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#sorry for random venting
jagerstian · 6 months
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I hate being consumed by the media actually, I end up not creating and instead get stuck in a loop of constant bedrotting and doomscrolling
Hyperfixations turn into an all-consuming disease, and then that in turn becomes a vague brainworm that pushes my consciousness to the back burner and I dont even have the energy to fight back. Just days and days and days of watching life go on around me without feeling like I'm actually part of it at all. Seeing through my eyes as a spectator, not a person
How long do I have to lay on the ground before I'm consumed by the earth? At least then the consumption would be worth something. Maybe that'd make me worth something, too. Or maybe my absence is what has worth, more than my presence ever could
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softspiderling · 6 months
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will never get over this picture. everyone just vibing and he’s over here posing like😭😭😭 why are you touching your titty like that sir? slutty
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qtboni · 1 year
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╰﹒ 𝐒𝐇𝐀𝐓𝐓𝐄𝐑𝐄𝐃 𝐇𝐎𝐏𝐄𝐒 !
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PAIRING: Ooc!Simon 'Ghost' Riley X Reader
OVERVIEW: He lashes out on you + very dismissive over your efforts for him :((
C/W: Angst, no comfort (see p2 for comfort!), mentions of toxic behavior (bcz words), offensive languages, depictions of mental health struggles (anxiety, but js tiny amount). [ fanart credits : ave661 on tumblr ]
W/C: 1.1k bubs
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Simon had been going through a lot lately, and you could tell it was taking a toll on him. He had been working overtime at work, and you could see the exhaustion in his eyes every time he came home.
You want to do something special for him, something to lift his spirits up.
The air was charged with anticipation as Simon stepped through the door, making you want to burst out of happiness.
You had been eagerly awaiting his arrival, eager to show him what you'd been working on all day. You had been so excited to do something special for him, and you had gone the extra mile to make this night perfect!
The air, still thick with tension, Simon walked through the hallway. He'd had a long, hard day at work, and the last thing he wanted was to deal with anything else.
Price had been nagging him more than usual on the mission. Simon was tired and just wanted to rest, but Price's constant barrage of questions and commands was starting to get on his nerves.
He tried his best to keep his cool, but he couldn't help feeling a little bit frustrated. Despite his best efforts, he managed to keep his emotions in check and focus on the task at hand.
After the mission was over, Simon was relieved to finally have a moment to himself. He just wanted to rest and have a good night, but there you were, being a nuisance to him.
You could see the weariness in his eyes, as if he were carrying the weight of the world on his shoulders. He shrugged off your attempts to engage him, not wanting to deal with the small talk.
As Simon dropped his collection of his military wears in the near cabinet, you approached him, your heart still pounding with excitement.
"Simon," you said, your voice trembling and a cheeky smile forming on your lips. "I've been working on a special surprise for you all day. I made your favorite snacks, decorated the living room, and even picked out a movie I know you'll love! I just wanted to make tonight special."
Simon looked up at you, his expression unreadable. "What?" he asked, his tone sharp and exhaustion palpable in his voice.
Despite his attitude, you pushed forward, eager to show him the cozy living room setup you'd created.
"Ta da!" you exclaimed, gesturing to the cozy space. "I wanted to make our movie night extra special tonight, so I went all out."
You'd decorated it with fairy lights, set out the popcorn and drinks, and made sure the couch was nice and toasty with a mountain of blankets.
"I just wanted to do something special for you," you added, your voice light and upbeat.
Simon's expression fell. He looked at the setup as if it were an annoyance, and you felt your feelings going down the drain.
You tried to hide your disappointment though and put on a cheerful smile, but it was hard to hide the hurt in your eyes. "What's wrong?" you asked hesitantly.
Simon shook his head, and for the first time, you saw the signs of his stress and turmoil. His lips were thin, his brow furrowed, and you could tell that he was struggling just to keep it all together.
"I can't take on one more thing right now," he said, his voice rising with frustration. "I'm exhausted. I can't deal with this right now."
You felt a lump form in your throat as you realized the full extent of your mistake.
"I..."
Your heart sank.
You couldn't believe you hadn't realized how tired he looked, how haggard and stressed. You had been so caught up in your excitement that you had missed the signs, the signals that he couldn't take on any more.
You had been so eager to do something nice for him, and in doing so, you had only added to his burden.
A tense silence fell over the room, and you could feel the tension rising between you. You wanted to comfort him, to make things right, but you didn't know how.
"I'm sorry," you said, your voice barely above a whisper. "I just wanted to do something nice for you."
As you stood there in silence, your heart racing and tears swimming in your eyes, he finally spoke.
"Well, don't," he snapped, his irritation evident in his tone. "I can take care of myself. And I didn't ask for any of these."
You watch as he points to the decorated living room. Your efforts. Your hopes of having a good night of movies with him.
You felt the tears spill over and course down your cheeks.
"I didn't mean to make things worse for you," you said, your voice trembling. "I just wanted to do something nice for you, to lift your spirits. I didn't realize..."
Simon sighed, running a hand through his hair.
"I appreciate the effort, really I do. It's just..." He trailed off, searching for the right words. "Can you just stop being a bother? I can't take on anything else right now. I'm already stretched so thin, and I can't..."
You felt your chest tighten at his words.
You had always known that Simon was a hard worker, but you had never truly appreciated the toll it took on him. You had always been there to support him, to lift him up when he was feeling low, and you had always assumed that he would do the same for you.
At that moment, you realized that you had been asking too much of him. You could see the exhaustion in his eyes and the slump of his shoulders.
The realization hit you like a punch to the gut.
Your voice barely above a whisper, you managed to say, "I... I understand. I shouldn't have pushed you like that."
You could feel the hurt in your chest, like a physical pain that made it hard to breathe.
“Stop being a bother.”
The tears were already falling down your face, and your heart ached with the weight of your mistakes. It was just a reminder of how much you loved him and how desperately you wanted to be with him.
Simon didn't utter another word, just nodded his head, but his silence spoke volumes. An oppressive and heavy sense of unease permeated the air, leaving no doubt that there was nothing else to be said.
You stood there, feeling numb and defeated as you watched him leave to the bedroom.
You had learned a difficult lesson that night, and one that you would never forget. The road to happiness was not always smooth, and sometimes, even the people we love the most can hurt us without meaning to.
Tears filled your eyes over and over again as you realized how much your effort was taken for granted.
In that moment, you didn't understand why he was being so cruel to you, especially when you had put so much thought into making him happy.
All you wanted was to see Simon smile.
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A/N: okay.. well.. he was an ass.. HELP simon pookie why would u do this to us? :(( we even made you popcorns and and even bought you your favorite drinks :(( we had to even ask ur best bud soap what kind of movies you like :(( we did so much for you :(( but it's okay ig. . . as long as you can have your rest. . . and well. . . goodnight :((
lmk if you guys need a part 2 cuz i be crying in my sleep
EDIT! part 2 is posted !!
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tumblingxelian · 4 months
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A Necessary Post - Yang, Taiyang & Seeing Red
I debated this being a message or a note or a reblog, but ultimately this warranted an essay. Because a hatred of nuance is not even remotely the reason why Tai is critiqued as a teacher or father.
With that fact in mind, let's begin:
During RWBY Volume 4, Episode 9: Two Steps Forward, Two Steps Back Taiyang has a great deal of critical feedback for Yang regarding her fighting style, personality & Semblance.
The issue is that Tai's words and advice when compared to what we saw on screen before & afterwards demonstrate he does not understand how it works or how she used it.
So here for your reading pleasure if a more or less line by line breakdown of Tai's advice and why I don't feel it holds up & more to the point, why I don't believe Yang utilized it.
Taiyang: Do you realize that you used your Semblance to win every fight after the qualifiers?
Yang rightfully points out that her using Burn is no different than anyone else using their Semblances. I would add that Yang's Semblance only serves to enhance her already present abilities with damage taken in a fight. So her not using it would be stupidly holding back extra energy for no reason.
Tai's critique also fails to register that when using her Semblance to take out FNKI, Yang specifically disrupted the ground so Neon could not skate effectively & used the boost in power to turn Flynt's own weapon against him.
I will be addressing Mercury further down but she used it effectively and intellectually here and to great effect.
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What's more, every other fights fighting style, weapons or both were literally built around their Semblances. Yang's threat level remains fairly consistent without her Semblance, all three of these other characters take a huge dip.
Taiyang: Because not everyone else's is basically a temper tantrum.
Ignoring that calling the manifestation of Yang's soul a temper tantrum is another in a long line if dickish things Tai says to Yang. Her Semblance literally does not work that way.
Her anger has jack and shit to do with it, this has been explained & demonstrated time and time again. Yang only gets a power boost when she's been injured, the fact she tends to be angry when using it is because being hurt sucks and she's usually in an intense fight. When the fight is going well and she still gets to use it she's not angry, as seen with a pleased smirk here:
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So as before, Tai's critique is bereft of any merit, Yang's Semblance does not work that way.
Taiyang: I'm serious! Once you take damage, you can dish it back twice as hard, but that doesn't make you invincible!
Cite a time Yang thought she was invincible, cite it provably that Yang thought, said or indicated that she felt she was invincible. You can't because Yang never indicated as such this is something Tai is assuming about her at best.
& no her jumping in the Nevermore's mouth is not an example because she was not using her Semblance, did not take damage, it was a very effective strategy & seemingly either part of the plan, or was so easily understood that it could be safely and reliably worked into the plan. She wasn't using her Semblance here but finding evidence of risky behavior was hard, especially with her Semblance, go figure.
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In fact every time Yang used her Semblance she did so only because someone landed a blow, which just happens in fights sometimes.
Taiyang: It's great when you're in a bind, but what happens if you miss? What happens if they're stronger? What then? Now you're just weak and tired!
We know what happens when Yang misses, she can swing again!
After the first blow on the Paladin she missed & needed help to catch it, her missing had zero impact on her Semblances.
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As to what happens if they are stronger, um, she loses, that sometimes happens in fights. Its not something Yang can do anything about by holding back on extra strength. Not to quote Qrow but sometimes bad things happen. Other characters losing to stronger opponents don't get given this kind of diatribe's because its pointedly obvious that there was nothing to be done about it.
& on the final piece, she was very pointedly not weak and tired after using it. The only times she has been shown to be is when she was extremely low on Aura regardless in which cases not using her Semblance is a death sentence.
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So again, we've established Tai's critique comes from nowhere & his understanding of her Semblance is nonexistent.
Taiyang: But you gotta keep your emotions in check. Keep a level head, and think before you act. Your Semblance is a great fallback, but you can't let yourself rely on it.
This is so painfully unfair it hurts.
No other character gets this kind of shit for expressing emotions in combat. In fact we see characters expressing emotions in battle all the time. Nor has she stopped displaying emotions in combat:
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I already outlined how in all two of the Yang fights Tai actually witnessed she used strategy and retained excellent combat form. So again, baseless claims from Tai.
What's more, Yang primarily does use her Semblance as a fallback rather than rely on it in these fights. She only whipped it out against Mercury when he'd unleashed his seeming kill move on her and was confident he'd won.
Not using it here would be dumb and make no sense.
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Yang doesn't rely on it to save her, she deploys it when it makes sense to & she has the energy or the need. This is more than we see from many characters.
Taiyang: It won't always save you. Obviously.
So now he is critiquing her for a fight he didn't even witness & knows jack shit about. So let's break this down once again:
Yang has spent the last 24 hours questions her sanity.
Yang's new home (Her words) is burning down.
Yang's sister is missing in all this chaos.
Then Yang's partner gets fucking stabbed, and the guy who did it is standing between them with a sword & gun, with fire all over Grimm all around.
Anything Yang can do he can counter, she tries to go around he only has to pivot. If she tries to fire from long range she might hit Blake. She tries an earth shock wave, she launches Blake into the fire.
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She quite literally had no others options & zero time to try anything else because he can just shoot or stab Blake whenever he wants.
Taiyang: You definitely have your mom's stubbornness.
This, this right here is where all this is actually coming from. Tai is once again projecting Raven onto Yang despite them frankly having almost nothing in common.
With most of Yang's visible personality tells being inherited from Summer, such as the mother daughter shoulder check of V9. Thanks to chittychittyyangyang for the GIFs
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Or as outlined in some songs with Yang's side of the lyrics explicitly citing how she is trying to fill the Summer shaped void in their lives.
Like the smell of a rose on a summer's day, I will be there to take all your fears away.
Taiyang: Your mother was... a complicated woman. Like everybody, she had her faults, but those faults are what tore our team apart. And, it did a real number on our family.
Tai blames Raven for tearing their team apart. Save that by all accounts, barring her absence things seemed to be going fine. Qrow seemed to be present in their lives, Tai looked happy, the girls were happy & Summer at least seemed happy though we know she was covering up a lot of dread.
Keep in mind Tai is projecting Raven, the woman he blames for destroying the team and damaging the family onto his daughter who literally kept the family together after Summer died. Yang's established this, Ruby has established this, its canon.
Yang: I had to pick up the pieces. I had to keep things together. Alone. (pause) Weiss, if you have something to say, then say it. Ruby: If you thought we wouldn’t come for you, then you must’ve forgotten who raised me.
Tai was not the one holding that home or family together. Unless you think the writers are gonna randomly swerve & say both Yang & Ruby are big whiny liars for some utterly nonsensical reasons. So no, I don't take him seriously as a narrator or critique of Yang, I have no reason to.
But let's push on, because I'm not done.
Taiyang: You both act like the easiest way to tackle an obstacle is through it. (pointing at Zwei) That strength is all that matters in a fight.
Ah yes, Raven, the woman famously known for thinking the easiest way to deal with an obstacles is to tackle it head on. That's why she spent years adorning herself in a Grimm helmet that hid her eyes & raised a False Maiden to serve as her body double.
A woman so inclined to rely on her own raw strength that when she was ambushed by Salem's forces she decided to trick them into an ambush.
Then when fighting Cinder and was at a disadvantage she freezes her in place while making Cinder think she is going on the offensive leaving her to be crushed by Stalactites & also utilized mind games to distract her & deal the finishing blow... Cos she only relies on strength.
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As to his final piece of advice I already address it up above, there was no way around Adam, the situation was fucked from the start.
Saying it was Yang's fault she was dismembered is no more than victim blaming, I stood by that in Volume 3 to to this day & beyond.
Taiyang: But if you just take a second look, then maybe you see... (walking toward her, stepping around Zwei) there's a way around as well.
But let's actually look at Seeing Red & if Yang listened to Tai's advice or if she not only ignored it but did the opposite of what he ordered.
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Let's see she goes in with open aggression & emotions, and also takes many blows rather than going 'around' them somehow.
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Yang, as if she were 'indestructible' outright tanks a massively charged up Aura beam for the purpose of increasing her strength.
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Then burns through all of her Aura & Semblance energies delivering one direct blow, relying on it to save her & leaving her weak & tired.
Or in other words, she:
Yang didn't miss, but we know that isn't a real issue anyway.
Yang used her Semblance to 'win' the fight & very much did rely on it to save her.
Yang expressed anger & many other emotions in the battle & still continues to does so.
Yang willingly took huge risks that involved her being able to take tons of damage rather than go "Around" the problem.
Yang knew Adam was likely stronger given it was 2 V1 but relied on her Semblance to get her out of that bind and she was in fact left weak and tired.
This is also the first time she has done several of these things, or otherwise demonstrated these traits, such as being left weak and tired or willingly tanking big attacks rather than just being hit by surprise or due to being overwhelmed.
I don't take Tai's advice seriously because none of it was accurate or aligned with the Semblance we saw in action or had described to us.
I don't trust Tai's opinion on Yang because his take on her is explicitly informed by Raven & not the Yang we spent four & then five more volumes getting to know.
I don't take Tai's words over Yang's, Ruby's or what we see on screen because Tai is at best a secondary or minor character & a recurring theme in RWBY is the failure of older generations.
These failures are not just in the past but how they have been consistently failing the next generation as the story is being told. There is zero reason to think Tai is some magic exception to this narrative trend when much more well explored characters like Maria, Qrow, Ozpin, Ironwood, Raven, and hell, Summer Rose are not.
& that is my stance on that, thanks for tuning in!
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gorebonk · 28 days
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I'm just so fucking sick of queer people being spat out by big fuckass corporations who couldn't care less that our rights and lives are being taken away just so they can make some spectacle for their own benefit
Queer people cannot be erased we're not going anywhere ANYWHERE so fuck you if you think you can push us into your fucking attic until you decide to play with us again for profit and reputation
Stop cancelling queer shows, stop pretending you can stifle us and fuck you for giving queer people hope over and over again that maybe this time you'll care
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roseytoesy · 18 days
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since I’ve noticed a bunch of negative energy on tumblr lately ima post something sweet.
I found the love of my life because of vore. I like vore because of the way it comforted me during times when I felt so alone in my own head. That online sonas and stories I would insert myself into and daydream about being so wanted that I’d be devoured and held on all sides. So cared for and loved and appreciated.
vore can be whatever we want and so can our tumblr experience. Let’s keep making things despite the drama. If people wanna whine let them. Just ignore and move on. They will shut up eventually.
I love this community despite the ups and downs. Maybe one day I’ll draw shitty little stick figures or rough outlines of vore on my phone to share and try and make someone laugh.
just keep going. That’s how we win
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oceanwithouthermoon · 1 month
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maybe its just me but i cant stand when people are like "it just doesn't sit right with me how teruhashi thought about aiura 🥺" like yes... its not supposed to ??? because her thinking badly of other girls and prioritizing male validation over everything is one of her main flaws ??? can we talk about that WITHOUT making it seem like shes not allowed to have a single actual flaw without suddenly becoming an awful person? nobody can handle complex female characters at all and its so fucking annoying
#you guys all missed the point of her development AND her and saiki's relationship development#like did you miss the parts where the only times he genuinely seems to not like something she does is when shes mean to other girls#and he still understands that she isnt a bad person for having bad thoughts in the private comfort of her mind#and besides... in this case she was literally just being a dramatic and insecure teenage girl LMAO#like dont fucking lie to me and tell me when you were her age you didnt have similar thoughts#youre worse than her if you lie about it while judging her for it#sorryyyy#she shouldve been MORE unhinged youre all just cowards#AND ALSO ? how can something even be 'mean' if its just a thought#thats like if u opened ur friends private diary without permission and then unfriended them over something they said in a random upset vent#and in this specific situation if u found out ur friend called someone a bitch because they liked the same person as her ??#LIKE THATS ?? its bad but its not as crazy as you guys make it out to be#shes allowed to be angry and insecure in the privacy of HER OWN MIND#idk if this makes sense but i just feel that her thoughts are more of a concern about her wellbeing than anything else#like she canonically is extremely kind to others even when she doesnt want to be so why are we worried about how she treats others.#theyre fine. im worried about HER.#and WHY her mindset is so negative... but u guys dont give a shit because u cant handle even a spec of complexity#sorry ive said all this before i just like to rant#saiki k#tdlosk#the disastrous life of saiki k.#teruhashi kokomi#meows post
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enixamyram · 2 months
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Okay, I don't know how many people here listens to Epic The Musical about Odysseus. (Fantastic songs, can't stop listening to them myself.)
But I'm kind of flabbergasted by the TikTok videos I keep seeing where people are more pissed about Eurylochus opening the bag than Odysseus sacrificing six men???
One was admittedly a really stupid move and Eurylochus should be held accountable even if it was an accident but Odysseus literally picked six people to die without them even knowing. Like, if we're gonna compare situations then Eurylochus' mistake is better matched with Odysseus telling the Cyclops his name (another stupid mistake). Why are people comparing a dumb mistake with literal murder??? And why are people saying Odysseus is the better choice in it?!?!
Like, am I the crazy on here???
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largemandrill · 7 days
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I desperately need people to stop saying afab when they just mean cis women. I also (for separate reasons) need them to stop saying “afab trans people” when they just mean trans men they don’t agree with.
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thatstuckietherian · 1 month
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i feel bad for not like making any original posts as of late and just reblogging random stuff on my blog
ik this is my space and stuff but i made this blog to share my experiences but ive been so busy and tired lately ahhh
+ i think some of my disorders are getting worse and i dont have any professional help :( things have just been stressful as of late
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whereismyhat5678 · 3 months
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Hey.
I’m gonna be off Tumblr for more than a few days. I’m sorry this is so sudden but I think I need a little break from the internet for a while.
I don’t really know when I’ll be back but I think for now I’m just not gonna be active.
I hope everyone is doing well, I just need a break.
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dragonbma · 3 days
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Hey guys. Quick shop update. My Etsy account is currently suspended and I’m not entirely sure what happened. The issue occurred while I was working on a custom order so I’m hoping I just messed something up there, but until I can get this figured out, uhh. Pray for me because I’m genuinely scared I messed something up. :[
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rotbtd-edits · 7 months
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/vent incoming.
This . . . is Berk. A bit trampled, and busted, and covered in ice, but it's home. It's our home. Those who attacked us are relentless and crazy. But those who stopped them? Oh, even more so! We may be small in numbers, but we stand for something bigger than anything the world can pit against us. We are the voice of peace. And bit by bit, we will change this world. - Hiccup in HTTYD2
And this here kinda summarizes why I want to pretend the 3rd movie doesn't exist, because it just undid everything the first 2 movies (and tv shows) had established before :))))
"We will show the world dragons and people can co-exist, and we've been successful in defending our homes and lifestyle! No evil tyrants will bring us down! Oh what was that? An evil dude is after us again? Welp I guess we were wrong all along, time for the dragons to skedaddle into a small hiding hole then!"
:)))))))))))))))))))
/vent end.
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meatsex · 4 months
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btw, im writing this because i actually mean to post it somewhere else but because i think i should say it aloud if i can get my thoughts in line: its not anyone's job or duty to help me, or to cheer me up, or to fix me or to take care of me, you can message me if you see me having a public breakdown, but its ultimately not your business, and im only saying this because im tired of having to deal with the repercussions of things i didnt ask for, i know people want to help me, i do and i appreciate it so much, but not if later its going to turn into a "why do i even bother" or "you are too much" or if its outright making you feel bad even, cuz well i never asked to feel this way, and i obviously appreciate the support i get when i feel bad because if i post about feeling bad here its because i do want the acknowledgement, but dont do it if its only going to turn into any of these things, please, in the end its not only hurting you but also me even more
ideally i just dont post when i feel bad which im trying to, if im doing better or not at that well god knows im too busy to think about it now
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anxiety-party · 5 months
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I’ve been thinking about ninjago again lately and I need to talk about the skybound season and how they bring up Jay being adopted and it’s never explored any further! He didn’t even tell anyone about it goddammit!
Didn’t he go to see his real dad after everything got reverted? I mean he might as well since he was gonna die in a few days!
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pekoeboo · 1 month
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ugh. some thoughts.
really been trying to find the joy in drawing/writing again and honestly it's been such a challenge. friends have told me it's most likely depression that's making it hard to feel motivated and tbh they're probably right.
hoping to get back into being creative in the way I Want to be at some point tho. I miss it. there's still so much with my stories and characters that I haven't been able to share or explain and I wish I knew how without it feeling like this daunting, impossible task.
I don't know when I'll get around to actually sharing art again (or writing, if ever). was hoping that I'd manage to get some of my mental and physical issues in check recently for just long enough to get back into the swing of being creative, but that hasn't seemed to work. everything feels bad, both artistically and physically. I'm struggling to keep up with the frantic pace at which my brain comes up with story concepts and intriguing character interactions, even tho everything in me wishes I could turn it into tangible artistic expression so I can get it out of my head and share it. it used to be easy. I don't know why it's not now.
I'm just . tired, I guess.
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