lokius#but for real the disclaimers are like.... idk#are there Assigned Queerbaiting cops???? or are we policing each other#before anyone takes this too seriously yes I get it’s about ‘hopes’ and keeping fervor down and whatever#but the pendulum swing is just. tiring#to the extent that it has swung#sorry this is not articulate unlike my tweets on this topic semi recently#I will not let the corporations steal my joy preemptively or disappoint me preemptively. if they’re going to I’ll cross that bridge later#otherwise I find it far more exciting and entertaining to presume we live in a world where we get nice things#let me reach for the stars. because by God one day we WILL hit them#also per usual: abolish the nonsense word queerbaiting. Thank you and goodnight#PS I am not actually mad at fans protecting themselves and their emotions. I get the baseline reason. I am annoyed by The Situation#and with the use of the word ‘queerbaiting’ it all rooted in a fundamentally stupid or incorrect or shifting premise#chars loki posts
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cool great to know our shortened suddenly-final season not only was missing a principle character for about a third of it but also wasted over half of the season focusing on a guy from a different branch of the franchise that nobody asked for and who has genuinely done nothing but detract from the characters we were all actually there for
#especially jane but it’s hit everyone#i feel like we’ve barely seen jesse this season#not to mention how few social scenes we’ve had between anyone#like there’s just nothing and i’m so beyond disappointed#ncis hawaii#to be clear: not disappointed in yas she deserves to do whatever she wants#just abt sam. sorry ll cool j i’m sure you’re a great guy but respectfully. we didn’t need you
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i finally got around to rewatching hazbin i forgot how happy it made me aaggh
closeups / alt text in the read more
#I LOVE HAZBIN SO MUCH AAAAAAA#riding my fixations because they get me to draw SOMETHING#was actually smiling and kicking my feet#this is actually only my second time watching the full thing :’)#bringing me back to that period where i just rewatched the vox portion of episode 2 over and over every day#i almost didn’t make it through stayed gone btw i felt like my brain was about to go nuclear and explode#i survived though#if you were wondering#doodles#hazbin hotel#eeeugh this one has a lot of characters#hazbin hotel vox#hazbin hotel lucifer#hazbin hotel velvette#hazbin hotel valentino#hazbin hotel charlie#hazbin hotel alastor#i feel weird tagging characters that are barely in the drawing#idk .__. sorry to disappoint anyone looking through the alastor tag#should stop talking to myself in the tags
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"if i had a nickel-"
"it's a not a lot but it's weird that it's happened twice"
#no but fr#he looks so disappointed in himself#dean wichester#spn#supernatural#supernatural2024#destiel#spn crack#deancas#i actually love these pics#idk the episodes sorry#if anyone knows them put them in the tags or smth#manwhore monday#(it's tuesday)
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i often really do feel like an .. unwanted part of the fandom, i dont draw beautiful landscapes, i have unpopular but strong opinions im constantly annoying about and rarely change, dont like/dont draw the pretty young popular twinks and hot gurls to fanboi over nor do i turn characters into one, the opposite moreso, draw only one ship no ones heard of really, got little energy to interact with the few people that are nice to me and send me asks so it probably looks like im ignoring everyone and unfortunately but still rarely get so stressed i get overwhelmed and emotional about pehaps seemingly minor things and spiral almost into a breakdown feeling super embarrassed about it afterwards but the damage is already done and i look like a freak or agressive weirdo
#ganondoodles talks#also probably sounds like self pity#but this feeling hits everytime i see a super popular artist be the popular cool artist#i am a little weird i know that and thats not somethign bad i think#but the internet never gets to see that much of me#i tend to write posts when i am at my worst bc it has to go somewhere#so the image it tells people is that im a weirdly strong opiniod freak that gets breakdowns over nothing#i also dont feel like im otherwise -cool tm- enough to balance that out#i dont think my art is as stylized or as inventive as others nor am i cool to interact with bc idk how to be cool to interact with#i feel double bad when i misstepped with someone i used to talk to bc of something stupid ... or just dont know what i did wrong#im guessing its especially when i am in that spiraling state of mind where i really am not myself tbh#it still feels very bad bc i feel like i can never make it up to anyone again#sorry i acted like a jerk my brain was exploding in emotions in a desperate attempt to deal with something idk how to deal with-#-and made me not act like myself but now i feel really dumb about it#doesnt sound like a good excuse#... i want to thank those that do stick with me#even if i acted strange sometimes- even if i disappointed sometimes- even when i couldnt keep a promise#there are little things that still make me angry at myself#like that one time i asked in the tags whod read as long as the end of them and if someone did shoudl send me an ask so id draw a lil thing#and i got two#and i kept trying to remeber oh shit i need to do that and forgetting again/not having energy for it in a loop#i still feel like a jerk about it but now its probably too late#i wish i could answer all asks i get but man my energy for that is always rock bottom#no matter how much i enjoy the ask#and i love getting asks!!!#im sorry :((
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#us election venting beware:#i am actually a bit annoyed at all the people that told me i was just being pessimistic and it's not healthy to think the worst of people#when yet again we have proven the worst of people wins#and even if it doesn't win (it will) it is still so significantly mobilized and out there#like i know it's not helpful. but i TOLD YOU. everyone thought it wouldn't happen and it DID.#just like nobody thought it would happen THEN and i was apparently the only one around me who saw it coming.#now can we PLEASE take this problem SERIOUSLY and get off our fucking asses and admit it's fucked out there??#the core of our system is bad. it is rotting and the proof is in this joke of an election#so can every white liberal get off my ass for 'bringing down the vibe' or whatever?#you people have been LAZY for a long time. you have been comfortable and unmotivated and been doing NOTHING.#quit focusing on doing your best by voting and get the fuck out there and disrupt. radicalize!#'common sense' is not enough and it never was#i hate to say it but believing the best in the masses in this deeply racist country will disappoint you every time#and i can't believe so many people fell for it again!!!!#i know it's unfair but#i'm finding it really difficult to sympathize with people in my community who are sad and disappointed#when i watched you do NOTHING for YEARS#(not for the people that are actively in danger. my heart breaks for you. i will not stop fighting for you. you didn't deserve this.)#i have never believed that people are fundamentally good and i'm sorry if that's mean but it's just not true#people are fundamentally neutral and you have to WORK to push them towards 'good'#and for too long the pushing has been going in the other direction. but 'pushing' at all is uncouth to you people i guess#get over your decorum. get over your morals that mean nothing. no one else is playing by your rules. DO something. CARE MORE.#sorry. i'm angry. i am filled with rage. and it is mostly directed towards the white intellectual elite.#to anyone who is blindingly furious i see you and i am with you lmao.#to anyone that wants to say 'i told you so' you are so valid.#we keep going.#futhermore: 'it's only four years. we'll recover.' BITCH#ONLY four years? that's four years of DAMAGE that will really hurt people in the meantime#and set up a whole host of problems for the future! the courts my god.#four years of bullshit policy and shit we will have to spend years untangling just to get back to even thinking about making any progress
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i don't wanna like. complain too much especially now that the PJO show's first season is over but i do feel kind of lied to about it with how rick constantly claimed it would be super accurate and perfect unlike the movies and how he said stuff like this:
because this is literally exactly what i wanted. i wanted to see as much of the book's story as possible while also getting some fun additions or even changes when necessary (for example, one change that i really want if we ever get the final book is luke's death scene, when he asks annabeth if she loved him--this needs to either not happen, or annabeth's answer needs to be changed from "you were like a brother to me, but i didn't love you" to something that affirms that she did love him in a familial way, so that his question can't be taken as a romantic thing. maybe his wording of it should change as well.) and i also thought it's only natural that they'd have to cut less important scenes. but they changed sooo so much and the show is basically just more accurate than the movies in the sense that they go to all the right locations, fight the right monsters, and hit the right basic plot beats, but the how and why of it all is so different. the details are all off. and also imo they somehow managed to make it boring to watch, which is an even worse crime to me. honestly i don't want books i enjoy to get screen adaptations anymore. make them stage musicals on par with the lightning thief musical or just leave them alone.
#i'm sorry to anyone who really likes the show lol but this is my blog#and i can't help but feel disappointed with it#pjo show crit#pjo tv crit#<- i guess i'm tagging those in case anyone blacklists them
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