#sorry i had a bit to much fun with the video game boss references

[perilegs]

i cut several inchess of my hair off (it reached past my shoulders now its back at like. chin/neck length) and no one at work has said anything bc it still looks the exact same

[sirfrogsworth]

Hard & Soft: An Explanation of Light

I was watching a video from one of my favorite tech YouTubers, Mr. Whose the Boss. He was showing off some of his favorite tech and pulled out this tiny LED light.

And then he placed a diffuser on the front and said this...

"You can equip a softbox on the front which *massively* softens the light on your face."

Sorry, Arun.

No it doesn't.

I sometimes wish I could get a job as a YouTube lighting advisor. So many creators have to set up and use professional lighting but very few actually have an understanding of how their lighting works. And with just a little knowledge they could up their lighting game big time.

If nothing else, I could stop the plague of ring lights.

Ring lights are my nemesis.

*shakes fist at ring lights*

Arun repeated a classic myth. Diffusing a light does *not* make it softer. And despite the name, a softbox is fully capable of producing hard light. Especially if it is only the size of your granddad's wallet.

I'm afraid softboxes are a bit misnamed—much like how the tremolo system on a guitar is technically a vibrato mechanism. Tremolo is a fluctuation of volume, not pitch. Personally, I just stick to calling it a whammy bar because that is more fun anyway. And, like, what does "whammy" even mean in the context of a guitar? I'd rather call something by a nonsensical name than an inaccurate one, ya know?

What the hell was I saying?

SOFTBOXES!

They should probably be called "light homogenizers." Which is a mouthful, but more accurate.

Or, hear me out... WHAMMY BOXES.

Froggie Note: I am trying a color coding technique to help make the most important information stand out. Red means PAY ATTENTION and blue means "do your best to remember this." Let me know if this is helpful or annoying or if a different color combo is preferred.

Hard Light vs. Soft Light

Hard light is a less flattering light source that creates high contrast, sharp shadows, and accentuates texture.

Soft light is a more flattering light source that creates soft shadows and reduces texture like pores, blemishes, and wrinkles.

You can *only* get hard or soft light by changing the apparent size of a light source from the subject's point of view.

If you remember only three things about light, they should be...

Bright light = sharp photos, less noise Hard light = small light source Soft light = large light source

Now, it's important to remember that hard light is not *bad* and soft light is not *good*. In photography, the oft-used parlance "flattering" just refers to the rendering of facial features and blemishes. So you might use a more flattering lens to make sure faces do not distort or a more flattering light modifier to reduce wrinkles.

But there are situations where soft light can be very boring and hard light can be much more dynamic and interesting. But if you have someone who is insecure about their skin or has a lot of blemishes, you can mitigate that by making the light softer. But if you have someone with great skin and a lot of angular facial features, you might use a hard light to show that off.

Which of these do you prefer?

The one on the left was taken with a 7 foot diameter light source and is *very* soft. But the other had a 1 foot diameter and I think it is more dynamic and interesting.

You can also mix hard and soft light. And with something like a parabolic reflector or a beauty dish, you can even modify a light source to be hard and soft at the same time.

This technological terror of a light modifier is sort of like having 24 individual small lights around the edges but the entire surface of the reflector also acts as a single large light source.

And when it isn't atomizing Alderaan, it is taking photos like this...

This creates a falloff of light around the edges of her face, nose, and arms while also reducing the intensity of the shadows. Lenses with longer focal lengths prevent distortion of facial features but also flatten our faces. So a modifier like this can bring back dimensionality.

Neat!

Now I just need $8,000 to buy the Death Star light.

There are a ton of possibilities when it comes to modifying light sources, but most people typically want the main light on the subject to be in the realm of soft and use hard light sources as edge lights.

Also, everything is a spectrum and light is no different. There is a giant space in between hard and soft to play with. In fact, the hardest light possible would be cast on a subject floating in space.

And the softest light possible would be on a planet that has 100% cloud coverage that still allows sunlight to scatter through.

So, I have determined the surface of Venus to be the most flattering light in the universe.

Look at how dark and sharp that astronaut shadow is! And I'm sure Venusian photography would be quite popular if you wouldn't burst into flames.

On planet Earth, noon on a clear day would be the hardest light and a very overcast day would be the softest light.

How can the sun be both hard and soft light?

Well, the sun is quite large, but it is very small in the sky and very far away. It is the only thing humans can observe that is close to a "point" light source—the smallest light source possible that shines light equally in all directions.

But on an overcast day, sunlight scatters through all of the clouds and becomes a HUGE homogenous light source. The clouds become a singular giant light above us. And as you can see, the light is so soft the woman does not have a hint of shadow on her face. And shadows can draw attention to pores, wrinkles, blemishes, and other textures.

But wouldn't the smallest light source be a laser or something?

When photographers refer to a small light source we mean from the perspective of the subject being lit. This is referred to as apparent or angular size.

But you also have to account for the size of the area the light source can illuminate.

This is the area a laser can light up.

And this is the area the sun is able to cats cast light upon.

It doesn't matter if a laser is close or far away, it focuses light onto a very small area. But the sun lights up half the planet. So look at imagine the apparent size of the sun in the sky and compare its size to half of the Earth. In that relative circumstance, the sun is a super tiny light source.

And the sun becomes an even tinier light source on the moon because there is no atmosphere or clouds to scatter and enlarge it.

You can change the apparent size of a light source in two ways...

The physical dimensions of the light and the distance from the subject.

A light with small dimensions can be a large light source if it is close enough and if the subject is small enough. So a flashlight could be a large light source for an ant if that flashlight is directly next to said ant. But a flashlight could never be a large light source to a human.

However, we can enlarge small light sources with modifiers.

A modifier can be a softbox. It can be a piece of paper. A large poster board. A wall or a ceiling. Anything that changes the nature of a light source can be a modifier. But not all modifiers increase the size of a light source.

So, you can take that flashlight, shine it on a wall, and reflect the light to make a giant light source capable of producing softer light.

But what you cannot do is put diffusion material directly in front of a flashlight and make the light it produces softer.

When Arun put that diffuser on the front of that tiny light, he was not making the light any bigger. He was only making the light more diffused.

What does diffusion *actually* do?

Diffusion scatters light. It makes light bounce in all directions and keeps it from being focused. And while this is an important aspect to making a light source larger, it does not change the apparent size of a light source on its own.

Diffused light is homogenous.

A homogenous light source has the same intensity across its entire surface area. And that homogenization is the key to creating a better soft light source. It can *assist* in making a light source larger, but only if you know how to wield that diffusion properly.

When you shine a flashlight toward a wall, you increase the apparent size of the light source.

Fantastic! You now have a softer light. Mission accomplished.

But if you do not diffuse it, you will create a hotspot.

That bright hotspot will reflect more light than all of the other light reflecting off the wall. That reflected light has different intensities across its surface area and you end up creating TWO distinct light sources—one hard and one soft.

This can sometimes be desired if you want to create graduated light that falls off like I showed earlier. But if it is not controlled well with a specialized modifier a hotspot can cause more problems than benefits.

This can reveal unwanted texture, double shadows, cause harsh glare, and it may not achieve the desired amount of soft, flattering light you were hoping for.

However, if you diffuse the light from the flashlight before it hits the wall, the light will scatter and reflect off the wall more evenly. You will create a more *homogenous* light source that acts as a single entity of light.

Diffusion does reduce the overall intensity of the light, but that is usually a worthy trade off for the increased homogeny.

These pesky hotspots are actually a big problem with those cheap softboxes you can buy off Amazon.

Many of them do not have enough diffusion to create a single homogenous light source. So they end up with a hotspot that gives you that double light source effect.

I was able to fix this with my friend Katrina's softbox by adding a layer of tracing paper in front.

You can see the chip clip holding the tracing paper in place on the right side.

Photography is just problem solving all the way down.

A higher quality softbox will have a second layer of diffusion already built in to prevent this, so make sure the softbox has this feature before buying.

Or invest in a roll of tracing paper and some chip clips.

Softboxes are an ingenious light modifier when built properly. They take a small light, diffuse it, enlarge it, and then focus it toward your subject. It's essentially a paradox of scattered & focused light. And since all of the scattering only happens *inside* the softbox, it gives you great control over how that light hits your subject. And you can focus it even more by putting a grid on the front.

This keeps light from "spilling" off to the sides though it can reduce intensity a bit and create unusual looking catchlights in the eyes.

Whereas a cheap shoot-through umbrella kinda "shoots" scattered light all over the place and causes a ton of extra reflections off the walls and ceilings. That may end up giving you unwanted second, third, and fourth light sources contributing to your exposure.

You can see light hitting the left and right walls and the ceiling—those pesky photons are going everywhere! And while it is giving a soft, flattering result due to that umbrella being so freaking big, you have almost no control over the light and how it affects your background.

So, yes, a softbox can make a small light source bigger, but that doesn't always mean you will get "soft" light.

This softbox takes a 10 inch LED panel and creates a 12 inch light source. This is mostly a scam product.

The marketing says it makes the light softer.

And while that is *technically* true, I'm afraid people are going to be disappointed if they think this thing is going to dramatically soften their light. A small increase in surface area like that would only be dramatically different if you were lighting a little toy car or the hypothetical ant friend I mentioned earlier. Something the size of a person is not going to see a difference in softness. Not to mention you are going to decrease the power of your light by adding diffusion and have no softening benefits.

Photography gear companies love taking advantage of new photographers because the desire to buy more gear to improve the quality of photos is quite strong. This is jokingly referred to as G.A.S. or "Gear Acquisition Syndrome." And while there is absolutely gear you can buy to improve your photos (lights, lenses, tripods), knowledge trumps any piece of gear at any time.

So, no, this scam softbox will not make the light appreciably softer. The only way to make this light softer is to find a softbox that enlarges it more than 2 friggin' inches, bounce it off something larger, or bring it closer to the subject. Move your light as close as possible and you will enlarge its apparent size.

Or, conversely, you can move your light farther away to make it hard.

Meaning you can technically make a softbox a hardbox.

Seriously, can we just do the whammy box thing?

So, what have we learned?

Soft light is more flattering to skin and reduces texture and harsh shadows.

Hard light increases contrast, sharpens shadows, and highlights texture.

Neither is good or bad. Soft light can be boring. Hard light can be interesting. A mixture of the two often produces the best result.

The only way to make light softer is to enlarge the light source.

You can enlarge a light source by...

Increasing the physical dimensions with a modifier.

Moving the light closer.

Reflecting the light off a larger surface.

Diffusion alone does not make a light softer.

Diffusion makes a light source more homogenous by mitigating hotspots.

Softboxes create homogenous light that you can direct and focus.

A softbox can still produce hard light if it is really small or really far away.

We should call it a whammy box.

How can you use this knowledge?

Well, the first thing you can do is...

DON'T BUY A RING LIGHT.

YES, I AM RANTING ABOUT RING LIGHTS AGAIN!

That giant hole in the middle of your light is a great spot for extra light.

And as we just learned, a larger light source is softer. So unless you specifically need a ring light and know how to use it (facial close-ups, camera goes in the hole), you are better off getting the biggest light you can fit in your space.

Look at how much bigger this light is than if it were a ring light.

It's like all of these influencers are throwing perfectly good light into the garbage.

Sorry, let's try this again.

Once you avoid ring lights, how can you use this knowledge?

I know a lot of you reading this are not influencers or YouTubers or photographers. And you may be thinking all of this knowledge I just shoved in your dome is useless.

But here's the thing...

We all take photos.

And I think we all want our photos to look their best.

If you start thinking more about light when you take photos, I promise you will be able to improve their quality.

If you are taking a selfie, think about where you can go that has a larger light source. Perhaps you have a large window. Or you have a big overhead light or floor lamp that shines up into the ceiling.

I actually had this idea to create a mega light that could blend in with a house's decor, but secretly be a photography light for taking pictures of people and pets indoors at night.

Secret Photography Light Ingredients Cheap Floorlamp Dual Light Socket Adapter 9000 Lumen LED Bulbs

(Seriously, if you put that together, stick it in a corner, and turn it on when your kids or pets are playing, you will never have another blurry photo from inside your house unless they are going full zoomies.)

If you are outside on a sunny day, don't stand in direct sunlight.

Remember, THE SUN IS ACTUALLY SMALL, angularly speaking. Find a shady spot under a tree. Or put the sun behind you and face a big white wall so the reflected light smacks you in the face.

Walls are light sources!

The ground is a light source!

Remember that moon photo?

You were looking at the sharp shadow earlier because I drew your attention to the sun being a small light source.

But the surface of the moon... HUGE LIGHT SOURCE.

How do you think the front of that space suit is lit when the sun is behind him? Either Stanley Kubrick has a big reflector offscreen or the ground is a soft second light source.

If you can't make it to the moon, just wait to take that selfie on a cloudy day. I think overcast light is a little boring, but your skin will look buttery smooth without using those stupid Facetune apps.

You can also wait for good light. Sometimes sunset has some nice, soft directional light because it has more atmosphere to scatter, diffuse, and enlarge it.

If you are indoors, don't use direct flash on your phone. Never ever use direct flash if you can avoid it. But perhaps you are with friends and they all have phones too. Use one or more phones to bounce the flashlight off a nearby wall. Or open up a paper napkin and hold it just out of frame and shine light through it and diffuse it.

A piece of paper can even work!

Flashlight 3 feet away shining directly onto my face...

Flashlight shining through a piece of paper a few inches in front of it...

Flashlight shining through a piece of paper 2 feet away that is just out of frame...

I started with a small light source.

I then made the light source a little bigger with the paper, but the diffusion was too close and it created the dreaded hotspot of doom.

And then I made the light source as big as I could by moving the paper as close to my face as possible without being in the shot. This also gave the light more room to scatter and diffuse making it homogenous.

Froggie Tip: I was using a pretty powerful flashlight, so with a phone you might get better results *bouncing* the light off the paper rather than shining the light through the paper.

So, before you take a photo, just think about how you can make your light source bigger, brighter, and more homogenous and you might be surprised how much better you look.

ANYONE CAN DO THIS!

[weirdmarioenemies]

Name: Wagan

Debut: Wagan

Look! It’s Wagan! From Wagan! What is Wagan (character)? Why, Wagan is a wonderful little green robotic dinosaur sort of guy who is good at making noises! What is Wagan (media)? Good question!

Here is a photo of Wagan in real life. Wagan is real! The original Wagan is an arcade machine by Namco, but I honestly cannot find much information at all about it. I don’t THINK it’s a game. More of an interactive toy? Here is a video! Hear his noises and watch his mouth flap about!

Wagan’s physical prison is labeled THE EMOTIONAL WEAPON, VOICE-CANNON “WAGAN”. I guess this is some kind of. Yelling game? The presence of a megaphone makes me think you yell at Wagan, and Wagan yells at you, and I don’t know the point, but it is really funny, and of course the actual physical Wagan robot is incredibly cute!

Luckily, Wagan would later enter a form of media I CAN comprehend! Scrimblo bimblo platformers! This is Wagan Land, which became Wagan’s Main Thing for a while, and hmm. I have things to say about this.

First is, WOW this game is cute! Look! When Wagan is falling in the air, his mouth flaps up, like Mario’s hat in Super Mario World! That’s so wonderful! And look at that SNAIL! The first enemy you see in the game, and what a great first impression! All the character sprites are delightfully compact. The thing that looks like a Wagan fetus is a Waganizer, which upgrades his Yelling ability, which is used to stun enemies so they can be jumped upon safely.

Very charmingly, Wagan’s yells are represented by the actual sound he says, shot out as a projectile! These have been lovingly translated in the fan translation, so you can make him yell WA, GYA, and GA. If you make him say GA twice, then just call him Lisa Simpson, because he’s Going Gaga!

The Waganizer was first a toy, and this sure looks like a gun huh! But it is a voice recorder and amplifier. I guess it is like having a bit of Wagan of your own, in Weapon form? To Blast your voice at others? I’m not sure why it had to look so incredibly like a gun, though!

Also, this post is about Wagan himself, but I HAVE to mention there is a Mola mola in this game! A pink sleepy one that flies above the water, and is the ONLY creature in the game that Wagan can safely touch by default, allowing him to ride on top of it! I do not know why a robot dies upon touching a snail. Sorry.

This game sounds so lovely, doesn’t it? It does! So it’s too bad it SUCKS and is TERRIBLE and I HATE it so much!!! And I don’t want to do any of that... but it forces me to!

The platforming sections are all fine and dandy. But the bosses, oh dearie me! Instead of battles, they play a minigame with you, and these are absolutely wretched! There is a word chain game and a memory game, neither of which are good, and both of which feel very easy to get locked out of winning due to randomness. And if you lose, you Die. It’s really not fun whatsoever to have to play a minigame you may very well not have any chance of winning, and they are so common that it sadly ruins the whole game... Maybe I’m doing something wrong, but I don’t think it should be so hard to see what to do right! It feels like a game for babies that wants nobody to succeed.

However! I must give a MAJOR shout-out to AlanMidas of romhacking.net for making this English translation of the game, because translating this word chain game and all its intricacies must have been absolute hell! So thank you, AlanMidas! Or curse you? For being the reason I was able to play this at all? But mostly thank you. And I applaud your effort. I mean, they were able to make the pig icon work by referring to it as an “oinker”. I applaud an oinker any day.

Geez, I don’t want to be so negative on one of these posts. I do love Wagan (creature) a whole lot! Want to see him playing baseball?

There we go. Isn’t that droll?

Have another! For your troubles. Sorry, there is just so little English information about Wagan! This is all I can humbly offer. But I hope you love to view Wagan as much as I do! And if you ever see him in real life, yell at him. I think he likes that!

[bobgoesw00t]

Top 10 Video Games of All Time: bobgoesw00t Edition (Part 06)

bobgoesw00t here, back again with another update to my Top 10 Video Games of All Time! My Number 5 pick goes to none other than:

The now penultimate game in the Arkhamverse, Batman Arkham Knight.

Many people will say that Arkham City is the better game but I disagree. The main complaint people had was how the game FORCED you to use the Tankmobile/Arkhamobile 2.0 for the majority of the game which is some of the biggest load of bullshit I've ever heard. Not only was the Arkhamobile the one thing fans kept asking Rocksteady to put into the game, but with the exception of the main story bits where it's required to use the thing, some of the Riddler collectables and some of the side missions...YOU DON'T HAVE TO USE THE TANKMOBILE!!!!!!!Hell, I actually think it's more fun to fly around the city (let's be honest, Batman doesn't really glide around Gotham, he FUCKING FLIES! Even more so if you fully upgrade the Grapple Boost, which LAUNCHES HIM LIKE NO OTHER!!!!!) due to how it can be just as fast as the Tankmobile at times and it really lets you get a good look at how GORGEOUS the game is. As for the Tankmobile itself (yes, I will be continuing to be calling the Batmobile in the game the "Tankmobile" cause it turns into a fucking tank xD), I really don't have any issue with it as the fights with the various drones are spaced apart quite nicely in the main story and the side missions that include them can be tackled at any point and in any order, so if you get bored of them or just want to get them out of the way, do whatever suits you best.

On to the gameplay! Rocksteady FUCKING NAILED THIS IS ABSOLUTELY TO 240% (reference the max completion percentage with the Season of Infamy DLC installed *wink wink*). They took everything from Arkham City and Origins (which for the love of god IS FUCKING CANON SO EVERYONE WHO SAYS IT ISN'T NEEDS TO STFU), left what didn't need to be changed, addressed the issues fans had, and included some stupidly broken abilities that don't break the game completely like the Shock Gauntlets (another ability people didn't like cause it "broke combat" when YOU DIDN'T NEED TO USE THEM OUTSIDE OF A SINGLE BOSS FIGHT!!!!!!! I mean good god people). One of the most useful of those being "Special Combo Batclaw" which totally bypasses the Militia Brute's armor which requires two "Special Combo Takedown" uses when they're at full health. This lets you take them out of the fight much quicker if you need to and the Blade Dodge Takedown is also broken if you use it against Blade Brutes, not to mention it gets rid of 50% of the armor on Militia Brutes. In other words (if there's a Militia Blade Brute/Weapon Specialist), get the combo gauge up with normal goons, Blade Dodge Takedown and hit em with the Special Combo Takedown and BAM, annoying pain in the ass is out of the equation. I also LOVE the updates to Predator Encounter. Being able to use the Disruptor to sabotage various items and follow that up with the Voice Synthesizer never gets old, and HOLY HELL pulling off your first Fear Multi Takedown when it's upgraded to 5 TARGETS is SUPER SATISFYING!!!!!

Gonna lastly talk about the story and characters. I forget who voiced Scarecrow in Arkham Asylum and I'm too lazy to look it up, but they made the right call in having John Nobel voice the character in Arkham Knight. He was AWESOME in Sleepy Hollow on FOX (if you haven't seen that show, go watch it as it's REALLY cool) and while I haven't gotten far enough in Transformers Prime to hear his take on Unicron, I have a feeling he was awesome in the role. His voice just has this "evil" quality to it that makes him the perfect choice to play a character like the Scarecrow. The rest of the returning cast was perfection as usual and I did NOT expect Mark Hamill to come back and voice The Joker after he died at the end of Arkham City (sorry for spoilers if you still haven't played it even though it's been over TEN YEARS SINCE IT CAME OUT) so that was an awesome moment the first time I ran through the game and the majority of the lines that made me laugh out loud came from the parts where Joker was trolling Bruce. I should also talk about the caped crusader and say this is one of the reasons why Arkham Knight beat Arkham City for this spot on my list is because it ended up being Kevin Conroy's favorite performance he did of the character and I have to agree with him on that (here's a link to him saying this: https://www.youtube.com/shorts/FRr_rp43ZLY). EVERY time Batman talks in the game, he has this edge to it and shows him struggling to keep his humanity in check as Joker constantly trolls him and slowly tries to take over him from within and the bit at the very end of the story is probably my favorite instances of the iconic line from Batman The Animated Series: https://youtube.com/clip/UgkxeXgftx1qqOH6alMwT37aKU2ncsCxfjKD?feature=shares

I'm beyond ecstatic that Kevin was able to come back one last time to voice the World's Greatest Detective for Suicide Squad: Kill the Justice League before he passed/pull his own Knightfall Protocol and Rocksteady better give him the BIGGEST send off they can give Batman for his final performance.

I also feel the need to address the BIG elephant in the room when it comes to this game that is the Arkham Knight himself. For those of you who still don't know this by now, STOP READING AND GO TO THE NEXT PARAGRAPH SO YOU DON'T GET SPOILED!!!!! We all know that prior to Arkham Knight coming out, Rocksteady insisted that the titular villain was a 100% completely new and original character...only for that to actually be a load of bullshit with the big reveal that the second Robin, Jason Todd was under that helmet the entire time. Now, while I'm not the biggest comic book reader, even I knew who Jason Todd was prior to playing the game and knew that he died, only to come back as the Red Hood years later. When I first booted up Arkham Knight, I had access to the Red Hood mission as I pre-ordered the game from GameStop and I started the story thinking the Arkham Knight COULDN'T be Jason cause why would they give him a DLC mission as Red Hood if he's the Arkham Knight. So starting the game and for the longest time, I had ZERO idea who was under that fancy helmet. I DID however have some suspects, those being Ra's al Ghul (seeing as his body vanishes if you go back to where the corpse was if you visit that spot in Arkham City after Joker dies), Joker (if I had a thousand dollars for every time a comic book character has DIED only to come back down the line and be like SURPRISE BITCHES I'M NOT DEAD!!! ...I'd be rather wealthy) or Damian Wayne (it wasn't outside the realm of possibility). HOWEVER, once I got to the bit when Harley Quinn takes over the Movie Studios...it started to become pretty obvious that Jason was the Arkham Knight. I still wasn't 100% sure but the final nail in he coffin was when Jason is in the big ass drill thingy at the end of the game and says something along the lines of, "I kept some things to myself...BRUCE." I knew it was Jason right away. So yes, Rocksteady did indeed lie to us about who the Arkham Knight was, but they did a DAMN GOOD JOB keeping that information under wraps for the majority of the story. Even after Joker tells Bruce about what he did to Jason when he had him in the Asylum, there was still the possibility that it could have been Ra's under the mask as the Season of Infamy DLC hadn't been released yet, so his status at the time was unknown. I HAVE to give props to Troy Baker for not only doing Jason, but also BOTH sides of Two-Face and totally nailing it.

In the end, weather you like the overuse of the Tankmobile (even though most people kept BEGGING FOR IT) or the lie about Jason not being the Arkham Knight, you have to admit Rocksteady pulled out all the stops for the then final entry in the Arkhamverse and they did a damn good job wrapping things up while keeping enough open for the possible sequel we're now getting. Batman Arkham Knight gets a x5 Fear Multi Takedown out of 5. 5/5

Honorable Mentions this time go to:

Spider-Man/Pider-Man/Marvel's Spider-Man: Insomniac gave Spider-Man the Arkham treatment in 2018 and FUCKING NAILED IT!!! Golden Story, flawless combat, awesome soundtrack and spot on casting of the characters means this is one game that has me looking forward to it's sequel. PS4 Peter Parker will ALWAYS be better than the Tom Holland deep fake we got with the PS5 version of the game and FUCK INSOMNIAC FOR CHANGING IT!!!

Batman Arkham City: Can't have Arkham Knight without talking about the game set right before it and how it further perfected the combat from Arkham Asylum and had one explosive story

[benis-chillin]

A Mania Hater's quick thoughts on Sonic Superstars

Hello, I'm Benis, and I hate Sonic Mania.

If you want my detailed reasons why, refer to this video.

If you just want a quick version, though, here's some bullet points:

It feels inauthentic to the Classics in general, from the physics to the "story."

Said story is poorly told, even for the style of Classic Sonic, and doesn't really make any sense in places.

It fetishizes 3&K to the point where it copies elements of its level design without consideration of how they ACTUALLY worked, or DIDN'T work and should've been omitted in some cases(two boss battles per zone is bad no matter what you tell me)

Most bosses are incredibly pedantic and annoying.

The visuals are Sonic Colors Ultimate levels of bloom for sprites, with some places being so shiny that it feels like everything is made out of marble and balloons.

And overall, the game just acts like there were no Sonic games made outside of the 4 main Genesis games, even though THOSE games had some ideas that would've been neat to see in a more faithful Classic game.

So, did Superstars exceed expectations? Or did I end up buying Mania 2 after all?

The Story

In Sonic Superstars, shit happens.

Okay, to be more detailed, Eggman recruits Fang the Hunter, a character whose only interesting trait is that Sega forgot he existed for a bit there, to hunt down a bunch of giant animals on the Northstar Islands, to power Badnik Bosses that…Imma be real here, he's powered with regular animals before, so idk why he's bothering with all this.

To help him, Fang recruits this armored character named Trip the Sungazer, who is apparently the guardian of the Northstar Islands, so why did she agree to capture animals, exactly?

I mean, in 3&K, Knuckles was tricked by Eggman saying that Sonic was evil and seeking the emeralds. This made sense, as you could then conceive that Knuckles somehow missed Eggman putting animals into Badniks, and just went along with his ideas to trap this "evildoer" in his eyes(even ignoring manual lore). But here? Why did she agree to this?

Anyway, in a very jankily animated cutscene(the 2D animated cutscenes are just very weirdly drawn and animated in this game, I'm sorry), we see Sonic and Tails approaching in the Tornado, and other cutscenes depict Knuckles and Amy joining the fun if you start with them. And so, we're off to the races!

Along our journey, we find the 7 Chaos Emeralds with new powers unlocked by the islands(though I think we had to learn that through Bumblekast or a Twitter Takeover), and Trip is convinced by the power of friendship to strip off her armor and use the emeralds to become a dragon in order to defeat Fang in a cutscene.

Then we eventually end up in space to defeat a final Eggman robot, Trip has an entire journey in hard mode to do that all over again with Fang, and we then have to seal a dragon away with barely any build-up.

So yeah, the story is not good.

It's quite clear that a TON of lore was made, but never received any explanation(not even in that manual you have to basically seek out), thus leaving us with a shell of a story. To be fair to it, what I'm GUESSING was supposed to make up the story makes sense outside of the aforementioned Trip questions, but how am I supposed to get into the world of a game if that world isn't given what I need to draw me into it? On top of that, it robs Trip of her opportunity to make a strong impression. I played her whole campaign, and I still don't really care about her that much, while characters like Knuckles hooked me in before I even played as them. Okay, she's shy. That's nice. What else is there to her besides that and a charming design?

The Visuals

I like them…In theory.

You see, to me, polygons are Sonic's true form. Even back in the Genesis days, they were always trying effects that bent the traditional 2D perspective, to the point where a central design point on the 3&K sprite is them attempting to make him more 3-dimensional. Dimps finally achieved this with the Rush and Sonic 4 duologies, along with Sonic Colors and Generations on DS and 3DS respectively. IDK if Rivals got close, but cool on them if they did. And while Superstars does this stuff fairly minimally, it is nice to see.

There is something to be said of them possibly using old models from a known bigot(I don't care about this personally, since it was apparently paid work, but maybe would've been wise to add some distance on those main characters), but otherwise I'm cool with them going in this style. The only cost seems to be any sense of identity for the Northstar Islands, which could be any damn place in the Sonic universe. They're rendered well enough, even on Switch, but they're a bit generic.

Though speaking of Switch, very glitchy, this game. I'll link a playlist with a bunch of the ones I captured, but a notable one is the fact that Trip's nose is permanently black on my title screen. Weird.

The Gameplay.

Aight, here's the big one: How does it play?

It plays fine. Better than Mania, for sure, but it ain't perfect.

Sonic has his usual spindash and spin jump, along with the drop dash ability that Mania introduced, but other games actually use better. Nobody's momentum is exactly 1-to-1 with the Genesis days, but it only really comes up in boss battles. However, he ended up being the least used character for my first playthrough, which is quite unusual for me in a Classic Sonic game, so make of that what you will.

Tails is his usual 2D self, which works, but I REALLY wish they've bring his SA1 elevation controls over. That would come so handy…Probably the character I played the most while I was emerald hunting.

Controversial opinion, but this is probably the best 2D Knuckles I've played in an official game. I still think we need his SA2 glide controls in 2D for it to be REALLY good, but this ain't half bad. Glide was a lot smoother than 3&K and Mania, so it was a lot more enjoyable to use(Though I still didn't favor him that much).

Amy is perfectly good, but her hammer only really comes in handy for her designated level.

Trip is fun to play as, too, and I like that her abilities feel tailored to the hard mode she inhabits. Her abilities are kinda OP, which tailors them to said hard mode for the most part. I think a drop dash would've really completed her moveset overall, but this is perfectly acceptable.

And since I almost forgot to note them, the specials stages are fairly alright, but some are way more difficult than they should be, and I wish they did that thing where finding one after you've got all of the Emeralds gives you 50 rings. That always came in handy.

As for the levels themselves…They're fine, I guess? Not quite at Sonic 4 levels of forgettable, but not quite at Advance quality. Tbh, I'm just glad they're original levels using various old themes instead of us like, literally going back to Green Hill again.

There are a lot more instant deaths and bottomless pits than you'd think, but this is mostly negated by the wise decision to not include a lives system, so these little hiccups get a BIT more grace. Heck, one of them indirectly uses the Sandopolis light switch gimmick in a new context that actually fits the zone they put it in! Take THAT one, Mania!

I'm not a fan of their numbering not be even, with some zones having as many as 3 acts, or as little as 1, but overall, a decent showing, and having Trip's story as a bit of a hard mode was kinda fun…

Until you get to those final few bosses.

Okay, so now we get to the part of the review where y'all can call me a lil' bitch, because I did not actually finish Trip's story, or this game as a whole. Why?

BECAUSE OF SOME OF THESE FUCKING BOSSES!

Starting with the second match against Fang, all of the final bosses for each zone get REALLY long, boring, and cheap. The bosses up until this point were engaging, but simple, like Sonic 2's bosses, but then this sudden difficulty spike happens. You have these long, tedious sections where just NOTHING happens while you wait until you can hit a boss with more hit points than they need, rings are very weirdly doled out, and every hit is hard to do without getting hit yourself, which can often result in death from a one-hit kill. And with many of these offering no way to go Super beforehand, that is a MAJOR problem.

Additionally, they have FAR too many one-hit kills, no matter how many rings you stock up on, and THERE ARE NO CHECKPOINTS BETWEEN SECTIONS, meaning if you die during one of the MANY easy kill windows, you have to start ALL OVER AGAIN, which is extra frustrating on Switch, where my cartridge copy has load times longer than my PS3 copy of Sonic 06. They're pure padding since the developers didn't have enough budget to make it worth $60, and it doesn't even help that much!

These bosses COULD work with less hit points, a few more rings, and some damn checkpoints so I don't have to keep on doing the same parts over and over again from an incredibly cheap hit that I can't avoid, but as is, they are downright shameful, and the reason I am, for the moment, not finishing this game. I have had enough of the developers wasting my time.

So if this game had a sequel, would I buy it? Maybe. But the developers would need to get a grip on certain things(ban one-hit kills and bottomless pits from that office), but I feel like a sequel could REALLY shine. If the story was told more competently, if the levels just had a bit more to them, and they tell Jun Senoue to aim for the SA1 sound style instead of whatever the hell he thinks the Genesis sounded like, we could have a real hit on our hands.

But for the moment, we return to the dream, my friends.

P.S. In terms of objective timeline, I place this during the original 1991-1997 time frame before the Generations time split. Kinda have to if elements of them are going to appear elsewhere. Mania is still contained to its hell dimension in Objective Canon Zone, so the creator's statements about timeline are being ignored. My fanfictions will place it in the split timeline after Mania for now since I plan to do some in-universe adjustments later, though.

6/10

[rove-bogge]

{ Meat }

There is a raw slab of meat sitting directly across from him.

There is. A raw slab. Of meat. Staring. Directly at him.

Even from a distance, Jamil is overcome by the distinct smell of early rot. Who even thought to bring this? Not only is it a wasteful hygiene hazard, but also the perfect breeding ground for unwanted pests.

Before long, the thing is sure to summon an army of flies, and Jamil must be quick to act before that happens. He’d be loath to imagine the alternative.

Using magic, Jamil lifts a portion of the meat into the air and, careful not to touch it, surveys the room for a means of disposal. Instead, he comes across the person he’d least like to see while holding, well, a raw slab of pungent meat.

Between his disgust towards the thing and his wariness towards Rove, something in Jamil’s brain haywires, launching the slab in the latter’s direction instead.

« Uh. Get rid of that, please, » he croaks out, and promptly runs off.

Rove had literally been minding his own business for once. Jamil was not even on his radar to annoy...for once !!!

He had been agonising between which dish to try Pomefoire's or another helping from Heartsubyul which was his particular favourite for tonight. Also the pudding from scarabia was calling him. After rolling his dice to pick which treat he would claim as his own Scarabia having ironically for what was about to happen, had won.

He was just picking up the plate marvelling at the beautiful decorations and wondering whose talent had produced this when something large, warm and moist hit the side of his head and face before flopping into his plate of sweet goodness with a wet slop.

He stood there in shock as the wet meat run off dripped down his face making some of his hair stick to his skin turning the dirty blonde into a more sickly reddish brown in places. 

Jamil would have before he had ran caught the sight of grey eyes turning on him. Narrowed in boiling rage, a promise of many terrible things to come. As Rove caught sight of Jamil an aura of evil producing around him. It most likely didn't help that the music was playing something heavy in bass and was that latin in the lyrics? The light comically flicking like lightning strikes as Rove Screeched Jamil's name as the other fled.

Rove will remember this.....

[thatsthetriick]

Y/n looking at Jojos as competitions/rivals (hcs)

Summary: You consider the Jojos a rival, and competition when it gets to grades and all, they never did anything to you but you’re just generally annoyed at them because you think they’re better than you and you’re annoyed that they are better than you, you’re not jealous just annoyed that they exceeded you. (basically enemies to lover for short) Inspiration: Based on real life thoughts with a person honestly lmaO I really think they are a compeition(they don’t know) but in the end it’s just a friendly thing. Disclaimers: Underage smoking (Just because this action is being done here it doesn’t mean you should do it too, for both my adult and teen audiences i rlly don’t recommend this and just because I used it in this fic doesn’t mean you should do it as well) , and  mentions of violence, or implied violence, drugs are also mentioned( i repeat i do not encourage these behaviours in real life) Header: Orange Other writings: Masterlist/Taglist Requests/questions: Ask/Request Box

Jojos as your Rivals

Jonathan Joestar

  ✧ God. To you he was really annoying, teachers praised him and he was a top student in the rankings and a teacher’s pet, you’d never see him complain, cry, or anything at all.

  ✧ Of course he was the class president and a student council so it annoyed you more since he was kind of like a mary sue in your eyes, the fact that he got good grades and doesn’t seem to have a hard time in the things he does really annoy you.

 ✧ You were in the top 3 top students except you’re in 3rd place and you could never beat Jonathan, moreover he’s also an athlete and you were bothered that girls were practically drooling to him. But despite this you’ll never do anything to seek revenge, you won’t embarrass him or frame him because you still have morals.

 ✧ Though you were just grumpy and passive agressive to him sometimes whenever the teacher asks him to help you, you really didn’t like receiving help from him because for you, you think that’s a sign of weakness.

 ✧ Of course you get parterned up with him a big project that was considered as your examination and you hated it. You treated it more of a individual work, but after knowing him a bit from that project you kinda like how he acted, polite, kind and patient.

  ✧ Everytime he sees you struggle and you decline for help he’ll just go behind you or besides you and either guide your hands to fix it or he’ll fix it himself and he’ll just smile afterwards, it was really cute and you’ll mentally slap yourself for liking him, were you forgetting he was rival?

 ✧ He’ll slowly consider you as a friend and he would really really feel guilty for assuming that you were a rude person base on you act towards him but he eventually thinks that you’re a kind person in the inside but a bit stubborn and he finds that cute.

 ✧ If it’s a love story you and him will secretly date and its not obvious to the world that you two are dating, you were never touchy with him in public, you two still acted the same honestly, a bit stubborness coming from you and stubborness from Jonathan because he’s really willing to help you with everything, eitherway you two only have playful fights and a few REAl arguments here an there but you two eventually make up again a few days later.

 ✧ If it’s a platonic relationship you two would be the bestest of friends and you two would have playful arguments and some people would literally ship you two because of your friendship.

 Joseph Joestar

 ✧ This guy was intelligent but lazy and yet he still gets 1st place in the class as a top student with A+ grades, and you found it also annoying that he was naturally talented and effortlessly got them, you sometimes wonder if he cheats.

 ✧ And because you think he cheats you go out of your way to site his essays and public works to see if he uses references or anything, but no this guy is just naturally talented and you felt like he didn’t deserve especially with his laid off attitude.

 ✧ Now you don’t show your passive aggressive side to him because you know better not to make him think that you’re literally angry at him, for you he’s just a competition and another boss level to defeat, it’s not personal just a fun thing you do so you don’t take out your anger out on him.

 ✧ He is also an athlete, of course the Joestar bloodline and legacy literally revolves around the sports they take, so it was no surprise, you on the other hand is also an athlete and you would most likely take the competition seriously whenever there’s a boys vs girls basketball game, you were the MVP let’s just say, sports was like your whole life.

 ✧ Of course there’s an annual event that the high school hosts where as every student will be competing against each other, the remaining 4 players will be the ones set out to compete to another sports festival in a different school. They will choose 4 players per sport.

 ✧ Of course you chose to marathon since you were honestly swift and that was more on your main sport, running. And it was Joseph’s as well and you two had to compete with each other among other students, he’ll say something cocky to you that is enough to motivate you to defeat him.

 ✧ Eventually you and Joseph were one of the 4 people chosen to compete in another school, and though it took awhile for you two to agree on things you two won the tournament with teamwork and ever since then your friend consists of constant and non stop teasing and playful banters.

 ✧ “What do you mean? I clearly made our team win!” he’d say and you’d just roll your eyes at his cockiness. Though you’d retort with something cocky as well.

Jotaro Kujo

 ✧ You honestly don’t know why this guy was even a top student he often gets into fights and the teachers just shrug it off,  you find it annoying he gets to answer everything before you and finish quizzes before you and you get so pissed and can’t understand why is he quick and he doesn’t seem like a type to review.

 ✧ He’s pissed at every fangirl he has and he is pissed at you sometimes as well because you try avoiding him, yeah he’s aware of your competitiveness and he doesn’t really care that much.

 ✧ But you do so you basically you’re like legit pissed at him and you think that he also doesn’t deserve his intelligence since he’s just wasting it away by smoking cigarettes at the back of the school and fighting people it was honestly annoying and you wish you had his intelligence at the same time.

 ✧ Unlike the others maybe in this one you’re being constantly pressured by high grades so you started smoking as well to relieve your stress, you’d somberly sulk at the back of the school as well smoking your problems away it made you feel calm for some reason.   ✧ He sees you there and mumbles a “Tch” while he adjusts his cap and walk near you and light up his cigarette and doesn’t say a word, he doesn’t honestly care what you were doing, anyone was allowed to do anything they want to do so he left you there.  ✧ Honestly he started getting concerned of you when you were often doing it, even he knew that too much is too much. “ That’s enough” he’ll say and take your cigarette pack away, “Touche” you’ll just roll your eyes and walk away. He’d always stop you from smoking, you were getting addicted honestly and it’s not helping since every minute you were getting stressed out.  ✧ When you’re not listening to him he’ll agressively tell you to “cut it off bitch.” or something along those lines, and you didn’t really know he was a person who hid his feelings so you snapped and scolded him that you were a mess because of him  and took out all of your anger and left honestly.  ✧ He couldn’t care less what you said about him and tried to accompany you at the back of the school or in the rooftops everytime it’s break or the end of classes, he didn’t speak that much but he was a good listener and constantly listened to your problems, eventually this is a routine and you treasured every second of it.  ✧ It became a thing that you two basically  sit on the rooftop talking to each other, from then on he’d accompany you outside of school as well and you two would hangout and it would be nice quiet moments when he’s around, he’s also a very protective friendship. Josuke Higashikata  ✧ This guy really doesn’t care about his grades and yet he gets high score it was also annoying that teachers adore him, and that every girl adores him as well. Unfortunately you two were partners for a spelling Bee. Only professors were allowed to choose who participates, and though Josuke might not be accurate with his english pronounciations and spellings he still had high grades and it annoyed you that he got to participate his weak subjects just because he has high grades.  ✧ Honestly he’d hate it as well and would just play games all day long instead of studying or anything, and during the spelling bee he didn’t help at all and you were pissed at him. Even though you were softly and passive agressively scolding him he didn’t get mad back and just said a “Okay okay! I’m sorry.” he’ll apologize and try to study but he’ll get distracted.  ✧ Teachers still continued to praise him and gave no praise to you at all even though you carried your partner to the finish line, that’s why you hated Josuke, he was loved by everyone and you never understood why, was it his personality? Smarts? What was it?   ✧ From that then you’ll break into his house with no permission and catch him playing video games. You’ll scold him to study the words and act like a strict teacher towards him, he dozed off a lot and was laid back and distracted, yet he was still able to answer some of them.  ✧ This is why you didn’t like him he was too laid back and didn’t seem to take things seriously, because of this you suggested a break and he went back t o playing his video games and getting frustrated, and even though you were tight while teaching him he was kind enough to still offer you to play with him. You were going to decline but you still accepted it.  ✧ This is where you saw his true personality, he talked about a lot of things and you two ended up having fun as you two play, you didn’t mind this moment and you’d want it to treasure it forever honestly. You brought up your personality as well to him, you started showing your true colors and he really liked the fact that you weren’t an overbearing person at all.  ✧ ever since then you two manage to win the competitions and manage to play at the same time. You two became the bestest friends which was unexpected since you considered him as a rival, though you’re still annoyed because everytime you ask him to teach you he’ll teach really badly and you wouldn’t understand anything from him. Giorno Giovanna   ✧ This guy was a quiet yet smart type, he often sits at the back of the class dazing off the window and yet still able to answer questions of the teacher even when not paying attention.   ✧ Though you compete with him you know not to mess with him honestly, though a lot of really negative rumours constantly spread about him. Like his family problem and things like that so you pity him at some times.  ✧ Girls adore him, something about the Joestars getting fangirls annoys you a lot. They baby him, and even though sometimes he gets annoyed and straightforwadly tells them to go away sometimes he’d entertain them and be kind. Teachers always saw him as a role model student it makes you barf.  ✧He’ll also probably hangout with his school gang, nobody knows what this gang does honestly, the teachers just leave him be just because they want to just leave him be and they’re too naive; thinking that it’s just a normal innocent gang where it’s a group of kids hanging out.  ✧ You caught up his ‘gang’ beating up someone and since you were a witness he saw you as a immediate threat(or so you though) and this quiet kid did a whole 180 with his personality and looked at you menacingly.  ✧ You don’t know how to approach him that you won’t tell anyone you’ve witnessed and always ran away everytime he approaches you or everytime his gang approaches you. Now your rivalary and competiting against grades is now ruined because this guy could always beat you anyday when it gets to physical fights, or so you thought.  ✧ You always ate lunch at the rooftop so he kind of took this opportunity to calmly sit besides you and talk to you about what you saw, he just wanted to give you context so that you wouldn’t get the wrong idea. Apparently that guy was an adult selling drugs to a bunch of graduating elementary kids.  ✧ You were relieved he wasn’t gonna beat you up and put you in the sewers, you took this time to also talk to him to actually see he was a nice guy, a gentle man and that you thought he was a cocky student because you always assumed him like that, not only that but you assumed him being a playboy as well since he gets so much attention.  ✧ You confess all of this to him and he let’s out a quick chuckle and you just laugh as you confess all of your thoughts and competitiveness against him, he was a good listenered actually, and didn’t take it really personally, he knew deep inside that you were a good person even though before you used to give him a scary glare when you two didn’t talk yet.  ✧ From that day on you start catching up to him in the hallways and talk and all his fangirls would practically hate you and give you glares as you two are having a good time.  ✧ He’ll make sure you’re out of his school gang businesses and arguments with other gangs, he may not say or sometimes express it but he always cares for you and tries to be supportive in littliest ways such as listening and remembering to every detail you tell him.  ✧ you’d still playfully compete with him and if he wins you’re okay with it unlike before

Thanks for reading! Reqs are open! My only requirements is no nsfw and probbably not part 5 yet since im not there hihi.(P.s I do canon x oc :) ) Sorry for not uploading for awhile

[mimicutie]

Pit is Autistic - A “Brief” Analysis

Kid Icarus: Uprising is my favorite game of all time, and one thing I love about it is the characterization of Pit. Specifically, I see him as autistic. Of course, this is just a headcanon of mine, but I wanted to write out a little discussion explaining why I see him as such as well as show some of the autistic traits he demonstrates in Uprising (and the occasional reference to the Guidance conversations from Smash).

(fair warning, this is not very brief)

Difficulty Understanding Words and Jokes

It’s made abundantly clear that Pit isn’t the best at picking up sarcasm or jokes. At times, he struggles with understanding words, phrases, and context. Here’s an excerpt from Chapter 11.

Pit: Good! There are survivors! Palutena: They’re a stubborn bunch hanging on like that. [...] Pit: Uh… stubborn? Palutena: Oh, I didn’t mean it like that.

Here, Pit doesn’t understand what Palutena means by “stubborn.” It’s pretty common for autistic people to struggle understanding parts of speech, such as words being used in different contexts than what they’re used to.

Medusa: Hmm… Now this is a little… bizarre. Pit: I know right? The mouth on that guy! I’d never talk like that! Medusa: That’s not what I meant. Palutena: Sorry. He can be a little… thick.

Once again, Pit is misinterpreting the situation. He doesn’t understand what Medusa is alluding to, thinking that she is talking about Dark Pit’s brash behavior. Palutena’s last comment hints that it’s very common for Pit to misunderstand people like this.

Pit: I’m Pit, servant of the goddess Palutena. I’m here to defeat Dark Lord Gaol. Magnus: So you’re here for a slice of the pie too? Pit: Huh? Pie? Where?

Chapter 2 has several examples of Pit not picking up on obvious jokes or idioms, and here’s one. Pit takes the idiom literally, not understanding what Magnus really means at first.

Viridi: Pit certainly is devoted to you, Palutena. Hades: Only because she squeezes his head wreath when he doesn’t follow orders. Palutena: You mean like… THIS?! Pit: No no no no no! You’ll squeeze my brains out! … (sigh) Why do I always fall for that?

In this example from Chapter 15, Palutena is clearly messing with Pit, but as he stated, he always falls for her jokes. Even though it’s clear she is just teasing, Pit can’t pick up on the fact that she isn’t being serious. He consistently struggles with understanding tone.

Pit: This is so annoying. Lady Palutena, help me out here! Palutena: Deploying the Palutena Super Sensor… Pit: I didn’t know you had a super sensor! Palutena: Hee hee. I don’t. You know I like to make stuff up. Pit: I can’t believe you’re messing with me at a time like this!

This dialogue from Chapter 13 is just another example of Palutena clearly joking while Pit does not pick up on it. Even though Palutena has done this time and time again, Pit still struggles to tell when someone, even a person he is incredibly close to like Palutena, is just messing with him. These are just a few examples. Pit commonly struggles with understanding language and tone throughout the game.

Using Words Differently

We can see that Pit has his own unique vocabulary with his own creative phrases like, “Calamaried!” “Re-defeated!” “Pulverazed!” and so on. Pit also makes LOTS of noises throughout the game, all of his “woohoo”s and “woah”s and whatnot. It’s just how he communicates, even if it's a bit particular or different.

Expressiveness

Pit is excitable. Like, really excitable. Sure, he’s a fun video game protagonist, but he’s always very happy-go-lucky and upbeat in a way that reads to me as autistic. Just look at how he jumps in excitement!

And when he gets the Three Sacred Treasure?! Gifs can’t really do the excitement in this scene justice. (link in case tumblr embed isn’t working)

Additionally, while Uprising doesn’t have a lot of cutscenes with Pit just standing around talking, in the ones where he does he is usually very expressive, using his hands to talk and whatnot. Added with his excitability, I feel that this shows us that Pit is so expressive and emotional because he’s autistic!

Extra Help

Pit needs more help with understanding things in comparison to others. Palutena often goes out of her way to guide Pit, whether it be giving him directions or explaining how to defeat an enemy. While Palutena’s advice does work as a guide for the player, it’s clear that Pit needs the help more than someone else his situation might. The clearest proof we have of this comes from Chapter 22.

Palutena: Watch out for that heart-shaped crystal barrier! You see, it’s— Dark Pit: Reflecting my shots back at me, right? Palutena: Well… yes. Dark Pit: I got it, so stop telling me what to do! 

Palutena is expecting Dark Pit to be like Pit, where she needs to explain to him what’s going on and offer her guidance. However, Dark Pit was able to figure out a strategy to defeat Pandora all on his own. Palutena is very aware that Pit needs a bit more help and prepares accordingly for him.

Accidental Rudeness

Many times throughout Uprising, Pit is shown speaking “rudely” towards gods or characters who have authority over him.

Pit: Oh, great! You’re the guy I’m looking for. Listen, I have a favor to ask you. Would you mind if I borrow your chariot for just a little while? Chariot Master: Your foolishness is matched only by your rudeness. How dare you charge in here, flinging unreasonable requests at me? [...] Viridi: You can’t really blame him for being upset. That was kind of rude.

Here, Pit is talking to the Chariot Master very casually, treating him like a friend despite the fact he is breaking into the Chariot Master’s tower and asking him for a precious artifact. Pit doesn’t see it as rude but Viridi and the Chariot Master clearly do. He is breaking an unwritten social norm by talking so casually to someone of high authority. Autistic people often misinterpret social situations or don’t act appropriately, sometimes resulting in “rude” behavior. There are several examples of this throughout the game, such as in Chapter 24…

Pit: You know, the Three Sacred Treasures weren’t exactly durable. Can you please make sure that this new weapon won’t just fall apart? Dyntos: Palutena, you’d be wise to put a muzzle on your chicken.  Palutena: I apologize for him. Again. Pit: I… I’m sorry too. I didn’t mean to be rude.

To Pit, he is just stating a fact. However, it comes off to Dyntos as Pit being rude or even insulting his work. This is something that autistic people often do; they are blunt or honest about something, which is again mistaken as being rude.

Pit is also seen being more blunt when under emotional stress, such as in Chapter 20.

Pit: I trusted you because I knew you were on the side of justice, and… and light! But something is blocking that light now. This isn’t the real you. Viridi: Someone cue the strings… Pit: Would you mind holding the commentary for two seconds, Viridi? Phosphora: There are goddesses you’re talking to here, Pit. Watch your tone. Pit: Butt out, Phosphora! The goddess of light has turned dark. Skyworld is destroyed! Everything is wrong, and it’s up to me to make things right! Palutena: Oh, Pit. You’re just as naive as ever. Pit: I’m not naive!

Phew. This scene is pretty noteworthy to me because throughout the game, Pit is never really that angry or upset. He does show hostility, but he never really snaps at anyone, much less gods, like this. But when his home is destroyed and Lady Palutena is not herself, his emotions get the better of him. He doesn’t even seem to care that he is being “rude” to Viridi. I definitely see this moment as Pit having an outburst because of the stressful situation he is under. 

Scripts / Scripting

The most obvious example of Pit using a script is with his “rally cries” that he prepares before fighting enemies. Look at the idol description for this AR Card.

He practices his rally cries a lot in order to be prepared for battles with bosses. Pit even mentions practicing his rally cries in a later chapter.

Pit: Cells of Hades, hear my words! And, um… see my actions! Uh… something, something… I’m going to rain death on you! I can’t remember all the words, but that’s the general gist. Hades: My innards have so longed to hear your battle cry. How could you forget the words? Pit: I didn’t have time to rehearse. I’ve been busy fighting evil, okay?!

While some may see the rally cries as meaningless fun, I think it could be seen as Pit having a script that he likes to fall back to when facing enemies. 

His many references and quotes to video games could be seen as scripting, too. There are lots of instances in Uprising, and especially in Palutena’s Guidance, where Pit quotes famous video game phrases or imitates sounds. Which leads me to…

Special Interest

Pit’s special interest is video games. While Pit’s very vast knowledge of video games could just be because of Uprising’s fourth-wall breaking style of humor, I think it could also be seen as Pit having an intense interest in games. He references various video games such as Metroid, Nintendogs, and Super Smash Bros. in-game. He seems to enjoy bringing up video games or referencing video game mechanics whenever he can, which is very similar to how autistic people enjoy bringing up their special interests in conversations whenever possible. Additionally, while the Palutena’s Guidance conversations aren’t 100% accurate to canon, Pit constantly references and alludes to various video games in them, such as quoting Reyn in Shulk’s conversation or Peppy and General Pepper in Fox’s (which ties back to him scripting). It’s clear that he loves video games and talking about video games!

Pit: Those Aurum troops are doing their best Game and Watch impression! Viridi: Check out the gaming IQ on this guy! You’re a regular video game historian!

See, even Viridi is impressed with his video game knowledge! :D

Sensory Issues

Throughout the game, Pit seems to have an obsession with hot springs. It is never outright explained why he loves them so much, but I’m led to believe it is because of sensory reasons. Many autistic people use extreme temperatures to help soothe or calm themselves, such as cold showers or hot baths. It can often help with sensory overload. Hot springs, similarly to hot baths, may be a way to help soothe Pit and keep his sensory issues to a minimum. 

Pit’s habits with his tunic seem to hint towards sensory issues, too. He doesn’t like to be without his robes, stating that he keeps them on even when he’s in the hot spring. When his clothes seemingly get messed up in Chapter 21, he gets upset, exclaiming that it’s his only tunic. Wearing the same clothes or same types of clothes/fabric is pretty typical for autistic people, and Pit wearing the same tunic everyday is similar to that.

Additionally, Pit’s habits with food could be because of sensory differences. He very well could be hyposensitive to food and tastes, which is why he eats a lot and doesn’t seem to care about what he eats (as long as it isn’t vegetables, according to the Revolting Dinner short ;D ) . 

Small Social Circle

Pit doesn’t have a whole lot of people he can rely on. Before Uprising, the only person he seems to have any affinity for is Palutena. Other than that, he doesn’t seem to talk to anyone else. We don’t have a clear picture on what his relationship with the Centurions is like, but based off of the Revolting Dinner short and Chapter 17, he only really talks to them when he’s working as the Captain of the Army and not as a friend.

While yes, Pit is the only angel left in Skyworld, I still think it’s important to bring up that Pit only really has Palutena to rely on. By the end of Uprising, he has Viridi and Dark Pit as well, but his only clear and completely positive relationship is his mother-son bond with Palutena. I see this as Pit struggling to really befriend others. He’s had over two decades between the original game and Uprising to befriend the Centurions, but again, he only really has Palutena. It’s pretty typical for autistic people to have very small social circles, consisting of just one or two friends. Palutena seems to fit the role of mother and best friend for Pit, and she even remarks that he should make more friends in Chapter 4. 

Working Alone

This is a small one, but still something that I think is worth pointing out. Pit seems very adamant on accomplishing his missions on his own, telling Dark Pit on two separate occasions (Chapter 9 and Chapter 21) that he can handle the situation by himself. Similarly, it’s common for autistic people to prefer working by themselves rather than with others. Paired with the previous point about having a small social circle, this just reads to me as Pit not feeling too comfortable in situations with others.

Conclusion

There’s a few other points that I feel I could bring up but overall I think these are my main points summed up (and yes, I said summed up. this used to be over 2500 words) ! Thanks so much for reading! If you have any other traits that you think Pit has that I didn’t mention, feel free to share them, I’d be more than happy to hear! ^_^

[arigatouiris]

an inconvenient crush // kozume kenma x reader (2/2)

Author’s Note: Thank you so much for the support! I really appreciate people coming in and telling me you liked my story! Makes me feel so loved and valid, I can’t even begin to tell you how special it makes me feel. Here’s the final part! Do let me know what you think! Thank you so much :”)

Word count: 4k+

Pairing: YouTuber! Kenma Kozume x Streamer! Reader

Summary: YouTuber Kozume Kenma has had the biggest crush on Twitch Streamer, (s/n) (y/n), who in actuality simps heavily after Kenma’s secret YouTube persona, puddinghead0.

What happens when their paths cross?

Kuroo is honestly tired of Kenma’s second-guessing, and (y/n) is a bit of a crackhead.

Warnings: unrequited love, one-sided crush, slight angst, pining, crackhead reader, internet bullying, slang, gaming references, haikyuu manga spoilers, fluff

C h a p t e r T w o: kozume in love

Kenma chuckled when he heard you scream over the controller. The both of you were currently fighting a boss named Martyr Logarius, and while you had beaten the game once, playing it in Newgame+ was extra hard. Kenma was certainly helping, but you had made a silly mistake and died for the fourth time in a row.

    "You're dodging too early," Kenma said, still chuckling, "But it is entertaining to see you dodge in such panic."

    "Shut up," You groaned over the microphone, earning more chuckles from him, "I'm trying, okay?"

    "You beat this game, you said?"

    "Ahhh!"

Kenma laughed some more, now covering his face with his hand. He could hear you laugh out of frustration as well, but while this entire orchestration felt funny to both of you, Kenma's heart bubbled dangerously. He loved the sound of your voice, and he absolutely adored the way you groaned and cursed at the bosses each time you died or each time you defeated them. You were good, and even as the game tested you, you trod on. He could see you loved gaming in its entirety, and slowly, he was learning more about you.

    "I need a beer." You sighed.

    "This game does that to you," Kenma leaned back against his bean bag, "I mean... Not to burst your bubble, but you do suck."

    "Oye," You warned playfully, "I'm a streamer."

    "Anyone can stream, (y/n)."

There was silence on the other end after that, but Kenma didn't think it was anything odd. The co-oping between you two was going on for a few days now, and it would last up to 5-7 hours at most. It was strange that despite college, you two managed to find time to sit and play, but after a point, it had become more than just the game. You began to crave his voice, crave the way he'd be there, whenever you were about to run low on health, he'd come over and give you time to heal.

Co-oping with Kenma was fun because it felt, oddly, as if he really cared.

    "(y/n)?"

    "I always thought you sounded familiar," Kenma blinked, "But I think hearing you say more words sort of... gave it away."

    "Gave what away?" Kenma's heart was pounding now.

    "Kozume-kun," He didn't want to hear the rest, "Are you puddinghead0?"

It took him several seconds to process what you said. He could practically feel his heart beat against his ears, and he could sense you getting impatient at him as well.

    "Kozume—"

    "How did you know?"

You took a few moments to answer.

    "I... I've been a fan for too long not to recognize your voice, really. I just... I guess I had to hear you through the microphone to instantly pick it up? I don't know I... Why didn't you tell me?"

    "I didn't want you to know."

    "Oh," His heart broke at how low you sounded. "I... I'm sorry, I didn't ask you because I knew you were him or anything! I asked you as Kozume—"

    "Right."

    "No, listen," You were panicking now, "I assure you, I didn't know until recently. I didn't even think... I never—"

    "What did you picture him as, (y/n)?"

    "What do you—"

    "I'm sure you pictured him as someone different, right? It must disappoint you that someone you admire is in fact, a regular college student—"

    "Don't say that! I really enjoy playing with you, and... I never even pictured how you'd look in the first place!"

    "Sure—"

    "Can we meet? Please, let me just—"

    "Not happening. It was nice playing with you, (y/n). I hope you get the platinum—"

    "Please, don't do this."

When Kenma hesitated, he knew that it was no longer an inconvenient crush. His fingers trembled and he couldn't look away from the television screen. His chest hurt and he was certain that his shirt was drenched.

    "Please, let's—"

    "Where do you want to... meet?"

    "Oh, thank goodness," Your genuine relief made him want to laugh, "I was so certain you'd hang up. Oh, thank god. Uh, I don't know. You live near campus?"

He narrowed his eyes, "What campus?"

    "Tokyo University?"

    "You go here too?"

    "Literature student! You go here? You mean to say the puddinghead0 goes to—"

    "Please, just never call me that, okay?"

    "Where do you want to meet?"

    "I... Just come to campus, we'll figure it out."

What normally took Kenma 12 minutes took him 17 now. He spent some time pacing back and forth on whether to go or not, before understanding that he couldn't back out after assuring you that he'd be there. He wondered if you would come as a fan or as his friend (were you his friend?), but the foremost thing that Kenma worried about was what your interaction with him would be about. Why did you want to meet him? What explanation did you want to give?

Maybe she wants to thank me, he thought as he walked forward, finally bucking up and realizing that he might actually need to meet you alone as himself.

He noticed that you were waiting outside the gates of the campus, airpods plugged in, head rocking lightly to some music that you were listening to. From a distance, you caught sight of him and waved almost hesitantly, shooting his heart to the skies. Your hair was tied in a messy bun and you were wearing anime merch, a Bakugou shirt with regular jeans. No matter what you wore, Kenma thought you were ridiculously pretty. Kenma had always thought you were pretty, from the very first video that you uploaded. He caught your stream in Kuroo's laptop when he had come over, and apparently it was your first time. You were hesitant and shy, but it gradually died down the more you played. Kenma found himself laughing so much that it alerted Kuroo, who had understood right away that you held a special place in Kenma's mind since no one could make Kenma laugh quite like you could.

When he was a few feet away from you, you looked at him awkwardly before he noticed you were red-faced. Is she... blushing?

    "U-Uh, yeah so uh," She was so nervous that it was making him feel weird, "I don't want to treat you differently but I just realized that I was gushing to you about puddinghead not knowing that you are, in fact, puddinghead and god, I feel like an idiot."

Kenma had to laugh at that before shaking his head, "It's fine, I don't get too many compliments anyway."

    "You had me simping all over you and you knock that down as compliments? Please teach me the art of modesty, senpai."

Kenma laughed some more before letting out a breath, rubbing the back of his neck. You were taking breaths now yourself; you were standing beside someone who had literally inspired you to start streaming gameplay, and you had no idea that you were playing alongside him all this while until he had practically confirmed it not too long ago. Of course, a part of you felt weird that he never told you himself, but perhaps he wanted to keep it a secret. Also...

He had been watching your streams. Kenma had admitted that as himself the first time you had met. You could practically die.

    "There's this cafe down this road," You said, suddenly feeling a lot bolder, "We won't have to stand around awkwardly then."

    "Alright."

The walk wasn't quiet, you were desperately trying to think of something to talk about, and you were mumbling a few things here and there about Bloodborne, and he commented back; but neither of you found your heart in the conversation and kept going because you didn't know how to handle the silence. While you admired Kenma, Kenma was also aware that you had no idea the feelings he had for you.

It made him feel a bit inadequate, and he wasn't sure how to take it.

When you reached the cafe, Kenma and yourself took the seats outside. You took in his appearance properly for the first time that evening; his hair tied in a messy, loose ponytail and wearing baggy clothing with black jeans and sneakers. Kenma was gorgeous, you wouldn't deny that, especially now that your heart was bubbling with excitement over how he was your YouTube idol. Strangely, his question rang in your mind:

What did you picture him as, (y/n)?

Your eyes softened at Kenma as he checked his phone for a minute; unable to look away. You stared at him the way folks stare at a rainbow, taking in all that unexpected beauty, not wanting to look away in case it might disappear. You felt yourself blushing when he looked up to meet your gaze, almost feeling time stop. But, you were too much of an overthinker to let that happen.

I'm sure you pictured him as someone different, right? It must disappoint you that someone you admire is in fact, a regular college student—

    "Kozume-kun," What am I doing? "I can't picture anyone but you."

He was now staring at you like you were an idiot mumbling rubbish. He gulped, you could see the rise and fall of his adam's apple, but he wasn't saying a word.

    "A few months ago, when I started the channel on Twitch, I could do it only because of you. You inspired me to upload my own gameplay because I now had a platform to be proud of it. But as Kozumu-kun, you gave me the courage to not only be proud of my gameplay but to see what's actually important," You smiled as you said, "Fun."

    "You're giving me way too much credit."

You shook your head, "We don't always realize how little exchanges that we have with people cause ripple effects. Playing with you these past few days reminded me of what streaming for views made me forget. Views don't matter, the fun does. I let those comments get to me because the views mattered to me, and they still do. But, that's not everything. I learned that from you."

Kenma didn't know what to say.

    "So when you figured out that I was... the YouTuber—"

    "Puddinghead—"

    "—Yeah, that. Didn't you think I lied to you?"

You shook your head, "You never had a face reveal, which meant that you wanted to keep it a secret. So why would I feel like you lied? You had every reason to—"

    "Stop being so fucking adorable, it's actually pissing me off." Kenma snapped without realizing.

Both of your eyes widened—Kenma's and yours—at the words that exited his mouth. Your face was flaming at what he said, and Kenma probably felt like a suicidal ostrich. He wanted to bury his head under the ground and never rise, for that would keep him away from the embarrassment that was due; he could hear Kuroo's laughter in the distance, which made it all the worse.

    "I'm... I'm not trying to be cute, you know?" You said, tilting your head a little, playing with a strand of your hair.

Kenma frowned at you, wondering now if you were doing it on purpose.

    "What are you... doing?"

    "There's a word for it!" You pointed an index finger in the air, "Hanker sore."

Kenma scoffed, "What's that?"

    "It's finding someone so attractive that it pisses you off."

Kenma blushed, "Y-You're not all that attractive, you just... come across as cute sometimes."

Your eyes widened, "I'm a catch!"

He bit his lower lip, "Yeah, sure."

    "Hey! I am a total catch, you could like totally fall for me!"

Kenma's heart skipped a beat, "Yeah, sure."

While you were sitting across him having a struggle over how he easily pushed away your claims, Kenma stared at you like you were all he could see, and as if you were a sight that he would forget if he didn't drink in your details at this very second. A moment later, you gasped before leaning forward.

    "I think we should get something."

    "Let's actually... go get your platinum."

Your eyes widened, "You... don't mind?"

He shook his head now that he was absolutely certain, "No, let's go back."

You were beaming and thanking him, acting as if he suddenly wasn't the YouTuber you had been simping after, treating him like a separate individual that he was, behaving as you would with anyone else; Kenma's worries dissipated in thin air, he was now confident that he had fallen in love with you, mind, body, and soul—your voice had ensnared and captured him, and now, your revelation had done the deed of claiming his heart.

    "Oh, and," Kenma said, "No one will know."

You nodded before throwing him a mock salute, "Of course!"

*

You were legitimately freaking out. 

Kenma had followed you as puddinghead on your professional Twitter and you had been staring at the screen for close to an hour now. You weren't sure if the reason for your heart to be beating the way it was was because Kenma was puddinghead or because you had finally learned what puddinghead looked like, but whatever it was, the feeling was intense.

Are these feelings romantic though? You wouldn't lie, before you knew puddinghead's face, you had pictured meeting him and dating him—the regular daydreaming that a person would do for the person they were simping after. And while those thoughts were innocent, now puddinghead had a name. Puddinghead was Kozume Kenma, an attractive college student, CEO of Bouncing Ball Corp, and YouTuber. Your mind was taking you to places, and juxtaposing your previous fantasies now with Kenma's face. No, no, no, you scolded yourself before covering your face with your hand. Yes, discovering his identity is huge, but don't forget, he thinks of you as a friend!

You were about to join his party on the PSN and co-op Bloodborne again, but all you could think about were how long Kenma's fingers were when they were placed on the table before you that day when you met him in the cafe.

You were practically out of it.

    "Hey, Kozume-kun!"

    "You know you can call me Kenma, right? I call you (y/n)."

    "O-Oh," Your face reddened uncharacteristically. "R-Really?"

You heard Kenma chuckle and your heart was ready to combust, "Yeah, what's there to think about?"

Oh dear lord, "Okay. Uh... So..."

     "So."

     "Uh."

    "(y/n)?"

Fuck, "K-Kenma-kun."

Kenma had his hand covering his jaw at how cute you sounded, but you were practically jelly yourself. It wasn't easy learning the identity of your internet crush and having to play with them as friends. It wasn't easy to accept these facts and to admit that maybe, just maybe, the person that they are in real life was equally attractive.

    "We have to beat the Shadows of Yharnam today."

Did his voice always sound like velvet?

    "Hm, I've heard they were relatively easy?"

    "No," He said chuckling, "To you, they're definitely going to be a challenge."

When he chuckles, I feel like I'll die.

    "Didn't you play against them without co-op?"

    "Oh, yeah," You could practically picture him rubbing the back of his neck, "I did co-op for Gherman in the end, though."

Fuck, he's so cute!

    "What?" Kenma asked, sounding confused.

    "What?"

    "You said 'he's so cute', you mean Gherman?" You gasped, "(y/n), he's... he's an old man?"

    "Y-Yeah! Haha, I mean... Yeah. It's... I was..."

Kenma laughed before asking you to continue before you slapped yourself for making such a big fool out of yourself. Snap out of it, you scolded yourself once more. You can't like Kenma-kun just because you know he's puddinghead.

But, did you?

As days passed, you exchanged numbers with Kenma. Texting him was relatively easy since he barely tried to keep the conversation alive and you just had so much to say. Sometimes, Kenma believed he might be boring, but you kept texting him as if his personality wasn't really that much of a bother. He wasn't much of a texter, and you had caught on, a fact that didn't actually bother you. Kenma, however, would never leave you on read, would try to reply within the hour even though he doesn't text as often.

Your mind, however, revolved around the heart he had once sent you as puddinghead.

You were re-reading the tweets almost every night, and juxtaposing the image of an empty face with Kenma's. For some reason, puddinghead's image was slowly erasing itself from your mind; you became less fascinated with the YouTube persona, but instead, looked forward to hearing from his real-life identity, trying to know more about his day, about his other interests, and having learned that he was from Nekoma blew your mind since he was from a rival school.

Kenma and you often met at the cafe again, just to grab a few snacks and talk about games. It would be you most of the time who would be initiating conversation, and Kenma would listen and retort when he felt the need to. However, not once did you feel like he wasn't listening; not once did Kenma make you think you weren't keeping him engaged. His eyes were on you, his intense gaze enough to burn you to the ground. It practically had you shivering.

Your mind, however, still continued to revolve around the heart he had once sent you as puddinghead.

    "I might need to go to a volleyball game soon—"

    "Why did you send me a heart?"

Kenma froze before meeting your gaze. "What?"

You almost wanted to slap yourself but you had said it. You couldn't hold it back, you couldn't keep mulling over your thoughts and therefore, you decided to tell the source of your problems what your problems were.

    "Kenma-kun, I... I had a big crush on puddinghead," Kenma's gaze on you was unwavering, "Now that I know you're puddinghead, and... and you were the one who sent me a heart, I... I've always thought you were cute and all—"

    "(y/n)—"

    "—and it's a bit unfair if I like you only because you're puddinghead, but I gave it a lot of thought—"

    "—(y/n), listen—"

    "—and I don't want you thinking that my feelings are just because you're a famous YouTuber and I just want to like... I don't know... I enjoy every second with you and slowly I just—"

Kenma's finger tapped your forehead, freezing you in position. His cat-like eyes were boring into your soul, and there he was, face inches away from yours, expressionlessly staring into you.

    "I've been in love with you for the longest time," Kenma's voice was gold, "No pressure, though."

    "No..." What the fuck? "N-No pressure?!"

Kenma laughed at your outburst, "Yeah, I mean... I took sometime accepting it, to even think that I liked you over the internet didn't make sense to me. And then we bumped into each other and we started gaming together and I guess I understood that your internet persona was just a part of you I'd liked, and now I like you more."

Oh.

Was it really that simple?

    "So... If I liked you as puddinghead—"

    "Please don't call me that."

    "—and if I like you as Kenma-kun, then..."

Kenma sighed before offering you a sweet smile, "It's probably the same thing, (y/n). Stop worrying."

    "Can I kiss you?" You blurted out, without thought.

God, this woman, Kenma thought, before covering his jaw with his hand.

*

In less than a week, you'd learned the route to Kenma's apartment by heart. You went over to game at his place, and slowly began streaming as (y/n) again on Twitch. You didn't want to stream with Kenma yet, because you guys had just started dating a month ago. For liking you longer than you liked him, Kenma was relatively cool about you hanging over at his, and about initiating any sort of touch—because your thoughts were practically spilling out of you and as cute as he once thought they were, he didn't want you to say 'pinch me' every time he kissed you.

Kenma's hands were buried into your hair as he kissed you fervently, softly at first before pulling back to see how flushed your face was. He'd never really imagined you being here, out of the screen he saw you from, in his arms, kissing him back.

He chuckled at the thought.

    "What's so funny?" You were legitimately a crackhead, but he adored you.

    "I thought having a crush on you was very inconvenient at first."

    "Why?"

He shrugged before pulling you to his chest, your face reddening at the contact. He noticed, but simply shook his head as you buried your face into his chest.

    "Because I thought it was too good to be true."

    "Am I the one freaking out each time or are you?"

    "Yeah, that part even I don't get."

You giggled before wrapping your hands around his neck, bringing yourself closer to him. Your face was at the crook of his neck, eyes closed as his arms were wrapped around your waist. You were both currently on Kenma's couch, nuzzling with each other on a lazy class-less Monday.

Suddenly, the door opened, revealing Kenma's roommate, in all honesty, did not know how to react when a famous Twitch streamer was lying asleep on his roommate. Kenma gave him a nonchalant look before placing a finger on his lips.

    "She's asleep."

    "Y-Yeah, that's definitely what I was thinking." The roommate said before rushing to his room and locking the door.

Well, Kenma thought before bringing his hand back around your waist, That's a problem for another day.

[gt-ridel]

Several hundred words of Half-Life Borrower!AU goodness

(Hi, this is Passportinspection!) Oooh goodness. I actually started writing this as an ask. I really thought what I had to say would fit into an ask. Since sending that anon about having 350 words of thoughts, I ended up getting distracted for a few hours, and then when I came back to this, I apparently had 400 more words to say. I just love rambling what-ifs about AUs. :’>

_

Hi Passportinspection!  Sorry it took so long to reply to this. I had more work than I thought yesterday. >__< I totally agree! Rambling about what-ifs is WAY more fun than actually writing a story. ;;>__> _

These are… not all A-list ideas, and I was very tempted to cut it down to the best bits, BUT I know that if someone said to me “I had 5 ideas for your au but only told you the 2 good ones” I would be extremely interested in hearing the 3 bad ones anyway, so… here it all is. This was written pretty stream-of-consciousness and then rearranged a bit to form my pinballing thoughts into something a little more linear, but, fair warning, it wasn’t edited much beyond that.

_ Ooo, I absolutely want to hear everything! All ideas, good and bad! Are you kidding? (Gets comfy) _

I keep thinking about the end of that “gordon takes borrower!barney with him through the events of HL1” scenario; Imagining gman’s speech at the end, I like the idea of him saying something like, “As for your.. /passenger/..” and both of their bloods running cold. I can’t decide if I’d rather barney actually go into stasis with gordon or not I think it could be an interesting/cute concept- the idea that gman/his employers figured barney was enough of a factor in gordon’s success that they thought it would be wise to keep them together for future “assignments.”

_ Bro I'll be honest, I hadn't gotten that far in the AU because I still haven't finished the game. My only reference for G-man is Mr. Coolatta. So I'll have to at least look the ending up on youtube before I'll be able to give my informed opinion.  But taking it as is?  That would be freaking terrifying. They've met some other scientists and security guards during their escape, but the HEV helmet was a perfect hiding place. None of them ever noticed that Gordon wasn't alone.  But somehow this reality bending creep knows, and it looks like he's not going to let Barney and Gordon just go home, which was basically what they were fighting for the whole time.  _

I’m also thinking about, like.. With Barney in Gordon’s helmet with him, Gordon must be able to feel him tense up and hear his breathing speed up whenever something particularly scary/dangerous happens, maybe even at times faintly feel the fluttering of his heart, and it strengthens his resolve to make it out of there bc it’s not just himself he’s saving. 🥺 Also Barney can provide running commentary, which perhaps soothes both of their nerves a little. Maybe he even helps with some puzzles. :> I also think it’s funny/convenient that that would work really well for an actual video game format. A friend that’s with you wherever you go that sees everything you see but can’t interact with the world but provides commentary and occasional helpful tips? That fits in nicely!

  _ Ha! Something I was thinking about was how Barney has spent his whole life living in the vents and such. He would probably be a perfect guide for Gordon. :3 As for Gordon feeling when Barney gets tense or scared and that fuling his drive to escape, that was ABSOLUTELY one of the reasons I wanted Barney in the helmet.  It would be uncomfortable, inconvenient, and down right dangerous sometimes. But you cannot deny the unique opportunities for deeper emotional exploration it would present. _

…But also, now that I think about it, maybe there are parts where the only way forward is for Barney to slip through a crack in a blockaded doorway and use a control panel that opens another door- that sort of thing. He gets to help with more than just talking sometimes! :> Oh, dang, imagine the part where gordon gets jumped and almost killed by the military. Poor Barney. D: Maybe a factor in Gordon escaping the trash compactor before it crushes him is Barney frantically trying to wake him up.

_ I was defo hyperfixating on what the whole beat down would be like from Barney's perspective a few days ago! Gordon would be at an extra disadvantage in the fight because he'd have to be careful not to accidentally bash Barney between his skull and the helmet while he's being smacked around.  Imagine Barney being tossed all over the small space, maybe ending up pinned when Gordon finally passes out. Noticing when a small stream of blood starts leaking from his friends mouth and soaking into his clothes. Gordon is completely helpless, and so is Barney as he hears the soldiers talking about what they're going to do with the body.  I just think that whole scene and the escape from the trash compactor would be so fun and exciting~ -

Also, unrelated, but I wonder how barney would wake up in city 17, if he did go into stasis with gordon. That is, since gordon is wearing a citizen outfit when he comes out of stasis, barney obviously can’t be in the helmet anymore. Maybe gman elects to move barney to a pocket somewhere instead lol. I’m imagining as soon as gordon is released from whatever effect gman had him under and he’s able to move again, he starts patting himself down looking for Barney (the same way one does when they forget which pocket their phone is in ), bc last he knew Barney was right up against his face and now he’s /not/, and that man SAID they’d be “hired” as a team so /where is he/ because Gordon needs to know he’s /okay/. As Barney is released from the same effect, he probably moves and makes himself apparent, so it’s only for like a second that Gordon is doing that.

_ Once again, I can't speak much to what would happen in a HL2 continuation of this story, but that sounds about right for an initial reaction scene.  Imagine Barney just coming out of it and being in some sort of... bag? being jostled around? He feels a giant hand pat over him from outside and he grunts in surprise. Then the hand rests against him and Barney realizes he's in a humans breast pocket, being held against someones chest as beside him a thundering heart slowly begins to calm. He figures this must be Gordon. He doesn't KNOW any other humans, and he can't imagine that man in the suit would be all that concerned about Barney's wellbeing.  _ 

Barney doesn’t know where they are/who else is out there at all ‘cause he can’t see from where he is, and Gordon can feel him shifting to lean out of the pocket and get a look, and he just puts a hand over the pocket, covering the opening in the process, and applies a gentle pressure for a couple moments, and Barney knows that means he needs to stay put because it’s not safe to come out yet. Thankfully Barney heard Gman talking to Gordon and addressing him by name, so he doesn’t have to worry about whose pocket he just woke up in. He would probably somewhat recognize Gordon’s gait/the feel of his hands at that point, too. As for how Gordon avoids boarding the train to Nova Prospekt without canon barney there to stop him, I have no idea.

  _ YEAAAH that is a good point. Barney is kind of vital for that role. Maybe we can slot a different character into his place. ^__^;; _

Oooh, going back a bit, maybe when the nihilanth is teleporting gordon around in the boss level, or from the very beginning when gordon jumps into the portal to Xen, they get teleported separately and end up in different places? (Ignoring for a moment the parts with portals in Black Mesa ^^;) That sure is an additional level of distress for the both of them during the Big Final Level(s). And then perhaps at the end, part of gman’s speech can be like, “As for your.. companion, you can rest assured he was recovered safe and sssound. After all, you two performed so well, together, it would be ideal to hire you as, a team.” Or whatever

_ Imagine Barney, stranded and alone on Xen, desperately trying to find Gordon, and having his OWN creepy G-man encounter. :U _

Our Barney AUs differ in some exciting ways and it’s fun to play in someone else’s sandbox for a while. :p I’ll probably cut my notes doc down into something readable and post it sometime in the near-ish future.. Either that or actually write the dang fic.

_ I would absolutely LOVE to hear about your AU too! So if you do either of those things, be sure to @ me!  Thank you so much for playing in this sandbox with me. I am ALWAY down to talk Borrower AU stuff. It's just so much dang fun! ^0^

[cherry-valentine]

Fall 2020 Anime Season:

Golden Kamuy Season 3 is, so far, just as good as the first two seasons. For anyone unfamiliar with the show, it follows a former soldier called “Immortal Sugimoto” (nicknamed so for his tendency to survive a lot of shit that would kill most people) and a young Ainu (the Japanese equivalent of Native Americans) girl as they search Northern Japan (and even parts of Russia) for hidden Ainu gold. The story is pretty wild, with threats coming from the wildlife and the harsh, snowy conditions as often as from mercenaries, assassins, and various other human dangers. The cast has expanded enough that we have several separate groups of cool, well-written characters roaming about (and they’ve shuffled a bit from season two, making their interactions very interesting). Sugimoto remains one of my favorite anime protagonists. He’s one of the more brutal, violent main characters I’ve seen, but, strangely, also one of the nicest. He’s kind to innocents (both people and animals) but will slaughter his enemies without hesitation. He’s also pretty funny. Then again, almost every character is subject to the show’s weird but endearing humor. It’s very hard to dislike any character, even the ones who are quite cruel. The show is also notable for having a lot of homoerotic subtext. The beefy, handsome men sure do love taking their clothes off and wrestling. Like, taking it ALL off. Multiple times per season. Yeah. Watch this show, everybody.

Ikebukuro West Gate Park is a new show this season that I was initially interested in because it reminded me of Durarara!! in that it’s set in Ikebukuro and features color gangs. That’s where the similarities end, however. Whereas Durarara!! had tons of supernatural elements and just plain craziness, IWGP is more realistic by comparison. The show follows Makoto, a seemingly normal guy who seems to function in a sort of “odd jobs” type of role for a color gang called the G Boys. While they’re a gang, they don’t seem like criminals or thugs, or even delinquents. They really feel more like a club, held together by their respect for the leader referred to as King. So far the series seems to be episodic in nature, with most stand-alone episodes focusing on some sort of social issue, from drug addiction to immigration. It’s interesting to see these issues presented in such a sympathetic light, viewed through the lens of Tokyo’s youth. The art is nice, with varied character designs and animation that’s just good enough that you don’t notice the problems very often. The music is a highlight, with my favorite opening theme of the season and one of the better ending themes.

Magatsu Wahrheit is a show I was very iffy on at first. It has a lot of things working against it. It’s based on a video game I’ve never heard of, the opening theme is one of the cheapest, most unimpressive things I’ve ever seen (note: it does improve a few episodes in!), and the series overall has a low budget feel (though nowhere near as bad as Gibiate from last season). But the story is actually very interesting and very well written. The basic premise is that Young Man A (I’m not remembering these weird names, sorry) works as a delivery truck driver in your usual “modern fantasy” setting (kingdoms and monsters and other medieval fantasy trappings alongside trucks and cars and advanced science laboratories). When he’s loading up his deliveries, Young Man B, a fresh recruit in the kingdom’s military and general goody-two-shoes, randomly offers to help Young Man A load his truck. Young Man B spots some boxes off to the side and, assuming they were part of the load, puts them into the truck while Young Man A is talking to his boss. These boxes turn out to be illegal weapons being smuggled by a group of... freedom fighters? I guess? This, in turn, drags Young Man A into a shit storm of trouble when the illegal weapons are discovered in his truck. It also leads directly to tragedy for Young Man B as well, setting them both on wildly different but similarly dangerous paths. The whole idea that a simple act of kindness for a stranger sets off such a terrible series of events is pretty engaging. As it stands in the show right now, Young Man A is the more compelling character. He’s just a truck driver. He’s a coward who runs from danger and wants no part of any of this. But at the same time, he can be surprisingly brave at times (usually when a child is in danger). In a twist on the usual trope, these spurts of bravery are rarely rewarded. At least twice, his decision to act has led to heartbreaking tragedy. So far Young Man B is your typical “idealistic youth realizing the military isn’t comprised entirely of nice people” type of character. As such, he’s just not as interesting. He hasn’t had as much screen time though, so hopefully he’ll grow as a character. I guess it says a lot that I’ve written so much about the show, and almost all of it is about the plot. But the plot is really the only remarkable thing about it. In this case, that’s enough.

Higurashi no Naku Koro ni is, well, a bit of a trainwreck. And I’m not necessarily talking about the quality of the show. Let me explain: The show was marketed as a remake of the 2006 anime, which was one of my all-time favorite series. I was pretty excited about it. Lots of new fans who had never watched the original started this one. The first episode was okay. I wasn’t crazy about how shiny everything looked (I realize the original’s visuals are a bit dated now but at least they were unique, this new one looks like pretty much every harem anime from the past five years) but the story seemed to be doing good and I looooooved the use of the original opening theme song as the closer. Then episode two dropped, and the fandom basically exploded. The first few minutes of episode two reveal that this is not a remake, but a sequel! Shock! At first, I was impressed by this little bit of manipulation. It felt exciting to realize the truth. But then it dawned on me (and the rest of the fandom) that new viewers who came to watch this were screwed over. Those first few minutes of episode two spoil some very important things from the original series (we’re talking major spoilers here), and it’s going to ruin a lot of plot points for those who never watched the original and now want to go back and watch it first. So here’s a PSA: If you’re new to Higurashi and want to try this new series, DON’T unless you’re okay with watching a sequel that spoils the original.

Okay, so now let’s talk about this new series/sequel. First, the good points: The ending theme is GORGEOUS. Just... go watch it. Soak it up. The opening isn’t bad but I can’t help comparing it to the far superior original opening. Aside from the overly shiny and generic character designs, the rest of the visuals are pretty great. The scenery in particular is very nice. In terms of story, I like the idea of beginning each new “arc” by staying close to the original story, then throwing in some pretty wild deviations that make them end in completely different ways because a character that lived through the original is trying to make subtle changes (that so far have ended up turning out very badly). When it comes to the bad points, one in particular sticks out: It’s not scary! The original had some truly unsettling moments, and so far this one hasn’t even been creepy. It’s had some moments that obviously tried to be scary but have failed miserably. For example, the early scenes with Rena in the original were actually terrifying. But I felt none of the intensity or creepiness in this sequel. Still, it’s nice to see these characters again and to see how this story deviates as someone tries desperately to change the outcomes.

Haikyuu!! has another new season and... I don’t really know what to say about it. I’ve talked about this show several times now. Looks like this season is going to focus primarily on one long match, a concept I’m not crazy about. They also made the baffling decision to cut in with a full episode about a rival team’s match right in the middle of showing the match with the main team. I mean I love seeing more of the rival teams but it felt disjointed to do it this way. Still yet, it’s a fun and energetic show full of great characters and easily understood volley ball matches.

Jujutsu Kaisen is probably the most hyped up new show this season, and I would say it definitely deserves that hype. It’s a pretty familiar shounen fighting anime setup: A teenage boy acquires special powers and joins a school to train so that he can use those powers for good. However, following that formula does little to negate just how fun and well-done this series is. A lot of people have compared it to Naruto (the protagonist is a vessel for a powerful entity, he joins a trio of characters with a more serious and moody black-haired boy and a chick, and they have a badass teacher with silver hair who keeps his face partially covered). So sure, it’s like Naruto... except it’s much better than Naruto in every conceivable way. The animation and fight choreography are consistently fantastic. The main character is not the least bit annoying. The only chick in the group (there are more cool ladies in the story, just not in this group!) is a badass in her own right and her story and motivations have absolutely nothing to do with romantic interest in any of the guys. Even the teacher character is incredibly fun. The music is great, with my favorite ending theme of the season. You know it’s an excellent ending theme when people start making different versions of it using characters from other shows. It’s so, well, fun. A word I keep using here, because that’s the first word that comes to mind when I’m watching this series.

Talentless Nana is one of those shows that’s going to be difficult for me to talk about without spoiling a very cool surprise. This surprise comes at the end of episode one (basically, the show makes you think it’s about something, but turns out it’s about something completely different). So if you want to really enjoy that surprise, stop reading this and go watch episode one before coming back. If you’ve already watched it or don’t mind having the surprise spoiled, here we go: The first episode sets up the series to be a cheap Boku no Hero Academia knock-off. We have a school of “talented” (super powered) kids training to use their powers to save humanity from (so far) unseen monsters referred to as “the enemies of humanity”. We are told one boy has no “talent” or special power and he’s ridiculed for this. There’s a new transfer student named Nana, a super sweet and cheerful girl with pink hair who has the ability to read minds. There’s also another transfer student, a sullen and quiet boy named Kyouya who hasn’t disclosed what his “talent” is. With that setup, I think a lot of people were ready to dismiss it as “BNHA, but not as good”. But then, a few minutes before the first episode ends, we’re hit with the twist that reveals what this show is really about: Nana is the one with no “talent”. She lied about being able to read minds (the boy we thought had no talent did actually have one). She’s a totally normal human being, and she has been sent to infiltrate the school and kill off the students, the true “enemies of humanity” (called so because their powers make them incredibly dangerous). Thus, the show is about a normal human girl using only her wits and skill in manipulation to kill off super-powered individuals. Watching her work is an absolute delight. She is ruthless and incredibly intelligent, but she does have one major problem: the other transfer student Kyouya, who is at least as smart as she is and is suspicious of her right off the bat. But since he’s not sure she’s up to no good, he can’t really act on his suspicions. Nana in turn knows he suspects her, so she has to be careful around him. As a result, the two become “friends”, constantly watching and outmaneuvering each other. In this way, the series reminds me of the early, best parts of Death Note, with the mental sparring between Light and L. But the most fun you’ll have with this show is watching Nana come up with ways to deal with each new “talent” she comes across, from the ability to time travel to necromancy, all while having no special power of her own. The art is nice, a bit generic, nothing too fancy. The music is great, with one of the better opening themes this season.

Moriarty the Patriot focuses on the classic Sherlock antagonist Professor Moriarty. Let me get this out of the way first: I know next to nothing about Sherlock. I haven’t even watched any of the various tv shows about him. What I know of the character basically comes from mentions of him in Detective Conan. So I’m coming into this series with no preconceived notions about these characters and no other versions to compare them to. Anyway, Moriarty as a series is about class warfare. Moriarty as a character pretty much embodies the phrase “eat the rich”. If you’re familiar with the phrase and understand its meaning, you’ll probably like this show. Moriarty works as a professor, but his side job is as a “Crime Consultant”. He helps the poor lower classes get revenge on the cruel nobles and elites who have wronged them. This revenge most often involves murder. There’s something refreshing about how unapologetic it is. In most anime, the hero tries to find other ways to punish evil than by actually killing them, or there’s some lesson involved about how revenge isn’t the answer or how killing someone who wronged you makes you as bad as them. In this series, there’s absolutely none of that. People get their revenge and, so far as I’ve watched, seem to be living much happier lives afterwards. In this way the show totally avoids being preachy. The art is gorgeous, with classy character designs and lovely backgrounds. There’s a certain lushness to it. The music is very nice as well (particularly that poppy ending theme). The only downside is that this has probably ruined me for watching other versions of these characters now. I mean, once you see them as sexy anime pretty boys, it’s hard to see them as anything else.

Carry Over Shows From Previous Seasons:

Black Clover

Best of Season:

Best New Show: Jujutsu Kaisen

Best Opening Theme: Ikebukuro West Gate Park

Best Ending Theme: Jujutsu Kaisen

Best New Male Character: Moriarty (Moriarty the Patriot)

Best New Female Character: Nana (Talentless Nana)

[angieschiffahoi]

Ok, alright. I finished Harrow. 

First off, I have to give it to this series: this is the first time in I don’t even know how long I have started - let alone finished - the second book in a series. And, unless things change in whatever time left before Alecto comes out, I am planning to finish the series. Something that hasn’t happened since I was still in the good side of my twenties (I mean, I don’t think Homo Sacer counts as a series, does it?). 

Now. To the review! Haha, just kidding. Probably just yelling and incoherent mumbling. 

Obviously, spoilers. 

The writing: As I already pointed out in some of my posts, this is a more mature novel and it proves that the author wasn’t just throwing in slang because she couldn’t commit to a writing style. This is a fantasy space opera which mocks Greek tragedies, so it had to have a unique style. I have to admit, though, that the leap from book 1 to book 2 is... quite ambitious. The first is a 400 pages book that feels like it’s 200 and this one is a 500 pages book that feels like it’s 900. It’s mostly because it is pretty confusing and it is not a light summer read. There’s great attention to detail in the writing and, therefore, there must be great attention to detail when reading. I should have marked stuff with post-its but I was reading on my Kindle. I probably should’ve bought a hard copy as well, because I really wanted to go back and read some bits, but on the Kindle it is not as easy (for example all of those notes by Wake Harrow kept reading). It was very clever to write in third and second person, both for sentimental reasons and comprehension purposes. It was a bit jarring when we switched to first person in the later chapters, but I got used to it. It is a style that sometimes pulls you out of the story, it is ambitious, sometimes a bit tedious (especially during the fights that drag on), but I don’t mind when authors finally break those rules that make all new novels identical. This is a writing experiment and I enjoyed it. The “Miette” joke, while funny in a fanfiction, may have been a bit too much even for me, though. 

The plot: I was a bit disappointed with the final reveal. The whole book I kept saying “Nah, Gideon’s not the Emperor’s daughter,” because it was a bit cliché. I really was hoping she was the lovechild of two Lyctors, but the “Hi, I’m Not Fucking Dead. I’m Dad.” was worth it. Now can I start referring to Gideon as Hercules? And, no, she’s not Heracles. She’s obviously Disney’s Hercules (except that she has a “mortal” mum). Also, while the last few chapters of Gideon wrapped up all of the mysteries nicely and kept some stuff for the sequels, ending this on three cliffhangers was a bit too much (for me). But second installments in trilogies tend to do that. I’m just afraid I won’t remember half of the things I will need to understand Alecto and I really hope the narrative in that will be a little simpler than in Harrow. The question was never “will I finish it?”, because it is a compelling book, but “how exhausted will I be?” And I kind of was. I got to admit though that, as usual, all of the plot twists felt earned and it feels like a thoroughly planned trilogy. I still can’t understand half the lore, though. I don’t know if it’s because I was a bit tired while reading, but I couldn’t really picture the Resurrection Beasts and the “planet killing” subplot (it didn’t feel like main plot). The Ortus/Gideon Prime trying to kill Harrow every fifteen minutes was a bit silly and, yes, it added tension and drama, but it was a bit too much (not unnecessary, because of the link to the Emperor trying to fix her, but it played a bit cartoonish).

The genre: while Gideon was hardly sci-fi and this one is far from being hard sci-fi, it was nice to see more space elements. The first book had a fantasy, mystery, thriller feelings (up to the main battle at the end, which felt like a boss battle in a fantasy video game). This one was way more science-fictiony but with Greek tragedy elements and it had a lot more horror and gore. 

The characters: I missed Gideon so much. Even in the chapters she was narrating, it didn’t really feel like her, mostly - I believe - because the author wanted to maintain the mystery of who the narrator was. But I feel it was a bit of a disservice to Gideon, because she has such a distinct voice that it didn’t feel like her, until she showed up in Harrow’s body. I loved seeing all of my faves from the first book and I have a feeling we’ll see them again. Especially, Palamedes who’s clueless in his bubble. I’m glad Camilla is alive and Abigail Pent is the MVP. Took me a while to get who Commander Wake was and I still don’t really understand her connection to the Emperor and the Lyctors (and how she got the name? I mean, it’s funny, but you have to explain that). Ianthe was... interesting, but I really don’t want her near Harrow. She may have a crush, but she’s manipulative and doesn’t really know how to act on it. Harrow really became her own character and I’m glad the two protagonists now are fully explored. I liked the Emperor. John Gaius is my dude, I’m sorry. Maybe he’s evil, maybe he’s not but he makes dad jokes and I love him. Mercy, Augustine and Ortus/Gideon were... a bit forgettable honestly. A bit of a caricature, but they reminded me a lot of petty Greek gods. Nobody touch Ortus Nigenad. He’s my baby, too. The Sleeper (in the River bubble) was a very creepy character and it reminded me of Russel T. Davis era Doctor Who antagonists. 

All in all, there were a lot of great moments. It isn’t a book for everyone and I understand that. I still feel like the people criticizing the series are doing it for the wrong reasons and focusing too much on the writing style, while there is something that does not fully convince me, but it’s not the writing. I think people - especially in fantasy - are getting too used to third person limited. Using different points of view is fun and more writers should experiment. There are a lot of compelling books written in first person and terrible books written in third person omniscient. The talent of a writer isn’t in how “by the book” they are, but if they make a well written, compelling story with three dimensional characters. The Locked Tomb, so far, has all three. 

I may have missed something, but the book was very full and I’m not very good at remembering things. 

[a-singleboat]

Just for Laughs

Word Count: 2.7k

Request:  Could you do a Noah fanfic with either the sixth or eighth prompt on Fake Family!? :) - anon

There were three things you knew about living in Los Angeles. The first was to never walk anywhere alone at night. Between the constant tourists and the fact that you were vertically challenged, it was easy for you to get lost in the crowd. The second was to never forget to bring your pepper spray with you--which you had. It was an honest mistake. In between rushing out of the house that morning and spilling lukewarm coffee on yourself, you figured you could allow that one slip up. 

The third thing you knew about living in Los Angeles, however, was that you could always call on your best friend to get you out of a sticky situation if you ever needed. 

So now, at two in the morning, you called him up and explained your situation. After wrapping up the closing shift at the bar, you realized that you had let the time slip away from you yet again. The trains stopped their service at one am, you knew that, but the tourists in the area didn’t. 

“Again,” you said, drawing your black cardigan closer to your body. “I’m really sorry about this, Noah. There were some late customers and Phil had already left for the night so I didn’t really know what to do and by the time I actually managed to kick them out, it was two.”

“It’s fine, Y/n,” he assured you over the phone. You heard the jangling of keys on the other side as a door closed, his car starting up not even a second later. “But you have to make this up to me.”

You shivered slightly in the November chill. While the weather during the day wasn’t terribly cold, the nights could prove hypothermic. 

“Fine,” you said, rubbing your arms to generate what little heat you could. “I’ll do whatever, thank you.”

“I’ll be there in ten,” he promised before hanging up. You slipped your phone back into the small bag you carried and drew your keys. If you didn’t have your pepper spray, you’d at least be able to defend yourself with the semi-sharp pieces of metal. 

Thankfully, you didn’t have to stab anyone that night. True to his word, Noah arrived ten minutes later, honking his horn twice. 

You clambered into his car, apologizing and thanking him profusely yet again. He waved you off, signaling to pull away from the curb. 

“It’s really okay, Y/n,” he said, setting off toward your apartment. “Besides, mom would kill me if I just left you to fend for yourself.”

You giggled. Mom. He was of course, referring to his own mother. After yours had died when you were very little, you had bonded with the strange boy that brought you flowers the day after the funeral. And while Denise couldn’t truly replace your own mother, she acted enough like her to gain the title. 

“So you know how I said you’d owe me?” Noah asked, finally pulling into his assigned parking space. 

You nodded. 

“Well…” he rubbed the back of his neck. “We’re doing recording for a Smosh Pit video next week and Courtney’s bringing her sister and I was thinking…”

“You want me to be your sister for the video as well,” you guessed, getting out of the car. He killed the engine and got out as well, locking the doors before the two of you headed toward the building. 

It was lucky that the two of you had managed to find a place with two vacancies. You were separated only by an older woman named Barbara and her three cats, which neither of you minded considering you were both avid cat people. 

The two of you walked up to your floor, the elevator being out of service for the time being. He told you a little more about the premise of the video, in which you and Courtney’s sister would essentially be going through embarrassing moments and videos of the two from their childhood. 

“So basically I get to make fun of you to your fans while they all think that I’m your biological sister?” you asked, key already in the door. You already knew you were going to say yes, after all, you owed him. You twisted the handle and removed the key, opening the door. “Am I getting paid?”

“Uh, yes,” Noah said. “If you agree to it, Ian, my boss, will send all the information to you and the paperwork and stuff as well.”

You propped the door open with one foot, reaching in slightly to hang your keys on the hook just inside your door. You held your hand out to the man, who gladly shook it. 

“I’ll be there,” you promised, inching into your apartment. “Now if you’ll excuse me, I wish to no longer reek of alcohol.”

Noah laughed. “Yeah, and other things.”

You hit him with your bag, not hard enough to hurt, and laughed as well. 

“Goodnight, Noah,” you said, waving to him.

“Goodnight, Y/n.”

A week later and you were really feeling the nerves. You’d gone to the address that Noah had sent you and after a brief reunion with Keith, you were buzzed in and brought up to the studios. There, you said hello to a few people you remembered from an event Noah had hosted in his apartment before being directed to where Noah’s desk sat. 

It wasn’t long before your best friend came and gathered you, wrapping you in his arms and messing with your hair. You swatted at him, telling him to back off before using your phone’s camera to fix the rat’s nest that he had created atop your head. You were’;t really annoyed, having spent no time doing your hair. The most you’d done that day was put a bit of product in to contain the frizz. 

Humidity really was not your friend. 

“You ready to go?” he asked, pointing over his shoulder with his thumb. “They’re pretty much ready for us.”

You stood up from his seat, grabbing your phone but leaving your bag. “You never told me exactly what you guys were filming today, Noah. Like, you said it was a Smosh Pit video but didn’t really explain what it was.”

Noah rubbed the back of his neck. “Well, there was a reason why I told you to bring an extra set of clothes.” 

Right. Last minute that morning, Noah had texted for you to bring an extra set of clothes. Just in case, he had stressed. 

“Basically, it’s like newlyweds but with sisters,” he explained, weaving through various equipment pieces and clothing racks. You’d worked in entertainment before, you know how chaotic behind the scenes could get. This was clean for a production day. “Sarah, one of our producers will ask us questions that we’ll try and answer. If we answer the same, we get a point. If we don’t, we don’t get a point.”

You tried to think back to who Sarah was. You knew Keith and Courtney, two of Noah’s work friends, but knew none of the rest of them. Sarah… She must have been the bubbly half American, half-Korean producer and Social Media manager that appeared in videos from time to time. 

“Seems simple enough,” you replied, bouncing on the balls of your feet as you waited next to him. You had stopped outside of the studio doors to wait for Courtney and her sister, Kari. Between the two of you, Kari had more Smosh appearances under her belt than you did--not that you had any to begin with. 

It didn’t take long for the sisters to arrive, Courtney greeting you with a massive hug while you and Kari settled for the, “hey, we just met but this is polite,” hug. 

“You never really explained why I needed to bring an extra set of clothes,” you said, poking Noah in the side. They had allowed you into the studio at that point.

“The losing team gets pied,” Courtney supplied, looking at Noah. “Why didn’t you tell your sister that you were getting pied?”

You looked over at Noah with an incredulous look. “Noah! I think that would have been important to know.”

“It just slipped my mind!” he defended himself, laughing as you swatted at him. Neither of you bothered to correct Courtney’s claim that you were siblings. You figured she knew and just referred to what everyone else called you.

You chatted a bit longer, just getting to know each other and get more comfortable with each other when someone came over to attach microphones to your person. You let them do their job, thanking them when they backed away. 

Another woman came over, this time dressed a little more like a show hostess. 

“I’m Sarah,” she introduced herself, holding out a hand for you to shake. You gave her your name, laughing at the comment she made about how you and Noah had different last names. 

“It happens sometimes,” you joked, shrugging your shoulders. You figured that at this point, if they didn’t know you weren’t actually related, you wouldn’t try to correct them. 

Soon enough, filming started and you were handed a whiteboard and a marker, an eraser sitting on the table between you and Noah. You listened as Sarah explained the rules of the game. In order to gain a point, the answers had to be correct, or had to be similar or even the same. If you don’t answer it right, you didn’t get the point. At the end of the game of three rounds, the losing team would be getting pied. 

“First question is for the Grossmans!” Sarah announced, turning slightly so she was facing you and Noah. “What is their star sign?”

You scribbled ‘Aquarius,’ knowing it right off the top of your head. You kept your eyes on your own board, only looking up at Sarah when you were finished. She called time and you both revealed your answers. 

“Aquarius,” Sarah read, looking at your board before moving to Noah’s. She read out your star sign, which you confirmed was correct, gaining the two of your a point. You gave Noah a high five as you went to erase your board. 

The game continued on, you getting almost every question right while Courtney and Kari practically tied you at every question. 

“Okay!” Sarah said, setting her cards down. “Here’s a tie breaker for the two teams. Whoever wins this will not be getting pied and, in fact, will be receiving this ten-dollar gift card to Starbucks that I stole from Matt Raub’s wallet earlier today.”

You laughed at the joke, laughing even harder when Matt Raub himself yelled, “Hey!” and then, “Not sponsored!” from off-stage. 

“Our last question is…” Sarah opened the glued-together piece of paper, reading the question before saying, “What’s a secret that only the two of you know?”

You looked over at Noah, silently asking how that was a question valid to the newlywed game. He just shrugged and picked up his marker, writing down his answer. You picked up your own marker and jotted something down as well. 

A few moments later, Sarah called time and you recapped your marker, setting it down on the table.

“Okay,” she said, clapping her hands together. “Since we started with Noah and Y/n last time, we’ll let Courtney and Kari go first this time.”

You watched as Kari turned her board around first, her secret scrawled on the whiteboard. 

“Um,” she said looking down at her answer. “I said a secret that the two of us shared was a time when we were exploring one day and Courtney had dropped her phone over the cliff. We told our dad that she’d actually just dropped it while walking and didn’t tell them about how we scaled the cliff to get it back.”

“No!” Courtney cried, flipping her board. “I said the time when I drove into the fence and you lied and took the blame for it because I didn’t have my license yet!”

All five of you laughed as Courtney told the story, playing up the humor for the cameras. 

“Well, Courtney and Kari,” Sarah said, frowning, “sadly you did not answer this correctly so we’re going to go to Noah and Y/n.” She turned to face the two of you. “Noah, Y/n. If you get this right, you will be crowned the winners. Are you ready?”

You nodded nervously, picking at the corner of the whiteboard. 

“I’m ready,” you affirmed, looking at Noah who replied the same. 

“Okay,” Sarah said, holding a hand out to you. “Y/n, please reveal your answer.”

You flipped the board, letting the cameras and the room read the words written there. 

“What?” Sarah asked in disbelief, reading the board. “Is this real?” 

You laughed. “Yes, this is real. Noah and I aren’t actually siblings.”

Noah turned his board around too, revealing that he had written the same thing. He laughed as Sarah fanned herself, playing up her disbelief for the camera. 

“We always joke we’re siblings, but someone didn’t realize we were joking,” you explained, laughing. You set the whiteboard down on the table. “So we were seeing how far we can carry this out and apparently twenty years is the answer.”

“We would’ve kept it going but we thought you guys had already caught on,” Noah said. “Sarah even made the last name comment earlier.”

“I was joking!” Sarah said, laughing. “I thought Y/n was married or something, I don’t know!”

You shook your head. “Marriage will not be anytime soon, but I appreciate you taking it with stride, Sarah.”

Everyone laughed, Courtney and Noah doing part of the video’s outro before the video cut out so they could rearrange the room so they could pie Courtney and Kari.

“Wait,” Sarah and Courtney stopped you from moving too far away from them. “So Noah and you aren’t really related?”

You laughed. “No, but his mom is basically my mom. We grew up next door to each other and instead of falling madly in love I got a really cool older brother that brings me to his job and gets me into videos.” 

They called for Courtney and Kari to stand on the tarp in the middle of the room, setting up the pies on the table in front of them. You met back with Noah, who had disappeared to use the bathroom, and linked arms with him, standing to the side. 

“Can I just say, I am so glad we’re not the ones getting pied today,” you joked, watching as Courtney and Kari were given ponchos that would try to save their outfits. 

“Same here,” Noah said, grinning as Courtney looked upset as she slipped the plastic poncho over her head. 

When they were finally set, Sarah waved Noah and you back onto the set. She handed each of you a pie, positioning you both in front of the sisters. 

You were paired with Courtney while Noah was put in front of Kari, pies at the ready. You listened as they did a mass countdown, squeaking out an, “I’m so sorry,” before pushing the pie into Courtney’s face. You held it there for a moment, moving it back and forth before letting it fall off her face. 

It splattered onto the floor, getting a bit on your shoes. You kicked the pie away from yourself, laughing as Courtney tasted a bit of the whipped cream. 

“This is really good,” she joked, scraping a bit off her cheek and sucking her finger into her mouth. 

You helped her clean the pie off her shoulders while Noah pied Kari, both of you laughing when the entirety of the pie somehow fell out of the platter and over Kari’s shoulders. 

“Thank you for watching!” Noah said, still laughing as he tried to clean some of the pie off Kari’s shoulders. “You can find Kari on Instagram at Karimiller and you can find Y/n at [instagram handle]!” 

“Thank you guys for coming and hanging out with us!” Courtney said, reaching over to hug her sister. Noah grabbed you in for a hug as well, waving at the camera as Matt Raub yelled, “cut!”

[revisitingstoneybrook]

#68 Jessi and the Bad Babysitter: Chapter 14

Now it’s time for some fireworks! It’s always fun to see someone snap and call the BSC out. Godspeed, Wendy.

It's the next BSC meeting on Wednesday and Jessi has her eyes glued to the door, praying that Wendy arrives on time. She's afraid another Kristy-Wendy showdown will take place, and I think she's also worried that because she's the one that brought her into the BSC, it'll be her ass too.

Much to Jessi's relief, Wendy shows up at 5:29 and she's not a happy camper. “Her mouth was set in a thin line and her big brown eyes were narrowed and angry.” *gasp* How could anyone not be in a good mood to be at a BSC meeting? Wendy says she had to leave a Super Mario tournament just to be at the meeting on time. And to top it off, she was winning too! Guilt-trip all you want, Wendy. The BSC is immune to all excuses. And Super Mario...Ann must have been tearing her hair out when she read all these modern pop culture references.

Jessi tells her she did the right thing and thinks to herself the BSC is more important than video games. The BSC supercedes all! And imagine if Wendy showed up 25 minutes late again...she'd wake up in the morning with “YOU'RE GOING DOWN!” spelled out on her windowsill in baby blocks. Jessi tells Wendy it's important she's here, but Wendy doesn't look too convinced.

At 5:30, Kristy calls the meeting to order and says she has two pieces of business. First, Shannon's coming! But she's going to be late. So anyone else showing up a minute late = LOOK. Shannon showing up late = that's ok! You know what, fine. Shannon gets like no love, let them bend the rules for her.

The second piece of news...Wendy was late to the job at the Pikes! Dun dun dunnnnnn. Wendy, completely blindsided, looks at Jessi accusingly. Oh no, Wendy. Jessi didn't say anything. It was Kristy's little Yes-Girl.

Mary Anne tattled on Wendy to Kristy. She says she didn't do it to be mean (yeah right) but said it was something that Kristy had to know. Wendy tries defending herself by saying she was maybe 15-20 minutes late and Jessi was already there. Kristy snippily counteracts with this:

“The big deal is that when parents call here they know they can count on us in every way.” (Good times, bad times, in between...) “That means they can be confident that they can get out the door when they need to. This business works because we run it in a professional manner.”

Uh, no, you run it in a dictatorial manner, Miss Napoleon Complex. And geez, if Mary Anne had kept her mouth shut, nothing would have happened. I mean, Mrs. Pike came home and both girls were there and the house and kids were all in one piece. I feel for Wendy because she's being ganged up on when all she's guilty of is assuming wrong. And they all keep forgetting that SHE WAS AT A BABYSITTING JOB. It wasn't like she was out shopping or was on a date (Stacey) or something. Oh wait. That's against BSC rules too. Girl's between a rock and a hard place here.

Wendy opens her mouth to say something, then shuts it. Too bad this a G-rated book because Wendy telling Kristy to fuck off would have been great. After thinking her words over, Wendy says things aren't working out. Stacey, who's said like six lines in this whole book, wants to know why, mainly to ease the tension and keep Kristy from unleashing her claws. She's also mentally taking notes for future reference when she quits this bitch in 15 books.

Wendy says there's too many rules and doesn't like the fact that she has to surrender all her personal jobs over to the BSC. She also doesn't like having to be at meetings three days a week because it takes up too much time. Kristy, your rebuttal? “You knew the rules when you joined.”

NO SHE DIDN'T!!!!!! NO SHE DIDN'T, NO SHE DIDN'T, NO SHE DIDN'T!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Good lord! No one gave her an explanation of the rules when she first joined. Kristy was too busy acting all high and mighty, demonstrating how the club assigns jobs and yelling at Mallory for being sick. Holy shit, Kristy is such a bitch. Wendy, in a more composed manner, tells her what I just said. How the first meeting she attended was so frantic and no one ever told her what any of the rules were. Through all of this, Kristy stays silent. 

Wendy admits that the club is great (so the brainwashing did get to her a bit) but it's great for all of them - not for her. Mary Anne suggests that it's just an adjustment period and she'll be fine soon. It falls on deaf ears, because Wendy stands up and gives the BSC a verbal smackdown:

“No, I don't think so. I have parents. I have teachers. I don't need a club telling me what to do, too. That's just one too many people bossing me around.” Oooooh, want some ice for that BURN, Kristy? “Sorry it didn't work out. 'Bye.”

With that, Wendy walks out of the room and into BSC obscurity.  Or there's always my theory that she was driven out of Stoneybrook for defying the BSC and was sent to live in RI in exile, like Anne Hutchinson.

Since this is a G-rated book and there can't be any lines of “Don't let the door hit you in the ass on the way out!”, Kristy spits out a goodbye and adds on, “No offense, Jessi. But I can't believe you and she are friends.” Ouch x 100. Geez, someone is a bad match for the BSC = shitty friend. Jessi tries to defend Wendy and calls her “pretty independent.” Yes, free spirits have no place in the BSC! Hear that, Dawn? Change your hippie ways, or you're next!

Stacey jokes that Kristy's met her match. Kristy glares at her (which makes her perm go stick-straight) and gives us this. “Wendy? Not likely. I don't think there's much value in being completely undisciplined and unable to follow a few simple rules.”

A few SIMPLE rules?! The BSC runs around like a bunch of maniacs to make sure they don't break them and cower in fear at receiving one of Kristy’s Looks. The fact that the BSC is literally terrified of pissing off their president is scary and shows that their rules are not that simple.

Jessi remarks that Kristy and Wendy are actually quite alike and that's why they clashed. The only difference is, Kristy's a leader...and Wendy's a loner. Yes, let's just keep shitting all over her.

Jessi apologizes for bringing Wendy in and Kristy says it's alright, she's relieved she's gone. Because if she kept showing up late, they'd have to can her and “that would have been pretty unpleasant.” Oh yeah. With the trial for high treason and the beheading in the town park? Very unpleasant.

Mary Anne says she was afraid they'd fire her and actually had a nightmare over this the night before. “I dreamed we all had to stand in a circle and tell Wendy why she had to leave. In the dream, I couldn't do anything but cry because I felt so bad for her.” Like we need any more evidence that the BSC is a cult. I'm picturing them all in black robes, holding candles with Wendy in the middle, waiting for Logan to lead her off to her tower.

And WTF Mary Anne. If it hadn't been for you blabbing all this to Kristy in the first place, Wendy wouldn’t have up and quit. Shut up.

Before they can trash talk Wendy anymore, Shannon shows up and everything gets sunny again! And, guess what...her Honor Society dinner committee meetings are over! So she isn't as busy now! Claudia gives her the news about the newly-departed Wendy and Shannon says Kristy told her “she wasn't working out too well, anyway.” I'm sure Kristy used much more colorful language than that. 

Shannon tells them she has a cunning plan...a plan so cunning, you could brush your teeth with it. Since they've been calling her like a million times a week to offer her jobs...why doesn't she just come to meetings and take over Dawn's position as alternate officer? Then when Dawn comes back, go back to being associate?

Sounds great...JUST LIKE IT DID WHEN I SUGGESTED IT LIKE 10 FRICKIN CHAPTERS AGO!!!!!!! God, it took them THIS long to come up with that?

Kristy is overjoyed, Shannon says she has no issues with stepping down, as it'll be spring by then and she'll be swamped with school stuff and she'll be going away for the summer. Kristy freaks out and demands Shannon not go away for the summer because they'll need her. Shut up, Kristy.

Stacey tells Kristy to chill out and Kristy lets it drop. For now. So the phone starts ringing as the neglectful parents of Stoneybrook call in, Shannon takes lots of jobs, problem solved.

As Jessi goes home, she wonders about whether she should still be friends with Wendy, considering she kind-of told off Kristy and is unreliable. Because having a friend who is late to stuff is BAD. If I dumped any friends who were not punctual, I'd have to get rid of a lot of friends. Jessi finally gets a hold of herself and realizes that not everyone is used to Kristy's iron fist of power, it isn't the end of the world if her friend isn't punctual and decides to talk to Wendy.

Jessi calls up Wendy, Wendy seems to have been fretting over the same stuff because she thinks Jessi hates her for quitting the BSC. The two clarify their feelings, Wendy says she just didn't fit in with the BSC, admits she doesn't like Kristy (but doesn't hate her...no please, tell us your true feelings about her) and they decide to stay friends. Well, at least as much as the BSC will let Jessi, since all non-BSC friends kind of fall to the wayside eventually. She even says Wendy would fit in great with the We <3 Kids Club. I don’t get why Wendy could have stayed on as an associate. She wouldn’t be required to be at every meeting and it would take some of the pressure off Logan and Shannon.

[synthient]

The Key to Understanding Deltarune: The Halloween Hack

So we’re currently in the middle of a 4000 year content hiatus

Which is unfortunate, because ever since the big iconic Halloween-day surprise demo drop, my brain has been rattling a baseball bat against the inside of my skull and chanting “CONTENT, CONTENT, CONTENT”

Undertale was like candy for the thematic analysis side of my brain. I still wake up in a cold sweat some nights going “fun value......he put a quantitative value on fun.....numbers going up.....”

I am desperate to know what kind of themes Deltarune is going to tackle. Can you effectively predict that from one (1) 3 hour demo? No. Does my brain care? No.

Which is what lead me to the wonderful world of intertextuality, or examining how a media text is shaped by other media texts

It started out with a kiss, how did it end up like this with me doing a playthrough of EarthBound, the video game that Toby has cited as his biggest inspiration for Undertale

That was fun & interesting (the “throwing away an emotionally engaging experience to grimly make Numbers Go Up” thing feels a lot closer to home after trying and failing to get the sword of kings), but it didn’t provide much insight into Deltarune, specifically. It wasn’t enough. I needed more. I was willing to dig into literally any intertext (except Homestuck, which no force on this earth can compel me to read :) )

anyway thats how I ended up playing Toby Fox’s high school fangame

And somehow (sorry Toby) I walked out of there with an unironic theory (a game theory....if you will....): Deltarune is Toby’s adult reexamination of the Halloween Hack.

What is the Halloween Hack?

You know that thing where, like, people take the engine of a Pokemon game and edit it so there’s a new region and a bunch of new fakemon, and also There’s Swears Now

In 2008, Toby Fox entered a contest on an EarthBound fansite for the best Halloween-themed EarthBound hack

In one sense, reducing the Halloween Hack to a “bad romhack with swears” is a little bit of a disservice. There are some glimmers in there of a really affecting, thought-provoking game, and you can see some of the early blueprints of what would later become Undertale (“do video game ‘monsters’ really deserve to die” is a major theme, and the character of Dr. Andonuts was effectively split up into Alpyhs, Asgore, and Sans)

But it’s also. very much a fangame made by a 16-year-old.

You can read a basic summary of the Hack here. High school-age Toby wrote two pretty extensive analyses of his thought process behind the game. I’ll be referring back to them a lot, and I’d highly suggest giving them a read--Toby’s been so famously resistant to making any Word of God statements about Undertale that it’s kind of fascinating to see him being so candid

an extremely long and rambling examination of How This All Relates To Deltarune

The Halloween Hack opens in the town of Halloween Twoson. Twoson is one of the cites in EarthBound, and here it’s been painted orange. and there’s pumpkins now

See, high school Toby had...a bit of a chip on his shoulder. In the Making Of notes, he explains that he was frustrated that “most people generally thought I was just ‘another funny guy’”. So he designed the opening of the game to seem unoriginally close to the original EarthBound--like “a regular, funny, lazy hack”--to lull players into a false sense of security before the horror elements set in.

Two interesting things there:

“Lazily, unoriginally close to the source game” sounds an awful lot like the Dark World segment of Deltarune

Halloween Twoson looks very visually similar to Hometown

Toby’s description of Twoson also sounds pretty Hometown-esque:

The main impressions of Twoson that I wanted to give the player were: It's funny. It's a nice fall day outside. The person hacking this game is ridiculously lazy. It's a nice place to live. If you look at it a little closely, it's kind of claustrophobic.  

And when does the horror kick in? When the player descends into the underground tunnels beneath the city.

The “horror” in the Halloween Hack is, however, Pretty Not Good.

There’s a whole lot of the flavor text narrator (put a pin in that one) insisting “this is so scary. you’re so scared. your hands shake and your head throbs because you’re so scared.” There’s also a thing where the battle text keeps going “the shambling zombie BITES your HEAD OFF!!! (you lose 15 hp).”

I think the True Lab sequence in Undertale is a decent demonstration that Toby’s come a long way since then (and that Honey We’ve Got A Storm Coming :’) ). But you know what the Hack’s style of horror reminds me of?

My first thought when I beat the demo and saw this stinger was “this looks like an intentionally shitty creepypasta.” Now I wonder if it’s lowkey adult Toby poking a little fun at teenage Toby

The Halloween Hack is a game about railroading. It’s Spec Ops The Line before there was Spec Ops The Line.

According to Toby:

The main theme of this game is the lack of choice. There is really no choice in this game. From the moment you start to the moment you finish, you're destined to kill Dr. Andonuts. There are two endings, but they both eventually end up the same way. It's all a big joke on the player.

You know why there isn't a choice there? Because you already chose to make Varik go into the door. You already chose to go forward. The only real choice, as Varik realizes at the end of the game, is to stop or keep going. By "stop" he means "turn off the game," and that's all you can do. Anything you play is your own fault for playing, and that's the only real choice you can make.

Interesting? Yeah. A little obnoxious? Also yeah.

That’s one of the criticisms people had of Spec Ops. "The atrocities we commit when we feel like we don’t have a choice” is an intriguing theme, but “~the only way to win is not to play~ [the game I worked hard on for the express purpose of people playing it]” isn’t a very satisfying conclusion.

Undertale, in direct contrast to the Hack, is all about choice. It earns the right to guilt you for the No Mercy Run by giving you every opportunity not to go through with it.

But even Undertale plays a little with the concept of railroading--you can’t stay with Toriel; you can’t spare Asgore in any of the neutral runs; you can’t save Asriel.

Now Deltarune seems to be returning full-on to the Hack’s “your choices don’t matter” premise. But it’s going to need to find something more insightful and satisfying to say about it.

Which makes me really curious about this:

If the Hack has a secondary theme besides railroading/lack of choice, it’s The Soul-Crushing Impact Of Internalized Homophobia.

The tragic antagonist, Dr. Andonuts, destroys his own life trying to repress his gay desire. He retreats into a dream world made of his neuroses and trauma, and he’s inevitably Otherized and murdered by the player. He’s something of a dark version of Alphys, who “disappears” into her lab without ever meeting and getting support from Frisk, Papyrus, and Undyne.

Undertale takes an opposite approach to its lgbt themes--the Underground is a utopia where homophobia and transphobia don’t exist. Everyone respects Frisk’s and Chara’s pronouns. Alphys finds solace and healing in her relationship with Undyne.

It’s a heartwarming growth from the despair in the Halloween Hack. And it’s a vision that’s been deeply meaningful to a lot of people. But that doesn’t mean that there’s no value in exploring issues of homophobia. 16-year-old Toby tried to do that, but...wasn’t exactly at a point where he was equipped to handle it with a ton of sensitivity and nuance.

(There’s. There’s a boss battle where you fight the physical manifestation of Andonuts’ gay repression. It’s a crotch. You fight a crotch.)

Some of the hints in the Deltarune demo, however--the Toriel Has Become Catholic thing; the fact that Alphys and Undyne haven’t met and Mettaton hasn’t been able to transition; the potential trans implications of choosing a name only to have it discarded for an assigned one (“you can’t choose who you are in this world”)--make me suspect that’s one of the themes that Toby will try to revisit from an adult perspective.

The Hack is interested in the idea of the flavor text narrator as a distinct, intelligent entity, whose thoughts and goals don’t always align with those of the player character or the player. 

The Hack’s narrator makes a habit of dictating “your” emotions to you (you’re scared; you can sense ‘the monster’ and you want to kill it; etc). The narration starts to seem more and more unreliable, until, as Toby put it, “The narrator starts talking to you personally...rambling about incoherent things.”

At the game’s turning point, you’re given a yes/no choice to kill Dr. Andonuts. Choose yes, and the narrator (mockingly?) calls you a good person, describes the murder you commit, and then narrates what appears to be your (or their? or Varik’s?) psychological breakdown. Choose no, and the narrator tells you that’s not a real choice and redirects you back to the yes/no box. If you press the b-button to try and opt out of the choice (the game’s unofficial subtitle is “Press the B-Button Stupid,” and doing so allows you to follow Andonuts into his dream world), the narrator starts to panic, although the game ultimately ends the same way.

Not to NarraChara Real, but NarraChara Real 

The Hack is also interested in the idea of the player character as a possibly-unwilling puppet controlled by the player (who in turn is controlled by the railroading/their need to beat the game).

According to Toby:  

 As you approach someone you've never met that you're labeling as a monster, your body pushes you forward to kill him. What's funny is that it's not even uncontrolled, it's really just the force of the player's controller pushing that little bounty hunter into murdering Andonuts. You might not realize it, but Varik is almost dead, and yet he can't stop moving because you keep pushing those buttons. 

The Halloween Hack is, fundamentally, a nostalgic meditation on an existing game.

It’s a little obvious to say, but the Hack isn’t a standalone game. It’s a hack of EarthBound.

Toby writes:

EarthBound dominated my childhood, shaped my preteen years, and played a large role in molding me into the offbeat pseudohippie I am today. It gave me a sense of humor. It helped me learn how to read. Its lessons served as a basis for my sense of justice and courage.

But at age 16, Toby’s feeling about the game that had shaped him were a little mixed. He describes “the staleness of a fifteen-year-old video game” as one of his motivations for making the Hack.

In Deltarune, he (kind of hilariously) has Alphys parrot his teen-self’s “staleness” line:

(I could write a whole meta just on the Mew Mew Kissy Cutie vs Mew Mew Kissy Cutie 2 thing)

Still, Toby’s nostalgia for EarthBound is essential to how the Hack operates. Earlier, I said there were glimmers of an thoughtful, affecting game buried in the “bad romhack with swears.” The most genuinely moving moment in the Hack, in my opinion, is the Onett sequence. 

You wander though a faded, dream world version of Onett--the hometown from EarthBound--while a slowed down arrangement of the Onett music plays. Snatches of forgotten conversations appear on road signs. Various monsters from EarthBound follow slowly behind you, but don’t attack. The only battles are against creatures called “Remember Me?”

The EarthBound characters appear to recognize “Varik” as Ness, EarthBound’s protagonist--or are they recognizing you, the player, as the same person who played EarthBound once upon a time?

The one problem, of course, is that not everyone has played EarthBound. It’s a relatively niche game. The sense of remembrance and regret and loss in the Onett sequence is universal, but being shaped as a person by the specific video game EarthBound isn’t a universal experience.

But in the years since the Hack, Toby has created something with a wider reach than EarthBound. Something that can evoke that sense of memory and nostalgia in players. A familiar game that he can take apart, rearrange, and examine in an entirely different light.

He made Undertale.

And now he’s rearranging the pieces into Deltarune.

[autoplaysdigimon]

Hey y'all, just wanted to post a quick update about what's happening.

So I've mentioned before the logistical problems I'm having with writing updates, but the individual games that I'm doing themselves have their own damn problems:

Dawn and Dusk are just so damn awkward to do both at once! There's no easy way to set up the two folders of images to be visible at the same time, the text is too small to read even on the largest folder size and I didn't necessarily do the same things at the same time for each game, making it extra difficult to sync up. (At least it's the only time I have to do two games at once NO WAIT IT ISN'T I get to do this twice more! One time with THREE GAMES AT ONCE!!! why do I do this to myself lmao)

Digimon World 2 has that weird mix up with the video order, and I can't figure out if the ones I need are missing or just in the wrong order or what the heck. Being that it's a game that I'm far less familiar with than, say, Digimon World 1 was, I'm having a lot of trouble figuring out exactly what is missing.

It doesn't help that both Digimon World 2 and Dawn/Dusk were games that dragged out for SO LONG near the end of my actually playing them (both my fault to be fair, DW2 I didn't get the hang of efficient DNA Digivolving and Dawn/Dusk I got carried away in leaving them to grind on the Farm Islands), so in my brain I've already spent far too long on them already. They're pretty sparse on actual content in the videos, a staple of the RPG genre, to be fair.

Even the anime is giving me trouble! The setup it requires disrupts my usual workspace - I have to change the TV away from the usual podcasts and let's plays that I usually have in the background of my working, which mucks up my layout with all the folders and everything, and I need to switch frequently between actively watching it and having background music on while I caption and write. Hell, having to go back and forth between the show and photoshop when I have to caption a long line is an ordeal in itself. Plus... and this is entirely an opinion based problem, but I get the same arc fatigue from the Dark Masters arc that I did from the two games. It's a great arc, I enjoy a lot of it, but I'm also sitting there going "okay that's great but be over soon! It's time for 02! It's so clooooose!!" I'm aware that this is very much a Me Problem. Also, if I don't go back to it at all, then Piximon will be fine forever! :(

Even the games I'm currently playing are being bastards! The one that I've already talked about in the previous post, which I referred to as Adventuring with Giant Lizards, is giving me serious end game fatigue also of my own doing as I finish up sidequests and the like. This isn't entirely arbitrary, I ended up having to do some major grinding anyway. I'm actually very close to being able to fight the final boss I think, so hopefully I can get that finished soon. I recently finished the game that will come after Monster Racers, lets call it Super Mafia Bros, but the sequel is giving me a hard time right now. Soooooo all of that to say that video games are making me sad.

Monster Racers is being good... for now. Once I get to the part where I had to grind a lot it'll be hell, but for now it's a dream. The fact that it's the only one that isn't giving me problems kinda sucks though. Like, one day out of seven the blog doesn't feel like a burden! Hooray?

I really can't keep leaving the games I'm posting for so long between updates, it means I spend half of the time I'm updating trying to figure out what has happened already and then not making any progress. But it's also very difficult to actually get into the headspace for it at the moment, as well. So I'm thinking two possible solutions, both of which I can use at once. One, I remove the obligation to post every day and the schedule from the header - I'm not posting daily anyway and the header looks terrible. Two, I shelve one of the two Digimon games, probably DW2, and come back to it later. When I finish the game that was meant to replace whichever of these two games finished first, I start posting that, and come back to the shelved game later. Part of me is wondering if I've just started to get sick of Digimon all the time! Maybe it'd be nice to have a detox of it for a while.

I did even wonder about doing a different show for a bit, even maybe one or two episodes of something not on the list. Contenders include the original 1965 series Get Smart, and that one episode of The Simpsons that I harvested screenshots from for that one post about Tim that I have on hand anyway. Get Smart would be kinda fun for a bit maybe, it's very repetitive so it'd get old after a while but it might be fun and it's very ripe for mockery, as well as being a huge shift away from Digimon. Plus I could turn on the subtitles and harvest those too, so I wouldn't have to caption it manually!

I mean.... I should probably talk about the elephant in the room, which is that the anime posts are the ones that people generally like more. I get a few new followers after the weekend posts, and maybe one or two occasionally during the week. If I were desperate for followers, I'd switch to mainly anime posts and have the games be a side thing... but the games are the fun part for me, so I'm not gonna do that. Sorry to anyone who followed for the anime posts! (ALSO I recently passed 300 followers so yay! Thanks! Sorry there's been no fucking content!)

Oh, as long as I'm talking schedules and future games, I should mention another game on the list. I've already told at least one person this anyway, so might as well. Wayyyy down on the list is Undertale. Of course I would. But not for a long-ass time, so hey. There's another (indie) game that I have on the list that is supposed to get a major update later this year, so I've recorded a whole bunch of what it looks like now so that I can do some comparisons when I get to that one, but that thing is even further down the list than Undertale is, so uh. Don't wait up for that one for a while.

Alright, so that was good to get off my chest. Don't get me wrong, I still love doing this and I love you all and I'm not planning on quitting this dumbass hobby of mine any time soon. You all must suffer with me. But it's a lot of effort at the best of times and it's nice to vent sometimes, especially if I think I'm gonna change some things. Thanks guys! :D