#sorry idk if u wanted this advice anon but

[good-yvesning]

tbf there ARE a lot of orbits who seemingly only talk about the popular members, never talking about hyunjin or gowon without mentioning heejin or hyeju first, reducing haseul to "haha yeojin's mom", reducing vivi to "haha android", etc. and it's only the "unpopular members" that they treat like this

I do get what u mean, and it can be frustrating to see the members get stereotyped the same way over and over. Still though, people who have a more casual interest in loona are gonna naturally see the popular members more and understand them a little better, and have a more casual/stereotyped view of the less popular members. It's definitely hard when you feel like the others deserve just as much attention, so I get it, but please don't be so quick to condemn people who seem to only like the popular members !! it could just be those members are the kind of people they happen to like, or that the less popular members get less love in general so it's harder to find stuff about them and support them in the same way ! If you feel it's unfair, do your best to spread the love of the less popular members !!

[soobnny]

dating him | yang jeongin

❝ why’d you come into my life so late? ❞

chan | lee know | changbin | hyunjin | han | felix | seungmin | JEONGIN

guys this one’s a secret romantic

even the boys are shocked when he tells them he has a gf now so casually

like WDYM ?!!??

anon said this but picture the boys eating at a restaurant

and the boys r like the food here is crazy good like how’d u find this place

and he goes idk my gf recommended it

and then there’s silence

before all hell breaks loose

bc wdym … wdym u have a gf and u didn’t tell us ????????????

dramatic faces of betrayal from hyunjin and han i can imagine bc their baby didn’t tell him

i think seungmin would know just bc they’re dorm mates and i think jeongin trusts to ask him advice without BOOKING him to the boys

he seems nonchalant on the outside, just a silly boy

but he’s the sweetest

i think he’d treat love so gently ☹️☹️

he’s always wanted to explore romance, always wanted to find it

he couldn’t ever admit it out loud bc he knows he’d get teased

he was the boys’ baby after all

and since he was the boys’ baby, by association, you were now their baby too

u two are the couple they adore

they act like they’re ur parents

chan dad mode activated

anyways he’s kind of emotional and sensitive

so i think the both of u navigate through love for the first time together

it’s a lot of ups and downs

BUT …. it’s led to him realizing just how much he loves you

i totally believe you’d go on either the most goofy dates or very expensive dates

no in between

he’d be the type to treat you and have staycations at 5-star hotels

you’d just cuddle and watch movies and eat room service

YES I SAID CUDDLE

even the boys were shocked when they saw it for the first time

bc ?!!!???? their baby ?!!!?? physical touch ?!!?

jeongin never minds when it’s with u

but it’s also something he’s had to learn

he’s very appreciative of ur patience

anyways back to ur dates

i can imagine u guys just buying a bunch of strawberry cakes and doing a taste testing

like u’d record it and everything

u can’t post it bc he kisses u like 928373 times in that video

there’s a makeout session like once

oh, and dinner dates

and very competitive rock paper and scissors over who pays for the food

except when he loses, he’d cheat and say he’d go to the bathroom but he’s actually paying for it

so keep ur eyes on that boy

i think he’d also be the type to really enjoy clothes shopping with you

you’d just put on a fashion show for each other

he’d end up buying a few things he rly liked on you

he’s got good fashion sense

might sneak in a matching item or two

maybe some shoes so it’s more subtle

jeongin also loves playing tourist in ur own city

the two of u would just walk around

visit some tourist spots

take pictures even

it’s just rly funny and rly cute

it feels a lot like being a kid again with him

u guys even buy useless toys for kids and bring them back to the dorm

😭😭😭😭

this includes like those little charms for kids

u two end up making craft bracelets and necklaces

and even tho they look ridiculous, u wear them in public

this is ur own version of promise rings

anywahs minho ends up taking some of the toys u’d bought for his cats

when the boys come home, u two are usually just cooped up in jeongin’s room

bc he wants his privacy!!!!!!!!

but when he lets it slip, and u two fall asleep on the couch, expect lots of pictures taken

i’m sorry

the boys are also emotional

they’d wake u up so u guys can have dinner together

he’d get so blushy and embarrassed and threaten his hyungs ofc

han jisung: when will it be my turn ???

they just want love from innie too

UGHHGHG kicking each other’s foot under the table while eating

he loves annoying u

but u love annoying him equally

when u aren’t over at the dorms

he’d be the type to text you random links on youtube at 3am

those charlie bit my finger type beat

gorilla destroys crocodile epic video

jeongin also gives me the “sends u things” vibe

u’d suddenly receive flowers without warning

or get those “did you eat?” texts and if u say no, yeah, best believe he’s already delivering food to u

hmmmmm u’d probably be his plus one in fancy events

but u guys end up ditching those to eat at fast food chains

yes … in ur very fancy dress and his rly sexy suit …. out in a fast food restaurant

u guys get weird looks but

jeongin doesn’t mind 🙁

as long as he’s happy with u

AWWWWWWWW

u guys also attend or volunteer for charity events together

i think he’s rly found his match

treat each other well !!!!!

congrats on finding love

note. credits to user @.luvknow for the layout of this post! let me know what you think! please discuss these with me i’m crazy

[wambsgansshoelaces]

hi, i think u did a similar one already but could i get a hc on how succession characters react to their s/o crying? about feeling sad , or stressed , or losing a loved one , idk , just something mildly serious. i wasn't feeling great today and i started crying and my sister told me to stop crying and was like mean af to me and i could use some gentleness and affection :|

aw anon im so sorry :( I know I’m really late with this but I hope you’re doing much better <3 I’m always here for you in my ask box or pms!! your sister is an asshole you can cry whenever you want all of your emotions are valid and I love u u are so worthy

I hope these make you feel happy <3 enjoy x

serious issues (succession main cast)

Kendall

ᝰ when he notices your mood is off, he immediately goes solemn

ᝰ while if it were something smaller, he’d leave it and let you come up and talk to him on your own

ᝰ but he can tell it’s bad

ᝰ and he’s not going to let you stew in this by yourself

ᝰ he will help you

ᝰ whether you want him to or not

ᝰ he gets you a glass of water

ᝰ and forces you to drink

ᝰ then sits you down and makes you tell him what’s wrong

ᝰ when you do

ᝰ rather, when you burst into tears in his arms

ᝰ he can’t help but feel horrible

ᝰ he cradles your face in his hands and kisses away your tears

ᝰ he apologizes over and over

ᝰ he’s rubbing your back the entire time you tell him what’s going on

ᝰ “cry it all out. i’m right here.”

ᝰ he talks you through it

ᝰ he’s cosplaying his therapist

ᝰ if it was a death, he gets the name of where the service will be held and pays for it in secret

ᝰ over the next few weeks, you can just show up in his office and cry on his shoulder

ᝰ and he won’t ask any questions

ᝰ he always lets you

ᝰ the night you tell him, he keeps an arm hooked around you, keeping your head to his chest

ᝰ he plays with your hair and strokes soothing patterns into your skin for the rest of the night

ᝰ as you recover emotionally, he makes sure to check in on you

ᝰ even long after the incident, you both make sure that you have no bullshit check ins with each other

ᝰ “how are you really”s

ᝰ he makes it clear to you that he will always support you

ᝰ and you’re glad

Roman

ᝰ not really the best with words

ᝰ or emotions

ᝰ or being serious

ᝰ however

ᝰ the only time(s) he is 100% serious is when you’re severely upset

ᝰ the first time it happens, it’s like he stops breathing

ᝰ “hey, come here. something’s wrong. i need to know what.”

ᝰ you tell him

ᝰ it’s the hardest you’ve ever cried

ᝰ the entire time, he grips your hand, gently stroking the back of it with his fingers

ᝰ he’s never been more focused on anything in his life

ᝰ he wishes he could help talk you through it, but he’s physically incapable

ᝰ so what he does is murmur a few comforting words then take you out on a boat ride

ᝰ because of course he has a miniature yacht on call

ᝰ “you can relax, take your mind off everything. i’ll take care of things, don’t worry.”

ᝰ the rest of the day is spent the two of you cuddled together, looking out over the water

ᝰ he doesn’t say anything

ᝰ he feels bad because he doesn’t know how to help you sort through your emotions

ᝰ because god knows he can’t

ᝰ so instead, he spends every waking moment with you, at your beck and call

ᝰ regardless, he’d do anything for you

ᝰ incident or not

ᝰ he listens to you when you talk, of course

ᝰ he just can’t give you any sound advice

ᝰ the nights on the boat, when you’re at your most vulnerable, he makes sure you fall asleep before he does

ᝰ so that he can kiss you to sleep

ᝰ and make sure you fall asleep soundly, feeling safe

ᝰ he’ll never be happy unless you’re happy

Shiv

ᝰ she notices something’s wrong, but doesn’t say anything at first

ᝰ when you don’t come to her at all and instead stay holed up in your room, that’s when she knows something is really wrong

ᝰ she crawls up onto the bed with you, and you feel her hands smooth up your back

ᝰ “what’s wrong? tell me.”

ᝰ does not leave you alone until you do

ᝰ listens intently

ᝰ literally memorizes what you’re saying so that she can help fix things

ᝰ the entire time you’re speaking, she massages at your skin to soothe you

ᝰ and it works

ᝰ thumbs away your tears when they fall

ᝰ she refuses to let you go through this alone

ᝰ she helps talk through your issues

ᝰ nonstop reassuring you that everything you’re feeling is perfectly valid

ᝰ and telling you that if you’re upset, she’s upset

ᝰ and that she’ll stop at nothing to make you happy again

ᝰ in all honesty, she’s extremely inexperienced with cooking and baking

ᝰ but she figures it out just for you

ᝰ she makes you a fudge with strawberries and raspberries frozen into it

ᝰ and it’s surprisingly really good

ᝰ your tears ease as the two of you eat together in bed

ᝰ you’re still sniffling when she gently urges you to lay your head in her lap

ᝰ even when you’re this upset, she’s utterly mesmerized by you

ᝰ your lips when you chew, your cheeks, the plush of your thighs as your pajama shorts hike up your legs

ᝰ “i know it’s hard, babe. i’m here. i’m not leaving.”

ᝰ and she doesn’t

ᝰ she’s at your side for the rest of both your lives

ᝰ she holds your hand through all of your difficulties

ᝰ she always listens, always helps you with your issues

ᝰ she’ll never, ever, let you suffer on your own

ᝰ she wishes she could take your pain from you

ᝰ you’re her sun and moon

Tom

ᝰ the personification of a massive teddy bear

ᝰ when you’re upset, he’s in SHAMBLES

ᝰ he swears he can feel your pain

ᝰ he soothes you every way he knows how

ᝰ he keeps you close, rubbing his hands up and down your sides

ᝰ he makes you your favorite meals

ᝰ refuses to let you do any chores

ᝰif it was a death, he organizes these massive baskets to be delivered to everyone affected

ᝰ and the biggest one goes to you

ᝰ it has all of your favorite sweets, a bouquet of beautiful flowers, a blanket

ᝰ and a love letter detailing how you’re the strongest person he knows

ᝰ and that he loves you more than anything

ᝰ of course, he gives you space if you ask for it

ᝰ but he’s always concerned for you anyway

ᝰ he gives you your time to recover while slowly helping you along

ᝰ after a couple weeks of leaving you be and taking care of you at home, he starts making you go out with him

ᝰ “we’re getting you used to things again.”

ᝰ he stays at your side through all of it

ᝰ will always let you vent to him

ᝰ and always does his best to give you advice and help you through your issues

ᝰ every night is spent the two of you chatting about your days

ᝰ making sure the other is really okay

ᝰ his arms are always warm

ᝰ your bed even more so

ᝰ he always makes sure you’re feeling warm and fuzzy

ᝰ he just loves you so much

ᝰ he’ll never let you go cold

Greg

ᝰ when you start freaking out, he also starts freaking out

ᝰ but he gets himself together

ᝰ because you’re a big deal to him

ᝰ and he loves you

ᝰ so he’ll do everything he can to help you

ᝰ in his own way, of course

ᝰ he honestly sucks at talking you through things

ᝰ but he listens to you

ᝰ he loves listening to you

ᝰ after you tell him what’s going on, he pulls you into his arms

ᝰ he just hugs you for a while

ᝰ he doesn’t let go until you do

ᝰ and you only do that to go to the bathroom

ᝰ when you come back, he has a favorite movie of yours pulled up on the tv

ᝰ “why don’t we watch? I think you could use the brain break. relaxing is good for you.”

ᝰ he keeps you pulled tight against him

ᝰ softly stroking your hair, your neck, your shoulder

ᝰ he’s just hoping your mood is shifting

ᝰ which it is

ᝰ he’s not the best with words

ᝰ and he’s not exactly sure if what he’s doing is helping

ᝰ but bottom line, you know he cares

ᝰ and he wants to help, needs to help you

ᝰ he spends the next few days doing his best to make you feel loved

ᝰ he makes you lunch to take with you to work

ᝰ he makes sure your favorite snacks are always stocked in the pantry

ᝰ always asks things along the lines of “do you want coffee? iced tea? I’ll make anything for you” even though he doesn’t know how to cook or bake anything

ᝰ but he figures it out

ᝰ because the only thing that makes him happy is you

ᝰ and he’ll fucking die if he sees you crying again and he can’t help you

ᝰ his world revolves around you

ᝰ and he loves it that way

Stewy

ᝰ honestly, you being so viscerally upset puts him off

ᝰ his world falls off balance

ᝰ demands you tell him everything

ᝰ keeps your face sandwiched between his hands as you talk

ᝰ his eyes never leave yours

ᝰ he nods, makes soothing noises

ᝰ “okay, here’s what we’ll do. we’re going to go have fun tonight.”

ᝰ he takes you out for dinner

ᝰ the entire night he’s just like eyeing you trying to see if you’re still upset

ᝰ in reality, he’s just a smooth talker

ᝰ he has no idea how to actually get serious

ᝰ so now his efforts are put into making you feel better

ᝰ when you pick at your food, he takes your hand

ᝰ and tries to be profound

ᝰ “I know I kind of suck at this whole handling things seriously thing, but I want you to know I’ll listen to anything- everything you have to say. I don’t… you’re not going through this alone, is what I’m trying to tell you.”

ᝰ it comes out really messy

ᝰ but it’s obvious he cares

ᝰ it’s obvious he loves you

ᝰ and that in of itself makes you feel leagues better

ᝰ you decide to walk off your dinner

ᝰ you both take a stroll, hand in hand, through the streets

ᝰ the night chill is strangely calming

ᝰ but you know that’s just stewy, not actually the chill that’s making you feel at ease

ᝰ “we can try stargazing tonight.”

ᝰ “stew, all I can see when I look up is smoke.”

ᝰ because you literally live in new york

ᝰ where rats live everywhere rent free

ᝰ “we’ll just have to drive out somewhere, then.”

ᝰ he actually does

ᝰ the two of you end up in a bit of a rural area sitting in the trunk of his car

ᝰ he spread out blankets and brought pillows and everything

ᝰ he even stopped at a gas station to get you both slushees

ᝰ in the gas station you both mixed flavors

ᝰ and he keeps stealing from you

ᝰ but it’s okay

ᝰ you’re leaning against him, his fingers are in your hair

ᝰ “I’m sorry I couldn’t help more.”

ᝰ “you’re helping me lots.”

ᝰ you give him a kiss

ᝰ “your lips are all blue, stewy.”

ᝰ “the blue raspberry is just really good…”

ᝰ you turn back to the stars

ᝰ but his eyes aren’t even on the stars anymore

ᝰ they’re on you

ᝰ and if he had it his way, they’d never leave you again

[callmegaith]

genuine question: how do you make noise in every fandom you enter? I feel like I've been following you for a while, and every time you enter a new fanbase you seem to get attention. /Pos. Struggling to find a place in communities I enter, so I would appreciate the advice.

I'm sorry you feel alienated, anon. It sucks. I've been there.

First and foremost and this is advice just generally. I would say it's the most important too:

Make what YOU want to make, not what you THINK will get you attention: I'm saying this because making something you don't enjoy just because you know it's what's "popular" is going to make you miserable. You won't enjoy making it, you'll feel frustrated and depressed, and it's just going to make everything worse. I decided one day I would make my own HL rebel oc without knowing if anyone would care, especially considering rebels are just ""disposable npcs"" but this is what I wanted to do, and I have fun making it. And believe me, when you enjoy what you make it'll SHOW and it'll make ppl gravitate towards you.

Include your community: this is something I really enjoy doing personally. I love interacting with people who enjoy my art so I'm always open to ppl sending me suggestions for characters, plot points, or even names for ocs I make. I let the community vote on oc designs, and generally I want them to be a part of what I'm making. Sometimes I'll make little interactive comics like I did with Rusty Lake (idk if u seen that) or just do something fun to give back to the community that supported me.

Don't be too hard on yourself: sometimes the things we make are doomed to not get out there. Social media is not designed to support us so often times, they lack the tools to help us get our work out there. Of course there are more "artist" centered platforms you can use like Inkblot which leads me to my other point

Post everywhere: sometimes your audience will be found in unlikely places. For example: my HL art does best in reddit and on here. Twitter doesn't care much for it but it's fine as long as I'm doing well somewhere else cuz I have my links on my profile that might get others to follow me elsewhere.

Don't give up: which is cheesy to say but true. Just keep doing what you do and you'll eventually find the right audience for you

Have fun: I cannot emphasize this enough. Remember why you started doing art/writing/etc... you didn't start because u wanted to get famous on the internet (at least I hope not) you did it cuz u thought it was fun. Making something you love shouldn't be hurting you and making you feel alienated.

Everyone matters: ik there's only very few ways we can say "thank you!" To someone commenting that they love something you made but say it anyway

Literally all I do anytime in any fandom or space is I try to have as much fun as I can. Like my bio says "I do what makes me happy"... Do what makes you happy, anon. 💜💜

[artdcnaldson]

https://www.tumblr.com/artdcnaldson/759016621811646464/praying-for-it-to-happen-to-you-bc-im-too-nervous

I’m in the same boat as you, and I’m too scared to even try and catch up i’m 23 w no romantic / sexual experience and it makes me so upset , but I am too terrified to try cuz I don’t think I’m appealing to men (lol idk if I’m saying this right ) and I happen to be a straight girly

I need someone to approach me first cuz there’s no other way , and this feels impossible cuz everytime I bring this up to my friends they’re like ‘’it’s ur energy, the energy you put out is what you receive’’ i have no idea what they mean other than be extroverted and look a certain way.

I know for a fact there is nothing wrong w my energy, i hit it off w girls and guys in a platonic way constantly (I literally work in public relations I have to have good people skills!!). ALSO I refuse to believe straight men are these Intuitive creatures who can ‘read energy’ they’re literally the shallowest demographic on the planet , I have no idea and I keep hearing this advice from my friends who get male attention

And also I’ve been on dating apps, I’ve been set up and I’m not attracted to anyone (when I had to text this one man I wanted to throw up) it’s just so hard I’m so tired 😭

I love them but they don’t get it, and everytime I hear this it makes me want to tear my hair out ,, feels like I’ll never be seen in that light and I’ll be stuck wondering what’s wrong with me

Omg sorry I went on a tangential rant 😭😭😭😭

But anyway my point was that ur not alone in this and good things will happen for sure ❤️‍🩹

I’m 🔮anon at poppy’s blog and if it’s not taken can I be the same anon here also pleek 🙏

Ofc you can baby <3 welcome 🔮 anon <3

But it’s genuinely the fucking worst and it feels like no one gets it!!! It’s so fucking damaging to the psyche to make it THIS far without having romantic experience like. I’m sorry but I cannot take advice from anyone not in the same boat seriously. Like clearly we are living to drastically different lives!!!

And literally about not liking anyone and wanting to throw up messaging people…… you’re so real for that. I’m the exact same way and idk if it’s a defense mechanism or what at this point. I’m just so used to literally being completely overlooked and ignored that it’s like well… I’ll just do that first 🙂‍↕️🙂‍↕️ it’s like u said, that feeling of something just being inherently wrong with u like…. Exactly!! Like if someone would just be honest and say what it was about me that wasn’t good I could just fix it yk?

I also feel like completely unsexy and unappealing, like I feel like I’m the type of person that someone will end up settling for once I’m like 35 and desperate but even then like probably not yk!! Who wants to date someone that no one else has wanted so it’s like !!?!?

Anyways now I went on a tangential depressing rant so we’re even <3

[acti-veg]

hi acti, shits pretty bleak in the U.S. at the moment. I'm very proud of my folks for voting 93 and 80% majority for blue but it's not enough. We're taking this time to just rest and try to think of ways to brace for what's coming. Especially with FDA and health inspection rollbacks in place. My family's majority plant-based save for my mom. Idk if u remember or if u had gotten it, but I wrote an anonymous message a long time ago asking if there was a way to transition my mom from backyard egg vegetarianism with rescue hens to veganism, especially since I don't think we can trust animal products soon. I really want to start a micro farm, (like a freight hydroponics microfarm or something similar) if possible because soon I won't trust the soil from big box stores as I can't sterilize it enough nor grow year round and its gonna be a rough 4 years and up. I'm just looking for hobbies to help feed my community if anything.

(Im so sorry if this seems like the beginning manifesto of an online recipe) but Do you happen to have any sources on vegan alternatives to beekeeping? Or any sources on sustainable indoor hydroponic farming that could feed several people? Or if you think its best to keep rescue chickens for eggs and transition my mom to plant-based sources for her own safety now? Thank u in advance

I want to preface this by saying I don't really have any personal experience with this, so my answer here is based solely on research. It will depend on the level of space you have in your home, but even if you have a couple of spare rooms to use, I think you'll need to manage your expectations a little bit.

It is unlikely that you'll be able to become self-sufficient unless you have access to a plot of land. What you'll be growing will supplement what you're buying, but it won't replace it. Communal allotments could be an option, but that will depend heavily on where you are and how available they are, as well. Even then, the quantity you'll produce on a small allotment will not be enough to feed several people.

That said, you can grow quite a lot indoors or on a small plot of land, and you'll certainly be able to provide a real boost of fresh fruit and veg, either to community kitchens or to your family. I don't think that having animal inputs would really provide much of a benefit since you'd also have to rely on buying or growing feed, so my recommendation would be to just start with trying to supplement what you're buying now, with easy options to grow at home.

As for resources, here is highly rated book on vegetable gardening, if you do have access to an outdoor space. For indoor, this is supposed to be a good entry level book, here is a more extensive text focused on soiless growing, and here is one focused on equipment. There are also a couple of active subreddits on this, but I think that these four combined should provide a really good foundation to get you going - but it is apparently a lot of trial and error, and you will need to set some money aside for an initial investment into your equipment.

I think that it's a great idea so start to look towards growing your own food, but don't get too wrapped up in the self-sufficiency idea. Reach out to local growers and grower communities, make connections at farmers markets, see if you can do any work in community gardens to learn. Community is what is going to get people through this, and making those connections now would be wise.

Edit: Check this advice from a knowledgeable anon as well.

[fairycosmos]

personally, it's kind of patronizing to hear advice like "you need some irl friends to get u off this site every once in a while" because like YEAH... I KNOW. but it's not like i have a queue of people vying for a chance to be friends with me. the problem is that being in a bad place mentally inherently pushes people away so forming and maintaining relationships is so profoundly difficult. on another note, i just wanted to tell you that you're seen in this universe. idk if that means anything to you but every day i log on and look for you on my feed.

yeah i totally hear this and you worded it so well. im aware isolation is a big part of the problem but there's a lot of very real barriers keeping me from building any meaningful friendships and thats just the way it is whether or not it's like. healthy or ideal or whatever. but i know that anon was well intentioned and i got how they meant it, i just wish it was that easy. i feel so disconnected from everyone and everything, even when i try to put myself out there. i hear from a lot of people my age that its difficult to make friends these days even when youre not neurodivergent or mentally ill but then everyone seems to be a lot less alienated than i am in their day to day lives. so its tough. thank you sm for the kind words and for being so genuine and understanding ❤️ im really sorry you're in the same boat as me - it means a lot that you look out for my blog. i will be here if you need a friend or someone to chat to!! x

[cali]

im a different anon but im just curious what advice you would give to someone whos been pillbugging it for um. over a year now

mmm i cant really answer how to stop having depression which im guessing is what u mean + i dont know how ur head works but ive been living mostly NEET-ly for more than 2 yrs now and everyday im getting a better curve at dealing with it so i can tell u what works for me.

half the time when im pillbugging hard im paralyzed by a nontangible fear and the only thing that could stop it is adressing wherever the fear is coming from but the confrontation of the topic, trying to figure out where its even coming from, is terrifying too so i dont do it and stay swimming in tar. theres a sentence people keep saying when they explain why they watch 2 hour video essays "it makes my head go quiet". thats the enemy, the thought, not the person saying it. long term i mean. when its short term anguish that can be bridged by pillbugging its fine i think but if ur "making ur head quiet" for more than a month i urge u to make it go really loud again but thats hard. the only times i can try and confront those thoughts is when i feel otherwise nice, if i got externally forced to have a fun day, hike with my papa, date day with my girlfriend, sometimes just got myself to make a nice meal and it helped, when u feel better its a little less scary and u can maybe try and think out of it a little better. also i think on those days youre generally more positively charged so u got more hope outlook. COOL. i think this is why some people do meditation. im not good at it so i dont really know but i think its a brave pasttime of tackling unpleasant ideas. i used to try and dope my way out of it with lsd cuz everytime i used it it kind of forced me to confront whatever trouble i had but ive forbad myself that cuz i didnt want to rely on it as crutch + it was just unpleasant to get hit over the head everytime. now i only do it when i feel good already (havent done it in half a year lol). sorry, drug tangent. also weed is synonymous with pillbugging 4 me.

otherwise, rituals.... mmmmm..... when therapists and whoevers say stuff like take daily walks daily exercise take daily shower i think all of those are like half about the direct benefits they give and half just about doing anything regularly. cuz it helps. during pillbug hours the point for me is kind of to have time pass as fast as possible so the timeframe to hurt is reduced which is counterproductive cuz if it flows u by rlly hard u cant really grasp onto anything to get off the ride easily. and its never going to come really easy theres no probable single action or event that is going to singlehandedly pull u out of the mire, no rapture, no healing vitamin, its always going to be slow and tedious and boring and stupid but a routine is a nice framework to start that. brushing ur teeth is nice. and when u do something daily the days start becoming more tangible again and u will be able to tell how many days ago tuesday was. maybe u can think abotu what factors motivate u and twist them to do your biddinggg. shame and dissapointment works really well for me if i tell someone i will have this done by then and i dont it usually overpowers the malaise or whatever other reason has been making me not do it prior. but this requires social bonds and i cant guarantee u have those. in summer i started doing therapy cuz in germany i need it for transgenderism and shes also a good beacon for that, if she says do something until next time we meet i dont want to dissapoint her. other than that, um idk, everyting else is just kind of part of that. take walks even if u dont want to think about things even if its scary. be brave like childrens book illustration of knight slaying dragon. and then maybe u get a princess kiss

[sugawhaaa]

Could you do a Jongseob audio or Keeho 🙌

Hii! I'm sorry to quote on quote "use you" for this topic 😭 I promise I'm not targeting you I just needed to put this out there.

I have gotten lots of requests for soul/Jongseob audios or smut fics but here's the thing...they're minors in Korea...clearly a lot of people don't mind the fact they're technically minors but something about it makes me a little uncomfortable :/ I mean I totally get it bc...look at them they don't act like teenagers at all with all that hip thrusting lmao but idk. If ppl really want Jongseob or soul smut content maybe I will. Idk if yall want it reply to this post and who knows I might actually 🤷‍♂️

But do you guys get what I'm saying? I'm kinda of in a pickle about it bc soul is Japanese right, and he is of legal age there but if we use that logic that means u could say "oh Jongseob is in America therefore this fanfic is legal sex" which yes it would be but it feels wrong somehow??? Idk tell me your guys thoughts PLLEEEEASSSERE I need advice

Anyways sorry anon for all this chaos 😭 as for keeho I already posted one but if u want another send me another request and I'll totally do it okay 🥰 sorry for all the Hassel 😭🙏

[my-castles-crumbling]

Hi guys! Got an anon ask with some triggers, so I'm copying it here so I can put a 'read more.'

TW: ED, SH

Here's the original ask:

hey Cas!

hru today? <3

I rlly don’t wanna bother u but I just need some advice bc I’m in a pretty tricky situation and I don’t know who I couldn’t turn to who wouldn’t then tell OTHER people (adults etc)

also a TW b4 anyone reads further: ED (not me but a a friend) and generally bad mental health (including sh and sui)

Basically I have this friend (one of my best friends) who’s struggled with really bad mental health and attempted in the past (we weren’t friends during this time but they’ve shared it with me) they have told me they no longer sh but I’m not entirely sure if I believe him on that but I guess there’s nothing to do except just take their word for it and they are definitely doing better than they were before (about a year or two ago)

thing is this friend does still have a (pretty bad I think) ED (specifically I think they have anorexia but I’m really not sure because I don’t know that much about EDs. I’ve tried to do some research but it’s actually incredibly hard to find any info about them especially in terms of ways to emotionally show support. In a medical sense they always seemed to be talked about like minor things(?) idk it’s hard to explain but often times I’ve been reading actual factual medical stuff and just been disgusted at the ways it’s discussed, like they try so hard to describe it from a technical viewpoint that they essentially the entire mental health aspect of it which kind of demeans the whole thing bc EDs ARE a mental health disorder)

sorry went on a little side rant there but basically I’ve tried to find stuff out but it’s really hard to learn about the mental health aspect and even harder to find stuff out about how to HELP someone through an ED

I’ve even resorted to looking thru some more unsavoury places for info (including anablr), I know these types of places encourage EDs and I am actually not a person who really loves their body very much but I do think I’m in a strong enough place emotionally to do this (and so far I’ve been correct, I’m unaffected) because I just wanted some actual insight on what it’s like

the problem with my friend is that she’s ALREADY in therapy. Her parents put her in it when they found out about her vaping habit but they just lie all the time (she tells me about it) because they have like serious trust issues due to past trauma and I’m gonna be honest, I 100% believe therapy is a good thing but sadly it is also entirely useless if the person doesn’t make any effort to get better

all I can do in that aspect of it is hope the therapy is going better than the jokes he makes about it or that eventually she will feel comfortable enough to share and process her issues

in terms of the ED what im really lost with is how to help

and don’t get me wrong, I know you can’t really help a person who doesn’t want to be helped but honestly I’m not giving up on this person I care about that easily. I will NOT be another person in their life who abandons them for being ‘too much’ or ‘too difficult’. I’ve already accepted the fact that I will not be able to help them out of it really (as best as I can at least)

I’ve already taken to carrying gum and mints in my school bag as much as I can (usually I’ll have a pack of both and I just share them with everyone so this person doesn’t actually catch wind that they’re the reason I do as quite often when they skip lunch they do help themselves to a few of my mints or gum pieces but ik if they knew it was for them they’d stop bc she’s just like that)

I just don’t know how else to help emotionally though, I’m one of the only people (I might be the ONLY person at all) that they feel comfortable enough to talk to about these issues and I just think its better that they’re telling someone who cares about them and is trying to help than telling no one at all which seems to be the alternative. The issue is I don’t know how to respond or show support especially because (thank u trust issues and trauma (/s) the window of vulnerability is SMALL (I’m talking a couple of seconds literally) before they’re joking and changing the subject

Also a small (but frankly compared to the rest of this, not very important) detail is that like I previously mentioned I am also not suuuper happy with my body ( I don’t sh really or have an ED in any way shape or form) and sometimes the stuff he says slightly upsets me (just like once I told him about how my mean grandma told me I was fat and had to eat less and he said his grandma forces him to eat more and that my grandma ‘sounds like her wet dream’ - I know this was just a joke obviously but I didn’t rlly love it considering my grandma is a pretty big source of my looks based insecurities)

like I said in no way is it on the same level and obviously I know it’s not coming from a place of malice because this friend also really looks out for my mental health like way more than my other friends tbh (I don’t know if it’s bc they struggled with it or whether they’re the only one who seems to notice I’m the therapist friend haha but they are the FIRST person to ask if anything’s wrong if I’m acting different and I rlly want to stress that because I know that from what I’ve said so far they may have come across as selfish or something but they are actually one of the kindest people ever) that’s especially why I’m worried if I bring anything up about wanting to help with little things or especially anything about not being a fan of little jokes that she’ll just stop talking about it at all in an attempt to make me feel more comfortable)

for context for all of this, I’m 15 (we both are) so still in school and they’re parents absolutely SUCK (in the most non violent way possible I would like to kill them [not actually but I do really hate them and wish them only the worst]) so there’s no emotional support coming from home for him

I don’t really have anyone I can talk to about this in real life because (for privacy reasons) they’ve asked me not to share it with like my other friends and I don’t have the greatest relationship with my parents (they’re not like abusive or neglectful or anything but we just have a lot of differences and just I’ve very much emotionally distanced myself from them)

sorry if this is too much because I do know it’s a really tricky situation and even though all of us sort of deify you, you’re still only one person and if this does make you uncomfortable or upset (not just if it’s triggering I mean just in general if you’re reading this and you don’t feel comfortable) in anyway please don’t force yourself to answer or feel guilty if you don’t because the last thing I’d want to do is put you in that kind of position

Im not sure if ill send in more anons but if I do then ill refer to myself (and you can call me) lacy anon so you know who I am (yes after the song bc i rlly love it haha)

Anyway sending lots and lots of love from the person who does basically look up to you as their adult role model and who I wanna be like when I’m older <3

Hi love! You're not bothering me at all!

So, first, I want to let you know that I am an adult, but when I say this, I hope you don't take it as...condescending, I guess? Because I don't mean it that way at all. I want to be realistic in the fact that these things you are dealing with are VERY grown-up and scary, and you are handling them in a remarkably mature way, but you are still legally fifteen.

This is way too much for a fifteen year old to take on.

You genuinely seem like the most amazing person. The fact that you have done research and carry around things for your friends, all to help them with their ED is frankly restoring my faith in humanity a bit. But I worry that you are placing WAY too much of the responsibility on yourself. I don't mean to be bleak or too blunt, but if god forbid anything ever happened, I would hate for you to blame yourself, and it sounds like you would. Your job is to be this person's friend. Not their therapist or caretaker.

So, here's my advice: I absolutely agree that you should not give up on them! But make sure you have boundaries. It broke my heart to read that you were going to places like anablr just to help- that's not healthy for you! As a friend, especially at your age, your most important job is to make sure your friend doesn't feel alone. And you're doing an amazing job, in my opinion. They seem to be willing to talk to you, and that's a big deal. But, in the best way, you are fifteen, and you don't have to have all the answers! Sometimes, the best way to support someone is to remind them that they are loved and they have someone in their corner. BUT remember that being there for someone doesn't mean you have to sacrifice yourself or your mental health. Say something if a joke makes you uncomfortable. "I love you so much, but that joke makes me feel uncomfortable. Can you maybe not joke like that?" It's okay and healthy to set those boundaries.

Please remember, you are not responsible for this person. You can love them and be there for them and care deeply, but you are responsible for you and your own health. Don't forget you.

My last very gentle suggestion is this: If you ever get to the point that you are so genuinely worried about this friend that you think it is a life-or-death situation, please don't take that on by yourself. I know it is scary, and I know that telling adults mean that there can be ramifications, but remember that if you are genuinely scared, then an adult needs to be there to keep everyone safe. Very bluntly: Trust can be rebuilt but you can't bring people back from some other very permanent decisions.

Again, you are a wonderful person, and a fantastic friend. But remember to take yourself into account and stay safe in all ways. I know this is probably not the advice you want to hear, but I hope maybe you'll consider it.

Sending so much love! <3 <3 <3

[felixcosm]

Hi u know me but like I’m too anxious to send this off anon . So hi uh I just found out I’m a system I think? Another person fronted for the first time last night and I’m sort of scared and you’re a system and older than me and . I’d like some advice if you can give it. Idk. Sorry

Hey anon, first of all congrats on your syscovery! I remember the first time I realized hey there might be another person fronting rn and it was a very weird feeling, so I get you with being nervous.

The first few times might feel a bit strange, sort of like trying out new pronouns or names, or dressing as your preferred gender for the first time in public. A sort of out-of-place is-this-really-happening feeling.

I think the main advice I'd give is let go of your expectations of what it is supposed to feel or look like. Having similar experiences to other systems is great (and there will be some overlap) but it doesn't have to feel like anything in particular.

For me, sometimes when someone else switches it feels like dissasociation, like I (Felix) am slowly fading into the background and someone else is stepping forward. Sometimes it's just waking up and going 'huh I use different pronouns now'.

As someone with dissassociation and memory problems, keeping track of who is fronting and what they'd like to be called helped me a lot to develop a sense of who's who. It might feel a bit blurry in the beginning, where you don't know who is around and that's perfectly fine, it happens.

If you can, I'd recommend getting SimplyPlural (it's a free app where you can make profiles for every headmate and track when they front and even make chat rooms for your system in case you want to talk amongst yourselves) or even just jot it down in your journal.

I've found that not every switch comes with memory loss but sometimes recalling what happened can be fuzzy.

I know I said let go of expectations, but what helped me is also going through plural tags and blogs and reading what other system say, it helps take the 'oh shit what is happening' to a more 'oh yeah, this happens sometimes' level.

And lastly, don't be afraid to talk to the other person! If you can communicate with them, ask them a bit about themself and what they want to be called. Their existence doesn't have to be scary, sometimes being a system is really like having a secret club of friends in your head x)

If you have any more questions or concerns, or anything like that, feel free to send me another ask!

Some blogs I'd recommend

@joypunk-plural

@positivitygenic

@reminders-for-systems

@keeplivingsystems

@multiplicity-positivity

Also check out Pluralpedia for learning more about terms and the different kinds of systems there are!

[borderlinereminders]

hi aa sorry i rambled in the tags of a post i reblogged from u bc your recent posts have all resonated hardcore and they always do in a reassuring or helpful advice kinda way, but since this made me think of a few questions u might have good advice for i wanted to send an ask too (dw abt answering quickly or at all tho, i am vibing and it also helps me to reach out in general even if its just expressing stuff if ur not sure how to respond aaa)

i wanted to ask if there are resources to learn DBT skills that dont involve group and individual therapy ? either resources to help someone go through the workbook on their own or if individual therapy is ever offered for that

and if you have advice for ways to find support as an autistic adult ? ive been curious if there are support groups anywhere, ideally online bc idk if thered be any near me, bc hearing about other peoples experiences has helped me a lot recently and things have been extra hard recently w all that for me, i think i am autistic burnout mode and meltdowns have gotten often and more horrible and i feel ive learned some how to manage that for myself but it's hard and hard to find advice or people who understand this experience

so i wanted to ask about any type of support that could offer advice or reassurance for experiences like meltdowns

thank u so much, this blog gives a lot of hope and support to me ♡♡♡ you are so amazing amd people sharing advice and experiences like you do makes me feel seen and understood and reassured and less alone and more validated bc it can be hard to struggle and not know how to help yourself, but even harder to feel like it's unreasonable to struggle and ive always felt like that pretty often so it helps to know other people can relate and that there is hope even if stuff wont look the same for everyone, and i think letting go of the expectation to be like everyone else helps a lot too

thank u for the validation and reassurance and good advice always ♡

Hi anon,

Some of my favourite worksheets are on therapistaid. I’m not sure what resources to suggest to aid getting through them, but I find these worksheets to clearly lay stuff out with examples which I always find helpful!

Here’s a link!

I’m sorry I don’t have advice for the rest. Maybe some followers have ideas about finding support as an autistic adult?

Also, thanks for the kind words!

[soracities]

hii sorry for sliding this in ur asks (u can totally not answer it if u don’t want to) i think i’m madly in love w a girl but we have gone on only two dates and idk if i’m rushing things a bit, but i have a strong feeling that she might be the one. the way i absolutely can’t stop thinking about her in my waking and sleeping hours, this is literally tearing me apart idk what to do about it — do u have any advice? pls help me if u can, really appreciate it <33

sweet anon you are both in the PR stage you're in love with an idea right now, not a person--not saying you do not genuinely like her but you do not know each other enough to have a grasp of her as a person, you only know how she makes you feel and all these feelings are a response to something from within you: they are hopes and projections fuelled by excitement and maybe a dash of novelty which is very common (and normal, we've all been there) but they can create a bit of a smokescreen that makes it harder to look at your situation clearly, if that makes sense.

i think it will be helpful to try and pause for a bit to ask yourself where those feelings are coming from and what they are in response to-- what exactly is it she gives you that you have not had before? what is her presence representing for you? why is this so important to you? when you are thinking about her constantly, what exactly are those thoughts about? are they in the here and now, or an imagined future? are they based on anything solid she has said or done, or are they more your own daydreams and hopes taking centre stage? is there anything in your life that you feel is lacking or empty and that these feelings are a welcome distraction from?

again, absolutely not dismissing your feelings here but i think it's very easy sometimes to let the excitement of finding someone we like (and who likes us back) run away with us sometimes. at this stage, because it is so early, and because you don't know someone enough they are, essentially, kind of a blank slate for you to pin your own feelings and hopes to--as i said, everyone goes through this at some point, but it's important to try and maintain awareness of this so that you are able to be attentive to the other person as a person, and yourself, too, in a way that is fair to the both of you and allows you to express yourselves, and meet each other, openly and honestly. most realisations we have about a person in these scenarios first require us to know that person for themselves--and this takes time.

i think it's important, right now, that you allow yourself to keep busy and remain active in your life outside of your dates and conversations with the girl you're seeing--not saying to ignore her at all, but to make sure you have other lines of focus too and not to neglect whatever you enjoyed doing, or the other relationships, activities etc that you had before her: keep in touch and meet up with your friends often, or set little goals for yourself during the week--eg., "i'll get in an hour at the gym on thursday" "i'll go for a swim" "i'll try this new restaurant with a friend" "i'll go to the cinema to see xyz" "i'm going to try and make this recipe for lunch / dinner / dessert" etc.

forcing yourself not to think about someone is borderline impossible and is only going to make them an even more powerful presence in your mind (trying not to think about something requires, by definition, that you do think about them which makes for a fabulously frustrating circle) so the best thing to do is to limit how much free time you actually have to do that thinking in--this way your brain is occupied enough that it cannot spend as long fantasising and YOU can stay relatively sane.

i hope your interactions with this girl go well, anon, and i hope that as much as you can, you're able to check in with yourself and understand how you're feeling so you can put everything into a more intentional and aware framework for yourself as your feelings evolve. hope this helps even just a little, sending you lots of love (and support!!) 🤍

[and-bone-appetit]

helloooo!! sorry to ask this but i plan on doing ur dtiys, and i wanted some advice on how to draw blood? (to someone whos never drawn it before) ^^

Hi! So, when it comes to drawing blood I like to just draw something messy and in the general shape of the splatter I want it to look like, also add some stray splatters here and there. Then I use a smudge tool to make it more ‘splattery?’ If I don’t like how it looks I either add more or erase some of it or start over. I’m so sorry anon, idk how to give advice on drawing blood T-T

The best thing to do would be searching up references (bc references r amazing), to experiment on drawing it, and to keep in mind that there is no strict, perfect way on how to draw blood. The messier the better! Hope this helps u in some way!

[lover-of-mine]

“Anon who straight up spoiled the loft scene for me last week, can you come back with your thoughts for the rest of the season? I'm curious to see your line of thought and I'm so sorry I doubted you 🩷”

i don’t know if you mean me or not but i DID send you a message recently about how the buddie loft scene could parallel the bucktommy loft scene… i’m shocked that i was sort of right honestly 😭

i know it wasn’t an exact parallel but… the dark warm lighting?? the soft discussion?? the Moment (kiss/hug) in the exact same spot between the table and island?? tommy/eddie leaving with advice to call eddie/tommy?? the final shot of buck letting out a sigh of relief??

gotta be on purpose surely??

i haven’t had the chance to think about the rest of the season yet lmao but in my opinion, last nights episode wasn’t bad for buddie i don’t think? there were lots of lines that could be revisited in the context of canon buddie if they choose to go there, like bobby’s advice, the catholic guilt, “i wish i could help” lmaooooo. and the interviews too! ryan basically saying women are all eddie knows but he thinks eddie will start exploring what he doesn’t?? lou saying it was meant to be eddie/tommy?? so queer eddie was/is on the table, the writers can see that a queer arc would lend well to his character/storyline just like we can??

slightly unrelated, but people are already saying that ryan is against kissing boys lol so that’s why it was bucktommy instead… 1. we definitely know that’s not true and 2. he’s right that a queer arc wouldn’t fit eddie right now? starting s7 he was with a woman but buck was single, so it made sense to be buck even though i wish with every fiber of my being that they had still gone with eddie haha

idk i’m always gonna be hopeful for buddie until the series finale and even then i’m still gonna ship them (save me fix it fics). but i do not understand people closing on buddie, it really feels like they’re keeping the possibility more open than they ever have before for their relationship to change in the future ❤️

Yeah, I'm pretty sure it is you because I think that was the only ask I got about the loft scene paralleling the Bucktommy kiss and I legit was like "dude the anon was right" and had to race here to check kspsksoaksokas I really didn't think they were gonna be as on the nose as they were but they really were and I'm still ???? about because the whole you're not sure of your feelings thing with Maddie and everything with Tommy, Buck still not knowing what he wants but the VERY obvious parallels between both scenes are gonna drive me crazy lol please come back and tell me the thoughts once you figure them out, I'm genuinely curious to see what you think because you did get the vibe right and vibes are the thing that keep confusing me tbh

And honestly, Ryan acts like his main purpose in life is to be allowed to get paid to make out with Oliver, what do you mean he doesn't want to kiss boys? I don't think switching this arc around would work as well as it does for Eddie, I think realistically, freshly single Eddie would be a lot more freaked out if a guy he's known for a few weeks just kissed him, I don't think the progression we are seeing with Buck would work the same way because Eddie sexuality is set up differently, Buck has always been more casual about the physicality of a relationship, we literally haven't even seen Eddie kiss someone besides Shannon until last night. I know it wouldn't be a direct one on one switch, but I think letting Buck figure out with someone else's help while letting Eddie think about what it could mean for him that Buck is a guy and he's dating a guy, and he's dating a guy Eddie has a lot in common with that could get Eddie to be like "huh, maybe they do have the right idea" and look into the possibility of him being attracted to men on his own will makes a lot more sense, if that's the thing direction this is going. It was the impression I got from Eddie's contemplative *huh* upon finding out Tommy is gay, because considering how the show established how similar Eddie and Tommy are, to have Eddie be a little "oh i didn't know this was an option for us" even more since they are finally adding the religious trauma angle to canon, like, we knew, but good to know Eddie knows now too, could lead to something interesting. It's like we've all been saying, Buck's needs to figure out he's into men but Eddie needs to figure out he's into Buck. Buck is already there, and Eddie could trip into the realization whenever they want him to. Dude has been there ever since the end of season 5, Eddie knows how to soul search, he just needs the right trigger. This might be it. This feels like it could be it. It's getting too close to the point for them not to get there. All I know is I will be on the boat until the show ends and then stay on the boat because what if there's a revival and they suddenly decide it's time to make them canon yk? No one will ever take the hope away from me.

Also, thank you for coming back 🩷🩷

[fairyhaos]

if you were to ship your moots/anons with svt members what would the pairings be? (and why?) (just the ones that come to mind immediately)

ooh okay uhhh this is a bit difficult let's see

i ship @kyeomyun with hoshi! jada is bright, caring, and gives away parts of herself so so easily, and i think that hoshi is someone who would match her energy (whether she's all hyper or whether she's having a down day) and would love and adore her for everything she gives him and would give 10x back

i ship @icyminghao with minghao! little bear is like. so fucking adorable and perky and honestly she's like a better, funnier version of me fr and i think she'll be able to bring out the playfulness in hao through just how approachable and sweet she is.

i ship @blue-jisungs with seungcheol :) idrk for this one but axe kinda gives me the vibes of going for someone who's really lovely but also someone she can depend on? and who better else than cheol to always be by her side :D

i ship @rubywonu with dino <3 nia is chill but also so much fun and chaotic when she wants to be, and dino would be more than eager to match his energy with hers!! he'd be endlessly supporting of her and endlessly positive which i feel works vv well with nia

i ship @etherealyoungk with wonu :> skye is very loml brilliant wonderful always-there-for-you lover vibes and that's something that complements wonwoo's personality perfectly. she'll constantly check up on him whenever he's down, and in return he's entirely loyal to her and will be there for her whenever she needs

i ship @mirxzii with dokyeom!! she's chipper, easy to banter with, and very sweet and i can see kyeom just doting on her and making exaggerated gasps while she relays her latest piece of gossip to him. he's not gonna be the best w advice, but he's there for moral support, and honestly that would be more than enough <3

i ship @slytherinshua with vernon! zanna can carry a conversation so so well and she has multitudes of topics and thoughts that she can pluck out of nowhere and ramble for ages. vernon would be in awe, and they'd have heated debates about kdramas and movies for days on end

i ship @ylliris-hanniehae with junhui <3 this one might sound a bit odd, but junhui is a very soft person, very adorable and youthful and he'd fit with ylli very well in that way. he'd take care of her very well, and acts as the warm and welcoming arms that are ready to hug her at the end of a long day

that's all i can do! the rest of the members, idk if they fit that well with my moots and idk if i know my remaining moots well enough to assign members to u im sorry </3