#sorry for. how long and nonsensical this is

[drowsycreation]

They’re done!! This took sooo long but I’m quite happy with most of them (Heket will always be subject to change because I can’t consistently draw her. Toads are so goofy) Now I get to rant about them all 👹 For starters, in our AUs, Vaedra and/or Shamura all found the other bishops as infant gods and raised them. (I’ll make something in the near future on how our gods age). Keep this in mind :] I’ll try to break this up so it’s not jambled nonsense.

Leshy:

He’s the youngest of his siblings and was a gift to Vaedra from Shamura, Shamura found him “acting strange” and believed he wouldn’t survive on his own (which was correct).

Leshy is somewhat of a high functioning autistic.

A hybrid between a Centipede and a Dagger moth, which ended up the reason he never turned into a moth/butterfly. While sharing characteristics of both in the beginning, through godhood the result was . . . His own thing.

He often acts oblivious to things, especially when it comes to what is wrong with the family.

His connection with Vaedra is deeper than his other siblings, given Vaedra is his favorite person (and essentially his “mother”)

Mortality

Rather then the Yellow Cat scenario (I’m sorry Yellow Cat x Leshy fans) he ends up with a Gecko named Tabee.

He does a majority of the farm work due to his deep connections with plants.

He showed up violent and scared. One of the least problematic injury wise.

Heket

She was caught in a dried up stream after a storm and found as a tadpole. She ended up the most independent of the group, often hanging out with Narinder (they were partners in crime)

Species is an American Red Toad.

Definitely a Lesbian.

Almost always high. 😫

Her injuries ended up resulting in her being almost fully mute.

Mortality

She’s usually a chef, but if requested will help in the lumber yards since she’s strong as hell.

Ended up dating a small deaf frog named Lilo.

Showed up dying and choking on her own blood. She ended up bed bound for a long time.

Narinder

Narinder was found in a rotting mortal cult as an infant, his powers came in the soonest as he basically radiated with death. This meant Shamura had to raise him alone (Vaedra was once a mortal turned disciple), therefore had the closest bond with him.

His species is a Jaguar, since I didn’t like that he was a basic house cat in the games, and he is the biggest of the bishops.

While his actions were out of greed and misery (He was often left out in things, and lacked any sort of real following) he later regrets his actions. He’d never admit it though.

Mortality

He became a disciple for the lamb after growing quite close to them, so much so he was one of the first of his siblings to have children of his own.

He stays away from his siblings, for the most part.

He showed up to the cult dying, since he had injuries from his imprisonment. . And the lambs beating.

Kallamar

Now this one I can go on and on about. Kallamar was found beached after getting caught in a bad current too close to the surface. They were in rough shape, so Vaedra nursed him back to health.

Kallamar is trans masc. He was born a female, and while this man basically acts like a drag queen, he felt the most comfortable transitioning.

Species is just a squid. I never got into what kind of squid, I always had Giant Squids in mind, but it was never really a set thing.

He actually does have a beak! Since his mouth was so weird, I figured he’d have room for a double mouth situation, almost like eels.

After the incident with Narinder, Kallamar was seen more as selfish by his siblings, and overall neglected and forgotten. He was the least harmed physically, but the most harmed mentally. It resulted in many scars, and going into near permanent hiding.

Mortality

Works in the refinery and helps at the medic den, but he’d rather not work at all.

Marries two sharks, Jaha and Samoa. They helped build his self esteem back after it was at its lowest.

Like the game he showed up to the cult sickly. But he also had balance issues, headaches, future swimmers ear issues, and his body got updated to the newest model 💀💀

Shamura

Shamura was raised by the “Angels” (mystic sellers) to be a warrior, and that he was. However it was cut short when he met Vaedra. (More on this in the future, in fact Melonnnistic is doing comics on it 😉)

A Purple Pinktoe Tarantula. Shamura was born female but chose They/Them & He/Him pronouns.

Sugar cookie addict. :| You’ll always find a cookie jar somewhere in his living space.

He knew of their downfall, for a long time. It was his guilt for a while, knowing so much and unable to share it without causing mass panic. When Narinders incident did finally happen, they fell into a depressed spiral. What they became was a selfish hollow of their sweet, nervous, and thoughtful self.

Shamura’s plan was always that Narinder would get a lamb vessel, and would put them all to “rest”. It always was. They knew killing the lambs would speed up the process, and only ever put a fight for their siblings cause, not their own.

Mortality

Their injuries became significantly worse, leaving them bound to a single room in the medic for a long time. When they weren’t stuck in bed, they were depressive, aggressive, or confused. Nothing was left of them for a long time, not until the lamb healed them.

Sweet and old, usually with a cane.

An elder, so he doesn’t usually work. But he will make clothes on occasion.

Lost his centaur body :[ much like Kallamar. It’s impractical for followers.

OKAY OKAY I’M DONE I don’t want to rant too much, cause there’s so so much for the #sanctioncotlau. It also changes pretty drastically for our modern au, that we’ll get into another day. I want to leave a lot of information out for room for comics, doodles, and questions. Always, me and my gf @melonnnistic share our aus, so feel free to check them out! They’re making comics for Vaedra and Shamura currently, that’ll HOPEFULLY see the light of day. Feel free to ask any questions! I know all the info is kinda bland. 😫😫

[cccakessslicemeee]

Thoughts on nonsense that don't matter

Spoilers for fantasy high and also just fae bullshit in general

----

Riz, the goblin king

Adine, the elven oracle

Both of which are insane titles/ positions to hold

Riz is told repeatedly to find a suiter and Adine gets gentle reminders since she has no problem telling the high elves to fuck off

Shit for the goblins is pretty rough. Riz is having a time trying to get the goblins from the fae wilds to accept and maybe stop being afraid of the written word? Its a whole thing. There are and have been massive book burns because all literature is bad and wrong. Riz really wants to put up schools and better goblin kind on a whole but the old beliefs and traditions are stubborn and convincing the elders to adopt new ideas is just.. a rock and a hard place especially since he wants to do it diplomatic

Anyway he's having a time

Adine wants to make it so the unseelie court and the elves stop beefing with the goblins. Its a whole thing.

Adine and Riz have a lavender wedding but it's strictly political/platonic and at first the high elves are pissed. How dare our Oracle attach herself to such a creature.

Riz and Adine jokingly start referring to one another as 'My beloved husband' or ' my darling wife' and ironically it's healthy because their marriage is just a cover and their friendship is pretty solid to begin with.

Plus like the whole matter of the 'sex' thing if it should even arise it's not uncommon for a king or a queen to have consorts or concubines or whatever. I like to imagine the goblin kings in the past were nasty bastards and it wouldn't be uncommon for people to assume Riz has half an army of concubines to pull from and Adine is the elven oracle so of course she's getting formal asks? Request? Whatever the official wording is she's getting letters where high elves are throwing themselves at her feet. Joy.

I like to imagine that the courts believe that they have a genuine romance (which is fucking sad because just being nice to the people around you shouldn't be a clear indicator of romantic love but apparently it is) because like they would be nice to one another and get each other food and drink and just check in at social events to be like all is well? I think at first while navigating the courts and the parties and just the fancy bullshit they cling to one another because they are the only ones they know at these things. Plus like they already DO love one another it's just not the typical romance. They absolutely do care about one another's well being so they arnt lying about that. Also like they would absolutely get teased over how 'they are taking their time to make an heir' and absolutely asked a shit ton of invasive questions.

"Mmmm yes oracle, I hear goblins are quite nasty while dancing in the bedroom but it seems as though you made it off your back alright."

Adine is horrified and pissed.

"I heard it was pretty rude to ask someone about their sex life, at a party with thirty other guests. You know if you're so interested in the sex life of goblins maybe you could, I dunno go flirt with one? Just a suggestion."

-----

Anyway waaaay after things settle Fabian comes to visit and he and Riz don't talk about what they have. But Fabian must see The Ball it's been far, far too long.

Adine absolutely playing match maker. Telling Fabian he should scale the wall and climb in through the window because she read it in a book once and it seemed very cute. It's not cute actually Riz gets spooked and blasts a hole in Fabians shoulder and he falls to his death. Fabian is so mad when he comes back. Riz is very apologetic but also like scolding Fabian for CLIMBING THROUGH HIS WINDOW!

Fabians is all like SHE TOLD ME TO

Adine shrugs. "Hindsight is fifty fifty I'm sorry."

Riz wants to know why she thought it was a good idea to even suggest this

Maybe this blows out of proportion and a rumor starts in the courts with the goblin king having a sexual appetite for elves or a secret lover. It absolutely blows the fuck up.

Maybe it's a lil joke between Adine and Fabian where he comes to visit and she's like 'ah how horrible. You've returned again to steal my husband. How can I ever compete.'

And Fabian has a dramatic monologue "Haha yes It is I FABIAN SEACASTER HERE TO WISK AWAY YOUR HUSBAND HAHA."

Riz hates it. It's so dumb but he'll play along. "Oh nooooo I'm being whisked away. Drat. How dreadful. Woe is me." And Fabian yoinks him up and they scamper away to the next room to have tea or whatever.

Fabian absolutely, out of spite masters the art of scaling walls and climbing into that window. It's so dramatic how could he not? It's adventurous.

Riz hates that but whatever. He hovers over the window while Fabian climbs and sweats the entire time as he goes worried he's gonna fall again. He doesn't. Gosh Riz always such a worry wart. It's way less dramatic when he does that.

I wanna ramble more but ugh I gotta sleep

[magic-f3tus]

(I'm gonna be one of the first ever requests here>:33(just found u,dunno yo first acc lmao-))

So, u write for Crk? Fantastic, cus I'm currently have a obsession season with emo Vanilla- I mean Truthless Recluse:3

He's emo, so I just got a small idea: reader being Shadow milk's little sibling, so they got some of the silly from their brother; jester brother? We got a magician sibling>:). Like, love doing little card tricks for Truthless to watch (he just peak. A bit.), following him like a clingy little kitty, floating around poking him, trying to get some reaction out of this emo face, stealing his hat; but does he mind? Yes... (Nah, he doesn't, just doesn't show that he enjoys it, being your bodyguard to stop your risky tricks). But at April fools this year, they decided to annoy him in another way; chatting with Black Sapphire, have tea parties with Candy Apple, goofing around with her brother, COMPLETELY ignoring our little healer, so, what will he do? Let your imagination with the fic explore, I'll wait>:33

(sorry if it's long, and take care too, wish you the best luck)

(I wonder what Arcana game did you mentioned? I just know Arcana Twilight-)

-🫐☕

Ngl this is a fun idea.

Also the Arcana game I'm referring to is called The Arcana : A Mystic Romance and it's made by Nix Hydra.

It's so worth it to check out and my fav character is Asra

Is Arcana Twilight good btw? I heard of it but haven't checked it out yet.

The Sibling of Deceit

And their companion with the big hat !

Shadow Milk Cookie has a younger sibling and they oh so love to trail behind the newest addition to the Spire! How fun! Always poking and prodding, showing him their newest tricks and treats and all that jazz. Though they are feeling extra mischievous today and who other to target than their favourite companion !

And they know just what to do...

Truthless Recluse felt that something was amiss when his eyes opened from his slumber. The Spire was too silent for his comfort.

The usual feel of mischief nowhere to be seen. He stood up from the bed that he rested on, picking up his staff as he searched for his hat.

His hat was missing? Hah he knew that they would do something like this! Ignoring the happiness that he felt.

So what do they want him to chase for his hat?

Absolutely not!

He'll leave this room without it the- his hat had fallen by his bedside. The externally stoic cookie was now looking slightly flustered.

Maybe he was wrong...

Nevertheless, his peace was still disturbed. No attempts to steal his hat, poke and prod his attire, convince him to partake in nonsensical stunts.

It was completely silent. He wandered the Spire in complete solidarity, the lack of interaction was getting to him and he was tense, hoping that something might occur or a prank be pulled.

Cause he was very convinced that this was an elaborate plan. How else would you explain that the cookie would trail him upon sight cease to do so. Just like that??

As he continued his steps through the place, a familiar voice was heard chattering away.

Like the uninterested cookie he is, he follows that voice.

"Oh! Candy Apple darling, this sweet tea is simply splendid!"

There you were sitting on a comically small chair made for Candy Apple Cookie. Giggling and laughing with her. For a brief moment your eyes met before you got up and excused yourself.

With that he concluded that this was a deliberately meant for him and he wouldn't fall for such blatant trickery. He turned around walking away though where he doesn't know but maybe hoping that he would hear your voice again.

After a while he encounters Black Sapphire, the cookie giving him cordial greetings and in the distance he sees you again. This time you were conversing with Shadow Milk Cookie. The Beast laughed at something you said, he wasn't able to hear from where he was.

Though mildly frustrated his steps moved unconsciously towards you and you along with Shadow Milk seemed to take notice as the latter patted you on the shoulder and disappeared.

This time you didn't disappear and even if you wanted to he grabbed you before you could.

You shot him a clueless look. "Is something the matter Truthless?"

The face he made at your question was utterly priceless. The furrow of his eyebrows, eyes widening, mouth aghast and head in this judgemental turn.

Until he regained composure much to your dismay. "Nothing seems to be the matter. Why do you inquire?"

It took your whole baked body to resist laughing and he looked exasperated.

"Oh no you look quite flummoxed"

Truthless Recluse felt that something was amiss, and something was definitely amiss.

"Oh really, I wasn't aware."

That broke the camels back for you, erupting in continuous laughter while he only looked more exasperated.

"Just so you are aware, this whole thing wasn't humorous one bit."

"Oh it definitely was you just aren't funny enough."

You shot him a grin while he turned around and walked away not wanting to deal with you. Floating alongside him you plucked his hat from his head and placed it on your own.

"Soooo you missed me?"

"Why would I?"

"OH COME ONNNN. You so missed me."

And this time he shot you a grin.

"Nothing you can prove."

>> As I was writing this I realised that I write so much angst that I forgot how to funny.

[thetrashthatsmilesback]

Tbh I don't think anyone is asking for Dick to be in Kory's show - it's about what happened to her after leaving Tamaran. Dick has no place in the time of her life as a slave for the Citadel.

While I understand the frustration, a lot of dickkory pushing is also to counteract misinformation about how they broke up. I still see people saying that Kory blamed Dick for being raped my Miriam to this day, pushed mostly in batfam fics.

No one is saying that you can't ship dickbabs, but pointing out that Barbara was de-aged for the ship, and that Kory and Dick were broken up in a way which was nonsensical is not "hate" for your ship. Dickbabs WAS shoved down fans throats - Barbara was deaged, and dickkory was so set in stone that there were comics published after they had been broken up referring to Kory as Dick's wife.

I'm sorry if you feel Koriand'r and dickkory is shoved down your throat (tbh as a Kory fan i wish more people would talk about her without Dick, so dickkory poses an issue for me as well despite how much I love them), but the demands that dickkory be recognized is because of how dc has treated the titans overall for years.

In the n52 timeline, it wasn't even clear for a long time if the titans had ever existed. DC's biggest competitor to the X-Men, and they were just gone. Vanished. Rarely mentioned. Rhato also destroyed Kory's relationships with all the titans (yes, including Roy's). Its one of the few proper mentions of the Titans that we got, and it was used to say that Kory didn't remember Dick, Gar, anyone. Roy had his status as a Titan ripped from him, and that might have been a kinder fate than what they did to Kory's connection to the Titans - a connection which is impossible to separate from Dick. To this day, some batfam only fans still ship Kory and Jason. Its as if 2 decades of DC history no longer exist. Even after they broke up, Dick and Kory still deeply loved each other and tell each other that almost every time they interact. To separate Kory from even her friendship with Dick is to separate her from decades of her history.

It also cannot be overstated how much dickkory were THE titans relationship. Sure Roy and Donna knew each other longer, Donna and Terry were literally married (then divorced), Garth and Tula are important to Aquaman history, and Wally basically can't live without Linda, but Dick and Kory are the most iconic dc couple from the 80s. They rival Clark and Lois in terms of DC comic couples that even non-comic fans know of (aided by the 2003 show). If there is a Titans reference made in something, then dickkory SHOULD show up even in a way as small as them being drawn holding hands. Dick and Kory's arcs are so intertwined in the NTT comics that to even try and discuss their character arcs independently, you are going to have to mention the ship.

Its not forcing the ship into everything, it's acknowledging the long history of the Titans as a team.

I definitely recommend blocking the dickkory tags if this is something you've been struggling with. Titans fans in general are great at tagging because we are used to non-titans characters ending up in our tags. We're used to tt03 animated stuff ending up in the comics tags and vice versa. It will make things a lot easier for you as a dickbabs shipper to simply block those forcing dickkory onto dickbabs posts and to blacklist the dickkory tags.

Let's all be honest, ships are the least interesting parts of comics, so let's all try to keep arguments over something so inconsequential to a minimum (and this goes for both sides - us dickkory shippers, and dickbabs shippers)

Edit: my phone changed Lois to Louis

Some Dickkory shippers wonder why some people hate on their ship but then try to shove starfire and ask where she is in any content ever. AND even whine about dc shoving Dickbabs in everything?

There's gonna be a titans movie? "dickkory HAVE to be there!"

We know in the movies and titans media dick and star are always a thing, why are you so worried and demanding or threatening...

There's gonna be a starfire serie? "Dick HAS to be there!"

There's a nightwing fanfiction or edit? "now add starfire in it!"

There's a new titans cover? "they have to be close in it!"

i get it you want to see your ship, don't whine about dc shoving Dickbabs down our throats if you're doing the same. One can't enjoy a video or make something about nightwing without someone demanding starfire in it.

[moodr1ng]

like prev post is one example i happen to be talking about for once but ig what i mean is like. every little small inconsequential thing that my mind could turn into "you look suspicious right now", that i could possibly suspect means someone thinks poorly of me (w no evidence of that whatsoever), that i can possibly twist into somehow being about how Everyone Secretly Hates Me And Thinks Im A Liar And A Fraud, i will. the most minor things. every day of my life. i am plagued by a constant fear that everyone thinks im always lying, that everyone is always suspecting me of Something, all the time.

every time i go to the pharmacy to pick up my completely normal mental health medications i think "the pharmacist thinks im a malingerer whos faking mental illness to try and get drugs". when they ask "thats two boxes right?" im terrified of saying "yes", even though yeah, my prescription is for two boxes of these meds, bc if i say "yes, give me two boxes and not one", its gonna be confirmation that im a liar whos just trying to get more meds. even though thats. literally just what im prescribed.

its like that about everything. i have to overperform truthfulness at all times, because just knowing im telling the truth isnt enough, i also have to convince everyone else that im telling the truth, all the time, because Everyone Always Thinks Im A Liar in my mind. if i, like, tell a friend on discord "going to bed now!" and then while getting ready for bed i make one last post on tumblr like 5 minutes later i think "my friend is gonna see this and think i lied about going to bed and that i was trying to avoid them on purpose because im a bad friend". if i tell someone about a condition i have i assume they doubt i actually have it and think im lying for attention. if i tell people im bigender and they react with total acceptance i think "theyre actually thinking im obviously just a binary man who is lying about being bigender so i can intrude upon women in some way, but they cant say it bc they dont want to look transphobic". if i tell people about abuse i suffered as a child and they react with horror and compassion i think "theyre thinking im making it up or exaggerating so i can get pity, theyre just forced to pretend they believe me to not be rude". if im having a mental health episode and someone is concerned about my well being i think "they think im doing this on purpose and putting on a show to force them to take care of me". and if i try to tell my therapist about symptoms im experiencing i think "he thinks literally everything i say about my mental health is a lie i tell so i can get on disability and get meds, so i have to hide part of my symptoms from him because the less i tell the less suspicious i am". i literally cant discuss this very belief w my therapist because i am convinced that if i told him "im constantly terrified that everyone, including you, thinks im lying about everything so i can get attention or some other benefit" he would think "ah, my liar patient is claiming that hes afraid of being seen as a liar to throw me off his scent. this is actually more proof that hes lying, hes laying down the precedent that hes not a liar in order to cover further lies".

all the time. all the time. and i cant make it stop. and i cant talk about it because i think anyone i tell about this is going to think "ah, yes, The Liar is insisting shes not a liar, which only a liar would do". i literally think anyone reading this very post is going to think "youre talking about this too much, youre trying too hard to come off as truthful, obviously youre trying to cover up your lies, in fact this very post proves you do lie about being mentally ill and abused and you lie to your therapist to get drugs and you probably stole that girls bonnet too, everything you say you didnt do is just a preemptive cover for having done it".

but well. if i keep refusing to talk about it im only feeding it. because the more i avoid talking about it to not trigger it, the more i reinforce the idea that "if i talk about it, everyone will turn against me" as legitimate. so, whatever, i guess. im just very tired, you know. i wish it would stop sometimes. i wish i could trust that anyone regards me in good faith. i think it also sucks of me to assume the worst out of everyone like this - to just think everyone is out to get me or always regarding me in the worst possible light. idk. i just wish i could make it stop. ill make an effort to finally tell my therapist tomorrow. but idk if ill have the guts yet.

[notbecauseofvictories]

it's so interesting talking to and around my father, because personality-wise we are extremely similar (so much so that sometimes I'll say things, then my mother will go quiet and respond...you know, you sounded just like your father) but I grew up as a woman, and he grew up as a man, and that does that make an appreciable difference.

[thelassoway]

Jason Sudeikis as Ted Lasso Season 3 » Casual Sweaters/Jumpers

[spookythesillyfella]

"This crying voice of mine is so annoying // I suppress the emotion // Break the egg, make it a mess // Fry it, roll it // Look, I've stopped crying"

★ alt verzionz under cut :

★ song : "For you An Empty Shell" – Dobu no Awa

[clownhonkbonk]

something something... vampires.

zaya uthman, vampire hunter, nim thunderstruck, the polite vampire.

characters belong to @apleye from their awesome sauce comic!! go read. super good.

[bittersweetresilience]

adrien often being referred to in fanon as “sunshine” and the sun and something about Felix having Moon symbolism. is this anything sunny?

sentitwin sun moon symbolism is absolutely ridiculous. i have thought about it before but never gotten anywhere. this time i consulted @ninadove about it and rotated it in my mind for many hours and i am still not sure about my verdict. therefore i'm just going to ramble a bit and then pass it over to nina. birthday teamwork!

i started out agreeing with the assignment of adrien as the sun and félix as the moon.

their personalities seem to fit the vibes. moreover, it ties into yin and yang.

adrien's miraculous is placed on the yang half of the miracle box, and ladybug's on the yin. his hair is parted to the right, which is the direction of yang, while félix's and ladybug's are parted to the left, yin.

a brief tangent here: even though the placement in the miracle box and adrien and marinette's civilian selves with their white and black outer garments respectively seem to indicate yang and yin, when they become heroes, they swap entirely. ladybug wears red, yang, and chat noir wears black, yin. their powers of creation and destruction are also yang and yin. my theory is that not only are adrien and marinette meant to be halves of a whole as partners, but their hero selves are also meant to halves of a whole with their civilian selves. yin and yang symbolism all around.

back to adrien as sunshine. before félix was introduced, adrien was established as the character in the show with the disney princess golden hair and golden smile, so it's easy to see where this fanon came from.

marinette describes her love for him as three suns in her heart.

then if we want to pair the sentitwins, and we think adrien is the sun, it makes sense for félix to be the moon.

some final evidence in support of this is mirror imagery. the same way the moon reflects the light of the sun, félix reflects adrien. both in his creation as a reflection of adrien's and in his behavior in the show. félix dresses as adrien in over half of his episodes.

but this picture is complicated by several factors. there's a fair amount of evidence that the twins are actually associated the other way around, with adrien as the moon and félix as the sun.

gold and silver color symbolism. one could easily think of gold as the sun and silver as the moon, but in the show, félix and the graham de vanilys are associated with gold and adrien and the agrestes are associated with silver. the wedding rings, the colors of their homes, their camouflaged miraculous, the lighting... anarchist gang talked about this a few months ago and i think nina may want to expand on what we discovered, so i will leave this to her.

another brief tangent here: white and black color symbolism. i have not fleshed out my thoughts on it but i am leaving notes here for future reference. adrien's civilian outfit features white, but this likely reflects gabriel's influence on him. his hero selves wear black. meanwhile, félix is introduced dressed in black and haloed in white as he enters gabriel's sphere. in the play, it's the opposite. at the diamonds' dance, he and marinette wear white and kagami, like lune rouge, wears red. obfuscation? femininity? yin and yang again?

and a third brief tangent here: when chat noir is unhealthy, he becomes chat blanc, who is white, and patte de velours, who is accented with gold. colors of entanglement? of influence? of inauthenticity? are félix's best parts adrien's idea of a perfect self? i am contemplating.

there are more significant reasons for moon adrien and sun félix. in important moments of the show, adrien is frequently associated with the moon. glaciator, chat blanc, kuro neko, new york special... and on the other hand, where does the sun play an important part of the story? in réplique, with félix.

narratively, sentitwins seem to have moon and sun roles. adrien is the one from whom things are hidden, while félix is the one who shines light on the truth. adrien spends most of his time as support, while félix is an active agent. adrien reacts to things, while félix makes them happen, for better or for worse.

nina has an entire essay on félix and the development of his sun associations from lune rouge to the sunrise in représentation, so i'll leave that to her to discuss.

all right. sentitwins are either sun and moon or moon and sun. what does this mean for them?

it intrigues me that adrien is viewed by fanon as the sun when he could be better described as the moon. adrien agreste enjoyers, please get on this.

here is a starting point for your thoughts. if adrien is the moon, it makes sense why he destroyed the moon in chat blanc when he was trying to destroy himself.

and if félix is the sun, it further puts into perspective why he felt guilty about réplique's fate. they were a sacrifice for his goals. he may has well have literally killed them.

role reversal and false impressions are prominent in sentitwins and this complicated picture adds to that.

frequently bought together. do not separate.

in conclusion, yes, autumn, this is most certainly something. fuck if i know what it is, but i love losing my mind about it.

[limonjarritos]

VINCE IS SO DOWN BAD FOR RODY OH MY GOD??? LITERALLY KILLS HIS EX GIRLFRIEND TO MAKE HIM HAPPY???? THEYVE KNOWN EACH OTHER LESS THAN A WEEK??????

LITERALLY LIKE- MY MAN FELL HARD AND INSANELY. LIKE WHO DOES THAT? I wouldn't have it any other way. Just the way that as soon as Rody came into his life he was like 'I need this man to be so whole-y mine.'

When I was playing the game my pet theory was that he fell for Rody's brand of love, for how he loved Manon (he did say that he spoke of Manon when they first met) and Rody's personality.

(read more because I am so annoying about this game vv)

Something something, how Rody loves so intensely to the detriment of himself (Manon told him to stop giving, to for once in his life realise that he needed to take care of him self and be stable. He can't just account for the other person's needs <- barely know her but I get why Rody was head over heels). How Rody's love is similar to his cooking, burning, burning himself, burning and oh so overwhelming. And I do think Vince wanted the feel of that burn for himself, wanted to feel the warmth and devotion of which he had been so devoid of. To understand what it was he was lacking. How love and cooking go hand in hand in the story, how Vince's dishes were devoid of love, how he can't taste. How Rody's love surely would be strong enough, would be the missing ingredient to allow him to finally taste something. (Also lack of taste going hand in hand with what looks like depression of some sort, or perhaps just apathy for life. How bland his own life may be. How such a love, such a person could perhaps bring some taste to his life.) Vince seems to have killed Manon as a form of trying to show Rody a similar type of love. Giving him something, giving him a meal made out of Rody's own love. A gift since he couldn't give his own brand of love in a way that matters, couldn't give it without showing his own brand of devotion. I do think he 100% had an underlying jealousy and hatred of Manon, how Rody was still stuck up on her. How she never once mentioned Rody when her and Vince dated (though outside of Vince's pov I'm pretty sure Manon was just doing the healthy normal thing by not mentioning an ex?? but Vince is soooo gone) which is obviously a sin (he doesn't seem to take kindly to people who are mean to Rody. Such as the article and Rody's old college classmate) and proof she wasn't deserving enough of Rody's love. But alas she was still a gift and show of love to Rody.

On the personality topic (thought I forgot about that did you?), Rody is such a brash and kind person. A perfect foil for Vincent's more stoic nature. Rody willing to try and befriend Vincent, running into the kitchen to talk to him. He showed a bit of said love to Vince by trying to befriend him and how could Vince not want more? (why wouldn't Vince try to reciprocate in his own way. Make him happy) I mean he seems pretty feared by his cooks, and the people at the party have mentioned that Vince is pretty ruthless, not at all a person many wish to get to know. But Rody is willing to, yet Vince wants his undivided attention...

Okay wow this has gone on way too long uhh I'm 100% open to further discussion especially if I forgot something! And I haven't really looked too much into the game past playing it, so any reveals the creator may have given I'm mostly unaware of and would love to be informed of more!

Anyways tiny Vincent attack!

[canisalbus]

wait ive been reading some of these asks. do machete & vasco have a written out story? or comic? i havent seen any links on your page for something like that (unless I'm looking over em :"D) but I'd love to read/hear more if so!

Hh sorry, they have lots of story stuff planned out but it's all just rattling around in my head, there's no comic, written fiction, lore depository or anything substantial that I could direct you to. I mostly just design characters for my own enjoyment and then put them in little imaginary situations because it's a fun and inspiring thing to do.

[idiosyncraticrednebula]

The backlash against Frozen, which, from my observation, has cooled down (that isn't a joke, I swear-) quite a bit over the past few years, was less based on the quality of the movie itself and more on the fact that its massive success and reach really overshadowed a lot of other movies that came out prior to it and after it and was getting credited for stuff that had already been done before plenty of times, and in many cases, in those exact movies. This is why, to this day, many fans STILL refuse to give Tangled its props without trying to put Frozen down in some way. In their eyes, Tangled should have gotten the glory and accolades Frozen received, but did not, and that made them quite jealous. Overall, Frozen is far from a bad movie. It's a great movie with a great message, characters, music and does actually deserve the success and recognition it got, and some fans need to stop being so salty about it and uplift their fav movies without putting Frozen down so they get the proper appreciation they deserve as well. Although, yes, the credit this movie got for allegedly introducing themes, archetypes and tropes that had already been seen before in Disney, including movies set in a fairytale world with heroines as the protags, was undoubtedly the most annoying part about its success and is part of the reason why many tried to drag this movie and its main leads.

[karamazovposting]

On Ivan and bipolar disorder (part three)

This is my favorite part of this whole thing. I haven't written it yet, that's literally the opening line, but here I'll be talking about one of the most interesting (to me) aspects of Ivan's character: how the other characters perceive him; I already know I'll be having a blast writing this. Internal vs external perception is probably my favorite topic when it comes to character study, so I was thinking of doing something similar for Dmitri as well in the future because I noticed some things that I want to talk about. I'll think about it.

For once I don't have to make an introduction where I explain what I'll be going over in this because there's none to be made, so let's start from the beginning. The first time we see Ivan is when they're all waiting for Dmitri at the beginning of the book, and what does he do? He takes the piss out of everyone, of course. And I think that in everything that happens there and in the following passages (I was particularly struck by Father Zosima's words about him, which I've already mentioned in here) we pretty much have the key to Ivan's character, and he doesn't even give it to us himself (very fitting indeed). The first thing we find out is that Alyosha is afraid Ivan will be condescending towards the monks and while Ivan technically isn't, he still adopts a subtly mocking tone with them, which checks out considering that Miusov says Ivan feigns arrogance to mask his own insecurity. Also it's very telling that Ivan's demeanor changes when it comes to Zosima, I feel like he actually does respect him and to some extent appreciates his words. Funnily enough I've found myself in a similar situation in the past (atheist surrounded by nuns, my family was there, they told me some things I appreciated; I wasn't making fun of anyone though I swear) so I get it.

Speaking of words, there are many used for him in those chapters, and there are even more as the novel goes on, brushstroke after brushstroke painting a rather confusing and contradictory picture of this young man: he's bright yet insecure and "a tomb", he's weird and a misunderstood outcast in his own family yet he's charming (said by multiple characters in multiple occasions, I think it's the word that's used the most to describe him) and refined, yet again eccentric. He's paradoxical and a riddle (another word used multiple times), and his own father fears him more than he fears the son who almost beat him to death and at first I couldn't understand why, considering everyone else's opinion of Ivan and the fact that Ivan actually helped get Dmitri off of their father when he was beating him, but then I went back to Book Two and stumbled upon a line that managed to completely go over my head in the past (how could that happen? God, the horror!) that does explain a lot and looking back now, to me feels like one of the most important lines (about Ivan) of the whole novel:

What seemed to [Aleksej] strangest of all was that his brother Ivan, [...] who alone had such influence on his father that he could have stopped him [...]

I don't think I need to explain why I think this line (that you can find in The old buffoon for context) is crucial so I won't say much about it, but it also explains why Ivan's presence in the Karamazov household is seen as a guarantee for quiet and order (as stated during Dmitri's trial, and we also see it in the fact that both Dmitri and Pavel had in mind to murder Fyodor only if Ivan had been out of the picture, though for different reasons), and honestly it surprised me: I mean, Ivan's influence over other people plays a very important role in the story, but him having influence over his father? Fyodor Pavlovich Karamazov? Wow. Also I have something else to say about the quiet and order thing but it belongs in part four.

The rest of that line is also interesting in my opinion:

[...] [Ivan] sat now quite unmoved, with downcast eyes, apparently waiting with interest to see how it would end, as though he had nothing to do with it.

This, maybe trivial, line never really left my head, which means it must mean something to me. Maybe because that behaviour fits Ivan's character so well and I always like when he gets to act like a normal, unbothered, and even childish at times, twenty-three year old (he's not even angry there, what a rare occurrence) and because according to how the other characters speak of him, it feels unexpected (and turned out to be useful for this post).

Back to how others speak of him, someone (Fyodor I think) goes as far as saying that maybe Ivan deliberately seeks torment, which honestly feels a little too familiar to me and that's why that's another line I can't seem to get out of my head; when people have such a high opinion of you they do tend to blame your own struggle on you, at least in my experience, as it's their only way of rationalizing it. You should be better than that, you should be smarter than that. But you're not, so maybe you actually want it; why would such a brilliant person be like that otherwise? You're not allowed to be "weak" and I think Ivan is a perfect example of this as he has internalized this concept, but I'll go over it in part four.

But what does all this have to do with bipolar disorder? I'm getting there, but you'll have to bear with me because this whole thing gets quite intricated at this point and I have to be as clear as I can (and I can't, ever), so let's take a seemingly nonsensical step back to see the bigger picture.

None of the brothers are stupid: Dmitri is naive, impulsive and uneducated, sure, but the narrator does describe him as a fairly intelligent man in spite of it, Pavel was basically a child prodigy and a very smart young adult (and maybe I should talk about it sometime because everyone in the novel considers him to be capable but stupid and there's only one person who explicitly recognizes his intelligence in a genuine way apart from the narrator, guess who), and Aleksej, while also uneducated, isn't stupid either. But there is a particular emphasis put on Ivan's intelligence and it's hard to find a paragraph where he is present or where someone else is talking about him that doesn't mention it. Ivan is bright, Ivan is educated, Ivan is an academic. It's pretty much the first thing the other characters think of when thinking about him, it's almost some sort of morbid fixation. And it's not a positive thing either as it does nothing but feed into his insecurities and Pavel even uses it against him by telling him how intelligent he is over and over until he officially loses it. Ivan is smart to the point of being charming and admired, but that turns out to be a double-edged sword (of course) because everyone puts him on a pedestral and higher the pedestral, deadlier the fall, as we see in the second half of the novel. In my opinion the only one who seems to view him as a human being and not as some sort of ghost or higher, detached entity (apart from Zosima) is Alyosha; Dmitri considers Ivan to be better than everyone else including himself, Smerdyakov is...well, Smerdyakov, his father's attitude towards him is basically I don't understand what's up with him and I don't really care (in addition to what I said a few paragraphs ago) and even Katya is charmed by him more than she loves him, at least at first. Everyone else doesn't even really know him and that's partially his own fault, but I can't blame him.

Why do I consider this bipolar coding? To make it short, intelligent people are often considered charismatic and many psychiatric studies suggest that there's a link between bipolar disorder and high intelligence (which to me personally kind of feels like a consolation prize, like nature saying hey, you'll hate being alive but at least you're not an idiot!, thanks a lot I guess) and it's also worth mentioning that bipolar disorder is linked to creativity as well since Ivan has come up with multiple poems over the years, which means he must be a creative person to a certain degree. I haven't been citing my sources because this is not an academic paper and I'm just some guy on Tumblr who doesn't even study psychiatry and just happens to be basically cursed, but there's a book about this topic that I want to mention: Touched with Fire: Manic-Depressive Illness and the Artistic Temperament by American psychiatrist Kay Redfield Jamison; I've also read her (very relatable) autobiography and I'm a big fan of hers since she knows what she's talking about even more than the average psychiatrist because she has bipolar disorder herself. For anecdotal evidence, I keep a mental list of historical figures and artists (including contemporaries/celebrities who are still alive) diagnosed with bipolar disorder (so if you ever want to know if someone has/had it hit me up I guess) that I won't include here for obvious reasons, but let me just say that the doctors who did the aforementioned studies do seem to have a point (and I'm an artist myself). I want to make clear that I'm not trying to play into the overused, boring, inaccurate, and generally uncomfortable (for me at least) mentally ill tormented genius trope/stereotype and that it's obviously not what Dostoevsky was going for either; it's just that I've personally had people fixate on my intellect my whole life (not to mention the general weird fascination the average person has for mental illness and mentally ill people as well) and seeing Ivan go through that same experience combined with the studies I just mentioned made this association inevitable for me. Also people seem to find you more fun and charming when you're manic/hypomanic (only when you're the "right" kind of manic/hypomanic of course, when you're experiencing dysphoric mania/hypomania people just become ableist because that's the "wrong" kind of mania/hypomania, duh) which is...uhm...I don't really know how to feel about it honestly, but it's a fact so I'm mentioning it.

But what came first, Ivan's self-isolation or people's misunderstanding of him as a person? Is it the former that caused the latter or the other way around? To me this feels like having to talk about the good old chicken and egg dilemma and I still haven't figured it out in relation to myself, so I guess this will remain unanswered for now (or forever). But what I do know is that bipolar disorder is a lonely experience, no matter how hard someone tries to not make it lonely; people just don't get it even if you explain yourself a thousand times over and over. It doesn't mean you don't have relationships with others, it just means you know you have to keep some things to yourself sometimes and you get used to it, which seems to be Ivan's case too; to me the best example of it is when he's just about to tell Alyosha about the devil but stops himself from doing so and decides to push him away instead. In my opinion it's also connected to his inability to show "weakness" that I already mentioned and that is often one of the core experiences of living with bipolar disorder, but I won't go over that now. I'll just say the problem when it comes to Ivan is that everyone (the readers, the other characters, even himself) gets tangled in a net of performance; living with bipolar disorder feels like having to constantly keep up a certain kind of act (that I wouldn't even know how to explain) in front of others due to the stigma, and I'm pretty sure that's the case with every neurodivergence and invisible disability (bipolar disorder is in fact a disability and I'm legally disabled, that's why I mentioned ableism earlier). Ivan knows what people think and expect of him (we've seen it in his first real interaction with Alyosha and I've already talked about it in part two) and we see few moments when he goes mask off, and apart from those moments his facial expressions are always described as being forced or "off" in some other way. One thing that struck me is the significant contrast between what Mrs. Khokhlakova in particular says about him and how we actually see him behave when he doesn't bother with his forced coldness and collectedness (usually by himself or around his family): she talks about how refined and chivalrious he is multiple times because that's the side of him she sees (and almost everyone else sees), yet he's the character who swears the most (I don't know if "swearing" is the right term as in the novel there are no actual curse words in the modern sense but he doesn't really speak kindly does he); his language is even worse than Dmitri's. I'm not saying that being polite in public/formal settings and swearing like a sailor in private/informal settings is something unusual because I'm also like that (as I'm afraid you might have noticed, sorry for all the swearing!), I just wanted to point that out because to me it seems important in general and relevant for this post.

This doesn't mean I think of Ivan as a fake person because I would have to have that same opinion of myself and I don't, it's quite hard to explain if you haven't lived the bipolar experience first-hand or don't really know what masking is and I hope you'll understand what I'm trying to say here; it's just that he hides and polishes some parts of himself due to a combination of childhood emotional neglect, mental illness, and a personality that's difficult on its own (but really, when you have a disorder like this one it's quite hard to tell what's personality and what's mental illness, especially because at times they're one and the same; it shapes you and sometimes you can't even do anything about it and to me it's no surprise Ivan's sense of self is as warped as it is), all factors that contribute to his partially self-inflicted isolation. I mean, he does say himself to Alyosha that at first he kept him at a distance on purpose and you can also find a glimpse of that in his own philosophy: he openly says that he loves humanity but dislikes humans. He can only show affection from afar and I think that also reflects in the situation with Pavel and in Ivan's own guilt: I don't think Ivan lacks empathy (quite the opposite), he just doesn't have the tools to do anything with it. Could he really have done something? He says he would have if Pavel had explicitly told him to stay in their father's house (here the conversation shifts on the physical aspect of things as Ivan now feels guilty for also being physically distant from his family and not only emotionally), but Ivan's words are never really reliable. How can we expect someone who's incapable of getting close to people to help them? Even when trying to help Dmitri escape prison he's still rough with him. There's a reason why his thing with Katya is a mess as well and he refuses to admit that he loves her (he even says to Alyosha that he doesn't like her and he's with her only to prevent a catastrophe at Mitya's trial, which are later stated to be lies by the narrator): he always tries to convert his feelings into reason, otherwise his whole façade crumbles.

I also want to mention Ippolit Kirillovič's words about him at the trial because they seem very important to me, but only very briefly because first, many things he says have already been talked about in my other posts and second, it seems a little unfair to leave the other members of the family out because Ippolit Kirillovič says many interesting things about all of them; maybe I'll make a post about that in the future. Basically, Ippolit Kirillovič doesn't particularly like Ivan because he got the better of him in a couple public arguments they had in the past (very funny to me by the way), but he still prefaces his criticism of him by talking about his positive qualities (once again, his vigorous intellect and brilliant education) and saying he was welcome in their community (but not in the same way Dmitri was). This is yet another case of me not knowing where I'm going with this, but this particular instance stood out to me so it was worth mentioning; I think it summarizes the other characters' attitude towards Ivan quite well, but I can't really explain it.

Another thing that I noticed is that no one ever calls him by a nickname, not even Alyosha. I wrote a post about the use of names and nicknames in The Brothers Karamazov months ago but I hated the way it turned out because I felt like I wasn't making any sense so I decided to throw the whole thing away and I don't even know if I should try writing it again. Anyway, it's very interesting to me that pretty much everyone is referred to by a nickname (even Rakitin of all people) except for Ivan; not even Alyosha calls him anything other than his name (and if I remember correctly not even Katya, who talks to Ivan using the informal you, does). Actually, there are a couple instances where this does happen and that drives me even more insane because the first one happens at the beginning of the novel, when his father calls him Vanya a few times only to never do it again (and honestly Ivan didn't seem to like that either), and the second one is Rakitin mockingly referring to him as Vanechka when talking about him to Aleksej (because of course he'd never call Ivan that to his face and I also have a feeling he'd get decked if he tried). I don't really know where I'm going with this (again) but I wanted to throw it in anyway because it always stood out to me considering the only main characters that are never referred to like that are Fyodor, Ivan, and Smerdyakov and well, there seem to be implications here. In the aforementioned deleted post I wrote about this topic I mentioned sense of belonging (Mitya belongs there after all) and affection/connection (everyone loves Alyosha) in opposition to being excluded (Smerdyakov is not a legitimate son) and being unable to connect with others (Ivan is an outcast due to the multiple reasons I went over in the previous paragraphs). Maybe I really should try writing it again.

Well, I think I'm done for now. I found it a little hard to separate the themes of part three from the ones of part four, because the latter will focus on Ivan's self-perception (among what happens from Book Eleven to the epilogue and other, more "medical", things) but we see how he perceives himself through the devil but the devil is not an actual real person in the book so I couldn't really include that here and in my mind the themes of these two parts kind of blended together so I had to to figure out where to break them apart.

This took longer than usual (which bothers me but oh well) because I had to take a break from pretty much everything (which is why lately many posts have been queued) for a while due to the February-March period always being whacky for me bipolar-wise, mostly because of the seasonal change (something that plays a huge role in this shitshow of a disorder and something I'll go over in part four because surprise surprise) that always makes me mentally and physically tired. All of this, which can be summarized with bipolar disorder bipolar disordering, to say that I hope this part isn't as messy as it seems to me and that I hope you can't tell I wrote it during a time I wasn't getting enough sleep (I swear I did my best given the circumstances), and if I "disappear" or interact less from time to time it's usually because of this kind of stuff. I'm still not getting enough sleep by the way so I might take a break from serious posts again, I love that daylight savings time happens during one of the worst seasonal changes of the whole year for me every year and it doesn't mess with my disorder at all.

It sure didn't help that I chose to make part three more complicated than the others thinking it wouldn't go in a completely different direction than I had originally planned and wouldn't therefore have to reorganize my thoughts during a period I simply couldn't do so; I will obviously be punished for my hubris. But until then I'll be working on part four (and some other unfinished stuff I have in my drafts and have no idea when I'll post), which will be the last part of my bipolar Ivan Karamazov essay.

[l-llavellans]

OC Vibe Game: Asher and Isla Trevelyan

thank you for tagging me again @tevivinter (how did you know i got addicted to making these and needed an excuse to share them…) !!!! i couldn’t decide if i wanted to do another wayhaven one or a dragon age one so i just did both 😅 this was originally just for my inquisitor but as i was making it i thought it would be cool to make one for the dynamic between him and his sister !

so this one is for my inquisitor, asher trevelyan, and his older sister isla. they were doomed from the start :)

i know a lot of you have done this multiple times and i don't want to keep you in an endless loop of tags but if you're reading this id love to see more of your ocs !! asap!!! 🫵

[palajae]

hi :3! not sure if you've ever gotten this type of ask before but, how do you make your long fics well ... long? i've been trying to get myself to write more full length fics but i can never seem to make good enough scenes that aren't too short if that makes sense 😭 if you could give me some tips on how to make scenes longer and make fics more interesting i would greatly appreciate it! :))

aaaa i never get this type of ask so im excited- ofc i’m super happy to answer!!

hmmm for me specifically, i like to think of the purpose behind each scene (i.e. characters meeting for the first time, establishing a conflict of the mc) because that’s how a story is made and how the plot moves along right?

then i use the setting and characters in the scene to incorporate the plot leading up to the true “purpose�� of the scene + after the purpose is fulfilled AKA—transitions. that way, the scene is not super short and straight to the point (if that makes sense?)

here’s an example bc idk if i made any sense at all lol: let’s say the purpose of your first scene is to get the mcs to meet at a cafe. well, based off what i’ve watched and read, i could write ab how the characters get ready to go there/why they wanted to go to the cafe in the first place/even just their thoughts going to the desired location. that adds more lines or dialogue immediately. then after the two mcs meet, you can lengthen more by adding their reactions or thoughts after their meeting!

and for making things interesting, as long as you stay true to the story and characters actions/personalities while keeping the plot flowing smoothly—you don’t have to worry about it being interesting—it naturally will be! i feel readers mainly stop reading if the story doesn’t make sense anymore (the actions of the characters suddenly don’t align with their original values and the plot is just moving on with no purpose).? honestly it’s hard for me too to know what people find interesting these days lol.

another thing that can help make scenes longer is maybe reading other people’s works/watching movies or dramas to get inspiration ykwim? especially like kdramas that are made up of many parts, i think they’re good examples of longer scenes that fulfill their duty to the plot while still keeping it entertaining for the reader!