#sorry for venting I don't like doing that either

[8nigiris-spam]

I CAN ONLY DRAW PADPARADSCHA PLAYING VIDEOGAMES NOW??? I LITERALLY CAN'T DRAW ANYTHING ELSE ANYMORE???

[qcomicsy]

Lately I've only been wishing to grab a comic about my favorite character and just have a genuinely good time reading it.

[moongothic]

You know, a long time ago I read this stupid ass Reddit comment complaining how they couldn't understand why people were "obsessed with making Crocodile a woman", and of course I just looked at it like "bro, if he's trans then he literally ISN'T a woman, that's the whole point, nobody wants Croc to be a woman 💀"

But I feel like the more and more Dragodile seems to pick up in popularity the more I keep on running into fanart where Croc's either being feminized/woobified/intentionally made to look smaller, more petite and feminine than Dragon, or straight up he's been detransitioned to live as a woman farting out more babies 24/7, not to mention the constant she/her'ing and calling Croc a "mom"

Like people are allowed to do whatever the fuck they want, but man. Some of y'all really do want Croc to stop being a trans man and be a woman instead. That's just so emotionally distressing to realize.

[rapidhighway]

i might've fucked up -.-

[it-is-i-zim]

Fellas? We ain't okay over here.

[inevitablestars]

starting to feel a little bit weird about me

[pokimoko]

Alright, I don't want to be a dick (and that's half the reason why I'm not answering this ask properly and censoring the user's name; I don't want to throw them to the wolves over poor wording), but I just have to say this: if you're going to send in an art request to me, please at least do me the basic decency of being polite about it. I am doing them for free and out of my own spare time, so I am under no obligation to make them if I don't want to.

The way this particular request is written feels like the equivalent of a 'please update' on a fic or like I'm some sort of AI art generator you're putting a prompt into, and it absolutely turns me off wanting to make art for you, which I won't be doing for this one. I'm sorry to be pedantic over phrasing, but I have to set some boundaries when it comes to requests, and this is one of them.

[daz4i]

not to vent on main but it feels like most mental health advice is "get out of toxic situations and places" or "remove sources of stress in your life" and like. i'm perfectly fine in that regard. i don't have a place to leave i already got out of every unhealthy situation i was in years ago. the only source of stress in my life is the human condition and the only toxic situation i'm in is life itself

[candlebel]

I cared. I still do. I still think of you and I still cry over you. You were importat to me. You still are.

[silent-sentinels]

okay. so. our facet Faucet is our secret keeper, and we did not ask [ ] permission before introducing this blog to others. so [ ] isn't very pleased, to say the least.

[deliriuxe]

I feel like I make people excited for things I'm just not able to live up to. I make too many promises and plans for things that I think in my head should be no problem following through on, only to then not be able to even come close to reaching that seemingly simple goal and disappointing everyone I hyped up, along with myself.

This is more relevant to my activity on my main blog than here (honestly this blog feels more like an escape from the responsibilities I've made on my other blogs), but for personal reasons I don't feel comfortable enough to talk about it there. Maybe one day, but not now.

For the many of you who likely don't know... I was a part of a collaborative AU/AM known as AccidentVerse: the one with the fusions of outcodes like Vantablack (nightmare!ink) and Silence (dream!error). It was a relatively popular au at the time and I was the official artist for it.

I broke off from the team for reasons that I currently don't have it in me to go into any meaningful detail about (I'm still working through therapy to fully understand what happened to me when I was a part of that group; I'm sure it'll come with time), but one thing I'm now coming to terms with after 3 whole years... is that I constantly felt the need to justify my existence online through my work. I believe I had that issue even before I joined AV, but working for that team certainly made it much, much worse.

I was very young at the time, and I didn't have a whole lot going for me in the vast new social circle I was introduced to (like with any socially awkward 13 year old kid), so my only source of value was through the art that I made for AccidentVerse. And everyone loved it. Everyone I met was amazed at the skill I had for being at such a young age. I was valued, essentially put on a pedestal...

...as long as I was working.

Long story short, it burnt me out. This mindset still carries through to today, where I feel as though I have to maintain my prominence in the UTMV community by continuously working and pumping out new content, because... who would I be if I didn't? It was what I was good at, it was the reason I was so valued by the AV admins in the first place... because without that, I would've been nothing to them.

...

...Working on AV today, after adopting it as the sole owner... it's a struggle. I toil desperately for an ounce of motivation for a project that I just cannot seem to find. Don't get me wrong, I love AV. I love the characters dearly... but I'm starting to question if focusing on AccidentVerse is even healthy for me, with all the trauma I've gained from the people I worked under.

I just... I don't know. All I have is a half finished fic for AV that I practically have had to force myself to work on for the better part of 6 months, even if I genuinely hold some passion for the ideas in it.

I'll remind myself to not make as many promises going forward.

[gemharvest]

Need to get on top of whatever dumb fucking inferiority complex I got going on I'm tired of looking at everything about myself and going "Wow I am really sub-par." I know it's 2am but this isn't the midnight thoughts talking this is a fucking persistent curse throughout my day.

[quick-drawn]

despite what the most recent posts on my blog will tell you, i did actually get some things done around here these past few days. mainly working on drafts. but i didn't manage to finish anything. head's been all over the place and i've been drowning that out with video games. mandatory overtime is supposed to start this week, but i got a message from the boss yesterday that demand isn't as high as they were expecting it to be, so we're working our normal 8 hour shifts. except for me. because i already had appointments booked for my 12 hour shifts. including monday ( which i don't normally work, but we were required to since we're getting thanksgiving off ). so i only got 1 day off to recoup from that horrid week i had last week. so here i am at 12am, fighting off a headache so i can get some sleep for this 12 hour shift i shouldn't be working, while everyone else either gets to stay home because they didn't book any work or gets to go home early. and, oh yeah, let's not forget that i STILL DON'T HAVE A HELPER —

[anaalnathrakhs]

"people love you uwu people care about you" okay? not my problem. love me less. can we work out a reasonable level of care where it's obviously not cool if horrible things happen to me, a human being, and you won't do any horrible thing to me, but you don't feel obligated to fuss over anything out of the ordinary i do and i have to shut up about it and perform Normal Human Emotions lest i commit an awful social faux pas and hurt your feelings?

[knifefightandchill]

Okay so I’ve been biting my tongue but figured I might as well get it out already.

piers and chris vent under the cut

I feel like it’s important to point out that Piers was Chris’s lieutenant. He was directly under him. So yeah, he was a higher rank than the rest of the team, but not higher than Chris. And definitely not a high enough rank to have any sort of sway with the brass. If they want Chris back on the field, there’s absolutely nothing Piers can do to fight it.

But besides that;

Piers looks up to him, he cares about him. Hell, Chris scouted him, trained him. They were friends. So, I wouldn’t be surprised if he jumped at the chance to find him and bring him back.

He’s also a 26 year old soldier, I doubt he had any idea the extent of Chris’s mental issues. He’s drunk when Piers shows up after all. In fact, I doubt the BSAA cared or had the time to do a full psych work up on him before flinging him into Lanshiang.

Chris is unhinged, he’s reckless, he’s blinded by vengeance. But his actions are still his own fault. He shouldn’t be out in the field in any capacity. In fact, I feel like he shoulda been sedated and brought to a hospital. But he’s clear headed enough to know what he’s doing, he just doesn’t care about the consequences. He’s got tunnel vision. That’s not an excuse, that’s an explanation. He’s still responsible.

He tries to blame it all on Carla, but the blood of his own team in Lanshiang is also on his hands.

In fact, Piers points that out! “If you hadn’t been blinded by vengeance, we could have prevented some of those deaths.” Shit, they then get in a whole fight over it.

There’s another time I can think of off the top of my head where Piers points out he’s being reckless earlier on in the game. Chris shuts it down with the whole soldier thing.

So, if Piers knows something is wrong, why does he keep following him?

1; that’s his friend, 2; that’s his captain, and 3; if Chris goes out there on his own in the state that he’s in he will get himself killed.

I’m tired of this idea that Piers is some sort of powerful asshole that forces Chris into bad situations and is therefore responsible for all of Chris’s actions. It’s so dumb.

Piers isn’t some stupid manipulative person. From what we see he’s genuine, loyal, and even caring. He cared about continuing to fight the good fight, to help end bioterrorism. And he cared about Chris. He sacrificed himself for both. For the future.

I can understand loving a character a lot, but you can still recognize their faults. I love Chris, I do, but he did stupid shit and that’s on him. And that’s okay! Because fave characters aren’t always pure and innocent. and that’s fine! 

If you don’t like piers, then don’t like him. but don’t mischaracterize him to make others look good.

don’t make up some long-winded reason as to why and put it in the character tag for fuck’s sake. also talking about people who write him is unnecessary.

Because it’s rude to those who actually like the character. I thought that was an old tumblr rule to keep discourse out of the tags??  It feels so inflammatory. Which I’m sure it is. But it irritated me to the point where I bit the bait. fandom is supposed to be fun, if you’re gonna be negative like that keep it to yourself. 

[beananium]

my family don't be annoying about my weight challenge (impossible)