#sorry for not being here the past few months have been uhh

[yellowjacketsource]

dont worry gang i have secured my preorder of the ben funko

[whorelaud]

OFF LIMITS – rafe cameron ¡ (02)

social media & irl AU !

pairing brother's best friend!rafe cameron x brat!reader summary you slide into a random boy's dms on instagram, anything but expecting him to end up being your brother's best friend, let alone the person you'll be spending your summer vacation with. while resisting Rafe and his lingering gazes was an option, you found yourself in the constant loop of crossing the line; said line being your brother. ch content sexual jokes, rafe being a tease !

NAVIGATION. series masterlist | 01 ¡ 02 ¡ 03

yourusername

liked by sarahcameron, rafecameron and 1,129 others yourusername me and gf on a mermaids date  🧜‍♀️ 

view all comments

sarahcameron GF 🙈🙈🙈 most beautiful girl ive ever seen ↳ yourusername BABYYY ily

sarahcameron do you want to be my wife ↳ johnroutledge Uhm ↳ yourusername leave little boy she doesnt want you 🧏‍♀️

sarahcameron cant believe we met its been SO long ↳ yourusername still in shock could you kiss me to make sure this is real?  ↳ sarahcameron come to mama 💋 

ryanontop God your ugly ↳ yourusername you’re*… spell right you illiterate fuck ↳ ryanontop Fuck off it was a typo ↳ yourusername you know damn well!!!!

cleoanderson WAIT WHAT

kiecarrera ??? HUH

kiecarrera IM SO CONFUSED ↳ cleoanderson ME TOO ☹️ ↳ sarahcameron hey 👋  ↳ cleoanderson girl you both got some explaining to do ↳ yourusername trust me i was as shocked as you are 😓

popeheyward Insane ↳ yourusername PIPE down fella (get it ahahaha) ↳ popeheyward That wasn't funny ↳ cleoanderson be nice to my girl >:( ↳ popeheyward Baby you're supposed to defend me ↳ yourusername YEAHHH CLOCK THAT HO

jjmaybanks whats for supper  ↳ yourusername saltwater

user1 PRETTY!!!! 

user2 so lovely 🥹

user3 DRESS ATE DOWN ↳ yourusername YEAHH tryna impress the hoes ↳ ryanontop Crickets ↳ sarahcameron not cool Ryan. ↳ ryanontop Sorry Sarah Cameron.

rafecameron Hey 👋🏼👋🏼👋🏼 ↳ yourusername uhhh uhmm  ↳ rafecameron ??? What ↳ sarahcameron what are you doing here ↳ yourusername yeah get out of my comment section ↳ rafecameron I’m not even doing anything 

rafecameron Sarah looks like a duck  ↳ yourusername shes my little duckling 🐥  ↳ rafecameron Oh I didn't mean that in a cute way ↳ sarahcameron hey >:( ↳ yourusername insult my gf one more time and ill fuck you UP ↳ rafecameron Oh?  ↳ ryanontop Uhh  ↳ rafecameron Yo wsg baby ↳ yourusername flirt somewhere else please dont start sexting in my comment section ↳ rafecameron Awe man :( but it's way more fun in public ↳ yourusername pardon me! there's children in my comments, please refrain from having sex here ↳ rafecameron You're the one talking about sexting, not me...

Involving yourself with Rafe Cameron, whom you later found out was good friends with your brother, was definitely not a part of your plan. 

Spending the next two months with him meant coming to terms with your actions, perhaps take responsibility for the mess you created out of this situation. Had you further dug into his information, paid attention to the last name splattered across your screen, you would not have ended up in the bathroom, contemplating whether going downstairs was a good idea. 

Avoiding him could be an option right now, but you knew you'd have to face him one day, whether it was today, or another. And while he stayed oblivious to the incident, you couldn’t help the embarrassment that flushed your face everytime his eyes would lock with yours.

You somehow spent the afternoon together, his lingering gazes leaving you a nervous mess every time his eyes fell on you. He’d stare at you for a few seconds, letting tension heave through the air, almost as if it was the most casual thing ever, as if he’s not your brother’s best friend, someone so off limits, forbidden to the touch. 

Besides that, it was nice, you got to spend more time with Sarah, catch up with the girl and everything you missed out on in the past few hours she was gone. It distracted you from your embarrassment, eternally grateful, because you don’t think you’ll be capable of spending another minute within Rafe’s presence without exploding.��

Taking a deep breath, you mustered up the courage to head downstairs, taking each step with haste. Sarah perked up when the hardwood creaked underneath you, causing you to come to a halt. Sarah called out your name, addressing you with the hand she waved in your direction, her excitement instantly replacing the frown spread across your face with a smile. 

“What took you so long?” Her lips jut into a pout, tucking her hair behind her ear. She welcomed you with open arms, chuckling when you accepted the embrace with a content hum “You know, I missed you.” 

“You were jus’ talking to me.” You muffled out, relaxing as the blonde rocked your bodies back and forth. 

“It’s not the same!” She exclaimed, pulling away for a moment. “It’s not everyday I get to see you in real life.” 

Ryan cleared his throat, in an attempt to earn yours and Sarah’s attention. To his satisfaction, he did, causing your gaze to shift back to the latter, instantly detecting the disgusted expression he had splattered across his face. 

“Can you save this for later, and please help me out?” Ryan questioned, making you roll your eyes. “You think I called you down so you could be all over each other?” 

“Shut up.” Sarah stuck out her tongue, teasing the latter from where she stood. 

You scrunched your nose, tensing when you sensed Rafe’s burning glare from the corner of your eyes. The boy’s glances were intense, almost as if he was staring at you for the purpose of undressing you with his gaze, and that, yeah, it never failed to knock a breath out of your chest, creating a flustered mess out of you. 

Sarah returned to her old position, standing behind the counter with you following in her steps, striving to see what they were up to. Your lips formed into an ‘o’ shape, peaking with interest when you noticed the deviled eggs Ryan was plating.

“That looks good,” you hummed, turning in Ryan’s direction, who conceitedly nodded, proud of the dish they had displayed on the counter. “Don’t people usually make these for thanksgiving, though?”

“That’s what I said!” Sarah agreed, giggling when Ryan grumbled, disapproving of your statement. 

“You’re acting like you’re not gonna eat them!” He elbowed your side, acknowledging you with his chin when you hissed, faking a pained expression. “Stop complaining and grab more plates, we need them for the mash potatoes.” 

“The only thing missing is the turkey, at this point.” You scoffed, mumbling to yourself, though Ryan could still hear you. “Where’s the plates?” 

“Uhh,” Sarah started, observing the cabinets behind you. She pointed to one of them with her finger, your eyes instantly following where her digit landed. “You can find some in there.”

With a nod, you shuffled to approach the stacked cabinets, aiming for the one Sarah was referring to. A groan instantly escaped your throat, gaze trailing up to the plates positioned on the top shelf. 

“Why on earth are these cabinets so high?” You whined, standing on your tippy toes to grab the dishes, merely to end up with nothing in your grasp. “And why are you putting plates on the top shelf?! None of you could reach them!” 

You extended your arm once again, stretching out your body in an attempt to seize the plates, losing your balance when you maintained the same position for a little too long, eventually failing to achieve what you were aiming for. 

Ryan mumbled a few words of complaints, rushing you to grab the plates faster, though he noticed that you were struggling, not offering to step in and help you. You paused for a second, calculating how you were going to capture the plates without asking for help, as that was a no in your watch. 

Right, you could use a chair, and although that was quite the embarrassment, it was the only option you had, even if it meant making a fool out of yourself. 

“Here, lemme try.” 

You tensed where you stood, breath hitching when Rafe shuffled behind you, his broad chest colliding against your back. Your vision blurred as you inhaled his scent, his musky cologne intoxicating your senses. 

Your gaze trailed up his arm, where it hovered over your shoulder, the brief contact sending goosebumps down your spine. And if you weren’t aware before, you definitely are now, enjoying the sight of him towering over you a little too much for your liking. 

The latter grunted as he reached for the plates, capturing them with a little difficulty. The sound instantly echoed through your ears, blinding you whole, that you had no right being this into it. Your mind wandered with thoughts you shouldn’t even ponder about, not as the boy was innocently stepping in to help, when your own brother couldn’t. 

“There you go.” Rafe muttered, voice barely above a whisper. He placed the plates on the counter in front of you, moving to catch sight of your reaction, chuckling when he noticed how flustered you were, mouth slightly parting with an exhale. “Did I startle you? Sorry, I was jus’ tryin’ to help.” 

“Right,” you said through a breath, blinking far too many times for your liking. “Thank you, I– that was really nice.” 

“Mhm.” He leaned his arm over the counter, admiring you with a knowing smile tugging at his lips. He stood still for a moment, almost as if he was seeking something out of you, perchance a reply, if that was even appropriate in this situation.

“What?” You asked, cluelessly staring back at him, fingers clutching the plates you had in hand. 

“Could you hurry up!” Ryan interrupted, causing you to jolt from where you stood, leaving Rafe hanging as you headed in your brother’s direction. “The food’s about to run cold.”

“You could’ve helped me grab them, dickhead.” You scoffed, failing to keep your eyes to yourself as you stole a glance in Rafe’s direction, breath catching in your throat when you spotted him yet staring at you, with the same mischievous smile he had from earlier. 

He’s only helping, you’re acting like this because it caught you off guard, right? Fuck, you were totally screwed, how were you supposed to act normal when Rafe was behaving like a gentleman, doing everything in his power to make you comfortable, whether it’s him helping you grab the plates, or him offering you a drink with the scorching hot sun. 

Either way, this was bad, for your mental being, and the boundaries you created for yourself. It’s only been a day, what will happen in the next few weeks you’re spending with him? You don’t know, but what you do know is that they’ll be hell, tortuous, even.

Sarah passed you the pot of mash, politely asking you to plate it, making it hard for you to refuse the request. You did as told, doing it as neatly as physically possible, with Ryan nagging over your head, telling you to be more cautious in the process. 

You managed to get what you were asked for done, with the boy pestering you nonstop throughout it, creating a frustrated mess out of you. Rafe offered a helping hand, arranging the plates on the table, for each person they were serving. 

The elders came through the front door, having been gone for most of the time they’ve been here, excusing themselves for what you assumed was a business meeting. You embraced your mom in a hug, presenting the food to her with your free arm, snickering when she squealed, taken aback by all the food displayed on the table. 

Dinner was chaotic, filled with chatter and giggles as everyone bonded over the food, getting to catch up with each other. Ward was quite the man, and while you did dislike him, witnessing all the times he was harsh to Sarah, you couldn’t dodge his curious questions, not when everyone surrounding you thought of you as angel who wouldn’t hurt a fly. 

You kept to yourself for most of the time, amused by Sarah and Ryan arguing over who cooked each dish, fighting to claim their credit. And as for Rafe, well, he was there, sitting besides Ryan, who was across from you.

“You’re oddly quiet, Bug.” Sarah suddenly started, talking over the elders, who were chatting about business. “Is everything okay?”

“Huh, yeah!” You nodded, flashing her an endearing smile, one Sarah contently returned. 

“It’s only ‘cause there’s people around,” Ryan clicked his teeth, having heard the conversation. “Trust, she’s such a brat, don’t encourage her to keep talking, otherwise, she’ll never shut up.” 

“Can you not?” You muffled through gritted teeth, kicking his foot from underneath the table. “Could you also move? You’re all up in my space.” 

“That’s uh,” Rafe choked out, taking a sip off of the glass of water splattered across his side of the table. “That’s my leg.” 

You froze your spot, eyes widening with shock when you peaked under the table, discerning that it was Rafe’s leg you were kicking, Ryan’s far back positioned inches away from his chair. Sarah mimicked your action, chuckling when she caught sight of the ridiculous sight, entertained by the situation. 

“Oh my god, I’m so sorry.” You apologized, eyebrows furrowing with concern. “I thought you were Ryan.”

“It’s okay.” He dismisses, flashing you a gentle smile. “Sorry for ruining your uh– plans.” 

“Why are you apologizing?” Ryan jutted his lips into a pout, turning to glimpse at Rafe, whose face filled with concern. “You’re supposed to defend me. Why are you taking her side?” 

“Mhm,” Rafe hummed, going along with the bit. His fingers found the curve of Ryan’s jaw, cupping his face in a teasing manner. “Did I hurt your feelings? I’m sorry, I’ll be more cautious next time. Do you want a kiss, sweetheart?” 

Ryan nodded, nuzzling into the latter’s hand, letting his eyes fall shut when Rafe leaned forward, placing a chaste kiss to his forehead. The mere sight made you sick to your stomach, with Sarah just as cringed out as you were, grumbling with detest.

Looks like you had some competition. 

“Can you not?” Sarah huffed, “We’re eating.” 

“She doesn’t get it.” Ryan shook his head with disappointment, withdrawing from the touch. Rafe agreed by nodding, patting Ryan’s shoulder before he got back to eating, acting as if that was the normalest thing they’ve done over dinner. 

Fancy plating was all fun and games until you had to do the dishes, and with the little work you did tonight, it did not look good on your watch. Ryan excused himself out of the list, with Sarah following behind, informing you that they made dinner, meaning it was your turn to do the dishes. 

Which, truth be told was fair, you totally understood where they were coming from, because if that was you, you would’ve done the same thing. 

“I’ll help out.” Rafe joined in, the suggestion creating a nervous mess out of you. 

That’s how you ended up in front of the sink, watching as plates piled up with every dish Rafe brought, instantly joining your side after he tidied up the table, wiping it clean to ensure a disinfected setting. 

Your contained giggles seeped through the silence, observing as Rafe clumsily scrubbed a plate, stumbling as it almost slipped from his hands. A sigh of relief escaped his parted lips, tightening his hold around it before it could further slither through his fingers. 

“You don’t need to do it.” You uttered, catching Rafe’s attention, who turned to face you with a smug grin spread across his lips, oblivious to the teasing smile you flashed him.

“Why?” He curled one of his eyebrows with confusion, scrubbing the plate with all his might, though it was past its limit. “Do you not want my help?”

“It’s not that,” you playfully rolled your eyes, rinsing off the excess soap. “It just looks like you’re struggling.” 

“‘That so?” He shot back, mimicking your action, copying your each move to make sure he’s doing it right. 

“Mhm.” You mused, letting silence linger through the air, atmosphere heaving with tension. 

“You know,” Rafe started, eyes glued to his gloved hands. “You’re different over text.” 

You almost drop the plate in your hand, caught off guard by the latter’s statement. Rafe maintained a blank expression, continuing what he was doing while you tensed in your spot, too dumbfounded to move, or respond. 

“I–” you stammered, abandoning the dishes piled in the sink, and focusing your whole attention on Rafe. “Why are you bringing that up?” 

“Should I not?” He questioned, stealing a swift glance in your direction as he cocked his head to the side, intrigued by how the conversation was flowing. “I mean, you did text me this morning, am I supposed to pretend it didn’t happen?”

“You said it yourself,” you started, suddenly feeling your throat go dry. “Ryan’s my brother, it would be best if we didn’t discuss this.” 

“Why not?” He muttered, voice barely above a whisper. “It’s not like we’re doin’ anythin’ weird, y’know? I mean, you did leave an impression on me.”

“impression?” You repeated, jeered by his words as your mouth moved faster than your brain. “Did you know we’d be meeting here?” 

“Well,” he replied, rinsing off the soapy dishes. “I can’t say I didn’t.”

“Why didn’t you say anything, then?” You whispered, afraid others would overhear your conversation. “Had you told me, I wouldn’t have continued speaking to you. Do you know how awkward things are now that you’re here?” 

“Why?” Rafe hushed out, pausing for a second, before he turned to face you, now leveling his face with your own. “Am I making you nervous?” 

Your throat ran dry, taken aback by the question. Was he flirting with you? And if not, why did it have such a big effect on you? Tolling you with temptation in ways you knew were impossible, out of reach, even. 

“What?��� You uttered through a breath, face flushing with heat. “No– no it’s just–”

“I’m just messing.” He snickered, amused by how flustered you grew, stuttering to mutter a coherent statement out. 

“That wasn’t funny.” You grumbled out, fluttering your eyes at the latter, visibly embarrassed by the reaction the boy received from you. 

“Right.” He chuckled, not sounding convinced at all. 

The next few minutes filled with tension, as you both fell quiet, letting silence heave the air. Rafe didn’t seem as affected as you were, maintaining a blank expression the whole time you were a mess, too embarrassed to be in the boy’s presence, who seemed oblivious to the uncomfortable atmosphere he had created. 

You instantly excused yourself to your room afterwards, telling the boy you were sleepy, though it was too early for bed. You needed a moment to yourself, even if it meant lying through your teeth.

Besides, you weren’t the only one who was gone, as Sarah was nowhere in sight, disappearing once you were done. She was probably talking to her boyfriend, hence you know how clingy they were with each other. 

You took a quick shower, freshening up before bed, immediately followed with your skin care routine, playing soft music in the background while you did so. You dressed yourself in comfortable pajamas, instantly slipping under your covers, letting the warmness engulf your body whole. 

Your eyes droswed with sleep, after a few hours of scrolling through your phone, not noticing the time, only acknowledging how late it was when you received a notification that earned your attention. Your breath almost hitched as you opened the DM, caught off guard by who it was from. 

It was Rafe.

a/n THANK YOU FOR ALL THE SUPPORT ON THIS WTH!! i wasnt expectingt it ily mwahh!! & just a little fyi this story will have more irl parts, it wont be solely sm based as i alr have stated in the beginning! it will definitely have social media, but im not abandoning the irl part of it yk 😣 that being said, feel free to lmk if you want to be removed/added to the taglist :) (in order to stay on it, you need to interact with the posts)

TAGLIST @greyswaren @slut-4-gojo @depthsofdespairr @littlelamy @lilithblackkk @cnnamongrl @mattyskies @percysley @jaklvbub @inlovewithdob @ilovefiction4lmen @theeternaloptimistt @maybejj @icaqttt @idgasb @purplerose291 @shincidios @laniirackssss @malibuhearts @adulterated-cocaine @bugg06 @murdockcastleslut @drwstarkeys @pretymads @klmaaaoooo @wearemadeofstardust0 @urbrunettebombshell @stylestarkey @riverxsq @louxmcl @totalswag @cl4uus @simpforboys @tearsfromasliverwolf-blog @bilssturns @fandomhopped @strsdoulikedem @congratsloserr @dr3wstarkey @xoxo-ada @stvrligghtt @rafeswhoooreee @kythefangirl25 @chaneydoll @blushmimi @akobx @empath-bunny @flirtism @stopnala @rafecameronswifeyy

[sm-baby]

OFF-LIMITS

freakshow AU by @hootbon

Context || The Chosen one (Part 1(??))

PRETEND MARRIAGE FIC LETS GO!! Off-limits is a non-canon sort of continuation for The Chosen One!! Also Just putting it here: Showtime is not canon in freakshow AU!! I'm just.. being indulgent-👉👈

Word count: 7750

The pacing is a little off but I'll let you be the judge...OK ENJOY BYE HUGS AND KISSES!! NO BETA WE DIE LIKE MEN!! also if Hoot's reading this I'm so sorry.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

There were many benefits to being the ringleader's favourite.

One of them is being proposed to, apparently.

She didn't think her body still had the capability to choke, but apparently it was all too possible. She gagged, punching her fist to her chest on the flavourly assault on her throat, hacking wheezing as the grip on the tea table tightened. 

Pomni winced, eyes twitching and swallowing before sitting back down with a not-so-casual tone in her voice. She faked a laugh “Haha… what-”

“ I'm marrying you."

The man sat on the opposite side of the tea table, classy, with full manners. the way his hands were politely on the table, proper yet focused… Caine so specifically wanted the meeting in Pomni’s room... She was perfect for the setting. A doll playing tea party. Classic. Simple. 

“ A-And what does-”

“ It means my brother can no longer claim ownership over you." 

Pomni inhaled and stirred the tea in her hands. She fawned a fake sympathy towards his perspective humming along as if she understood his reasonings…but she choked, this time mentally. 

Were they seriously still on that dumb brother’s quarrel? Ownership? She didn't think Able would want to do anything with her after their last meeting but it seems the tension she's been feeling between the both of them has been growing… Caine’s brother has been nicer to her lately, she assumes, still in the effort for him to be in her good graces… but she didn't think it would really lead to anything, nor would she let it. 

“... Ha." Was all that left her. Pomni doesn't often know what to say in tense situations. She lost herself in her thoughts, cupping her tea in both hands, nervous and tense. Of course, she definitely doesn't want to do this. She was more so thinking about a way to decline him rather than a yes or a no.

Uhh… hmm..

“ You would still be performing, but this also means you get to sleep in the old manor. Or so I think that's what husbands do… unless my sources are wrong which—“

Pomni could spit out her entire drink! That changes everything! “ YES-" she slammed her hands on the table.

Caine wasn't startled, but rather, just looked at her, raising a brow at the rude interruption. he'd look down, seeing that pomni just spilled tea over herself and the table… what manners. 

“ Uhh-... Yes- that- that is what husbands do, yes… “ she sat back down, her voice awkwardly lowering to a timid whimper. 

The gentleman barely looked at her, rather levitated a napkin to wipe the table. It was a cruel silence, almost like he dared her to explain such rude behavior. 

Pomni cleared her throat “ sorry, I-I would uh… love to be married- to-- You… ?” Is that how one says yes to a proposal? 

“ Ha. It humours me how you think you have a choice in the matter. “ Caine snapped his fingers, and the napkin disappeared. If he were to be perfectly honest, he saw no qualms in letting Pomni live in the manor. He would relish in the thought of her walking past his brother knowing she was officially unattainable. A sort of trophy of sorts. A taunt mayhaps. A jest. A silly funny mockery.

Meanwhile Pomni’s brain was completely somewhere else… 

To have access to the circus on the regular while having more time in the manor… no more stupid games necessary, no more-- having to kiss up and hold the balance towards both brothers! This was a win! Of course this isn't a ticket out of the circus, but she's going somewhere, and it's refreshing compared to the circles she's been running for the past few months. 

Pomni looked up to see Caine, sitting across her, this time with a hand extended to shake. 

As soon as she shook his hand, a ring formed around her finger, from thin air, seemingly out of nowhere.

“To show that you're reserved." 

Pomni looked at her finger, and-- honestly the way he said that made her skin crawl. Caine always saw Pomni and the others as lesser than him. And the way he proposed was no different from a person booking a seat at a restaurant. 

The deal was struck and Caine wasted no time to get up and leave the room. A small good bye greeting, closing the door behind him, but otherwise his business there was done.

Pomni was still sitting on the tea table, thinking to herself, staring at the ring on her finger. It was like it was part of her body. She would try to pull it off but to no avail, no budging or anything. 

She grit her teeth… great.

The two went their own separate ways thinking nothing and everything about the transaction… though it must have been quite the sight to see Caine leave the room, and have Pomni follow a few moments later, now with a ring on her finger.

“ No f@#$ing way.” Jax thought, seeing the sight.

She didn't know what she was expecting, but it was certainly a Caine wedding.

The ceremony itself? she could barely remember any of it. Rather, small clouds of memories that were important.

The way she walked down the aisle so stiffly, like a gun was pointed at her head. The way Caine placed a ring on her finger, Kaufmo’s death gurgles as he officiated their wedding…

There were small comforts. She didn't actually think of it as anything special— more just a necessity rather than an actual wedding, but some of her friends tried to make it special for her. Ragatha was sitting front row in support not for the union but for Pomni herself– Kinger hallucinating, holding her hand in a father daughter dance. And Gangle making the the effort of getting her a wedding gift– or what she could give anyway…which was a drawing of her in her wedding dress.

Caine wasn't even present in the after party. He just placed the setting and left the guests to their own devices. That was honestly a relief for Pomni for a short while, to be able to hang out with the closest things she had to “friends”. She had the lone memory of Ragatha and Kinger giving her a drink, and asking her how she was doing.

They've both been well aware of her motives by now. Exit, exit, exit. At this point they were convinced that was her form of insanity. But they supposed that little bit of hope was keeping her going.

Kinger turned Ragatha then back to Pomni. “ We hope you know what you're doing.”

“ I never said I did…” the bride said, her pitch getting timidly higher. “ But– it's a direction! I don't have a lot of expectations either, but…hey, I think I'd regret it if I didn't take the chance. ” She looked back up at them, embarrassed at her short rambling. “ Oh! I hope– you two are holding up relatively okay tonight?”

Ragatha chortled.

Kinger answered “ We haven't been okay for years, Pomni.”

“ Y-Yeah…I… I should have seen that coming, yeah…”

Suddenly, a slow song came on the reception. 

Most of them weren't fond at the idea of a slow dance at first, but a tap from Ragatha to a ribbony friend (and a sister begging the other) later, people were on the dancefloor.

Ragatha danced with Gangle, then exchanging partners from her to Kinger. The Gangle AI found it funny to force Kaufmo and his rabbit friend in a dance. The night was going off with a hitch.

Ragatha swayed back to exchange partners from Kinger to Gangle, and the magician was off on his lonesome again. He took no offence to this, but standing in the middle of the dancefloor on his own, to a song that used to be considered romantic, he couldn't help but freeze.

He stared at one of the guests in the distance, the one who decided to sit out the activity. The one in the dark staring daggers at him as they dawned the very torso that used to bring him warmth.

Maybe…

… If she was still in there…

He could ask if—

Before Kinger could take one step further, a hand took his own, the hand of a very worried bride clearing her throat and walking him back into the dancefloor. “ Kinger, this sounds like a good song!” Pomni laughed nervously, heels clacking as she pulled him gently but insistently.

Kinger blinked, and turned to her. “...Oh! Yeah! It is!” And just like that, the old man was brought back to the dance floor.

It was almost like the poor were invited to their first celebration. Some were laughing, and there were definitely moments of teasing and natural play, but at the end of the day they knew they would be hungry again. It was an inevitability. Some chose to spend it to the fullest, some chose to wallow, some chose to make the best out of it.

Pomni struggled to keep up with the magician’s stature, but they figured it out after their earlier father daughter dance. She would be pleased to see that He was almost experienced with the way he moved.

Her dance partner wasn't all that mentally present, but she could see that he was calm. The way he listened to the music and closed his eyes was disassociated. But it was a look of contentment. 

His grip was so sure yet gentle around Pomni. Holding her like it was the last dance he would ever have with someone. 

She could only imagine what he was picturing in that brain of his. She dared not interrupt.

“ I've danced with someone before... I think.” 

Pomni looked up at him. “ What do you mean?”

“ I don't know who that person was, but I remember feeling very nice when I was with her.”

Pomni sucked air through her teeth. She's heard… read… stories from Ragatha. Although it wasn't the most in detail, she figured out the jist just from hush-hush language she used.

She had a feeling she knew exactly what was going on. But it wasn't her business to correct him.

“ She must have been a great person.” Pomni said.

For the first time Kinger didn't feel like wood. His eyes relaxed just from that simple validation, a moment of blissful unawareness of where he was or who he was. Love spread from his heart, to his chest, to his finger tips, to the… little…friend? Yes, friend… that he was dancing with.

Pomni was well aware that she wasn't the person he was seeing at that moment. He had no thoughts, but the feeling of a powerful comfort took over him, he didn't care to take back anything else. Not his memories, not his sanity, not his mind. Like holding the hand that he once kissed. Spinning her, laughing with her, holding her close when the clock struck a romantic midnight. 

He could feel a tear escape his eye.

“What about you, Pomni?” Kinger opened his eyes and suddenly realised that his hands were holding at nothing. Not a person, not anything. Kinger blinked and looked around, that blissful feeling suddenly becoming fleeting. 

He was by himself on the dancefloor again

“... Pomni?”

Pomni would catch herself tripping forward. What was once the tiles that was the dance floor was now wooden, and unfamiliar. “Wh- wha- where…?” 

In the blink of an eye Pomni was somewhere else. For a moment she was confused before turning around and seeing her new found husband, back turned to her, sitting, looking down from the balcony they were at.

“ Awfully rude of you to dance with someone more than your own husband.” He didn't even bother to turn to her. He was still looking down, hands on his would-be chin, sitting on a long chair made of cushion and fine wood.

“ I-I was just dancing with—”

Pomni was cut off by Caine slowly patting a space on the seat beside him. The cushion, comfortable, yet sturdy. Pomni gulped before approaching.

When she joined him she could see the view from above…it was an indoor balcony built for the rich to watch the poor. 

From up high, Pomni could see the other performers, and quickly she scanned the dance floor to see Kinger, shaken, looking around and interrupting Ragatha’s dance in worry for where she went.

Pomni bit her lip and sunk down. Guilt over took her. She stood on her tiptoes, hands on the wooden railing and waved to be seen, to let them know that at least she's safe, and praying that they understood that she didn't leave them but-

Caine’s hand grabbed her arm. “ No, no. Let them figure it out.”

She froze from his touch. Caine guided her hand to make her sit down and she sunk in the seat right beside him. She looked down to read the others distress and felt immense relief when she made brief eye contact with Ragatha which then the assistant turned back to kinger, calming him down without making it obvious she's seen them.

Pomni sighed.

On her way to lean back on the chair, she felt an arm wrap around her shoulder, then pulling her to her side.

She stared at it for a moment, the arm. her body stiffened at the all too familiar touch, before looking forward, sweating, in denial at the situation.

Caine crossed his legs, an ankle on the other knee, still looking on at the view in front of them. His posture was far from hers. Swaying his crossed legs, relaxed, and confident. for a moment he looked at her and back down at the party. 

Amazing reception as always, Caine. You've really outdone yourself with this one.

They stayed there in silence for a couple of moments. Caine was all too comfortable and Pomni had nothing to say to him. The groom would say that his bride looked beautiful that night, but in the most objectifying way possible. She was an accessory. She always was. Nothing different from a beautiful pearl necklace. 

Maybe it was the way he was gripping her, but Pomni couldn't breathe with all the tension in the air. She let out a shaky breath, a face comparable to a cat hypervigilant towards a cucumber. Sometimes she forgets how affectionate Caine can get with her physically, and every time she just accepts it. Not like she can do anything about it really.

“ Wine, boss!” A servant walked into the balcony area. A voice so signature, and unmistakable Pomni didn't need to turn around. Caine and his bubble were inseparable except for the moments when they weren't. If she hadn't known any better she—

Pomni came back to reality.

…Wine?

“ Thank you, Bubble.”

Pop!

Caine didn't even have to lift a finger, the wine bottle was already levitating towards him as well as a wine glass, ready to pour.

“ Wine???” Pomni flinched, turning her whole body towards the bottle.

Caine blinked. “ Oh! How could I forget, you've never had this…” He thought to himself. 

He would never let the circus members have wine for multiple reasons. The poor PG rating would go down if their mouths were without filter. And also he didn't need to have a bunch of wild animals run a muc and destroy the circus tent. But right then, he duplicated the wine glasses into two, pouring one for himself and for his bride. 

“ Consider it a reward for being so attentive today.” 

Pomni got her glass, and held it in both hands. God damn. She hasn't had alcohol in so long.

It was as plastic as expected but wine wasn't there for the texture. She was just about ready to drink the night away. Pomni tried to play it with manners but admittedly took longer sips than what she could usually handle.

They both continued the night in silence

and Pomni waited…

And waited…

And waited…

And… 

Motherfucker, this isn't doing anything to her!

The visible frustration was clear and Caine couldn't help but let out quiet snickering.

“ Huh—!?”

Caine snickered again, barely audible, but less is more. Pomni couldn't help but feel embarrassed. There he is again! Playing with her like always! “ You didn't actually think I would let it affect you, did you?”

“ No—! I… I didn't even think that you could--! I..!” The woman gripped the wine glass. “ ugh! ”Had it been for the fact that she had to watch herself around Caine, it would have been in pieces by now!

Caine would continue to laugh, not seeing any of the woman’s frustration as a threat. It would take a great deal to scare Caine. One could take a knife to his throat and he wouldn't take it seriously. Pomni wasn't even sure if fear was programmed in his AI.

But Pomni stared at the floor, eyes scribbled, forcing herself into disassociation to stop herself from doing something she’ll regret, and suppressing any more anger.

She hated him. She hated where she was. She hated so much of this. She had a long fucking day and she really didn't need this. She couldn't cry, she couldn't scream. She felt the strongest urge to have a tantrum in her room but that wasn't possible! She just can't win in this shit hole!

Ugh! God DAMN IT!

So much screaming went through her head, but it was nothing but silence on the outside. She was just about ready to be completely immobile for the night. Mentally skip pass the rest of the day, she could just explode and she would be okay with it.

Caine rolled his eyes and took a sip from his glass, but Pomni’s overall energy was too loud to ignore. He sighed. 

The groom lifted her head up by poking a finger on her forehead, and forcing her to look up at him. “ As much as how beautiful you are pouting, it's really ruining my night.”

Silence.

“ Pomni, do you want to be intoxicated?”

Silence again.

…Caine patted her face.

“ Huh? What? Where am I?”

“ I'm noticing your desire to be intoxicated. Do you want to be drunk?”

Pomni squinted her eyes and furrowed her brows, looking at him in question. Suspicious. “ What's in it for—”

“ I will give you the ability to be intoxicated if you stop seething. I will not have this attitude on my wedding night.” Caine said, grumbling, taking another sip at his glass. “ So I ask you one last time, would you like to be-”

“ YES!” pomni cried!

Caine squinted his eyes at that reply, once again unamused by Pomni’s rude interruption. But this time she wasn't apologetic at all, rather grabbing at his collar desperately.

she continued. “ God, yes, please—” 

Oh he really shouldn't be rewarding this behaviour. 

And just like that, Pomni's glass was filled once again. It didn't take her long to start sipping but their mini deal came with boundaries:

(1)She is to take her time and behave while drinking.

(2)Caine has the ability to make her sober again at the snap of a finger.

(3) She may only have one glass of wine.

That was it. Truth be told, I didn't care for anything else. If she gets aggressive he could easily subdue her. If she hurt herself, as long as her dress wasn't ruined he was fine.

At first it felt like nothing. Pomni was just calm, her speech becoming slightly slurred, but otherwise it was just Pomni. She looked light weight and she was light weight. 

Ah, that's more like it. Quiet. 

He wrapped his arm around her again, and this time Pomni just accepted her fate. She leaned into his touch, thinking of him as nowhere different from a pillow.

Pomni’s vision could go blurry with how little attention she was paying at that moment. But she couldn't help but wonder. The blinding lights, the food, nice decor… and asked: “ Why all the effort?”

“ I don't say no to a celebration to my name! and yours I guess.” Caine mumbled that last part in the middle of a sip.  “… and if my brother asks one of you, you have the right to say that our wedding was official.”

“ God, you two are such brothers….” Pomni muttered under her breath.

“ Only by code.”

The bride put a palm on her face, muffling her words. “ No… the fighting. The quaralling, the one upping…  you act like little boys.”

“ …Excuse me?”

“ I didn't even think marriage can be official in the digital realm… you make the rules. Might as well make wedding certificates and it would be just as official.” Pomni chuckled. “ But you married me cuz you wanted to make your brother jealous.”

… He didn't have the energy to reply to such an immature, untrue, false, made up, retort. He just rolled his eyes. He had too much self respect to entertain such false assumptions. “ Ugh…” his face grew in disgust. Pomni without filter is worse that he thought. At this point he'd prefer if she got aggressive instead.

Time passed. Pomni wasn't very pretty when she was drunk. She'd have the ugliest laugh, and the crudest things to giggle at, though, the last one was a little amusing. But Caine was just waiting for til the moment the glass was empty so he could— pop! Snap her back to soberity. 

But something intrigued him.

She started talking about his brother.

Her filter became less and less. And Caine perked up when she did. She talked badly about Able’s taste in music and art, how annoying it was whenever he visited the circus, how much she despised his very existence…

…Caine filled her glass again.

“ —a-and that nagging voice! ‘That sounds wonderful, sweetie!’ ‘ Oh, Pomni, you're so smart!’ God!”

Caine chuckled, and started leaning closer towards Pomni to hear her better.

Pomni continued,“ Oh he's so pretentious! And so-- so—”

“ Condescending?”

“ Yes! C-Condescending, patronizing, I— what am I? Nine??!”

Caine laughed! Oh hearing slander about his brother was music to his ears! And to hear it from someone to passionately-- he can't get enough! This was making his night!

“ S-say… was my glass always so full?” Pomni turned to her wine glass. She could have sworn she's been drinking for an hour at this point… she doesn't remember refilling it!

“ Hm? Oh, no no, digital hellucinations, my dear. Do carry on with what you were saying.” Caine pushed her wine glass closer to her chest, not bringing much attention to it.

“ Oh. Right. As I was saying…”

Oh Caine was having the time of his life. Smug chuckling left his teeth, absolutely enraptured by Pomni’s unfiltered bad mouthing. Shes been putting into words feelings he held for far too long. Ahh, he could stay there for hours.

“ I mean— at least you don't even-- try to hide that you don't like me. You don't act like friends with any of us.”

Caine could feel himself blush, playfully swiping his wrist at her. “ Oh you're too much.”  She was praising him now? Why, Christmas came early! How can he not enable this behaviour? “ Keep going.”

The trauma bonding would further on, but at some point Pomni tuckered herself out. The alcohol was getting her, she's been talking long enough, she's been full of hate enough today. Pomni leaned her head back on the chair to doze off, before Caine shook her awake. 

“ Hey!” He grabbed her face, mushing both her cheeks. “ Awaken! Tonight hasn't ended yet. We have yet to full-fill the husband/wife quota.”

“ Mmm…you're already my husband, remember? Kaufmo said so at the..the..” Pomni yawned. “Wedding.. ceremony…”

Caine groaned!

Snap!

“ Oh- damn it!”

And just like that all alcohol was erased from Pomni’s system. He also fully woke her up. Pomni can never truly escape that day. She groaned into her hands as she felt energy return to her body.

“ Come, come.” Caine got up and fixed his suit. “ Let's at least greet the guests off. Then you'll sleep at the manor.”

“ On my way…” 

Alcohol truly was a temporary darling. Just when she felt her sorrows were drowned away, she came back into reality— at an even worse state.

The two teleported back downstairs to end the party. Caine announced it's end and Pomni was saying goodbye to her friends. She greeted Kinger goodnight, waved Ragatha goodbye while she was busy with (one of) the twins. Jax’s goodbye was nothing but mockery, gesturing to her like she's some little princess in her wedding dress, which Pomni froze in embarrassment. Zooble wasn't even there when she came downstairs…for the better maybe. They always made her skin crawl.

The guests were away and the two were alone once again. At the snap of a finger, Caine fixed the entire reception. Any mess, streamers, decoration, gone, as if there never was a party to begin with.

Caine fixed his coat and arranged his gloves, dusting off all the mess that came with being in the vicinity of the others. Meanwhile, Pomni was thinking to herself— something she never thought to question…

“ Hey, Caine…” she looked up at him. “ When you said ‘sleep at the manor’, what —”

And swoop! Next think she knew he swept her off her feet in the traditional bridal style position, and before she could react—snap! They were teleported somewhere else! A bedroom that was nowhere like the others.

“UH—” Before she could say anything, Caine put his arms out straight and dumped her on to the bed. Man. What a romantic guy.

Oof Pomni frowned when she was dropped head-first, so carelessly and aggressively on the cushions… she groaned in misery— before remembering where she was.

She quickly got her head up and looked around! She was wrong! This place was familiar!

“ Huh!?”

“ My bedroom.” Caine said so passively. “ Well technically now it's yours as well, but. It's mine.” It looked like his mind was occupied with something else, he was staring forward but he was not at the present moment. She knew that look, he was searching something in his database.

“ When was this??” 

“ Since I told my brother you were moving in.”

“ Why??”

“ I'm ignoring you if you keep asking questions.’

Pomni looked around… this was like the guest room they made for the performers but grander. The bed was even a little higher— God forbid she falls off in her sleep. 

Caine fits right in the room’s aesthetic, Pomni was completely out of place. The room’s palette was red and black, with linings of gold here and there… Caine really hadn't bothered to make it accommodating for her. She just sat there in silence awkwardly like she was just invited to a friend’s house.

Man…can she even sleep in this? She looked down on the sheets: they were red, The pillows as well. the wood was furnished black and if she looked up, she'd see a chandelier at the ceiling. 

She shivered… Her old bedroom was weird, but she's spent just enough time in it to grow comfortable. at least she fit in its overall aesthetic. But she doesn't think she could say the same for this one. This whole room screamed Caine.

“ Ah. Here it is. ‘How newlyweds spend their wedding night’.” Caine said, and continued to look forward. 

“ What…N...No. Caine, don't read that.” Caine really…really…did n o t need to know about human customs. She's going to die from how awkward this was about to be..

The AI muttered what he was reading, “ ‘ Spend time together, Newlyweds often feel drained after a day of celebration …’ skip.”

“ Caine.” Pomni winced. “ Caine, did you not do research beforehand-”

“ ‘ When both couples lay in bed together it's important to have both parties feel safe in each other's presence—’ ickk.. skip. Are there any alternatives?”

“ Caine, I'm going to throw up.”

“ ‘According to a new survey with over 350 recently-married couples, nearly 40 percent of newlyweds had—’...” 

Caine squinted in disgust. 

“ I'm not reading that.”

Pomni at this point just gave up and put her head on the pillow.

“ Seeing as none of this is applicable to us, let's just skip this step of the consummation. As much as it pains me not to properly follow the process. I'll just leave you here and you can sit out the night. Good?”

“ I-”

“ Wonderful.” Caine snapped his fingers and the two were back in their usual outfits. He was back in his ringmaster clothes and Pomni was in her sleeping wear. And by sleeping wear, it means her usual tutu. Because she does not have sleeping wear.

Caine fixed himself up and pulled a blanket up on Pomni’s body. That's good enough. Husband's say goodnight to their wives if he was correct? 

Caine scanned his database again. 

Yeah, he was correct. 

“ Goodnight, dear.”

“ Ahh…” This was weird. “ G-Good.. Goodnight.”

And just like that, Pomni was off to sleep. Meanwhile, Caine teleported out of his room into another place at the Manor. He dusted his hands off and was already somewhere else mentally. he had other matters to attend to, another show to organize. He's spoiled himself enough with a night celebrating his name, now it was back to work. How Caine liked to work.

Morning followed and Pomni was snapped awake with a booming greeting “ Good morning, dear.”

Pomni screamed.

Her heart would beat out of her chest from the surprise-- forcing her up from her fight or flight

She flinched away at the sight of Caine's face inches away from hers. They sat there in silence for a moment… Pomni gulped, before looking pass him and seeing where she was then remembering the night before. 

“Wh…” the red bed, the chandelier… “Oh.” Pomni look at her hand, the left, and saw the ring that stubbornly stuck to her finger. but before she could say anything more, the blanket was thrown off of her, a snap, and the next thing she knew she was sat on the vanity table.

Oh god-- everything was going so fast… Caine snapped his fingers again and her grooming mannequins teleported in. “ I'll leave you here to get ready. I must awaken everyone else for role call. There should be a door to the circus down the hall! Be there.”

Pomni forced a smile and two thumbs ups, then, Caine was off.

She looked at herself in the mirror. She hadn't considered how little privacy she had now that her and Caine shared the same bedroom. Will he be doing this every morning? God, not only is it an incredibly inconvenient start of her day, it's also like having the world's most dangerous alarm clock.

Pomni put a hand through her face and grumbled, keeping herself awake— less so in the physical sense more in the emotional motivation sense. And before she knew it, the mannequins brushed her hair and did their work.

The next few days were something she had to get used to. Every morning Pomni would be greeted by a routine wake up, and every night she would be dumped back into bed, greeted goodnight, and Caine immediately leaving a second later. “Goodmorning, dear.”, “goodnight, dear.” again and again. Caine really was committed to the husband role-- though it wasn't far for AI to follow certain routines and patterns after acquiring a new set of data.

Oh how could she forget: 

Able spent more time in the Manor than Caine did. She would often see him around the house minding his own business, doing his own half of work. He never tried to make small talk anymore which was a stark contrast to his overly friendly persona towards her before she got married. The sounds of violins would go quiet when she walked in the room. It was as if he could just walk pass her with how invisible she was to him. He didn't have lips but she felt that if he did, it would turn into a scowl.

Once, she remembered walking pass him in the hallway, that time she tried to start conversation and—

“ Able?”

“ Don't talk to me.” With out even turning around, his heels were already clacking away, posture more spiteful than his usual.

It was odd but Pomni rolled her eyes.

Good riddance.

During her stay though she never stopped looking for an exit. Being in the brothers’ home was a system all in itself. Ever since she moved in, Caine apparently was there more often. This made it hard to navigate but memorizing both the brother’s schedules didn't take long. Being ai they were very systematic, consistent, as long as there were no human interruption nothing was stopping them from following the same routine.

To be in close vascity between Caine and Able meant no privacy. Pomni snuck around to investigate, less she’d be caught and teleported back. She's tried most of everything, but the brothers’ Manor was bigger and more…liminal, than she thought. 

For every one hallway it felt like there were 50 more. Door after door, an endless maze of nothing but unfinished projects and code. The Manor was a testing facility… a place where the brothers tested out code and concepts before applying them at the circus… there has to be something.

At some points she was so deep into it she didn't think either of the brother's could hear her. She didn't know if anyone could hear her. She could scream or laugh as much as her manic mind can get, and no one could. It was comforting in a way to finally be left alone, but dread came with it.

The dread or never making it back home. The dread of never leaving this torturous realm. 

Things started to get blurry.

The wallpaper was repeating. Doors, every single one looked the same. She didn't know if one door was the other. She turned back and— did the lay out change?? The wallpaper was all so fancy and clean but headachingly repetative. The world was spinning. Her head had a pulse. Her heart was wriggling in her chest. It felt like someone reached inside her back and pulled her spine out.

She opened a door, 

And another

And another

And another.

Random generations, code and miscalculations, projects abandoned and left to dust, circus acts left to die. To die. To die. To die. She envied it. She envied the ability to die.

She got so dizzy. So frustrated, but there was nothing to break, nothing to focus on. she was on autopilot. With how she's been opening doors for the past few hours, she didn't even care to find an exit anymore. Simply open doors. Wander around. If you find an exit on the way, congratulations. But otherwise, there was nothing anymore.

One hallway had a mirror and all she could do was stare with broken eyes. What she saw, she couldn't care less about anymore…who was that she was looking at? Where was she? Who was she? How did she get here? What was her name again?

She kept staring and her eyes wandered to her hands. Amongst all the dissociation was a pit of anger in her throat. She looked at her finger. The ring. And all she saw was the very thing keeping her trapped there. The cruelest person— the cruelest thing, in the world.

Pomni started to pull at the ring.

She hated him. She hated him so much. She hated how much he toyed with her. She didn't understand how such fucked up things could even happen to a block of code, she didn't know what peice of shit of a person would ever create him. If god can be proven then the devil can be too. And he was living proof of that. The entire circus was proof of that.

Pomni grunted a tearful cry, desperately aching for the ring to come off, but it wouldn't budge. If there was pain, she couldn't feel it. She would bleed if it meant having to take it off. Pain was the last thing on her mind at that moment, just the desperate need for something, anything to go her way. Out of anything in this god forsaken realm, she wanted freedom from something, living breathing proof that there was hope in leaving, that she had a semblance of control in this hell.

“ God DAMN IT!!” The pain on her fingers were apparent, yet she hasn't processed any bit of it. “ I hate you! ” She sucked air to her teeth as tears formed in her eyes. She saw no use in keeping anything in anymore. 

Tears streamed down her face with no means of stopping. Pomni, with bruises and scratches on her ring finger, collapsed with her knees on the floor, bent down, letting her tears be absorbed by the carpet. Her whimpering, cries, tears she hadn't let out in ages. She soon let her forehead touch the floor, complete and utter loss of hope and motivation. 

And for a few moments she just sat there… adjusting by sitting on the floor, leaning her back on the wall, tears streamed empty emotions. Crying didn't help. Running didn't help. Screaming didn't help. And so she sat there. Like a puppet left to sit until their next performance.

That's all she was. And that's all she'll ever be.

Was she any different in the real world? She didn't care anymore.

Pomni let out her last hiccups. The floor wasn't comfortable at all…The doll stood up, body heavy. Her steps towards any door were heavy and unmotivated. The only sound echoing through the halls were the sound of her muffle heels, clacking above the carpet.

She could use some sleep. 

After a long day of organising and work, Caine reached into his coat for his pocket watch. It was about time where the performers would be off to bed, and he didn't need to tell them that. This is one of the rare times of the day where he leaves them to their own. He, however, doesn't need sleep. Caine AI knows no tire. He turned his heel, ready to do more work before remembering— ah. His wife. That part of the daily routine. 

See, for the past few days he's been having the formula to wake Pomni up in the morning, and putting her to bed at night, leaving seconds after. Always with his “goodnight, dear” and “good morning, dear”s that one. That's right. He was officially given the trait husband, and-- he's heard that that's what husband's do. And so he Incorporated it in his system.

Of course, even after their wedding night he never put in the effort to even think about laying in the same bed with her. First of all, he has no use for sleep. Second of all, that would be a complete waste of time and resources—He can do work simply standing up and staring into oblivion, but there is only so much he can do. Third of all, it was terribly boring. Fourth of all, he can touch Pomni but laying in the same bed for a prolonged period of time-- no amount of snaps would rid him of all her filth. And fifth—

The list can go on and on, and yet… something ached him to his core. It's been bothering him since the wedding night actually. The very act of not spending the night with her as husband and wife, that skipped a step in the process. And that bothered him more than any boundary he has up. It was part of a system, and he didn't officialize it because he wasn't feeling it that day? Caine AI, were you coded in a barn? Frankly, he was disappointed in himself for letting his ego— perfectionism get the better of him. Was he even truly husband without that final step? He felt like a fraud.

That whole thought process took place in the matter of .0001 seconds. And he was off. 

He teleported to The Manor on his way to atleast clean up the bedroom first. But just when he made his way up the stairs, he turned, noticing the clearly dishevelled and previously distressed looking Pomni coming out of one of the hallways.

He squinted and scanned her. 

Dirty clothes, eye bags, wet and sore eyes, sniffling, head low… 

Oh. She had been crying. 

He rolled his eyes. As long as she wasn't doing it on stage he didn't care. And frankly he didn't want to deal with it.

He cleared his throat to let her know that he was present, in a way, also telling her to gather herself.

“ Oh…” But Pomni didn't budge. She wasn't as disassociated as earlier but still had little energy to be scared at that moment. “ Hey, Caine. I’ll get upstairs soon, I just need a minute to—”

He didn't have time for this. 

Snap!

The usual routine continued. He teleported her to their room, dumped her to bed and sent Pomni face down on the cushion. She doesn't think she would ever get used to that. She put her head up groggily, still too tired to even really complain, before crawling to her usual side of the bed, the right side. She let out a few sniffles of misery. But before she could tuck herself in, she realised that Caine hadn't greeted her goodnight. Or— hasn't even teleported away yet, actually…

She turned to Caine in the bedroom and would notice that he was looking at himself in the mirror. He was snapping his fingers, switching through different kinds of sleeping wear— what??

She squinted in confusion. Caine usually wouldn't stick around for any longer than a few seconds. 

“ Wh…what are you doing…” Pomni said, voice clearly still sore for all her time crying.

Caine finally found pajamas that fit him and fixed himself in the mirror. “ I'm spending my time here tonight.” 

“ …Why…?”

“ It doesn't concern you.” he turned to her, and floated his way to the bed, before noticing what she was wearing. She was still wearing her uniform! Is that what she was sleeping in the whole time? Honestly he hadn't cared, and he wouldn't care had it been for the fact that he was joining her tonight. He was in classy night wear while she wore her tutu. That simply isn't uniform.

A snap of a finger, and Pomni was wearing a nightgown that matched his shirt and pants. With bags under her eyes, she looked down. She didn't have the energy to comment on it as anything special. It was nice to be comfortable for once. But there was nothing more she can say about it.

“ There we go.” Caine said. “Goodnight, dear.”

“ …Goodnight.”

He put himself under the covers, but Pomni was still staring off. Someone who cared for Pomni would ask her how she was feeling, but they were not in the room at that moment.

Pomni wasn't feeling good. She was feeling terrible. If this was any other day, she would be terrified to be sleeping next to Caine. But the fact that she doesn't feel anything strong…

She didn't have a good day… entirely honestly, she was hoping to cry herself to sleep that night. It wouldn't be her first, and it wouldn't be her last. But with the devil beside her, he had no choice but keep herself together.

Her breath was shaken. But she laid down for sleep.

A few hours passed. It felt like the longest night the two would ever spend.

Pomni didn't know if it was her nerves or the room temperature, but she buried herself in her blanket. She could close her eyes all she wanted but no amount of pretend could distract her from all the voices in her head. She wasn't hallucinating, it wasn't anything. Rather the voices were more of doubt, insecurity, and fear. It would come often, but that night was especially loud. Terribly so.

Caine on the other hand was staring at the ceiling. Hands on his chest. He's been staring in silence for hours at this point —and he had the artificial patience to go on for longer—but he found this activity inconvenient. And even worse so when he could hear his wife sniffling right beside him.

Pomni finally started shaking under the covers. Hands shielding her head-- her knees were on to her chest with how curled up she was. It hurt to be quieter than she was already being. The voices got to her and all she could do was cry at that point.

Neither of the couple could get themselves to sleep.

Caine could only roll his eyes. While he stared at the ceiling, Pomni was faced to her side, away from him, curled up cold and unrested. For a moment she looked at the hands shielding her, and the representation of her entrapment looked back. With several bruises and scratches around it, her finger still dawned the very ring that put her there. 

The memory of Caine in the wedding ceremony played back-- the very moment he put the ring on her at the altar. That was the moment that sealed her fate. She wished she could take it back. The image felt like dying a hundred times over.

Caine wasn't stupid. Although he knew little understanding of the human condition his processors picked up on certain symptoms and body language. He would usually ignore them as they were a waste of energy, but he had nothing else to process other than the ceiling he'd been staring at for the past few hours.

He knew Pomni wasn't well. What for? He didn't care. All that he knew was that she was upset, and it wasn't worth his time. It wasn't anything that he hasn't already heard a hundred times from the other performers. She was going to cry again and again anyway. What was the use?

Her hiccups and sniffling were tiny compared to the rest of the room. And yet no one was willing to hear her, listen to her. Perhaps that was all she wanted. If she had someone to be there to trust-- maybe this would have been bearable. Maybe in a different timeline she would still have the strength to go on for just another day. But that wasn't realistic. Not in the digital realm. She could scream all she wanted and no one would bat an eye.

This wasn't the first time she cried tears this painful. And it certainly will not be the last.

[nataliesfirefly]

You and I Walk a Fragile Line - Farleigh Start x F! Reader - Part 8

a/n: heyy loves! if you’ve stuck around for all 8 parts, thank you SOOO much. writing this series and receiving so many kind comments and love has really made the past month and a half so enjoyable. i cant believe i’m concluding my first fic already!! it’s been so fun and i definitely want to write more. shoutout to my friend @avessss who encouraged me to start posting even though i was really nervous. i couldn’t have done it without her 💕 but anyways enjoy the last chapter! not sure when i will post next but until then… message me, give suggestions, etc!! love you all SOO much 💌

word count: 4.6k words

masterlist

playlist

warnings: MDNI 18+, afab reader, smut, oral (reader receiving), p in v, making out, language, angst for like one second, FLUFF, mentions of alcohol, not proofread

“A pint, please. Thanks.” You smile at the bartender as you slide forward five pounds. You stand and wait patiently, leaning against the bar as he shuffles away to go fill up a tall glass of beer.

You hear your name being said from next to you. You turn to see a familiar girl with olive skin and long, silky black hair. Your brain takes a few seconds to compute who it is.

“Sasha! Hey,” You grin and she smiles brightly. “Hi. I didn’t know if it was you or not,” She chuckles and you stand there awkwardly, not sure of what to say.

“How’s life?” She asks. “Uhh, good. Can’t complain.” You shrug as the bartender slides you the beer across the counter. You take a sip as she nods.

“Same here. Just a little terrified of the fact that we are going to be seniors in a year,” She runs a hand through her hair with a sigh. “Me too, girl.” You nod in agreement.

“How was your summer?” Sasha asks. You let out a sigh unintentionally before fixing your facial expression.

“It was… good,” You nod slowly, almost trying to convince yourself. “I don’t know if you know but…There’s a rumor going around that you and Farleigh had somewhat of a summer fling,” She winces after she says this.

“Oh God,” You press a hand to your forehead and shake your head. “Who told you that?” You groan.

“I’m assuming it came from Felix. I’m not sure, but I just wanted to tell you…” She places a hand on your shoulder comfortingly. “If you ever need to talk or anything like that, let me know.” She says, her English accent soft and elegant.

She seems almost too nice. You’ve never seen Sasha like this, so it’s hard to believe.

“Thank you.” You dip your head and take another sip of beer. “I know I was never the nicest to you and we were never close, but I’m here for you.” Her hand falls from your shoulder gently.

“I think I was honestly just threatened by you,” She continues. You jerk your head towards her quickly and furrow your eyebrows.

“What? Why?” You scoff as if it’s absurd. “I always had this… gut feeling that he was in love with you or something. He would talk about you nonstop, about how much you annoyed him and how much he ‘hated you.’ I knew better,” She shakes her head.

“Oh. Shit. I’m sorry,” You feel bad, suddenly. Like you were the cause of their relationship problems.

“But that whole thing is over now,” You wave your hand dismissively. “He’s an asshole, isn’t he?” You both giggle at her words.

“He is. I can see why you broke up with him,” You nod, feeling no remorse for talking about Farleigh this way. It’s all true. But you also know Sasha had a lot to do with the shitty parts of their relationship.

“I’ll see you around, yeah?” She grins and holds up her hand, giving a tiny wave. “Yeah. See you,” You watch her walk away before turning back to your drink, grabbing it and heading to find an empty table.

You sigh, leaning down and fishing your textbook out of your bag. You still have four chapters to read before tomorrow. The first term of your junior year is kicking your ass, even though it’s only October.

Sooner or later, you see Felix walking through the entrance of the pub. You immediately crane your neck to search for any signs of Farleigh, since he usually follows Felix around. But thankfully, he’s not anywhere to be found.

You turn your attention back to your textbook, and when you glance back up, Felix is sitting across from you.

“Hey.” He smiles and you notice the cigarette between his fingers. “Hi. How are you?” You reply, not exactly in the mood to talk to him right now.

“Oh, you know. Just drowning in work,” He sighs and leans back in his chair, throwing his head back slightly.

“You and me both,” You chuckle lightly and close your textbook, knowing you won’t get anything read so long as Felix is here. He leans forward again and takes a drag from his cigarette.

“So…” He starts, trailing off. You raise your eyebrows. “So?”

“Are you and Farleigh ever going to make up?” He asks suddenly. You cough, surprised by the abrupt question.

“No.” You shake your head. “Don’t even try it, Felix.” You roll your eyes and he groans. “Please, we don’t even get to hang out much anymore because you’re avoiding him,” He whines.

“Then just… arrange a time to hang out with me when Farleigh isn’t there.” You grimace at the feeling of his name in your mouth. Felix facepalms. “C’mon. Look, I don’t know what happened between you two, but…”

“It sounds like you think you know what happened.” You narrow your eyes and he seems confused. “What?” He tilts his head.

“Lola told me you’re spreading rumors. Like, that Farleigh and I had some fling over the summer,” You explain, and he glances down like he’s been caught, before looking back up with amusement twinkling in his eyes.

“What, you thought no one would hear you two fucking at one in the morning? You guys were so loud, it’s like you wanted to be caught,” He chuckles and shakes his head. Your face burns beet red with embarrassment.

“I don’t judge you for it. I just didn’t expect it,” He says. “Okay, but that doesn’t mean you go telling everyone about it,” You reply.

“I didn’t mean to. I told one person in confidence.” Felix says. “You know you can’t trust these people to keep things to themselves,” You shake your head in disappointment.

“Okay, I’m sorry. But I think Farleigh really wants to talk to you.” He says, his tone persuasive and you immediately cringe.

“I’m not talking to him. Nothing will come of it,” You finish off your beer and set the glass on the table decisively.

“I just don’t want our friendship to be messed up because of this.” He says, sounding a bit sad. You look back up to him and see him glancing down at his lap.

“We’re good. It doesn’t have anything to do with you.” It comes off harsher than you meant it to, but Felix doesn’t seem to mind. “I can’t just forgive and forget, you know?”

He nods. “Yeah. Alright, then. Just consider talking to him. I’ll see you later, mate.” He drums his fingers on the table before standing up and walking to the bar. You sigh and decide to pack up your things after checking your watch and seeing the time. It’s getting late.

You stand up and grab your bag, slinging it over your shoulder. You walk out of the pub and down the cobbled streets while looking around and just observing the several groups of students, chatting loudly or laughing. The chilly autumn breeze tosses around crimson and golden leaves.

You go over your plans for the remainder of tonight in your head. You’re going to get back to your dorm, take a shower, then get the rest of your work done. That is, if you don’t procrastinate like you usually do.

You enter your dorm building and then stop in your tracks when you see him standing there, at the bottom of the stairs. It’s like you have a full body reaction to him standing in front of you, sending a chill down your spine and making your stomach churn. He doesn’t speak, he just stares at you. You step forward, walking up the stairs and completely ignoring him. “Can we please talk?” Farleigh calls your name.

“No, we can’t.” You respond, your tone harsh and bitter. You hear footsteps coming up the stairs behind you and you increase your pace, trying to get to your door and unlock it before he can catch up to you. But it’s no use, he’s already standing there behind you.

“Please. Just let me talk to you,” He begs. You shake your head. “Farleigh, I already know how this is going to go. You don’t talk.” You can’t even stand to look at him, even addressing him is difficult after all these months of not speaking.

“I’m going to talk. I swear. Please,” He pleads. “Fine,” You groan with exasperation as you unlock your door, although you’re sort of curious as to what he’s going to say.

He closes the door behind him and you go to sit on the edge of your bed after setting your things down and kicking off your shoes, looking at him expectantly. “Okay, talk.”

“I’m sorry. For everything.” Farleigh says, and it surprisingly sounds sincere. “I’m sorry for being a dick to you all these years. And those things I said at Saltburn, I didn’t mean any of it.” His voice is quiet and he looks down at the ground as he speaks. You blink a few times and take a moment to respond.

“Why would you say those things if you never meant them?” You ask, your own voice timid as you remember all the harsh and cruel words he said to you that one night.

“Did you mean it when you said you hated me and you wished we never met?” He fires back. You bite the inside of your cheek and avoid his gaze as regret washes over you. “...I never said–”

“Yes you did.” It’s silent and the tension in the air is palpable. It seems like you’re both waiting for who is going to speak next, but you aren’t exactly sure what to say.

“I just don’t understand why you’re so eager to apologize when you’ve literally hated me since the day we first met,” You chuckle sarcastically and shake your head. He falls silent, and when you glance back up to him, he looks nervous, like something’s on the tip of his tongue.

“That’s not… exactly true.” He mutters. “I never hated you. I’ve loved you since the moment I first saw you. That night at Saltburn, when Felix introduced us to each other. I saw you and I just felt… Something just came over me. I’d never felt it before. I mean, I was so captivated by you. I couldn’t sleep that night because I was thinking about you every second. And I was scared. I was so scared. So I was mean to you.”

He lets out a breath after his confession and you stare at him in disbelief. You’re barely processing anything he’s saying. Is this real? You feel like you should pinch yourself to make sure you’re not dreaming.

“And Felix never kept his friends around for long, so I knew I couldn’t get attached to you. I thought you were just passing by and that I would never see you again. But when you came back the next summer, then the next, and then you got into Oxford, I knew I was fucked.

“I just kept pushing my feelings down and instead of dealing with them, I was just… a bitch. I was trying to push you away and I was hoping that would get rid of my feelings. But it didn’t. And I regret it so, so much. I wasted all this time and I was being so stupid. I was just scared of love. I was scared of loving you.”

You feel tears welling up in your eyes and you can hear your heart pounding in your chest. You swear you can see tears in his own eyes.

“What about Sasha?” You ask when you finally gather yourself. “Really? You don’t know why I dated Sasha?” He chuckles a bit like it should be obvious. You shake your head no.

“I just needed someone to distract me. I got with all those people to fill the void. I mean, Sasha and I’s relationship was purely based off of sex. And every single time, I pictured that it was you instead of Sasha. I would close my eyes and imagine it was you. I think that was the only way I was able to get off,” He laughs. Your eyes widen at his words and your stomach flips. So that was why he was always moaning like a bitch?

“So when we finally… I freaked out. It was getting too real, and so I pushed you away again. And I said some shitty things.” You blink and a few tears fall. You don’t even know how to describe how you’re feeling right now. So many emotions are building inside of you, and they’re so dense and heavy, you’re not sure how to comprehend them.

“I’m so, so fucking sorry.” Farleigh seems to notice that you’re crying. “You didn’t deserve any of that. I’m a fucking idiot,”

Before you know it you’re off of your bed, crashing into him and sobbing against his chest. He wraps his arms around you, locking you in a tight embrace and enveloping you in his warmth. Your shoulders shake as you feel all the emotions pouring out of you. He holds you like he’s never going to let go. You don’t want him to let go. Ever.

“I’m so sorry,” He whispers your name into your hair. “I’ll never do that to you again.” He continues muttering these things to you as you let him hold you, melting into the hug.

You look up at him and his brown eyes are illuminated with affection. Something about him is different. He’s softer, unlike his usual cold and teasing personality.

He gently moves some hair out of your face and kisses your forehead, causing you to blush and smile softly.

“Why did we waste so much time when we could have been together?” You ask timidly, more of a rhetorical question. He sighs and tucks a strand of hair behind your ear.

“Cause we’re stupid,” He chuckles and you let out a quiet laugh. “It doesn’t matter now. We have the rest of our lives to make up for it,” He grins down at you and you smile against his hand that cups your face. He leans down and you tilt your head up to meet his lips. The kiss you share is slow and sensual, like you’re both trying to savor each other for as long as possible, like you’re making up for all those years of fabricated hatred. You can’t deny that you missed his lips and the way that he kisses, the way his tongue licks into your mouth. He pulls away after a minute.

“But I still feel like I need to make it up to you,” Farleigh’s expression changes and his voice lowers to that familiar deep and gravelly sound. You can see the lust in his eyes and you feel butterflies swarming in your stomach.

“What should I do for you, baby?” His hands snake down to your hips as he lowers himself slowly to the ground until he’s on his knees. Your heart races and you feel chills racing across your skin.

He looks up at you and you swear your knees almost give out from underneath you just at the sight. “Far..” You giggle shyly and feel your face burn red.

His fingers fiddle with the waistband of your skirt, almost teasing you and waiting until you ask him to take it off. But after a moment he’s pulling it down gently, and you step out of it gingerly and nudge it to the side with your foot.

He groans and his hands roam up and down your thighs. “You’re so perfect,” He mumbles as he hooks your lace panties under his fingers and pulls them down as well, almost hurriedly this time like he’s just that eager to eat you out until you’re sobbing for him.

Without any warning or time to prepare, his mouth is already on you, tasting you passionately with his tongue and moaning, the vibrations going straight to your core.

You moan breathlessly, your hand reaching down to tangle in his curly hair for something to ground you, and he seems to like this. He keeps letting out these small, needy whines like he’s the one getting devoured.

Every swirl and flick of his tongue has you whimpering like you’re in pain, your legs feeling unstable and weak. He sucks on your clit and you feel two of his fingers already inching their way inside, curling inside of you deliciously. It’s all too much and your breath has turned into short, high-pitched, desperate huffs.

“Please- Shit, Farleigh,” The third finger he inserts draws a long moan out of you. You don’t care if your neighbors hear you. You’re too lost in the pleasure that he’s giving you, with no drawbacks or regret looming in the future. When you think about how he just confessed his love for you, it only brings you closer to the edge of your beautiful release.

He laps up your slick, his tongue getting dangerously close to your entrance. You gasp for air as his fingers leave, only to be replaced by his tongue. You whine at the new feeling of his tongue deep inside of you, his thumb circling your clit. You feel your climax approaching, threatening to make you crumble and beg for mercy.

A deep and guttural groan leaves him as he continues fucking you with his tongue. “Far, I’m close-“ Your hand twists in his hair and you roll your hips against his face absentmindedly, almost like you’re stuck in a trance.

His tongue slips out of you, his nose nudging against your clit. Then, you’re gone. You feel like you’re floating, like you’re the only two people in the world right now, all your thoughts disappearing as that divine ecstasy shoots through your veins and melts your muscles and your bones.

He stands back up and takes you into his strong arms, cradling you as he brings you over to your bed, with occasional kisses along the way. You both pull away to tear off your clothes. You hurriedly pull off your sweater and your bra and toss them aside, hearing them land somewhere on the floor. Farleigh takes his own shirt off and his jeans, revealing that beautiful body you’ve subconsciously been dreaming of.

“Lay down,” You tell him with some sort of newfound confidence. You’ve never been on top before, but right now you want to pay him back and give him all that you have to offer.

“Mmm,” He hums in response, laying down on your small, twin-sized bed. You climb onto the bed and straddle him, feeling slightly nervous as his hands rest on your hips. You keep your hands on his chest as you grind your hips down onto him, feeling the form of him through his boxers.

He’s rock hard, and it only encourages you to continue to grind against him, rolling your hips smoothly and slowly. He whimpers and grips your hips harder, biting his lip. “Fuck, baby,” He moans, his hips bucking up slightly to meet yours.

You can’t wait anymore. You reach down and maintain eye contact as you slowly pull down his boxers, shuffling them down his legs.

It’s definitely intimidating, but you’re determined to ride him. He looks up at you. “Is this okay?” He asks, his hands returning to your hips. You nod. “Yeah,” You reply before rising up on your knees and adjusting yourself before sinking down onto him.

You wince at the delicious pain as your teeth sink into the plush of your bottom lip, his hands guiding you further down his length. A string of curses leave his lips once his whole cock is inside of you. He definitely missed this.

You place your hands on his chest again as you begin to drag your hips back and forth. He whimpers and whispers your name like a prayer. “That’s it, fuck-“ His grasp on your hips tighten and you can already guess that you’ll have bruises.

You rock your hips back and forth, creating a better pace for the two of you as he thrusts up into you. That pained look crosses his face again as you make eye contact. You’re completely enthralled by the sight of each other, a sheen of sweat forming on both of your foreheads. Your head falls back once you finally find the perfect angle that brings you such satisfaction, your jaw going slack. “Baby,” He begs, breathing heavily.

You feel yourself growing tired from the fast rhythm, and you slow down, still circling your hips on top of him. He seems to sense that you’re growing fatigued, so he flips the two of you over, switching your places. You’re dizzy and caught off guard, but you focus on his eyes as he takes over, slowly thrusting into you with long strokes.

Farleigh reaches down to grab your hand, intertwining your fingers together and holding on tightly. He lowers his head to pepper kisses across your forehead, your nose, your cheeks. He brushes some hair out of your face.

“I love you,” He mutters, his nose rubbing against yours. Your eyes widen at his words and your heart skips a beat. You squeeze his hand weakly and grin.

“I love you too,” You whisper back, feeling tears brimming in your eyes. “I love you so much,” You tell him, and he lets his head fall into the crook of your neck as he moans desperately, his thrusts faltering. Your other hand rests on the top of his head, stroking his curls. You both finish at the same time, whispering each other’s names and more confessions of love. It’s meaningful, beautiful, and sweet. Something you’ve craved but never experienced. That is, until now.

He collapses next to you and eventually pulls out of you, causing you to grunt just a bit. You lay there, your legs entangled with his and his arms around you protectively. He pulls the sheets over the two of you and continues to kiss you slowly with so much passion and affection.

Farleigh pulls away and swipes the tears off your cheeks, his gaze never leaving yours. You take his hand in yours once again and press your forehead against his.

“I could get used to this,” You whisper with a cheeky grin. He laughs softly. “Really?” He responds sarcastically, raising his eyebrows.

“Really.” You giggle quietly and he presses another kiss to your cheek. “I would consider spending the rest of my life with you,” He shrugs nonchalantly and you can’t seem to stop smiling. You don’t think you’ve ever been this happy in your life.

“You’d consider it? Woah, thanks,” You say with fake awe, gasping. “I’ve been considering it for a while, actually,” He mutters, running his fingers through your hair. “Have you?” You whisper, suddenly feeling sleepy. Everytime he holds you like this, it puts you right to sleep. You feel so safe and loved in his arms.

“Mhm.” His other hand rests on the small of your back and you feel your eyelids growing heavy. “I love you, Farleigh,” You whisper. “I love you too.” He replies, and with that, you drift off to sleep, with no cares or worries in the world, now that you’ve finally solved your problems with Farleigh. You’re so glad you gave him a second chance.

The next morning you wake up to Farleigh pulling you closer to him, nuzzling his head in your chest and groaning. You yawn and glance over to your bedside table, checking the time on your alarm clock. 9:42 AM.

Shit. You forgot about your class. It started at 9:30. Oh well. You groan and let your head fall back onto the pillow, rubbing your forehead.You pat Farleigh’s head, his curls sticking out at awkward angles but still managing to look cute.

You shiver and reach down to pull the duvet over yourself. He stirs at your movement and eventually, his dark brown eyes open.

A grin immediately appears on his face as he looks at you, taking in your appearance. Thank God you hadn’t worn makeup the day before. You were in your natural state, besides the messy hair. He traces his finger along your jawline and you smile, tilting your head.

“Good morning,” He wraps you up in his arms again, desperate to be close to you. His voice is deep and raspy. You’ll never get tired of his morning voice.

“Morning,” You reply, snuggling up to him and breathing in his scent. He kisses the top of your head and rubs your back soothingly.

“Do you know how many times I’ve dreamt about waking up next to you?” Farleigh asks. You giggle quietly. “Well, your wish came true,” You reply with a quick raise of your brows.

Suddenly, you remember what Lola said that one night at Saltburn as you think about you and Farleigh’s relationship over the years.

“Lola told me something a few months ago,” You start. “Mmm, and what was that?” He responds.

You inhale slowly. “She said that you were looking for me one morning and you came by our dorm, and you seemed very worried about me,” You smile at the thought, knowing what you know now.

“Oh. Yeah, I remember that. I was always worried sick about you. Whether you got home after a night out, if you drank too much, if some guy took advantage of you…” He trails off and sighs.

“Really?!” You ask, gazing up at him in shock. “You’re so confusing,” You let out a breathy laugh and shake your head.

“Do you remember our first night at Oxford? The very first party we went to?” He asks. You nod. He fiddles with a strand of your hair.

“After our little… argument, I stayed away from you the rest of the night. But then it was getting late, and I couldn’t find you, and I didn’t know if you knew the way back to your dorm. When I went into the bathroom I found you passed out on the floor. Black out drunk.” He explains, his voice soft.

“Anyone could have found you, or taken advantage of you. So I picked you up and carried you back to your dorm and tucked you into your bed.” Your eyes widen as your brain registers his words. Lola never told you about that.

“And when we were talking that night on the steps outside at Saltburn when we couldn’t sleep, the first summer you were there, you fell asleep on my shoulder. So I carried you up to your room.”

It’s silent for a minute as you process this. Was it a common theme for Farleigh to carry you to your bed when you were passed out?

“I never knew you cared that much.” You whisper, reaching up to play with one of his curls. “I don’t think I knew, either.” He mumbles.

You kiss him, slowly and gently, smiling against his lips. He grins, breaking the kiss, before holding the back of your head and guiding you back to him.

And you really believe that in this moment, you could die happy. You want to spend the rest of your life with him. The hot August nights, the freezing December mornings, the summer days under cerulean skies. The good days and the bad days. You can’t even remember how it felt to hate Farleigh. Every single trace of dislike for him is gone, erased completely from your heart. All that’s left is a love too strong to comprehend.

taglist: @isla-finke-blog @ibimbogrl @drunkmysticsquirrel @alonia-olivia @novemilady @saltburnsworld @florkt @i-love-ptv @imjustheretoreadsmuthaha

[ham-st4r]

𝓦𝓪𝓼𝓽𝓮𝓭 𝓽𝓲𝓶𝓮 𝓟𝓽.3 - 𝓛. 𝓗𝓮𝓮𝓼𝓮𝓾𝓷𝓰

Pairing: heeseung + female reader!

Warnings: smut, cursing, alcohol, angst, crying.

Genre: fuck buddies-ish, toxic relationship.

Summary: after pining over you for weeks, heeseung finds himself not being able to accept the fact that you’re out of his life for good, so he decides to do something about it cause there’s no way he was gonna let you go that easily.

Number of words: 3,4k

Find your way around!

Pt.1 pt.2

It had been a good two weeks or three, maybe even a month. Heeseung didn’t know, but what he did know was that he missed you.

He missed your texts. He missed your voice, your scent, your feel.

Everything about you he missed.

No matter the cases of beer or the bottles of liquor he consumed, he still only thought about you, and as much as he knew he should move on, he didn’t want to. He knows he doesn’t deserve you, but he still selfishly craves you more than anything in this world.

So much so that after you didn’t answer his texts or calls, he decided to take matters into his own hands and go to your apartment cause he couldn’t just let you go that easily. You were far too precious to him.

He had no script, no rational explanation as to why he treated you the way he did.

But while he still had somewhat of a chance, he was going to let you know just how much he did want you and just how much he cares for you.

No matter the outcome, he just needed you to know and to apologize, even though you deserved more. He knew he didn’t have much to give other than the truth.

He just hoped that it would be enough.

Once he arrived at your apartment, he took a deep breath before knocking on your door. He hasn’t felt this nervous in forever.

Your brows furrowed in confusion as you heard soft knocks on your door. “That’s strange,” you whispered to yourself. You weren’t expecting any company from anyone sunoo had already left weeks ago, and you hadn’t ordered anything. “Hmm,” you walked over to your door, and you stopped breathing when you looked out the peephole and saw none other than the man you’d been crushing on for the past year standing outside your door with flowers.

You don’t even know why but somehow, just seeing him made your heart flutter, but you reminded yourself of your promise you weren’t going to go crawling back to him no matter how much your stupid heart fluttered.

He left another soft knock on your door, and you finally opened it, revealing his surprised face. He stared at you for a few seconds before greeting you. “Hi, y/n” he gave you a small smile, but you didn’t return it nor his greeting. “Can we, uhh, can we talk?” He asked nervously while looking at the roses he had picked up for you on his way here.

You didn’t say anything and stepped aside to let him in. He was waiting awkwardly by the door until you led him to your bedroom.

He followed closely behind you and set the roses on your nightstand while you sat on your bed and waited for him to talk.

He sighed deeply and took a few seconds to gather his thoughts. It wasn’t exactly easy for him to talk to you after being apart for so long.

“You wanted to talk, so talk,” you said coldly and folded your arms over your chest. You weren’t going to lie. You were curious about what he had to say, especially after that night when he just walked out on you.

“Listen, I’m not even going to pretend like I know what to say to you right now, so I’m just going to tell you how I feel” he took a deep breath before confessing to you. You’d think it’d be easy to talk with someone you’ve been hooking up with the past year, but it wasn’t cause this moment was entirely different. “I’m sorry for what I did the last time I saw you, and I’m sorry for showing up unannounced” You nodded your head slightly, signaling for him to continue. “Fuck” he muttered and rubbed his face in frustration cause the words weren’t coming out the way he intended for them to.

He took a seat next to you and held your hands in his while facing you. “I’m sorry for everything, even before all that, okay?” He rubbed your palm with his thumb softly. “I know I fucked up bad with you. I took you for granted, and I wasted your time, but after spending this time apart, I realized just how much I missed you and how much you mean to me, and you’re right I’m an asshole, and I know that, but I want to change for you I want to build something more between us” he brought your hand to his lips and placed a gentle kiss to the back of it. “I’m asking for a second chance, please I swear i’ll do right by you this time” he looked you in the eyes anticipating your answer.

You always thought actions were better than words, so you wrapped your arms around his neck and pulled him in for a kiss.

He instantly returned it and put his hands on your waist as he smiled into the kiss. “But wait,” he stopped abruptly. “What about you and that other guy?” He rested his forehead on yours as much as he wanted you all for himself. If you belonged to someone else, he wasn’t going to get in the way of that. He was many things, but he wasn’t the type to cheat or assist anyone in it.

“We were never a thing,” you whisper against his lips, and that’s all it takes for him to press his lip’s against yours again.

The feeling of your lips on his was to die for, he couldn’t describe just how much he missed this. “I lov-“ you interrupted him with another kiss, and you took him by surprise when you put your hands inside his jacket and peeled it off of his shoulders.

He took it off the rest of the way while you slipped your hands under his shirt and massaged his chest.

Your fingers brushed across his nipples, making them go hard instantly and he exhaled a sharp breath from the feeling.

You eagerly tugged on his shirt so he could get the hint and take it off.

He broke the kiss for only a second to remove his shirt. While he took off his top, you ripped yours off as well, putting your bare chest on full display just for him.

His hands roamed your chest right away and you whimpered into his mouth as he thumbed at your perky nipples while kneaded your soft breast with his warm hands.

You pulled away from the kiss and lay back on your bed. He automatically hovered over you and kissed your jawline until he reached your collarbone, nipping at it gently.

You put your hands on his back, scratching it lightly as he swirls his wet tongue around your hardened bud.

You moaned and your eyes rolled back in your head when he started sucking on your nipples.

You trailed your hands up his nape, causing a shiver to run up his spine.

He groaned against your chest as you gripped his hair and pulled on it roughly, and he’d be lying if he said his dick didn’t twitch at your eagerness for him. “I missed you” he gripped your thigh and wrapped it around his waist as he rutted his clothed bulge against your core.

“Me too,” you admit while he stared down at you with his lip between his teeth. “Heeseung” you moan his name softly.

You didn’t need to say anything more for him to know what you needed.

He pecked your lips and leaned back, spreading your legs open with his knees as he lowered himself on the bed.

He hooked his fingers inside the waistband of your shorts and underwear, pulling them both down in one go.

He smirked when you instinctively lifted your hips and allowed him to pull your clothing down your legs.

He released a shaky breath when he saw the string of arousal dripping from your hole and staining your underwear.

You shivered once the cool air fanned across your core, and you clenched around nothing when you saw him licking his lower lip at the sight of your naked body.

He tossed your discarded clothes onto the floor and laid between your legs. “So pretty” his hot breath grazed your skin, and goosebumps formed all over your body. “So so pretty,” he whispers as he kisses your hip bone.

He was beyond grateful for you even giving him a second chance, and he wasn’t going to take another moment with you for granted. He was going to take his precious time with you and shower you with care before making sweet love to you.

He drew random shapes on your hips while placing hundreds of feather-light kisses all over your lower stomach.

He moved down lower and kissed right above your clit. Before you could react, he flattened his tongue against your sensitive nub and wrapped his lips around the delicate flesh, sucking on it gently.

It’s been too long since he tasted you. Admittedly, he never went down on you after the first couple of months of hooking up cause he didn’t care about pleasuring you, but now he felt terrible cause all those times you came over, he never even made you cum. He just selfishly got off and sent you home.

But now that he got a second chance with you, all of that was going to change. He was going to give you the best orgasms of your life.

He hummed in satisfaction from the taste of your arousal hitting his tastebuds, and he wished he had of done this every time you went to his place cause the sweet sounds you made when he licked your glistening folds were nothing but music to his ears.

A quiet whimper escaped his mouth when you pushed his face closer to your drenched core. He gripped your hips as he stuck his tongue inside your hole to lap up the juices.

You bucked your hips up, riding his face while he tongue fucked you.

He gulped down each glob of arousal that flowed from your wet hole as you ran your fingers through his hair.

He used his middle and index finger, dragging them through your folds to collect your wetness before slowly pushing them inside of you.

You bit your lip when you felt his thick fingers working you open, and your legs clamped together involuntarily.

The pleasure was too much for you to handle after not being touched for so long. “Oh s-shit he- heeseung,” you moaned his name breathlessly as he held your legs apart with his free hand while sucking on your swollen clit.

He groaned at the sound of your voice when you moaned his name, and the vibration sent a shockwave of pleasure throughout your core.

When you felt him curling his fingers inside you, you couldn’t help but clench around his digits as he massaged your spot perfectly.

He looked up at you through hooded eyes, and your breath got caught in your throat when you watched him completely devouring your pussy.

He squeezed your thigh as he sped up the movement of his fingers and flicked his tongue on your clit.

Your tight grip on his hair was enough of a sign to let him know you were almost to your breaking point.

He moaned when he felt your walls gripping his fingers tightly. A few more flicks of his skillful tongue and you were creaming around his digits. “Fuck heeseung!” You yelped his name and your legs became a trembling mess as he fingered you through your intense orgasm.

He kept fingering you until your whole body was shaking in overstimulation. You tried to close your legs, but he pried them open and rubbed circled your clit with his thumb, you felt another orgasm building up inside you as your muscles tensed and your toes curled. “Go ahead, love, let go,” he encouraged you to come a second time as his fingers worked magic between your legs.

You mewled his name with your lips pursed in pleasure. You looked between your legs and saw him staring at your pussy as you convulsed around his digits. “I’m gonn- fuck heeseung, I’m cumming!” you moaned uncontrollably, and only moments later, you were squirting all over him and the bed.

“Fuck” he whispered to himself as he watched your squirt soaking the bed sheets.

He leveled his face with your beautiful pussy and slurped up all your release praising you as you slowly recovered from your state of bliss. “Such a good girl” he nibbles on your thigh and slowly slips his fingers out of you to catch the last drops of your cum on his tongue. “So good,” he whispers after kissing your clit one last time.

He smoothed his palms over your thighs before he got off the bed.

Your body tingled with excitement when you heard the clanking mental of his belt.

Once he finished taking it off, he opened the button on his pants and pulled his zipper down.

You gasped when he took off his bottoms. No matter how many times you’ve seen him like this, it always felt like the first time you’d never get tired of admiring him and his perfect body.

He got back on the bed and hovered over you once more as he brushed your hair out of your face and leaned down to give you a kiss.

He let his lips linger a little longer on yours, and he made sure to take his time with you cause one thing he noticed about you was you always enjoyed it more when he took it nice and slow. “You doing okay?” He asked carefully as he circled his thumb on your cheek like you were the most fragile thing on earth.

You nodded and wrapped your legs around his waist, pulling his body closer to yours.

He smiled into the kiss while slowly rotating his hips and brushing his length against your core.

You both whined in pleasure when his tip slipped through your wet folds.

He wasn’t expecting that this was how the meet-up was going to go. He definitely wasn’t complaining, but he just wasn’t prepared. “Wait, baby, I don’t have a condom,” he sighed disappointingly.

“It’s okay” You cupped his face and pecked his lips.

“Are you sure?” He looked at you with his round shiny eyes full of concern, and you smiled a little.

“Of course, I’m sure” he rested his forehead on yours and lined himself up with your opening.

He exhaled a sharp breath as he pushed the tip in you. “Y/n,” he said your name in a quiet whisper while burying himself inside you deeper and deeper until he bottomed out. “Oh god,” he gritted through his teeth as he pulled out til only the tip was inside and slowly pushed back in, creating a steady pace as his girth caressed against your walls perfectly.

You felt like the air had been sucked from your lungs, and you could barely breathe as his cock stroked overwhelmingly deep inside you. “So deep,” you exhaled a deep breath.

His eyes fell shut as he focused on pleasing you. He dipped his head down, sensually kissing and licking your neck, all while maintaining a slow passionate rhythm with his unwavering hips.

You arched your back and gripped his biceps leaving deep red crescents on his flesh, and you swore you could feel him even deeper inside you. “You feel so good,” he choked out as he felt your walls hugging him tightly. “So beautiful,” he said once he leaned up and made eye contact with you.

He guided your hands so you could rest them next to your head and immediately intertwined his fingers together with yours. “So precious,” he breathed out and locked your lips together.

You melted when you felt his chest pressed against yours, and your lips moved in perfect harmony as you both got closer and closer to falling apart. “Cum inside me,” you whispered, and his dick twitched inside you at your words. You wrapped your legs around him tighter when you felt his hips starting to lose their rhythm.

“Is that really what you want?” He used his last ounce of rationality to make sure you really wanted what you were saying you did.

“Yes, heeseung, please,” you whimper when he places his lips on yours. Your mouth automatically falls open, and he invites himself inside, swirling his tongue with yours. Even though you were both running out of oxygen, you just couldn’t find it in you to pull away, especially when you were so close.

You didn’t need to tell him twice. He was ready to give you any and everything that you wanted.

His abdomen brushed against your clit just right. Three deep thrusts later and your orgasm came crashing down on you.

Your walls throbbed around his cock intensely, setting his orgasm off just seconds after yours.

A pleasured cry emitted from the both of you while experiencing your bliss together. He squeezed your hands tighter and tried his best to kiss you back.

You squeezed around him even tighter when you felt him emptying out his warm release inside you. His jaw went slack while you took over the kiss and sucked on his tongue, and he swears more cum dribbled out of his tip when you did that.

He was panting into your mouth as his cock throbbed inside you.

He painted your walls pearly white with his creamy release and filled you up to the absolute brim, leaving you completely satisfied.

He collapsed on top of you and craned his neck to the side, pressing multiple little kisses to your cheek while you both caught your breaths.

It took more than a few minutes to fully recover, but once you did, he propped himself up and pulled out of you as gently as possible so he wouldn’t overstimulate you. “You okay?” He asked softly and kissed your forehead. You nodded tiredly, and he smiled at you. “Wait here,” he whispered to you and got out of bed. He put his underwear on before going to the bathroom to get some wet wipes to clean you up with.

He made his way over to you and covered your upper body with your blankets. While he cleaned between your legs, he kissed each of your thighs softly. After wiping you clean, he tossed the wipes into your trash bin.

You wrapped the blankets around your body and sat against the headboard while he laid next to you and draped his arm around your waist while closing his eyes. “What are you doing?” You ask him.

He sat up and looked at you with a puzzled expression on his face. “What do you mean?” He chuckled confusedly and tried to lay back down next to you, but you shoved him back by his chest, and his heart dropped.

“I mean, get out,” you said without even looking at him.

“Y/n, you can’t seriously be asking me to leave after we jus-“

“I can, and I am. Now go,” you pointed towards the door.

“You’re joking with me right?” he says in a state of pure denial. “You said you missed me too a-and you forgave me.”

You chuckled dryly and rolled your eyes. “I never forgave you.”

“But you kissed me, and I thought…” his voice went out before he could even finish what he wanted to say.

“Yeah, and you kissed me before, too that obviously meant nothing before, so it means nothing now,” you replied harshly.

“B-but, y/n…. I apologized for that, baby, please I-I love you” he tried to reach for your hand, but you pulled it away.

He had gone completely silent. After that, he stood up, and a feeling of dejection bubbled inside his chest as he put his clothes on slowly, hoping at some point you’d tell him it was a joke or tell him you wanted him to stay.

But unfortunately for him, that never came.

You watched him walk to the door, and just before he walked out, you called his name.

He turned around and looked at you with a hopeful look in his eyes, the same look your eyes held when he kicked you out that dreadful night. “Lock the door when you leave,” you said with a smile on your face, and he couldn’t even deny that he deserved every bit of that, but that still didn’t make it hurt any less. If anything, it hurt worse.

He smiled at you sadly, and you caught sight of a tear running down his cheek before he shut your door.

When you heard the door shut and the silence kick in, you smiled to yourself, wondering how it felt for him to be treated like garbage and kicked to the curb like he was nothing.

But after five minutes of silence, you were left alone with your thoughts, and you couldn’t help but picture the look on his face before he left.

All of a sudden, your heart felt heavy, and you felt a familiar feeling in the pit your stomach.

That didn’t feel anywhere near as good as you thought it would. In fact, it didn’t feel good at all.

At first, you didn’t think he was capable of apologizing and being sincere, but when he looked you in your eyes and told you he loved you, he looked every bit of sincere.

You thought back to just moments ago when he kissed you so delicately and cleaned you up after he made love to you, and you felt sick to your stomach.

Your eyes just so happened to fall on the roses he brought you, and a single tear rolled down your cheek.

You grabbed them off your nightstand and hugged them to your chest as warm tears spilled from your eyes.

FIN

@yumispky @heej43 @multifandomgurllll @chandlerscigarettes (bold can’t be tagged)

If anyone wants to be added to a permanent tag list, please let me know. Thanks for reading. Please reblog and leave feedback.

Thank you so much for reading. I appreciate each and every one of you who made it to the end. - 🐹

[venusdian]

The Black Aesthetic - 005.

Previous | Chapter 4

"Being Black isn't an Aesthetic, It's culture."

(This is a mixture of 1st & 3rd POV) - 2.7K Words

Marí

────

Friday Morning

I was awakened by the sound of somebody not understanding a bitch is fucking asleep. I snatched my phone off the nightstand and saw it was Tailah calling me. I begrudgingly answered the call.

“What.”

“Well, good morning to you, Marí.”

“Oh, fuck off. What do you want?”

“OOO Language.”

“Tailah, don’t piss me off.”

“I need you to go to Genesis’ school and place a bereavement leave for her.” I slowly sat up on the bed and gasped.

“Ms. Donna ain’t make it?” She lets out a sad sigh.

“She died last night. We’ll probably be in Knoxville for the next couple of days to handle the funeral arrangements and things like that.” Damn, I felt horrible for Devin. He just lost his dad and now his mom. I can’t bear to imagine the pain that he’s going through. It didn’t hurt as much as when my mom died, but if our dad died?

I think I would be in shambles. I love our dad a lot. Even though I found out he was my dad later in life, even when he didn’t know I was his daughter, he always treated me as his own. I feel awful for Devin.

“Yeah, but uhh, I was able to get some documents confirming her death. I already called the school. You just gotta go up there and drop off the paperwork that I’m faxing you right now. Her teacher should have packets for her to complete her assignment while we’re in Knoxville.” I nodded.

“Ok, that’s fine. Hold up! Why ain’t you ask your parents to do that shit?”

“Well, My mom has some things to do at the youth center and dad is busy with the church. Which reminds me, Dad said to call him tonight, he misses you.” I groaned.

“I’ll think about it. I love him, but he talks too damn much and then gets mad when I have nothing to say.” Tailah is just going to laugh. I’m glad she finds it funny because I don’t. That shit is annoying. I be ready to go to bed then, BOOM! Here he comes calling my phone telling me about some damn fishing trip.

“Look, just call him.” I groaned.

“Aight, Tee. I’ma call you when I have everything done.”

“Ok, cool. We’re staying at his parent’s place.” I gasped.

“You want me to drop the shit off too?!” I exclaimed. Tailah kisses her teeth.

“See you soon, Marí.” Before I could argue, she hung up the phone. Again, That dusty bitch owes me.

omniscient

────

Alexandra Crane busts open Noah’s office door. Noah looks up and is stunned to see Alex at his office.

“When in the fuck were you going to tell me you cut my studio session for some Instagram thot?” Alex angrily asks Noah. Noah sighs, realizing he had forgotten to tell her that news so her anger is reasonable.

“I’m sorry, Alex—” Alex interrupts him, putting her hand up.

“You know how much this comeback album means to me. For nine months I’ve been writing and perfecting my craft for a perfect comeback. I can’t afford to lose any studio time. It’s already bad enough I have to come to Memphis to record music, taking time away from my daughter—” Noah sighs.

“I understand—”

“DO YOU?! It seems like this is too much for you, and if That’s the case, I can find somebody else.” Noah gets up and shakes his head.

“No, look. I can book another session with Max on Saturday, too. You’re here till Sunday, and we’ll use this time wisely.”

“But, you didn’t answer my question. Why is she also booked for today.” He sighs.

“Because I’ve been neglecting all my clients to focus on you.”

“Well, that sounds like a personal problem. You know, I didn’t have these issues with Marí.” Noah takes a deep breath. He was growing tired of the comparison. Noah was trying his best. He already had his clients, but now he had double the workload, trying to make Marí’s clients happy, too. He just wished they understood.

“Look, Alex, these past few weeks, I’ve been dealing with getting sample clearance because you want to sample the whole damn music catalog. I’ve been calling venues and working with your label trying to perfect your rollout. So, spare me the bullshit right now. I have other clients, not just you. I’ll make sure we have studio sessions until the time you leave. But what I have is set in stone, ok?” Alex stares at him, stunned by his tone and language.

She understood where he was coming from, but it was still the principal. He didn’t even ask if she wanted to cut her studio time. She huffs and storms out of his office. Noah sighs, looking down with his arms crossed. He doesn’t want to admit this was overwhelming for him. But, he was losing sleep trying to please everyone. Maybe, it was time to throw in the towel.

Marí

────

I walk into the main office with the paperwork in my hand. I’m tired. That’s all I got. I’m tired and Tailah better be lucky that I love her.

“Aye, they know I’m supposed to be here.” The secretary looks up at me, confused.

“But, I don’t. Name?” She asked with a slight attitude. I glared at her but decided to take the easy route, taking a deep breath.

“Marí Dunlock. I’m Genesis Glenn’s Godmother. She’s supposed to be on Bereavement, and y’all need documents or whatever.” I explained. She begins typing on her computer, not looking up at me. I huffed as I folded my arms.

“Is there a problem?” The secretary asked me. I lick my lips. She really testing my gangsta right now.

“No. But it will be if you don’t fix your attitude.” I threatened.

“If that’s a threat I will have to call security.” She smugly says. Right on cue, Ava comes out of her office. I looked up at her.

“Ava getcho girl before you have to call an ambulance.”

“On who?”

“You.” Ava got in between us.

“Aye, calm down. As much as I would love to watch a fight unfold. I can’t afford to get in trouble and be broke. Shante, I’ll take over.” I mugged her as she mugged me back, I wanted to hop over and beat that hoe ass, but Ava was pulling me into her office. I go into her office, and she closes the door behind us.

“How she died?” Ava’s nosey ass asks me. I looked at her in disbelief.

“You just have no decorum at all, huh?” Ava looks at me, waiting for an answer. I let out a sigh.

“She died due to a heart attack.” Ava clutches her chest.

“My god! That’s horrible.” I shake my head, handing her the paperwork. She takes the paperwork and begins to read it.

“So, you want my man back.” Ava rambles off.

“Nigga, what?”

“You want Gregory back.” I pinched the bridge of my nose.

“What is with this fucking town about me and Greg!” I angrily exclaimed. It’s like this stupid ass town wants us to get back together. Which is fucking weird like don’t they have their own lives or something?! Ava laughs, amused by my irritation.

“Look, Your niece tried to pay Janine to break up with Greg so y’all can get back together.” My eyes widen, and my jaw drops.

“You’re fucking lying.” Ava shakes her head.

“Yeah, she offered her twenty bucks.”

“Oh… I gotta talk to Janine. I don’t want her to think—” Ava smiles, getting up with her messy ass.

“I’ll gladly take you to her room.” I sighed.

“Fine,” I grumbled. We left Ava’s office and headed to Janine’s classroom. I know Gigi had good intentions, but Greg and I are over and will never be together. He’s happy with Janine, and I’m at peace about being alone. Once we arrived at Janine’s classroom, Ava entered the classroom, calling Janine to come outside. Janine looked at her worriedly but came outside, stunned to see me.

“Janine, hey! Look, I want to apologize for Gigi. She’s just—” Janine smiles, shaking her head.

“No, it’s fine, really.” I sympathetically looked at her.

“No, it’s not. I know you and Greg are together and happy. I don’t want to interfere with that.” I reassured her. She nods.

“Look, Marí it’s fine. Honestly, Genesis is a great girl and I know she has a big heart. I wasn’t offended by it.”

“Ok.” Janine and I awkwardly looked at each other. Then she excused herself back to her classroom.

“BOOOO! TOMATOES! TOMATOES!” Ava announced. I rolled my eyes and walked away.

“Where are you going?” She called out.

“I’m going to get Genesis’ schoolwork.” I walked to Gregory’s classroom, knocking on the door.

“It’s open.” He called out. I entered the classroom, and it was empty.

“Hey, Greg.” I nervously called out. He looks back at me and smiles.

“Oh, hey, Marí. I assume you’re here for Genesis’ school work.” I nodded.

“Yeah.”

“Well, come in. It’s on my desk.” I hummed, nodding. I walked over and sat down, collecting everything.

“Greg, I’m so sorry that Gigi asked Janine to break up with you.” Gregory nonchalantly hums.

“It’s fine.”

“No, it’s not. You’re happy and moved on… I don’t want my return to interfere with that.” He looks up at me.

“Your return has actually made me happy.” He admits. I look away. He gets up and walks over to me. He grabs my face, making me look at him.

“Greg, look. What we had is in the past.”

“It is. But?” I shake my head.

“No, we can’t do this.”

“We can’t do what? Talk about our feelings?”

“What about Janine?”

“Marí, tell me, do you still love me?” I looked up at him, stammering.

“w-why are you acting like this?” I finally got out. Greg shrugged.

“I don’t know. I want to suppress it, I really do, but it’s like when I’m around you. I forget all common sense and just want the old thing back.” I pulled away, taking the packet out of his hand.

“Greg, you could’ve stopped me seven years ago but chose not to.”

“If you wanted me to stop you, why did you leave then?” I let out a flustered groan, turning around and looking at him.

“I was scared, Greg!” I exclaimed, then quickly covered my mouth.

“Scared of what?” He further prods. I looked up at him and sighed.

“I was scared of the future. You knew all the answers and I didn’t. I was scared coming back to Anslem because there were things that I didn’t want to confront. When we decided to leave, I didn’t want to come back, and, honestly, I still don’t want to be here. But I am, and I don’t know what’s next.” I confessed, my eyes watering because this stupid ass nigga got me vulnerable again.

Greg places his thumb on my cheek, wiping the tears off.

“Then you should’ve said something, Marí. I would’ve been by your side. I love you.” Greg pauses and takes a step back as I look at him.

“Shit.” He says, realizing what’s going on.

“I should leave,” I muttered. I walk towards the door when he calls my name. I turn around.

“yes?”

“Do you love me too?” I take a deep breath, letting out a heavy sigh.

“I never stopped.” I turned around, leaving the classroom. I could see Greg’s students were on their way back from wherever they were and kept my head down. I did not want anyone else to see me cry. I hurried out of the school and into my car. Once I got in the car I placed my head on the steering wheel, letting out a scream because, WHY?! Why me?! Why Greg?!

Out of all the exes I could be hung up on, it has to be a man who’s in a happily committed relationship. I don’t want to be the downfall of their relationship. Karma is a bitch and I already have enough trauma in my life. I don’t need this shit. My phone rings, stopping me from crying. I look over and see it’s Alex calling me. I sniffled, wiping my tears, and picked up the call.

“Hello?”

“I want a new manager or have you back as my manager.” I groaned, starting my car.

“What’s wrong?”

“He cut my studio time in half for some Instagram hoe.” I rolled my eyes.

“Her name is Courtney, and why do you care so much?”

“Because this is my debut album.” I groaned, pulling out of my parking spot and speeding down the street.

“Alex, You sharing a studio session is not the end of the world. I promise we’ll still have your rollout ready. You just need to make sure Gravity is ready, too.” Alex kisses her teeth.

“They will be. Why you hatin’ on yo aunt.” I rolled my eyes.

“I ain’t. Look, I’m just being realistic. Star’s Sophomore album is in the works, and Noah’s comeback album is highly anticipated. Let’s not forget the Empire merger.” I remind her, pulling up to a red light. I could tell, she did not want to hear that, but it was the truth. That’s why I don’t want Courtney to sigh to Gravity. She would just fall to the waste side while they’re trying to keep their current artists happy.

It just isn’t a good idea, and besides, she needs to build a following for her music before she can even think about getting a label co-sign. Alex lets out a tired sigh.

“I—I know. It’s just when Carlotta suggested that I get managed by you, I was scared, but you quickly eased my nerves and kept the money flowing not just for me, but for Derek too. Have him speak at important Seminars. You made me feel secure about my future. Noah—”

“Noah is trying his best. It’s only been six months since I got the promotion. He’s doing his best. I wouldn’t give him my clients if I didn’t have faith in him. Now, give him a chance. You’re sounding like Star.” I could tell Alex scrunched her face because she and I both knew that wasn’t a compliment. Alex lets out a small chuckle as the light turns green.

“Alright, I’ll let him slide this time. But, Marí?” I hummed.

“Have you talked to Carlotta? I know the last time you saw her was at your mother’s funeral.” I sighed. Carlotta has reached out to me after my mother’s passing but I’ve been ducking those calls. Our last conversation was just— Very emotional and I need my space. As you can see, I don’t do well with emotional conversations. It’s not my strong suit, it never has. So, I have Three Aunts and two uncles on my mother’s side. Out of All of them, Carlotta is the only one who could make me emotionally express how I feel about my mother’s death and that was an intense conversation that I would like to keep between me, her, and God.

I just— it’s a lot.

“By your silence, I’m going to say no. Well, you should call her.” I sighed.

“I’ll get around to it. Look, I have a three-hour drive to Knoxville so I’ll call you when I’m free.” Alex hums.

“Aight, Love you Marí.”

“Love you too.” I hang up the call. I toss my phone into my passenger seat. It lights up. I look over and see it’s an Instagram message. I grabbed my phone and placed it on my lap. I was coming up to the next red light. Once, I pulled up and looked down at my phone, tapping my phone screen. It was a new message. I opened the notification, and I saw the message my heart sank.

“When you’re ready, I’ll be right here.” Attached is a YouTube Video of 112’s Right Here for U.

When this song came out, He sang it to me all the time, in 6th grade. Whenever I was sad or scared. He could not sing, but the gesture was always nice. The last time he performed this song, We were in college and had that dusty apartment. I was sad because life was lifing, and he did a full-out performance for me.

He always knew how to make me happy. I tossed the phone back in the passenger seat. I looked up to see a green light. I sigh to myself. Although the message warmed my heart, I’ll never know when I’ll be ready for him, and I don’t want him to wait.

[monsta-x-jagi]

Crown and Chrome - Chapter 5

Synopsis: You finally find out why Kihyun left you

Word count: 5k

Triggers: none

Author’s Note: I am sorry I had to make Jongho the villain

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

The Past 

As your university semester drew nearer, the number of worries you had about the future began escalating. Kihyun could see it on your face every time you grew quiet and turned your gaze downward as if you literally didn’t want to see what was lying ahead of you.

Today, Kihyun had taken you shopping at your favourite mall. This mall included a number of high end stores, and with you being you, it was a given that you would always be more comfortable spending money than Kihyun, so you usually didn't ask him to accompany you. Hence why today, you were surprised when Kihyun called in the morning and told you to get ready to go shopping.

So now here you were, trying on what’s probably the 6th dress in the newest release of designs while Kihyun sat on a couch and waited for you to show your outfit. Kihyun liked to think he had the patience of a saint, but he had come here with a plan today. There was a store he wanted to take you to and he wanted to get there before the end of the day. 

Finally, you came out of the dressing room with all the outfits you tried. “I don’t know which one I should get,” you said with a frown.

Kihyun chuckled and shook his head. “I know even if you don’t buy it today, you’re going to go home and order it, or just wait until next weekend to come here again. Just buy all of it.” 

Satisfied with his response, you paid for all your items and asked the store to deliver them to your house since the bags would never fit on Kihyun’s bike. Then you left the store with Kihyun, holding his arm as he steered you to the store he had in mind. 

“You know, when I get my first car, we’ll finally be able to bring our shopping home,” you mused. 

Kihyun tapped your nose. “I think you mean your shopping, princess. Anyway, we’re here.” 

Kihyun took you into a high end jewellery store, heading straight for the counter. This was unlike him, he didn’t wear a lot of jewellery. Kihyun walked up to the very tall young man at the counter and explained he was there to pick up an order. 

The man looked up, flicked his gaze between Kihyun and you, and his features contorted to shock when he saw you. “Miss y/n, is that you? It’s been a long time!” 

Kihyun looked at you confused. You laughed and patted his arm before replying to the man, “Yeah it has been, Yunho, I didn’t have any events the last few months.”

“So I take it the order is for you then?” Yunho asked looking between you and Kihyun. 

Kihyun cast a desperate look at Yunho. You were not meant to know about this until next weekend when you leave for university. 

But to your credit, you laughed it off and told Yunho, “No, it’s my boyfriend’s order.” You leaned your head down on Kihyun’s shoulder and smiled brightly. 

Yunho’s lips curled into a teasing smile. “Boyfriend huh? Cute, very cute.” Yunho spoke while shuffling behind the counter to grab Kihyun’s order. “Does your family know yet?” 

Kihyun felt your grip on his arm tighten. He didn’t need to look at you to know your jaw was tensed as you spoke. “Uhh no, they haven’t met.” 

Yunho slid a small bag across the counter with a sad smile. “Perhaps it’s for the best, eh?” 

“Well I mean, didn’t your parents accept your decisions finally?” You offered weakly. 

“Oh y/n,” Yunho said. “I chose to become a jewellery designer instead of a doctor. Being around diamonds and being with a diamond in the rough are two very different things.” 

Later that night, as you and Kihyun were lying in bed at his house, Kihyun continued thinking about what Yunho said. He stared at the ceiling, one hand behind his head and the other drawing patterns on your back while you lay your head on his chest. Speaking more to the room than you, he asked, “Are you happy with me, y/n?” 

You lifted your face up from his chest and answered quickly with no hesitation. “Of course I am. Why would I not be?” You furrowed your brows as you scanned his face. “Where is this coming from, baby?” 

“Nothing,” Kihyun mumbled without meeting your eyes. 

You drew yourself up onto your elbows and crawled up higher so you and Kihyun could be face to face. “Does my family bother you?”

“What? No,” Kihyun replied. 

You smiled softly down at him as you brushed some hair off his forehead. “You’re not very convincing… but tell me this. Have you ever seen my parents in the house? Have you ever seen me interact with either of them?”

“No…” Kihyun answered slowly. 

“Exactly. They don’t pay that much attention to me. But you on the other hand,” you paused to kiss his forehead, “give me all the attention I want, and I couldn’t be happier.” 

Kihyun smiled and picked up your hand from his hair to kiss it and held it above his heart. He then said, “I am glad you feel that way y/n. I want to be able to make you happy. Every single day.”  

“And you do. You make sure I eat, you reassure me when I am studying and can’t understand something. Plus you always turn up for all the boring errands I have to run. I don’t think there’s much else I could ask for,” you said while your fingers drummed against his chest soothingly.

You scooted back down to lie on his chest and continued your explanation. “Above all else, you make me feel protected.”

“Um princess, just because I am a biker, doesn’t mean I fight like one,” Kihyun replied. 

You smacked his chest lightly. “You know that’s not what I mean. Besides, wasn’t it you who said I have absolutely no regard for my physical safety?” 

“Babe, I think everyone who has ever met you would say the same,” Kihyun teased. 

“Yeah ok fine.” You rolled your eyes. “But what I meant is that I feel like nothing bad could happen to me when I'm with you. And if something has gone wrong, being with you just makes everything better. It’s like you keep me away from all the bad things in my life.” 

Kihyun ran his fingers through your hair while he worked through his thoughts out loud. “I don’t think I deserve praise like that. I don’t even know if I deserve to be with you.” 

You buried your face into the crook of his neck. “Don’t say that. I don’t need you to give me everything in life. I just need you to keep loving me.”

The Present

Minhyuk, San and Wooyoung were all seated on the couches in the CEO’s office now. So far, you had explained all the good things that ever happened with Kihyun. 

“So he was your first love then?” Minhyuk asked. 

“More like her only love,” Wooyoung retorted. 

“No, she actually had a pretty good run with Jongho. Her mother even started telling her to invite him on vacations,” Minhyuk explained.

Wooyoung rubbed his hands together. “Man that dinner with the navy is going to be good. Kihyun and Jongho going toe to toe…” 

San smacked Wooyoung’s shoulder. “Bro she’s still your CEO, don’t say shit like that.”

Minhyuk ignored the two and asked you, “So how did you and Kihyun end things? We know it wasn’t on good terms but what happened?” 

“He left me. Simple as,” you replied with a shrug. 

“Left you? What, were you two married or something?” Wooyoung asked giggling. 

“No, he just stopped talking to me one day,” you replied. 

“Damn. That is cold. And low,” San said. 

“No wonder you can’t even look at him during our meetings now,” Wooyoung said. 

Minhyuk nodded along and added, “Glad someone else noticed.” 

Everyone was quiet for a minute, until San said, “You should wear your sapphire earrings tonight and mess with his head, especially after what Wooyoung pulled in the elevator.”

The other two men turned to you for an explanation.

The Past

The night before your first classes, you and Kihyun were at his loft, spooning on his bed. 

“I can’t take you to your first class tomorrow morning, but I know you’re going to do fine,” Kihyun said. 

“I hope you’re right. But hey at least I studied over the holidays right?” You said.

Kihyun placed a couple kisses along your shoulder. “Honey, you know you didn’t have to do that. At this rate, you’re going to be able to write your exam with your eyes closed.”

You turned around in his arms to face him. Kihyun’s gentle, content smile faded when you pouted and asked, “What if you forget me while I am gone?” 

Kihyun tucked a piece of your hair behind your ear. “Princess, why would you think that?”

“Because you’ll keep working and racing, but I am going to study. You’re going to live your life independently, while I intern at my parents’ company,” you replied. 

“But there's nothing bad with that, is there?” Kihyun asked. “You know you can come to my warehouse any time, except…”

“Except when I have class, I know,” you sighed. 

Kihyun chuckled and continued. “If I am free, I can take you to class, or pick you up after? We can still do everything we’ve done all summer.” 

“Yeah, you’re right,” you said a little dejectedly and nuzzled your face into Kihyun’s chest.

Kihyun ran his fingers through your hair. “Don’t fall asleep baby. I still need to take you home.”

You whined and wriggled in his hold. “Can’t we just stay like this?” 

“Alright. Just a little longer then, my love,” Kihyun said and pulled you in tighter. 

When Kihyun did take you home, the time you spent saying goodbye outside your house was longer than the ride there. You were sitting sideways on his parked motorbike as he braced his hands on either side of your hips. You looped your hands around his shoulders, content to just stare at his beautiful face. 

“I can see your roots now,” you giggled when you saw the streetlight fall on Kihyun’s hair. 

“Mmm, remember that time you tried to dye it for me and got Cheeto fingers?” Kihyun grinned. 

“I can’t believe you wanted a photo of me like that,” you said, smiling while looking down at your feet.

Kihyun placed his hands on your waist and said, “Hop down for me.” Once you did, he reached behind you to open the under-seat compartment of his motorcycle and took out a photo album. “This is for you.” 

Curious, you took the album and started flicking through it. Pictures of you filled the pages, including the one of you with Cheeto fingers. Eventually the pages turned blank. 

As if reading your mind, Kihyun said, “I left that section blank so you could add your favourite photos. Do you like it?”

 “Kihyun… this is…” you gasped, struggling with your words. “Just… come here.” 

You hooked your hand behind his neck and pulled his lips down to yours. As you sucked on his lower lip, he pushed his hips toward yours to hold you against his motorcycle. He leaned down further into the kiss, causing you to momentarily lose your footing. Your little surprised squeak was lost within the kiss as Kihyun entered his tongue into your mouth and made slow movements along the inside of your lips while you arched your back and practically clung to his shoulders.

When you both broke apart, breathless with puffy lips, Kihyun traced your cheekbone and the shell of your ear with his hand, his thumb finally reaching the little pearl earrings you were wearing.

“Pretty,” he breathed as he played with them. “There’s something for you at the end of the album.”

You opened the album again, leaning it against Kihyun’s chest while you flicked to the back. There was a thick envelope attached. Opening it, you found a pair of earrings with teardrop shaped blue stones. 

“Will you put them on for me princess?” Kihyun asked as he tried to peer down at your face to gauge your reaction.

You nodded, and pulled out the little card the earrings were attached to.

“Can I take these off you?” Kihyun asked as he lifted his fingers to your pearl earrings.

“Okay.”

Kihyun gently pulled the clasp off each, and tucked the earring into his palm before fitting your new ones on you. When he was done, he scanned your face, admiring your new look. “You look amazing, just like always.”

When Kihyun took your hand to place your old earrings in them, you stopped him. “Keep it. Get Yunho to make them into cufflinks or something.”

The Present

As you got ready for the dinner, you thought over San’s suggestion. Eventually, you gave in and removed your diamond hoops to slide on Kihyun’s sapphire drop earrings before driving your car to the restaurant. The other executives were already waiting at the restaurant for you when you arrived. 

Minhyuk waved you over once he saw you. “Miss y/n, you changed your earrings,” he said with a coy smile. 

You smiled at the ground and nodded. Leave it to Minhyuk to cause just the right amount of chaos.

“Whoever picked them had a good eye eh?” Minhyuk said, glancing at Kihyun.

Kihyun’s eyes locked with yours at that moment, both of you searching each other’s faces for a reaction that neither of you were willing to give. Kihyun looked away first, and played with the cufflinks of his suit jacket.

“Shall we go in then, Miss y/n?” Kihyun asked and you nodded.

Kihyun walked beside you, looking straight ahead as he led you and the other executives through to the restaurant.. It was the closest you’d stood to him in a long time, so you took the opportunity to give him a sidelong glance and take in his features. Simply put, you were staring, until you eventually got lost in his beauty. 

“You look good, y/n.” Kihyun whispered, more to himself than you.

“Hmm what huh?” You blinked, your reverie disrupted when you saw Kihyun speak but didn’t quite catch his words.  

Kihyun turned, scanned your face for a few seconds, then smiled. “Nothing. Don’t worry about it.”

He pushed open the door to a private room at the restaurant where the navy officers were already waiting, seated at the table. You immediately recognised Jongho but found another familiar face beside him. 

“I.M.?” You gasped to yourself. 

Changkyun stood up and walked around the table to you. “Yes noona, it’s me. Technically, it’s Commodore Im now, but you can call me Changkyun. IM was just my racing name.”

“I had no idea you went into the navy! And you’re an officer now? That’s amazing,” you gushed, happy to see a familiar face. 

Behind you, Hoseok said to Kihyun, “Looks like your friend is hers now. She really does know everyone who is a someone.”

Kihyun clenched his jaw, but nodded. It’s not like he was worried Changkyun was flirting with you, but the fact that you were gushing over someone from your racing past while acting like you didn’t even remember Kihyun when he first saw you, was irking him off. He walked up to you and Changkyun and touched your arm to get your attention. 

Noticing Kihyun’s hand on your arm, Changkyun said, “Hyung, I didn’t know you got back together with noona.”

Instead of saying what he needed to, you and Kihyun sprang apart with his hand jolting off your arm. You knew Jongho at the table saw that. As did the rest of your executive team. You cleared your throat and spoke first, trying to reduce the awkward tension. “We’re not. He’s my investment director.”

“And she’s here on business today. Call her Miss y/n,” Kihyun told Changkyun, his voice growing steadily colder as he held Changkyun’s gaze. 

You left Kihyun and Chankgyun to stare down at each other, moved toward the table and pulled out the chair at the middle to sit down. Your executive team followed suit and filled in the spaces beside you. Once they were comfortable, you turned to Minhyuk on your right. “Can you get things started?”

So Minhyuk opened a portfolio and took the navy officers through the architecture department’s designs. Hoseok stepped in each time a question was asked so Minhyuk wouldn’t have to lose his train of thought. The cost related questions were always directed to Kihyun. Hyunwoo and you sat observing it all. Finally, Minhyuk closed his portfolio and looked to you. It was your turn to grill the officers. 

And usually, you would go about this in a calm, professional manner, but today, that was proving to be difficult.

“In order to proceed, my firm will need confirmation on by the end of the week,” you stated.

“And you’ll get it,” Jongho said without looking up from his notepad. You noted his insignia was that of a lieutenant.

You pursed your lips. “That didn’t sound reassuring,” you accidentally muttered out loud.

Thankfully (or not), Kihyun heard you and told Jongho, “MX can scrap the tender if we don’t receive confirmation.”

Jongho scoffed and pointed at you with his pen. “No you won’t. That one could never pass up a good deal.” 

Your executives could sense the tension. Hyunwoo’s jaw was clenched, Kihyun’s eyes were narrowed and Hoseok was rubbing his knuckles together. Beside you, Minhyuk scrawled something on a sticky note and slid it over to you: stay calm, we’ll handle it. You looked between your executive team and nodded. 

“MX has always made the most of resources its been given. Surely you can’t blame us for that,” Hyunwoo began, diplomatically.

“If you’re such a successful company, why would you need a government contract?” Another officer asked. His insignia said he was a commander.

You knew that question was intended for you as the CEO. The answer was simple: profit. But what’s a tactful way to say “military contracts pay big bucks?”

You opened your mouth to speak but Minhyuk tapped your wrist. Wait, he was silently telling you.

Just then, Hoseok stepped in. “MX is looking to expand the range of projects it takes on. Our portfolio is currently very heavy on commercial property.”

“Think of it as a defensive portfolio,” Minhyuk added, ever the mood-maker.

Kihyun rolled his eyes at the pun. Changkyun watched as you stifled a giggle and smirked, looking between you and Kihyun. 

He then leaned down the table and asked, “Commander, is your question satisfied?”

“Yes, Commodore,” the lower ranked commander responded.

“Any more questions?”

“Yes, actually,” Jongho said, licking his lips as he spoke. “How does our y/n plan to handle any personal conflicts of interest during this project?” 

“Excuse me?” Kihyun hissed, cocking his head. Minhyuk and Hoseok exchanged a worried glance.

You exhaled sharply through your nose and asked. “Is there a conflict of interest you’d like to expand on, Lieutenant? Or perhaps the Commodore?” You asked, looking between Jongho and his superior, Changkyun. 

“I see no conflicts,” Changkyun shrugged. 

“Commodore, are you aware the CEO of this firm has had two personal relationships with people on this table?” Jongho asked. 

Now Changkyun looked confused. Two? Changkyun only knew of Kihyun.

Hyunwoo cleared his throat, hoping to be the peacemaker. “Miss y/n has many close relationships with industry figures. Its simply a byproduct of her schooling.”

“Oh y/n, how many men did you go through?” Jongho shook his head and cackled to himself. 

“Lieutenant,” Changkyun warned. “This matter is not relevant.” He bowed his head to you. “I deeply apologise, Miss y/n.”

You heard the slamming of papers beside you from Kihyun. He was seething. “If there is anyone here that cannot handle past personal relationships, its you. This whole meeting, you have not once addressed Miss y/n properly. Instead, you demean her for a series of personal, non-business related, and need I say harmless, choices from her past. I think it’s very clear that this contract…”

“Yoo Kihyun,” you warned, getting him to stop his tirade before he said something you knew your company would regret.

“Oh this is hilarious. Y/n finally found the man who would protect her. Is that why you hired him? And not just him but that blondie too, passing you notes like it’s 4th grade?” Jongho mocked. 

“Mmmm, alright, I see how it is,” you rolled your eyes and drawled. 

Hoseok nudged Minhyuk almost excitedly. They knew this voice was reserved for when you were going to tear someone apart.

So you loosened a breath and began. ”Alright, Jongho, let’s talk about my personal relationships. If you and I ever had a meaningful personal relationship, then you would know that I draw the line with you insulting my staff. My architecture heads can cover projects in every single architectural discipline. My head engineer has had recruiters seek him out internationally. And my head of investments, the one you say I have a personal relationship with, has handled deals totalling more than this entire state’s military budget. But since you didn’t know any of that, it looks like we never had a meaningful personal relationship.”

Minhyuk smiled openly and proudly while watching you. Kihyun snickered behind his hand.

Taking a breath, you delivered the final blow. “Now Jongho, let me show you what a personal relationship looks like.” You faced Changkyun, and said in a sickly sweet voice, “Changkyunnie, will you do your noona a favour and get her ex-boyfriend to leave?”

Even the calm Hyunwoo’s jaw dropped open when he heard that. Several officers’ eyes widened too. 

Changkyun held you gaze, smirking proudly while he spoke. “Lieutenant, you’re dismissed.” 

The meeting wrapped up quickly after that. Chankgyun apologised several more times for his lieutenant’s behaviour and the remaining officers didn’t even make eye contact with you. Minhyuk would say that’s equal parts because of your speech and because of Kihyun glaring at anyone who looks your way. At the end of the meeting, Changkyun agreed to review your tender and forward you the contract to look over and sign if you still wished to proceed.

Outside the restaurant, the executives all headed to their own cars, making small talk as they went. 

“What’s everyone’s weekend plans?” Hyunwoo asked while stretching his arms in the parking lot. 

“My son’s visiting,” Hoseok replied. “His wife is pregnant now actually.”

You gasped excitedly. “Hoseok, that’s wonderful to hear. Let me know when to send something for the baby shower okay?”

Minhyuk laughed at that. “Look at you y/n, living vicariously through us. If you just want to buy small cute things, say that.”

“You know…” Hoseok began with a glint in his eye. “Y/n might not need to live vicariously anymore. I think she has someone, eh?” 

“What? No, no, it’s not like that,” you laughed, a little awkwardly since you weren’t sure who the someone Hoseok was referring to was. To move things along, you prompted the others to share their weekend plans as well.

“I'll just work on my bike probably,” Kihyun said with a shrug.

“Bike? Did you know y/n is into that as well? She has a whole garage actually,” Hyunwoo said. 

Kihyun’s interest piqued at that. Since when did you have your own garage? You never did any work on bikes back when you were 20. When did you start? 

“Well I am just going to sleep. Maybe get lunch with Hyungwon,” Minhyuk added, while rummaging for his keys. By now, all five of you had reached your vehicles, all of which were parked close to each other. 

“Sounds fun,” you said with a nod as you watched Minhyuk get into his horrendously yellow car that matched his sunshine personality. 

Hoseok did the same, moving to his black Range Rover. As he unlocked the door, he turned round and said, “I almost forgot y/n. Enjoy your date this weekend.” 

“Uh sorry, date?”

“Ah so it’s still the early stages then? That’s okay, you two will make a cute couple,” Hoseok said, while getting comfortable in his car. 

Hyunwoo, who never kept up with the gossip, looked at you incredulously. “Oh have you met someone recently? What’s he like?” 

“Didn’t you know? It’s Wooyoung from investments. You know, that boy that’s always hanging out with San,” Hoseok explained to Hyunwoo while he started his engine.

“Ahhh, I see, so you finally allowed San to set you up with someone. I’m sure he’s a very handsome fella then, just like San,” Hyunwoo replied as he too got into his car. 

You didn’t get a chance to explain before both Hoseok and Hyunwoo closed their car doors, waved goodbye and drove away. 

This left you and Kihyun in the parking lot. 

Kihyun cleared his throat, and approached a motorbike that had been hidden behind the cars earlier. As Kihyun was putting on his helmet, he said, “I’ll get going then, y/n. See you…” 

“I am not dating Wooyoung,” you blurted out, cutting off Kihyun. 

Kihyun paused. So then what had he seen on the elevator during lunch? Kihyun swallowed and tried to speak tactfully. “I see. It’s okay. If this is about what Jongho said during dinner, don't worry, nobody is mad at you.” 

You looked down at you feet to collect you thoughts before speaking. “I didn’t quite mean it like that but… oh well, doesn't matter.” 

“Yes it does. I wish it went smoothly today. Then you wouldn’t have to be humiliated by Jongho like that,” Kihyun said with an edge to his voice. “I should have looked into it more when you said he was in the military.”

“Aww Ki, it’s not your fault,” you said gently, taking a step closer to him. Kihyun almost second guessed it when he heard the cute nickname, but you didn't seem to have noticed what you said as you continued speaking. “I am still grateful you had a contact.” 

Kihyun chuckled softly. “Well, I think my so-called contact liked you more than he liked me.” 

“True. I never thought your contact would be someone I’d recognise. Plus, we got lucky that Changkyun is a commodore,” you mused.

“Yeah he joined the navy sometime around when I sold the warehouse,” Kihyun added as he leaned against his bike, content to continue what was probably the longest conversation you two had shared so far.  

You cocked your head, processing his words. “Wait, sold the warehouse? When was that?” 

Kihyun’s eyes widened realising his mistake. “Uhh what I meant is I sold a warehouse, but it wasn’t mine.” 

He pushed off his bike and stood up straighter while you made quick strides to him and closed the distance between you two. He didn’t make an attempt to move away from you. You stood so close you could could’ve caged him with you arms if they weren’t occupied by your bag.

He studied your face as you looked up at him with your brows scrunched. Kihyun wasn’t sure what you were about to do, and he was shocked by how cold your voice was when you spoke., “But you did sell your warehouse. The one we always met in.” 

Kihyun didn’t reply. Neither could he meet your gaze at that.

You gave a mirthless chuckle and continued. “Did you honestly think I wouldn’t find out? It took one day, one fucking day and a report my colleague handed me to find out what happened. To find out exactly who you sold that warehouse to.”

You were angry. You were hurt. Kihyun could see the tears pooling in your eyes and how you were clenching your fists. “Y/n, it’s not what you think,” he began. 

You stepped even closer to him, chests almost brushing. “I am not an idiot Kihyun. That warehouse was private property, your property, and MX acquired it. My firm. You’ve seen me study property law so you know I know what that means.” 

You started accentuating words with your fist so Kihyun clasped both of your clenched hands gently and brought them to his chest. “Y/n, baby, I was just trying to protect you.” 

“What were you trying to do? Make me chase you by leaving the rights to that entire plot of land under my mother’s company? Was it to stake some claim so you could come crawling back one day?” 

“Please, y/n, it’s not like that,” Kihyun said, biting his lip and looking down. 

“Do you honestly expect me to believe that?” Your voice became lower, punctuated with angry hisses. “You fucking sold your warehouse to my mother’s company, and disappeared without another word to me, asshole.” 

“You’re right, princess, and you have every right to be mad at me,” Kihyun moved your closed fists to one hand and reached out to cup your face with his other hand, but you stopped him.

You loosened one of your hands from his grasp to grab his wrist and push his hand away from your face. “You don’t get to call me princess, not after what you did.” 

“Baby, please believe me, it was the only way I could protect you,” Kihyun pleaded. He still kept one of your hands on his chest, while you brought his hand down to his side and lightly linked your fingers together. 

In a more measured voice than earlier, you said, “Do you know what it was like to walk into that warehouse and find it empty? Do you know how it felt when the first project they gave me at MX was to redevelop your warehouse like it meant nothing to me?”

“Y/n, I am sorry. For everything,” he said.

[gremlin-bot]

Hope of Future Flight

AO3 link: Here @dpxdcshipweek

Dick has been defying gravity his entire life. Acrobatic flips and controlled fall, ripping through his body with grace and power that very few have. He loved every second of his imitation of flight. He loves having partners that could fly with him even more.

Koriand'r was wonderful and one of the best people Dick had the pleasure of meeting. He doesn't regret his relationship with her, just wishes her the best. He does miss the flights with her, though.

Dick loves being one of Gotham's birds. He takes pride in being able to handle the city's worst, but even the big bad bat can get distracted and startled. His reminiscing on past relationships certainly did not help him tonight, as he took a slight fall off a 10 story building at the sight of a man with giant wings sitting on top of said building. Lucky for him the man has good reflexes and wings strong enough to hold them both in air.

"That was a close one, you good?" The man asks as he sets Dick down in the center of the roof.

"Uhh yeah." Dick was mesmerized by the man's wings. They were strong and a gorgeous gradient of brown with bits of white feathers popping in the middle of the wings. They look like the wings of a Black Kite, which is strange. That species of birds lives in a vastly different part of the world than Gotham, New Jersey.

"So, do you fall off buildings often or just for special occasions?" The man smirks and Dick can feel himself flush.

"Usually when I fall it's on purpose, but I wasn't expecting anyone to be up here. Accidents happen, you know." God, Dick was being a distracted fool. A fool that got the winged guy to laugh. Dick's smile grows at the light sound.

"I'm Dash, you must be one of Gotham's bats or birds." The man- Dash offers his hand. His wings shift on his back, a nervous gesture of sorts.

"Yep. Nightwing, a bird by name, unlike you it seems." Dick takes the other's hand, only slightly surprised by the grip strength Dash displays.

"You got me there. It's a side-effect from my hometown. I'm hoping that Batman doesn't really mind. I'm trying to transfer to Gotham U this fall." He looks like a puppy dog waiting for his favorite person to come home. Dick might be a goner if Dash actually gets to see him again. 

"I can talk to him for you. If you get accepted, of course. I'm sure we can all work something out." 

"That'll be great, man! I'm supposed to attend a campus tour tomorrow, so here's hoping." Dash looked a bit more relaxed than before. Hopefully Dick can get Tim to gather enough information on him and possibly his hometown to satisfy B. He has a good few months before the fall semester starts. He'll be good, Tim works fast and likes a challenge.

"I'm curious, what program are you trying for?" 

"Nursing, pediatrics if I can but I'll get there when I get there." Dash shrugged, his wings adjusting with the movement.

"Oh, that's-" Dick was cut off by his com buzzing to life. 

"Nightwing, quit your pitiful flirting. Penguin is on the move." Damien hissed. Dick may have forgotten that Robin was on patrol with him tonight.

"On my way, Robin." Dick finds the small notebook he keeps in his suit and scribbles out the number he uses for his nightly activities. "Sorry to cut this short, but here, a way to contact me. Tell me if you get accepted, handsome." 

Dash takes the offered paper, an amused smile on his face as he walks to the edge of the roof. "Thanks. Have a safe patrol, Nightwing. Don't keep Robin waiting." Dash steps back and falls.

Dick's heart stops at the sight, only to restart as he sees Dash soar into the air and out of sight. He was enraptured once again by the man with wings. Too bad Damien won't let him stay there any longer.

"Nightwing, what is your ETA?" Damien huffs over com, clearly tired of his oldest brother's antics.

"Sorry, little Bat. Be there in 5." It's Dick turn to fly now. He hopes that Dash can see.

[orangeinecstasy]

creative writing ࿐ ࿔*:･ﾟelijah hewson

paring: eli x fem!oc

summary: meeting eli in s creative writing class.

a/n: wanted to experiment with writing something from the guy's povs so here we go! lmk if you guys would want a part two for this or maybe other stuff from the guy's povs.

wc: 3.8 k

*reblogs, notes, and feedback are greatly appreciated!!

"What do you have for your last class again?" Robert said, leaning against the lockers as I shut my own. I look down at my schedule, eyes scanning it.

"Uhh, creative writing with Mr. Smith," I push a hand through my hair, a nervous habit I had picked up in the past few months.

"Good luck with that one, lad. I heard he's a real dick," he patted my shoulder gently as we made our way down the crowded hall. Sighing, I glance down at my schedule again, trying to pretend I was happy with my class pick.

"I just need this year to be fucking over so that I don't have to worry about this shit anymore," I shove my schedule into one of my notebooks, hoping that it'll magically change as it's pressed between my physics notes. I glance down at my watch. "Shit, I'm going to be late. I'll see you a practice today," I said before spilling off from Robert.

"Good luck!" He yells as I sprint down the hallway, entering the class just before the bell rings.

"Good timing, Mr. Hewson," Mr. Smith, a man in his late forties wearing a tweed blazer and glasses that are slightly too small for his face, says as he stands behind the podium in the middle of the room. I flash him an awkward smile before looking around the room and finding an empty seat next to the windows overlooking the courtyard. 

The bell rang, signaling the start of class. Mr. Smith cleared his throat as he straightened his posture. "Good afternoon, everyone. As most of you know, I'm Mr. Smith. Welcome to your senior writing sem-" His words were cut off by a knock at the door. He looked over, slightly annoyed to be interrupted to see the headmaster with a girl my age, with brown curly hair and the same blue uniform that all the other girls wore, standing next to him.

"Sorry to interrupt, Mr. Smith. This is Clara Anderson. She's new to our school," He said, resting his hand on her shoulder, I'm guessing to comfort her. "That's fine," he said, looking over his glasses at her. "You can sit next to Elijah Hewson. Mr. Hewson, please raise your hand," I did as told, my eye's following her as she sat down next to me.

"Hi," she whispered with a small smile, the American accent surprising me slightly. "Hey," I said, returning the smile as Mr. Smith started rambling again.

I look out the window, mindlessly watching the rain fall as I sit in Mr. Smith's class again. We had been in school for a few months, and the class hadn't become more enjoyable. The only thing that made the class even somewhat bearable was Clara. Though we didn't talk a ton, it was nice when we chatted occasionally.

I discovered that her parents had moved here from America because her Dad did something with international relations, and she had a younger brother named Jonah. We talked about music some, and I told her about the band that I was in. Yeah, I was trying to impress her, but who wouldn't when you're talking to a beautiful girl. I was snapped out of my daydreaming by hearing my name being called.

"Huh, yeah?" I said, eyes quickly flashing from the window to Mr. Smith. 

"Are you ready to present your poetry assignment?" he said clearly unamused, eyebrow cocked as he and the rest of the room looked over at me. 

"Uhh..." I stammered, knowing that I had totally forgotten about the assignment. 

"Do you mind if I present Mr. Smith?" Clara said, in the mists of unpreparedness. 

He rolled his eyes. "If you must," He said, moving away from the podium so she could present. 

She grabbed her notebook and walked to the podium. Her curls fell over her shoulder as she flipped her notebook open, hands gripping it nervously. "This one is called Summer," she quickly pushed her hair behind her shoulder before starting to read. 

Everyone always told me that summer love never lasts

But my heart yearned

It craved that feeling

So I didn't listen

Then I met you

Bright smile, blond hair, eyes that crinkled when you laugh

So I gave in

But now

As the weather grows colder

Blossoming falling

Leaves changing 

I can feel your hands grow cold as I grip them tighter 

Trying to hold onto something 

Trying to hold onto you

But then you pulled away 

Leaving me surrounded by the falling leaves 

As I wished that I could just go back to that summer

She paused for a moment after reading her pome before shutting her notebook. "Thank you," she smiled gently, the class clapping loudly as she returned to her seat beside me.

"You really saved my ass. Thank you," I whispered, leaning over so she could hear me clearly. "Yeah, it's no problem," she smiled, her cheeks pricking with a slight blush. I nod, smiling. 

The bell chimed, causing everyone to gather their stuff and leave the classroom, excited to go home and experience the weekend. "Hey, Clara!" I yelled, causing the girl to stop in the middle of the hallway.

"Yeah?" she said as I caught up, fingers running through my hair. "Are you doing anything tonight?" I asked.

"Hmm, I don't think so. Why?" she asked as we stared down the hallway together.

"Well, you know that band I'm in? We're playing a show at one of my friend's parties, and I was wondering if you wanted to come?" I said, messing. With the rings of one of the notebooks I was carrying.

"Yeah, I'd be down," she smiled, nodding. "Here, just text me the details," she grabbed the pen clipped to one of her notebooks, grabbed my hand, and wrote down her number.

"I'll see ya tonight," she said with a slight wave before walking off.

"Yeah, see you then," I said quickly before staring down at my hand where she had written. 

"Eli, you haven't stopped checking your phone for the last thirty minutes. So what is going on?" Rob said as he sat on the couch next to me.

"Sorry, I guess I'm just kind of out of it," I shove my phone back into my pocket, leaning into the plush leather couch.

"It's probably that American girl, Clara, or whatever her name is," Ryan said as he walked into the room, cracking open a can of soda.

"Oooh, do you have a thing for her now or something?" Rob said with a smirk, nudging me with his elbow. My hands ran over my face, causing the sigh that escaped through my lips to be slightly muffled.

"I don't know. She might be coming to the show tonight, but she hasn't texted me back, and I'm just ugh," I huff, rubbing my hands on my jeans.

"I'm sure she's just busy. I wouldn't worry about it," Josh said as he kicked his feet up on the coffee table. He was always so positive, and usually, it was nice, but this time it was slightly annoying.

"Yeah, yeah," I said before feeling my phone vibrate in my pocket. Quickly, I pull my phone out of my pocket, and a text notification from Clara appears on my screen. 

Thanks! Can't wait to see you play tonight. Tell the guys good luck for me :)

I smiled down at my phone as my fingers moved across the keys, responding with a simple, Will do

"Was that her?" Robert said, leaning over to look at my phone. I nod, a bright smile on my face. "She's coming, lads. We need to perform better than we ever have." The guys cheered, Ryan and Josh crashing their soda cans together in celebration. 

The music from the speakers caused the floor underneath me to vibrate as I pushed through the crowd to get to the drinks. As I made my way over, I saw Clara, out of that familiar blue uniform and instead in blue jeans and a white off-the-shoulder top that exposed her collarbones.

"Hey, Clara," I said as I pulled a Heineken from one of the coolers. "Hey!" she smiled, using a bottle opener to remove the cap. "Enjoying the party?" I said, reaching into the cooler to grab my own beer, the cool green bottle pressing against my skin. She shrugs,

"Yeah, I'm here with some friends, so that's nice." She sips her drink. "When do you go on?" she hands me the bottle cap opener. "In a couple of minutes. I'm kind of nervous," I chuckle weakly, opening my beer and taking a swig. She touched my shoulder gently, that beautiful smile still on her lips.

"You're going to do great," she said before looking past me momentarily. "Shit, my friends are calling me. I promise I'll be watching. Good luck," she squeezes my shoulder, kissing my cheek softly before walking back into the crowd. I turned to watch her as she walked away, my heart skipping a beat as my hand reached up to touch my cheek. 

I shake my head slightly, pushing through the crowd again to find the lads. "Eli, there you are. Fuck. We're on in two minutes," Ryan said, fiddling with the drumsticks.

"Sorry, I was just getting a drink," I hold up the Heineken, taking a long swig before setting it down on some random table. I wipe the sweat from the bottle on my jeans before slipping my guitar strap over my shoulders.

"Hey guys, you ready?" Jack, our friend hosting the party, said. "Yep," I said, grabbing a guitar pick from my pocket. 

Jack steps onto the makeshift stage, tapping the mike gently to see if it was turned on. "Hey everyone, how are we feeling tonight?" The crowd cheered in response, some people lifting their drinks into the air. "That's what I'm talking about! Now, I'd like to introduce you to my good friends. Please give a big round of applause for Inhaler!" He steps away from the mike, clapping as the lads and I walk on stage.

"Thanks, Jack," I say, plugging the amp into my guitar. "Hey guys, we're Inhaler. This song is called I Want You. Hope you enjoy," I strum the guitar, ensuring it is still in tune before looking over at Robert and Josh, both nodding that they're ready. I take a deep breath, looking out into the crowd and seeing Clara beautiful as ever. She gives me a small wave and a smile that I return before starting the set. 

Once our set was finished, the crowd erupted in cheers. "Thanks, everybody. Enjoy the rest of the party," I unplug the amp from my guitar, giving the crowd a small wave before leaving the stage. "That was fucking amazing! They loved us!" Robert said, wrapping his arm around Josh's shoulder, a goofy grin on his face.

"Yeah, great job, guys," I smile, setting my guitar back into its case. My hands push through my hair as my eyes scan the crowd, quickly finding Clara. "I'll catch up with you guys later," I move past Rob and into the crowd.

"You were fucking amazing!" Clara yelled over the music. "Thanks! I'm going out for a smoke. Want to come?" I leaned down, hoping it would allow her to hear me clearly. She nods. "Yeah, sure!" I take her hand, allowing us to wave through people so as not to get separated.

I take a deep breath as we set out into the night's cool air, the deck empty as I lean against its railing, quickly lighting a cigarette. "She's so beautiful," Clara said, looking at the sky. The bright moon cast light onto her skin, giving it a soft glow. "Yeah, she is," my eyes didn't leave her.

"Did you write that first song you played?" She turned to me, leaning slightly against the deck's railing. "Yeah, the lads and I write everything together," I take a long drag from the cigarette.

"Want a drag?" I say, holding it out to her. "Fuck it," she shrugs, inhaling deeply, causing her to cough as the smoke leaves her lips. I laugh, taking the cigarette back. "First time?" she nods, her coughing slowly subduing.

"Yeah, it's kinda taboo in America," she fiddles with her beer bottle, a phone chiming and cutting through the silence. Clara pulled her phone out of her pocket, reading something on her screen.

"Shit, I've got to head home. I really enjoyed tonight. Thanks for inviting me," she smiled gently. "I can drive you home if you'd like," I said, stubbing out my cigarette. "That'd actually be super helpful," she slipped her phone back into her pocket. "It's just out front," I motioned towards the driveway. 

The car's top was down, and the cold night air pushed into the car. Clara's eyes were again fixed on the starlit sky above as we drove through the dark countryside, slowly returning to the city. It was quiet the whole ride, but it wasn't awkward. There was something almost comforting about just being with her. I parked in her driveway, shutting off the car.

"Thanks for the ride," her hand ran through her windswept hair, trying to push it back into its regular position.

"It's no problem at all," I smile, focusing, moving from her eyes to her lips, then back again. The space between them got smaller as she leaned in. I sucked in a breath as her eyes moved to my lips before looking at me. I leaned in, kissing her gently. She smiled into the kiss, soft lips melting into mine. I blushed as she pulled away, a small laugh leaving her lips.

"I'll see you on Monday," she said as she exited the car.

"See you" I responded faintly.

I waited in the noisy airport, families, school groups, and corporate workers passing me as I stood outside the arrivals gate. Clara was finally coming back from America after visiting her family.

Even after her family had moved back, she decided to stay in Ireland and attend university here. Though I told her I would support her no matter what, I was happy that she decided to stay. But that was a couple of years ago now that she was about to graduate from university. 

"Where is she?" I mumble, looking down at my phone to make sure I had the right gate. "ELIJAH!!!" I heard a familiar voice scream. Looking up, I see Clara running towards me. I wrap my arms around her tightly as she reaches me, picking her up and spinning her around.

"I missed you," I say as her sweet scent consumes me. "I missed you too! Ugh, it's so great to be back. You don't understand. Well, I guess you kinda do now. Don't ya, rockstar?" she nudges me gently, causing me to laugh as I take her suitcase.

"Yeah, yeah, whatever," I shrug, the two of us making our way out of the airport, Clara talking about all the family drama she found out when she was back in the States. 

"Surprise!" the lads and some of our other friends said as Clara entered my apartment, setting off party poppers that scattered confetti into the air. "Awe, guys, you're so sweet," Clara says, her face bright with happiness.

"I missed you so much, lovey," Lizzy, Clara's best friend, says as she hugs her tightly. "I missed you too," she hugged, greeting everyone else before settling on the couch beside Ryan. "I'm fucking exhausted, guys," she sighed, leaning back into the couch.

"That's a shame. I guess you won't want to go to the party tonight," Robert says, knowing that it would only push her to go. "Rob, seriously," I say, slightly annoyed.

"Party?" Clara perked up, her eyebrow raising. "I can always go to a party," Rob looked over at me, a pleased smile on his face. "See Eli, she wants to go!" he motions in her direction, his smile growing. I clear my throat, clasping my hands together.

"One of our friends is throwing a party tonight. I wasn't going to tell you because I knew you'd just be back, But Robert," I look over at him, jaw clenching slightly, "has now broken the news," his arm wraps around my shoulder, pulling me into him.

"Oh, come on, Eli. She's an adult. She can make her own decisions. Can't you, Clara?"

She laughs, nodding, "Of course, I can." 

"Clara, you ready?" I say as I slip on my shoes, glancing in the mirror to ensure I look decent. "Yeah!" she says as she walks into the living room, her more casual airport outfit replaced by a black mini skirt and a small graphic t-shirt. "Is this okay?" she did a little spin, allowing me to take in all of her. I swallow hard before responding. "Yeah, you look great," I smile. 

The party was already crowded by the time we got there, pushing our way into the apartment. "I'm going to go get a drink," Clara yelled over the music. I nodded in response before she walked into the crowd. I wandered around momentarily until I finally found Ryan and Josh sitting on a couch, smoking a joint.

"Hey, lads," I settle myself on the armrest of the couch. "Want some?" Ryan holds out the joint to me, smoke slipping from his lips. I shake my head, "I'm good," he nods, handing it back to Josh. 

"How are you feeling? Still going to tell her?" 

I shrug, fiddling with one of the rings. "I don't know. I just don't want to fuck our friendship up," I sign, hand brushing through my hair. 

"If you don't do it not, you'll never do it," Josh said, taking the puff of the joint as its light fizzled out between his fingers. 

"We'll just see what happens." 

Clara appeared from the crowd, making her way in our direction. "Hey guys!" her smile was brighter than usual. "Eli," she says, handing a beer out to me. "Thanks," she hums, sipping her beer as I grab mine from her hand.

"I missed this. I missed you guys. You don't know how fucking happy I am to be back," a small laugh followed her words, the dim lighting casting beautiful shadows across her face.

"We're happy to have you back. Especially this one," Ryan says, hand coming down hard on my thigh. I could feel the heat creep up in my face.

"What can I say? I'm enchanting," she flipped her hair jokingly. Even though she was joking, it was true. 

We talked for a little longer until the song changed to Lets Go To Bed by The Cure, causing Clara's eyes to light up. "OH MY GOD, I FUCKING LOVE THIS SONG!" she set her beer down on the table next to me. "Eli, come on, you have to dance with me!"

I shake my head smiling. "I'm good. You have fun, though," I say, gesturing to the crowd of people dancing. "Boring," she rolled her eyes playfully, smile still on her lips before going out to dance. 

I take a long drink from my beer before standing and telling the guys I am going out for a smoke. I stepped outside into the cold night, watching the cars below pass as I lit my cigarette. I was getting in my head too much. I just had to do it. I had to tell her, but something was holding me back. I take a long drag from a cigarette, holding the smoke in my lungs until it burns slightly, then letting it drift from my lips.

God, you're such a fucking pussy, Elijah. You could have any girl you wanted in the tenth of a second, but you're too scared to ask the girl you've been in love with for years? Fuck this. I take another long drag from the cigarette before stubbing it out on the metal railing, walking back into the apartment, determined to confess my feelings to Clara finally. 

I move through the crow of people, eyes moving along people's faces as I try to find her. Finally, I spot her in the corner of the room, another beer in her hand, as some guy leans down, saying something in her heart that causes her to laugh. My jaw clenches tightly as I make my wave over.

"Hey Clara," my arm slips around her waist, pulling her close. "Hey!" her arm wraps around my shoulder. "Mark, this is Eli. Eli, this is Mark" My eyes scan him for a moment. "Nice to meet you," he says with a smile. I nod my head, giving a slight hum in response.

"Can I talk to you outside for a minute?" I whisper in Clara's ear, causing her eyebrow to raise. "Do you think you can wait a sec?" she says, glancing at Mark. "It's kind of important," Mark clears his throat, rubbing his nape.

"I'm going to go. But I'll see you later, yeah?" Clara eye's cut in my direction for a moment, a smile quickly returning to her face as she responds. "Yeah, definitely!" 

"Eli, you totally fucking cockblocked me back there," he says with a smile. I nod my head, giving a slight hum in 0talk to you outside for a minute?" I whisper in Clara's ear, causing her eyebrow to raise. "Do you think you can wait a sec?" she says, glancing at Mark. "It's kind of important," Mark clears his throat, rubbing his nape.

"I'm going to go. But I'll see you later, yeah?" Clara eye's cut in my direction for a moment, a smile quickly returning to her lips. "Yeah," Mark responds with a nod.  

"Oh, excuse me. Mark looked so fucking ravishing. I was getting turned on for you," I say as the two of us step onto the balcony. She scoffed, rolling her eyes. 

"Jesus, what the fuck is your problem?" 

"You! You're the fucking problem. Ever since you left, I haven't been able to get you out of my mind, and now that you're back and here, it all feels too real." 

There's a beat before she responds, "Eli, what are you trying to say?"  

I look down, the leather of my boots glowing slightly from the moonlight, "What I'm trying to say is," 

I pause, looking back up at her. "What I'm trying to say is, is that I'm in love with you, Clara." 

Before I could even think, her lips were pressed against mine, the strawberry taste of her lips making my brain go numb as the kiss grew deeper. Her arms wrapped around me, pulling me close. My hands naturally found her waist as I smiled slightly into the kissing, humming happily as she pulled away. 

"Elijah Hewson, you are the fucking dumbest person I know," she shook her head, causing me to laugh. "How so?" I say, glancing down at her lips for a moment, her lipstick slightly smudged. 

"Because I've been in love with you since we were in creative writing senior year," she says, laughing. 

"Wait, seriously?" 

She flicks my forehead gently, "Yes, idiot." 

"Hey!" I rub my forehead as she continues to laugh. 

"That's what you get."

"Oh well, at least I have you now," I say, kissing her once again, the night fading around us.

[puffpasstea]

A/N: Part 1 of this request is below! Enjoy and please let me know what you think/ what you wanna see next!

warnings: angst.

——

The sound of my phone vibrating against the surface of the coffee table interrupted my thoughts and brought me back to the room. I leaned forward to peak at the caller ID. MITCH ROWLAND flashed across the screen. I hesitated for a moment, wondering if taking this call is the best idea right now. I cleared my throat and wiped my tear and makeup stained face with the sleeve of my sweater.

“H-hello?” My voice still sounded hoarse despite my best efforts.

“Hi Alice. How’s it going?” Mitch’s signature smooth voice sounded from the other end of the line. He was making pleasant small talk but it was difficult for me to focus as my mind wandered to why he might be calling or what Harry might have told him. “Sorry to call so late.” It hadn’t occurred to me that it was late. I didn’t realize how much time had gone by since Harry had stormed out of here hours ago. “Just wanted to let you know that, umm, Harry’s alright. And he’s, uhh- here. With me. With us.”

Mitch paused for a moment, as if waiting for me to respond to the information. He spoke again when I said nothing “He- he didn’t say anything. About what’s going on, I mean. All I got is that you guys are fighting, and, umm, that he hasn’t told you where he is, so- anyway, I just thought you might want to know he’s safe.” Another pause. I still remained quiet. At a loss. “Seemed like he’d been drinking, so, he’ll stay the night here.”

“Th-thanks for letting me know, Mitch.” I mustered, sounding hollow and cold.

“Of course.”

I heard some faint whispering behind him. Someone next to him was saying something that I couldn’t quite make out and then Mitch informed me that Sarah wanted to speak to me.

“Hey, Alice!” She chirped, her usual cheerful smile clear in her voice. “Just wanted to check in. Make sure you’re alright. If you don’t feel like being alone in that big house tonight, I can come over?”

That was generous of her to offer, but not surprising. Mitch and Sarah had embraced and welcomed me into their lives unreservedly. Though i doubt that my appreciation has always been clear - I still struggled to accept kindness- it really did mean a lot to me that Harry’s friends took me in. And, in this moment, it was also a relief to know that I could still count on them, even when Harry and I weren’t on good terms.

“It’s okay.” I squeaked, clearing my throat and trying to sound calm. “I think I’m just gonna go to bed actually. But thanks for calling, Sarah. Really.”

“Of course! I’m just a call away if you change your mind, okay?”

***

What I’d told Sarah was the truth. I’d fully intended on going straight to sleep. But, as I lay there, in the bed that Harry and I shared, his side of the mattress cold and empty, remnants of his scent flooding my senses every time I turned too close to his pillow, sleep eluded me. Harry and I had fought before, but not like this. The things we’d said to each other, the frustrations that we’d revealed, it all seemed much bigger than the two of us. Everything seemed so impossible. We’d hit a wall. Talked in circles. Neither one of us knowing how to move closer to other other. As overwhelming as it all felt, I should’ve seen this coming. The past few months have been rocky for us. We’d tried to power through it, sweep things under the rug, move on from any bumps in the road as quickly as possible in the name of letting go, or making allowances for one another’s imperfections. Whether it’s denial or cowardice, I didn’t want to admit to myself, much less to him, that deep down, my gut was telling me something wasn’t right with us. And if I felt that way, I’m sure he must have felt it too. I wished I could go back to when it all first started, to the first inkling that we weren’t doing well, and fix it right away. Not let it get this bad. It was too late now. We were too far down this spiral.

I tried to go back, in my mind, to better memories. Seek comfort in the good times that we’d had. Tell myself that this was just a setback. That we’d bounce right back and find our way to each other again. But, as I thought about the tender moments of our relationship, about all the good times, and the hard times, that we’d been through; about the Harry that I first fell in love with, it all seemed like a distant past. We’re not these people anymore. I could no longer recognize the Harry who’d held me through the hardest nights, whose simple touch communicated the love that he didn’t need to say, but he’d say it anyway. The man who’d bring me flowers just because, or little presents from all around the world because he’d seen something somewhere and it reminded him of me, the person who always seemed to be listening to my wildest, most ridiculous thoughts, and always seemed to remember even the most insignificant details about me- even the silly fleeting things that I’d forgotten ever sharing with him. The Harry that I once knew was brave, open, vulnerable. His instinct was to connect in the face of difficulty. He’d never shut me out, he’d never hold resentment in his heart, not even for a second. That Harry seemed long gone. The person who’d walked out of our home earlier, well, he was someone else. Someone I don’t think I know at all. We’d changed too much, too fast, without either one of us noticing. Our history felt like just that: history. How’d we get here? I missed him. But only the real him. I didn’t want the version of him that had been so unforgiving these past few week. I was glad that guy wasn’t here tonight. If I had to fall asleep right next to him and feel so cold and alone for one more night, I think I’d have lost my mind.

Feeling the ache in my chest burn again, I reached over across the bed and grabbed his pillow, hugging it to my body and inhaling his lingering scent to feel him around me. My tear stains on his pillowcase alarmed me. I worried they’d erase him. Take over his presence. I worried I’d have nothing left of him if I wasn’t careful to preserve it, so I quickly let go and turned to the other side, hating myself. Hating that I even felt this way. That he had that kind of power over me. That his love had so consumed every fiber of my being to the point where I felt dysfunctional without him.

***

I squinted as the sunlight hit my eyes and brought my arms to wrap over my chest in the chili winter air. A faint smile threatened to run across my face as I watched two dogs and their owners play around the park.

“Hiya!” Sarah sprinted towards me, pushing her kid in a stroller in front of her.

I forced myself to smile politely at her, and I got up off the bench to help carry some of her stuff. She’d brought up coffee and breakfast. She was nothing if not a thoughtful friend.

“There’s some sugar packets in the bag if you want.” She settled herself right next to me on the bench as I reached into the strolled to pick up her baby and carry him into my lap.

“Hiii little buddy. Are you having a nice morning?” I gave him a kiss on his soft cheek.

Sarah giggled at my baby voice as she sipped on her coffee. “So, it’s been a few days. How’ve you been?”

Her question seemed innocent enough, but I knew it was loaded with intention.

“I’m alright.” I said simply, looking off into the distance, avoiding her scrutinizing gaze.

“Yeah?” I could sense her studying my face closely.

We’d milked every safe subject for all it’s possibilities until we finally ran out of things to talk about. I was caught up on all the band gossip, future plans, Mitch’s home renovation projects that he had no attention span to follow through on. I told her about my students, my ideas for the next semester. The conversation fell into a lull. We made little observations about her baby boy’s fascination with the dogs and trees and passersby in between silences. Until Sarah broke the unspoken rule and addressed the elephant in the room. “Harry’s hanging in there, by the way.” She simply blurted out.

“I didn’t ask.”

She pretended not to hear me. “Wouldn’t say he’s doing too well though. He mostly just sleeps all day. Locked himself in our guest bedroom. Don’t think he’s showered since he came to stay with us. Starting to smell a bit.”

“Sarah, I know what you’re doin-“

“He misses you, Alice.”

“What, he told you that?” My response came I hurt sharper than I’d intended. There was no need to snap at her. It wasn’t Sarah’s fault Harry and I were in a bad place.

“He doesn’t need to, Alice. He loves you. You know he does.”

“Not so sure about that anymore…”

“Oh, don’t be ridiculous! You two are- well, you’re his Matilda. He writes songs about you!”

“He also writes songs about fruits and orgasms and blow jobs.”

Sarah simply rolled her eyes, refusing to acknowledge my response with words.

“The fruits are metaphors and you know it.” She tried again after a moment of silence. “I mean, you’re the literary scholar.”

I stared forward, sipping my coffee aggressively.

“He strums his guitar in the middle of the night sometimes. I think it’s because he can’t sleep.”

“Sarah-“

“He’s also been drinking a lot the past couple of days. Crying too. I think he doesn’t know Mitch and I can hear him sometimes. But, we get up with the baby, and-“

“I’m sorry he’s such a lousy house guest, I really am. But, I’m sure if you talked to him about it, he’d cut it out.”

“That’s not what I’m saying. Alice, whatever’s going on between you two, it’s hurting him just as much as I’m sure it’s hurting you.”

I felt tears stinging my eyes at her words. I leaned forward and put the baby back in his stroller. I didn’t want him to see or feel the emotions that were quickly rising to the surface of my body. The images of Harry that Sarah’s story conjured up in my mind broke my heart to pieces. Of course it hurt to think about him like that. I hated the idea that he was in pain, even worse, that I was the reason for his pain. But I couldn’t help but think that we wouldn’t be here right now if he’d acted differently, if he hadn’t hurt me. If there were any room at all for us to be on the same page again.

“Babe, I’m not saying any of this to hurt you.” Sarah’s voice was soft, concern itched into her face. She’d noticed the silent tears that I’d been trying to avoid. She wrapped and arm around my shoulders, pulling me towards her. “I- I was just trying to say… maybe talk to him?”

I sniffled and wiped my tears with the back of my hand harshly, shaking my head. “He’ll, umm, he’ll be fine eventually. He’ll get over it.”

Sarah was speechless. She simply sighed, leaning her head against my shoulder and rubbing my back. We stayed like that for several minutes as I occasionally blinked away a few stray tears and tried to calm down. Just as I felt myself able to breathe again, something flashed across my sight. In the glare of the sunlight, I thought I saw someone.

I’d recognize his gait, his walk, the ragged black hoodie and his sweatpants anywhere. I could feel Harry’s presence encroaching as he made his way across the field. Instantly, my blood ran cold.

“Unbelievable.” I muttered, pushing Sarah off of me.

“What?” She seemed taken aback and confused by my sudden stiffness. “What’s wrong, Alice? What?”

“You invited him here??!”

“Who? Invited who?” Sarah’s eyes followed my own, she turned her head to see what I was looking at.

“Him!” My heartbeat drummed inside my chest, I could practically hear it in my ears as Harry got closer.

“I- I swear I didn’t! He wasn’t even awake when I left this morning. Alice, I promise!”

Well, he was here now.

As he closed the distance between us, I could see him clearly now. His chipped nail polish, the rings missing from his fingers, the dark circles under his eyes, his hair a disheveled mess. The closer he got, the harder it got to breathe. I was suffocating from the inside out, my lungs felt like they were running out of air.

He’d finally reached our park bench, taking a quick glance at me and then looking down at his feet.

“H-“ he attempted to speak but his voice sounded broken. He cleared his throat and tried again. “H-hello.” His eyes still downcast.

“Harry- what are you- how’d you find us?” Sarah spoke quickly, clearly as surprised by his sudden appearance as I was.

“Umm, well, Mitch said you’d gone to see Alice, and, I knew since you took the baby-“

“Fuckin Mitch.” Sarah mumbled. She turned to me, “Alice, I’m so sorry.”

I wanted to respond. To tell her that it wasn’t her fault, but I felt paralyzed from my head to my toes. I couldn’t take my eyes off of Harry. He looked so broken, a hollow shell of the man I knew him to be. My first instinct was to want to hug him tightly against me. But I worried that if I got my hands on him I might also want to kick his ass. I was so angry, so hurt, but I’d missed him so much that seeing him felt good as well.

Harry, on the other hand, seemed to be avoiding my sight like the plague. He made absolutely sure to look in every direction but mine.

I swallowed, but my throat was dry. “Why- why’d you come here, Harry?” I finally broke the silence.

“I- well, I miss-“ he attempted to look at me as he spoke but the moment our eyes met, he went silent. Looking away again, “could we….talk?”

Sarah subtly nudged me, but I made no reply.

“W-walk with me? Please, Alice?” Hearing my name from his lips broke my resolve. I stood up and reluctantly went to walk beside him.

Harry made an attempt to reach for my hand, but I quickly moved to cross my arms over my chest.

“S-sorry. Umm. We’ll just walk.” He mumbled, kicking a small rock in front of him.

“You smell like a distillery. Jesus, Harry, it’s barely even 10 in the morning.”

“Yeah…”

***

We walked around the park in circles for a while. Our attempts at talking things out seemed similarly cyclical. Nothing had changed. He was stubbornly unwilling to admit to his part in any of this, insisting that I just don’t get it. That I keep doubting his affection for me. That I need to just move past things. And I was growing increasingly frustrated by his inability to understand where I was coming from, why I believe he’d changed, and I was baffled that he doesn’t see how different things are between us now. When Sarah walked up to us to check in about a half hour later, we were standing opposite one another. Harry, once again, refusing to look into my eyes as tears fell from his eyes onto his shoes. Me, yet again, unable to tear my gaze away from his shrinking face.

“S-so, what now?” He mumbled.

“Guess, I’ll pack my stuff in the next couple of days.” I spoke, tears now running down my face too.

“Alice-“ his voice a mere whisper. “I love you.”

“I’ll text you when I’m out so you can come home. Just g-give me time to find somewhere to stay. Okay?”

I felt Sarah’s mouth move, as if to say something. But she was stunned into silence.

“It’s your home too. Our home. Stay, Alice. We can-“

“I love you too, Harry. But I don’t think there’s a ‘we’ anymore.” I said, sobbing into my hands. We stood there for a while. Neither one of us wanting to be the first one to walk away.

Finally, I reached over and pulled him into a tight hug. Harry’s arms instantly wrapped around me, squeezing me impossibly closer to him until we were chest to chest, no room for even a breath in either of us. I inhaled as best I could, taking as much of him in as possible, my fingers in his hair, my face buried into his neck. I couldn’t help myself, I locked my lips to his. A final kiss goodbye.

As our lips touched, Harry’s tears fell again, staining both our faces. He slumped against me, leaning his whole body weight against mine. I held him for a moment, and for that moment, I considered just taking back everything I’d said, throwing away and erasing everything that had got us here, and just going back home with his arms in mine. It would be so much better and easier if we could just decide to go back to the way things were. But it was this kind of thinking that had got us here in the first place. Simply ignoring our differences whenever they came up, until they were too big and too difficult to magically disappear.

“Take care of yourself, Harry.” I said, untangling my body from him and feeling his iron grip on me stubbornly refusing to loosen.

I hated that he was doing this. I hated that he was making me be the one to walk away, but I knew that if I didn’t, we’d stay frozen in that moment forever.

[chiffaust]

SORRY IF TBIS AENDS TWICE LMAO ANYWAY I WAS THE ANON THAT SEND THE QUESTION ABOUT THE REQUEST UHH HERE IT IS (FEEL FREE TO WRITE IT WITH SOMEONE ELSE IF U WANNA AUAUAU)

so rei with a friend (they have a crush on rei but hasnt confessed yet) thats an idol too !!! cool, right??? readers group is finishing a concert, ending with a song where reader is the main vocals (which is pretty rare for em,, i was thinkin something like this) and the day after the concert reader goes missing, and the rest of their group is oddly quiet about it,, and then rei accidentally stumbles upon them like a month later?? reader ends up confessing they cut off contact with everyone except their group and hasnt left their house because they were getting stressed,, and end up confessing that they like rei,,,

FEEL BETTER S. REI

〝 ☆ 𓈒 SYPNOSIS  𝄒  sometimes you feel like giving up on your dreams and die

〝 𓈒  CONTENT WARNING 𝄒  descriptive implications of reader being depressed, self loathing, if theres anything else i missed please let me know!!

(n.) — note hihi its been a while since i posted anything huh.. this fanfic is fucking long and unproofread so ignore if i did grammatical mistakrs or someyhibg... i am sorry for making you wait for a whole month for something likr this cesarsbeloved merry christmas 🤗

Everything starts and ended in a flash—you are starting to wonder whether any of these are real in the first place.

You used to like being on stage like this; singing your hearts out with your unitmates, trying to capture as many peoples attention as possible.

But these past few days, you feel nothing but dread whenever you're on stage. Is it burnout or are you really not that into being an idol anymore? You didn't know either.

And shouldn't you do your best since that Rei Sakuma had actually agreed to hold this concert with you—the esteemed UNDEAD with a unit such as yours. What an unlikely joint of events.

Well, it's all coming to an end anyways. You've decided to give everybody something they haven't seen before in a while, but would they like it?

You're sure that your other unitmate could hold this off better than you—hell, their voice is better than yours anyways. Why did they even agree to let you do this?

There isn't any room for regret now, the show's coming to a close. With a heavy heart, you sang. Your skips a thousand beats a minute; there was nobody to cover up your mistakes, nobody to help you. Even if they could, it'll be too late and you'd already embarrass yourself in front of the huge crowds.

Well at least UNDEAD isn't currently on stage to see you fail first hand, you suppose.

This is just terrible, this is why you don't like being the main vocal.

Your song surprisingly went right, nothing terrible happens but there's still something that looms behind you—some sort of sense of shame?

The moment you walked off stage, you instantly ran towards the bathroom.

The tap water sinking into the drainer was nothing but another white noise to you. All of your thoughts and emotions are whirling inside of you—it all felt so overwhelming to the point where you're sure you can break the edge of the sink that seemed like you're holding onto dear life to.

You wouldn't say you're insecure about how you look, but you'd be lying if you said it's not hard trying to look at yourself in the mirror right now.

Sometimes you simply wish you could look like someone else; someone prettier and more talented than what you are right now it's going to drive you to the edge.

Oh, and how you wish you could punch the mirror right now.

This isn't right, you should remain your composure. You've worked so hard for this, have you not?

But do you truly deserve it?

You shook your head, trying to regain your composure once again. It's terrible that you just ran off like that—they're all probably worried about you.

Your lips formed a thin line as you looked at yourself in the mirror dead in the eye. You only scoffed before closing the tap, preventing anymore water waste. You felt like you should apologize to whoever was paying this place's water bill for wasting water.

But nonetheless, you remained your composure. Your thoughts are all repressed to the back of your head; at least for now.

You unlocked the bathroom door, and opened the door. You didn't expect to see anything the moment you open the door, but to your surprise none other than Rei Sakuma himself was standing afoot, his hands behind his back as he did nothing but smiled.

"Ah... Sakuma-san...?" You stuttered, suddenly gripping onto the doorknob for dear life. "D-did I made you wait for too long...? Aha, sorry if I did." You sheepishly apologized, closing the door behind you.

"Ah, no. I was simply waiting for you to come out."

"So.. Like... You wanted to go to the bathroom?"

"Fufu, as I had previously stated; no. I was concern over your wellbeing, thus followed you here." He chuckled.

It's really... Surprising, indeed. Why would the Rei Sakuma be so worried over your wellbeing? And what did he even expect you to do in there?

"Thank you, Sakuma-san." You thanked, unsure on what to do other than that.

"There's no need for formalities; we're friends, aren't we? You can just call me Rei-kun ♪"

"Rei... Kun, huh?" You muttered out the name. You couldn't help but smile at his words, even you could feel your cheeks heating up.

"[Name], shall we go back to the others now?" He asks, his smile never falters even slightly as he nudges his head to the direction the others are, you suppose.

If you weren't blushing before, you are absolutely blushing right now.

"... Sure." You replied. You still wanted to keep your composure, you didn't want to seem weird over such simple friendly gesture.

But that was so embarrassing...?? Why'd he call your name like that??

"Well, Sakuma—urm, Rei-kun. Was there another reason for you to do this?" You ask, walking alongside him as you passed by workers who were doing their job to finish cleaning up for the day.

"You're sharp, indeed." He smiled, turning his head to you, "I did notice something rather unusual about your performance just now—by no means I am trying to say it's terrible; I am simply rather curious. About you, specifically." He continues his monologue before his gaze falls upon you once again.

"You weren't acting like yourself, were you?" He asked, his tone sounded nonchalant over such question—too casual, is that the word?

His question is also ridiculous. You don't know what he means. No idols by all means truly act like themselves on stage, do they? It's just ridiculous.

"Fanservice, sultry clothes to keep the fans hooked—shouldn't you understand it, Rei-kun? You're an idol; an esteemed one, that is." You sighed, shaking your head. "I am sure even you don't want to reveal all part of yourself to the public, so isn't it... Quite a hypocritical question to ask?"

"It isn't about fanservice and whatnot, it's about how you acted so indifferently than the others; you looked sad, [Name]."

"... Please don't try to poke your nose into something you aren't apart of." Your tone was something of an angry whisper more than anything. You gritted your teeth, your hands curled into balls as you look away from him.

"Of course I wil not, that is something I am not qualified to do, but do well remember that we all love and care for you." Suddenly, his hands were on top of your shoulders.

His grip on your shoulders were firm—so warm for a self proclaimed vampire. His smile was so gentle too.

"I will not force you to tell me about your problems, but if you ever need someone to talk to please remember that I'm always available." With that, his hands left your shoulders, and thus he turned his back on you, leaving you there.

He stopped on his tracks and glanced back at you, he suavely smiled at you with a wave before he walks once again. "Don't be too late, alright? Your unitmates must be worried sick about you."

Perhaps you should've listened to his advices, but are you going to? No.

It's been... Months? Since you last saw Rei, you hadn't even went outside for a while. You feel so dirty for not doing so, the only source of light in your room was from the computer screen.

Your whole place is a mess, but you felt no motivation to clean up; no motivation to do anything anymore, not even to eat.

Your phone was left with thousands of unread messages from your immediate family, all voicing their concern about your sudden disappearance, but you knew they all had ulterior motive and didn't bother—you just can't bother anymore.

Your friends had been understanding of your situation, but you had allowed none to go inside your apartment—either way, it's pretty disgusting.

You soon lean back onto your chair, feeling nothing but eternal dread. How did you end up like this...? You used to be so bright and cheerful. How did you turn into a loser who hasn't seen the sun in weeks?

You want to change, you want... To go outside for a change. You haven't hanged out with your friends in a while, you want to hang out with them again, you wanna laugh with them again.

But do you even have the motivation to even put a deodorant on? You must smell pretty disgusting for not showering in a while. Ah, you'll just force yourself to.

You didn't really think too much about what to wear. You simply put on whatever clothes that was the closest to you. A hoodie and a tracksuit, it's fine. It's starting to get chilly outside anyways.

You grabbed your phone and other essentials before going to unlock the door. You stare back at your apartment, sighing through your nose at the ugly sight. Alas, you left.

The leaves are starting to fall down, the atmosphere is starting to get colder—the winter days are near. Ah, just what happened to fall?

You felt terrible; you've made so many plans with your friends this fall but only to end up standing them up like this. But surely they understand, right?

And how is Rei doing today? Does he miss you?

... Why would you even want to know. Him missing you or not is the least of your concern. You should be trying to fix your life that's in shambles right now, not think of that bastard.

Your attention focused on the cobblestone path, silently passing by different people with different lives—ah, how you envy them. They are all probably living a normal, comfortable life with their loved ones.

A normal life without needing to overthink about the simplest mistakes you make and even if they did, they'd come back home with someone to comfort them. How envious you are of them, really.

You shook your head, trying to shake those loathing thoughts away. Ah, must you really think of that right now? Just focus on... Trying to interact with another human being or something.

You continued afoot; to where? Not that you have a peculiar place in mind to go, but the park is always the prettiest in times like these. Maybe you should go there.

And thus you followed with your idea. The moment you were in the park, you covered your your lower face with your scarf. There was so many people here, it'd be a terrible thing if someone were to find out you're here.

You doubt everybody thinks you're dead, but still. Being caught in a park like this would be embarrassing.

From where you were standing, you could already see the lake frozen up as the atmosphere grows colder around you—the snows are piling up at the side of the pathways, much enough for children to already start playing with it.

The laugher goes through your ear and left the other as you further walked near the railing of the lake.

Christmas is near... You wish you could spend it with your friends and family this year, but you don't think you can after going on a sudden unplanned hiatus like this.

A rather melancholic feelings arisen within you. Ah, this is just terrible. You grip on the railing tighter, trying not to let a single tear fall.

From the corner of your eyes, a man came a close, leaning on the railing also besides you. The distance between you two is big, but it still felt awkward nonetheless.

"Christmas... It's the most wonderful time of the year, don't you think so?" The man asks. You would've just nodded or replied with a short yes like any other person would, but his voice. He isn't just some random guy—his voice was rather familiar.

You look over to your side to see the Rei Sakuma standing right beside you.

Wait, how did he know you're here? Or does he genuinely think you're a random person? Wait, what are you even supposed to do now?

Should you show your identity to him? Should you just pretend to not know him? What should you do?

"I-I guess." You coughed, pulling on your scarf farther onto your face as you glance away from the man.

He would be lying if he said he didn't knew it was you, but you don't seem to be too ready to disclose everything from the looks of it, so he'll just pretend; he'll simply pretend that you both are nothing but strangers by lucky circumstances.

"The snow... Does it remind you of anything, may I ask?" His question was a weird one. Well, it's Rei Sakuma... He is known to be an eccentric, so you suppose his questions are oughtta be eccentric too.

"... Well, I suppose it takes me back to when I was a dumb kid, playing the snow with my friends." You responded, smiling fondly at the memory. "My friend accidentally hit me with a snow so hard I accidentally fell and slipped down and hurt my head. Funny story."

"Fufu, that is a wonderful story. It brings back many nostalgic memories of me and my little brother in the past."

"I suppose." You replied once again.

Soon silence followed. The lack of conversation made the situation awkward, for you at least. There was white noise of children laughing and people talking, but it doesn't matter.

"I have a question for you, if you don't mind answering it." He suddenly spoke, his gaze didn't stray away from the distant buildings and his smile stays the same.

"Ah...? Go on?"

"Whenever you think of Christmas, does anyone come to mind? Christmas is a wonderful time of the year; even you have someone who you cherish deeply, no?"

You stayed silent. To him, his silence says it all.

"Ah, my apologies. A rather rude question to ask someone whom you've just met, huh?" He tried to damage control everything. "I apologize again, stranger. You must have somewhere else to go."

He pushed himself away from the railing, and soon turned his back on you. It reminds you all like that moment you shared with him on your last show.

"Until we meet again, kind stranger." He turned his head back to you for one last time.

Before he could leave, you instantly grab ahold of his biceps. His smile never falters yet you can see the confused look on his face.

"Sakuma Rei-kun. Please don't leave yet." You brought your scarf down, flashing him your face for a few moment.

"Ah, [Name]-chan. It's been a long time, hasn't it?" He asks, flashing you a closed eye smile as if he did not just try to pretend that you both are nothing but strangers.

"How did you know I was here?" Was your first question to him before you let go of his arm.

"I did not. It was simply a coincidence." His response deadpanned you mentally. "Perhaps even God has decided we'd be more a fit to be together and brought us in the same path once again...?" He chuckled at his own unfunny joke.

Your heart skipped a beat at his statement. Well, that was simply just a joke. He likes to tease around, yeah. It's a joke, don't get your hopes too high...

"I'm sorry for disappearing. I... Should've told you sooner that I'd be on hiatus, huh? Well, sorry. I'm a bad friend; if you even think of me as one..."

"No, don't fret over it, [Name]. I was concern about your sudden disappearance, but I'm sure you have your own reasons—whatever it is, I truly do hope that it's settled."

"I have been so lonely without you, you know? Without my best friend beside me, just who will I tease otherwise?"

"You are not funny, Rei-kun." You replied.

"Fufu, alright, alright. I'm sorry." He apologized, yet the chuckle he lets out says otherwise.

"But it has truly been a while, [Name]. I'd like to know more about everything that happened during your disappearance. Shall we grab a cup of hot tea?"

"Nothing happened. I was just fighting my own demons during my hiatus, I guess."

"Oh? Are you saying you summoned a demon during your break?" He asks, looking genuinely confused at your statement.

"It's... A slang." You muttered out.

"Ah, I see. What a weird slang, fufu. Perhaps I'll ask the children about it later." He chuckles, leaving you dumbfounded yourself.

You couldn't help but chuckle at his own words. Seriously, this guy such an eccentric.

An "I love you..." suddenly rolled down your tongue before you could even realize it.

Silence soon followed once again. You weren't sure whether you said that loudly or not, but the look on his face says the former.

"You... Love me?" He asks, bringing his hand to his chin as his cheeks were tainted with pink hues.

"Uhm, no... I didn't say—uhm, you're dreaming. Nothing about this is real." You stammered out, trying to hide the fact that you're far more than embarrassed that you accidentally confessed to him.

"Fufu, there's no need to be embarrassed about it, in fact; I do love you too."

Those words that rolled down his tongue, it was... Too surreal, you suppose? No way the Rei Sakuma from the unit UNDEAD would like—no, love you back, right?

What a strange turn of events.

[javacad0]

Finally explaining my absence

https://www.deviantart.com/jay-javacad0/journal/Finally-explaining-my-absence-1064284972

"+ MORE SOCIALS BELOW

This will probably be the last post I make on DeviantArt so LISTEN UP!

And don't worry, nothing really serious has been going on aside from the typical mental shit we all get sometimes. Either way, I just felt the need to step away for a few months.

As for why... well, for starters, I just couldn't keep up with the pace. Part of why I made a Discord is so I could still interact with some of my followers and mutuals without having to commit to such a rapid schedule and post everything on here all the time (except it's not actually everything, just the best looking things), and that's what encouraged me to finally take that big break I didn't even know I've been craving the whole time.

I'm glad to have DA and have made it as far as I did, but lord it can be draining trying to stay active, especially for someone who just doesn't like to run around constantly working on shit in general.

The more time I spent away, the more I questioned whether staying here was even worth it anymore. And I mean, specifically here.

To make a long story short, I'm actually leaving DeviantArt and moving socials. I'm sure I don't have to explain why.

It's really a shame that I must do this, I have quite the history with this site (eight on-and-off years) and it's where I met some of my closest friends currently, but if DeviantArt wants to reject humanity and become Deviantron 3000, then I'll let it. I'm not necessarily proud or happy for her transition, but I respect her.

And like I said, I have a list of links to all my new accounts at the bottom of this journal. As of now, pretty much all of them are completely empty, but if you want to support me, I encourage you to please follow them! As for this account, I'm not going to deactivate it, I'm just going to leave it as is to serve as a little old archive for all my older Pokemon related work. Which brings me to my next announcement...

As for another decision I've made within my break, which could be good news or bad news depending on how you take it...

I am now fully committed to transitioning "Street Cat" (now Flea Season) from a Pokemon series to an original one. Some of the later images in my gallery may give you an idea of what it will look like, but a lot of changes are being made every day so those designs are already more than outdated.

Reasons include more creative liberty and freedom, an excuse to just restart from the ground up without the pressure of forcing in all these Pokemon elements and PG filters because there are more kids, and uhh... the relief of not just being followed because of a fandom but rather my own general interests.

I hate that I'm coming back here after about three months, only to tell everyone I'm leaving DA and discontinuing my series... sort of, but it's what needs to be told. I'm sorry I've put this journal off for so long, I've been so caught up with real life stuff, and constantly battling exhaustion, anxiety, ADHD, amongst other likely issues in between. So in terms of productivity, I'm basically frozen in place. It certainly hasn't gotten easier, but I want to at least try to pick myself back up before July.

So I will be doing ArtFight this year. By the time it comes around, that account will be showcasing all my current designs and where everyone is at now. I can't promise there will be much to present aside from a rushed lineup, or that I'll participate much in general, but at least it's something.

I've also had thoughts about a more public Discord server, but there's usually a lot of responsibility and general bullshit that comes with maintaining one, so I'll have to think carefully about that.

I don't know how to conclude this aside from saying I appreciate y'all for the support you've all given me on here over the past year and a half, I'm so glad to have made it this far and feel good about what's to come next.

That being said, here's all my current accounts you can expect me to continue my work on, from most to least likely to be active (plus my AF again just in case).

https://artfight.net/~javacad0 https://sheezy.art/javacad0 https://javacad0.tumblr.com/ (main blog and the only thing that isn't currently completely empty) https://str33t-c4t.tumblr.com/ (current series blog, will either be reconstructed or replaced)

(Just... just trust the process. I'll get to posting and makeovers after July.)

It is 4am as I am finishing this journal, but if you're reading this the next day, then uh... have a great rest of your day and I hope to see you again soon.

I will respond to comments here and notes, and may comment some add-on info myself. Otherwise, I'm signing off. Love y'all."

[loderlied]

13. complimenting their appearance for Ven and Reg?

thank you! y’know, kinda went off a bit like “hmm complimenting appearance… what if i also wrote about ven’s depersonalisation issues (hates perceiving herself/being perceived as a person)?” uhh enjoy. (ao3 here)

Blood dripped quietly onto the floor, a small puddle had already formed, even if the drops were no longer as huge as they seemed to be a while ago. Their origin was evidently a cut on the arm of a tiefling, who was sitting huddled next to a broken mirror. There was no sign that she was in any sort of pain, however, she was nothing but silent and almost completely catatonic.

In a few hours, she would be declared Baroness of the Stolen Lands by Jamandi Aldori herself; by now, she and her companions should have been on their way to the showy celebration that would surely follow. 

Linzi thought she should spruce herself up. Normally, Ven didn't care much about such things—she always wore whatever clothes and make-up she liked best, even if most people didn't think much of her fondness for her ancient coat covered in emergency stitches and ghastly colour combinations. However, it wouldn't be a bad idea to not appear quite so... dishevelled at such an occasion, with someone you would hopefully be working with for years to come. 

So, just before their departure, she had gone back to her room, energetically pulling the cloth off the mirror that clearly towered over her and had been gathering dust in the corner of her bathroom for the past few months. 

Who

There was a reason why she had covered up that damn thing. 

is

Mistakes? Just another type of fun surprise for her. But that she had accepted this "gift" from Svetlana was definitely one, that became crystal clear.

that?

A blurry figure stared at her. She couldn't look for long, it was simply too painful to bear.

She had to catch her breath, leaned against the wall to get her breathing back under control. 

That thing was doing the same. The same movements—the same breathing becoming more frantic again. It couldn't be… Whatever it was, it instilled in her a feeling she so rarely felt: fear. 

She reached for the large vase filled with a motley bouquet of flowers that stood on the windowsill and hurled it at the thing with all her might. 

The shards flew in all directions—one particularly large one directly grazed her upper arm, but none of that was important. That it disappeared was all that mattered in this moment. 

"Ven, you there?" Two knocks followed after Regongar, who sounded thoroughly concerned, though Ven was in no shape to notice that, called out to her. Shortly after, he didn't seem to hesitate for a second in opening the door after pushing down the handle and realising it wasn't locked. 

"Yeah, yeah, I am!" She quickly closed the door behind her; her sleeve was down again too. No one, especially not him, should see something like that.

He sighed, clearly relieved. "I've been looking everywhere for you! What's keeping you? They can't pull off that shitshow without the star, after all!"

"Sorry, was just getting ready and lost track of time." She laughed softly as she leaned from one foot to the other.

"Well, are ya done soon? Don’t think it matters much anyway—cuz you always look fucking fantastic, cutie." He finished his sentence with a flirty wink.

He let his gaze wander all over her body, looking at her, looking at it. Her heart skipped a beat, still terrifying, but somehow... different. More… pleasant. 

She grinned. "Yeah, yeah, don't rush me. Just have to put on a different skirt. This one stinks." 

As Ven made her way to her wardrobe and hastily rummaged through it, Regongar said, "Just so you know, I'm definitely not leaving unless you tell me to." A dirty laugh followed his words. 

She giggled softly, fishing a long, yellow-orange skirt with a sun and star pattern out of the mess that honestly couldn’t really be called a wardrobe moments later, and then sat down on her bed, a cheeky expression gracing her face—and yet, no sign of asking him to leave. 

His eyes widened, his grin got even dirtier, as she slowly pulled the old skirt over her hips—beautifully plump and soft; her belly spilled over slightly—which made him swallow his spit hungrily, even if it was a bit of a disappointment that she didn't seem to need new underwear as well. The skirt slid over her knees and eventually fell to the floor, exposing her very small but thick and delicate-looking thighs; he imagined stroking his fingers over them, sinking into them slightly as he made his way up to her, into her…

"Perfect..." He huffed, aroused. 

"Uh-huh, really?" the tiefling replied teasingly, though a hint of nervousness could also be heard. That feeling came back as he stared at her for so long, just a little. 

"Well, now that you’re asking, not quite." 

Ven cocked her head and continued to look at him curiously.

"The only thing missing is me between them while you wrap them around my waist, ha ha hmm!" Regongar laughed loudly without shame, without taking his eyes off her.

Ven then did the same, started laughing heartily, and threw herself back on the bed for a moment before she quickly sat back up and put on the other skirt. "Well, there's only about... hundreds of people waiting for me in Brevoy? Too bad, but I'm afraid we'll have to postpone."

He grabbed her by the arm, pulled her up to him, then put it around her. "You're really mean sometimes, you know that? Well then, come on, let's finally show these snobs who’s boss!"

As they made their way to the door, happily chatting about whatever popped into their minds at the moment, Ven briefly let her gaze wander to something glittering—a large shard of mirror must have flown all the way here from the bathroom. It looked at her, but something had changed, if only a little bit. She could swear that the thing wasn't as distorted as it had been earlier; that she could bear it’s gaze just for a second longer.

[roberttchase]

Brettsey + 'You broke my heart over the phone'.

I made this way too angsty, whoops. I got another prompt as well, so I combined them! Have 2.5k of Matt on lexapro, Cruz throwing a punch, and Brettsey getting alllll their emotions out.

Can you redo the Molly’s scene but with more angst since you’re so good at it?? 

XXX

The second he clocks her; not even twenty seconds into the damn place, Matt blinks and feels his body tense. He’d wanted to  catch up with 51, wanted to quell the intense homesickness he’s been battling the past few months. But maybe coming here wasn’t such a good idea after all. His stomach feels sloshy even without having a drink, and there’s a lump in his throat that he can’t quite swallow. 

Her hair is longer. It’s the first thing he notices, aside from how beautiful she looks. He wants to compliment it, but then he remembers how he used to rake his fingers through the soft golden strands, how he used to bury his face into it when he was stressed or sleepy. The firefighter remembers how the light would hit it in the morning and make Sylvie look like an Angel while she slept. He turns to go, to make a run for it before he’s noticed, but it backfires and he runs into Gallo and Violet who’ve just walked in. 

“I’m so sorry!”

“Captain! It’s totally okay,” Gallo grins widely, clapping Casey on the shoulder. 

Everyone seems to notice him now, and a few ‘Case!’ and ‘Captain’s!’ ring out throughout the bar. 

He’s not sure what does it exactly, but the sudden thought of being an outsider wells up inside of him. He doesn’t belong here, not anymore. He talks to Severide and Kidd every couple of weeks, but aside from that and Herrmann once in a blue moon, no one reaches out to him- but he doesn’t reach out to them either. He feels trapped like a wild animal caged in a corner. The man can feel eyes from his old team on him, waiting for him to come over and join their conversation. He knows Sylvie’s head is turned towards him now thanks to his peripheral vision. Hands shaking slightly, Matt shoves them into his pockets and licks his lips. 

“I actually uh, I have to head out-“ 

“No way Captain!” Stella calls from the bar, her curls pulled back into a ponytail. “Not until you’ve had a drink or two and we catch up.” 

And okay, he’s not thought this one through. Shit. How does he get his way out of this? Walking up to the bar, he gives Sev a hand to the shoulder, then pulls away to let Stella hug him from over the counter. Herrmann’s wiping down the opposite side but heads over, slinging his towel over his shoulder. 

“How ya doin’ Casey? How’s Portland?” 

“Oh, you know, keeping me busy,” he smiles, ignoring the skeptical look from Stella. “How’s everything here?” 

“Oh ya know, keeping us busy,” Herrmann parrots back. “What brings you back?” 

“I’m here to see my sister,” Matt lies, not wanting to let anyone know about the talk he’s going to have with Stella, even though he knows at least Severide will hear about it. 

“Well, it’s good to see your face back in here. It’s been weird without you.” 

“I’ve missed it,” Matt clenched his jaw and blinks, trying to calm himself down. 

“What’re you drinking? The usual?” 

As much as the blonde desperately wants a beer, he can’t. Not anymore. 

“Oh, uh, no, I’ll just take a coke,” he shrugs, feeling his face heat up when the three of them look at him like he’s crazy. “I uhh…I can’t drink,” he adds lamely as an afterthought. 

“You got some news for us Case?” Severide laughs and pats Matt’s stomach gently. “Better name them after me.” 

“You’re a comedian,” the firefighter rolls his eyes at his best friend's antics. “No, I’m actually,” Matt straightens up a bit, then lowers his voice. “I’m on this medication that won’t let me drink,” he waves off, hoping they’ll leave it.

They don’t, of course. Herrmann tries, which Matt’s grateful for, stumbling out a “Jeez, okay, Lemme get you a coke then,” before ambling down to the soda fountain at the other end of the bar. 

“Medication?” Severide’s eyebrows raise. “Are you okay?” 

Matt nods, pressing his palms against his thighs. “Yeah, yeah, I’m good. Seriously,” he promises the couple who still look worried. “It’s just Lexapro man, nothing serious.” 

Stella and Severide share a look. 

“That’s for depression and anxiety right,” Kelly recalls, frowning. “What’s going on with you lately? You can talk to me Case.” 

“Look, if it’s all the same to you, maybe we can do this when we’re not at the bar. Don’t really feel like talking about it here,” Matt looks around and Sylvie’s eyes are staring back At him, making him feel like he’s been electrocuted. 

He shouldn’t have come. This was all a mistake. 

“I’m gonna go see my sister, but it was great to see you guys. Maybe we ca-“ 

“Stay at the loft tonight, yeah? Beats a hotel,” Stella interjects.

Matt debates it. On one hand, his best friends are married now. But this isn’t him moving back in, it’s one night. He’s missed them. But they don’t deserve to have him back for a night just for him to leave again, just like Sylvie didn’t. He doesn’t want to make the same mistake, and yet- 

“Yeah, alright. I’ll text you guys when I’m heading over.” 

He puts a twenty on the counter even though he’s not even been given the drink that Herrmann’s still fiddling with, obviously wanting to give them space. A moment later, the blonde is out the door, feeling shaky and like his skin is too tight on his body. It’s as if he’s a live wire, ready to combust. He can’t do this. 

“Matt!” 

It takes everything in him not to tell the woman approaching him to leave him alone. She doesn’t deserve that, he tells himself, she doesn’t deserve to feel the way he’s been feeling. 

“Sylvie..” Any other words die in his throat, now that he’s so close to her, can smell her perfume and can see her freckles that come out when it gets warmer. 

“Why didn’t you say you were coming?” 

“I don’t…,” he swallows. “Why would I need to? We’re not dating anymore.” 

It’s blunt and he sees Sylvie wince. He doesn’t mean to be harsh, it’s just a fair statement. They’re not together anymore, no matter how much he wants to be. He bites his thumbnail; an old anxious habit, then looks at her. She looks surprised, hurt and confused all at the same time. 

“We’re adults. We should be able to talk and-“ 

“You broke my heart over the phone, I don’t think

I owe you anything.” 

The words tumble out before he can stop them. Matt can physically feel his resolve crumbling, can feel the nice guy routine starting to slip out of his grasp. All the emotions that have been bottling up since September feel like they’re ready to erupt like a volcano. Tears threaten to do the same. 

“I’m sorry I couldn’t just fly out to Portland to have that conversation,” she grits out, and oh yeah, he can’t tell just from how Sylvie sounds that they’re doing this; getting their grievances out, right in the middle of the sidewalk outside of Molly’s. 

“Conversation? There wasn’t a conversation from how I remember it. I didn’t even get a real explanation! It’s always been ‘it’s hard’. I get that it’s hard, I had to live it too. But it’s bullshit that the reason we broke up was because it was ‘hard’. We could have done more instead of just give up!” 

“It was hard, Matt! Do you know how hard it is being at 51 without you? Constantly being reminded of you? And when we try to set up video dates there’s always something that gets in the way? I needed you and sometimes I couldn’t have you! It wasn’t fair! It was exhausting always wondering if I’d be able to talk to my boyfriend, or the fact I couldn’t hug you or kiss you. We were new and everything was perfect and then you left!” Her words are tainted with sadness and desperation. 

Matt feels like he wants to throw up. His breaths quicken and he lets his eyes look away from the paramedic. 

“Unfair? This whole thing is unfair, I couldn’t just let the boys get thrown into foster care!” He crosses his arms defensively. “I’ve lived that, and that’s unfair, Sylvie. I’m sorry I can’t be two places at once!” 

“I know that Matt, but it doesn’t make the hurting any less miserable,” Sylvie blinks hard, and if Matt has to watch her cry again he’s going to lose it himself. 

“Do you know how miserable I was? How miserable I am? I’m trying to be a good guardian to them, and I’m pretty sure I suck. I couldn’t see you then, and I can’t see you now. I don’t have friends at work, it’s not like 51. 51 is a family. I’m an outsider at my firehouse,” he swallows thickly, finally admitting how awful it’s been. “I’m not Case or Matt to anyone there. They don’t know me! I’m Captain Casey, and that’s all I’ll ever be because they don’t care. I’m not invited places because I’m their boss. Our Chief is only at the house half the time, which means I’m in charge of everything. So it’s work, boys, and then make things in the shed behind the house because if I’m left alone with my thoughts? It’s not a good time.” 

He thinks back to the first week they’d been broken up. Thinks back to sitting alone in the dark of his small bedroom and wondering if he was helping anyone, if he was a good guardian, or brother, or leader. He thinks back to intrusive thoughts and punching a hole in the wall, ignoring the fracture and letting himself feel the pain for the next two weeks, serving as some kind of fucked up punishment. 

Sylvie is watching him as he starts trembling and his chest tightens. He knows his anxiety is starting to seep through the wall his lexapro builds him, and he clears his throat. 

“Look. I’m sorry, okay? I’m sorry I didn’t do enough, and I’m sorry I made you feel that way. You don’t ever deserve to feel like you’re not enough or you’re a second choice.” 

Dejavu washes over him. 

“I just want you happy. So if you’re happier without me, I accept that. But please don’t let us fail just because it was hard. You were it for me Sylvie, absolutely the only one I could ever see building a forever with. And like I said, you broke my heart. I’m not going to deny that. But I’d rather my heart be broken versus yours.” 

By the end of his little speech, he’s trembling all over, and he thinks maybe he should get to his suitcase that’s at Christie’s and take another pill. Sylvie looks ready to cry at any moment, cheeks flushed and eyes watering.

“Matt-“ 

Severide and Cruz interrupt her, walking out of Molly’s laughing. Both stop short, and it’s ironic really, the fact Matt and Sylvie’s respective ‘defenders’ are walking out to this of all things. All four of them freeze, but the tear that’s falling from the paramedics eyes makes Cruz snap back into action almost immediately. He puffs his chest out and stands taller as he walks up to Matt. The Captain straightens his own shoulders. 

“You know, with all due respect Casey, now that you’re not at fifty one, I can kick your ass for hurting her.” 

“Cruz! You’re still a firefighter, and not only that, I’m your lieutenant and I’m also right here,” Severide steps in, his voice firm. 

Matt keeps his face stony and unreadable, mouth in a thin line, almost turning downwards. He knows there’s no way in hell Cruz would try and fight him, at least he’s 90% sure. He holds his ground, raising an eyebrow. 

“You really want to do that Cruz?” He asks, ignoring the noise Sylvie makes next to him. “Go ahead then. You’ll get reprimanded, but if it’s worth it, you can take a free shot,” Matt says sarcastically. 

Before he knows what’s happening, there’s force against his cheek, hard and sudden. Both Severide and Sylvie yell at Cruz, and as Matt looks up cradling his jaw, he sees his best friend grabbing the squad member by his shirt, holding him tight. 

“You’re out of your damn mind man!” 

“No, Casey is! Brett’s been heartbroken and it’s his fault!” 

“It’s no one’s fault, they’re both adults, and this isn’t high school!” 

“Stop! Stop yelling, and stop stepping in for me. Cruz, I told you, I broke up with him. You don’t get to just go around hitting people because of something they did or didn’t do,” Sylvie glares. 

Matt’s not sure he can recall ever seeing her this angry. Wincing as he rubs the tender spot on his jaw and cheekbone, he finally recovers, clenching his fist. He wants to sucker punch Cruz, but he also understands why he’s hit him. And truthfully, maybe he deserves it. Sighing, he puts a hand out, signaling for everyone to stop. 

“I’m leaving. Severide, I’m grabbing my bag from Christie’s and then I’ll come to yours. Cruz, have fun with your write up. Sylvie…it was good seeing you.”

The last few words are quiet and his voice shakes, but it’s the last of his worries. His face hurts, he’s exhausted, and he feels like he’s going to crawl out of his skin. 

“I’ll see you guys around.” 

With that, Matt turns and walks down the street, grateful Christy isn’t too far away. The idea of staying near everyone for much longer makes him feel gross. By the time he’s letting himself into Severide and Kidd’s apartment; because of course he still has his key, it’s nearing ten o’clock and a bruise is blossoming on his jawbone. 

“Damn, he really got you good,” Stella says Matt shuffles in further, setting his leather duffel bag down. 

“It was an easy shot, could have avoided it,” he grumbles, sitting on the couch reflexively, as if he still lives there. 

A beat of silence. 

“So, can I talk about the elephant in the room?” Stella looks at him with that determined face she gets, so he nods as Severide comes and sits down too, a bowl of chips in hand. 

“When did you start taking lexapro?” 

The way she says it reminds Matt of a mom worrying over her kid, which isn’t all that terrible if he’s honest. 

“In October. It’s been a rough few months I guess,” he shrugs, staring at the wall behind his friends.

“That’s all we get?” 

“Tonight? Yeah. Maybe tomorrow I’ll say more but I’m tired and feel like shit and want to sleep.” 

“Fair enough dude. Go get some sleep. And take something for your jaw, or you’ll regret it.” 

“Yes dad.”

[warmaidensrevenge]

Eddie's confession

Pairings: Eddie x Plus!size reader x Steve

If you want to read my other work you can find it HERE

A/N: This is the final part of my mini series. Thank you for reading. As always feedback is greatly appreciated.

Warnings: 18+ sexual implications, language, hurt, and not proof read and no word count.

Summary: The plan was to always leave.

"What do you mean you guys are together?!" Steve was pissed.

" I...look man. I like her. I really really like her. And we want to be together. I need you to be cool about this."

"How can I be cool about this Munson. She's not just another girl you can hook up with then fucking leave!"

"Guys." Robin tried to get them to calm down.

" No Robin. This is bullshit. He's just gonna use her."

" No I'm not! Fuck you Harrington! You don't know me!"

"No I do. Ever since you came back you've been a total dick. Even with her. You didn't even know her and you treated her like shit."

" I love her man!"

" Like you loved Chrissy?!"

Eddie didn't know what to say. So he just stormed off.

...

After everyone left you had your brother stay the night at his friends. It was a cold night and you wrapped yourself up in a throw blanket and went out to sit on the swing. You knew it was a mistake being with Eddie. Though you were falling in love with him. You couldn't break that friendship up. And you were really hurt by what you heard.

You made a decision that night that you might have regretted for the rest of your life. But it needed to be done.

You looked at your hand. And your tears fell onto the bandage. How could Eddie say that about you? Why did he think that? Weren't you nice to him? You started to swing back and forth. You had wished you never fell in love with him.

...

When Eddie left he went to the bar. He was babysitting a shot of tequila. He wanted a drink so badly but he just couldn't. A few girls tried to talk to him but he ignored them. He decided to just go for a drive.

He ended up at Steve's. He knew he had to have this conversation with him. Not really knowing what to say. He just thought he would wing it.

When Steve came out Eddie was smoking.

" What do you want Munson?"

Eddie sighed. "Look Harrington, I'm sorry for what happened. I really am. I-I know I shouldn't have put my hands on you. It's just... I don't know. I-I got these flashbacks of that night in the bar. And I freaked out."

"Oh-kay." Steve crossed his arms

Eddie rubbed the back of his neck. " I...I get that you don't believe me when I say that I do love her. But Harrington, I do... It's not like how it was with Chrissy. Not at all like that. I barely even knew her. But y/n...she's been...everything to me... Didn't you see how much I've changed since she walked into our lives? When I'm with her I can breathe man."

Steve's heart fell. No. This couldn't be happening.

" When did that start?" Steve said furrowing his brow.

" It...well it was different in the beginning."

" What do you mean?"

" I uhh I wanted her. But not like how you did... But Steve I swear. It's not like that anymore. And it hasn't been for some time now."

" What is it like now?"

Eddie shook his head tossing his cigarette butt and put his hands in his jacket pockets. " Because nothing makes sense without her. She's the reason I got my laugh back. She is the reason I do what I used to love again. The reason I can sleep without nightmares...I didn't want this at first. But I do now. I want her... She has my heart Harrington."

Steve had no idea this was how Eddie felt. Sure he saw Eddie change the past few months but he didn't know it was because of you.

" She has mine too Munson."

" I know. And I'm sorry. I wish I could take everything back. I really didn't mean for this to happen. And neither did she. But it's real between us...look man if you don't want us to be together. Then I'll do it...You are one of my best friends and I don't want to hurt you. And if this is what you really want. Then I'll end it."

" I...What happens when she leaves? Because you know she's still gonna leave after the house is done right?"

" Yeah...I know. I...was hoping she would stay."

" She's not. I tried talking to her about it. When she told me she had feelings for you. She didn't want to tell you because she was leaving."

" When was this?"

" That night I took her out on a date. When did she tell you that she liked you?"

"I..." Eddie didn't want to say. He really didn't want to hurt Steve more. "That night."

" What?!"

" Dude. I...she came over and we talked about it."

" Did she say she was gonna stay now?"

" No. We umm... We just talked and I read to her." Eddie left out the best part. He knew by the look in Steve's face that he should.

"okay. So since she's not gonna stay. What are you gonna do?"

"I wanna leave with her man."

Steve sighed. " and you swear she's not just another chick you want to bang?"

Eddie shook his head. " She means so much more to me than that."

Steve walked to Eddie putting his hand on his shoulder. He hung his head. He had to let you go.

" Okay Munson. Go get your girl."

Eddie embraced him. " Thanks man."

...

Eddie pulled up to your house after the talk with Steve. He knocked on the door but you didn't answer. He checked the windows and didn't see anyone. That's when he heard you crying. He looked over the fence and saw you on the swing wiping your tears away. His heart broke seeing that. He had never seen you cry before and it tore him apart. He reached over the fence to unlatch the door and walked over to you.

You looked up and quickly looked to the ground.

"Sunshine? I...I am so sorry." He said kneeling in front of you.

You wiped your runny nose on the blanket. " You...you still think that way about me?"

" No y/n. No...I was so stupid for saying those things. I didn't even give you a chance when we first met. I wasn't right up here." He said pointing at his head.

"But you said some of those things to me when you came over for the first time and then again to Steve?"

" Y/n please believe. I don't think that way about you. You are so amazing. You are so kind and -and beautiful. You are my sunshine."

" I can't be that for you anymore."

" W-why?"

"Because, I...I hate who I am with you."

Eddie shook his head a little and started to blink really fast. " What?"

You looked up into his eyes that were filled with tears. " I'm not me when I'm with you. I hate that when we're together I can't think straight. I hate that I can't breathe sometimes. I hate it when you smile at me and my heart just stops. I hate that all I ever want to do now is be in your arms. I just...you make me feel something that I can't control."

Eddie felt a sense of relief. " You say that like it's bad thing. Those are all good things y/n."

" No they're not. Because all those things make me want you to pick me. It makes me want to ask you to choose me over Steve. And that's not who I am. I am not this person who ruins friendships Eddie."

" You didn't ruin anything y/n." Eddie reached up and cupped your face catching your tears.

" Then what happened today? Why did you do that to Steve? He didn't even do anything Eddie."

He hung his head and stood up. " I...I saw a bit of what happened that night you found me. And I got scared. I- I just didn't want that to happen to you."

" Moon." You stood up and went to him and wrapped your arms around his waist. " Steve would never do that."

He put his arms around you and put his cheek on the top of your head. " I know...I know baby. I just want you safe. I want to keep you safe. Because... because I love you."

You slowly pulled away looking up into his eyes. Your heart was racing and it felt like you couldn't breathe.

" You." Your voice was small. " You, love me?"

He nodded tugging at his bottom lip.

You moved from his arms and held his hand leading him inside and into your room. You threw off the blanket and went to light a candle while Eddie watched you. You had your back to him and pulled off your shirt. You unbuttoned your jeans and pulled them down.

That's when you felt Eddie's hands. He moved your hair to one side and placed gentle kisses down the slope of your neck to your shoulders. One of his hands clasped your bra and you let it fall to the ground. You leaned back into him. He turned you around and lifted your chin.

" I love you y/n."

You wanted to say it back. But he kissed you before you could. He made bittersweet love to you that night for the last time.

...

The next morning when he woke you were gone. He looked everywhere for you and Connor. But when he saw your car gone he knew. You left him. He sat there for hours and you never came back.

Finally when he went home Steve was waiting for him.

" Hey."

" Hey Harrington. Have you heard from y/n?"

Steve hesitated and sighed. " She told me to give you this."

Steve handed Eddie a piece of lined paper.

He opened it and read two words.

'Im sorry.'

Eddie closed his eyes. " She left?"

" Yeah."

Eddie went inside to his room with Steve following. He tore his room apart looking for his duffle bag.

" Munson?"

Eddie ignored Steve while he stuffed his army duffle bag with clothes and other necessities.

" Where are you going?"

Eddie lifted his mattress and pulled out a wad of cash shoving it into his pocket. It was the same one he threw at you. With a little extra that he had been adding since then. He went to look for his metal lunch box and pulled out all the money he stashed in there. It wasn't much but it was all he had.

Before he headed for the hallway Steve stopped him.

" I'm going. And you're not gonna stop me."

" I know." Steve pulled out his wallet and pulled out everything he had and held it out to him.

" I'm not gonna-"

" Just take it Munson. You're gonna need it."

Eddie nodded and took it. He went to his van and tossed his bag in the back. He took one last look at Steve.

" Tell my uncle I went to go get my girl."

Steve gave him a slight nod and watched Eddie leave.

Eddie didn't know exactly where he was going but he remembered you saying something about Arizona. So that's where he was heading. He didn't know if he would find you. But he knew he wasn't going to stop until he did.

...

3 months later Eddie returned back to Hawkins. He spent that whole time looking for you. But he never found you. He planned to go back and ask for help to locate you. He knew Steve and Robin would help. He hadn't talked to anyone since he left. He just sent postcards with no return address.

But finally he was back in town and went to say hi to his uncle and get some food before going to Steve's. His uncle wasn't home and he was happy to see his room was still the same.

He quickly made a sandwich and took off. Once at Steve's he knocked on the door.

" Munson!"

" Hey Harrington, ok look I need your help. I-"

" Munson. She's here. She came back a month ago." We've been trying to get a hold of you but you-"

" She's here?! Where?!"

" Home. She's at home."

Eddie turned around and ran to his van.

" MUNSON! WAIT!"

But he ignored Steve and sped away. His tires screeched to a stop in front of your house. It looked so different from the last time he saw it. Everything was fixed and painted. He saw your car and smiled. He jogged to the door and pounded on it.

"Eddie!" Connor said with excitement when he opened the door.

He hugged him.

" Hey bud. What did your sister say about answering the door?"

Connor looked up. " Oh yeah."

Eddie chuckled. " I missed you bud. Where's your sister?"

" She's in the backyard. She's on the swing."

Eddie followed Connor into the backyard.

" Let me have a minute little man." He whispered in Connors ear.

Connor went back inside and Eddie walked towards you. Your back was to him and you were singing.

" You are my sunshine, my only sunshine.

You make me happy, when skies are grey.

You'll never know dear, how much I love you.

So please don't take my sunshine away."

He smiled. He missed your voice.

" Hi sunshine."

You looked over your shoulder and gave him a small smile.

" Eddie. Umm. I-"

He made his way around you and his eyes widened when he saw you holding your tummy.

" Eddie, I'm so sorry. I-"

" Sunshine? Are we having a baby?" He said kneeling down in front of you.

You nodded. " I'm so sorry I left. I just thought-"

Eddie cupped your face looking up to you. "It doesn't matter. You're here now. And I'm here."

" If you don't want this anymore I understand."

" No sunshine. I love you. And this is crazy. But it's a good kind of crazy."

" It is. But a baby Eddie?"

" Yeah." He said putting his hand on your belly. " Our baby."

...

You took your house off the market and Eddie moved in. You were 7 months pregnant now and you Eddie and Connor were working on the nursery.

" Hey where are we setting up the crib?" Steve and Robin came in with a brand new baby crib.

" Uhh over there." You pointed to the corner of room.

You were holding on to your tummy in the doorway and watching as your friends and husband worked on the room.

Eddie left giving you a kiss and went to his van. When he came back he had a huge frame.

" I got this so our baby can know what her great grandfather looks like." He said holding it out.

It was a picture of you Connor and your Grandpa.

You started to tear up.

" Oh no. Don't cry sunshine."

" I'm not crying you're crying."

Eddie chuckled. " Where do you want it Mrs Munson?"

" Near the window."

Eddie gave you a peck on the cheek. " Love you sunshine."

" Love you too moonbeam."

...

@salenorona23

[phantomswolf]

here, i answered the art questions

1. Art programs you have but don't use

aseprite, krita (nightmare to draw in), i used to have a totally 100% absolutely-not-pirated copy of photoshop but not anymore

2. Is it easier to draw someone facing left or right (or forward even)

depends on the day, but usually the left. i hate doing side profiles tho

3. What ideas come from when you were little

A LOT. but my story Nightfall has been a work in progress since I was 11

4. Fav character/subject that's a bitch to draw

GORO AKECHI PERSONA 5

5. Estimate of how much of your art you post online vs. the art you keep for yourself

i hardly post most of my art on Tumblr atm, but that’s because almost all of it regards the Kirby Gemini AU and my partner and i are making a blog for that. so, as a percentage for the last few years, i’ve probably only posted maybe. less than 1% of my work?

6. Anything that might inspire you subconsciously (i.e. this horse wasn't supposed to look like the Last Unicorn but I see it)

honestly a lot of old emo art fksbfjfbd jhonen vasquez was a huge inspo to me for a while

7. A medium of art you don't work in but appreciate

PLUSH MAKING AND FURSUIT MAKING god i wanna learn but i don’t think sewing is my thing

8. What's an old project idea that you've lost interest in

i’ve had a lot, but i wanna keep them to myself in case I wanna salvage bits and pieces

9. What are your file name conventions

Depends on the day and the art piece but usually shit like “sorry if this looks gay”, variations of AWOO, “normal”, “k i l l”, “straight people”, etc

10. Favorite piece of clothing to draw

Uhhhh armor (i say like a fucking freak)

11. Do you listen to anything while drawing? If so, what

this nightmare of a playlist

12. Easiest part of body to draw

Uhhhhhhh depends on the day, usually the face

13. A creator who you admire but whose work isn't your thing

iunno, i don’t think abt that

14. Any favorite motifs

A LOT. i cant think of any specific ones rn but i guess. religious imagery is pretty baller. that and super dark palettes with bright neon highlights and accents

15. *Where* do you draw (don't drop your ip address this just means do you doodle at a park or smth)

my room for digital stuff, but i usually bring a sketchbook with me if i’m going out

16. Something you are good at but don't really have fun doing

oughhh coloring and shading

17. Do you eat/drink when drawing? if so, what

usually water. hydration is important 👍

18. An estimate of how much art supplies you've broken

traditional, i have no clue. too many. digital supplies uhhh i didn’t break per se, but two art tablets have given out (my first one lasted years, but the second only lasted a few months coz it sucked booty hole)

19. Favorite inanimate objects to draw (food, nature, etc.)

TREES.

20. Something everyone else finds hard to draw but you enjoy

expression work!

21. Art styles nothing like your own but you like anyways

my partner’s style!! i love it so fucking much

22. What physical exercises do you do before drawing, if any

i do a lot of hand stretches. carpal tunnel was too much of a bitch not to

23. Do you use different layer modes

all the time! always for shading and for glowing bits. multiply and add glow layers my beloved

24. Do your references include stock images

sometimes yea lol. i don’t use refs as much as i should tho

25. Something your art has been compared to that you were NOT inspired by

Too much for me to be happy about it.

26. What's a piece that got a wildly different interpretation from what you intended

i drew a vent piece and people took it as me just being edgy. wild times

27. Do you warm up before getting to the good stuff? If so, what is it you draw to warm up with

somedays i do. usually just shitposts or my sona

28. Any art events you have participated in the past (like zines)

i have participated in 1 (one) collab

29. Media you love, but doesn't inspire you artistically

uhh ace attorney and persona

30. What piece of yours do you think is underrated

is it weird to say a lot of my works? like the finished ones. iunno, i feel like i get overlooked a lot and it’s a cowabummer