#BTW: saying this now bc its been a problem with a lot of people/for a while. i will answer asks that are asks!

[indigopoptart]

gonna get back into the swing of things with!! some faces I did a bit ago!!!

+ closeups and oc creds under the cut!

the welcome home guys ofc <3

some of my guys!

(Niebla belongs to both me and @akemima ! <3)

-

And now, some friends’ ocs!

Lady belongs to @gremliinsart, Keira belongs to @funonion001 !!! :3

Sundown belongs to @carnivalcarrion !! <3

Damon belongs to @sammysun , Wizard belongs to @akemima !! :33 <3<3

[thatdeadaquarius]

i swear, i WAS going to leave you alone for the rest of the day. I thought 'oh no, you've bothered them enough for the day, wait until tomorrow' (they did not, in fact, wait until tomorrow) however i had thoughts and wanted to share them with you! 😊

concept: I was scrolling through some of your previous posts for a second time today (still all very cool and awesome btw) and the one about the reader saying swear words without knowing what they are kinda stuck with me.

So lets reverse it! You, the creator, fall into teyvat and CAN speak the common language there, while also still remembering your own native language. and so your native tongue becomes super holy to them (eg. 'omg, the creator is speaking in their holy tongue, lets all listen and nod')

Unfortunately, this has its drawbacks, especially because the majority of the times you speak in your native tongue you are cussing out everyone.

3 potential scenarios have stemmed from my brain because of this.

You getting annoyed at your worshippers and yelling at them, then afterwards they all thank you for blessing them

Swearing so often that the people around you start to pick up on the words and now all of your worshippers are parroting swear words at really important events, while you try and keep a straight face

Accidently teaching one of the kids swear words and then klee starts saying 'fuck' all the time and the adults are all like 'thank you for teaching klee one of your divine words, it truly is a blessing. what does it mean though?' and you're just sitting there like 😅

also thanks for being so nice about my shenhe post :) i love her so much <33

NOO dont worry abt it!! Ill just answer whenever i got the time!! I definitely dont mind multiple asks from the same person dw bby 👍✨️

Here, a cookie for ur time 🤲🍪 PSPSPSSPSPS ITS WORKING THEIR COMING IN, I ALSO HAVE CAKE AND DRINKS!! :D

So this is gonna sound demanding,, BUT SHARE YOUR CONCEPTS AND IDEAS WITH ME ALWAYS YES YES I WANT TO BE THE FIRST TO SEE IT YALL R FEEDING MY SOULLL 🛐

This reverse is so much funnier than the OG way, you have such a BIG BRAIN👏👏

Those scenarios had me fucking laughing my ass off, the BLESSING THEM 😭KLEE 😭 PLEASE-

Also this might be ass writing bc I can’t get rid of my headache rn :/

___________

Look what you've done.

It was so harmless at first, teaching Amber a word or two there bc she was curious abt ur accent,

The reveal that Teyvat's language wasn't your native language.

But that was still manageable, that was still okay

From Amber, to Eula, to Venti, to Kaeya, to Rosaria, to Diluc, to Jean, that information spread slowly but surely

After all, you didn't use it often, no one here in Teyvat even vaguely recognized it (not even a vague similarity from one of the other countries even)

It wasn't like,, shocking to the majority of Mondstadt's residents that you had a different native lang. (nor any of the other countries once they realized you were here, and had a diff native lang.)

I mean, you were the Creator,

why wouldn't there be some ancient powerful holy lang. that only you (or along with some lucky priest/vessel/follower) could understand?

.

..

However, it did become a problem when you, as the human experience dictates, got irritated 

You see, Teyvat isn’t an easy world to get used to, from the elemental reactions, the huge amount of hostile/active flora and fauna, there was a lot of room (even as favored as you were as the Creator) for accidents

You had already had a few mishaps, asking the waiter to bring you some salt bc ur table didnt have any on accident, bumping into the allogenes who wanted to walk around with you that day when they stopped abruptly

...

But now you can confidently say you can pinpoint the inciting incident in hindsight.

You had been traversing Liyue, and of course, it’s very rocky, even the well beaten paths outside Liyue Harbor were littered with pebbles and stones

So bc theyre respectful sweethearts, Shenhe, Xiao, Zhongli, Ganyu and the rest of the Adepti wnated to have a calm brunch at Cloud Retainer’s Abode w/ u <3

On the way up, bc u insisted normal walking was fine- no Xiao you want to see the sights teleportation isn’t necessary right now- nO Shenhe, really, the walk will be good for you, you don’t need to be carried-

Zhongli. 

You are supposed to be a mortal these days, not a 60 meter/feet long dragon- 

WHAM (u were so busy telling them to quit it that u werent watching ur path, aint none of their thousands of years old reflexes good enough to save u from being a clumsy fuck)

and your on ur ass.

“Fuck, ow,” immediately Shenhe has swept you up, Ganyu is rambling nervously, Xiao jumped but hasn’t said anything, but you can feel his worry from how tense he is, Zhongli’s hands are hovering, unsure if he should touch, and Shenhe- Shenhe- you can’t breathe- 

“Fuck guys stop, I’m fine-”

They;re eyes widen, Zhongli looks a little happier?? wtf all u did was-

oh no.

...

Now, everytime you have dinner with any of the Liyue characters they bow their heads, and in unison “Fuck guys stop I’m fine”

...

And it just got worse.

Bc you spent a few weeks in Liyue, and you had a lot of events to attend, little incidents like this happened everywhere

“Shit!” you drop a tea cup

“Damnit” some miner guy in town dropped his pickaxe loudly

You blame Zhongli and Ningguang.

Fuckers wanted to make sure they showed you utmost respect, so they both remembered every. single. word. of your language you have ever said around them.

Between Zhongli’s memory and elegant appearance, and Ningguang’s influence, your cuss words spread overnight

Families are now sitting around their dinner and thanking you for Teyvat’s bounty of food, “Thank you Creator for our meal, fuck guys stop I’m fine.” the kids and everything 💀

Liyue literally has become the most dirty mouthed city overnight, and they look SO PROUD OF IT  😭 😭

u never telll any of them LMAO

It’s a little rough, but I hope u got smth nice outta this, ur idea was so good I didn’t even wanna add anything but I wanted to show my appreciation for sharing those with me lol 

TYSM FOR SHOWING UP AGAIN!!

Cheers,

🌒🌊🌧Aquarius♒️🌌🌘

[dennydreadful]

HI THANKS FOR ANSWERING MY UNHINGED ASK THIS WILL BE VERY LONG BUT I READ THE COMIC IN ONE SITTING. im now going back and forth between imagining what kind of deeply toxic pseudo-vigilante shenanigans bunny (and caleb by association) get into post epilogue and thinking up scenarios where before shit got really real they both get soooooo much good therapy and heal together and end up toxicly codependent and kinda bad for each other still but in a way that doesn’t involve murder. like one of those aita posts where the general consensus is the couple should stay together bc even tho they’re both just exacerbating each others Issues at least nobody else is getting hurt. also i think dave and juicybaby hook up at some point.

have you ever seen that post that’s like “media in which it’s so very obvious all the problems could’ve been avoided if this guy got some therapy and a consensual bdsm relationship but that is very much Not What Happens in the story”? bc i feel like that applies to caleb. rip caleb you would’ve loved being a more well adjusted girl’s puppy and being led around the mall on a leash until security kicked you out. maybe next time king.

none of this to say i didn’t enjoy the comic as presented immensely btw. despite my ramblings here i think the comic ended in the most satisfying (for the audience at least) way possible. we love to see a dogboy beg for his own demise <3 we love to see a pretty girl go from justified anger to righteous rage <3 we love when characters have a deeply unhealthily fucked up perception of love and care and mental stability <3

like imo psychological horror is at its best when you take relatively normal people facing relatively mundane horrors then letting the aftermath of those horrors warp them beyond repair. in a good psych horror (at least when it’s like ii is and based on deeply human characters dealing with stuff in the most unhelpful way they can) you should be able to understand why and how things turned out like they did. you can think of a million ways it could’ve turned out differently if only the characters had seen the end coming, but the end they met was inevitable bc they *can’t* see it coming. the red flags aren’t obvious bc they increase so gradually. the bones of the building were there from the very beginning, but how were the characters supposed to know whether it’d be a home or a slaughterhouse? there were no plans, just bricks to lay and a storm coming. and that’s exactly how i felt finishing ii.

anyways. a caleb shaker charm would be so awesome i would love to go darla from finding nemo on his ass. thanks for the incredible comic my brain chemistry is different now and i’m kissing u on both cheeks in thanks MWAH MWAH

Cut because this post ended up really long, but here's Dave and Juicy:

idyllic island is a big old vent comic in a lot of ways. i drew on a lot of my own emotions and experiences to make it. i was in a very dark place for a very long time. i could have very easily gone down an even worse path, and very easily have been taken advantage of in a very dangerous way. but "guy goes to therapy and learns how to stop climbing into a wood chipper" is not a terribly interesting story imo, even if it's obviously the better outcome in real life. much more interesting to read about characters hurtling headlong towards certain doom lol

that said i always enjoy a good tragedy that leaves me feeling like "it didn't need to be like this..." (even though I know it was always the only way it was ever going to be) and imagining a happy world where everything worked out as best it could, so it's really cool to hear about someone doing that something I made!

before you read the next part just know that i LOVE hearing people's headcanons so feel free to disregard anything/everything i say here. death of the author and all that lol

imo he would have needed to never meet bunny for him to actually heal, and for her to not charge ahead on her path of destruction. even if he had gone to therapy and straightened himself up, bunny is so toxic she would have found exactly the right way to break him again (and honestly she would enjoy the added challenge). and couple's therapy would be SO BAD for him because she'd learn how manipulate and gaslight him even harder.

honestly I can't see a future for bunny where she DOESNT commit murder. she's a scorpion. it's simply her nature. it's not her fault we live in a society. perhaps she could have become a doctor and euthanized her patients discretely. i think she'd enjoy forensic science as well, but that would literally make her girl Dexter lol. maybe she could work for a three letter agency.

but yeah I absolutely agree that caleb would have LOVED to be in a 24/7 lifestyle BDSM relationship with a girl that did not want to grind him down to dust and scatter him on the wind. being a kinky freak with a loving partner would have fixed him 100%

[thunder-opossum]

I think the moink blog is a bad thing. Sure, it's cool but 1. Its providing unnecessary stress, and I dont want you to stress more than you already do. 2. Its getting kinda out of hand. And, my question, do you think the pros of the blog outweigh the cons? I'm not saying to ditch the whole thing altogether, maybe just take a while off from the blog. Now I'm aware I'm not good with words, but please seriously consider what I'm getting at here. Skittering away now.

Huff. Oh I complain a lot. If you are reading this i guess you want to hear me complain more

[Yapping and mental health stuff]

I've always had a problem with over working myself. My work ethic is unhealthy, go no stop. If I'm not done with it, but i can't work on it, it makes me anxious. I've talked with my therapist on this before, but I should probably re visit it.

I crave engagement with my art, I will literally get more depressed if a post doesn't get as much engagement as I thought it would. It makes me feel hopeless and unsuccessful. I crave feed back so much to the point where I have been pinning for negative feedback.

The Monk blog gets so much engagement. It gives my asks every day. I get likes comments people coming to me to talk about the blog, I've inspired people. But at the same time my main blog isn't enough for me bc of the monk blog..

It's so unhealthy and I am aware of that but my brain can't just flip a switch to fix it.

1:It is stressing me out. Time management, interactions, juggling the time line, and finding the line between breaking and making the blog. It's changing my behavior at school and home and keeps me fromnsleeping, it takes all of my time and that is all my fault. It's something I have to fix. But it's hard.

2: as i mentioned earlier, i have the need to preform well. Every ask left unanswered is a knife stabbed between my ribs. I let the odd ask get weirder, because people interact with that. And I get tunnel vision until it's too late. I starred at the NSFW asks all day. I reached out to mutuals to ask what to do (sorry abt that btw )my brain tugged back and forth between reasons I don't want to explain?

I can't just take a day off in my current state. But i can try to limit myself. But that means deleting so many asks. Crushing peoples hope to have their words replied to. I can try to limit how many posts I make. But that's difficult. And I'll try to start but I complain without taking action.

The pros of making a successful blog takes priority of other aspects of my life. And I know that is unhealthy, I don't feel good about it.

I'll try ill really try. My life is pitted against me... I can't say anything confidently. But thanks? For the effort? I'm sorry but being honest is all I can give you with confidence.

[hermesgoestojuvie]

do you have any permes hcs or fic ideas?

oh anon u have no idea what you've unleashed. the permes fic ideas are all i have some days, alas, im not that accomplished at the whole idea to words transition as i wish i was. i'll go into a few more concrete ones under the read more

Quick note: So like. All the things I plan to write happen when he’s 18+. and there's no sibling or parent incest. (bringing that up cause i got an. interesting dm once.) So this is just a quick disclaimer of sorts. And I’m not hating on anyone who wants to write or read something dark! I mean for instance I have a time travel Percy/Hermes brainworm that is considered dark and probably not what a lot of people want to read, so i'll tag it as such.

The One Where There is a War

Explained a little more in detail here but I have no problem talking a little about it again. It was inspired by this one perpollo fic that I'm still looking for so I can link it, bc trust me, it is GOOD. (edit: FOUND IT!!!! HERE it’s by @ghost-bxrd)The premise of that fic was a war between the gods and demigods, and my fic is meant to draw from that as well as some elements from Lore by Alexandra Bracken. It takes place post-second Giant war, but I'm toying with the idea of having the war and all related events, like gaea's rising, happen when percy is maybe 19-20? I'm not sure yet though. I might keep the timeline as is instead. For now, just know that it is post-second giant war.

Anyways, the premise is the new war the demigods have waged on the gods, when Percy, already a conflicted party to the war, comes across an injured Hermes when he is separated from his group of scouts.

2. Warning: Untitled For Now But It Is The Dark!Hermes One

you ever read child surprise by aphroditesfavorite or the breezeblocks series by violetmoreviolent?

Both are perpollo, and while I've not caught up to child surprise (i'm two chapters in, its been in my marked for later for a while, and ive had the tab open for ages, i just keep getting distracted lol) i know that it does deal with a time-travel trope, with percy, post-second giant and titan wars, waking up in the past, the day athena and poseidon compete over athens.

from what i hear, where child surprise is perpollo, there is a dark, forcecful hermes scene, which is absolutely not meant to be shippy btw! i heard from a friend who has gotten farther than me that the aphroditesfavorite has also stated that the shippy comments received about that hermes scene has made them uncomfortable so like, dont go reading it for that guys please.

breezeblocks meanwhile has a take on dark!apollo, a more ancient apollo, in a way. an apollo that you remember IS an olympian and all that may entail. i actually have caught up with the latest updates, and it takes place in the present. i dont want to go spoiling, but I will say that like, the way its all unraveling and unfolding is just so interesting, im high key invested.

@ashilrak and @mrthology have also written an absolutely heartbreaking, gutwrenching, exceptionally glorious banger of a fic, HAUNT ME, THEN- that also really captures the otherness and ancient, almost older, aspect of the olympians.

anyways, the reason i bring these fics up is because i just really love the idea that percy was born from the sea, while also acknowledging that one of my favorite parts of the whole book series in the first place is percy's connection to mortality and to his mother. reading child surprise really was root of a lot of ideas of percy emerging from the saltwater fountain in athens at the time of poseidon and athena's competition, with the idea that the trip to the past coincides with unwanted percy's ascension. it is not the birth of percy jackson the demigod, but in half, percy jackson the deity (the other half near coming to fruition in tartarus before he forced himself to stop.)

all that^ was just a very long way to say, this fic, im not sure WHAT it is yet, or where the direction its going in is, but we have established permes in the modern era, the time slipping happens when percy is struggling with keeping his impending ascension at bay, and then percy deals with a hermes at his like. prime? if thats the word. having to reconcile that with the softer versions they know later.

3. The One I've Been Struggling With

i'm just gonna copy/paste some stuff from my outline, like just the first two pages. this is the most concrete fic wip i have lmao. its all very rambly bc thats how the process goes for me so sorry abt that! anyways, starts below:-

an au that is not modern times, but perhaps in the past? Ancient Greek times? So more “ancient greek minded hermes.” Or if you think there is a better alternative, that would work too, I’m all ears. Trickster god Hermes (which he is) and minor immortal(?) Percy.

i dont know what percy's situation is yet. need to figure that out

i was looking at a comic and thought, trickster god Hermes would definitely pull something like this on Percy. And then I thought, what if, trickster god Hermes, sees this one man (Percy) and falls in love with him. But this man seems to pine for a woman who doesn’t love him back, and so Hermes takes her shape. (I don’t know who this woman would be. Annabeth? It could be her, but I also love the bond Percy and Annabath have in general, she and him are incredible friends. Rachel? I loved her friendship with Percy too.)

Anyways, Hermes taking their shape made me laugh a bit because wow Percy is getting catfished by a god. And then I was like WHAT IF- Percy himself is a minor immortal like. A young nymph-ish type. A prince of Atlantis? A demigod turned prince of Atlantis? I am not sure what he is, but, I am going to use nymph as a placeholder until I figure this out. 

So sure, Percy is immortal, newly or otherwise, but he’s young and still not fully like, aware (I don’t know if that's the right word) about what it means to be immortal because he literally was born 20 years ago, which is normal mortal young man age. And Percy is like, “I’m as old as them and I want to live as them. I was them.”

His father is protective of course, he is aware of the way of the gods and how they chase pretty people. Poseidon warned him about gods, how they come and go, how he should never fall for one because loving one usually ends in tragedy or heartbreak- that to them hearts are easily won by tricks and discarded as easily. (Thinking again: mortal Percy turned immortal by marrying/mating with Hermes? Except, then I thought, Poseidon wants Percy to be immortal–if he thought Hermes showing interest and Percy reciprocating would allow for Percy to choose to be immortal he would probably begrudgingly allow it. So then….immortal Percy? Need to think)

The big Hermes reveal is when Percy is attacked or injured, or some other god shows up, and Hermes saves him but reveals his true form in the process. 

BACK TO THE PLOT!!!

Hermes was like, I will have this nymph, and that is FINAL. And Percy is kind even though he is not necessarily always NICE, (it may be ancient greek but new yorker percy is timeless) he's sweet and cares so much. he’s a hero and so loyal. he's brave and mischievous and genuinely good, and Hermes is just. Blown away, by the way Percy loves, so deep and it consumes you, to be the one Percy cares for, Hermes thinks there is no feeling like it.

Hermes tells himself that Percy can't possibly be deserving of mortal love. So what if golden haired Annabeth (placeholder for now, still dont know if we're going the annabeth route?) is a warrior who can run like the deer and loves the very woods Percy does. No, he needs a god's adoration, a force to be reckoned with at his beck and call to fulfill his every whim the way Percy himself makes others feel. If people would be loved the way Percy loves, everyone would be a god. 

I am laughing at Hermes taking the shape of Annabeth while talking to Percy, but also using the moment to talk up Hermes. Like if Percy is in his starry eyed about Annabeth phase, Annabeth wanting to have a sit down would be so exciting for him, and Hermes as Annabeth would be petty enough to be like lemme proselytize about myself, “have you heard of the great wonderful god Hermes?”

Percy being like, “Yeah my dad tells me every day, stay away from these people and then gives me a list of gods, why?”

Hermes immediately pissy

Percy is still talking, “so yeah Hermes is on the list too- why, Annabeth? Did something happen? you look...not well. Are you sick?”

Hermes, through gritted teeth, “with all due respect to... your father, I think you should hear about the god Hermes because he's not... whatever it is your dad said.”

Percy: Well, apparently the god Hermes fixates on pretty people and tries to get into their pants using trickery.

Hermes as Annabeth: CHOKES

Hermes-Annabeth: THAT IS SUCH SLANDER. I have never.... ahem, i have never heard of that about the god Hermes

^That was the first two pages. there's 11 more of me realizing writing is hard and i have commitment issues. but hopefully i finish at some point bc this is the fic ive poured some serious time in!

anyways, that was the three main fic ideas ive been tackling. i have had more that i immediately forget about, but just know, i can think about them all day!

[choiraugur]

So you've mentioned that you like all the Soulsborne games, not just Bloodborne, but which Soulsborne was your first exposure to the series? What made you want to check them all out, and what is your favorite thing about them (each individually or in general as they also have reoccurring themes? nobody trolls people in power like they do xd) .

Also I can't forget you asking me about Creighton so I assume you like DS2 as well (rare but huge W in these trying times vvhjgjjg). Who are your DS2 favs? 🌛

I need you to know that I had to pause for like one hour after getting this ask because I got so excited to respond to it that I couldn’t think straight enough to properly manage a reply with actual words. in fact what I’ve written down here isn’t as eloquent or articulate as id want it to be but. autism works in funny ways so the best I can do rn is say words and giggle to myself with glee

im putting the reply under a cut bc it’s long af also lmao

the first dark souls was my initial exposure to the series as a whole! I got into it some years ago but I don’t think I was as invested in it then as I am now. I’ve always loved the themes of the series and the gameplay was, despite all the frustration, very fun and engaging so I wanted to check out more souls games after it. Dsi remains my favourite game of all time along with bloodborne btw! I would blame it on nostalgia but honestly the game really does have so much to offer. dark souls i meatriding is very cliche but there’s a good reason for that yk. Nothing teaches you patience like dark souls. (this game also has one of my two favourite characters of all time, gwyndolin! they managed to create a transgender allegory that speaks so closely to me- from familial expectations to the desire to be seen and recognised by the family that constantly neglects you and shames you for your very existence to the point where your identity ceases to exist because you are trying so desperately to belong. you try to forge yourself into the perfect shape but the core of the problem lies not in the shape of your identity, but your very existence. the unending cultist devotion to the people who made your life hell because this is all you have. I love gwyndolin so much)

I moved to dark souls ii after and honestly loved it (and still love it) very much. I feel like people give it too much shit and criticise it too quickly because of its reputation, which is a shame because it has so much to offer. The lore is so rich and the gameplay can get so fun if you just give it a chance. I agree that the start is difficult, but isn’t this true with every new fromsoft game you play? The thing I really love about soulsborne games is that there is a learning curve. Absolutely anybody can finish these games even if they are a terrible gamer because of the fact there is a learning curve. And sure it’s a frustrating one a lot of the time, but when you get comfortable enough with the mechanics and become more confident in playing, the experience becomes so so fun and rewarding. The estus problems people always complain about at the beginning of the game honestly stop being a noticeable issue after you discover items that help you replace this bother. I can 100% see why somebody would dislike dsii because it unfortunately went through developement hell, but I do believe that 98% of the time people judge this game too quickly and too harshly just because of the negative reputation it has. It sucks that they don’t give it a chance. I’ve seen so many people have an opinion on it (always a bleak one) without even playing it themselves also which is so dumb. At least play it man. Idk. It gets the second-installation-in-a-series curse I guess. dsii fans need to stick together and call it the best game oat to piss everyone else off

i got into bloodborne after dsi and dsii, i think I started playing bloodborne in mid 2021? Not that long ago but it has been my absolute favourite thing in the world ever since. SO much about it has kept me around because it manages to cater to so many of my general special interests lol. I’ve always loved cosmic horror and the victorian era of medicine. religion (and how those in power can use religion to control the masses) is another thing i always end up getting fixated on, so bloodborne was just the perfect thing for me. I love the themes! And characters! And designs! And gameplay mechanics! The world building! Everything is so so good. The thing that has mainly kept me around so intensely is how important exploration and personal interpretation is with this game. this is honestly my favourite thing about all spulsborne games actually- fromsoft never gives you any direct answers, and we are still finding new things about bloodborne several years after its release which is insane. It has just an endless amount of things to offer, I can’t say ENOUGH about it. I could write pages upon pages on why I love bloodborne so much, it’s difficult to keep my answer here concise. All I can say is it consumes my every thought every second of the day. Very good.

Dsiii was the last soulsborne game i got into (not fromsoft tho, that was elden ring, which i somehow only got into on august of 2023) i love dsiii because i love the dark souls series so so much in general, but for some reason it’s my least favourite out of all spulsborne games. The story and bosses are all super cool and i loved the conclusion it provided for the series, but it’s the one i find the least entertaining? or not the least entertaining, but it’s the one I think about the least. maybe it’s because i still kind of experience it as a. second version of bloodborne since i played bloodborne before ds3 lol. which is an unfair judgement but I can’t let go of that feeling it gives me for some reason. great game but I end up fixating more on the others fsr

navlaan is my favourite character in ds2 also! i love a little fucked up sorcerer. I need more grey thinking. good and bad mean nothing in the name of acquiring knowledge. nuance is required to understand navlaan and its why I often avoid reading stuff about him lol.

I’m realising my response to your ask focuses more on just my personal experience with the games rather than what it is within them that I love, I didn’t really get into detail about that at all lol but. I already said so much 💀

[flowersbark]

Holy shit. Okay. Hi. I’m also a csa survivor. I’m legit so desperate for anything sort of recognition on this issue I’ve been having for almost 2 years now. https://www.tumblr.com/flowersbark/740288973409288192/fellas-is-it-a-proship-to-project-cocsacsa-on

It relates to this post, except I am going to get EXTRA personal on this.

Tw for r//pe, gr///ming, Self-h//rm, and csa (obvsly)

Okay so I also really really reallyyy don’t like proshippers, I am hypersexual, and I have zero access to any sort of help atp in my life. Now that I have those things out of the way right now, I am essentially in a dilemma a lot like that post. One major problem, it’s not me JUST wanting to project, it’s me wanting to BE in that spot of the victim again for some reason. And I mean like srsly getting assaulted again and all that horrible stuff. Like, i THINK these ideas, thoughts, and urges I have are called “intrusive thoughts”?? But I’m not sure. I’m disturbed by them regardless.

This has been so frustrating to deal with bc first of all, I’m not a victim to gr//ming, second, yes, I am a victim of csa at a young age, and third, I find myself having some sort of YEARNING to be hurt in such a way. (Not cocsacsa, just to not let things get mixed up btw) I have looked around on the internet for so long about this issue and I find NOTHING on it, like, am I just going crazy? Am I trying to cope with it in the worst way possible? Like, I genuinely don’t know, and it drives me mad because on one hand, I have this massive theory that it’s a mental attempt of “self- h//rm”, and then on the other hand, it’s a bizarre extreme version of yearning for touch and affection, but I’m just so unsure because I can’t find any other personal accounts of anyone else!

I acknowledge that your post wasn’t about this oddly specifc scenario, and I’m so sorry that this is so out of pocket, and possibly even counterproductive (idk) but as another csa victim, would you be able to offer some sort of insight? Is that something I can even ask for on here? It’s okay if you can’t, or don’t want to, I fully understand if I just never see a response to this. I really hope things get better for you and that you’re a having at the very least, a decent day regardless. Thank you.

Also p.s., sorry for not being able to answer that question, I myself am also uncertain on a definite answer for that. Like, the most I can say is that I think it’s okay to explore unhealthy dynamics, so long as they’re both acknowledged as bad/unhealthy/traumatizing things, and not put out to the public since people can take/look at things and get weird and nasty🤢 (so generally just used in a private and secure setting)

HI !!! uhh

first off, yes you can ask for advice, insight, anything. thats why i made this blog, other than to just vent to strangers. second, thank you for giving me your opinion on the csa proship situation.

i do think what you're going through are intrusive thoughts, and i get those a lot too. especially about going through what i did again, or worse. i also fucking HATE those thoughts, especially because my mind makes it by people i know irl, especially classmate im close to. it makes me feel disgusting and like im sexualizing and making my classmates horrible people when they ARENT. intrusive thoughts arent a reflection of who you are, theyre a reflection of who you DONT want to be, thats why theyre so disturbing.

again, the almost yearning for it is intrusive. it's also a trauma response. like how people who are used to being mentally abused will seek out and be with people that will treat them like that, its kinda like that. its not a good way to cope, but its not the WORST. as the absolute worst would be repeating the cycle.

im sorry if this doesn't help, its kinda just my word vomit with no revisions,, but i hope it does. it gets better, i promise. keep going.

[horizon-verizon]

The despair and emotion liberals expressed about Trump’s win, such a profound contrast to their cold indifference (or worse) to a year long genocide, shows so starkly the racist hierarchy of lives that, behind their sanctimonious moralising, fundamentally underpins their worldview.

I'm Black but not the descendant of chattel enslaved people, but bc I am Black/a colonial-affected and have already said what i said about the PoCs who voted fro Trump. I've come to realize that on the Black side, the jokes I've seen everywhere online about Palestine becoming a parking lot or glass or the clear-non-joke form this one Black woman about Palestine is now "done" bc 3rd party voters ruined it for themselves have the main goal of staying ahead in the capitalist race towards building equity and capital for themselves.

Here's the thing. Yes, producing money and capital for the Black community as well as supporting other Black businesses amongst themselves is very important since historically others never do. this is facts. Problem is that people are claiming that Palestinians deserve to be steamrolled and lose their homeland...when:

there are Black Palestinians, Black Muslims, mixed race Arabs and such....they don't matter? What about the Ethiopian women Israel sterilized...sound familiar? The children in West Africa, specifically Burkina Faso, the Republic of Côte d'Ivoire, & Ghana, are working in cocoa factories for about 60% of the globe's chocolate supply. what about incarcerated Black American people forced to work--and definitely going to in California at the very least--as they also cannot vote while they earn false wages?

by going to McDon and Starbucks, you're essentially speedrunning the genocide that many of them weren't trying to offset i the first place, so this false sense of ungratefulness as if they were the ones who supported all along) is manipulative. It's still supporting companies that given the chance and years later, WILL have all the laws and means to go after Black people, so you're speedrunning your own demise and break down of community and use of capital. I realize that Black people have moved different and supported themselves through Jim Crow and all...why are you helping that to come sooner or guarantee its arrival? Funny, bc this is the logic they've used to argue for Kamala.

who, btw, doesn't really need the support she could have directed towards Palestinians or used to build a platform that was more aggressively anti-Republican.

some Black folks have gone out of their way to travel back to African countries and feel their "motherland" (this used to happen more often, it's slowed down now, but a sentiment is still there)

many African peoples and countries have very conservative and ult-Christian views while also facing colonial patterns of exploitation even years down their moment of independence...hello, Congo, Sudan?! Ghana, Nigeria, etc. do these populations have to be perfect in order to gain life-saving advocacy that sometimes doesn't even need you to join a protest or get out of bed?! Were they even fundraising for these Black people? I will answer, I have literally seen people say only descendant-of-chattel-enslaved-people-black-people, which with American Black people also coming from many religious Conservative backgrounds that are heavily homophobic, transphobic, sexist, etc., it shows that if they don't advocate for African black people like they refuse to do for Palestine anyway, that they simply want to play the capitalist game similar to how many Black people in history have only reached to be included in indigenous registries and tribes to obtain rights to certain lands...(yeah indigenous people have also been racist/antiBlack or engaged in such to try to protect their own identities under thee U.S. government....but all this is an example of that divisiveness that's killing everyone)

One creator said that they are leveraging their privilege to escape present genocide and complete erasure (bc Black Americans may have been literally bombed as well as killed and raped, too...but also Palestine is getting WIPED OUT without their original home...you'd think you'd find some similarity, commonality, solidarity if it's about land loss, but no). this doesn't mean that people shouldn't be looking side-eyed at every PoC Trump voter, nah, hold them to the fire (I expected nothing less from both white men and women). Which means start conversations, argue, berate, tell them about the consequences of their votes and the histories that mirror out own time. but I earnestly believe that just because Black people didn't vote for Trump, some right now expressing anger (rightly) are really helping white supremacy when they call for deportations and "jokingly" put up numbers for ICE. Biden may have fucked up for Kamala by being so late, but Kamala messed up by including Republicans...which ironically mirrors PoCs voting for Trump, right? some black people and many of Trump's PoC voters actually have something in common there.

It's so fucking crazy, bc rising xenophobia and racism basically speedrunned Germany and Italy towards fascism.

I remember thinking, like a lot of people before the elections, that the hate in the Black diaspora was twisted on both sides bec the whole point is that it's divisive.

[tau1tvec]

Honestly, I'm shocked that starfield doesn't have a bigger tumblr presence. I've been seeing skyrim and Fallout content on my dash for years now, so I figured starfield would have the same grab. I know that the elder scrolls and fallout are long-established series' but I had to go out of my way to find starfield content

Hell I even made a tag on my blog for starfield before it even came out!

I can’t say a lot about older Fallout, or Skyrim, I wasn’t on tumblr when they were released, but contrary to popular belief tumblr actually took its time to warm up to Fallout 4. Much like Starfield, it got a lot of hype leading up to it, a lot more a few weeks following its release, then the think pieces on it dropped, esp comparing it to older installments, which began dragging its engagement down. I only know this bc between its announcement, and release, and about two years of playing nothing but Fallout 4, I posted it constantly, and could see my likes reblogs kinda going down a bit in the first year, then ticking up the second, and following years.

I think it kinda depends on the content, and “aesthetic” quality of that content as well. My Skyrim gifs and sceneries do numbers, same with my Fallout ones, where as pics of my player character tend to do less, esp compared to established characters like Dogmeat and Nick Valentine, but who could resist those two. 🥹

Starfield suffers from two things, it’s a new IP, it doesn’t have the years of strong established canon or well known faces and factions Skyrim and Fallout 4 had behind it. Two, peer pressure. There are sooo many ppl talking about how terrible it is, people are actually afraid to admit they like it, hell people are still afraid to admit Fallout 4 and Fallout 76 are actually fun games, I can’t count how many times I’ve seen people start a post with “despite its problems ( insert Bethesda game ) is actually ( insert positive adjective )”, ppl are actively apologizing for stuff they like, or having to prove why, which creates a tumultuous environment where fandom and fanon even fanart can’t grow, bc everything is so focused on whether it’s even good enough to deserve it to begin with. This inevitably creates low engagement, and if you aren’t seeing a lot of engagement, its likely you don’t see a point in posting it, esp if you don’t feel it’s up to par of social media standards to show to begin with, and I don’t blame anyone who thinks this btw, I just personally don’t care about likes and reblogs enough in the way of motivating myself to post, just that I enjoy doing it and can look back on what I did and how much fun I had.

Just bc you don’t see it on your feed doesn’t mean it isn’t a good ( insert media ), and doesn’t mean ppl aren’t enjoying it in their own personal time.

[anifffff]

I listened to Ruben's podcast the other day and something he said about his mom really caught my attention. He was talking about how she couldn't buy him a toy he wanted, and she told him it wasn't bcs she didn't want to but bcs she couldn't afford it. he said it in a kind of painful way and anyone who knows about body language could see the pain in his eyes and that little crack in his past. Even though his mom explained the situation to him it still counts as a painful rejection and being rejected especially as a kid is one of the worst things that can happen.

That's why I say that any pain related to the past can lead to unhealthy personal behavior regardless of whether someone has experienced financial problems in the past loss or rejection all of these pains lead to the same behavior. I kind of assume that Ruben is doing all of this to prove that he can do anything he wants with anyone he wants even if he spends his money on useless things. And the type of girls he hangs out with are easy to get so maybe he's with them because he's also afraid of rejection. This has nothing to do with psychology but I've been through the same thing in the past and my behavior was a little similar to Ruben's. The difference between us is that I'm a girl so I didn't hang out with girls. But I was trying to get people's attention with a personality that I didn't really have, whether it was good or bad. I was just trying to get attention and I still try to prove myself and my personality by buying and spending my money on things that are not really useful just to prove that I can do whatever I want,only because I was rejected when I was little (financially and emotionally btw ) .. I just wanted to add one thing about him, and that is that when he was talking about what happened with his mom he said "When I was a kid .. a stupid kid I kept insisting on things." His use of the word "stupid kid" explains a lot of what I said now. And I repeat,I'm not speaking here as a psychology expert but as a character who has experienced the same feelings and the same results

oh its really interesting what you are saying anon, an it has a lot of sense! thank u so much for sharing it 🤍🤍

i didnt hear the podcast yet, but now that you tell me this, i will pay atention to that part

again, thank u so much 💙

[boothump]

this boything i let hit the other day was literally drool worthy can i say. i love the boys i fuck that have hardly been with boys before me, and i love the ones that are just now trying all their kinky fantasies with me for the first time but... he'd been there done that and knew what he wanted and it was soooo... good. like firstly hello, i love not feeling like i have to be the one to introduce all the new ideas. and secondly, it sort of made me understand why people get into kink in the first place. its nice to have these fetishes in a vaccuum, but when looking at someone inspires the want to act them out? knowing you're the subject of that, even if it's just basic bdsm 101? magical.

regardless. we'd been just friends before this, in fact, he's close friends with my boyfriend, so i came to him about a lot of stuff regarding him. he comes over to my place and i see him in person in full for the first time and im like woah bc he's bigger than i thought he'd be. bulkier, really? and superrrr tall. from the pics alone i expected him to be sort of waify. he tells me he's 6'2 and im like... nooo youre fucking with me. and he proves it and i got like... dizzyingly turned on. so in my head im already thinking yeahhhh put that onnn me. yk?

anyway we were chatting laying around in my bed and somehow started talking about how i naturally smelled sweet, and i joked he could shove his face somewhere to see for himself if he wanted. and he absolutely did, with zero hesitation, shove his nose right into my crotch. i'm sorta flustered and awkward and tease him, say like "what, do you have a huffing kink or something, you freak?" you know, like some dumb porno line. and he hits me back with "yeah. obviously" without even kind of losing his flow. which btw i LOVE when a guy doesnt get thrown off when i get flustered-- usually im the one leading and they start to falter when i do, but when they double down??? when it makes them more confident?? oooh it hits somewhere sweet

but yeah so he looks up at me from between my legs and makes eye contact-- I SHOULD HAVE DESCRIBED HIM let me do that. 6'2 industrial goth. GODLY thighs. amazing ass. smudgy black eyeliner and eyeshadow. pale as shit. black dreadhawk, chelsea burns. gorgeous pale blue eyes. as i was saying ahem anyway so i call him a freak through my teeth. he looks up at me and kinda grins and says "ohh, so im not the only one with that fetish. right? why are you shaming me for having it, then?" and i go quiet bc that's what i do when i'm turned on.

after a while he says "fuck it" under his breath and yanks my shorts n underwear down without a word from me. im scrambling to try and help him kick them off and theyre basically hanging off of one ankle still when he pulls my thighs over his shoulders. i think i was making commentary about how he was sick for wanting to blow me after i spent so much time telling him about mine and my boyfriend's relationship problems, and the idea of that sorta went to both of our dicks.

i'm pretty used to the boys on my contact list being so-so at head, improving on a scale from being with me. but he was good at it which was notable immediately. such pretty lips that felt so good wrapped around the base, super tongue forward. he sucked dick like his priority was to suffocate himself in my bush, which, naturally it was. and i was happy to help him with the endeavor with my fist in his pretty hair. i thought about flipping him over and seeing what his eyes would look like rolling back when he lost air on my cock but. the priority after he swallowed my load was teasing him for the cocks hes sucked before mine.

he sits up and is all out of breath with his chin and lips covered in pre and drool and ugh he looked so good. such broad shoulders, such nice hips. he was talking about wanting to frot against me but i had already decided i wanted him on me, and i told him as much. he all but moaned, told me his ideas were all shit anyway, shoved his over complicated pants down and wrapped my legs around his hips.

id had the foresight that day to lube and plug myself that morning, and at the sight of it, his eyes practically rolled into the back of his head. "youre so fucking hot." thank you. he mused about how for all the talk of them in the scene, in his time, no one really used butt plugs much, as he reached down to pump it in and out of me. something about hearing his experience in the cruising scene went straight to my dick. ugh. its knowing you're in good hands i think, knowing someone isn't just all talk. the casual confidence, the discussion of sex as if it were the air.

to add to that, after it was removed, he lined himself up with me-- "you have to be quick about these things," said with the same casual note of experience he'd carried all this time. enough, enough! i'm already dead. no crazy width or anything, but some length, symmetrical with his height. but the notable part? he pulled my hips up off of the bed and held them against him as he fucked me-- rightttt there. you know where.

i think i just about wore out every swear word i knew. definitely my best stroker on the list. what a man.

[bumblydumbly]

Notes I took sometime between my 3-4 watch of s2 act 1

* When cait offers vi the badge and she gets mad i thout it was so funny like ok NOW the cop trauma comes in? Not when you cradled her to you?

* Jayce hitting Renni with a hammer and she just. Doesnt care.

* Also Vi literally hitting Renni with the weapon that murdered her son is. Pretty fucked up to say the least after telling Jayce to get over it when he killed him

* Mel fighting to keep hextech weapons from happening bc of what jayce said and then cait popping up in the council 3 seconds later dripped out with hextech weapons for her and her dogs is so fucking funny

* The way Jinx returned silco to the water. It was always the water for them. Was always going to be. Always will be

* The ‘have you had enough?’ And then the little tiny blue whisp burning away?

* The fucking look on sevikas face when smeech suggested giving up jinx. Like she hates that its her principle but it IS. Even if she doesnt often get along with her. (The thing is. Sevika is probably well aware that it was Jinx that killed silco. Maybe bc she never saw her after Silco died, maybe she just had a feeling. Still she chose loyalty. Chose Jinx)

* Baby blue?

* claggor likely only had one pair of goggles, which we know jinx had in her workshop, and at the table in the s1 finale. It being with her in the arcade plus knowing that his goggles, just like mylos doll, make them more likely to manifest to her (which could be why she listens to music so loudly in her workshop usually) implies that she intentionally brought claggor with her. Wanted him (a fellow tinker, if his connection to benzo and ekko were to imply anything) to talk to her while she built. She even wears them instead of her own. And then Vi took him. She took him while wearing a mask just like the ones they saw on the bridge and wearing piltover blue.

* ISHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

* The talk between sevika and jinx also? “Big baby couldnt do it himself”? The olive branch in that that just made sevika drop the bottle. Like she remembered then ‘right, hes her dad’ and all the fight leaves her. The unspoken ‘but I miss him’ when they complain. Understanding in grief. Its why she jumps when her own arm is waved in her face, bc she let her guard down

* You see Sevikas lip tremble but instead of crying she gets angry and throws a chair. Jinx doesnt even jump. You can see, now why jinx calls her an ogre (derogaffectonate).

* THE HIPSHOT OF SEVIKA FOR LIKE 10 SECONDS?!?! HER FUCKIN THIGHS TOOK UP THE WHOLE SCREEN BRO!!UNNECESSARY VIOLENCE

* Gonna be honest the Ekko Heimerdinger Jayce thing is cute

* Baby blue!!!

* The Fucking. Jinx and Sevika teamup is everything. For the girls.

* Sevika is soooooo yummy this season ✨😭😭

* Viktor. That’s all I have to say. There arent words

* ��promise you wont change’ is craaaaazzzy bro that is the root of your problems currently btw. the whole going to jail for 9 years and expecting time to have frozen and everything (and everyone) to be the same as you left it, but everyone has the ability and the need to change, as is life

* Baby blue…

* Vi denying Jinx being her sister? Yah you deserve what’s coming to ya

* The fact that she agreed to flood the undercity with the grey is literally disgusting. Jinx should be denying you are her sister

* Despite all the sister denying they fought exactly like sisters do. Wasnt even a fight they was scrappin. Wrastlin.

* Cait biting Sevikas hand and she just smirks? Fuuuuuuuck

* is it gonna be whole thing that generally people from the undercity are just sturdier or is it just the ones who fight a lot bc its looking SO silly for piltover rn these mfs dont even need the mechsuits

* “It had to be you” or you could just kill me. Like shes been waiting for Vi to deliver justice unto her for an ACCIDENT its like reverse itachi and sasuke

* That fact that Vi went with “never thought [my sister] would orphan kids” only to be stopped from killing jinx by a fucking orphan like get outta hereeee 🤡🤡

* A kid from the undercity pointed a gun at Vi with fear and fire in their eyes, bc she’s become the very thing shes always hated. hilarious

* do you hear him, vi? Vanders ghost telling you that your fists dont fix problems they just make more of them?

* Jinx protecting Isha with her body and then Sevika protecting Jinx. Killing myself

* “I wasnt going to miss!” Oh so you meant to shoot jinx in the finger okok

* Wow vi how is that cop pussy you chose over your sister btw? Love loses ig

* And all the kids looking at the rainbow smoke? Knowing it was the undercity who did it? This seems to be foreshadowing something methinks

* crazy how Ambessa is arguably doing this for her family but shes so caught up in warmongering that she has no clue when her daughter gets abducted

* Medardas and forcing a rich rando into positions of power…2!

* The way Ambessa elected cait a dictator and then refers to her as a child anyway. The complex communications going on in their eye contact. That cait can see it, knows Ambessa has an angle but she again thinks herself too smart to be outmaneuvered, apparently even by a war addict. Not that she had much choice.

[lunar-fey]

you have been ASKED!!!!!! use this chance to go off about something fun that you want to rant about. it can be one sentence or be an essay. do whatever! live life!

hello. today i ask all of you gathered here to think about mushishi. this is a mushishi propaganda post. i was going to rant abt how a lot of people discredit anime as a whole bc they mostly only know of shonen and maybe shoujo, and more people need to give seinen anime a chance. but now it is specifically about mushishi.

fun fact about mushishi btw, i read once in an interview that the mangka created ginko, the main character, when she was in a dark and low place in life, and made him to be kind of the ideal friend that she thought would bring her out of this! and thats so cool. hes literally the friend ever!

anyway mushishi is a largely episodic (imo you can watch it largely out of order and be fine. a few characters show back up, and occasionally other events are referenced, but after watching in order a few times i now usually just pick and watch my favorites. you can do whatever you want!) about a man named ginko who lives in a world with creatures called "mushi" (literally means bug if you dont know!) which are invisible to the average human eye, and are kind of like spirits but if they were critters. they are often just living their lives, but sometimes they cause detrimental effects to humans, and ginko travels to help people with these problems, often simply by giving people assistance, rather than like. Fighting The Thing. imo it can be interpreted a lot of ways, but many times it speaks strongly to me as a person with chronic illness - sometimes there isnt one single simple kill it with hammers solution. sometimes you just do your best to mitigate the symptoms. it is a very down to earth and thoughtful experience overall, with some incredibly gorgeous visuals and sound design.

its my person opinion that there is at least one mushishi episode that will speak to any given person in a deep way. even if it isnt Life Changing for you, i still think its a very meaningful show with a lot of interesting things to say. it can be darker at times, but largely retains its hopefulness toward the world, and i think it can like. still help you feel better and more alright with things. but also it WAS life changing for me, and if you like more slower paced stories that dont involve perfect solutions or fighting your problems with fists, but rather learning to live with the world and talking things out, you might like it! give it a try :)

[divine-motion]

i wonder sometimes if people who complain about, say, pbta games having too little direction are just too like, conditioned to play things the dnd way. like, of course you'd think a more narrative focused game is direction-less - despite the GM having a list of moves and the players having moves of their own to influence the narrative - if you want to roll perception checks (something the LUMEN creator kit openly despises, making those generally not a thing in Illuminated systems) or have hours long fights of binary Hit Or Miss rolling. if that's the sort of thing you prefer, that's fine, i personally quite like a lot of tactical ttrpgs like Lancer, it's just that i wonder if when someone dismisses other systems it's often because they haven't taken the time to adapt to a different playstyle. and i say this because when i first tried out Masks, i did forget to try approaches to problems that weren't Directly Engage A Threat, because i've been playing dnd 5e for about... oh god, like 8 years now, and i only recently started branching out to PbtA and Belonging Outside Belonging games, for example, and a couple of short VtM 5e games. similarly, when i tried to run Lancer, i did approach it in a very dnd 5e way rather than engaging with the system on its terms and its playstyle.

i mean, it's not like i'd try to play Sable the way i play Armored Core or play Armored Core the way i play Pillars of Eternity, you know? or hell - Jedi Fallen Order is a soulslike, but i can't play it the same way i play Dark Souls 3, really, because they are still very different games. and maybe it's a different kind of learning curve because you're also engaging in roleplay and having conversations with your friends, but i'm genuinely curious if it's possible that those who chafe against new systems because of supposed directionlessness simply want to keep playing like they're playing 5e and end up not meeting the game at their level.

like i said, i wonder about this bc i've recognized this issue in myself when i play systems that aren't about Hitting Things Good and Rolling My Twenty-something Skills, and because i've had the most fun with games that are the most like Opposite of 5e playstyle that i had to completely change up my own approach to roleplay and gameplay (Belonging Outside Belonging my beloved btw does anyone want to play Orbital or Galactic or BALIKBAYANG w me), and i should mention that i'm not saying this bc i think pbta games are the best things ever that everyone would naturally enjoy - i'm well aware that there are indie ttrpg freaks like myself who don't like pbta at all either! all about taste and preferences. it's just that i also, hater that i am, think that seeing people continue to consume dnd 5e and reject anything else on the table is just going to look malnutritioned to me 😔

[abiiors]

ok i had a full nights sleep. i am coherent. i am fixing to copy/paste the tweets here for your enjoyment. its a lot.

ok so parx twit had a “trend” on unpopular opinions about the band during the sneaking out of heaven tour (their most recent one) one person said this

“Had to be said. You forgot his over dependence on nyquil and sleep drugs that borderlines abuse, he claims he's straight edge though ✨”

she deleted and posted a noted app apology

“Hey friends, I'm writing this to you, not just as an apology for writing dumb shit on twitter with no thought behind it, but to also share that I do suffer from my own personal addiction to pain medication, and have been since I was 17. Addiction is a real thing, it's a problem and it should be talked about, but not at the expense of others and making baseless assumptions. We all know where false acusations can lead, and it's never a good time. I've been reflecting on my previous inflammatory tweet about Awsten and his use of Nyquil and I want to say that I am truly sorry for my, dumb, offensive and very thoughtless tweet. I didn't stop to think before I wrote something so dumb and hurtful and I'm sorry for that. I'm not perfect, l'm human and I make mistakes. I know I fucked up hard and I'm sorry to anyone that was offended by my words. I can delete a tweet, but I can't take away the fact that I wrote it, and that it's out there causing anger to people, so l'm acknowledging that, and owning my mistakes. I am also very greatful to the people that took the time to educate me on this, I always appreciate any guidance. Moving forward I want to do better, internet etiquette is hard to get right especially when you're in a fandom spanning multiple generations and culture's but l'm definately gonna try harder.”

awsten saw the tweets and now that tour has been over for a while he has responded.

“HEY AND BTW WHEREVER THAT ACORNBRAIN WALMARTMOUTH BREATHING TWITTER DULLED CLOWN IS AT THAT SAID I HAVE A DRUG PROBLEM BC I TAKE ZZZQUIL TO SLEEP IN A BUS ON A THIN ASS MATTRESS, I APPRECIATE UR CONCERN AND I HAVENT HAD ANY SINCE TOUR ENDED, YOU CURED ME OF MY ADDICTION”

“GET COOKED WORMBREATH DUMBASS !!! I HOPE YOURE LIKE 14 BECAUSE IF YOURE OPERATING LIKE THIS AT FULLY GROWN, I FEEL SO SAD FOR YOU HAHA PAINT DRINKER”

he quoted a tweet with this after that.

“THIS AND THEN SELF-RIGHTEOUS PEOPLE SMELLING BLOOD IN THE WATER SWOOP IN TO PAT THEMSELVES ON THE BACK AND ABSOLVE THEM LIKE A PRIEST SAYING "we weren't trying to cancel u we wanted to hold you accountable thank you" LMFAO0000000 I LAUGH EVERY TIME, ITS A FULL CIRCLE OF STUPID”

“it's either a notes app apology or an "i'm taking a break" and they go priv and come back in like two days” ^quoted tweet

he also tweeted a picture of a confessional with “you are… forgiven”

“DUMBEST HILLS HAVE EYES MUTANTS ON HERE WILL BE LIKE “uM personally i think he is so immature and Anyone should be allowed to say Anything and Everything at All Times with no repercussions” SIKE BITCH THIS IS THE REAL WORLD OPEN YOUR EYES”

the person who tweeted what hes talking about is between 32-34 and followed them for a majority of the us tour. they flew in from australia for it. somebody tweeted the photo of the tweet that caused him to say that cropped so the persons @ was cut out and his response to that was

“NO MORE CROPPING NAMES, I DONT GIVE A FUCK, WE SHAME IDIOTS, WE SHAPE THE FUTURE”

“WORLD PEACE

IM OUT”

her response to the paint drinker shit was

“loved waking up to you caling me an idiot, thanks Awsten. This fucked up my mental health something fierce and put me in a really bad place”

“Woke up and burst into tears, thanks Awsten”

and a “Awsten what the fuck”

hold on ill link a few of my favorite tweets from the situation because now what the fuck tweet is a whole fuckin joke.

https://x.com/lowkeyashan/status/1782178428982059407?s=46

https://x.com/aioevera7/status/1782185227428729005?s=46

https://x.com/tantrxmbee/status/1782170160209531077?s=46

-🦞

okay what i'm about to say might be a bad an unpopular take because i only have the context that you've given me in this ask so idk if this user used to be disliked before this, or used to be beloved or super popular or whatever else.

anyway i think awsten is... in the wrong here.

this is not to say that the user who tweeted about his alleged drug addiction is saintly and pure and innocent, that was a fucked up tweet to make regardless of if awsten would have seen and/or responded.

however... if i was a popular celeb with a wholeass fandom i would NEVER say these things publicly like sure i understand being mad that someone is talking to flippantly about drug use and speculating about your drug use online but then to go ahead and call them a bunch of names as well as essentially weaponise your fanbase in a way where they're now making memes about this person, making fun of them etc. i'm glad they're not 14 like he said but he didn't know if they were 14 or not, what if they were super young... what if someone who's barely a teenager had to deal with this not only from someone they adore but also from a whole fandom they considered their own??

anyway... yeah i hope tweetuser is fine and i'm glad there's no addiction here. ooofff that's a messy situation wow 😬

[lucy4ukyutie]

Why old fans sometimes don't like* reboots of childhood shows

*or we may like them, but less than the original. Also, it isn't like that for all reboots, all types of media, and, of course, all fans.

Popular opinion: it's because we are racist/homophobic/xenophobic or all of that and in that order.

Unpopular opinion:

More often than not, they mess up with our nostalgia and crush our dreams. A franchise you loved, which may have meant a lot to you, left you craving for more... of THAT. You still wanted to see more things being added to that world (and yeah, more inclusion and representation was often one of them), but not CHANGED. An expansion or a continuation is positive mostly, but changes are very hard to accept, because it means something you liked won't be like that anymore. And reboots sometimes make HUGE changes which even deny/eliminate important things of the original series.

The changes often come out of the blue. They aren't like "that's how it should have always been" but more like "how does that fit in the world/character we already know and love???"

We can see how they (well, most modern media) exploit the youth's yearn for identification/representation to make more money out of their reboots. They put a tag on themselves saying "we have the diversity you want" and insert all possible minorities' stereotypes in only 4 characters (which didn't have such identity before, btw, so it's a new change you'll have to accept). So they think they are giving you representation, when actually all they're giving you is a Harry Potter house for you to get into without going much further instead of actually adding worthy characters which might as well portray parts of someone's identity (sexual orientation, race, etc) that weren't portrayed before. This I actually find offensive and/or irritating, because it gets so unrealistic or evident that it becomes so obvious that they're doing it as a marketing strategy, to profit from people's desire to identify themselves with smth (*especially tweens/teens*) and not to dig into and appreciate a different perspectives and so.

On a similar note, the characters' personality tend to be more "plain" since they want everyone to be able to self-insert themselves into the characters. This is also common in a lot of modern audiovisual media directed to young people, because of the same point I made above (ejhm, dirty marketing). In a reboots' case, it can feel like the characters fall short.

The story loses its "magic" or "fantasy/fictional vibe" to make it more modern and thus appeal to younger audiences. Lots of things can cause that imo. Making stories in modern settings... Making the story darker... Addressing real life problems without adapting them to the fantasy world... Making clothes too normal... Even just adapting an animation into a live action can have this effect. When the original vibe is somewhat lost or the "meaning" becomes less universal and more specific to real problems of some communities, the fiction starts becoming less fictional (and again, less like you remember, making it harder to like). It isn't an escape anymore. Cartoons from our childhood are a way of escapism for us now, even if it's just an escape from modern media (bc you don't like it too much or prefer the one you grew up with). And reboots rarely give us that.

Tu sum up: (sometimes, some old fans) would rather see a kind of continuation with meaningful additions or straight up a new show rather than a reboot which rewrites the whole show to the point it doesn't feel like *og series name* anymore.