#sorry for rambling ahahaha

[hanabeeri]

i am forcing myself to finish little women. because aaaah i'm so sad and not satisfied with the way things are ending.

jo is basically like alcott herself in many ways, alcott didn't want her to marry anyone initially, which is fine - but to marry her off to some old man that "tamed" her free spirit is so AAAAAAH frustrating!!! the same if teddy!!! he didn't want to fit into the world that was already set for him, he didn't want any of it and he was still paired up with the one sister that appreciated good manners and the old world more than anything; that quite literally tamed him, too.

burn me on a stake but i will die with the belief that jo and teddy should have been together. if not as a married couple than as lovers to defy societal standards of the times. and i know deep in my heart that they would have fit 😭 ms alcott once i'm dead i'm finding your soul and you will sit through days upon days of my crying because NOOOOOO!!!! if jo really HAD to marry someone it should have been the only man that didn't try to change her!

they deserved so much better. the relationships felt so unnatural and forced. i can get behind the marriage of meg and john, it's sweet and as traditional as it gets. but jo and teddy could have been the complete opposite. and the relationship between them was building up!!!! like you could tell he really liked her from an early point :(((

JO YOU DESERVED BETTER THAN SOME GERMAN OLD MAN 😭😭😭😭😭 she deserved a teddy that would have defied societal expectations and norms, a relationship between them may have been fiery and at times fierce but you can't seriously think that a boy who was set to reach his full potential in his studies to make jo love him, wouldn't have done more to keep the love going? it just doesn't make sense. and maybe, maybe i'm just a little bit misinterpreting and coping (i am ahahaha) but i truly do believe that she would have fallen in love with him for real :( if only he would have tried at a later time when he was more figured out. not tamed, not more mature or nursing. but independent, when he would have realized that he shouldn't have had to impress her in the first place, that she loves people for what they are not for what they try to be 😭

but i do understand that my thinking may be too progressed for the time alcott lived in. perhaps she was forced to alternate a lot of things. but it still doesn't do anything to console my heart :(

anyways. i'll finish the book today. and then i will need some good therapy.

update: therapy won't be enough. I CANT DO THIS ANYMORE 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭 why must books hurt me like this, everytime omg 🥹🥹

[stormboundstars]

all these talk about reboots of already successful book-to-screen adaptations, when you can craft highly entertaining spin-offs from 19th-century classic novels. concoct what-ifs from the canon material and turn them into reality. put that one minor character you thought was kinda cool into all sorts of Situations. make them be uncomfortable and struggle in their new role as the protagonist. make that social commentary cheekier while keeping it accurate. Dickensian with a....twist, as one would say

[linkedsoul]

One of my Italian colleagues told me I have a Russian accent when I try to speak Italian so if anyone needs to be in Goncharov, it should be me

[veetowervaporwave]

I feel like voxval are primed for a hanahaki au

Not the regular kind (don't care for that), but the one where the flowers are literally the manifestation of repressed feelings, and the longer you try to hold them in or suppress them, the worse it gets. And the only cure is to confess.

They're both so prideful they'd rather choke on their feelings than admit them.

[katotaines]

⭐HAPPY BIRTHDAY SUBARU!!!!⭐ (ﾉ  *≧▽≦)ﾉ *:・ﾟ✧

[jazzzzzzhands]

If I ever stop drawing him, assume I DIED

[i-tzi]

POKEDDEXY DAY 1: BUG TYPE (#988)

Another year, another Pokeddexy!! 🎉

I honestly don't know how much I'll be able to combine because objectively January is kind of a shitty month for me lol

But WHO CARES, enjoy my boys, see you again at the end of the challenge if I'm still alive lol o|-<

[three-leafed-clover]

day three - bread @nosebleedclub

i went to church with my parents and the pastor was talking about the origins of communion and how jesus broke the bread and said that it was his body. and all i could think about was that someone had to make that bread. someone had to harvest the wheat so they could do it. 

and i remember how my best friend was so convinced when we were teens that she was born alone and that she would die alone. with no one to ever love her. 

at the time, i was very annoyed by this sentiment. i was there, so clearly she was not alone. i was there, and did i not love her?

and presently, i still say no, you’re wrong. your birth involved the pain of your mother. you had doctors, and nurses, who washed you off. you had sisters, and they held you when your mom said it was okay. 

someone made the bread. someone tilled the soil. someone planted the wheat. harvested it. ground it into flour, and made a yeast starter, and fed the chickens so they could have eggs. so many people were involved in making the bread. the body. 

i loved you. i love you. it’s not a great romance, but it’s something. i’m sorry if it’s not enough. 

and even if you don’t die in a house made by other people, even if you die in the middle of the fucking woods somewhere. well. humanity has been around for many centuries on this continent. at minimum, someone else was here too, once.

[ran-orimoto]

Do you have any explanation why in the anniversary merch Junpei is opposed to Mercury and not Grottemon like in the series?

Well, I admit it stroke me as weird too, but taking in consideration Blitzmon is from the Metal Empire I can see him in opposition to Steel, more than Ground honestly. If Blitzmon turns to be black/green in the new BT from June, the matching would be confirmed.

And am I complaining????? Mercurymon is into theatre, Junpei is into opera. The Takuya VS Blackseraphymon battle has got no longer sense to me any more when we could get two men of stage fighting and understanding each other about “acts” , “finale”. THEY GET IDEAS TOO LATE WHEN IT COMES TO JUNPEI, OK, I’M TELLING YOU.

I wonder if Junpei would have a rivalry with Teruo ngl. Teruo looks a bit lame to me, but I can imagine him being, idk, a COUNTER-TENOR Junpei suddenly meets on stage.

I CAN TOTALLY SEE IT. NOW I KNOW.

[jaydawne]

Samuel Ramblings

As concluded by the poll, I shall now ramble about Samuel on as much as I can that I haven't mentioned yet already. So, without further ado~ Here is Even More Info™️ about Samuel under the cut (WARNINGS: Mentions of; Purposeful misgendering/deadnaming, physical and verbal bullying, obsessive behaviours [potentially parental yandery], death of a loved one, very long ass post)

So, I've already given a basic rundown on Sam in general, but now you get his

~Backstory~

(I'll get to his other interests and such in another post probably, this got a lot longer than I thought it would) So, Samuel essentially grew up in a household where he was very much loved and cared for, however the way said love and care went was a biiit, askew to say the least. His parents were very helicoptery, wanting to know everything going on with him at every given moment, even going so far as to pull him out of school in order to keep a closer eye on him and teach him things themselves (It is at this point that I think I might have accidentally made his parents kinda yanderey, but without the whole killing thing. Not sure but I'll add that to the warnings/tags anyway just in case). Admittedly another part of that was because Sam was often bullied for his appearance, the other kids finding him to look too weird to be normal, calling him mean names, excluding him during playtime, stealing his food, general mean little kid stuff, but it still didn't really excuse pulling Sam out of school altogether. They even went so far as to put a tracker on him so they'd always know where he is. They're also very in denial about Samuel being trans, calling it a 'phase' and insisting that he's still their 'precious little baby girl' no matter what he says or does. Luckily though, it wasn't all horrible all the time, Samuel had his uncle, Boris, and his little cousin Brody, who had the same heterochromia as him, just in opposite eyes. Boris was a wonderful uncle, he adored and accepted Sam and always did his best to tell Sam not to listen to anyone who tells him to be anything other than himself. Boris taught Sam many things both fun and practical, like how to play a guitar, lock-picking for just in case purposes of course, basic self defence and cooking, anything he could that he thought Sam might need to know in the future. He knew Sam's parents wouldn't teach him anything that would help him survive away from them, so he wanted to do everything he could for him so that if Sam were ever able to get out, he wouldn't be completely unable to help himself. Brody, meanwhile, adored Samuel, and wants to be 'just like him' someday. He's pretty much more like a little brother to Sam than anything else, and he thinks his big cousin is just the coolest ever, and often refers to him as 'Samsam'. They were practically inseparable whenever Samuel came over, also cheering and hugging each other tight when they saw the other. It always made Boris smile to see them so close. Unfortunately though, things couldn't be this happy forever, because when Samuel was 10, something happened to Boris that caused him to pass away (I'm still undecided on what that is, either illness or car accident), meaning Samuel no longer had a safe space he could go to, and Brodi had to go live with his grandparents who live outside of the US. Thus, Samuel was alone, but he wasn't out of hope. He'd had enough. So, he did the only rational thing an 10 year old could think of: he ran away from home Psychonauts anyone? No? Okay then- Admittedly, it did take him a while to do so, but he managed by the time he was 11, and had also taken out the tracker so they couldn't find him. He took a lot of measures to make sure they couldn't find him for a while at the least... This is how he ended up coming across a junkyard, intending to lay low there for a bit until he figured out how he would earn money in order to live on his own. At least, that was the idea, until he ran into a pre-mutation Repo Mantis (who I will be calling 'Manny' as 1. he is not a mantis yet and 2. I yoinked the name from @/rottmnt-risuum , go read their comic it's so good, just mind the gore if you're not into that). Luckily, however, instead of kicking Sam out, he decided to make an offer; Sam can help out in the yard in exchange for cash and a place to live until he's able to make it on his own, to which Samuel accepted. Manny may be a greedy guy, but he ain't the heartless type to leave a kid to rot.

 From that point on for the next roughly 2 years, Samuel would help around the yard, doing tasks that are reasonable for a kid his age, and if anyone were to give him any trouble for any reason, Manny would handle it and add some compensation to make up for whatever it was Sam had to deal with. He may seem like the kind of guy to not care a lot, but he has a pet kitten and kept her even after she mutated and tried to eat him for crying out loud, he has some softness under that Brooklyn accent somewhere, and sure enough he'd grown to like Samuel, becoming a sort of surrogate father/uncle figure to him. Somewhere along that line Samuel was somehow also able to procure HRT and start on that, but how it happened I will never know. It's a show with talking turtle ninjas that have magic I don't have to be logical about things ALL the time.

Soon enough, when Samuel was 12, he managed to save up enough to get himself an apartment and was even able to get into a school and find a relatively okay job that didn't know he was not 14 because he sorta kinda lied on his resume- It was worth it though, he was glad he did it. He was finally able to be independent and not need to rely on others help to get a better life, but he will always be grateful to Manny for everything, and still visits him at least a few times a week either to just hang out or do favours, like fixing something or taking care of Mrs Nubbins, in exchange for being able to scrounge around for parts that he can use for any projects he's working on either for practice or to get one step closer to his dream of being a mechanic/technician. Manny only ever pretended to keep score of how many favours Sam could cash in. As far as he was concerned, Sam could take anything he wanted, within reason at least.

Of course, this doesn't mean Samuel is completely free. He still needs to be wary of his parents, as they're out there looking for him. They almost did find him at one point, but he was able to move somewhere else before they did, but he had to change his contact details and other such things in order to keep them off his trail. It's a song and dance he'd have to go through generally once or twice a year at least, three or maybe four if he's unlucky. He doesn't have a lot with him, so it makes the process easier, but it's never any less nerve wracking or stressful, not to mention expensive. But he's been getting more and better jobs, and eventually he didn't need to lie about his age on his resume anymore, which was a huge relief off his shoulders if he were perfectly honest. He still got bullied at his new school though, again for his appearance, which was unfortunate.

 His main bullies were these two guys, Kyle and Lyle, who sometimes had one or two other guys with them to join in on tormenting Samuel as much as they could, calling him him things like 'freak' or 'monster' or 'failed Frankenstein' (which Sam often wants to correct that Frankenstein was the scientist, not the monster), even going so far as to beat him on the odd occasion. Safe to say, Sam can't really catch much of a break. That is, at least, until one night he sees a video of his employer's kid, Baxter Stockkid, making yet another one of his videos again. He goes to the Stock 'n Shop in order to stop Baxter from doing anything stupid that would get himself into trouble with his parents, only to end up meeting April from school, and two very green very three-fingered people that are very clearly not human despite their cosplayer claims. They are very clearly not cosplayers, he can smell the turtley-ness on them. He's more intrigued by them than freaked though, finding them rather cool and interesting. After that whole situation is over and done with, Samuel ensures that any video footage Baxter might have taken of the turtles is erased in order to protect their secrecy, and also put up a firewall to prevent any of such videos being released in case Baxter had any backups somewhere he didn't know about. It was after this that Sam and April actually met up properly and started to bond, earning Samuel his first friend of a similar age group, and also someone who can and will stick up for him when Kyle and Lyle try shit, which he greatly appreciates but also tries to discourage as he doesn't want her caught up in his shit. It's not long after that when Samuel, while rummaging around Repo's junkyard, he comes across Donnie for the first time. It catches them both quite off guard, but after a moment Samuel recalls Manny mentioning some troublesome turtles stealing that movie buggy he'd found a couple weeks ago, and figured that this terrapin likely is not exactly on friendly terms with the mantis mutant. Thus, he warns Donnie of when Manny would be doing his rounds and that he should get what he needs and go before he's caught before leaving himself as to not draw attention. Skip to a week later, April decides to properly introduce Sam to the turtles and cue recognition and mild shenanigannery, solidifying Samuel as a friend of the turtles. Aaaaaand that's about it! For the most part that is, this is just up to being properly brought into it, there is still a bit regarding his time with the turtles, let alone his change in species and whatnot. That can be for another post on another day, hopefully not several months from now-

[i23kazu]

yiiiiing i just finished reading about your ocs and omg!!! they're all so cute and adorable ♡v♡ i especially adore how some are connected to each other and the details!! but pls tell me shuying (baby <3) is like an older sister to qiqi, one of my babies

also luckily they're all 4☆, watch me pull them all, nothing will stop me 😎

HANA HONEY !!! ty for reading and perceiving my ocs aaaahh ... i appreciate this so muchh hello!!! and its so nice interacting with u ;w;

AND YESSS she is defo a big sister to qiqi!! she helps out at the pharmacy (it gives her a good insight into medical social work too) and takes care of qiqi when she can :3 she brings her out to walk around the mountains and gather violetgrass heheheee and entertains all the discussions about cocogoat,,,,, and when there are days that shuying wld like to be taken care of too, kailah comes around to help out!! altogether very very cute and adorable ;w; shuying is a big sister but kailah is the biggest sister bc i live for found family mwehehehe

may all of them come home within the first 10 pull !!! TRUST TRUST THEY WILL

[asteria7fics]

(I'm the anon who asked for the bunny headcanon) THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR FEEDING THIS STARVED BUNNY SHIPPER! Your headcanons are amazing, you've made my day! Just a thought - I feel Butters might be even more physically affectionate despite his upbringing, like how he kisses Cartman's cheek when he got AIDS and snuggles up to others while sleeping :) In the Raisin's episode (or one of the games?) it's also mentioned that he's "clingy" XD but anyways these are just some cute snippets that I liked!

Aaaah you're welcome!! Thank you for asking me to share them!

I suppose I sort of avoided an elephant in the room with that last post, since it goes a little further into character analysis than just sharing headcanons.

So... Yes, I totally agree with you that Butters is a very physically affectionate person, especially as a child.

The issue lies with something I only briefly touched upon in my headcanons: internalized homophobia.

Now I think this is something you can sort of call me out on since I don't explore it a ton in my works (for any of the boys, really) but from where I'm sitting I think Butters would actually struggle with this a lot as he goes through puberty.

Certainly he's a very accepting, kind person. However, he's been through some shit, and I imagine as he gets older and is able to recontextualize a lot of that trauma it would lead him to a pretty logical conclusion. Being openly gay has consequences for him.

I mean, even just on a surface level the boys openly bully him for being... Different. Cartman especially, and while Stan has expressed not judging Butters for being gay the opinions of his peers are certainly not the only things he's concerned with.

Not only did Linda try to kill him when she found out Stephen was out being super gay (something that Butters discovered and witnessed first hand, mind you) but they also sent his ass to conversion camp when they thought he was bisexual. Even though he had no idea what that even meant, he still saw countless kids literally kill themselves because they didn't believe they could be 'normal' or ever be accepted for who they were.

I bring all of this up to say that until Butters is away from his parents (and probably South Park in general) I don't believe he would feel safe to live truly as himself.

There's a piece of our younger selves that dies a little bit as we age and realize that the world will not be as kind as we would like it to be. That all of the 'be yourself' bullshit we're fed is, in many ways, not productive if you want to be well liked or respected in the greater parts of adult life. Many of us water ourselves down a great deal in order to survive, and I frankly don't think Butters would be an exception to that rule in his early adult years.

Once he feels safe with Kenny though? All bets are off. They are OBNOXIOUS in public, like Christ Almighty get a ROOM (¬_¬")

Anyway, thank you for the followup! I really enjoy hearing people's thoughts after I've answered an ask!

[theydoctor]

being depressed is horrible because you know you're fucking up 20 different things and disappointing multiple people but it's like looking at yourself from a terrarium. no way to take back control you're just watching yourself messing up.

[im-a-chunky-potato]

I finally got the persona 5 games to try out and WOAHHH IM IN LOVE

[cherry-bomb-ships]

Psssst my gf thinks I'm sleeping 🤫🤫🤫 Anyways y'all want some angst

So for a long time now my canon with R. Marie has been that she sees that Crash could be very useful if he were actually on the side of evil, but she resents him for not being on their side and choosing to be, eugh, a "good guy". Barf.

But ya know, I don't really have all of my timeline set up as for WHEN exactly R. Marie would join Cortex, if its not from the very start then I'm thinking within the first three games. For the moment, I'm leaning toward having her join the team somewhere between Crash 2 and 3, and in that case I would stick to her thinking Crash could be useful, since she wasn't around to see when his brain got scrampled and doesn't realize that he CAN'T be brainwashed. There's no BRAIN to WASH

BUT. And this is where it gets good 👀 I had the idea today that maybe, if R. Marie was there from the very start to see Cortex create all his mutants, including Crash who would seem to really be his favorite, maybe beforehand, R. Marie suggested using robots, her handmade robots, to build up their army in order to take over the world. Maybe that idea was shot down by Cortex in preference of his mutants. Maybe R. Marie resents them, especially The Favorite, Crash, because of that 👀 What I'm imagining is R. Marie overseeing a test with Crash a la the Flashback Tapes in IAT, and it accidentally turns into her venting out loud about how much she despises Crash for supposedly being a success where her creations have failed, at least from her perception. Maybe she even has a line of wondering "what does Dr. Cortex even see in you that he doesn't in me- MY, in myyyy creations. *awkward cough*"

[starry-dream-moonlight]

huh….

Dad got upset and mom comforted me by saying it’s okay..

…

weird it’s usually the opposite