#I’m sorry. I’m just not feeling very okay at the moment.

[monstersflashlight]

Patreon Commission for anon!

Request: alien x orc x human with human reader and NSFW please. Something with some angst and fluff mixed in.

A/N: Sorry for all the "alien boyfriend" and "orc boyfriend", brain wasn't braining today. This has a fair amount of hurt/comfort, enjoy!

Intergalactic idiots

Alien x orc x fem!reader | angst with happy ending, body worship, oral sex

You are anxiously waiting next to the ER door when your orc boyfriend walks in with the saddest face you’ve ever seen. “What is it?” You ask immediately, knowing well that for him to be alone, for him to have called for you to be at the hospital when they arrived… something must be very, very wrong.

“There was an accident,” he announced, looking at the floor. And your alien boyfriend is nowhere to be found, so it must be something bad with him. Something happened and your heart is beating fast and hard, making you want to scream.

“What? What happened? Where is he? Is he hurt?” You ask in a quick succession, feeling like the weight of the world falling over you at the thought of losing him. Losing either of them, but right now you can’t process the fact that he could have been hurt, too. You can only process the fact that your alien boyfriend is not there, and that means he’s been hurt.

He sighs heavily and lets out a teary: “He- He got shot.” As soon as the words leave his mouth your tears are running down your face.

“You promised! You promised you would take care of him!” You scream at him, you are hitting his chest with your fists, not really hurting him but needing to let out your frustration and pain.

He cries, too, his body sagging as he lets you hit him. “I- I know. I’m sorry. I failed you. I failed both of you.” If you were in another moment of your life, if your anxiety wasn’t so high, you could have said something, that it wasn’t his fault, that he had nothing to worry about and you were glad he was okay… But you didn’t. You couldn’t.

You could only imagine the worst and your body froze in place as you ask: “Can- can I see him?”

“Not yet, darling, the doctors are working on him,” his voice soft and placating, but you don’t want to hear it. You don’t want to hear him talk at all, your brain wants to blame someone and he’s there. He was there when your alien boyfriend got shot…

You don’t even realize how his hands are bloody and his face is stained with tears. You don’t realize his hands are trembling and his body is scratched in a thousand places. You sit there in silence and don’t accept his hand when he offers comfort. You two fall silent, sitting next to each other but barely moving as the time ticks.

Time passes, you don’t know how much, but when a naga doctor appears, you are on your feet and walking to her instantly. Your orc boyfriend follows, but you don’t mind anything at all, you only need to know he’s alright. “Is he okay?”

And she says the most precious words: “He will be.”

It takes a whole week for your alien boyfriend to be back home. An awful week where you don’t talk to your orc boyfriend, you barely see him at all. You don’t sleep together, you don’t go together to the hospital at all, and when your alien gets back home, you two walk awkwardly around each other until he gets tired of your shit.

You are organizing the wardrobe when your orc boyfriend walks in and you don’t say anything. Your alien boyfriend realizes instantly: “What is it between you two? You barely spend time in the same room, you are not touching each other. Or me for the matter,” he adds the last part just as a joke, but you flinch at his words.

You let out in a short breath, your heart beating fast as everything that has happened comes crashing into you. You feel bad, you feel so bad, but you don’t know how to fix it. You acted like a really bad girlfriend, you were shitty to him, and you don’t know what to do about it. And now your alien wants to talk about it and you can’t avoid it anymore.

“We… We are okay,” you let out, the lie tasting like ashes in your mouth. Your orc boyfriend is looking at you with a pained expression, and you swallow around the knot in your throat.

Your alien boyfriend sits on the bed and calls you out: “Bullshit. What happened?” He asks, looking between you two.

“I failed you,” your orc boyfriend says and your heart hurts for him, you want to go to him and hug him until the pain goes away, but… but you don’t know if he would welcome that, and it hurts more than it should.

Your alien boyfriend looks shocked. “You what? No, you didn’t. You think you did?” He points at your orc and he shrugs, and then points at you. “And you think he did?” You shrug, not wanting to answer, either. “You are both stupid as fuck. Come here,” he orders.

“But the wounds…” You try to argue with him, but he looks at you with those eyes that drive you in instantly, making you shiver.

“Come. Here.” He repeats. Both of you obey, walking to him like he’s pulling invisible strings.

You sit next to him, your orc boyfriend sits on the other side, and you both look at him expectantly. “You are the glue that keeps us together, you know that,” your orc boyfriend finally says.

“No, I’m not. What keeps us together is how much we love each other, and the fact that you two have been walking around eggshells around me and each other because of something neither of us is at fault in is incredibly stupid.” You two remain silent, knowing ful well he’s right. Your eyes are full of tears and you feel about to burst into sobs, but the comforting presence of your boyfriends keeps you controlled. For about two seconds before he says: “And what’s even worse, you two haven’t been touching my dick or your own parts and it shows.” You laugh between your tears, feeling the knot in your throat slowly dissolving as you hit his arm without any strength. “Ouch! Hitting the wounded alien, what a mean human we have here…” He jokes more, making your tears run free within your laughter. “Oh sweetie, don’t cry…” He lets out, his tone going soft.

And then your orc boyfriend is looking at you with a panicked expression. “Don’t cry, darling, please, you know it drives me insane to see you cry…” You know it does, he gets crazy and panics every time you cry because he doesn’t know what to do, how to act, tears really scare him.

“I’m sorry,” you choke out, trying to sniffle and making the most awful sound as you start to sob uncontrollably.

“Shit,” they both say at the same time, their arms coming around your body and getting you in an alien-orc sandwich. You cry more while they hug you tightly between them.

“I thought you were going to die,” you sob. “I was so worried.”

Your alien boyfriend kisses your forehead. “I know, sweetie, I know… But I’m okay. I swear.” He looks over your shoulder and orders to your orc boyfriend: “Tell her I’m going to be okay.”

“I- He… I-” He starts but can’t finish the sentence, a single tear running down his face and making your heart squeeze painfully again, another ugly sob escaping.

“You too?” The alien says, exasperated.

“I was worried, too, you asshole! I saw you bleed, I held my hands to your bleeding form as you passed out. I was scared shitless that you were going to die and it would be my fault.” You listen as he explains and you feel like the worst asshole in the world. He suffered, too. He was worried, too. And you acted like a jackass and made it even worse for him. And for you. You denied yourself of the comfort you thought you didn’t deserve and hurt him in the process. What a shitty girlfriend.

“It wasn’t your fault. It wasn’t nobody’s fault.” Your alien boyfriend explains, now rubbing his hands in both of your backs, trying to calm you down. “Now come on, kiss each other and say you are sorry for being stupid,” he jokes. “It’s not a suggestion.”

“I’m sorry,” you both say at the same time, a teary giggle escaping from your mouths as you kiss each other sweetly.

But it soon becomes frantic and passionate. For someone used to kiss and fuck every day, spending more than a week without any kind of action has been a pain for all of you, and it shows. You hate that your alien boyfriend was right. He’s going to be insufferable about it, you can already tell.

You break apart and look at him, lying there with a hand inside his pants, rubbing up and down. “You are a pervert,” you joke, licking your lips and looking at his covered erection.

“Oh, I know… And you are, too.” You blush, looking down because you know he’s right. “Now, are we going to fuck or what?” He let out bluntly.

You look at him, and think about the literal hole in his side that is still healing. “But you are wounded.”

“My dick works fine,” he says, lowering his pants enough to show you his pretty white dick, already glistening with precum.

You think about it, you want to tell him no, you can’t have sex, but you feel desperate. You feel needy, you need to touch them and be reminded they are okay. They are alive. And so are you. “You… You can’t move,” you finally said. It should be okay if he doesn’t move, right?

“I can’t?” He says, looking at you with a puzzled expression.

You both say in unison: “No.”

You lean against your orc’s chest and whisper against his ear: “Should we tie him down?” He nods. “You take the balls and I take the dick?” You add, bemusedly. He pulls back and nods, a big smile framed by his tusks. You lean down and kiss him until you are breathless.

“That’s not fair, you are forgetting about me.” You look at him and he’s pouting, his big black eyes looking into your soul with a glint of arousal mixed with some desperation. You shiver, but say nothing as you take your orc’s belt and tie it around your alien’s hands and the headboard, immobilizing him. “And you say I’m the kinky one?” He asks between laughs as he tries to move his hands and realizes you tied it more securely than he expected. You start unbuttoning his sleep shirt as he struggles, your orc boyfriend taking his pants off slowly. “Wait, I’m going to be the only one naked here?” He asks, still trying to break free and earning himself an annoyed look as you both stop what you are doing to look at him.

“Yes,” you say at the same time.

He stops struggling and looks between you two, frowning without eyebrows, which makes him look kinda funny. “That’s not fai-” He doesn’t get to say anything else before your orc boyfriend wraps his lips around the tip of his alien dick.

He breaks into a big moan as you start kissing your way down his torso, being very careful about his side wound. You kiss the edges of the bandage around it and keep going down, your tongue tracing the ridges of his torso as he shivers. You keep going down, not forgetting to kiss even an inch of his beautiful torso until you are face to face with your orc. He has his lips wrapped around the tip of your alien’s dick, not even doing much, just sucking like he’s a lollipop he’s enjoying. You ignored the struggle before, but hearing your alien whimpering and groaning as if he’s being tortured turns you on so much you can’t stop from slipping a hand inside your panties.

Your orc boyfriend realizes first: “Don’t you dare touch that pussy, that’s mine to please,” he growls, pulling back from the dick he was sucking. You smile at him cheekily and peck on his lips, rapidly ignoring him in favor of taking his place.

He grumbles something and you feel his hand slipping next to yours as he goes down and takes the alien balls in his mouth, rolling them around messily. You can only hear his filthy sounds and your alien’s whimpers. Soon, you are groaning around his shaft too, the orc’s dexterous fingers rubbing your clit in the most amazing way possible and making your brain go blank for a second, your groans joining the symphony of sex in the room.

“I’m about… I’m gonna…” You hear the warning over your head before you feel his dick opening and the little tentacles holding your face down as he comes in your mouth.

The first time was a surprise, but you’ve come to love when his weird dicks does alien things, it’s exhilarating to know he can hold you down in more than one way. But at that moment, as he releases inside your mouth and you keep sucking, your tongue lapping at him as your orc boyfriend sucks his balls like they are his favorite candy, you feel hotter than ever, your pussy so wet around the orc’s fingers you are two thrusts away from exploding.

And then you feel it, the flicker of your orc’s finger against your clit and the burning sensation in your lower abdomen as the orgasm takes you by surprise, your mouth occupied as you groan around alien dick and fall apart around orc fingers. Your brain short circuits for a second, ad your vision blacks and you can’t have any coherent thoughts as your orgasms takes over your body and brain. It never ceases to amaze you how great the sex has been since you three started dating, who would have thought thruple sex would be the best of your life?

When you come down from your orgasm and the alien dick-tacles (dick-tentacles you know) in your mouth finally release you, you fall flat against the mattress as your orc boyfriend laughs over you both for being fucked out and boneless. “Are we good now?” He asks.

“What? No!” Your alien exclaims, surprising you. You look at him with a question in your eyes. “He hasn’t come yet,” he explains, looking at your orc with a smirk on his face. He blushes in the prettiest shade of green and you want nothing more but to maul him… sexually.

“I can fix that,” you say, throwing yourself at him and trusting he would catch you. He does, and you kiss him senseless, your hand reaching for his erection.

You hear some struggling and then your alien is pouting again. “Is nobody going to untie me?” He says in the most whiny tone ever.

You two break apart and look at him with a smile as you say in unison: “No,” and laugh loudly. He grumbles some more as you two kiss again, your hand rubbing his erection.

“I regret forcing you to solve your communication problems,” he lets out grumpily. But you know it’s a lie. He’s smiling big as he struggles against the restrains and you jerk your orc’s boyfriend and he watches.

Everything would be alright.

[djarins-cyare]

WIP Wednesday

Well, the Roll-A-Trope Writing Challenge deadline is fast approaching, and I’m 6 chapters and 18k words into what has turned into something waaay lengthier than it started out! So sorry, teacher, I think I’m gonna need an extension on my homework deadline.

Meanwhile, throughout September, I’ve been tagged in various WIP posts by @the-mandawhor1an, @burntheedges, @nerdieforpedro, and @for-a-longlongtime (thank you all 💚), so under the cut, you’ll find a little midweek offering of my now somewhat out-of-control Secret Relationship trope fic...

***If you haven’t already, you may wish to read my first WIP post before the one below, as this one references the earlier one.***

“He raised you?” Mando sounds incredulous. “Why is that weird?” He sighs. “It’s not. Well… it might be. Sleeping with the guy’s niece was one thing, but you’re like his kid—” “Stop there,” you demand with steely ferocity. “First, I am not a kid in any sense. I don’t need to see your face to guess you’re not that much older than me. And, like you, I’m an adult and can make my own decisions, so no kid references, please. Second, whatever his reasons are for keeping us apart, they don’t matter because once I leave here, none of this ever happened. Right?” Your mini tirade is met first with silence, then a chuckle. “Has anyone ever told you you’re bossy?” His amusement diffuses your mock indignation, and you smirk. “You kind of have to be when you grow up here. You don’t think you can handle me?” You shift a little closer to him on the couch. “Oh, mesh’la,” he drawls, his voice casual but with a fiendish edge. “I’m a bounty hunter by trade. You think I haven’t dealt with people far wilder than you?” Kriff, yeah. There’s that confidence you saw last night when he indirectly requested an orgasm before you went to bed. Sure, it’s nice to know that there’s a sweet and awkward guy beneath the warrior exterior, but this is what you find attractive in him. The confident, intimidating hunter. You visibly shiver and press your thighs together at the thought, and he chuckles darkly. Yeah, you just gave away your desires. Still, he doesn’t move yet. You feel like he’s waiting to pounce… emphasis on the waiting. “Okay then, Mandalorian,” you goad with your head held high, almost daring him. “Show me what you’ve got.” There’s a pause as he tilts his helmet slightly, and it lingers for long enough that you start to wonder whether you said the wrong thing. You were just keeping up the banter. Why has he suddenly gone silent? A few more moments pass, and your second-guessing becomes mildly frantic. But as you bite your lip and furrow your brow, Mando releases a deep hum and rumbles, “Mm… better.” Suddenly, you realise. This is not a contest of wits, and he’s not in the mood for sexual banter. He wants to be in charge this time. Well, you were in control last night, and he did say he would pay you back. Plus, he’s spent a whole cycle being unable to control anything due to his injuries. It’s becoming clearer how he sees this going. And you’re very much on board. Now that you understand, you try again. Tucking your chin down, you look up at him through your lashes and soften your tone. “Please, Mando…” “Mm, good girl,” he praises, and heat sparks to life in both your chest and your cunt. “Please, what? What do you want?” You think back to the dialogue that led to the blow job. “Please, will you make me come?” At last, he moves, reaching for your lower thigh and running his palm slowly upward, leaving flames in its wake. “My helmet stays on at all times, non-negotiable. If you touch it, this stops, understand?” “I understand.” Apparently, lifting it to help him drink last night was a one-time deal. “Good. Then, yes, cyar’ika, I’ll make you come.”

Tagging the folks who showed interest in my first snippet as well as those on my permanent tag list. Those of you who write/create and would like to share something with the class, please feel free to do any type of WIP post (Wednesday, weekend, weekday, whatever) if the mood takes you, no pressure 💚

@5oh5 @604to647 @almostfoxglove @ashleyfilm @burntheedges

@captainredspade @cheekychaos28 @chiyo13 @cw80831 @dindjarins-big-tiddy-goth-gf

@djarin-desires @djarinmuse @drewharrisonwriter @ella-whyte @evolnoomym

@fhatbhabiee @fromthedeskoftheraven @grogusmum @here-briefly @hillarymurray4

@itsjuststardust @jessthebaker @joelalorian @j-p3g @lahooozaherr

@lark-of-mirkwood @latenightswithmiller @lilac-boo @magpiepills @mandoloriancookie

@mosssbawls @nebulanibbles @nerdieforpedro @newpathwrites @none-of-this-makes-any-sense

@prolix-yuy @roughdaysandart @secretelephanttattoo @sidoniyablackwood @sixhours

@syd-djarin @the-blind-assassin-12 @theetherealbloom @the-mandawhor1an @thundermartini

@toomanytookas @vikingqueen28 @whiskeyneat-coffeeblack @whocaresstillthelouvre @whxtedreams

@wrathkitty @yopossum @you-give-aspirin-headaches

[basu-shokikita]

Skwisblocked, a Klokllege fic

I really like @kaanagen's Klokllege AU about the boys going to college, so I decided to write a little one-shot based on Skwisgaar and Toki's dynamic in it. You can read the full post of her AU here!

Plot: Toki comes up with a bit of an unusual method to deal with his (seemingly) unrequited feelings for Skwisgaar.

As usual, full fic under the read more but you can also read it on ao3. Amazing art by Kaana also 🫶💖

As usual, they had the last shift at the antique shop, which means it was their job to close the thing down, leave the place tidy and make sure the door was locked so no accidental shoplifting happened. Again. Toki wasn’t looking to get fired, so he was extra cautious with the keys now.

By the corner of his eye, however, he noticed a girl standing outside. She had long brown hair, silver hoops and a denim jacket over her loose, airy dress. A customer that came too late?

“Um, sorries, we ams closed.” He told her.

“Oh, no, it’s okay.” She smiled. “I’m just waiting for someone.” Her eyes darted to the inside of the store before looking away.

Ah. 

Toki went back into the store and heard Skwisgaar whistling as he arranged the boxes behind the desk, totally unaware of the exchange that had transpired. Toki opened his mouth and then closed it, choosing to turn off the remaining lights instead.

He liked Skwisgaar. He really liked him. What was there not to like, anyway? Skwisgaar was handsome, cool and really talented at the guitar. Maybe he was sort of grumpy, but it only added to his aloof demeanor. So it wasn’t surprising to him at all that he was so popular with girls.

That didn’t mean he was happy about it. 

__

About five minutes later, they were coming out of the back of the store. As Skwisgaar dunked the plastic wrap on the trashcan, Toki dared to ask. “Anythings funs for tonights?”

Skwisgaar closed the trashcan and rubbed his hands together. “Sleeps.” He walked down the alleyway, with Toki following quickly. “What abouts you?” A sly smirk. “Hangs with the college bands nerds?”

Toki wanted to act offended, but he couldn’t hold back a smile. “Very funnies.”

“Ja, dats my second names.”

“Reallies?”

“...Noes.”

Toki hesitated for a moment. “Does you wants to eats-”

“Hi!” They had barely crossed to the pavement when the girl came running to them. Before any of them had time to react, she continued. “I came by the store earlier.” She bit down her bottom lip, glancing at Skwisgaar.

“Oh.” Skwisgaar grinned. “Finds somethingks whats you likes?”

She giggled and, if there was any doubt remaining in Toki’s mind about her intentions, it was completely gone now. “You free tonight?”

“Wells-”

“W-We ams abouts to goes eats a borgers!” Toki impulsively got in between them. “We ams really hungries after works.” He rubbed his belly dramatically to emphasize the statement. “Buts you cans come pals if you wants?”

The girl’s gaze alternated between the two of them with surprise. “Sure?” She said, kind of confused. 

Skwisgaar raised an eyebrow at Toki but said nothing. He wasn’t lying, he really did want to ask Skwisgaar to grab dinner together. And just because he didn’t manage to get the words out before she arrived, didn’t mean he had to give up.

Right?

__

“Byes!” Toki bid his classmates farewell, before making his way for his next class. Although, checking his mail, he realized the professor had canceled the class that morning. Awesome, that meant he had time for a quick nap under the sun. Maybe pet some of the kitty cats in the grass. He was so grateful that this college allowed cats to lounge in the park, it was the perfect distraction on stressful days.

Merry on his way he was, when he spotted his other favorite distraction sitting at a nearby table. “Oh!” He raised his hand enthusiastically. “Skwisgaa-” But the word dropped out of his mouth when he realized Skwisgaar wasn’t alone.

Toki hid behind a bush as he spied on them. The girl sitting in front of Skwisgaar had blonde hair picked up in a high ponytail and rosy cheeks. She was wearing a white cardigan with a plain blue top underneath. Her auburn eyes seemed sweet and the way she stared at Skwisgaar was anything but platonic. 

Toki turned around and breathed in deeply, holding tightly onto his books. When he glanced at his books, an idea scoured his mind. 

__

“Skwisgaar! Skwisgaar!” Toki ran towards, shouting his friend’s name.

“Toki?” Skwisgaar called his name in confusion, only to be flabbergasted when Toki dropped his books dramatically on the table. “Whats?!”

“You gotsa helps me!” Toki cried out, pointing at his books. “This financements class! It ams killings me!”

Skwisgaar clenched his jaw. “Tokes, ams in the middols of somet’inks right nows.” He glanced at his companion. “You knows?”

As if he hadn’t noticed her, Toki turned towards the girl. “Oh, Gods! Cans you helps me? I has a tests comings up and-”

“Toki!”

“Oh, it’s no big deal!” She smiled gently and Toki almost felt bad for crashing their date. “Are you guys friends?”

“Ja!”

“Noes!”

She laughed heartily, extending her hand to Toki. “I’m Jennifer, Skwisgaar’s classmate.”

Toki extended his hand back. “Ams Toki!”

“Well, Toki,” Jennifer said, inspecting his books. “I think I know a thing or two about finances.”

He smiled, amazed that his plan had worked. “Reallies?”

Skwisgaar, on the other hand, was completely baffled. And Toki? Toki felt ecstatic over his newfound power.

–

From then on it just kept happening.

Like when Toki was heading to the club and he found Skwisgaar and a short girl with curly red hair at the fountain. The sun was setting which made the location all the more attractive, with the golden reflection of the water bouncing back on their faces. They were dangerously close, with Skwisgaar holding her waist, whispering sweet nothings into her so Toki had to think fast. 

“No ways!” He pointed at the couple. “Skwisgaar, you dumpeds Jennifers?”

Whatever romantic mood there was, it completely dissipated as Skwisgaar turned towards him like he had seen a ghost. “Heugh?”

“Jennifer?” She took a step back. “Who’s Jennifer?”

“Jennifers!” Toki answered quickly. “The sweet girls Skwisgaars was goings out with de other days! Why you does that, Skwisgaars? She ams so nices!”

The red-head turned towards Skwisgaar and he put up his hands instantaneously. “Waits-”

“Asshole!” She slapped Skwisgaar right across the face. 

“Augh!” Skwisgaar rubbed the swollen cheek. 

“Wowee!” Toki was surprised by the sight but she glared at him with anger. “Um,” He tried to look for candy in his pocket, as she approached him. “Does you wants-”

She smacked him in the face. “You too!” She said and strode away.

“Yous cheatingks on yous boyfriends, too!” Skwisgaar yelled at her, still massaging his cheek. “Whats?!” He barked at Toki.

__

Or when he interrupted Skwisgaar’s meet-cute at the library by constantly asking the girl about bugs. 

Or when he surprised Skwisgaar and the girl he was evidently planning to sleep with by waiting at his dorm because it was ‘guitar night’ and played songs for her under Skwisgaar’s annoyed stare.

Or when he kept sending drinks ‘on the house’ for the girl Skwisgaar had come with, at the bar he also worked part-time at. He got fired soon after, though.

Or when he-

“Dats it! Ams done!” Skwisgaar screeched, pants entirely soaked because Toki dropped soda on him when he was asking Skwisgaar’s date about her hand-made skirt. She left while laughing at Skwisgaar, obviously. “What does you wants?!”

Toki feigned innocence. “What you means?”

“You ams been ruins kings my dates for weeks! Weeks, Toke! Can’ts remembers the last times I gets laids!”

Pride swelling in his chest, Toki tried not to smile. “I just wants to pals, Skwisgaar! And dese ladies ams so nice soez I can’ts helps it.” He looked down in pretense shame.

Skwisgaar squinted at him for far too long, and Toki feared he had seen his through motives. “...You wants a goils?” He asked.

This could be the moment. This could be it, when he finally admitted to Skwisgaar how he felt. In the american movies Toki had seen, this is when the confession would happen. And Skwisgaar would like him back, and they would be happy forever after.

“Uh, ja! I wants a goil…friends, haha…” He scratched the side of his face, laughing awkwardly. Reality wasn’t so perfect like those movies.

“Wells, den just says dats.” Skwisgaar rolled his eyes. “I cans sets you up with somes goils. Just stops beingks dildos.”

“Haha, okays!” Toki agreed, slinging an arm around Skwisgaar’s. “Whats abouts a Marios Karts before works?”

Skwisgaar’s face was still severe, brows furrowed when he looked at Toki. However, his expression swifty softened. “Fines.”

“Hoorays!” Toki cheered, pulling his vintage console from his messenger bag. “Ams gonnas destroy yous!”

“Eugh, keeps dreamingks, littol dildo.” Skwisgaar said, though he was smirking. “Mademes Peaches and me ams a pretties good teams.”

“Yoshis and Tokes ams betters!” Toki countered, laughing too.

As they walked away, he wondered if he’d ever have the bravery to tell Skwisgaar the truth. If he’d ever had the courage to ruin what they had for a meek gamble. 

Perhaps one day, but definitely not this one.

[fortheloveoffanfic]

What if this is the last time I see you?

Hozier x fem!reader

Author's note: I'm sorry that I haven't finished one angsty story before forcing another onto you. But this one is shorter, I promise.

Summary: A chance run-in between exes at the farmers market leaves Andrew wondering if he’ll be okay never seeing Y/n again. Part 1 of 2.

Warnings: ANGST

At first, Andrew thinks his eyes must be playing tricks on him. But the longer he stares, the more it makes sense – and the more it makes sense, the more he is convinced. A pop-up farmers market, a fruit vendor selling an assortment of brightly coloured, sure-to-be sweet, freshly picked fruit. Or so he says.

She’s wearing a jacket that he swears he’s seen before, but it could’ve very well been on a mannequin in a store front and not in her closet – or on her body.

But he’s certain that its her. She’s carrying the basket in a way that’s all too familiar. She’s looking at strawberries and those are her favorite in the summer. It must be her.

So it must be divine intervention that he drove past the farmers market and decided to stop, because Andrew usually gets his produce at the grocery store, on the occasion that he’s home for long enough to do his own shopping.

Setting down the bright, glossy apple he’d been holding onto for a criminally long period, he inches towards her little section of the booth, debating what he should say. ‘Hi’ doesn’t feel like enough, but he fears that if he takes a chance with anything more he might stomp all over their impromptu reunion. He doesn’t want to be too much;

What a funny thought, he thinks. Considering the whole reason for their end was because he wasn’t enough.

Well, that might be a bit of an unfair distribution of blame. He’s pretty good at playing the victim where the demise of their relationship is concerned.

By the time he reaches her, Y/n has already placed a few strawberries into a plastic baggie and is looking for a few more to round off her purchase. And he settles on the very measly and shamefully uneventful; “hey.”

Surprised, Y/n jumps slightly and twists to face him, eyes going wide. “Andy, oh my gosh, hey.” She hesitates for a moment before reaching out for a hug that becomes quite a clumsy endeavor. They don’t seem to know each other as well as they used to; he can’t tell if she’s reaching for his neck or midsection, so their limbs get tangled in a strange manner. “Sorry,” she mumbles bashfully when the whole thing goes on for longer than any ‘I haven’t seen you in five years’ hug should take.

Shrugging off the unwarranted apology, Andrew stuffs his hands into the pockets of his dark jeans in an effort to keep himself from touching her again. “How have you been?” He tries to sound nonchalant, but his gaze drips to her left hand, looking for any sign of a ring. And when there isn’t one, he feels a knot in his chest loosen a little.

“I’ve been….” Y/n trails off, as if the question is the hardest one she’s been asked in a while. In some ways, she supposes it is. Is she supposed to lie to Andrew? Tell him she’s fine and happy and her life is going fantastically well when the truth is she hasn’t been able to scrub the memory of him from her mind and she still buys his favorite brand of tea because when it brews, the smell makes her house feel a little more like home. “I’ve been alright,” its something between the truth and any lie she can tell; she is alright. Alive and healthy, if only a little sad sometimes – but who isn’t, right? “You?”

Andrew fumbles with his words, he’s not sure why but the question feels almost taunting. Why would she throw that back to him? Why wouldn’t she just assume that she’s stowed the best of him into a box and taken it along with her? Everyone else sees it, they tell him he hasn’t looked the same since she left, that he talks differently and he’s truly a little depressing to be around sometimes. “I’m…..okay.” Just okay – not good, not bad, but somewhere in limbo, surviving.

At his response, Y/n nods absently. God, he wishes he knew what that meant. He wishes he still knew her well enough to know what anything she does means. There used to be things that only he understood about Y/n. There’s a version of her in his mind that still whispers in the dark, even if they’re the only people in the room, and ensures all the cutlery in the drawer is packed in the same direction. There’s a version of her that might have tilted her head at his response, and told him that she knows that ‘okay’ is never just ‘okay.’

But this is someone else, someone he doesn’t know. But he loves her anyway.

He’ll love every version of her. But at least he’s only lost one.

“You’re probably the last person I’d expect to run into, here especially,” but maybe she doesn’t really know him that well anymore. Maybe he goes to the farmer’s market every Sunday now and they’ve just been missing each other.

Maybe he goes with his girlfriend - a wife even -and right now she's at another vendor. She's going to be back soon. And she'll be beautiful and Y/n will think; no wonder he let me go so easily, because he knew there was better was out there.

Shaking off the unsettling thought, Y/n adds, “you used to get everything at the grocery store.”

“You used to grow everything yourself,” he notes, not maliciously though. It's really just an innocent observation; he wonders why she stopped.

“I guess…..we’ve changed,” Y/n muses, and a little sliver of her wonders if they’ve changed enough to make it work for a second time around.

“Not too much, I hope,” but what he really means to say is; ‘I hope we’re still the kind of people that can love each other.’ “Ehm,” he clears his throat softly, and finally gathers the courage to ask what he’d been thinking about since he discreetly examined her finger, “seeing anyone?”

What a question! Simultaneously, it makes her want to laugh and cry. “Not right now, no.” Of course, she’s seen other people since their break-up, but nothing ever sticks, and that might be because every man is now measured to Andrew; does it taste the same when they kiss her? Hold her hand the way he used to? Do they tell the same sort of jokes or thread their fingers through her hair before falling asleep? “What about you?”

Andrew waves his hand dismissively, “no one serious,” there isn't really anyone at all, but he doesn’t want to seem like he’s a complete wreck and one more white lie can’t hurt.

“Good,” the word slips out almost without thought, and Y/n quickly shakes her head when Andrew arches a brow. He isn't supposed to know that she's relieved; that he just quashed one of her biggest fears - that there's another woman that knows him as well as she does, but couldn't love him half as much, “well....not good. Just you know….you’re good at being on your own,” he was pretty damn good on his own even when they lived in the same house, “so I’m sure you’re doing good,” god, she wishes she had stopped talking three minutes ago.

Hesitating, he bites his tongue as the urge to tell her that he's not okay and it's all her fault wells up. Didn’t she see the lie in his eyes when he said he was okay? Is he that much of a stranger to her now?

Again, Andrew shrugs halfheartedly, “I’ve been okay,” he repeats before pressing his lips into a thin line. He doesn’t trust himself to add anything more, because then he’ll say he still misses her and its been far too long for him to still be mourning an empty side of the bed and the sound of her laughter in the drawing room.

He shouldn’t still go into his home studio and still expect her to come trailing after him, armed with a book with the intention of curling up on the sofa that gets just the right amount of noon sun. He shouldn't miss the way she looks while humming along softly to what he's working on, blanket draped on her folded legs, hazy light washing her face - he shouldn’t have left her blanket there after all this time.

He shouldn’t even be thinking about it, because the more he does, the more he wants to tell her. Beg Y/n to come back – to take him back because he’s really only half himself without her.

“I should let you –”

“You probably have –”

“Sorry.” Another clumsy, awkward apology, this one in aching unison. There’s silence for a while, and Y/n tugs her lower lip between her teeth. In a way, it feels like they’ve been standing there for too long, at least, like this. Not knowing what to say to each other, with the nails of her free hand digging into her palm so she doesn’t reach out to touch his arm. It shouldn’t be like this, she never wanted them to come to this; reduced to two awfully familiar strangers. “I should um….I have to….go…” She goes to say home, but the word doesn’t come, “I gotta go, Andrew.”

Swallowing the lump that’s been caught in his throat since he first saw fifteen minutes earlier, Andrew nods stiffly. “Of course,” he breathes. The last thing he wants is for her to leave, but he doesn’t really have any right to keep her. “I’ll leave you to it.” They both nod that time, shy and unsure but no one leaves. Not immediately. His eyes stay matching hers, and there’s a hundred things weighing down the tip of his tongue, but clinging to it like molten sugar.

I'm sorry I let you walk out, I'm sorry about everything. I still keep your ring in my nightstand, just in case. My mom still asks about you. I should've been better, let you in and I know that now. I'd do it now. I'm actually horrible on my own now, because you've ruined me in the best way - and the worst. But he doesn't say any of it; the moment is long gone and his pride does a pretty good job at keeping him quiet.

A shuddered breath escapes her lips upon realizing that she actually hasn’t moved an inch; Y/n doesn’t think she can be the one to bring herself to leave this time. She doesn't want to turn her back to him again. So she lingers, and she swears roots are sprouting from the soles of her feet, keeping her in place, staring into his eyes because lost in them is suddenly the only place she wants to be.

“I should go,” he eventually determines, glancing away. Though, the minute he says it, Andrew is lashed with immediate regret; he does not want to go. He doesn’t want to leave, but he suspects that this time its entirely on him to turn around and walk away.

“Right, right,” Y/n blinks quickly, then, just as he’s about to turn, she interjects, if only for the purpose of holding him there a little longer, “it was really nice seeing you.”

He nods, but doesn’t say anything, not right then. Though, when he turns away and starts retreating to the other end of the small tent, squinting his eyes at the midday sun, catching him square in the face, he pauses. Throwing a cautious backwards glance her way, he finds that Y/n has returned to picking out strawberries and on a whim, Andrew finally allows himself a singular moment of weakness – perhaps in a way of giving her what she’s wanted since their very last fight. “I’ve missed you,” he utters.

Y/n’s head snaps up just as she hands the bag over to the vendor for weighting, “what?” Her brows are furrowed and her lips are slightly agape.

Hating the sudden vulnerability that comes with those three little words, he shakes his head, “nothing. I’ll see you around,” he spares her a short wave, and she does the same.

After that, not a single word is traded between them again; Y/n pays, plops the bag into her basket, and walks off, and he watches her go. There’s a sinking feeling in his chest as she weaves her way through the busy market, and there’s a strange sort of finality in the moment where the last inkling of her green jacket disappears.

What if he never sees her again? What if that moment, in that tent, surrounded by fruits honeyed by summer’s warmth and the bitter heartache of something unfinished, constitutes the last fifteen minutes they will ever share?

What if she’s gone from his life forever and he’s damned to an eternity spent looking at her pictures and never hearing her voice again? Wondering what she’s doing and if she’s finally moved on from him?

Can he survive it? Truly? Without feeling like a shell just being shuffled around by the wind?

Returning to the assortment of ruby-toned apples, he struggles to escape the onslaught in his mind and Andrew finds himself unable to choose any, not even one, so he goes with strawberries instead.

To be continued.....

[humanitys-strongest-brat]

Kintsugi - ch. 2

Pairing: Coach!Levi x Injured fem!Reader

CW: major themes of injury, depression, and hopelessness. 18+ minors and ageless blogs dni.

wc: 3.2k

a/n: Reviewed and edited by the lovely @i-lev-you whom I am endlessly grateful for~

previous chapter

Heat radiates up from the pan over your wrist as you cook your breakfast, stirring mindlessly as you lose yourself in thought. The rattle of your phone against the counter interrupts you. Turning the stove on low you flip your phone over from its downward position to see Levi’s contact illuminating the screen. Immediately your chest tightens up. It’s only been two days since you last spoke to him. You let it ring for a few seconds before slowly sliding your thumb across the screen to answer. 

“Hello?” You hold your breath, hoping he doesn’t notice. 

“Morning,” Levi starts, his tone causing your nerves to fray more than they already were. “I reviewed everything you sent over and drew up a recovery plan. If possible, I’d like to go over it in person.” It’s still overwhelming to know just who it is you’re talking to.

“Okay sure.. When?” You ask. 

“Today?” 

Your eyebrows shoot up in surprise. Moving things along this quickly isn’t exactly what you expected to happen. “Yeah, I can make it in today.” You confirm. 

“Eleven work for you?” He asks. 

You glance over at the clock on the stove, seeing you had more than enough time to get ready “Perfect.” 

“Alright. Sina training center, left wing. My office is on the second floor. I’ll text you the address. See you then.” He hangs up and seconds later your phone buzzes with the address as promised. 

***

Sina Training Center is on the opposite side of town from the arena you trained at for Worlds. Having lived in this city for less than a year you’ve only ever seen it in passing. When you finally find a place to park it’s quite the walk before you make it inside, and when you do you’re shocked by the size of this place. It’s a huge lobby, different areas lead you to sport specific sections of the building. 

You head left and follow the signs that direct you towards the ice sports wing. On your way to the elevator you pass by the large window. Ice is on full display through this window, causing your stomach to tighten. You stop and observe as three girls train with their respective coaches on the ice. An ache grows in your chest as you watch them. 

When you step off the elevator onto the second floor and make your way into the waiting room, there’s a man standing in front of the door that leads to the offices looking down at an iPad. You walk up with the intention of politely getting past him, but when he looks up to face you your heart stops.

That scar is unmistakable. A clean cut that trailed from above his eyebrow all the way down through his lip. Small dots on either side from the stitches even after all this time, and a white glaze over his right eye. Even so, the man in front of you was breathtaking. It was definitely him. 

“Wouldn’t have made it very far,” he breaks the silence causing you to snap out of it, and you definitely feel like an ass for staring. 

“I’m sorry?” 

He quickly shifts to the left of the door revealing a key card scanner, “and I never mentioned which office was mine.” He sounds just like he did on the phone, so.. abstruse? If this wasn’t a professional setting you’d believe he already hated you.

 “Levi.” He states, extending his hand out for you to shake. You can’t help but stare. You’re standing in front of one of the most unrivaled skaters, even the accident couldn’t take that title from him. 

“Nice to meet you.” You finally muster up. He’s silent for a moment, seemingly observing you.  

“Likewise.” He finally says before looking back down and wrapping up whatever it was he was doing on the iPad. He holds it at his hip and digs through his pocket, pulling out a blue lanyard with the training center's logo lined across it, at the end hangs a small white card. “This is yours.” He says. You grab it from him and take a look. It’s a key card with a barcode and your name printed on it. “This will get you into any area designated for skaters, and past this door to my office.” You swear you can hear his voice lift at the second half of that sentence. “Follow me.” You nod as he leads you back into the elevator. Once you’re on the main floor again he points to the rink you passed on your way in. 

“That's the common rink, used for general training and classes.” He explains, leading you in the opposite direction down the hall and stopping at a pair of double doors. He presses his key card against the reader on the wall and quickly walks in as they open. When you follow in behind him, you’re stunned to see another large common area lined with equipment shops and a small snack bar section. To the right are two more ice rinks, one immediately to the right of the door you came in and the other’s entrance on the far wall straight across. “Those are the specialty rinks, I call them the rehab rinks.'' He starts, heading in that direction. “They both serve the same purpose though, one is generally used for the hockey team to train off-season. Eventually, we’ll be over there in the third one.” He gestures for you to follow him inside, scanning his card at the entrance. Your breathing nearly seizes. This is the closest you’ve been to the ice since February. 

“It’s our smallest rink. Reserved specifically for those recovering from injury who need a less congested area to work in.” He walks the edge of the boards with you in tow, eyes glued to the ice the entire time. “Locker rooms.” He says. You almost ran straight into him not noticing he had stopped to point them out. 

Circling back and crossing the large common area with you, he scans his key again. “This is the gym, and past that door is the PT area.” he points past another set of locker rooms. You’re already so overwhelmed, even for you this entire building was so high profile. You felt out of place. “For the next few weeks, we’ll be spending most of our time here.” 

You're so sick of physical therapy and just want to be back on the ice already.

As the two of you walk back out towards the elevators to get to his office, he looks over to you. “Do not use any facility without me there with you for now.” He says, and you can tell he’s serious.

***

Levi pulls a folder from his desk as you sit across from him. “Your current recovery plan is nauseating.” He says bluntly, dropping the folder onto the desk. 

You’re stunned by the quick change in his tone. “Excuse me?” 

“First of all, they set you up for failure before you even left the hospital.” He starts, pulling out printed copies of everything you sent over from the folder. “Ice? Really? Are we still living in the stone ages?” He scoffs “You should have been doing small movements for that ankle since day one, and I don’t see any recommendations here for that.” 

“There wasn’t..” You confirm, eyes so wide they could fall out of your skull. It was hard to believe how involved with your recovery he was, not expecting him to review your progress from day one. You figured he would just pick up along with where you already were. 

“Of course, and you weren’t referred to the proper resources. Standard physical therapy would never have gotten you back on that ice. It’s up to you but I think you’d do better full time here.” He says, shaking his head. “Christ, did your coach do literally anything for you?” 

You wince at the mention of Coach Tarasov, having ghosted her after she drove you home from the hospital. You haven’t reached out since, positive it’s too late now. Getting a new coach was just another thing you’d have to do to get yourself back up. “I didn’t really give her the chance to..” 

Levi hummed in response. “You moved on from basic balance too fast, that’s why you’re struggling so badly now. Balance is the most important part of this, you’re a figure skater. We’ll start our assessments there.” 

“I don’t have the time to start over.” You reply immediately. 

“Do you think you’ll have time when this happens again because you re-injured yourself?” He asks flatly and the question sinks deep. “You won’t, and we’re not starting over. I’m assessing where we are now.” 

We. 

“Okay.. you’re right.” You exhale and let yourself lean back into the chair. 

“I know I am.” He pulls all of the pages back together and slips them back inside your folder. “Three days a week. Monday, Wednesday, and Friday, seven to eight?” He asks as if it were a question. 

“Yes, that works.” You affirm. This was your only option and you had a feeling he knew that too.

He nods and pulls another packet out, sliding it towards you. “Review and sign these.” He says. Flipping through it you recognise it’s the plan he just went over with you, and you sign when prompted. He reaches his hand beside his computer and slides you another white card. “For the parking garage.” 

*** 

The next day you park in the garage and it’s a much easier walk inside, considering it happens to be attached to the skating wing of the training center. You scan your way in and head through the gym, and into the physical therapy room once you throw your stuff into a locker. 

When you walk into the room you see Levi talking to what you assume to be another employee. He’s tall, muscular, blond. It looks like he’s actually enjoying their conversation. The discussion seems to stop when Levi’s eyes find you, and he gestures for you to follow him. Racing to catch up with him, you see the man eye the both of you before turning to leave. 

“Who's that?” Curiosity gets the best of you. 

“Erwin, he’s a personal trainer in another wing.” Levi responds without delay. “Sometimes comes and bothers me between appointments.” As harsh as that sounded, you could tell it came from a place of adoration.

Levi has you sit down after taking your shoes off. You’ve been here before, it’s the same place you got assessments done the first time. You watch as he kneels down and sets the tablet beside him on the mat, gently pressing his thumbs into the front of your ankle and asking you to move your foot in several directions. He feels like a different person in this room than he was in the office or on the phone. He’s gentle and precise, jotting down notes in between every test he does, and making sure you’re comfortable. He's way more involved than your last therapist and you haven’t even gotten past the assessment. 

“Let’s try something.” Getting back onto his feet, he walks across the room and grabs an object from the ground. You immediately recognize it as a balance board. It’s a flat square board with a rounded bottom. He places it down on the floor and gestures you over. “Go ahead and step up here.” He reaches his hand out for you to grab. You nervously place your hand in his and step onto the board with your left foot, relying on Levi to support you while you find your balance. 

“Great.” He encourages, his tone setting off tiny flutters in your stomach as you attempt to balance yourself. He takes a small step back, seamlessly supporting the weight you’re pushing onto his hand. “I’m going to let go, see how you do here.” He says and waits for you to center yourself before slowly pulling away. He continues to hold his hands out in front of you, palms facing up so you can hover yours above incase you need help with balancing. 

Immediately after he retracts his hand your ankle shakes, a reminder of just how far behind you are. A few seconds later discomfort takes over, sending a sting up the inside of your leg. You let your fingertips fall onto his, your eye twitches as you try to avoid relying on him for balance. 

“How does that feel?” 

“It kind of hurts.”

“Stop.” He grabs your hand and helps you back down off the board. “Then we aren’t there yet.” He comments, jotting the notes down quickly. 

You let out a sigh, this is what you meant when you said you couldn’t afford to start over. “I should be on the board by now.” You think out loud. 

“Not if it hurts.” He quips, letting the iPad rest against his hip from the strap hanging off his shoulder. “If you can’t balance on that board you won’t be able to balance on a blade.” 

“I’ve been in therapy for weeks,” your thoughts quickly spiral, having the determination to recover means nothing if your body works so hard against you. “If I can’t get back on the ice by-“ 

“I’ll get you back on the ice.” 

Your thoughts lapse. The way he said it with such certainty makes you want to believe him that much more. 

“Look, I told you your last program was shit,” he sounds like he’s trying to be comforting “it’s not going to happen overnight, and definitely not with that attitude.” 

You don’t know how to respond to that. You know he’s right. Again. 

Levi leads you to the center of the room for mobility stretches, another exercise you’re more than familiar with. He watches as you shift your weight onto your right leg and tip your left foot outward, it doesn’t hurt but the pull is uncomfortable. You inhale harshly through your nose, pushing further against the strain. 

“Don’t force it.” Levi instructs, keeping a close eye on your form. 

You switch from stretching to the side to stretching your ankle forward. After going back and forth between the two for about 5 minutes Levi stops you again, moving on to the stationary board for heel lifts. You step up and let your heels hang off the back of the board, every raise has your ankle shaking. You watch Levi in the mirror in front of you, he has a peculiar look on his face. He slowly kneels down behind you to watch closely as you continue to rise up and down on the board. 

“Stop, get down.” Levi says firmly.

You oblige, immediately stepping back down onto the padded floor. Levi picks up the tablet and starts quickly swiping across the screen, eyebrows raised and lips pressed in a flat line. 

“Your old therapist,” he starts, still quickly filing through pages on the iPad, “did they massage that ankle.” 

“No.” You confirm his suspicions. 

“‘Course they didn’t.” He mumbles, rolling his eyes as he lets the iPad fall back down against his side. “It’s stiff.” He’s already walking back toward the tables.

You follow behind him nervously, sitting up on the table when prompted. You watch as he methodically washes his hands in a nearby sink. When he comes back he tells you to lay back. He stands at the end of the table, gently bending your foot toward him. You chew the inside of your lip as he slips his hand under your heel, pressing his thumb gently behind your ankle bone and guiding the pressure up. Your breath catches at the slight discomfort but it's slowly replaced by a sense of relief. He continues in that same upward direction, adding a gentle circular motion after a few moments. You turn your head away, fidgeting with your shirt as your heart rate seems to accelerate. 

You aren't sure what it is about him. From the moment you knew you’d be working with him it’s all you could think about. At first you chalked it up to admiration. Maybe it was the way he cared, even underneath all the dry conversation and formalities you could tell. Or maybe it’s the way he carries himself. Could be that he’s stunning, like a sunset that perfectly contrasts a clear blue sky. Even now, when he's right in front of you he takes up your mind. Just when you entertain it, imagine his hand sliding up your leg–

“Let’s try again.” His voice startles you out of your thoughts. 

You stand back on the board and Levi kneels down again. You lift up once more and your eyes widen slightly. Not only has the discomfort decreased but your ankle doesn’t shake as bad. It’s not perfect, you still feel the tightness and resistance. That last thing you expected was to make progress during your first session with him. You snap your attention to him, back on the tablet adding data. The corner of his lip upturned in a subtle smirk like he just found the last missing piece of an unfinished puzzle. 

“It was healing stiff.” He comments, switching you to another exercise. “You’re lucky we caught it when we did.” 

“It’s reversible?” You ask, but it comes out as more of a plea. 

“It is.” he confirms. You leave the session that day with a detailed print out of exercises from Levi, instructed to do them in the afternoon of your session days and twice a day otherwise. 

That night as you do them, his voice echoes in your thoughts 

I’ll get you back on the ice.

***

From that point on, your sessions start with a fifteen minute meticulous ankle massage. By the end of the first two weeks you can hold your balance on one foot for thirty seconds with minimal shaking.

Throughout your third week you make miraculous progress. You’re up to forty five seconds of balance on one foot, and painless single heel lifts off the floor and the stationary balance board. 

The last 10 minutes of your Friday session Levi has you balance on one foot and places a tennis ball down directly in front of you. 

“Pick it up.” 

You nod, extending your leg behind you as you slowly bend your knee. Once you have the ball in your hand you slowly rise back up, placing it back in Levi’s hand. He shifts over, setting the ball down to your right. Again, you lower yourself down and back up on one foot with ease. One last time he sets the ball down to your left. When you drop it back in his hand you bring your elevated foot back down to stay stable. He lets out a satisfied huff and walks away, returning with the balance board from a few weeks back and drops it down. He helps you up and this time you pull away from him, quick to neutralize your weight. You make it look easy now.

“Not bad.” His tone sounds indifferent but he has that same look in his eyes, he has it every time you hit a milestone. 

Like every win is yours to share.

On your way out, Levi stops to face you. He opens his mouth to say something but quickly closes it again, seeming to second guess himself. “See you next week.” 

Taglist: @amywritesthings @littlerequiem @humanitys-strongest-bamf @hideandgopeep 

@thechaoticarchivist @sixpennydame 

[thegoldheartlocketandkey-blog]

Season 7 - Episode 5

Buck: My date was right there and, as you can imagine, the night ended pretty quick. He left me standing outside the restaurant, and I just, I feel like a fraud.

Maddie: I’m-I’m sorry, who left you outside the restaurant?

Buck: My date.

Maddie: Can we go back to the pronoun?

Buck: Yeah, okay? I was on a date with a guy. Again not-not really the point.

Maddie: It could be very much the point.

I want to focus on the last line specifically. I really do believe Maddie wasn’t surprised by Buck’s coming out. The entire conversation up to this point was Buck feeling guilty about lying to Eddie. I want to believe Maddie knows Buck has feelings for Eddie and just isn’t aware of it himself. She’s not going to tell him this, she wants him to figure it out for himself.

Buck is the one that leads the conversation towards how he identifies with his sexuality and Maddie chooses to be an active listener in that process. She’s surprised in that moment, because although they never had a conversation around the topic before, she just assumed Buck was fluid in his sexuality and didn’t feel the need to come out.

I’m going to use myself as an example. Before I came out as Bisexual to my family, many of my family members assumed I was gay because like Buck, I would make pride posts. I justified my attraction to women as something normal. It felt like the people around me knew I was gay before I knew I was gay.

When I first watched this scene I was confused by Maddie’s confusion towards Bucks sexuality. But rewatching it, I really do believe her confusion was towards who Buck was projecting his attraction towards.

I could just be projecting my situation on to Buck, but that’s what theories are for.

[cafedanslanuit]

♡   —   pairing: bachira x reader

♡   —   tags/warnings: gn reader + no pronouns, lots of heavy teasing and joking, suggestive themes, pro football player bachira, isagi chigiri and kuni are there too, established relationship, comedy, fluff, feel-good fic

♡   —   words: 1k

♡   —   a/n: hello tumblr i'm baaaaasck!!! and with a story of meguru my beloved of course. i'm happy to come back with a feel-good fic. i love soft readers with bachira but i need him with a freak!!! someone needs to match his freak and this reader is about to do just that hehe. mwah mwah kisses for u all

♡   —  masterlist

"If you had to pick someone for me to fuck, who would you choose?"

You hum, already used to Bachira's random questions. Tapping your fingers on the wheel, you enter the highway as you give yourself a moment to consider your answer under his expecting gaze.

"You know, that's actually a good question," you admit with a chuckle.

"It is, right?" he grins, taking a sip of his drink, a refresher he got at the coffee drive-through he asked you to stop by as soon as you picked him up from the airport. "I was wondering about it on the plane."

"Of course you were," you tease.

"Hey! It was a long flight. I had already watched a movie and the guys were asleep," he justified himself.

"Ah, gimme." At your request, Bachira holds his drink up, the straw next to your mouth so you can sip on it. "Thank you, baby."

Bachira presses a kiss on your cheek. "So?" he insists.

"Okay, okay, before I answer I must know this,” you say, loving how he shifts on the passenger seat, eagerly awaiting for your question. “Do I get to watch?"

"Of course,” he shrugs. “ Would be rude not to let you.”

"True, true," you hum. "So, I would go with…"

A pause, for the sake of dramatic effect.

"Kaiser."

"Kaiser!?" he almost shouts, almost dropping his drink. "That's so weird, baby."

"I know," you laugh. "That's why I wanna see it happen, it would be so damn weird. I mean, either him or Reo. Both of them are very pretty."

"True, true," he sings, putting his now empty drink on your car’s cup holder and then bending his arms behind his head.

"And you?” you continue. “Who would you want me to fuck?"

Bachira’s eyes flicker with mischief at your question, shooting you a teasing grin before you look back to the road again.

"I think you'd go for Chigirin. And just because of that, I'm not gonna choose him," he says, sticking his tongue out to you.

You cackle out loud and Bachira can't help but look at you warmly. "Damn, okay― fair, I guess. If not him, then who?"

"Isagi. Definitely,” he answered in a heartbeat.

"I think that's more for you than it is for me," you tease, sparing him a playful glance, to which he laughs like a little kid, making your heart jump. "It's okay, baby,” you egg him on. “I'd make sure to put on a good show for you. Maybe even―"

"Can you guys stop being fucking weird for one second?"

Bachira turned to the backseat while you chuckled to yourself, your eyes on the road. Chigiri looked back at his teammate with an irritated gaze in between a flustered Isagi and Kunigami, who was doing his best to stifle a laugh.

“Isagi is about to throw himself out of the window,” Chigiri continued, gesturing to his friend, who opted to look away with rose-tinted cheeks, a nervous chuckle leaving his lips.

“I just never got used to them being so blunt about it.”

“See? He’s doing fine! You’re so dramatic,” you sigh in a playful tone. Turning to your boyfriend, you continue. “I think Chigiri's mad you didn't choose him for me.”

“What?! I’m not―”

“Fiiiine, you can have Chigirin,” Bachira said in an over-the-top dejected voice.

“I should've just taken a cab.”

“I’m sorry, we’ll stop,” you laugh, sparing a glance at Chigiri.

"I forgot how hanging out with you guys it's like having a double dose of Bachira," he sighed. Bachira turned to him and stuck out his tongue.

You chuckled. "Well, I mean, it is my new last name. Gotta play the part, right?"

"You truly don't look like newlyweds."

Your eyes flicker to the rearview mirror and find Kunigami's gaze on you.

"Ooh, harsh!" you whistle. "Didn't expect it from you."

His eyes widened slightly. "I mean it in a good way!" he assured you. "You look like you've been married for ten years or something."

A grin formed on your face and you turned to look at Bachira, who already had his eyes set on you. You put your hand on his thigh and squeezed gently.

"I mean, that's the goal right?" you asked, feeling your cheeks warm up. Bachira blew you a kiss before you looked back at the road once more.

"Man, only ten years? I was hoping for more."

"Nope, only ten, I'm throwing you out after that."

"Fine, I guess I'll move on with Isagi."

The car filled with the sound of both your laughter, paired with a couple of pained groans.

Maybe they had a point. You were well aware your relationship with Bachira was quite unusual. From the numerous trips abroad he had to make, plus the time he dedicated to football and the constant exposure to the media the both of you were under, perhaps the only traditional thing between you was your marriage― and even so, it could be labelled as an understatement. You did rent a theme park to host your wedding reception, after all.

Nevertheless, even with the endless teasing and scrutinising eyes of others, there was something rather simple in the way he made you feel. From the first moment he smiled at you, the thought that you were going to fall in love with him never left your mind. It was only proven right as the months and years followed and you found your heart still fluttering at each of his laughs.

He had a way of being, of existing , that made each day seem a little brighter. Loving and being loved by him was a gift you never took for granted and, given the way his fingers tenderly caressed your face when he thought you were asleep, it seemed he felt exactly the same.

As you continued driving, you listened to Bachira and the boys continue their chat, this time about one of their last matches. Just as you were trying to decide which route would be best to drop each of them at their places, your husband took the hand that was still on his thigh and rose it to his mouth, leaving a small kiss on it. Grinning, you blew him a kiss, already excited about reaching home and spending some quality time with him.

You truly hoped that, in ten years time, you were still this excited for ten years more.

[shiny-kaibernyte]

hey there! if you’re taking requests, can i ask for a drayton and/or kieran x a male! reader who has a very punk/alt style and looks pretty intimidating but is actually very kind? maybe the reader specializes in ghost/dark types too

regardless, i hope you’re taking care of yourself, i love your writing!

I really really like this! I'm so sorry it took me so long to get to this request! As a Ghost/dark specialist myself, i'll use Pokemon i have on my own team for convenience. If you don't like it feel free to yell at me for taking so long and mucking it up! ANYWAY Happy reading.

Warning: Small amount of Angst

Pretend | Kieran x Male Reader

“Kieran… you really shouldn’t rush this! It’s okay to feel nervous. You're not ready and that’s okay, please… don’t push yourself for something out of your reach.” Sitting opposite Kieran hoping your words would reach through to him, and yet the table seemed to only be a small part of the gap between you. 

A bang echoed through the dining room as Kieran slammed his fist on the floor, his voice coming out in a determined shout. “HELL NO! I’M READY I KNOW I AM! I’ll RETURN TO THAT WASH UP OF A SCHOOL AND SHOW EVERYONE HOW MUCH I’VE CHANGED!”

“Kieran calm down! I meant nothing by it, I’m simply saying, maybe wait another day before going back. After all, the spotlight’s going to be heavily on you… Are you… Sure you’re ready for that much attention?” Raising an eyebrow, a hint of worry in your voice, seemingly in an attempt to break through his facade and get through his shell.

Seems it worked

Kieran’s eyes fell to the floor, his head hung low, gripping his jeans so tightly. His knuckles turned white, and his palms read from the pressure. Tears began falling from his eyes, his voice coming out as nothing more than a shaking quiver of what it once was. “I don’t need you… to tell me that…”

“Kieran! I’m sorry please don’t c-” Barely a sentence out and Kieran’s voice breaks through your own.

“I’m not as strong as you… I can’t make people run from me the moment they see me walking down a hall… I can’t glare at someone like you can… make them show respect to you just by looking at them. You don’t even have to raise your voice… Just looking at you makes people's skin crawl. I’ve seen countless Pokémon hide behind their trainer or out right return to their balls… All because of how you look… Your team being all ghost types only helps you… The way you hold yourself up, I’ve never even seen you break a sweat… even in those outfits… How… how can I even comprehend facing that place again… With everything I have done to not only them… but to you? How can you sit across from me and show me the kindness you never show to others? How… Can you let me call you my boyfriend?”

“What are you talking about Kieran… where is all this coming from?” Unable to comprehend anything he was saying, your words only added fuel to this sombre fire within him.

“I Pretended… that’s how I got through. I held myself up by a thread, I pretended to be strong… I wanted to be stronger, I thought I was stronger than you… I needed to be stronger than you… To prove to myself I could protect you… the way you always have me. I pretended… Even when I never showed it to you, I followed you around like a lost Yamper. It’s dumb now that I say it aloud. Pushing you away from me at every step, and yet I admit how much I wanted to be like you… And yet after everything with Ogerpon… the academy… Area Zero. You never backed away from me…” As if a light switch had been flicked, his gaze was fixed upon your face, staring into you, with a look you couldn’t recognise, the tears that were still running down his face were no longer once of doubt and sorrow, but now determination and pride. “I see now… I don’t need to pretend any more. The thread doesn’t need to be held together any more, because it never existed in the first place. You… you were what was holding me up this whole time, I always wondered why I felt so secure around you. I thought before it was because of your alternative style and your Pokémon… That Chandelure of yours is intimidating, it alone took out most of my team. But now I realise you were simply trying to find me…”

A chuckle, that was all that escaped your lips as your arms crossed your chest, leaning back against the wall behind you. The lights on the ceiling blinding your vision as you stare into them, seemingly trying to find the words to compare what he had said, and yet you came up empty. Kieran’s words ring true in your ears. Seems his momentary outburst was all he needed to realise what you had been trying to do ever since the festival.

“What I'm trying to say is… thank you, for never giving up on me. When I met you, I thought you were this… delinquent waiting to punch the first worm you saw in your way, and yet, the way you smiled at me, was something I wouldn't give up for all the riches in this world. Why you chose me to give your kindness to, I will never understand. So again, thank you a thousand times over.” Kieran finally coming down from his outburst, his gaze softening as he played your meeting in his head.

“No need to thank me… You’re a good guy Kieran, don’t let those doubts get to you. I’ll always be here to hold you up.” That was the exact moment your Pokémon decided to show up. The sound of three poke balls opening echoed through the room, one of which caused Kieran to fall back off the pillow and onto the floor. Chandelure, Phantump and Ceruledge, all showing up at the same time. Phantump seemed to be the most affectionate towards Kieran as it flew around his head on the floor.

Chandelure spun for a moment in a silent celebration. Ceruledge simply stood by your side as you leaned forwards again, looking at your boyfriend on the floor. Kieran suddenly sprung up in almost a comedic way, only to be met by Ceruledge's piercing gaze. Though he wasn’t afraid, inspired is the word that came to his mind. A sparkle in his eye, and a bright determined grin, it would seem foolish to think just a few minutes ago he was crying a river into his jeans as voicing his heart's broken poetry to you. “I’m ready to go back! If I'm lucky enough to call you my boyfriend then I'm not going to back down again. Besides, even though I'm no longer leading the league any more, I still have a score to settle with Drayton.”

Your Phantump waved its arms around in the air, its cheeks puffing out for a moment as if trying to mimic Kieran’s new-found strength. “I’ll be right here with you, ready to scare off those who get in your way” The last part came out as a mockery, you wouldn’t really scare anyone, on purpose that is.

[whereismyhat5678]

Hey.

I’m gonna be off Tumblr for more than a few days. I’m sorry this is so sudden but I think I need a little break from the internet for a while.

I don’t really know when I’ll be back but I think for now I’m just not gonna be active.

I hope everyone is doing well, I just need a break.

[zorosdimples]

knowing i should take a step back from tumblr for my own wellbeing vs. being emotionally attached to this app and the people on it

[rouge-fauna]

I think you’re talking about these posts [here & here], I don’t know if there have been others.

I'm not gonna say what I did was right, you are correct I should probably just not respond to asks getting me to talk about other people. I will say for these two posts those people had already blocked me I’m pretty sure, so it’s kinda hard to talk directly to them in that case. And I was not doing so anonymously and had not blocked them so I wasn’t hiding what I was saying. I did not follow them, I am not part of the innitor community, and not that that makes it right but I do think it is kinda different. Though you make a good point, perhaps we should stop this pattern of responding to asks about other blogs and such.

Still, the biggest thing to me I realized, back in elementary school when I first dealt with this, was that honestly all the time we talk about people behind their back. Talking about people when they aren’t always in the room is kinda just inevitable and part of socializing, however I think the important part is how you are talking about other people. It’s when you are insulting them, talking negatively about them to people they know, spreading false information and so on that it becomes not okay. Hopefully that makes sense.

In these cases I merely focused on the lore. I didn’t insult them or talk shit about them, as a person, as a blog or say their takes were stupid or they are stupid or speculate about their trauma or mental history. I just talked about reasons why I disagreed, or saw things differently and why we might see things differently. They were also not the only ones I saw to say similar things so I think in my mind I was making more of a general discussion, not trying to target them specifically. I didn’t post beyond that about them. But you are right, regardless it was probably not the right way to go about things.

But just to be clear, if I am a hypocrite it is not my intention. I haven’t vague blog anyone or meant to vague reblog anyone. I think this week is pretty much the first time I’ve ever been not naming, passive aggressively talking about blogs, and even then I’m not trying to insult them, trying to cancel them. I’m just expressing that before you go off about how I’m stupid and unable to have a discussion about it, the very least you could’ve done was give me an opportunity to try.

[blushy-tigerrr]

vent in tags sorry

cw: mention of loss

[castielmacleod]

Very picky about how people write reconciled Crowley and Rowena and even MORE picky over how people write reconciled Cas and Claire. These are the two absolutely devastating spn relationships that you just do not fuck around with in my opinion. Reconciliation plots for them can be done well but if you’re going in on either dynamic without giving the experience of both sides equal consideration then as a writer you have already lost

[tarantula-hawk-wasp]

Idk if I’m over or under stimulated but I am one of them and I feel like I want to disintegrate into dust like that one sea critter that the video of it twisting in a spiral and then bursting into its cloud of babies to reproduce.

[hyperfixationtimego]

every time I see someone say their favorite executions were sdr2’s, I lose a couple years off my life I think

[merriclo]

ahsjkds rant/vent in the tags