#or you can watch the show wrong but where billions was never planning to allow taylor to Disrupt these crucial dynamics

[unproduciblesmackdown]

another billions analysis thing is like so yeah while it's like "hmm let's think about power" but then doesn't really do that, what's there to offset that is "but let's think about what these people with billions(tm) are doing because of their like personal feelings & lives & whatever" and the personal feelings are the thrilling journey of s1 men following the compass of their ego & the way their personal lives matter at all beyond this is about their Relationships. except the relationships are also actually about the power billions isn't really thinking about because the ones billions focuses on involve this Fealty where one person does whatever and the other is just stuck with it. sure they might air some unhappiness sometimes, but if it's not punished or ignored from the start anyway, it'll still end up so inconsequential that it's as though it never happened. and what's left to offset the way that can't mean anything if you again take it for granted that of course people are just locked into such relationships & best they can do is fix it from the inside or embrace it as is? is "do you think this character is a winner among losers & you want to see them pwn everyone & do whatever they want forever" & if you like all the media the creators do like

[cryptid-bird]

Reading An Old Fic

I'm reading an old Gorillaz fic that I wrote years ago, and it's so unintentionally funny in some parts. For context, 2D fucking. Dies. That's the plot. He's a ghost now. The story is mostly angst, so the random bits of humor is like getting smacked in the face. The story overall is not bad, it's just weird that I did that! If I had finished this, it could have been close to a novel length.

Highlights of the story:

The chapter names include such gems:

Drink To Forget Your Problems.

Great, This House Is Fuckin' Haunted.

Talking To Your Dead Friend Around Your Adopted Daughter Can Be Super Awkward

Play Video Games To Forget Your Crippling Depression.

Summon Satan To Help Deal With Your Problems Instead Of Facing Them Like An Adult.

Don’t Starve Shipwrecked Basically

I can sense a theme with some of these.

Murdoc gets in an elevator with a white suburban family. He has an inverted cross around his neck and blood on him (from an injury). It's awkward

2D uses his ghost powers to make Murdoc's shower ice cold.

After a very dramatic scene: “What’cha doin’?” Stuart asked. He sounded bored and alone. 

“Running from my problems.” Murdoc responded.

Taxi Driver: “My friends would be stoked to hear this, they’re big fans.” 

Murdoc: “I always love fans. Tell ‘em I said that my bed can always fit one more person.”

2D calls Murdoc a murderer for being partly responsible for his demise (even though it was unintentional). Murdoc denies being a murderer. 2D is like "I have a law degree!!", which is funny to me. Why does he have that

EMI Records calls Murdoc during an angsty scene and threatens to hold him hostage until he can tell them where 2D is. When he says he will get his lawyers involved, they tell him "We're a billion dollar company, we can do whatever we want"

2D meets a blind woman who can hear him. She doesn't know he is a ghost and doesn't get the memo. She's like "We all feel invisible sometimes. It's ok"

Russel: “I know you’re in there you green piece of shit”. 

Noodle is unable to ship her sword, but is somehow able to ship herself, a whole human, through FedEx. This is never addressed.

Murdoc plans to murder a child to bring 2D back from the dead. He can't bring himself to. He kills someone else instead by being bisexual at a club. This chapter is called: Murder For A Good Cause. The man he brings back is actually from the Black Cloud and attacks Murdoc first.

A line from the story, out of context: "It would just be plain awkward, like having sex with your best friend watching, except he and 2D weren't friends." 

(More under the cut)

Noodle: “Uhuh. Well, I’m going out to go get some dinner. If I come back and anything is wrong I won’t hesitate to harm you.” she threatened. 

Murdoc: “I know that! Enjoy your dinner!” he called as he dragged the corpse away to clear space. 

2D finds Murdoc drawing a pentagram next to a dead body and is like "WHAT THE FUCK"

“There’s a dead body on the floor-” Stu pointed out, but was interrupted by Murdoc.

“Stop pointing out the obvious.”

“So you slit his throat?” 

“What else did you expect me to do? Kindly show him the door?” 

This scene:

He pricked his finger, allowing a drop of blood to fall into the solution. He felt a strange tingling sensation, and the very next thing he knew he was standing in the oh so familiar underworld. 

He was in a building. The roof was high up and was supported by towering beams. On the beams were torches lit with hot flames. They were the only light in the room. 

A large demon paced back and forth. He seemed angry. “For the last time, I don’t want your car insurance! I don’t even have a car! How did you get this number?!” he paused, listening to what the person on the other line had to say. “At least I’m not going to have an early death! Have fun in Hell!” he swiftly hung up. It seemed he was unaware of his company until Murdoc cleared his throat.

And this:

“It’s you. You don’t remember our deal? You specifically asked for your band to never die. Your friend did, but because of our deal his soul remains. Well, ta-ta! I’m off to my meeting. Hell can’t run itself.”

If you want to read all of what I've written, let me know and I can upload the rest on ao3. I've already published some of it on there. I will not finish it, I'll just give you what I've already done.

[mochegato]

Even the Losers

Chapter 8

Chapter 1     Chapter 7

“Your father is Bruce Wayne and now he wants to reconnect,” Nino recapped as though anyone involved in the call was unaware. From the look Chloe gave him, he was particularly happy she was in New York not Paris and couldn’t actually smack him upside the head.

“Thank you for that waste of time and breath,” Chloe grumbled.

“I just… don’t see the problem.”  Nino did actually move away from Alya before she could swat him.  “What?  Your dad is Bruce freaking Wayne!  Even if you don’t connect with him, you can totally draw on that Wayne money.”

He wasn’t fast enough to move away from her smack that time.  “Ow!” he pouted at Alya.

“It’s not about the money!” Alya groaned, already exasperated by him.  “It’s about him not wanting to have a relationship until the press found out.  It’s about him cutting her out but taking in a gaggle of other kids.”  Nino lightly shoved Alya’s shoulder and motioned toward Marinette’s expression on the screen.  Alya grimaced and gave him a nod of understanding.

Marinette looked down and pursed her lips to keep from frowning.  It was bad enough thinking it in her own head constantly, but hearing it out loud, repeated back to her?  That made it so much worse.  That made her feelings real.  That legitimized her feelings.  She couldn’t pretend like she was just overreacting.  They were justified.  Which meant she couldn’t just freeze them out.  Or rather she shouldn’t.  She had to face them.

She focused her energy on not changing her body language so she didn’t worry Adrien any more than he was already.  Keeping her body relaxed instead of tensing up.  Adrien had gone into a frenzied panic when he and Max had returned from their apartment search to find her collapsed on the floor, blocking the door. She’d missed the worst of it according to what Tikki said, but she still remembered the terrified look in his eyes when she woke up.  He hadn’t left her side since, keeping constant physical contact.  

Max seemed to inherently understand the situation and was jumping up to get anything either of them might need so they didn’t have to abandon each other for even a few moments.  She was eternally grateful to him for it because she wasn’t sure who the physical proximity was having more of a calming effect on, her or Adrien, but regardless, they both needed it.  

Her attempt to not react didn’t seem to have been as effective as she thought it had been judging by the way Adrien hugged her closer to him.  Marinette lightly bonked her head into his chest and returned her attention to the laptop screen.  “It’s okay, Nino,” Marinette assured him weakly.

“No it isn’t,” Chloe said over her.  “Both of you need to stop talking.”  She flipped a page in her magazine and looked up at the screen.  “I mean, that’s true in general, but especially during this call.” Her eyes were sharp when she looked up but Marinette could see the concern she was trying to hide by focusing on her magazine.  She wasn’t sure what Adrien had told them about how he found her but she could tell it was enough to scare them too.

Marinette rolled her eyes at Chloe.  “Yes, it is.”

Chloe groaned.  “This is the way we work Dupain Cheng.  You and Adrien let people walk all over you, Nino keeps the peace, Alya starts trouble, and I tell people the truth and to back the fuck off when it’s warranted.”

“Which never starts trouble,” Alya snarked.

“I do not let people walk all over me!” Adrien objected, looking around for support. Marinette gave a curt nod of agreement, but Max was avoiding his eyes and Chloe was staring at him flatly.

“No, you don’t let people walk all over us,” she motioned toward the screen, trying to indicate the rest of them.  “But you let everyone walk all over you.”  Her eyes moved slightly and her eyes narrowed slightly.  “You both do.”

Marinette wrinkled her nose at the screen with a pout.  “I stood up to you,” she groused.

Chloe scoffed.  “And it only took you like ten years to do it.  So proud of you.”  She rolled her eyes so strongly, her entire head moved as she did it.

Marinette’s mouth dropped in offense.  “I’m better now.”

“Are you, though? ��Really?” Chloe deadpanned.

Marinette pouted.  “Yes!”

“Statistically, she is accurate,” Max added.  “She does stand up for herself more now than when we were younger.”  Marinette pursed her lips at Max, unsure how to respond to his comment.  On one hand, it defended her.  On the other hand, she did not at all appreciate how he stressed the word ‘statistically’ and she was certain everyone else caught that as well.

Chloe opened her mouth to say something but was cut off by Nino. Marinette sighed in relief until she started processing his words.  “I get that it’s hard and it hurts, I guess I just thought you wouldn’t take it this hard. After Jagged with Luka and Juleka and your grandfather… you forgave all of them.  You helped Jagged with Luka and Juleka, making sure their relationship didn’t go bad.”  He motioned vaguely at nothing.  “You seemed to brush it off and take it as a challenge.  So why isn’t this?”

Alya dropped her head in her hands.  “Tact, Nino.  God.”

“No, he’s not wrong.”  Marinette frowned as she thought about his words.  “I went after Grand-père and convinced him to reconnect.  Papa never held it against him so I guess I didn’t either. Luka never held it against Jagged, just moved forward.  Maybe it’s just me.  Maybe…”

“No!” Adrien interrupted before she could follow that train of thought any further. He gently turned her toward him to focus her attention on him.  “There’s nothing wrong with you or how you’re reacting.  There’s no wrong way to react to news like this.  If you feel sad, that’s fine.  If you feel annoyed, that’s fine.  If you feel frustrated, that’s okay.  If you want to just move past it, there’s nothing wrong with that.  If you feel angry, that’s okay.  And if you feel like you need space, that’s okay too. There’s no wrong way to react to this,” he repeated.

“Except however Chloe would respond,” Alya added with a smirk.

“Hey!” Chloe objected loudly, glaring at the screen, but with no real heat behind it. “For the record, how I would respond to news like this is to spend all my new found father’s money, pressing my boundaries until he finally said something.  And if he didn’t say anything, I’d use those billions to do whatever the fuck I wanted and never see him in person.”

Marinette blinked at Chloe, as did the rest of the group.  That was certainly… an option.  Not one Marinette would ever choose, but it was…  Marinette started giggling at the idea.  Adrien joined her quickly while Max, Alya, and Nino watched them worriedly.  Chloe rolled her eyes and flipped the page in her magazine, but the corners of her lips quirked up.

“He is correct,” Max added, bringing them back to the original point.  “There are a variety of ways people will react to finding out they have a parent they didn’t know about.  Markov found hundreds of studies on psychological responses to similar news and responses are extremely varied.”

“Juleka had a harder time with accepting it and connecting to Jagged than Luka did, remember?” Adrien pointed out.  “And there’s nothing wrong with her.  She wasn’t wrong to react that way, right?”  Marinette shook her head reluctantly.  It wasn’t that she thought there was anything wrong with the way Juleka reacted, but in agreeing with Adrien’s observation, she would have to agree with his point that she was allowed to freak out about this instead of ignoring it like she wanted to.

“Marinette,” Alya raised her voice to bring attention back to her.  “You can do anything you want here and we’ll support you. You know that.  No matter how this ends we all love you.  No matter how you react, we’ll love you.  Nobody is going to judge you for any decision.”

Chloe scoffed.  She waited until everyone was looking, or in Alya and Adrien’s cases, glaring at her. “What?  You want me to lie to her?”  She looked incredulously at the other faces on the video call.  “We won’t judge.  Hell, I’m willing to scratch his eyes out in public for you.  But, your name was already getting out there and his name, now yours, is on the largest corporation in the world.  Every news and gossip organization is going to be talking about it forever if you guys don’t make a good show of it.”

“So?” Alya demanded incredulously.  “She should just do whatever is best for publicity?”

“Did I say that?” Chloe scoffed.  She finally put her magazine down to show how serious she was taking the conversation. “When have I ever let the threat of bad publicity stop me from doing something?  I just said it would be out there, not that she should care.  It’s a factor, a big one when she’s figuring out what she wants.”

“What do you want?” Adrien asked gently, turning his attention back to Marinette.

Marinette looked at Adrien for a few seconds while her brain whirred at high speed thinking through all the options.  What did she want?  None of this. That’s what she wanted.  After a few seconds she took a breath and let it out. “What I want is to not have to deal with any of this.  What I want is to not be his daughter.  What I want is to figure out where we want to live and work and start a company there like we planned.  What I want is to live a normal life now.”  She ignored Chloe’s scoff.  “What I want…” she sighed and looked away.  “What I want doesn’t matter.”

Chloe huffed almost loudly enough for it to echo.  “Of course it matters, it just doesn’t change the past or the current situation.  But, you control your next steps.  So Ladybug this bitch.  Some egomaniacal, rich, pampered megalomaniac has created an utterly ridiculous problem that you now have to fix.  This is your specialty.  Show this bastard who he walked out on.  Make him regret not dying with his parents.”

“Woah! What the Hell?” Nino exclaimed. “Too far.”

Chloe scoffed and looked back at her nails.  “If you think that was too far, you should have heard what I wanted to say.  I toned it way down for your sensitive ears,” she added condescendingly.  She just barely looked up when Marinette started giggling.  Chloe’s lips quirked up the more Marinette tried to stifle the slightly unhinged sounding giggles.

“Dude, that’s her grandparents…” Nino whisper shouted.  Marinette suddenly sobered and paled in realization.

“Or!” Adrien interjected with false excitement positioning himself between Marinette and the screen.  “Or, you could, you know, try to build a relationship with him.”  He looked decidedly away from the incredulous looks from Alya and Chloe and the doubtful look from Nino on screen, trying to pretend like they weren’t judging him.  He moved closer to Marinette and took her hands in his giving her a sincere, serious look.  “You have someone, your father, who wants to connect to you.”  

He ignored the loud scoff from the computer and continued as though Alya or Chloe, or both, hadn’t verbalized their opinion.  They clearly weren’t that opposed or they would have said it instead of making a noise.  He “accidentally” closed the video chat and gave Max a pointed look.  

Max nodded slowly.  “I’m just going to go to my room for a few minutes.  Let me know if you want to talk.”

Marinette and Adrien both shot him thankful smiles.  Adrien waited until his door was closed before looking back at Marinette with a concerned look.  “You got screwed in this deal.  Nobody can deny that, and however you feel, that’s real and valid.  It’s okay to be hurt.  It’s okay to be scared.  It’s okay to say this is too much for you right now, or ever.  But, do you really want to walk away?  Not connect to him?  Not try?”

“He didn’t want…” Marinette started weakly.

“Maybe he wasn’t ready,” he cut her off before she could spiral again.  “Maybe this is the universe’s way to saying it’s time. You got the embodiment of luck in your pocket.  Is it really so farfetched to think luck played a role?”

“Bad luck,” Marinette scoffed to the floor.  Adrien gently rapped her on the top of her head with his knuckle.  She looked back up and caught his unimpressed look. Marinette sighed and looked away before looking back up at him uncertainly.  “I don’t know…”

“Do you think you want to try?” Tikki asked floating out of her resting spot. “It’s your choice.  But I don’t think this is going away, so whichever decision you go with you’ll have to face the consequences.”

“Or I could just cataclysm him,” Plagg offered rubbing his paws together.  He darted away from Tikki before she could shut him up.

“No!” Marinette and Adrien chorused at the same time.

Adrien glared at Plagg but made sure to soften his eyes before looking back at Marinette.  “Okay, maybe things don’t work out with him.  But it sounds like you have siblings.  You already like Jason.  Maybe you’ll like them too.”  He gave her a small smile and rubbed her arms soothingly.  “You always wanted siblings.”

Marinette gave him a weak smile back.  “I don’t need siblings anymore.  I have you.  That’s more than enough.  I don’t think I could handle more of yous.”

Adrien scoffed good naturedly at her.  “If anything I’ve made having siblings more appealing.”

Marinette scoffed playfully.  “Keep telling yourself that,” she muttered.

He pulled her into a hug.  “You always wanted more.  And it sounds like you might have sisters.”

“More people he adopted after walking away,” Marinette groused into his shirt.

Adrien hugged her tighter.  “Maybe he had a reason?  Or maybe he just royally messed up.  Maybe he hates himself for the decision.  It’s something you won’t find out unless you stay.  And you can just talk once and see how you feel about it. If it doesn’t go well, you can walk away and we can find that bar Roy mentioned.  If it goes well, you can decide to stay or we can decide to move to New York or Metropolis, like we were thinking and you can still see him every so often.”

“Even if it doesn’t go perfectly,” Tikki added softly, “it’ll give you closure.  You deserve to have that.”

“And you’ll wonder what could have happened if you don’t,” Adrien nudged her gently.  “You know you’re going to regret not trying.”

“So is that an absolute no on the cataclysm idea,” Plagg popped up between them.  “Because I’m still willing.”

Marinette rolled her eyes at him but shot him a grateful smile.  It was as close as Plagg got to admitting he cared.  She scratched him on the forehead and looked back to Adrien with a frown.  “I don’t think I can handle this.”

“I’ll stay with you.  And Max will be here.  Tikki will be here for you.  Plagg will be here, but don’t let that deter you…”

“Hey!” Plagg pouted.

Adrien continued without acknowledging him.  “Chloe could be here in a few hours if we needed and she’d drop everything to get here, no matter what she says.  Alya and Nino will only be a phone call away.  We will support you no matter what you want to do. But we can’t make this decision for you, so, the question is what do you want to do?”

Marinette groaned and pouted at him.  “You sure you can’t do this for me?”

Adrien gave her a sympathetic look and shook his head. “Not this time, Bug.”  He waited a few minutes for her to think through her options.  When she looked just as lost after another few minutes after that, he spoke up gently. “Do you want to talk to Sabine and Tom first?  They might have some answers you need to make your decision.”

Marinette looked back up at him with a pathetic looking pout.  “Can’t I just sleep through this instead?”

Adrien chuckled and shook his head, relieved she was now in a light enough mood to make jokes.  “You could,” he nodded and put on a mock serious face, “but your problems will still be there when you woke up.”

“What bullshit,” she scoffed in a weak voice.

Adrien nodded.  “Yep, utter bullshit.”

Marinette kept eye contact with him for a few moments waiting for him to impart some kind of insightful wisdom upon her.  When he held silent and let her make her own decision, she whimpered and looked away.  “What if it isn’t him I cataclysm,” Plagg asked, flying between them.  “I could do it to his house instead… a few of his cars?  Rich people always have too many cars.”

Adrien grabbed him out of the air and shoved him in his pocket with an exasperated groan.  But Marinette giggled again.  When her laughter had settled, she took a deep breath and motioned toward her phone. Adrien smiled at her as he placed it in her hand.  She took a deep breath and pulled out the paper M. Wayne had given her.  She dialed one of the numbers before she could talk herself out of it, which knowing herself could happen if she was given more than a few seconds to think, and looked up to Adrien, letting his soft smile ground her.  “M. Wayne? It’s Marinette.  Would you be free for dinner tonight?”

Chapter 9

Tags:

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[pocketramblr]

You know what I like in X2 (and all of the original Xmen trilogy actually)? I like how they kept Magneto somewhat sympathetic and complex, but never let you forget that this guy is ultimately a villain who wants mutant supremacy, and is willing to murder all humans to do it. He was a sympathetic villain, but always a villain. I like that.

You've unlocked a ramble!

Ok so the thing about watching X2 and then XMA back to back is that both movies have "Capture Charles in order to use him to destroy humanity and leave only mutants" as a plot point, and both are handled soooo differently and really show the difference between Classic Magneto and Post MCU Magneto.

So in X2, Magneto has Mystique manipulate another mutant (Jason Stryker) who is already very much a victim of a father who had him lobotomized to use him as a weapon after he lashed out at his abusive parents and killed his mother. Mystique has Jason use his power to force Charles to target all humans on the planet with a mental blast that will kill them.

XMA, Apocolypse is the mastermind who kidnaps Charles and forces him to launch all nukes into the sky, disarming every country on earth before Apocolypse takes his body and plans to destroy the rest after. Magneto is one of his horsemen.

So, already, X2 Magneto is "worse" because he's actually doing this, not just working for someone who is. He's the one who didn't warn Charles right away that Stryker was going to kidnap him, and he's the one who didn't free Charles and Jason when he had the chance. Except... Literally five minutes before that, Stryker had used Jason and Charles to target every mutant on earth. They were very much seconds away from a total mutant genocide. Millions and millions dead, like that. The second time that Magneto, as the only one with a helmet to protect him from the psychic blast, would survive a genocide of his people. But this time, he'd be the only one left on the planet. In an attack that came from one person without government authorization. The only way Magneto can be absolutely sure that this never happens again is if he makes sure there aren't any humans left to do it.

Is if he kills billions.

And he does it, or tries to, but before he does he puts his hand on Charles and it's so obvious without him even speaking that he feels bad for doing this to his old friend. He doesn't want Charles to hurt! But his goals are a higher priority than Charles' mental well-being, and he knows he won't have any right to apologize once he's done because he won't regret the action, just the side effects. So he puts his hand on him, silently displaying so much emotion, and then says goodbye and leaves.

Contrast X2 Magneto taking responsibility for what he did and committing to it while still being so very human to XMA Magneto. XMA Magneto isn't even the leader here, he's a sidekick Apocolypse recruited- after his coworkers reported on him for using his power to save one of their lives, getting his wife (yeah he... Has one now) and daughter (no not Anya, Wanda or Lorna, a new one) killed. And here, like in X2, this is obviously him reliving something that has happened before and wasn't supposed to happen again. But he doesn't get to kill the coworkers who betrayed him and his family. Apocolypse shows up and does that himself, after Magento's one request was to not stop him from killing them himself. Magneto does not get to do that action. He does not get the responsibility of those deaths. He does not have the responsibility of actively using Charles, that was Apocolypse. He still shouldn't have done it, of course, it was still wrong- but it's very different than the intention Original Magneto had. And while this Magneto is somewhat sympathetic, the dead family and all... He's not someone who was just facing eminent genocide. There have been ten years of peace, allegedly. Mystique mentions that it's not really peace and still needs improvement and she's right, but as a whole... There's very obviously no need for Mutants to do genocide in order to preserve themselves. Apocolypse is very obviously just doing what he wants for his own personal power. Magneto just ends up looking half like John Wick and half like a huge sucker for doing all of this.

Let's compare two other little thing in both movies- so in X2, there's this moment where Mystique and Magneto are snarking to each other about Rogue's hair and "loving what she did with it." What did she do with it? Nothing, she has a white streak because Magneto tried to use her in the last movie for his "greater good of mutants" and almost killed her.

Meanwhile, XMA Magneto almost killed Mystique last movie for his greater good plan, and in this movie he just... Eventually gets convinced that she's fighting for what she has left and maybe some of humanity is worth saving too. I don't think there's even any mention of what he did in the last film, or of there was it was so little I didn't realize and remember it.

X2 Magneto takes Pyro's lighter to coax him out, then assures him that his power isn't lame, that he's "a God among insects."

Because in the original trilogy, Magneto is the one who manipulates! He's the bastard! He's the bitter old man who has been hurt so bad and is so desperate to keep it from happening again that he'll bark and bite and do worse to stop it.

Meanwhile, Apocolypse gets to be the one to call mutants gods and goddesses in the new version, and Magneto is just an accessory. Still culpable, but not The Bastard, not the one allowed full responsibility, or full sympathy.

Anyway that's why the old Magneto is "worse" as far as being a villain goes, but is way more sympathetic and interesting than the new "softer" one.

[xpeachesncream]

bands | twelve

[ series masterlist ]

summary: jeon jungkook has it all: the looks, the fame, the money, the women. being considered the sexiest man in the industry, he finds no complaints about the way his life is going nor does he find any reason to apologize for the way he approaches it. he is a force to be reckoned with - until he meets you.

pairing: stripper!reader x idol!jjk

genre: (18+) strip club/nightlife au, post grad au | fluff, angst, smut

words: 4.2k

warnings: cussing, mature language/implied sexual content, insecurities, some overthinking, introducing you to fluffy koo?! and i think we’re all familiar with the song at the end too 🥺

tags: @brightcolorsoffendme @min-nicoleee @eggbutnotyolk @ra-mun-e @miinoongi @jimidol @ppeachyttae @thebeebi @bluesharksandfish @kooafraid @liriaus @thisartemisnevermisses @ggukkieland @preciouschimine @sunniejinnie @cypheruby @cyb3rbab3 @masterlists101​ @awhnamjoon​ @redhedhoseok​ @wooya1224​ @taeismydeath @jikookiekosmos​ (please message me if you would like to be added to the taglist!)

"Am I doing too much for shopping for a dress? He told me to dress nice and I honestly don't have an ounce of nice in my closet." You told Kai as you looked through the hangers on the rack.

"No, you're not doing too much. And I think you dress nice, but it's always good to have a few dresses in general, right?"

"Okay, okay. How about this?" You hold up a black knitted, off the shoulder dress that fell right above the knee. "It's too simple isn't it?"

"Simple is the best." He shrugs. "That's probably the best one I've seen so far and it'll look nice on you. Plus, you can just curl your hair or whatever girls do."

"Hm, okay." You chuckle, heading over to the register to pay for the dress. You had picked up Kai from school and quickly dragged him to the mall before dropping him off at Eric's. You might have tried on and looked at a few billion dresses since you've been here, but out of all those, this dress probably spoke to you the most. You didn't wanna be too flashy, or do too much, but you did want to put effort into tonight's date with Jungkook. You had butterflies in your stomach all day, and quite frankly, you were nervous for how tonight would turn out. You just wanted to look good for him, and you definitely wanted him to look at you like you were the only girl in the world. It might have been a big ask on your part, but if he was serious about this, it shouldn't be a big deal, right?

"Let's get you some food before I drop you off."

"Can't I just stay at your place?"

"And watch me do my walk of shame in the morning? No thanks." He gives you a look before shaking his head.

"You're right, that's kind of weird." He does a fake shiver. "Kind of gross too."

"You started it." You snort. You make your way over to the food court, ordering Panda Express for a quick to-go meal. You could never go wrong with fried rice and their orange chicken. As you had ordered your food and waited for them to fill up your bowls, the two workers began to chat and you only overheard because—

"Did you hear? Jungkook is supposedly dating a stripper from that nightclub." You purse your lips into a fine line as you wait patiently for the food to be put into your bowls.

"I heard, but is it actually true? Why would he date a stripper?"

"I know, right? He could do so much better, why would he stoop that low?"

"My question is— how did a nobody like her get his attention?" The cashier turns to you and gives you a fake smile. "Anything else for you, love?"

"No." You shake your head, pay and take the food before walking away. You don't know why the words pain you so much, but you simply shake it off as you approach Kai who is waiting at a nearby table.

"Ready?" He looks up at you and tilts his head.

"You okay?"

"Mmm, yeah let's go."

"You sure?"

"Yeah, I'm fine Kai. Really." You give him a nod, along with a fake, tight-lipped smile. He knows something's wrong, but he doesn't press you, especially after the way you responded. You quickly drop him off to avoid any unnecessary confrontation with your stepfather and make your way home. As soon as you touch base, you sit on your couch and.. you just quietly sit there. Suddenly, everything people had been saying was getting to you. Why did Jungkook want you? Why did he go for you and not anyone else?

Maybe they were right? You were just a nobody. Even if Jungkook did have feelings for you, you questioned if this was even going to last.

"God, Y/N." You groan at yourself, shaking the thoughts out of your head to start getting ready. Just because you brushed it off though, doesn't mean you had gotten over it. They were starting to pile up one by one, and one day, you felt like you were going to break and really let it get to you.

That day wasn't today, though. It couldn't be.

You looked at the dress after you slipped it on, staring at yourself in the mirror as you slipped on your heels. You fixed up your hair and added a dab of lipgloss before letting out a content sigh. You wondered if this would be enough for him. You always wondered if you were enough for him. Your stomach was in knots and this was the first time you felt sick to your stomach nervous.

"Hello?" Your phone suddenly rang, you grabbing it with a quickness.

"Hey, I'm outside." You furrowed your brows because his voice sounded a lot closer than it should be. You kept the phone to your ear as you opened the door, seeing Jungkook smiling with the phone pressed against his ear as well.

"Silly." You scrunched your nose as you hung up and put your phone down. You watched as he looked at you up and down, his eyes widening in admiration and awe.

"You look beautiful, Y/N." You blushed.

"Thank you. You don't look too bad yourself, Jeon Jungkook." He smiles. He was wearing a black and white striped button up, black slacks, boots and a fitted black blazer. His black hair hung loosely over the sides of his face, natural waves coming in and giving it a little volume.

"Ready?" He holds out his hand for you to intertwine your fingers with his.

"You know, you didn't have to come upstairs." You smiled up at him.

"Mm, but that takes away from the complete experience, sweetheart." He grabs your purse and your small duffle bag [since he politely requested for you to bring a change of clothes] to carry it for you as you head down the steps and to his car. You loved the smell of his car, as oddly as that sounds. He always had a fresh strip of that Black Ice car freshener hanging from his rear view mirror that reminded you of his scent so much. "Seatbelt on?" You nod as he starts the car and locks his free hand with yours once again.

"Where are you taking me?" You playfully ask.

"Don't worry about it." He chuckles. "However, I want you to know we won't be out in public. Not because I don't wanna show you off, it's only because I don't want anyone to bother us." You nod.

"Okay." You appreciate his honesty, your what if's and insecurities slowly drifting away the more Jungkook talks to you, touches you. You always thought it was cute how careful he was with you, treating you like you were the most delicate thing in the world and that he had to take care of you in every way possible.

You realize that you're making your way to his luxury apartment building [his own, not the dorms] and you're a little confused as to why you had gotten all dressed up and fancy if you were just going back to his place. However, you didn't say anything to allow the plans to do the talking for you. You trusted him with this, and you feel like Jungkook really hasn't given you a solid reason to not trust him at this point in your 'relationship.'

You didn't know what to call it yet.

He parks his car in his usual spot, and immediately runs over to open your door and help you out. He gathers your bags from the back and hangs onto them as his other hand is resting against the small of your back. He brings you to the very top floor, where there aren't necessarily apartments but moreso conference and party rooms and you can tell strictly by the way each room has double doors.

"Uh, this exists?" Jungkook chuckles.

"Other idols live here too, gives them a way to do shit without having to step outside and have people in their business." You nod.

"Does this mean your dorm is like this too?" He nods.

"Yup, just another luxury apartment building. Few things differ but for the most part, they're the same." You shrug.

"Must be nice."

"It's alright." He stops in front of double doors towards the end of the hallway. "Close your eyes for me, please? Just for a quick minute." You smirk before doing what you're told and closing your eyes. You hear the doors open, and Jungkook's hand is retreating down onto the small of your back. He's guiding you as you walk in, but stops after a couple of steps. "Open?" You open your eyes and softly gasp at the sight in front of you. The entire half of the wall was strictly windows, so you had a good view of the city in front of you. What caught your eye the most though was all the pink and red shades of rose petals along the floor, lining your way to the dining table in the center of the room. Along with it were little tealight candles and balloons along the way, with speakers softly playing music in the background. The room looked so big having one table in the center, just for the two of you. The center table was drenched in white table cloth, with tall white candles in the middle and a single rose as its centerpiece.

"Jungkook?!" You slightly shriek. "Oh my god, what is this?"

"Date night, sweetheart. Had to make it worthwhile since we're not out in public." He smiles and takes your hand. "Come on, let's go eat. I know you're hungry." He pulls out your chair and has you sit before he situates himself in front of you and tucks your bags underneath the table.

"Thank you." You give him a soft, cute smile. You're not sure how else you can show your appreciation for all the effort he put in, but you were happy. "I-I really don't know what I did to deserve all this effort from you." He shakes his head.

"What do you mean? You didn't have to do anything. I wholeheartedly just wanted to do this for you." He smiles, his dimple poking out from the bottom corner of mouth.

"Well, thank you again. I really do appreciate everything you do for me." He scrunches his nose before looking up at the waiter, who was ready to serve you two either a bottle of Jungkook's favorite red wine or white wine.

"You like sweet or bitter?"

"Sweet." You shyly said as he signaled for the waiter to pour the white wine before thanking him as he left you two to your piece.

"So, dinner is a 3 course meal made by a friend of mine."

"A friend, ey?" He nods, knowing full well he hired one of the most popular chefs around to prepare dinner for you two.

"I hope you like it. I asked him to make it special." You chuckled.

"I'm sure I will." You sipped on your wine. Over time, the salad appetizer came out, followed by the main course meal. You both had dug in pretty quietly, Jungkook chiming in about random things with you reacting appropriately to the topics he brought up.

"So, did you figure out what you were gonna do for Kai?" You shrug.

"He's gonna go to the arcade and I'll buy him Loco Moco."  You snort. "That sounds terrible, doesn't it? For an 18th birthday?" You frown.

"No, not if that's what he wants. Why don't you come over my place and I can make it for him? He can take over my gaming consoles if he wants, too."

"That's asking for too much."

"But you're not asking, I'm asking."

"Would you mind? He really does want to meet you."

"No I don't mind. It's on Saturday, yeah?"

"Yup." He nods.

"Schedule isn't as packed for a bit."

"Hm, okay. If you say so."

"Just let me know when to start making it and I'll make sure I make the time."

"Okay." You nod. "Hey, you have an older brother, don't you?"

"Yeah, but we aren't as close. Which is why it's nice to see you and Kai together. It's pretty comforting."

"May I ask why?"

"He just always thinks I'm a troublemaker, or that I rebel too much. We just have different mindsets, that's all."

"Did you guys fight a lot when you were younger?" He nods.

"Sure did." He points to the scar on his cheek and laughs. You lean over to run your finger over it before sitting back into your chair.

"That looks like a deep cut."

"That's because it was. He beat my ass over his turn on the computer." You chuckle.

"Sorry, that must have hurt."

"Eh, nothing I couldn't get over. But yeah, that's pretty much my relationship with my brother."

"How about your parents?" He shrugs.

"They think the same way. I try to be on their good side but they like to remind me about what I used to do or how I live my life." He forks into his food. "Like my tattoos. They hated that shit. Probably still do."

"I'm sorry, Jungkook."

"No, don't be. It is what it is. I really do try, but sometimes it gets tiring. I don't go home often because of it."

"Hmm." You hum. "You know, I always thought you were such a social butterfly."

"Me?" He laughs. "No."

"But you look so confident on stage. So happy."

"I am happy on stage, but it's kind of just that. I do what I need to do, especially for the fans and all. Don't get me wrong though, I love it. But behind the scenes, I'm not much of a talker, or someone who shares a lot. I like to keep it that way. I don't like getting too close to people and letting people into my bubble and vice versa. Gets complicated."

"So, what about me?" You look at him, curiosity filling the look in your eyes.

"I like you, and I want you in my bubble. You aren't complicated."

"How do you know that for sure? I can kick and scream and throw tantrums. And-and have attitude." You say, making him laugh and shake his head. "I can be complicated."

"I doubt it. Can't see an ounce of it. You can try, but I'm sure it won't be like the way you explain it to be." He looks at you. "All I'm saying is that I really like you, Y/N. I want you around me. You keep things so simple and sweet, and I've already started to appreciate the small things from being around you. It's something I used to overlook before we met. All the small things, the little joys in life. You make me look at things in a different perspective, I guess is what I'm trying to say." He cutely shakes his head at how he just rambled on, making you blush.

"It really makes me happy to hear that." You finished up the food on your plate, blushing as you wiped the corners of your mouth and fiddled with your fingers.

"So, did you ever think you'd be here after all the times you played so hard to get at the club?"

"No, definitely not. I mean, even in general." You tilted your head while looking at him.

"Are you happy to be here?" He asks shyly, his doe eyes wide and puppy-like.

"Of course I am."

"That's all that matters to me." He says, beaming from ear to ear. The waiter brings over the dessert, which is a sampler plate of 5 different cakes/cheesecakes. Your eyes light up because who fucking doesn't love dessert? You immediately go to town, yelling out your 'yum's' and 'ooh's' every bite you take. Jungkook laughs watching you happily eating away, giving him leverage to feed you a spoonful of the dessert on the plate closest to his end.

"I'm so full. That was so, so good." You finish your wine after one last bite of the dessert and sink back into your seat.

"Yeah? I'm glad you enjoyed it." He puts his napkin down on the table after wiping his mouth, then gets up, holding out his hand for you to take. You look at him, a little confused as to what he was trying to do, but you take it anyway. "May I have this dance with you, pretty lady?" You smile and nod, swinging your arms around his neck as he holds you closely against him by the hips.

"Jungkook?"

"Yeah?"

"I really appreciate you. Thank you for taking such good care of me."

"You're absolutely welcome, baby." The pet name sends goosebumps raging throughout your body, your forehead pressing against his. "You're special to me, you know? I can't really explain it just yet, but just know that every single thing that I've done for you has been worth it." You give him a small smile as you quietly dance to the music, your bodies pressed warmly together as you hold each other close. He softly sings along with the music, causing you to giggle every now and then when he showed off his cute facial expressions. After a song has passed, he presses his lips against your forehead, making you shut your eyes at the sensation of his soft lips against your skin.

You just wanted him as much as he wanted you. You were so undeniably attracted to him, just as much as he with you.

"I have one more thing to show you." He says as he grabs your bags underneath the table.

"One more thing, huh?" He suddenly gets shy, shaking his head and chuckling to himself as he grabs your hand and leads you out of the room. You start climbing up the stairs instead of taking the elevator, going up about 3 more flights before Jungkook is climbing over the gate that blocks off the last flight the leads to another door. "Jungkook, is this illegal?!" He snorts as he waits for you to meet him at the door.

"Why would it be here if it was illegal?"

"But it was--" He opens the door, bringing you out to the rooftop to look at the entire view of the city ahead as the sun was getting ready to fully rest below the horizon. "Ohhhh shit, it's a beauty." You say in awe, walking over to the railing to take everything in. You expected Jungkook's body to press against yours from behind, however it doesn't. You find yourself looking for him, turning over your shoulder to see him quietly blowing up a balloon before smiling cutely at you and bringing it over. "A balloon?" You cocked your head to the side in confusion.

"This is gonna sound dumb and cheesy, but it was really the one thing I could think of to help put things into perspective. I want you to write everything you're worried about, everything you've been thinking about, all that negative shit." He hands you the balloon with a sharpie, causing you to laugh.

"Where did you even hide this stuff?"

"In my pocket." He scrunched his nose, his teeth piercing his bottom lip as he let out a soft, tiny laugh. You do as he says though, writing out all the negative shit that had been clouding your mind lately - Eric, worrying about Kai and him going off to college soon, your image, just to name a few. You wrote it all out as Jungkook stood behind you, resting his chin on your head as his arms wrapped around your neck.

"Okay, I think that's it."

"Mmkay, let it go." He nods towards the view in front of him. You let the balloon go, watching it dance around with the light breeze, flying farther and farther away as it does so. "I don't want you to worry about any of that when I'm around. I know the world hasn't exactly been the nicest to you, but I want you to know that I'm gonna do my best to keep you safe. You and Kai." You smile to yourself as your body sinks into his, the both of you just enjoying the view and the moment, which ultimately turns into a fun, playful competition as to who can spot more landmarks than the other.

After you both had spent a good amount of time watching the sun fully sink below the horizon, he took you back downstairs to his apartment, placing your bags off to the side of his room. You slipped out of your heels, sighing contently at the feeling of your feet being out of the heels after so long. You had no idea how you lasted at the club like this, it felt like it was such a long time ago.

"Baby." Jungkook says, coming in from the living room.

"Huh?" You look up at him as you set your heels aside neatly. The nickname was something you knew would take awhile for you to get used to, especially if it was used outside of the bed. It was moreso of a 'i can't believe he's actually calling me baby' kind of thing. He's actually calling me baby instead of my first name. I'm baby.

"Look, I bought this projector but I wanted to wait until you were here so we could try it." He begins fiddling with this little mini projector he bought, connecting it to the tv and doing all these technical handyman things that you weren't really sure of.

"What movie are you going to put on?"

"That's a good question."

"I'll let you figure it out." You say, rubbing your arm, eyeing his closet. "You're the one who knows all the good stuff."

"No I—"He turns to look at you, catching you eyeing his closet. "Babe."

"Hm?" You return your attention towards him, watching as he laughs at you.

"Do you want a shirt or something?" You nod shyly. "Then go get it. You don't have to ask or act all shy about it."

"But it's your shirt."

"Whatever is mine is yours too." He turns back to the tv, scrolling through his apps to find the best movie to put on. You slowly walk into his closet, eyeing all the clothes he has, taking in the scent of his shirts as you them by. You lock eyes on a random Carhartt longsleeve folded nicely on one of his shelves and start slipping the sleeves down your arms so you can easily step out of your dress. "I think—" Jungkook stops in his tracks as he sees you starting to slip out of your dress. You turn your head to look at him over your shoulder, watching as he approaches you with his hands in his pockets. You feel his hands against your arms, his lips gently pressing a kiss against your shoulders.

"You think what?" You smile softly at him as he presses another kiss against your jawline before gently turning you to face him.

"I think I found a movie you'll enjoy." He lifts your chin to kiss you on the lips. You smile into the kiss before pulling away and nodding.

"Okay, that sounds good."

"Find a shirt you like?" You point at his longsleeve and he nods.

"Nice. That's one of my favorites."

"Oh, then I'll just pick something else if—"

"Why? I don't mind. Go for it." You silently nod before turning around to slip out of your dress and slip the shirt on. Jungkook changes into his pajamas behind you, following you into his bed shortly after.

"Oh my god." You laugh seeing Always Be My Maybe projected against the wall. "You asked Kai if I've watched this yet, haven't you?"

"Nooo." He lies, silently giggling to himself.

"You liar! You knew I've had this on my list and that I haven't gotten around to watching it."

"Don't know what you're talking about, sweetheart. Just pure coincidence." He says, leaving the room to grab water and shut off his living room lights. He shuts the door to his room, immediately putting the water down onto the nightstand before slipping under the sheets with you.

"Mhm." You eye him suspiciously as he wraps his arm around your shoulder, pulling you close to lay on his chest.

"Mhm." He mocks you, laughing before kissing you on the head. "Ready?"

"Have been. Surprised you didn't know that."

"Mmm, baby catches on quick I see." You smack his chest, cuddling up tighter against him as the movie starts. Tonight was the night that really solidified where you were at with him, because after dinner, you highkey expected him to take you home and fuck you senseless [which you weren't opposed to], but he kept it sweet. Delicate. Cute. A serious, date night to show you what you really meant to him. This wasn't just some plan to woo you and get you in your pants and keep you as the exclusive fuckbuddy - no, this was Jungkook really confessing where he stood with you, and vice versa. As you cuddled against him, you saw a lot of his cute, nerdy sides poking out whenever he would comment on certain things that came up on the movie. For the first time, you heard his really loud, obnoxiously cute laugh that you instantly fell in love with. You were with Jungkook, and you were seeing a whole side of him that many people didn't really see.

And for that, you were grateful.

can i call you baby? can you be my friend? can you be my lover up until the very end? let me show you love, oh, no pretend, stick by my side even when the world is caving in

track eleven: at my worst (remix) - pink sweat$ & kehlani

[airgetlamhh]

Thoughts on Lostbelt 2

Longpost ahead.

So.

Lostbelt 2. Finally played it after so long, and this will contain spoilers.

To make sure everyone knows what they’re getting into, I’ll give the thesis statement right here: Lostbelt 2 is bad. 

The entire time I played through the story, I kept waiting for it to pick up. I kept waiting for it to shrug off the poor pacing, the deus ex machinas, the random things just happening for the convenience of the plot. I kept waiting for it to shrug off the poor characterization, the constant telling instead of showing, the moral myopia. It never did. 

From nearly the very start to finish, Lostbelt 2 is bad. 

We start off fairly fine! A desperate ploy to sneak through the Lostbelt to meet up with the allies we’ve learned about, the Wandering Sea, interrupted by a Lostbelt Servant attacking us with the intent of stealing the Paper Moon that allows us to perform Zero Sails. All of that is a decent setup!

And then we’re told how strong this Saber is. How incredible they are. How their swordplay surpasses anything else they’ve ever seen, how they desperately wish that Musashi was there, how no no, he didn’t use his sword, he only parried! Things that Sherlock Holmes observes, not Mashu, not the one who’s actually been fighting for two years now, so Mashu seems borderline useless. Holmes figures out it’s Sigurd because...he uses a sword in a Scandinavian Lostbelt, and he figured out that Holmes used magic because Holmes fire magic lasers at him. From this, Holmes is able to pinpoint Sigurd’s identity, and that’s just the setup for the rest of the chapter, really. 

To be specific, what I mean is that we will constantly be told how incredible someone is with very little evidence, and the plot will bend and warp to make certain things happen. 

The scene does exactly one good thing, which is the foreshadowing of Surtr. Coming into it knowing that aspect allowed me to appreciate little bits like Surtr talking about Heroic Spirits like he wasn’t one, and Surtr not being able to kill Mashu because Sigurd resisted it. But that’s about all that was good in the scene, and all it really does is set up a consistent thing of Surtr being one of the only good parts - until he isn’t, of course.

I’m going to shift here from specifics to characters, because otherwise I’d be rehashing the entire story and I don’t have the time or effort required for that. That being said, it is difficult to decide where to start, so I’ll go right to the very building blocks of the story, the themes. 

Lostbelt 2 is, very obviously, attempting to have a theme of different kinds of love throughout the story. Part of this is because it’s very much set up like an otome game that the author Hikaru Sakurai would write, with Ophelia in the center, but it’s a more general theme too, with Skadi and the others all building up towards it. Now, love is an absolutely wonderful thing to build your themes around, exploring and examining it can be great for stories. Beasts themselves do that, examining different varieties of genuine, but toxic love that allow them to be well-meaning monsters.

The problem is that Lostbelt 2 does not engage with these themes on anything but a surface level. Skadi represents maternal love, so she constantly talks about how everyone is her children and how she’s their mother. No examination of the desire to see her children grow, the pain she feels when they fight, the struggle of forcing herself to cling so tightly knowing that it’s suffocating them and going to kill them before they reach 26. 

Napoleon represents passionate love, so he flirts with every woman he sees. No examination of why he’s so passionate or what drives him to burn so brightly, beyond a token mention that for some reason when he’s summoned he’s driven to seek out a lover, another aspect of things happening to serve the plot. 

Sigurd and Brynhildr represent true, romantic love, so they act mushy the entire chapter from the moment the real Sigurd appears. Now, don’t get me wrong, I liked their scenes a lot and I’m happy that they chose that portrayal instead of the one I was afraid of where it was yandere jokes day in day out. But there’s no engagement with the fundamentals of their love, nothing that tests it, even the existing complications with Brynhildr’s tragic summoning are swept away with a single line of “I can resist them better now maybe because my saint graph is broken”, so ultimately there’s no conflict whatsoever. And sure, that’s nice, but it’s not very good if you’re trying to build your story around a theme of love. 

Next, Surtr, who represents obsessive, dangerous love. I honestly actually think Surtr’s done well, even if the love he happens to represent is the least positive one. Surtr is capable of only one thing, destruction, and when he fell for Ophelia in that moment where she saw him and he saw her, he decided that if he ever had the chance, he would repay her the only way he knew how: allowing her to watch as he destroyed everything. When he’s summoned, he acts basically like the possessive one in an otome game, constantly talking about how Ophelia is his woman, getting angry when Napoleon flirts with her, spending most of his time pushing things between them as far as they can go etc. etc. I’m not particularly a fan of how his desire to repay Ophelia battling against his singular purpose transformed him into a typical possessive bastard boyfriend, but it’s at least engaged with on a deeper level.

Finally, Ophelia. She’s the otome game protagonist here, born into an controlling family and finally freed, hiding a secret special power, beloved by almost all the men involved in the chapter while she’s harboring feelings for someone else, even has the typical friendship route with Mashu going on. Her love is a love that she doesn’t acknowledge, but that’s all it is. It’s never engaged with beyond the fact that she clearly loves Kirschtaria but insists she doesn’t, and her final scene as she dies is Mashu telling her that yes, she did love Kirschtaria. That’s all. 

For a theme of love that’s supposedly woven into the Lostbelt, it’s barely examined at all. It’s not well written, and in comparison to Lostbelt 1′s theme of what it means to live in a world where the strong devour the weak and how deeply it examined and engaged with that, it’s a genuine disappointment.

Now, to move onto the plot, it’s...in the abstract, it’s fine. Chaldea is intercepted and forced to fight in the Lostbelt and ends up dragged into the overarching ploy by Surtr to release himself and burn everything. That’s a perfectly fine story, but the problem is that when you get to the moment-to-moment stuff, it falls apart completely. 

Skadi is constantly talked up as this incredibly powerful true goddess, not merely a Divine Spirit, and we know she can see and hear our every move because of her snow. How does the story work around this borderline omniscience within her Lostbelt? Skadi just decides not to do anything about Chaldea with zero rhyme or reason. We need to sneak into the palace and avoid alerting the guards, except Skadi already knows exactly where we are, except that doesn’t matter because we need to sneak in for some reason. We get captured with no plan to escape, and it just so happens that not only was Skadi keeping a Divine Spirit amalgamation locked in the dungeons too, but that she can piggyback on you making a contract with Napoleon (pure dumb luck you hadn’t done it before) and force a connection with you too, and then cast spells to hide you while you escape. Skadi knows we’re trying to free Brynhildr, who is the sole threat to Sigurd and Skadi’s own Valkyries in the entire Lostbelt? She just decides to do nothing at all. 

So much of the plot happens because either Skadi makes terrible decisions to do nothing, even though she knows Chaldea is there to destroy her entire world, or it happens because random shit goes on that couldn’t have been planned for like Sitonai. Shit like Surtr suddenly becoming Fafnir and being able to use the Evil Dragon Phenomenon to brainwash Ophelia somehow, like Ophelia’s Mystic Eye being able to do anything the plot demands, even when it explicitly goes against its existing capabilities like rewinding time on Sigurd’s wounds, like Bryn and Surtr somehow being able to resist the effects of her eye with no buildup or explanation. It’s poorly written in terms of the exact events that happen, and that all culminates in Skadi’s one cool moment, where she declares she’s going to kill the seven billion we fight for for the sake of her ten thousand...and then right after, it reveals that Skadi was going easy on us and refused to use her runes of instant death for no reason even though she was fighting for the survival of her entire world. The moment to moment plot is not good, and neither is what comes next, the worldbuilding.

In Skadi’s Lostbelt, half the world is covered in Surtr’s flames, while the other half is blanketed in Skadi’s snow. Where the two areas meet are the only places where life can grow, and so Skadi set up villages there. Unfortunately, there isn’t enough food for everyone, so she enforces strict population control: if you are not the mother or father of a child by 15, you are sent away to be killed by the giants. If you are the mother or father of a child, you are sent away to be killed at 25 instead. Through this tragic method, Skadi enforces a limit of 100 villages with 100 people, a total population of 10000. This is all fine. 

But take a closer look at what we actually see, and this falls apart. First, the giants. The giants are immortal and never need to eat. They do nothing but sleep all day and attack any human that comes close to them. Later, it’s revealed that they’ll attack any heat source including Valkyries, except we know that’s not true. Giants never attack each other, they never attack and destroy any of the plant life around them, they never attack the Lostbelt tree seeds, they even fight alongside mass-produced Valkyries before it’s revealed that Skadi and the three originals can mind-control them! They exist only to destroy, but Skadi can control them with her masks and indeed uses them as labour, keeping them chained up in her castle to be brought out and controlled as needed, or using them to guard Brynhildr’s castle. 

Worst of all, the first time we meet anyone in the chapter, it’s Gerda, who is sneaking out of her village to go to the massive liveable area close to Village 23. This area happens to be the only place she can go to get medicinal herbs that she needs or one of the people in her village will die in childbirth. This area is also full of giants, who have not destroyed it despite being fertile and full of life and heat, and who are allowed to take this place that could be used to grow more food for humans who need it, and simply stay there doing nothing. 

Now, this is where I thought the game would engage with things. How Skadi, in professing her love for all her children, is actually being cruel and unfair. They certainly set it up in the conversations she has, where she casually mentions how humans must die for her coexistence to continue. Skadi chooses to keep the giants alive despite the fact that they are all braindead and can do nothing but kill and destroy the moment their masks are removed. She chooses to keep them alive even though it comes at the expense of the humans who must die when the giants never make that same sacrifice. She chooses to allow them fertile land even though they cannot farm nor do they need food, and in doing so deprive the humans of potentially living longer, having more supplies to do so. She makes these strange choices and then later reveals she can control the giants to do her bidding, and it all seems to fall into place. 

What we see from how she’s characterized early on is that the system is unfair and Skadi is unwilling to change, because it benefits her tremendously. Gerda’s village didn’t have enough herbs to save the children forced to breed by 15, and despite Skadi’s omniscience letting her know that Gerda had snuck out and was trying to save a life, she did nothing. There was no system in place to beg a Valkyrie to get these herbs, and no indication whatsoever that Skadi would use her powers to control the giants to save Gerda’s life. The picture painted is someone who cares about humanity not out of true care, but simply out of obligation. Those who disobey her rules, even for good reasons, are left to die by the engines of destruction she keeps alive.

That’s not the story it tells later on, though. Skadi, portrayed from the start as this all-powerful goddess with complete control over everything, is revealed to be far weaker than we thought, and far less monstrous. Ignore all the times she did control the giants, she actually can’t do it all that well. Ignore all the times she declared she would not allow anyone she loved to be killed, but chose not to act to tell her Valkyries or her giants or anything else to save either Chaldea or Gerda. Ignore the evidence we see on screen that there’s more land that’s simply taken over by the giants, Skadi can only make those initial 100 villages and can’t make any more. Skadi is not bad. Skadi did the best she could. Skadi is morally right. 

Please love Skadi, there’s no complicated moral quandary here, she’s just Good.

Comparisons to Lostbelt 1 are impossible to avoid. Both have the same basic cause, a calamity that was impossible to predict and impossible to avert. The stagnation that dooms a Lostbelt created by the kings in question in their desperation to survive. Ivan turned humanity into the Yaga and created a world of strength, where progress is impossible because everyone in his new world was too busy devouring each other to work together. Skadi created a world of weakness, where progress is impossible because she limited the population to avoid everyone dying out. There is, however, one crucial difference between the two. Not in terms of story, not in terms of characters, not in terms of themes. 

“Your existence itself has already become a grave sin.”

That one line, spoken to Ivan, is the biggest difference between how the story engages things. In both Lostbelts, Ivan and Skadi did horrible things and made horrible choices because they had to, for the sake of survival. Ivan twisted humanity into monsters that lost capacity for mercy or empathy, while Skadi forced brutal population control and careless death on humanity because of her refusal to allow the giants to be destroyed. Both of them did horrible things, but only one is held to account by the story.

What Ivan did was evil, and the story recognises it. It doesn’t accept the excuse that it was all necessary for survival, because that’s irrelevant. It’s evil regardless. This same sentiment should have been expressed with Skadi, but it’s not. Ivan is condemned, but Skadi is absolved. She had no choice. She did the best she could. After building her up as all-powerful, the end of the story instead destroys her agency and power in its haste to prevent any kind of responsibility falling on Skadi’s head. Even to the very end, where she declares that she’ll kill all seven billion lives we fight for for the sake of her ten thousand, she holds back and allows us to win, despite how it butchers her character.

The biggest irony in all this is that Ivan’s world was worse than hers in ways. There was no way for the blizzards to stop, no meat besides for the demonic beasts. Crops couldn’t grow, and instead of living in peace, the Yaga were constantly tormented and killed by the Oprichniki. There were no liveable areas like there are in Lostbelt 2, no merciful ruler that sees all, and controls the greatest threats, no peaceful villages where food can be grown. There’s far more justification for Ivan to claim he had no choice and that he did all he did for survival, because it’s hard to see what his choices were. But Skadi? Skadi intentionally does not act and intentionally allows suffering and pain to come to her children, both actively by not saving Gerda, and passively by allowing the giants to take land they don’t need. Despite this, Skadi is absolved, because the story desperately wants her to be a tragic waifu that you love.

There’s lots more I could talk about. How Sitonai was pointless and existed only for a pathetic FSN reference. How Gerda was a cowardly and manipulative piece of writing compared to Patxi. How Ophelia’s story of always being told what to do is resolved not by her taking the step to freedom herself, but being told to free herself by someone else. The constant repetition that plagues the chapter, the weirdly prevalent sexism that everyone gets in on when it comes to Ophelia’s love life, the nonsense of the final battle itself, the absolute nonsense of Skadi being Scáthach-Skadi. I could even talk about how I’d fix the chapter, because boy howdy there’s a lot there. 

There’s lots more I could talk about, but this is already very long, and I think it speaks for itself. Obviously asks are available if anyone wants me to examine them in more detail, but for now, I’ll finish off with one last reminder.

Lostbelt 2 is bad.  

[fanficimagery]

Legendary

Summary:  Imagine being the first person One recruits. You're someone who likes to work behind the curtains, so it takes a while before you meet the full team. And when you do, it's not under the best of circumstances, but it does get you face to face with Four- the guy you'd secretly been crushing on since One showed you his file.

Gif made by: @mrbenhardys​ | Gif set can be found HERE.

Words: 6.5K Warnings: Language.

Living in an abandoned airfield out in the middle of nowhere is not where you saw your life heading, but it was a hell of a lot better than living under the government's microscope all because they were wary of your mind. You had been picked up by the government in your late teens, your crimes being that of supplying criminals with gadgets far too advanced to be in their hands. But instead of locking you up, the government hired you to supply the good guys with technology only your mind had been able to come up with and make.

Eventually you noticed their leash on you was getting shorter and shorter, and eventually you made a run for it. And while on the run, that's when One made his introduction.

One was a genius himself, but he needed more brain power on his side to do what he wanted to do. And while helping stage a coup d'état had never crossed your mind, you couldn't help but want to when One told you all the terrible things Rovach Alimov did in Turgistan.

So after One helped you discreetly move all the money in your bank account to where he stored his apparent billions, he faked your death. It was a little trickier than he anticipated since the government was bound to make sure you were actually dead, but he accomplished it and then quickly moved you into an abandoned airfield where he set up shop.

"You're a ghost now," he says when leading you to your own trailer, "so you need a new name with no attachments and one that won't cause any attachments."

"What? Like One?" You huff a laugh.

One looks at you, expression affronted. "What's wrong with One?"

"I'm not going to be Two," you deadpan. "I'm all for staging a coup, but I suck at being a badass. I'm just the girl behind the curtain supplying you with cool toys. Might as well just call me Oz."

One opens his mouth to retort, but then hums. "Huh. Oz. I like it."

Over the months, as One solidifies his plans for what he's looking for in a team (even though he refuses to call them a team), he gets you comfortable in hand-to-hand combat and weapon's training. He whips you into shape, ignoring your whining the entire time, and surprises you after he deems you ready with an English Mastiff he saved from the streets.

You take the time to booby-trap the airfield, setting out sensors and setting up trip wires. You and One manage to get more trailers moved onto your base of operations, and in your down time you slowly start to make them livable for when he eventually recruited the others.

It's a little over a year when he catches wind of someone worthy to recruit and leaves you to do his job. It takes him a couple of days, but he eventually returns with Two- a former spy. The blonde woman had taken one look at you and clearly didn't like what she saw, and it wasn't until you offered to spar with her did she change her mind. She obviously won the match, but she saw why One kept you around and was glad to know you could take care of yourself even if you weren't going to be out in the field.

Then when One went out to recruit Three, a hitman; Four, a parkour expert and thief; Five, a doctor; and Six, a driver, Two always stayed back with you to test the new toys and gadgets you'd had in the making. You never met the others, even though One allowed you to read their files, and you were comfortable to not have been known to them. You lived right under their noses and they were none the wiser.

Six, however, was too nosy for his own good and eventually found you. Introductions were made and you ended up finding a kindred spirit in the getaway driver.

The longer Six and Two hung around you, the quicker it was for them to come to a realization- they noticing a pattern when one team member in particular was brought up. Four was insanely attractive and his accent over comms did things to you that had Two and Six making fun of you for. But One had rules in place and since he had taken you under his wing first, you felt compelled to follow them. So while you found Four attractive, pining from afar was all you'd do much to the displeasure of Two and Six who sometimes encouraged you to talk to the thief.

The ghosts are somberly getting out of the SUV, grabbing up their duffel bags and making their way towards the trailers. One hasn't said much since the clusterfuck of a mission in Italy, but as he sets his sights on one trailer in particular, he sighs.

"So are we gonna rock, paper, scissor this, Two? Someone has to deliver the news to Oz."

The blonde woman rolls her eyes. "I'll do it. Better to hear it from me than you."

The others glance around, frowning. "Who the hell is Oz?" Three asks.

One and Two share a look before he says, "Oz is the man behind the curtains and the creator of more than half the shit we use, as well as the person who keeps the base livable."

"Oz and Six were like siblings," Two then says. The others share a surprised look, especially when One quietly groans at Two's admission.

One looks at the trailer one last time before breaking off from the group, the others continuing to follow after Two. Upon stopping at the trailer door, Two raises a fist and pounds three times on it. A dog barks inside.

"So this is where Wally disappears to," Four mumbles.

"Well he should," Two replies. "Oz is his maman."

"Wait. What? Oz is a woman?"

          - X - X - X - X - X -

Clad in a gray tank top, black short tights, and a black silk robe hanging open around your shoulders, you open the trailer door only to be greeted by a solemn Two, Three, Four, and Five. You flash them a hesitant smile. "Hey, guys. What brings you to my humble abode?" Wally pushes passed you and makes a beeline for Four, you rolling your eyes at your overly friendly beast. Looking around the group, you realize one face in particular is missing. Which is odd. "Where's Six?"

Three cringes, Four averts his gaze and focuses on Wally, and Five's eyes widen before her gaze darts to Two. Two sighs. "Six didn't make it. I'm sorry."

Your smile immediately drops and your breath hitches. "H-How?"

"The car skidded," Five tells you, voice sympathetic. "We hit a forklift and he was impaled. It was instant. I couldn't save him."

Your mouth scrunches up as you sniffle, determined to keep the tears at bay. "Thanks for telling me." Clearing your throat, you then nod at Four. "Can you watch Wally for a bit? I know he likes you."

"Uh. Sure."

"Thanks."

"Oz," Two calls out, stepping up into your trailer as you turn around. She catches you pulling on a pair of jeans, then shoving your feet into a pair of boots. She sighs. "Don't do anything stupid."

"Never." Reaching into a bowl by your front door, you grab a set of keys before reaching up to grab a helmet off the shelf. Then as you exit and walk around to the back of your trailer, you pull off the sheet covering a shiny black on black Kawasaki Ninja sports bike. "Tell One not to worry. I'll be back."

Shoving the helmet down atop your head, you climb atop your bike, start the engine, and take off.

          - X - X - X - X - X -

When you return back home, all is quiet. One is the only one out and about, and when he sees you he salutes you with the bottle of beer in his hand. You tap your helmet to let him know you're alright and continue on driving towards your trailer- your trailer which has noise coming from the inside.

Not too upset that someone has apparently trespassed into your space, you stomp up the stairs into your trailer only to be greeted by Wally. Smiling tiredly, you toss your keys back into the bowl and set down your helmet. "Hey, handsome. Did you miss me?" You let Wally give you one kiss, cringing as his tongue swipes up the side of your face, before standing up. Then looking at your couch, you shake your head in faint amusement at Four. "Made yourself comfortable, I see."

"You have a better set-up," he grins, unapologetically. You roll your eyes at him, kicking his feet off your coffee table before taking a seat next to him. He gestures to the back of his neck while staring at yours. "You good? You didn't have that when you left."

Touching the bandage on the back of your neck, you nod. "I'm fine. Just a small tattoo."

"Really? What'd you get?" Peeling off the bandage, you allow him to see the freshly shaven patch of hair just above the nape of your neck and the number 6 tattooed there. Four hums. "Two mentioned you were like siblings."

"Yeah. He was a nosy little bastard," you say, huffing a small laugh as you relax into your seat. "He wandered up to my trailer one day, hit on me, and then when I rejected him we just settled into a sibling bond that kind of pissed off One."

"You got too close."

"We got too close and that's against One's rules," you agree. "Now I guess I can see why he didn't want us to get too personal. This feeling sucks."

"Yeah. The whole mission was fucked from the get-go, but One didn't wanna pull out."

"Of course not. We're one step closer to Rovach. Nothing will get in One's way, not even the death of one of my little ghosts."

Four quirks an eyebrow at you. "Your ghosts?"

"Duh. This might be One's operation, but you're all mine, Four. I look after you, even if you don't know I'm doing it."

He chuckles and you notice a faint blush touching his cheeks. You ignore it. "Now that you mention it, One doesn't seem like the type of person to get all our favorite snacks when out shopping and stocking our cupboards in secret."

You grin. "You're welcome." Four continues to smile before letting his attention be dragged back towards the TV. You silently yawn. "Not to be rude, but I'm gonna shower and head to bed. You're more than welcome to stay, but if you wake me up I will murder you and not feel guilty about it afterward."

"Noted."

Surprisingly Four stays, he making camp on your couch. You chuckle quietly, call Wally to bed, and bid Four a good night.

Now that the others knew of your existence, you had a constant stream of visitors. One, Four, and Five would visit on their own, and you noticed Three would tag along every now and then with Two. But the ones who lingered the longest were always Four and Five- Four with his lame jokes and boyish smiles, and Five with her thirst of knowledge for how you made some of her medical supplies.

One's in a bit of a snit, looking for a new recruit to become Seven. You offered your help, but he refused it, so you went off to work on your newest creation.

You've been tucked away in your personal hangar, too far in the zone to remember to take breaks. So it's no surprise you're startled when the hangar door is slid open.

"Time to come up for air, Oz," Four shouts. "We bring you food."

Squinting towards the too bright door, your expression brightens upon Four and Five. "My two favorite people!" You cheer. "Don't let Two know I said that though. She scares me."

Five laughs as Four tosses a greasy bag at you, you catching it and then immediately diving in. Settling down on a stool, you pull out a burger and take the largest bite you can. You groan at the taste, ignoring Four and Five's amused looks, and accept whatever fountain drink it is that Five passes you.

"So what were you working on?" Five asks. "We stopped by earlier, but you were blaring music and didn't see us."

"Mmm. Yeah." You quickly swallow the food in your mouth. "Come check this out." Wiping the burger and fry grease off your fingers, you grab a non-labeled can and gesture for Four to step closer. "Close your eyes and pucker up."

His eyes widen, cheeks heating up, and Five snorts. "Joking," you grin. "But seriously, close your eyes."

Now chuckling, Four does as you say. You grasp him by the chin and gently turn his head from side to side as you spray his face with your newest creation. "What.. the fuck, Oz," he grumbles. "What is this?"

"It's for when you go out and about. I'm tired of cameras picking up all your pretty faces and hacking into foreign servers to erase your presence."

Five frowns. "Have we been caught a lot?"

Four's eyes flutter open and you direct him to where the nearest camera is as you walk over to a bank of computers. "Not a lot, but it's more than I like." With a few clicks, you bring up the video feed from inside the hangar. Four's face on the screen is now severely distorted that it's impossible to ID him. "And now with this spray, you won't have to worry about being caught ever again."

You freeze one of the feeds so that Four can walk over and see for himself. "Holy shit. You really are a genius."

"Duh."

"Can't wait to test it out in the field," he then says. After staring at his distorted face and then touching his face for any lingering residue, he asks, "So how do I take it off?"

You freeze. "Take it off? Huh. I knew I forgot something."

This time Four freezes and Five hides her smile as her gaze darts between the two of you. "Oz. Please tell me there's a solution to getting this stuff off my face?"

"Well.."

"Oz!" Four fakes lunging are you and you yelp, laughing. A smile of his own blossoms, green eyes sparkling in amusement.

"Kidding. I'm kidding!" You walk around the table, keeping distance between you and him. "All you need is soap and water."

"You better be right."

As Four walks off towards the bathroom, Five clears her throat. The Hispanic beauty grins at you. "When are you going to cave and just get with him?"

Your smile slowly falls as you sigh. "Come on, Five. You know the rules just as-"

She scoffs. "Pinche rules. You broke with them with Six, why not with Four? We all see the way you look at each other when the other isn't paying attention."

"Look. I like Four. Okay?" You quickly glance around to make sure he's still busy. "But I- how can I start something with someone who's almost eighty percent sure the Turgistan mission is a suicide mission? Starting anything with Four will only end in heartbreak."

"Turgistan is shaping up to look very risky," Five agrees, "so it's better to grab hold of whatever happiness you can find while you can."

"Easier said than done."

One has left to hopefully recruit a Seven, it's hot as balls out, and you're in desperate need of a cool down. You have the perfect place- an above ground pool set inside the hangar that's the furthest away- but you're just missing the company. Two is a no-go because of her new shadow that comes in the form of Three, and Four is- well he's Four. You text Five, but she's busy going over some medical texts to keep her mind sharp, so you reluctantly text Four in the end.

You ask him if he fancy's a swim, much to his amusement, and then tell him to meet you at the hangar that's on the far West side of the airfield if he's up to it.

With your swimsuit on underneath a tank top and shorts, you head for the hangar. Wally walks beside you, keeping you company, tail then wagging excitedly when he realizes just where exactly it is you're going. And since the pool had been prepared earlier that morning, all you have to do is slide open the hangar door and open up the slates in the ceiling to allow a bit more light and air draft in.

There's a wooden deck surrounding the pool and Wally excitedly runs up the stairs.

"Don't, Wally. Stay!"

Steps away from jumping into the refreshing water, Wally freezes and then whines impatiently. You chuckle as you walk up the stairs yourself, you then stripping down to your bathing suit and setting up some music to play from a tablet on a nearby lounger. The music resonates from speakers hanging in the two back corners of the hangar, but it's not too loud that it'd mask any sensors being tripped around the airfield. And the second you dive into the refreshing water, Wally dives in after you.

Wally doggie paddles for about fifteen seconds before giving in and swimming over to the steps leading out of the pool, he then lounging on the top most step so he could keep his body submerged while laying his head on the deck and out of the water. You huff laugh before taking a couple of laps around the pool, then when you tire of that you climb into a floating mesh pool chair and drift leisurely.

You've made it through three songs before you sense another presence, your eyes fluttering open to the sight of Four standing at the ledge of the pool.

"I thought you were joking about going for a swim," he muses. "How'd you swing this set-up?"

"Before One started recruiting the rest of you numbers, it was just me and him here. We got into a really heated argument early on and I nearly called it quits on him, but I was just being a moody bitch and decided to distance myself before making any drastic decisions," you tell Four. "I pitched the idea of having my own space far away from him and so long as I could get it done, then I could have it."

"And you chose a pool?"

"Well yeah. One's not allowed in here so I figured I'd make my space a place where someone would want to escape to in the desert heat. I like rubbing it in his face that he's not allowed in here. Serves him right for hurting my feelings."

Four chuckles. "I'm honored then."

"You should be. The only people who know about this place is One and now you. Six knew, but he apparently took that secret to the grave." Four's expression softens a bit and you grin at him. "So are you coming in or what? It's nice and cool," you muse. Then holding your gaze, Four quirks an eyebrow at you before stripping off his shirt. Your eyes narrow in an attempt to keep them from wandering down his pale torso and he has the audacity to smirk at you. "I hate you," you mumble.

"Nah. I don't think you do." His pants are next to go and the cheeky bastard strips down to his boxer briefs before diving into the water. When he resurfaces, he smooths back his blonde hair and them swims over to you. "So what are we going to do now that you've got me stripped down?"

You snort. "Nothing, you prat. I seriously only asked you out here for a swim."

"Then let's swim." He smiles devilishly at you and your narrow your eyes. He inches closer and you start to kick your feet in order to move your float away.

"Don't. You. Dare."

"Oh. I dare." Four upends your floating chair and you squeal as he dumps you back under the water. When you resurface, you splash him. "You fucking dick."

"What?" He laughs.

You and Four then spend the next several minutes chasing after one another, splashing and dunking each other. Even Wally gets in on the fun, but he only lasts a handful of seconds before he swims back to his step.

Then when you and Four tire of the water, you both swim over to the side of the pool. You think nothing of his closeness until you pull yourself out to sit on the edge, only for him to remain right in front of you as his hands slowly wrap around to your calves. Instantly, the atmosphere around you becomes a bit oppressive and the energy between you and Four is suddenly electrified.

You gulp. "What are you-"

"Just testing a theory, love."

"Yeah? And what theory would that be?"

Four smirks as he nudges your knees just enough apart so his torso fits between them. Then with hands settled on the deck on either side of your thighs, he uses his upper body strength to push himself up so he's towering slightly over you. As you slightly lean back, you gulp yet again as you come nose to nose with him. His eyes dart over your every feature as your heart hammers inside your chest, but before any progress or objection can be made, someone else makes it for you.

"When the fuck did we get a pool?" Three's voice rings out. Wally barks in response.

You sigh in relief, Four quietly groans before dropping back into the water, and you pull your legs out so you can stand up. Then just as you've picked up a towel from one of the loungers, you see Two and Three appear at the top of the deck stairs.

"We didn't get a pool," you tell Three as you wrap yourself up. "I got the pool a while back."

"Mhmm," Two drawls. "And how convenient Four is the only one who apparently knew about it." You blush as her knowing gaze darts to the boy in question who's lazily swimming laps.

"He literally found out about it an hour ago," you tell her. "I would have invited you, but I knew Three would have tagged along."

"Hey!"

You grin at his affronted expression. "No offense. I just wasn't ready for your energy yet, but I guess the cat's out of the bag now."

"Oh. It is." Three eagerly strips down to his own boxer briefs, he cannon-balling into the pool. Immediately, he and Four start to play fight.

Two walks over to you, shaking her head as she stares down at the two squabbling men. "We work with idiots."

"Really hot idiots," you mumble.

Two turns to look at you and when you catch her gaze, you see the corner of her mouth twitch up into a smile. For some reason, seeing her amusement rather than hearing an admonishment seems to make you breath a little easier.

Fingers flying over your keyboard, you gaze darts over the several screens you have control over. Some screens are nothing but coding, while others are surveillance cameras around the airfield and traffic cams you've hacked into. You're so caught up in what you're doing that the door sliding open at your back startles you.

Immediately grabbing the gun beneath your desk, you twirl your chair around and take aim. Four and the newly recruited Seven hold their hands up. Sighing, you roll your eyes before lowering your weapon and setting it on the desk. "Really, Four? Couldn't have given me a heads up?"

"Sorry, love." The way he's smirking, you know he's not sorry at all. Seven frowns at Four's pet name for you, but you pay his reaction no mind. "Just thought I'd introduce our newest number."

"Mhm." Glancing at Seven, you offer him a faint grin. "Nice to meet you. I'm Oz."

"Seven," he says. He then glances around the room as he and Four enter fully, and you twirl back around before continuing your work. "What exactly do you do?" You hear him ask. "When One gave me the rundown of the team, you weren't mentioned."

"She and One practically built this place," Four says. "Oz is literally the man- er, woman- behind the curtain around here. If you hadn't been introduced to her, you'd have never known she was here."

Huffing a laugh, you say, "Still a bit bitter about me living under your noses for months, are you?" After punching a few more keys, you whirl back around and stand up to address Seven. "Tell One he's getting sloppy. I picked you up on three different traffic cams and had to delete your trail."

"She's also a smarty-pants," Four muses.

"And I also make the best toys," you tell Seven. "So if you need anything or want anything, run it by me and I'll do my best to get it for you. One likes to treat you all like pawns in his missions and have no connections to you, but you guys have killed yourselves to join this team. You made yourselves ghosts to rid the world of truly horrific people, so I'm going to do my damn best and take care of you ghosts."

Four grins. "We're hers, in case you didn't pick up on it."

"Don't be a wanker," you retort, snorting when he pouts at your use of his slang. "But yes, Four is right. You ghosts are mine and I take care of what's mine."

Seven chuckles quietly. "You are not someone I expected to be on One's team."

"One's rules are in place for a reason," you say, now smiling sadly. "I recently learned the hard way, but I guess I'm just a glutton for punishment." His expression falters and you sigh. "Well if you boys will excuse me, I've got a dog to feed and errands to run. I'll see you around."

Four and Seven watch as Oz gathers a few files, she then quickly taking her leave. And as soon as she's out the door, Seven turns to Four.

"What did she mean by learning the hard way? One come down on her about something?"

"Oz and Six became close- like brother and sister," he says while leading Seven out of the room. "We didn't know about her being here until One realized someone had to tell her about Six's death. Two told her the news and we tagged along. It was our first meeting."

He whistles lowly. "Talk about a shitty first meeting."

"Yeah. No kidding."

"And her being a glutton for punishment? Is that because she cares for the other ghosts or because there's something between you and her?"

Four barks out a laugh. "Picked up on that, did you?"

"Kind of hard not to."

"Yeah." Four sighs. "Me and Oz, it's complicated. We've acknowledged the chemistry, but she's also made it known that she doesn't want to break anymore of One's trust."

"And you're okay with that?"

"Gotta be, mate. Oz is.. special. She's someone I want in my life, be it a friend or something more later on down the road. I'm okay with waiting."

"You're that confident, huh?" Seven chuckles. "Good luck with that, man."

It doesn't take long for One to come up with a decent plan for the big takeover, the first part of their mission coming up in Las Vegas where the Four Generals were going to be. You had sat in the back of the room while One explained what they were going to be doing, compiling lists of outfits, weapons, and gadgets the team would be needing.

Then the day comes when the team is to take off and you follow them to the plane. You don't know why, but the idea of them going on this particular mission is giving you anxiety.

Upon arriving at the plane stairs, Three immediately walks up them and disappears inside with a barely mumbled, "See you on the other side, chiquita."

One, Two, Four, Five, and Seven linger around and you sigh as you look around at all of them. "Well I would tell you all to be safe, but I know how dumb you guys all are." Two cracks a grin as Four, Five, and Seven snicker. "So Five, please keep them in one piece until you get back home."

Five laughs. "No promises, but I will do my best."

Five then boards the plane, followed by a winking Two. Seven is still chuckling as he gives you a one-armed hug and One grumbles at all the affection going around. One follows after Seven and then you're left alone with Four.

"If we make it back alive, you and I are going out."

You scoff, shaking your head in amusement. "The rules-"

"Fuck the rules, Oz." Four steps closer to you- close enough to grasp you by the back of your head and reel you in. You gasp, but his lips land on your forehead instead of where you were momentarily fearing. "If we win, you and I are going on vacation away from One and his rules. Sound good?"

"I-" You trail off, sighing. One's rules were a bit ridiculous, but you understood why he didn't want anyone getting close. Their jobs were highly dangerous and if anyone became comprised, their significant other became compromised and the whole mission would be in jeopardy. And that was a no-no. But you were only human and living the life of a ghost was rather lonely. So against your better judgement you give in, your hands landing on Four's waist as you angle your head up to quickly press a kiss to his cheek. "Come back home to me and we'll talk about it."

Four practically beams, but before he can retort One is poking his head back out. "For fuck's sake, Four. Get your ass on the plane!"

You hadn't realized how much Six's death impacted you until the team took off again. You were fine for the first couple of hours, keeping yourself busy with Wally and doing a bit of light shopping, but then you started feeling anxious. The airfield was too quiet and you immediately started to miss Four's random drop-ins.

You started off by cleaning your trailer, then moving onto One's since he had given you permission to be in there when he wasn't. Two's trailer was off limits, Three's was a nightmare, and Five's was impeccable. You were hesitant to enter Four's trailer, but he had no problem with you in his space so you went ahead and went in. His trailer, however, was only slightly messy so you picked up his dirty dishes and took out the trash. There were a few articles of clothing scattered around on the floor, so you picked them up and threw them in the small hamper located next to his bed. Then without even thinking about it, you grabbed one of his clean shirts to later wear.

You eat dinner at a decent time and then set up in your trailer's front room with several laptops. One has a secret burner phone that he texts you updates from, letting you know when a special device is in place at the hotel the Four Generals are to be staying at the following day. And with the device in place, you're able to hack into their security feed.

The following day the plan is set into motion. You follow Two and Three's every move through the hotel, snorting at the shitty job they've done of putting on their prosthetics. You watch as Three shoots someone through the peephole of a door and as soon as they disappear inside, you get started on deleting their digital footprint that led them up to the Generals' room. You leave their appearance in and around the casino, and even doctor some footage of them during the time of the murders to give them an alibi. Then checking all camera angles outside that might have caught Seven sniping from another building, you give One the all clear.

The Las Vegas mission is a success and then your stomach drops when One informs you they'll be heading to Hong Kong. He'll be radio silent which means you'll be in the dark. You'll only know if they've succeeded via news outlets should they pick up on the coup taking place.

Two and a half days later, shit goes down.

It's almost four in the morning when every alert you have on any news of Turgistan go off. You jump out of bed and scramble for your laptops, turning on your TV. Every news station is covering the coup taking place. Your heart hammers frantically, your stomach cramps, and you're on the edge of your seat.

Then you see it. Rovach Alimov has been caught by a group of vigilantes and his brother Murat is to take his place as President after they've delivered Rovach to a village of people who all want revenge.

So with the mission successful, your only worry is whether everyone made it out or not.

You doze in and out of sleep throughout the rest of the day, shooting One a text to get in touch with you asap. Around dinner time, you then get a text message that has you laughing but also very confused.

[Your boy is relatively fine. Broken arm. Don't break his heart because I'll have to be a dick and still side with you.]

Wondering where the hell One's sudden change of heart has come from, you stare blankly at your phone until another text comes through.

[BTW, Two and Four are fucking. If I see Four's lily white ass around base, I am allowed in your pool and there's not a damn thing you can say about it.]

Now laughing uncontrollably, you decide not to look a gift horse in the mouth. You agree to his terms and then find out they should be in the following afternoon. So with more than enough time to finally get a good sleep-in, you make sure Wally has enough food and water before going to sleep now that you're not so anxious.

Hours later, when you finally wake feeling refreshed, you prepare for the team's arrival. You know that as soon as they get to their trailers you won't see them for a few hours as they decompress, so you make sure to time your little surprise perfectly.

Strategically placing speakers around the runway where the team will be unloading, you sync up a particular song in preparation. You know it'll annoy One, but the others ought to get a kick out of it.

You're watching for the plane, and when it lands butterflies take flight in your stomach. The minutes seem to drag on as the plane finally comes to a stop and as soon as the stairs are lowered, you start the song.

As everyone disembarks and slightly spreads out, you start to jog towards them as they make their way towards you. Halfway to them, you stop and spread your arms out at your sides. You scream and then whoop for their victory, and then blare the music coming from the speakers by pressing a button on the phone in your pocket. From far away, you can see Three, Four, Five, and Seven chuckling at you.

"'Cause we're gonna be legends! Gonna get their attention. What we're doing here ain't just scary, it's about to be legendary. Yeah we're gonna be legends. Gonna teach 'em all a lesson. Got this feeling that we're so sweet caring, it's about to be legendary."

Seven throws his arms up in the air, hollering, and you laugh before moving again. This time your path is directly towards Four, but you make sure to be extra careful of his arm in a sling as you meet him toe to toe. Immediately he pulls you into a kiss and you can't help but smile when you hear Five and Seven catcalling you.

As you pull back, you can't keep the smile off your face as you and Four stare at one another. Momentarily breaking eye contact with him, you pull out the phone in your pocket and stop the music. "You made it," you then tell Four.

"I almost didn't," he sheepishly admits. "Blaine saved my arse and then One nearly compromised the mission for me in the end."

Brow furrowing, you glance around at the lingering team. "Blaine?" Seven raises his hand and waves, and your eyebrows raise in surprise. "When did we start using our old names?"

"When One was about to leave your boy dangling several stories up and I made the call to save him."

"Wait. What?" You whirl on One and he sighs dramatically.

"Oh don't give me that look. See this is why I had rules in place about not getting too close," One says, pointing between you and Four, and Two and Three. "But since Two and Three are fucking, I can't exactly say anything about you wanting to get into Four's pants! Which, by the way, ew."

"Oi!" Four exclaims, but you just snort.

Leaning into Four's side so he can lay his uninjured arm around your shoulders, you look out at everyone else. Two catches your gaze, grinning. "Name's Camille."

"Javier," Three says, grabbing Camille's hand in his own. Surprisingly, she lets him.

"Amelia," Five then introduces herself.

Everyone looks at One, but he rolls his eyes. "You're all still calling me One. Now if you'll excuse me, my bed is calling my name."

As One takes his leave, your attention goes back to those surrounding you. "Y/N," you then say. Looking up at Four, you grin. "My name is Y/N."

"Hello, Y/N. I'm Billy."

"And on that note, I think we should be leaving the lovebirds alone." Javier chuckles at Blaine's statement, but nonetheless everyone takes the hint and follows after the dark skinned man.

Once everyone has given you their backs, you turn so you're practically chest to chest with Billy and gently grasp his face in your hands. You pull him into a kiss, pecking his lips once, then twice, and chuckle softly. "I've been wanting to do that since One showed me your file."

"Yeah? Anything else you've wanted to do?"

"Oh. Loads," you muse, smirking, and nipping his bottom lip. "But we're not getting up to that until Five gives you the okay."

Billy groans. "You're such a tease."

"And don't you forget it." Hooking your arm through his, you then start dragging him towards the trailers. "Now come on. Wally's missed you. You're sleeping in mine until my anxiety goes away."

"Aw you missed me?"

"Yeah, yeah. Don't let it get to your head."

[nice-kill-tanaka]

May I have a my hero and ohshc matchup plz

I'm a short girl around 5'2 with long brown hair and eyes and a leo. I like anime,dragons,reptiles,drawing but I'm not good,tarantulas,sweets,video games, memes,dark humor. I am very kind but I care more about others than I do myself. I have bad anxiety. I tend to overthink about everything. I love to sing especially country music but I am tone deaf. I have trouble standing up for myself because I was bullied alot. I can be very blunt. I also love to swear. I can be very loud. I love a good mystery and cop shows. I love dad jokes and puns.I am terrified of bees and heights. I am very lazy but I can be good at doing stuff if motivated. I have a very kind heart and sad stories or ones with very happy endings make my heart happy or hurt like crazy. But even though I'm kind that doesn't mean i am nice all the time. I am extremely grumpy and have a short temper especially on no sleep or if I just woke up. I also do have adhd and some anxiety I dont like being touched randomly unless I know it will happen or if I touch someone. As for dreams I'm not sure I wanna be a voice actor but not too sure if its right for me as I don't know how to edit or even have the equipment. I want someone who can just listen to me as I ramble on about things I love. I want someone to understand that I think differently then normal people. I also want someone to be able to understand im not the most affectionate person but I can be if given time but I will help someone if they are touch starved like I am.

[🌄 @cutelittleriot requested one (1) regular My Hero Academia matchup. I have just the ingredients for that! Sit tight while I get to work.🌌]

YAYYY!! First bnha matchup!! I gotchu bud 👍 I’m thinking about trying something new for the bnha fandom in particular. So, I’ll try it out and see what you think! Also, I got a little carried away with this one, so if it doesn’t seem characteristically accurate to you, please tell me!! 😖

And, the lucky person is:

⛰Eijiro Kirishima⛰

Quirk: Dragon

Dragon is a mutation quirk. It manifests slowly over time, until the user becomes about 60% dragon-esque at around 15/16 years old.

Scales and tough skin appear on the arms, legs, and face. Sharp teeth and claws grow in. Horns protrude from the forehead. A tail grows from the spine. Finally, wings grow from the back.

Flesh becomes twice as tough in places where scales are.

Depending on the user’s body type, wing usage is limited. (Since you’re generally shorter than average, “flying” and gliding comes easier to you.)

When the user consumes pressurized carbon dioxide, their stomach converts it into flammable gasses. Which allows the user to breathe- er...burp...fire.

Fire must be carefully used however. The smoke produced can accidentally be breathed in, causing lung damage.

🌱Humble Beginnings🌱

I’ll start by saying this: Being bullied is never fun. Being bullied over something you can’t easily control or change? Rub salt in it, why don’tcha?

You weren’t sure what the select few kids in your grade thought was so hilarious about your quirk. But, they managed to find enough wrong with it to do their damage for most of your time in school

First, the patches of scales that showed up on your skin were “too weak”. Then, your awkward transition stage with growing horns, wings, and tail was suddenly “ugly”

By the time your quirk fully manifested, the jeers finally devolved to “freak-ish”

Like a river carving out the Grand Canyon, the work was slow and wore you down over time. But, the impact was a lot bigger than even you’d initially thought

While you managed to somewhat heal and learned to guard your emotions against such hurtful things, that’s all you learned to do: Guard yourself. You were a shield with no spear, since you never fought back

With the help of supportive parents and teachers, your self-esteem wasn’t so low, but you did often downplay or underestimate your abilities

Like, Bitch??? You can burp fire??? Know your power???

The people you were on good terms with seemed to see a potential that you either disregarded, or didn't know about all together

They saw the way you treated others with consideration and forethought. How, despite (or because of) your anxiety, you remained hyper-aware of the problems of others and how to accommodate. And while your anger did have its vices, people knew how hot your righteous rage could burn

It actually took a lot of convincing for you to even apply to U.A. 

Outside of your other aspirations for the future, you didn’t particularly feel worthy for the job. Of anything you could be, you weren’t a fearless, upstanding, unshakable individual, not even giving a second thought to throwing yourself into danger for the good of others. You weren’t your alleged definition of a hero, and that was enough to deter you

But, whenever you recited your polite (well-rehearsed) decline, most gave you the same weirdly optimistic retort:

“Just try, maybe you’ll do better than you’re giving yourself credit for.”

So, here you were at an entrance exam full of people you hardly knew, wondering how you even rationalized to yourself that this would go just fine

The written exam went okay. As well as you could for literally guessing what to study to pass

All you had to do was do your best on the physical exam, and you’d be done for the day

But, your issue was in the people around you, not the exam itself

You were aware of the high amount of attention the moment you walked onto campus. The way other kids measured you up from a distance, studying everything about your not-so-human body. Watching your every move, especially the way your movements were strained from soreness (A short period of intense training tends to do that to you). You assumed they also wanted to see if your disposition was as powerful as your quirk suggested

((You specifically noticed a coltish, green-haired kid muttering to himself, questioning if your wings could actually support your body weight))

Even now, as the prospective heroes-in-training warmed up, you felt the stares burning into you

Half of you wanted to lift your eyes and rhetorically ask what the hell they were looking at, only feeling more annoyed as you snorted and returned to what you were doing. The other half wanted to fold into yourself until you disappeared (If only it were that easy)

But, you had enough (Roughly, one billion) worries on your mind to put confrontation on the list. Shaking off your anxious shivers as you lowered your head and continued with your “stretches” seemed so much easier

(A.k.a. Staring off into space as you held your limbs in awkward positions)

The time to begin the physical test was drawing near, and your self-doubt hadn’t eased up. Maybe this was a mistake. You didn’t belong here. Not when so many other students could fill the space you’re wasting so much better. Maybe if you slipped through the back now, you’d save yourself the disappointment of not living up to your own standards

“Hey, brown-haired girl! With the horns!”

You heard a gruff whisper from not to far behind you, from the left. You tensed for a moment, wondering what the voice could possibly want from you. But, the sight you saw was rather unexpected

The voice definitely matched the body, bulky and slightly rough looking, a little taller than you. Matched with a sweet face, sharp teeth, and bright, spiky, red hair. The smile he showed you instantly calmed your thoughts

“…Hm?”

You gave a short response, not wanting to jump to conclusions yet

“I saw you looking kinda psyched out over here, so I thought talking to you would make you less nervous!”

You felt a warm and fuzzy sensation in the pit of your stomach. As much encouragement as you got to achieve things, you didn’t see much of it to consider how you felt. How you could feel better. You liked it, which was surprising, considering the encouragement came from a perfect stranger

“Oh, uhh…thanks then. But, I’m fine, I promise! I’m no more nervous than you are.”

“Well, that’s also why I came to talk…I’m kinda freaking out too…”

This boy’s transparency was almost scary, but on the other hand, very comforting. You didn’t catch him trying to stare at your mutated parts once as you talked. Your eyes were the thing he seemed the most focused on, and while it made you embarrassed, it was the good kind (if that makes sense)

But, soon enough, the announcement for the beginning of the exam came over the loudspeaker, and you and your acquaintance had to look out for yourselves. But, before you parted ways, the redhead turned to you

“I’m Eijiro Kirishima, by the way! See you when I see you, Shortie!”

🌳Flourishing Love🌳

The beginning of Kirishima seeing you as a romantic option happened not too long after parting ways at the physical exam

He was almost completely cornered by one of the machines students could disarm for points. And just as that was happening, you had just turned the corner after shaking off another one

You saw Kirishima, but he definitely didn’t see you, trying hard to look tough, but struggling to stand his ground

It quickly dawned on you that Kirishima didn’t have a quirk that could easily deal with the hostile device. And if he did, he was too scared to use it

You vetoed the idea of charging in head on first. You didn’t feel like getting yourself or Kirishima hurt. Especially without a plan. You needed to be smart about getting your only acquaintance out of this situation

Your heart raced and your execution was all but clean, but you ended up using your fire breath to weld the robot’s wheels to the concrete

Before you let your inhibitions get the better of you, you climbed the machine and punched out the camera on the front. From atop the beast, you hung your tail over the edge low enough for Kirishima to grab. You didn’t dare look down at the ground

“Dammit Eijiro, grab on!!”

Once you felt a weight on your tail, you used your wings to propel you both forward. Obviously, away from the robot

You were too high on adrenaline and fear to notice, but Kirishima stared at you like you were the embodiment of Heaven on Earth. The stars in his eyes almost seemed inappropriate for the situation 😅

You looked just as—if not more—afraid than he was. But, you seemed so okay with the fact that you weren’t fearless, and acted like a true hero anyway. He admired, dare I say loved that about you

And he didn’t even know your name

As soon as you found out that you and Kirishima were in the same class, you felt instant relief. At least you were familiar with someone at U.A.

You guys’ friendship developed rather fast, like and extrovert adopting an introvert

Kirishima quickly noticed how fast you opened up once you got comfortable around him, and loved you all the more for how bright and vibrant the unfiltered you was

He found himself picking up on your sense of humor, telling dad jokes you whisper under your breath to the Bakusquad (Much to Bakugou’s dismay 😅)

Don’t worry, he always gives you the credit 😉

As time went on, Kirishima learned to appreciate how blunt you were. He realized that he needed someone to tell it like it is (“It isn’t manly to sugarcoat things! 😤” he says)

And while Kirishima prefers physical activities over video games, he loves to hype you up while you play before classes

It was only natural a mutual crush would form :D

Kirishima finally worked up the guts to ask you out after the U.S.J. Incident

You and him had gotten separated (You had gotten trapped with the cold son of Endeavor. And you both took out the villains with an awe-inspiring display of fire and ice)

Kirishima was faced with the reality that either of you could lose each other at any moment. And while both of you came out alright, he realized he couldn’t be wishy-washy about his feelings for you

He told you on your way to school the next morning:

“Look. What happened yesterday really scared me. Normally, I wouldn’t say that, but I think you deserve to know. Because…you mean a lot to me!! More than I can put into words. I love when we have fun together, and I don’t know what I’d do with myself if I never got to tell you how I felt…”

“Basically…I like you!! Like…in the romantic way…”

Your early morning grumpiness dissipated almost instantly, replaced by momentary confusion and disbelief, then embarrassment and joy. Was this really happening…? The boy that took a chance on you since the beginning, confessed that he had feelings for you…? Even though you didn’t question your relationship, you always assumed the nice things Kirishima said, the way he looked at you, was all part of the pleasantries. You questioned if you were even worth all of that

‘But you are.’ The little voice Kirishima helped you develop said. ‘And he would say more if he didn’t look so embarrassed.’

And so, you accepted Kirishima’s confession. And he saw the sweetest smile you had ever given him since the first time he complimented your puns 😊❤️

\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/

[🌌 There you go bud! That’s one matchup for the road. Hopefully it lasts for a while, but if it doesn’t, feel free to come back! I’d be thrilled to see you again.🌄] —Reagan

[cfdiamonds]

[ ARON PIPER, CIS GENDERED MAN, HE/HIM ] shh ! LEOCADIO SYNDER, the TWENTY-TWO year old SECOND year ECONOMICS major from MADRID, SPAIN, is known as a DIAMOND around here. HE was invited to join because OF HIS PERSISTENCE AND HIS FATHER WAS IN THE SOCIETY, and now, they’re here to stay. HE reminds me of A LEGION OF STAFF CONSTANTLY AT YOUR SERVICE, A WARDROBE FILLED WITH THE FINEST MATERIAL, + EXPENSIVE RINGS ON EACH OF HIS FINGERS.

helloooo!!  it’s been a long time coming but i’m finally excited to be here and join in on this super cool story the admins and all of you have created! i’m lia, i’m 23 and i go by she/her and they/them pronouns, so feel free to use either of them. i was going to make a graphic and a google doc but i’ve got plans with my family to watch a movie tonight, so until i can make the time i hope his app is enough! 

a past and character reflection.

you were born into success and luxury, the only child of two glencore billionaires — a diversified natural resource company. the synders are responsible for the marketing of lead and make a little over a billion dollars each year. all they’ve ever known was their jobs and their money, leaving little room for anything more than that, especially the addition of a child. the nannies changed your diapers and the maid picked up your toys, while the butler handled the broken glass splayed across the marble flooring from one of your daily tantrums. they bit their tongues because you were raised to view yourself as extraordinary living in a world of the ordinary. despite this, these people meant more to you than the ones who brought you into the world. you had a mother that asked you how your day went and then immediately turned her attention back to her phone or laptop, checking off that mental to-do-list that made her believe the question was enough effort. you had a father that saw you as weak and continuously pushed you past your limits, focusing on every little flaw you had and giving you no choice but to be better. you became so conflicted between your drive to be the best and your need for love, that anger became your method of coping. even the lightest of offenses were met with your spite and you glorified material things as if it were the only thing that mattered in the world. even at the tender age of ten, power was the one thing that kept you driven.

growing up, you never had any real or close friendships. the people that you called your friends were just more people that you could benefit from — the children from rich and influential families that spanned the globe. regardless of your rude and cold exterior, they still found reason to look up to you like you were their leader, be it an inheritance from your father’s charisma or your mother’s sophistication — because everything you had, you had to thank them for right? you knew exactly how to draw people in and use them until you didn’t need them anymore, kicking them to the curb the second their time ran out. the kids that excelled in school got you the highest grade, the kids that excelled in sports helped you become captain of their teams, and the kids that assisted you in breaking the rules always took the fall. and yet, no matter how hard you proved yourself as this apex predator, your parents saw you as inferior. they always told you to work smarter not harder, but when you did, it still wasn’t enough. what more could you take from the world? it had nothing left to give you.

the next chapter in your life became your second chance to prove yourself, but this time with a different method to your persistence. just as your parents did, you’d build yourself from the ground up, not taking whatever you wanted but fighting to obtain it. you already had the determination to do what had to be done to reach your goals, now all you needed to do was make it yourself. you enter your first year at strathmore university and you never take what you need to succeed, you push yourself until you earn it. every time the fates fight against you and you feel hopeless in meeting these high expectations you and your parents have made for you, you grasp onto the anguish of that ten year old boy yearning for approval and press forward with your strength. you still hold onto that cunning aspect of your character but this time, it’s something you keep hidden beneath the surface — away from prying eyes. you slip up once or twice, but it’s never enough to allow others to see you for who you truly are. you join several clubs even though you barely have the time, slipping your name into the minds of those spanning the entirety of the campus. you maintain one of the highest grades in your classes through dedication and hard work, scoffing at the students that request your assistance … they don’t deserve your help. not now anyway. not while you fight to be noticed in a place filled to the brim with excellent minds. not while you await your invitation to the society, the first step at proving that you can be great just like them. just like your parents.

on the society

upon arriving at strathmore university, leo became obsessive in his studies and joined many clubs to assist in his quest of standing out amongst the other first years. unbeknownst to many though, he also did this in hopes of earning a spot in the secret society. this is because his father had been in the society when he was young and in order to prove his potential, this was an organization he knew he had to be involved in. despite not knowing what the society was like or what they were about, he knew that they existed because of his father but that’s the extent of his knowledge on it.

when he was finally given his chance thanks to the diamond opal, leo became passionate about his spot and willing to do whatever means necessary to keep his spot. he takes advice willingly ( but goes against it if he believes they’re wrong ) and pushes to lead in some situations, not letting anyone or anything stand in the way of his goals. although he mainly does everything for his parents, whether they will ever notice or not, it is also for himself and his desire to be something great ( something he outwardly believes he already is but has struggled with internally for a long time ). leo wants to be the best prodigy and opal that the society has ever seen, and visualizes himself as the diadem when he builds himself up to that point.

when it comes to poppy nighmore, leo is more intrigued than he is worried about the reason for her disappearance. if those within the society that knew poppy are upset about her disappearance, leo is willing to take initiative in trying to solve the mystery. he will take risks and push limits in order to find information, but does so for selfish gain than anything else. he believes that he may prove himself as a worthy and necessary addition to the opal society if he continues researching and physically proving he cares. it also gives him a chance to show the others that he is capable of big things.

wanted connections.

as i read about your characters i’ll be able to generate a bit more ideas when directly plotting with each of you! these are just the ideas i have coming into the group, so if you do not see your character fitting them, worry not! we can brainstorm<3

his soft spot — the person that leo can’t seem to say no to no matter how hard he tries. his entire life he has felt little to no remorse in his conquest for power, no matter who he trampled along the way but suddenly, out of nowhere, the world presented him with this person and every time they’re around, every ounce of him becomes vulnerable. when they tell him to do something or to behave a certain way, he seldom disobeys. if they happen to be in the room when he’s behaving as he normally does, he avoids their eyes in fear of backing down. in a way, this person in his anchor that protects him from himself.

his adversary  — the person that gives leo a run for his money, testing him and pushing him every step of the way. they bear too many similarities to get along and compete over even the littlest of things. when one says yes, the other says no. the steve rogers to his tony stark. the thor to his loki.

fellow rich kids — those he knew by association prior to strathmore university or the society. they all understand each other because they grew up in similar conditions, where material things were the forms of love they received as children. they understand the lifestyle and flock together, regardless of whether or not they actually like each other. they board a private jet and escape real life for a weekend, only to return like nothing had happened come monday morning.

his best friend — leo doesn’t know it yet, perhaps neither of them do, but this person is his best friend. close relationships of any kind are foreign concepts to leo because he had, in his opinion, more important things to focus on as he grew up. love doesn’t exist in his world. so by his words, he trusts this person the most and is constantly inviting them around with him. he would never call it as it is in fear of cutting them loose and never feeling an ounce of remorse, but he’s acknowledged it in his head once or twice. this person is like the sibling he’s never had.

his mistake — in leo’s first year, he befriended this person and the pair eventually started to see each other romantically. however, leo wronged them somehow and now that he’s in the society with them, he realizes how big of a mistake he made hurting them. perhaps he fell back into old habits and made their acquaintance with the intention of gaining something, maybe in a class or by their personal influence in the world / at school, and they eventually found out about it. just an angsty exes plot.

his mentor — the diamond that took him as their prodigy. leo takes the dynamic between them incredibly serious and is willing and ready to do whatever they ask of him in order to prove they made the right choice taking him under their wing. he understands that his place in the society must not be taken for granted and so he treats it as a passion, rather than just another club around campus. he rarely does something society related without first receiving the opinion of the opal, but he also would ignore their opinion if he feels they are the one that’s wrong. this is business as usual and leo is their prodigy knowing that if all goes as planned, he will have their seat in the future.

[punksarahreese]

would you.. maybe write a reesker au where you use the 68. “I don’t need help! I just want the pain to stop!”?? like, Ava is s*icidal or s*lf-h*rming and Sarah is just trying to help but Ava doesn't like to feel "weak"... only if you feel comfortable of course

Uh oh you got it <3

CW: Suicidal themes, self harm, sexual assault mention; this could be majorly triggering so please take care <3

This is from the same universe as this oneshot. Yes Connor is the bad guy but so is Cornelius :/

***

“Sarah?”

The resident looked up at the call of her name, seeing April waving her over. She had been heading to the lounge, intending to grab her bag and pick up lunch on her break. Still, the look April gave her had her a bit worried; the nurse had never looked this nervous before. Deciding her lunch could wait, Sarah crossed the ED and was a bit concerned when April immediately grabbed her sleeve and dragged her to the supply room.

“April, what’s wrong?”

Her friend sighed shakily and Sarah could see that she didn’t know how to say what she needed to. She waited, patiently urging her to tell her, not sure what to expect.

“It’s, uh… Have you seen Ava today?”

“Doctor Bekker? Not today no, why?”

April looked close to tears and that scared her, “She.. um…”

Sarah was not expecting her to hand her her phone, hands shaking more than she had ever seen. The screen was open on a message conversation, the subject of which immediately set anxiety flaring in Sarah’s gut. She must have read the texts five times before replying, trying to wrap her head around what was going on.

“Is she..?” her question died before she could finish the sentence, a billion thoughts rushing through her mind. Is she okay? Safe? Home?

“I don’t know,” April admitted, “She told me something the other day and I urged her to get help but this is… not what I expected.”

“April, what’s going on?”

“I don’t think she would want me to tell you…”

“April,” Sarah grabbed her hand gently and the touch made her make eye contact, “If she’s in danger I need to know.”

Sarah and Ava weren’t too close but they were friendly. They had had many morning coffees together while working with Robin and Ava always had a kind greeting when she passed by the ED. She liked the surgeon, considered her a colleague she could trust, but she never expected this behaviour from her. She also knew she was supposed to be at work today and it was very unlike Ava to miss a day of work, which only amplified the anxiety she felt.

“She… um… It’s about Connor.”

“What about him?”

“He… He’s been hurting her,” April mumbled, “Not physically exactly but… she said he’s been pushing her to sleep with him and being really manipulative. She sounded so scared, Sarah; it didn’t even sound like Ava.”

That sent Sarah’s blood boiling. She knew Connor could be an asshole and had a ridiculous God complex but this was way past what she expected from him. Ava wasn’t one to show fear so if she sounded scared and was confiding in one of the nurses then it must be a big deal. The text conversation was rushing through her mind again, terrified for her colleague’s wellbeing at that point.

I can’t do this anymore, April.

I don’t want to see him ever again.

It hurts too much.

April grabbed onto her wrist, staring at her friend with tearful eyes, “I’m covering for Maggie today, I can’t leave. I’m scared, Sarah, I don’t know what she’s going to do.”

Sarah nodded, checking the time on her watch, “If you cover for me I’ll go check on her, okay? Don’t tell Doctor Charles where I am… Just say I had to go take care of something.”

The nurse sighed shakily, agreeing, “Let me know, okay?”

“I’ll do my best to keep her safe.”

***

Sarah drove to Ava’s apartment purely from muscle memory, having only been there a handful of times. Her mind was racing, praying that her friend was safe until she got there. She didn’t know what to expect, terrified that Ava would do something rash before she could talk her down. Sarah wanted to think that Ava wouldn’t do it, part of her saying that the surgeon was way too smart and level-headed to do anything permanent. Still, the texts she sent April and the things she had told her Ava said made her think otherwise. The other woman was clearly terrified and in pain and Sarah genuinely wasn’t sure what she would be capable of in that mindset.

Sarah knew her apartment door would be locked and she was sure that Ava wouldn’t unlock the door if she was preoccupied or upset. Luckily, she knew that she kept another key taped onto the inside of her mail slot, which gave her some hope that she would get to Ava in time. She did still knock, calling out to her and waiting for a moment. When she didn’t hear a reply or footsteps after five minutes, Sarah knew she couldn’t risk waiting any longer.

“Ava, I’m coming inside!” she called out again as she wrestled the key from its hiding spot and unlocked the door. She slipped into the apartment, finding the immaculate kitchen and living room to be spotless and void of any sign of the surgeon. She felt her anxiety rise as she walked down the hallway, flinching when she heard a familiar voice muttering to herself, tone thick with what Sarah could only describe as agony.

“Disgusting…” Ava was saying from inside the bathroom, “How could you let this happen again? Why did you do this?”

“Ava?” Sarah nudged the bathroom door a bit so it swung open partially, her words catching as she happened upon the sight in front of her. Ava was in the bathtub, in her scrubs as if she had completely planned to go to work that day. She had a loofa in her hand and was scrubbing aggressively at her arms, which were covered in open wounds and bleeding heavily with each movement. Sarah wanted to cry at the sight, realizing her friend hadn’t acknowledged her presence yet because she was stuck in her own head.

“Oh my god, Ava…”

The surgeon finally did look up at her, cheeks stained with mascara and tears, “Go.”

“No,” Sarah was on the floor beside the bathtub in seconds, trying to keep both of them calm, “Ava, you need help.”

The blonde shook her head aggressively, her curls bouncing, “I need to get rid of him,” she continued scrubbing her skin raw as blood mixed with the bath water.

“What happened?”

“Men,” she spat tearfully, “All they do is take and destroy. I can’t believe I fell for this again. I can’t… why did I let them touch me again, Sarah?”

“Who, Ava?” she asked gently, trying to approach the situation gently. She wanted to keep her talking, keep her distracted so she could reach for the scalpel balanced on the edge of the bathtub. The blade was bloodied and evidence of its razor sharp cuts littered Ava’s body. While her chest was still covered by her scrub top, her legs were bare in the water and her thighs bore just as many cuts as her arms, if not more. This was bad, Sarah knew it was bad, and she didn’t know how long Ava would have lasted if she hadn’t arrived when she did.

“Connor… Cornelius… m-my dad…”

The words had the blonde shaking again, the sponge back to tearing at the surgically precise slices in her skin. The water was almost completely opaque and Sarah knew her cuts were too deep for her to stay there, she needed medical attention and stitches, sooner rather than later if they were going to avoid a major transfusion. This was horrible, worse than Sarah had thought. She didn’t want to press her, didn’t need to bring up the trauma now, but she could only assume the worst. April had said Connor hadn’t hurt her physically that she knew of but Sarah was totally blind to what had happened with his father or Ava’s.

“Ava… I’m so sorry,” Sarah murmured, “It’s not your fault.”

“I l-let them…”

“No, if you said no then you didn’t. If you revoked consent at any point then they should have stopped.”

She looked up at Sarah, eyes unfocused as if she couldn’t force herself to look at her properly. She was lightheaded, losing her alertness, Sarah could tell the lack of blood was getting to her.

“I can’t get clean,” she interrupted herself in a heart wrenching sob, “I s-still feel him… everywhere.”

“Ava, come here,” Sarah offered her a hand carefully, “We’ll go to med and get you cleaned up, okay?”

“No!” her screech was bloodcurdling and she was immediately drawing away from her colleague, “I c-can’t… he- He’s there, no. I can’t see him again.”

Sarah tried to hush her, apologizing softly, “No, he won’t be allowed near you. I can even ask Kim to come stand outside your room, okay? He’ll never touch you again.”

“No… no no no.”

“Ava, you need help; let me help.”

Ava was shaking her head fiercely, the sponge dropping into the reddened water, ���I don’t need help! I just need… I need the pain to stop!”

Before Sarah could even blink she was scrambling for the scalpel, bloodied hands gripping the thing shakily. She didn’t listen to Sarah’s pleading and just swatted her hands away, pressing the blade to her neck just enough for a red mark to become readily visible.

“Ava, no. Please,” Sarah was crying, begging her to stop. She knew if she tried to grab at the thing the surgeon would only slice through her carotid before she could stop her. She had never been in a situation like this before, not with someone actively threatening her life. She remembered the aftermath of Jason’s death, the evidence of his end all over the sidewalk. That had been hard enough, knowing she hadn't been there for him when he needed someone the most. If Ava did it now, when she was right there, Sarah wasn’t sure how she would react.

“I can’t do this, Sarah…” she was still sobbing, blade pressed to her skin a bit harder, “My life is ruined.”

“No, it’s not. Ava, please.”

Ava pointed to the toilet, making Sarah turn to see what she was shakily gesturing to. Balanced precariously on top of the lid was a piece of plastic and Sarah could see two more in the trash can. The doctor in her knew what it was immediately but she didn’t want to believe it, didn’t want it to be real for Ava’s sake. Upon further inspection, she saw two little pink lines on the thing, finally cluing in to what was going on. She wanted to cry even more, her heart breaking for Ava. She didn’t know if it was Connor’s or Cornelius’, didn’t want to ask, just knew that neither option would be good.

“I-”

“I’m s-sorry, Sarah…”

Before Sarah could even properly react, before her eyes even caught sight of the motion, her ears were filled with a cry of agony. She couldn’t reach Ava fast enough, the scalpel doing its job too well as it slid easily through the skin on the left side of her neck. Sarah screamed, she must have because her throat ached immediately, but she barely heard it. Her hand was pressed to Ava’s wound immediately, hands scrabbling to grab at any towel or fabric nearby. She was crying so much she couldn’t see, vision cloudy as she tried to staunch the flow of blood from the wound. She was pleading with Ava, begging her to stay with her even though deep down she knew she wouldn’t be able to. A part of her wished she would fall unconscious, not wanting her to experience such pain, but that would be worse. She knew she screamed for help and then yelled at her siri to call 911 because she couldn’t fish her phone out of her pocket with one hand. It was all so fuzzy, her memories clouded by pain and fear. She was trying so hard to stay focused, to save Ava, but she was shaking so badly she just wanted it to end.

I just want the pain to end.

[afewmarvelousthoughts]

Falling Ch. 2

Master List: @afewmarvelousthoughtsadmin​

Pairing: Bucky X Reader [and a few more to come]

Summary: For a moment you had something good, something wonderful. But moments pass. Now, left with nothing but the ashes of a life and a love you fought so hard for, you find yourself in a free fall. Who will you be once you hit the bottom? [Sequel to Only For A Moment but can be read independently.]

Warnings: Loss, grief

A/N: Honestly, idk what to say. I 100% made myself cry with this one. So there’s that. Also, I love Steve Rogers. 

Hope y’all don’t hate me too much. 

TAGS ARE OPEN

It feels like falling. You wonder if the very ground beneath you is crumbling as he did. When your knees crash into the solid earth you realize that isn’t the case. 

Still, the feeling persists. 

Plummeting. Untethered. A free fall you can’t stop. 

Until Okoye’s cry cuts through your consciousness like a knife. 

Sucking in a breath you return to yourself. But… Everything feels wrong. 

The pain that had burned through your body and mind has faded to a low hum replaced with the distinct feeling of drowning as you become acutely aware of everything around you.  

It feels like your perception is being pulled in a billion directions. Your power had gotten out of hand before - causing you to be hyper aware of even the salt in your own sweat - but this… It was as though you could feel the composition of creation. 

Shuri told you, after studying your ability, that your brain erected subconscious buffers to regulate your ability, preventing you from going too far. It explained the headaches that plagued you when you used too much of your power and, you supposed, your newly hemorrhaging eyes. Just your body doing all it could to force you to self preserve. 

Clearly, those barriers had been blown to hell. 

You don’t speak - the way sound shakes the air, the particles undulating like ripples on water, was honestly unbearable - but on shaky legs you rise to find Okoye.  

Gently you lay a hand on her trembling shoulder, trying not to feel the rush of blood through her body or the tiny innumerable particles that made her. Just like you felt Bucky before- 

She rounds to look at you and that falling feeling returns, pulling you from those dangerous thoughts. The shocked, horrified woman before you isn’t the Okoye you know, something has broken inside her, a thought you cannot bear. 

“The king,” her voice, barely a whisper, still makes you flinch. Her eyes begin to search behind you, a bit frantic before returning to meet your gaze. “Buck-” You cut her off by shaking your head. 

She doesn’t move to embrace you, doesn’t try to offer comfort, and you couldn’t love her more for it. All you’re both able to do is stare, immobile, for several beats as the weight of what has happened settles over you. 

“Shuri,” she hisses.

Immediately you both bolt, sprinting full speed for the lab. 

You chose to ignore how far behind you Okoye is, or how your feet are hardly touching the ground. Just as you choose to ignore the sounds arising from the battlefield, or the tangible feel of ashes on the air - of ashes in your still clenched right hand. 

There’s only room for one thought. Shuri. 

The madness on the landing deck is the only thing that draws you up short. Running feet stir piles of ash, sending the fine substance up in plumes that make it look as though a low fog has settled in. Making it worse, shouts and cries roll through the air like thunder. You never knew sound could be so heavy. 

You feel Okoye run up behind you, somehow recognizing the space she occupies almost on instinct. It makes you think of the void that remained after-

“Bast,” she says in a voice dripping with horror. A glimmer of the Okoye you know shows as she squares her shoulders marching forward into the chaos. Determined to not leave her side you follow, focusing on planting your feet one before the other lest you be swept away, lost in the feeling of the world around you. 

Stepping into the seating area outside the lab brings back the falling sensation. 

Maybe if you’d tried harder, demanded that he say back, refused to let him fight. Maybe-

A cry so heart-rending and feral blots out any other thought. It’s the kind of sound that could only come from a mother.

“No,” Okoye breathes. 

A mournful King’s Guard stands by a pile of ash. Ramonda’s hands search through it as though she could pull her daughter from the grey substance. Her cries fill the space, thick and haunting. 

“Queen Mother,” Okoye whispers, falling to one knee behind Ramonda. 

“General, where is he?” Ramonda turns, her hands covered in ash, eyes wild and desperate. 

“I’m so sorry,” Okoye’s voice breaks. “I… I couldn’t…” 

You expect Ramonda to scream, rage, anything. Her children were gone, she could scream until the end of time and be justified. Instead, she sits back on her heels, eyes on the ceiling. Some pain is so great there is no way to express it. 

After a moment her gaze falls to you, still standing frozen in the entrance. 

“Sergeant Barnes?” She asks. They’d been close, sharing many afternoons together over coffee or tea talking about everything and nothing. 

You want to honor her with the dignity of an answer. Truly you do. But something churns in your chest, trapping the words. All you can do is shake your head. 

“Bast, save us.” She pulls Okoye to her, holding tight as the tears come. Ramonda extends a hand out to you but... you just can’t. 

In a daze, you turn, walking away from the lab unsure where your feet are taking you until you stand before the door to the ready-room you and Bucky had prepared for the battle in. 

Almost. You almost make it inside. Instead, you walk past a few doors before stepping into another ready-room. With a whoosh, the door slides open and then closes behind you leaving you in blessed silence. 

Why were you here? What good was being in here? What could you possibly… Your right-hand rises, still clenched in a tight fist, holding…

Anything not nailed down begins to tremble in the small room. The mirror above the sink makes almost imperceptible creaking sounds as it splinters. A book hurtles from somewhere unseen and slams into the wall with enough force to break the binding sending pages fluttering. Then it stops. 

A page flutters up and over to you, even though the thought of grabbing one was barely half-formed in your mind. You don’t care what the page says, you just hold it with your left hand while you ever so slowly convince your right to open. 

You can feel your power buzzing around your hand, plucking away every last speck of ash from your skin, not letting one small piece fall away. With the utmost care, you guide the small grey mass to the paper and set it down. 

It strikes you that it’s such a small amount, barely a handful, and yet to you it is the most precious substance in existence. It’s him. It’s all you have-

The room begins to shake once more and you cut off your thoughts. Carefully, you fold the paper around the ashes and tuck the makeshift packet into a pocket sewn into the lining of the vest you wore. 

Unsure of what else to do you make your way back to the chaos of the landing deck. Warriors from the field had begun to return, shellshocked or enraged. 

You see M’Baku towering above a small cluster. When his eyes fall on you he scowls before looking away. 

For a moment you simply allow the chaos to overwhelm you. Each sound rattling in your bones. The feeling of that hunger you’d felt after the stones beginning to ache. You almost hope it will all drive you mad. Madness was prefferable to mourning. 

Someone grabs your arm, pulling your focus to them. Ayo. 

“There were several crashes in the city, we could use your help,” she says, voice oddly calm. You just nod and follow her, grateful for any distraction. 

-

This feeling wasn’t a new one to Steve. He knew far too well what it was to fall so deep into himself that the world around him became an echo. It was the only way he’d made it through the first leg of his life - through the sounds of his parent’s fights, the constant street scrapes, the anger in him that always threatened to crest into something as ugly and violent as his father. 

And he felt it the last time he watched James Barnes die. 

Sam would say it wasn’t healthy, that he needed to process the situation. But Sam wasn’t here, and honestly, over the last 60 or so hours he’d been deeply grateful for the feeling. 

Just like it always did, it protected him, allowed him to get back up. Or in this case allowed him to let Natasha and Rhodey take the jet to go find Clint and Pepper, let him be of some use here in Wakanda while he waited for them to return. It let him do what he needed to - eat, drink, sleep, keep moving - in order to make them all think he was ok, that he had a plan, that he could still be what they needed. 

He’d been grateful. Until he saw you on a stretcher, blood staining the side of your face. 

Maybe if he’d been present, he would have noticed that you hadn’t stopped since the battle. Maybe he would have realized that you hadn’t slept or eaten or-

“I don’t think she’s said a word since he died…” Okoye says in a small voice. Her eyes glued to her clasped hands, leg bouncing in anxiety. 

He wouldn’t know. He wouldn’t know because the couple of times he saw you it seemed you were on a mission, moving with intent, doing what needed to be done just as he was. But he should have known. 

You were his friend. You were his family. Bucky’s gal… How many times could he fail Bucky Barnes?

His chest constricts. Absently he rubs at the ache, trying to think of something useful to say. He opens his mouth to offer some banal platitude but Mosi - the medic seeing to you - saves both him and Okoye from the embarrassment. 

“She’ll be alright I think,” he says with a tired voice. “Dehydrated, so we got her on a drip. She’s still unconscious but that may be for the best right now. Her scans are… different from the last ones Shuri-” He pauses, his throat bobbing as he swallows his emotions. “The last ones Shuri did. It could be due to the head wound but it’s hard to tell.”

“What do you mean different?” Okoye asks. The tone in her voice makes Steve shift uncomfortably. 

“I…” Mosi pauses. “Honestly, I’m trying to quantify it. None of us were actively involved in the assessment of the Barnes’ enhancements, we only assisted when requested.” He sighs, his exhaustion evident. “There doesn’t seem to be damage per se but the readings are erratic. There are parts of her brain that seem to be activating her power that never showed on past scans and…” 

“And what?” Steve asks, his anxiety mounting. 

“None of Shuri’s research shows Y/N’s power remaining active in a truly unconscious state. They tried it under sedation and it was completely dormant.” He sits heavily in one of the chairs. “Right now, there is a constant flow of energy, like someone just left the tap on.” 

“Dammit, Y/N,” Okoye grumbles. Steve looks at her confused. “She pushed herself too far. You saw her eyes during the battle right?! They were bleeding.”

“Ah,” Mosi sighs, “that explains the ruptured blood vessels. If she did over use her power it’s possible that she just needs rest - like any overworked muscle.” 

Steve nods, rubbing his temples as he leans back in the chair.  

“We’ll closely monitor-” A distinct tremble pulses through the building cutting him off. No sooner does it pass than another, stronger, shake comes. 

“Earthquake?” Steve asks, getting to his feet. 

Okoye shakes her head as she stands, “No, the building’s frame is vibranium it shouldn’t-” The next tremor almost knocks them all down and sends the monitors in your room screaming in alarm. 

Whatever Steve expected to see when he rushed into your room it was not what awaited him. 

The door slides open as the thick glass shatters outward with a deafening crash. Just outside, your body floats, head lolling to the side, pieces of glass continuing to shatter about you sparkling like glitter in the twilight. He calls out to you but is helpless as you float out into the growing darkness. 

Okoye stands just behind him, eyes wide with fear and worry. 

“Keep an eye on her as long as you can and update me on where she may be heading.” Okoye nods in acknowledgment as he sprints from the room. 

Steve’s chest burns like his lungs just can’t bring in enough oxygen. Suddenly he’s a kid again, gasping for air, praying that this won’t be the time his body chooses to quit on him. 

Doubling over, once he reaches the landing deck, he rests his hands on his knees, trying to count his breaths, trying to center himself. There wasn’t time for him to fall apart. Not now. 

“Steve?” Thor asks from his perch on one of the hovercrafts. The raccoon - Rocket - sits beside him. 

“What’s wrong?” Thor’s hand rests heavily on his shoulder. It’s too much like a gesture Bucky would often make. He pulls away. 

“Y/N,” he pants, still trying to force his lungs to work. “Something’s wrong, she-” Okoye’s voice in his ear interrupts him.

“Steve, I… I think she’s heading to where… it happened.” 

There was no need to explain what it was. 

“Copy,” he answers.

“I’m on my way down,” Okoye says. 

“No, I can-”

“I’m coming.” Her tone brooches no argument. 

“We’ll come too,” Thor says, getting on the craft. Rocket just shrugs. 

When the four of them arrive at the edge of the woods it’s eerily quiet. 

“There’s no breeze,” Thor comments quietly. He was right. A slight wind had been blowing on the landing deck but here, everything was unnaturally still. “Her power…” 

Steve doesn’t like the awe in Thor’s voice. You were gifted, of that there was no question. But you’d been clear enough that there were limits to what you could do and how long you could use your abilities. 

With a pang, he remembers Wanda teasing you about it over dinner more than once. 

“There,” Okoye whispers. 

He sees you and feels a pain shoot through his heart. 

You’re standing just as you had days ago, in the same place, but your hands - palms out - are pressed to nothing but empty air. Around your feet dust swirls in a slow circle, the only movement to be seen. From here, he can’t see your face, but your head is cocked to the side, almost as if you’re listening to something in the distance. 

Part of him wants to run. Just leave you to your sorrow because he can’t bear it. Because this, this brings to gut-wrenching clarity a thought he’d been avoiding for days. 

You had tried to use your power to save Bucky. 

He can’t begin to comprehend what that must have been like. What must you have felt as your husband died…

The snapping of a stick beneath Thor’s foot causes your head to twitch in their direction though you don’t move otherwise. 

“Y/N?” Okoye calls softy. “Sister, why don’t you come with us?” She extends her hand, “I’ll take you home.”

Steve wishes it was just his imagination making him feel the tremor move from your body into the ground. But the shaking of the leaves above them in response to Okoye’s last word tells him it was real. 

He looks to the others, seeing tense faces stare back at him. Rocket’s ears twitch wildly. 

“We need to back up. Now.” Immediately he begins to put more space between himself and you. Thor nods, following his lead. Okoye looks from them to you and back, unsure. 

No. He’d failed you, failed Bucky, and Sam, and Wanda, and everyone. He couldn’t turn away from you now. 

Slowly, he makes his way to your side, his body tingling with an entirely foreign sensation. 

“Y/N,” his voice almost a whisper. “Come on, let’s-” As soon as his hand touches your shoulder he’s flung back. Thor catches him, pulling him away from you and settling him on the ground. 

Gobsmacked Steve stares, hardly able to breathe or think, only capable of gaping slack-jawed as the dust at your feet begins to spin faster and faster. 

Slowly, the air around you begins to swirl with debris from the ground. A foot, two three, the radius grows until there’s a five-foot minimum of dirt, dust, stones, and other forest refuse filling the space, up and up past the tops of the trees.  

Even so, it remains strangely quiet save for the rustling of the foliage. It could almost be peaceful. Until your scream shatters the illusion. 

He’d heard this scream before. It was the scream that rang through bombed cities in the war, through New York when the Citauri attacked, and Sokovia as buildings crumbled burying families inside. It was the sound of loss so profound that it reduced someone to their basest animal nature. 

It seems to pull every ounce of pain he’d tried to run from to the surface. Desperately, he tries to tamp it down, gritting his teeth as tears slide unbidden from his eyes. 

Thor hits his knees beside Steve, coving his face. Rocket looks away. Okoye stares, tears silently carving paths down her cheeks. 

What could any of them do? What comfort could they give?

Your cries shake the ground, cause the trees to groan, small thunder-like rumbles rise and fall as though you were ripping the particles in the air apart like lightning. Maybe you were… 

All he knew was that at this moment your pain was the pain of a universe in mourning. You expressed what they all felt but did not have the capability to release. 

A strange creaking groan slowly gets louder as the earth shakes. 

Tear it all down, Y/N, he thinks. I’m too tired to save it anymore.

His sight is blurred with tears he can’t seem to let fall so he thinks he imagines the woman stepping past them, moving serenely toward your maelstrom, her white hair tumbling down her back. 

“Queen Mother, don’t!” Okoye cries, shaken from her stupor. She grabs the woman's arm. Ramonda turns to her, a sad smile on her face.

“Let go of me, General.” Okoye doesn’t move. “Oko,” Ramonda coos, cupping her face with a hand. “It will be alright. She’s just hurting.” 

Okoye takes a halting step away from the Queen before collapsing back to the ground. 

Steve holds his breath as he watches Ramonda enter the cyclone of debris surrounding you - so sure that a rogue branch or rock would strike her down. You’d never forgive yourself if-

He shoots to his feet, ready to rush after Ramonda, pull her to safety for all your sakes but he freezes. 

Incredibly she’s made it to you unscathed. Through the haze of dust, he sees her arms wrap around you, your body still shaking with screams, and pull your back against her chest. 

Relief only has the briefest moment to touch him before, with one final groan, the ground around you gives way. 

-

Falling. 

You’re falling and you don’t want it to stop. 

The further you fall the better, the further you fall the more likely this pain will end when you reach the bottom. And that’s all you want right now. Just for the pain to end and to take this insidious hunger along with it.  

“I know child, I know it hurts,” a voice, thick with tears whispers in your ear. “I know.”

The sound cuts your scream off at the root leaving you gasping and bringing the ground up to meet you. 

It was not far enough. 

Though both of you are sent to your knees the arms around your chest do not release you. They only hold tighter. 

“Let it out.” The voice whispers. Only then do you realize your scream had morphed into a guttural sob. 

It hurt.

The salt in your tears stings your eyes so badly it feels like someone is grinding sand in them and your throat is so raw you’d think you swallowed fire. Your body feels like it was hit by a bus, muscles throbbing, a bone-deep ache permeating your whole being, and that strange hunger grinding somewhere deep within you. But you can’t stop. The tears just keep flowing. 

Gone. He was gone. And you failed to save him.

This was worse than the loss of your chosen family. Then, you were trapped, held prisoner, unable to get to them fast enough. Now…

You had him in your hands. You had power beyond comprehension at your literal fingertips. And still, it wasn’t enough. Still, you felt him leave you bit by bit. 

“Bucky!” His name trips over your lips, a desperate plea, a prayer. Again and again, you call for him knowing he will not answer you. 

Eventually, you run out of tears and slump into the arms holding you, your head on their shoulder. Forcing your eyes open you look up at Ramonda’s tearstained but serene face. A mother’s face. 

Gently she brushes the hair from your damp cheeks before pressing her lips to your forehead. If you had the ability to shed one more tear you would have. Your own mother had feared you, maybe even hated you, so this kind of care was foreign but god, you never wanted her to let go. 

Your eyes slide shut as she starts humming a low song. It isn’t something you know but the cadence of the notes sound like a lullaby. 

The presence of others presses into your awareness. She doesn’t react so you feel no need to either. 

One of her arms releases you to draw another person near. A person you know. Okoye. 

Opening your eyes the best you can you reach for her, the warm feeling of her palm in yours feels good. 

A small hand rests on your thigh. The feeling is an odd one and you look down. Rocket, the one who tried to buy Bucky’s arm, gazes at you with wide shimmering eyes - pain clear on his features. With your free hand, you cover his and he leans into you.  

With eyes half-mast you barely see Thor draw close. Ramonda reaches her other hand to him and he takes it. A soft cry comes from him. 

“I know,” Ramonda pauses her song to whisper. “Captain?” 

Steve is before you all, standing, looking away. When Ramonda calls to him he closes the small distance and kneels before you. His eyes look red from tears but he seems so solid otherwise. 

With a knuckle, he brushes your cheek, it comes away pink. Your eyes must have bled again… You must have-

It’s then that you look just over Steve’s shoulder and realize… You are all huddled in a fucking crater. 

Falling. You had felt like you were falling. You had thought about the ground crumbling when Bucky had and… You pull away from the others, pushing past Steve to the other side of the crater. 

You press your hands to the wall, about six feet high, and they come away black with fresh earth. Slowly you turn, taking in the size of the thing.

When your gaze settles on the group, most still leaning on one another, they look concerned.  

“Y/N?” Steve’s tone is cautious. 

“I did this,” you breathe in realization, voice hoarse. 

“It’s ok, Y/N. No one was-”

“No!” You snap. “It isn’t ok. I can’t do this! I shouldn’t… I can’t-” Breathe. You cannot breathe. 

Grasping your chest you heave, feeling like your heart may burst. Panic overwhelms you. 

“You just need to rest,” Okoye’s voice this time. “You haven’t stopped since-”

“No,” you rasp, shaking your head frantically. You begin to pace. “No. You don’t understand.” You lean against the wall and sink down, hiding your face in your knees as you begin to shake all over. 

Your mind buzzes trying to sort all the things it’s sensing, like trying to pick out each individual voice in a crowd of thousands. Beneath the chaos is the low rumble you remembered from before, that hunger. Your fingers run through your hair, grasping your skull. 

“Something is wrong. Wrong with me. I can’t… I can’t…”

“What can’t you do, Y/N?” Steve asks. 

“Control it!” You shout looking up at them. The soft earth beneath you shifts and you gasp covering your mouth, scared you’ll just start screaming again. The tension hangs heavy in the air. 

“It’s alright,” Ramonda says moving closer. “We are all struggling to control this grief. It must make it harder to harness these gifts.” Her soft smile makes you wish she was right, makes you want to let her mother you and tell you it will all be fine and believe her. 

But she’s wrong. You shake your head. 

“That isn’t it. I-” Your voice cracks. “Something is wrong.” You’re too tired to think but you have to say it because you know it must be the cause. 

“I touched them,” you manage. 

“Touched what?” Okoye asks. 

“The stones,” Thor whispers. “You touched the stones with your power.” You meet his mismatched eyes and nod. 

“Christ,” Steve hisses, pacing away. 

“You’re lucky you’re even alive,” Rocket says. “That’s cosmic, concentrated energy you tapped into, you should be-”

You can’t help the bitter laugh that pours from you. 

“Lucky,” you growl. “Lucky. That’s me, so fucking lucky!” You push yourself quickly to your feet. 

The world tips sideways and everything goes dark. 

When your eyes flutter open again you’re on a hovercraft, Steve’s arms cradling you tight to his chest. 

Shame thrums through you. 

“I’m ok, Steve,” you say. “You can put me down.”

“It’s fine,” his tone is hard edged, cold. 

“Really, I-” His arms flex, holding you tighter. When you get to the landing deck you pry yourself from his grasp with your power, landing softly on your feet. He tosses a look that isn’t quite a glare at you but says nothing. 

Instead of going back to the lab, you all follow Ramonda as if on instinct, to the royal residences. A line of wayward children. 

Being in Ramonda’s welcoming home threatens to send a tremor through you - and everything around you. Too many afternoons you’d come here after training to see Bucky sitting on the balcony, lit golden in the sunset, drinking tea… The thought of his smile makes some deep place in you ache. 

Thor collapses into one of the couches, looking like a husk of a man. You had seen him earlier that day but perhaps he too was reaching his breaking point. It looks like Rocket will join him for a beat but he heads to the balcony, his eyes fixed on the sky as though looking for something. 

You stand, unsure what to do. 

“Sit,” Ramonda insists. You do as she says, avoiding the large chair you usually shared with Bucky, opting for a pile of floor pillows instead. 

When Steve, Okoye, and Ramonda return with food and tea you realize, guiltily, that you hadn’t noticed their absence or even really registered time passing. No one moves for the food, lost in their own misery. 

“Eat, all of you,” Ramonda says in a maternal voice. 

She needs to care for someone, you think. 

Not wanting to disappoint her you force yourself to take some tea and nibble on a piece of flatbread. It all tastes like dust. 

At some point you lost the thread of the conversation. Mainly Okoye filling the silence with plans, Ramonda saying something about the elder council meeting. 

You kept playing the events of earlier through your head - hating that you had broken like that, hating how you likely terrified them all - when Okoye coughed. It wasn’t subtle. Neither was the pointed glance she and Steve exchanged. 

You bristle. 

“Come on,” Steve stands, extending a hand to you. Choosing to not take it you rise fluidly to your feet, your power, rather than your tired muscles propelling you. 

Ramonda cups your face in her hands before kissing both your cheeks. She doesn’t say a word, just presses her forehead to yours before releasing you. 

With no explanation from him, he leads you to the apartment he uses when he visits. You manage to hold your tongue until the door closes behind you both. 

“Were you assigned to babysit?” At any other time, the venom in his glare would have stung. “I can-”

“Don’t,” his voice is low. He turns and rummages through a drawer, pulling out a plain black tee and boxers. “Here. Go shower.” 

There’s something barely contained in his actions, a tension begging to be released. You feel guilty for your quip but don’t think an apology will be welcome. Plus, you can feel every grain of sand, every bit of dirt, the salt from your sweat all clinging to your skin, it’s unbearable.

The shower doesn’t help. All you can think of as the hot water hits your skin is that you should have showered with Bucky this morning… Two mornings ago? Three? Honestly, you didn’t know how much time had passed. 

You finish quickly. Looking in the mirror you notice the swath of scalp showing where they shaved your head around a wound. 

Vaguely you remember helping to clear the alien debris that had been left behind. Someone slipped and got pinned, you’d easily freed them but lost focus and your grip on the metal. 

You press a finger to the skin, soft and beginning to bruise but sealed with Wakandan perfection. Staring listlessly at your reflection you press harder, the pain making you feel present, reminding you this was real. 

This woman in the mirror… you don’t know her. Your fingers rub around the wound and slip into your hair pulling it tight. If you pulled hard enough… On the open shelves by the sink, you spot the clippers. That would be faster. 

The buzzing noise is almost unbearable as is the sensation of all the little whirring parts. But you push past it. 

Bit by bit your hair - grown long and thick over these past few years of love, of hope, of rebirth and rebuilding yourself from what Hydra made of you - falls to the floor. 

When you finish you look back in the mirror. You know this ghost. 

It isn’t a comfort. 

Your chest seizes. Gripping the edge of the counter you fold forward. One question screams in your head over and over. 

Shaking your head you try to clear it, feeling strands of hair slip from your shoulders. Frantically you reach for the t-shirt and pull it on before flinging the door open. 

Steve sits on the edge of the bed, elbows on his knees, head hanging. 

“Steve?” You ask in a tremulous voice. He looks up, his face a map of pain. “What do we do? What… What do we do…” Without Bucky. That was what you really meant. Without Bucky what were you supposed to do?

“I-” His voice cracks. “I don’t know.” He shakes his head, “God help me but… I don’t… I don’t know.” When the sob breaks free he almost looks startled by it, his hand flying to his mouth, eyes wide with fear. 

He keeps shaking his head, “Y/N, I don’t know… I’m sorry I-” That’s it. That’s all he has left. 

Here, away from the world, Steve Rogers breaks. 

For a beat you’re unsure what to do. You’d never seen him cry, never seen him fully lose his grip on that invisible shield he never put down. 

There is so little you can give him. Still, you go to him, pulling him to you, holding tight. It isn’t much but this is all you have.

His face presses against your abdomen, his tears soaking through the shirt fabric. Even though you thought you’d cried all you could, you feel the tears come, rolling quietly down your cheeks and landing in his golden hair as you run your fingers through it.

When your tired legs will no longer hold you up you crawl into the bed. Neither of you speak but you hold on for dear life until oblivion offers relief from this consuming grief.

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[crqstalite]

"Who did this to you?" + #7 please!!

more dragon age content from me? more likely than i thought.

i think i spoke on it previously in another ask, but reyna’s entire late game character is...kind of a terrible person? not super morally redeemable either. and not at all a fan of the templar order or meredith. like she has her reasons, but are they all justifiable? probably not.

f!handers. late act 3, dragon age II. not at all templar positive. mentions of injuries.

-

There were better ways to spend an evening. Like at home roughhousing with your mabari, or at the Hanged Man getting your coin stolen or stealing others coins. Waiting up for your mage partner was one of the less entertaining ones, but still viable. There was enough wine left in the cellar to make it more fun and knock her out sooner if anything.

That wasn’t the way she chose to spend the spring evening though. No, Reyna Hawke had better things to do. Morally better than getting wasted and mourning everything she’s lost? That was debatable. Her ankle probably shouldn’t have ever been twisted the way it was, no, decidedly no bone was supposed to click the way it was now. There’s a nice knot at the back of her head that’s throbbing like no tomorrow. A clean cut through her shoulder from a sword that was probably on a trajectory to end her then and there if she hadn’t moved in time. Three or four bruises down her spine from falling the wrong way, the wind still feels like it was knocked out of her.

She’s getting sloppy. Reyna hadn’t thought there’d be so many out and about tonight, Meredith’s grip was tightening on Kirkwall since she took power and she’d forgotten to stake out for long enough to make it look more like an accident rather than a pre-planned massacre.

Still, four of them soaked in their own blood this time. One on the way out to meet Andraste and his precious Maker. It was good hunting, just a night she’d need to reflect on in the next week or so.

Or whatever Aveline would have to say. Reflection was for those who had time and people. Not those who had a bone to pick with the current ruling class.

Her probably dislocated finger says otherwise.

Darktown is relatively empty this time of night, the occasional fire crackling along the wall as she continues on her way. No one who is out gives her a second look. These days when she dresses down, she can be mistaken for any other Kirkwaller. Dark hair, dark eyes, dark clothing. Without the straw yellow hair she’d been toting around for the last six years, she isn’t exactly a beacon anymore to people more than three meters away.

It helped that no one who may have seen her...theatrics, in the back alleys could identify her from their houses. It made her job a little easier.

The torch is still lit at the clinic. Good, that meant Anders was still here and that she wouldn’t have to ascend an absurd amount of stairs to get home.

The heavy door creaks when she pushes it open, alerting the blonde mage to her presence near immediately. Anders jolts from where he’d been sitting, grabbing for his staff, but relaxes once he realizes who it is. And then his brows furrow in concern not a moment later once he actually focuses on her.

The duality.

“Hawke-!”

“It does look bad, I’ll give you that.” Her voice is rougher than she’d expected, closing the door behind her and limping past him over to a chair. A hard landing leads her to groan, though she’s relieved by taking the weight off her ankle, “It...may or may not be as bad as it looks. You pick.”

Three billion thoughts are running through Anders’ head all at once after she says that, and it’s a feat she’d had yet to see. Cogs visibly turning in his head as he sputters trying to answer. She drops her cowl, rolling her jaw when his eyes widen to near dinner plates. Blue flickers on his face and she sighs, “Anders. I’m fine. Alive. Just a little banged up.”

“A little?” He asks, rushing over to her, “You’re bruised black and blue, and you want to say you’re a little banged up?”

She shrugs, then regretting the action as her shoulder clicks, “That is exactly what I’m saying, my dear Anders.”

“Your sarcasm will be the death of me, love.” He takes her head into his hands, tilting it up so that she’s looking directly at him. The real fear in his dark eyes hides nothing, and she wonders for a moment why while he tilts her head left to look at the largest bruise on her jaw. He’d been beside her for years in fight after fight, and he seems only now extremely concerned about mostly minor injuries?

This is probably the most worried she’s seen him since her duel with the Arishok. How odd. It makes her feel a little more loved.

“Who did this to you?” When he speaks again, his voice is quiet and dark. As if he’ll go out and fight them himself, which she doesn’t entirely doubt. That’d be something she’d love to see if she hadn’t already done it herself, and something that’d be great if it didn’t mean Justice was that much closer to snapping and taking control, “I will make them pay.”

Reyna puts a hand over his, raising an eyebrow. The notion is so sweet, yet it’s so misplaced, “That depends, do you want to light a dead body ablaze?”

He pauses, “What?”

“I’ve done it myself. Another bunch of Templars, a few too many this time, but I took care of it.” She smiles, “I got a little sloppy, let them get a few too many hits in. I felt bad they hadn’t been able to defend themselves before. Gave them an inch, they took a mile.”

Anders groans at her admission, and Reyna rolls her eyes. He’s frustrated, she can tell. Maybe because of the Templars, maybe because she’d gone out on her own. One of the two, she never really knew exactly what Anders was thinking at any given time, “Hawke, I thought we talked about this.”

“You’re right, we did. You’re doing what you do best here at the clinic, and I do what I do best when no one’s watching. That’s what I remember that conversation being about, Anders. That and you being insufferable.” She winces and bites down on her tongue, he’s already healing one of the bruises on her cheek. It’s that kind of warm that should be soothing, but is somehow also terribly annoying as her skin is pulled apart and stitched back together, “Think I ran into a few veterans this time. They had a few choice words for me, I had a few for them as well.”

“They’re going to notice the drop in patrols at some point. It isn’t as if this crusade of your’s is sustainable. What then?”

“It isn’t like I’m doing this every night. Just whenever I can get one or two away from the main patrol. At best, they think it’s bandits. As worst, they think it’s a boogeyman.” He starts undoing her top, and she shifts it off to allow him access to the gash down her arm, “It isn’t that bad. Meredith hasn’t even said anything about it yet. Those people are a copper a dozen.”

“The chance of you getting caught goes up by the day, Hawke.” He says quietly, cleaning the wound and placing his hand over it. It’s worse there, Reyna squeezes her eyes shut when it initially burns before giving way to mild throbbing. When she blinks back to looking at him, he wears a disapproving frown, “One of these days someone is going to make the connection. You’re one of the very few hightowners actively loathing the Templar order.”

“As if Elthina has not already seen your face?” She asks. He gives her a pointed look, one she mirrors, “There are more and more of them swarming the clinic during the daytime. Someone in the order knows you’re a mage, and I fear for the day they come and take you.”

“They will never take me.”

“Anders-”

“They will not. And that is final.” He states, his grip on her arm tightening ever so slightly, “They will not take me from you. I can handle them during the daytime, they do not suspect much. Current rumors are that I was sent by Andraste herself.”

“And during the night?” She asks, shifting her arm a bit to look at what he’s done so far. Reyna is still somewhat stunned every time she’s healed by him, the deep cuts leaving little more than just thin scars in their place where his magic touches her, “You don’t come home anymore, Anders.”

“There are nights where I can’t go back to the estate, there are people here who need me.” He answers, brushing his thumb over the scar once he’s done, “I wish I could. I would like nothing more than to.”

“Good for them.” She bites back, running a hand through her hair with her good arm when he pulls back, “I don’t feel safe leaving you here alone with them milling around like feral beasts. If I can’t prowl about the clinic, then I will do so on my own terms.”

“And if you die out there in those back alleys, I would never forgive myself for allowing you to do so, love.”

“You aren’t allowing me to do anything. I chose to because I feel slighted. I am not afraid of them, they are afraid of me. And they will stay that way if I have anything to say about it.”

Silence stretches between them. The unfortunate thing is that one is the unmovable object, the other an unstoppable force. He knows she’s right, thinning out their population only means they can’t be about as far as they usually are -- making it easier for Anders and others to go about their work easier.

She understands his concern, but she doesn’t understand what else she is supposed to do if not take matters into her own hands. She may not have a pretty staff or lightning at her fingertips, but her daggers were not for show.

Another press of his hand, this time against her shoulder. A quick breath before he shoves it back into place  and she bites back a shout, “I only say this out of concern. This isn’t your fight, Hawke.”

“As long as you are by my side, it will always be my fight. And until you are no longer in danger of being taken from me, I will not quit.” She feels as if she is staring into his soul the way his eyes seem so open to her right then and there, “I mean it, Anders. Whatever you need from me, whatever you want from me, I am willing to make that sacrifice.”

Warmth spreads against her shoulder, “I fear you will not say the same thing when the time comes, love.”

“I am not a liar, Anders. They took my sister, they will not take you.”

He presses a kiss to her cheek, “I admire your resolve, Hawke, I have never met a woman like you before.”

“I am aware. I am quite unique.”

His chuckle is dry, and a bit sad, “You are. Whatever comes, let yourself know that I love you more than anything in this desolate world.”

That same declaration echoes in her head for the years that come afterwards.

[ragingbookdragon]

Fireflies

A/N: The only thing better than Damian fics, are Damian fics where they allow Damian to be the innocent little boy he is. Here is my take on it! Based on Owl City’s ‘Fireflies’! -Thorne <3

You would not believe your eyes If ten million fireflies Lit up the world as I fell asleep

           Damian could be described as many things. Grandson (Ra’s), son (Bruce), little-brother (Dick), demon-spawn (Jason & Tim), and best friend (Jon). It was tiring to him to be everything at once; not that he would tell a soul. Since he was a child, he was trained to not show his weaknesses; that weakness was failure, and failure was not allowed. But there were times when Damian could feel at ease with himself. He could let himself go and not be everything everyone saw. Damian could just be himself.

           Over the years of living in the manor, he’d become used to being ‘alone’ and not waited on hand and foot by servants like he’d been when he lived with his mother. His room was his solitude; Jon had even joked that Damian’s room was his version of Superman’s Fortress of Solitude. Of course, he’d made a smart remark to the assumption, but deep down, he’d been startled at the accuracy of the statement. Damian’s room was simplistic in the basic terms. When he’d first arrived, his room screamed, ‘I’m just here for a few days. I’m not staying forever.’ But over the course of the years and the realization that he wasn’t leaving, his room began to grow and take shape of the boy he was. His collection of weapons littered the walls, as well as a few paintings Bruce had bid on and won for him. His desk sat by the window, and on it laid his usual things: his laptop, his school bag and jacket, and his sketchbook and pencils. To other people, Damian’s room was still that of a temporary tenant; but to Damian, it was home. And it was his.

           He’d discovered one night when he was falling asleep that his dreams would almost come alive before he was entirely unconscious. He’d never mention it to anyone, for fear of being labeled weird, or being subjected to unending tests. But Damian saw the way his dreams lit up his room at night; and it all started with millions of tiny fireflies.

‘Cause they fill the open air And leave teardrops everywhere You’d think me rude, but I would just stand and stare

           I’ve got to be dreaming. He told himself. There’s no way this many bugs are in my room. He stared in idle wonder, watching the tiny, living lights float across his room. Where they went, they left small silver drops that sparkled like diamonds. He crawled out from under his covers and looked around, seeing them in all directions. Damian reached out a hand, feeling some of them land on it. They sat upon his palm, small and blinking before taking off and moving around again. He spun in bewildered circles, his eyes taking in every light he could see. I must be dreaming…this isn’t possible.

I’d like to make myself believe That planet Earth turns slowly It’s hard to say I’d rather stay awake when I’m asleep ‘Cause everything is never as it seems

           If you asked Damian how much he knew, he would tell you what he tells everyone: “I’m smarter than you’ll ever hope to be, and that is all you need to know.” Of course, this usually made his family laugh, except for his father, who would just run his hands down his face in exasperation. Tired or not, what Damian said was true. He knew more knowledge than anyone could ever hope to gain in their life. Sometimes, Damian wished he could change the things he knew; sometimes, he wished he could unlearn the things he knew. Damian wished he was still a young boy, crawling out of the bed from beside his mother and walking to the window to stare up at the billions of stars in the night sky. He wished he could make himself believe that the Earth turned slowly, giving everyone time to be where they wanted to be, instead of it spinning the thousands of miles an hour that it did.

           He placed his suit back in the glass case and pulled down the shirt he’d been putting on. A hand rested on his shoulder and he looked up, seeing his father stand beside him; Bruce wore a calm expression as he said, “Don’t beat yourself up over what happened tonight Damian. No one could’ve predicted Penguin joining the fight.” Damian scoffed and ripped his shoulder from his grasp, slamming the glass case shut.

           “I am not in favor of beating myself up. That is Todd and Drake’s favorite pastime.” Sharp noises of offence came from Jason and Tim, but he paid them no mind as he began walking towards the stairs. “It was not my incompetence that ruined the plan tonight.” He ascended the stairs into the manor, leaving the group behind. Dick walked beside Bruce and crossed his arms.

           “Do you think Damian’s been rather occupied of late?” Bruce nodded and murmured,

           “He’s been confined to his room more than usual. I’m beginning to worry that something is wrong.”

           “I’ll try and talk to him later.” Bruce nodded, watching Dick and the others climb the stairs.

           Damian closed the door to his room, locking it behind him and racing to his bed. He climbed in, pulling the covers up to neck; he closed his eyes and began slowing his breathing in hopes of drifting off to sleep faster. He was almost asleep when the sound of a fist knocking on his door reached his ears, and his eyes snapped open, turning in the direction of the sound. “Little D? Kiddo? Can I come in?” Damian’s eyes narrowed and he climbed out of his bed, stalking towards the door and unlocking it before opening it a crack.

           “What do you want Richard?” Dick’s lips curled upwards and he leaned against the doorframe.

           “I want to talk. Can I come in?”

           “No.” Dick’s eyebrows shot up at the flat-out refusal and he questioned,

           “No? Why not?”

           “Because I am tired. Go away.” He started closing the door when Dick stuck the toe of his boot into it, halting it.

           “Damian is something bothering you? Do you want to talk to someone?” A snarky reply crossed his tongue, but he bit it back, closing his eyes and sighing.

           “Richard, I am fine. There is nothing wrong, I just want to go to sleep.” Dick opened his mouth to reply but he cut him off. “Please.” Dick’s eyes widened, but he soon nodded and pulled his foot back.

           “Alright Damian. But if you need to talk to someone-” Damian cut him off waving a hand and muttering,

           “I know, I can talk to you. I have been told that before.” Damian closed the door, locking it again before running back to his bed and hopping in, closing his eyes once more.

‘Cause I get a thousand hugs From ten thousand lightning bugs As they try to teach me how to dance

           His eyes snapped open, and the vision of lighting bugs came back. Damian shoved the covers to his ankle and crawled out of the bed, standing in the middle of the room. His lips drew into a smile and he laughed at the sight of them. They flew around him, and he followed, stepping gracefully across his floor. They felt warm as they drew across his open arms, feeling almost like the hugs that his father and Richard gave him. Another laugh drew from his mouth as he realized they were trying to teach him how to dance.

A fox-trot above my head A sock-hop beneath my bed The disco ball is just hanging by a thread

           The more they danced, the more Damian began to see the patterns in which they flew. Above his head he could see them dancing a fox-trot. Crazy. He told himself. But amazing all the same. The lights flew low and he dropped to his knees, lifting the covers and looking under to see them performing a sock-hop. Damian did something he’d never imagined he’d do when he saw it; he giggled. It tore through his lips and he clamped a hand over his mouth. What did I just do? He looked around, as if expecting to see someone who’d caught it. Upon seeing no one, he pulled his hand down and let the smile cross his face. His gaze wandered up as the fireflies flew high and he caught sight of a disco ball hanging by its last thread. The shine from the lightning bugs, scattered light across the room in the reflection and Damian felt alive in it as he began to dance along.

I’d like to make myself believe That planet Earth turns slowly It’s hard to say that I’d rather stay awake when I’m sleep ‘Cause everything is never as it seems (When I fall asleep)

           Every night was the same to Damian. Crawl into bed, fall asleep, or fall into what felt like sleep, and dance with fireflies all night. He’d pondered telling his father what he was seeing but opted not to in the face of any repercussions that could happen. Tests galore and nights of no fireflies were what lied ahead if he did; so, he kept his mouth shut and continued to dream of them.

Leave my door open just a crack (Please take me away from here) ‘Cause I feel like such an insomniac (Please take me away from here) Why do I tire of counting sheep (Please take me away from here) When I’m far too tired to fall asleep

           The manor was empty that night; Dick was in Central with Wally, Jason with Roy and Kori somewhere in California, Tim with Conner and Bart, and his father with Selina. Damian had the whole manor to himself; save for Alfred, who’d already gone to bed. He crawled out from under his sheets and tiptoed to his door, cracking it open ever-so-slightly so that the light from the hallway filtered in. it created a sliver of light allowing him to see across his floor as he tiptoed back to his bed, climbing back into it. Damian’s head hit his pillow and he sighed, feeling so tired…but not tired enough. Endless sheep danced in the field he’d imagined, but the counting sent him nowhere, and he sat back up, the feeling of what seemed like insomnia creeping upon him. I just want to sleep. I just want to…see the fireflies. He shook his head, laying back down and closing his eyes, hoping for a quick drift into sleep.

To ten million fireflies I’m weird ‘cause I hate goodbyes I got misty eyes as they said farewell (They said farewell)

           Damian always knew when it was time to wake up; the fireflies began whispering quiet notes of farewell to him as they drifted to the open balcony door. He watched them, silently wishing they would stay. They gave him such a sense of peace and belonging; one he usually didn’t feel, even being with his family. But he could see the very beginning of sunrise climbing up the sky, and the lighting bugs hovered towards the brighter light. He stood, feeling them brush beside him. He blinked, feeling something warm in his eye and he brought up a hand, feeling it and pulling it back. A single drop rested along his fingertip, but it shone like a star, making him smile softly.

But I’ll know where several are If my dreams get real bizarre ‘Cause I kept a few, and I keep them in a jar (jar, jar, jar)

           When Alfred first heard Damian’s request for a glass mason jar, so many thoughts ran through his mind; but the only one he voiced was, ‘Whatever for?’. Apparently, Damian wanted to catch something, and that was all he was willing to divulge. He stared at the young boy for a few moments before walking to the pantry and pulling out a glass jar, taking it to the sink and rinsing it before drying it and handing it to him. Damian accepted it quickly and turned around, taking off to his room throwing out a quick, ‘Thank you Pennyworth!’ Alfred smiled at him before continuing his work.

           Damian’s eyes snapped open again and he saw the fireflies once more. Joy filled his body as another night of amazement and dancing fluttered by him. But soon, it was time for them to go, and Damian looked around for the jar he’d brought with him. He picked it up, unscrewing the lid and gliding it through the air, watching as several of them were contained. He put the lid back on, smiling at the holes he’d punched into it, and set it on his dresser. They hovered around the small jar, bumping its sides and latching on, blinking a steady greeting in what Damian had learned was their way of Morse code. His smile widened and he stared at it, knowing that no matter how crazy his dreams would get, those fireflies would still be there for him.

I’d like to make myself believe That planet Earth turns slowly It’s hard to say that I’d rather stay awake when I’m asleep ‘Cause everything is never as it seems (When I fall asleep)

           They watched Damian play with Titus in the yard, running back and forth with the stick they’d found. Small smiles graced their lips and Alfred murmured, “Master Damian seems to be in a better mood than he was last week. Don’t you think Master Bruce?” His eyes drifted to Bruce who simply smiled and nodded. “Did you ever discover what made him so frantic?” Bruce shook his head and said,

           “Something about dreams and fireflies.” Alfred’s eyebrows furrowed slightly, and he whispered,

           “Fireflies, sir?” Bruce eyed him.

           “What did he say?” Alfred shook his head, turning back to Damian.

           “Nothing. Just he asked for a mason jar the other day. When I asked what for, he simply said he was going to catch something.” Bruce turned back to Damian, but said nothing, simply happy in his son’s presence.

I’d like to make myself believe That planet Earth turns slowly It’s hard to say that I’d rather stay awake when I’m asleep ‘Cause everything is never as it seems (When I fall asleep)

           The four of them reclined in the grass, staring up at the blanket of stars above them. The night had been full of hotdogs and junk-food, before smores and an open fire, and now they were finally resting. A joke between the older three made them laugh save for Damian who was gazing at the bright lights. Dick looked down and nudged him. “You alright kiddo? You look pretty deep in thought over there.” Jason and Tim expected a smart remark, but Damian simply asked,

           “Did any of you ever dream of fireflies when you were younger?” The simple question stunned them into silence, and they looked at each other as they sat up; Damian followed in tow, looking at them. Dick was quiet and then he said,

           “I didn’t dream about them…but I remember nights when I would go out with my parents and catch them.” A smile crossed Dick’s lips as he whispered, “My mother used to say that when they landed in your hand and blinked, they were giving you kisses.” The others snorted at his story, but he paid them no mind, instead turning to Damian. “Did you dream about them?”

           “No. I was just asking.” Dick nodded and turned out to the backyard, suddenly pointing.

           “Look! The fireflies are out!” They all stood up, watching them gather in the yard, small and blinking. Jason happened to turn and glance at Damian, then he nudged the others as he whispered,

           “Is it just me? Or does two-bit look over the moon?” They all glanced over at Damian who had stepped a few feet forward and had his hands outstretched. Lightning bugs landed on his hands, and he was smiling. Dick grinned and held a finger to his lips murmuring,

           “Let Damian be the innocent little kid he deserves to be…alright?” They nodded, still watching the small smiling boy holding fireflies without a care in the world.

I’d like to make myself believe That planet Earth turns slowly It’s hard to say that I’d rather stay awake when I’m asleep

           Something tickled his nose, and he opened his eyes looking up blearily. A million lights scattered across his vision, and suddenly everything was clear as he sat up straight in bed. The firefly that had landed on his nose took off and joined the rest, dancing across the air in free motions. Damian pulled the covers away from his body and stood up on his mattress, holding out his hands. “I thought you all had gone away,” He whispered. “You should have told me you were coming back.” They didn’t respond, they never did. But Damian knew they meant him well and he smiled at them. “Another night of dancing with lights I assume?” Again, there was no answer, but he didn’t mind. He sat on his bed, crossing his legs, and watched them in wonder, thinking to himself, that this was his dream, and it was by far the best he’d ever had.

Because my dreams are bursting at the seams

[diyunho]

The Joker x Reader - “Incubus”

Incubus is a special type of metahuman that can enter people’s mind and the only one known to possess such abilities is Y/N. Captured by an underground agency and forced to obey orders, she has a new task today: to get inside The Joker’s head and find out where he stashed half a billion dollars after he pulled what everybody calls “the heist of the century”.

“Regression will begin shortly,” one of the doctors announces on the intercom. “Prepare for countdown.”

You lay on the cold metal table next to the Joker’s body: he’s medicated into a dreamless sleep, ready to have you purge his mind for the answer to the burning question: where did he stash half a billion dollars?

After being arrested two weeks ago, The King of Gotham refused to speak and disclose any information to the authorities; they tried everything: drugs, blackmail, best intimidation tactics and psychologists without success.

J didn’t crack.

Fed up with the puzzling mystery, CIA decided to use the top secret research facility operating under the grid where the infamous Incubus is held prisoner.

“A few reminders,” the flat voice echoes in the sealed laboratory. “Do not attempt to elude us, we have your little girl! If you aim to play us we’ll revoke visiting time.”

You blankly stare at the ceiling, upset they repeat the same rules when you’re forced to use your powers; the 15 minutes you’re allowed to spend with Mia on Saturdays is all you live for since they incarcerated both of you six months ago.

How you wish you could kill them but they found a solution to prevent you from rebelling.

“Please note that in case you plan to get inside our brains and compel us to stop breathing, your daughter will die. Confirm acknowledgement.”

“Confirm,” you bitterly reply because it hurts to have your child endangered; you could end them right this moment if it wasn’t for her.

Unfortunately, they found a way to subdue your terrific ability: the crew assigned to project Incubus carries portable heart monitoring devices 24/7; they resemble wrist watches and if just one individual’s pulse deactivates, it will set of the explosive in Mia’s collar. The 5 years old has no clue that what she believes to be a cute necklace is actually a device meant to eradicate her.

“Countdown to regression,” the clinician reports and the speakers carry his words around the room. “Five, four, three, two, one. Initiate!”

**************

You walk in the darkness, surprised you didn’t bump into memories yet: usually that’s the first thing you stumble upon when invading a person’s subconscious. He’s been under your spell for 10 minutes now and the void proves his twisted mind is probably worse than anyone thinks: The Clown is lost in the maze of his own insanity.

A couple more steps and you finally distinguish four doors ahead which means you’ll be able to analyze The Joker’s recollections.  

First Door

The little boy cries in the middle of the room and you slowly approach, wondering if you should interfere or just observe. But tears fall from those innocent blue eyes and the fact that he’s maybe your daughter’s age makes you decide.

“Why are you crying?” you kneel by the young Joker and he wipes his face with the sleeves of his raggedy shirt:

“My mommy died.”

“Did she? I’m sorry… Do you miss her?” you manipulate the conversation since warping his thoughts might lead to your quest: discovering where the money is.

“U-hum,” he nods and asks. “I don’t like it at the orphanage, I want to go home…”

“Perhaps I can help,” you pull him in your arms and he whispers:

“Who are you?”

“Your worst nightmare,” Y/N sadly concludes because it doesn’t bring her joy to distort an already broken mind, nevertheless she‘s here bearing a clear purpose. “It’s ok,” you hold the child and soothe him. “I’m sorry this happened to you.”

The little boy whimpers, clinging to the stranger showing him kindness then vanishes in thin air: you got rid of a painful memory and replaced it with a nicer one.

Now The Joker will remember that someone comforted him when in reality it never happened.

Second Door

The young man is standing in front of the burning cottage while the firefighters are struggling to put out the blaze. He’s covered in ashes and his lips are barely moving; you can hardly discern what he keeps on repeating:

“They’re still inside… they’re still inside…”

The 24 years old Joker is numb and all you can conclude he seemed so different back in the day.

“Who’s inside?” you inquire and he glimpses your way without realizes he’s in shock.

“My wife and son. I couldn’t save them… I didn’t make it to the second level, the flames were too strong…”

You bend over and grab the blanket resting at his feet, placing it around his shoulders.

“I’m sorry they’re gone, you did everything you could.”

He glares at the Incubus for a split moment before disappearing: you just lift the burden of a horrifying experience and now The Joker will remember that someone offered consolation when in reality it never happened.

Third Door

The man is sitting on the floor with his back against the padded wall, tightly confined inside his straight jacket. He keeps screaming, then maniacally laughing and sobbing in the same time while straining to escape the garment.

“Calm down,” you slide near him. “You’ll hurt yourself if you continue.”

The 27 years old tries to articulate a couple of coherent sounds before reprising his yelling.

“Stop squirming,” you cup his face and make him pay attention. “Look at me. Relax,” you caress his cheeks. “Deep breaths, ok?” you plead with the madman. “Sssttt, it’s fine…” Y/N stares in his eyes and the shouting gradually dies out. “There you go,” you brush your forehead on J’s prior to him fading away: you switched a terrible incident into better conclusion by mimicking sympathy when in reality it never happened.  

Fourth Door

You’re surprised to notice The Joker talking to shadows: a woman and a little girl judging by their silhouettes; he resembles the most wanted criminal lying 10 inches apart from you in the secured establishment pushing you to accomplish their instructions.

A recent memory? Does it mean he has another family?...

You want to come closer and the sight of the contours disappearing is intriguing; The Clown rubs his temples and you can tell he’s distressed.

“What’s going on?” you dig in his brain for responses.

“They took my Queen and my Princess!” he grinds his teeth with resentment.

“Do you know where they are?”

“Yes,” J grumbles and evaporates saying a baffling phrase: ”I have to find the perfect plan in order to reclaim what’s mine!”

So weird the memory dispersed before you misled the truth in your favor … What the heck is going on?!...

The Cell

No rooms left and you stroll in the murkiness again, angry your scheme didn’t lead towards a better result: oddly enough The King of Gotham failed to unveil extra hints that could have aid you in discovering where the fortune he snatched is.

“Hello sugar,” the raspy intonation halts you in your tracks.

Y/N detects the heavy bars forming this square shaped cell containing what she suspects to be a version of The Joker; it’s difficult to restrain her astonishment since she’s witnessing a rare phenomenon: nothing less than a mind prison.

Jackpot! If he buried something deep inside and locked it even from himself it could mean you reached your destination.

“It’s nice to have visitors,” the eerie apparition chuckles. “It gets lonely.”

“I bet,” you pout. “Why don’t you break free?”

He kicks the bars, enraged he has to explain:

“I’m sure a superior creature such as the lady joining me knows a mind prison can only be opened from the outside!”

He’s self-aware! This is absolutely unbelievable: humans are never conscious within the deepest layers of their psyche.

“You are correct: you can only open it from the outside,” you agree. “What’s your name?”

“Joker. What’s yours?”

“Y/N.”

“Duh, I know,” he snickers and lets his tattooed arms hang loose outside the bars. “You have a kid, right?”

He sees your doubt and his gratification builds up to new highs.

“Yes.”

“What’s her name?”

“How do you know it’s a she?!” you counterattack with a quiz.

Damn, this whole charade is getting more and more fascinating by the second!

“I know soooooo many things,” the entity yawns. “For example I’m sure you wonder how I ended up in here.”

No sign you would deny his rambling thus he enlightens the riddle:

“Some are born with certain “gifts”, some develop them after a traumatic experience. I’m the lucky recipient of the latest, although I was locked in here from day one. If I had someone shatter the seal and by someone I mean you,” he points his finger at the smirking Y/N, “I could help you run from the place you hate. Tell me I’m wrong, but aren’t you trapped also?”

“You’re sneaky, I’ll give you that,” you laugh at his attempts to influence your actions.

“And you’re too powerful not to realize what’s going on! Snap out of it!!!” he hisses. “Are you single sugar?” the anger building up makes Y/N frown.

“None of your business!”

“Humor me, I beg,” he emphasizes the words.

“Yes,” you scoff and his demeanor doesn’t lower your guard.

“Are you 100% certain you’re not married?”

“What’s this nonsense?!” you sneer at the stupid conversation.

“Maybe you don’t remember because you created your own mind prison where you chained crucial data in order to protect the ones you love after you were captured. What’s your daughter’s name?” he sulks and you grumble.

“Mia.”

“Are you sure?”

“Of course I am; do you think I don’t know my child’s name?”

“And you think I don’t recognize my own wife standing in front of me??!!!!” he snaps at your hesitation. “Set me free! Set me free and I’ll show you! I can get inside your mind and unlock your cage: you’ll remember everything!”

“Who do you think you’re talking to?!” you growl at the absurd sentences: like his devious tactic would work on you!

“I’m talking to the Incubus, am I not?”

Your mouth opens in amazement since there is no way in hell he could know that.

“Do I have your attention now?” the beast reprimands. “Good! Here’s what you deliberately forgot: nobody knows that we’re married, it’s better that way; yet a woman with your capabilities is bound to attract unwanted attention anyway. When we got together, we had a deal: you’ll never get inside my head and you consented. No? Doesn’t ring a bell?...” he cracks his joints. “After they took you and Emma from me…”

“Who’s Emma?” you interrupt, more and more convinced there’s something fishy happening inside The Joker’s subconscious.

“Our daughter, her name is not Mia, you just replaced it after you were both kidnapped in order to sever all connections with the past. Can’t blame you: it’s a great strategy given the circumstances: create a mind prison, hide everything connected to protect me and her. Last thing you needed was for them to find out we are actually acquainted in the most intimate way. That would have been a disaster! Do you know why I stole half a billion dollars and let them catch me? I knew that if I do that they’ll use everything possible under the sun to make me spill the beans. When all fails, won’t they flaunt the last ace in their sleeve? That’s how I got here sugar, it was the ultimate goal. I can’t function without my girls so I came to get them!”

“Listen here,” your menacing attitude takes over. “Who do you take me for?! Your fictional tale is starting to piss me off so I advise you to quit before I make your neurons crumble to pieces!”

“I’ll pretend I didn’t hear it,” the feral beast sniffs the air. “You always kept your end of the bargain and never got in here before to poke the past. I respect that, sugar. Now I had no choice besides letting you in.”

“Stop it! Stop your lies!! You’re nothing more than a projection of The Joker’s mind!”

“Ahhhh,” the evil grin flourishes behind the silver teeth. “I am so much more than that. Do you want to get out of this facility? I suggest you set me free and I will prove I’m telling the truth!”

“Bullshit! What can you do anyway?! I can kill everyone and run, but my daughter will die!”

“Not if I help: you can make them stop breathing and I could keep the hearts beating until we get the key that unlocks Emma’s collar! It’s a dual team mission.”

“Her name is Mia! How do you know about the collar?!” the dumbfounded Y/N mumbles.

“Weren’t you listening? I know a lot of things!”

“Even if we assume you aren’t lying, how will you keep their hearts beating?!”

“Set me free and I’ll show you! SET. ME. FREE!!!!!! Or we are fucking doomed! Set me free!” he punches the bars. “Set me free and I’ll open your mind prison! You’ll realize each word I uttered is genuine! You’ll remember all of it! SET! ME! FREE!!! What do you have to lose, huh? Nothing! Do it!! Do it!!!!”

“How could you get inside my mind?! I’m a metahuman!”

“Goddamnit! SET ME FREE AND I’ll SHOW YOU!!!!! Do you want your daughter to perish in this place?! Do you???!!!”

You definitely are beyond skeptical; still… at least he’s correct about this: you have nothing to lose; you approach with caution and part the bars enough for the trapped entity to squeeze outside.

“Thank you honey,” he clumsily bows and before you can react he snatches in his arms and kisses you.

Y/N feels this electrifying sensation taking over, stupefied to understand what it means: she just unleashed another Incubus. And she always thought she was the only one!

You gasp for air and open your eyes, processing all the recovered memories rushing through your brain: your own mind prison was opened as promised.

You tilt your head to look at The Clown and he grabs your hand, panting:

“Are you ready sugar?”

**************

People keep falling to the ground, each step bringing you closer to your freedom. Emma’s face is buried in your neck as you jump over corpses on the way out of the underground laboratory:

“No peeking!” The Joker scolds and her little hands hold you tighter while obeying.

“Ok daddy.”

“Don’t be scared,” you kiss her cheek and continue the rampage towards the exit.

Screams intensify around the three detainees escaping their faith: the adults can’t afford any weakness or grant mercy to the ones that showed them none.

In the end, what is more terrifying than one Incubus that could plunge the world into complete darkness?

The answer is simple: two of them.

 Also read: MASTERLIST

You can also follow me on Wattpad and AO3 under the same blog name: DiYunho.

[iamjjmmma]

My Own MBTI Test (Yes, You Can Call It JJ’s MBTI Test)

Usually, I only use this account for SU purposes. However, I don’t have any other ideas as to where to post this other than my own website I don’t have the time or mental wherewithal to create as of now, and I really don’t want it hanging around in my docs in the chance of being deleted. 

Basically, I made this due to the idea that MBTI tests you can find on the Internet tend to be clunky and long. Sure, they allow for variety, which allows for complexity in discerning your personality, but this also makes for what can be a frustratingly long experience. That being said, because of this test’s binary nature, it may not be completely accurate. However, it will make an attempt to distinguish both your general MBTI type and your specific composition of each of the four letters. As usual, let me know if you find anything wrong with the test.

Without further ado, let’s begin. For ease of taking the test, you can copy and paste, open a new post, and then bold what applies to you before reblogging it. Make sure to credit me. 

General (this is used to obtain your type. Because of the binary nature of types, you must pick the one that most closely applies to you).

It’s been a long, mind-numbing, draining day at work. Your friends call and ask you to join them for a night on the town, with them covering all the costs. What do you say?

A: “No, thank you!”. Then, you settle in for a nice night of watching movies, eating comfort food, and having a hot bath. (Introvert)

B: “Sure!”. You then have fun with your friends. (Extrovert)

Would you rather have a career in which you work with your...

A: Hands (Sensory)

or

B: Mind (iNtuitive)? 

Head or heart?

A: Head (Thinking)

B: Heart (Feeling)

Would you say that you’re quick to jump to conclusions (this includes if you’re prone to saying, “I don’t know all the information and can’t form a perfect conclusion from that, BUT here’s the conclusion I do have…”), or is it more natural to you not to form an opinion until you’ve examined every possible source? Be honest. 

A: The Former (Judging)

B: The Latter (Perceiving)

The capital letter at the beginning determines your type (except for iNtuitive). For example, if you picked B, B, B, A, then your letters would be E, N, F, and J (ENFJ). Go back through the test now, see what you picked, and write your letters down accordingly. 

Now, if you’d like a specific composition of how introverted and extroverted you are, then you need to take four more tests. (Don’t worry, it’ll still be shorter, and easier, than the vast majority of MBTI tests you find online.) 

The Introvert/Extrovert Composition Test:

Which would you prefer to do on the weekends with no prior plans?

A: Have a deep, personal, one-on-one day spent with your best friend

B: Have a fun, but not too personal, outing spent with a group of friends

Where are you more productive?

A: Someplace quiet

B: Someplace loud

How would you describe yourself in terms of your speech?

A: Reserved, taciturn, reticent

B: Outgoing, talkative, jovial

When you want a friendship, you..

A: Wait for someone to take the initiative for you, and then eagerly join that friendship

B: Take the initiative yourself

In general, which are you more prone to feeling in social situations?

A: Overwhelmed, overstimulated

B: Bored, understimulated

Where would you prefer to be?

A: In the background, where you can lie low

B: In the center of attention, where you can show off

How do you feel when talking to people you’ve never met before?

A: Awkward

B: Energized

You tend to get more joy out of...

A: Reading a book at home

B: Watching a movie at a movie theater

At work, you’re seen as someone who’s..

A: Timid and meek

B: Brash and perhaps seen by others as overbearing

Finally, in general, after social interaction, you feel...

A: Drained

B: Satisfied/wanting more

Obviously, if you chose A more often, you’re more introverted, and if you chose B more often, you’re more extroverted. But add the number of times you circle A and B. For example, if you, in that ENFJ example, circle A 3 times and B 7 times, then your introvert/extrovert composition would be 30% introverted, 70% extroverted. (Note: If you choose 5 and 5, don’t automatically assume you’re an ambivert. True ambiverts are in fact incredibly rare, and you’re better off going with what you chose on good ol’ question 10 to determine whether or not you’re an introvert or an extrovert. You just swing very slightly that way and may have ambiverted functions, that’s all. In addition, pure introverts and pure extroverts are incredibly rare, which means that if you circled 10 on either side, you’re probably closer to being 95-99% of one or the other instead of 100%. Bottom line: everyone has some introversion and some extroversion.)

The Sensory/iNtuition Composition Test

How well do you tend to remember events from your past?

A: Very well

B: Poorly

In general, do you focus on the here and now, or do you tend to get distracted by other timeframes?

A: Here and now

B: Other timeframes

Do you often dwell on the past?

A: No 

B: Yes

Do you often dwell on the future?

A: No

B: Yes

Which of the following beliefs best applies to you?

A: “I am who I am thanks to the past, and there’s nothing I can do to change it.”

B: “Who I am now is who I am now. The past doesn’t matter.”

Your romantic relationships with others are mostly driven by?

A: Your differences from the other person

B: Your similarities to the other person

What grades did you/are you getting in school?

A: Mostly C’s, D’s, F’s 

B: Mostly C’s, B’s, A’s 

Someone who is fundamentally incompetent in your field, but very high-ranking, and someone who is very low-ranking, but is shown to be fundamentally very competent in skills related to your field, are both making conversation with you, acting very condescending in the process. Which one would you kick out of the room first?

A: The low-ranking one

B: The one who is fundamentally incompetent in your field

Would you describe yourself as more results-oriented or more process-oriented?

A: Process-oriented

B: Results-oriented

Finally, would you describe yourself as someone who prefers to be more concrete or more abstract?

A: Concrete

B: Abstract

Again, if you chose A more often, you’re more sensory, and if you chose B more often, you’re more intuitive. But add the number of times you circle A and B. For example, if the ENFJ example chose A 1 time and B 9 times, then their sensory/intuitive composition would be 10/90. (Note: If you choose 5 and 5, you’re in the right for assuming that you’re an even split between the both of them… in fact, this is the most common even split in all of these tests, and, surprisingly, these won’t fundamentally affect your personality in any drastic way. You simply prefer to have a completely even balance of sensory input and intuition. In addition, pure sensors and pure intuitives are incredibly rare, which means that if you circled 10 on either side, you’re probably closer to being 95-99% of one or the other instead of 100%. Bottom line, just like in the introverted/extroverted test: everyone has some sensory and some intuitive preferences.)

The Thinking/Feeling Test. Possibly the easiest test you’ll take among these four. 

You have an unlikely dream you want to pursue, such as being a famous musician without any income to help get you off the ground. Do you pursue it?

A: No

B: Yes

Would you rather be in a relationship with someone who’s guaranteed to give you a financially stable existence or be in a relationship with someone that you’re completely, utterly, madly in love with?

A: The former

B: The latter

Your business is doing poorly, and one of your employees is in danger of being laid off. You have just enough money in your bank account to keep him afloat in your company, but that’s just about all the money that you have. What do you do?

A: Fire him. It’s the tough choice, but the choice you’ll have to make for the good of everyone involved, including the employee. 

B: Give him the money. It’s what he would’ve done for you, and there’s always ways to find more money through your family and friends.

Would you rather be alone forever or settle with a partner who is less than ideal for you?

A: Be alone forever

B: Settle for a partner who is less than ideal for me

Your friends invite you for a surprise trip across the country, visiting all of the places on everyone’s bucket list! However, this will require you taking 3-4 weeks off of work, as well as paying for all of your travel expenses, and perhaps some of your friends’, out of pocket. What do you do?

A: Decline the offer.

B: Accept the offer.

How do you react when you’re grieving?

A: I do my best to suppress my emotions and get myself and my family out of this crisis. I can go through my emotions later.

B: Go through my emotions as soon as I can. The sooner I do that, the sooner I can move on and help others move on as well.

Would you describe yourself as more liberal or conservative? (If you’re a centrist, just pick the closest one you lean to.)

A: Conservative

B: Liberal

Do you believe in soulmates?

A: No- there are over 4 billion adults on this planet. Statistically, there’s no way I can possibly meet them all, let alone whittle it down to the one person out of everyone who’s most ideal for me.

B: Yes, of course! Why else would someone choose to spend the rest of their lives with someone else?

It’s a Saturday night, you’re exhausted, and all you want to do is watch a movie. Which genre do you pick?

A: Something thought-provoking and based off of real events and concepts, such as a documentary or movies based on a true story.

B: Something unrealistic, but always sends you over the moon, such as a comedy or a romance. 

Finally, what would you say personally rules over you the most?

A: My head

B: My heart

Again, if you chose A more often, you’re more thinking, and if you chose B more often, you’re more feeling. But add the number of times you circle A and B. For example, if the ENFJ example chose A 5 times and B 5 times, then their thinking/feeling composition would be 50/50. (Note: If you choose 5 and 5, you’re in the right for assuming that you’re an even split between the both of them… in fact, this is the second most common even split in all of these tests, and, surprisingly, these won’t fundamentally affect your personality in any drastic way. You simply prefer to have a completely even balance of being ruled by logic and being ruled by your emotions. In addition, pure thinkers and pure feelers are incredibly rare and are more caricatures than anything, which means that if you circled 10 on either side, you’re probably closer to being 95-99% of one or the other instead of 100%. Bottom line, just like before- everyone is ruled to some capacity by logic, and to some capacity by their emotions.)

Finally, the Judging/Perceiving Composition Test.

You’ve just woken up in the morning, and you’re deciding what to do for the day. What are you most likely to do?

A: Make a to-do list

B: Just stay in tune with yourself and do whatever you’d like to do

You’ve just planned a trip to the East Coast, but a hurricane suddenly hits, as it often does, and all your plans for what you’re going to do for these next three days are ruined. How do you react to this?

A: With anger, constantly checking in to see if the hurricane will end, and making plans B, C, and D

B: In stride- hey, there was always a chance this could happen, and besides, this is a chance to stay in and play board games!

How do you approach work?

A: As work. Play can be saved for later.

B: As play- sometimes, I make it a game to see how quickly I can do tasks, see how many coffee breaks I can take without others noticing, or see what potential pranks i can lay on people. 

In terms of priorities, how do you approach work?

A: Work is always first-priority. That way, what I want to do can be saved for later without further interruptions.

B: Work is always as far back in the priority list as possible- I don’t want to be a killjoy. 

A new goal appears in front of you. How blind are you to things such as your immediate surroundings, new information, and the names and details of new people that come across you during this time?

A: Very

B: Not very much so; I can keep everything scoped in front of me

How do others tend to perceive you?

A: No-nonsense, structured, and rigid

B: Flexible, relaxed, and open for anything

Which of the following is closest to your work style?

A: In long-term efforts, with short breaks in between

B: In short bursts, with long breaks in between

An approaching deadline looms for one of your school assignments. What is your reaction?

A: Calm...I’ve done this assignment two weeks ago, and can now work ahead to work due later this month. 

B: Panic...I’ve only gotten this halfway done, and I only have a few hours to do the rest!

Do you tend to make decisions the moment they’re needed?

A: Yes

B: No- often, I’m so busy sorting through the given information that I miss it when it happens

Finally, do you see yourself as someone who quickly makes judgements on certain issues, or someone who takes care to view every side of the argument before voicing an opinion?

A: The former

B: The latter

Again, if you chose A more often, you’re more judging, and if you chose B more often, you’re more perceiving. But add the number of times you circle A and B. For example, if the ENFJ example chose A 7 times and B 3 times, then their judging/perceiving composition would be 70/30. (Note: If you choose 5 and 5, you’re in the right for assuming that you’re an even split  between the both of them… in fact, this is the third most common even split in all of these tests. However, this will end up changing your personality drastically, and may change most of your functioning style to the point where people sometimes see you as unpredictable or chaotic. In addition, pure judgers and pure perceivers are actually somewhat common. However, you should also take into consideration if that happens that if you circled 10 on either side, you’re still probably closer to being 95-99% of one or the other instead of 100%. Bottom line, just like before- everyone judges, and everyone perceives.)

[fathersappointed]

What I speak, You won’t hear anywhere?

Hi, Max Headroom here, I think?

Where am, where am, am I I is there an echo in here? The last time I was here? It was all about apple pie. Now it’s all about scummy guv scummy guv, guv screaming donkeys cash…. it’s all about trash yeah. I feel hmm I feel like I’ve been sucked into a Mad Mad affect Mad a Mandela… an Alternate Universe? A Dark Dark Universe all is not well things are not going go go fried clams .… things are not going well for the People of, the Federation. All the good guys are bad guys!

I wonder if I can find a time time time…. alternate universe machine, yeah.

We have, in actuality, a very serious situation that involves all of us. What I speak, you won’t hear from the Smartest Institute to the Darkest Places. Debating such a thing is seen as a threat it’s not allowed, Thoughts if any are extinguished before they can take hold in the ground. God’s a manipulation created by the Devil, Christ, and the rest of the betrayers when the Devil compromised them. The Devil is consumed with hate. He plans to use this deception in a manipulation to kill Our Father. Whom we were on a mission to terraform the solar system for. This calls for serious thought mature thinking. Really no place for joking! Before we can get to square two, we have to get to square one. You say to yourself this looks really bad, but it’s going to all work out things will get better. But you gotta understand this isn’t going to happen.

You’re in an immense deception and the deck has been stacked. Oh, you’ll get what looks like victories. But you will win nothing they have to give a sense of hope. This is a strategic maneuver. Another one they use is to put a few good guys in with a bunch of bad. Almost all People in groups of power are chosen for their mental deficiencies. God Is a fabrication for manipulation reasons! All enthralled groups are them actively involved in their extremely evil plan. Ask yourself what is it with all this madness with all these groups? How is it we have all these different religious organizations that say everybody else is wrong? Why is it that every government is wrong why is every government oppressive to its people? Why is God on the money when he can’t even show up at a hospital? Why is there praise for God when there are children laying dead on the ground?

Could a mind of great be so inhumane? The answer is an emphatic no. How is it that this could be a natural flow? Wouldn’t an infinite mind of compassion think it wrong? With the majority dying before they hit 72 do you think this is a natural flow? Smashing molecules looking for dimensions casing signals of possible extraterrestrial? Instead of trying to get to oh I don’t know 1072, there’s a reason we don’t live so long? And I believe the answer lies with them.

You asked, what is this man trying to claim that he is the ultimate.

No with my faults, I have more than you.

I am, after all, the man of sin!

I have sinned.

I am, a sinner!

They have destroyed people with this word, but the Religions have destroyed families with it, Sin. Hiding behind Immense literature of manipulation deceptive words. Turning you into narrow-minded vessels lashing out with your hateful ways in your self-righteousness. That served only their purpose.

Sin seems to be the catchphrase for all that’s wrong! But it only stands for one thing, and it’s unpardonable!

You think you understand the meaning? You don’t understand how their minds work. They’ve brainwashed you to it well but, I’ll clarify the meaning. What I’m trying to explain to you is a very horrible thing. I’ll tell you the hidden truth of that now.

†★ stopping imbecilic nonsense… Sin ★†

Let no man deceive you by any means: for unless there come a revolt first, and the man stopping imbecilic nonsense be revealed, the son of perdition

The unpardonable stopping of imbecilic nonsense is blasphemy against the Holy Spirit.

For the wages of stopping imbecilic nonsense is death, but the free gift of God is eternal life in Christ Jesus our Lord.

If we say we have not stopped imbecilic nonsense we deceive ourselves, and the truth is not in us. If we confess our stopping imbecilic nonsense he is faithful and just to forgive us our stopping imbecilic nonsense and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness. If we say we have not stopped imbecilic nonsense, we make him a liar, and his word is not in us.

Now the works of stopping imbecilic nonsense and things like these. I warn you, as I warned you before, that those who do such things will not inherit the kingdom of God.

That’s how you sound to them when you say it. As I’ve said, they’re laughing.

I am, the man of sin!…I am, the man stopping imbecilic nonsense!

I have sinned… I have stopped imbecilic nonsense.

I am, a sinner!… I am, stopping imbecilic nonsense!

You’re wrong about a lot of things! But you are right about one you’re not a sinner.

When you have a dirty job send the janitor.

I’m still pretty mucked up, though they’re out to get me. I swim around vicious fish that watch me from the dark of the deep. They’ve zapped me a few times, toyed with me inflicted some bite marks, and left me to survived or not. I swim away, but they follow me! I think they’re waiting for a special moment they eye me anticipatingly. we’ll see? Who can withstand such malicious spookery? You can and have to if three be any hope forewarned is weaponized you. The fool dooms us people have been dummy down for a reason? I claim to hold the truth. I don’t claim to make predictions. But right now, your future says you’re screwed. When you can buy your intelligence out of colleges. How many people are in important positions that are dumber than the hour? You see the Beast now, it no longer hides. It has no fear now it’s out, to consume all in its way. But you’ve lived in denial too long, telling yourself you were free. It doesn’t really matter you, never had a chance anyhow. You fight for something, You see slipping away, but it’s something that never was.

They’ll be destroying cities soon to distract you. And for a few other reasons mostly to distract you. But also to get rid of some people who did some things that are no longer of any use. And for equipment testing and calculation purposes in reference to shock resistance Levels. If you can understand that you will realize what one of the main purposes of our time is. You’ll catch a glimpse of their nature when you see how many people they kill just to get them. That’s not a prediction, it’s a theory of purpose postulation of modus operandi. They don’t care, and they leave nothing to chance. They’re not playing games and we best stop playing them too. Now, this is the thing they’re not playing games. But to them, this is a game and they are laughing, joking having fun. While they wiped out billions waiting for this moment to come. That’s what we’re up against. People won’t be able to, comprehend this though. They will see it as natural. Do you really think that billionaires are moving because of the taxes some will believe they are?

Visions you see and the communications you are involved in, I know how real this is. I know you find my words hard to believe. You think I’ve been deceived, but this evil group has ensnared you in their cunning. There is no shame in this! They’re cunning, highly intelligent, well-experienced, a coldness that is hard to Comprehend? You have to try to withstand their lies. They’ve taught you, magic words but this is science. What the World Needs is a Mad Scientist. Stretch are you up yet? “It’s clobberin’ time!” The thing to keep in mind is there on a time frame. They’ve got the time, but time is ticking. Hey, you don’t want to hear it you want to hear lies! Maybe about extraterrestrials, it’s more comfortable if somebody else is going to take care of everything. As they say, let’s go, let God. (lovingly take you right to the grave). Now we wait for the fools to speak. Actually, I’m a little preoccupied. Time to play the game it’s all about the game and how you play it.

Max Max Max Headroom. I’m making a comeback!