#sorry for this!!

[cringeycurnt]

König x civvy!Brooklynn

König x OC

könig cannot resist that absolutely divine piece of cake he see’s from across the street, so he doesn’t hold back…

warning’s and tags: eating absolute ass, not very well written as this is my first fanfic, consentual but he is partially unconscious!!! goodluck and i love y’all!!

also guys wtf did i just write

———————————————————————————

König enters his military assigned room, which was less than comfortable, but it was all he had to call home. Unfortunately for him and his large size, the shower rooms and bed’s were dangerously tiny compared to his large frame. This made his only humane tasks, cleaning himself and getting a good nights rest, practically anything he got to do outside of the field, terribly annoying. In fact, most of the time they did the exact opposite of what he wanted them to do

“Scheiß” he muttered under his breath, talking out loud as if anyone could hear him. Even if they could, it’s not like they would be able to understand his native tongue. Frustrated with the way his cozy pajamas were fitting him after subtly shrinking in the wash, or maybe he was just getting even larger, who’s to say. Though, that had angered him so badly he decided to change his entire plans for the night.

Instead of submitting to his aching body and allowing it the rest it truly needed, he decided going to the local bar and drinking the pain away would perhaps be more suitable. With that being said, he threw on a pair of green cargo pants, a black shirt with a more relaxed fit than his usual compression shirts offered him, and a pair of old combat boots he had worn out to death. He then began his walk to the pub, not expecting much more from this night other than drinking himself to waste, but little did he know this night would be one he’d remember til the day he died…

As König made his way to the bar, he had suddenly felt this intense surge of emotion. He couldn’t out his finger on what had caused it, but he knew it was something worth noting. Although he wasn’t planning on being so emotional, he couldn’t help himself. Right there, in the middle of the sidewalk, he burst into laughter, a hearty laugh that had caught the attention of a pedestrian on the other side of the street.

This wasn’t any normal pedestrian, though. It was a woman. One of the most beautiful women König had ever laid his eyes on. She had dat crazy curvy bod, with flowing blond hair and green eyes. She was fitted up in a cunty red dress, almost too short on her backside which was absolutely PHAT. After his laugh had caught her attention, they made eye contact from across the road.

“h-h-h-h-hey!” this strange, gorgeoud woman had said from across the road.

“hello over there” könig had said in a strangley seductive voice.

“you are soooo fine! let me eat your booty NOW!!!” yelled brooklynn from across the road.

König, initially flustered, responded with an excited affirmation! he began to cross the road when all of a sudden-

BOOM!!!💥

König is hit by a large semi truck going 80 down this small town road!

“holy bazinga” exclaims brooklynn as she runs into the street to help him. she adresses his wounds and them remember her secret alpha powers…

“i know what i need to do to save you life!! give me consent to eat your butt please!!!!!”

könig, but sure how this would help, agreed, because if this is how be was gonna die, at least a beautiful woman would be in his tushy while it happened.

brooklynn ripped könig oants off with a pop of his pants button. there they lay, in the middle of this street road covered in blood while her face shoved in his booty. as she licked and rimmed and sucked and ate his booty, he somehow felt himself start to regain consciousness. the more and more she feasted on his keister, the more his wounds began to heal! it was a miracle, könig thought, how is she doing this!!!!

after he had been fully healed and booty fully ate, brooklynn stood up and walked into the shadows, never to be seen again.

könig made a full recovery, and he would never tell a soul about this strange incident, but at night time when he was lonely in that small military issued cot, he’d always think about her. she was the forst thing he thought about when he woke up, and the last thing he thought about when he closed his eyes late at night and submitted to his sleep.

thanks for reading this, i love you guys!😙😙

[willinghands]

i think r/BenignExistence is my favorite subreddit 🥲 i love these pleasant little glimpses into strangers' lives

[the-elder-polls]

appalachia is devastated. towns i loved, towns i visited all the time, are gone. not damaged, GONE. they are leveled to the ground. there is nothing left but rubble and ruin. people are dead. appalachia is poor to begin with and relies on tourism for a lot of its income, and multiple of those tourist locations are just...gone.

my town is okay, but it's flooded and wrecked. trees are blocking all but one way out of our neighborhood. power lines are hanging limp in the roads. we've been without power for over 24 hours and will continue to be without power for likely another 24+. disabled people and poor people are GOING to die from this. gods save appalachia.

[astronnova]

yeaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa

[climbingthefloors]

obsessed with this baby hippo from thailand's khao khew zoo.. she has been so utterly betrayed by the world

[churrotowns]

cockblocked 😔

[yumenikkii]

just another average day in gravity falls

[codecicle]

Guys I'm so glad everyone loves hit JRWI campaign: The Suckening so much. 12 thousand notes on just a thumbnail that's so cool. Anyone think about emizel pussy-out post revival

[hamletthedane]

I just found the earliest email I ever sent from my email address, and it’s the funniest goddamn thing I can possibly imagine a fourth grader sending her teacher:

(Context - my fourth grade teacher was on maternity leave, and the class had conferenced at recess regarding the poor state of the classroom goldfish’s tank. We decided to inform our (24yo, new mother) former teacher of the dire situation, and I was selected as the duly appointed representative for this solemn communication.)

[razzafrazzle]

Just Checking In! (aka Something About Red Triangles)

[cordspaghetti]

really factual recounting with no embellishments whatsoever

[catlaila]

justice for kabru. they put my man in the wrong genre. bro was meant to be playing psychological games with light yagami and instead he’s playing yaoi mind tennis with a blonde himbo

[unforth]

Y'all I know that when so-called AI generates ridiculous results it's hilarious and I find it as funny as the next guy but I NEED y'all to remember that every single time an AI answer is generated it uses 5x as much energy as a conventional websearch and burns through 10 ml of water. FOR EVERY ANSWER. Each big llm is equal to 300,000 kiligrams of carbon dioxide emissions.

LLMs are killing the environment, and when we generate answers for the lolz we're still contributing to it.

Stop using it. Stop using it for a.n.y.t.h.i.n.g. We need to kill it.

Sources:

[dsmsix]

thought I was muted and just had this exchange with a coworker on a zoom call

[whiteshipnightjar]

Zoozve, my beloved