#sorry i keep remembering more things

[whitefangz]

sorry i need to overshare on tumblr dot com. nothing serious but it might be long so im putting it under a readmore

i started seeing a therapist in june and just stopped and i am not intending this to come across as anti therapy in any way but im like LASKJF idk. i need to tell somebody else about this. I contacted her in like mid May i think and i specifically sought her out bc she said she does cognitive behavioral therapy and ive read thats a good option for people dealing w my issues and started seeing her in june and like. The first couple of times were fine i honestly didnt really like it but everyone and their dog is always like ohhh it always kinda sucks at first and also i simply hate talking about my feelings etc so i expected that. fine whatever. anyway red flag number one was that she didnt seem to understand how insurance works at all and said i could just pay her on venmo. and i was like. Um ok. but she said i wouldnt need to for a couple weeks so i just left it alone. red flag number two is that one time she brought her enormous dog and it lunged at me and tried to bite me in the face. LASJKFG which to be honest. I almost walked out at that point and i mean she was very apologetic + usual dog owner "he never does that im so sorry!!!!!!" and removed him from the office but like Who fucking brings their horse sized dog to a therapy appt without asking if the person is ok with it. And like she was accredited and shit its not like i was going to see someone in their basement. i would ignore these if i thought her sessions were like remotely helpful but all she would do was like. Ask me about what i did and then tell me not to do that. Like i pace around the house a lot when im anxious. and she would be like well try not to do that. ok! see you next week. Like. Do you think ive not thought of that one. she also kept insisting that my phobia has to be like rooted in some kind of trauma or that its actually Secretly about being afraid of embarrassment and i would be like. i dont think its either of those things. and then she'd be like Ok well i don't really know how to help you :/ Which honestly idk. i was put off by her saying that repeatedly as is but then last week she just decided she was going to make me try exposure therapy which i told her before i don't want to do / don't feel ready to do right now. i just want to focus on managing the anxiety first. and she just like told me to do it anyway LJKFD idk. i emailed her to tell her i didnt want to continue and she was like that's ok. you might want to try EMDR therapy. btw you still ahve to pay me on venmo. and im just sitting here like 1) No i dont think i will need to try that and 2) I paid her thru my insurance like a normal person LASKJF like i dont know. i feel like i dodged a bullet or something. i'll try again someday but at this point im just happy to stop paying $20 a week for a woman to tell me to meditate. perhaps this is an uninteresting wall of text but if you read this far picture me shaking your hand. just a life update from me

[astearisms]

fionna and cake drawings before and after watching the episodes so far. it’s nostalgic and somehow cathartic and poignant and relatable and—it just started

[natjennie]

what's weird about the fantasy high drama is that like. it seems to me like people forget d&d is primarily a) a game you play with your friends and also b) luck based.

I mean it's fine to say that "nothing felt like a challenge" and "they just dominated everything and there weren't any stakes" but like. it's not as if they weren't up against huge threats. they lost the mall fight. the last stand was an onslaught of enemies. they fought a dozen dragons from an airship. the fights were hard. they're just really good. they've had very good dice luck in general this season and are all very high level and highly specialized. fig is gonna beat deception and performance checks. adaine's gonna figure out the arcana. riz is gonna succeed investigations. like. for some reason their strategical competence and wisely picked abilities are. a downside? a disappointment?

the thing about d&d that you need to remember is it's first and foremost a game. it's mostly random and it takes you down weird paths and you're playing to have fun with your friends. the dice are literally telling the story that it's their time, it's their year. they've struggled enough. they've trained enough. they're good at what they do. and in my post about the academic/domestic/personal stressors being the focus, d&d doesn't have any other system to work them out than rolling different skills. that's what d&d is. brennan set specific challenge levels for different tasks and the players strategized to prioritize which abilities they were strongest in. the challenges were there. and the players rose to them. they were both smart in their delegation of responsibilities and lucky with their dice rolls. of which, both are foundations of d&d.

don't mistake them being good players and getting lucky with there being no hardship. just because they smashed through the wall, that doesn't mean the wall wasn't strong. they were just stronger.

[lazycranberrydoodles]

woe mundane monopoly headcanons be upon ye

follow for more of modern au hua cheng’s outfits

[lesliemeyers]

dinner plans

[palskippah]

Basically the magma drawing but it's the bros?? I just drew them and then their parents taking pictures, I didn't mean to copy myself alsdkasd

Anyways- BABY BROS

-They had their hats from when they were very young, and even though their mama wasn't very fond of them she still sews their initials in them pipipi

-Also, an idea I had a while ago but I never drew is that papa Mario took them to buy clothes with his brother (Arthur?? I'm gonna call him Arturo aksdj) and they had the full intention and orders from mama Mario to buy the twins matching dresses for a holiday party or smth, but they saw little baby overalls on sale and also hats AND also shirts and they were like- no way, we have to buy that, look how cheap yet good quality it is! They'd be idiots to not take the sale.

>So then mama Mario is like- ...? Where are the dresses?? 🤨

>And papa Mario says- These were on sale, my love!! 🤑 while both him and Arturo hold the babies in their arms, showing her their new little outfits for the christmas party (they're perfect bc they're green and red and also they're such good quality they actually keep wearing them until they no longer fit)

-Maybe their dad keeps buying the same color for each baby? Or he takes advantage of the christmas sales, so each year for a few months Luigi and Mario wear green and red, respectively.

>Mama Mario thinks they could switch which baby wears each color, but papa Mario says it's better that way so they can tell which one is which (which has mama Mario laughing to his face bc the babies are fraternal twins and it's not very hard to tell which one is which c'mon Carlo)

-Yeah their dad's name is gonna be Carlo in my mind bc that's the italian form of Charles, and for funsies what if their mom's name is Martina :y

-Also I don't care how it actually is, I'll say that Arturo is Carlo's brother and Uncle Tony (Antonio) is Martina's brother bc what do you mean all the relatives come from the dad's side?? Also, aunt Marie is still aunt Marie, love her. And the nonno is still Carlo and Arturo's dad ajskdja

-Carlo and Martina were the firsts to have babies and the uncles made fun of them bc they got too mushy sometimes with Mario and Luigi, like always trying to take pictures of them or being excessively congratulating when they did anything and stuff (also maybe they were kinda young parents or smth, having the twins not very long after they got married). When Arturo and Marie have their own baby Carlo (and also Mario and Luigi, who are like eleven and totally up to be annoying to their uncle) make fun of him if he's too mushy with his baby too.

[faaun]

Jack Marsh (2005), Friendship Otherwise - Toward a Levinasian Description of Personal Friendship

[yuriyuruandyuraart]

annoyed

[this-machine-runs-on-coffee]

"THE BALLAD OF JANE DOE" THIS IS NOT AN EXACT TRANSLATION, THIS IS AN ADAPTATION (AND ONE THAT STILL NEEDS TONS OF FIXING AT THAT)

I started this at the beginning of June, forgot about it, remembered it, that happened like thrice, opened yesterday my notes app, found the beginning of it, ended it, polished it up, kept on polishing it up this morning, didn't give a single fuck about the syllable unless once or twice, tried my best with the rhymes but massively fucked up, so here you have this little shit!

ASK ME FOR PERMISSION BEFORE USING THIS, DO CREDIT ME IF YOU EVER USE THIS (I doubt you will it’s impractical and still needs so much fixing it’s unbelievable) AND TELL ME/LINK WHATEVER YOU USED IT FOR USING REBLOGS (because for some reason Tumblr doesn’t like comments with links and while I do think I understand why I don’t always like it)

(the apostrophes [or however ’ is called] are used to shorten the number of syllables often in poetry so I’m obviously abusing that power.)

Alcuni diran che ne siam fuori Muovendo margherite, dopo che muori Ma i vermi necessitan dei nostri cuori C'è solo una paura ricorrente Qui, l'anima mia, è presente O sta marcendo in trappola tra i miei pori? Anima mia Anima mia Anima mia Anima mia Ooh-ooh-ooh-ooh Ooh-ooh-ooh-ooh Ah-ah Ahh-ahh-ah Senz'anima mia, corp'innominato Niente storia, che peccato Crudel'esistenza fu sol'una farsa Oh, San Pietro, famm'entrar Saprai dove la mia testa può star Non mi dirai infine chi son io? Chi son io Chi son io Chi son io Chi son io Ooh-ooh-ooh-ooh Ooh-ooh-ooh-ooh Ah-ahh Ahh-ah-ah E dal terreno, dove vivrai Sento l'angoscia di chi non sai ('N cor che completo è mai) E com'una vecchia dimenticata melodia Una canzone che nessuno sa Dimenticato come fa Solo John ed io Sempr'e per sempre una, Jane Doe E mi chiedo, "Perché, Dio? Se quest'è come muoio, Dio Perché rimaner senza famiglia E amici?" (Ooh) Non'ho avut'una celebrazione Solo 'sta consolazione Crono mangia tutt'i suoi figli alla fine 'Na melodia l'aria'ttraversa Quando cade il silenzio, chi s'interessa? (Chi s'interessa?) 'N'altra triste, dimenticata melodia 'N'altra canzone che nessuno sa Quindi quell'è come fa Solo John ed io Sempr'e per sempre una, Jane Doe E ti chiede, "Perché, Dio?" (Perché, perché, perché, perché?) "Non'è modo di morir, Dio!" (Nessun'a cantar, nessun'a sospirar) Ora che tutt'è dett'e fatto Non c'è nessuno a dirmi chi sono io? Niente canzoni di celebrazione Solo 'sta triste speculazione Come John, sarò eternamente Un nome dimenticato, che qualcun'ha'bbandonato Solo "Jane" Jane Doe ('Na melodia l'aria'ttraversa) (Quando cade il silenzio, chi s'interessa?) (Jane) (Doe)

So, direct translation! (used in this [and in this sometimes!] to specify the meanings and explain certain word choices)

Some might say we're out Moving daisies, after you're dead But we all know the worms need our hearts There's just one reoccurring fear Here, my soul, is it present Or is it rotting trapped within my pores? My soul My soul My soul My soul Ooh-ooh-ooh-ooh Ooh-ooh-ooh-ooh Ah-ah Ahh-ahh-ah Without my soul, unnamed body Wihout a story, what a shame Cruel existence was only a farce Oh, Saint Peter, let me in You must know where my head could be(/stay/reside) Won't you tell me at last who I am? Who I am Who I am Who I am Who I am Ooh-ooh-ooh-ooh Ooh-ooh-ooh-ooh Ah-ahh Ahh-ah-ah And from the terrain, where you will live I hear the anguish of who you don't know (A choir that's never complete) And like an old forgotten tune A song that no one knows Forgot how it goes(/does) Just John and I Forever eternally(/Forever and for forever/forever and ever) a, Jane Doe And I'm askin', "Why, Lord? If this is how I die, Lord Why remain with no family And no friends?" (Ooh) I haven't had a celebration Just this (but a "this" you say in a quick way [because 'sta is short for questa, yup you take away one entire syllable], almost angry or if you're without patience or at times simply because it's shorter) consolation Chrono (get it? Because they say time [but for time in italian you'd better use an article (]a, an, the, those ones) or it'll sound weird] and Chrono wasn't the Titan of Time? And didn't he eat his all his children-Zeus? I might be wrong [I doubt though] but I think this works ok) eats all his children in the end A melody passes through (it literally throughs the air how do I say that) the air When silence falls, who's interested (in it)? (Who's interested?) Another sad, forgotten tune Another song that no one knows So that's how it goes(/does) Just John and I (to try to rhyme it []rather uselessly because it wasn't needed but it's alright anyway] with Doe and God [in Italian it's Dio]) Forever eternally(/Forever and for forever/forever and ever) a, Jane Doe And she's askin' you, "Why, Lord?" (Why, why, why, why?) (why not put the "Oh"? Because in Italian Why [Perché] has two syllables and I need to try my best to fit everything [I literally haven't counted the syllables for anything but oh well]) "("This" is implied) is no way to die, Lord!" (No one to sing, no one to sigh) Now that all is said and done Isn't there anyone to tell me who I am? No songs of celebration Just this (the "this" in Italian, just like the last time in a similar verse, is missing a syllable) sorry speculation Like John, I'll be eternally A forgotten name, that someone abandoned Just "Jane" Jane Doe (A melody passes through [is "throughs the air"something you can say?] the air) (When silence falls, who's interested [in it]?) (Jane) (Doe)

OG LYRICS (if you’re seeing this I doubt you don’t know them, but here they are anyway):

Some might say we're released Pushing daisies, deceased But we all know the worms must be fed There's just one lingering fear Oh, my soul, is it here Or is it rotting somewhere with my head? Oh, my soul Oh, my soul Oh, my soul Oh, my soul Ooh-ooh-ooh-ooh Ooh-ooh-ooh-ooh Ah-ah Ahh-ahh-ah Oh, no soul, and no name And no story, what a shame Cruel existence was only a sham Oh, Saint Peter, let me in You must know where I've been Won't you tell me at last who I am? Who I am Who I am Who I am Who I am Ooh-ooh-ooh-ooh Ooh-ooh-ooh-ooh Ah-ahh Ahh-ah-ah And from the ground, beneath my feet I hear the anguish of the street (A choir never complete) And like an old forgotten tune A song that no one knows Forgot how it goes Just John and me Forever eternally, Jane Doe And I'm askin', "Why, Lord? If this is how I die, Lord Why be left with no family And no friends?" (Ooh) I've got no celebration Just this consolation Time eats all his children in the end A melody floats through the air When silence falls, does no one care? (Does anyone care?) Another sad, forgotten tune Another song that no one knows So that's how it goes Just John and me Forever eternally, Jane Doe And she's askin', "Why, Lord?" (Why, oh why, oh why, oh why?) "This is no way to die, Lord!" (No one to sing, no one to sigh) Now that all is said and done Isn't there anyone to tell me who I am? No singing songs of celebration Just this sorry speculation Like John, I'll be eternally A forgotten name, some lost refrain Just "Jane" Jane Doe (A melody floats through the air) (When silence falls, does no one care?) (Jane) (Doe)

[butterflieswhisper]

hiiii ^^ beastlife fishie analysis. spoilers ahead. etc etc

okay so. the main point of this is simple. I don't think the salmon head cursed c!fishie. Explaining that is the harder part I think. also i'm going to refer to the salmon head thing in e5 as "the incident" from here on out because frankly i think it's funny

Let's start with the incident. The big day. etc. What happened? Why did it happen? Obligatory third questioning statement? Well. She was gifted the salmon head for her birthday by kiwi(or like. someone in the kiwibird system. -bird system. the birds). Immediately upon receiving it she relives parts of season one and fishie herself doesn't really acknowledge it. The other players definitely notice but im not caught up enough in any other pov yet to like have thoughts on that I'll come back to that point someday. Fishie seems shaken, sure, but she moves on so quickly, especially considering what happened just there. 37 seconds of standing frozen, unresponsive. she recovers in 5 seconds. And seeing how she reacts later on to realizing the memory situation--if she was aware that happened, she would probably be concerned by it. She puts it on for a brief second at the end of the party and takes it off immediately. She's otherwise normal -- well. as normal as she is otherwise up to that point. Because that is also how she acts with pretty much any salmon head, even just kiwi herself.

I raise: Episode one, about 8:20 in. The slow zoom on kiwi as the static overtakes every other noise. This is the *exact* same behavior displayed when fishie receives the salmon head, albeit without actual concrete old video footage style flashbacks. In episode two (28:55ish) the same thing happens when she looks at the salmon head in moch's house, but this time there is technically a flashback -- kiwis grave. Fishie moves on immediately and doesn't acknowledge her behavior at all, and, seeing as it is fishie, im inclined to believe that means she does not know she is doing it. Fishie (when alone) will discuss all of her problems in immense, and usually misguided detail (bestie i promise kiwi doesn't hate you???) to the audience and/or herself. I mean she's not alone in episode one, and it is technically presession, and i guess getting struck by lightning is a decent distraction from your problems, but in episode two? She is completely alone. There is nobody with her. She went looking for moch and moch is not there. She still doesn't acknowledge the fiveish seconds she is completely frozen. This happens again and again with kiwi and salmon heads.

And then that leads you to e5. The incident. She's. well. she's doing worse. 0:50. "This will distract me if i leave it up." This is the first mention from fishie herself about how fucking weird she's being, and even then she doesn't seem concerned. I think she does not realize she's being so so incredibly weird about it. If the static and freezing is what's referred to as "distraction" then keeping it in her inventory makes it worse actually so it wouldn't really make sense unless the way it is distracting her is NOT the. well. whatever the fuck is wrong with her (affectionate). After she puts the head on there's the static all the time but for a short brief amount of time she's like significantly more normal and i don't really know if that means anything i just think it's really funny.

And then we all know what goes on during the incident i'm not analyzing this video frame by frame. um. i could. but i am not going to right now. And then she has the conversation on the table with kiwi where she like is normal for 5 minutes. Like genuinely the most. i guess stable? fishie's thought process is is like in the moments directly after the incident. She is immediately understanding with the antikiwi situation, they come to an agreement that they're like. okay now. "thank you for everything and im so sorry i couldnt do more" / "it was short, but it was nice" "i knew what i was getting into when i married you" etc etc and then they kind of rush it at the end because people won't stop dying. But then fishie is fishie and takes it in the complete opposite extreme (from. um. whatever was wrong up until now. to "oh kiwibird must secretly hate me because" and then there's no real good reason she's just like that) and it's also an issue. And i think the season two memory thing is also a part of that but this is so long already and so i'm not going to get into it rn. So bringing all of this back to my original point: the salmon head was not the cause of the curse(?) because she's been so weird all the time forever and the salmon head thing was just like. an effect. of whatever went Wrong(tm) in the season transition. like the head was a vessel to Be Worse about it but i feel like it would have worked with any salmon head she got her hands on and that it happened to be kiwico was a coincidence and also that the head wasn't cursed at all there's just something deeply wrong with fishie s3 in general and uh yeah 👍

I'm so sorry this is so disjointed i had a thesis statement and everything. alas

[strawberrycamel]

ninjago seabound hurts. so much. what the fuck

[bogdreamz]

SOOO WHAT DO YOU THINK ABOUT SEASON 4???

(love your art btw!!!)

smeltbracket found dead in this kitchen

[lilac-udon]

[cryolyst]

~

[siiversans]

good morning guys gink is apparently canon in underverse

[this-machine-runs-on-coffee]

"FREEZE YOUR BRAIN" THIS IS NOT AN EXACT TRANSLATION, THIS IS AN ADAPTATION (AND ONE THAT STILL NEEDS TONS OF FIXING AT THAT)

I regret my life choices of not being able to actually start studying. Here's "Freeze Your Brain" adapted in Italian!

ASK ME FOR PERMISSION BEFORE USING THIS, DO CREDIT ME IF YOU EVER USE THIS (I doubt you will it’s impractical and still needs so much fixing it’s unbelievable) AND TELL ME/LINK WHATEVER YOU USED IT FOR USING REBLOGS (because for some reason Tumblr doesn’t like comments with links and while I do think I understand why I don’t always like it)

(the apostrophes [or however ’ is called] are used to shorten the number of syllables often in poetry so I’m obviously abusing that power.)

[J.D.] Sono stato in dieci superiori Tutte la stessa scenetta Inutile abituarsi Perché ce ne andiamo di fretta Mio padre tiene nel baule pronti due bagagli Quindi è solo una questione di ricaricarli I nomi non imparo Che faccia è di chi non m'è chiaro La fiducia in questa oasi di cemento riparo Sembra che ogni volta che sto per disperarmi C'è un 7-Eleven ad aspettarmi Ogni negozio è lo stesso Da Las Vegas all'Ohio Corsie di linoleum che adoro Vagare io Prego al mio altare di granita; Sì, adoro quella dolce botta di vita...

Congela il cervello Succhia dalla cannuccia Meglio di un coltello Arriva la felicità Quando tutto se ne va A chi serve uno spinello? Congela il cervello Congela il cervello

[J.D., parlato] Ti va un tiro?

[VERONICA, parlato] La tua mammina sa che mangi tutta quella merda?

[J.D., parlato] Non più

(cantato) Quando mamma era viva Vivevamo quasi normalmente Ora siamo solo io e mio padre Stiamo meno formalmente Ho imparato a cucinare Le tasse a pagare; Imparato che'l mondo Nemmeno un cent ti vorrà dare Il tuo futuro hai pianificato Veronica Sawyer Andrai a qualche college E sposerai un avvocato Ma il cielo farà male Quando su di te sarà demolito Quindi è meglio se Il tuo muro l'avrai già costruito...

Congela il cervello Nuota nel ghiaccio Perditi nel suo doloroso bello Chiudi bene i tuoi occhi Fino a che non ti vedran quegli sciocchi Non diventare uno zimbello

Congela il cervello Distruggiti il teschio Combatti il dolore con uno più bello Dimentica chi sei Liberati da quel peso Dimentica in un mese e mezzo Riavrai lo stesso frainteso Quando la voce nella tua testa Dice ch'uno come te è meglio se non resta Non ascoltare a quello

Solo congela il cervello Congela il cervello Vai avanti e congela il cervello...

(parlato) Provaci So, direct translation! (used in this to specify the meanings and explain certain word choices)

[J.D.] I've been through ten high schools They're all the same little scene (but little in this case is meant in a negative light) No point getting used to it 'Cause we're gone in a hurry My dad keeps two suitcases ready in the den So it's only a matter of refilling(/repacking) them I don't learn the names Whose faces is whose isn't clear to me My trust resides in this concrete oasis Seems every time I'm about to despair There's a 7-Eleven waiting for me Each store is the same From Las Vegas to Ohio Linoleum aisles that I love To walk around in I pray at my altar of slush; Yeah, I live for sweet hit of life (or however you call that, basically gives life force again but something that gives you life force not in a literal sense)...

Freeze your brain Suck from that straw Better than a knife Happiness comes When everything goes Who needs a joint? Freeze your brain Freeze your brain

[J.D., spoken] You want a hit?

[VERONICA, spoken] Does your mommy know you eat all that crap?

[J.D., spoken] Not anymore

(sung) When mom was alive We lived almost normally But now it's just me and my dad We live less formally I learned to cook pasta To pay taxes; Learned the world Won't want to give you even a cent You've planned your future Veronica Sawyer You'll go to some college And marry a lawyer But the sky's gonna hurt When it'll be demolished on you So it'll be better if You'll have already built your wall

Freeze your brain Swim in the ice Get lost in its beautiful pain Shut your eyes tight(/well) Till those fools (sorry I had to use this for the rhyme) won't see you Don't become a laughingstock

Freeze your brain Destroy your skull Fight pain with a more beautiful one Forget who you are Free yourself from that weight Forget in a month and a half You'll have the same misunderstanding again When the voice in your head Says someone like you is better off gone Don't listen to that guy(/him)

Just freeze your brain Freeze your brain Go on and freeze your brain...

(spoken) Try it OG LYRICS (if you’re seeing this I doubt you don’t know them, but here they are anyway):

[J.D.] I've been through ten high schools They start to get blurry No point planting roots 'Cause you're gone in a hurry My dad keeps two suitcases packed in the den So it's only a matter of when I don't learn the names Don't bother with faces All I can trust is this concrete oasis Seems every time I'm about to despair There's a 7-Eleven right there Each store is the same From Las Vegas to Boston Linoleum aisles that I love To get lost in I pray at my altar of slush; Yeah, I live for that sweet frozen rush...

Freeze your brain Suck on that straw Get lost in the pain Happiness comes When everything numbs Who needs cocaine? Freeze your brain Freeze your brain See upcoming pop shows Get tickets for your favorite artists

[J.D., spoken] Care for a hit?

[VERONICA, spoken] Does your mommy know you eat all that crap?

[J.D., spoken] Not anymore

(sung) When mom was alive We lived halfway normal But now it's just me and my dad We're less formal I learned to cook pasta I learned to pay rent; Learned the world Doesn't owe you a cent You're planning your future Veronica Sawyer You'll go to some college And marry a lawyer But the sky's gonna hurt When it falls So you better start Building some walls...

Freeze your brain Swim in the ice Get lost in the pain Shut your eyes tight Till you vanish from sight Let nothing remain

Freeze your brain Shatter your skull Fight pain with more pain Forget who you are Unburden your load Forget in six weeks You'll be back on the road When the voice in your head Says you're better off dead Don't open a vein

Just freeze your brain Freeze your brain Go on and freeze your brain...

(spoken) Try it