#sorry i did a horrors again

[frogenthusiastt]

19/sea change for prompt meme?

19. Sea change (totally read this as sea of change because i couldnt think of a single thing to match this prompt lol sorry)

The first lesson Nicholas is taught is loneliness.

At 8 years old he's long since learnt that he lacks the cherubic qualities required to be granted adoption by a rich, childless couple. He looks poor and desolate, sure, but not in the way that makes adults want to swoop him up into a blanket and coo over his poor fate. He wears the kind of thousand yard stare that makes them avert their eyes in discomfort, that reminds them of the casualties of poverty in the entirely wrong way.

Still, he has Livio trailing after his steps like a lost puppy. Together they learn how to live like weeds growing in the cracks of pavement, how to be alone together. It's a lesson to be learnt, for sure, how to keep the lights on in the dark.

The second lesson he learns is shame.

Mask clad adults, clapping and telling him welcome child, to the path of God. They pat him on his back and ruffle his hair, all gloved impersonal hands.

The Eye of Michael teach him how to chant the psalms, how to recount his sins and that salvation lies in abandonment of your body and acquiescence of pain. He's taught the vital points of the body and how to gouge knives in the hearts of men, as by one man sin entered into the world, and death by sin; and so death passed upon all men, for that all have sinned. His body grows and grows into a holy weapon, and he learns how to kill a man without flinching. This is a terrible lesson.

The third lesson is pain.

Nicholas has known pain before, like a distant uncle. Now pain is his mother and father, his creation and Eucharist. Once he'd proven his body a worthy tool before Chapel and the acolytes, they take him apart into his base components and Unmake him into something inhuman. Terrible liquids seep into his body through needles and plastic tubes, for this is the Blood of the Covenant and through it thou shalt be made Holy. His flesh is carved and replaced, for Holy is the body of Christ and through it thou shalt be made perfect and free from Sin.

When he is lucky, they sedate him and the world becomes a technicolor kaleidoscope of visions to keep his thoughts occupied. He doesn't know if it's on purpose or just an accidental side effect of whatever chemicals they put in him but he takes it gratefully, thankful for just a moment to breathe throughout the nightmare of hurt.

He never learns what exactly they did to him, but when he's finally released from that terrible white room, he looks in the mirror and finds something other staring back. It takes years for him to recognize it as his face.

The fourth lesson is in efficiency.

Whatever it was they took out of him left an empty hole in his mind. Wherever regret or empathy used to be, only survival remains. Survival means to submit to the hand that's fed him, to take whatever chances given for a paycheck and the lives of the orphanage secured. He doesn't remember the faces of the people he kills, nor their pleas for mercy. He's a cold outer shell in the shape of a man, and so he becomes the employee of the month, of the year, of the decade.

The twist of a tendon, the flick of a wrist to sever flesh from bone, even the stab of a knitting needle through the head to save him the hassle of cleanup. These are the ways he earns a living, and he's damn good at his job. He steels himself against terror and lets the fear of fire and brimstone flow around him and through him like the hull of a sandsteamer, no worse for wear after he's crossed the sands of a thousand bodies piled underneath his feet. He becomes what he's been made to be, finds meaning in his function and keeps the lights on for the children at home. He's efficient, he's good at his job and that's all that counts.

His fifth and final lesson hits him with a truck. He walks in a daze, only half put upon to garner sympathy, and when he lies there bloody and disheveled hope walks out the side door of the car.

It is the most terrible lesson of all, the way the man calls him by name and looks through him like there is any softness in his body worth that blinding smile. Hope tells him that he's something worth salvation, wearing impossible blue eyes and the face of his brother. Nothing Wolfwood has ever been taught prepares him for this unwavering belief in goodness, the warm caress of a mismatched hands against his cheeks, the way he utters his name like it's something precious.

Hope finds him late at night, in soft touches and a hushed voice. Hope foolishly makes him stay in the morning when sunlight paints the white sheets wrapped around a body incandescent and flaxen hair golden. Hope puts his lips against lips, hands against hands, in desperate prayer to keep this one soft thing safe. Hope lights a fire against his will, forces his to look at his life with kinder eyes and wish for another day to come, and Wolfwood has asked for exactly none of it.

Hope laughs at his jokes and whines at his teasing and holds him trembling at night. If he was half the weapon he was made, he would cast it off and escape into the wasteland. It turns out the hands that fed him did a piss poor job of it, because he stays and stays and stays.

It is hope that has him rage at the dying of the light, knees bent in penance against the cold stone floor of the church. Blood splatters against it in a fearful rhythm, body contorted to support himself against the heavy weight of the cross. Still he rages, still he hopes, still he curses the God that made his fate. That he would learn his final lesson, as he lay here dying, must be some terrible cosmic joke from an uncaring creator.

As Wolfwood stills, he takes hope with him. It's the cruelest lesson of all.

[chloesimaginationthings]

Horrifying being beyond my comprehension just saying “no???” Is absolutely hilarious

IM GLAD YALL FOUND IT FUNNY TOO, cause drawing this killed me 💀

[artuurle]

more doodles of this thing that haunts my brain and his boyfriend

More doodles centered around pre-godhood shenanigans under cut to keep post short for the sanity of others lol

tha legally mandated Only 1 bed trope ...

getting the old uniform out!

annnnd the obilgatory sad bonus U u U

[waywardlampcookieturkey]

The one thing I still haven't seen anyone talking about when mentioning Xie Lian's gigantic statue that Hua Cheng carved when he was inside the kiln is that... Well, He Xuan also went into the kiln... years after Hua Cheng came out I'm pretty sure... Do you see where I'm going with this????

[wickjump]

ok seriously though whoever the hell that anon is like seriously stop. i did not think? i had to say this?? but maybe don’t bring up my sexual trauma in my inbox and use that to psychoanalyze me??? because of the genre i write???? i promise you the skeleton does not care. i promise you this so hard. nobody is being traumatized or offended by this. especially not the character. i promise you cross is not offended or hurt or upset and neither is jakei. i am writing horror because it is a genre i enjoy. you have no need to pry into my personal life to ‘figure me out’ and convince me to stop writing in a very popular genre because it is weird to you or makes you uncomfortable. what makes me uncomfortable is when you try to insert yourself and act holier than thou. you are not better than me because you view the very popular genre i like as morally wrong you’re just a dick

[thegreatyin]

this nemesis ambition started out a little slow but I am getting closer to finding that bastard who killed my wife, and I’ll not rest a minute now that im far closer to on his trail

sorry got in character for a second

Anyways fun ambition so far very fucked up though

congratulations on joining the murder club anon!!!! depending on who you ask the name refers to either people who have murdered or people who have witnessed murder. usually both. actually extremely often both. it's a swell time you'll feel right at home (don't mind our collective skyglass knife collection in the back)

[85-rend]

Fifty-Six silly and fucked up moments. i love this freak so much guys you have no idea

[purple-st4rz-556]

I keep forgetting to be active here whoops....anyways it's Gorillaz Phase 1 OMG!!!!

OMFG I JSUT RELIZED THAT I DREW THE THUMB FACIND THE WROGN DIRECTION 💀💀💀

[bobzora]

school is making me miserable so here's a doodle sheet of akechi truths. hope this helps

[dailykugisaki]

Day 274 | id in alt

I like to think Gojo has the strongest mentality so far up his ass it pisses Kugisaki off because, DUDE. SHE FUCKING GETS IT. BE QUIET. He's emo but a different color.

[sammygender]

also im going to be so real i still have not come around to loustat endgame even though i KNOW it will be loustat endgame. i only like lestat in connection to louis but the thing is i like louis too much to want him in connection with lestat. ‘yet you regularly read loumand fic’ um well im sorry that i just find their failmarriage more compelling. i dont even know why (the way fans talk abt loustat reminds me of sam and dean and i refuse to touch that again…..the way some fans talk about loumand reminds me of like maybe tom and shiv or something?? and people were still really annoying and stupid about tomshiv sometimes, but, like, dean winchester wasnt there.) ‘they weren’t in love’ i don’t care…. i don’t believe in ‘love’ the way loustat romanticisers mean it anyway…. plus that just makes it more interesting….. ‘louis deserves better’ louis ALWAYS deserves better😒😒😒better than armand and especially better than that blonde man. except for with claudia. with claudia CLAUDIA deserves better always and forever. amen.

[ratatatastic]

happy dumb ekky penalty of the day. on this episode of puck over glass. in a tied game. where said tied goal was a ppg. can you tell he also thought it was quite dumb of him to do too? can you? can his screams of agony move you to come to that conclusion as well?

its the "are they gonna call it please dont call it god they have to call it but do they have to? do they really? just because multiple men shouted OUT and pointed at the puck as it flew out doesnt mean they have to call" of it all before yes they do it call it ekky of course they do get your ass to the dumb idiot box

new york rangers @ florida panthers | 12.30.24

[alonetogether]

i mean this genuinely i think experiencing tourdust/2ourdust live with you all replicates the feeling i got when i found out fob were ending their hiatus. and i get to feel that like every night. fob forever <3

[there-will-be-a-way]

05. September - Bathtub Girl

A lot of different triggers that I need to process and document.

I had very graphic nightmares last night. It started with me having to get married to my sister - which was so wrong. Then I dreamed of him. Being kept in a small, dark room. Being abused and something about the bathtub girl too.

Then, later today, I accompanied my roommate to the hospital. On our way there, during the bus ride, we had a conversation that reminded me of the bathtub girl too. I felt like crying. I was so close to having a full blown PTSD panic attack in the bus but managed to keep my calm. It made it feel like what I remember is real. At least it affects me.

Then later in the evening I watched a movie with my other roommate. Something about it triggered me too. The way the wallpaper looked in this hotel room. The dead people that were shown in the bathtub. I felt like I got so close to remembering the missing puzzle pieces. I felt scared I would have one of these bad movie like flashbacks that make me scream and cry in fear. I had to repeat to myself, I am safe. It is 2024. I am with R. and he is a safe person to be around. I am in his room. It is 2024. I am safe.

Then I went outside to smoke my last cigarette of the day and when I looked at the stars in the darkness, I was suddenly on that street again. In front of his house and I saw her face again. For a second. I saw it so clearly. When I went to my room again, I had to chant I am safe. I am safe. It is 2024. I am safe.

I'm scared to go to bed tonight. Scared of sleeping, scared of the dark. Scared of having nightmares, of having flashbacks. Scared of the missing puzzle pieces and of seeing her again. Of all of my memories, I fear her the most. I fear what he did to her, what he was capable of. I fear what he forced me to watch. And that he is still out there, that she is still out there and no one knows what was done to her. That no one ever found her.

[deus-ex-mona]

the references to them in mona’s photobook q&a means e v e r y t h i n g to me