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captwaddledoo · 4 months ago

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ok so. a little while ago i made a comic ("compic" wtf hands???) about my experience in the octopath fandom, but i deleted it because i got paranoid someone might see it and say okay that isn't my experience and get offended. but things have happened since then that makes me feel compelled to speak about my experience so. i'm sorry if this doesn't reflect what you've been through, i don't want to diminish it, but. here goes

my time here has not been easy. i have a shit brain that tortures me with stupid nonsense and a notp that is impossible to avoid. combine that with my shit brain and you get hell, absolute hell. it's given me intense anxiety about whether there's space for me in this fandom and whether i'm wasting my time making the content i do.

but i'm gonna tell you something.

earlier this year when my brain was just horrific, a follower dmed me to help me, and even apologized for what was happening even though she absolutely didn't need to. she wasn't offended by what i was going through, understood and accepted my preferences, didn't give me shit for it. i've had other people reach out to me who are in similar positions but are absolutely kind and patient with me and even downright helpful when i've been feeling down. i've made great friends with people who do like what i like, who are incredibly supportive and inspiring and great to bounce ideas off of.

basically what i'm getting at is despite my brain and despite my anxiety, all i have actually been met with here is support, kindness, and patience. and as someone who has struggled greatly with my brain and social situations over the years, i deeply, deeply appreciate it. this is probably the smallest fandom i've ever been in and i've just been met with nothing but incredibly kind people. after being in hellish, large fandoms, after seeing fandoms tear each other apart, it's been. really refreshing and honestly very healing being here.

so i just wanna say... you're alright, octopath fandom. thank you for being you 💚

#octopath traveler #octopath traveler 2 #sorry for cluttering the tag i just thought y'all ought to know

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hestzhyen · 6 months ago

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Food in the Edgy Sword Manga: A Summary

This is long because I hit the image cap but I at least managed to keep things succinct for once in my life.

In short: Kagurabachi has been using food as obvious symbolism for connection, trust, general well-being, and/or mutual understanding since the beginning.

Chapter 1

Moments like these are cherished memories that Chihiro keeps close to his heart. Note his relaxed, open posture compared to the next image.

Three years later, Chihiro is turning down Mr. Shiba's small offer of comfort. He still relies on Mr. Shiba and cares a great deal for him, obviously, but his heart is closed off now.

Vs. Sojo Arc

Chapter 3

Our first obvious glimpse into the kind nature Chihiro tries to smother with edginess. He'll turn down comfort from others but he'll easily offer some to a scruffy orphan. He even makes sure he gets down to her eye level to reassure her when doing so (Hinao also did the same earlier in the chapter). Take notes, Mr. Shiba.

World's Hardest-Working Uncle Figure doing the clarifying monologue shtick to perfection as always. Just so we know that this bit with Char is perfectly in-character for Chihiro.

Char doesn't trust Chihiro yet, but she's willing to help him with his own quest at least. They connected over the meal (short-lived as it was).

Chapter 5

Chihiro being run ragged by a hungry, lonely little girl should trounce any lingering doubts that this guy is an uncaring revenge bot. You can tell by his thoughts and dialogue here that despite his brusque attitude, he's more focused on Char's quirks and well-being than the information she can offer him. And Char reciprocates by starting to let her guard down- his altruism when providing security and comfort gets her to trust him completely.

Again food being used to reference someone's well-being. Living as a science experiment in captivity was terrible even when she still had her mom (obviously). But Char's safe now with access to good food through Chihiro. Or so she hopes.

Chapter 6

Chihiro's cherished memories of his dad are corrupted thanks to the trauma sorcerer. A meal interrupted, trust and safety shattered. Only hatred is left according to Chihiro when he comes to. ...But he's not exactly the most trustworthy guy when it comes to his own status.

Instead of the science lab or the cell itself we see a tray of indistinct mush and water in a cage. Just a gentle way of bonking us over the head that the food metaphors are supposed to be obvious- and that whatever is waiting for Char back there with Sojo is not good for her (or anyone really).

The comfort Chihiro offers is a bit awkward and messy, but it's still wholesome as fuck. He's willing to give it at his own expense too. Someone please give this boy a hug.

Chapter 11

Poor Mr. Shiba. One day he'll find someone who appreciates his awkward attempts to help people. At least Hinao didn't turn him down despite the poor presentation.

Between this scene and the grilled smelt from Chapter 1, it's pretty obvious that Shiba sucks at trying to be a source of comfort, but at least he tries.

Alone and back to being mistreated. Oh, Char...

Chapter 15

Just like Chihiro, this represents the precious memories Char has of her mom. When she was safe and loved.

And once again, safety and comfort are brutally ripped away from a child and their only parent.

... but what was lost can be found again in the right people.

May nothing bad ever happen to Char again. I mean it.

Chapter 17

Ah, one of my favorite tropes! Interrupting a fierce battle scene to show the combatants having a casual chat! This time, there's no comfort or security to be had through sharing food, though. Instead, this is exchange is purely about connecting and understanding each others' views.

A bit of trivia: these guys are probably eating hanami (a.k.a. sanshoku) dango which are usually eaten while viewing cherry blossom trees in the spring. They're sweet and thus extra unappetizing for Chihiro (he dislikes sweet foods and drinks in general).

Sojo initiates and eats a single dango. He begrudgingly accepts that Chihiro's view of Kunishige's legacy is legitimate.

As the conversation goes on, Chihiro accepts Sojo's interpretation in turn. Both of them are correct. And yet:

Chihiro painfully finishes his dango while Sojo is content to leave just the first one eaten. This is Chihiro being willing and able to swallow the whole truth and all it's implications, no matter how unpleasant the experience is. Meanwhile Sojo cares more about being the one with the "most correct" interpretation. Chihiro ended up getting more out of the conversation than Sojo did, which gave him the edge he needed to win the fight.

And that's the end of the Vs. Sojo arc. The food references aren't as common past this point, but they still show up to give some extra context in a few scenes.

Rakuzaichi Arc

Chapter 19

Hakuri's just a fuckin' mess dude- alone, insecure, and can't give himself any kind of reassurance. Given what what we can infer from his monologue, it's pretty obvious this guy is going through it and not coping as well as he thinks he is.

Chapter 26

Our spaghetti queen and parfait king share a meal to let us know that they're pretty comfortable with each other... though outsiders might not get what their deal is. It's casual and they chat like they've known each other for a while. Tafuku and Hiyuki's relationship is solid despite the yawning chasm between their personalities.

Once again Shiba's good intentions are turned down. At least Char is comfortable enough to let Team Goldfish know about her wants and needs now though!

Meanwhile, Hakuri isn't ready or willing to let anyone console him, but least we have better insight as to why he struggles to keep his shit together. Most people would- and we haven't even seen the worst of his circumstances yet.

Chapter 28

After a few days of encouragement from Chihiro and helping out, Hakuri finally lets himself be treated a little. He earned himself a bit of security and respite but is still uneasy, and thus quick to let the warm fuzzies go (hence passing the ice cream to Char instead of bringing it with him). Neither Chihiro nor Shiba have any themselves.

Chapter 35

Oh man. Oh boy. Time to really get into why Hakuri is the way he is. This could be a whole post by itself but I'll try to be brief. (Honest.)

Shout out to the KB Confession account on Twitter for letting me ramble in their inbox with that long-ass submission about how Hakuri relates to food in this series. I've reworked it poorly here (so much for being anonymous I guess).

Sazanami prison food looks better than what Char was getting, but it's not out of kindness- everything in this place exists for the Rakuzaichi. Hakuri obviously sees himself as no different. He threatens to keep Ice Lady alive no matter what she wants because that's his job; there's no affection or compassion involved when he provides her meals.

Ice Lady seems to want to genuinely connect with Hakuri though. Even when she fails to manipulate him, she keeps the offer of companionship open to him since she's empathetic to his situation.

It works as she thought it would, but maybe not as she hoped. We see him coming to trust and find comfort in her as she leaves less food behind each time, but she's unable to find the same in him. His insistence on their one-sided relationship through food only pushed Ice Lady further and further away despite her apparent growing affection for him. He got it all wrong because he didn't know any better. It's painful to love and be loved as a Sazanami- especially a worthless defect like him. Hakuri wasn't able to understand the ramifications of how fucked up his situation was until Ice Lady slit her throat in his face.

Up until this point, providing food was a positive thing- people connecting and usually finding comfort. At the bare minimum it allowed Chihiro and Sojo to understand each other before the end. But Hakuri inverted and distorted the meaning of sharing food with someone. His actions helped him break free from his family's grip by revealing that he doesn't know what it means to properly offer and reciprocate genuine human connection. So now Hakuri probably associates sharing food with being used and hurting other people.

That's why we haven't seen him share a meal with Team Goldfish or anyone else yet IMO. For all that he's attached himself to Chihiro, he still hasn't exchanged any food with him. Hakuri only trusts that Chihiro saw something worthwhile in in him, that through him there might be hope outside the cage after all. He's barely beginning to see himself as a useful tool. Once he gets to the probably not a horrible human being mindset is where we might see him be able to open up and try to share food again.

Chapter 43

The normal loving family that could have been, if not for Kyora and the clan's slavish devotion to the Rakuzaichi. It's sad but not suspicious that Mrs. Sazanami isn't included much in the meal- all signs from this chapter point to a joyless arranged marriage after all. Her not participating with her husband and sons speaks volumes about how distant and miserable she must have felt despite (presumably) making that spread. To provide care, comfort, and love while not being able to partake of it is all too common for mothers.

And so, another arc concludes with people sitting down to eat together despite some of them being doomed to die. And an exploding building. Gotta have both in Kagurabachi.

Kamunabi Arc

Chapter 45

Hey Chihiro, whatever happened to waking up with fresh hatred every morning? lmao

I love these goofs so much. It's just snacks on a coffee table, but it shows that Hiyuki and Tafuku have earned some level of trust from Team Goldfish. Shiba trusted them enough to supervise their stay in the same room as his sleeping nephews at least. And Char's already completely won over apparently. This manga does not miss on the found family wholesomeness.

Hiyuki might see the Kamunabi as a sort of family. At the very least, they're an important safety net for society as a whole. Hence us seeing the food again- protection and security.

So who and what will be next? Chihiro bonding with Hiyuki and Tafuku? Kazane turning someone's offer down? Chihiro, Hakuri, and some new coworkers chatting over lunch in the Kamunabi's cafeteria? I'm definitely going to be on the lookout! Until next time, Bachibros.

#kagurabachi #I should just post everything here for convenience's sake but I feel like an overzealous dweeb for posting so often #Sorry KB Tumblr fandom but I will keep cluttering up the tags until this series stops having a vice grip on my brain #When I learn how to be funny I'll make a proper shitpost as an apology #I tried to keep the Hakuri section short I promise

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