#sorry for not concluding anything

[black-rose-writings]

So, I'll avoid more doylist extensive analysis here, I'll leave that for when I get my references in order (by that I mean dig up a decade+ old books about Advent Saints me and my siblings got to learn about where our names came from - all of us are named after advent saints. It's also where I learned the czech word for "brothel" at the ripe old age of nine, and a 40+ year old book of Russian fairytales), and stick to what it means in universe.

Only thing I'll mention from a strictly out-of-universe perspective is that a repeated theme in the book is the blurry line between witchcraft and miracles, and how quickly one can become the other, in both ways, which I find endlessly fascinating considering other parts of the Grishaverse. (And it's a shame LB is too much of a coward to commit to a "Saint becomes a Witch" narrative for her main characters).

(I also apologize if this is a bit more rambly than usual, I am covering an entire book in one post, I have bees in my head, and it's Friday evening)

Again, the Ravkan Saints religion draws heavily from Christianity in an aesthetic sense, including but not limited to, and in no particular order:

Orthodox-esque churches (present outside of LoS)

Physical relics of Saints (only present outside of LoS)

Most aspects of the clergy

The use of prayer beads (mentioned off-handedly in Sankt Ilya's story)

Holy texts, including some supposedly written by the Saints, beliefs and tradition seemingly strongly tied to these books

Psalms/religious songs ("Psalms" mentioned directly in the Sankt Petyr story).

Burrial into consecrated ground vs unconsecrated ground for certain crimes (mentioned in the Sankt Valentin story)

Strong emphasis on chants/prayers as the main form of day-to-day worship

Sunday service/mass (mentioned in the Sankt Emerens story at least, possibly elsewhere)

Mass as a form of group religious activity (again, mentioned in the Sankt Emerens story)

Concepts of demons/witchcraft

The giving of Saints' names/infant christening equivalent

Marriage rites similar to orthodox traditions

I know basically none of these are exclusively christian or even Abrahamic, but their specifics are aesthetically very christian

However, I have come to the conclusion, that the theology behind those practices is much more pagan (which I have said before, but I feel it is a bit more solid, now).

It is clear that the Saints in the Grishaverse are higher in the divine pecking order than IRL Christian saints, probably closer to demigods of some kind, or maybe more accurately "enlightened" humans, at least from the outside perspective (most of them were likely Grisha).

The closest thing I can find as a parallel was ancient greek hero cults, however, those tended to be far more localized. (Something akin to hero cults could also give an explanation for why the Duke can just run his orphanage as a personal cult without seemingly any reprecussions)

As I said, I've listened to a lecture on ancient greek religion yesterday, and I'm seeing some interesting parallels between it and the Grishaverse religion (which makes me wonder if the precursor to the Saints' faith wasn't something akin to the Greek system - it would actually align nicely with the picture we have of ununified Ravka, putting the first Tzar to a role akin to Philip of Macedonia(father of Alexander the Great).)

Because the thing about the Greek religion was that there was actually very little set in stone. There was some "inspired poetry", but it was not treated as infallible. The role of the priest was mostly administrative, and with very few exceptions (like oracles) were not believed to have a super special connection to the God/Gods they served.

The emphasis on religious poetry (through Tolya in TGT) makes me think that Grishaverse Saints' religion may have a much stronger oral tradition component than Christianity. The way something became accepted as canon to the Greek religion was just "if the poem is epic in both the literal and figurative sense of the word, we believe it now". Something akin to divinely inspired poetry could play a role in the rapid spread of Alina's cult in TGT and even the proclamation of Zoya as a Saint in the later books.

I do think divinity/Sainthood are almost certainly not as widely controlled/formalized as they are in Christianity of any flavor.

Oaths/vows seem to hold a great deal of weight - there's an implication that the reason Sankt Lukin's head remained alive and conscious for decades after his beheading was specifically the prince's oath to keep him as an advisor, at least partially. That whatever the power of the Saints is, it has the ability to suspend normal rules of the universe to hold you to your promise (interesting idea - Tsar Anastas promised the Darkling a safe haven for Grisha. When he tried to back out, Sasha created the Fold, making the Grisha necessary to Ravka's survival).

The humanity - or near-humanity - of the Saints is absolutely on full display in the book, as is their living in the current epoch. There are places that are still on the map today. The domestication of wolves is also placed in the current epoch, which is also kinda interesting (if you're a nerd like me, at least). The reason I think that story is actually set in the "currect epoch" is because of Ulla's story - we know Kenste Hjerte broke within Aleksander's lifetime. We know Sankt Ilya's story is based on a real event. The stories of the Saints aren't myths or religious stories in the traditional sense - they're more akin to the accounts of Jesus - fictionalized accounts of events that probably happened in one way or another, maybe not within the writers' lifetime, but certainly close enough to it. Which is why it stands out that something prehistoric in our world would be placed alongside of these stories.

While martyrdom is present, interestingly, it is mostly applied to people who were already religious/spiritual leaders in life.

So, I've read through the entirety of the Lives of Saints and have come to the conclusion we've been looking at the Ravkan religion wrong.

It might be aesthetically Christianity, but the stories and how they are written are much more in line with various pagan mythologie (Greek comes to mind because it's very present and I also was at a lecture on the ancient Greek religion yesterday). Which we knew already, but it is super clear in LiS. I will go through the entirety of it and write down as much as I can gather about the Ravkan religion once I get home (as well as my compiled list of likely iconography for each of the saints, based on the stories from the book, with a few exceptions - namely Alina, Valentin and Sasha, because their stories aren't really about them and there's not much to draw from there).

I am still miffed about the total lack of a creation story, though. Like, the biggest reason for why religions came to be was to explain why the world is the way it is, which the Saints' faith is super bad at.

I will also need to look for the old Advent Saints book when I come home for christmas, to get a bit of a comparison for how this type of literature is handled IRL, though the book we have at home is from this century. And get pictures of the Krása Nesmírná illustrations for examples of russian children's illustration in particular.

(Because while some of the pictures might pass for a religious painting in theory, the artstyle is way too modern in all of them).

[genericpuff]

every now and then i get folks asking me "puff do you have any opinions on hazbin hotel"

and i know why they're asking because if there's any fandom that puts LO to shame, it's hazbin hotel / helluva boss and surely i must have some Very Strong Opinions(tm) about the show

but i seriously have never watched a single episode of that show and despite all the controversy and drama i've seen come from the discussion of both the show and its creator, the only thing that really bugs me out of the blue when i'm reminded HH exists are those exclusive playbills that people pre-ordered months ago and still haven't arrived

that is it, that is literally the extent of my engagement with the HH fandom, there will be no further questions about what i think regarding HH because i literally have no idea, they are best asked to whoever comes close to being the generic-puff equivalent of the HH fandom

[bloomburnburial]

i have admitted a want and/or need. this is tantamount to admitting weakness. now i must go and fold my arms behind my back and contemplate the wall for the next six months

[hopeinthebox]

tagged by the tastemaker @cordiallyfuturedwight for the january receipts and would you believe it i'm actually on time

tagging a few favs: @aprylynn @jiminsproof @thvinyl @jimin-gaon @visionsofgideontheninth @btscontentenjoyer @kimchokejin @jihopesjoint @eoieopda @monismochi <333 and you too if you fancy it

[perenlop]

how being a hater about a beloved choice a dev made feels

[une-sanz-pluis]

La famille Lancaster a annoncé que Philippa de Clarence avait triché pendant la guerre des roses?

OK, my French is very basic (which I'm pretty sure I've said here before) so I ran this through Google Translate and I think you're asking me if the Lancastrian side claimed Philippa of Clarence, the daughter of Lionel of Antwerp, was illegitimate. I think you may have also sent me in a similar question some months earlier:

It is said that during the Civil War, the Lancaster family accused Philip, who had already passed away in Clarence, of cheating and attempting to attack Mortimer's claims?

I... have honestly never heard of this and looking at biographies of Margaret of Anjou and Henry VI, I cannot find any reference to Philippa of Clarence, much less accusations that she was illegitimate. Nor is this discussed in Joanna Laynesmith's article about adultery and queen and I cannot find anything on Google that comes close to this story. Can you tell me where you read this so I check it out for myself and see what, if any, sources they have for their claim?

In general - as I think I've said before - if you want me to explain or debunk a claim, it helps to tell me where you read it so I can look at it myself and ensure I'm understanding exactly what you're asking.

[umemiyan]

i have semi-concluded that my hormones are probably fucking with me more than i thought lately nksdkdknd once again i envy everyone who has a normal reproductive system

[unproduciblesmackdown]

another billions analysis thing is like so yeah while it's like "hmm let's think about power" but then doesn't really do that, what's there to offset that is "but let's think about what these people with billions(tm) are doing because of their like personal feelings & lives & whatever" and the personal feelings are the thrilling journey of s1 men following the compass of their ego & the way their personal lives matter at all beyond this is about their Relationships. except the relationships are also actually about the power billions isn't really thinking about because the ones billions focuses on involve this Fealty where one person does whatever and the other is just stuck with it. sure they might air some unhappiness sometimes, but if it's not punished or ignored from the start anyway, it'll still end up so inconsequential that it's as though it never happened. and what's left to offset the way that can't mean anything if you again take it for granted that of course people are just locked into such relationships & best they can do is fix it from the inside or embrace it as is? is "do you think this character is a winner among losers & you want to see them pwn everyone & do whatever they want forever" & if you like all the media the creators do like

[teamcapwasrightandishouldsayit]

so, let's say you're making a Bad Reboot of lord of the rings.

you have so much studio money and no clue what made the original so special. it happens. and as this is a Bad Reboot, you're making one of the characters a woman- yay!- and completely remaking their character and story to be more girly- boo!- because this is a Bad Reboot of a popular media and that just seems like The Thing To Do. so, who is it?

[altschmerzes]

Hey there. I am so sorry I triggered you with my response. I had nooo Idea you had abusive parents, I would habe never written that message. I just saw this today (I am not even following you) because of a wonderfull fic of your's I read and I looked you up on tumblr and the post (without the background knowledge I have now) just seemed like a "how annoying are my parents" situation post. Very sorry and I will be sure not to write you again. Just a question- did you ever consider that a new follower or someone how is just in addoration of your fics might stumble across a comment of yours and not have the whole background story and be so insensitive? Not that this is suppossed to make it better, I was astonished though that you thougt someone would write this with knowing the background story (I even wrote i think that I have no Idea how your realtionship is). I will make sure now, to never comment on something I have no clear insight in, that was a big mistake and incosiderated. If it helps, I feel super bad now and at the same time sad for you (for having such a bad moment because of me) and for me (that somone would actually think so low of me, though it does not compare to your problem at all, mine is more a mood, not a problem). have a better day and I am very sorry again. (And my englisch is not so good I am a native spanisch speaker, hope I get across what I meant)

oh i absolutely never assumed you knew anything about my or my situation. it's even in the tags of my original answer. i have repeatedly made it clear that whether or not you know anything about me or my parents is irrelevant. that is the problem. you do not get to lecture strangers about how they talk about their parents. it is just as egregious a massive overstep and insensitively cruel decision to lecture me about it not knowing fuckall about me or my situation as it would be to do it with full knowledge. not knowing anything about me or my parents or the way they abused me is a very clear indication that anything i have to say about them or how 'annoying' i might seem to be finding them is absolutely none of your fucking business.

did you ever consider that it might be extremely insensitive and inappropriate to shame a stranger for how they feel about their parents when you do not know anything about their situation or their life experiences? just a question.

also, people say that stuff to abuse victims all the time knowing full well what's happened to us. it's not a stretch at all. i have had people say directly to me that i should be glad it wasn't worse and my parents are obviously trying, and i can't possibly understand since i'm not a parent yet myself how hard it is to raise a kid. i've had people say all of what you said and much worse while knowing extensive details of what my parents did to me. i've had this come from friends. i envy whatever world you live in where nobody would think to say those things to an abuse victim with the full knowledge they're an abuse victim.

it happens all the time. usually because society has conditioned people to hear stories about conflict of any kind between a parent and child, including adult children, real or fictional or anything, and automatically put themselves in the parent's shoes. it's instinct for so many people to take a parent's side when they do not know, i'll repeat again, fuckall about the situation. it's part of how abuse victims are marginalized and retraumatized and disrespected on a systemic level. children are property, and whiny property at that, and parents are full, complex, rounded people. things like this make it perfectly obvious that this is the case in the minds of way too many.

do some reflecting on your behaviour and your choices. don't do this shit again. do better.

[yusuke-of-valla]

I have nothing to add about Todd in the Shadows video other than like. In one of the clips he used Somerton was clearly dunking on Ulysses and I'm sorry you're not allowed to dunk on Ulysses if you haven't read it, which I fucking know this man didn't because he called it "265,000 words of a man wandering around a city while his wife cheats on him"

Like you do not have to have LIKE Ulysses (I'm more found of Joyce's work in Dubliners) but you DO have to read it before your dunking on it

[lifeisahighway]

I think the curry comment is the pertinent bit, not the alcohol...

sorry i’m only getting to this now, was knackered last night and i’ve missed a lot of the conversation now but anyway 😅

i think we can all agree that it very much looks like they’re going down one of the two routes of either alcoholism or disordered eating

i’m torn about atm. imo in some ways the timing is off but also perfect, and it would make sense for these coping mechanisms to come into play now bc ben can’t use his usual one bc he’s with callum. it’s an interesting one but we’re just going to have to wait and see what happens

[incertis-itineribus]

does anyone else ever read a movie review and think. umm I don't think you know how real life works

[ozzgin]

Heheheh, what about a human streamer in a world of monsters?The main mystery is how quickly loyal and excited monster fans will be able to persuade Reader to start making 18+ content ----🧥

I don’t know much about the concept itself, but this reminds me a little of a chapter from Suicide Boy.

You decide to use one of those streaming websites for human food mukbangs. You don’t have high hopes for anything, you just want a little company while eating because monster realm has been rather lonely. Who knows, maybe this way you’ll even find other fellow humans.

The channel has a slow start. There’s the occasional curious passerby, and the loyal handful. You enjoy the quiet, idle chatter with your small following.

“Nice costume, how did you make it?” you mumble, staring at one of the messages you received from a new viewer. “I’m sorry, I don’t understand you. I’m not wearing any costume.”

You can almost feel a subtle change. The chatroom goes quiet for a tense minute, as if the monsters are weighing your statement and its implication. Unbeknownst to you, there’s multiple posts being published about a genuine human streamer who’s now been discovered.

The next day, you stare at the number of viewers in disbelief. Where did all these monsters come from?

“Can I send you monster food to try?” One viewer writes.

“Where’s the tipping option?”

“Can you prove this isn’t a costume? We can tell if you take your clothes off.”

You read as your original followers furiously argue with the newcomers, citing your dignity. “(Y/N) doesn’t need to prove anything to you”, they conclude with solemnity. They reassure you, in private, that you can choose to post whatever you want, and they will support you regardless.

What a mess. Your eyes scan the offers, from innocent suggestions to downright shameless proposals. And they keep pouring in.

What next?

[More Monster Streaming] | [Monster Masterlist]

[cathnospam]

Continuing from This Drabble about you and your BF Katsuki answering sex questions about each other<3

Black Female Reader x Katsuki Bakugo , mentions of panty stealer bakugo, slight smut???

“Okay uh, how do you rate your partners kisses 1-10.”

“9”

“9?! Muthafucka I taught you how to kiss—-“

“You always push back first like you can’t handle it, it pisses me off.”

“I like breathing.”

“So.”

Rolling your eyes, “I was ganna say 12/10, but since you’re being a bitch—“

“So, 12/10 got it. Next.”

“Does your partner have any dirty secrets?…oooh.—-”

“M’going to bed.” Bakugo immediately gets up to take off his tank top seeing as he was going to sleep in your dorm tonight, but as the shirt clung to his semi flexing biceps you grab him, “No, y/n.”

“Oh c’mon boy are the secrets THAT bad?! I’ll tell you mine at least—-fuck.” He considers for a moment. Curiosity weighing heavier than his will to sleep at the moment, “You ass.”

“What did you call me—“

“I think…” You place two fingers on his soft lips, “One secret is that……….one time, when you were out on work study you left your black tank top in my room….and….i missed you….and i was ovulating so i….put on your tank top and ….played…with myself.”

The air was thick, it’s as if Bakugo took it as he grew closer to you while speaking, there wasn’t much to make him speechless but dammit that’s a new one.

Fuck. That’s actually more sexier than he wants to admit right now. He crossed his legs, hoping a tent won’t form in his grey sweats and noticed your eyes wandering at every part of your room but his eyes.

“I…moaned your name too.”

“You…you damn….pervert fuck—-“ His voice almost broke into a groan, looking away also embarrassed you knew he didn’t mean it in a malicious way from how he looked back at you, Adam’s Apple bobbing up and down, “Stop acting fucking weird. You did it. Who cares. As long as it was MY name you moaned.”

“Of course dumbass. I only want you…”

Bakugo felt his ears burning, already annoyed he was flustered once he groaned, “I took your panties once.”

“What?”

“Why the hell would you wear that lacy frilly shit during class in that short ass skirt? It’s like you want those idiots to see you.”

“That CANNOT be the reason—“

“IT IS. If you’re ganna wear ‘em wear them IN OUR dorms you dumbass.”

“…well.”

“Well what.” He pouts.”

“Well where the fuck are they I like wearing them after I get waxed.”

Bakugo hesitates, not wanting to actually answer mainly because he doesn’t just have ONE pair of panties. But a few. “I’ll show you later.”

“Tch.” You mock his sounds, “Ever use ‘em to masturbate?”

“Shut the fuck up.”

You giggle, you can only imagine what his perverted ass has done with them. And the last time you seen them was in your hamper so you assumed they got lost somewhere in the laundry. Honestly it’s kinda….interesting he’s telling you this.

“Does your partner have any no’s during?”

“I’m not calling you a bitch.”

“Aw.” You sarcastically sigh, “Why.”

“Why the hell would I call you out your name—“

“You called me your slut yesterday.”

“…Slip of the tongue.” He crosses his arms like a child, making you giggle. “Sorry.”

“No need to apologize it was hot.” You say adjusting yourself closer to him, you could actually feel the heat from his body rise as you kept speaking, “It’s fine. Degrading isn’t something I’d need from you anyway.”

“I don’t get that kink, who the hell likes to be disrespected by someone they…are y’know with.”

You shrug, you understand why certain people have kinks, but it’s hard to put in words for someone like Katsuki. He’s a very simple man when it comes to relationships. Almost traditional and old fashion which is what charmed you the most about him. He never even called you a bitch before in any sense nor has he ever told you anything that would genuinely hurt your feelings, “Some people are just into that.” You concluded, your boyfriend looks at you with an unresolved look, but accepts it anyway. Weirdos.

“I wouldn’t hit you either. Like in the face or anything. Only on the ass”

“Good because my face is too pretty for that.” Katsuki smirks at you, you’re absolutely right you’re too pretty for him to hit.

“Nobody else.”

“Hm?”

“…Nobody else is allowed to join us.”

Squinting for a moment his statement clicks , “OH! No threesomes and stuff. Oh yeah of course not. If I see you with any other girl I’ll kill you and her.”

Katsuki swallowed his laughter, masking it with a clearing of his throat, your eyes not tearing from his making sure he knew you were serious. You don’t scare him typically, but he knew the moments when you genuinely had an aura about you that screamed “Fucking try to play with me.” And this was one of those moments. “You look at me like I didn’t just fucking say —“

“I know.” Your voice cracked a little trying to cover up the jealous tone you were about to spew out. Just the thought of Katsuki touching another girl had you upset.

Little did you know it was the same for him with you.

“Anything else?”

“I won’t do race or age play.”

“What the hell…?—-“

“Well I am black so obviously no and then you have age play which is just a cute way of saying you like children—-“

“WHAT?”

You pause to cover up his loud mouth with your small hands, “SSSHH! Before we get in trouble again!…anyway moving on!”

Not wanting to argue, he takes your laptop and smacks your hand away, “What is something you DONT like that your partner does during sex.”

“Take my laptop away from me.”

He strikes you and look, he doesn’t say anything verbally but he says “quit fucking around” with his eyes, admitting defeat that he won’t give you back your laptop you sit back and think for a moment.

“Eh…Oh! I don’t like that you won’t let me ride you.”

Damn it.

He had a feeling you’d say that too. Bakugo scratches the back of his neck roughly while letting out a groan. Throwing his head back a little he side eyes you, “Why do you wanna be on top so bad. I’m the man I should—“

“It’s not even about dominating you or anything you can still fuck me from below, ‘Suki. You’ll still have all the power.”

Bakugo has seen porn videos where the guy fucks up into the girl. Even some where the man is straight up holding the girl up and pumps her full. It’s so erotic he couldn’t even finish the video, but even though he enjoys vanilla sex, he is quite certain riding him isn’t too far off from what he likes.

Besides he loves having your tits bounce in his face and feeling your nipples practically bounce into his mouth makes up of great reason.

“…Fine. But when I’M ready.”

“Yaaaayy mkay….now what is something YOU don’t like about me.”

“You’re ganna be pissed.”

Your smiles immediately transforms into a straighten line, “Uh oh.”

“I don’t …like when you cum too fast.”

It was a bit embarrassing yet confusing to hear. Clearly that means he’s doing a good job so why —

“Because I want to keep fucking you.” Bakugo speaks up as if he read your inner thoughts, all you could do was blink a few times at him, and he continued more, “Even though I don’t cum until after you do which isn’t that long, sometimes I wanna keep going. I’ve timed it, the moment I start fucking you sex only last about 6-8 minutes.”

“That’s average. Some people are 2-3 minutes.” You spoke with an unimpressed and deadpanned voice mostly because this sounded ludicrous to you and Bakugo seen it in your expression causing him to sigh in annoyance. “Shouldn’t your ego be filled knowing you make me cum fast?”

“Yeah, but —-fuck sue me for wanting more. And don’t say some shit like I’m a nympho or some shit because that’s fucking disgusting and those freaks are usually only in a relationship to fuck—-“

“OKAY OKAY CALM DOWN, BOY!” His voice kept getting louder and louder and you refused to have another write up because you have him in your dorm past curfew…again. “I get it though.”

“You want to be overstimulated.”

What? Bakugo scrunched yo his eyebrows. He never heard that term before used when talking about sex.

“Overstimulated means …well… showing you is actually better than telling you.”

In an instant Bakugo’s furrowed eyebrows soften, his gaze transitioned from confused to darker and subtly lustful. You felt the vibe of the room change so quickly you practically had to clear your throat to make him focus again.

“So the next question…”

“Nah, show me.” He firmly shuts your computer and places it on your nightstand. Arms still crossed, “Show me what that word means or should I look up a video and figure it out myself.”

“….y’can.”

It wasn’t ideal for your evening to end like this with him, but it’s just you and your slightly horny boyfriend watching porn videos.

What’s the worse that can happen?

[rqnarok]

summary: dark!old man!logan would do anything for the sake of you going back into his arms. 

cws/tags: smut, mdni! old man!logan. obsessive behavior. fem!reader. logan calls himself ‘old man’. pet names. unspecified age gap. unstable power dynamic. crying. soft dom!logan. sub!reader. not proofread. 

You’re not sure if you can even call him your ‘ex.’ 

The both of you never had the ‘talk’, and never did have any middle ground stating what kind of relationship this is. 

Logan’s way older than you - way more mature - “Need t’be fucked by a real man, ‘s that it, baby?” way more experienced. 

No matter how heated the night before, Logan still turns everything cold with his aloofness - and you - you never feel brave enough to speak up against it. 

With a heavy heart and numerous self-loathing sessions, you concluded that it was time to let him go - convincing yourself you deserve someone more. Someone you’d be comfortable with to ask for something more. 

And you did, well, that’s what you tell yourself as you busied yourself with everything else. Withdrawing from him little by little, texting him things such as  ‘Can’t meet you today, sorry’ or ‘Something else came up..’ to avoid ending up on his sheets.

Logan’s not stupid. He may be old, a fucking hundred years old something but he’s not dumb. He knows what you’re doing. 

Reading the texts you sent him, he’d grumble curse words under his breaths before tugging off his glasses in a harsh movement. 

He just didn’t think you’d last so long dodging him. Logan expected you to give up on the first day of the second week—he was wrong because it’s been a month, damnit.

Sometime during the unlabeled relationship that went on for almost a year already, you put Logan’s number on the list as your ‘alternative’ contact, making people ring his number when yours is not answering.

And Logan always answers your phone calls. He’d justify himself that it’s merely a habit that he’s still trying to break, but truthfully it’s to make sure you’re hanging out with the ‘right people.’ 

Logan fucking hates it when he’s hearing a guy’s voice on the other line—toughens himself to respond, lowering his voice and curting his answers. He’ll let them know you’re busy. 

In the second month, you run back into Logan in desperation. 

Your eyes are all puffy from crying because your last date was such a prick! He called you nasty-horrible-sickening names before erasing your number off his phone for no reason. 

Logan opens his arms to welcome your hiccuping figure standing before him. Shushing you down and rubbing circles on your back - telling you to tell him who hurted you. 

This dependency you hold on him makes his cock twitch. That he’s right: you still seek him out no matter how long it takes. 

You don’t even notice how bad it gets—that’s the best thing. You never learn, huh?

That’s alright - because he’ll try for real this time. Groans out praises after praises to you, “What’s that, baby? Y’feel good?” Logan jeers overhead, holding himself over you with his hand gripping onto the headboard, “Too good?” He chuckles as his other hand thumbs on your puffy button.

His rough fingers pad up your clit, sending electricity throughout your body. Making you writhe underneath him and Logan scolds you in the softest way he can, “Stay still f’me, will ya?” 

You can’t answer. You can’t even speak outside of high-pitched whines, a mess of your own saliva drips until it reaches your chin. Your whole body is finally sticky after it’s been cold for weeks. His fat cock driving onto his home over and over, better than anything you’ve ever felt before.

“Yeah, y’just need your old man, hm? No one else can t‘care of this pussy like I do, sweetheart.”

He maliciously slows down his movement to watch his length entering your wet folds, humming at the vulgar squelching sound, “Come take a look a’her, baby. She’s squeezing me in - misses me so much.” 

The sight of him is trouble, messy greying hair and beard; chest full of scars. Everything you should’ve stayed away from.

”Yeayeahyea- Missed you so m-much. Ah-” 

But you cannot think when he’s holding you like this - when he angles himself so his tip is continuously hitting against that spongy spot inside you that makes your body weak. 

A string of ah ah ahs are leaving your mouth as he growls next to your face. “‘M cumming —”

His head falls back as he feels how your dripping pussy milks him dry, instantly following after as he buries himself deeper to make sure none of his cum drips out, “F-fuck. Good fuckin’ girl.” 

When he’s finished, Logan falls atop you in tiredness before rolling himself slightly to the side so he doesn’t suffocate you with his weight. Pampering your tear-flushed cheeks with slow kisses - the feel of his beard burning onto your skin like a streak of fire.

“C’meback, sweet girl.” He whispers in a quiet voice, hoping you’d give in completely. 

And you do - you always do.

Moments later, he’d have you resting on his chest, fingers combing through your hair to calm you down from the noises inside your head.

You don’t have to know that he was the one who drove your date away. 

It’s a mistake that the boy called Logan’s number because he was so impatient to hear back from you. A goddamn mistake. 

Because of that, Logan became aware of his existence and tracks him down. Threatens the other guy to stay the fuck away from you. 

Poor guy almost pissed his pants in fright. Running away scared shitless after Logan let go of his collar. 

Logan doesn’t know when exactly he turned into this wild animal. A sick old fuck who’d do anything to keep you in his embrace. 

Why does it matter? Everything is in its right place now. He’ll make sure you’d never have to know about the things he’d do for you.